Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @‌drinklightstrike. For their buy 1 get 1 50% off deal, head to https://3DayBlinds.com/YMH. A hole is a hole, partner! These are the famous words of the modern day Dirk Diggler, Mr. Tony Johns who drops in for this week's YMH! Before Tony calls in, Tom and Christine talk about their trip back from the UK, which included a visit to the Tower of London, where the kids were eager to see the torture devices. Tom also reveals he has evolved into a guy who shits on airplanes after turning 40 and then shares some stories about playing in Madison Square Garden, where Redman, Chrissy D, and Joey Diaz opened for him on an unforgettable night. They also talk CP’s desire for Bauhaus to open for her, Big Dad Energy, and shout out London’s food scene while criticizing Europe’s shitty public toilet situation. They then finally get to the opening clip featuring the phrase “Grippy Garfield”, which you'll have to watch and find out about on your own. They also discuss overweight flight attendants, the Baldwins being cringe once again, a schizo lady in a Canadian government conspiracy, the family cloth, and a hot chick farting for content. Oh, also “BREED” makes an appearance, and Tom is so excited to cover the latest Tony Johns drama, recalling all of his recent chaotic moments. Tony Johns next joins the show and talks about dealing with a bully coworker at Walmart, a scary landlord, and his OnlyFans ventures, including his film debut in the works featuring Alexis Fawx. Finally, Tom wraps the insane episode up by mocking a racist white lady’s wedding speech at an interracial marriage. Wooooo come on wit it! Your Mom’s House Ep. 804 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:52 - UK Trip, Big Dad Energy, & Plane Poopies 00:07:20 - Madison Square Garden 00:13:36 - European Public Toilets 00:15:57 - Opening Clip: Grippy Garfield 00:23:26 - Fat Flight Attendants 00:29:59 - Those Damn Baldwins 00:37:50 - Schizo Evelyn Montage 00:40:18 - Clip: Family Cloth 00:41:35 - Clip: Farting Baddie 00:44:20 - The Life & Times Of Tony Johns 01:01:32 - Tony Johns Sets The Record Straight 01:09:12 - More Wild & Crazy Stories 01:16:47 - Making Dreams Come True 01:21:33 - Clip: Cone To The Face 01:22:09 - Clip: Dumb Push-ups 01:22:38 - Clip: Well Done Ribs 01:23:12 - Cool Guy Collabs 01:24:56 - Shitty Wedding Speech 01:33:38 - Wrap Up 01:35:30 - Closing Song "I Got A DUI, Baby" by grasskingdoms & Fart Simpson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey everyone, we just announced my fall 2025 come together tour dates and you can get pre-sale tickets starting today at 10 a.m. local time in each city with the code word Tommy. Go get your tickets now before the general on sale this Friday at tomscura.com slash tour. We added a whole bunch of cities including Allentown PA, West Lafayette, Indiana and Colorado Springs and so many more. I'll see you guys out there. Thank you so much. Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. Okay, flights on air Canada. How about Prague? Ooh, Paris, those gardens. Gardens, Amsterdam, Tulip Festival.

I see your festival and raise you a carnival in Venice. Or Bermuda has carnaval. Ooh, colorful. You want colorful. Thailand. Lantern Festival. Boom. Book it.

How did we get to Thailand from Prague? Oh, right. Prague. Oh, boy. Choose from a world of destinations, if you can. Air Canada, nice travels. What's everybody? What's everybody?

Dude, this is a... Governor. Governor, I'm so excited. Governor, I'm pumped. I'm ripped. And I've been like just on pins and needles, just excited to come in here and do this show. Me too, bro.

So many things to go over. We've lived quite our lives in the last couple of weeks. Yes. We got back from the, okay. Okay, bro. So many things to go over. We've lived quite our lives in the last couple of weeks. Yes. We got back from the UK. Okay, mate. So much fun. And then we got stuck in the UK for three additional days because of the Heathrow fire.

Yeah, there was a fire at a power plant that supplies power to Heathrow Airport and they shut that shit down. I don't know if you know this, Heathrow is not a small airport. It's basically the hub of Europe. So it kind of fucked up about 800,000 people's day. Like for real, it fucked up.

We were gonna leave, the kids and I were gonna leave that morning. You were leaving to go back to the States? I was leaving to go to Glasgow with my tour crew. So we ended up going on a four and a half hour train ride and you guys ended up staying a few extra days, but it fucked up everybody's day there. Well, the good thing is though, it kind of took the pressure off the trip.

You know when you're a tourist and you're like, hey, we got to go to London Eye and then we got to go see Big Ben. We relaxed and then we went to the Tower of London, because the kids wanted to see murder, killing, swords, the rack torture. And I was like, that's definitely your kid. Those are your children, and they loved it. Of course they did, they were cool.

Yeah, and then we flew back 10 hours to Houston, and our kids peed every 15 minutes on that flight. So every time I could like sit down and relax, they're like, mom, I gotta go pee. I was telling Shane last night, cause we were talking about video games. And I was like, oh yeah, you know, we got a PS5 and how the boys, you know, they play their games

and then they like to watch me play games So they go you're gonna play basketball I go yeah, I'll put on like 2k and I'll play and how if I'm beating the shit out of somebody they're like Yeah, but if I'm down by one point, they're like you suck man And he's like, yeah you made like you created friends Like I just made a couple of friends who are like, they got your back when you're good and they make fun of you.

Yeah, I was like, yeah, that's true. They're like my little buddies. That's so fun. Yeah, and your littlest buddy, Juju, decided to take a horrendous dump on the flight back from London. Dude, like it was a multi-wiper, like he had to wipe about 500 times. And he's one who really loves bidet on the flight back from London. Dude, it was a multi-wiper.

He had to wipe about 500 times. And he's one who really loves a bidet and loves getting clean. He loves it. Privacy please, please shut the door. So I was standing, and they won't go to the bathroom alone on an airplane. I had to stand there, watch him jump.

And then he's like, it's not clean enough. It's not clean enough. And I'm like, it's fine. He's like, well, how do I clean it? I'm like, just get the toilet paper wet, dude. He just kept wiping and wiping. Meanwhile, there's a line of people. Of course.

I can't shit on an airplane. I get so much anxiety, because what if they, you know, there's people waiting. Yeah. Anyway. I've been shitting on flights now for a while. No, oh, I know. Basically, I never shit on an airplane,

and then I turned 40. And then I was like, oh yeah, if I feel anything, I'm gonna shit here. But you don't feel the pressure of the people, other people? No, no, I mean. How do you block that out? I don't know, I just,

I just own it dude, and I also go I do these things where I Realize it's gonna be a multi flusher, you know, yeah, cuz I'll I'll do a courtesy flush when the first wave comes out Yeah, and then you know, you're wiping cleaning and wiping those are multiple flushes, too I just go like yeah, I'm shitting up here. There's no secrets Hmm. I'll just let the people know. That's really cool. And then I usually what I, yeah, I'm shitting up here. There's no secrets. I'll just let the people know. That's really cool. And then I always, usually what I do is when I come out of that restroom and you're facing everybody,

I make eye contact and I see if they'll break because I go, I'm not gonna break. So I look at them like, yeah, I know I just shit. You know it too. And I watch them go down. Yeah, oh, that's cool. Yeah, you badger them into submission But I feel like that's the position you have to take if you're gonna be so bold as to shit on a flight

Yeah, well, it's the thing is you can't manufacture the confidence. This is something that I've gotten to with age 25 year old me couldn't have done that 45 build me is like you guys when I talk you want to hear about some shit. I just did I Just took a shit up here you deal with it. You're fucked. It's your fucking problem It's your problem now, but that only comes with being a dad I think you've really come into your dadhood you were always meant to be a middle-aged dad Because that was who you were at 23 when I met you. Yeah, dad energy.

You've big dad energy. This is the fulfillment. This is perfect for you. This is your time. This is your stride. Yeah. Yeah. Feels good.

Yeah. I think I was meant to be like a 50-year-old lady because I like that time. Feels good. It does feel good because the- The off the pressures off. I've done a lot already I'm not looking for dudes to date or talk to me, you know, cuz I already got the dudes You got a dude. You already got a dude. Yeah, as long as I stay thin enough. I'm happy with stuff You know, yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

Well, just also, I should say, big shout out to all the people in the UK and Ireland that came out to the shows. Thank you very much. I had a great time doing the shows. Also, big surprise, but just got to be honest. You got to be honest. Too many Muslims in London? That's not where I was going. I was talking about the shows. Oh. You just kinda give, you always gotta go like,

man, people go, what was the best show? You know where the best show was? Where? Cardiff, Wales. The Welsh. I'd never done a show there. All the shows were fun. We did shows in Dublin, and Belfast, in

London and Manchester, in Nottingham. Where am I forgetting? Where the sheriff lives. Where the sheriff lives, Robin Hood lives. But man, we get to Cardiff. It's our last gig. We're like, oh, we hope it's a good one. Bananas. Electric crap. Fucking electric crowd. That's amazing. And then a week later, come back and do MSG, a sold out show at MSG.

Bananas. And I had big secrets, I never announced it, but I had Red Man open the show, which was just fucking wild. Absolute, one of my all time favorites. I mean, I've grown up listening to this guy. Reached out, had him open the show, surprise open the show, which was just,

it was so amazing. And then I surprised the audience. I had Christa Stefano do a set. So funny. And then had him bring up Joey Diaz which was another surprise and then I got up there and I'll I'll say this because sometimes you know you do I would Say here in the states when you do New York and LA

You know you can get big crowds, but you can also get a crowd in either of those cities. That's like you know Who the fuck are you? We're the biggest market. I don't know. I don't know you bitch. Impress me. And you just don't know, even though it was packed, there was 13,000 people at the show,

we were like, well, you know, you go, I don't know what they'll be like, dude, this crowd was unbelievable. Like literally one of the best crowds of ever, they were so hot and they never faded for the entire show. Like they had peak energy. And it was just like, it was so fucking fun, man. So.

Well, I think, cause I got to go to that and I was so pumped to see you do MSG. I mean, it was, first of all, New York City to me is the center of the universe. It's fantastic. And to see, the crowd was so hyped, because I think they get it. They're like, if you're at Madison Square Garden,

you did it, man. And they're rooting for you. They want you to do well. And it was so big. Oh, there's Joey. Oh my gosh, he's so funny. Chrissy D. So funny.

Chrissy D and I were talking about, we were like, look at this fucking guy. He's wearing sweatpants. Yeah. He's got a bandaid on his ear. He looks like he's walking to his gate at the airport. And he just walks up on stage and demolishes. Meanwhile, like the rest of us are like, hey, you know, is this shirt steamed? Like you're just trying to like make sure you look presentable.

Yeah. Joey's like, whoa. Like he's just trying to like make sure you look presentable. Yeah. Joey's like, whoa. Like he's just went down to the market to grab a sandwich. Yeah. And he just goes up there and just kills. It was so fun to watch. He is so amazing. I used to rob people around here.

And you're like, that's fucking crazy. That's what he said. That's awesome, dude. Chrissy D and I were backstage. And in his green room, there was an event from 1984, a poster that said, Cat Ranking Assembly or Cat Ranking whatever thing. And he's like, my, you know how he talks like that, my uncle Irvin was a cat ranking judge.

And I'm like, no, he wasn't. He's like, no, look, there's videos on TikTok. He's ranking cats. You're so fucking crazy. So insane. These guys are nuts, dude. New Yorkers are different. They're good.

It was the best. It was really fun. Thank God. It's like, this will always be a crazy memory for me is doing MSG. Oh my gosh, there's Redman. He was so nice too. His whole crew was so cool. He was. And also so high.

Just how I wanted him to be. He was so goddamn high. How high? Well, so high he could touch the sky. It was very, very... There was so much... I was like, which green room is Redman in? And then you just follow the smell. And you're like, it's definitely this one.

Glad the kids didn't come to this. And Primo came out. Yep. DJ Premier, bunch of friends, family. It was just, it was an awesome night. Yeah, Sean took that. He's framing that for me. I thought that was a really cool photo. I wonder if Bauhaus will open for me

if I ever do MSG after. You have to reach out. All right, listen up, you beautiful high-functioning party animals. Light Strike Hard Ref up, you beautiful, high functioning party animals. Lightstrike Hard Refresher is here and it's unlike anything the alcohol industry has seen. This isn't just a drink, it's a goddamn survival tool. Why choose between fun and function?

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pounding porosos and lightstrike learn more about lightstrike at drink lightstrike.com or follow on tik-tok and Instagram at drink lightstrike. Learn more about Lightstrike at www.drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram at www.drinklightstrike. Lightstrike Hard Refresher, an excellent source of 5% alcohol. It's 2025! Are your blinds still from 2005? What are you, crazy? There's a better way to buy blinds, shades, shutters, and drapery. 3-Day Blinds. They're the leading US manufacturer of custom window treatments. Right now, use our link, 3dayblinds.com slash ymh for a buy one, get one half off deal. Why not shop for blinds from home?

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For their buy one get one fifty percent off deal on custom blinds shade shutters and drapery for a free no charge No obligation consultation. Just head to three day blinds comm slash ymh one last time That's buy one get one fifty percent off when you head to the number three da y blinds comm slash when you head to the number three, dayblinds.com slash YMH. One thing before we leave the topic, I just wanna give a shout out to London. Yeah. A number one food.

I don't know what happened to us a couple years back. I told you. We got jacked. Yeah, we went to bad places. I don't know how that happened. I just wanna give a shout out to London, your food crushed. However, I will say,

I don't know what Europe has against public toilets. It feels like they want you to eat the food, but not shit anywhere in public. They're like, you take that dump home, and you pee at home. There's a lot of things I like more in Europe, but toilets is not one of them. They just don't do public,

and oh, you wanna use our toilet? That's like five pounds. You got five pounds on you, and then you have to stand in line. I'm like, this is insanity. I don't do pubs and oh you want to use our toilet? That's like five pounds Yeah, you got five pounds on you and then you have to stand in line. I'm like this is insanity I don't like it either. So eventually I would pop into a pub. I learned Pubs let you shit. Yeah. And with the kids, oh my kids have to pee or we just pee in the car You want to shit somewhere in public you go to Tokyo. It's the number one toilet system on earth. Is that right? 7-eleven has a Toto washlet.

I mean, what are we, what's going on here? 7-Eleven, I went purposely to 7-Eleven to take a shit. See, so this tells me that London, England, UK, Europe, they have something against people going to the bathroom in public. I don't know what it is. They got a problem with it. I don't know.

Not in Amsterdam. In Amsterdam, remember they're like, you wanna pee, just piss here. Amsterdam set up to pee outside. They're like, we know you're gonna be ready to pee at any moment as a dog. So here's this outdoor stall. Just a concrete thing.

And you see the feet, you see people. You're like, oh, that I was taking a piss right now. Yeah. Yeah. Cause this, they started doing this, I guess in the 1500s, cause like there's the first public toilet. It was the first outdoor urinal. Yeah.

And now they're like, well, you're getting drunk. By the way. Just pee outside. Once you get past kind of the surprise of this, you're like, well, this is brilliant. I always have to pee. I'm always looking for a place to pee. Me too. So the point is, if you brilliant. I always have to pee. I'm always looking for a place to piss.

So the point is if you're a tourist that likes to pee, go to Amsterdam. The point is if you gotta pee, you go to Amsterdam. If you think you're gonna need this shit, you go to Tokyo. Those are the two places that care about your pee and your poop. All right, let's get in this show. You ready? Let's start the show. This is going to be insane. I really hate when they eat it and then they realize that my Garfield is gripping their tongue. And so now they just want to feel it.

They need to feel it. They have to feel it. I don't have time for that. If you're going gonna eat me out I got my grandpa's great. It's grand. I'm telling you right now So if you want to eat me out fine, but you want to go pass that just don't even start because when I grip your tongue You don't damn sure want to penetrate Hell yeah Meow meow. Meow meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow.

Meow meow meow meow. Man, she's got a tight little snatch on her, huh? Yeah. Well, you know, you always ask this of me whenever there's a cool guy. Yeah. This being a cool girl. Yeah. Well, do you want to hit it? Knowing. Hold on. Knowing that our Garfield is pretty tight. It's great. It's grand and snug.

You know, grip my tongue. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. Be honest. Pretend we're not married. You get carte blanche. This is your one. Yeah, there's a lot going on, you're right. This is a kind of reverse psychology thing you're doing here.

Well, you know what, okay. You mean you're always telling me like, you don't think that guy's really good at doing the thing? You don't think he'll eat your box out? Okay, I'll start with this. I am curious at what the Garfield does, okay? I'm not gonna deny that I'm not curious. In my mind, as she told the story, I was like, hmm. I wonder what's gonna happen to my tongue.

I was like, is it gonna pull my tongue out? So I did think that. I mean, she is, you know, she's attractive. She's not an unattractive woman. No. I don't love the ceiling of her car. I don't love the headboard there. By the way, I had this exact ceiling.

It is cool guy lighting and angle. She's driving, talking about her pussy. It's a lot. She's got some questionable judgment things going on. But that probably makes it even better, babe. Yeah, here's the thing. Like you said, it's fine to just go, you know, would I have intercourse with this woman?

I think I would. Wow. Yeah. I think I would. The honesty there. Yeah, I think I would. I think I would. See, this is where you and I agree to disagree.

I can't look past the externals. I can't look past the externals. I can't look past the teeth. I can't look past the ceiling that's falling down. I can't look past. Yeah, I would definitely, here's the thing. Is this one that I would tell everyone about? Like, you know, if you have a single guy, you tell your friend.

I might keep it secret. You know, I might not tell them, hey, I fucked our Uber driver. But yeah, I mean, I'm so curious that her description is appealing. But here's the real question, I always wonder, do you take her to your place? Do you go to her place?

Do you go, is that her place? Is the car her place? It might be her place. That's what I'm thinking. That has I live in here vibes. Also, what is that, like a stopwatch around her neck? What's going on? thinking. That has I live in here vibes. Yeah. Also what is that like a stopwatch around her neck? What's going on?

It's a heart monitor. Oh, okay. It's a pacemaker. I don't know dude. She's like, I time my drives. Okay. She's got a lot of shit around her neck for sure. There's a lot going on.

You're right. She's kind of like, it's kind of, but here's the only way you make this video as a lady is if you're kind of chaotic, you know? Yeah. Yeah, this isn't, this isn't. The way you make this video as a lady is if you're kind of chaotic, you know? Yeah. Yeah, this isn't- This isn't- But where do you take her?

I mean, do you go to a shed? Cause you wanna keep it a secret. You can't toss it around- No, yeah, no, this is a secret. This lady is a secret. So then do you check into like a scummy motel? Maybe, I don't know. I mean, you definitely are like, no, no, not here.

That's the first thing I would say to her. Whatever, she was like, all right, I'd be like, no, not here. That's the first thing I would say to her. Whatever, she was like, all right, I'd be like, well, not here. That's the first thing I would say to her. Let's go somewhere else. She was like, well, there's a, I go, how about on the outskirts of town? You know, like another town over. Yeah, she's kind of, this lady, you don't want her to,

you don't want her to know where you live, right? No, of course not. Yeah, so that's why that's number one. You know what I just yeah, sorry No, go ahead. I just had a flash of you know when you you just know two people and you're like I wish I could set them up on a date. Uh-huh Don't tell me that you don't think she and unk shine would be Oh amazing a perfect match Yeah, cuz he's like I wanna lick your booty that you don't think she and Unc Shine would be. Oh, amazing. A perfect match. Ay, ay, ay. Yeah, cause he's like, I wanna lick your booty. I'm coming to lick your booty.

He's always talking about eating girls out. And he wouldn't. Yes. Yeah, he loves eating girls out. She loves having her. Here's the thing though. She is 150 IQ points above him. That's true.

I don't think she would be like, oh, you're cool. No. She's, you know, I think she's had some attractive partners before. Of course. And like put together people. Not like, he had, he'll just be like,

I saw a woman asleep on the floor. You know, like, he's a fucking mess, dude. He is a mess. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Well, dude. He is a mess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Well, I wonder which gentlemen are with her, though.

I don't know. By the way, this ceiling thing that's falling in her car, I had the exact thing happen in my 87 Chevy Nova, and I can tell there's, I had cigarette burns in mine, too, which I think I see up there as well. Very hard. Once it starts falling, that one is almost impossible to repair.

It's very tough. The fact, I don't have a problem with that being the ceiling in your car. You just don't have to show it in the video. Yeah, you can angle it. She could have just made this video parked this way. Maybe not while you're driving. And that's really a safety thing.

I don't think you should make these videos while driving. It's not necessary Guys in the booth would you are you curious as to what her Garfield's like? Oh, yeah. Oh wow surprise answer from any Oh, yeah, yeah, no that bitch got like a thousand bodies that would never admit that they fuck exactly 100% Zolo I mean, yeah, the confidence really is you know intriguing Guy men are different creatures. I'll tell ya. I want to know and she specifically was like like she's talking about her Garfield grabbing tongues Not because it happened once it happens. There's a bunch of guys. They're like, holy shit like they're always I feel sick I don't want you doing that sound and like acting.

Stop. I hate you, my fucking. I'm gonna throw up. Like, and then she's right. Then everyone's like, I wanna put my dick in there. Okey dokey. Yeah. So.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know, apropos an earlier discussion on this show, I mentioned Obese Flight Attendant that I had on a flight. And so I was on another flight and a fan of the show, this flight attendant was kind enough and she goes, I heard what you said about the overweight flight attendant. And I was like, yeah, tell me why is this happening? She goes, they haven't weighed us since 1994.

They used to weigh them in 94? Absolutely. I figured they thought they weigh them in 94? Absolutely. I figure they thought they weighed them in the 60s. No. Oh. And she says, you know, they stopped weighing us because she said apparently it's a form of discrimination and it's protected to be a great big fat person.

Now here's the deal, man. I mean, I don't know, the lawyers didn't argue this case well because that that can be that's a controllable thing your weight, correct? And what if it's a qualification of said job that you need to be a certain? Well, you know, that's why you see fat cops too, right? Terrible. They got to take this stuff out Take the fitness test once which is like in the Academy, which is why you'll see these guys are literally 330 pounds and you're like you're gonna chase a guy? No.

But it makes no sense. Like let's say a qualification to be a physicist is a PhD in Physicistics, right? There's a qualification. There's a thing that needs to happen. So why can't maintaining a baseline physique? It's all unionized. That's why, I mean, that's why cops.

They're all bald and shit. They're all bald and shit. And why they don't have a requirement to stay fit is because of the strength of the union. So I imagine flight attendants have, is there a flight attendants union? There must be. Is there something like that?

I don't know. Look, a little, I'm saying that this guy was so obese that he was bumping into us and stuff as he was walking by. I'm like, he can't even do his job. Yeah, there's the Association of Flight Attendants. Oh, gosh. Yeah, it is the flight attendant. It represents 50,000 flight attendants.

And 100%, one of the things in there is we can be as fat as we want But it's cost prohibitive for the airline because you're taking up an someone's suitcase space Let's say they are weight is important on an airplane. You know, it's You're also giving up the happiness of the people that look at you That's the biggest like you're supposed to look at them and be like, oh. Pretty. Yeah. Consider this your official notice that Mother's Day is fast approaching. Sunday, the 11th of May, is the day for all the moms in our lives,

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Blue Nile's jewelry experts are waiting 24-7 via phone or chat. From tech specs to budget wrecks, they'll help you find a piece your mom will love. Our very own Eni loves his mother so much. And boy did he get her a beautiful piece from Blue Nile. He showed all of us and she is going to be thrilled. Treat mom right this Mother's Day. Enjoy the ease and convenience of shopping Blue Nile, the original online jeweler. Go to bluenile.com today. That's bluenile.com. This episode is brought to you by FX's Dying for Sex on Disney+.

Based on the podcast of the same name, Dying for Sex tells the story of Molly, who is diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. Determined to feel everything she can before she can't feel anything, she decides to leave her unhappy marriage to explore her sexuality with some encouragement from her best friend Nicky. FX's Dying for Sex, streaming April 4th, only on Disney+. Sign up now at Disneyplus.com. Remember when they were pretty and stuff?

You know where they still are? Only pretty women. Uh, in Asia. Singapore. If you look at Cathay Pacific. Yes. Cathay Pacific Airlines. Yeah.

They're just like, hey, if you're 125, you get fucked, get off of this plane. They do not fuck around there. Same thing with like, all like those top to your international ones. Yeah, yeah, they all are, look at that. They're all attractive and put together. Singapore Air, Emirates. Emirates is great.

Etihad. Dude. No, I know. Look at is great. Etihad. Yeah. Dude. No, I know. Look at them. Gorgeous. Dimes. Yeah, dimes. And guess what?

Everybody on that fucking flight is like this. This is nice. Happy. This is nice. Even, shout out to Richard Branson on the Virgin line, Virgin Atlantic. I loved Flying Virgin. Yeah.

Because they were all cool and pretty and they had cool outfits. What's wrong with that? It matters, dude. Can you not? Yeah, there's restaurants that also only hire attractive women. The hostess, of course. The waitresses.

Yeah, and it's like, that's the liberal. Oh, no. Jesus Christ, man. No, dude. It's a safety issue. How is this person going to assist me off? Why is someone getting so fat? And also, when you fly, How is this person gonna assist me off? Why is someone getting so fat? Hahaha!

And also when you fly, as you know Tom, there's a weight allotment for aircrafts. Of course! It affects the safety, the balance. Here's the thing. It's not just a big fatty, cause I've had big, big barb. You know, she comes down like this

and her hips are hitting the seat. Yeah, in barb. You know, she comes down like this, and her hips are hitting the seat. The neck seat. And guess what? She's grumpy. Yes. She's kind of sweaty. Yep. She's not pleasant.

Not happy. She's got a shit. She's a big, big broad. Big broad. And she's not even providing good service. They don't, no. Cause she's trying to digest food. Yeah. She's all logy from the carbs.

I do, however, the obese guy that served, he was gay too. He was gay. And he was polite. He was fun because he was gay. Fat, gay. And by the way, I prefer a gay flight attendant. I love the gay male ones. Describe yourself.

Fat, gay. Yeah. I love a gay flight attendant. Yeah, they're fun. They're great. And I will say shout out to the gays in New York City. Boy, can they dress. They looked fantastic.

The gays came with their fashion. We were also talking about. In the US, they have fat flight attendants. That's hilarious, dude. Yeah. And how cool would it be to be the person pictured in that article? You're like, Oh my God, that's me. You're in the press and they're like, what? Take a picture of me? Yeah. It's an article about how there's fat people here. That's cool.

That is so sad. You would be like, Oh my God. You're like, oh my god. You're like, they can't use that picture, can they? But I will say in London, you don't see as many great big fat people because I think they don't have as much food on the go that we do. Like, you can't just grab a pizza slice and walk through London. We're the fattest. That's no question.

By far. Yeah. Also, another thing you notice is how How many attractive people obviously this is a numbers game? How many attractive people you see in New York walking around? So pretty. Everyone's so good-looking. So pretty. So many good-looking people. The modeling capital of way. One of the modeling capitals. Stunning people. Yeah, no a fucking New York six is in Austin 10. Oh, listen, I love Austin. I love Austin. I gotta say, a lot of the ladies walk around here,

garbage dumps, they're not taking care of them, they're not looking good. I mean, you guys see them in the bars. And we're getting a lot of these, hey, how do you like these, you know? That's Dallas and Houston. And you see them here too. But Austin is more like, just the young girls that should be cute there

They they dress like garbage bags, and I'm like Looking like that. I hope you get your Garfield grips because you have to bring something to the table. You know Gotta bring something to the table here. You wanted to show me this Oh my god. You're distracting me right now. Like now. You're just doing that. Why why are you distracting me? What? Holy... how it feels to have it be out there. It's gonna be great. You're a winner. Oh my god, when I'm talking you're not talking. I'm sorry. No, when I'm talking you're not talking. This is why, yes, we'll have to just cut him out of the show. No, I mean, I think this is a really raw show and it's very real and we took a lot of chances. Did you see his face?

He was like, bitch, I will hit you. And I will say say in this instance Yeah, he should have hit her. I think this is the time you hit a bitch is this that is a fucking lack of respect Yeah, big she don't respect him Well, that's a yeah, I think this went pretty viral this yes I did and they even made a joke about it. Did you see it? No on One of their maybe was his Instagram or hers Like they kind of replayed it in bed. Oh, yeah, she's like a lot of people are saying that like this

We think I disrespect you but I want you like I love you and I was like, I know I know I know you do Anything in your name? I'm not I'm not I still learning English How do you say disrespect? Like, can you find that? I'll have to watch, cause I saw the first few seconds and I clicked off cause I'm so disinterested in these two as people. But I mean, could you, babe, if I talk to you like that,

first of all, privately negative, but publicly. Yeah, publicly, bro. Bro, first of all, the guy's old, like he doesn't want seven kids. Yeah, publicly Bro bra First of all the guys old like he doesn't want seven kids also letting you have seven kids Let's be clear about something to in this just straight up of the two of them Why is there a camera anywhere a hundred right so right then when she goes on talking you're not talking He should have been like do you know why they're even fucking doing this? 100%. It's not cause of you. No, babe.

It's cause of me. 100%, babe. So how about whenever I feel like talking, you shut the fuck up. And then a fucking, just a little slap. Yeah, and then a little, yeah. A little Sean Connery. Yeah.

Ay, que lastima. How do you say it in Spanish? Ay, ay. What do you say when you get hit in Spanish? Ay, ay, ay, ay. No me gusta. I am What do you say when you get hit in Spanish? No, we go stop Let me pay let me pay Yeah, it's insane that was insane, but she has a great rack for fucking seven kids She's beautiful like I think she's a yoga instructor course

She's always working out on the green. You know how there's always reality shows about yoga instructors? No, it's because you married a movie star. All right, let's see this horse shit where she's. Winner. Oh my God, when I'm talking, you're not talking. Oh, this. No, when I'm talking, you're not talking. This is why, yes, we'll have to just cut him out of the show.

And that is called, what's the word of the day? Man-terrupting. Man-terrupting, which could be a positive, it could be a negative, or it could be a... Correctile dysfunction. Yes, correctile dysfunction. I think that's one of our children trying to get into their room. Um, but you know, the whole point is, because our children about to come in, the whole point is... that we interrupt each other all the time.

Why are they laughing? What's the f- I mean- Okay, I'm coming. It's a great apartment in New York City. Okay, so now that we cleared all of that up- Yeah, it's all those yoga classes she taught. I'm gonna kiss just so they know that I'm not-

That's a- oh, look at that. That's a gorgeous place. Give me a kiss. Big room. There it is. Yeah, I like that. The guy goes, the word of the day is rude. Oh, that's a gorgeous place. Big room. Yeah, I like that. The guy goes, the word of the day is rude. You were rude to your husband. Well, and then she doubles down on it.

This is a double down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, listen. Everybody knows. What's going on? What's going on here? What is going on here? Yeah.

He just is, does she have the grip in her Garfield? Oh yeah, I'm sure she's got a real grippy Garfield. Is that, this is? I mean, not after seven, but I'm sure she's got a real grippy Garfield. Is that the, this is her type? I mean, not after seven, but I'm sure it started pretty grippy. Yeah, it's not anymore. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, I don't know. It's pretty obvious, right?

He's like 30 years older than her or something. Babe, this is Alec Baldwin. I know, but he met her, he was already like in his 50s. Sure. And she was like, whatever, 28. Cute. Yeah. Yeah, but he's Alec Baldwin. He was with Kim and Basinger at one point.

Oh my god. Like, bruh, he don't need her. Well, this is, you know, the train's left the state. You have seven kids with someone. Yeah. Maybe that's why she's cranking somebody out to like lock it down, lock it down, lock it down. And also like, it's funny because.

It's wild dude. You can tell who's a real performer and entertainer in this dynamic. I mean, you're still like, you're just still, there's a reason why this wasn't your life. Yes. Before him, it was because you're not that entertaining. Well, she's not, there's no talent.

There's not a talent. You're still a yoga instructor. You just married a movie star. She's gorgeous Hey, very pretty good body good fate like she's really I don't think she's very interesting to listen to or there's not many ideas and stuff, but Wow, I'm surprised did you see the rage online? Can you back it up in that interview where he kind of goes he goes? Oh Yeah, that was awesome. Yeah Did you see the rage? Hold on, can you back it up in that interview where he kind of goes, he goes. Oh yeah, that was awesome. Gonna see how it feels to have it be out there.

It's gonna be great. You're a winner. Oh my God, when I'm talking, you're not talking. No, when I'm talking, you're not talking. I'm sorry. This is why. So that's funny. Now he's still funny.

No. Now he thinks about that. I think this is a really raw show and it's very real. That's the only way we'll have it right here. When he went, he was just like, you can't hit her on, you can't hit a woman. Yeah, yeah.

He's thinking of the Garfield, he was thinking for Garfield. Yeah. This fucking bitch, I had seven kids. Yeah, he's trapped, dude. That is wild. Yeah, it's insane. This is why we say it all the time. How old is he now? 98.

No, he's gotta be like. Poor guy, I mean, I thought he was so gorgeous. He's 66. This man's almost 70 years old. Yeah. Yeah. But man, I had the biggest crush on him when he was a little girl. He's turning 67. When he did that movie, The Marrying Man,

with Kim Basinger, I was like, God, movie, The Marrying Man with Kim Basinger, I was like, if I grow up to look like Kim Basinger, and I could get Alec Baldwin. Oh, he's a stud, dude. Oh my, I thought he was the most attractive man I'd ever seen. He's so handsome. And when he was Jack Ryan, when he played Jack Ryan.

In what? In whatever it's called. Oh yeah, look at that. That's what he's like. That's his James Bond era. Gorgeous. Yeah. He was fantastic in that.

Fuck, all the Baldwin's. I think one or two are kind of goofy looking. Yeah, but that genetic glottery just is what it is. But he definitely got all the good stuff. Yeah. No, he's a fantastic actor. That voice, all the good stuff. Yeah, no, he's fantastic. That voice, that gravelly voice. Yeah, he's really good.

Gosh, I really like him. But this is also part of what putting your whole family on display, like reality shows. I cannot believe any of these people sign up. I hope they're paying him a fucking fortune for this. But it's always a marriage killer, because everybody that's ever done one, they end up divorced, except for Ozzy and

What's her name Sharon Osborne? But other than that they stay together together, but they were ironclad before yeah I mean Ozzy was doing crazy shit for years before they had a reality show the reality show probably calmed him down But they always end up divorced broken. No good. No bueno. No They always end up divorced, broken, no good, no bueno. No. Wow, my god, that was just fucking insane. Oh yeah, this is, you're gonna love this. I would've hit her. Fuck, dude.

Got a montage for you. You ready? Oh yeah. Here we go. Government of Canada, get your target program out by family now! Third Uniform, Twelfth Bumper, you know what will fucking stop them? BASTARDS! They do the most hated things to my bellybutt. My lips and everything are burnt, skin falling out of my mouth.

Appraisers for their energy bars. Okay, I need to talk to my theater. Stop choking me! I'm trying to be strong here. I'm having a breakdown today. Do you hear me? This is what it feels like to take the subway in New York City. I sent a video of hers to Sickler. He goes, the funniest part is that I see that you follow her. I was like, yeah, every day she's just like, ah, look at my tongue.

They're sending radioactive waves into my apartment. Yeah. Yeah. My mom got into that later in the life. Really? There's waves and the telephones got sound waves. I can't use the telephone. I can't send emails. Yeah. This is a little bit of schizophrenia, Tom. Yeah. She's schizophrenic. It's pretty cool. She's really mad at the Canadian government. I know her whole story. Yeah. What's she mad at? The Canadian government is attacking her and they're trying to like send these kind of

penetrative waves into her place. And they're, they're abusing her. And she just wants somebody to come in and stop them. Yeah. They even follow her outside and stuff. That's, that's, you gotta put tin foil on the windows. Everybody knows that. You're number one.

Yeah, don't go outside. This is when you become a shut up. This is about where my mom decided to call it a day. But man, there's a lot of tears. There's a lot going on. Yet she still knows how to post a video on social media. And she writes. And she writes the captions, yeah.

She does? Oh wow. So she's still there she writes the captions, yeah. She does? Yeah. Oh wow, so she's still there. There's something, something's still there. It's not all there, something's there. No. I'm looking forward to her creative development. Yeah. How's this gonna go?

We'll have a follow-up pretty soon. You know, the Baldwin's, I don't think they're doing it right as a family, but I think this is a great move for our family. Using a family cloth instead of toilet paper. Everyone learns responsibility, cleaning the family cloth. You don't have to waste all that fucking money on toilet paper.

You know what I mean? Think about how much you would save in a year. Hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars. I'm into this and the waste, just the ecological stuff. I just shit. I wipe waste, just the ecological stuff. So imagine I just shit, I wipe my ass with the family cloth, rinse it off, put it there for you. How are you rinsing it though? What are you, you're using soap, right?

I don't think you need to go that far. Just a little run under the sink, have all this shit go down in the sink and then hang it back up, now it's your turn. The problem though is that I gotta wipe my jiney. That's fine. Do I get my own cloth? No, no, no, it's a family cloth.

We share it as a family. I can't use the shit cloth on my vaginas. Sure you can, you can just flip over the cloth. Oh, I didn't even think about that. And then the boys, they get to wipe it. They wipe it. No, you know how they're so meticulous with all the things they do.

They can perfectly used and perfectly clean This is such a great idea. We got to get into the family. I thought you'd like that She's cute she's got great heine. She's got a great ass Pretty face I could do these videos so well. I'm gonna get into this. 50 year old mom farts. That's a lot of farts. Like, she's doing makeup.

You see she's got her eyeliner brush in her left hand there. No, I could do this. Every time I worry if you're gonna drop dead and I have to support the kids, I remember I can do these. Farts, yeah. I know Annie's turned on right now. I remember I can do these farts. Yeah, I know any any is turned on right now She's got a shit is what she's got it Ready to shit. She's got to do this cuz guys guys get hard

Yeah, she doesn't want to the other things are nasty this is easy This is money on the table. It is the easy, of all the kinks you can get into, farting is like, some people are like, I fart whatever, 20 times a day. They're like, yeah, just roll it, roll camera. Roll camera. Yeah.

You don't hear her breathing, breathing heavy, like, oh fuck, gotta get another one. That's just the atrients. She doesn't feel like, she doesn't feel like she's like really, you know, exposing herself. She's like... Nope, yeah, I don't even see her face. Could be anybody.

Her tits are put away. This is what I'm seeing. Her clothes is on. Her clothes is on? Her clothes are on? Her clothes are on, yeah. Yeah. What's everybody?

Yeah, I think that I could do this lickety split. Yeah. I think I got a new painting coming. I finished one, I will be honest, I did finish my next one,. I think I got a new painting coming. I finished one, I will be honest, I did finish my next one, but I'm not sure it's good enough. All right, well listen.

I've got some artistic stuff, I don't know, I'm feeling insecure. Reed, I need a rogue. Reed, I need a rogue. I need a rogue. God, you have to start creating a rogue pocket in your pants and stuff. You're so into these.

It's not a bad idea. No, it's not a bad idea. Don't forget, by the way, his name's Breed. He likes Breed. Breed? Breed? Yeah, yeah. I didn't know Breed.

Breed? Why Breed? Oh, nice, bro. That's good. Do you like to go by Breed? No, that's just what fucking any call it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Black guys love cool nicknames.

I know. He's lying. Breed. MC Breed. That was so silly. Reed, can I say something about Reed though? He's pushing back now. Is he?

Yeah, he's getting some sass, he's getting his feathers ruffled. That's what you want, man. He's pushing back. Yeah, you want people. Now, he came in a little more docile, and now he's like, fuck you, dude. Yeah, well, he's getting some sass. He's getting his feathers ruffled. That's what you want man. He's pushing back Yeah, he came in a little more docile and now he's like fuck you dude. Yeah, well he's getting good. He's getting yeah He's comfortable. Yeah, he's getting strong. I like it. I like it. I like it too. I like it. Okay Honestly, honestly this entire episode. I have just been holding on to get to this

And that is. Oh no, I'm scared. That our buddy, Tony Johns. No. If you have not been following this on Instagram, because we've been traveling, touring, and I've been watching, every day, I see something of Tony John.

At first I was like, oh, this one thing just happened to him. It has been, if there was a reality show on this right now, it's the most dramatic two weeks that could possibly happen in somebody's life. So let me just recap what has happened in two to three weeks since this guy. So let me just recap what has happened in two to three weeks since this guy. Can we set it up, what part of the world is he? This is in Auburn, New York, upstate New York.

And the only thing we knew, we knew when he came on, just to kind of set all this up, we knew he had been working at Lowe's and that was like a stable thing for him and then he'd gotten let go. And you're like, well, you know, that does happen, right? People have jobs, they lose their job. It's just a reality of life.

And you're like, okay, you lost your job. And he's like, well, now I got a job at Walmart. And you're like, yeah, cool. You were at Lowe's, now you're at Walmart, stocking shelves, you're doing your thing, you're making a living. Hopefully you can do that for a while. In the three weeks,

three weeks since we last kind of spoke to him, he lost his job at Walmart. He's being evicted. He started an OnlyFans charging $20 a month. He has about 10 fans right now. He was kicked out of a library, the public library, because he was filming inappropriate content with panties in his mouth.

He got kicked out of Kyuga Community College Library because he was asking for money. He got kicked out of Planet Fitness, which was his favorite judge-free zone, where he would go every fucking day he was at Planet Fitness, which was his favorite judge free zone, where he would go every fucking day he was at Planet Fitness. He got kicked out because he was recording in the bathroom. And they reported him for that.

He got in trouble at the tanning salon for leaving a mess and hitting on staff. And by mess, I'm assuming there's some fluid. He's seeking a new job. He's taking legal action against the landlord with an attorney for being kicked out of his apartment and for being a prostitute or something there. He believes this is all about jealousy, people don't like him, social discriminat- so here's just like, let's see like kind of a few of these put together, okay?

Yeah, oh dear. How's it going everybody? kind of a few of these put together okay I am very very scared right now. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's gonna happen But a co-worker has now threatened me with my life saying that he is going to snap my neck Very very nervous very very scared for my safety. I don't know. It's very very scary and this is a big boy. This is a big man Yeah, they're making threats towards me. Wow crazy crazy, crazy man. So one of the things about Tony Johns, I like Tony Johns a lot. I really like, but one of the patterns that you see in all these is he's like, here's some shit happening to me,

I don't know where it happened from. And it's like, you know, did a coworker just be like, I'm gonna break your fucking neck for no reason? Because he's like crazy, shit's just wild. Fucking insane that this is happening. You're like, well, something happened, right? And then- He's not taking responsibility.

There's no accountability, yeah. I don't know if it's a plumbing issue or pipes might be clogged. There's another bathroom down here. It's pretty wild out here. I hope he doesn't put me on film, Bonnie. Oh no sir, partner, you want to be on film? I can put you on film if you want. No, you can't actually. Cool, you got it. He doesn't want to be on film, so he won't be on film. You have a good day partner. Got a plumber here talking to me. But yeah, this bad boy's at a commission here. This is a judge-free zone here, sir.

Got a plumber. All right boss. I'm a worker. So that's his other favorite new expression. Judge-free zone. No, worker. He's a worker. I'm a worker. He says it a fucking million times a video, okay? So me and a couple coworkers got into a little scuffle at Walmart nighttime stocking crew. My one coworker was making fun of me because of my past. I used to be really poor.

So I ended up blowing up and blowing blowing off on him and making fun of him because his wife ended up cheating on him with a pastor both these clowns ended up taking off running to the manager and ended up crying and complaining to the manager and I was escorted out. I don't know if that whole story adds up. Yeah what's going on Scott I just got home dude that whole story adds up. Yeah, what's going on? This is landlord I just got home. What's your problem? What's your problem partner? Why do you hate me boss? Okay, I make money fucking women on only fans you're gonna wind up turning into a damn

oh and then eventually you'll be a murderer and then you'd be in prison for the rest of your life no sir and I'm gonna make sure that somebody's watching you for the rest of your life okay no sir I'm a ladies man I'm a performer I'm a performer you're a perverted fuck I'll be up all night doing solo videos jerk it off yes sir Yep. You got a partner. I'll be up all night doing solos, baby Yes, sir. Have a good night partner bags a bag, baby

That's his landlord yikes That's his landlord He's a worker, I mean have you ever spoken to anybody Like that in your life no like especially the land that's not all of it, dude Memberships been canceled at Planet Fitness. You want me to leave or what? Yeah. Okay, I'm out of here. Have a good night. Perfect.

So, uh, they'll be hearing from my lawyer too. Judge Free Zone here. Worker. Judge Free Zone. They'll be hearing from my lawyer. These guys are wild in here, man. It's a Judge Free Zone. That guy's judging me.

That worker's judging me. Seriously, that guy is judging me. From my social media, because I'm a performer and I'm a worker. He's very tan I don't see and I've just been like putting together his obsession with being a worker because he also walked into multiple car dealerships with wrap-around shades a backwards hat a chain He's like you guys hired I can sell the fuck out his cars on live Instagram live and there are live, and the dealerships are like, yeah, why don't you fill out some

paperwork? They're like, who's this fucking lunatic? And he's like, I'm a worker, I'm a worker. And just out here, I'm a worker, man. I don't know if he's like, I thought he was using it as the, I'm just somebody who works hard. But now I think he just uses it as I'm a sex worker. Like, I think he heard.

I think so. I think he heard the term and he adopted it. Like, oh yeah, that's me. I'm a sex worker. You know? Yeah. He shouldn't really tell people a lot. Yeah.

He opened his interview. He's like, I got a couple of DUIs. And the guy was like, that's cool. You know, can I tell you what he's giving me, though? Kind of giving me Fed Smoker. That's the thing. Some people think Fed Smoker has been reincarnated. Oh, for sure.

And I am not against that. Yeah, me either. I'm liking this evolution. You know, we started as a ladies man, just get to D.O.W.A.P. by B. Yeah. And now we're getting aggressive. We're starting to get into fed smoker territory. You're fired, bud.

You sure are. We're getting there. This is turning. This is turning changing my lock. They're changing the locks on this apartment Scott Working working you got my sweetheart right there on the left you What? Working. Working. Working. Oh yeah. Working. Working. You got my sweetheart right there on the left, yeah. There's Scott. You got a sweetie.

Yes sir, 100%. Yep. Perfect. You're not going to pay anymore? No sir. Thank you. Perfect. I'll see you boys in court.

Yes sir. Oh yeah, 100%. I'll see you boys in court. We got workers, thongs. Let's get, I'll see you boys in court. Yep. That's fine with me, partner. That's totally cool with me. I'll see you boys in court. Yep That's fine with me partner. That's totally cool with me. I've been homeless before I'm not scared. I'm a big boy I got my big boy pants on let's go. Whoo. Let's go. So one of the things he's doing Is he's saying

They're like are you gonna pay anymore? He's like fuck. No, I'll see you guys in court. It's like yeah, that's not a good They're like, are you gonna pay any more rent? He's like, fuck no, I'll see you guys in court. It's like, yeah, that's not a good angle for court. They try to throw me out for not paying rent. I wanna sue them. Like, you know. He doesn't have a case. I don't know, man.

Then he goes to the community college. I'm on my way to love. This is how he showed up to apply for jobs like this. He walked into a car dealership like, you guys hiring? But he had a hat on, chains on too. You know the local community college library? Cause the other library I can't go to, but this community college I can go to.

Your boy is going to school. Nice. Boy, what's going on? What's going on? This is crazy. This is crazy. Wow. No, he's getting kicked out. What are you talking about?

That's craziness, man. They're asking me to leave now? This is crazy. I've done nothing wrong. Again, I'm an innocent man. I feel like you have. He says this a lot too. He says, this is crazy.

I've done nothing wrong and I'm an innocent man. And then usually I'm a worker right after that. I feel like you have. I feel like you have. I feel like you have. I feel like you have. I feel like you have. I feel like you have.

I feel like you have. I feel like you have. I feel like you have. I feel like you have. I feel an innocent man. He says this a lot too. He says this is crazy I've done nothing wrong and I'm an innocent man and then usually I'm a worker right after that At least in 15 videos that I've seen I wish I could see what he's doing. That's ramping these folks I think we're gonna get to that in a moment. Oh, thank God I will leave this I'm gonna walk out. I'm just wondering why I've done nothing wrong. It's all craziness I'm gonna leave right now. Yes, ma'am. That's my letter. You did get it, thank you.

This is craziness. Seriously. This is crazy. This is wild. This is crazy. I'm a good man. Seriously. I'm a very good man.

I've done nothing wrong. Seriously. You could just follow us. Craziness. Yes, ma'am. I'll follow you guys right now. I'm gonna go, uh, they're gonna walk me out the building. Yes. Yup. I'm walking out right now.

Tony. Ladies man, crazy. So this is the second library that's asked him to leave. I know and he loves the library. He remember we asked him. That's his favorite place. We were like, he liked the library and you told him what's your favorite book

and he goes, I like magazines. And then we said, what's your favorite magazine? He goes, I can't lie, then we said, what's your favorite magazine? He goes, I can't lie. I love my hustlers. Yeah. We're like at the library. At the library? I don't think they carry that.

Well, you can bring them in. You're like, oh cool. Maybe that's why he's getting kicked out. Here's another. This is, by the way, this isn't taking place over six months. Right. This is just literally like 14 days.

Oof, Tony, Tony. Uh oh. Out here working baby. Trying to make an honest dollar. Out here working. Doing crazy social media videos. It's craziness man. Just trying to make an honest dollar.

His phone's ringing. What else do you hear? Yeah, I got it. This is classic Tony though. This one came down. We grabbed it before it came down. This is the essence of TJ though. This is the Tony Johns I know and love. Little porn in the background. Then the tanning salon sent him some text messages that he posted. I don't know if you want to take that one.

Can you read that? I can't read it, sorry. Oh, Anthony, this is a message from Zoom Tan. It has come to our attention that you left your room in an unsanitary condition multiple times and have been inappropriate with the staff. If this happens again, your account will be terminated. You will be permanently banned from Zoom Tan. He wrote, what are you talking about? Interesting. Let's look at some camera footage. I will be

down later around seven. No. Our salon does not have access to the cameras to review. You are more than welcome to email customer service to speak further. Then he goes, bet, no worries, thanks. I will be down at stuff I had no idea. I love Zoom tan. I can't get kicked out because I need to look good for my line of work. So please understand, I will focus on myself.

I won't hit on any of the front desk ladies anymore. Yes, they are all beautiful, but yes, I will focus on myself and I'll be a good boy. I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I'm sorry. Little accountability there yeah Then the Scott the landlord's back Yo, you're doing you're the one who I just got home what you doing boss? I said what you doing? I'm cleaning your shit! What? Cleaning your fucking shit! Why don't you sign a waiver and get in a ring with me?

Perfect let's go! Okay let's go! Let's go 100% let's go! Let's go! So so so so so this slumlord's guy will hop in a ring with me. You don't sign a waiver? You don't sign a waiver? I'll sign a waiver.

Let's go! 100%! Let's go! You know what we don't need these waivers. No no we need waivers waivers waivers waivers waivers waivers waivers waivers waivers waivers 100% We can sign a waiver. 100% We can no, we need waivers. Waivers, waivers. No, waivers, waivers. 100%. 100%. Look at this guy.

Look at this crazy man. He's lost his mind. Office meds, office meds, total craziness. They don't have to wait. No, hell no. I'm not a prostitute. I don't care. Have a good night, sweetheart.

Yeah. Have a good night. Yes, sweetie, have a good night. Yes, sir. Just a Tuesday. I thought they changed the locks. How is he getting back into the place? Have a good night. Yes, sweetie, have a good night. Yes, sir. Have a good night. Just Tuesday. I thought they changed the locks. How is it getting back into the place? I'm curious about that too.

This is his landlord. Perhaps my favorite of all these is when he did YMH Live, we were like, would you fuck a guy for a million dollars? And he was like, oh no no I don't think so. Maybe Yeah And then we were like, what about like 500,000? He was like, that's a shitload of money. Yeah It was still like a lot of money, you know, and then now he's like everybody ladies man here Hear me out. I got my swig got my bag here

What is he drinking usually Fanta So hear me out and I know this may sound totally wild totally out of this world, but hear me out Me being a poor boy grown up And this may sound wild to a lot of people but me personally dude, I'm loving this only fans money I would do some crazy stuff Gay for pain Let's be straight A hole is a hole but see there's always a price tag on something, you know, yeah ladies man here

I'm just letting everybody know. Hey man, money talks. See? Money talks. See, you know what he figured out? Let's go. With OnlyFans, is that the only people paying for sexual content on OnlyFans is dudes.

It's men, yeah. Women are not paying for that stuff. Well, and the other thing you realize if you are doing that kind of stuff. I'm a worker. You're a worker. You're just working, bro. Do you think he has a bank account though? I'm a ladies man. I'm a performer. No. There's no way he's paid yet. How are they paying?

Well, he has a very, very bad relationship with money. Right. It's extremely bad. I can tell. I mean, look at, look, the, he's got money for the tanning salon, for the fitness membership. His perspective is, if I have money, immediately spend it, because it's just money and more money will come in later. And you're like, what are you talking about?

He spent his money that we gave him in a day. Like he had trouble getting that check cashed. Like he couldn't get it cashed and then he got it cashed and he was like, now I'm gonna spend it all. That's what I mean. Like how long was he? I don't know. God, I wish he would just stay at a Walmart.

Like he needs that structure. I don't know what's going on. He needs a paycheck. Let's find out what's going on. Can we call Tony? All right, let's call Tony. All right, can I push first? I got it. Oh, she wants to pee first.

Can I get a beer? Tony! Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! Yo, bro, how's it going, man? Yo, dude, yo, dog, is this fucking Tom? Yeah, it's Tom and Christina, man. Yo, dude, yo! Woo! Tony! Tom yeah it's Tom and Christina man oh you guys you know like I'm like spaz not

right now because you'll check me out no no ever since I got back from Texas no hear me out yeah my life was legit change 100% because of you crazy guys and I love you guys man. Yo Tom. Yeah, man If I ever get back down to a Texas partner, I want to suck your your big toe. Is that okay? That's an awesome offer man. Thanks. Yes, sir dog, dude You can do you cannot do everywhere I go out here in New York all through upstate everywhere dog Like dude cute girls are checking me out, dog. It's just.

It's a dream come true. I gotta ask you something, man. I have been following like really in detail everything going on on Instagram for the last few weeks. It's been a wild, wild few weeks for you. And so. Yes, sir. I wanna ask something.

So initially I was perplexed that you know the the public library tossed you out that day right crazy it's crazy and you were like this is wild this is crazy but they had to have had some like what was the reason that they kicked you out of the library yes sir so so Tom check me out dude, it's a wild story. Okay. A girl, you know, she was a co-worker at Lowe's. And I know it's not right brother, but you know, beautiful girl.

She, you know, we had some fun on Christmas, and that was the last time I ever saw her. Right. I was taking us some explicit photos sir mm-hmm and I posted them on on Instagram and it was I think Yeah, it was a I don't know dude. It was some explicit photos and fucking Yeah, dude. It's just fucking craziness brother Well, what were the photos, but you Tony you posted photos of you or of her no of me of me 100% of me um I had you know her song in my mouth oh you had oh you had a song in your mouth that makes

sense and then why did you choose to take those photos at the library it's a cool setting but but why? I don't know it's kind of wild to be honest. Yeah, it's kind of wild. I mean you're a worker No, I'm saying yes, sir. I'm due to be honest with you, dude. I I Know man like I was just in the moment in the moment And so what somebody then saw you taking a photo with a thong in your mouth at the public library And then they go hey get out of here. Yeah, well, because dude, I tagged the OnlyFans dog because I've been trying to promote my OnlyFans.

Yeah, let's promote it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, sir. But yeah, dude, to be honest, it was really, really weird photo, but you know, I was just trying to make promotions on my OnlyFans. What can people see on your OnlyFans? Yeah, what are they seeing? Let's talk about OnlyFans. Oh, I people see on your OnlyFans? Yeah, what are they seeing? Let's talk about OnlyFans.

Oh, I'm loving the OnlyFans, you guys, too. Like, I'm getting my bills paid because of adult content. Okay, so hold on here. Make that bigger for me, guys, a little bit. So, for people who want to follow Tony's OnlyFans, it's at Tony Michael John's 9 6 We got people yelling out here on the dry driving Tom people yellin worker worker 100

Tom I made it a hundred percent because of you guys. Well, I'm so happy for you It's um, yo, yo Tom some some crazy ladies yelling out the window worker. Did you hear that? Yeah. Fuck? Yeah, dude That's craziness. Yo, this is what I'm saying, dude like crazy ladies yelling out the window worker did you hear that yeah fuck yeah dude that's craziness yo this is what i'm saying dude like dog i was huge this is crazy it's all just craziness and i'm loving every minute of it brother so um can people see explicit content on your only fans oh 100 that's all 18 plus yes sir tight and uh is there is there yes sir 100 percent dropping explicit they're in loads. Yep. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Shots. Cool. Are you, have you done any, um, oh, so we'll get to this in a second. First of all, very excited

for your only fans, ladies, gentlemen, sign up and, um, subscribe. You can see some awesome adult content on Tony's only fans. What happened at Planet Fitness? I thought they were a judge-free zone. Why did they kick you out? Oh Yeah, so I Am I Didn't read through the contract the the whole contract when I signed the thing That is another crazy story out here Tom. Oh geez partner another crazy story out here tom yeah geez partner so dude I didn't read through the whole paperwork and and there's no there's no allowed like photos taken so I was taking a few you know you few shirts you know a few

photos of my tank top and you know on the massage chair you know trying to relax you know yeah you know there was a a I Was in closed doors to be honest Tom. I took a little only fans a video in the one of the red light therapy rooms there and So they they took it offensive and they said hey get out we don't want your business no more I said no kind of like like I thought you were a judge for his own kind of thing No, I was all confused dude. I even did a live Tom. I was like I went in there cuz I was all shocked I was like whoa, what's going on here guys? You know like judge free zone You know what I'm saying like why am I getting judged for doing? You know, you know making films in the in the in the tanning rooms

Yeah, but Tony do you have somewhere private you can make these films that you just somewhere? See that's another thing to see my See my landlord. Oh Scott is yeah all him and James Chappell. These guys are nuts fucking slum 100% fucking total slum. Can I swear right now Tom? Yeah for sure 100% dog total slum can I swear right now Tom yeah for sure 100% dog holy fuck So yeah, these guys fucking hate me because I'm doing some adult content up in my room So where's where do you stand with them? Are you not paying rent? Oh? No, no hell. No. I'm not so it's oh no. No. I'm not a walking ATM Tom like yo hear me out Yeah, so I paid rent I paid rent. I paid rent.

The whole time I've lived there. And both of these crazy slumlords spazzed out on me a few weeks ago, totally spazzed out. I got it all on film. It's all on Instagram. Check it out. These guys are fucking scumbags.

So yo, Tom, fucking. Yeah, still here. Dude, and I've been all spooked up, all shaken up and shit lately, and they just spazzed out. Where does it stand? We don't promote OnlyFans here. I said, hey, fuck you, motherfuckers.

Yeah. You know, I love, no, hear me out. I love doing adult content. You know, I love showing off for the ladies. Yeah. You know, I'm a worker. Performer. 100%, yes sir.

So where does it stand with them? Cause I saw you put a, looked like a petition, a court filing online. Are you guys gonna be going to court, the two of you? Oh yeah, 100%. I got a jailhouse lawyer. Oh yeah, 100% Tom. And you know, I you? Oh, yeah, I got a job lawyer Oh, yeah, 100% Tom and you know, I'm squatting right now. I'll be honest with you, man Yeah, I try to be as honest as I can. Yo Tom, can I tell you another crazy story, bro, please?

Dude, so when I got back from Texas dog fucking everything's just been so wild and crazy because it's a small town You know, there's like 28,000 people in Auburn maybe 30 Wild and crazy because it's a small town. You know, there's like 28,000 people in Auburn maybe 30 Crazy fucking thing ever dude, I was hopping on the bus dude cuz I usually take the bus I usually go for walks Yeah, and the girl, you know, there was a my you know that blonde girl I was telling you about several months ago do the co-worker a Lowe's yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, dog dude. I love that girl so fucking much Tom you'll point to where dude I would have done anything for this chick and dog fucking dude. I saw her on the bus man And dude, I haven't seen this chick since fucking since Christmas dog that was my Christmas present. I got you know I got lucky but anyways the Oh, yes, sir. I can believe it. I said whoa, what's going on babe? She said oh fuck. No, I ain't sure babe partner Oh, dude was nuts dog. She threatened to spray me took out the can of mace and everything dog. Well, what the fuck man?

I'm like what the fuck's going on like I really fucking liked her dude. I'm like what the fuck Tony Sweetie, do you do you have a bank account that you can link the only fans to are you getting paid? Yes, ma'am. I do on the... Yes, ma'am. Okay. So you're getting your money from OnlyFans. That's good.

That's good. So if you're doing that, and then can you find a new place to live? Yeah, yeah. I'm just looking on Craig's List and other places right now, but right now I... I don't know. It's up in the air. Maybe a week and maybe a month. I don't know, I'm just kinda trying to figure it out. Let me ask you this.

I noticed that you posted screenshots from Zoom Tan and they had said in the screenshots that you had left the tanning room you were in in an unsanitary condition. What are they exactly, what did you do in there? So I like my lotion, Tom. And I mean, it might have looked bad for the worker, the lady worker's perspective. But I, I don't know, dude, I was in a rush, Tom,

to catch the bus to go back home. And I don't know, dude. I was in a rush Tom catch the bus to go back home and I don't know dude. I there was quite a bit of lotion all over my body man, and yeah You know so I did make a mistake there. I did kind of trash the room before I left. That's not good Now you know are you on good terms with them now? Did you go down there and work it? Oh, yes Yes, so what I did is I actually went down there and I actually did apologize, Tom. Good, good, good. You know, I'm a sincere dude. I said, hey, I made a mistake. Yes, ma'am. You know, it was one of the lady workers. I'm very respectful towards women.

I said, hey, you know, I made a mistake. You know, and I asked them nicely, can I get my membership back? They said, no, but we appreciate your honesty. Just saying sorry, so that's what I did. Got you. I also noticed, because it was very compelling to watch, that you went to a few car dealerships to try to get hired to sell cars. Did any of them make an offer?

No, no, no. I wish, man. I don't have a license yet, Tom, so I, man, I would love to get back in the selling car industry because I am a really good salesman. I think I would. I believe it, yeah. You're a worker. I bet you would be a really good car salesman.

You love people, you love talking to people. Yeah. That's a great gig. Meet new customers. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, I mean Christina. I'm good, sweetie I I'm I'm just glad to hear how happy you are and I like that loving all this good I like that only fans is working out for you and you mentioned in your stories that Maybe you would consider doing some videos for for the guys because I think guys actually pay quite a lot more

than women. Oh yes man. So tell me about that. What's that? Hey you know if there if there's a big performer out there that's willing to you know you know put me out you know I'd love to you know like straight up like blow my back out you know I mean if the money's good hey I, I'm gay for pay, a hole's a hole, partner. That's awesome. I think what you should do. But it's right, you know, I need some cash and a hole's a hole.

That's right. I think what you should do, because we've been in touch with Alexis and we're working on getting this scene going with her as your debut. You're still down to do that, right? Oh, 100%, I'm ready, let's go. Yeah, so that's gonna happen pretty soon.

I think what you should do is debut with Alexis and then maybe have your next scene be with a male star. And we actually know one, we know one. Oh nice, fuck yeah, no, for real, Tom, like let's go, let's do this. I think we should reach out to him. I think so, yeah. Because that would be a great back to back debut.

Yeah, because I think this is actually your lane. I think you may have found your talent Tony. Yeah. Yes, no. Keep going. Keep going. Yes ma'am. But try to find somewhere more private maybe. I don't want you to end up in jail. Okay. Yeah, don't get kicked out of another place. Film in your place for now or a place that allows that kind of thing but like Libraries and stores and stuff. It's just like it's just asking for craziness. Yeah, I don't want you to get in trouble. Yes, sir Yeah, thanks Tom. I really appreciate you guys always looking out for me So let's yeah, let's keep The guys are gonna reach out to you because I think we're gonna have a schedule for you to go see Alexis here pretty soon and

Hopefully after that, you know know we'll do our next series yeah yeah yeah yeah and we'll fly you out there we're gonna fly you out to Vegas so hopefully I think he's gonna stay in Vegas Vegas might be the where you love to live I think you might like Vegas a lot. Yeah, I think maybe you should pack all your shit. Yeah, I think you should Let's go, yeah, I'll grab fucking a couple's suitcases and fucking yes, let's go. I think you should yes ma'am Yeah, I had something I think it's time to leave Man like straight up Tom like this is amazing Christina like life-changing what you guys about for me listen It's time to leave Auburn. I think you're right. It's time to change and level up. You're ready. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah You're a worker now, dude

Vegas is a very judgment-free zone. Yeah, it's like the city of Vegas is like a Planet Fitness, you know, yeah Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, you gotta go, that's where you gotta be. Yeah. Guys, can Zolo, can you guys get him a schedule soon here so we can kind of lay this out? Okay, cool. All right, Tony, thanks for the follow-up. Stay out of trouble, don't get arrested.

Don't get arrested. And you know, just- No, I won't. Keep the comments. Yes, I will stay out of trouble and I will not get arrested I thank you for everything you guys are you know like this really has been life-changing cougar Josh. I love you all man I'll suck all your toes

Don't forget any he's big on that All right, Tony, we'll talk to you soon, man. Take care of yourself. Yes, thanks, you guys. Okay, bye, sweetie. Bye, later. Wow. Wow.

Why'd I tell you, if we aren't making dreams come true. That's just unreal. You guys ready to get your toes sucked? That's a new thing, I haven't heard that before. I mean, that they offer money, he's just like, I need to suck your toes now. I'm just like. Yeah, but what a great lane for him.

I think sucking on dude's toes, like that's easy money too. There's so much, many people willing to pay for that. Of course there is. And I think he's, you know, here's the thing. He's kind of like a savant secret, smart businessman. He doesn't realize that he is, I think, finding his lane, which isn't gay performing. Of course.

That is where the money is for a male. Of course, for a male performer, I think finding his lane, which isn't gay performing like that is Where the money is for a male of course for a male performer? That's where the money is and I think sending him to Vegas is gonna change his life now We saw a couple quick screenshots, and we don't have to see them again But cougar did you have a chance to review Tony's only fans? Yes, I did could you could you give us a review? Well, if you're into solo work if you're into oiled up cocks that are slightly askew and Yeah, and are the perfect size for a performer

Tony's page is the page for you. What's what's your review of his dong? Is it like a nice-sized dong? Yeah, I'd say so. Yeah? Definitely. And he goes to completion? Yes, he does. Yeah. Because he's a worker.

How's that load? Good size? Perfect. Yeah? God, I wish Robert Paul's champagne were into skinny white guys. Oh my god. Wouldn't that be the perfect matching?

Oh my god. Right, I see the look in your eyes. That would have been the best. Do you think Robert would go for Tony Johns? He's meat, it's fresh meat. I know, the look in your eyes, I saw it. I know, you just planted a seed. Best idea ever, right?

Maybe we can get him to do a cameo in the scene? Why not? I'm very busy right now. ever right maybe we can get him to do a cameo in the scene why not you know how hard he has to nail down though he's so busy he's got his Coney Island karaoke thing and he's doing Lucifer's lair he's always busy what if yeah what if yeah bro I feel like I'm sitting here like as Walt Disney in the 1930s, feeling like, what if we built a place where people could just lose themselves? Yes. And have fun all day.

I mean, essentially, he's doing what Robert Paul Champagne does too. Yeah. But Robert doesn't do OnlyFans. I know. Maybe he should. What if Robert makes a cameo in the scene? I think so. Dude.

Oh my God. Can we get on this? Can we reach out? Maybe RPC will. He's always advertised himself as a adult actor. Of course. This is insane. This is insane.

Wow. Oh my God. Yeah, that was a lot, man. That was a lot. I really do think that once Tony gets to Vegas, he's gonna see that that's where he's meant to be. Don't you feel like that's- Yes. Arbor, New York is not the right place for that.

He's gotta get out of there. It's too small of a community. He's menacing the community. He needs to go to Vegas where there's a lot of weird shit going on. Where he's just like another guy. He just fades into the background. Yeah, because... this idea for the scene... Yeah.

The Lexus being Officer Alexis, and maybe Officer Cumdump, which is RPC's alter ego. I mean, this is a whole new line we're doing here. I think they're gonna sell a lot of those fucking scenes, man. Of course. But man, his life has been insane. I mean, the irony with Tony Johns

is that this whole I'm a ladies man thing and this and that, like, he kind of does have the dung for porn. Yeah. I mean, God gave him a talent. Yeah. Like, go with it have the dong for porn. Yeah, I mean God gave him a talent Yeah, like go with it kid do it. Sometimes you're just given one thing. Can't wait He is the Dirk Diggler like what? Yeah, okay, and what was Dan Soder said Dan Soder was like he's like Dirk Diggler. I think he might be yeah

You don't get it all in this life. You don't get it all but when you get it boy, you got one thing You got to use what you got. Yeah, there don't get it all in this life. You don't get it all, but when you get it, boy, you got one thing. You gotta use what you got. Yeah, there he is, dude. Yeah. Tony, Tony, Tony. I mean, he kind of is Dirk Diggler. He is. Yeah.

Wild, dude. Okay, just real quick before, let's just, we kinda gotta cleanse the power. I'm like blown away. Are you blown away? Yeah, this whole thing is just, it's unbelievable. This story is one of the, it's the greatest storyline of all time.

It is the greatest. I can't believe we're in Tony John's life now. Yeah. It's amazing. Here you go. Okay. Oh! Doing donuts.

Oh. Do you see it? No. Slow mo. Okay. The guy drifting hits a cone watch the cone the cone Just knocks that guy out Here's full speed That cone hits him so hard so fast that's such bad look I don't think that was funny guys

That was just stupid that was stupid dudes dudes will do anything to impress dudes dudes will do anything to impress even I was fucking dumb push-ups and over cinder blocks on a bottle with classic plates You guys really put some cool music doing that was reallyhhh Cougar liked it That guy's fucked Yeah, of course. I don't like that That guy is fucked

No thanks Dude, what? Some of the handlebars I don't like them at all, dude You got it! You don't like at all, dude. You got it! You don't. Man, okay. That was terrible.

Yeah, I'm just... You got excited about RPC and Tony Johnson. Yeah, it's really funny. I saw the creative wheels turning when I said it. Your eyes lit up in a way. Well, I mean, I'm just thinking of the possibilities. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I know. It's 15 years of work.

I know. I think this is like, this is how you retire this show. Right, there's nothing else we can do. Now, the only other thing I would say is Norm Summerton, Tick Cups. Oh my God. There's two cool guys that got away. Yeah.

King Ass Ripper. King Ass Ripper, yeah. Never wanted to do the show. We reached out to him for years and years and years. And Norm Sammerton. Those are the only two cool guys that got away on this from the show. I need to be fucked a lot.

But RPC. Now here's the thing. Tony Johns said he would get his back blown out, meaning he would be his back blown out, meaning he would be on the receiving end. RPC likes to be on the receiving end. I wonder if we could get Tony to make sweet love to RPC. Wow.

Wow. Whoa, hold on. Come check it out. It's a mile to wild to kink. I don't know, dude. I don't know. I don't think that Tony's his type. That's the only problem.

Well, yeah. Aw, get off! Well, it's pay. He's like, I'll do things for money. I think the two of them would J their Ds. To each other. Together. Just look at each other.

Because they love to do that on camera anyway. Yeah, yeah. Here's the deal, man. Well, here's the deal. We need to get through this Alexis shoot first I think we're getting a little too far ahead of ourselves. Yeah, I know it's just exciting when inspiration strikes. Okay This is the last thing we'll do I have not been able to finish this video Because it makes me so uncomfortable. Okay, so like I okay. So you understand that a few times I've been alone just with my phone, tried to watch this and turned it off.

So I'm making myself finish it with you guys today. This is a lady giving a speech at her friend's wedding. Okay. Fuck, and if you don't like it, I'm not gonna like it either. Like if you can't watch it, there's no way I can watch it. It's just so, it feels so,

it's like your inner- Is it too emotional? It's just embarrassing. I hate emotional shit. Hi, I'm Shannon. I've known Tracy for a while. I think so. Just to stop this for a second, if you're listening, she's at a wedding of her friend Shannon. Shannon just for reference is white and she's marrying a black guy. So they're

showing their image just so you know the context of this. And then the lady giving the speech is also white. So I started with a more short 30, two, 30, 30, yeah. So I don't quite know Anthony that well, but Tracy talked about you like, no, it's not.

Seriously. And she'd be like, I mean, don't do that. I'm like, I don't care. Just kidding, just kidding. I Hate when people do that. Yeah, they do that every wedding. So far you just like yeah it's just a fucking basic bitch speech. Wow. Just kidding. But yeah you guys are so cute. Like you're part of the family. Yes. God like I'm not gonna be racist guys. I'm just saying okay. I'm gonna be racist okay. No just kidding just kidding just kidding. Um at first you guys are gonna get the like interracial counts. No seriously you guys are out stepping the stereotype. I love it.

Seriously, you guys are out-stepping the stereotype. I love it. I don't. Because I swear, I love black people because you guys are the best. She didn't have to say it. She could have just saw it and not said it. I'm not going to say it. You're black. It's cool. I know. I'm not gonna say it. You're black.

And it's cool. I know, I'm just kidding. It's, you guys are like, I'm not gonna be racist, but like it's fine that you're. Yeah. Like every time this thing starts, I'd like, oh my God, I can't finish this. Oh, it's terrible.

Yeah, she didn't have to talk. Yeah. You don't have to talk. She's clearly nervous. She doesn't know what to say. And she's like, God, I can't not address the fact that he's black. Yeah, but you can.

It's 2012. Of course you can. No one cares. This isn't 1960. It's so weird. It's so weird. Where the fuck do these people live that it's a big deal? I don't know.

Well, I love that you hear the commentary of the person who's like, oh my God, what? Like, she's pointing it out. No, it's horrible. Yeah. It's horrible. Remember that one wedding you and I went to where the dad gave kind of a backhanded speech?

Yeah. He's like, we didn't think much of him when we met him. Oh my God. And we were like, um. That was so weird. Yeah, so this is. And that guy was South Pacific, right? Like he was like Samoan or something.

Yeah. And yeah, the guy was like, I met him and I was like, I don't give a fuck. This guy looks different. Yeah, totally. And we were like, what the fuck, dude? What are you doing, man? I just don't think, I don't even know why people have to give speeches

at weddings, honestly. What the fuck do you need to say? I hate giving speeches. I hate giving speeches at things like this. Maybe the father of the bride or the parents say something, but like your dumb, dumb friend has to get up drunk. That's the worst. And not only that, you know how,

like they're not used to giving speeches, so they're very banal and boring and get up drunk. That's the worst. And not only that, you know how, like they're not used to giving speeches, so they're very banal and boring and basic bitchy. Yeah. Oh my God, when Stacey and I met in college, I was like, Stacey, you're such a whore. You're never gonna get married. Like they're always the same formula. Cause they're just not.

Take care of my girl. Equipped to do it. It's not interesting. I mean, and you can see that there's black people in the room. Yeah. So it's like, what are you doing? I'm not good. I'm not gonna be racist like well, thanks I didn't think you were and don't come to the post to Like I know this is a great opportunity to be racist, but I'm not going to for the sake of the setting I Know and if she didn't approve of the groom, then why are you don't go to the wedding?

Don't be a part of the wedding party or whatever. It's insane. It's a totally insane thing To the black people you guys are amazing Okay, so that is her speech She doesn't know black people are the comments cool because there's 9,000 of them I Physically can't watch yeah, see I felt embarrassed this bearish embarrassment just watching. I'm hiding in the comments. Yeah, this is how I felt. I just got so goddamn uncomfortable. Yeah. The clapping to let her know you're finished. Yeah. The mic would have been gone. Yeah. Imagine having to live with the memory of doing... Yeah, it's just... Oh my God. The the whole thing is just. And not everybody has to talk.

Yeah, the secondhand embarrassment is just. It's pretty gnarly, dude. It's gnarly, it's gnarly. But what's really gnarly is that this could have just been a memory without a video. Also, is that, I mean, I'm not an expert in this, is that a good wedding attire she's wearing? No, I was just gonna say that she's dressed like a whore

for a wedding. For a wedding. To me, can I tell you what the subconsciously tells me is that she doesn't she doesn't want to be a part of it She doesn't like the guy that's the subconscious thing right because she's not she's dressed kind of slutty It means also wedding like what every time she's talked about Shannon to somebody else she'd be like, you know this she's with a black guy Yeah, and she's like, you know how fucking crazy that is, right? And then the other person goes like, no, it's not a big deal.

I don't know. And then she's like, I mean, no, I don't have a problem with it. I don't have a problem. I'm just saying, I'm just saying like, do you know he's black? And they're like, yeah, I didn't know. Well, her dress is so short.

She's gonna marry him. So short. She's gonna fucking marry this guy. I'm not gonna marry this guy. It's too low cut and it's too short. She looks like she's going out. Like for a night out. She wants the attention.

She's all over the map. This chick's messed up. Here's something I've been holding on to for a while. I guess I'm just gonna let it out here at the wedding. It is crazy that Anthony is black. And no I'm not gonna be racist. I'm just saying. It is fucking, it's kinda crazy. Okay, well you guys are awesome couple.

It's like what the fuck. But then it's I like black people, my. You guys are amazing. My friends. I love your videos. I love your songs. I love Dave Chappelle. Anyway, so Obama was cool. Guys, have a great life together.

I'm sure I'll see you guys down the road. I love the way you guys dance. It's fucking amazing. My great, my nephew's great aunt is black. Is black. She's nice. You guys always have so much fucking flair. Your style.

Oh my God, look at her hair. I wish I could do that with my hair. Anyway. Yeah, it's making me uncomfortable already. Yeah, it's so, yeah, it was like she couldn't hold on to her inner, like her repressed inner thoughts had to come out. Or, okay, or if you're gonna do it,

just make one funny joke and be done. One comment, but not even, like, actually has to be genuinely funny, which is kind of hard to do in today's day and age like we've all heard Yeah, the interracial couple jokes. I'm trying you know what I mean What are you gonna say? Well, here's the thing. She'll have to live with us for the rest of her life. Oh, yeah, she's fucked Yeah, this is fucked. All right. I think that's um, I'm just so emotional still about the Tony Johns of it all I know you are babe. I don't know

Oh, hey buy my lipstick guys Christina P calm You get the perfect for all four of my new shades Christina P calm check it out. Try it out. Get them all they're fantastic I'm wearing the perfect red And let me tell you this let me tell you this the talk my tongue. Can you kick cat talk to you say nice? We released some new dates, so they are on sale Pre-sales today if you're if you're watching the show if you're listening code word is Tommy the on sale is Friday the fourth we are hitting Greenville Evans Windsor Dayton Akron Daytona Beach Westa Beach, West Palm Beach, Clearwater,

Fort Myers, Allentown, Poughkeepsie, Meschentucket, Newark, Brooklyn, Westbury, Hanover, Gary, West Lafayette, Fort Wayne, Bloomington, Amrio, Lubbock, El Paso, Tucson, Colorado Springs, Green Bay, Pasadena, Las Vegas, Long Beach, Friant, Tacoma, Oakland, Huntsville, Birmingham, Columbia, and there is one or two more secret, huge ones coming up that we will announce soon. All the tickets are at tomscuro.com slash tour, and I always try to tell people, do not go to third party sites.

For any artist you wanna see live, go to their website. Do not pay the scalpers. Just buy it for the reasonable price on the artist's site. Okay, that's it. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for listening. I cannot wait to see how this unfolds and we will see you guys

Next week my jeans Fart Simpson and grass kingdom I'm gonna be having girls the whole weekend They're gonna be squirtin' They're gonna be squirtin' Squirtin' Squirtin' Squirtin' squirtin' squirtin' squirtin' Baby these skinny hoes are just Fuckin' away

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