Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 678 - Steve-O - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

To get Steve-O's new book or to see him perform comedy, go to https://www.steveo.com/ Welcome back to the Mommy-Dome with Tom Segura and Christina P! We start the episode with admiring Tom's new hair transplant, a cool guy not a fan of American women, and we try to connect with that lady with bad teeth! Then Tom talks about how much he loves the Netflix show on Jeffrey Dahmer, shares some cool artwork of Garth Brooks, and we talk about the Baldwin's 7th child!We then welcome back stuntman, podcaster and comedian, Steve-O! Steve-O talks about what it was like to to film Jackass Forever, a stunt he's been upset about for over 10 years, and writing his new book. Steve-O then talks about CTE, aging gracefully and all the stunts that got him banned from certain places! We then wrap up with showing him Horrible or Hilarious clips and Christina's TikTok curations. https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

We're all worried about your head, but what about your balls? I mean, you've been stapling them to your legs. Now, is there a technique that you have to preserve the skin? Do you know exactly where you can do that? It's all about skincare. Yeah. You know?

Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. You know what I'm saying, you know what I'm saying? Honestly? You know what I'm saying, Mike? You know what I'm saying? Like this norm fat man. You know what I'm saying, you know what I'm saying? That same French excellence.

You know what I'm saying, Mike? That's the mayor of norm fat. Yeah, he wants to be the mayor. Here we go. You know what I'm saying? That's me. Like this norm fat man. Please, please.

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying, Mike? You went under the stand this? So good. What's up, feeling fresh? You're really flaunting that new dude. Yeah, you don't happen like a little over a year ago. Yeah.

I paid about $37,000 to have a hair transplant procedure done. Yeah. And I just wasn't happy with like the style, the look. They could actually manufacture the hair color, everything. And I don't know, it just made me feel insecure. I wanted to look that felt more genuine to me. And so what I did was I went back there and I was like, give me options. They made me pay another $38,000.

No. Well, it was worth every penny. You look stunning. And I think it's the exact perfect shade of dark brown that it really washes out your complexion, gives you that nice pasty look. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah, it feels good.

It feels right. I think it's a really cool, just like a style. Like if I naturally could grow full head of hair, I think I would do this. So that's why I did it. Well, it's kind of cool because I feel like you're a trend setter in all ways. Like people know you for your shoe style or just for your clean clothing. Yeah. And now this is, you're like a trend setter.

And I think people are going to start cutting their hair like Tom Segura now. Yeah. Some people will like stop me and they were saying, you know, oh, you know, no country for old men, you know. And wasn't it Shagor, like the character who's like... Javier Bardem. Yeah. He's like, call it.

Yeah. Call it. Do you feel lucky? Like all that. And I'm like, yeah. I mean, I get it. I have Iberian heritage. And he does look cool as fuck in that.

It's so good. Yeah. Well, but yours is a modified. I think what you did was you took Javier's look and then you gave it an 80s twist. You're also a little stranger things. Right. Like you're, you know what I mean? Like you kind of put a new twist on it, which is really cool and fresh.

It's a fresh take. It is like the whole thing is everybody's like, you look like... You look so good. People are actually coming up to me and they're going, what did you do different? Yeah. You know what I mean? Which I know that some people have that if they get a good facelift. Like some people go like, did you just go on vacation?

You look so rested. That's kind of nice too. It's kind of a cool look. Similar to the Javier Bardem look. It's so good. It really frames your face. It really like frames it. It's really nice.

You making fun of me? Never. Okay. It just is so, it's so surprising. Well, I just, here's the thing. It just changes you, you know. I don't care what anybody, what your walk of life is. When you feel confident about something, it's really nice.

You're going to like the way you look. I do like the way I look. I'm up to like 73 grand right now. Oh, and hair plugs. Yeah. Well, that last look was really neat. This one's way worth it. Yeah.

You're going to keep this for life, right? Absolutely. Yeah. You'll never see me lose this look. Are you ready to open this show? I'm so ready. Let's go. Let's go.

Come on. Let's be honest. American women are fatter than ever. And it is disgusting. Now to be fair, American men are fatter than ever. There's no doubt about it. But the American women have taken it to another level. And it's time that we bring back fat shaming.

Yes, I said it. And I don't give a shit if you don't like it. Because being nice about it is not changing things. Fuck yeah. Yeah. I was right. Don't bring anyone loving to this. Yeah.

Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Mom Segura. Oh, wow. Look at it go. Go, go, go. Oh, oh.

Oh. Yeah. Get it. So good. So good. Yeah. Yeah, dog. Yeah.

Feels nice, right? Women are pigs. Yeah. Chicks are getting fatter and fatter. And what's up with that. Ever. It is so gross. But it's cool that guys call it out, you know.

It is disgusting. Because I mean, it's like for so long women have been getting a hall pass on their appearance, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now it's like, it's time to bring awareness to like, chicks need to doll up. Yeah. That's true. We've been allowed to be pigs for so long. I would say that as a society, I'm not saying as a society, people have gotten really comfortable with being really out of shape.

Like society has been like, it's look, being 400 pounds just kind of happens. Do you? Yeah. Well, I think too what we learned with our sports illustrated model, like accepting it now as a thing. Like you can be fat, we're not going to shame you. No, it's great. We're going to celebrate it. It's all pretty.

Yeah. Like just do you, bro. Well, it's like, you know, I don't know that there's other countries where you can go to so many stores and be like, I can't, it's hard to walk. And then they're like, take a Scoot Scoot. Take a Scoot Scoot through the store. I know. Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot, Scoot. Like that.

Or Vegas. Oh yeah. Man, you're like, this is so scary. I feel like if you arrived in Milan and you're like, ah, walking's hard. They'd be like, yeah, just sit then because we don't have. They don't accommodate that. Yeah. We don't accommodate, you know, do you mean how you need a wheelchair?

Like you're late. No, no, no. It's just walking's hard. You mean your handicap? No, I'm super fat. Yeah. You know, remember when we got fat in Africa? Yeah.

When we were eating steaks at like midnight every night for two weeks? Yes. And we just had to buy like. The biggest pants in Africa. I had to find, yeah. Yeah. I had to find like a US 10. Yeah.

And I couldn't. Remember, we were like. I went to the department store. We couldn't even find it. And I was like, what's the other side? Next, this is the biggest size we have. There's nothing bigger than this. This is the biggest size we have.

Yeah. And they're like, there's nothing larger in the country of South Africa than what you're holding right now, sir. I was like, eh, that's not good. And we went to their Walmart. We did not go to like, we went to the place where fat people go. Where fat people go. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Holy cow. Are you really? In China. Yeah. When I went to China to buy clothes, I was like, double XL please. And they're like, uh-uh.

I was like, what? And they're like, here, here's what you'll fit in. Yeah. It's like a five or six XL. Whoa. Yeah. If you, if you also, the other people that'll get you on that is like European stuff.

Yeah, your stuff. You go to like a really high end Italian designer stuff. It is not cut like American stuff. Oh Prada, they don't make size eight, bro. Like it's six and below. I bought a t-shirt from one of those very nice Italian men's clothing companies. I was a four X. I was a four X last month.

I don't mean like when I was at my fattest. Last month, they're like, I was like four X. They pulled it out and it just felt like a regular, like an American large. I know. When I went to South Korea years ago, my titty size, they don't even carry the bra that I would need in South Korea. It was fucking crazy. Well, yeah.

Well, yeah, what? They got hungry little Korean titties. Is that what you're trying to say? I'm trying to say you don't see a lot of big old Korean milkers. No. No. But like, why are we so much bigger than them? I don't know.

We should mention that we moved, we switched our chairs out. Yeah, we did. Yeah. We're just fucking. Well, with new hair and new chairs. Who dis? Yeah. That's what they say now.

I don't even have that chair no more. No. Well, how are you going to, we got to flail your hair. Does it feel so good to have hair? I'll be honest. I use some of the money we got for the chairs to buy from my hair. Take my hair. Those were nice chairs.

Like $10,000 a piece. But Tom, doesn't it feel nice to feel the wind in your hair? Oh, it feels great. It's been a few years. I feel like I'm 15. It's fucking fantastic. Do you want to see the rest of what this guy says? I do.

Yeah, he sounds great. It is pretty inspiring. Now look, if you want to kill yourself, put the bullets in the gun, pull the trigger. Stop eating yourself to death because you're a coward. Or get your ass on a fucking treadmill and do something about it. I'm going to report you. This is horrible. No, you're going to sit there and take it.

Or you're going to change your life and fix yourself. Otherwise, you're going to be in an early grave. And to be honest, it makes me sick. Makes him sick. I think he's walking through an apartment complex. Yeah. It's kind of an interesting choice to make it there. I grew up in one just like that.

His neighbors are probably like, oh, there's Kevin again doing one of his vids. Just walking around. He yells at his camera. Why do you think he's so mad at fat chicks? I don't know. Maybe that's the only one who's paying attention to him or something. Yeah. He's like, I want you.

Maybe he went out. Maybe he's like, I got to find a girl and he's gone out a few times and just seen overweight women or something. He's just like, the fuck. Man. Yeah. Chicks. So sick of these fucking huge bitches.

Yeah. But it is true in Europe and where Peru and stuff, don't they fat shame the shit out of you? Oh my God. You can't be like immediately and they don't do it kindly or gently. They're like, you are getting very fat. You know that? And you're like, mm-hmm.

They're like, you have to lose weight. It's disgusting. I'm going to die. Why do you have breasts? Yeah. They're very aggressive. They shame you really quick, dude. All my European relatives are so skinny.

And also they do it at like 10 pounds overweight. You're really fat. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In France, I don't know if I've said this before, I was reading that book, French Women Don't Get Fat and you have to go to a specialty store to buy size 10 and over. They don't even carry it.

In regular stores. In regular stores. You have to go to like the big and tall outlet type of thing. I mean, there is a really good case made for shaming people. Well, it works. So that's what I'm saying. In France, they're wasting years. You're like, I want to go to regular stores and they're like stopping so fat then, pig.

I just want to shop where everyone shops. Do you remember Manuel Uribe, the world's fattest man? Of course. I mean, he's dead now. Yeah. But remember what he said? He's like, I come from Mexico. He's like, I was there my whole life.

Yeah. But then I came to America and I found cheeseburger, pizza. We made this guy fat. America made this guy fat. Yeah. He ended up weighing over a thousand pounds. Poor baby. And he started in the States.

He came over. He was like 260. Yeah. And he came back 330. And then it just went up from there. But he had nice teeth. Look at those chompers. He did have that.

And he had a real joy about life. He's like, I like to dance. I like to go out and feel good. I know. I miss Manuel Uribe. I like brushing my hair. Yeah. He brushes his hair.

And he's like, I feel good. I look good today. He had like a really healthy outlook for somebody that shouldn't. Yeah. And his girl took good care of him. Remember, she powdered him like the Didi stuff. Oh yeah. She powdered his bean bag.

And then she was like, he likes to eat. And I just have to feed him. Yeah. Yeah, that got no choice. I got to feed him. He's always hungry. No shit. This guy.

God, I wish I could be that fat. I wish I could just let myself go. Like if I could pick one thing. Yeah. Where you just, you're just allowed to do, I don't know though. What would you choose? Heroin or eating? Oh.

I get there's no consequences. Would you dissociate with food or with heroin? Well, eating like a fucking pig and having no side effects would be pretty fucking amazing. So good. It's more useful to the rest of your life. Because you can still live the rest of your life normally. You could pair with stuff. Heroin definitely feels better.

Like heroin is the shit. And I would never talk bad about heroin. I know. But I don't think you can do much else. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like your whole life shuts down. Everything shuts down.

Which again, cool. I'm cool with that. Yeah. But your kids would really hate you. They're going to hate you. They would grow up hating me. Yeah. And I'd be like, fuck you.

You didn't judge them. Yeah. Yeah. You just inject heroin and then forget about those bad feelings. Forget you guys. Do you remember, I don't know what the story is here though. We saw this lady a little while ago. Hey Instagram.

My friend, you've never freaking been on ever before. And this is me driving home. You're in the Mesa. Kirsten. Yeah, there's a lot going on Kirsten. There is a lot going on. If you're listening, that was her introduction video. And she has a couple more than a few missing two-fees.

Yeah. The two-fees are not all there. Yeah. But she has like a positive kind of vibe going on. Well, she likes fun. She lives out in the desert. She's got that cool golf cart. I got fascinated by that.

Yeah. And if you went to her Instagram page, yeah. You know, she's posting more stuff. What's the latest post? What's that one right there? It just says, wish to be luck. Where's she going? Does it say?

Not saying. Brain. Brian. Brian. Is that the second word? Teeth. Oh. Oh, awesome.

Okay. So go to the actual, the page, the GoFundMe part. Yeah, yeah. Confidence. She's looking to get, she's raising money. Okay. Trying to get 15 grand to pay for it. Anyway, we, I don't know, I just stumbled on this.

I saw this and now I'm just super curious. So we're going to call her. We have her number here. And. Hey, sorry, I missed your call. Please leave a message. I'll call you back. All right.

She gave two numbers. Okay. That's a. So far, so good. I think I know how this call is going to go. On point. This is usually how this begins. Something about the cool circle that we find.

Yeah. It's always like, it's never just hello. Yeah. It's never easy. It's like, we got to call back 10 times. Yeah. Oh boy. Okay.

Let's see. And it's not like it's a surprise that we're going to call her. She knows the time. How you reached your phone. Yeah. Okay. They always know. Okay.

Hey, but, but not out of character. I mean, we. No, it's spot on. Consistent. Yeah. Nothing if not consistent. We did at least get the right number there. That was her phone.

We did. And we. Either call me or Steve. I'll have one of them on me. Okay. Yeah. Makes sense. Makes sense.

I'm just curious about, it's funny cause she is, you know, wants to smile and feel calm about her teeth. I just got new hair. I just feel like kind of a connection. Yeah. You're feeling like a makeover vibes. I feel makeover. Positive.

Good for you. It's nice. Feels good to have good hair. Yeah. Can I tell you what I did this week? Sure. Where you were gone. Little, our, our younger boy was sick.

And anyway, we're, we're watching television in the master bedroom. Oh, you're not supposed to say that anymore. The master. Oh yeah. It has, it has slavery connotations. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, main bedroom.

The main mommy room. The primary. The primary. And so we were watching, anyway, the remote stops working and I flip it over to the other remote. You know how it is? Like when you have, TV is so much more confusing now. Now that things are super like developed technology, TV is not just like, usually it's like pull

a thing. Yeah. Like now it's, you know, they're like, there's no buttons left on the TV. You're like, well, how do you, how do you do it? And they're like, just code it right. I know. Yeah. So whatever, it's the weekend.

I'm tired and I just give up like the kids sick. I've been dealing with him all weekend. I don't even, I don't have the energy. So TV stays on. So essentially I go to sleep with the TV on because I do look for the, the manual switch, but because our TV is, is positioned just so as Leo would say, what does he say? I'm built in such a way. And he's built in such a way, the TV that there's like a box and I can't even reach

my hand behind it. Yeah. Okay. And I give up. So I fall asleep with the TV on all night. Like, and then it's, it's, it's going to the island. It's going to Scotland. It's going to whatever.

It's bright as shit. It's bright as shit. The kids sleeping next to me like, mommy, can we turn off the TV? I'm sick. And I'm like, I don't know how I'm so sorry, baby. I go, just cover your eyes. I put a sleep mask on. Like I've, I've surrendered to the television just being on.

Yeah. And it stays on for like two days. And the next night I'd wear the eye mask, mommy, it's bright. And then finally I have this idea. I'm like, what if I mean on a weird thing? What if the remote control is just low on battery? And I change the batteries and it fucking works. And I feel like the dumbest.

Thank you guys. I'm the dumbest human that ever lived. I cannot believe I did. I put my sick child through it too. Where you're just like, I can't like, I couldn't muster the energy. I've yelled at the remote before. Fucking stupid fucking thing. Well, I know you have.

Yeah. I've watched it and I've been like, I'm out of here. I'm just going to tiptoe away. I got to figure this shit out. I changed the batteries and I'm like, oh. Oh. Yeah. So that was amazing.

And then I had another, I had a Pajitski effect. I had this similar one you did a while ago. So I was going on trail hikes now around Austin and I did one. And I was like, oh, this is like way short. This is too short. I got to go find another trail to get on. I'm sorry. Is this too exciting for you?

The story? Sorry. I yawned. I'm sorry. This is my lifestyle. Oh, stop. So anyway, I'm on a trail and I'm like, this trail is too short. I should go find another one.

And then I was like, oh, I could walk the same trail like two or three times. Just like when I walked up the hill and I realized I didn't need to find a bigger hill. I could just walk up the hill again. Yeah. Yeah. Stupid. And then Sean was like, you walk it up, up it like 10, 15 times. And I was like, oh man, that would suck.

And he's like, right. That's why you could do it. Yeah. Yeah. So that was pretty cool. Yeah. I will say this. Yeah, that was that was pretty cool that you discovered that.

Yeah. Another thing that's pretty cool is that Dommer series on Netflix is pretty fucking rad. And I know you stayed up until midnight last night, really into it. Trying to get through it. Midnight. And you were watching it, you noticed quietly so that you could really enjoy it. Is that what was going on? You're doing the closed captioning.

Yeah. Well, yeah, but also I got to the episode where he kills a deaf guy. So yeah, there's a lot of closed captioning in that one. That's kind of neat that he killed a deaf guy. It is kind of cool. It is cool. You know, I got to say he was rascally if you're going to like his whole life. Oh boy.

You know, as a killer, he got one thing so right. What's that? I mean, the shittiest part after you kill somebody is you have to deal with a body. That's the hardest part. And people are always trying to, you know, dispose of bodies. Yeah. You know, you got that Shawcroft guy, Green River kill. What do they do?

They dump the body into a river, right? Because what are you going to do with a body? And the fact that this guy had the forethought and the really the courage to dismember these bodies, dissolve the skin, then he would put the bones in the oven so they would dry out and then beat them with a hammer so they'd turn into powder. So as far as like getting rid of evidence, he was so good at it. The problem was he couldn't part with the fact of like not keeping some sort of trophy. So he was, then he started to keep skulls, femurs, genitalia, hands.

How does he keep the genitalia? He cut it out of the guy and he kept it in the refrigerator, like the last one that they found. And so it must have been kept at like a, I don't know, some temperature. Maybe it was wrapped in something too. If he were able to part with those mementos, when that cop came in, when he, when they came in because the man had Cleveland, I think had returned and said, what did this man tried to kill me? And they found Polaroids. That's how he was eventually found Polaroids of bodies being dismembered.

And they realized that it was, they were real photos. If he could have not had that, if he didn't have trophies in the house, he would have been able to do this forever. Yep. And I'm sure he regrets that. I know. You know, and I, and I think in your mind, I wonder, I'm just curious, if this, if this is a story about a guy who just wanted to live life his way. Oh, he definitely did.

Yeah. And everybody was just like, no, you can't do stuff. No. Yeah. You know, and he's just trying to do his own thing. He's saying, let me do what I want to do. Yeah. Yeah.

He knew what he did was horrible though. He knew he had, he had awareness because he would bring it up to that, but hold on before I go, before we go here. What's interesting about these guys, they always get caught revisiting the scene of the crime because they always want to relive it, right? Some guys, some. Yeah. And then this too of keeping the moment, the memento. Yeah. Momento, memento and a diary.

Like this is why I don't write stuff down because you don't want people to know. You just got to enjoy it in your mind. Yeah. Keep it in your head. Keep it in the head. He told, I over, I did wake up. It was really neat as I was sleeping and not feeling well to wake up to parts of Jeffrey Dahmer talking to his dad or whatever. And he would try to tell his dad like, hey, I have these weird thoughts.

I have weird feelings. And the dad was like, gay stuff? Yeah. Yeah. I think they were just worried that he was a homo. Yeah. Before anything else. Let's not talk about that.

He's like, no, they're pretty dark. Yeah. Yeah. The show, people should know this though, as with all compelling, dramatic, good television. It's not 100% accurate. That's a real bummer. I know. It's a dramatization.

Yeah. Like for instance, Dahmer's neighbor, the one they depicted in the show, smelling the smell through the wall. She didn't live next door. She lived down the street. It wasn't like that woman was a different, you know. I like that you know all these details and you're like a purist. You're like a Jeffrey Dahmer purist. And you don't like when they mess up his story.

Give me the real deets. Well, it's just. I get it. No, it's important to know because people can watch a show like this and think that every moment is fact. Yeah. You don't want that. Because it has a lot of facts. No, it does have a lot of facts.

But things are, you know, it's made to be compelling television. So it's just one of those things where if you, if you, sorry, the Cleveland name was the neighbor. Yeah. Yeah. So. It's like when I watch my show about Elizabeth, the Queen of England, I know the real facts. Then they dramatize it and I get a little upset too. I'm like, that's not true.

She did not have lovers. You know what I mean? She was in fact a virgin and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad you have an interest.

It's a new, it's a fun show for you to be into. It's Ryan Murphy. He does, you know, I think he did the American Crime Story stuff. Those were all great. The Simpson one, the Versace one. I want to say Netflix gave him $300 million. What? Has an overall deal.

I'm pretty sure. Dang. It's a, it's pretty crazy. They just knew it would be a hit, huh? Yeah. God damn, 300 million. Well, it's clearly bringing you and many people a lot of joy. It was, it's been the number one streaming show on there for a minute.

Sure. Yeah. I mean, if it didn't give me horrific nightmares and fear, I would watch something like this, but I think I'm very susceptible to like. There's a lot of, I don't like it. There's a lot of great dude bodies in it. Oh yeah? Yeah.

Bath houses and stuff. Yeah. Oh, that's kind of cool. Yeah, because it's like the gay scene, you know, so. Yeah, they're all so much, so much hotter than straight guys. So much hotter. All the, all the bodies are ridiculous. I know.

You know what's funny? My, my. One of my. Craziest thing, by the way, is that when he, he takes that guy, he drugs a guy and then he wakes up because he had drugged himself accidentally too. And he wakes up and he didn't realize that he killed the guy in a blackout. He's like, oh fuck. LOL's big laugh on the show, huh?

Yeah. He beat the fuck out of the guy in his blackout. That's pretty crazy. I don't know if you guys noticed the lipstick I'm wearing. Anyway, my lipstick came in. Christina P's perfect shade of red. I'm wearing it now. It's fantastic.

Yeah. Trot out if you're interested. I love it. It doesn't dry your lips. The shade is impeccable. The quality is perfect. I love it. It is truly the perfect shade of red.

Dahmer didn't know. Oh fuck. If what he had done that night was really something that he had done. You know, because he just had no recollection of it. It's one of the only murders he doesn't claim. Well. He says he must have done it. Right.

This is in real life. It's on the show, but it's in real life. He said he must have done it. Right. But he's like, I have no recollection. Well, it's like, yeah, if you have no recollection of it, did you enjoy it? You didn't really do it. You know what I mean?

You have to have some recollection and enjoyment. He had memories of all the other ones. Yeah. And the first one he did claim in real life as in the show that it was an accident. Oh, please. No, really? That he cuts off their dicks on accident? No, no, no, no, no.

The first, the first time he killed somebody, it was like he had picked up this hitchhiker and took him home and there was, he basically was trying to hit on the guy. The guy, I don't think was gay. He got into some type of argument and he hit him with like a weight, but he wasn't like, I am, I am trying to murder. Like he lit, he just like hit him and then was like, oh, fuck. I just hit this guy in the head with a weight. And, and then he was like, you know, he accidentally fucked him up.

And then he's like, oh, shit. And then he realized he had to dispose of that body. This was, so this was like a good, oh, okay, I can do this. You know, it was like, you're, you're capable of more than you think you are. Right. It is kind of a triumphant story. In a way it is. I think I can.

I know I can. It's like, you ever see like these disabled people that run marathons and you're like, how the fuck did they do that? It's mind over matter. Mind over matter. And he realized he could get rid of that body, you know, and then he started to do it more for fun. Yeah.

I mean, you have to imagine the desire is so strong to actually act on it, that horrible impulse. You really have to be so driven to do it. What else is proud is like really unique because this would have made you throw up. Okay. Is that the smell. Yeah. The smell of decomposing flesh is so, I mean, repulsive, repugnant and just you cannot mistake

it. Everybody who is works in like crime scenes, police, they all talk about just how horrifying and how the smell stays with you. It like is burned into you. People who have discovered bodies say the same thing. It's like, you know, we are programmed as human beings to have the smell be alarming. It's alarming. It's supposed to make you go like something's happened.

I don't want that. Yeah. And he would just have decomposing flesh in his apartment and home and just be like, making eggs, la, la, la, and just be like able to live like that and like something in your brain has to. Make his dick hard, right? Well, I don't know that the smell did, but it did make his dick hard to kill people and fuck their body parts.

Sure. Did he have sex with the men before he killed them and then after? Usually not. Just after. So he would drug them and strangle them and then like lay with them and then dismember them and then like, you know, like fuck their chest cavity or their hands. Wow. I didn't know that.

Yeah. He's a wild dude. That's wild. Yeah. Your everyday guy. He would do their chest cavity like a bloody. Oh, yeah, he loved the blood and he would fuck their body parts even after they were severed.

How do you watch this? Like, how does this not upset you? This doesn't upset you? It's like great. No, you're so hot. Oh my God. Like, I'm glad you, I'm glad it was the deaf episode because I don't want to hear any of this.

Oh, the deaf one is really sad. This is terrible. Because they really kind of bond you to that, to the deaf character. Yeah, thanks. You know, like they give you his back. They don't just like introduce him at the club. They show you him as a baby. Oh boy.

And then they show you him like kind of talking about his dreams and aspirations. It really, they break you down on that one. Brian Murphy. Good job. Yeah. You want to call Kristen back? See what she's up to? Dude, okay.

Hi, you've reached your chin. Very cool. This is all set up, right? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe she changed her mind, you know. Yeah. People do.

Maybe she listened to this podcast. Yeah. And was like, I don't know. Well, I know that you love serial killers. I don't love serial killers. Oh, okay. And I was wondering if you saw the someone sent this to me that I look like a really cool girl.

I don't know if you would bring that up for me, native. Okay. I mean, I do think I look a lot like this chick. Myra Hindley? Yeah. You heard of her? Oh yeah. I mean.

Hold on. Ready, Tom? Yeah. Eastern European, I think. She's English, but she was the more murders. They killed children. She and this dude. Yeah.

But I mean, we share an aesthetic. Definitely. It's so weird. What does this say there? The one up to the left there says admitted she was. Oh, she understood right from wrong. That's what they say. Oh dear.

Okay. That's good. It feels good. You guys have kind of a. Oh yeah. I mean, someone usually people send me things like you look like this person. Same. I'm like, no.

You're like, no. This chick and I are, yeah. You know, speaking of. Geez. Yeah. Have you seen the fantastic artwork being done? I was sent some and I was so blown away by the talent out there. These are, I guess somebody is saying that they're doing Garth Brooks artwork.

Oh wow. That's really nice. Look at that. Isn't that something? Can you see the page through it? Wow. Look at that. Yeah.

If you're not watching this show on YouTube. What? I don't know. Is he singing in his hands there? What is he doing? But. This is great artwork time. That one is.

Wow. It is. It's very cool. Whoa. That is really tip top. That's my favorite one. That one's good. The teeth and the look in his eyes.

It's so disturbing. That one's cool, Tom. Yeah. Really good. Oh. I got friends. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Oh, the teeth are neat on that one. So is the hand. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. But these are very unique. Very. I like that one.

He's eating a chip or something. Yeah. A bloody chip. It's nice. Any wrote. Very unexpected and upsetting. 10 out of 10. Yeah.

It kind of ruined my day when I saw this. It did. Yeah. It's ruining my day right now. It's very scary. Yeah. It's genuinely terrifying stuff. And I feel like it's a real peek into that guy's head.

Which guy? This guy? I don't know what's going on. How you doing, everybody? I'm sure, pal. Yeah. Yeah. What?

That's really neat artwork, Tom. It is kind of cool artwork. Did it freak you out, too? Yeah, I saw it. I was like, oh, cool. It looks like Tom's having a fun time. Very disturbing. It's like these just look like just so many extra layers of skin.

Like something went wrong during pregnancy. Like just defects. Just defects. It does. That one is so upsetting. I can't believe I liked this. I take it back. I do like it.

You do like it? Well, I liked it when you showed me yesterday on your phone. You were so excited. You were like, hey, sweetie, look at this cool art. Yeah. And these weren't exactly the ones you showed me. You showed me some sillier ones. Like he's just pudgy and naked and stuff.

Not the blood. Like you didn't show me this. This is burn victim, Garth. I don't know what the fuck is going on. It's great. It's cool artwork. That's all. I'm trying to imagine somebody going like, hey, Garth,

they have an art exhibit honoring you. It's in a big New York city place, too. He's like, well, me and Mrs. Ewer are going to go check that out. And then he walks through and he's like, see, he's like, what the fuck is this? And they're like an artwork about you, man. It would be great if we could put together, what is like an art show?

Yeah. And like make these and make a big stink like a publicity thing about it and invite Garth. That would be really fun. Would you like to see art that is just honoring you? Artists who are a huge fan of yours. It's just shit like this. Oh, my God.

Yeah. He'd be like, there's kind of a weird theme going on. That one is, that one is, that one is just the pubic hair with no genitalia. Or is it a vagina? It's just like a heavy pub. And the blood. I don't know why you had to incorporate blood in every single one.

I, because like, can I tell you, I would, I would LOL more without blood. I feel like the blood. I think that's where we're different. Yeah. That's where I know we're different. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah. It's fucked up. Remember when, yeah. It is definitely disturbing. What if you had to tell your parents like, hey, I have these messed up feelings. Like I want to, I want to like not only have sex with dudes and then I want to cut their bodies up

and fuck their chest cavity. Yeah. He said in later interviews, he was like, I was having these thoughts at like 14, 15. Yikes. Yeah. And he was like, they were so horrifying that I knew I couldn't share them with people.

Sure. You know, because they would be like, well, why, why and when? And he was just like, these were cooking in me for a while. He knew. So he knew. Yeah, obviously he concealed it. He knew he was fucked up.

Cause how do you, like as a parent when your child comes to you, like how the fuck are you supposed to be like, sure. Okay. Well, I love you. And he had this real old school Christian upbringing. Plus it was like the 80s, right? Well, 70s. So homosexuality was not well received yet.

Yeah. They were just like, you're a homosexual. Yeah. That would be the leading story versus the I want to fuck chest cavities. Right. Yeah. I mean, gay.

And people were mortified of like, you know, they're like, just, look, you need to pray more. All right. Could you imagine? Oh, I took a pee really bad. Okay. I drank a lot of smoothies. God, this is so funny.

And you peed. I did. It was really good. I pushed so hard and it all came out. Do you feel like it's time to maybe, you know, give a huge congratulations to a. Yes. Yeah.

Who Ilaria Baldwin had her seventh baby with Alec Baldwin. Good job. Yeah. Yeah. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. And like, I know you're not supposed to judge people, but I judge.

It's a lot. It's a lot of kids. So crazy. Dude, he's so old too. Like how? The new one? Yeah. I don't know.

Something Latin probably. Yeah. Of course. Oh my gosh. What about D'unito? Dream team. And to Roshu. Roshu.

Oh, that's the photographer. Oh, oh, oh. We don't know the name of this new guy. I mean, she really just cranks these out. She's been pregnant for over an entire decade. I feel like she announces them and has them so quickly. So quickly. But I know she had a surrogate on the one before this.

So she gave birth to Ilaria Catalina, Irina Baldwin. Wow. Okay. Well, Catalina Ilaria. I mean, Ilaria is like the very, this is all very spiky. You know. Super spiky. Yeah.

And she started her life as Hillary from Boston. Yeah. And now she's at Ilaria. It's fucking wild. It is wild. Also, here's my prediction. This is what I was going to tell you. Yeah, go ahead.

My prediction. Yeah. Not done. Not done. No. I promise you. You know why? Yeah.

I think she is a little bit like, not a little bit, very much addicted to making babies. Oh, yeah. And having them and the whole thing and the, like the show that goes with them. And I think she's going to have no, that poor bastard, he's in his 60s. The guy. I know. Right? Alec is in his well.

In his 60s. Yeah. No, he's probably 70 now. Isn't he? No, but he is. Good place. He's 64. 64.

That's tough. But I will say, because I, I love her account and I follow her very closely, is that she really loves the process of pregnancy. That's what I'm saying. I don't think it's going to stop. She wears stilettos, nine months pregnant for date night. She's always doing leg lifts. She's 38.

She's got another couple in her. And planking, you know, eight months pregnant. Like she's really devoted to this process. But I mean, the thing they never show is like, how many nannies do they have? They've got to have nannies on nannies, right? There's no way. They have help for sure. There's no way.

They definitely have help. He ain't doing anything. He's 64. I mean, he's out working. He's shooting stuff. I know. So I'm saying she is not raising this kid. Yeah, people too.

Yeah. No kid. I mean, I think he just settled the lawsuit with the, did he, did he get out of it? I don't know. Criminally, I know that I think the suit was settled. That's terrible. That whole thing, man. Oh, it's terrible.

Can you imagine? Yeah. Gosh, I wouldn't be able to sleep for the rest of my life. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. He fucking shot somebody. Killed him.

Zoinks. Yeah. I feel like, I feel like he's going to, they're going to have more kids. Yeah. What's going on there? How do you think he, he can not, I mean, you. He's 64, which means when his, that one that was just born goes to high school, he will be 82.

Oh my God. If he's alive. If he's alive. But at the time he's in kindergarten, he's in his, what? Yeah. Seventy. Yeah. It's very, it's very old.

I mean, you and I are old parents. We're in our forties and we have a four and a six year old. It's exhausting just having two. You know how loud our house is? It's so crazy. They fucked that house up so quickly. So bad. And so badly every day.

They just put a hole in the wall downstairs. If you put four more, they did. Yeah. I went down there and I'm like, who the fuck put a hole in this wall? They just like threw something down the stairs like a toy and it ricocheted and it hit the fucking wall. And there's another hole in their bedroom wall. There's two new holes.

Yeah. That's two. That's two kids. Crazy. Two boys. Two boys. You had seven kids in the house though. What are you?

You don't sleep. I mean, we barely sleep and we have like two kids that are out of infancy. If they get sick, forget it. Then that means you not only, you know, when one kid gets sick, they all get sick. So these guys. Not so many he has always in it, but he also has a child with a ambassador basing or however you say it. Yeah.

Yeah. Man, I don't know how this woman does it. That's old stuff. As a woman, the postpartum era is like the worst. Like for me, it's the worst. So maybe that's why she just goes right back though, right? She stays in it because she must enjoy that hormonal like up and down or I don't know, dude.

To me, it's the worst time of my life was after having a baby. It's got to be a certain point where these kids are all going to be like, you know, in school and she's going to be like, holy shit, look how many kids we fucking made. Like she's not registering it, it feels like, right? How many kids total like that Alec Baldwin had one before and then he's had seven with her. His wild dude. That is wild.

It's wild to do it at that age. It is fucking crazy. Yeah. It's definitely a choice. Yeah. He's still busting nuts though. Yeah. Yeah.

That Baldwin sperm is strong. Strong. I love watching her exercise eight months pregnant. It's the fucking craziest thing to say. Some people can just do it, man. Do it. She looks great. She had real quick right before we go to lunch.

Let's call. Oh my God. Let's call her again. It's just so we can be consistent. It'll be a good way to take our lunch break. Okay. Okay. Hi.

You've reached your destination. I got excited. Give me a message and then we'll be back. She knows. She's doing it. Well, I'm glad we set that up. Yeah. We're going to go have some lunch.

Okay. We're back with our guests. We are back and we are happy to welcome to re-welcome for the second time, the great Stevo, everybody. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Thanks for coming, man. Yeah, for sure.

Thank you. You're welcome. I was struck by your numbers, how fucking successful you guys are. Oh. It's really good, man. Thanks, man. We were, we've been nerding out because we, it took us a while to get, like, it's been a while now, but we were telling you, we just saw finally the last jackass that came out.

That's so good. Is it Jackass Forever? I forget what it's called. It's called Jackass Forever, yeah. Dude, it is so fucking funny. I forgot how hard I could laugh in a movie, you know, because I, a lot of comedies, like, you know, standard scripted comedies that come out, you're like, yeah, that was all right, or it had funny moments, but you laughed so hard while you laughed.

I laughed really hard the first time I saw it. It's so funny, man. The silence of the lambs bit, where like, I laughed so fucking hard at that. I thought you were going to say, that's the hardest you laughed in a movie was silence of the lambs bit. But I was like, all right. Like, everyone's a good different taste. Yeah, you had so many fucking hilarious bits in this thing.

And you had, and you integrated, that was a tough thing. You integrated new people, like, you know, kids in their, I guess, 20s or 30s, maybe. Yeah, I think everyone's in their 30s. But the dynamic is like, it really worked. It did. And let me tell you that, number one, when I heard from Knoxville on what was, I believe, a group text that he was actually looking to make a fourth movie after like 10 years. Yeah, so long.

There being no jackass. I was probably more shocked than anybody. I was so, so thoroughly convinced that the ship had sailed, that it was done. And I was like, man, I'm glad that I really put some hustle into getting my own stuff going. Yeah. And then all of a sudden Knoxville was like, hey guys, you know, I want to do another one. I want to get the band back together. Wow.

And I was so shocked. And then the next piece of information, when we all got together and met at a restaurant to kind of talk about it, and they said, we're thinking about bringing in, you know, fresh blood, like the younger people to freshen it up. Yeah. I can tell you that of all of the supporting cast, not one of us loved that idea. Well, of course, it's so, it's horrible. We were like, wait, huh?

Dude. The fuck? And not only that, the fact that you could find Rachel Wolfson, who I'm a huge fan of, and she hung with you guys. She was great. So wonderful. Yeah. She was so perfect.

And you guys, you just crushed it. Eric Andre and... I don't know the Eric. Eric Andre was more of a cameo situation. But that was a great cameo. Oh, yeah. And it was, what do you call it, like an aggravated cameo. By the way, I wanted to ask this, when you're filming, because you know how in life, if

somebody fucks with you, it's kind of a natural reaction where you can go with it, or obviously, people can react angrily, right? I mean, if somebody pranks you in some way. Sure. And you shift over when you're filming. So I remember like one of these, one of the bits, or one of the things is you're just leaving your trailer at one point, and like, I forget if it was like a football or something, just like rockets at you.

It was even more, it was even more invasive. I was leaving the shitter. Yeah. You know, like Eminem, Eminem had like, it was like hyperbole in the Eminem song. He's like, you're waiting outside the bathroom, and I'm taking a shit. It's like precisely that, except to assault you. But you roll with it, right? Oh yeah, I loved it.

But is that, is that, is that you every day? Or that's you with these dudes in this context? It's context. It is, right? Because I feel like I would lose my goddamn mind. You know, when I lose my mind, and it happened like two days ago, like someone just reaching and grabbing my nipple and twisting it. Like a stranger?

Yeah, a stranger. People do that to you? Yeah. Like that, just that is, just at the top of the heap of shit that pisses me off so much. You know, it's like, it's like, wait a second. I just stopped to take a photo with you. And like, actually it was, it was even worse. I stopped to take a photo with someone else.

And then because I stopped, like, you know, that people start like, it looks like a, like a fucking zombie movie. Like you just like, there's always zombies walking towards you. And it was just someone who took advantage of the opportunity because I was stopped to come over and do that. I was like, I said, you know what, fuck you for doing that. You know, I was pretty chipper about how I said it. You know what?

Fuck you for doing that. That was super not cool. So is there also, because I've worked on television shows before, I worked on a show where I picked up hitchhikers. Oh wow. That's cool. And for some reason, because there was cameras rolling and it was a TV production, in my mind I was like, yeah, I can't get hurt here.

Like is there an element of that disbelief when you're making this movie of like, hey, how bad can this really, you know at this point, right? What you know what's funny was that it was the third movie that I got sober for. I was not sober for everything through the second movie. Because we were, you know, preparing to shoot the third movie, now newly sober, and I asked for the first time in what was over a decade, I think at that point, I said, hey, what happens if somebody gets like really, really like permanently injured or killed? And I was like, you know, is there like insurance or the, and they said, oh no, like a standard

workman's comp, like applies to that, workman's comp kicks in. Cool. Yeah. And was that like 3,200 a month? You would imagine that like, my asking that question that I was like, you know, a new responsible guy, but I was like, oh, workman's comp, okay, like, I don't understand that. Like, onto the next one. Yeah.

I'm no better informed as I sit here today. Dude, the other bit that I also love that you guys incorporated was you had that one of the new young guys, this black kid and his, and his dad, his dad was like hardcore. Right. That fucking, those, every time you guys incorporated him, it was just, it was dark shock. Dark shock. Yeah.

That was. Yeah. Damn. That was so funny. The kid is Jasper. Jasper. That's his name. And, and he came into it, he came into it through Tyler, the creators.

Oh yeah. He's like part of, part of the odd future cast, which made a television show with Dick House, the production company behind Jackass. And this MTV show is called Loiter Squad. Was it MTV? It was something else, but they made a show called Loiter Squad and, and, and, and I think a lot of people affectionately referred to it as black ass. Okay.

Oh, black ass. It was kind of like that. It's amazing. Dude, the way he introduced his father to, like as a character, he, I think he goes, he says something like my dad's from the hood and he doesn't like anything that's not like hood shit. He's like, anything with like animals, he's going to not react and it was like the perfect setup.

It was. And credit to, to Jasper because I think they needed that as a pickup shot too. Oh, really? Yeah. It was, it was perfect, man. Yeah. So many funny bits. By the way, I just saw Instagram the other day where Pontius breaks a bottle over your

head. Oh yeah. What the fuck are you doing? I was like, what are you doing? That looks horrible. There was a, there was a comment on that Instagram post. It said, CTE has entered the chat and the crazy thing is that that first one and it doesn't break.

And then you're like, do it again. You got to hear that, dude, that's where it broke, but let it replay so you can hear it. I'm ringing. My head's ringing. Yeah, dude. It's okay. It's okay.

Now you're here. I'll tell you the motivation for that. Please take me through the whole motivation. That was a recycled clip. So it wasn't, we didn't shoot this the other day. This is something that I had been sitting on. And there was something that was really bothering me since 2013 when I, you're having clear thoughts.

When I started my YouTube channel, one of the first videos that I put on there, I put up two at the same time. So I launched the channel with a video called Stevo versus Beer Bottle. And in this video, Chris Pawney has broke a beer bottle over my head. First try. And everybody said it was fake. Like I mean, literally the comments were just there like, fake, fake, fake. And I'm like, I don't fake shit.

You know, I'm like, I've always maintained like, if I do see you. Yeah. No, it's your brand. I mean, it's one thing. It's not to say I would never do a sketch or anything. What I wouldn't do is deceive my audience and make them think you did something. Yeah. Once you, once you deceive, if I ever deceive my audience, then everything I've ever done

is going to come into question. I'm not willing to do that. So it's just been bothering me. It's been bothering me. I was like, let me do it again. You know, let me do it again and like to really find a way to impress upon people that wasn't fucking fake. Thank God, by chance, it didn't break the first time.

And if that's not going to show you, this has been stuck in your cross since 2013. I totally get this. It makes more sense. Right. So fired up. I never thought I could see someone doing that in video and have an explanation. I go, this is reasonable. I feel like I do.

How fucking bad does that hurt? I mean, it seems I mean, it, it's not good. You don't want to do it all the time. So I left a lump, I'm assuming, too, right? You left a lump. Yeah, there's definitely a lump. How you're able to fucking move around is always fucking. Yeah.

Now, I'm less concerned about this one because because this was sort of an isolated one, you know, like when it comes to CTE, the concern is not like as much like the big, heavy ones as it is like, like the little things, the accumulation of thousands of them. Sure. Football players are having trouble these days. There's so many hits. It's like so many. Right.

And man, do I regret this one behavior I had like, like when, when Jackass first came out and it came out in year 2000, October of 2000. So we just celebrated 22 years. And in spring of 2001, very shortly thereafter, I started this, this don't try this at home tour. It was like, it was born of just a random public personal appearance where I was paid to show up at a nightclub. But when I found myself at the nightclub, I was noticing a stage and I was like, oh,

there's a stage I'm going to go get on the stage. And I got on the stage and just started doing fucked up shit. And like, you know, like, like a thousand or so people came over to the stage and just sat there and watched me do fucked up shit for like an hour. It's amazing. And I was like, oh, okay, well, I guess, I guess we should have a show and make a tour. And so we started booking this, don't try this at home tour where, where the idea was for me to perform strictly stunts that were not allowed on, on television.

And I promoted the tour by saying, I will be drunk and on drugs or your money back. Yeah. Yeah. And I forgot what the fucking point was, but, but, but I, I started, what were we saying before that? I was a star. Oh, yeah. The upsetting behavior as part of this, don't try this at home tour.

Every fucking show, every show was, was upsetting. Like I'd break a light bulb over my head. And with the, with the broken glass, I would, I would slash my tongue and bleed all over my stuff. And those pictures, you see them covered in blood every night covered in blood. Then I would chew and swallow the glass. What? Wait a minute.

No, no, no, don't just gloss over the, so you swallow glass. Does it cut up your esophagus? You're, you can actually, I think, swallow like a pin and you're going to be okay. Your body's like pretty good at accommodating shit like that. But then do you shit out? And the idea too is that you chew it up into sand effectively, which is terrible for your teeth. It's like chewing and swallowing glass.

It's like a side show circus thing. Mostly it's just bad for your teeth, but I would, but I would do that. I would do that every night. I would do that every night. I would staple my ball sack to my legs. Yes. These are, these are all the little dings then. Yeah.

Right. Like the dings to my head though, my entrance on that tour every single night, I'd walk out with either like two 12 packs of Budweiser cans or like a 24 case suitcase. And I'd walk out to the Slayer song and, and roughly when the song broke, I would take a can and like bash it against my head until the can exploded. And then I, and then I would take out two can throw a couple cans out to the audience and then I would take a can in each hand and go back and forth and it would visually look pretty cool when the cam broke on my head, like spraying everywhere and I'd be like drinking

it and holding it up and, um, but that was like hundreds of hits. Yeah. Like, uh, I mean, probably as far as little dings, like I would say at least 50 per night and I would be really aggressive. Now what's worse when I started to extend up in sobriety, there was a period when I went out and did that with fucking carbonated water. Oh my God. And it got to a point where I would like wake up in the morning and get out of bed and kind

of be walking sideways because I was like, this is not good because because of what you've done and because you are, you actually have this awareness of it. Do you find yourself like monitoring your own, you know, like mental capacity and like your, you know, I mean that the breaking cans on my head out of everything does make me nervous. But you haven't, like, do you go and like, oh, I'm going to get neurologically tested. I've been. I mean, I think everybody knows that you can't identify CTE in a brain, you know, without the person having passed and opening up.

They just have signs of it. Right. Right. But with that said, I went to some kind of a brain specialist who hooked me up to all kinds of machines and said that my brain looked good, which seems like it seems like a kind of an idiotic. You know what the crazy thing is though, like in football and the NFL, there are people that have like clear brain damage, right?

From playing. Oh, yeah. And there's guys also who had 10, 12, 15 year careers who are complete. And you're like, how? And it's like, because we're all different shells and we're going to not all respond the same way. Dude, so crazy that you say that because Tony Hawk told me at one point, I don't remember how it came up.

We're talking about CTE, but he said, man, I heard that there is a particular gene that some people have, which makes them predisposed to developing Alzheimer's disease. And apparently that specific gene is linked to risk for CTE. Makes sense. Like if you don't have the gene, then you're not necessarily in the clear, but you're way less likely. Yeah. And he said, as soon as I found out, I went and got the test and he said, and I didn't

have the gene. It's like, oh, and I remember like kind of coming away from that, thinking, okay. And it was just like, like eating at me a little bit. I finally reached back out to him. I was like, hey, Tony, what were you going to do if you did have the gene? You know, like, like, because we already hit our heads. Yeah. The fucking, he was like, oh, I didn't have a plan.

And I was like, okay, well, I do. I have a plan. I'm not getting that fucking test. You have to be scared more. That's my plan. So, I mean, we're all worried about your head, but what about your balls? I mean, you've been stapling them to your legs. Now, is there a technique that you have to preserve the skin?

Do you know exactly where you can do that? Because I remember you talking about this on Stern like 15 years ago. So it's all about skincare. Yeah. You know, I mean, we've got podcast sponsors for this. Do you ever wait until they're hanging like, because like balls can go tight and loose, right? Well, okay.

The stapling of the ball sack to the leg, it typically would be more painful on the leg. I think maybe not. I mean, about the same, but it wasn't ever too crazy. Jesus Christ. And wait, how was it? So do you think you're just more, you don't feel pain as much as? Oh, no, I feel pain.

I'm just such an attention whore that my overdeveloped need for attention outweighs my desire for comfort. Gotcha. Super helpful. The hard kick in the nuts is what I've learned from a lifetime of terrible pain. Terrible decisions is available everywhere you can buy books. I hope that sentence is in there. It's not.

You should reprint. I'm sure it is. Yeah. I make it very clear that I'm going to rabid attention whore and that that drives me into everything that I do. What made you do the book? Was it like? Well, I had my first book was a traditional memoir, came out in 2011.

My proudest thing I've ever done. I would say it's really, yeah, it was really, it's just really a great book. And as all the time passed and the, the first book got older and older, you know, I got to a point I was like, man, you know, I ended up reaching out to my literary agent saying that, you know, it's been 10 years since my last book and the 10 years have been properly fucking crazy. Like I think I have another book in me. The response from the agent was, sadly, memoir part two is not a thing.

And so what you need to do is figure out like some kind of a format, some kind of an angle. And I said, all right, well, for what it's worth on my new tour, I come out on stage and like the first thing I say is like, Hey, everybody, I'm in a fucking shitty situation. I'm a stevo in my 40s and you know, it's like, it's a laugh and the idea of confronting middle age is like at the forefront of my conscience, consciousness. So I said, maybe I'd make it a guide to middle age. And that was sort of what, what got us started with it. Then I thought, well, you know, I'm like Matthew McConaughey, like I get older, they just stay

the same age, you know, like my audience is so much younger, like why would I alienate my audience? Why would I alienate my younger audience by making a book about middle age? Like that's silly. It broadened to a book of general wisdom, wisdom gleaned from a lifetime of terrible decisions. And it's basically just a vehicle for, for me to spill out like just how fucked up my life has been for the last 10 years.

And you know, assigned to it like, you know, some, in some cases, like arguably genuinely wise fucking takeaways. Sounds like a great gift book too. Yeah. This guy has made a lot of bad choices. I want you to read this to your kid. Yeah, it's basically like 90% like, wow, this guy's fucking nuts. Yeah.

Like 10% he might have actually learned something from that. Well, what did you learn? What's the biggest? I mean, you, you've arguably done like you've done everything. So what's exciting to you now? Well, I mean, there's those are two very distinctly different questions, you know, like what have I learned? And I think that like every chapter is kind of addresses a different thing.

The first chapter for, for example, is don't be afraid of dying. Be afraid of getting old. Yeah. You know, like that, like getting old is way fucking scarier than being dead. Yeah. Like if there's any problem with being dead, we've all got a pretty bad problem. Getting old too is like, I don't know, like this is kind of semantics, but it's like being old is different than aging.

You know what I mean? Like seeing the number tick up, you see, but there's people who are in their seventies and eighties that like live life. There's people who turn 60 and accept that I am going to downshift into the casual pace of like being old and then they just don't really enjoy life anymore. That seems scarier to me for sure. And it gets a lot scarier than that, like for me, particularly because I'm such an attention whore, you know, like to be to be like the center of attention

is just so like important to me. And we live in a society where old age is kind of a party foul. You know, like elderly people serve as a reminder of your mortality and people want their blinders on. They don't want to think about their mortality. So we've got this, the system by which we just chew old people away into nursing homes so that we don't have to look at them. And I think, wow, like for me to be elderly and an attention whore, God,

is that fucking scary to need to want everyone to look at you, but nobody wants to look at you. You're like an aging hot chick. For sure. They're hot their whole life. And then like, how do you deal with that? You know, what a scary example, you know, what a scary example. So I talk about that a little bit.

Like there's a lot of that. And now there's been a recent development. I had Kevin Smith on my podcast, and I was articulating to him like this terror that I feel about, about getting old. And, and he was completely in phase. He said, um, now I can think of people who were old and, and remained edgy and cool. He says, George Carlin, you know, right there. He says, Steve, I can picture you getting old and being kind of like George

Carlin, still like crazy and cool. And, and I actually, I fucking latched on to that, like a drowning man latches on to a life preserver. Yeah, yeah. Well, it is a good question because you like right now I'm on the TikTok and I follow Madonna and there's somebody who was like the hottest shit their whole lives. And now she's entering the latter part of her life.

And that's like, well, how does one maintain rock stardom? How do you continue to do it? And is this the right way? You know, you have to find your way, like what's going to work for you. And it's, uh, it's, it's tough. Yeah, it's tough. Are we disparaging Madonna? No, no, it's, it's, hey, potato, potato, like I, she's the queen of it all.

And I'm, I'm looking at her for inspiration. Really. Is this, is this how it is done? I don't know. And I'm not accusing you of being disparaging a Madonna. I just, I just think that, that it's really, it's like what I think is scary. And this is not pro or con, but that Madonna seems to be an example of someone who really still craves the spotlight beyond a time when it seems like it might

make a lot of sense to do so. That resonates with you then, right? Right. Big time. But then how, but, but maybe there is a way I'm saying to maintain the spotlight. But what I think her approach is like, I'm going to co-opt what the really, really young kids are doing and just do it at my age. And to me, I don't think that necessarily works.

Because what Carlin did, if you're, if you're keeping in that line of thinking was I'll keep creating my art and performing it, but I'm not doing it for. It's, it's coming naturally. No, in other words, like it's this next hour of thoughts and ideas and opinions. And here they are, but they're not like, I hope the kids like this. Right. Right. People just came to it.

Yeah. Because his last special, his opening joke, wasn't it, fuck Lance Armstrong? Well, I don't know if that was the last. No, that was before that one. Well, second to last one, literally, fuck Lance Armstrong. Fuck Tiger Woods, too. Yeah. Don't tell me who my heroes are.

Fuck you. Fantastic. Because he leaned into being a curmudgeoning old. Yeah. Right. That really worked. So maybe it's leaning into like who are your essence versus trying to co-opt. Well, I want to ask you this because there's there's this actual real data that shows

that people who do extreme things and you would fall into that category, have a different baseline of like a dopamine hit than people who live just like, let's say your normal life, right? People who get up and go to work, they can get a dopamine hit from like seeing a fucking firework. Well, I'm like, look at that shit. And then people who have, you know, jumped out of planes and fucking set themselves on fire.

People who have jacked off while jumping out of a plane. There you go. They have a different baseline and that actually doesn't doesn't like reset itself. It, you know, it becomes a different baseline, right? Like you're not going to be as excited by things that you're most people have. So what gets you a dopamine hit? Like what kind of excites you?

Well, right. And there's so much to that, too, especially with like I was on the this great podcast with Mark Norman and Sam Morrill, that we might be drunk. Yeah, we might be drunk. And they were like, man, like they were trying to understand like, you know, what do you do for fun? You know, like you can't go out drinking, you know, like. And I was like, well, I mean, I thought that's kind of sad

that they need to drink to have fun, you know. But, but yeah, there's there's a lot to that. I was like, well, you know, I mean, I basically just never want to stop working, you know, like I think what what satisfies me is accomplishments, you know, which is sounds rich coming from the guy who shoves shit up his ass for a living. But hey, but you're writing a book like writing another book, right? Like writing another book for sure.

Like, you know, I've got my my Wild Ride podcast. I'm super invested in just constantly agonizing over trying to get great guests. Sure. You know, like they're like booking a great guest. Like that that gives me the hit. Yeah, that makes sense. And, and, you know, not to, you know, put myself down for the nature of what I've done. Like I do a lot, man, like every week, at least every two weeks, I have a new upload on four different YouTube channels.

I've got my main channel for like sort of marquee content that I really agonize over. I've got my podcast channel. I've got my podcast clips channel and I've got my Spanish language channel where a guy with a shitty voice speaks in Spanish overdubbed on my content. You know, that's a lot of work. You know, I've got my tour and and fuck. I'd tour my ass off. Working gives you.

Yeah. That hit where I'm working. You're married now. Yeah, I'm still engaged. Well, I remember seeing you guys on Instagram. I think you guys are like so adorable and you were like lifting her up in a hotel room. And I think. Well, yeah, I mean, said Instagram got distinctly more sensitive. We used to we used to be like properly but naked. And just positioned in a certain way that we covered each other's private.

Yeah, that's not cool anymore. Bunch of fucking babies. I know it's really. That's why I loved your photograph with her. I'm like, man, these two are fucking Zuckerberg. These two were so attractive naked. Oh, well, yeah, I missed that. I missed those photos.

I really wish you could start an OnlyFans right. There's your next project. Yeah, I'm thinking about that. I could actually do X rated stunts. You know, X rated. Yeah. Yeah. I started a uncensored page really called stevoraw.com.

And that guy just just it was almost just knee jerk because social media has gotten so sensitive and so fucking uptight. Babies, community guidelines. So I just like, give me a fucking place. Yeah, you got to confirm you're over 18 and then there's my dick. You like my little avatars, my head on a butthole. I do, I really do. I miss that.

That's the picture. Yeah, you guys are so beautiful together. I was so happy for you that you found love. Yeah, that they that one I could see where that might be. It's simulating sex. That's sort of yeah. It's beautiful. Yeah, that that that one I'm not mad at them for taking down. Yeah. All right.

Well, let me tell you, Stevo, I love you. I've loved everything that you and your crew have done in the last 20 years. I think it's like it never stops being entertaining. I think to watch somebody do something you wish you could do, you know, like you're so out there and it just satisfies a need. It's like a primal need to watch someone fuck themselves up. Well, thank you.

I like to think. Sure is. And I think this applies to to you guys, to all entertainers, you know, I could say that what I do, what one could say that what I do is not important, you know, that what Jack asked, you know, what we do. However, I submit that arguably most people have tough days, you know, like maybe they don't love their job.

I think that's most people are not passionate about what they do for a living. A lot of people like aren't in happy relationships, you know, a lot of people have health concerns, you know, like healthy. There's a lot of people with a lot of fucking stress and I don't purport to do anything that's going to solve anybody's problems. But by distracting people, by by creating content that is compelling, entertaining, funny, like whatever. Enough to distract people from from their stressors.

Yes, like that's a noble fucking cause. It sure is. And that's the function of what you guys do. Because when I watch when I watch you guys, like I said, for 20 years, I'm not thinking about my fucking kids being annoying or the life. It just takes you into and we're talking about it when we talked about the last movie on this podcast is that you feel like, you know, this crew and you feel like you're in on the the jokes with you guys.

There's some camaraderie there over the years. Like you want to be friends with we want to be friends with all you guys. Yeah, cool. For sure. You guys like the cool kids, right? So what we all what we do, I've coined a term for us. We are professional distraction therapists. There you go. That's a pretty good distraction therapy, man. Nothing. It is so fun to watch somebody do something.

And either they should get hurt and they make it and you're like, holy shit, or they do get hurt. And you're like, yeah, that's right. That was good. The dummy of the week. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. Got to have the dummy of the week. Here we go. Here's one. Oh, that's kind of hanging up, hanging up, hanging up. Yeah, he hung up.

What did you get? What did you get? Can you breathe? Thank you. Just relax. I got the wind knocked out. And we know it. Yeah, I that's not good for you right there. Yeah, it's not good for you.

He hung up on a fake rock on him for the first one. Oh, and that like a skateboard and you just mentioned the kids. Yes. I'm going to take this opportunity to let everybody know about the skate. Oh, OK. Yeah, right here. This is a skateboard I'm holding. It's a Steve and Wee Man collab and skateboard. It's utterly hilarious.

It's got both of us dressed up in heavy metal regalia. We both autographed it. And two things are important about this. This one is for your boy. Oh, my God, thank you. Holy shit, thank you so much. And it's got Slayer on it. Yeah, and every year, those are special Slayer trucks.

Now, these autograph decks are available at stevo.com as well as all kinds of other cool stuff. Thank you. He's going to love that. And those are particularly fun wheels to ride. They're they're kind of softer and faster and smoother. So cool. Thank you. He's going to flip. He's going to love this. Yeah, that's a big gift, too,

because I can't ride it through the airport like an asshole. Now, I'm one of my favorite fucking. I was riding around to your guys' offices here. Oh, yeah. Oh, I burned through the airport on my skateboard. And they're like they get all of it. Yeah. That's right. Who comes up? Who tells you not to?

Is it TSA action? It was it was it was at the TSA when we were flying from Detroit last night. And, you know, I came through after my my girl Lux. And I just wheeled the board over to her and she stepped on it. And this this guy went over and said, hey, skateboarding through the airport's against law. And it comes with a five hundred dollar ticket. And I was like, give me my board back.

I'm burning through this airport. There's nothing that would tickle me more than paying five hundred bucks. That's it. That's worth it. Fucking rip through the airport. I mean, I like that. That was an insensitive thing to say. But I think there are plenty of things that would give me more pleasure,

but I was willing to pay five hundred bucks. But also as I'm walking through the Detroit airport, nothing would make me happier than seeing Steve Oh, skateboarding through there. That would make your fucking day. It really it really helps, you know, like get through it, because it can be really challenging to go through public, you know, with like things like anything that gives me like speed can be very helpful. Dude, you know that like, remember when like the hoverboards first came out?

Right, the ones that exploded and caught all the things on fire. Dude, but like I remember I had basically I don't think I had seen one in person. Maybe I had heard about this like twenty thirteen or something. Misleading to call that a hoverboard. Yeah, but that's not. But I saw I saw the kind where you lean forward, not the ball. And that's a one wheel. Yeah, so that that kind I'm on this flight and I'm sitting next to Omerion,

the R&B singer. Oh, wow. And there you go. He he has the flat one, though, right? Like, yeah, like that. Yeah. I don't I don't see it on the flight when we'd land. We'd land at the airport. I'm right behind him. So he goes like this and on the jet bridge.

He goes pulls out from his backpack, puts it out. And you just see him. Nice. Go up the jet bridge like that. And I was like, holy shit. And then that dude just went to the airport like I have a couple of things though I want to share with you. I was on Dancing with the Stars with Steve Wozniak. Oh, yeah.

And I had a back injury, you know, like that's part of the in my training. I hurt my back and I told the was I said, I said was I'm thinking about getting a MacBook Air because my back hurts and my backpack's too heavy. And he says, oh, I'll go with you to the Apple Store. You can use my 10 percent employee discount. Stop. And there is no fucking way. There was no fucking way that I was going to turn down.

No way. And not only did I go to the Apple Store with the was. But we rode his and his segues together. Fucking cool. That's fucking rad. That's the greatest day. And the other thing I wanted to share with you guys is that the last video I put up on my my main YouTube channel was called it's called humiliating and illegal behavior that got me banned for life.

And I run through all of the the official lifetime bands, you know, among them like among them, an entire county in Louisiana, which is called a parish. Yes, yes. Terrebonne, Paris. There was there was a police in Margaritaville. No, a couple of casinos. There is.

I mean, they were like six really good ones. And one of them was Delta Airlines. Well, because of because of the the time when I was when I was escorted off the flight by federal agents for for smoking on the plane. And that footage, that footage had never. It was a long, long time ago, 2004. And I was flying a lot at the time. Every flight they said they said this is a non smoking flight

and federal law prohibits tampering with the smoke detector in the lavatory. And I was like, all right, well, I'm not even going to go in the lavatory. You know, so it's clearly not going to be a federal offense if I tamper with a cigarette in my seat, like hit me with a misdemeanor. That sounds great. I'm going to get some footage smoking. And I was very drunk. And I was very, you know, it turned out it is a federal offense to disregard the instructions of flight attendants.

There's like a lot. There's kind of a lot federal going on. And and the footage never like I came up with the idea for this video and and I just dug in. I found the footage. I put it up for the first time ever. And by drawing attention to the fact that that I had an official

lifetime ban from Delta, like I had some nerves checking in at Delta yesterday, you know. But I want to say that they were super cool. OK. I'm an incredibly loyal American Airlines customer. And it kind of pains me to say that my first Delta flight in well over a decade was yesterday. And I was shocked at the quality of the food and in their good or bad, unbelievably good.

It was so fucking fresh and good. I was like, what the bathroom? What entree did you have? It was a shrimp salad. Oh, wow. Huge shrimp. Yeah. So super fresh. That lifetime nothing came up. They didn't it didn't come up. There's a couple that didn't stick.

The MGM Grand, the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Like, apparently they forgot. Well, they have a long list of people. I imagine in Vegas, it's every day some asshole. Oh, for sure. What happened when you got escorted off the flight, though? It was in Panama City, Florida. You know what's interesting?

I think they just kind of let me go. They did. But I definitely got a ten thousand dollar fine. Yeah. For the cigarette. Well, I'd smoked two and I put both of them out on my flesh. Ten grand. Yeah. The second one was the disregarding the instructions.

Did they process you? Like, did they? No, no, no. They was catch and release. Oh, they got you off the plane. They got my info. They made sure that I was going to be accountable for the fine. But I never had a criminal proceeding. It was just, you know, a civil matter and a hefty fine

and a lifetime ban from Delta, which clearly didn't stick. Holy shit. And I hope that I'm not like drawing too much attention to Delta because I want to know how. Oh, you are. I want to reiterate what a great experience I had on the flight. And I'm not even just making that up. Like, I'm actually.

No, I think it's the king of the airlines right now. Because I fly American too and United, not as good as Delta. I'm actually questioning my loyalty to. Wow, you hear that shit? Step it up. I'm also questioning their failure to invite me into the concierge key club. That key club is nice.

Are you as good? I'm not in. I'm not in. But I can burp, gloat anymore. He's very, very proud of his concierge key status. Has he maintained it with all the tour bus shit? I don't think so. I think he's probably it's probably dropping off. Yeah, cast aside.

Yeah. Yeah, American Airlines better step up and get me in the concierge key. Yeah, you deserve it. Delta's looking really good. Delta one. Silver medallion. That's their primo. What other grudges?

I used to like Delta Amy. Remember when she would come on? Oh, yeah, the redhead. Yeah, and she heard there was beef with Delta Amy that the other flight attendants were jealous. And then she moved on. She was great. Yeah.

Oh, she was great. That's not Delta Amy. She was the one that did the announcements. Airlines, yeah. And also, see me at the DCM prop November 3rd, November 4th and 5th. I met Carolines and Jewdork titties. November 18th in Biloxi, November 19th in Ben Salem.

And then Dania Beach. Dania, there's Dania Beach. All those Joel clubs are great. December 2nd, 3rd. Yeah, they really know how to do it upright. And the food is delicious. Always good food. All these comedy clubs coming out with the killer

fucking huge LED video wall. Yeah, I know. Like, you can see, you can see skyjacking on there really well. Yeah, that four K come flying everywhere. That's great. Pretty rad. Super rad. That's pretty rad.

Here's another video we got of somebody just joshing around, being a goofball. That was a death, dude. Don't show me a death. I haven't seen it yet. I think it's all right. Wow, dude. He's not all right, dude.

I think he's fine. No, dude. Tell them, they put it in there. Dude, what's your problem, guys? It's gonna get your, it's gonna get this podcast fucking taken down by a goddamn YouTube. You can't show death?

No, it's not fucking funny. And how am I gonna sell tickets in Vegas if you get this taken down with that fucking shit? Jesus. Where did you find that? Take that out. Fuck. Where'd you find that?

That was a death. That was just on Instagram. Really? Yeah, that's not allowed on YouTube, pal. Yeah, I'll never again, guys. So fucked, dude. Yeah, dude. Have you ever done that?

Have you ever done anything close to that? I've had close calls with that. Man, that fuck never ruined my day. Yo, cus come here. Yeah, I know. Come here. They comment made my day. Everything was going great.

That's all that. Let's liven it up. Let's liven it up. I wanted to do a Spidey cosplay last night, but everybody's like, ha ha, waiting for the queef. So I made a video. What, do you guys want me to come in like this? Here's your opening act.

You got to hire this guy. Did I just post a thirst trap? Without being like, let one rip? Ah, oh wow, I like her. Yeah, she's pretty cool. I can see her being with you. Can I ask? That helped, that helped.

I'm still highly traumatized. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I ask you though, how many times have you jumped into a swimming pool from like a second story bout? Oh my god, that was my specialty early on. Like that was, I was actually fairly one dimensional. And in my like urban high diving, like shit. And it was like three stories.

Like I would do like a flip off a three story building roof into four feet of water. Fuck. Well, how do you not like break your legs? I mean, how are you landing? You want to make sure that it's not a pretty landing, you know? And if it is, you want to curve in and lean back so that you slide along the bottom of the pool

like a baseball player sliding in when they steal second base. Fuck, dude. Because you know, we have a pool that you can jump from like a second story ledge into. And I'm just, I see my boys eyeballing that shit. And I'm just like, one of these days, these fuckers are going to do it.

I know. But then that was how I started. Yeah, I knew it. The second floor balcony and figured out then I'll go to the third floor balcony, then I'll climb on the roof. Now that the curve in and slide along the bottom technique, like when you get to four stories,

then you slow, you curve in and your butt crashes on the bottom of the pool and it hurts and that's not good. Yeah, fuck. And so that guy's definitely hurt the guy that jumped and tried to get in the pool. Oh my God, that was nothing but head and concrete. Like with not only downward momentum, but rotation as well. He was spinning into it.

Yeah. There's no chance that guy survived that. There's a chance. No, there's not. That was nothing but head and concrete. God damn it, you guys. And his teeth are missing for sure. Right?

At least no teeth. His teeth were missing. Nothing. He's not with us anymore. I am not happy. What's going on? You want to show him your TikTok? Oh yeah, I don't know.

Are you going to TikToks yet? Does he know that you curate TikToks? Do you, are you wanting to TikTok it? I am and it frustrates me because TikTok is the most pusified platform. Oh, you're telling me everything I put up gets violated community guidelines, gets put up after every fucking day I'm fighting with them.

But I curate the finest TikTok videos. They allow you more community guidelines, violations than any other platform though. I think they, I think they know, they know how pussy they are. So they're like, okay, you know, like we're, we're dinging people so much, we got to like, give them, give them.

They're such homeless. This is like 30th strike. You're out. All right, Christina has curated some TikToks for you. But these are mine. So many of you had questions about sexy talking. Here's an exercise for you. You're just going to say hello, but very, very slowly.

Curse say hello in your normal speaking voice. Hello. Now slow it down. Hello. Are you hard yet? Hello. That's it. Let's get really excited.

Get a little higher up in your range. Hello. There's zero question in my mind that there's an audience for this. Yeah. It's really legitimately turned on. Oh. Oh.

Yeah. Hello. I mean, what I'm saying is there are people out there that are absolutely beating off to that. And worth noting that I don't see like a teeth being a problem for her. Very nice. She's sexy.

Yeah. We're really tired to access that lower range of our voice. Hello. These exercises are great if you're a beginner singer, but they're also good if you just need a variety in your practice. Please comment below with any questions. And if you're interested in voice lessons,

visit my website. She's all tongue. She's music.org. Yeah. She's got a lot of tongue in that mouth. Yeah. Poor girl. But she knows what she's doing.

I mean, she's not wrong. She, this is how you do it. Sexy talking. Yeah. Hello. Michelle. What are you waiting on? How good was the Dahmer show?

Fucking top knots. 100% yes. Oh shit. He would have taken him to the back room. I wish, I wish it was like six episodes instead of 10. I mean, I got frustrated. I can't watch it. He gets hard to it every night.

I got frustrated. I was like, man, I'm going to start hitting that fucking 15 second forward button. Yeah. Too slow for you. At times. Yeah. It could have been a lot better if it was six episodes,

maybe even eight, but not 10. You feel like you just want to get to the kill, kill, kill, right? Because last night, he's deep into it. It's like midnight. And I'm like, has he finally fucked a corpse yet? He's like, no, he hasn't done it yet. I'm like, well, how many hours before he fucks something dead?

Well, they use a particular storytelling device where they would go back in time. Yeah, yeah. They tarantino'd it up. And I mean, it's really good. And there is a little bit of a less is more approach to it. And there are certain parts of it that work slow. There's just certain parts of it that don't work slow.

We want it to pace up. Overall, however, it's so good. It's just so good. OK, so you're not done with it yet? No. Isn't it great when you watch a story that's based on a scripted show that's based on a true story? Yeah.

And then as soon as it's over, you just start searching YouTube for the real stuff. Of course. Man, I understand. I moved there the year that they arrested him as a kid. Just because you're so into him? Yeah. I was like, I sense that there's a killer in Milwaukee.

And then we moved there. And then, yeah, no, they were so 91 when we moved to Milwaukee. So that was, believe me, the most dominant story. He looks so cute like you. I mean, dude, it's just. When you got your hair cut. It's really good. And like, at the end of it, they're talking about like,

they're talking about how the father is trying to sell the movie rights to the story. And he's like, who would play? You know, they're asking, like, what actors would play. And it's so fucking unsettling to watch an actor saying that. Yeah. About like, what kind of what they're saying is so fucking upsetting of an idea.

And what we're actually consuming is the idea manifest. Yeah. It's superfluous. The skateboard took off on its own. Oh, my God. The dog is running. But yeah, it's great, man. It's fucking fantastic.

That kid, that guy, that actor is phenomenal. He's really good. This is him. This is Tiktok. How about people with access to be my queen, to be the king's queen? This is to Michelle. Take a leap of faith. OK.

He doesn't know it. A lot of these guys don't know how Tiktok works, and they'll make personal pleas to one girl. And you're like, yeah, but everybody in the world sees this. It's not just Michelle. I'm not sure everybody in the world sees this. But you know, we are helping. We're helping out.

Yeah, we're definitely helping. Did you see the new celebrity bling ring? No. I saw the trailer for it. The parts here is fantastic. It's good. I remember when that happened. That was a wild story.

Sure. Wait, this is on Netflix, right? Oh, yeah. What is it? They started, like these Hollywood kids started robbing homes of celebs and breaking in the cars. And the main characters of this show are so unlikeable. It's unbelievable.

It's almost a new level of enjoying disliking somebody. I love that shit. It's my favorite. Like, oh, they're bearable. I can't stop watching. I can't. This one is only three parts. And I could have stood that being like six parts.

Because fuck these people. Yeah. This guy is so unlike because because he goes back and forth between having remorse and being like, oh, man, it was fucking great. Like, he cannot make up his mind if he feels bad. He thinks it's good. He's just glorifying the living shit out of it.

I hate a scarf. Any man that wears the double hoop scarf can go fuck himself. I don't like that. And I like his stupid fucking hat. It's a shitty douchey combination. There's a guy main character and a girl main character. And it's an absolute toss up, which one of them is more unlikeable.

All right, we got a new thing to watch. That's how it went. Time to wake up. It's your birthday today. Come on, put them feet on the ground. Let's take off running. Well, how are we finally going to? How was your night?

Did you sleep good? I'm glad you did. Because today is your birthday. 32 years old. What the fuck? Happy birthday, my fellow king. It's for a dude. You are the king of the week.

You've got the title. Happy birthday. My king and queen's above 18. Get on my page and wish Jake a happy birthday. Jake's birthday. Today he's 32. He's going to be putting his feet on the ground and he's going to be taking off running.

He's on happy birthday today. Yeah, he is. Hopefully. With you waking him up like this. What a wonderful day. What a wonderful day. I think that's your wish for your birthday. Oh, my God.

And you have a big old party for tonight. Put your feet on the ground. Put a birthday cake. Hey, man, can you get up off of me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Somebody contacted me. Oh, my God, we get it.

And let me know. It's your birthday. That today is your birthday. Yeah, yeah. And they wanted me to. So I tell you, wish you a happy birthday. No. So you are getting a special request.

Put your feet on the ground. Actually, you're getting a special birthday shout out. Oh, I thought I thought massage too. Remember he would give him massages. Happy birthday, Jake. You have a wonderful day. I will talk to you soon. Happy birthday.

Let me know how your birthday went. Send me a message on Kings and Queens above 18. Let me know how you're doing. Okay. And I'll answer you back. Jesus Christ. You guys have a wonderful day. I hope you have a wonderful birthday, Jake.

Jesus Christ. Have a good one, baby. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. How much would you love this for your birthday, Steve, when's your next birthday? I can't arrange for this. That's what TLDR is for. TLDR.

Too long, didn't read. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. We'll set it up for you. Yeah. The fan. Look, I really wish you'd just take a moment to appreciate. At first, we just open on the fan. That's a good five seconds of just fan.

And then he comes into the frame shirtless, hovering over you. Then we find out it's a birthday message. But the birthday message isn't for a queen. It's for a king named Jake. So he's doing this for a dude, which is unprecedented in his world. It is.

I mean, it's just that. That's what his world is all about. He's what you call a bear. He's a bear. Right, right. But before it was just for girls, this was the beginning. The kings just wanted.

Kings and queens. Like, I think that the implication there is that kings and queens. It's just like. Whatever, whatever happens. But he has a history of. Of just being in, like doing these for women. So him waking up a guy like this is a new venture.

It's new for us. We've known the king now for a couple of years. And he's never gone this direction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know who? We're familiar with him. Yeah, we know this guy. You know who I'm linking up with in Vegas?

Our boy, Pierce Parris. Oh, yeah. Yes. I mean. He wasn't my idea yet. I can't wait. Yeah. We were talking about trying to tow cars with butt plugs.

Like. He's really talented, dude. You guys should be linked up together. He really is. And doing special like X-ray or whatever. He has a very creative mind and a body that follows. Like he really can do. I mean, we've discussed his.

That's his work right there. That's his butt plug. Oh yeah. This one right here. Yeah, that was in his ass. And he was in studio. I unplugged myself. Oh.

The, that whole butt plug was up as a. Yeah, it was in his asshole. I was going to not tell you my idea, but when I see that. It's an idea I've had for fucking 20 years. Oh, wow. OK. It's called Buttsumo.

OK. You spray paint a circle on the ground. It's a more wrestling thing. OK, the two contestants enter. They have their backs to each other. Each contestant inserts one end of a double ended dildo into their butts. They have to keep the dildo in their butt

and crash the other man out of the circle by crashing their butts together. You guys have to do this. Amazing. You have to do this. It's like, I mean, double ended dildo Buttsumo is too long of a title. I just call it Buttsumo.

That's a brilliant idea. And it is about the title. When you guys title the segments, it really is what sells the whole thing. Right. And I mean, I think that when we get together, we're just going to have to discuss how how long the double ended dildo can be.

It's key. That's fucking pretty long. You can put a lot of stuff in his butt. I know that you occasionally do, but I don't know if you go big. Yeah, not like that. I had an interesting conversation with Dr. Terry Dubrow of botched fame.

And he said that before he was a plastic surgeon, he worked in a trauma ward. And in the trauma ward, they had a special drawer for items that needed to be surgically removed from people's rectums. Apparently it's a thing. It's a common thing. Yeah, very common.

If you talk to anybody that works in ERs, they'll tell you every week, especially in like a major city, like always removing things. I mean, you guys, that's one of the fucking baskets ever. Right, that's the toy cart. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's it's it's it's it's so counterintuitive that like such a large log can come out.

Yeah. But then you got some kind of problem putting things in. Yeah. Wait a minute. We've never actually considered this thought on why I'm age before is that it's not a problem coming out. Right. Why is it a problem going in?

Well, wow. Wow. This is thought provoking. It can handle a lot of things going in. It's that they get stuck in there. And then things have trouble coming out of there. It's a question of the O-rings. They're like a one way fucking.

Like the Challenger Shuttle. Convince. Yeah. Well, he's right because I can make a big dump come out. But if the finger or penis tries to go in there, I don't it hurts. Like why does it hurt going in? Take it easy. He's got to lube it up and take it.

No. Yeah. If the size of a turd like coming out of your butt could be the equivalent of the size of a penis going in here. But then there's no such thing as too big of a penis. It should be easy peasy, lemon squeezy, but it ain't. We got to ask Dr. Drew about this. Yeah.

OK. Well, he loves anal. So I'm sure he loves talking about it. Yeah, he does a lot of anal. I had the best conversation with Drew during the pandemic. I was afforded an opportunity to finish this bit for my bucket list show where, you know, the idea was to be knocked out by illegal,

generally anesthesia drugs. And that the idea was that this guy said that he could put a four inch needle into my spine and inject a drug into my spinal cavity, which would render me paralyzed from the waist down. Epidural. Yeah, an epidural. And that he would happily arrange that like while I was in a full sprint, you know, like he injects the drug, injects the drug, pulls out the needle and off I go, sprinting like a complete badass.

And what's even better is that my bros are just fucking crazy enough that they were down to find out how paralyzed I really was. So it got dark. And you did this bit. Oh, yeah. So did your legs just give out? Everybody who comes to see me in Vegas gets to see the footage because it's a multimedia show. Your legs just give out, though, during.

Oh, yeah, collapsed like a baby giraffe being born. Wow. And how long did it take? Forty five minutes, man. I got so scared. That's what Dr. Drew told me. He said, wow, do I hate that idea? And then he said, wow. And he said, he went on.

I really wish I could talk you out of doing that, but I know I never will and you're going to do it anyway. Sure. So just hear this. Please watch out if you find yourself becoming paralyzed above the waist because that stuff can back up and then you got systems shutting down on you. Oh, it's highly. I mean, the epidural is no joke. When they do it to you before you give birth, I mean, he's watched me do it twice.

The guy comes in, they line you up. It's very, it's very precarious. I mean, I want to do it in the backyard. It's real, dude. Don't forget, you can get a book, a hard kick in the nuts. What I've learned from a lifetime of terrible decisions. You can get the skateboard that he put out with Wee Man. So much. You can see him all over on tour.

And the website to direct everybody to would it be stevo. Stevo.com has probably links to everything, right? That is the hub of all things. There you go. Dude, it was a pleasure. Thank you for coming back to us. Always a joy. It's you guys are wonderful.

Christina, you never look better. You really look absolutely stunning. Thank you, darling. I appreciate that. It's the glow up as I got a haircut. You sober October, man. It's good. It's good. Yeah, my hair grow. Sarah, so healthy.

So it's so rejuvenating. It really is. You know, when it when when when sober October comes up, I think, oh, man, that's harsh. And then I realize, oh, yeah, I'm always sober. Yeah, you're sober year round. I know. But like, it's just built into me like, of course, man. That's gnarly.

So total. I know. Yeah. Well, yeah. Thank you, guys. I'm honored to be here. It was a wonderful experience. The first time we did this together, I could think the bar was set pretty high. People loved it, man. They loved it.

And I think that this one delivered. It did. It did. I was I mean, I wasn't out to like outdo it. This is you did great. Yeah. May I ask you one final question before we go? What's the biggest thing you've ever put in your butt? Oh, I got really ambitious

with a fish on on this this last Jackass movie, a fish, a live one, slid out. Like I just kept sliding out. I could I had no grip. And the thing was to that for like for my net, my next hour, I'll be putting together my next hour, you know, reasonably soon. And that one's going to be called the Steve's Gone Too Far Tour.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, where I'm going to just literally to do shit that everybody who loves me is begging me not to do. Great. Yeah. Can't wait to see it. Yeah, everything on there. One of the things is, you know, it's also an examination of my confronting middle age, you know, how my body is actually breaking down

and like like bit by bit, I'm going to kind of address the issues that I'm dealing with in super immature ways. Like where I'm lashing out at my middle age. It's it's great. It's kind of it's going to totally push the boundaries. And it's going to be appropriate because it's about being too old to be doing this. I love it.

One of the ideas involves going to the that because, you know, middle age, you got to go get the colonoscopy. Yeah. And I'm reasonably sure nobody's asked the doctor, how big can I go? You know, and I'm also reasonably sure that that the doctor is going to be like, oh, you don't want to put huge things up your butt. Yeah. Like that's that's not good. Yeah. And I'm also reasonably sure that that's not going to do for me.

And I'm going to need a second opinion from Pierce Paris. Maybe cool if you just have Pierce. Fuck you. Wow. Like, ah, check it out. I got I got in trouble with my girl over this one, right? Like the the like the idea is to kind of train, you know, to train to see how how big I can go.

Yeah. And go big. You have to dilate your asshole, right? I mean, this is what I'm going to talk to Pierce Paris about when I get to Vegas, you know, and the like one of my ideas, I was kicking around. There's like, I wanted to take a gun off the streets by by melting it down and fitting the entire fucking thing up my ass when looking at that. It seems totally doable. And that way it can incorporate some fun gun shopping, you know.

But I also had an idea of like a clear plastic PVC pipe. Clear. Yeah, you can see, you know, and the camera in the whole fucking like a big ass PVC pipe up my butt and it could not be open ended on the back. Like in the back, you know, the part that goes in can be like like putting a cup in there, right? So ostensibly, if I had this big clear PVC pipe that was closed up on the end, Pierce Paris could blow a load into it.

And that's fucking awesome. Right? I mean, you see it like a nature documentary. Well, right. Like, you see, that would. I don't want to speak for Pierce. So what? But I mean, he'll do it. I know. But my my my my my my. That's rad. I was I told my girl.

I was like, it's okay. That's not fucking okay. It's not gay, dude. It's for it's for entertainment and it's science, bro. And right. It's very, very clinical. Yeah, it's not gay. Right. But my my girl actually. She wouldn't like it. She she she put her foot down on that one.

She said Pony is putting his flaccid penis into the PVC pipe. Just just so that, you know, you can so that counts as a goal. Yeah, yeah, you know, I've had a dick up my ass. Yeah, technically, I've been fucked. But but but actually blowing a load and there's like actually going too far for my girl. But these are just the ideas I'm kicking around for my next hour. We got a rap on that.

That you can't stop that. I am getting double D to it. Of course. But yeah, no big deal. Thanks, Seymour. Thank you. It's all right, guys.