Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 670 - Louis C.K. - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: August 24, 2022

Did you miss the biggest LIVE event of the year?! Don't worry you can still watch YMH LIVE 8 until August 28th by going to https://livestream.ymhstudios.comPhoenix, AZ! Tom will be filming his newest Netflix special from the I'm Coming Everywhere World Tour on November 4th at 9:30pm at the Celebrity Theatre! Tickets go on sale Wednesday at 10am PT! Use code TOMMY at https://tomsegura.com/tour It's a very special episode of YMH and Tom Segura reveal to Christina P he is getting VERY into Blackjack. Then, we welcome legendary comedian and filmmaker Louis CK! We talk about the most recent movie he made "Fourth of July" that is available right now on https://LouisCK.com.Tom and Christina talk about being fans of Louis's early career, his television show Louie and how he was able to get it back from FX and put it up on his site. Louis talks about working with Pamela Adlon, growing up with his family, and dealing with Eastern European countries. They get into the art form of comedy, cancel culture and Louis's experience with going through it. Louis discusses his hour leaking after his long break and relationships. We then run Louis through some of the classic clips: garage worker, Robert Paul Champagne, Good Morning Julia, and Four Strokes Guy.   https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

Did you miss it? It's the biggest, baddest YMH live ever. You can still watch it through August 28th. Get your ticket right now. Go to livestream.ymhstudios.com. Call your friends over. Call over your family. Get your grandma there. Watch this crazy, fun, hilarious show. You will not regret it. You might. Phoenix. I'm very excited to announce I'm shooting my next Netflix special, Friday, November 4th, at the Celebrity Theater.

The tickets go on sale this Wednesday at 10 a.m. Pacific Time. The pre-sale code word is Tommy, T-O-M-M-Y. Thank you so much, and I'll see you there. How do you get your series from FX? Yeah, it's kind of crazy. I don't think anybody's done that. No. Well, FX took my series off. I don't know why. The fuck?

It's so weird. It was really successful. And then they just made an arbitrary decision. That's weird. This episode is brought to you by Satva. We are huge, huge fans, and you know this, and the reason that we keep telling you about Satva is because we believe in it. Sleep is so important. You spend such a huge amount of your life asleep. Why wouldn't you invest in making it the best sleep possible?

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You go to satva, s-a-a-t-v-a dot com slash the shit. Get $200 off any mattress of your choice. Satva dot com slash the shit. Get yourself a great mattress. And we're back. Welcome to another episode of your Mom's House podcast. Very excited about today's episode. We got a couple of things to get into. One thing I didn't really get into with you is that I, turns out,

I'm a bit of a savant when it comes to playing blackjack. Is that right? Yeah. So now you're into gambling. Yeah. Very good. I worked out a deal. Oh, Nadab's super pumped. Look how happy he is today.

At the casinos that I was at this week, where I just had them forward the check to the table. Oh. So instead of getting paid, it becomes like my marker at the table. Cool. And I can just play with that. Do you just put it all on one chip, or do you like to split up your salary into $1,000 coins?

You know what I mean? That's a very good question. Yeah. Yeah, I had them break it down. Yeah. Into what currencies? Like what denominations? Kind of depends on the mood.

Yeah. And I've been researching. I was doing language learning stuff for a while, but now I'm doing blackjack strategy. Blackjack strategy. Yeah, so I've been watching videos, reading books, memorizing, you know, just different hands, what to play, what to do.

Yeah, it's very exciting. Does our accountant know about this one? I think it's none of his fucking business, if I'll be honest with you. If you're listening. Help. Sometimes I get, I found that I get a little tweaky when I'm not playing.

I go, I go, hit me. Hit me. Stay. Split. Split the same. Split the same. Do you have, so when you're at the table, do you do a gesture, or do you do

like, I know there's gestures right this... Yeah, everyone has that. You know, I do a pretty direct hit me, and... Just finger wag finger. Yeah. No, I'll even hit the table. Oh, wow.

Hit me. But I always give a very clear don't fucking give me another card. Don't touch. What do you pass on? How high will you go? How high will I go? Mm-hmm.

Where do you stay? What do you stay on? There's basic... I mean, I'm basic. I don't want to act like I'm an advanced player. Mm-hmm. But I think, you know, it always depends

on what the dealer's showing, right? Sure. So some basic strategy stuff is like dealers showing like a two, a three, a four, a five, a six, and you have something below that, you stay because you want to give the dealer the chance to bust, right?

Mm-hmm. So it's like kind of basic stuff. But, you know, then you're fucked a lot of times because it's almost like, God damn, every other hand the dealer is showing a face card or a 10 and you're like, you motherfucking cunt. Stop smiling at me, Lisa, you know?

Mm-hmm. How late are you staying up doing this one? Sixth morning, five, five, six in the morning. You have been going to bed later. I've noticed that you will, you won't text me until like 3 p.m.

the next day. And I'm like, is this guy still asleep on the bus? We're riding the fucking wave, all right? Where's Tom? Daddy's still sleeping. It's noon.

Yeah, it's a little weird when you have been sleeping in. Well, we're out there winning. I mean, winners fucking stay up late. Yeah. Okay. Good people hang out late. Gambling too, right?

Actually, it was fun because it became the, it became the thing that we did as a group. So we all went together. And, you know, no one plays, honestly real crazy. No one's like, hey, man, I finally get to my mortgages.

It's everybody plays with like their, you know, set them out. And it's just, it's just fun. It's a fun way to hang out and do something other than, you know, all right, we had dinner. Let's go to bed. Yeah.

Well, that's how it starts, right? And then you're losing. Yeah. You're like, oh yeah, I'm just going to play with stuff that I'm okay. I'm just playing for fun right now. So even if I lose this, it's, I'm investing in my fun.

And then it kind of gets away from you. What's the most you've gotten away, from you though? Yeah. How much has it gotten away from you? How much? How much?

Be honest. Look, I'm not going to lie. I've had a couple like 5k weekends that kind of got away from me. But I will say recently. That means 10k. I had the best 24 hours of gambling I've ever had like a week ago.

And was it on poker, sports, what kind of game? Slots. Slots. Online digital slots. Digital slots? I got Crossfados Barbados. And I had, I don't know, let's just

say 1k in the account. And I am out of my mind. Like I don't know, like I don't, like I'm not even really paying attention to what I'm doing. 30 minutes later, I'm up 15k. Wow. Here's the tricky part.

What? I don't know how to withdraw it from this website because it's not one of those classic dot coms. So there's no way to access your money? I think there is a way, but it's like I got to go from this island to that country to this country.

You got to do it. You got to get that money, dude. Believe me, I'd love to get that money. Get out of there. Where do you think that road ends? Somewhere. It ends under a bridge. That's what I'm going to stop thinking.

Like somewhere in Russia. That's not good. I love that. We were making, we were laughing because we got, you know, we would have, you get hot run, I mean it's gambling, right? Yeah. We would have runs where like table

wins and everyone's like winning well. And then just these hands that are ridiculous, right? Where like you have 19 and the dealer, you know, flips and she has seven. And then it's like 10, 13, 16, 21. And it would be like, you're like, right? So y'all all look at each other.

And then we were all remembering that scene in Casino. I think it's in Casino where Pesci's playing. And he's like, hit me, hit me. I think that's funny. You fucking fat fuck. He's like throwing cars at the guy's face. You piece of shit.

Hit me again. You fuck. And the guy's like, and the guy flips over and it's like another bad card. You see him. He's like, yeah, you fucking piece of shit. You think that's funny. You're fucking me over.

Fucking me over. We wanted to rip her ears off. That's what we were kept saying. We ripped the dealer's ears off. You could try me fat so. Yeah. You fucking try me. That's the best character ever.

You know, we were staying at a place this summer that had the painting of this dog goes this way. This dog goes that way. That's good fellas. This guy says, what do you want from me? Yeah. And it's just the greatest thing to remember. It's a great one.

Good memories. Yeah. Oh, hey, let's get this opening clip going. Oh, let's get it going. Oh, let's get it going. Here we go. Let's fucking party. What's the vibe tonight, dude?

We're fucking each other. That's what's the vibe. It's goddamn big ass fucking orgy. I'm fucking trees, bushes, goddamn mulch. No one's fucking surviving this. God damn it. Damn. I thought we were just dancing.

All right. That's grand. Don't bring anyone loving to this. No mother in the mother's name. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Tom Segura.

Christina Pajitzin. Christina Pajitzin. Welcome to your mom's house. These are going to an orgy. That's fucking cool. So rad. Yeah. You know, for the longest time, first of all, I love this clip.

I was like in the woods. I don't know if that's the best place to go for orgy. But when you think about it, maybe ideal. Yeah. I've been everywhere because I've been inside of gay clubs. And they're very musty and stinky and they smell like jizz. And I think this is probably the best possible way. It's just out of nature.

You can wipe your stuff on trees or bark. You can use dirt. It's probably nice. I'm going to make you cry. Yeah. Yeah. How great do you think it'd be to be a gay guy and be at that festival? Be the best.

It'd be the awesomeest time ever. Fucking 21. Over time. 21. 21. 21. Hit me. Hit me.

Hit me. Hit me. We've got to wrap this up because I've got to catch that flight. I'm going to Lake Charles this afternoon. Oh, OK. They had the golden nugget. They got me a table. OK.

Okey-dokey. But I'll be back. I'll be back in the morning. OK. Can we come with you? The children? I don't fucking think so. I'm going to be pretty busy.

Yeah, you can come in the dark. Yeah. Oh, boy. It's a work trip. Stay. Stay. OK. Oh, boy.

Yeah. New fun, huh? Yeah. Yeah. I got to get that fucking dopamine trip going again. I know. I know. Oh, I know.

Oh, I know. You know what? Maybe I could get you. What? My dad used to play blackjack on the toilet on a video game. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. They're fun.

They make beeping sounds. Yeah. And you feel like you win? Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. I know.

I know. You feel like you win stuff? Yeah. Would you, would that maybe scratch the itch? I don't think so, but it may be, you know, it'd be good. Everyone's got to practice. I don't mind practicing. Yeah.

Oh, boy. Yeah. You know, I knew a girl I worked with whose husband was online gambling and he lost $50,000. Yeah. And just as they were about to divorce, he won $50,000 and paid off his debts. That's pretty cool. And they were like, we're good now. And then he just went back to gambling.

Well, yeah. I mean, I'm still, also, I'm still like, I'm playing with like pennies right now. Right now. Yeah. Yeah. Totally start paying you. Pretty soon I'm going to work up the courage to start backing up a brink truck. Okay.

Yeah. Pennies aren't going to cut it very soon. Jesus fucking Christ. Give it to me. I got to talk to him. Hit me again, you fucking bitch. Yeah. How do you feel about separate bank accounts?

Yeah. Sure. How about I start collecting your paychecks? Get the fuck out of here. And then you get like a stipend. A stipend. Is that what that is? Nah.

Nah. And by the way, if I'm ever down like, I would tell you if I was down half a million on a weekend, I would tell you. Half a million is when you would tell me? Yeah. Jesus Christ, Tommy. And I'd be like, you know what? I'm not playing until next week.

I'm taking this whole week off. Thanks. Yeah. I got you. Okay. Gotcha. All right. All right.

Cool beans. Thanks. And then I'd be like, you leave this fucking piece of shit. Huh? He hit. How's he going to get a 20 on that? So fired up about gambling problems. That's going to be fun to listen to for now on gambling stories.

I'm like, that's really interesting, Tom. You'll be like, you'll tell your family and he had a soft 18. I don't know. I'm not sure what that means, but. All right. Well, look, we're very excited about today. Why don't we take a quick break? Sure.

And we'll be back very soon with a guest. Okay. We're back and we are joined by a very special guest. If you would like, if you have not yet seen, uh, there's a fantastic new movie out called fourth of July. You can see it. You can get it at Louis CK.com. It stars Joe List.

It has a great cast, great story. Highly encourage you to see the film. You can also see our guest on tour right now. He's touring all over the place and you can get his FX series, uh, Louis, which is also available at Louis CK or excuse me, Louis CK.com. Please welcome Louis CK everybody. Oh, goodness. Thank you for coming.

Thank you. Uh, we're very excited to have you. I'm excited to be here. I enjoy listening to you guys. Thank you, man. Um, congrats on the film. First of all, that's, uh, that's, uh, I remember you, um, a few years ago, even saying that like, you know, you're touring, uh, huge, you're making crazy money.

And then you go, I have this excess money. I put it into like something I want to do for fun. Yeah. And it's like, which I've actually tried to adopt myself to go like, take, take this money and, and, you know, of course, enjoy yourself and, and, and consume goods that poor people can't have because it's so much better to show them that you're better. But then do something. That's what makes them good.

Exactly. Hey, you can't have this. Yeah. No, even the guy who fixes it couldn't have it. That's the best. Fucking loser. Hey man. Life Patek Philippe.

Yeah. That's counter is awful. Fix that bezel and then, but then you get to do something. And I feel like, uh, the same thing kind of applied for a fourth of July. You just, you go and you do it. I'm making with my own money. I don't have to take notes and listen to some executive. Tell me how this is.

Yeah. Sorry. Also, it's not just like the taste of somebody else. It's also like the decisions of how to do it. Yeah. And, uh, the risks that you want to take in terms of casting and you don't have to, something by somebody who's worried about how much it costs. Yeah.

It's just a little stifling. Sure. Not even like those guys don't know shit. It's just, it's more fun to just, just do it your own, your own way. Did you know you could make this movie for a certain amount? Or did you go like, I just have to make this movie for a certain amount? So I, I had a number in mind. I could spend this much and I can't spend any more.

And I got, I told my producer this is, we just, it doesn't exist if you want more. I think we ended up spending twice as much. It's always like that. How it goes. It's just the way it goes. It's like a contract or anything else. And he's a great producer. He's great.

He still brought it in under what anybody else would have. Yeah. But also it comes to day to day. It's, I'm the reason it kept going over budget because he would, uh, you know, because I want the movie to look good. Sure. And also I want everybody to have a good time. So we shot it in Lake George during a pandemic.

And so everyone had to be, it was kind of crazy, uh, not worth going into, but like, I wanted a decent van to take everybody to the set. They had to do an hour and stuff like that. Right. Did you have to do, um, COVID protocol stuff on set? Yeah. The thing in the nose. That costs money too.

It does. That guy who does that cost money. Yeah. Um, he eats. He has to eat. He eats a lot. Yeah. And, uh, and yes.

And everything has to, we didn't have any sick people, so we didn't have that. That's usually what kills production. Yes. Uh, is, uh, somebody sick. We have to stop shooting. Yeah. You shut everything down. Yeah.

That's, we didn't have that because we're, we're isolated up in, up in the mountains. Yeah. Um, but also this, I wouldn't have wanted to pitch this movie to anybody right now. A lot of things being made are very, uh, people call it algorithmic. You know? Yeah. Yeah. It has to be about something or have somebody famous in it.

But this movie is just a movie about people and it's also crosses, you know, Joe plays kind of a nervous liberal and then his, his family is extremely blue collar. They're not necessarily. Extremely. Yeah. Extremely blue collar. Extremely outspoken. Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly. And it's not political. Right. But they're culturally outspoken. Yeah. And so the movie bleeds from one side to the other as, you know. Which is nice because it also feels like that is what real life is like.

Like every, all of us that have, you know, either are liberal or have liberal friends you know, have been around that person's family and their family's like that. Of course. Yeah. The family of origin sometimes will be like just the polar opposite. It's very rare that a family has the same, I mean, it's bizarre and actually unhealthy when a family's the same. Yeah.

The whole way down. All the way down. Like you shouldn't be your parents essentially. That would be so terrible. Well, like Shane Gillis does a very funny thing in New York. He's a very funny anomaly in standup, which is that he's a red state product. Yeah. And he, but he plays to Brooklyn kids in New York.

Yeah. Right. And I've seen him in front of audiences where he's, you could just feel, as soon as he gets on stage without him talking, they go like, oh, what is this guy? Yeah. And he goes, my father is a, my father's a Fox News guy. And they just go boo. And he goes, you guys, all your fathers are Fox News guys.

And then they cheer right after they booed. Yeah. They cheer. It's a really funny thing. It's this love hate. So this movie is about a guy who came from that and lives in New York and needs to go go back to it. Yeah.

You know. Right. Um, people have, uh, everyone has people in their lives that you don't, it's not your kind of person, but you just love them. You just love them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Nick DiPallo who's in the movie. Yeah. Nick was my roommate. I don't have it. There's not a person that I know personally who I'm less like than Nick DiPallo. We just don't agree. I love him. Sure.

And we brought him to this and we didn't know where it's a New York kind of crew. There's some younger people in the cast. Yeah. They, everybody loved Nick because nobody knows anybody like him. Yeah. And where we become so pushed apart that when you actually meet people. Right. From the other side, you fall in love with them because thank God they're not like you.

Well, and that's the thing, you know, that I think that that Shane does too. He's so funny is that he'll talk about his, you know, family of or like his dad and he's like his and but what he's not doing is going, fuck my piece of shit that. No, he doesn't. He doesn't would love. He also, he knows more about what's funny about his father. Exactly. So he points it out.

Seth Meyers or somebody like that who's never met anybody like that. Exactly. And he's aware of what his, what his dad and people like them represent. But it is like with affection. And so you end up, you laugh and you go, part of you goes like, oh yeah, that's my dad or that's my uncle too. And my uncle, this might be his point of view, but he's not a, he's not a horrible person. Doesn't make him a bad human.

No. And also this people are, there's an essence to people that kind of secretes a point of view that the political point of view is like the last part of who somebody really is. It's almost like the baseball cards that they trade. It just doesn't mean much. When you get underneath that to who they are, you got to know people who are vastly different than you. They're just built differently.

And Joe and I both came from, you know, the same area in Boston, but he was really a product of like, you know, Everett mass, which is more Boston than Boston is these, those towns like fucking Everett. And he has this really strange, nervous relationship with his, with his parents and his whole family. He used to, there he is, he used to. Me, myself. I hate myself. Yeah.

He used to deal with this disparity by drinking, by drinking a tremendous amount and becoming to help them become one of them. But then he became sober and now they're like, they hate him. Yeah. Is what the story is in the movie. Sure. Jesus. Well, and it's also like people, like that's you see in life too, is that when somebody

goes, I need to fix myself and people are threatened by that. Yeah. And you become the black sheep in the family, which is cool. That's right. I would just say though, the one thing that you've always been so gifted at amongst many things, but you capture the reality of life and its subtlety and its, its beauty and then its absolute shittiness and then its complicatedness and there's nobody else that can do this the way you do.

And I'm talking even back, like Tommy and I, remember you had his DVD of, of your shorts. Yeah. Yeah. The short films. I mean watching. That was like, I imagine. Yeah. Yeah.

I was a huge fan because I remember, I think it's that, you know, when you start doing stand-up, you want to find like what like, you know, you remember that you get on the stand-up as a kid because somebody made you laugh, but you're like a kid, but then when you start doing it, you're like, all right, how can I get that like inspiration or like, who's super funny again? And I think I saw you do the HBO Young Comedians special. Yeah. And you did a, it's a short set, it's like 10, 15.

Yeah. It's something like that 10 minutes. And it was so funny, like so funny. So I was like, I, I didn't know who you were at that time and it was all kind of unknowns. I think you did. I think Anthony Clark was on that. Anthony Clark. I remember that night so well.

It was Anthony Clark, Dave Vitell. Yes. Dave Chappelle. Oh my God. A guy named Eric Tunney who died and he's the only one in that group that died. And ever. No, no, no, no one else is going to die. And then me, I went on at the end.

I was the closest. It was so, dude. Oh yeah. Yeah, I did. Yeah. That's actually what you're looking at there. I think is the, I think that's the half hour. No, maybe you're right.

But that, that led me to just researching you. And I think I, I ended up finding Live in Houston, which was like, and that was like the album that I just made in Houston. Yeah. Like more like absurdist stuff. That's right. Right. And then I think from your site, it was like, you can also get, I go, well, I got to see

these guys fucking shorts that you're making. Which was fantastic. So you ordered a short film DVD for my website. Yes. So I packed that in an envelope. Wow. And said, and wrote Tom Segura, you know, I might have had a label maker. I don't know.

Yeah. But I did, I just would get the addresses. That's how we did merch at the start. Yeah. We would, we would sit in the room. And our shitty place in Silver Lake. Played in and didn't took me about five minutes a week to do it because not many people bought the stuff.

Yeah. But yeah, did the DVD and the CDs. Yeah. That was a fun, I have them made at this place and then you get them in these boxes. Yeah. It was fun. I enjoyed that. But what is this about you?

Where did you get this ability to see truth? I mean, you know, is it? You know, I don't, I don't know what I, I think to me it's the little moments is where real truth is, like the big truths of what life is. I have no idea and I'm not even, I'm humble before that. But the little things about how people behave, I, that's what I fall in love with. Like most of the things I've written and directed and stuff have been things that started with that, that like I thought of a moment, Oh God, it would be beautiful to see that

on film. These two people rubbing each other this wrong way. And so I built a story around it. Like the story is usually just horse shit to kind of, you know, yeah, to trap all the moments. To find the little, the moments. Yeah. That's why my series on, on FX was perfect for me because I was able to just really sometimes

the stories were only half as episode. Because I didn't want to have to carry a story structure is kind of a, God, we watched it so many times. Yeah. It was so fun. It was so good. And it's because, and it actually what stands out now looking back are like little moments. Like right now I can pull so many just like beats from that show that made me laugh.

Like I can remember there was an episode with one of your daughters where she's like, she got that. How come I don't get it? And you're like, well, that's life. Like, you don't know. You're not lucky right now. She's lucky and you're not right now. Yeah.

That's the way that goes. And the fact that you never hear that on television. No. No one ever says anything like that. But also I lose the argument because she just keeps saying, I want it. Yeah. And I go, no, you can't. Yeah.

And in the end, I don't give her one and I tell her to make sure I give her a chocolate and I tell her to make sure your sister gets one. Yeah. Yeah. Completely go back home. Right. Just how it ends up with children all the time. You try to teach the lesson.

Well, when you have two, it's like one year like this one needs work on this fairness thing. So you really shit down their throat about this thing. Yeah. The other one you give them a break. And also you have favorites from day to day. Yeah. It's just the way it is.

Of course. All right. My favorite moment ever, though, is when you're touring because Tom and I talk about this whole fucking time when you get into the car and the guy's talking to you and they mean well. And they're like, you and Cleveland, you're going to look around. What are you going to do? New York City, huh?

That's a bit. Look, traveling for me is like going to the toilet. Yeah. You just have to do it. And that's exactly how we feel. It's a weekly experience. Yes. Weekly.

You guys just shut them down. You have to break their hearts fast. Yeah. And then let them be up there just like, wow. Wow. And then they always want to tell you about the other comedian. Yes. What a great guy he was.

Yes. A set of a model for you to follow. He was so great, man. He sat up here with me. Yeah. He partied with me. Yeah. Yeah, that's not saying it happened.

Brooke took us out. Yeah, Brooke took us to dinner. And we had drinks. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, he's a good guy. Yeah. It's not me. Yeah.

I'm not doing none of that. You will not see me after you go up to this place. No. But that's so specific to our world and that you captured that? Well, and that's an example of something that came from a moment. The thing I wanted to see, and I think it came from just being picked up by a driver who had my name on his sign. And I had this notion that after seeing me that he would walk ahead of me and keep holding

the sign up. Yeah. Like not put it down. And I'm like, do you can? Yeah, you can. And that when I got to that, I thought, okay, so then we want to have a whole thing with limo driver. But that's what started it.

Yeah. Like there's a scene in one episode with Bobby Kelly, who plays my brother on the show on and off. There's some seasons he wasn't in. Yeah. Bobby, I was working in a theater in Somerville, Mass. And they had a light switch with a timer on it so that they wouldn't waste the light. So you had to twist it to the right and it would be, and at some point after you long

forget it, the light would just shut off and you'd have to go do it again. And I was like, I got to do a thing with this, with this fucking light. And I knew it should be Bobby and that he has a shitty apartment that he asks me like, how long are we going to be in here for? I'll put it on four. And so that turned into a whole thing that was broader about Bobby wanting me to see his apartment and feeling like I'm ashamed of him and not feeling like we connect anymore and stuff like that.

By the way, another thing that I've learned watching that show since is like Bobby Kelly is a tremendous actor. He's one of the best ever. I would never make something without him now. He's so good. Yep. And it stood out. And fourth of July, he's tremendous.

He's like the heart of the movie, even though he's not the central, he's not in the family and he's not he's he plays Joe Joe's character Jeff is an alcoholic and he's in AA and he's very active. Yeah. But the thing that was important for Joe and this came a lot of this movie came from Joe from things I learned from him and then turned into the movie. AA people have a lot of pet peeves and most movies that show AA show a meeting and really glorify it.

And they of course show somebody falling off the wagon. It's the only reason to have an alcoholic in a movie is you could watch them fall off the wagon and then work back. That's the only story for an alcoholic. But for people who are really AA, it's like the fucking guy who won't shut up. And the awkwardness of like the being a sponsor. Sponsors always shown as a very wise person, which Bill Chef plays Joe's sponsor and he is very wise, but you never show what it's like to sponsor somebody when you haven't

done it. Yeah. And it's just fucking awkward. Yeah. And that you have no self confidence in your your your his sobriety is in your hands now. Yeah. And of course they do this because this helps you to look after somebody else. But so his Bobby's vulnerability that look at that face, you just want to cry when you

see that guy. Yeah. It's a baby and he needs he just instantly needs Joe like a big baby and it's too much for Joe. Yeah. I remember like when that when your show was on, seeing him the first time and like I think when the first episode I thought I was like, yeah, he's a really good actor. He's really good.

Really good. And when you have a guy like that, you just abuse him because you don't like when we're shooting something if there's if it's a harsh scene, he goes last. He goes he's he's had to feed everybody their lines all day. Yeah. Everybody else out and you're losing light and you tell him like, dude, you need to get this like you have no time. Yeah.

And he goes, OK, but I always put him in that position because he's he's just a baller. He's great. That's awesome. He I also shot a special with him in Florida, which I'm going to release on my website in September. Oh, really? Yeah. We took him down to Florida and found this interesting weird space and we shot a great

special. Great. That's awesome. Yeah. Amazing. What did you get? I remember when you I think you sent this email out that like FX, your series is I'm like, how do you get your series from FX?

Yeah, it's kind of crazy. I don't think anybody's done that. No. Well, FX took my series off. I don't know why it's so weird. It was really successful and then they just made an arbitrary decision to just I mean, I was baffled. Like, guys, why?

We're like, it's just the feeling we have. I was like, that's weird guys. Probably like a new CEO. They always do shit like that. That's the thing. I hadn't thought of that. There wasn't one, but maybe it's something like that. Anyway, so I wanted people to see the show.

You were able to go on iTunes or Amazon and buy episodes like a single episode or but it wasn't streaming anywhere and it also wasn't being sort of amplified and like celebrated anywhere. So I went to the FX and said, hey, why don't you know, let me have it. And it was a hard deal to make because it belongs to Disney now. It's Buena Vista and Disney owns Fox. It's a whole new world. And so I was dealing with them and they were willing, but they basically they made me a

vendor like anybody else. And that was that I couldn't I also couldn't do what they needed for security and for like the level that they need to have. Yeah. I don't on my website isn't isn't a huge platform. Right. So it took a few years of kind of figuring that out. Working this out.

Yeah. And also talking to FX. And finally, there's sort of with some somebody, I mean, I really am very grateful to FX because they just pushed it through to where I hope it's all right that I'm saying that. But to the point where I got a decent, they just let me rent it like I own it for two years. I license it. You can only stream it.

I can't do downloads like I do with other stuff. Yeah. But that way I was able to set a price because I had to compete, I had to be competitive with the other guys. I couldn't undercut. So they took it off Amazon off iTunes. You can't get anywhere else. And because I was able to do that, I could do what I really wanted was to charge almost

it's $30. You get the whole five seasons. You get the entire series, which I think is good. That's good. So you still paying nothing because they stream, but my website is a pay or play thing. And you can stream it. You can't download it, but the stream light lasts for like five years from when you buy it.

Oh, amazing. Yeah. And you can buy one season for like 10 bucks. Or the whole thing. The whole thing for 30. Yeah. And I just love having it on my website. I love having it there.

I love that that's where you can get it. And it's going out. People are buying it. It's fun. Sorry, I just remembered. What? It always made me laugh so hard that in that show, yeah, you're with your therapist and he says, you say something about like not having friends or something.

He's like, do you think it's because you're fat? Yes. And you're like, wait, are you? He's like, I don't know. No, no, he was, that was the first season. This guy was amazing. Like fucking, I'm going to be angry that I can't find his name if you're, if your folks can look it up.

But he was the guy in, um, he was in a movie called Warriors, Jersey Warriors. Like back in the, like the old movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he's the bad guy in Warriors. Oh, really? And if you could find me one thing that's, OK, there, no, that's not him.

There. Yeah. That's him. So what's his fucking name? That's, um, David something, I think. He was so good. David Little. We only shot with him one day a whole season.

David Little. David Little. Is that his name? Yeah. David Little. It doesn't sound familiar to me. It's probably not. He's like very.

Can he look some more? Can you have Zolo look? He seems. If you want to just watch one clip and maybe it's wasted your time, but it's really, it's just the last scene of the Warriors. He's got these little bottles on his fingers and he's going, Warriors. Oh, yeah. He was always one of my favorite actors of all time and now he's this guy, older guy

with glasses. And he's so, he's very soft spoken in this. Yes. There's one scene. I didn't have those scripted. Like I would just give him one and then he would do it. And one of them was, I'm talking about sex, David Patrick Kelly. That's him.

Okay. I'm talking about sexual frustration and he says, sex is really, people think it's complicated, but it's very simple. The man takes his penis. He puts it in the woman's vagina and then she dies. I'm like, what? There he is. Fucking badass.

Oh, man. Yeah. There he is with the bottles. That's him? Yeah. That's him. Oh my God. That face.

What a great face. Now, one of the funnest things about the series was casting because New York has an incredible array of people. Which brings me to my next question. If you had to create the perfect woman, would it be Pamela Adlin? No. What? No, it's not perfect.

I always, I have this fantasy because I, you guys, I just feel, she's in so much of your stuff. Yeah. No, she's great. She's amazing. Huge talent. Yeah. I feel like you guys would fit together.

I don't know. I have this fantasy. Pamela and I had, we had a great storied relationship for us. We had, we worked together for years and we're from Lucky Louie all the way through Louie and through, you know, she was in my movie, I Love You Daddy, that also for some, I don't know what happened with that. Where can we see that? I don't know where.

I don't know what happened. I just fell out of my pocket. I don't know what happened. But Pamela is a very unique and wonderful talent and she's got such a depth of history, you know, in television. She was a kid actor and a voice actor and yes, I always loved women like this. I like tomboy women and I just like that she's not what you expect. She's not, she's, she's tough and she's goofy and she's got incredible comic timing.

I just always could trust her with anything. And then when I did Louie, she helped me, she was like a sounding board. I didn't, I wrote the whole series, but I had folks that I depended on who had good sharp ear and good sense. And her and Vernon Chapman was one, Stephen Wright worked on the show for a while. And these were just people who I just trusted because you can't, when it's all your thing, that's very hard. I don't think I would do that again is like a thing that's about me written by me, directed

by, it's just too much. It's really sick. So those folks helped me a lot. And then, and then I helped her get her series, Better Things, which I think went five seasons. Yeah, you love that series. I just love her and I love that you, your female characters are like cool as shit. Like I'd actually kick it with her. Yeah.

Most of the time you see a woman in a funny show and they're just like, like they're just, they're not people. Well, it's because they're created by desires of other people, a lot of female characters are created by like, here's what I want in a woman. Like when we were doing Lucky Louis, I had a lot of fights with some of the writers about Pamela because I wanted, she's supposed to be a nurse, an overworked nurse mother with a husband that doesn't really earn any money. And they wanted her to be a sweet sitcom wife.

So there was always this kind of like, you know, it was just so hard and it taught me why, like we did an episode about her having an orgasm and she realizes that she hasn't had one before and that she's 34 and then she was then, and then she's having her first one and she's like, what kind of, what am I, how could this have been there all this time and I never had one. And then it threw the whole rest of the episode, I'm trying to make her have another one. It was one of my favorite episodes. Dan Mince wrote it with another guy, Aaron Schor or something like that.

Anyway, it doesn't, well, it matters. But they, so I'm trying to make her, and my neighbor, his wife keeps screaming and in sexually coming and I can hear it through the wall. So one day I knock on the door and I ask him, how do you make your wife come that hard? And he goes, and he's kind of staying out of his, what are you saying? Last night I could hear her coming and he's like, I was out of town last night. Anyway, but Pamela, so the thing that happened was that in the end, I'm trying to make her come again after that first time and I can't do it.

And finally she goes, can we just go back to where you come and I watch my shows because I hate this. And that was her, because we had another solution to it, but I asked Pamela, what do you, what would you do in this situation? She said, I wouldn't want the coming after, I don't want it. Let me watch my shows, this is sex, it's a chore, just do it, you come, it's gross. And so I put that in and one of the writers objected saying, I want her to claim her power, I want her to have her orgasm and it's hers, her choice.

Well, folks don't get to live that way and it's also not fun to watch and it's not, it's not where people meet and love each other, it's in their strength, it's in their, it's in their weakness. Right. So I think that that's what I always loved about her as a character and as a writer and all these things is that she shows her weakest self, she shows her how hard it can be. This leads me to another question that I wrote here because this is something else I remembered from the FX series, is there's an episode where the character, the actor that played

your father on the show, you know, he did the, he would appear a few times, older guy. F. Murray Abraham. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he would, he was hilarious. Best. And there's, there's one episode I remember where you go from him talking to you, to you on stage, doing stand up, talking about your dad giving sex advice. Yeah.

Was that, is that real? Yeah. So that actually is funny, the way you remember shows, because that guy was a different actor and F. Murray Abraham played my uncle. Sorry. But then he played my father and oh, it's OK. It's interesting how you get to connect people. Yeah.

He played my father in his flashback episode. OK. But he, he, he played my, my uncle telling me to go see my father. OK. So yes, my father, when it was time to give me the sex talk, to tell me what sex, I mean, I didn't know, I needed all the information. And he said, here's what she needs to know about sex. When you enter a woman, you only enter her slightly and then you pull out.

Oh my God. And she wants more and you go in a little bit more. And then you come out and you don't. And she asks you and you refuse and you refuse. My father's Mexican, too. And you refuse and you make her wait until she is boiling over with passion. And then you enter her more, but you keep doing this until she finally explodes. This is how to make.

He taught me how to make a woman come fucking throw out before he explained, yeah, that even that this goes. So varsity, yeah, how old are you? I was small and then he was like, repeated the back to me. Because I was always in this sort of weird, he would bring me in and tell me I'd stand there and then he dismissed me. That's how he saw himself as like a grandfather of a European, you know, Mexicans are really European people.

You know, it's such an old city. It's very traditional. I'll teach you how to make a woman come today. I well, it works. Yeah, yeah, he was right. Yeah, yeah, that's a hundred percent right. Well, you're Hungarian though, right? Well, his father was a Hungarian Jewish guy.

OK, with one leg. Sweet. Who came to Mexico because it was hard to get seen. I say it's one of the turn of the century and married a Mexican woman and lived there his whole life. My abuelo. Yeah. What a what a background.

Yeah, crazy. And your mother? My mother is like Irish, you know, English, English, ten minors. And they meet in Mexico? They came here to mine copper. OK. No, she went to school in Ohio, but then she took summer classes at Harvard. And my dad was there trying to get a degree.

And that's where they met on campus. Wow. Yep. And I don't know what year. Harvard. So you're you're smart. Well, my dad never didn't make it through it. My mom only took classes there.

But, you know, she she came from, you know, farmers and her dad was a math teacher and had a farm, but my dad's side of the family was like cultured. And they, you know, also in the Mexicans, you know, believe it or not, the Mexican side, they were quite educated. Yeah, my abuelita was who died at a hundred years old a couple of years ago. Wow. Yes, she lasted a long time. And she was from a from Puebla, a very nice suburb of Mexico City

and, you know, from a good family. And your dad is still alive? Yes. And in Mexico, still? No, he lives in near Massachusetts. Oh, OK, OK. Yeah, in a little room, a little room, a very small room. He sits there, put your finger in, put your finger in, take it out.

Holy shit. Yeah, that's like two generations of trauma. I mean, the Hungarian is just gone, right? They're traumatized. Well, that was my grandfather was beaten up by cops. They called him a dirty Jew, and they beat him with their gun butts and put him in a prison for like three months. Jesus. Yeah.

In Hungary. Yeah. Yeah. And then he got out. He had to he had to confess to something he didn't do. And and so then he moved to Prague and went to medical school and played the violin for an orchestra to pay for med school. I mean, what? Imagine the level of pussy that even with one leg. Even with a leg. Yeah. Yeah.

The cool thing is Hungary hasn't really evolved that much. Not a lot. No, it's really fucked up. It's really fucked up. No, and also they sent, you know, they're the only country that the Germany didn't occupy. Yeah. But they just sent their Jews. Yeah. They're like, you want the Jews? Well, just take them.

And they just that's how they stayed unoccupied. Yeah, they're like, here we go. The Hungarians were like, open arms, come. That's right. Yeah. No, I went to Auschwitz and there's a book of all of the names. Yeah. And there it's a room of a book. Yeah. And there's like 20 pages of my last name. Oh, my gosh.

They're all from mostly out of the million. I think it's one point one million that died in Auschwitz. Six hundred thousand were just Budapest Jews. Jesus. Wow. Yeah. So Budapest was just like, we got number one. Did I? Yeah. Because you're smart. You I was a fucking idiot and used

Pajitsky as my fucking stage name for like a longest time. And then I took a page. Well, when I was like, dude, CK. Yeah. That's how do you say your Hungarian name? It's say CK. CK. Yeah. Say again. So that's so smart. And I was like, what am I doing?

What am I doing? I'm mad people can't say or spell my last name stupid. So I finally just change it to what is it now? It's P letter P. Can't fuck that up. Can't bring me up incorrectly. That's smart. You can spell it. Your parents should have done that at Ellis Island.

I agree. Yeah. Just Pete or Johnson. What is it? It's Czech or Polish or what? No, I'm a hongo too. The last name is a Pollock name, but my parents escape from Hungary in 69. So I don't know.

I feel like that DNA is a it's resilient and it's dark DNA. That's the thing is the thing I feeling I had in Auschwitz was that survival like you think of survival as a beautiful, warm, glowing act like the sun. Survival is a bitter thing. It's a bitter grit strength. Yes. And, you know, and that's what my grandfather was.

He was a tough dude. And that's why his strain made it through it. Yeah, he got out. I mean, we lost like forty four people, I think, and out just in Auschwitz and he he was the guy who wasn't going to. And he had a good sense of humor, but it was dark as fuck. And he was, you know, so, yeah, the Hungarians do they just and it's a scrappy place.

I've done shows there. Yeah. Yeah. So is he. Yeah. I did show I did show in Budapest, Budapest. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it is a scrappy place. I told her I I think I told you yesterday when I arrived, it was it was my first stop on my European tour. And the driver was a guy in his like mid 20 May late 20s Hungarian.

And he spoke some English, but he spoke great Spanish because he played tennis. And when he was like a teen, his family moved to Spain to try to just see how far he could go with tennis. It's a good tennis program there. So when we started speaking in Spanish in the car and we're having this chat on the way there and he's like, what are you most excited about in Budapest?

And I go, I go, I can't wait to shoot a porn. Because I knew that it's a big big scene there. And he goes, I will set this up for you. And I go, I go, no, I'm kidding. He goes, I'm not. I know everybody for it. I have the girls. I can get to you. I was like, OK, I did. And then I told him

because I've learned some Hungarian over the years, obviously, just like practice, mostly insulting things. So I was like, I can't wait to see the Rocha cigans. And he goes, oh, which is the rot and gypsies. Right. And he goes, they will kill you. They will kill you on the street. That's what they say. They say that they will kill you. Yes. I was like, OK.

He goes, do not say that unless somebody looks like me. I go, yes. No, you get a feeling in the Eastern European countries that if something happens, there's not going to be a great result. Yeah, it's not going to. If you get killed, they're going to be like, all right. Yeah, it's all right. Yeah, there's an investigation isn't going to take place.

Yes, I remember I was in a taxi and I think in New York and it was the driver was like a Muslim. And there was a woman crossing in front of us and he haunted her because she went after the light had turned and she gave him the finger and he said to me, do you know in my country, if a woman show you this finger, I could get out, beat her to death. And if I drive by here a week later, she's still just be laying there.

Like nobody would even clean it up. Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah, it's a varied world. And I love the Eastern Europe is my favorite place to do comedy, like in the world. Yeah, I was just in Bucharest in Romania. There was and all you all I did was tell them how horrible it is where they live and they just die.

They love it. They are the best laughers in the world. But you walk around and you're like, this is kind of the outskirts. Well, it's kind of like an A.A. room. If you've ever performed for an A.A. crowd, they're the fucking best. Because they've been through everything. Same with Eastern blockers. I feel like it's like generation after generation of bullshit.

The other thing is right. What are you going to do to me? The open like the open racism towards the Gypsies is refreshing. You know, like most people have to mask their racism a little bit. Yeah, like when I was with that guy, he's like, they are garbage people. They're terrible. There are cockroaches. When I moved, I moved to my ex-wife and I moved to Greenport and Greenpoint,

which is a part of Brooklyn that's the Polish. It's the Polish part and never quite gets cool like it just doesn't quite. I think now finally there's cool young people there. But everybody was moving to Williamsburg when we were and nobody. It was just a little dog leg up to Greenpoint. Nobody was there and we found a great place like a lot of room. But when we were looking, the realtors are always Polish or German and or whatever Eastern European and and they give you after they show you the

place to show you where the sun comes in. They give you all the part of the breakdown is the race breakdown. And they don't go like this. They go like, of course, you want to know this and because they weren't used to Manhattanites. They go like, OK, so this block, all Polish. Next, some German. No blacks, no blacks.

They just like the Jew. The Jew is in they always refer to Jews in the singular. The Jew, he's in he's in Bed-Stark. But don't worry about black. Yeah, no blacks. No blacks. It's amazing. No, it is. It's funny.

But we're making the movie. Fourth of July on Lucy K.com for $15. The one of the people that worked on it want to name him because but he was one of the guys that we interviewed that worked on the movie. He said he we talked about he read the script. We went through it. We had an interview. And at the end of it, he said, I just want to say this as a gay man

from New England. And he's saying it slowly. So my girl, boy, he goes, the use of the word in your script, the liberal use was such a refreshing thing to read. He was like, these are these are my family. Yeah. And if they when it drives me crazy when people make movies and they don't use this word because it's in the world and he goes anyway, they don't mean me.

Yeah, they're saying it to hurt each other and it's hilarious to me. And I don't care. But it really he found it insulting that people like whitewash these. They always do. It's usually an executive who's very, you know, wants to come. It's like it's like it's their own. It's that executive's own personal taste of language. You're like, yeah, but that's not how people speak in the world.

No, I understand that you might not speak this way, right? It's not representative of the world. No. And the point isn't the weirdest thing to do with art is to clean up. Oh, my. Don't even get to change how stuff really is. You know, I was what's the point? I was an intern at Copelson Entertainment when I first got to L.A. And they had we're doing some it ended up being a big movie with some thriller. I forget like along came a spider or something like that.

And they let us sit in on one of these big meetings with like the top producers. And we were going through the script. And the vice president of Copelson was like, and on page, you know, twenty seven, we're going to remove cunt that somebody says. And and say a bitch. And I was an intern, right? And I was like, I go, I go, why? Why would you do that?

And she's like, it's a foul offensive. And I go, but what if it's supposed to be? Yeah, like what? Like, bitch is common, so it's not as offensive. So it doesn't have the same bite. That's right. And she was like, OK, in turn, like, yeah, this is where you can stop talking. And I was like, OK.

But I was like, you know, that it's supposed to have more bite. That's right. Like when cunt is the word that's needed. Yes. The one you use. And not only that, you have this brilliant bit. Right. I hate the N word. The N word. Why? Because it makes me have to think it.

Yes, you say it. You say it. And this is so true. So it doesn't it doesn't erase the word out of existence if we come up with ways around words and pronouns and all this nonsense. Oh, it makes me fucking. Well, especially in comedy, because the point of comedy to me is that you're you're loosening the you're just not worrying about it.

Yeah. The comedy is a game. It's not more polite speech. It's a break from it. Right. So if comedy is polite and helpful and positive, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? You're going to pay to watch somebody talk about this is the way things should be. And I'm really happy for this group of people.

That's not entertaining. And it's not it's a very ancient art that somehow has made it through years and decades and generations of people that were very sensitive in the past. But somehow they would always be allow this game in this room. We're just not going to give a shit about this right now. Yeah, we're just going to say suspension of disbelief. Yes. And also it's that you take away the social, the the moral arrow. Yes. And you go, there's no gravity here.

Yeah. And what it lets you do is go. It's like going like this just for a minute. Yeah. What if we talk like this? Yeah. Because when you decide how everything's supposed to be said, which is a social function. Yes. It's a social function and it's a and it's sometimes a healthy one to all agree what's polite and what you should and shouldn't say. In society, in in certain circles, right?

Right. People want to get along with each other. People don't want to hurt each other's feelings. This is all normal. Yeah. But comedy has always been this insane game that's like, we're just not going to worry about it right now. And what it sometimes accidentally does is it lets you say something that ends up being valuable, not just that it's crazy, but that it's valuable because like, well, nobody was talking over there.

But nobody was over. Nobody was thinking in this area without without tension. They were just going, fuck it, we're just going to just for today, just for this one hour, which is why it's, I think, particularly infuriating when somebody, like, let's say, a journalist will write about something in a show and takes it out of the context of that show. Right. Presents it as this was it's essentially presented

as this happened at at a meeting or at lunch or in a polite circle. It's like, no, it happened in that room where there's the unspoken agreement that we're doing this thing. So it's here's the thing you can change is the infuriating part. Yeah, you don't have to get infuriated at this. Yeah, because it's calculated when they do this for profit. It's for profit. It's because right now. And by the way, it's waning.

It's I don't think it's worth as much money as it used to be. So you're seeing less. The only reason you're seeing less of it. Yeah, because people aren't as interested in this story anymore of like, what did he say? It is the cheapest, silliest thing you can do. Is like, guess what that comedian said? He said something wrong. Of course he did.

That's what comedy is. Yeah. Yeah. Comedy is saying something that you shouldn't say either because it's it doesn't make sense. Yeah. It's like shitting on a joke because because it didn't make sense. Like a silly joke. Yeah. Saying, how could he say that? It's not that. Yeah. Well, it's a fucking joke. Yeah.

Either because it doesn't make sense. You shouldn't say it or because it's impolite or because it's wildly inappropriate or because nobody ever talks like that. These are all reasons to you just say it. Yes. It's fun. So but I don't get mad at this. I don't. Yeah. To me, the way to we end up getting in this bad place

and it comedians too much, I think, with each other of because it's another way. It's our clickbait. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Is like, fuck those people that hate comedy. And and that's also easy. That's another cheap thrill. Sure. Is like, look at what an idea this journalist is. Of course they are. They're doing it because they're making money.

That's all it is. That's all they're doing. They don't mean what you're saying. That is true. They don't. I swear. They don't mean it. They certainly don't care. They don't care. It's just a game. So you can play it, too. And you can go like, fuck these people. Or you can just keep generating comedy.

Yeah. The thing is that the audience has never stopped wanting it. Yeah. This is true. I mean, have you seen your tickets go down? No. Because of anti-comedy. No. It's people. Crazy. This is the way I feel about it is that not only do they love it, they need it.

The kind of comedy that that I do that different for everybody, they need it. It's like how they get through life. Yeah. So I'm happy to take some shit from some cynical people that are faking it. Yeah. When there is a sincere need on that. That's worth protecting. That's that's most of the population.

There is also most people want comedy and they want they do. They want it to be the way it is. They don't want it fucked with. So it's our job to resist that shit. It's our we shouldn't pass that stress on to the to our audience. We should it's like when you have kids. Yeah. And there's some tough or bad going on and you taking it on. But when you turn your face to your kids, you should be like,

don't worry about this. Yeah. I got this. I can take it. Yeah. I can take shit from these folks. They're just they're just making a little bit of money. And you're giving me a lot more. Yeah. So yeah. So, you know, if you face that crowd, you're turning away from the people. And it's most human beings love comedy.

Most human beings don't give a shit about any of this. No, they just want a coke and a smile. That's all they want. It's all anyone I want. So so do you think because of what you've been through that you have like, I have to say the last sorry was like, I can you just see a man that's like zero fucks given. Do you feel like do you feel like because of what you've endured that like,

man, you're just are you know what I mean? Like, have you transcended giving a fuck? Well, it's so. You know, a lot of things happen at the same time. So you take on the sense of freedom at the same time as you take on, you know, it's been painful. So in some ways, I have a thinner skin and in some way. But I look after myself better than I used to.

I think before all this stuff happened, I was quite reckless with my life and with my privacy and with my ego and with my everything. I was just like, hey, everybody look, you know, look at this, look at everything. And I was just letting it all out and and also taking on anything I was asked to do. And it was just, you know, and I didn't have a sense of. Like in the in this last special, sorry, I use Bob Dylan. What do you call this song, like a like a rolling stone in the opening because of this one line where he says, your friends all said, beware, doll,

you're going to fall. You thought they were all kidding you. This is the way I look at my life before was that I just didn't think there was danger in the world somehow. So now I do. And that's changed me a little bit. So that's opposite of like no fuck human in a sense. But that's more about the way I live my life and the way I plan my life now.

But on stage, that's holy. That's a holy place for me. And I do think I got that back was the sense of like, don't let anything get between you and the perfect version of this joke and the audience's enjoyment of it. Like that's that place is sealed off to get there. Yeah, it was a bit of a process because I was really scared coming back to work at first. I don't think people ever really appreciate. I mean, only only people who have been in your position can appreciate the

like the the feeling of, you know, being publicly like shamed. And they don't really register like and then you don't get to in many ways explain it. Right. No, you can't really. Right. Right. You don't really because then you have a lot of people going, oh, poor you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But but there is something to be said about like, hey, that is like a it's a painful experience. Right. Like it's painful to be to be like

looked at a certain way and talked about. And you just have to keep that to yourself, you feel like. Yeah, for the most part, I think so. I think it's hard to express. It's painful to talk about. And it's and it's exposing to talk about in a way that's I'm not sure if it's safe. You know, yeah. So, yeah.

But there's a lot of things in life that work on you inside. Yeah. And there's a lot of ways that no one can see the world the way you see it. Yeah. They look at they see you and the way you live your life from the outside. Totally see it from this side. And there's a huge gap there. So at first, I think I used to think, how can I bridge that gap?

How can I sure? How can I make that the same? And then I realized, no, that's a good gap. That's a good gap. And it did give me back something I didn't have for a lot of years, which I missed, which was privacy. I'm a different person than other people think I am. Yeah.

And a lot of people don't know what I've experienced. And that's kind of a guy kind of treasure that in a way. Yeah. So I didn't expect that to be part of it. But yeah, you also, you just have to accept it. It's all and anybody who's been through anything, I'll tell you that acceptance is how you survive anything that. Yeah. And that is the truth, especially with becoming a mom. It's like this radical acceptance of what is versus what was.

That's right. And it seems to me like that's the only like your father was great at that, is accepting what is just what's going on right now. Not what you've, what the story is in your head. It's like a radical acceptance is a great phrase. And it is, I think a mom is a good, a good example. It's like the one example because it's too much, too much, right? Yeah. It's just overwhelming.

A dad can take just how much he wants and then a little more and then brag about the little more. Yeah. Dad's love saying like, oh, it's so hard. I'm, you know, it's up all night. Fuck you, like fuck you because you can go. All right. And I'm going to work. But the mom is just, it's just like, you just want to fucking burn this thing. Yeah. Same days. Yeah.

And then guilt of feeling. Oh, that's the worst. The guilt of the feeling and the shame that's built in. Yeah. But that's it. It's the only thing that that stabilizes it is radical acceptance. It's like, well, that's not the world anymore. That's just not the world. And also when it becomes a new condition, it's different for people

that have gone through something like losing a limb or trauma. And then life after that is full of like support and trying to get back. But when your life changes to where it's like, this is hard now. Yeah. This new version of life is hard every day. And there's stuff getting harder. It's not like when you can't find. I think that's what motherhood is like to it just gets harder and harder. And yeah, you just got to go, OK, just every day, see how you get through this

through this day, and it's not going to be better tomorrow. That's the hardest thing. Yeah. It's not tomorrow is not going to be that way for me. My hope, you bastard. No, but that's the only way you're going to get the only way to find peace in any of this. Yes. Better. No, it's like tomorrow is going to blow just like today. And all the best efforts, all the super human things.

There isn't some like, you know, physical therapist helping me learn how to, yeah, you know, come on, man, you can do it. You know, somebody from another country who's helping you get. It's just going to suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck. Nature really helps going out and seeing the world, the the earth. Yeah, like dirt, like I used to. I'm not a gardener, but there is a garden in this house I have out in the shelter island and I don't garden.

I don't plant anything, but I it's kind of crazy by going there and I just dig. I just get my hands in the dirt. I just touch the soil. Yeah. And you realize when you really how often you do that, like almost never, right? Now, I'm just not into gardening, but I want to do that part because it's ripping the soil of the earth and going, this is a living. It's crazy. Yeah. And if you put a seed in their shit grows, it's fucking sick.

It's a magical place. Sure. And when you just see it as grass, pavement, areas that I can walk on to get to the next task, you just are missing the fucking point. If you can actually get in there, I got really into I went to Africa and I almost got I looked into I was looking into a tree because it had gaps in it and this guy ran up and punched me. And he said, there's black mambo snakes that wait for somebody to do that.

Oh, shit. So they can he goes in, you're dead and I can't help you. Anyway, that's a good lesson. Cool. Yeah. Yes. Don't put your eye in there, dummy. Don't. How did you? I never got to ask you this. Yeah. How did you feel? I don't know when it was, but I think you you had popped in and done a set of like governors, I remember, in Long Island.

Yeah. And it leaked. That's right. Oh, yeah. Such a good set. But I didn't know you then. What your whether this was like, OK, to you, like where you let it go. Was it upsetting? Like, what was the actual? Well, it was a real drag because I was back to work. And I was trying to get. So I was working at the cellar and it was hard there.

And there was a lot of controversy about my working. And I just wanted to get forty five minutes. Yeah. So that I could put a show on that was me announced so that I'm in my own place. Right. And I got there as quick as I could. Yeah. And then I started doing governors. And mostly because that was the closest club. Yeah. And they're great guys there.

They just always invite me back. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Names. Yeah. Suck at it. I only know one. Yeah. Mark. Yeah. Mark. But so. Yeah. So so we so I was there and I was I was doing shows in their grass having a ball. And it was I hadn't I didn't go on stage for ten months,

which is a very long time. Oh, my God. And then this kind of shit at the cellar and then I'm back. It's my own crowd and I feel I'm feeling my my mojo a little bit. I'm getting back and I've been kind of I hadn't looked at media at all or news because it was scary for me. So I was just I was a little in the dark about how what was going going on in the world. But I was playing with an idea.

It was the first night I did those jokes. And it was just about young people taking themselves very seriously. That was the general thing was that I just remember being that age that we were just jackasses. Yeah. And I remember watching movies like Little Darlings with Jodie Foster and Tatum O'Neill. I think it was two girls trying to get laid at camp with Matt Dillon with cigarettes and his you know, he's a yeah and smoking.

All teenagers smoking and pop in, you know, beer bottle caps. That was like what we did. Yeah. And and carving like beer, you know, like Coors in a picnic table at the park. Just fucking idiots. Yeah. And these kids are testifying before Congress on their, you know, Greta and all these people. And I was like, geez.

So that was where this so I so I was talking with a couple of comedians about these things and I started spouting. I started really getting loose. Yeah. And I said this thing about like, so what if you got shot? If somebody, if kids got shot at your school, it doesn't make you particularly knowledgeable about gun control. Right. Just because you pushed a fat kid in the way so that you didn't

because you didn't get shot. So I don't have to listen to you. It just being an idiot. Yeah. Yeah. And and then I was reaching with this stuff about trans people with the with the with the pronouns because what came off to me was a haughtiness, you know, like using a first of all, a plural for a pronoun, which is royal. Yeah, sure. Only royalty says we we this is how we feel.

And so I was playing with that and saying, OK, my I want to be called there because I'm I identify as a place and that place is your mother's country. This is just me just fucking throwing spaghetti on the walls. I don't give a shit. It's also how sets develop. That's how they develop. It was the first time I tried those jokes. Now, when I develop material that's in tough places,

I have a method. I say the worst version and then usually they don't like it. But I listen to that. I listen to the oh, yeah. And there's a sound in it and I go, OK, I think I think I know what. Either I'm going to take that oh, and I'm going to play with it or I'm going to find a way around it because I know it now. I know I need to hear.

I need to hear the descent. And then the next time you do the bit. And sometimes I'm like, I don't want to fucking I don't want to set these people tonight. Yeah. But I know there's a bit in this that they're going to like. Yeah. And I work on it and work on it to the point where everybody likes it. And I'm talking about something that you're not supposed to say. And everybody. I mean, I did a bit on SNL for like, you know,

almost primetime television, that fucking show about chalm molesters. Yeah. And I worked on it really hard. Every bit that I have, that's like a that's a great bit. Yeah. Started as that no one wants to hear. Yeah. Every single one. So I know this formula. Yeah. Now, honestly, I didn't think that the some of the stuff I was talking about was that big a deal.

I think that there was a heightened sensitivity to it, but they're not actually dark subjects. Right. They're if there is a new identity on in the American landscape, it needs to be laughed at, scrutinized, played with, questioned. It's how we get to know each other. If you really want to get to know someone, you don't sit there and go, and tell me, tell me your experience. You go, so what? What is this?

What the fuck is this? And what's that? And then they go, I don't know. And you laugh and you know. And so that's how I feel. Sure. This is me. But so anyway, when that set hit, it was it was New Year's Day or something. And it was like a couple of months old.

And suddenly it was there on YouTube. And I immediately did what I always do. You just write to YouTube. You make a complaint form. And it takes five minutes. Yeah. And it goes away. It's happened to me a million times. Yeah. Somebody tapes a show.

You tell YouTube, they take it off. So they didn't take it off. And I kept trying and I got my assistant to try. She couldn't do it. I called my web guy, my lawyer called somebody at YouTube. He sent a letter and they just wouldn't take it down. And then my assistant started trying, taking down other clips that we hadn't bothered to take, you know, some that we just didn't care.

It came down immediately. Everything was coming down. So the system was working and alive. But this one wasn't going anywhere. And it was getting. And I was like, that's interesting. So I had no interest in having a set out in the world. Yeah. Of course.

I was already like, I just wanted nobody to be talking about me. I didn't want to be in the zeitgeist. I want I was trying to do everything I could to stay low and to only get as straight line as I could to an audience that wanted to hear the jokes and nobody else. Right. And I was so scared because it was getting 100,000 hits, 400,000 hits. All the comments were like, this is hilarious. The set on the whole.

It was a good set. Yeah, I was proud of it. Tremendous. Yeah, I was working. I was working some good stuff. But so that means that somebody there at YouTube was like, no, they wouldn't take it down. And so then the next day, every press organization had it embedded like Rolling Stone dot com said, watch the leak set here. Yeah. And they were all.

So they were all there's all these slot machines paying off. Tink, tink, just tons of money being made on this set. And it was a huge story. And then people on early morning daytime TV are talking about it. People that and they're telling people from the Parkland shooting. They're the parents of dead kids. Guess what he said? Yeah, they're not they're not in the audience.

That's not who. Yeah, I know. It's the last thing in the world I wanted to happen with a raw joke that had no had not had no work on it. No time on it. There's a thing people sometimes say when they're upset about a joke, they go, I'd like to see you go up to like somebody on the street and say this to their face and you're like, why would I do that? Why would you like to see me do that?

Why would I? Why would you want that to happen to them? Yeah, that's not how this works. Yeah. That's yeah. So that's again, that's an easy, easy pick in this thing to do and out. But I was in the very hot red hot white hot center of it. Sure. And it was a hard hit to take because I already had very little skin. Yeah. Yeah.

And yeah, I can't really describe how bad it was. It was bad. Yeah. It's a bad time. Yeah. I'm sorry. I mean, it was yeah. Thanks. I mean, other people have gone through bad things. Yeah, of course. And it's been a hard bunch of years for everybody. Sure. For like the whole goddamn country.

So that's one thing that I started to look at was what's happened everywhere. You know, sure. So. And that kind of made it, you know. Made it so much easier. So much easier. We love you, though. Can I, I mean, I want to have a question that I've been wanting to ask you for years. Yeah. It's one of those. There's two. Sitting on a cot because I'm gay.

Best joke ever. It's the best joke ever. It is. Who is the guy? I don't know. Somebody knows out there. Fuck. Yeah. You said that in an interview. Yeah. No, the Ricky, the thing Ricky did talking about comedy. Yeah. Chris and Jerry.

Yeah. You said that there. And I was like, he's right. I think that might be the funniest fucking thing. It's the funniest joke. It's just so dumb. It's just so dumb. And you go. And you go, because I'm gay. And then Chris said, did he do the whistle?

Yeah. So good. So speaking of Cox. Yeah. Wait, my favorite joke now. Go ahead. I have a new favorite joke. Go ahead. It's Dan Natterman. Yeah, I know Dan Natterman. So I'm going to quote one of his jokes.

OK. So he says that he's talking about sex ed in school. He says, my teacher gave us sex education. He brought in a banana and he said, children, I'm going to teach you how to put on a condom. And I brought this banana because I can't get a heart on an empty stomach. That's amazing. So good.

That's really good. So this being said, I've noticed a theme of dicks. Now, not every male comic, by the way, and I judge male comic by his ability to talk about his own dick, Jack in his dick. I don't trust a male comic that doesn't talk about this. Sure. But there is a theme of, like, if I were to suck a dick

or if I wanted the dick, do you think you would ever, I mean, you're on your deathbed, are you going to be like, I wish I would have tried. So I can add it. Would you ever? Oh, what? I think the question is if I would suck a dick. Yeah, because you talk about it. And I'm wondering if it's in your in your it's an it's an unconscious thing for you. Listen, I have no idea that we don't we don't consult on questions beforehand.

No, I'm so curious. Would you ever try it just to get it out of the way? Get it out of the way. You know what I'm saying? I think they'll put it right in the way. I just I saw a guy by the way squarely in the way. I saw a clip in an interview. Yeah, that they're like, you know, he's like, experiment.

You should try things. And he goes, yeah, I I blew two guys just to find out that I didn't like it. And I was like, too. I feel like you'd know after like what happened after the first one. Well, maybe it was just that dick. Yeah, that's maybe it didn't taste good. Right. And he was like, I got to try this again.

If you're going to try anything, you should try it twice. You should. I do think that. Yeah. And that's why I don't want to try it. Because I mean, second to. That's why. All right. Good point. No, I'm not like I will say this.

I I'm not afraid of it anymore. Anymore. I think I used to think that would be a nightmare. It would give me nightmares. Something terrible would happen in that because that's the way I was raised, you know. But I think that I mean, that's what my dad every day would tell me. Yeah, yeah, it's a nightmare. Look, this is how you learn to do this.

No, I think it's kind of I could take it or leave it now. OK, but it was like a bunch of foods I haven't tried. And you know what I mean? I've never been to Hawaii. Yeah, I got you. But I think it wouldn't be the worst thing if I if there was some reason. I didn't need to read any some reason. You know, this is not I don't think.

Just a beautiful dick. Nice one. Yeah, it's really nice. Yeah, I had when I was doing Lucky Louis. Yeah, I had a Rick Shapiro played my brother-in-law. Yeah, he's great, too. Well, so HBO came up to me at one point when we were doing the show and they're like, there's no nudity in your show. And there should be some nudity.

Yeah, because HBO back then was just a raw fucking. HBO was the best back then. Yeah, HBO was all about. You know, when I when I was a kid, HBO, there was no cable TV, but there was HBO. It was home box office. Right. Yeah. And it was the thing on top of your TV. Yeah.

It was just this sort of like woodgrain thing on your TV that got HBO. You brought it in just for one channel. And it was because you could see people said, fuck, there was sex and there was violence. And there was raw comedy and there was really great dramas. It's the best. Yeah. It was what it was all about. So anyway, so we were the only sitcom ever done it. Like, you know, we're the only live to cam, right?

Multicam sitcom. And so Rick was this really fucked up, east village, strange comedian with a weird voice, who I love so much. He's also been in most things I've made in Lunatic. He's really, yes, but he's also a calculated, excellent performer. You can do any voice. So he played my my degenerate, but he played Pam Pamela's brother. So anyway, HBO came to me and said, we need to see some, you know, I think they meant tits.

You're like, Dicks, you got it. I wasn't going to. It's not what Pamela signed up for. Yeah. And so I wasn't going to make her door even ask her. So, yeah, there we are. Jim Norton. And so I did a scene where I'm fully where I run through the screen

and my dick is out, unfortunately. And we did one where Rick comes out of the shower and he's he's wearing a towel like the way a woman does over it. So it's only down just on his thighs. And he's drying his hair and he stands right next to me. I'm eating cereal. And he goes like this and his dick is right in my face. Just wig waggling for like three or four takes that I saw with the audience right there.

And it was OK. It was OK. You didn't feel scared. Well, I thought if I if I licked that or just went like that, I could live with it. Yeah, yeah. Why do it? Why do I could do that to your finger also? Why would I do that?

I'd rather suck your dick than your finger. I think it's grosser to suck my finger. It is grosser. It's grosser. It's grosser. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm trying to think what would scare me the most.

Like what's my unconscious fear? For me, well, vomiting. I don't like vomiting. I don't want stuff. I hate it too. I hate vomiting. Yeah, I'm a phobia man. If I get food poisoning, I'll let it go into my bloodstream. Me too.

Yeah. I'd over just thrown up and ran it over with. Yeah, me too. I'd rather be like fucking sick like it's malaria. Yeah. I've actually taken pills to stop myself from vomiting. Like you can get it from your doctor. I didn't know that.

When I had the stomach flu so that it would go down and not out. Yes. So you end up shitting it out. It's the one. I'm afraid of the loss of control is what that well for me. I think that's maybe what it is. It's a terrible phobia of vomiting. Me too.

I have a horrible one. It's a really bad one. And also I don't want to do butt stuff. I think butt stuff scares me a lot. Scares you. Like if I had to think about like, oh, I don't want to dick in my butt. I think that they're putting stuff in my butt.

Right. Is what dick socks are for you. I don't want to put my dick in a woman's butt either. No. I started to. Yeah. Part way in. Only a little and then you release.

Yes, exactly. No. And this one was because of fear. Well, she said like, let's not do this. I think because she because I was hesitant. Right. That'll kill it. Yeah.

Butt sex, you need to go for it. So she was like, dude, you're a f***ing United. It was almost she was like, let's go for it. Yeah. And the relationship changed. She was like, I think she was a little less attracted to me when I wasn't able to just f***ing just. Shut it in there.

Ram her a** with her dick. Yeah. She couldn't do it. What are you afraid of? What's your like? Not butt stuff. You're not afraid of butt stuff. No.

No, I had this one angel. That's weird because you're married. You're not afraid and you are. Well, he's asked. I'm afraid of him putting like my hands in his beehom. She won't do anything with mine. Because it's so hot. Oh, you want stuff in your a**?

I mean, mouths, fingers, three dicks, you know, different stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, all that stuff is appealing to me. Yeah. I mean, I've played with a**holes, but it's been, you know, many, many years. I'll try. I'll try. There was one woman that I liked so much and I licked her a**hole a lot.

You have to really. Oh, so I was so in love with her and so attracted to her. And I just I would have done anything to any part of her. Yeah. And so I licked the f***ing a** out of her a**. Yeah. That's cool. One woman.

Just one lady, huh? Yeah. It has to be strong, strong feelings. She's dead now. Yeah. Probably from hell. Yeah. Yeah.

Huh. No. But so you like that and you don't, but you're married, but that's OK. You don't have to do it. You don't have to. Right. You don't have to. Right. Triarder.

Is there anything that you like that he won't do? Harry. No, he's he's he's DTF. He's the guy that licked her a**hole. Like he's you're down for it all. I yeah. How long have you guys been married? Thirty five, seven, four.

It'll be 14 years. 14 years. Oh, yeah. Almost 14 years. But together. It's together. It's together, 17. Yeah.

We made as kids, basically. Newbies. Open micers. Yeah. It's so crazy. Yeah. You guys have got a good thing. No.

I mean, I listen to you guys sometimes and it's one of those things. You guys are able to talk like you don't know each other. You are. You're able to ask like you just asked him. What are you? What are you? What do you like or what are you afraid of? You just asked your husband of 14 years.

I know. That's so true. Yeah. That's the thing about you guys. Yeah. I was listening to one where you were talking about school and about yours failures in school and you're asking him really. And you're like to still discovering each other.

Yeah. But that's real love. That's real love. Yeah, you think so? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's it's still this far in and you're still interested in curious. You could still do to you be in a go to a party and you'll be in a corner talking to each other.

Right. Yeah. Because I think when you stop being curious is when it's the death knell, right? Maybe. You're just like. Well, there's dependable also and there's all those things. But curious is important. And people are changing all the time.

So there's always something new to talk about. I think so too. Yeah. Yeah, let me show you something. Do you mind throwing those on for a second? Yeah. I just always wanted to get your reaction. You can look at I think it'll play on both, right?

Yeah. This is just fun stuff that we like to show people. Oh, God. This is a backup camera. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jesus. Oh, my God. Oh, let him lean on the car. Don't move the car away. Look at that. He doesn't give a fuck.

What? What? And then, I got to go. Yeah. Yeah, the indifference is like. He's the client. I think so. He's the client.

Yeah. He's checking his phone. He's looking at the car. He's looking at the damage on the car. Monster. They're different, you know? They're just different over there. They're different.

They show remorse differently, not with their eyes. They show remorse with their shoulders look remorseful. Oh, man. That's unbelievable. Also, the guy took the pain well. Pretty well, yeah. He could have shattered limbs, but yeah. Yeah.

He was under a bit of control there. He was. Yeah, he really was. I stepped on a beehive about a month ago, and I lost my mind. Barefoot? No, I was just walking, and then suddenly, they were on everywhere.

Holy shit, dude. And the crazy thing is, I couldn't see even one. I just heard them everywhere, and I kept feeling these wicked stings. And because I'm fucking bald, like on the top of my head a bunch. Oh, that would die. And they were finding in every, under my socks. And I was so upset.

I was running. I was just me and my dog. And I was running and slapping myself. Oh, my God. I was yelling help. I was literally yelling help. Like, who's gonna help me other bees? But I ran, and I was flailing and screaming,

and I tripped and fell, and my head was like this close to a rock, and I realized this is how folks die. Yeah, it totally is. It's just panic. Yeah. And I told, some other voice said, fucking calm down.

Yeah. Because I was like, I was gonna pass out from breathing hard. Yeah. Like a few steps, and I was winded. I run. I run like four miles a day. I mean, not every day, but when I run I can do four and four and a half miles.

And I just, and I was just freaking out and screaming. Screaming my dog's name for some reason. I was like, Rosie, Rosie, Rosie. And she was looking at me like she didn't, and finally she just ran away from me. Dude. And then I just,

whole hands trembling. I went into the shower and just, you know, with my clothes on. Jesus. And I just had red welts. Dude. All over. If you had hit your head and died too,

you would have been stung so many more times. Yes. You'd be like all swollen. Yes. Well, they're doing it to defend themselves and they die for it. So I think they would have been like, all right, we got them.

We got them, yeah. We got them. Let's go home. He fucked up like the fucking center hallway. God. Because I crushed their hive a little bit. But I lost my mind. I mean, I have no, I have no, I'm a pussy.

That's gotta be the worst story I've ever heard. Really? I mean, like, because I have a fear of bees too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a little kid, I don't, I hate that. That sounds like my worst, like just, and then add me having a vomit or something. Yes.

And then that would just be the worst day of my life. No, bees are awful. Yeah. And I love them. I love honey and I love what bees do. Yeah. And they're beautiful to look at and everything, but Jesus Christ.

What have you got stung by a bee and you threw up while you were getting butt fucked? That'd be like. That'd be something. I think you'd start to like that. I'd have to, I'd have to take pleasure in the butt fucking to dissociate from the other two things. Could you make a radical acceptance of that moment?

That might be rough. I think the vomiting might be my priority number one, actually number one. Like that would be so hurt. Like that would be all. That's a vomit while that's happening. Incredible. I had a confluence of problems that ended with a bee

because I had poison ivy that got on my, I went through some bushes and camp when I was a kid and I got poison ivy on my nose and it got swollen. And then it was like Carl Malden's nose. Like I could see my nose. Fuck. And then one day a bee landed on the tip of it and stung, stung my nose.

And then it got sunburned. It was like a million things. Jesus Christ. And it was just scar. It was scar tissue for like three weeks. And I was hard to go out. Like people thought I was a monster. I had a big just scar tissue nose.

And then one day I just went like this and I just all came off and I had no new nose underneath. Jesus Christ. Fuck me. It was about eight years old. Oh my God. Dude, your childhood was traumatic. That was that one thing.

Yeah. Between that and like your dad telling you how to fuck women. That's right. Dude, that's enough. Oh, by the way, I saw a, just on scrolling Instagram, a sex therapist. Yeah. You know, in doing a podcast who described exactly

what your father said. Oh, really? Yes, exactly. How to do it? Yes. And he didn't even have Instagram. No. He just learned it from a lot of Mexican fucking.

A lot of dirty Mexican Jewish fucking. Make them beg for it. I was wondering about how many women my dad fucked. Oh my God. My dad fucked a lot of chicks too. One time I asked him, it's a joke in my act, but how many women do you think you've been with? I was like, I was not enough.

Wow. And not only that dude, like he was, he was slaying a dick in the 80s at like the height of AIDS. I'm like, how did you not get... They divorced your parents? Oh yeah, when I was four. Yeah. And then he just banged his way through the San Fernando Valley

and then the Philippines and all these cool places. And you're just like, how do you, how did you come out unscathed? Yes. How did he, how did he, well, maybe he was scathed the morning. He's probably scathed in other ways. Well, like how? Emotionally, mentally. No, no, no.

No. No. Those guys don't feel... He don't scath, he scathes. Yeah. Well, that's true. He's a scathed motherfucker. No one scathes him.

Well, he doesn't let you know that he's scathed. That's the difference. No, no, no, no. He's not scathed. I'm not letting him have it. Yeah. No, no. I think Louie's right on this.

He's fine. He is fine. He's living his best life. Everyone else is suffering because of him. God damn it. Is that your say too? Some of us scathed ourselves with sex. You maybe do because that's what you're thinking about him?

No. I'm thinking about the guy that I know. I'm a self-scathing person. Yeah. Yeah. So everything I... At least in my past, sex was always something that left me feeling weird and upset and strange and guilty and stuff like that.

Sure. Not anymore because I don't have sex anymore. I definitely felt guilt a lot because of my intense Catholic upbringing. So I did associate sex with guilt for sure. Yeah. There's always that little thing in there. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. My dad was a real woman guy. Yeah. And I would see him... My sister and I were walking in Harvard Square once together. We were like going to a record store. We were both in high school, I think.

And my dad... We saw my dad and he had a arm around two women. Like gorgeous young women. Like college girls. And he saw us. He could have told any story. Yeah. But he saw us and he put his arms down like really fast.

And he was like, oh, hi. And then he had some nightmare of like these are... This is my son and my daughter. And I think the girls were like, ew. Yeah. And there was a whole thing. I don't know. He was probably like, you know, you fucked that up for me that day.

Yes. Yeah. That's... Yeah. I used to fuck it up for my dad. I would get the names of the girls mixed up and call like Susie Barbara or Barbara Heather. Sure. And then he would get mad at me.

Yeah. It's not your job. No. To fucking manage all that. I'm seven. It's not my fucking job. No. Why the fuck would you call her the wrong name?

You've ruined my date. Was your dad hot? I mean, to somebody, I didn't find him hot. I always thought he was, you know, gross. Yeah, of course. Now he's really gross. Yeah. He's old.

Teeth miscellaneous. Yeah, he's... Oh. Yeah. Christ. I mean, he might listen to this, but you know. No. This is another fun segment.

Son of a... Can you throw those on one more time? Yeah. I'll give you this button. This is also very New York. Because the guy who lived in New York a long time might like this. Okay. Black guys love to fuck and fuck good.

If you're a hot black guy, you want to fuck me at 23.95. If you want to move in, you can move in, but you got to fuck me. I need to be fucked a lot, man. Get rid of free food, free rent and everything else, man. Here's a deal, man. Men from jail, homeless, or you're a thug. You want to come move in? A friend can move with you, too, man.

Free rent, you got to listen to the key. Fuck me. Piss off. You beat me. I'm home now. You see me when I come over today and try it out. Try it out, man. It's in my building.

Try it out. You want to fuck a piss? Let me try it out. Seriously, play it only. Just fuck, man. I'm looking for hardcore guys. I mean it. I want to do it.

I want to deliver it. I'm a hot white trash. Come on, then. Let's fuck. There you go. New York. Wow. Isn't that great?

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's kind of beautiful. Yeah. That was like romantic. Yeah. You know what the wildest thing is about this?

Yeah. He puts out this message. We're in awe of it. I mean, obviously you are, too. Yeah. I mean, it's so direct. You know, it's so. You want to piss on me?

You can get free rent, at least in a key. Yeah. Piss on me, beat me. Bring your friend. If you're homeless. Yeah. You're just out of jail. You got a friend, him, too.

He puts this out and like, one of my first thoughts, I was like, well, this guy's definitely dead, you know? He's dead by now. That's what my first story was. He's gotten well fucked. Well fucked. No, here's the sadder story. Yeah.

Ain't nobody answered. Well. Nobody answered. It got him nothing. We watched this video. That's the saddest thing. We would play it. You guys are like, hey, go fuck this guy.

Maybe watch this video for like a year and a half. We know. We've been talking about him for years. You found him? Yeah. And we talked to him. And yeah, he's, he makes his own hats. He does.

Yeah. He gave me a Barbie. Where does he live? 2095 Wagner House. Oh yeah. I was going to say, why obscure the address? Let him get some fucking business out of this. We put it out a lot.

It's between 124th and 1st Avenue. Yeah. Oh, way the fuck up there. Like Spanish Harlem. He lives in Spanish Harlem. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah.

Yeah. Sure. That's fucking the note. I can't believe you're still in the same city. Yeah. That's the fucking 1972 where he lives. Yeah. Yeah.

That's bleak fucking 124th and 1st Avenue. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You know, the RFK bridge and all that shit. And it's just. Yeah. Wagner houses.

I mean, this video, and we watch a lot of different videos, but this man captivated me and really captured my heart and my imagination for years. He's really fascinating because he's, this is what he wants. Yeah. And he's saying, he's just like, listen, man, it's all these things and it's anything you want. And just fuck me. I want it.

I want to be fucked by somebody who's hardcore, homeless. Yeah. Yeah. Here's the thing is he's reading. It feels like he's reading it. Oh, wow. Rounding it up. Rounding it up.

Or he's like one of these kind of beat poets who's like, round up. You know what? Fuck, go ahead, man. I'll tell you. I'll tell you why it feels like he's reading it. Why? Because he says it so many times. He says so many times.

He repeats it. It's a mantra. It's a mantra. It's completely beat up. He's the same thing. He always gave his full address, always gave his full phone number, always was like, piss on me, beat me, fuck me. Did he tell you anything about how often he gets responses?

He's like, eh, it's not as good as it should be. You'd think you're just fucking putting it out there. Yeah. Yeah. There's no hitches in this deal. I could go fuck that guy. You could go fuck that guy. I could.

I could piss on him. I could just tell him, I could say, meet me in the lobby of your building. I got to take a leak. I just got to take a leak and it might as well be you. I'm glad you could just leave. And you leave somebody covered in piss in a lobby. God damn it. It might as well be you.

It's the greatest phrase. I've been holding on to this piss for like 30 minutes. Just come downstairs. Just come downstairs. Take it all the way to Spanish Harlem. Fucking cab from the Four Seasons on 57th Street. It just might as well piss in your mouth. Mustache.

His mustache gets all soaked. But that's the thing is that you think that the earnest plea would get some traction, but it doesn't. And why does it repel versus attract? Why? I mean to me this seems like a good method, but why is it failing? The saddest thing about life at its hardest is that this guy gets no business for this. Right.

It's the saddest thing about life is that all he wants something, he doesn't really want those things. Right. He's just like somebody, something, give me something. Yeah. I swear that wasn't his first ad. No. His first ad was like, love to meet someone who likes movies.

Yeah, yeah. Love to meet somebody who's like space ball, but from home. Yeah. I want someone to finish the Sunday Times crossword with me. Who knows the things I don't know, but appreciates what I do. And then he got this fucking silence, this horrible silence. And then he was like, I am adventurous sexually. The next one was like, I am adventurous.

I'm willing. I'm willing to try things. So if you're just looking for sex, okay. Okay. It doesn't have to, we don't have to do the crossword. Just do that. And then nothing. And then he was like, and then it many, many thousands of times finally it's just like,

suck my fucking piss on me. If you're, I don't care if you're fucking homeless out of jail. Bring your friend, black guy, big black guys. Fuck me. Piss on my face. I'll meet you downstairs. You don't even have to come up. What?

This is just. The escalation. All he's given it. Yeah. He's just like anything. He's opening up as wide as possible. I just want someone to talk to me. I just want to be looked at.

I don't want to be invisible. But that's the problem. It speaks to loneliness really. It is. It's the most people's lives. It's just, he walks around and he goes to the bodega. He says, how are you today? And the Korean woman goes like, what do you want?

Yeah, yeah. Nobody talks to him. Yeah. Oh fuck. That's how desperate life is. Yeah. That's so sad. Yeah.

I wanna cry now that I left. I know. Welcome to your mom's house. It's so horrible. That makes me so sad. You've had the full wire magic experience. Congratulations. I really have.

Fuck them. It's really fucking sad. It is fucked up and sad. And also funny. It's very funny. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. Yeah. And it's so sad.

Yeah. But you're right. So the problem is is that the net is too widely cast. And too desperately cast. But he has no strategy. Yeah. He tried it. Exactly.

He tried it. The very first first dad was like, you know, maybe I'll like you. Yeah. Right. Nobody wanted to try. Oh, God. That's most people live like that, man. You know, in New York, there's a like, there's a big homeless problem.

I mean, in LA too. Oh, yeah. And the thing I see more often than not is that they stand in the middle of the street and they just go, something, something. Yeah. Yeah. Something, please. In this world, how can I be so invisible?

I feel like some of it is a reaction to people falling into these fucking strange, these rectangles. Yeah. This thing that the whole, I mean, if you walk down the street in the village, it's just a bunch of people going, going like this, and it's cliche to say it now, but it's just this. And it's a very, did you ever watch Doctor Who? The like the new version of it, Doctor Who?

Mm-hmm. It's just a, every episode is like another alien came and did something to the human race. And it'd be easy to see a Doctor Who episode where they just gave, they somehow they talked us all into these rectangles. Yeah. And I think it makes people lonely that don't, that aren't living that way. I think these guys on the street, they're used to at least getting some, nobody's looking

at them. Right. They're like, you know, there's no cash. Yeah. I don't get cash. Nobody has cash anymore. Right. And everything is in this digital realm.

So there's no, they're really, they're really like, they really are, we've left them all alone. I feel lonely when I walked down the street. Like my feeling when I look at New Yorkers is like, I miss you guys. Yeah. You know, the shittiest version of when you're, what, fuck you. You know, I miss that. It's just this now, even cops and like construction workers, like just, there's no, there's no

more cat calling. Yeah. Because they're looking at a better looking girl in here. Yeah. They don't need to look at your ass. Yeah. Walking by. It used to be that was just, they just sat there like somebody might walk by.

Yeah. She might have a little, and by the way, you're not that good looking. Yeah. It's just that she's a woman. I might say something. She might turn her head. Yeah. I might get a smile.

I might get a fuck you. But hey, something happened. We're all, we're talking. We're in each other's lives. Yeah. I saw everybody's shut down. These are harder than two girls one cup videos. These are harder than that.

I know. Okay. No, let me see this one. Okay. Here we go. If you've had any kind of erectile disorder problems, I'm here to tell you, forget about vagra, forget about salads, forget about dick and plants and all that stuff. So I don't know if you believe me or not, but if you like to see me smoke some antlers

with a small limp dick that don't get hard in the end of the way and watch it get harder and harder and more I smoke, harder my dick gets, it's unbelievable. Your dick head becomes so sensitive that you don't need lube, you don't need spit. You just stroke that dick head this up and down four times, just barely do it, and you will shoot an enormous amount of very thick, thick, hot white gum. My brother didn't believe me. When he smoked with me, he put out his dick, I can't believe how big a dick was. He jacked off in four strokes and shot the most cum he's ever shot in his life.

He's only 49 and he's fine, he has no neuropathy problems at all. No what's problems? Neuropathy. And thicker and even more cum. He believes me now. Brother believes me now. I want to see me go from a limp dick to a hard dick, I will do it this weekend and I'll videotape it from this small dick, very limp.

I'm watching, harder and harder, that's the proofing factor, right? Let me know, then borrow me a bit, if you say yes, I'll show it to you. We get it, yeah. No, but he's, this is like an act now. Yes, it is. It is like an act now. And his brother, I don't know if you caught that his brother pulled it out in front of him, you caught that, right?

Yes. Okay, yeah. No, no, that he watched his brother jack off and cum. After four strokes. Yes, yes. And his brother didn't believe him. Is it? How far still?

He's like, come on, have some, what is he smoking, meth? Yes, meth. Have some meth, his brother's like, hey man, I got a job, I'm doing okay. Yes. It'll make your dick hard, fuck you. Yeah. It will make your dick hard. Man, get off that meth.

I got a real good reason I'm doing it. Look at this hat. Come on. And then his brother smoked some and went, holy shit, look at that. And now they're both meth addicts. Yeah, with hard dicks. Hard dicks, it's thick, it makes your cum thick. Thick, thick, very thick.

Is that a positive? Is that something men want? Is thick cum? Is thick cum? I don't know. I can understand why you want it. I mean, usually if you're backed up, it might be a little thicker, you know, you kind of, you build up a little reserve.

Yeah. It's like a meconium, you know, the early milk. Yeah. Hot thick. Before you get to the, yeah, I don't know. I think to, you know, to prove it to your brother's a cool thing though. I like that. In so many ways.

I like the helpful, he has, again, you get to somebody's essence, you know, you get away from like, he's a meth addict to me. You get to the thing that he wants you to have a good time, he wants to show you how he does it. He wants it. Yeah. He's sweet in this. I think he's endearing.

He wants to say, I'll show you. Just let me know and I'll show you. Yeah. I'm telling you, and I understand your skepticism. My brother didn't believe me either. My own brother. Holy shit. That's the analysis.

And so you just want me to, I just want you, and the thing is, I got a weird thought while I was watching it. It reminds me of, what's her name, Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg, how they do stuff together. I could see Martha Stewart with a guy like this, and then she's like, and here's another great tip from Henry on how to shoot some very thick cum. And then she's sort of like kind of, you know, giggling at his, yeah, see the two of them and like he's a stoner and she's a cook and they have a funny thing together.

You could see that guy being with her and her and like, oh, he likes his math. It's going to start small and limp, isn't it, Henry? That's right. It's going to start small and limp. Yep. And then it's going to cook that math. And also what always strikes me is the urgency of the message because if you listen, like, I feel like he's in a restroom of a restaurant or a busy place.

Like he has to. That's right. He is, I don't know where he, no, I have a feeling that's home. That's the set. I do think that's the corner. Look at the corner up there and that there's a gap. The ceiling is coming away from the fucking wall. It's a dry wall box with one coat of primer, not even painted.

It's not the Four Seasons for sure. It ain't the Four Seasons. No, you can tell by the corner. Look at that corner of desperation behind him and with that little gap and that hat, that fucking hat. I know I like it because it doesn't quite have a shape like it is a shape. It's like a ski hat that got washed a lot, but it's cut, too. Right.

Turn it into like, it's like a. The rim, the seam, like the elastic is kind of gone and worn from it. Yeah. Yeah. And the sweater is like a, he's wearing a scarf, I think. I do. I mean, I don't, I would like to see him come. Like to see it if it's like as intense as he describes it to be.

After this, you know. Well, the thing I don't understand is the call to action. I'm not sure. Yeah. Like what, what, which is the term I'm learning from the internet, you know, what is he asking us to tell him? We want to see this. I'll do it this weekend.

He's asked. Yeah, he's like. I mean, is he, he's like this weekend. Right. This is not, you don't want to do this all the time now that you've discovered it. I will be doing it this weekend if you want to see it. And then I'll send you the video. Yeah.

Yeah. And obviously he has a hard time otherwise coming. This is important to him. Yeah. Because he usually takes some seven, eight strokes, four strokes, four. That's pretty amazing. That is amazing. Yeah.

It is quite an endorsement for math too. It is in a very specific way. Yeah. I think that there's, you know, if you sold that like, like a drug on the, you know, television sold out the, well, but the list of the shit that, you know, the bad stuff for math would be that guy talks really fast. Open wounds. Yeah.

Falling out. Yeah. But a guarantee. These are all guarantees. Yeah. Some people have experienced. Yeah. It's like everyone who takes this has experienced loss of entire income and all family members,

loss of self-respect. But you'll come super hard. You will come. You will come in four strokes, thick, hot, come. But how many guys out there would be like, yeah, it's fine. Sign me up. As long as you can get more math, math, I think is terrific. Yeah.

As long as you can get more. Yeah. That's all you need. It's really the problem start when you run out of math. Yes, it is. That is. Well, that's when you become a problem to other people. Yeah.

Yeah. But if you have your math, you're not fucking. But this guy just wants to, he just wants to help you. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't even, he's not even saying you should smoke math. No. He's saying you want to see this.

I'll show you. I found this. I want to share this with you. Yeah. That's such a good point. Yeah. He's not even trying to ruin your life. No.

Yeah. And he's soft-spoken. Yes. It would have been the thing I really wish this video would have at the very end, just his brother dipping in and being like, yeah, he's like four. For real? Yeah. No, there is this, these guys on YouTube who talk soft because they're talking, there's

nobody there with them. Yeah. There's a certain feelings that I've heard this voice one other time. The first time I heard a voice like this is from a very weird source. I went to the Richard Nixon library. I like presidential libraries. And so his is in Yorba Linda, California, well worth going. And they have, he did dictate it a lot.

He used a dictating machine. So he would dictate letters and stuff that he wanted to write. And so they had, you could listen to his dictophone and you could hear him dictating, talking. That's cool. And he's just talking like this and he's, you know, a period paragraph and he's just saying to the secretary of the treasury, I have some concerns. And it has this weird quiet, nobody else is in the room with me talking when no one's in the room.

And that's with these YouTube. There's a bunch of lonely YouTube guys like this. Oh yeah. They're talking to you and they're saying, I want to share my feelings with you. Yeah. But to be fair, none quite like this. No, this is exceptions. It's so fascinating.

People are so interesting. Fourth of July. It's available at LouisCK.com. You will come after four strokes if you watch fourth of July. There's also extra features. We did me and Joe did commentary on the movie. Love that. And we did, there's deleted scenes.

I'm glad that there's still, that used to be such a great DVD feature. Yes. And then when you stream a lot, you go like, sometimes there's no, I like the extra features. I do too. I always do. Especially when a movie really hits you, you want to learn about. You want to learn everything about it. But one of the scenes that's on the, and you can only get it on the, if you buy it, that's

on the deleted scenes is Louis Gomez. Do you know Louis Gomez? Yeah. Yeah. Skanks. Yeah. Yeah. Legion skanks.

Legion skanks. So he, we did a scene that we didn't use where Joe, Jeff, the character, he's sitting in a car. He's a very nervous guy. It's about a guy who has tremendous anxiety. And so he's riddled with it. That's part of the reason he goes to confront his parents in New England and it doesn't go well.

But he's sitting in a car at one point and he sees these two guys, tough guys, black guys. It was supposed to be black guys. Yeah. Louis and I. But in the script, it's like black guy number one and black number two. Yeah. But anyway, so there's on the corner and he's just, it's making him nervous looking at just

because they're tough guys on a corner and it goes into his mind. And then suddenly they're on, and it's a fantasy he's having, but they're on his car screaming at him, trying to get in the car. And Louis Gomez punched his way into the, he cracked the windshield and peeled it off of the car. And it's a great scene, but we didn't use it because it just was too much. Yeah. That's a tough thing, right?

The decisions of when to not use things. Yeah. When you have to cut, you can't think about like that took a long time and that even how great you love the scene, the scene is nothing to do. You know, if it's not fitting, if it's not part of, you know, if it's hurting things that happen later, if it's not setting up what you want it to, and you don't know it till you see it. Yeah.

So you always shoot stuff you don't use. Always. Yeah. I'm excited to finish it. I'm halfway through. Halfway through it. Yeah. No.

It's like a series of, yeah. It's like a Game of Thrones. It's a Game of Thrones thing. No, but it is really. And you watch the whole movie. You should watch it. I can't wait to watch it. You can get that at LouisDK.com.

You can get his FX show, Louis, and you can see Louis on tour, touring all over. I had my two new specials. Some of your people might not know that I have. That's true. Sincerely. Sincerely from 2020. Yep. And sorry from last year.

Yeah. Fantastic specials. Thanks. You can get all my specials for 25 bucks. There's seven specials. You can get them all for, yeah. That's incredible. Brilliant.

Yeah. Good stuff. Go and get it. Laugh. You'll laugh your ass off. Thank you again for coming, man. Thanks for having me. I had so much fun.

Yeah, this was a blast, dude. Thank you. Thank you. We'll see you guys next time. Bye, meow. I just wanted to say hi. You are so beautiful. Good morning, Julia.

It's me, Joe. Mwah. I hope this video doesn't scare you. Good morning, Julia. It's me, Joe. Good morning, Julia. It's me, Joe. I will love you like you've never been loved before.

Good morning, Julia. It's me, Joe. Good morning, Julia. Good morning, Julia. Good morning, Julia. Good morning, Julia. Just sit in my mind when you said to me you want to go back with your ex-boyfriend. After you experience me, you won't even know who your ex-boyfriend is.

Please erase them from your memory. Don't ever go back in the past. I could see me falling in love with you. Let's go full throttle. Full throttle. Full full full full throttle. I like that. I like that.

Full full full full throttle. Good morning, Julia. I really like that. Good morning, Julia. Full full full throttle. Full full full throttle. Good morning, Julia. Good morning, Julia.

Good morning, Julia. Good morning, Julia. Good morning. Good morning, Julia. Good morning, Julia. Good morning, Julia.