Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - A Message From Our New President w/ Special Appearance by Donnell Rawlings | YMH Ep. 784
Episode Date: November 6, 2024Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Head to https://CoorsLight.com/YMH to get a Coors Light delivered straight to your door. Try VIIA! https://bit.ly/...viiaymh and use code YMH! This week on Your Mom's House Podcast, the Main Mommies are back together for a very presidential episode! Tom opens the show with an audio clip of President Lyndon B Johnson ordering some new pants, before playing a message from the brand new president of YMH Studios New Christine! She's got some BIG ideas to make the show greater and is really into cactus videos for some reason. Tim and Tina then move on to discuss some trending killers from TV, including the Dating Game killer, the Menendez brothers, and on that same topic, they also address the Garth Brooks allegations. They also share some stuff they're dealing with in their personal lives, talk about #FartWalk, laugh at some old men doing silly things, check out a tight realtor, and speculate on what's happening with Frankie Valli. Tom and Christina also get a massive surprise visit from comedian Donnell Rawlings to cap things off! This is a great episode, so pull up them jeans and try it out, we got some real slick stuff here. Your Mom’s House Ep. 784 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinaponline.com/tour-dates https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This week I will be in San Diego at the Pechanga Arena on November 8th and I'll be in Phoenix at
the Footprint Center on November 9th. Next month I'll be in New Orleans, Louisiana at the Lakefront
Arena on December 7th and I'll be in Pensacola, Florida at the Pensacola Bay Center on December
8th. All the tickets are at TomSegura.com slash tour. Welcome to your mom's house.
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Welcome to another episode of your mom's house.
It is great to be back in studio.
We have been working hard outside of here.
It's always fun to come back.
This is my most favorite thing that we do.
It is so much fun.
Together.
Yes, we raise family.
Yes, we make marital love way better
than all the stuff we do together.
Yeah.
Than having a family.
This is so much more fun.
So boring. That's so much more work. So much and so tiring. Yeah. It's so tiring all the stuff we do together. Yeah, is that having a family? This is so much more fun So boring, that's so much more work so much and so tiring. Yeah, I'm tired all the time
If you were like we want to swap out family for more podcasts. I'd be like, yeah
Killer man. Yeah dog
Congratulations to the new president of the United States good luck
Anyway anyway of the United States. Good luck. Anyway.
Anyway, so much going on, so much has happened
since we've been in here.
There's a lot to cover.
We've just been very busy.
I've been working on my series.
I know.
So I've been in production.
It's been nice having you home, I have to say.
It's been very nice.
I've been thrilled.
I haven't had a time off the road like this like where I'm still working
But not in that capacity in a long time. I know you're you're a traveling salesman for a living
I travel all the time and this is really nice to be shooting in Austin
Oh my gosh, you know and like getting to go to work like sleep in your own bed
Get up in the morning go to work come back. in your own bed, get up in the morning, go to work, come back. Take a shit. Take, yeah, I always shit, yeah.
And I will say, and I've said this to agent jeans
and to the executives that came to visit your set
the day I was there, that I have never seen you this happy.
Yeah.
Ever, truly.
And I really hope you continue to make television
or film or whatever it is, because I,
you work these 12 hour days, 14 hour days, six, seven
days a week and you come home and you're thrilled. And you're never complaining and you're never
like upset. And I have to say, I don't want to, I'm not going to talk about what the show is,
but I think this is the culmination of 20 years of you in comedy. I think it is by far the greatest
thing you've done creatively because it's all the things you wanted to put into a project.
And I'm so stoked for people to see it and I think it's going to be huge. I think people are really going to love it.
Well, that remains to be seen, but I will say that I am having a really good time and I do find it really fulfilling.
Like it really is creatively fulfilling. It's so much fun to have been a part of developing this thing,
writing it, and now producing and acting.
And then I got to direct some too, which I'd never been able to.
You know what's great is you're an actor, director, writer, producer.
You know what I'm saying? I'm a choreographer.
You know what I'm saying? I dance and shit. I DJ. You know what I mean?
And just like I'm a multi hyphenate. You know what I'm saying?
You are that guy now. Yeah. DJ, you know what I mean? And just like, I'm a multi hyphenate, you know what I'm saying?
You are that guy now.
Yeah.
But you legit are.
And I will say that I got to watch you direct,
I came to set.
Yep.
And I was like, this is where my jeans
should have always been.
This is the perfect pair of jeans for you.
It is pretty nice.
I'm thrilled that you found it.
It was fun.
And I know, you know, I took advantage of the fact
that it's my show and I was like,
I've always wanted to direct.
Because I knew if I was like, hey, can you get me a directing job?
Everyone would be like, no.
So on this one, I was like, hey, I want to direct something.
And they were like, OK.
So I just took advantage of it.
And that's how you do it.
Yeah.
And that's how you do it, kids.
You build the opportunity for yourself.
I think that was brilliant of you.
It's exciting.
You're a brilliant man, Somsagor.
I'm glad I married you. You're the one. You're the winner. I'm glad I married you. You're the one, you're the winner.
I'm glad I married you too, Jean.
Really?
Thanks.
Of course.
There's so much to, we really have a lot to cover today.
So much, dude, bro.
That I feel like we should just get into it.
Can we get into it?
I'd love to.
I've got a lot to share.
Let's start the show.
Let's keep it presidential for the opening.
Here we go.
Yeah.
Mr. Hager?
Yes, it's Joe Hager.
You all made me some real light weight slacks
and they're real light weight now i need about six pairs for some aware
the pocket when you sit down in the chair
the knife and your money comes out so i needed at least another inch in the
pocket
another thing that crotch down where your nuts hang is always a little too
tight. It's just like riding a wire fence. When I gained a little weight they cut me under there.
So let's see if you can't leave me about an inch from where the zipper ends
around under my back from my bunghole. If you get those tummy. I was sure be grateful Mom's house with Tom Segura What? President Johnson. I didn't know I liked him so much. You know what I like when he's like
back to my bunghole. Yeah, but I know what he's talking about. That line that goes, it
cuts under my cooch sometimes too and I hate it. Imagine if you had a pair of nuts down
there. Dude. Well you might soon. Right? Well, considering it. I am considering it now that
I've had the double mastectomy. I do have implants, but I could go flat and I could go through with the hormones and everything
and be the man I've always wanted to be.
Could be.
It's just a matter of who you are and who you want to be.
The...
Can't wait.
The cool thing about Johnson, first of all, proud Texan.
We're happy to have you, sir.
Yeah, he was known to like, he called his penis jumbo and he would show it to people and
He also I think he had a showerhead installed in the White House for his asshole
He was like I need a something to wash my asshole out. That's what we believe in
Yeah, pretty cool guy. I'd be voting for him today. Pretty cool. I like that. He belched on that call
So do I? Yeah, he is a man. I'm sure be grateful
Where do you want to send him? White House?
It sounds just like it sounds like the guy that maintains the yard. Yeah. Calling for it. You're like who is that? Oh, that's the president of the United States. The belch was a tad disrespectful.
It just was. I mean, yes, I make phone calls on the toilet as I'm peeing and shitting but I don't burp into the phone
with Brendan
Yeah, pretty crazy man speaking of presidents. We actually got a
Message from our president. So why don't we just go ahead and take a look at that before we go any further
Welcome back Christine. I'm glad you're feeling better. I love you and Tom together
I love you and Tom together. You guys are so, so hot.
Thank you guys so, so much for making me the president.
I had so much fun with you guys, like, watching the special needs chefs
and then fat people at Disney.
Oh, and then what was that guy's name?
Duncan. Duncan with the P.
I'm already so hard at work you guys being the president I think what the podcast needs and the office is
Sexy those little clips that you guys do. It's way sexier. Then why don't you guys just play videos of like cactus?
We need it. I think that's what's gonna make it thrive. I think that's what the viewers want. So yeah
Anyway, new Christine, new president, signing off.
That's fucking crazy. I never thought of that. What does she want? Videos of sexy?
Sexier stuff, first of all, which makes sense. We should have sexier content.
And then cactus stuff, which we've never even discussed. What do you mean cactus stuff?
Like the plant? Like cactus? I think so. Is that what she's saying? I don't even understand what Which we'd never even we've never discussed cactus stuff like a plant like cactus
Is that what she's saying? I don't even understand what that is. There's videos here for us to play. I guess that she flagged
This is for all the cactus loving content people out there. This is my newest cactus
I picked up for seven dollars the other day
I believe this is the blue candle cactus and I just realized I've said cactus like three times already
How could you not like this thing? It is super cool like look at that
It's just yeah, it's pretty sweet has all these little thorns or spines
Pretty pokey gotta watch out for them
I just repotted it in this terracotta pot the soil that I came in was really not good
It wasn't a well draining so I put it in a new cactus mix
It's got lots of perlite, and it's just a well-draining soil, so I put it in a new cactus mix that's got lots of perlite
and it's just a well-draining mix.
Now, I want this to be in my self-fissing window, but I can't just put it right there
in full sun, otherwise it's probably going to get a little bit of burn.
So I'm going to put it off to the corner here.
Oh, very smart.
A little bit of morning direct sunlight, but I think it'll do well in the spot.
And then once it acclimates to this location, then I'll put it in full Sun
But otherwise, I think that's me it thanks for watching. See ya
That's fucking cool, man. I didn't first of all
I never knew that if you put it in direct Sun you could burn it was a cactus is it doesn't it live indirect Sun
Why are you I mean, it's so stupid. This is stupid
We're not gonna put cactus cactus hot cacti in the office
Is that what she wants us to do and and inform the audience about it? Yeah. Oh my god
This is such a dummy a dummy idea. No, it's not. It's a dummy Tom. Do you guys think it's dumb?
No, definitely not
No, really. No, okay
I'm pretty engaged. I'm not gonna lie. That was a pretty cool fact. It's pretty cool. It is one to know about more about cactuses
It's pretty cool. Yeah, but he doesn't-
Today I'm going to show you how to water a cactus.
This is my blue candle cactus, and it's just soaking up all that extra spring sunlight.
Down here is a pincushion cactus.
Oh, wow.
It's got these beautiful pink blooms right now.
Look at that.
It looks absolutely gorgeous.
Gorgeous.
First thing you want to look for is to make sure that the soil is absolutely bone dry,
and sometimes you might even see a little bit of wrinkling on the plant like this one.
That just means it's dehydrated.
And it needs a good thorough watering.
Don't be scared to give these plants a lot of water.
As long as they're in an appropriate soil,
as well as a terracotta pot with a drain hole,
then you shouldn't be able to overwater these.
You can see there's a little bit of kind of bubbling here.
It's just dry air pockets.
So I'm gonna keep giving it water until the
tightness of the plant is thoroughly saturated.
That's how you do it.
You give it more, you water is thoroughly saturated.
I do have another one here as well.
Same thing, it's in a cactus.
It's in a plastic pot, but it does have drain holes.
So I'm just gonna let that drain through
until it comes out the bottom.
Sometimes you might even have to let it soak
in a container just so it can get saturated.
Otherwise, that's all I do.
Thanks for watching.
Well, I could tell you right now, speaking for the audience, they're going to want a
lot more of this. So I would...
This is so dumb.
It is not dumb.
Nobody wants more cactus content. He's not even sharing actual information about the
cactuses.
He just showed us first of all, how to manage sunlight and how to water it.
Like five times the same information over and over.
It's very cool.
I think the audience gets it, guys. I don't think they get it. Like five times the same information over and over. It's very cool. I think the audience gets it, guys.
I don't think they get it.
Oh my God.
So pull a lot more cactus videos.
Will do.
And also a huge thank, obviously,
to our president, New Christine.
President Stupid Tits.
You know her tits are big and fake too.
I can bake tits like that too.
Big fucking deal, I can buy them.
When you get like this, it's so unattractive.
What are you talking about? Just let her fucking deal, I can buy them. When you get like this, it's so unattractive. What are you talking about?
Just let her fucking guide us.
Oh my God.
Thank you, New Christine,
and thank you for your guidance.
You know, it's a really rude, this is rude.
It's not rude.
You know what, this brings me to my first topic
I would like to discuss, Tom.
I watched a Megan Fox movie.
Subservience.
Subservient.
It's a spoiler alert, what I'm about to say.
Okay, guys, but see if you can tell where this is headed.
It's Megan Fox, who's a big fat dog, ugly yucky.
Yucky, is it a good movie?
I'll tell you that in a minute.
But here's the deal, man, is that it's a Megan Fox robot
that you can hire to live in your house
and take care of your kids and do your laundry and cook
And clean what do you think's gonna happen to the alone guy?
Single dad who has the Megan Fox robot in the house. What do you think's gonna happen?
I think his peepee is gonna grow at some point
Does it spoiler alert?
He fucks her ah and his wife
His wife's in the hospital and he's lonely.
Yeah.
Why is she in the hospital?
It's a fantasy.
She needs a heart transplant.
Oh boy.
I know, so it's heavy, right?
Yeah.
And he's all sad cause he's so, he's super horny
and like his fucking wife's being all lazy in the hospital
with her heart stuff.
Well, he's probably grieving too.
I mean, cut him a little fucking slack. Yeah, he's grieving and he's horny.
Yeah, of course.
He doesn't know how to deal with the emotions of the trauma.
Oh, and so...
Sometimes they channel through you differently, you know?
Through your peener?
Sure, and then you're like,
oh, fuck, there's a robot here?
Exactly.
Not only that, a Megan Fox robot.
And she's like, she's all like, Tom, she's all like,
I want what you want.
Whatever you want makes me happy.
I serve you.
And so his boner grows and grows,
and then one day, dude, he fucking busts nuts in her,
and then what do you think happens?
There's a baby robot grow inside of her?
I wish.
No, the wife finds out.
How?
Is she getting her heart fucking transplanted?
She did, she gets a dumb baboon heart or whatever,
she comes home.
She's like.
And then the robot overrides her programming
and becomes kind of a,
oh, she's all, that's my family now bitch.
Like come on, we saw that coming.
Okay.
Anyways, so fucking wife finds out.
Yeah.
And she's all, she's all put that fucking robot
in the basement.
So then now Megan Fox is downstairs in the basement and husband home. He's like, what's up, babe?
She's like you tell me you fuck the robot you fucked Megan
Oh stop that's Kate. So I was kind of like
Big deal big diff. It's basically like a dildo with a personality in a hot face. Yeah cheating
I mean, it's a robot
Is it I mean, that's okay. Do you think the what's it called? What's
those like fuck sleeves that people?
That's what I was thinking about.
What are they called? Flesh lights.
If your flesh light had a personality and like a hot face on it, does that change the
nature of the masturbation?
I mean, I guess it changes it in that it's you're you're upping the
game right? It's like it's becoming more real to your brain. Right. Right. Then does
it become cheating if you fuck a sex robot? And then I started thinking
because it's got serious philosophical implications. It does. It does. Yeah.
Would it be cheating if I had like you know those those life size flesh dolls that these pervert guys get?
And they're heavy as shit. She's, this one's 200 pounds.
And she just like lays it on the couch and fucks it and then puts her vagina in the dishwasher to clean it out.
What if I had a fuck robot, Carl, and he's in the closet.
Yeah.
And I was like, all right, Tom, I'm just going to go fuck Carl.
I'll be right back.
Yeah.
Like it's first of all, What would that do to you?
I know, well, a couple of things is like any woman
that has bought a fuck doll robot.
You're like, this woman, she's like,
she's real fucked up, I think.
Well, yeah, we've had female comics on here
that would probably do that.
Probably, I mean, I think it would like fill the role
for a lot of people.
Yeah.
You know, who don't have someone.
Sure.
But it's still not a human being. It's a robot.
It's not.
But it sounds like what this is about is how convincing is the robot.
Exactly.
Because right now, if you were like, I'll get the best version available, it's still gonna be...
Yeah, it's like...
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celebrate responsibly. Wait, bring up those real dolls.
And also, what's the guy, how is that the current best doll fuck you? It just goes,
like, it's just like a, it's a gun, you know?
That's what the women look like currently. Yeah.
The fuck dolls.
I mean, would you be mad if I fucked that doll?
Okay, but if it looked like Megan Fox in this movie.
No, no, no, stop saying that.
No, the doll, I'd be seriously worried for you.
It's kind of worrying, but here's the thing.
I guess if it looked human, more human,
then you're like, well, what are you doing this for?
I'm like, what, it's a doll.
I'm just fucking a doll. Right, but then the're like, well, what's, what are you doing this for? I'm like, what? It's a doll. I'm just fucking a doll.
Right.
But then the more human it gets, cause Megan Fox is programmed to be more human
than you're like, but you're banging a human.
You know, it's, it's human-like it's so it's better to keep them creepy and
inanimate is what I'm saying.
Well, here's the thing though.
The appeal to the amount of people, like the people who see the creepy dolls and go like,
yeah, I'm not interested, like myself,
I'd be like, I don't wanna fuck that thing.
Right?
You go, what would appeal to you?
A more human one.
But then it's still not human though.
I know, but I'm telling you, watch this movie.
So is your, what's your verdict on it?
Cause at first I was like, why is this bitch crying?
Like, it's just a fuck robot.
Like, it's just a robot.
But then it's the role that the robot takes in the family
and then the emotional support that she provides
and then you're like, oh, like she's taking the place
of a woman.
She's taking my place and then I wanna fucking kill her.
You know what I mean?
I got you.
I'd be like, you fucking bitch.
Well, it sounds like there will not be a Megan Fox doll
in our house. No way.
Oh, the problem too is that the Megan Fox is his type.
That's his type.
So the woman, the wife, she's in the hospital,
Megan Fox walks in, the robot,
and she's like, what the fuck, dude?
I know that's your type.
Do you know what I mean?
And that would upset me if it was like a blonde,
oh, it's big tits, like our new president.
What are you talking about? That's just fucking we're lucky to have somebody like that running this place
That's all that's all business. You're confusing
business with
Okay, so
I want to check out the movie now. I just watched a movie last night
Woman of the Year.
Is that good?
What is that?
It's really good.
Anna Kendrick stars in it and she directed it.
She did a really good job.
I have to say, she did a really good job.
Isn't that what it's called?
2024, yeah.
Let's see.
Yeah.
Oh, Woman of the Hour.
Did I say year?
It's Woman of the Hour, my bad.
Woman of the Hour. It's on Netflix
So it's based on a real story and the real story is that in some time and I think in the 70s
That the dating game. Mm-hmm, which was where a woman would sit normally as like the
you know the featured person of the show.
And she would ask questions to three men behind a partition.
And you know, like if we were to go out on a date,
where would you take me?
Like that kind of stuff.
And then the three guys would give their answers.
And at the end of the show,
the woman would be like, I choose Bachelor number two.
Like it was that kind of show.
And this really happened,
where in whatever year this was,
sometime in the 70s I think,
one of the participants was a guy
who was eventually discovered to be a serial killer.
And he won.
He was the one.
Oh my God, she was charmed by him?
Well, I think they take some liberties in how it goes,
but like of the three
You know the way it's portrayed. I don't know if it's actually this way
one guy was a dumb dumb the other guy was
Kind of a douchebag and then this guy was sort of the of the three the one who gave the most
I guess charming or
Answers that just kind of made her go like yeah, that's a good answer gave the most, I guess, charming or answers
that just kind of made her go like, yeah, that's a good answer, you know?
Like that kind of thing.
It was just like inoffensive,
like he just kind of played it right.
In reality, I know that in looking it up,
what's the guy's name?
I think it's Rodney.
Rodney Alcala.
Rodney Alcala.
So in reality reality the woman who
Chose the guy. Yeah
Said that like the date that was then because they give you a prize. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's cute. Yeah
Yeah, it always looks like they could have killed up as many as 130 women
But I'll calla But Alcala, she met him, obviously, like on the show and said that he was so off-putting
that she just didn't go on the date.
Wow.
Yeah.
She sensed it straight away.
She sensed something was off about the guy.
I like how casting wasn't put off by him.
Yeah.
So, they didn't ever went out on their date?
They never went out on their date.
So that's the whole movie?
Well, the movie, I don't want to give away the movie.
The movie depicts them meeting and then kind of her spending a little time with him that night.
And then her being, but first of all, her portrayal, her directing of like how this story is told was phenomenal.
The violence in the movie of him being the serial killer was so well done,
like in a terrifying way.
She really nailed it.
I thought it was just, it was really good.
Well, this sounds like a movie right up your alley.
A serial killer, lots of violence, love.
You also love love stories.
You and I love the millionaire matchmaker.
This movie apparently has all Tom Segura's
favorite elements.
Yeah, this guy was a real goofball,
this Rodney Arcola guy.
Oh yeah.
But she really, she did a great job.
She's great, she's talented.
And she was great as the actress as well.
She really portrayed it well.
So highly recommend it.
Check it out.
I also saw Lake George.
I went to a screening of Lake George, which is a new movie starring Shea Whigham and Sherry
Coons.
Love Shea Whigham.
And it was really, really good. good like a neo-noir Take about these two who are both kind of midlife fuck-ups. Mm-hmm who?
Are basically thrown into a situation where they have to do
Participate in some criminal activity and it's a it's a really cool movie
I highly recommend checking it out. Shea Wiggum is in the Mission Impossible movies
If you guys don't know who he is, and he's such a talented actor, it's ridiculous.
Mm-hmm.
Very cool.
Wow, look at us, watching stuff, making stuff happen.
Really good, man.
Now, some other things have happened.
I think we should get into some of them.
Oh my god.
In the time that we have not been here,
first of all, two infamous goofballs, the Menendez brothers.
In the time that, a couple things have come out.
There's the Menendez brothers narrative scripted story,
like a eight, nine part thing I think Ryan Murphy did
that's on Netflix, which is really good.
He does, that's his wheelhouse.
He did the Dahmer one. He did the Versace one
He did the OJ one. It was like monster like all your favorite stuff. Yeah, so it
depicts that and then at the like a week or two later, they released the documentary which is
Jesus Christ is it I don't there's this thing about you know, when you watch documentaries
About things that happen
in your life but that are 20, 30 years earlier,
you forget, like even when I watched The Last Dance,
the Michael Jordan thing, I was like,
oh yeah, I remember this era.
And then you're watching it and you're like,
I don't remember, like all these details, you know?
Like I just watched the Lance Armstrong story
and I was like, yeah, I remember the Lance Armstrong story.
But when you get the insight into the story,
it's really like fascinating
I did not recall so much about the Menendez brothers story and it is
Fucking cool. It is so difficult to get through that doc
Because but that's why we got to release these guys back out in the world
They feel bad for now that the stuff that I'm talking about is the child abuse.
Oh, yeah.
Damn it.
Like, here's something that's very telling.
When you watch the documentary about the Menendez, for those that are unaware, the Menendez brothers
quite famously were convicted of murdering their parents.
They were Beverly Hills rich kids that their father was very very successful businessman
movie producer he ran hurts at one point like he was very very high level executive and
they murdered their parents in 1989 and were convicted of it in the
96 of many years later
it was a crazy crazy thing in in in our culture if you weren't alive at the time or don't recall it and
then it you know is one of those things that they've always been a reference in our lifetime of like rich kids entitled and
obviously for
eliminating your family and
So the story came back and you're like, oh, I remember the men to Menendez brother story
And then you watch it and you're like, oh my god
Like I don't remember all this shit you watch the doc and you realize how abused these guys were but this is my point. There's this one
Part in the documentary where they're interviewing the prosecutor the prosecutor who's like these guys are fucking
Psychos like it was a pleasure to put them behind bars at one point in the in that interview with the prosecutor
She says well, I will say this about their father
with the prosecutor, she says, well, I will say this about their father,
their father who was murdered by them.
She goes, the day he died, the world became a better place.
Oh, wow.
They couldn't find, that woman right there on the left,
they couldn't find one person to be a character witness
about the father during the trial.
Not one person was willing to say a nice thing about him.
She's like, he was a horrible piece of shit about the victim of a murder
It's pretty it's pretty telling that she actually says that she was like, yeah, he was a fucking horrific human being
That being said here's the update for those that don't know LA District Attorney George Gascon
recently announced a recommendation to
Attorney George Gascon recently announced a recommendation to re-sentence Eric and Lyle Menendez who were convicted
The 1989 murder of their parents decision could allow the brothers who have spent 34 years in prison a chance at parole
Gascon cited recent findings that under today's understanding of trauma and abuse their claims of enduring years
Sexual abuse by their father would have been taken more seriously a new sentencing proposal set at 50 years to life would make them eligible for immediate parole due to their age at the time of the crime. The potential
resentencing has sparked mixed emotions. Many family members and advocates
including attorney Mark Garagos support the recommendation highlighting the
brothers efforts toward rehabilitation. However, some families members like Kitty Menendez's brother still believe the original life sentence is justified
So that's in the news and of course Kim Kardashian's involved
She's become an advocate for their release. Here's there's so many. I mean look this isn't a black and white issue
Obviously, there's so much gray zone. How old were they at the time they committed these crimes?
19 and 21.
Yeah.
But look, here's, my initial instinct is like,
so many people are abused by their parents.
That doesn't mean you take shotguns
and blow away your mom and dad.
Like, there's other things to do,
like contact the police, child services.
Like, there's a million other things
they could have done.
So I do worry about their lack of proper judgment.
I mean that is a pretty gnarly thing to do.
It was really gnarly and extensive.
Yeah, and I get they were abused.
I know, I had to stop watching the Netflix series,
as much as I love Chloe Savininene,
and the guy that plays the dad is Javier Bardem.
I love him.
Yeah.
But I couldn't, I couldn't.
I just, I can't take child abuse.
Like, oh.
Anyway, Mom, thanks for sharing that story.
You like that?
Any other murder or serial killer
we can talk about before we move on?
I'm sure there's plenty.
Oh, there is one special someone.
Yeah, there's some other big stories that have come about
since we've been doing our thing and stuff like that.
One of them is that the one and only Garth Brooks,
some of you know him as a very famous country music singer.
He has come under serious scrutiny
because of very serious allegations. And here is what is going on.
Let the conversation begin.
Garth Brooks is facing serious allegations from a former makeup artist.
She worked for them for over 15 years, claims that he subjected her to multiple instances of sexual assault
2019 the accuser details disturbing incidents including an alleged assault where Brooks held her upside down
By her ankles other accusations include inappropriate advance inappropriate advances and explicit comments that reportedly continued despite her objections in
response by the way, she also claimed that he
Assaulted her at the Beverly Hills Hotel and then went to the Grammys, like right after that.
That's wild.
Yeah.
Like, I gotta go now.
Yeah.
That is a nice hotel.
In response, Brooks has firmly denied the claims,
labeling them as fabricated attempts at extortion.
He claims the accuser demanded hush money,
and the allegations are aimed at harming his reputation as part of his defense
He released the accuser's name in court documents a move that has drawn public criticism. He asserts this disclosure was necessary to fully defend himself
Additionally Brooks had recently listed one of his properties for sale a decision some sources speculate could be related to the ongoing
Legal battle I really like that his legal team maintains the allegations are opportunistic
She goes into great detail probably more detail than we'd want to read on this show
but if you are
Up for it. You can google the the makeup accuser the makeup artists accusations and they are in
real detail in the court documents. And you can see exactly what she is accusing him of.
And I leave it up to you if you want to weigh in
on what happened.
Excited, scared, nervous, all the good things.
What about the deposition?
Can you talk about that a bit? No
I can't talk about that not even a little bit. No
What I feel like I should say is that you
Really should in this case just let this
Take its course. That's the right thing to do. Honestly
G is G and he you know, this is obviously a very serious thing
I feel like the right thing to do because I don't really know is
To let I feel like you do know the courts
Do their thing and let this take its natural course and we will hopefully have much more
To say after it plays out. So
So rare I
Mean, I just it is wild that it's pretty wild. We've been you know
Calling it for a minute guys. This is not news to us. Yeah, so Wow
Wowzers Okay, I really like that so
CP yeah, you have been
In your treatment. Yeah, I'm almost done guys. I'm done next Wednesday
My last round of radiation clap. God damn it in there. I don't hear anybody
Thank you. I'm here. It's been terrible.
So I have 35 rounds and then that'll be my last one
and then I can be done with this shit for a minute.
Yeah, but you're not the only one
that's been dealing with a lot of shit.
What are you suffering with now, first Invisalign?
Dude, my closet flooded.
I know, just as bad as cancer.
It kind of is when you think about it.
It is.
It was horrible.
It was horrible, a thing burst and then the water came gushing down your guys the guys were
So they're up there fixing because we had like a hot water issue and then the next day
There's a leak from the exact spot. That's what it is. They guys came back. I was like, oh what's going on?
They're like, oh, there's like a gasket. It wasn't
Placed right or maybe it melted or something.
I'm like, is that where you guys were?
And they're like, I don't know.
They're like, I wasn't the guy that did it.
I'm like, yeah, but it was your company.
They never know.
I gotta talk to Bob.
I'm like, okay.
That's how it is.
Do you think it was your guys' fault?
And he's like, I have no idea.
Of course it's their fault.
Of course I know.
We've been taking cold showers for a long long time
And they can't seem to fix it. So your closet flooded at 730 Saturday night. Thank God it was 730
Oh, I know cuz the kids were freaking. I could have been like taking a piss at midnight and been like what is that?
Well, I was terrified cuz I didn't know if it was gonna start an electrical fire
I'm like fucking the kids are all jacked and freaking out.
And then we had to get your clothes out.
I thought it was the most exciting thing in the world.
They loved it.
I called the house.
First thing, I'm just like, oh, I'm on my way home.
And Julian is like, there's an emergency at the house.
I was like, there's an emergency?
He's like, is that why you're calling for the emergency?
And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?
He's like, there's rain in your closet. And I'm like, what?
There was raining.
Let me talk to your mom. He goes, talk to me. And I go, no, not you. Let me talk to the adult.
Yeah, he wouldn't let me talk to you. He ran away.
Ellis was like so funny. He's like, I'm going to manage the situation. I'll keep an eye on it.
And he had like a flashlight pointed there. And he's like, I'm watching it.
Yeah.
Good. Thank you.
It was crazy. So I had the boys help me carry your clothes out so that they didn't get ruined and it was just a sea
Of beige it was so crazy. We just kept carrying out boring clothes more boring than the ship before it
Okay, put it so wait. Can I give you my full radiation update? Yeah, of course
Okay, so I'm almost done with this fucking terrible treatment. And then... Tell me about your plans, like what you did there though. Oh yeah. Okay. Your first thing that you
noticed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about this. So I sent this to Zolo. So when I started
treatment, it's a lot of old people and some of them are like, some of them are up to talking.
Some of them are just so sick and they can't talk. And I feel like they only had like one issue of better housekeeping in the
waiting room. And I was like, this will not do.
So I've decided to seed the waiting room with different
magazines. And I'm-
Cause you said they had poor magazines.
It was literally one episode, one episode, one-
Issue.
Issue of better housekeeping. And I've been thumbing through it.
It's all warped and wilted.
And like, these are old people.
They're not dead yet.
They deserve quality magazines.
Absolutely.
So I'm starting out, I started out light.
I brought in like the National Enquirer
with like P. Diddy on the cover of Vogue magazine.
And so then there was one with Reagan on the cover.
And surprise surprise, the old folks love the Reagan issue. So that's a picture of
the, it was open like that the other day. And then, yes, there's a video.
There's Reagan. There's the Vogue I left. And then there's the Diddy. Now I'm gonna
ramp it up, because this is my last week of radiation
To somewhat soft pornography and I'm should I do like the swimsuit edition
I've got an issue of men's health with like a shirtless light-skinned black dude
I think I'm gonna leave that but what do you think should be my final magazine?
Hustler they don't know it's me. Should I drop full up? Full up? Playboy? Playboy. Because there's a few old dudes
I don't know if you've got the image of the old guy. Playboy's gonna get picked up right away
You don't think that's- is it- are there like- if you were really- if you really want to do something
I would go wherever- it's so hard to find like a good magazine stand. Maybe in some grocery stores now. It's hard
I think some grocery stores still have them
If you find like a dedicate
Yeah, and I would get like get like a couple of gun magazines. Yeah guns get some travel magazines
Then get some gossip stuff like people or whatever
Get some car magazines for the dudes. They always love that but it's mostly women for breast cancer
And then well then get you know, you're abroad, you know what they like and then get some
Yeah, get some like male physiques in there for what they like, and then get some, yeah,
get some like male physiques in there for them.
Yeah, I'm gonna drop that, the men's fitness.
And one porn would be nice.
And then one soft core.
What about like Lad mags?
Do those exist anymore?
Like Maxim?
I don't know if that stuck around.
Cause here's the thing, these are older folks,
they're gonna be offended.
I don't want them to be like appalled.
I do want them to enjoy when I'm dropping.
Clay girl would be a fucking type of.
Bro.
Oh yeah, like Maxim.
Yeah.
I could drop that and it's risque.
Is that still a thing?
Is that still out?
I don't think it is.
I don't know.
Or something like that.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay, let's go.
In subscription.
Print versions delivered every two months.
They do six a year.
Oh gosh, that was such a huge
Yeah, they don't print as much anymore. But yeah, so I'm super pumped about that
I'll be dropping again next week is the last week of treatment
So I think on Monday I can drop one and then my last day is Wednesday and I'm gonna drop like the hardcore one
Yeah, and then just bounce you gotta do one porn. Yeah one porn. But here's the thing and I wanted to ask you this.
Maybe this is too dark of a subject. You can cut this out if you don't like this.
So when you're done with your treatment you ring the bell. There's like a bell ding ding ding.
You know it like like that's a piece of shit restaurant you guys like in Vero Beach.
Anyway
Some of those folks are not gonna make it out. Do you know what I mean?
Anyway, some of those folks are not gonna make it out. Do you know what I mean?
And so I feel kind of guilty.
Like is it smug of me?
Cause I am the younger, healthier to be like,
nanny, nanny, I'm done with my treatment.
If you're gonna do it like that, it's kind of shitty.
And if you go and you go, are you guys done
or are you almost done?
No?
Maybe one day. Or maybe you're just gonna hear God ringing done? No? Maybe one day.
Or maybe you're just gonna hear God ringing his bell
and you're going home.
God's gonna ring your radiation bell.
Yeah, cause like, I mean, look, granted,
I got one of the longer courses.
So I guess what it is is like,
I have to know that I've got cred to do, I do have cred.
I've been through a lot of the treatment.
You can definitely ring your bell.
But yeah, I don't wanna be like a about it
and have them hate me. Maybe then don't do it.
Ugh.
Okay, like.
I don't think you would.
I know, I know, but I worry that it comes off as like.
You get to ring your bell, right?
That's part of the thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I haven't seen anybody do it yet, but I'm excited to do it.
Okay, and then, so this was the craziest thing
that happened in radiation by far.
Whew.
This is so rad and I can't believe I got a photo of it
to share with you guys.
So I'm sitting in treatment and whatever in the waiting room got a photo of it to share with you guys.
So I'm sitting in treatment and whatever in the waiting room,
that one I just showed you with the magazines, okay.
And you're supposed to go into the changing rooms,
you change into a gown and then you sit down
and you wait for them to come get you
to go back to the machines.
So I'm fucking sitting there.
And in the woman comes out of the changing room,
she's wearing the gown and she's fucking barefoot.
This is crazy.
Bro, barefoot.
Now keep in mind, you've got immunocompromised people,
like women in chemotherapy,
like they can't be exposed to filth.
And then like you should not be barefoot in this facility.
But even if it were just a,
let's say it has nothing to do with immunocompromised,
just the basic etiquette of you're in a waiting room
for anything.
A medical facility?
Like if you were going to get your physical,
it'd be crazy.
Like why aren't you wearing shoes?
Well, so my stepsister's Indian,
hold on, don't show it yet.
And I texted it to Cindy, my sister,
and she's like, dude, you just hate feet.
Like in our culture, it's fine to have your feet everywhere.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, you don't get it.
This isn't me being feet phobic
and people will accuse me of that.
It's that this is a medical place.
Oh, there's my buddy Sue, she graduated last week.
And you should not have your feet out
where people can get sicker from your feet, your filth.
And not only that, this fucking bitch right here,
there's a picture of her.
She's walking into change, this hippie chick.
She fucking sat down next to me in the waiting room and she had
bandages around her big toe and around her feet so she had open
wounds. Why can't she just wear like slippers or something? Bro, sucks!
Something. Yeah. I was shocked and appalled and I was like oh my god like
I had to the staff I was like did you guys see the barefoot lady and they're
like no we've seen crazier things than that. I'm like like what my God, to the staff, I was like, did you guys see the barefoot lady? And they're like, no, we've seen crazier things than that.
I'm like, like what?
Yeah, like what?
Well, they radiate people's butt holes, you know that?
Like if you get asshole cancer,
could you imagine getting your asshole radiated?
I think about it every time when I'm in there
and I feel bad for myself, I'm like,
at least it's not asshole cancer.
Yeah, exactly, it's all perspective.
Or your head, cause I see the cast,
that you know, it's just terrible. But your head, because I see the cast. Oh, it's just terrible.
But yeah, this fucking bitch came in barefoot.
I cannot believe it.
By the way, I know Christina has been fired up
about this lady for six weeks.
Every time she's a fucking barefoot lady walking out.
Barefoot lady.
I was blown away.
I sent out a group text.
I do think it's a very strange choice.
It's disrespectful to sick people, dude. I was very blown away by this. I sent out a group text. I do think it's a very strange choice. It's disrespectful to sick people, dude.
Yeah.
I was very blown away by this.
I sent it to so many people.
Like you don't have shoes?
You have fucking shoes on, dude?
She clearly does.
She was like a hippie, Austin weird.
Does she walk in with shoes?
I don't know.
So when, cause there's two waiting rooms, right?
Like the outer one and the inner sanctum.
And she's in the inner sanctum.
And I'm saying like, guys, some days there
are, there are comatose people who are so sick
from chemo in the hallways, like people that
are just on death's door.
Like you have to, you can't go in there
and be disgusting.
It blew my mind, dude.
It fucking blew my mind, bro.
I get it.
Anyway, that yeah, fired me up.
Fire me up.
Oh my God. I get it. Anyway that yeah fire me up fire me up. Oh My god
I love it. So that is Lara or Laura
She does I guess she does only fans
Kind of I don't know if she does regular porn stuff,
but she does fart and poop stuff a lot.
Good for her.
And she farts constantly in her Instagram posts.
Good for her.
Look, that's the best way to make a living.
I've always felt if you're going to do an OnlyFans
or pornography, this is an easy lane.
It kind of brings us to...
You're gonna drop it right now. What?
Go ahead. No, you go ahead. No, no you share it with the world your new gift
Well, you're the one that observes it. So why don't you drop it? All right, you guys
This is the inventor right here sitting across from me of the double pipe classic. You may remember it was a
2010 you invented this it's in Wikipedia guys
Yeah, there's an actual look actual Wikipedia devoted to my husband.
Not Wikipedia, but like Urban Dictionary.
Urban Dictionary of a double-pipe classic.
My husband invented it.
It's when you burp and fart at the same time.
It's very rare.
Very rare.
Yeah, and I had one this year, which was pretty crazy.
Which was really cool.
We haven't had it in a few years.
Something incredible happened two weeks ago,
and we can't stop talking about it thinking about it
Go ahead. Well, I've been doing you're talking about fart walking. Of course. I'm talking about yeah, but fart walking more in the mornings and
I've fart walked. I think we all have in life, you know
No, not like you but the I'm saying it's happy like you've walked somewhere and farted as you walked and you're like
Oh, this is happening. Whatever you're on the street
You're going somewhere and you're like I'm farting as I walk and it's it's usually I think a pretty joyful experience
But what's happened lately is I think because of my protein intake in the evenings
Is that when I wake up for like my?
Sort of the pee before it's time to like, you know,
the last one, it's like 6.30 or so.
I, as I'm walking from the bed to the restroom,
I fart walk.
I'm like,
Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft.
The whole way.
But what, you know,
I don't know if you're conveying this properly though,
is that you are able to fart on each step.
Yeah.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Yeah.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Yeah.
And you got about, I would say, five or six farts
and steps in, which is, I think, very difficult, very rare.
And if you're out there fart walking like it's no big deal,
go ahead and share.
Well, the best part is that as I do it
I'm like, I'm always I'm pretty pleased with myself as I do it. I'm like, this is pretty cool
And then you go that's a real nice way to wake up
Because it'll be like your alarm basically it is my every morning like and fart and wake me up. Yeah
I'm like this is cool, huh?
Guys hashtag hashtag fart walk fart and wake me up. Yeah, I'm like, this is cool, huh? This is cool.
Guys, hashtag, hashtag fart walk.
Fart.
Fart.
Fart.
Fart.
Fart.
But it's not like that.
It's, ff, ff, ff, ff, ff.
It matches your walk.
So if you can fart walk, go ahead and tag us, hashtag fart walk.
Yeah.
I want to see that. That's pretty strange.
It doesn't happen very often.
It was cool.
It was very cool.
I was actually quite pleased with it.
And you haven't really been able to replicate it since.
That's the trouble with it.
I had a few days of it.
Yeah, days, yeah.
Really, I think it's very much related to your consumption
the night before.
I think you're right.
Whatever's happening in your digestive tract the night
I think it's related to protein powder especially for you
Mmm, because I've noticed your fart smell a certain way when you've been drinking those shakes. Yeah drink those protein shakes. Mm-hmm
Had one today. Oh
Okay, well, maybe we'll get I don't feel anything in my system right now, but if you fart is hot and tangy
I know that's a fish fart. Mmm, you had some of if you fart is hot and tangy, I know that's a fish fart.
You had some of those the other day, hot and tangy.
Oof, I had bad fish the other day too.
Yeah, I know, you were shitting all day.
Horrible.
Horrible.
It gives you PTSD in that,
like I remember when I got food poisoning from salmon
in Las Vegas 10 plus years ago.
Oh, I remember it.
That time I avoided salmon for six, nine months. I was so, just remember it. I didn't that time I avoided salmon for six nine months
I was so just like I just didn't trust it anymore. It's disgusting. Yeah
No, I know it's like the time I puked up spaghetti bolognaise in 2006
It took me years to get back to have that again, right? Yeah. I remember every time I vomited
This one fucked me up. It was sea bass, which I love
You know what too, it's so buttery and oily.
Oh wow, it's pretty rich.
It could have been that too.
When's the last time you puked?
I puked I think earlier this year, but it wasn't not related to...
Mine was October 30th, 2019.
That's your last vomit?
Yeah.
Wow. You had that ready to go.
You want to see some cool shit?
Yeah.
Check this out.
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Let me introduce you to my brand new listing at 20636
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Stop.
He's so Canadian.
Yeah.
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It feels brand new.
The shirt is too tight.
And the jewelry's great.
Look, I think he's got a great personality.
He's got swag for sure.
I mean, I don't know if he is doing the shirt as a bit
Or if he's just like yeah, this shirt looks good
I think he thinks it looks good cuz I'm gonna go even have two-car tandem parking below. Please have a look around Okay. Nice place. Yeah. With this bright balcony and mountain view, you'll be doing tons of relaxing.
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We'll see you at the open house.
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Take care.
Clayton Elbers.
I like Clayton Elbers.
Yeah. No, I'm going to go. Are those tats on his chest? Bro, zoom in. They care, eh? Clayton Albers. I like Clayton Albers. Yeah. No, I'm gonna go-
Are those tats on his chest?
Bro, zoom in.
They are, right?
I think that's part of his look, the chain.
I think so.
Yeah.
Those are tats.
Yeah, chest tats.
That's why he wears it unbuttoned so you see them.
It's quite open.
I mean, that's three or four buttons open.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can we tell what they are?
Are those like Rihanna paw prints?
Is that an animal?
That i'm saying looks like a tiger we're doing some research. Okay. Oh my god unbelievable. I like him the
I mean, he's definitely you know
like I said a
Charismatic dude. Um, yeah chain is definitely on point. Um
Oh, he's all tigers. Oh, yeah, it's a tiger and a lion. Oh, he's all tagged. It is tigers!
Oh yeah, it's a tiger and a lion.
Oh, he's the best! That's what he looks like, dude.
Oh, wow.
This guy rules, he's a daddy.
Hell yeah, dude. Clayton.
That's your realtor?
That's why he dresses like that.
Holy shit.
He's trying to hide his freak, dude.
If he walked up to me though, at the beach, he'd be like, I heard you're trying to sell your house.
He'd be like, I'm actually all right.
He'd be like, what's your address?
I'm not telling you where I live.
Yeah, that's how you want your realtor to look.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Or do you?
He's got a family.
Yeah, he's cool.
He's doing his thing.
See, but I kind of, like, you know how here in Austin,
there's the lawyer that's got the dreads
and he's on all the billboards and he's got the tats.
Like, what if he's the first realtor to be tatted and fucking gnarly?
Like I might go for him.
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, he might be really good. I mean, he definitely,
he's definitely on top of the social media. How big is his following on social?
That's this fucking guy. No, that's he's not everywhere.
I would not hire that lawyer. You're out of your goddamn mind.
Is he, he's, he's gotta be personal. No, the attorney that lawyer. You're out of your goddamn mind. Is he, he's gotta be personal injury.
No, the attorney that rocks, fuck off, dude.
I don't want an attorney that rocks.
I want an attorney that's a fucking dork.
I want a dorkiest dork.
He's an attorney that burns, bro.
He fucking burns, he's faded right now, homie.
But personal injury, that's fine.
I want a non-Christian attorney that takes no shit.
Non-Christian.
He has 10k followers
That's a good following. I'm telling you he needs to lean into who he really is. Oh, he also does jewelry
Oh, it says licensed realtor, business owner, custom jewelry. Yeah
There's like a tattoo. He might own a tattoo shop. Yeah, dude. He's selling grills, tats. Gold teeth, vancouver
He's doing oh, yeah, he's doing grills. Yeah, this guy's everywhere.
He's got, he's a hyphenate too, you know what I'm saying?
I got, I'm a writer, actor, producer, you know what I mean?
Tattoo artist, real estate.
Yeah, he's doing it all.
No, he's doing it.
Oh, that shirt fits him.
He's a hustler though.
Yeah, he's good, I like him.
The shirt's way too fucking tight, Clayton.
That shirt is insane.
Yeah, Clayton, we're on your side, bro.
Yeah, that's a better fitting shirt.
That's good, yeah. Everyone's worn it too tight of a shirt. That shirt is insane. Yeah, Clayton, we're on your side, bro. Yeah, that's a better fitting shirt. That's good, yeah.
Everyone's worn too tight of a shirt.
Of course.
We all know the feeling.
Of course.
But yours is very tight in that one.
I also know that feeling too, when you're like,
you know what, I'm not going up a size, fuck that.
I do it all the time.
Yeah, you're like, I'm not adding an X
to the fucking shirt.
Can't do it on principle.
I am not a double XL and you're just like.
See?
Do it too, I do it too.
I've ordered things too small
and then had to have like panels put in
so that I could fit.
Cause I'm like, I'm not ordering a size up.
I am not a size 10, damn it.
Buy it all in the other, and then have it all tailored.
I do, I totally. Just make these bigger. I'm such an idiot.
I know.
I can't do it as a woman, my self-esteem.
By the way, can we please fucking talk,
speaking of ridiculous, about Al Pacino?
Yeah.
I have been obsessed about this one for days.
Al Pacino, one of the great actors of our generation.
Is that his stupid sound? Hoorah. Hoorah. Al Pacino, one of the great actors of our generation.
Hoah!
Is that his stupid sound?
Hoorah!
Hoorah!
She's got a great ass!
He does that thing and you're like, okay.
It was a scent of a woman.
That was like the biggest movie.
He plays a blind guy who's foul-mouthed.
Everybody loved that fire movie.
And then they did this thing in Heat.
Scarface, of course.
You know, in Heat where he's great in that.
Where like, years later they're like,
yeah he's supposed to be on cocaine the whole time.
Like that's the character.
But then they cut out the stuff they shot
that were references and seeing it.
So you just see this guy who's like, yeah!
And they're like, and you're like,
what the fuck is going on?
They're like, yeah he's on coke.
You're like, yeah why don't you show it?
Dude that makes so much sense now.
It's just implied and they're like, yeah I thought you'd know. You're like, yeah, why don't you show it? Dude, that makes so much sense now. He was like, it's just implied? And they're like, yeah, I thought you'd know. I'm like,
yeah, we know he's out of his fucking mind.
I didn't know that. Now I've got to watch Heat over again.
Oh, Heat's incredible. But he's just like, and this guy walking, and you're like, Jesus
Christ.
Yeah. Yeah, they should tell you that information. That's kind of valuable.
Yeah, fucking Cokehead.
Oh, but anyway back so great Al Pacino phenomenal talent
Is a new dad
He's also
There's a lot of cool guys that do this they're usually very successful
And the strangest thing he found this sweet sweet girl
She is 29.
She's 29, yeah.
He, there's a little age gap, he is 84.
84 years young.
That's a good way of looking at it.
So I think that age gap would be 55 years,
did I get that right?
I think it's a 55 year age gap.
Yeah, there it is.
But here's a nice thing about-
I'm with the love of my life!
Here's a nice thing about this sweet girl,
this 29 year old sweet, sweet lady,
is that she's got a penchant for older actors or older dudes.
Like she was dating Mick Jagger,
who was about that age too.
And then, wasn't she with Nicholson, I want to say?
Whatever.
I can't find the Nicholson one.
People were saying she was dating Clint Eastwood
for a while. Oh, another young.
Can you get the thing?
Because it probably would look...
Okay. What a nice girl.
She's dating all these cool, nice older gents.
He became the new dad at 83.
He's now 84.
His now ex-girlfriend, they already are.
They split already, the baby's three months old
and they split.
Nor Alfala welcomed their first child together.
Pacino's already a dad to three adult children.
Da da da, the daughter, da da da.
In March of 2024, Alfala spoke publicly for the first time
about her relationship.
Oh, Al lives down the street from my house.
We started spending every day together playing chess,
watching movies.
It was like film school with Al Pacino.
I bet that was fucking amazing.
Yes.
I guess it just became something more.
They are no longer romantically involved.
Here's everything to know about her.
Okay, she's a producer.
I'm a producer.
You know what I'm saying?
She is a producer, graduated from the University
of Southern California Cinematic School for the Arts.
It's a great program by the way. It is. Continuing her studies from the University of Southern California Cinematic School for the Arts. It's a great program, by the way.
It is.
Continuing her studies at the University of California Los Angeles, where she obtained
a master's degree in film and television producing.
In 2018, she produced a short film called,
Brosa Nostra, about a fraternity president trying to get his house
to return to the Greek row at Southern California College.
After graduating, she reproduced another short film.
She executive produced the forthcoming feature Billy Knight which stars Pacino
Charlie Heaton Diana Silver's and Patrick Schwarzenegger as well as the apprentice a film about the rise of
Donald Trump starring Sebastian Stan
Okay
You can scroll down
So let's see. She welcomed their first son. We got that. Let's see if it has any backstory
They're just friends. Okay. She's been linked to other big names. That's where we're getting to. Let's see who she dated before
There she is snuggling Mick Jagger
Prior to welcoming Pachina or welcoming a child Pachina
She made headlines when she dated Mick Jagger when he was 74 and she was 22 at the time
Our ages didn't matter to me.
The heart doesn't know what it sees,
it only knows what it feels.
As a fire and as a fire sign.
And you're right in 2019,
I'll follow Spark Romance Rumors with Clint Eastwood
after they were photographed leaving Craig's.
There is no relationship, we're family friends,
my family is there and that's what she said about that.
She has three siblings.
I don't know if there's any more there,
but yeah, that's pretty cool.
She definitely likes older men, which is fine.
You can like older men.
It's so cool, but the coolest part is to have children
with them, you know what I mean?
And then break up, the baby's three months old.
Well the neat thing for that kid is that there's a lot
of footage of his dad because he's gonna need it
He's not really gonna grow up with him because I can't imagine
That he will live that much longer. No
So where's that video where he's talking about how much fun he has with a kid
Do we have that Zolo where he's like what he does with him? This little guy
Treats him like a dachshund or something Do we have that Zolo where he's like what he does with him? This little guy
Treats him like a doxen or something
Yeah His connection with his one year old. That is the thing. He likes pudding. I like pudding. Maybe it's on the tik tok
Yeah
Yeah, it'll be there
so
Yeah, I mean it is like
I don't know if if he's 84,
that means there's a good chance that,
I don't know, when he's in kindergarten or first grade,
his dad will be dead.
And he'll be like, he was a really good actor.
And I'll be like, oh, good.
I wish he would have gotten a vasectomy.
Oh yeah, and so does De Niro's an old ass dad too.
He's got that young girlfriend.
There's a couple guys like that.
See, that's the problem, Tom,
with getting the young hot girlfriend.
Listen to me, look at me.
If I died before you, all right,
and that, how dare you?
And hold on.
If you bang some 29 year old, they all want the baby. There's no way some 29-year-old, they all want the baby.
There's no way some woman in her 20s
is not gonna want the baby.
Okay, but I'd have to get a reverse snip.
Yeah, you can do that.
That's not hard to do. I don't wanna do that.
That's not hard to do.
I don't wanna do that.
I'm just warning you, these young chicks,
they all want babies.
That's the whole point.
So what do you tell me?
And then you gotta support them.
You know what I'll tell them?
Be like, yeah, let's just keep trying.
I don't know what's wrong with them.
I'm not getting pregnant. I'm like, because we're not fucking enough.
Tummy.
That's great. And then you just keep doing that until she gets sick of you.
It's that one.
You get sick of her. Oh.
There you go.
It's fun. Being a new dad is fun.
It's the least fun is when you're a new dad.
Well, he's not doing that much.
Let's hear what he's not doing that much.
Let's see what he's doing.
You know what, this little person, everything he does is interesting to me.
Yeah.
So we talk, I play the harmonica with him.
Harmonica.
And we have made this kind of contact.
So it's fun.
At 83, did you have any reservations about the age?
Well, yeah, I'd want to be around for this child.
Of course I did.
But things happen.
And I wanted to be, and I hope I am,
I hope I stay healthy.
And he know who his dad is, of course.
It's neat.
It is neat, and it's a lot of fun.
This little guy does that.
And I'm like, look at all this stuff he's doing and stuff happens Tom
He doesn't know how pregnancy happens
83 can I tell you the most annoying part for me personally is like that that the British tend to be a little more
Ruthless and their question I feel like you didn't you didn't think 83 was kind of old
But that the media has to treat it like it's an awesome thing.
Like if you look at,
I think People Magazine covered the story and he's like,
this is awesome.
Like it's always from the, isn't this great?
It's like, no, it's not great guys.
I don't think it's so great.
He's like, I hope I live.
You're not gonna, you're 84, dude.
This is the end of the road, bro.
Yeah, it's not gonna last much longer.
It's not gonna last much longer. And also let's say it does last longer. Yeah, it's not a good
good time
No, you're not like if you're alive at 92 and you see him now you think it's gonna be like he's like
I'm just like you're gonna be able to pick up your kid. You've seen old people with babies. They go. Yeah
people with babies they go yeah they can't even hold the cat let alone the baby do you think you think when they were you know how things happen yeah do you
think stuff happens for sure she was like just go inside of course he was
like yeah and then that was great yeah And then she was like, thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah, because she had to like climb on top of his carcass.
And the cool thing now is that she knows he's gonna leave
a fucking pretty cool trust.
I know, it's so gross.
Cause you know she can't marry him, right?
Cause he's got prenups to the gills.
She knew she wasn't gonna get that pre,
that marriage money.
But now that the kid's there, it's going to be a good steady 18 years.
But this is when the adult kids come in, they're like, Hey, let's talk about your plans for
a second, man. Exactly how are you planning on divvying this shit up?
Pops.
Yep.
Well, you know, I got a baby.
Hey.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah. This bitch, well, she's going to get at least whatever monthly stipend. Yeah. Yeah.
Child support.
If you're like, right.
If the kids don't fuck her out.
I don't have to work fun.
Yeah.
La la la.
For 18 years.
Yeah.
And then what though?
You dumbass.
All right.
Dumbass.
I got to pish real quick.
Can I go?
Hey, same.
Let's go pee.
Oh, pee-pee twins.
And we peed.
My pee was so powerful.
Did you smell like coffee?
No.
Really? No. Really?
No, not really.
Yours often do.
If I have too much, it does.
I don't think I overdid it today.
I've had a good bit of water.
I had a double workout today already.
I did. Double.
Yeah, I did the bike and then I went to the gym
and I lifted at the gym.
You're crazy right now with the fitness jeans.
I know. It's because I'm going to be nude that I'm, you know, you have like a panic set in.
Are you allowed to say this?
I think I've talked about it, that it's coming up.
Dude, I don't know.
What I didn't realize until a meeting the other day is that I'm nude in four scenes now.
Like I think they all were like, yeah this is pretty funny, just keep doing it.
I'm like, okay.
That's pretty scary.
Yeah, and like I have a horrible flat ass,
and they're like, yeah, show that, funny.
Yeah.
I like the way that you were honest, you just went.
Well both of us, I think full disclosure.
It's not the same.
You and I have both admitted to having flat asses.
To each other, we both agreed.
The tailor on the show, she was like,
getting a costume ready, so she was like tracing.
She was doing this tracing thing,
and she was like, you have very defined calves.
And I was like, nice.
I was like, everybody hear that? She was like this tracing thing and she was like, you have very defined calves. And I was like, nice. I was like, everybody hear that?
She was like, very defined.
And I was like, that's what's up.
And then she goes up, does like the hamstrings.
And then she goes, yeah, a lot of men have flat butts like you.
And I was like, hmm.
Yeah, that is a Sigurra family trait, I will say.
I feel like everyone.
Flat ass family.
Me too, though. Look, I got the tits, I didn't get the ass. That's for fucking sure.
Oddly enough, Top Dog didn't have a flat ass.
Maybe later in his later years.
But he was a weightlifter.
Other side.
Oh yeah, it's definitely her.
Her side, yeah.
God.
No one has an ass.
I don't have an ass either.
Mine is so bad.
No, mine sucks too.
No, mine's worse than yours. I've't have an ass either. Mine is so bad. No, mine sucks too.
No, mine's worse than yours.
And I've tried Pilates, I've tried the weight lifting.
And also, yours isn't gonna be broadcast.
Mine's gonna be broadcast.
You chose to dipshit.
I didn't kinda, I really didn't kind of.
What do you mean you didn't?
It's your show.
But I still was like, they're just, you know,
you just don't wanna be the guy to like negate,
they're just much better if you just show your ass.
And I'm like, okay.
Can you do like a stunt ass?
Can you do a stand in?
No, come on, that's for the weaklings.
Why don't you do what Tom Cruise does in the movies
where they do like the lens, the glossy lens.
Cause that's what they do on the Mission Impossible movies.
They just, they treat the film.
They treat the film.
Yeah.
So he looks much better. You could
What about full frontal? What do I do there? Are you gonna? Yeah, holy shit for real. Yeah, you're gonna show your dog, dude
Yeah, I'm gonna fluff like everybody else does. Yeah, I know what you're doing. I
Can't believe you're gonna give me give me like I'm gonna be like give me 30 seconds to smack it around
I can't believe you're gonna give me give me like I'm gonna be like give me 30 seconds to smack it around
Thanks, thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks
You really showing your dick. Yeah, it's just way life goes. Here we go cool
Isn't it crazy that I have a line at the house nothing bad will happen look at him look at his pants never in English
They're laughing dude
The lion yeah lioness
So fucking stupid that could have gone so I know I do love these talks though. I know
Alright, I have been dying to show you this. So Frankie Valli, who is a beloved singer,
Frankie Valli in the Four Seasons,
this man has been performing for like 60 plus years, right?
And this was like from, you know, Greece,
the incredible John Travolta, what's her name?
Olivia Newton John.
Like that's Frankie Valli singing in some of the big songs.
And some of the big songs, yeah.
Grease is the, you know, that's him.
That's him?
Yeah, now this is him.
I think during the pandemic, he did what even we were doing in standup, which is like putting
on an online concert for people that wanted so like check them out here
Is that really him singing? That's him. That's okay. Yeah
He can still sing, for sure. Yeah, that's him. That's okay. Yeah. He can still sing for sure. Yeah, that's good.
Oh wow. Yeah. Wow, I don't like his background singing.
I mean, he's still really doing it here. I mean, he's still nailing it here.
Yes.
Now, he has to be 85 or 86 here, okay?
In that video.
It's 2020.
It's a pandemic performance that like people could watch online
So yeah, so that's four years ago. So he's probably 86 because he's 90 now
so
He has been continuing to perform and people have noticed that it is not the same
Oh, okay. It is not the same and Uh oh. Okay, it is not the same. Oh dear. And I have multiple examples.
Oh.
I see.
Right?
I see.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
So what they're doing now is they're playing Oh no. Oh no.
So what they're doing now is they're playing the audio
of the original track. Right.
And then he's just supposed to lip sync.
That by the way, what I just showed you
is by far the best version of it.
It's by far the best version of it.
But the lip syncing, he's barely putting,
he can't open his mouth at this point.
He's barely doing it.
Why are they doing this to this man?
Whom does he owe money to?
Who is forcing him to do this?
This doesn't seem like, this seems like,
you know when somebody reaches a certain age
and you go, you know what?
You just don't have to do it anymore.
You've been performing for.
Can I say something?
I'm so stoked about cancer,
because now I'm like, I'm done touring.
I'm fucking done.
Not for a while.
I just meant, you can reach an age where you can go, I no longer perform.
But babe, I don't think he's there.
I think-
You think he's making this happen?
He wants to do this shit.
It's the same reason crazy ass Madonna is still doing it.
But what if you put, if you bought your ticket oh my god you saw this I mean
How old is his audience
He's talking so that's his voice
Poor guy
Okay practically dead. Poor guy. Oh no. Okay.
It's not a good look though.
He's actually singing here I think.
He's singing, yeah.
This is also, I hadn't seen this one.
This one's okay.
This one's alright.
But he can barely move. He's comatose.
He also hasn't blinked once. No. And then it's been like three minutes. No. But he looks okay. That one's okay. So I apologize. That was actually a better one.
Okay, here's Grease.
Alright.
He's not singing. No, he's not singing.
He missed the cues there.
Oh dear.
Oh dear.
You know those background guys have stories.
Can somebody please have one of these backgrounds?
Reach out. Please.
He's like, when I say Greece is the word, oh no, oh no.
This is the way we believe.
This is the way we believe.
You can, you know.
This is a life of illusion.
Grab the control.
This is a life of illusion.
What are we doing here?
I think there's somebody else driving this.
Possibly. I don't think it's him being like, I have to perform.
You think he's got the wife like Ozzy Osbourne's wife?
Ozzy is on his last leg.
Well, here's the thing.
Joan, what's her name?
Because he was so obviously highly proficient
into his eighties, that means he was probably
touring all the time.
And that basically gives you a certain lifestyle. He's probably spending more,
like most people would say, let's say they're performers, they would retire most, you know,
with the exception of like a Tony Bennett. Most would be like, yeah, I'm done. I'm 70 something.
And then you would, you kind of get into a certain,
you get into a certain change in lifestyle.
But if you are into your 80s, still performing,
it may be that like, they're just like living it up.
And then when it's like, hey, it's time to retire,
someone's like, no, don't do that.
Cause you've got too many expenses.
Yeah, and you're used to like earning a certain amount
and spending a certain amount.
But I will note the decline is significant from 86 to 90.
Yeah, but still.
He was fine four years ago.
But that's a normal thing to decline at 90.
Here's the thing I'm learning though, Tom.
Yeah.
You're gonna be touring well into your 90s.
Because mama likes this life.
I'm staying home, I'm relaxing. I ain't working
You love being a comic you got to tell jokes until you're dead
Hey guys, yeah
Wipe come on the drapes might
Bye
I wrote your audience's older shit yeah they're telling their kids and
they're like the fuck is this my son that flushed it down the toilet
I'll play the audio of a Netflix special on the floor. I think you should.
Okay, here's what's going on.
Frankie has told People magazine the accusations crack him up, reiterating on his own terms.
Nobody has ever made me do anything I didn't want to do.
Frankie's all about that Four Seasons magic,
saying as long as the fans keep showing up,
he's in it for the long haul.
Promising to be like that bunny on TV
that just keeps going and going and going.
Oh, you mean the advertising ad
that hasn't aired in 35 years?
No, I can't say that.
For the Energizer bunny?
That's awesome, that's a real current reference.
Okay, chasing the music.
But it's the ego.
He can't say, I'm 90, I'm done.
There's been a huge concern for Frankie.
Some videos showing him appearing to be lip syncing
his own music on stage.
Of course.
And have fans commenting about how exhausted he looks.
He hasn't blinked in any video.
But he's made it clear he's not backing down.
Full steam ahead with his tour running
all the way through April of 25.
No, he's not gonna make it to April.
No, he's one of those guys who's gonna die on tour.
I know, but he's happy doing it.
And you know what, if people are paying.
He's gonna die.
Of course he's gonna die.
He's gonna die in the middle of a song
and the song will keep playing.
He'll just go.
Share. This is the word, it's the word. And then he's gonna die. He's gonna die in the middle of a song and the song will keep playing. He'll just go. And they'll be like. This is the word, it's the word.
And then he'll be there.
This is the word.
Of course.
But that's why I'm gonna pay to see every.
But now don't you wanna go see him?
A hundred percent. To watch him die on stage.
Bring up his tour schedule.
Yeah, let's go.
Guys, someone needs to go watch every single one
until he dies on stage. Yeah, let's go. Guys, someone needs to go watch every single one until he dies on stage.
Yeah, let's do it, guys.
Indio, Temecula, oh, he's doing the casinos.
Those are big money gigs.
Yeah. Oh, he's doing,
he's doing a good run.
Lot of casinos, that's good.
That's where the oldies go.
Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons.
Let's go see him in Texas.
Is he coming to Texas?
I've done some of these places.
Yeah, I know.
Doesn't look like it.
He's not traveling too much.
No, he's going everywhere.
How's he getting on planes and shit?
Arizona's pretty close.
Ha ha ha.
November 10th, that's the day after,
guess where I'm at, November 9th.
Where?
Phoenix.
Okay.
Oh.
Wouldn't mind spending an extra night.
Ha ha ha.
Share. Oh, look at mind spending an extra night. Sherry.
Oh, look at him, he looks good there.
Because, don't cry.
We just boosted his ticket sales.
You know people are gonna go just to see if he dies
during the singing Sherry baby.
It's the eyes that freaked me out
the most. Yeah, the eyes were like... Yeah, he can't even smile. So something's cooking. Oh, poor guy.
Oh, shit. That was bad. You want to see something sadder? I will, I see your Frankie Valli
and I will one up you a Phil Collins.
You seen what that guy's up to?
He's in the office chair.
Yeah, they put him in an office chair.
This guy, by the way, is so, if you don't know,
this man is so exceptionally talented.
Of course.
No, it is outrageous.
This guy's songwriting ability, instrument, his voice,
that's him in an office chair doing a show.
They wheel him out.
He's like at Madison Square Garden,
they're like, sit in this chair, we got it from the back.
It's one of the accountant's chairs here.
Look at that.
Yeah.
Guys, at least give him like a king's throne.
Yeah.
Make it part of the show, give him a better seat.
Something happened with his spine, right?
I think he has, what is his health issue?
Life is terrible.
I think it's back related.
Suffering, the amount of suffering.
Oh yeah, he used to fucking just crush it
on the drums, of course.
Yeah.
You know how many hits this guy had?
Okay, look, spinal injury.
Oh no.
Upper neck vertebrae, which damaged nerves
and affected his hands.
He's unable to play the drums, has performed while sitting in a chair using a cane.
Foot drop, hit that, show more.
Developed foot drop after back surgery
which refers to orthopedic shoes.
Diabetic abscess.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Acute pancreatitis.
Alcohol, well.
That's why, that's why he's got all the other shit
going on, the alcoholism.
Su-su-sudio. He's unbelievable, that's why he's got all the other shit going on, the alcoholism.
Su-su-su-su-du-rio. He's unbelievable.
How many heads did he have?
Oh, it's really crazy.
Like this guy's. Genesis.
I know, this is bad.
I hate when I see them in the office chair though.
I know, it's so disrespectful.
It's like from Staples.
Literally. They were like,
you just go grab a writing chair.
And if he's got spinal stuff,
maybe get him a chair
that's good for him to sit for a long time.
It should be a throne, like you're saying.
Yeah, like make it theatrical.
Yeah, like part of the-
Put him out in a throne, cause he's like the king.
Yeah.
And don't make him hold, you know,
make the mic stand, come to him.
Like, why aren't they?
Suh, suh, suh, suh, suh, suh.
That's crazy. She seems to have an invisible touch.
So depressing.
Well, you know, this is just what they do.
This is what Madonna's doing and it's appalling
that she is still trying to be hot and sexy
and do the same thing she was doing.
She's so jacked up and it's more and more embarrassing
every year.
Unless you can maintain it, like Mick Jagger, for some reason, why does
Mick Jagger pull this off? Is it because he's physically and his singing voice is
still, ay, yay, yay, look at this face. Well here's the thing about, it's kind of
unfair to women, which is like the standard for a woman and her face is very different for men.
Like as you start to age, everybody goes,
fuck's up with your face, do something, right?
And then men, we can just like get wrinkled
and just age like you.
And everybody goes, that's fine, you look great.
Like they just let it go.
So like the standards are different,
but then how you react to that standard is where.
That's the key.
That's really it.
Because there have been female stars over the years
that have crushed it, like Cher,
she still looks I think fairly amazing.
Tina Turner was great, she passed away unfortunately,
but Tina Turner was crushing it at 72,
and she looked amazing.
Look, Cher still looks like fucking Cher.
Yeah, I mean she's obviously had.
77th. Yeah, but when she was touring and still looks like fucking Cher. Yeah, I mean, she's obviously had. 77th.
Yeah, but when she was touring and doing her shtick.
Yeah.
Look at her boyfriend, she's got a youngin' right there.
She likes the young ones.
She and Madonna both like young, hot black dudes.
That's what they're into.
It's so funny.
I don't know what that, what that,
do black guys like older white ladies any?
Is that what it is?
Because she's saying because like Cher and Madonna and some other
well-known
They are you think that's like are these guys actually attracted to them you think uh I mean I think we like money
I think we're big fans of that. That's that's all I could say I'm not sure I mean yeah
I'll fuck with Cher you know I'm saying would you Would you get with a 77-year-old woman?
Mm, I mean, yeah, but like how long,
you know what I'm saying?
You had to have the baby with her.
Would you go down on her?
Shit.
No problem.
Oh, wow.
Shit.
Wow.
Look, is Cher perfect?
No, but when she was touring,
she was doing the turn back time,
that shit on the boat, remember that?
If I could turn back time.
Her body was still good when she was touring.
She's 78 actually.
Yeah, and she stopped doing it, right?
She's not fucking Frankie Valiing us to death.
Exactly, it's where you pull the plug at a certain point.
Tina Turner as well, she wasn't doing it.
Gene Hackman.
He looks like shit right now too, of course son of a bitch.
Did you see the top of it? Of course, but I hate that people are saying that.
He's just an older guy.
What's going on?
Why do you have any black people on your show?
Oh shit, Jesus Christ.
You know what I'm saying?
This is an honest question.
Why don't you have more African Americans on your show?
You know how you guys are.
No, no, no, you make an excuse.
I'm not making an excuse.
You know why?
You know who you sound like?
Who?
Your good friend, Bert Schist Christkirk. Yes, yes. You sound like him. I'm not making an excuse. You know why? You know what you sound like? Who? Your good friend, Bert Schist Kreisker.
Yes, yes.
You sound like him.
Man, I resent that.
Let me tell you why this is unfair.
Somebody's probably gonna get fired from your team
and I do apologize.
It's probably the black guy who's in there.
Yeah.
It's only one black guy here.
I know.
All right?
I always feel like one's enough, but go ahead.
No, this is what you do.
Okay.
This is what you do to me.
Tell me.
Whenever there's an issue.
Yes.
In the streets.
Yes.
Or with black people people you call me like
Ghostbusters is like you're the
representative of the you guys are
any other black friends Brian I have
others other black people like Brian
Simpson another one Brian Simpson
that's true there's two Brian's David
Lucas David Lucas Manny Fresh David
Lucas don't count many fresh he's up the
Joe Rogan family so he's like that borderline white guy.
He's a borderline white guy.
He does racist jokes and double down on his...
DJ Premier.
He's worse than Tony Hinchcliffe.
DJ Premier.
Okay, that's a good one.
He's a good one.
Too short.
But you don't ask him questions like, so why do black people like Pepsi Cola so much?
First of all.
Second of all.
Second of all, that was a great question and you gave a great answer so it was it was like it was perfect I didn't cut
around the answer you did a voiceover and somebody just said watermelon right
now that is absolutely offensive I'm not playing games sure you know I'm not trying to be like you're not that I can't look up to a white person
But you know, I'm trying to get like passive income through it. I'm through this
Sure. Sure, you know, I started new pockets called a Donnell Rollins show. Oh, it's called the what?
The Donnell Rollins show Donnell Rollins like after your name
Okay Donnell Rawlings. Like after your name. Okay. After my name. Yeah, yeah.
Yes.
And you don't call me to say, hey, Donnell.
Hey, Donnell.
That's not, you never, you don't call me for that.
But it is.
But something, you know what?
If I had, if I knew it, I'd be like, oh, this is a cool new black thing.
I'm going to call you up and I would have called you and be like.
So, okay, let's be clear.
You call me for cool new black things.
Or questions about black things.
Yeah.
Well, can we, first of all, your, his beard is very similar to yours.
I think he is.
I think he is.
I think he is.
I think he is.
I think he is.
I think he is.
I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. and I would have called you and be like. So okay, let's be clear. You call me for cool new black things. Or questions about black things, yeah.
Well, can we, first of all,
his beard is very similar to yours.
I think he is cropping you.
Secondly.
Copy.
I mean, look at my beard.
See, the white woman is down with this whole theory.
Yo, she just stole,
said the black man stole the fucking hairstyle.
Who's that on his shirt, by the way?
On his shirt?
Yeah.
That's Muhammad Ali. Who's that? The greatest. Muhammad way? On his shirt? That's Muhammad Ali.
The greatest. Muhammad Ali is the greatest.
Black man, sports figure of all time.
Never heard of him.
I know people who used to listen.
I know they'd watch you walk off.
I know you was...
I know they was counting down.
I know these motherfuckers like to dance along.
When is he fighting next?
You know what my therapist told me is that Donnell is gonna be very challenging but stay focused if that's what I'm gonna do
Stay focused stay focused
First of all, can I congratulate you on the Donnell Rawlings show? I didn't know that I'm very excited for you. I
Know
I'm gonna keep I'm gonna keep going with
this. I first of all, I remember you put a member I remember meeting you in at this UCLA show. This
is in like 2005 or six. And I came I couldn't believe you were there because you were on the
Chappelle show. And I was I was asking you all the questions about writing and performing,
and I was really nerding out on how funny you are
on the show.
And we call it a hood, when we say you was on my dick.
And it's not a homophobic stuff, it was on my dick.
Say that, go ahead.
Okay, no ditty, no ditty, I was on your dick.
And then I was like, oh, let me see your dick,
and you're like, it's not like that.
No, you won't see my dick, I'm a fucking white boy shit.
No, dude.
Y'all play too many dick games. Man, I was like, just let me see it.
We don't do that shit, man.
All right.
I just, I'm trying to like navigate how to do it.
So, and then we've done, first of all, you helped me out when I was doing that show in
Cancun and I, and you, and you came and you killed it on that.
And then we've done shows together when, when and Dave have done their their co-shows
we've done those and we have a great time and I always have fun with you and I think you're very
very funny. I don't give a fuck about fun when we gonna make some money man. Well I mean aren't you gonna I thought you were
booked to do the podcast aren't you coming on the podcast? Oh let me tell you about that podcast. What?
That started off it's the black guy behind this camera looks just like me right? I see him. Yeah, and she came in This is so fucking racist that race who came in Lauren is her name, right? Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, I'm doing a podcast and she came in and I'm not trying to say we all look alike, right? Yeah
She walked right past me. Yeah, it's hip. Thanks for being on the show as she Larry to this black
Before oh, yeah, well, she probably looked like, I mean. Get security and shit.
I mean, like, you know.
Don't say that, Ola.
Yeah, your security sucks.
I mean.
Yo, they worse than Donald Trump's security right now.
Man, look at.
Shot your ear off.
Look at his necklace.
Shot your ear off.
He looks like a star.
I would buy it.
Yeah, but the more, and again, I am so sorry I crashed it.
And in a way, I'm happy I crashed it,
because America needs to know.
America does need to know.
America needs to know that you need to know America needs to know
That you have a black friend that you call on in desperate situations. You know you call me George Floyd, too
What did I say just like what can I do?
and
Yeah, I remember yeah
Yeah, I was like anything anything to help
Yeah, you said what can I do for your people? What can I do? anything. Anything to help. That's what the fuck you said. Yeah.
You said, what can I do for your people?
What can I do?
I would love to know.
You know what you can do?
What's that?
You can continue to do what you haven't been doing
and be better.
You can be better.
Be better.
And continue to use the platform higher.
Raise black voices.
Raise black voices.
Continue to support the NBA.
I love the nba why
the f**k i had to be it's a 90 black league yes they do there's like six um i just feel like it's
the nba is your guys league and i feel like uh the all-star weekend is definitely black thanksgiving
it's a fun f**king weekend that's true It's really a good time. Black Thanksgiving is much tastier
than White Thanksgiving.
Don't you like Black Thanksgiving?
I don't see color in Thanksgiving.
And the reason why I did it to me,
white chicks, they really put color into Thanksgiving.
Oh! Really?
There's a white chick there.
You want a Thanksgiving?
Oh, you're a good black guy to ask.
Yeah.
I know, wait a minute, don't get excited about that.
That's so exciting.
All right, so Madonna and Cher.
She's been ran through as the streets were...
But Madonna and Cher have both been,
their thing is both young, good-looking black guys.
So do young, any, like is it a thing,
do you find these women attractive?
Do young black, are they just into...
Are they into older white ladies?
Are they into older white ladies?
Look at this guy, he's fucking 50 years younger.
Yeah, some of them are into opportunities.
Wow.
Okay, that was what Eni said.
He said, we like money.
If you're going to toss the dick around, it's good to have some benefits from it.
That's so true.
I don't see anything wrong with that.
But I'm not asking Asians to even excite Madonna, but I understand on both sides.
She gets what she wants, and then they get what they want.
Now I know you've been close with Puff a long time.
Do you feel like he is gonna get out of this shit,
or what's gonna happen there?
Cause I remember you were always like,
hold on, my man Puff's on the phone,
and then you would take calls.
Get him off the floor, D, you need to be strong about this.
Be strong.
Have you been to Rikers yet to say hello?
Have you stopped by?
What I'll say is this.
As much as me being black and I understand
how the white men always try to come down on us
and like just fuck with us,
cause there's-
It's fun, I get it.
There's been people that, Caucasians,
Yes.
That have done worse.
And the black community, our biggest issue
with John Puffy Combs was a thousand bottles of baby oil.
And that's a lot of separation
because you cannot explain that to the black community.
Yes.
That's the hardest thing to do.
The dildos in the oil.
He's not my boy.
He's not your boy.
Okay, so how'd you feel when your boy got shot in the ear?
Wow.
My guy? My guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah you feel when your boy got shot in the ear? Wow. My guy?
My guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's him.
I mean, I was fucking.
That's your boy.
I took a deep breath, I was like,
ah, and then I was like, he's okay.
I was like, yeah, I was like, he's okay.
I was so scared for a second.
I was like, they didn't, they didn't get him.
We lit candles and everything.
And it, yeah, it was.
A vigil.
I would have to say this, Tom, when I came here, I didn't know you were actually gonna be everything. Yeah. A vigil. I will have to say this, Tom.
When I came here, I didn't know you were actually going to be here.
Yeah.
And I saw you in the monitors, and I was like, oh, that's the fucking eagle so much.
You did a?
No, I thought you had just a loop of you.
Oh, oh, Jesus.
No.
Oh, my god.
But I do like that you did a very black thing, which is just walk in.
You know what I mean?
That was like, life is my place
No, that voice was the worst. Hey, man
Okay, yeah, okay like seriously
Like figuratively like contextually like metaphorically. Hey, you watch this shit man. Hey roll the camera watch this shit man
Wow, what I yo time like yeah, that's it
Hey, roll the camera, watch this shit, man. Pow!
Ayo, ta!
Like, yeah, that's it.
Officer!
And I'm telling you, true to who I am,
and I've been coined as the interrupter.
I like those sunglasses.
I like those glasses.
Thank you, they make me feel good.
I will tell you this.
Yeah.
We just joked around, but I do appreciate you.
I appreciate you too, man.
Because you know, this is some real shit.
There's a thing going around, like when I perform,
I bring heat to the stage
Yeah, yes
A lot of people be quite honest a lot of people won't fuck them. You know how this comedy game is. Yeah, sometimes
People will not share their platform with you if there's any case that you could fucking just go crazy
Yeah, and I'm telling you when you said yo, do you gonna be in Cancun Do you mind doing my show I was excited about that, but I didn't know in the contract
There was like you had to have a certain amount of black people to perform on your show. That's right
Yeah, so I don't know if it was for you to get the check
or it was for you respected me as a standard I
First of all, I couldn't believe there was a black person in Mexico. I didn't know you guys go there and then
And then I
Do actually very much admire I've seen you on on these shows and there's this thing where it's a real skill set like I knew
You could obviously you can do whatever as a comic but there is always something I think we everybody just stand up respects it
Not no I was gonna say just eat a bullet.
Meaning like go out first to a cold crowd.
And get them going.
It is a skill set.
Not everybody can do it.
And so I was actually very grateful that you would do it.
Oh, so you mean you gave me the shitty part of the show.
There was no other part of the show.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, you're right about that.
That was just that.
Just true to what you said.
True to what you said.
It was like that.
It was weird.
It was weird as shit. It was a weird route. But I know what, you know, it's to what you said. True to what you said. It was like that. It was weird. It was weird as shit.
It was a weird route.
But I know what, you know,
it's so funny you said take the bullet
cause I knew I had a certain amount of time, right?
Yeah.
And at the end of the day,
I knew I had to set it up for you.
Yeah. And also the reference-
When I finish, I know it's your shit.
I just think the reference to bullets
is something you'd probably be familiar with.
Keep going.
Ooh.
What, dude?
I thought-
Ooh.
Ooh.
I thought that was just like a way-
It don't matter what I do for this motherfucker. I mean- Oh, wow. I thought that was just like a way. It don't matter what I do for this motherfucker.
I mean, oh wow.
I thought that's like how.
Anyway, back to me, given the fuck about your show,
I say, you know what?
You got a certain amount of time.
You're gonna eat 10 minutes of that time
just getting these people to order.
And with that, I knew what the job was.
I got on stage, I mess with the audience.
So it was only like 10 minutes of real time
before I got it, but I got it for you. You did,. You did. I think I figured one of your boys one time too.
You did? Joe Rogan. I was with Dave, I don't know if it was Canada or wherever we was, it was supposed to be
Tony hit Tony, Joe Rogan did me and Dave right and it was one of those
amphitheaters and it was daytime that That's how we normally roll, right? So the thing was Joe Rogan and Dave Spill they are stars of the show
Yeah
If you give them the best time to perform, that's what you have to do it sure
So I was supposed to perform at a certain time and I was ready because I knew we was gonna get the show at the nighttime
There's a good the top right and then Jeff from live nation. He came up to me, you know, he walks like a penguin, right? Yeah
Jeff from Live Nation, he came up to me. You know how he walks like a penguin, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's very good.
Right, he was like this.
Donnie, listen, I said, motherfucker, I already know.
You wanna switch line up, right?
You wanna switch, I could've been a bitch and be like,
no, ain't no bit for Dave.
But I already knew, I knew Joe wanted the room
at the best part.
So this is one of the better sets I've had in my career.
I had to switch my spot, suck up my ego,
and take that audience from daytime to nighttime
for when the sun is setting.
And when I did it, it was like, it got dark,
and next thing you know, motherfucking Joe Rugger
came out there, Joe Rung came out there
and ate the room up.
Yeah, I mean, that is a gracious thing of you to do.
It really is.
And I mean, I'll tell you this,
no, you're very, very capable, you're very talented.
The other thing I'll say,
and I mean this in the gayest way possible,
no, listen, you smell really nice today.
I know I smell nice,
did I tell you these white boys are gonna love this smell,
son?
You smell good, bro.
Stop quash your fucking pocket-ass shit.
I know.
We love you, Don-El. We love you, Don-El.
We love you, Don-El.
I mean it in a gay way, I love you.
What a nice drop-in.
That was really unexpected and a lot of fun.
It was a lot of fun.
No, that was great.
That was great.
That was amazing.
He's a sweetheart.
Okay.
Yes, my love.
I have to wrap up.
Cause I have to go to the other studio studio, the
production office, the P.O. studio. And next time we'll do my tic tocs because I do. I miss doing
those next time. Thank you to everybody for listening, watching. Thank you to Donal Rollings
for giving us the latest in black news. And we will see you guys next week. Bye bye. I'm walking through your mind's high with my shoes on Graduated from lovey to dyno Cop me a Schwinn, now I'm riding Tricdo
I keep a word about a friend with Hattie and Bunny
Hopping like a motherfucker round the city
Motherfuckers ain't fazed me
Gonna need a 10-speed just to chase me
Cause I'm a 24-7 freak, daniac
Buck a shit in your mouth, how you feel about that?
Hey Hitler!
I know you're coming back with Lance Armstrong's nut in a Jimmy hat
Put some respect on my name
Young Patreon! Riding nut in a Jimmy hat Put some respect on my name, young Patreon
Rotten bikes and a day job, they stop tryna pass me
I make you marry a fuck cause I'm gas
I'm like Steven Seagal with the karate shot
Making motherfuckin' bodies dry
What you know about pecs, oh, you need a ride, ho
I'ma buy a Polly, not by their regatta
Don't call me, he better call me they
Jenda B.S. Trill, I'm outta space
Never seen a fella peddle so fast
Ever since Grandpa Melissa, your retarded ass
My spokes chrome
My bars chrome
My rings chrome
You know that we own
My pedals nice
I'm wearing ice
I'm throwing dice
You feel me, you know I'm talkin' bout
I'm sayin' BICE! Now dice You feel me, you know what I'm talking about, I'm saying BICE!
Now everywhere I go, the people wanna know
Lincoln is helpful
Yeah
How you ride a bike with your jeans so tight, y'all
I can feel the rashes, but they ain't be fucking dead
I tell them, listen up, I'll give you a tip
If you pull them up hard, that'll do the trick
Are you feeling this shit?
Gentlemen, my asshole, tighter than it's ever been
Tryna fuck with me, my ain't throat's into the killer
I'm riding it high while I'm popping the willa
Next stop, brown talk
Gotta pull the bike over just to pop a squad
Make brown, feel it dripping down
Top dog, pretty patty to the bathroom now
Drop them jaws, bout to get it on
Boom pow, surprise, it's a cherry bomb
Hit it with the blasters, splash, splash, splash
He just painted the bowl and all that
Bert Chrysler, so damn fat
Make a motherfuckin' tire run flat Bikes! Need a break from the crowded stores and endless gift lists?
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