Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 644 - Charo & Blanca - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

Hey what's up there chomos? Its Your Mom’s House! This week we got a BANGER of an episode. Jeans and Jean Jacket start the show talking about celebrity best friends - for instance, Tom Segura and Brad Pitt, Bert Kreischer and Jimmy Buffett, Christina P and Paula Abdul… speaking of Jimmy Buffett, Tim and Christine discuss Margaritaville Resorts and other severely alcoholic destinations. Then, we’re joined by Tom’s mom aka Charo and her sister Blanca! Immediately, Charo comes in hot with her classic gaslighting and extortion skills, asking Tom to give her $500 and other various gifts for basically no reason. Tom and Christina remind her about the gifts they already got on this trip, including a manicure, a pedicure, gourmet coffee and cookies, a shopping spree… but Charo saved Tom $500? What is going on?!? As usual, Tom gets Charo and Blanca to watch Horrible or Hilarious clips, TikToks, and Fedsmoker videos. Can they handle the trauma? Can Tom and Christina handle the guests? And who won the bet anyway??? Watch and find out!

Everybody heard that I just make five. What did you just say? That is a really, wait, no one even took you up on the bed. That's not how bets, bets don't work. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Brett's bets don't go. I bet this and then it is a thing. Someone has to say, I'll take that bet. Someone has to say, I'll take that bet.

You play it. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, wait, wait, wait. Here's what I want. Here's what I want. Here's what I want. I want five.

No, no, no, no. And we're back. I love your shirt. It's so vibrant. Yeah, feels good. You felt like putting on some summer collars, even though it's the middle of winter. I know, Brad gave it to me and he was like,

Oh, stop. Hey, man. He goes, you know what you remind me of? Like a bolt of light. And I was like, that's pretty cool. You guys are really getting along. You guys went sun tanning together at the tanning salon. It's been pretty chill.

He dyed your beard. Yeah, he rolled some joints for me. It was fun. Fuck, you guys are so cool. I want a cool celebrity best friend. You can have one. I know tight Pennington's a huge man. He comes to my shows.

Who's that? Move that bus. You know, it's a big deal. What else do my friends with? You know, lots of celebrities like me. Bart Post and, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, come on, you know. HGTV.

Bart posted a video of him with Jimmy Buffett. Margaritaville. I know. And I was like, is this supposed to be a good thing? I know. I know. You're hanging out with Jimmy Buffett. Why, what's wrong with Jimmy Buffett?

I mean, I don't know. Is he canceled or something? No. Look at Miss Pat's big old titties right there. Yeah. She had a special come out, by the way. She did, Miss Pat. Yeah.

So funny. She's so fucking funny. She's so fucking funny, dude. Yeah. It's on Netflix. She really is. But Jimmy Buffett, yeah, I saw this, too. And I thought, that's what Jimmy Buffett looks like,

because I didn't know what he looks like. Bart's giving him the old two bear's treatment of, like, I'll just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. And Jimmy Buffett's like, OK. Because I asked my crew, I said, do we have to load out after the first shot? How much shit did they bring in here? And they said, no, it's the machine.

I said, there's nothing. We got nothing. This is great. Yeah. It was awesome. We made a few jokes about maybe putting stuff on your equipment, but nothing happened. I heard.

I already heard him. I heard him from Rich, my sound man. And you used some of our crew. They're good guys, so yeah. Oh, we had shared a crew? Yeah. Snitches. Yeah, yeah.

Every one of my. They both have cool shirts on. That's who it, you know, he is, like, Mark Reediville. Yeah, that's true. I didn't think about it that way. And he actually lives like Mark Reediville. Like, he wears flip-flops everywhere. Yeah, that's so true.

You know, is all about that leisure life, drinking. Yeah. They're a perfect match. I didn't realize Mark Reediville was alcoholics. That's his celebrity perfect match? And then Brad and I are perfect celebrity matches, you know? Tom and Brad, Jimmy and Bert. That's so true.

Then who's my celebrity best friend? Yeah, you've got to have to find one. Hmm. Well, what female equivalent, like, who's my female? Well, I mean, it could be Cindy Lauper. If you want to go. Oh, Cindy Lauper. There you go.

That'd be a good one. Charlie's Tehran. That would be like the, if you're kind of in my lane, it would be Charlie's Tehran. But if you're kind of in Bert's lane, it would be, you know, maybe, I don't know, Paul Abdull or something? Paul Abdull. I mean, she's very talented.

She's fantastic. And I really like her, but I don't know if she and I are based on like an emotional level. Like I don't really have, I don't dance or anything. Yeah, you guys kind of dress the same. So. Simon Cowell, would that be my celebrity? No, he's to me.

Another one you could do. Let me think about it. Let me think about it. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Straight up, now, Tom. I did you many one love with me forever. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Do you remember the one where she danced with a cartoon cat?

Go to Giver, because I bust its attractant. You know, it ain't nothing. It's a natural. Don't act like you don't know other words. Yeah. Because you know all the words to like, invoke and stuff from that. Yeah, I know Paul Abdull.

Hold on to your lovin', you know the song. Now we're switchin', we're switchin' groups. Is that invoke? Yeah, yeah, but I thought we were doing Paul Abdull. Oh, I'm sorry. Do you love me? Yeah, of course I do. Tell me, baby.

I've been a fool before. I always thought it was crazy, because I didn't, I didn't like, I don't know, when you're a kid and you hear about a famous person is dating another famous person, you're like, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was like the first one I remember. They're like, oh, Paul Abdull dates our Cineal Hall.

Yeah, what? Seriously? Oh, that's what they do. Like the famous date each other. Okay. Like it didn't occur to me. And then he was in her video. He was in Straight Up.

Yeah, he was. He was in Cameo. Yeah. Yeah. How long were they together? They had to have been together a long time. Is that right? I didn't know that.

I'm assuming. I love our Cineal Hall. Yeah, I bet you they, how long did they date for? Tom, I remember. Woo, woo, woo, woo. That's it? 88 to 89? Oh, that's it.

She dumped Bad Boy Hall of Hall for a full of Howstar John Statoos. She got to bang John Statoos. That's a good one. Dude, he's hot. John Statoos is hot for like a TV actor. No, he's still good looking. He's got those pit jeans.

Yeah. John Statoos is in, he's got to be like near 60 or something also, has to. Dude, Paula, Paula got around. I like that. Yeah. Let's see. Yeah, he's still, he still looks so good.

58. Oh my God. Same age. Do you think? Okay, hold on. He's no comment. Hold on. No comment.

Not a drop. Not a drop. Here's the thing. Tom, listen. Yeah. You know how hot girls hang out together and gaggles of hot chicks? Yeah.

Do hot dudes kick it? Like, do you think he and Pitt will go out and go chick-hunting? You know what I mean? Like, do dudes do that or just girls? I think more girls do it because the thing about dudes is you want to be the hot dude in the room to get the chicks, you know?

So like, they're not going to be like, I mean, they'll hang out, but they're not like, let's do it all the time. You know? They don't go chick-hunting. I mean, sometimes, sometimes, but only if circumstances dictate it. It's not like they're calling each other. You know what I mean?

Because like, he could just walk into any room and be like, you're going to drain this or what? Yeah. Yeah. Straight up now. Tell me. Do you really want to? Yeah.

Oh, look at him with long hair. Oh. That guy's incredibly fucking good looking. Yeah. Yeah. And natural. I mean, look, he looked like that back in the day before they did surgery.

How did he not age? It really is the cum thing, huh? Oh, yeah. It's cum. There's no cum in these places. He looks amazing. Yeah, it does. He really looks amazing.

Yeah. John Stamos. Good guy, too. Everybody likes that guy that knows him. Oh, yeah? Is that Brad said that to you? Brad, other people told me, too. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Brad will give you all the intel. Okay, I can't tell you everything, but like, yeah, he... Yeah. Everybody says for real that Stamos is a really good guy. That's cool. Yeah.

Yeah. I just got to think about my celebrity new best friend. Yeah. You're kind of like... I don't even know if we can keep you around if you don't get one. You guys have any suggestions? Who would be like a good celebrity match for me to... Hmm.

I like a cool mom. Oprah? She's no fun. She's all holed up in her mansion and still with COVID, you know? Still? Yeah. I think she and Gail are still quarantining on the same property. Like...

Still? That's what I saw on Instagram. Oh, wait. This reminds me. I want to see who Paula Abdul has dated. Like her whole thing because clearly she's two for two. It's pretty wild. Oh, my God.

Nidda put in Barbara Streisand. He wants me to hang out with Barbara Streisand. Jesus Christ. Hey, she's a national traitor. She's like 80 years old, dude. Okay. It's a fascinating history. Hit that.

Okay. Here we go. Barbara Streisand. Hit it. Hit the list. What do we have here? Can you make that bigger? She's married to Brad Beckerman.

I don't know. Oh, Emilio Estevez. What? That was her husband. What? And she dated John. Scroll a little bit so I can... No.

Janet Jackson. Hold on. She was with Janet Jackson. Hold on. John Caprio, Jeff Bratton, JT. I don't know who that is. Dante Spencer, Colton Melby. Hank Kuhn, John Stamwell, Arsenio Hall.

Huh. Jackie Jackson and Janet Jackson. Jackie is in like... Is that one of the Jacksons? I don't know. It says Lorraine Bracco too. Oh, this is not true. Did you know that Janet Jackson had a baby at like 53?

No. Oh, these are the guys. Oh, okay. So we can actually see them. Hey, that's the guy that we covered last week, the Glendale guy. They're Armenian guys. Who, JT? Hey, girl, you're my girl.

Hank Kuhnunu looks like the Glendale guy. Dante Spencer, good looking guy. Dante is hot. See him athlete? I don't know. Colton Melby. That guy's got crazy eyes down there next to Emilio. Who's that guy?

Brad Beckerman. Yeah. He's got crazy eyes. He's an agent, right? He's got agent vibes. Serious show business vibes. That creepy biz. Oh, there's Arsenio.

Janet Jackson. This is where they were in a relationship. That's what I'm saying. Really? What? You didn't know this? No. Is that the different page now?

Yeah. Did it go away? No, this is what I clicked on. Oh. It's just giving a bio on each of them, but it's not talking about the relationship. Right, right, right. Okay.

Can you Google that? Did Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson date? This seems like... Can you even imagine? That's so weird. Yeah. Huh. What?

I don't understand. What? I don't know if this makes sense to me. The way that this is written, I'm saying. Yeah. This can't be true. Okay. Anyway, she's had a lot of relationships.

Yeah, she's been around. You know, she's older, I mean. I know, but I'm saying like, it seems like her pattern is like she dates someone for two years. Oh, interesting. Right? Isn't that what it looked like?

It was like two years, two years, two years, two years. Well, that would make sense. That's right about when like the glow... Glow face? Yeah, the NRE kind of starts to wear off and then you're like, oh, you're flawed like I am. Yeah.

Boring. I don't want to do this. She's done it like 12 times. Yeah. Yeah. That's not a good sign. Well, this might be the time to just kind of lock in one because, you know, the road's not that much longer

if you know what I mean. I mean, she's 60. How many times are you going to do this? Oh, you're going to age shame her, Tom? I'm not saying that I'm shaming. I'm just saying like you're going to die. It's so controversial. No, I know.

I think you're right. I think that... How old is she? 60? Yeah. It's time to choose a mate, mate. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Because your stock ain't going up any higher.

I mean, how the fuck do you date at like 60 anyways? It's got to be so hard. Yeah, I know. I mean, no, this is the beginning of the end. 60 is. Right. Which is like... I can't wait.

This is the best you're going to look... At 60 is the best you're going to look as an older person. Oh, shit. I know. Like you can still look good in your 60s. Like, but you can't... You can't. You're done.

That's it. But you can't get divorced in your 60s. It happens. It happens. Do you really want to be... Oh my God. 60 and single? I mean, I don't think anybody wants to be, but I mean, it happens.

People get divorced at all kinds of ages. I know, but that's particularly difficult. No. Probably. I mean... Oh, oh, oh. I want you to have me fun. I want you to have me fun.

I've been a fool before and liked to get my love caught in the slamming door. I remember half of me. Or am I a page in your history? Oh my God. I don't mean to make... Here's the kind of guy I want to be in my 60s. Okay. All right?

I want to be like this guy. Please. They don't want that. They don't want that. I don't want nothing all around me. I don't want no goddamn old man and none of that shit. I want a fast, crazy bitch. You get a young woman.

You want something fresh. Fast and crazy. I want fast and crazy. If you get a young woman, then you can't connect with her mentally. I don't want to connect with her mentally. I want mentally. You want to... I want to connect with her mentally.

You want to connect with her physically. Physically and mentally. Yeah. Damn mentally. I ain't worried by no brain. This is big time. Oh man. Who's Randy?

Don't bring anyone lovin' to this. Yo mama in the fuckin' stand! Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Tom Segura. Christina Pajit. Christina Pajit.

Welcome to your mom's house. You know what I, um... I just realized... What? Margaritaville is literally where drunks are. It's just, it's being drunk. Are you drunk? Come to my show.

Come closer. Yeah, like... Do you like to drink all the time? You enjoy my shows. But I didn't, I didn't put it together. I just thought Margaritaville was a place where they maybe served the margs. But it's just a place where drunks can really enjoy being drunk. That's the whole point.

Like come and get ripped here. They have us the same audience. Right. They're cultivating the same people. It's the worst. Do you like to fuckin' get hammered? It's the worst. They were a match made in heaven.

He was like, I fuckin' do that. He has the same act. They should really join forces. That would be a great dual concert. With the bus, with the rap on it. Yep. It's Jimmy and Burt. Burt goes up there.

Just does comedy for an hour. Then they're like, ah. And then all of a sudden, down, down, down, down, down, down. He comes out and does his thing. What a fuckin' nightmare. I mean, can you think of anything more horrible than like... Who's ready to get hammered? I mean, one time I opened for Ted Nugent back in the day.

Way back in the day. And look, I'm not familiar with his music. I just, I know he's very popular. And it was in California just an hour outside. And it was a lot of people wearing Confederate flag vests and shit. And then I was like, what the fuck is this? I couldn't get out fast enough. Opening for music acts is a goddamn nightmare.

Never works. Terrible. Terrible. It's the worst. Okay, who's got his head on straight? Is this gentleman from the opening clip? Absolutely. He wants a fast and crazy bitch.

I get it. He wants to connect me to Lee. Me to Lee. Fuck mentally. Fuck mentally. Me to Lee. Change that. I want no old nothing around me.

I don't blame him. Can I tell you if I'm his age? How old is he? 65? Or older. Yeah. Like, same as these. I mean, do you even want to be talking anymore?

I don't want to talk. I don't want to have to deal with somebody anymore. And all here's the thing. All a guy like this needs is a chick who's just kind of like giggle and has like energy. And then he feels like he's not old. You know? That's what he wants. You're an energy vampire.

Yeah. It's what older guys do to younger women. They suck their youth and their joy. And that's what the exchange is, right? I'll give you some money. Yeah. And then you sit on my lap and giggle and then, yeah. Yeah.

Everybody's happy. Everyone's happy. I'm just trying to bust nuts. Sounds like a good plan. Hold on. What if at like 70, you and I, we're still married. Yeah. But we're just like, ugh, I'm too tired to deal with you.

I still love you. Yeah. We'll still live in the same house. And we get our medallies. Both of us get like too young. Like I get Brad Pitt, you get whoever, Paul Abdul, young version. And they just sit on our laps and like play with us. Like our cum dog.

I mean, can we roll it back? Does that have to be 70? You're like 42? No. 42. I'm still fucking you dummy. I know, but I'm saying, you know, I'll be 43 and then I'll be 40. Babe.

Long time. I'm sitting on your lap now. I'm putting titties in your face, but I'm saying that when my titties are down to the floor and we're both tired and like over it, it will be fun to have young people doing naked girls in the house. Yeah, let's do it. I'm signing up. When have we just hired young people to come in like?

Let's give it a shot. First of all, it's such a good idea. We should try it to see how it'll work, you know? Like maybe we'll try it. Taste test it. Yeah. With our kids. I think we should get them out of the house.

Yeah. But when those hoes come in, we should just see what's up. You know what I mean? See what they do. Or just have like people, you know, those like naked house cleaning services and stuff. Great idea. It's a great idea. Yes.

Naked chefs. Yes. We should just hire naked staff to care for us when we're elderly. That would really cheer up the elderly, by the way. Absolutely, it would. Do you think there's an old folks home somewhere in Florida where the whole staff has to be naked and young and hot? Nope.

They should have one. It's Margaritaville. Yeah, that is Margaritaville. Yeah. Actually, that's hedonism too, I think. It's in Jamaica. I think Jimmy Buffett should open up a retirement Margaritaville. He has a lot of business operations.

That's his demographic, right? They're all in that age bracket. It's not a bad idea. I'd rather go to his retirement home. Yeah. Than the sad ass, you know, whatever. Sure. I'm just saying I have a business opportunity.

That's a great opportunity. I love it. That's a great idea. In Margaritaville. I don't even know more. I don't know. Margaritaville. That's all I know.

That part. Something, something down in Margaritaville. I'm a drunken, so are you. People really... You want to get drunk? Yeah. People really, like, people really base their lives on getting drunk. Like, it's always like...

Nibbling on sponge cake. Watching the sun bake. Why are you saying it like you're having a stroke? I don't know. All of you parrot heads. Because that's his... Oh. That's his...

His mommies. Right. They're called parrot heads. There it is, wasting away. Again in Margaritaville. Yep. Searching for my long, long lost shaker of salt. Salt, salt, salt.

Some people claim that there's a woman to blame. And I know this is somebody's fault. Jesus Christ. This sounds depressing. Well, yeah, it's for drunks. Yeah, it sounds like a bummer in Margaritaville. Are you a fucking drunk? Wasting away again.

Wasting away. Jesus. Searching from a lost shaker of salt. Play it again. Play it again. And I know it's all you women's fault. Yeah, I mean, this is depressing. Yeah, yeah.

Jesus Christ. Well... I think she might be a Nantucket cutie. I mean, this is terrible. I don't want to go there. Sounds like a real... Let's get fucking drunk. It's fun.

Ugh. I'm trying to tell you that. You ever know those people that are like, yeah, you know, if you just drive like two hours this way, there's this town and there's all these breweries and then there's the vineyard and then there's... And you're like, I don't... So many great bars.

Yeah, like, I don't fucking care. What was it you I was talking to? They're like, if you've been to Orlando, the Disney World there, so many bars. And you're like, why would I go to Disney World to get drunk? That's the last fucking place on earth. Pretty rad.

Have you been to rock and bruise? You got so many beers, bro. What's that other fucking place called? What's like the hang... Just get drunk at home. What's the hang that has the... You know what I'm talking about. They have video games.

No, the other one. Dave and Buster? Dave, they're like, go Dave and Buster. You get fucked up. It's a fun time. No. No, you're thinking of BJs, though. That's...

But Dave and Buster is another one when people go... I mean, like, people go anywhere. Just like the whole goal is like, where can we get fucked up? I know. And... You know that I turned down a date with a girl when I was like 21. Like the age where you shouldn't care.

I love these stories. And I was like... They all come out on this podcast. I know. She's like... So my friend had... My cousin had set me up. And then I was like...

Oh. You know, she's like, where do you want to go to this place? We can get drinks there. Or... Do you want to go to this other part of town? We can get drinks at this place. And I go, well, as long as we can get drinks. Because like...

Gotta get fucking faded. Yeah, we could drink all night, right? And she was like, oh. That was like a smart ass. She said like three times. You know, I still remember. I was like... Yeah, I mean, or we could go to like some place

that like drinking isn't the priority. You fucking loser. You know? I think... Because here's... I'm not a prude, I drink. Yeah. Me too.

But I think you're right. There's something to like the whole day's plan is drinking. Like every now and then totes. Once a year. Hey guys, let's get fucked up during the day. Great. But when everything you do is like...

Where can we get fucked up? Yeah. That's a weird one. I always thought that was weird. Down in Margarita. I mean, there's nothing like... It's obviously a big thing. Because like, I've talked about it before,

but I have such... Not just contempt and disdain, but I look so down upon airport drinkers. Oh yeah. Like, you know, like... Oh yeah. I don't even pity them. I just...

I want to discard them. I want to throw them away. Oh yeah. And I walk through the airports and I'm like, look at the fucking loser pit over here. Yeah. Like people were like, hey, can I get one more for my flight?

Just like a little... Loser pit? Yeah. No, not... You know what's the bigger loser pit? Yeah. And they don't even... It doesn't even exist in most airports anymore.

The glass box where people can still smoke in. Oh yeah, that's done. You don't give up. You do that? Fuck yeah, dude. It's dope as shit. No one talks to each other and just... Quietly...

That's done, right? I feel like that's done. I mean, the last time I saw one was in Macau. Like, I haven't seen one in America. Salt Lake City Airport has one. LAX had one. LAX doesn't anymore. It's gone?

For sure. It was... You know what's funny? It was like there was trees in there. It was like an arboretum. Like, for dirty smokers. The stinky ass room. Stinky.

Vegas. You can still smoke everywhere in Vegas, right? Yeah. Can you just smoke on the showroom floor in Vegas still? I don't know. Yeah, most places. Because I would rather have a smoking open section in doors and just let people smoke in a wing

than the box is so demeaning. Do you know what I mean? Like, we're sealing you into this box. It's gross. It feels a little sad. I'm thinking about morning flyers drinking too. Oh, it's disgusting. I'm a loser, I agree.

I always feel like things going well in your life. Wait, was it... Hitting your goals? Forgive me if I've said... Have I said this before on the podcast? This guy who... I think we were landing in Austin and he's like... No, we were delayed.

And he's like, well, I can't go to the bar. I was going to get a bar and go to this bar and drink. Now I can't get my drink before someone picks me up. No, it's a long beach airport. I can't get my drink before my friend. And I was like, stop talking to me. I don't want to hear any of this. I'm not on the same wavelength as you.

I have two little kids. You think I'm a drunk mom? Look at me. Well, that just shows you that those people exist together on a wavelength. You know what I mean? They're looking for others. They're looking for someone else who's like,

I want a drink too. Get more drunks for the flight. More drunks. I like to drink at home. I don't want to be out in public. I don't mind drinking what? Is that stupid to drink at home? No.

I like to just be tasteful in my own house and not have to smell other people. We have a little sense of decency and dignity. Yeah. Not have to pee in a public place. Make a mess of yourself in public. Remember when we went to the bar in Florida, Cunt Whiffs?

Yeah. I believe you are adjusting the name, but yes, I remember. Cunt Whiffs. And that place was packed, dude. Yeah. And it was during like hardcore pandemic. They don't give a fuck.

Florida. They don't give a shit. But that people really love being at Cunt Whiffs and there was like a horrible band and I just love it. Yeah. You go there, you got a whiff, everyone's cunt. I'm so weird.

We were saying wouldn't that really, like much like Margaritaville, excellent marketing. You got it. Are you a boozebag? Are you angry at a woman? Can't find your salt shaker? Like all that stupid shit? Yeah.

Come to Margaritaville. Yeah. Cunt Whiffs. Yeah. We know what you like. You like to whiff them. You like to whiff them. Yeah.

Come here. You sniff the bar stools. God, I love pussy so much. Oh my God. If they served that in the bar in the morning, I would take that before the night. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

Pussy juices? Sure. So speak. Okay. I can't, I'm not even going to talk about pussy juice coffees. What do you, what do you love? That was Listerine. Why do you love pussy?

What's the smell, the smells? Oh yeah. The whiffs? All of it. Yeah. Guys, guys really, really love. Yeah. Vigines.

Dicks, but I don't sit here and go, I love dicks. Yeah. Not as hard as you like. There's something about a woman that talks like that, everyone's like, ugh. Right? You're like, she's cool. She's like, I love dicks.

Yeah. It's not in our nature to be like, I just love a good dick. Yeah. But speaking of dicks, so you know, I'm obsessed with this new Camilla. Camilla Parker Bowles is going to be the next queen consort. She like dicks? Yo. Let me tell you something about this hoe.

So Camilla Parker Bowles and Prince Charles, they've been banging since they were in their 20s, right? Yeah. So he's a young, hot thing. Yeah. He hooks up with Camilla. He doesn't want to get married to Camilla because he wants to bang around. She gets married to Parker Bowles, this other guy, and he comes back from the military

and they hook up again, and Camilla's had a baby with somebody else, with this Parker Bowles guy. But listen to this shit. Listen to this. Are you listening? I'm looking at her. I'm listening. Yeah.

So long story short, you know, they have an affair with Diana. He's married to Diana. She's a homewrecker. And her great-great-grandmother was the mistress to his great-great-grandfather. Isn't that interesting? Yes. And that's how they meet. She comes up to him at a horse match, you know, they love polo and says, now, here's

what's interesting. Fucking polo. So stupid, right? Yeah. They love horses and dogs. That's what they love. Okay. So anyway, but listen, this is the crazy part.

So Camilla is married to Parker Bowles, this guy, right? They have a big castle. They got the kid. They got it. They're fucking married. Charles comes back from the military and he's like, I'm in you, girl. Like I'm feeling you, Camilla. So the husband basically condones the affair.

And there's a report of, there's a big party, right? And Camilla is dancing with Charles and everybody's there. Like all these fancy elitists, whatever, upper crusters are there. And Camilla and Charles are making out like in public. And then eventually they walk around in public and everything. So like the husband just is like, yeah, it's fine. And all three of them are quote friends. And it's just known that Camilla is the mistress to Prince Charles and the husband is like,

yeah, I guess. I mean, what do you- No idea. How do we even think of such a thing? Well, I mean, that's pretty elaborate story. You just told, do you think that when Diana died in that crash that Charles was like, yes. Totally.

Like- Totally. I don't have to deal with that anymore. Oh, totally. Because I don't think Diana really knew the gig. You know, she thought she was getting married for love. So- Yeah.

Yeah. What is the story with him? So they're still friends? The first husband, Camilla? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He even condoned the affair and even walked next to the carriage during Charles's wedding. What? Yeah. Like, they were all friends. They really were friends. So- Did he remarry? Which one?

The husband? Yeah. Andrew. I don't- I think so. I'd say sure. Andrew. I don't know. I don't know.

I haven't gotten down his rabbit hole. I'm only- I'm so far I'm into Camilla. Hmm. I can't- But I can't even imagine. Do you think it's- Do you think the reason he condoned the affair was like, oh, well, this guy is the future king of England and what the king wants the king gets? I don't know. Or is it-

Yeah. Is it like- He did remarry to Rosemary Pittman who died in 2010. Wow. But- Or is it something where it's like an upper class thing and where they know they're supposed to marry out of money, right? Yeah.

Like Camilla was a debbie taunt who married this guy because he's a rich guy. And they just give- Does everybody do that? That's like upper class. They just have affairs and they don't really love each other. Maybe in royal family, royal life. I think that's what it is, right? Could be because it is not a natural way of meeting and courting and all that. It's like you're supposed to meet this person.

Yeah. Talk to her. That's who you should be with. So you don't- Like the normal way obviously is like you meet people under kind of more organic circumstances and things flourish if they do naturally. So I mean it would make sense that if you're like, I was just paired up with you and there's nothing between us. You know.

Cool fuck around. You feel less loyalty. Yeah. It's such a wild life, right? Yeah, of course. I mean it's like it's a fantasy land. You see how they live. It's like doesn't seem real at all.

None of it seems real. No, that's the whole thing. None of it's grounded. The whole thing is that it's like show business that they're born into, but they didn't choose to be in show business. Like you and I chose this business. So there's public and there's a private life as well. But they do it, but they're born into it.

It's so fascinating and weird to me. It's really interesting that whole, the most interesting part of that whole thing is the Andrew Parker Bulls being like, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Go ahead. I've always liked Chuck. Good guy. Yeah.

Yeah. Because in the past, kings can always take a mistress. That's just how it goes. They would have tons of kids. Or if you're French. French people do it. The French do it too. Yeah.

Yeah. The French, like when they get, the men get older, it's like old tradition that like they would have their girlfriend too. Of course. And like the old wife would be like, he's, you know, but I think women can do it too in France. Can't they? I don't know.

Should we move to France? Sure. Hey, Frenchies. Our little French man, my man, madame, my man, and your mistress, and that means eat my asshole. Please. I said, please, merci, merci beaucoup. You know, it's so funny, that diet book, French women don't get fat.

Talked about eating ass? Yes. Really? Yeah. Because you get E. coli and then you vomit at the time. No. Basically, it's starvation. That's how they're so skinny.

Really? Like if I went to eat chocolate, I eat chocolate. But they only have one bite. You're like, well, that's not. Well, I went to this French bistro one time where I was like, man, there was a French guy running it and he brought out multiple dishes, you know? And I was like, this is so good. I go, you eat like this every day, he's like, yes, but it's two bites of this and three

bites of this. So he's like, I taste everything every day. Just taste it. Yeah. I don't eat full fucking portions. That's what they do. That's what we do here. Yeah.

In America. Yeah. So if you have like your pasta serving, you find out there's actually nine actual servings of pasta. You're like, uh... In Italy? In Italy, they just give you like a little... That's a little thing.

Yeah. One spoonful. Here's your pasta. Yeah. And don't they bring pasta at the very end? I don't know. I think it's like, if you're not full yet, piggy pie, here's the thing of pasta. This will fill you up.

It's okay. It's not like, here's your, you know... It's only smells. It's okay. It's only smells. It's okay. It's okay. It tastes good.

I like it. It's something in your tooth. It's god punishing you. Yeah. Yeah. Big black puke. Touching my camera through the fence, you faggot. Oh, my God.

Ah. Oh. I didn't even get to tell you this. So much been going on. We located fed smoker, the car. Herk's car. What? And I, uh...

I told Zolo, fucking buy it. I didn't even have a place to put it. I just like, I want fed smoker. He's like, all right. I'm on it. I was so geeked. I was walking around the hotel. And I was like, guess what?

I'm going to get fed smoker. I was like, so excited. And then he called me back. They crushed it. No. The junkyard crushed it. How could they? I don't know.

They're sitting there on a fucking national treasure. And they're just like, we'll crush this. No respect. No respect. It's a fucking goddamn night writer. And they just smashed it to pieces. That's terrible. I really, I would have loved to have the fed smoker.

The fucking fed smoker ride? That would be so cool. With all his gear in it. Think about all the crooked cops he took down. I know. Driving around the country and that. Think of all the different dogs that died in there. All the teeth that have been extracted in there.

It's fucking amazing. It was very artistic. He had like art on the ceiling and stuff. Yeah. What he wrote there. Yeah. Writing something. Is that what they said?

Yeah. I asked Zolo. I was like, what was it like when you talked to them? And he was like, they were very familiar with the car I was talking about. Like what they say is like, oh, you mean the Mad Max car? Like that's what they called it. I can't believe they crushed it. I know.

Wouldn't you keep it just out of. Yeah. Even if I was a junkyard, like this crazy ass friend. I might have kept it just for fun. Like why not just. It broke my heart that it was so. It was so excited. Anyway, heartbroken to to not get fed smoker.

But stupid, you know, those idiots. They don't know what they're doing, man. Our life is appreciating the beauty and then letting it go. Yeah. That's so profound. Letting it go. Let it go. That's the real love.

I feel like letting stuff go. Letting it go when Margarito. I'm a drunk. All of you are welcome to my show. Where is Margaritoville? Don't they have it in like Tijuana and all these dumb horrible places? Yeah. Like Florida.

That's the keys. Yeah. Keys. Google where they have Margaritoville. Yeah. Yeah. What a nightmare. Do you think all the drinks are named stupid shit after his songs and stuff?

There's one in San Antonio. Oh, good. Let's go to San Antonio. Oof. Look at that aesthetic too. It's just like calm trees and like bright colors. You want to get drunk real bright out. Well, and bring the kids.

Yeah. You can get faded and your kids can drown in our pool. Cool thing is you can still get fucked up. Yeah. There you go. Oh, happy hour. Three to six Monday through Friday. Happy hour.

Oh boy. Are you drunk and on a budget? Come to our place. What a nightmare. You already sit down to eat and they're like, it's like a real cheery way. He's like, you actually sat here right in time. We got a fucking four for one drink special going right now. You guys ready to get started on that?

We got our super special. They're called the Monday Margaritas. They got extra vodka and tequila and an extra salt. And you're like, I'm good. And they're like, oh, you know, we actually have a right now. They're actually doing a little special deal on one. You're like, I don't want one. And then they're like, huh, what are you doing here?

I fucking want to eat. Yeah. Yeah. I fucking fated it. Yeah. And then they're like, oh, they're like, oh, you're not going to drink a bunch? No. I guess my tips going to suck.

You know, it's hard. Can you please go back to the Margaritaville website? It is everything I hate. Hold on. Look at the logo. It's primary colors. It's bright as shit. Right.

And then the food, it looks terrible too. Like fake. Oh, it really looks like a nightmare. Yeah. Of course it is. That would be one of the worst experiences you could have. $4 and eat domestic draft. Wait.

And then there's $9 shrimp. Like do you want to eat $9 shrimp? I don't know. I don't know. But Bert loves this. This is Bert's dream, right? Of course. This is Mecca.

Of course. Caribbean chicken egg rolls. How many different, how many different margarita scrolls to the top? Volcano nachos. We have to have a whole bunch, right? Oh, there's the perfect margarita, the uptown top shelf margarita. All the drugs. The last mango in Paris.

Finns to the left. Who's to blame? Yeah. Watermelon margarita. Living it up. That's a lot of drinks. Yeah. 10 different types of margaritas.

Yeah. Oh, and there's Buddy Bear's moonshine favorites. There's some more. Lightning strike. Tropical thunder. The tsunami. Do you know how sweet that would be, too? I'm not kidding.

Here, let's hear what's in the tsunami. Old smoky white lightning and hunch punch moonshine are how sweet and sour with the splash of sprites. This, honestly, it sounds like you're just like, hey, man, why don't you put some cupcakes in a blender and just drink that? Put some tequila on that. I know. It's so sugary.

Jesus. Booze in a blender. That's my favorite. It's five o'clock somewhere. That's the... That's the drunk's mantra. That is the drunk. Yeah, the drunk's mantra is like, it's five o'clock somewhere.

Give me a hurricane before... Give me a hurricane before... Close your eyes and imagine you're there. Margarita gola tequila. Jesus Christ. Wait, wait. This one's the best. Give me a hurricane before I go insane.

Margaritaville silver rum and paradise passion fruit tequila. I mean, disgusting. It's all trademarked. Yeah. Get reggae with a blend of Margaritaville spice and coconut rums with your very own Bahama Mama. Lime in the coconut. Oh, God.

So nice. Oh. Agave escape. Oh, yeah. And then now there's a frozen. Jesus Christ, man. How many ways can you get hammered? It looks like about 45 so far.

Beer. Loaded land shark. Dry land shark. Jesus Christ. It's probably one of his too. He probably owns that company. Wow. This guy's really got a good business model.

Oh, yeah. Booze. Yeah. It's a good smart guy. That is a good business to be in. And then he's got so many beers. Look how many of them. I know.

Wow. Now you're going there to get fucked up. I was drinking wine at Margarita. That was the whole point of going there. You should not order the wine at Margarita though. No. You gotta know better than that. Yeah.

That ain't gonna work. That ain't gonna work, man. That ain't gonna work. Oh, my God. So fantastic. It's great. Really impressed. I didn't realize how much I didn't like Margaritaville until we went there just now.

And I was like, well, this is really my nightmare. It really would be. For me, it really would. If you're like, there's only one place up and we can eat. I'd be like, where? Yes, we're starving. Margaritaville, Mike. Let's go to the grocery store.

It's like that one time. Remember when we were in San Diego in the Gaslamp district with the Alcanane? Yeah. This is like a decade ago. Not a decade, but yeah, close. We didn't have kids then. Anyway, we're all hanging out. It's late night.

It's like midnight on the Saturday night in the Gaslamp. And we're starving because we're done with our shows. And the only place we can find food and take refuge in is TGI Fridays. Yeah. And we were like, thank God for this. Under normal circumstances, I don't want to go to Fridays anymore. Yeah. Remember when you were a kid and you thought Fridays was like so good?

Yeah, for like a month. Yeah. I used to love TGI Fridays. Who really loved that? Top dog. Top dog. What did he love? You want to go to Fridays?

Yeah, Fridays. You say Fridays? Don't they have the Jack Daniels chicken and shrimp? Jack Daniels chicken and shrimp. Is that them? Yeah. That's TGI Fridays. Or is that Applebee's?

That's what I don't know. That might be Applebee's. Really? No. The Jack Daniels part sounds like TGI Fridays. Yeah. Right? Isn't that it?

Yeah, Jack Daniels. Yeah. Look, that first thing says, what happened to Jack Daniels? The Jack Daniels items are called Friday Whiskey Glazed. Oh, they probably had to take it out because of the Jack Daniels trademark. Oh, okay. The name, I'm guessing. Now it's just Whiskey Glazed.

Man, he would be like, they do a good job chicken and shrimp. And you get a good deal, you know, $17. It's not bad. Shrimp and steak. I like it. It's good stuff. Yeah. Well, that's true.

Now I shouldn't say that. I don't like Applebee's. I never had a great thing at Applebee's. TGI Fridays, there's some great dishes. Okay. I mean, your dad's not wrong. And I like their spinach dip. I like me some outback steakhouse too.

Yeah. Sometimes you just end up there. Honestly, like when you travel as much as we do, you're just on the road. Sometimes you're like, what's open? Where are we? And they're like, it's fucking TGI Fridays, bro. Yeah, I love it. You just go.

Chili's, I won't turn down the chilies. Really? But Applebee's is dog shit. I never had a good experience there. Everything tastes so shit. What about outback? Outback does a good job. I like outback.

The blumen onion. Blumen onion, shrimp on a Barbie. Yeah. All that shit's good. Yeah. That's funny. I never could see your dad. He liked TGI Fridays and he always, he hated Italian food, which I can't even understand

when not liking cheese, red sauce, pizza. I don't get it either. You know, I don't even know people. People are like, I don't like pizza. I mean, I'm not a pizza aficionado, but you know, like what? You don't like pizza? Not a huge fan. Wow.

And no Italian food? Not really. Whenever anyone's just like, hey, you want to go get some Italian? I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Like they're almost like one of my best friends. He was like, hey, I know this really good pizza spot. We got to make reservations.

I was like, fuck that, dude. I'm not going to a reservation. Here's the thing that people fuck up with Italian food. They assume that Italian food means just traditional like red sauce pasta dishes and the cuisine is actually much broader than that. You know, like what? What outside of pasta and pizzas? Well, I'm saying like there are tons of fish dishes, chicken dishes, meat dishes that like

there's all types of like preparation that has nothing to do with pasta and marinara sauce that is actually traditionally Italian, but a lot of it's regional. Anti-pasta. Brandsino. Anti-pasta. No. I mean, well, no. It's just like literally all types of food that are very Italian, but they just don't

line up with what America thinks of as Italian, you know, like Northern Italian cuisine. It's very different than Southern Italian cuisine. Like chicken parmigiano, right? That's the typical. Yeah. Because that sucks, too. Yeah. That would be very, yeah.

Okay. He's not understanding what you're saying. I know. I think I should be. He's not understanding. Talking to someone else, maybe. Yeah. Talk to me.

Let's stop for a moment so you can set up because I'm very excited about what's going to happen next. Oh my goodness. Okay. We're going to stop right there. We're going to stop down. You're going to set up for the next segment here and we'll be back shortly with- Right after these words.

We'll be back in two and two. Okay. Now, how did you guys get ready? By spending three hours in front of a mirror this big. Seriously? Why? I'm not lying. And I said, Blanca, she looked at the mirror and she said, you still look terrible.

More makeup. More foundation. More eyeshadow. And she says, now your wrinkles look more obvious. Put some moisturizer. Yeah. It was funny. I have a process.

We have like a paste in here. Good. Then you look great on camera though. Look at yourself. You've got to paste it on and then you look smooth on camera. I see you and Tommy. You'll see. See yourself in camera four.

Camera four. What is shadow? Camera four. Four. I don't see you. Camera four. Read them. I look like a man.

So it's not only the voice. You know what you are? A handsome woman. Have you ever heard that before? Yes. It's called lesbian. And now it's really becoming suspicious. You're a handsome woman.

That's what happened. A handsome woman. Tom calls me that. He says, I'm a handsome woman. Yeah, but looking at you, they can call you whatever he wants. That's true. Everybody knows. You look each day better and better.

It annoys me. Tell him. Oh, he knows. I think he's ready to trade me in for Tina. Did you see that girl in the... The one with the face and... Yeah. He likes that girl.

I didn't see her. I missed that. Oh, you'll see her. My boobs are hanging in here. Your boobs look great. No, wait a minute. No, I just saw it. Yeah, that's looking good.

Maybe pan. Yep. There you go, Charo. Look at those tits, dude. Her boobs look so much better now. I like it. Oh, my God. Like that.

Maybe tilt up a bit. But we don't look at that, no? We don't look at that. No, no, no, no. You should turn your chair. Your chair is facing that way. Turn your chair back. Huh?

I didn't turn the chair. The chair was already set. Kenny, can you help me? It's a notable chair. It's not set. So, okay. So, I'm going to be talking to you. Yeah.

I am not in there. Because you just turned your chair. Stop turning your chair. You got to keep it. So, once they, once they, you guys, do me the favor. Any and enough. Position these two women the way you want them to sit the whole time. How long?

How long we have to be in that position? It's only for five hours. It's a very short. No, wait, 40 minutes, 30 minutes. There you go. So, how they position, you do not move. So, Blanc could get good and comfortable. If you want to sit back and chill, then sit back.

But then let's move the mic towards you. There you go. So, let's position them to get comfortable. There you go. You're going to be talking to us for 30 minutes. There you go. How's that? There you go.

Check her mic out. There you go. Make sure she's good. Not a floater. Can you make sure that Charo hears her audios at the right level? Because they don't. I can hear you there. No.

She can't hear herself. I don't think so. Oh, you need to hear yourself through the headphones. Yeah. So, test her. I'm pretty sure they don't know. I can hear myself. What we're asking them.

Yeah. But I just need to make sure that you're actually. Take the headphones off of her head and listen. Now we're coming. No, I can't hear. Yeah. I didn't know you could take my hearing aids all up. Blanc, it's good that you didn't.

Oh, my God. See, you're supposed to hear yourself. I can hear myself. So, let's do some tests. Let's see if they can hear clips because they can't hear. Can you hear this? I'm going to make you cry. I'm going to make you cry.

That's it. Yeah. Did you hear that, Blanca? I hear what? What does this guy say? Say it. I'm looking for girls for cosy. Did you hear that?

I'm looking for girls at night. I don't know what else. Yeah. Okay. You heard that. So, you can turn it higher if you want to hear it. Perfect. Louder.

Remember, I'm dead. Yes. That's what I'm saying. So, you can turn up the volume. If you want it louder. For Blanca, put it louder. Put it louder for Blanca, Danny. Help her.

You just turn me down. Okay. Now I'm loud. Now I'm low. I can hear. You turn it down? Yes. So, turn her up.

Okay. You turn her back up. Show her how to do it. Show her how to do it. Yeah. Sometimes I hear people understand. That's my hole. Can I talk?

Hey, Mom. Are you ready to do the show? Can you hear me through your headphones? That's my hole. That's my hole. Yeah. You got it. You heard it?

I can hear my hole. I don't like the voice. Oh, you don't like that? I can hear very loud. Yeah. But that's good. I can hear it. She likes it loud.

No, she's... Come on. Show me that you like me. Danny, can I have some more coffee? Thanks. Come on. Show me that you like me. Give me a little ice in it, too.

Show me that you like me. You have coffee? Yeah. Don't be stingy. You have to stay here next to me. No. He needs to go in. Okay.

Oh, shoot. Which one of these guys do you think is the cutest? If you have to choose one? None. You have to choose one. I only see two guys there. Yeah. Which one do you choose?

And those two there? Yeah. Him. Which one? The one that is on the painting here. Oh, the orange guy? Jin. She means Annie.

Oh, Annie. The white. My guy. The white. He's cute. You like Annie? You date him? No more?

No. Who is he talking about? I'm lesbian. You got that beautiful mouth. Which one is he talking about? Charo said she wants to date Annie. Danny. Which one is Danny?

Danny. Danny. Is that guy? But do you like hot sauce? Yeah, this is Danny right here. Oh, that's Jin. He says Jin. Oh, that says Jin.

You're right. That's Jin. Did you turn your chair again? I feel like you did. I feel like you turned your chair. Yeah. Your chair is definitely facing that way now. That's right.

You're going to start painting another one of these, huh? Blanca. Blanca. You fully turned again. I'm fully. You taught her. Yeah, you turned. This is just different more than that.

It told me. That's not enough. But you know what? That's what it told me. This is going to be a show you won't forget. Oh, I know. You don't think I know that? Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. And I want to be so entertained. Oh, shit. What are you? She's bullshitting. Oh, sorry. Oh, you can curse. You can definitely say that.

That's as far as you go. Yeah. You can say that. You can leave that here, actually. Yeah. It's probably best. Do you have ice? Can you top her off?

Yeah. If he wanted you to say bad words. Just talk. You have to put us a condition. He has to take you to Nima and Marcos and buy you stuff. She thinks I am her. I know. I did that in the last year.

What do you like, Blanca? You don't like stuff? What do you want? Oh, of course I do. You do like stuff. But I know it's hard to like things and not to have the money. So I bought more things today. You did?

What did you buy? More sweaters. Where did you guys go? Back to the mall? We went back to... No, not to that store. Who took you? Maria?

Maria took us to the... It's not on Taylor, but they love. So we bought... Great. Your tits look great. Oh, it's a nice top. All right. 40% additional.

All right. Ready to be counted in? Yep. Ready in cinco, cuatro, tres, dos. And we're back, as always, concha tu madre and welcome... Oh, come on. To another segment of this show. No, no, no.

I would like to welcome for the... What? Yes? Don't start with that. This is your real madre? Yes. You know what you are saying? What did I say?

I want to screw your madre. Okay. I'm telling... I'm telling the audience. Yeah, but you are telling about your madre here. You are insulting your madre. Welcome to... And you're bringing your madre...

I know, but I'm telling them concha tu madre to their mom. Yeah, it's not directed towards you. In front of your mother? No, this was a greeting. It was just a greeting. Just greeting them. Oh, you're kidding. Just kidding.

That's how we say hello on the show. Every show he says... Concha tu madre, welcome to your mom's house. Yeah, okay. Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome in and vete la mierda y la puta que te parió. And welcome to another segment. Here, I'd like to welcome my mother, Charo, and my aunt, Blanca.

May I make a comment? Yeah. I didn't like the welcome. How come? Well, the introduction was, is your madre? Yeah. La que te parió. Yeah.

And a lot of more bad things. Why can't it be...? It's about creating a vibe. That's why we say that. And it has to be dirty. It doesn't have to be dirty. No. That's the point I'm trying to make.

Could it be nice, sweet Charo? Oh, yeah. You may do it again? Yes. Okay, we'll cut that one, okay? Yeah. All right. Hey, welcome back to another segment of your mom's house.

Hope her big stupid tits are there with you. Let's get into another segment with my mom and my aunt. Ready? Yeah. Welcome. That was so good. That was a great intro. You know what?

I'm so fascinated with the looks of your wife that I'm trying to know your introduction. You look gorgeous. You said you were a lesbian, is that...? I am a lesbian. You were mentioning that... I said I look like a lesbian. No, she doesn't look like a lesbian, but she sounds like one sometimes. Yeah.

I get between my voice and the short hair cut. I get lesbian vibes. Don't get ideas. Yeah. Wait, one time Charo went to a bar at the casino, and a woman made a pass to her. What? And she said, if you want to go to my room, and I can show you my breasts. And she started dressing in front of Charo.

That was okay. Where was this? At the casino. I lost it. You lost what? The hearing. Audio? Any?

It's gone. You have to plug it in and unplug it again. It's a little temperamental. Just plug it in and unplug her headband. Got it, got it, got it. Just play with this. I got it. Is it good?

You can hear again? I can hear it again. Okay. All right. That's my hole. That's your hole? That's where it spits. Yeah.

Do you hear that? That's where it spits. That's his hole. I saw that was his, I saw that was his goal, but it's his hole. It's his hole. It's his whole thing. His whole thing. He's got the whole world.

Don't be stingy. Don't be stingy. So, Blanca, you've never been on the show before. No. Is this your first podcast ever? Ever. I don't remember ever being in a postcard, so whatever. You don't remember being on a podcast?

He says in a postcard. A postcard ever? You've never been on a postcard before? She's a pain in the neck. Yeah. She's always making fun of me. Why is that? That doesn't make any sense, no.

Why would I make fun of her? I want to know that. Because I say stupid things. Like what? No, no, no. That I didn't like it. No. Dumb, maybe, but not stupid.

Oh, good. Has she said anything dumb in the last couple of days? Like any good ones? How about in the last five minutes? Okay. Give us recap. I sent a message to my daughter. Let's talk into the mic.

I sent a message. I called to send a gift card. A gift certificate for Maria. And I told her the name is Maria Segura. Because she knows more than me. And I hung up. She said, it's Maria. And I said, well, she goes under Maria Segura.

I don't think so. I have to call Maria, which was in the meeting. Call me back. I said, excuse me. And what name do you go? I said, Maria. Maria Segura. I said, thank you.

Hang up. I'm like, okay, I could have swear that was. But you have to go through this. Well, I have to explain. Because she's a teacher. This is the only thing I want to say. Because she's a teacher. It's the most annoying thing in the world.

That if you don't prove to Blanca that you are right, it can be three days with the same topic. That is true. But they tell you what? Every message, anything I ever sent to Maria, I send it under Maria. So why would I? I am the mother.

Don't you think I know what I'm doing with my daughter? You're right. I was joking. Would you like some of my tea? You keep moving your chair, by the way. I was joking. This is ginger tea. I'm okay.

I'm okay. Sorry. Go ahead. Wait, so people who don't know. You guys are sisters. Did we clarify that at the beginning? Yeah. Just look at us.

Just straightening you again. You have to look at us and you know where to sit. Now, this is the part about it. Now, she did have a good one last night. Which one? We got home. Christina had ordered chicken and waffles. Oh, yeah.

And I gave her a waffle. And she goes, oh, this is good. What is it? Delicious. And I go, chicken and waffles. She goes, this has chicken in it? Yeah. She showed it to me.

And she said, guess what? This is chicken and waffles. And we had chicken in it. Yeah. And she couldn't get over how delicious that chicken was. I didn't want to eat a piece of chicken because I thought this was so good, you know? Yeah. But it was delicious.

It was delicious. It made me sad that you throw away the leftovers when I couldn't save it and eat it today. Yeah. It made me sad, too. Do you guys? I can tell. We're not going to watch any hardcore porn. Let's see what we got for you.

We have a segment called Horrible or Hilarious. No, this is the funniest one. So you watch the clip and you just react. Tell me what you think. Okay. So what do we watch? I'm watching you. We have two screens right there.

You don't have to turn so dramatically. Okay. You guys are going to laugh. I missed. You missed it? Yeah, because I don't know who fell. Two guys jumping to the pool. No, it's not two guys.

It's definitely not two. Just watch the one screen, Blanca. Okay. Don't look up at yourself. Just the screen right here. This screen. Oh, this screen. Okay.

I also was looking. That's what I thought. Okay. Okay. Erase that thing. Okay. Here. Okay.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was horrendous. Oh, my gosh. That's a thing. Why? Oh. What really happened?

Oh! He broke the glass. Yeah. And his body is old. And you think it's funny? I did. You did that? They think it's funny.

Yeah, I did that. Yeah, they think it's funny. They think it's funny. Yeah, I did that. You broke that glass? Yeah. That's stupid. I know.

I was trying to dive. I was trying to dive straight through the thing into the pool. Straight through the window pool. And you didn't realize there was a glass there? Right. That's in our old house. Oh, my gosh. That is horrible.

Did that really happen? Yeah. That really happened. That was in the house. The last house. And that didn't. I gotta say something. It hurt.

Oh, I bet. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, I bet. It's amazing that you don't have any scratches. But that's not true. How much blood did you have? A good amount of blood. That's not Tommy. That's me.

That's him. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, do it again. I thought you were smarter than that. Okay. Oh! I bet you.

It's terrible. It's terrible. It's funny. But I'm gonna bet $500. That's not you. And if I am right, you pay me. Okay. You know what?

I realized now. You don't have that hair. That is just what Ray realized. Yeah. Everybody. Everybody heard it. I just make $500. What did you just say?

Keep going. That is a really, wait. No one even took you up on the bet. That's not how bets don't work. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Bets don't go, I bet this. And then it is a thing. Someone has to say, I'll take that bet.

Someone has to say, I'll take that bet. Did I say I'll take that bet? I did not hear that. Okay, play it. Play it. Play it. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no,

No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, And No, no, wait, wait, No, no. wait, wait, here's what I want. Here's what I want. Here's what I want. No, no, no. You're, you're going to pay me when you hear that it's not recorded.

That's the bet. You gotta play me. When you hear that it's not recorded, Listen to that. You gotta talk to the mic. Listen to the answer. Okay. I said, that's not you and if this, not you and I'm right you pay me $500.

Okay. And I say, okay, play it. I did not say okay. Oh my gosh. Man, there's a whole room of people. No, yeah, but they cheat to help you. No. Yes.

No. Play it like it was. Charo, I would never lie to you. Okay. I did not hear that. Okay. He's right. There was no contract made.

There was no deal. You gotta pay me now. I swear. Okay. You can swear all you want. But now when you hear that, Wait, wait, when you hear that I didn't say okay, Do you agree that you will pay me?

If he doesn't cheat, I don't have to prove to me that he doesn't cheat. Oh, he's playing words and she cut. You didn't realize he was playing with words. Well, who was playing with words? No, no, no. Let me tell you one thing, Tom. Who's playing with words? No, no.

How? No. She had no idea. And we didn't think that you were really betting. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Wait, I didn't bet. What are you talking? You're the one that said I bet. How am I playing with words? And your answer was okay. It was not. Guys, there's a whole room full of people who have watched the conversation. Yeah, but they helped me.

Why? Why would they help you? They would love to see me lose the bet. What are you talking about? Okay, then do it. Then do it. Put the okay in there. No.

Put the okay in there? Watch it again. You're asking me to lie? No, watch the okay again and please tape it. Wait, so I want to be clear about how you think bets work. You think of bets like, hey, I bet that if this dog runs across the street, it's a thousand, and if someone goes, okay, that's a bet? No, no.

That's what I didn't think it would be a bet. If you are smart and you are smart and you are my son, they have to be a part of me in there. Okay. So I number one, I don't like. Okay. Number two, when I make a bet. I am very careful with my bets.

And when I told you. Oh my God. But he never agreed to that. But nobody bet you. He has to agree to the bet for there to be a bet. Christina, you guys don't get it. I bet you $500. Yeah, but he didn't say a great bet is on.

I get a no. He says okay. He didn't agree to the bet. Oh my God. You have to agree to the bet for there to be a bet. So the word okay is not a bet. No, he just was like, okay, like it wasn't a consent. Okay, kill me.

What did you say? I don't think I said anything. I don't think he said okay. Did he say okay? Annie's, the sound, listen, any listens to us to make sure. Don't, don't, don't we hear. Hold on, here's a deciding factor. Annie, did, did my husband say okay?

I want to hear. No, definitely not. And this is the most hilarious gaslight I've ever heard of. Yeah. Hey, by the way, this is how I grew up. This is how I grew up with this nonsense. 24-7. All of a sudden the argument is did you say okay?

Yeah. He didn't go sent to the bet. He didn't go sent to the bet. No. No. No. No. Charles, Charles, all you did was observe.

You're turning again, you're away from the mic. Move. Okay. Turn your chair. Turn your chair, the other way. The other way. Jesus. This is a microphone.

Okay. Sorry. Okay. So, Charles, what happened was you just had a thought that you expressed out loud. Yeah. As in, as in. That's the rule. Hey, I bet that's not Tom.

I bet five. That's the rule. And then in your mind heard him go, yeah, that's a bet. That's not what happened, babe. You just went, hey, oh my God, I bet $500. That's not Tom. That's the rule. And then that's it.

You know what? Your sister's like, you know what? Yeah. They are true. I agree. That's the rule. I'm an impartial. I know.

Okay. I want a lawyer because. You know what? It's like talking to a crazy person. That's what everybody thinks. And you are the crazy person. No. No.

I know. Go around the room. The room is all in your side. Your sister just agreed. My sister wasn't here. I think you were excited. Just stop putting your hand on my face. She's deaf.

You're on the wife and that all. You were just excited, I think. Okay, so let's do it again. Can we move forward? Can we go on? Yes. Yes. Let's move forward.

Let's move forward. I think this is. $500 here. Okay. Move forward. Okay, Tomi, if you are this bad, you will bet your mother something else. By the way, just as a side note. Just as a side note, tell the audience what I did for you yesterday.

Oh, my gosh. What did he do for you yesterday? Jesus Christ, you were there, too. But they don't know which one of the things you did. Wait a minute. What did we do yesterday? Wait a minute. How did the day start?

We took a shopping. Before the shopping, what did Charo and Blanca get? At 10 a.m.? Wasn't that yesterday? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. You had a house call, Manny Petty, at the house. Yes.

I mean, that sounds like a great morning. It was. Set up by yours, Trillia, your amazing daughter-in-law. Yeah. Can I say it so you have some credit that I am giving you the credit? Okay. You guys are giving your own credit. You don't give me the chance.

Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. You're right. They sent an arrangement without me knowing that the lady was coming. Excuse me. Two ladies were coming. Yep.

One was doing the manicure. While the other one was doing the pedicure. And the third one, who works in your house, brought me coffee with cookies. So I'm standing like this, drinking like this is a real life. I didn't even throw the coffee and cookies. You were not in there. Oh. Then.

Then. Your son took you both. You don't give me the chance. I'm just setting it up. We took you. I took you both to the mall. Yes. And?

You give us cash to buy something for ourselves. Yeah. And you know what? Blanca spent $30. What? And save it. No. My whole money in my first buy, my money was going to be gone.

So I tried to maneuver to get more money from Tommy in a way that she would. Hold on. You maneuvered to get more money. How did you do that? Very easy. Can I talk? I said, Tomcito and the ladies were looking. Can I say the amount you gave me?

Sure. They gave me $300. Oh, my God. And it was 275 plus taxes. I said, Tommy, if I buy these two things, my money is gone. So buy it. I said, would you like to buy it? So I still have it.

How far are you going to go with this? I mean, it was like I was squeezing him for thousands. I was like, I gave you the perfect amount. Just spend that. I just gave this to you. But that's true. In all fairness, he's right. He gave you $300.

That was your allotment. That was your allowance? Yeah. So how you spend it is your business? Hold on. Hold on. So then he grabbed the phone and got out of the store and told me, let me know when you're done.

And so I bought a sweater that is from the time of the Queen of England in 1500. And it's like a page. Like a page. Like a page. What is the name? The guy who said it. Oh, yeah. I like that.

Those are fun. Yeah. It's very tight in here. It was great. I like that one. Yeah. Wait, but then, then I wasn't just done. I walked you to...

I have it. I'm going to know. Hold on. No, I am going to... I also gave you... Wait, I also gave your sister $300. You gave me $300? Which is, Marley, she didn't spend a penny.

No, I didn't. I spent $100. And that was for you. And that was for you. Good for you. You know, I divided for you. Good for you. Really?

He spent $35? No. And he says I still have money. Okay. So then he took me to Newman, Marcos. And he wanted me to look... He's convinced if I go to Chanel and those expensive places, I'm going to look younger. Of course you are.

It didn't work. You do. You look fantastic. Guess what? Everybody was busy. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Let's just jump ahead. This is the boring part. We jump ahead, they go, you should take all this shit. All like creams and foundations and moisturizers. I paid for it. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. A thousand dollars.

Oh, wow. A thousand dollars. I was like, I got it. And guess what I did? You don't tell them what I did. What? The $500 product. Oh, yeah.

This is what she wants credit for. They go, you should also get this. It's $500. She goes, don't. She goes, I just saved you $500. She's like, I want credit for that. Well, that's interesting. That's how much the bet was.

Yeah. We're full circle. This is perfect. Maybe we should just go back and get that product. Excuse me. He owns me the $500, so I can go back and get it. Do you see how crazy this is? She's taking that even.

I'm going to go and get it. I think we should give Blanca $500 for not asking for any money. I've been telling you stories in therapy for ten years. Blanca is not getting anything. Blanca took Tommy as a companion watching me buying and buying. I have my $500 credit. I'm going to go right after this and get the cream that I put it on hold because I just want a bet that he was jumping in that thing.

Okay. Let's go show you to the next one. Same screen. Okay. Same screen. Up here. That screen. Got it?

Got it. Okay. Here we go. How did you do that? Well, I set up a camera in my favorite restaurant. What? Yeah. And then you saw the...

A bull. Yeah, a bull. A bull. How did a bull get there? Yeah. He put treats past down, put treats on the ground, and then he came right in and he flipped that guy. No.

Treats. Yeah. He flipped my friend Yoshi. Tommy. Oh, my God. You cannot put treats. Shit. He took him.

He took him. He took him on the court. Okay. Did you borrow that from somebody that really happened, no? Yeah. Yeah. It did happen? Yeah.

It did happen? It did happen? Unbelievable. Yeah. This really happened. All this stuff really happened. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

But that was unbelievable. I can't even imagine that you are standing in a place and a bull gets up and you know where and knock you out. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. It is funny, right? I mean, you have a good laugh, but you're also like... Oh, my gosh.

It was close. I couldn't even laugh. I'm hilarious. It made you jump. My husband probably would be crying, laughing, and usually I suffered for the person. Yeah. You see it?

Oh, my gosh. Interesting one. Are you ready? We're watching the screen here. Okay. Is that the subway stop here? Somebody is going to fall in there. Oh, my...

No, that's... Oh! Do these things really happen? This is a real foot. Okay, the lady got killed. No, the train hit the brakes. And it stopped because you should have kept him. No, it stopped.

How did you get these things? Number one, when a person falls that close to the train for real, it's hard to stop. Yeah, of course. The guy was trying to get her hit by the train, you know. Oh, that was cruel. And the guy got to jail. He did.

He actually got it. It was in Brussels. In Brussels? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Mm-hmm. Those are cruel. Yeah, that one was not hilarious.

No, it's not funny at all. No. Hilarious, no. It's not even funny. Mm-hmm. But do you think Christina... Tom is getting... Yes.

She pushed her for a good reason, though, Tom. Yeah, probably. You think I'm getting ideas? I think you're getting ideas. What kind of ideas? Well, how to get rid of my mom. And then... I have the idea that some...

And then see how she reacts. And I'm going to her reaction. I know which one to use as a base. Talk to Christina, who'd really approve it. And I said, you know what? We were really good with her. We gave her all this stuff. She has all the cosmetics that she needs,

so even when we bury her, it looks nice. Let's get rid of him. And now we get you? Yeah. Oh, Blanca, you got to move your chair. It's every time. It's every two minutes. Okay.

I tell you what, I had a feeling it is that this guy was paid and waiting for her because he knew that she was... No way. No way. That's so authentic. There is no way you can... I think he was paid. I think he was paid by somebody to do that.

Blanca, haven't you ever been so mad at somebody you wanted to push them in front of a train? No. Ever? Never. Do you? Every day. You've never wanted to kill somebody ever?

Never. Not like who you're going to, but you've never been so upset you could kill this person? Never. How many times have you think about that, about your mother? Killing you? Yeah. When?

How many times, I said. Over what period of time? Since you have common sense. Since I've had common sense? Hard to count? Yeah. You just start after you get married. I mean, I don't know.

A few dozen. Not a lot. A few dozen. You're talking about over a lot of years. Well, I never had that feeling. Oh, I've always... I think about killing people... He's very violent inside.

He wants to kill the Starbucks barista when they get his drink order wrong and stuff. What? Yeah. You guys don't feel that way, though? I've wanted to kill lots of people. I don't do it, but you never felt rage. Like, oh, I want to kill them.

Never. What is it? Give me your glass, mom. I need ice. You need ice? Well, the only way I can get up after this. Okay. Yeah.

I still have it. Can we go to Neumann Marcos after this? Oh, sure. Yeah. What do you got your eye on? Well, I have two scenes in Neumann Marcos I didn't get, and I tell you one. Mm-hmm.

Here. Yeah. I need a white scene. That's a tough one. Christina. I start putting powder. So the wrinkles show more. Talking to the mic.

I put powder. Okay. And I really need a moist white scene. But trying to save money for Tommy. I said, no, that one. No doubt. Now I have my regrets. The 500 stays there.

I don't want that. Have you seen the way she saves money that makes Tommy save money? Yeah. Yeah. I was really considerate. The woman, Christina, she brought me the whole, it's true or not. Mm-hmm. She brought me everything.

I said, no, I don't need that. And last night I couldn't sleep thinking I don't need that. I know that I want to sleep. I said, I do need that. I know that. I know. So can we go after that? And get it?

Yeah. The only two little things. The serum? Yes. And what else? The white scene for my eye. These are two things we could have done yesterday. And also, I guess what?

Wait, you know what you can do? Shop online. No, no. No, no, no, no, no. Have it shipped to the house. No, no, no, no, no. So you don't have to go to the market. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. Also, this is where the division comes. And don't forget your mascara. No, mascara. Don't buy expensive mascara. That's the ultimate rip-off. Yeah. It's true.

Mascara is mascara. She's showing off. And she says, excuse me. I'm telling you the truth. Look at my very, very, very carry-on. Blackberry. Blackberry. Whatever.

Some very thing with the pom-pom-pom and the rubber band. And then I go to the room. Don't you dare to come in my closet, which I want. But when she's sitting in her makeup, all the stuff is from the doctor here and the fancy here. And here I am. You know where I buy my makeup? In Walgreens.

You know why? But you don't wear the makeup that we wear. I'm going to start being... You don't. I bought you fancy bras. I bought you... Well... Now you're wearing them.

You need to wear and use the things we buy you. You don't... What do you think I'm doing? Now you're tight those little bags. Okay. Okay, I want to make a public question. Go ahead. And you better dare to answer because this is going to be recorded.

Give me a DC, would you? Number one. Number one. Go ahead. You told me, you told me when I got in your house, I have an skirt that I've seen you like. Yeah, I do. And then...

I changed my mind. I changed my mind because I thought about it and it's like a... It's so expensive and designer. And you're like, it's just so cool. And she won't wear it. You won't wear it. And I know you. I'll give it to you and it's not beige or black.

It's very exciting and colorful. It's Vivian Westwood. You won't wear it. Can I at least see it? I never see it in a skirt. She won't wear it. Somebody shut up your mouth because nobody sees it. You wear boring clothes.

Yeah, but if you're not talking in my favor, don't talk. Let me ask you something. Cristina. You don't wear color and exciting. You wear beige and black. We were passed to earth tones. Yeah, like you don't dress fun. Why would I give you something fun and then you're not gonna wear it?

Because I don't have it. Because I don't have it? So you just want it and you're not gonna wear it? The opposite. If I have it, I wear it. Why didn't you wear that sweater she gave you today? I gave you one this morning. She didn't give it to me.

Yes, I did. But why wouldn't you? Who did that? Got that. I don't know. One of the guys in there, I think. No, it was one of you. I don't think so.

It wasn't me. I don't know why. Somebody did it. It was one of these two people. Knock it off, guys. You know what we should do? Let's do that with the black hair and the red lipstick. Like Cruella?

Yeah. And I come old sexy. Let's walk up. Let's watch this one, the next one, okay? Yeah. Are you okay? Are you okay? What is your big question?

Are you okay? Well, actually, it's not so stupid because he got up. Are you okay? Yeah. He's not okay. Oh, my God. Did they ask you the same question when you were playing your basketball? Oh, don't even bring that up.

Then I come and say, are you okay? Are you okay? That's the most stupid question, isn't it? Oh, shit. I don't know if it's stupid because at this point, he doesn't know how injured he is. How injured? Yeah. Yeah.

The only thing he can answer is, I don't know yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why do you look so gorgeous? Move your mic, Mom. I think your mom's in love with me lately. She always points out how pretty I am.

Yeah. She's lesbian. Are you turning lesbian? No, but I want to look like you. Do you remember your mom? Yeah, and older. You have to get Botox and filler. I feel like I...

Okay, I have to be... Botox, filler, and makeup. That's all it is. Okay, I'm not going to grab Botox and fillers. Get Botox and filler. Oh, we want to get your boobs done and your teeth white. We discussed this. And button plants.

Okay, since that's going to take... You need veneers. So you can... Why don't you do veneers? ¿Qué es eso? Where they take your... They saw your teeth down. They put white, like, nice teeth and clean...

Why don't you... I have another idea. Big ones. No. Big ones. I gave you a solution that I found out. You get two space and you brush your teeth and you list the two spaces there and you go, it's all white.

I can't even imagine that. You got a picture like that. She can't veneers. Look, I can't even imagine that. It's mine. And you need lip injections, like filler. Oh, my God. You're just very...

Would you like to do... Would you do plastic surgery now? No. No? Not at my age. You'll not... I'm 80. Okay.

So you'll not... Perfect time. For what? You're out there. Just go do a whole makeover. Why not? For fun. So my husband comes home and I said, I'm going to bed with somebody else.

Yeah, he'd probably love that at this point. Oh, you think? It's been 50 years. He might get him excited. That's what I'm saying. He might. I'm a threesome. There you go.

Now you're talking. The husband goes with a woman who just has 50 surgeries. Yeah. And he sits there to see if something happens to him who is 82. There you go. That's very exciting. I love the idea. It's...

Nothing happened. What happened? You don't know. If nothing happens? If nothing happens, at least something happens to you. Yeah, it would have to happen to me. It would be frustrating. But you know what?

Life is not sex, huh? No. No. It's a lot more than that. Yeah, true. Sex is just... It really... Well, I can tell that this too is only sex.

Well, but they are young kids. Yeah, we're young kids. That's the difference. Well, you are still young. Yeah, that's true. Another good 35, 40 years old. Really? Really?

Easy. Oh, crazy. What did you say? They have another 35, 40 years. He was... I hope so. 42. 42.

Yeah. 48. I'm 40. Well, her husband is 82 and it still is functioning. Yeah. How do you know? You told me. I didn't tell you anything about the spray.

You guys are still doing it? Yes. No. You know why? You know why they do it? Blanca still works. Blanca called him out of honey. I'm excited.

Wow. I'm used to it. I'm not working anymore. Can you come within 10 minutes? He said, take me 15 and she says, I wait. And she go and find one of those books. I'm excited. She's just waiting like that.

I love it. That was 40 years ago. Good for you. No, 40 years ago I wasn't with her in the cruiser. Good for you. Show me that you like me. That was a long, long, long time ago. No, good for you.

You should. I would hope that you're still doing it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is Blanca getting ready of him doing it. I'm not sure if it's excitement or pain, but it's only. So how do you keep it spicy like into your 70s and 80s? Yeah, they know us.

With children, what? Yeah. We just watch movies. That's it. They watch movie. Porno movies? No, romantic movies. Oh, like what?

Hallmark movies. Hallmark. No, no, no. Wait a minute. If we're going to talk reality, talk truth. Do you never watch pornographic movies with your husband? No. Excuse me.

Excuse me. How long ago? All right. Let's try six months. No. What? They catch my catch. Okay.

You wish. They went from everything that works to don't stop until OK. This was romantic. So he goes to sleep, pass out in the chair because he works all day. He goes and clean his makeup, try to do this to see if it works. Check at her boobs to see if they are sexy. She is still asleep naked. Good for you.

No, I went to top. I hope I can. I love to. I went to top. I sleep with my pajamas and the worst three tops. My poor husband. How do you know I sleep naked? What was that?

How do you know that she sleeps naked? Because she told me. No, I did tell you I don't wear pants. That's all. Yeah. That there were bones and he sleep naked. So what is that? And they sleep hugging each other and he's behind.

That's a dream. That's all I've wanted. It is. No, he said, Blanca, you wake me up. Your leg was over me. He wakes me up to move out. I wish Tommy would snuggle with me. How do I get Tom to snuggle with me?

Well, I don't deserve it. I just snored and he put my leg over me. No. Actually, it's a dream marriage, actually. Because I adore my husband and I don't want to cry here. But the one thing that we did is we never hug each other. He was always suffocated. Yeah.

That's so annoying. He's so hot all the time. He's like, I don't like it. I don't like it. Oh, my gosh. Then they are down. Push. Yeah.

That was so romantic. But it's so true. Because even last night he was laying on the bed. We were watching a nice movie and I just went to just touch him. Yeah, that's enough honey. And he was so hot. I know. He's burning.

And I was like, you know what? Maybe there's some validity to this. But then, yeah, I always want to hug him, snuggle. No, I'm hot. No. I remember that when we were just married that he will hug me. Now he gets hot. Yeah.

50 years later. Almost 50. Yeah, but okay. He gets hot now. I never heard him. I never heard him. His hot coat fur. I'll write this one.

I don't want to touch you anymore. They don't want to hear sex anymore. Oh, boy. That would have happened to me if I would be there. You know what? You guys, Christina, is this supposed to be funny? Yeah. He broke his legs.

Oh, no kidding. It's the funniest segment we have. What is funny about this? This is what I want to know. What's not funny? You can hear him scream. Listen to how he screams after he goes down. And then that's the best part.

Okay, hold on. So for you, it's hilarious to see people suffer. Well, hear him scream. Here, listen. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I got it. Because now it's an emergency.

No kidding. Wow. I really don't get this part of the show. People falling in the train. The train might be killing you. The guys in pieces, the tree falls in top of you. And you say, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah.

All I know is I'm going to need my markers after this. Back to Neiman. They are all accidents. No. You can't pull. Can you pull the audio of the bat thing just yet or no? Not till we're done recording? No, not while we're actively recording.

Okay. All right. I cannot wait for that. Ooh. That poor guy. Yeah, he's all right. He's fine. He's fine.

How do you know? We talk to him. Yeah, yes. You both practice to say the same thing. We said it at the same time because that's the truth, right babe? It's very much true. How can we make that up? You talk to the guy.

Making him up or he's waiting for the... No, we make sure that they're all okay before we do the segment. We talk to him. We always check in. You all right? We make sure. So nobody died under the train. No.

The train. The train. We already told you. The emergency brake went on. The train didn't hit her. Blanca is still back in the snow. That's all. Many Alzheimer's.

She's still back in the train. We're in the snow. Mm-hmm. Ooh. So nobody died in the train. And we're looking at the guy. Yeah, I know. Because my mind was shocked about that one.

Yeah. And this one doesn't affect you? Yes, it does. And I was wondering why one little man is going to carry him out. You think that this one guy was going to carry him out of there? No, no. But when it happened to me when I was skiing, very poorly skiing and very starting, I remember that the guy...

Or let her tell you her story. No. Tell me. Finally the guy realized that I couldn't stand up. So he said, I'll just carry out you. So he just carried me down. I'm a very good looking guy. And all the girls were, how did you get that?

I said, everybody, goodbye. I was single. Yeah, at that time, you know. I have to tell you... Mike. I have to tell you Blanca's conversation in the limousine that you said I'm with a guy that we already know. Yeah.

Out of the blue and with no need, she started telling him, you know, I went to church on Sunday one time and this guy tried to kiss me on the lips during the peace. He said, peace, peace with you. And I saw the guy wanted to kiss me. And I really... He did! Tried to kiss. I had to move my mouth.

The poor guy is driving like, what is going on with this woman? And so... And so when I left church and I was listening, I swear, this has nothing to do with driving here, no? Yeah. And then we left and the guy says, would you like to have a coffee with me? So I told him, I am married. And the guy couldn't get less.

So Blanca came and told Dave. Dave was really excited that somebody else wanted her. Oh my God. He says, he had a crush on you. So they went back to church. The guy still goes to the same church at the same time. Guess what? What?

And guess what she told your driver, Tommy? You're not looking at me. I'm listening. I'm listening. Yeah, but that's pretty rude. I'm looking at you. Okay. He says to the guy, to the...

I hope that that guy is not listening to this. No. Then she says to the guy, or to Dave, I can't remember who that she said to. Right. Yeah. Where am I? And then what? Who says to what?

Is that the end of the story? No. It hasn't end. She says to the guy in the car, you know, he's not good looking because if he's at least he was good looking, you know, I will reconsider it because he wanted to have a coffee with me. But instead I've got to church every Sunday with Dave. I explain him.

She gets so excited that this guy wanted to have a coffee with me. And Dave keeps looking at him. She saw it. She makes out the stories. And Dave goes, Dave goes, there is your admirer. And guess what? He says, now she has a girlfriend. And the poor guy is driving us here.

Yeah. Who says, why in the world will I care for this story? Yeah. I think everybody listening right now just said the same thing. That's shadow. Why did you tell that story? Because of what you told him. And I had no idea what is the connection between...

All the facts for you guys. On average, people fart 14 times a day. And let out between two and six and a half cups of fart in a day. A single fart can range in volume from one teaspoon to one and a half cups of fart. And the first part of a day is usually the largest. Around 75% of a fart is made from bacteria in the large intestines. If food isn't digested by the time it reaches your colon, yeast and other bacteria go at it. And their little micro farts become your macro fart.

Cool. That's what happened to shadow. I had a fart. Before I came, I gave her a blanket. She got me and sprayed this big. And she said, here, put this in your purse. And I said, for what? In case you have a fart.

And I said, I'm going to open the purse and get it and spray this big. That's called... No. Because she can put it in her purse and spray it there. And it will stop the smell. No. Otherwise, it kills you. I said, well, when you bring it, spray it.

The thing is, you and we all have... I didn't bring it, but it was bad. So I have an Arca cell cell. And a pill for the... I don't know what... I have an aluminum... Aluminum? No.

The pink pill. A pepto? Gas plus. Gas plus. Gas plus. They have pepto plus. You're right. I have two Arca cell cells.

So I'm like, a new person. So far, so far. Whatever it comes, it's on this side. I am new. Here, check this out. I want to show you this. I'm a new person. I'm a new person. Here, check this out. I want to show you this.

This is Herkster's hair beauty. So on. The barber shop in tattoo way. The masseuse screw tattoo parlors. I kind of understand that. Because the little ladies put a little pink on her dink. Oh, what goes on the ink? It's a rink, not a dink.

And I can feel what her tattoos think. She's doing a haircut. As long as they're wearing a rink, and they're definitely off rinks. She had drunk? No, he's cutting his hair. With five. Yeah.

What'd you think? When you feather in it, brother, you gotta get a good drip on it. See, you gotta feather that shit. You gotta get it going, buddy. He's like, you know what I mean? You just save a lot of money. Gotta get her hot, too.

Yeah. Yeah. You ever done that where you just, you know, you can, you ever take a lighter in your hair and then you light it up? This guy does everything on his own to save money. First,

I know somebody who got impatient. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Try to get all the dog food off it. Oh my god. This is probably going to hurt just a little bit. It's gonna hurt a little bit,

so bear with me. What's nice about this knife here is the tip's been broke off, so we're going to bear with me. Oh my god. No, but see,

the tooth, you'd have to pay hundreds of dollars to extract at the dentist office. Oh. Oh. He's got the, but he went to dental school.

We're parked illegally, quit. Quit, quit, quit. And the only thing he's doing wrong is that he's parked illegally. Hi. People watch this. He's either a drug, so he's a drug.

It's amazing what you can do. I hear the click. I did, but I don't see any blood. Oh, keep watching. Here he is. Oh. He's a masochist. No, no, he's frugal.

He's frugal, yeah, he saves so much money. He doesn't like to spend any money. Oh, Blanca. Oh god, I think I got it. You got it. Look, look, you're not even seeing. Look at that bad tooth, folks. Oh my gosh.

Look at that fucking thing. That's the way you do it at Falcon Car Wash. Man, he's such an entrepreneur this guy, amazing. That's not amazing. This guy is unbelievable. Okay, why don't you guys do that? We've been trying to get in touch with him for a while.

No, you don't need to get in touch, Cristina, why don't you just pull your teeth? I would, I don't have any that need pulling, but if you do, I will do it. Well, but I tell you one thing, she saws and cut her hair in the back, and it looked horrible, but she almost cut it.

Does my hair look nice? It looks amazing. Bull. Bull you. Bull shit. Bull me. I cut my hair. I never, one thing you can not get out of me is a lie.

So far, I'm going to Neumann Marcos and get my white cream here. And that's not a lie. You mentioned, hold on, I have a question, when you came over, No, public, you are taking me, no? To Neumann Marcos to get my white cream.

Am I buying the cream? Am I buying it? But I didn't lose the bet. It's not a bet, it's an offer. What's the offer? That was yesterday that the woman took everything out. But you said I saved you $500 by not getting it. That one is safe.

That one was an extra one. This is color. You alright? I would be alright. Here. It gets black. Oh, you don't have that. Christina.

I have that problem. No, no. You have 50,000 people who fix your beauty. End of the mic. I do it myself. It sounds dirty. You are going to take me to Neumann Marcos and it's very inexpensive.

I don't want that $500 thing. Okay. Okay, we should just do a couple of things here and then wrap up. Okay. Did you get to see the ocean? When? She wanted to see the ocean.

Oh yeah, you wanted to see the ocean. You see the ocean here? You can see it from the roof. Yeah, you didn't go up to the roof. You haven't been up to the roof yet. You didn't take me there. Okay, we can go up there and see the ocean. Are you kidding me?

No, you can see the gulf. Is that right? You have a beach. Great in Austin and here we are right on the coast. You can see the gulf. You have an ocean here. What distance is from here? A few miles.

Is that right? That's amazing. Why didn't you take us there? We'll take you tomorrow. Today we'll go to New York. Tomorrow we'll go to the ocean. I need my wife's help. I have to explain you.

I'm going to look decent. She made me put three different things. Talking to the mic. Three different types of stuff. It went from dark to black. She said, put something else. I got white makeup. She said, that's too white.

The wrinkles became like this. Let's just check out these talks real quick. Tell her what the talks are. This is Christina's segment. This is an app that I go on a lot and I curate the best of TikTok. These are interesting people. After we play a video,

you just react. Tell us what you think. Tell me what you think of these people. They're so fun. Yes, of course. Go ahead. A little bit. A little bit of styrofoam.

A little bit of power. I can put glasses. Super. Somebody in the back. So this is... Hold it. I can hear. They figured out TikTok.

When we saw them, they didn't know what TikTok was. They thought it was just taking a still photo. This is their second TikTok. They figured out that you can talk and make a video. Can you please start by telling me what is TikTok? It's an app where people post

short videos of themselves, either singing or dancing. This wasn't in the bathroom. I can do myself a TikTok. I can do one of you right now. It's super or they're fun. Okay. I'm going to...

I love it. Oh, my gosh. My life. I love it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I can't hear anything. I can't hear anything.

Look, he's almost there. I can't hear anything. Can you hear me? He doesn't let me know. Did you hear that? You can't hear in your headphones anymore? Now I can hear it. I think the tiger was just kissing him and hugging him.

It was actually tender. But he wanted him to get out. It was hurting him. That's right. I think he was kind of hurt by it. Yeah. Some full grown tigers don't know their own strengths. There were two.

There's one. There's one man and one tiger. Okay, but he says the other one. Well, I said that he was very nice. He says he was very tender. You agree with both? I said that he was thinking that he was tender. But he was hurting him.

Yes. And that the poor man was telling him... He was. They're staying with us. Okay. And let's learn a little something from this TikTok. I'm so glad somebody asked this question about paper types

and particularly so-called Bible paper, which is a term that pretty much makes me want to vomit. Okay, paper used to be rag paper. It was made with most often a cotton or potentially hemp blend and it could be really crispy.

Or it could actually be quite supple and flimsy. And if you look at it, you can see the texture within that paper that declares it as rag paper. It actually feels like a dollar bill, basically. And it was strikingly lightweight.

Antiquarian books are actually shockingly lightweight compared to their modern counterparts. A modern book this size would be much heavier. And that's largely because of the paper. Go, go, go. So modern books are generally printed on wood pulp paper,

which is much heavier. And so just here's a modern example of literature. He's just teaching you about different types of paper. Okay, I can give this. I mean, okay. I guess you don't want to be educated. One is for the toilet paper, one is to read.

Wow. Okay. That really doesn't tell you anything. You know about the different types of paper, Blanca? Did you know? Yeah. It's much thinner. Right.

The older ones were thicker. No, thinner. No, thinner. No, he just explained it. Oh, that's right. That was one of the original ones. The original was thinner. The original ones were much lighter.

They had a cotton or hemp blend. He literally just said it. I bet you $500. No, my cream. That's the skin of the animals and didn't they use... Let's check out the next one. Geez. A tiger in the house.

Wow. A liger. No, liger. A lion in... No, liger. What's a liger? It's a lion and a tiger together. Oh, my gosh.

I didn't know that they did that. That's gorgeous. Yeah. If you walk in and you see that, you might be like, oh. If the person is that relaxed, I wouldn't be scared. Yeah, that would help.

If you have a child with an animal and you have a baby who looks like a rat. What? You know, if you mix it to an animal with another different animal, what happens?

You have a different animal. Right, you have a liger. Liger. Do they really exist? You're looking at one. That's a liger. That's it. Tiger and a lion.

Mom, you guys speaking the mic even for her. She's so far drinking ice. What are you saying? What are you saying? She said it. What did I say? You said for them, even if they don't pay, they pay for it.

Well, I don't see the time to pay for it. No. Here we go. Look at this, you like this? She won't share. The squirrel. She won't share.

She won't share. She's going to bite you. He got the baby squirrel. How does he get in? Poor mother who is looking for her baby and that's kissing a big man. That's true. I didn't think about it.

Then he eats them. You know what, Tommy, you're so mean. I mean, you're so mean. Thank you, Capo Cristina. Thanks, Capo Cristina. You saw that was funny. People seem to think round beef is unsafety raw and they don't realize that no animal

is unsafety raw. It's unsafety raw. It's much less safety cooked. So what I got here is one of my favorite finger licking dishes. It's just so fun to eat. Some ground beef that I got from the butcher,

it's 100% halal. I put some bone marrow on top, like three pieces, three big bones and some drizzle of honey. Boy, how about the chow down? It's raw. Raw ground beef, so good. Beef with some honey.

And some bone marrow. But it's raw, raw meat. Raw meat, this thing. You can speak your little drips of honey just like here and there. Just adds a little pizzazz to the dish that I like. Some people can't handle raw ground beef.

Oh my gosh, I can't. Will. What happened to her? She didn't know what tar tar means in that series. Tartar is that is raw meat. And she said, I want, you know what it's called,

beef tartar. I want to pretend to be French in France. And she ordered that. And she almost saw me at the table. No, no, no, I am with no dinner. When the guys show up and put me a piece of ground meat, uncooked, and I keep looking and say, okay, thank you.

And I left. That was dinner. Alright, check this out, okay? Oh. Oh. That's his head. Does he scare her? Is he trying to pull?

You're talking through it, so it's kind of, you know, what's the point, right? You have to pay attention. I think it's so disgusting. Oh. This is what he does. These are his videos.

He only does this. What? Are you throwing stones here? No, I'm throwing through. I don't know. I think somebody in the room is... Okay, if I throw a man lane there, you can see his neck and he goes...

Well, somebody's a master farder in this room. Am I not? Am I wrong? We have a fart mistress here. Two. Two of them. Two of the greatest farders of all time. Oh, that was a fart? No cycle going around.

You didn't put together that was a fart? I didn't either. No. Oh, my gosh. That sounds like charos. That I recognized. That was charos. There you go.

You have balls. I mean, you don't because you're a woman, but you act like you have balls. So today, we're about to cook some hog toenails. Now, don't knock until you try them, but they is in the worm family. I will give you that. So the first thing you're going to want to do

is put them in the refrigerator so that they'll slow down and stop moving as much. That's so sad. Okay, see, now they're nice and slow down. That's so mean. Barely moving. That's pepper. You're very generous with the seasonings.

This is a Texas treat. We're going to get you some tonight. Next, get a pan on medium heat. Add some olive oil. Good amount. Put the lid on and let them cook for about 15 minutes on medium. You got to flip them halfway.

Okay, now they're all done. It's got a really creamy texture and it tastes sort of like a mixture of lobster and maybe like caviar or something that's really, really salty. But pretty tasty. Okay.

Okay. We're going to try that this weekend. Maybe the last meal you guys have. Not a chance with me. Well, they sell these down at the central market. They're worms. Worms? But they're native to Texas.

So I was going to make this for you. We can actually go to the ocean and go to the tackle shop there. Mom, she can hear you less. Less without this. She gets this things that you think that, oh, oh,

and she's putting a life in the refrigerator. Here we go. Hi, I got a couple things to talk about you real quick tonight. To talk with you. You know, I think I've told you this before, but a little helpful hint. If you get crabs, okay,

don't panic. Don't call you doctor in the middle of the night. I had to do that years ago. I just said, and it works. You have bug spray in your cabinet. Cams, crabs. Spray down that little puppy, take care of it, take your shower, it's gone.

So just a little helpful hint. She's talking about crabs, not cramps. Crabs. The little tiny ones on your pubic area. Crabs. Crabs, it's a sexually transmitted infection. It's a sexually transmitted infection.

It's innocent. So she's saying though that if you do get those, you don't have to call your doctor. You can just get some bug spray and spray yourself. Oh my gosh. She knows. Tiktok, it's all there. That's good doctor Tolkien.

She says that's good doctor Tolkien. Right, so you can do it, it's safe. Let's keep watching. Some time and some money on a prescription or whatever. You know, another thing. Tiktok's good for venting. Something I wanted to talk about real quick. Satan, okay, missionary.

It's fine. The best, easiest. Whatever you like. But he's on top of me, like dead weight. I don't know. Normally they pull themselves up on their legs and their arms. This was dead weight.

I know part of it's my age. Probably part of it's my weight. You don't have to tell me. I know. But I don't remember that ever happening before. He wasn't a fat guy. I don't know if it was him or was it me?

Has that happened to you? I'm just curious about that. One more thing too, guys. Something I wanted to tell you. If you're dating, especially if you're older, like I am in dating, sometimes a little helpful hint. I think, whining and dining,

it's a form of foreplay. That's how women see it. It's a form of foreplay. You don't have to spend a lot of money. But especially if you like her and you think she's liking you. Even a cup of coffee. Ice tea.

You're going out. Do that. It leads up to, if you like each other, it leads up to it. Because the thing, your place or mine. What's your address? Right away, don't do that.

Especially with older women. You're mature women. Well, he's a liberated woman. So she recommended just what? Have coffee and tea. I know that he should whine you and dine you a little bit. Take you out a little bit. Not just say what's your address.

If that ever crossed my mind, which he doesn't, coffee and tea sounds good. Let's meet for a cup of coffee in the morning. I remember the guys when I was single, he said, would you like to go for a cup of coffee? And I said, no, thank you.

Because if he likes me, he wouldn't be asking for a cup of coffee. What would he ask for? He would say, I would like to go out with you. Would you like to go to a movies maybe and dinner? So movies but not coffee. That's true. Well, I agree with Blanca because

dinner and drinks is not as casual as a coffee. Coffee is kind of disrespect. They don't want to spend a penny on you. Let me be a woman. Let me dress up nice. Where perfume, take me out to dinner. Here's the truth.

When I was out there, I tell bitches all the time, I'd be like, hey, bitch, you want to get a cup of coffee? I don't believe you. But when he said that to me. Did he say that to you? Yeah, and I said, no,

you take me to a bar and then we can drink beer. I'm a lady. But I had a lot of hoes in coffee shops. A lot. You say, hey, bitch, you want to have a coffee? If I saw a bitch I liked on the street,

I'd be like, hey, pretty little bitch, and then she'd turn around and be like, talking to me, and I'd be like, why don't you take your little bitch ass to get some coffee? It always worked, by the way. Not on her. Well, we've talked about it on this show.

And bad girls. Those are the girls that were standing in corners. You see, he didn't marry those girls. That's right. Well, if you get bitches that stand in the corners and just say, hey, bitch, you want a coffee, the bitch is going to say yes. You know why?

Because that bitch is cold and tired. That's a cold ass, tired bitch. Well, you know, the bitch is used to just go to the bed, charge her money, and I said, this is getting me coffee. That's true. Poor bitch. Poor little bitch.

Cold, tired ass bitch. Hey, bitch. Do you have an earring? Diamond? What did you say? She asked if I have a diamond earring, and I said yes. Once I started, you know, selling tickets,

I was like, I need some diamond earrings. You see, I asked her this morning, she's so full of shit. I said, can I have a watch? I can. She says, I only have Rolexes. I said, you don't have a normal watch? No.

I have like 12 Rolexes, six Martins, the Martinique, the Vogue. And I said, you have here like an iPhone? I watch it. I never own and I watch it. No, officially, officially. Can you please get me a normal I watch the latest?

How did we get to iPhone? I'm asking. First of all, we've got Neiman Marcus already coming up. And in addition to the Neiman trip, she wants an Apple watch. And I watch. But don't you have an I watch?

It's an old one. This is the number four, we're into the seven. So I can pass to Blanca the four and I keep the seven. Everyone's here to see how this works. Can we please say, Christina? Don't look at me. It's your son, negotiate with him.

Can I please get the I watch? Yeah, sure, go get it. Go get it. No, you go get it. Can you take me after the show? Can you please say yes? Hold on. It's your favorite tattoo on your body.

No. So my dick is sleeved out. So that's probably my favorite tattoo. I have three lightning bolts underneath. I have a curvy dagger on the side. I have a curvy arrow on this side. A full Wi-Fi signal. Is that a normal guy?

And then a centipede all the way to the head. I like that he has your finger as an example. He spent all his money from laundry and carving all that on. From laundry? He doesn't need to have watch clothes. Oh, yeah. He's saving you that.

That's his real face. Oh my God. I can't wait because I'm getting my first tattoo in two weeks. I'm getting sleeved. I'm getting sleeved here because of my scars. So I'm going to do a whole thing that goes down this arm. So you don't see the scars. Instead of doing that and spending that money,

they sell these leaves that you can put it and it looks like that too. Oh, really? Yeah, because the lady that I work with, I didn't realize she only had one arm. Because in an accident, she lost that. She only had one arm. She lost her arm?

She lost her arm. So she had a false arm, but she had it at two feet. On the false arm? Yeah. Did you know she had a false arm? No, when I met her, I didn't know that. Right. She was with me in the school and somebody said

about people who are different or have some experience. You know, if they wanted to talk about it. So somebody invited her and everybody was shocked. Nobody realized that it was false. Wow. So you're going to have that?

I'm going to try to do something cool like that. Yeah. But just by the sleep. I don't know. I think I'm going to do the real thing. You know? Look, he's a grown man. He's been through a lot. Is he a grown man?

Am I not a grown man? If he wants to get tattoos, I can't stop him at this point. We've been together for, you know, 17 years. But am I not a grown man? Well, what I said is you act like a little boy sometimes, right? How? How am I acting like one?

Well, when you talk with your mom. Mom! What? I don't understand. What? This conversation erased it. It didn't make any sense. When you talk to your mom.

I don't understand. You're right. You're absolutely right. Yeah. This conversation didn't happen. Yeah. Retarded. Retarded. Okay.

How retarded? I don't know. At this point, I can't talk about it. This is Charo, the real mom at your mom's house. Keep back, hold your nuts, and listen to this real ass new shit. What? I didn't say that.

I didn't say that. These Tina's big tits are back on tour. What? Go see a show, man. I'm so offended. Hey. Your people kill Christ, and you need to pay the price.

Ask for forgiveness. Or you meet your maker now. Wow. Strong words. Bird is fat and racist. What? I have no idea what you're saying. I don't understand what she's saying.

We have to get going. This was an absolute treat. Thank you guys for being here. To have my mom and my aunt Blanca sitting in our studio. Actually, I have to be honest. The last thing that was in my mind. Yeah. And I refuse to cry.

Yeah. I can't. Because I came here really soon. I know. I lost something that is irreplaceable. But you guys manage. From the time I got in the plane. To see the joy in life.

And I see his presence in everything. I see that he's happy that I'm doing this. But he's happy. I know. That's why I'm drinking this stupid wine. Well, this is such a nice moment. I don't think we should go shopping anymore.

Oh, no. The first thing he told me. The first thing he told me is, Mamita, be sure that he takes you. That is that because he will do it for me. So I want to hear. Right now,

you're getting your white thing here. That's all I want. Okay, we'll go get the white thing here. It was fun. You got the best team, Tommy. You were great. And you know what, Charo? I think everybody listening.

We're all dealing with missing top dog. And it's not just you. I think it's all of us. People listening who loved him for so many years. You know, and... You don't get used to missing. No, I know. It was...

It is. You know what she is? I actually talked to him all the time. Even when I was coming here. I was having a hard time coming here. I was like, I'm going to go. And then you see, I heard him telling me,

it's a Cristina for best boys. I just go ahead and do it. I hear his voice. And I try to please him. I'm going to turn around. I can't touch it. You're doing great, mom. You're doing great. Well, you're doing it, and I...

I'm glad you're dead. Now I'm drunk. Yeah, and most importantly, we need to do some line reads. Could you fucking pull it together for a second? I've got to get it hard until I'm ready to talk. Pull it to bed. What in the world? I'm crying here.

I'm fucking sweating. Sweating like a black man. Okay, let me do it first. The white cream is increasing. Okay. It was a real treat. Stay seated. Thank you guys for watching and listening.

We will be back in a week. We love you. Thank you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. I like women. I like women. Hey, what's up? I got a message for everybody,

especially all the guys again. They don't listen to me. I like women. Just a part. Bro, you guys are not going to give me the part when putting all these dog emojis in my comments, bro. I'm not a dog. I'm not a kid, bro.

I'm not none of that, bro. Bro, just part. Just part. Bro, I'm a human. I have a heart and a soul. I know dogs do too, but, bro, I'm a human. Nobody watch me on the leash.

I'm a human, bro. I got two legs. Daddy, down the corner. Daddy too. I like women. Daddy, down the corner. Daddy too. I like women.

Daddy, down the corner. Daddy too. I like women. I like women. Please, stop trying to make me look bad on this platform. You guys, stop commenting daddy under my posts, you guys. Please, that's all I ask for you guys' respect.

But, bro, you guys go crazy, bro. I had almost 400 comments last night. All of you guys calling me daddy, bro. Come on, bro. Please, please. Daddy, down the corner. Daddy too. I like women.

Hey, what's up, tiktok? It's Lalo Kronberg here. Daddy, down the corner. Daddy too. I like women. Daddy, down the corner. Daddy too. Daddy too.

I like women. Daddy, down the corner. Daddy too. Daddy too. I like women. Somebody really needs to like... Hello? Somebody needs to badminton. Look at this.

So they can know it's not a joke. Bro, stop putting these up on my screen. I'm telling you guys, bro. I'm not talking to one of you, bro. I'm talking to all of you guys in my comment section. Look, he keeps putting these little flying things in my screen. What is wrong with you? Thank you for the follow-up. I appreciate that.

I got to deal with these other people here. I don't know how to act.