Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - A Message From Our New President w/ Special Appearance by Donnell Rawlings | YMH Ep. 784

Episode Date: November 6, 2024

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Head to https://CoorsLight.com/YMH to get a Coors Light delivered straight to your door. Try VIIA! https://bit.ly/...viiaymh and use code YMH! This week on Your Mom's House Podcast, the Main Mommies are back together for a very presidential episode! Tom opens the show with an audio clip of President Lyndon B Johnson ordering some new pants, before playing a message from the brand new president of YMH Studios New Christine! She's got some BIG ideas to make the show greater and is really into cactus videos for some reason. Tim and Tina then move on to discuss some trending killers from TV, including the Dating Game killer, the Menendez brothers, and on that same topic, they also address the Garth Brooks allegations. They also share some stuff they're dealing with in their personal lives, talk about #FartWalk, laugh at some old men doing silly things, check out a tight realtor, and speculate on what's happening with Frankie Valli. Tom and Christina also get a massive surprise visit from comedian Donnell Rawlings to cap things off! This is a great episode, so pull up them jeans and try it out, we got some real slick stuff here. Your Mom’s House Ep. 784 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinaponline.com/tour-dates https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This week I will be in San Diego at the Pechanga Arena on November 8th and I'll be in Phoenix at the Footprint Center on November 9th. Next month I'll be in New Orleans, Louisiana at the Lakefront Arena on December 7th and I'll be in Pensacola, Florida at the Pensacola Bay Center on December 8th. All the tickets are at TomSegura.com slash tour. Welcome to your mom's house. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform that is perfect for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything.
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Starting point is 00:01:34 Head squarespace.com slash mom to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using the code mom. Welcome to another episode of your mom's house. It is great to be back in studio. We have been working hard outside of here. It's always fun to come back. This is my most favorite thing that we do.
Starting point is 00:01:54 It is so much fun. Together. Yes, we raise family. Yes, we make marital love way better than all the stuff we do together. Yeah. Than having a family. This is so much more fun.
Starting point is 00:02:04 So boring. That's so much more work. So much and so tiring. Yeah. It's so tiring all the stuff we do together. Yeah, is that having a family? This is so much more fun So boring, that's so much more work so much and so tiring. Yeah, I'm tired all the time If you were like we want to swap out family for more podcasts. I'd be like, yeah Killer man. Yeah dog Congratulations to the new president of the United States good luck Anyway anyway of the United States. Good luck. Anyway. Anyway, so much going on, so much has happened since we've been in here. There's a lot to cover.
Starting point is 00:02:31 We've just been very busy. I've been working on my series. I know. So I've been in production. It's been nice having you home, I have to say. It's been very nice. I've been thrilled. I haven't had a time off the road like this like where I'm still working
Starting point is 00:02:47 But not in that capacity in a long time. I know you're you're a traveling salesman for a living I travel all the time and this is really nice to be shooting in Austin Oh my gosh, you know and like getting to go to work like sleep in your own bed Get up in the morning go to work come back. in your own bed, get up in the morning, go to work, come back. Take a shit. Take, yeah, I always shit, yeah. And I will say, and I've said this to agent jeans and to the executives that came to visit your set the day I was there, that I have never seen you this happy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Ever, truly. And I really hope you continue to make television or film or whatever it is, because I, you work these 12 hour days, 14 hour days, six, seven days a week and you come home and you're thrilled. And you're never complaining and you're never like upset. And I have to say, I don't want to, I'm not going to talk about what the show is, but I think this is the culmination of 20 years of you in comedy. I think it is by far the greatest thing you've done creatively because it's all the things you wanted to put into a project.
Starting point is 00:03:49 And I'm so stoked for people to see it and I think it's going to be huge. I think people are really going to love it. Well, that remains to be seen, but I will say that I am having a really good time and I do find it really fulfilling. Like it really is creatively fulfilling. It's so much fun to have been a part of developing this thing, writing it, and now producing and acting. And then I got to direct some too, which I'd never been able to. You know what's great is you're an actor, director, writer, producer. You know what I'm saying? I'm a choreographer. You know what I'm saying? I dance and shit. I DJ. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:04:21 And just like I'm a multi hyphenate. You know what I'm saying? You are that guy now. Yeah. DJ, you know what I mean? And just like, I'm a multi hyphenate, you know what I'm saying? You are that guy now. Yeah. But you legit are. And I will say that I got to watch you direct, I came to set. Yep.
Starting point is 00:04:31 And I was like, this is where my jeans should have always been. This is the perfect pair of jeans for you. It is pretty nice. I'm thrilled that you found it. It was fun. And I know, you know, I took advantage of the fact that it's my show and I was like,
Starting point is 00:04:45 I've always wanted to direct. Because I knew if I was like, hey, can you get me a directing job? Everyone would be like, no. So on this one, I was like, hey, I want to direct something. And they were like, OK. So I just took advantage of it. And that's how you do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:56 And that's how you do it, kids. You build the opportunity for yourself. I think that was brilliant of you. It's exciting. You're a brilliant man, Somsagor. I'm glad I married you. You're the one. You're the winner. I'm glad I married you. You're the one, you're the winner. I'm glad I married you too, Jean. Really?
Starting point is 00:05:08 Thanks. Of course. There's so much to, we really have a lot to cover today. So much, dude, bro. That I feel like we should just get into it. Can we get into it? I'd love to. I've got a lot to share.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Let's start the show. Let's keep it presidential for the opening. Here we go. Yeah. Mr. Hager? Yes, it's Joe Hager. You all made me some real light weight slacks and they're real light weight now i need about six pairs for some aware
Starting point is 00:05:34 the pocket when you sit down in the chair the knife and your money comes out so i needed at least another inch in the pocket another thing that crotch down where your nuts hang is always a little too tight. It's just like riding a wire fence. When I gained a little weight they cut me under there. So let's see if you can't leave me about an inch from where the zipper ends around under my back from my bunghole. If you get those tummy. I was sure be grateful Mom's house with Tom Segura What? President Johnson. I didn't know I liked him so much. You know what I like when he's like back to my bunghole. Yeah, but I know what he's talking about. That line that goes, it
Starting point is 00:07:14 cuts under my cooch sometimes too and I hate it. Imagine if you had a pair of nuts down there. Dude. Well you might soon. Right? Well, considering it. I am considering it now that I've had the double mastectomy. I do have implants, but I could go flat and I could go through with the hormones and everything and be the man I've always wanted to be. Could be. It's just a matter of who you are and who you want to be. The... Can't wait.
Starting point is 00:07:36 The cool thing about Johnson, first of all, proud Texan. We're happy to have you, sir. Yeah, he was known to like, he called his penis jumbo and he would show it to people and He also I think he had a showerhead installed in the White House for his asshole He was like I need a something to wash my asshole out. That's what we believe in Yeah, pretty cool guy. I'd be voting for him today. Pretty cool. I like that. He belched on that call So do I? Yeah, he is a man. I'm sure be grateful Where do you want to send him? White House?
Starting point is 00:08:14 It sounds just like it sounds like the guy that maintains the yard. Yeah. Calling for it. You're like who is that? Oh, that's the president of the United States. The belch was a tad disrespectful. It just was. I mean, yes, I make phone calls on the toilet as I'm peeing and shitting but I don't burp into the phone with Brendan Yeah, pretty crazy man speaking of presidents. We actually got a Message from our president. So why don't we just go ahead and take a look at that before we go any further Welcome back Christine. I'm glad you're feeling better. I love you and Tom together I love you and Tom together. You guys are so, so hot. Thank you guys so, so much for making me the president.
Starting point is 00:08:50 I had so much fun with you guys, like, watching the special needs chefs and then fat people at Disney. Oh, and then what was that guy's name? Duncan. Duncan with the P. I'm already so hard at work you guys being the president I think what the podcast needs and the office is Sexy those little clips that you guys do. It's way sexier. Then why don't you guys just play videos of like cactus? We need it. I think that's what's gonna make it thrive. I think that's what the viewers want. So yeah Anyway, new Christine, new president, signing off.
Starting point is 00:09:29 That's fucking crazy. I never thought of that. What does she want? Videos of sexy? Sexier stuff, first of all, which makes sense. We should have sexier content. And then cactus stuff, which we've never even discussed. What do you mean cactus stuff? Like the plant? Like cactus? I think so. Is that what she's saying? I don't even understand what Which we'd never even we've never discussed cactus stuff like a plant like cactus Is that what she's saying? I don't even understand what that is. There's videos here for us to play. I guess that she flagged This is for all the cactus loving content people out there. This is my newest cactus I picked up for seven dollars the other day I believe this is the blue candle cactus and I just realized I've said cactus like three times already
Starting point is 00:10:02 How could you not like this thing? It is super cool like look at that It's just yeah, it's pretty sweet has all these little thorns or spines Pretty pokey gotta watch out for them I just repotted it in this terracotta pot the soil that I came in was really not good It wasn't a well draining so I put it in a new cactus mix It's got lots of perlite, and it's just a well-draining soil, so I put it in a new cactus mix that's got lots of perlite and it's just a well-draining mix. Now, I want this to be in my self-fissing window, but I can't just put it right there
Starting point is 00:10:31 in full sun, otherwise it's probably going to get a little bit of burn. So I'm going to put it off to the corner here. Oh, very smart. A little bit of morning direct sunlight, but I think it'll do well in the spot. And then once it acclimates to this location, then I'll put it in full Sun But otherwise, I think that's me it thanks for watching. See ya That's fucking cool, man. I didn't first of all I never knew that if you put it in direct Sun you could burn it was a cactus is it doesn't it live indirect Sun
Starting point is 00:10:57 Why are you I mean, it's so stupid. This is stupid We're not gonna put cactus cactus hot cacti in the office Is that what she wants us to do and and inform the audience about it? Yeah. Oh my god This is such a dummy a dummy idea. No, it's not. It's a dummy Tom. Do you guys think it's dumb? No, definitely not No, really. No, okay I'm pretty engaged. I'm not gonna lie. That was a pretty cool fact. It's pretty cool. It is one to know about more about cactuses It's pretty cool. Yeah, but he doesn't-
Starting point is 00:11:25 Today I'm going to show you how to water a cactus. This is my blue candle cactus, and it's just soaking up all that extra spring sunlight. Down here is a pincushion cactus. Oh, wow. It's got these beautiful pink blooms right now. Look at that. It looks absolutely gorgeous. Gorgeous.
Starting point is 00:11:37 First thing you want to look for is to make sure that the soil is absolutely bone dry, and sometimes you might even see a little bit of wrinkling on the plant like this one. That just means it's dehydrated. And it needs a good thorough watering. Don't be scared to give these plants a lot of water. As long as they're in an appropriate soil, as well as a terracotta pot with a drain hole, then you shouldn't be able to overwater these.
Starting point is 00:11:55 You can see there's a little bit of kind of bubbling here. It's just dry air pockets. So I'm gonna keep giving it water until the tightness of the plant is thoroughly saturated. That's how you do it. You give it more, you water is thoroughly saturated. I do have another one here as well. Same thing, it's in a cactus.
Starting point is 00:12:10 It's in a plastic pot, but it does have drain holes. So I'm just gonna let that drain through until it comes out the bottom. Sometimes you might even have to let it soak in a container just so it can get saturated. Otherwise, that's all I do. Thanks for watching. Well, I could tell you right now, speaking for the audience, they're going to want a
Starting point is 00:12:27 lot more of this. So I would... This is so dumb. It is not dumb. Nobody wants more cactus content. He's not even sharing actual information about the cactuses. He just showed us first of all, how to manage sunlight and how to water it. Like five times the same information over and over. It's very cool.
Starting point is 00:12:44 I think the audience gets it, guys. I don't think they get it. Like five times the same information over and over. It's very cool. I think the audience gets it, guys. I don't think they get it. Oh my God. So pull a lot more cactus videos. Will do. And also a huge thank, obviously, to our president, New Christine. President Stupid Tits.
Starting point is 00:12:58 You know her tits are big and fake too. I can bake tits like that too. Big fucking deal, I can buy them. When you get like this, it's so unattractive. What are you talking about? Just let her fucking deal, I can buy them. When you get like this, it's so unattractive. What are you talking about? Just let her fucking guide us. Oh my God. Thank you, New Christine,
Starting point is 00:13:09 and thank you for your guidance. You know, it's a really rude, this is rude. It's not rude. You know what, this brings me to my first topic I would like to discuss, Tom. I watched a Megan Fox movie. Subservience. Subservient.
Starting point is 00:13:26 It's a spoiler alert, what I'm about to say. Okay, guys, but see if you can tell where this is headed. It's Megan Fox, who's a big fat dog, ugly yucky. Yucky, is it a good movie? I'll tell you that in a minute. But here's the deal, man, is that it's a Megan Fox robot that you can hire to live in your house and take care of your kids and do your laundry and cook
Starting point is 00:13:46 And clean what do you think's gonna happen to the alone guy? Single dad who has the Megan Fox robot in the house. What do you think's gonna happen? I think his peepee is gonna grow at some point Does it spoiler alert? He fucks her ah and his wife His wife's in the hospital and he's lonely. Yeah. Why is she in the hospital?
Starting point is 00:14:09 It's a fantasy. She needs a heart transplant. Oh boy. I know, so it's heavy, right? Yeah. And he's all sad cause he's so, he's super horny and like his fucking wife's being all lazy in the hospital with her heart stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Well, he's probably grieving too. I mean, cut him a little fucking slack. Yeah, he's grieving and he's horny. Yeah, of course. He doesn't know how to deal with the emotions of the trauma. Oh, and so... Sometimes they channel through you differently, you know? Through your peener? Sure, and then you're like,
Starting point is 00:14:35 oh, fuck, there's a robot here? Exactly. Not only that, a Megan Fox robot. And she's like, she's all like, Tom, she's all like, I want what you want. Whatever you want makes me happy. I serve you. And so his boner grows and grows,
Starting point is 00:14:50 and then one day, dude, he fucking busts nuts in her, and then what do you think happens? There's a baby robot grow inside of her? I wish. No, the wife finds out. How? Is she getting her heart fucking transplanted? She did, she gets a dumb baboon heart or whatever,
Starting point is 00:15:06 she comes home. She's like. And then the robot overrides her programming and becomes kind of a, oh, she's all, that's my family now bitch. Like come on, we saw that coming. Okay. Anyways, so fucking wife finds out.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Yeah. And she's all, she's all put that fucking robot in the basement. So then now Megan Fox is downstairs in the basement and husband home. He's like, what's up, babe? She's like you tell me you fuck the robot you fucked Megan Oh stop that's Kate. So I was kind of like Big deal big diff. It's basically like a dildo with a personality in a hot face. Yeah cheating I mean, it's a robot
Starting point is 00:15:44 Is it I mean, that's okay. Do you think the what's it called? What's those like fuck sleeves that people? That's what I was thinking about. What are they called? Flesh lights. If your flesh light had a personality and like a hot face on it, does that change the nature of the masturbation? I mean, I guess it changes it in that it's you're you're upping the game right? It's like it's becoming more real to your brain. Right. Right. Then does
Starting point is 00:16:11 it become cheating if you fuck a sex robot? And then I started thinking because it's got serious philosophical implications. It does. It does. Yeah. Would it be cheating if I had like you know those those life size flesh dolls that these pervert guys get? And they're heavy as shit. She's, this one's 200 pounds. And she just like lays it on the couch and fucks it and then puts her vagina in the dishwasher to clean it out. What if I had a fuck robot, Carl, and he's in the closet. Yeah. And I was like, all right, Tom, I'm just going to go fuck Carl.
Starting point is 00:16:42 I'll be right back. Yeah. Like it's first of all, What would that do to you? I know, well, a couple of things is like any woman that has bought a fuck doll robot. You're like, this woman, she's like, she's real fucked up, I think. Well, yeah, we've had female comics on here
Starting point is 00:16:58 that would probably do that. Probably, I mean, I think it would like fill the role for a lot of people. Yeah. You know, who don't have someone. Sure. But it's still not a human being. It's a robot. It's not.
Starting point is 00:17:11 But it sounds like what this is about is how convincing is the robot. Exactly. Because right now, if you were like, I'll get the best version available, it's still gonna be... Yeah, it's like... Need a break from the crowded stores and endless gift lists? Restore your zen and embrace the natural power of cannabis this holiday season with Vaya. Vaya is well renowned for their award-winning THC
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Starting point is 00:19:33 Fall feels good when you choose chill and then reach for a Coors Light. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com slash YMH. Coors Brewing Company, Golden Colorado, celebrate responsibly. Wait, bring up those real dolls. And also, what's the guy, how is that the current best doll fuck you? It just goes, like, it's just like a, it's a gun, you know? That's what the women look like currently. Yeah. The fuck dolls.
Starting point is 00:20:05 I mean, would you be mad if I fucked that doll? Okay, but if it looked like Megan Fox in this movie. No, no, no, stop saying that. No, the doll, I'd be seriously worried for you. It's kind of worrying, but here's the thing. I guess if it looked human, more human, then you're like, well, what are you doing this for? I'm like, what, it's a doll.
Starting point is 00:20:24 I'm just fucking a doll. Right, but then the're like, well, what's, what are you doing this for? I'm like, what? It's a doll. I'm just fucking a doll. Right. But then the more human it gets, cause Megan Fox is programmed to be more human than you're like, but you're banging a human. You know, it's, it's human-like it's so it's better to keep them creepy and inanimate is what I'm saying. Well, here's the thing though. The appeal to the amount of people, like the people who see the creepy dolls and go like,
Starting point is 00:20:46 yeah, I'm not interested, like myself, I'd be like, I don't wanna fuck that thing. Right? You go, what would appeal to you? A more human one. But then it's still not human though. I know, but I'm telling you, watch this movie. So is your, what's your verdict on it?
Starting point is 00:21:00 Cause at first I was like, why is this bitch crying? Like, it's just a fuck robot. Like, it's just a robot. But then it's the role that the robot takes in the family and then the emotional support that she provides and then you're like, oh, like she's taking the place of a woman. She's taking my place and then I wanna fucking kill her.
Starting point is 00:21:18 You know what I mean? I got you. I'd be like, you fucking bitch. Well, it sounds like there will not be a Megan Fox doll in our house. No way. Oh, the problem too is that the Megan Fox is his type. That's his type. So the woman, the wife, she's in the hospital,
Starting point is 00:21:33 Megan Fox walks in, the robot, and she's like, what the fuck, dude? I know that's your type. Do you know what I mean? And that would upset me if it was like a blonde, oh, it's big tits, like our new president. What are you talking about? That's just fucking we're lucky to have somebody like that running this place That's all that's all business. You're confusing
Starting point is 00:21:54 business with Okay, so I want to check out the movie now. I just watched a movie last night Woman of the Year. Is that good? What is that? It's really good. Anna Kendrick stars in it and she directed it.
Starting point is 00:22:10 She did a really good job. I have to say, she did a really good job. Isn't that what it's called? 2024, yeah. Let's see. Yeah. Oh, Woman of the Hour. Did I say year?
Starting point is 00:22:22 It's Woman of the Hour, my bad. Woman of the Hour. It's on Netflix So it's based on a real story and the real story is that in some time and I think in the 70s That the dating game. Mm-hmm, which was where a woman would sit normally as like the you know the featured person of the show. And she would ask questions to three men behind a partition. And you know, like if we were to go out on a date, where would you take me?
Starting point is 00:22:52 Like that kind of stuff. And then the three guys would give their answers. And at the end of the show, the woman would be like, I choose Bachelor number two. Like it was that kind of show. And this really happened, where in whatever year this was, sometime in the 70s I think,
Starting point is 00:23:08 one of the participants was a guy who was eventually discovered to be a serial killer. And he won. He was the one. Oh my God, she was charmed by him? Well, I think they take some liberties in how it goes, but like of the three You know the way it's portrayed. I don't know if it's actually this way
Starting point is 00:23:30 one guy was a dumb dumb the other guy was Kind of a douchebag and then this guy was sort of the of the three the one who gave the most I guess charming or Answers that just kind of made her go like yeah, that's a good answer gave the most, I guess, charming or answers that just kind of made her go like, yeah, that's a good answer, you know? Like that kind of thing. It was just like inoffensive, like he just kind of played it right.
Starting point is 00:23:54 In reality, I know that in looking it up, what's the guy's name? I think it's Rodney. Rodney Alcala. Rodney Alcala. So in reality reality the woman who Chose the guy. Yeah Said that like the date that was then because they give you a prize. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's cute. Yeah
Starting point is 00:24:20 Yeah, it always looks like they could have killed up as many as 130 women But I'll calla But Alcala, she met him, obviously, like on the show and said that he was so off-putting that she just didn't go on the date. Wow. Yeah. She sensed it straight away. She sensed something was off about the guy. I like how casting wasn't put off by him.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Yeah. So, they didn't ever went out on their date? They never went out on their date. So that's the whole movie? Well, the movie, I don't want to give away the movie. The movie depicts them meeting and then kind of her spending a little time with him that night. And then her being, but first of all, her portrayal, her directing of like how this story is told was phenomenal. The violence in the movie of him being the serial killer was so well done,
Starting point is 00:25:14 like in a terrifying way. She really nailed it. I thought it was just, it was really good. Well, this sounds like a movie right up your alley. A serial killer, lots of violence, love. You also love love stories. You and I love the millionaire matchmaker. This movie apparently has all Tom Segura's
Starting point is 00:25:33 favorite elements. Yeah, this guy was a real goofball, this Rodney Arcola guy. Oh yeah. But she really, she did a great job. She's great, she's talented. And she was great as the actress as well. She really portrayed it well.
Starting point is 00:25:46 So highly recommend it. Check it out. I also saw Lake George. I went to a screening of Lake George, which is a new movie starring Shea Whigham and Sherry Coons. Love Shea Whigham. And it was really, really good. good like a neo-noir Take about these two who are both kind of midlife fuck-ups. Mm-hmm who? Are basically thrown into a situation where they have to do
Starting point is 00:26:15 Participate in some criminal activity and it's a it's a really cool movie I highly recommend checking it out. Shea Wiggum is in the Mission Impossible movies If you guys don't know who he is, and he's such a talented actor, it's ridiculous. Mm-hmm. Very cool. Wow, look at us, watching stuff, making stuff happen. Really good, man. Now, some other things have happened.
Starting point is 00:26:35 I think we should get into some of them. Oh my god. In the time that we have not been here, first of all, two infamous goofballs, the Menendez brothers. In the time that, a couple things have come out. There's the Menendez brothers narrative scripted story, like a eight, nine part thing I think Ryan Murphy did that's on Netflix, which is really good.
Starting point is 00:26:59 He does, that's his wheelhouse. He did the Dahmer one. He did the Versace one He did the OJ one. It was like monster like all your favorite stuff. Yeah, so it depicts that and then at the like a week or two later, they released the documentary which is Jesus Christ is it I don't there's this thing about you know, when you watch documentaries About things that happen in your life but that are 20, 30 years earlier, you forget, like even when I watched The Last Dance,
Starting point is 00:27:31 the Michael Jordan thing, I was like, oh yeah, I remember this era. And then you're watching it and you're like, I don't remember, like all these details, you know? Like I just watched the Lance Armstrong story and I was like, yeah, I remember the Lance Armstrong story. But when you get the insight into the story, it's really like fascinating
Starting point is 00:27:46 I did not recall so much about the Menendez brothers story and it is Fucking cool. It is so difficult to get through that doc Because but that's why we got to release these guys back out in the world They feel bad for now that the stuff that I'm talking about is the child abuse. Oh, yeah. Damn it. Like, here's something that's very telling. When you watch the documentary about the Menendez, for those that are unaware, the Menendez brothers
Starting point is 00:28:14 quite famously were convicted of murdering their parents. They were Beverly Hills rich kids that their father was very very successful businessman movie producer he ran hurts at one point like he was very very high level executive and they murdered their parents in 1989 and were convicted of it in the 96 of many years later it was a crazy crazy thing in in in our culture if you weren't alive at the time or don't recall it and then it you know is one of those things that they've always been a reference in our lifetime of like rich kids entitled and obviously for
Starting point is 00:28:53 eliminating your family and So the story came back and you're like, oh, I remember the men to Menendez brother story And then you watch it and you're like, oh my god Like I don't remember all this shit you watch the doc and you realize how abused these guys were but this is my point. There's this one Part in the documentary where they're interviewing the prosecutor the prosecutor who's like these guys are fucking Psychos like it was a pleasure to put them behind bars at one point in the in that interview with the prosecutor She says well, I will say this about their father with the prosecutor, she says, well, I will say this about their father,
Starting point is 00:29:25 their father who was murdered by them. She goes, the day he died, the world became a better place. Oh, wow. They couldn't find, that woman right there on the left, they couldn't find one person to be a character witness about the father during the trial. Not one person was willing to say a nice thing about him. She's like, he was a horrible piece of shit about the victim of a murder
Starting point is 00:29:48 It's pretty it's pretty telling that she actually says that she was like, yeah, he was a fucking horrific human being That being said here's the update for those that don't know LA District Attorney George Gascon recently announced a recommendation to Attorney George Gascon recently announced a recommendation to re-sentence Eric and Lyle Menendez who were convicted The 1989 murder of their parents decision could allow the brothers who have spent 34 years in prison a chance at parole Gascon cited recent findings that under today's understanding of trauma and abuse their claims of enduring years Sexual abuse by their father would have been taken more seriously a new sentencing proposal set at 50 years to life would make them eligible for immediate parole due to their age at the time of the crime. The potential resentencing has sparked mixed emotions. Many family members and advocates
Starting point is 00:30:38 including attorney Mark Garagos support the recommendation highlighting the brothers efforts toward rehabilitation. However, some families members like Kitty Menendez's brother still believe the original life sentence is justified So that's in the news and of course Kim Kardashian's involved She's become an advocate for their release. Here's there's so many. I mean look this isn't a black and white issue Obviously, there's so much gray zone. How old were they at the time they committed these crimes? 19 and 21. Yeah. But look, here's, my initial instinct is like,
Starting point is 00:31:12 so many people are abused by their parents. That doesn't mean you take shotguns and blow away your mom and dad. Like, there's other things to do, like contact the police, child services. Like, there's a million other things they could have done. So I do worry about their lack of proper judgment.
Starting point is 00:31:29 I mean that is a pretty gnarly thing to do. It was really gnarly and extensive. Yeah, and I get they were abused. I know, I had to stop watching the Netflix series, as much as I love Chloe Savininene, and the guy that plays the dad is Javier Bardem. I love him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:46 But I couldn't, I couldn't. I just, I can't take child abuse. Like, oh. Anyway, Mom, thanks for sharing that story. You like that? Any other murder or serial killer we can talk about before we move on? I'm sure there's plenty.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Oh, there is one special someone. Yeah, there's some other big stories that have come about since we've been doing our thing and stuff like that. One of them is that the one and only Garth Brooks, some of you know him as a very famous country music singer. He has come under serious scrutiny because of very serious allegations. And here is what is going on. Let the conversation begin.
Starting point is 00:32:31 Garth Brooks is facing serious allegations from a former makeup artist. She worked for them for over 15 years, claims that he subjected her to multiple instances of sexual assault 2019 the accuser details disturbing incidents including an alleged assault where Brooks held her upside down By her ankles other accusations include inappropriate advance inappropriate advances and explicit comments that reportedly continued despite her objections in response by the way, she also claimed that he Assaulted her at the Beverly Hills Hotel and then went to the Grammys, like right after that. That's wild. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Like, I gotta go now. Yeah. That is a nice hotel. In response, Brooks has firmly denied the claims, labeling them as fabricated attempts at extortion. He claims the accuser demanded hush money, and the allegations are aimed at harming his reputation as part of his defense He released the accuser's name in court documents a move that has drawn public criticism. He asserts this disclosure was necessary to fully defend himself
Starting point is 00:33:35 Additionally Brooks had recently listed one of his properties for sale a decision some sources speculate could be related to the ongoing Legal battle I really like that his legal team maintains the allegations are opportunistic She goes into great detail probably more detail than we'd want to read on this show but if you are Up for it. You can google the the makeup accuser the makeup artists accusations and they are in real detail in the court documents. And you can see exactly what she is accusing him of. And I leave it up to you if you want to weigh in on what happened.
Starting point is 00:34:19 Excited, scared, nervous, all the good things. What about the deposition? Can you talk about that a bit? No I can't talk about that not even a little bit. No What I feel like I should say is that you Really should in this case just let this Take its course. That's the right thing to do. Honestly G is G and he you know, this is obviously a very serious thing
Starting point is 00:34:45 I feel like the right thing to do because I don't really know is To let I feel like you do know the courts Do their thing and let this take its natural course and we will hopefully have much more To say after it plays out. So So rare I Mean, I just it is wild that it's pretty wild. We've been you know Calling it for a minute guys. This is not news to us. Yeah, so Wow Wowzers Okay, I really like that so
Starting point is 00:35:27 CP yeah, you have been In your treatment. Yeah, I'm almost done guys. I'm done next Wednesday My last round of radiation clap. God damn it in there. I don't hear anybody Thank you. I'm here. It's been terrible. So I have 35 rounds and then that'll be my last one and then I can be done with this shit for a minute. Yeah, but you're not the only one that's been dealing with a lot of shit.
Starting point is 00:35:53 What are you suffering with now, first Invisalign? Dude, my closet flooded. I know, just as bad as cancer. It kind of is when you think about it. It is. It was horrible. It was horrible, a thing burst and then the water came gushing down your guys the guys were So they're up there fixing because we had like a hot water issue and then the next day
Starting point is 00:36:15 There's a leak from the exact spot. That's what it is. They guys came back. I was like, oh what's going on? They're like, oh, there's like a gasket. It wasn't Placed right or maybe it melted or something. I'm like, is that where you guys were? And they're like, I don't know. They're like, I wasn't the guy that did it. I'm like, yeah, but it was your company. They never know.
Starting point is 00:36:35 I gotta talk to Bob. I'm like, okay. That's how it is. Do you think it was your guys' fault? And he's like, I have no idea. Of course it's their fault. Of course I know. We've been taking cold showers for a long long time
Starting point is 00:36:45 And they can't seem to fix it. So your closet flooded at 730 Saturday night. Thank God it was 730 Oh, I know cuz the kids were freaking. I could have been like taking a piss at midnight and been like what is that? Well, I was terrified cuz I didn't know if it was gonna start an electrical fire I'm like fucking the kids are all jacked and freaking out. And then we had to get your clothes out. I thought it was the most exciting thing in the world. They loved it. I called the house.
Starting point is 00:37:12 First thing, I'm just like, oh, I'm on my way home. And Julian is like, there's an emergency at the house. I was like, there's an emergency? He's like, is that why you're calling for the emergency? And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? He's like, there's rain in your closet. And I'm like, what? There was raining. Let me talk to your mom. He goes, talk to me. And I go, no, not you. Let me talk to the adult.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Yeah, he wouldn't let me talk to you. He ran away. Ellis was like so funny. He's like, I'm going to manage the situation. I'll keep an eye on it. And he had like a flashlight pointed there. And he's like, I'm watching it. Yeah. Good. Thank you. It was crazy. So I had the boys help me carry your clothes out so that they didn't get ruined and it was just a sea Of beige it was so crazy. We just kept carrying out boring clothes more boring than the ship before it Okay, put it so wait. Can I give you my full radiation update? Yeah, of course
Starting point is 00:38:01 Okay, so I'm almost done with this fucking terrible treatment. And then... Tell me about your plans, like what you did there though. Oh yeah. Okay. Your first thing that you noticed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about this. So I sent this to Zolo. So when I started treatment, it's a lot of old people and some of them are like, some of them are up to talking. Some of them are just so sick and they can't talk. And I feel like they only had like one issue of better housekeeping in the waiting room. And I was like, this will not do. So I've decided to seed the waiting room with different magazines. And I'm- Cause you said they had poor magazines.
Starting point is 00:38:38 It was literally one episode, one episode, one- Issue. Issue of better housekeeping. And I've been thumbing through it. It's all warped and wilted. And like, these are old people. They're not dead yet. They deserve quality magazines. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:38:52 So I'm starting out, I started out light. I brought in like the National Enquirer with like P. Diddy on the cover of Vogue magazine. And so then there was one with Reagan on the cover. And surprise surprise, the old folks love the Reagan issue. So that's a picture of the, it was open like that the other day. And then, yes, there's a video. There's Reagan. There's the Vogue I left. And then there's the Diddy. Now I'm gonna ramp it up, because this is my last week of radiation
Starting point is 00:39:26 To somewhat soft pornography and I'm should I do like the swimsuit edition I've got an issue of men's health with like a shirtless light-skinned black dude I think I'm gonna leave that but what do you think should be my final magazine? Hustler they don't know it's me. Should I drop full up? Full up? Playboy? Playboy. Because there's a few old dudes I don't know if you've got the image of the old guy. Playboy's gonna get picked up right away You don't think that's- is it- are there like- if you were really- if you really want to do something I would go wherever- it's so hard to find like a good magazine stand. Maybe in some grocery stores now. It's hard I think some grocery stores still have them
Starting point is 00:40:03 If you find like a dedicate Yeah, and I would get like get like a couple of gun magazines. Yeah guns get some travel magazines Then get some gossip stuff like people or whatever Get some car magazines for the dudes. They always love that but it's mostly women for breast cancer And then well then get you know, you're abroad, you know what they like and then get some Yeah, get some like male physiques in there for what they like, and then get some, yeah, get some like male physiques in there for them. Yeah, I'm gonna drop that, the men's fitness.
Starting point is 00:40:30 And one porn would be nice. And then one soft core. What about like Lad mags? Do those exist anymore? Like Maxim? I don't know if that stuck around. Cause here's the thing, these are older folks, they're gonna be offended.
Starting point is 00:40:42 I don't want them to be like appalled. I do want them to enjoy when I'm dropping. Clay girl would be a fucking type of. Bro. Oh yeah, like Maxim. Yeah. I could drop that and it's risque. Is that still a thing?
Starting point is 00:40:51 Is that still out? I don't think it is. I don't know. Or something like that. Yes. Yes. Okay, let's go. In subscription.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Print versions delivered every two months. They do six a year. Oh gosh, that was such a huge Yeah, they don't print as much anymore. But yeah, so I'm super pumped about that I'll be dropping again next week is the last week of treatment So I think on Monday I can drop one and then my last day is Wednesday and I'm gonna drop like the hardcore one Yeah, and then just bounce you gotta do one porn. Yeah one porn. But here's the thing and I wanted to ask you this. Maybe this is too dark of a subject. You can cut this out if you don't like this.
Starting point is 00:41:30 So when you're done with your treatment you ring the bell. There's like a bell ding ding ding. You know it like like that's a piece of shit restaurant you guys like in Vero Beach. Anyway Some of those folks are not gonna make it out. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, some of those folks are not gonna make it out. Do you know what I mean? And so I feel kind of guilty. Like is it smug of me? Cause I am the younger, healthier to be like,
Starting point is 00:41:51 nanny, nanny, I'm done with my treatment. If you're gonna do it like that, it's kind of shitty. And if you go and you go, are you guys done or are you almost done? No? Maybe one day. Or maybe you're just gonna hear God ringing done? No? Maybe one day. Or maybe you're just gonna hear God ringing his bell and you're going home.
Starting point is 00:42:09 God's gonna ring your radiation bell. Yeah, cause like, I mean, look, granted, I got one of the longer courses. So I guess what it is is like, I have to know that I've got cred to do, I do have cred. I've been through a lot of the treatment. You can definitely ring your bell. But yeah, I don't wanna be like a about it
Starting point is 00:42:24 and have them hate me. Maybe then don't do it. Ugh. Okay, like. I don't think you would. I know, I know, but I worry that it comes off as like. You get to ring your bell, right? That's part of the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:33 I haven't seen anybody do it yet, but I'm excited to do it. Okay, and then, so this was the craziest thing that happened in radiation by far. Whew. This is so rad and I can't believe I got a photo of it to share with you guys. So I'm sitting in treatment and whatever in the waiting room got a photo of it to share with you guys. So I'm sitting in treatment and whatever in the waiting room,
Starting point is 00:42:48 that one I just showed you with the magazines, okay. And you're supposed to go into the changing rooms, you change into a gown and then you sit down and you wait for them to come get you to go back to the machines. So I'm fucking sitting there. And in the woman comes out of the changing room, she's wearing the gown and she's fucking barefoot.
Starting point is 00:43:05 This is crazy. Bro, barefoot. Now keep in mind, you've got immunocompromised people, like women in chemotherapy, like they can't be exposed to filth. And then like you should not be barefoot in this facility. But even if it were just a, let's say it has nothing to do with immunocompromised,
Starting point is 00:43:22 just the basic etiquette of you're in a waiting room for anything. A medical facility? Like if you were going to get your physical, it'd be crazy. Like why aren't you wearing shoes? Well, so my stepsister's Indian, hold on, don't show it yet.
Starting point is 00:43:35 And I texted it to Cindy, my sister, and she's like, dude, you just hate feet. Like in our culture, it's fine to have your feet everywhere. I'm like, no, no, no, no, you don't get it. This isn't me being feet phobic and people will accuse me of that. It's that this is a medical place. Oh, there's my buddy Sue, she graduated last week.
Starting point is 00:43:52 And you should not have your feet out where people can get sicker from your feet, your filth. And not only that, this fucking bitch right here, there's a picture of her. She's walking into change, this hippie chick. She fucking sat down next to me in the waiting room and she had bandages around her big toe and around her feet so she had open wounds. Why can't she just wear like slippers or something? Bro, sucks!
Starting point is 00:44:16 Something. Yeah. I was shocked and appalled and I was like oh my god like I had to the staff I was like did you guys see the barefoot lady and they're like no we've seen crazier things than that. I'm like like what my God, to the staff, I was like, did you guys see the barefoot lady? And they're like, no, we've seen crazier things than that. I'm like, like what? Yeah, like what? Well, they radiate people's butt holes, you know that? Like if you get asshole cancer, could you imagine getting your asshole radiated?
Starting point is 00:44:37 I think about it every time when I'm in there and I feel bad for myself, I'm like, at least it's not asshole cancer. Yeah, exactly, it's all perspective. Or your head, cause I see the cast, that you know, it's just terrible. But your head, because I see the cast. Oh, it's just terrible. But yeah, this fucking bitch came in barefoot. I cannot believe it.
Starting point is 00:44:50 By the way, I know Christina has been fired up about this lady for six weeks. Every time she's a fucking barefoot lady walking out. Barefoot lady. I was blown away. I sent out a group text. I do think it's a very strange choice. It's disrespectful to sick people, dude. I was very blown away by this. I sent out a group text. I do think it's a very strange choice. It's disrespectful to sick people, dude.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Yeah. I was very blown away by this. I sent it to so many people. Like you don't have shoes? You have fucking shoes on, dude? She clearly does. She was like a hippie, Austin weird. Does she walk in with shoes?
Starting point is 00:45:17 I don't know. So when, cause there's two waiting rooms, right? Like the outer one and the inner sanctum. And she's in the inner sanctum. And I'm saying like, guys, some days there are, there are comatose people who are so sick from chemo in the hallways, like people that are just on death's door.
Starting point is 00:45:33 Like you have to, you can't go in there and be disgusting. It blew my mind, dude. It fucking blew my mind, bro. I get it. Anyway, that yeah, fired me up. Fire me up. Oh my God. I get it. Anyway that yeah fire me up fire me up. Oh My god
Starting point is 00:45:54 I love it. So that is Lara or Laura She does I guess she does only fans Kind of I don't know if she does regular porn stuff, but she does fart and poop stuff a lot. Good for her. And she farts constantly in her Instagram posts. Good for her. Look, that's the best way to make a living.
Starting point is 00:46:15 I've always felt if you're going to do an OnlyFans or pornography, this is an easy lane. It kind of brings us to... You're gonna drop it right now. What? Go ahead. No, you go ahead. No, no you share it with the world your new gift Well, you're the one that observes it. So why don't you drop it? All right, you guys This is the inventor right here sitting across from me of the double pipe classic. You may remember it was a 2010 you invented this it's in Wikipedia guys
Starting point is 00:46:43 Yeah, there's an actual look actual Wikipedia devoted to my husband. Not Wikipedia, but like Urban Dictionary. Urban Dictionary of a double-pipe classic. My husband invented it. It's when you burp and fart at the same time. It's very rare. Very rare. Yeah, and I had one this year, which was pretty crazy.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Which was really cool. We haven't had it in a few years. Something incredible happened two weeks ago, and we can't stop talking about it thinking about it Go ahead. Well, I've been doing you're talking about fart walking. Of course. I'm talking about yeah, but fart walking more in the mornings and I've fart walked. I think we all have in life, you know No, not like you but the I'm saying it's happy like you've walked somewhere and farted as you walked and you're like Oh, this is happening. Whatever you're on the street
Starting point is 00:47:26 You're going somewhere and you're like I'm farting as I walk and it's it's usually I think a pretty joyful experience But what's happened lately is I think because of my protein intake in the evenings Is that when I wake up for like my? Sort of the pee before it's time to like, you know, the last one, it's like 6.30 or so. I, as I'm walking from the bed to the restroom, I fart walk. I'm like,
Starting point is 00:47:54 Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft. The whole way. But what, you know, I don't know if you're conveying this properly though, is that you are able to fart on each step. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Yeah. And you got about, I would say, five or six farts and steps in, which is, I think, very difficult, very rare. And if you're out there fart walking like it's no big deal, go ahead and share.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Well, the best part is that as I do it I'm like, I'm always I'm pretty pleased with myself as I do it. I'm like, this is pretty cool And then you go that's a real nice way to wake up Because it'll be like your alarm basically it is my every morning like and fart and wake me up. Yeah I'm like this is cool, huh? Guys hashtag hashtag fart walk fart and wake me up. Yeah, I'm like, this is cool, huh? This is cool. Guys, hashtag, hashtag fart walk. Fart.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Fart. Fart. Fart. Fart. But it's not like that. It's, ff, ff, ff, ff, ff. It matches your walk. So if you can fart walk, go ahead and tag us, hashtag fart walk.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Yeah. I want to see that. That's pretty strange. It doesn't happen very often. It was cool. It was very cool. I was actually quite pleased with it. And you haven't really been able to replicate it since. That's the trouble with it.
Starting point is 00:49:14 I had a few days of it. Yeah, days, yeah. Really, I think it's very much related to your consumption the night before. I think you're right. Whatever's happening in your digestive tract the night I think it's related to protein powder especially for you Mmm, because I've noticed your fart smell a certain way when you've been drinking those shakes. Yeah drink those protein shakes. Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:49:35 Had one today. Oh Okay, well, maybe we'll get I don't feel anything in my system right now, but if you fart is hot and tangy I know that's a fish fart. Mmm, you had some of if you fart is hot and tangy, I know that's a fish fart. You had some of those the other day, hot and tangy. Oof, I had bad fish the other day too. Yeah, I know, you were shitting all day. Horrible. Horrible.
Starting point is 00:49:54 It gives you PTSD in that, like I remember when I got food poisoning from salmon in Las Vegas 10 plus years ago. Oh, I remember it. That time I avoided salmon for six, nine months. I was so, just remember it. I didn't that time I avoided salmon for six nine months I was so just like I just didn't trust it anymore. It's disgusting. Yeah No, I know it's like the time I puked up spaghetti bolognaise in 2006 It took me years to get back to have that again, right? Yeah. I remember every time I vomited
Starting point is 00:50:19 This one fucked me up. It was sea bass, which I love You know what too, it's so buttery and oily. Oh wow, it's pretty rich. It could have been that too. When's the last time you puked? I puked I think earlier this year, but it wasn't not related to... Mine was October 30th, 2019. That's your last vomit?
Starting point is 00:50:39 Yeah. Wow. You had that ready to go. You want to see some cool shit? Yeah. Check this out. Low Langley, it's Clayton Elber is your favorite realtor with Remax Sabre. Let me introduce you to my brand new listing at 20636
Starting point is 00:50:53 East Lake Crescent. So tight. Welcome to the Georgia Condominiums. Come on in and have a look. Stop. He's so Canadian. Yeah. This two bedroom, two bath condo
Starting point is 00:51:03 has all the modern luxuries. Quartz countertops, stainless steel appliances, nine foot ceilings, built in 2020, it feels brand new. It feels brand new. The shirt is too tight. And the jewelry's great. Look, I think he's got a great personality. He's got swag for sure.
Starting point is 00:51:21 I mean, I don't know if he is doing the shirt as a bit Or if he's just like yeah, this shirt looks good I think he thinks it looks good cuz I'm gonna go even have two-car tandem parking below. Please have a look around Okay. Nice place. Yeah. With this bright balcony and mountain view, you'll be doing tons of relaxing. As for me, Clayton Elbers, your favorite realtor. We'll see you at the open house. All right. Take care. Clayton Elbers.
Starting point is 00:52:03 I like Clayton Elbers. Yeah. No, I'm going to go. Are those tats on his chest? Bro, zoom in. They care, eh? Clayton Albers. I like Clayton Albers. Yeah. No, I'm gonna go- Are those tats on his chest? Bro, zoom in. They are, right? I think that's part of his look, the chain. I think so. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:12 Those are tats. Yeah, chest tats. That's why he wears it unbuttoned so you see them. It's quite open. I mean, that's three or four buttons open. Yeah. Yeah. Can we tell what they are?
Starting point is 00:52:22 Are those like Rihanna paw prints? Is that an animal? That i'm saying looks like a tiger we're doing some research. Okay. Oh my god unbelievable. I like him the I mean, he's definitely you know like I said a Charismatic dude. Um, yeah chain is definitely on point. Um Oh, he's all tigers. Oh, yeah, it's a tiger and a lion. Oh, he's all tagged. It is tigers! Oh yeah, it's a tiger and a lion.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Oh, he's the best! That's what he looks like, dude. Oh, wow. This guy rules, he's a daddy. Hell yeah, dude. Clayton. That's your realtor? That's why he dresses like that. Holy shit. He's trying to hide his freak, dude.
Starting point is 00:53:04 If he walked up to me though, at the beach, he'd be like, I heard you're trying to sell your house. He'd be like, I'm actually all right. He'd be like, what's your address? I'm not telling you where I live. Yeah, that's how you want your realtor to look. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or do you?
Starting point is 00:53:15 He's got a family. Yeah, he's cool. He's doing his thing. See, but I kind of, like, you know how here in Austin, there's the lawyer that's got the dreads and he's on all the billboards and he's got the tats. Like, what if he's the first realtor to be tatted and fucking gnarly? Like I might go for him.
Starting point is 00:53:31 Yeah, I don't know. I mean, he might be really good. I mean, he definitely, he's definitely on top of the social media. How big is his following on social? That's this fucking guy. No, that's he's not everywhere. I would not hire that lawyer. You're out of your goddamn mind. Is he, he's, he's gotta be personal. No, the attorney that lawyer. You're out of your goddamn mind. Is he, he's gotta be personal injury. No, the attorney that rocks, fuck off, dude. I don't want an attorney that rocks. I want an attorney that's a fucking dork.
Starting point is 00:53:52 I want a dorkiest dork. He's an attorney that burns, bro. He fucking burns, he's faded right now, homie. But personal injury, that's fine. I want a non-Christian attorney that takes no shit. Non-Christian. He has 10k followers That's a good following. I'm telling you he needs to lean into who he really is. Oh, he also does jewelry
Starting point is 00:54:11 Oh, it says licensed realtor, business owner, custom jewelry. Yeah There's like a tattoo. He might own a tattoo shop. Yeah, dude. He's selling grills, tats. Gold teeth, vancouver He's doing oh, yeah, he's doing grills. Yeah, this guy's everywhere. He's got, he's a hyphenate too, you know what I'm saying? I got, I'm a writer, actor, producer, you know what I mean? Tattoo artist, real estate. Yeah, he's doing it all. No, he's doing it.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Oh, that shirt fits him. He's a hustler though. Yeah, he's good, I like him. The shirt's way too fucking tight, Clayton. That shirt is insane. Yeah, Clayton, we're on your side, bro. Yeah, that's a better fitting shirt. That's good, yeah. Everyone's worn it too tight of a shirt. That shirt is insane. Yeah, Clayton, we're on your side, bro. Yeah, that's a better fitting shirt. That's good, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:45 Everyone's worn too tight of a shirt. Of course. We all know the feeling. Of course. But yours is very tight in that one. I also know that feeling too, when you're like, you know what, I'm not going up a size, fuck that. I do it all the time.
Starting point is 00:54:58 Yeah, you're like, I'm not adding an X to the fucking shirt. Can't do it on principle. I am not a double XL and you're just like. See? Do it too, I do it too. I've ordered things too small and then had to have like panels put in
Starting point is 00:55:16 so that I could fit. Cause I'm like, I'm not ordering a size up. I am not a size 10, damn it. Buy it all in the other, and then have it all tailored. I do, I totally. Just make these bigger. I'm such an idiot. I know. I can't do it as a woman, my self-esteem. By the way, can we please fucking talk,
Starting point is 00:55:31 speaking of ridiculous, about Al Pacino? Yeah. I have been obsessed about this one for days. Al Pacino, one of the great actors of our generation. Is that his stupid sound? Hoorah. Hoorah. Al Pacino, one of the great actors of our generation. Hoah! Is that his stupid sound? Hoorah!
Starting point is 00:55:47 Hoorah! She's got a great ass! He does that thing and you're like, okay. It was a scent of a woman. That was like the biggest movie. He plays a blind guy who's foul-mouthed. Everybody loved that fire movie. And then they did this thing in Heat.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Scarface, of course. You know, in Heat where he's great in that. Where like, years later they're like, yeah he's supposed to be on cocaine the whole time. Like that's the character. But then they cut out the stuff they shot that were references and seeing it. So you just see this guy who's like, yeah!
Starting point is 00:56:18 And they're like, and you're like, what the fuck is going on? They're like, yeah he's on coke. You're like, yeah why don't you show it? Dude that makes so much sense now. It's just implied and they're like, yeah I thought you'd know. You're like, yeah, why don't you show it? Dude, that makes so much sense now. He was like, it's just implied? And they're like, yeah, I thought you'd know. I'm like, yeah, we know he's out of his fucking mind. I didn't know that. Now I've got to watch Heat over again.
Starting point is 00:56:32 Oh, Heat's incredible. But he's just like, and this guy walking, and you're like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah, they should tell you that information. That's kind of valuable. Yeah, fucking Cokehead. Oh, but anyway back so great Al Pacino phenomenal talent Is a new dad He's also There's a lot of cool guys that do this they're usually very successful
Starting point is 00:57:00 And the strangest thing he found this sweet sweet girl She is 29. She's 29, yeah. He, there's a little age gap, he is 84. 84 years young. That's a good way of looking at it. So I think that age gap would be 55 years, did I get that right?
Starting point is 00:57:19 I think it's a 55 year age gap. Yeah, there it is. But here's a nice thing about- I'm with the love of my life! Here's a nice thing about this sweet girl, this 29 year old sweet, sweet lady, is that she's got a penchant for older actors or older dudes. Like she was dating Mick Jagger,
Starting point is 00:57:41 who was about that age too. And then, wasn't she with Nicholson, I want to say? Whatever. I can't find the Nicholson one. People were saying she was dating Clint Eastwood for a while. Oh, another young. Can you get the thing? Because it probably would look...
Starting point is 00:57:57 Okay. What a nice girl. She's dating all these cool, nice older gents. He became the new dad at 83. He's now 84. His now ex-girlfriend, they already are. They split already, the baby's three months old and they split. Nor Alfala welcomed their first child together.
Starting point is 00:58:11 Pacino's already a dad to three adult children. Da da da, the daughter, da da da. In March of 2024, Alfala spoke publicly for the first time about her relationship. Oh, Al lives down the street from my house. We started spending every day together playing chess, watching movies. It was like film school with Al Pacino.
Starting point is 00:58:29 I bet that was fucking amazing. Yes. I guess it just became something more. They are no longer romantically involved. Here's everything to know about her. Okay, she's a producer. I'm a producer. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:58:40 She is a producer, graduated from the University of Southern California Cinematic School for the Arts. It's a great program by the way. It is. Continuing her studies from the University of Southern California Cinematic School for the Arts. It's a great program, by the way. It is. Continuing her studies at the University of California Los Angeles, where she obtained a master's degree in film and television producing. In 2018, she produced a short film called, Brosa Nostra, about a fraternity president trying to get his house
Starting point is 00:58:58 to return to the Greek row at Southern California College. After graduating, she reproduced another short film. She executive produced the forthcoming feature Billy Knight which stars Pacino Charlie Heaton Diana Silver's and Patrick Schwarzenegger as well as the apprentice a film about the rise of Donald Trump starring Sebastian Stan Okay You can scroll down So let's see. She welcomed their first son. We got that. Let's see if it has any backstory
Starting point is 00:59:26 They're just friends. Okay. She's been linked to other big names. That's where we're getting to. Let's see who she dated before There she is snuggling Mick Jagger Prior to welcoming Pachina or welcoming a child Pachina She made headlines when she dated Mick Jagger when he was 74 and she was 22 at the time Our ages didn't matter to me. The heart doesn't know what it sees, it only knows what it feels. As a fire and as a fire sign.
Starting point is 00:59:51 And you're right in 2019, I'll follow Spark Romance Rumors with Clint Eastwood after they were photographed leaving Craig's. There is no relationship, we're family friends, my family is there and that's what she said about that. She has three siblings. I don't know if there's any more there, but yeah, that's pretty cool.
Starting point is 01:00:11 She definitely likes older men, which is fine. You can like older men. It's so cool, but the coolest part is to have children with them, you know what I mean? And then break up, the baby's three months old. Well the neat thing for that kid is that there's a lot of footage of his dad because he's gonna need it He's not really gonna grow up with him because I can't imagine
Starting point is 01:00:32 That he will live that much longer. No So where's that video where he's talking about how much fun he has with a kid Do we have that Zolo where he's like what he does with him? This little guy Treats him like a dachshund or something Do we have that Zolo where he's like what he does with him? This little guy Treats him like a doxen or something Yeah His connection with his one year old. That is the thing. He likes pudding. I like pudding. Maybe it's on the tik tok Yeah Yeah, it'll be there
Starting point is 01:00:58 so Yeah, I mean it is like I don't know if if he's 84, that means there's a good chance that, I don't know, when he's in kindergarten or first grade, his dad will be dead. And he'll be like, he was a really good actor. And I'll be like, oh, good.
Starting point is 01:01:17 I wish he would have gotten a vasectomy. Oh yeah, and so does De Niro's an old ass dad too. He's got that young girlfriend. There's a couple guys like that. See, that's the problem, Tom, with getting the young hot girlfriend. Listen to me, look at me. If I died before you, all right,
Starting point is 01:01:36 and that, how dare you? And hold on. If you bang some 29 year old, they all want the baby. There's no way some 29-year-old, they all want the baby. There's no way some woman in her 20s is not gonna want the baby. Okay, but I'd have to get a reverse snip. Yeah, you can do that. That's not hard to do. I don't wanna do that.
Starting point is 01:01:52 That's not hard to do. I don't wanna do that. I'm just warning you, these young chicks, they all want babies. That's the whole point. So what do you tell me? And then you gotta support them. You know what I'll tell them?
Starting point is 01:02:00 Be like, yeah, let's just keep trying. I don't know what's wrong with them. I'm not getting pregnant. I'm like, because we're not fucking enough. Tummy. That's great. And then you just keep doing that until she gets sick of you. It's that one. You get sick of her. Oh. There you go.
Starting point is 01:02:16 It's fun. Being a new dad is fun. It's the least fun is when you're a new dad. Well, he's not doing that much. Let's hear what he's not doing that much. Let's see what he's doing. You know what, this little person, everything he does is interesting to me. Yeah. So we talk, I play the harmonica with him.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Harmonica. And we have made this kind of contact. So it's fun. At 83, did you have any reservations about the age? Well, yeah, I'd want to be around for this child. Of course I did. But things happen. And I wanted to be, and I hope I am,
Starting point is 01:02:53 I hope I stay healthy. And he know who his dad is, of course. It's neat. It is neat, and it's a lot of fun. This little guy does that. And I'm like, look at all this stuff he's doing and stuff happens Tom He doesn't know how pregnancy happens 83 can I tell you the most annoying part for me personally is like that that the British tend to be a little more
Starting point is 01:03:18 Ruthless and their question I feel like you didn't you didn't think 83 was kind of old But that the media has to treat it like it's an awesome thing. Like if you look at, I think People Magazine covered the story and he's like, this is awesome. Like it's always from the, isn't this great? It's like, no, it's not great guys. I don't think it's so great.
Starting point is 01:03:36 He's like, I hope I live. You're not gonna, you're 84, dude. This is the end of the road, bro. Yeah, it's not gonna last much longer. It's not gonna last much longer. And also let's say it does last longer. Yeah, it's not a good good time No, you're not like if you're alive at 92 and you see him now you think it's gonna be like he's like I'm just like you're gonna be able to pick up your kid. You've seen old people with babies. They go. Yeah
Starting point is 01:04:07 people with babies they go yeah they can't even hold the cat let alone the baby do you think you think when they were you know how things happen yeah do you think stuff happens for sure she was like just go inside of course he was like yeah and then that was great yeah And then she was like, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, because she had to like climb on top of his carcass. And the cool thing now is that she knows he's gonna leave a fucking pretty cool trust. I know, it's so gross.
Starting point is 01:04:36 Cause you know she can't marry him, right? Cause he's got prenups to the gills. She knew she wasn't gonna get that pre, that marriage money. But now that the kid's there, it's going to be a good steady 18 years. But this is when the adult kids come in, they're like, Hey, let's talk about your plans for a second, man. Exactly how are you planning on divvying this shit up? Pops.
Starting point is 01:04:54 Yep. Well, you know, I got a baby. Hey. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. This bitch, well, she's going to get at least whatever monthly stipend. Yeah. Yeah. Child support. If you're like, right.
Starting point is 01:05:06 If the kids don't fuck her out. I don't have to work fun. Yeah. La la la. For 18 years. Yeah. And then what though? You dumbass.
Starting point is 01:05:14 All right. Dumbass. I got to pish real quick. Can I go? Hey, same. Let's go pee. Oh, pee-pee twins. And we peed.
Starting point is 01:05:20 My pee was so powerful. Did you smell like coffee? No. Really? No. Really? No, not really. Yours often do. If I have too much, it does. I don't think I overdid it today.
Starting point is 01:05:33 I've had a good bit of water. I had a double workout today already. I did. Double. Yeah, I did the bike and then I went to the gym and I lifted at the gym. You're crazy right now with the fitness jeans. I know. It's because I'm going to be nude that I'm, you know, you have like a panic set in. Are you allowed to say this?
Starting point is 01:05:52 I think I've talked about it, that it's coming up. Dude, I don't know. What I didn't realize until a meeting the other day is that I'm nude in four scenes now. Like I think they all were like, yeah this is pretty funny, just keep doing it. I'm like, okay. That's pretty scary. Yeah, and like I have a horrible flat ass, and they're like, yeah, show that, funny.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Yeah. I like the way that you were honest, you just went. Well both of us, I think full disclosure. It's not the same. You and I have both admitted to having flat asses. To each other, we both agreed. The tailor on the show, she was like, getting a costume ready, so she was like tracing.
Starting point is 01:06:40 She was doing this tracing thing, and she was like, you have very defined calves. And I was like, nice. I was like, everybody hear that? She was like this tracing thing and she was like, you have very defined calves. And I was like, nice. I was like, everybody hear that? She was like, very defined. And I was like, that's what's up. And then she goes up, does like the hamstrings. And then she goes, yeah, a lot of men have flat butts like you.
Starting point is 01:06:55 And I was like, hmm. Yeah, that is a Sigurra family trait, I will say. I feel like everyone. Flat ass family. Me too, though. Look, I got the tits, I didn't get the ass. That's for fucking sure. Oddly enough, Top Dog didn't have a flat ass. Maybe later in his later years. But he was a weightlifter.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Other side. Oh yeah, it's definitely her. Her side, yeah. God. No one has an ass. I don't have an ass either. Mine is so bad. No, mine sucks too.
Starting point is 01:07:24 No, mine's worse than yours. I've't have an ass either. Mine is so bad. No, mine sucks too. No, mine's worse than yours. And I've tried Pilates, I've tried the weight lifting. And also, yours isn't gonna be broadcast. Mine's gonna be broadcast. You chose to dipshit. I didn't kinda, I really didn't kind of. What do you mean you didn't?
Starting point is 01:07:36 It's your show. But I still was like, they're just, you know, you just don't wanna be the guy to like negate, they're just much better if you just show your ass. And I'm like, okay. Can you do like a stunt ass? Can you do a stand in? No, come on, that's for the weaklings.
Starting point is 01:07:51 Why don't you do what Tom Cruise does in the movies where they do like the lens, the glossy lens. Cause that's what they do on the Mission Impossible movies. They just, they treat the film. They treat the film. Yeah. So he looks much better. You could What about full frontal? What do I do there? Are you gonna? Yeah, holy shit for real. Yeah, you're gonna show your dog, dude
Starting point is 01:08:12 Yeah, I'm gonna fluff like everybody else does. Yeah, I know what you're doing. I Can't believe you're gonna give me give me like I'm gonna be like give me 30 seconds to smack it around I can't believe you're gonna give me give me like I'm gonna be like give me 30 seconds to smack it around Thanks, thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks You really showing your dick. Yeah, it's just way life goes. Here we go cool Isn't it crazy that I have a line at the house nothing bad will happen look at him look at his pants never in English They're laughing dude The lion yeah lioness
Starting point is 01:08:59 So fucking stupid that could have gone so I know I do love these talks though. I know Alright, I have been dying to show you this. So Frankie Valli, who is a beloved singer, Frankie Valli in the Four Seasons, this man has been performing for like 60 plus years, right? And this was like from, you know, Greece, the incredible John Travolta, what's her name? Olivia Newton John. Like that's Frankie Valli singing in some of the big songs.
Starting point is 01:09:30 And some of the big songs, yeah. Grease is the, you know, that's him. That's him? Yeah, now this is him. I think during the pandemic, he did what even we were doing in standup, which is like putting on an online concert for people that wanted so like check them out here Is that really him singing? That's him. That's okay. Yeah He can still sing, for sure. Yeah, that's him. That's okay. Yeah. He can still sing for sure. Yeah, that's good.
Starting point is 01:10:12 Oh wow. Yeah. Wow, I don't like his background singing. I mean, he's still really doing it here. I mean, he's still nailing it here. Yes. Now, he has to be 85 or 86 here, okay? In that video. It's 2020. It's a pandemic performance that like people could watch online So yeah, so that's four years ago. So he's probably 86 because he's 90 now
Starting point is 01:10:52 so He has been continuing to perform and people have noticed that it is not the same Oh, okay. It is not the same and Uh oh. Okay, it is not the same. Oh dear. And I have multiple examples. Oh. I see. Right? I see. No.
Starting point is 01:11:09 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. So what they're doing now is they're playing Oh no. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:11:31 So what they're doing now is they're playing the audio of the original track. Right. And then he's just supposed to lip sync. That by the way, what I just showed you is by far the best version of it. It's by far the best version of it. But the lip syncing, he's barely putting, he can't open his mouth at this point.
Starting point is 01:11:46 He's barely doing it. Why are they doing this to this man? Whom does he owe money to? Who is forcing him to do this? This doesn't seem like, this seems like, you know when somebody reaches a certain age and you go, you know what? You just don't have to do it anymore.
Starting point is 01:12:01 You've been performing for. Can I say something? I'm so stoked about cancer, because now I'm like, I'm done touring. I'm fucking done. Not for a while. I just meant, you can reach an age where you can go, I no longer perform. But babe, I don't think he's there.
Starting point is 01:12:14 I think- You think he's making this happen? He wants to do this shit. It's the same reason crazy ass Madonna is still doing it. But what if you put, if you bought your ticket oh my god you saw this I mean How old is his audience He's talking so that's his voice Poor guy
Starting point is 01:12:47 Okay practically dead. Poor guy. Oh no. Okay. It's not a good look though. He's actually singing here I think. He's singing, yeah. This is also, I hadn't seen this one. This one's okay. This one's alright. But he can barely move. He's comatose.
Starting point is 01:13:04 He also hasn't blinked once. No. And then it's been like three minutes. No. But he looks okay. That one's okay. So I apologize. That was actually a better one. Okay, here's Grease. Alright. He's not singing. No, he's not singing. He missed the cues there. Oh dear. Oh dear. You know those background guys have stories.
Starting point is 01:13:38 Can somebody please have one of these backgrounds? Reach out. Please. He's like, when I say Greece is the word, oh no, oh no. This is the way we believe. This is the way we believe. You can, you know. This is a life of illusion. Grab the control.
Starting point is 01:13:57 This is a life of illusion. What are we doing here? I think there's somebody else driving this. Possibly. I don't think it's him being like, I have to perform. You think he's got the wife like Ozzy Osbourne's wife? Ozzy is on his last leg. Well, here's the thing. Joan, what's her name?
Starting point is 01:14:13 Because he was so obviously highly proficient into his eighties, that means he was probably touring all the time. And that basically gives you a certain lifestyle. He's probably spending more, like most people would say, let's say they're performers, they would retire most, you know, with the exception of like a Tony Bennett. Most would be like, yeah, I'm done. I'm 70 something. And then you would, you kind of get into a certain, you get into a certain change in lifestyle.
Starting point is 01:14:48 But if you are into your 80s, still performing, it may be that like, they're just like living it up. And then when it's like, hey, it's time to retire, someone's like, no, don't do that. Cause you've got too many expenses. Yeah, and you're used to like earning a certain amount and spending a certain amount. But I will note the decline is significant from 86 to 90.
Starting point is 01:15:09 Yeah, but still. He was fine four years ago. But that's a normal thing to decline at 90. Here's the thing I'm learning though, Tom. Yeah. You're gonna be touring well into your 90s. Because mama likes this life. I'm staying home, I'm relaxing. I ain't working
Starting point is 01:15:26 You love being a comic you got to tell jokes until you're dead Hey guys, yeah Wipe come on the drapes might Bye I wrote your audience's older shit yeah they're telling their kids and they're like the fuck is this my son that flushed it down the toilet I'll play the audio of a Netflix special on the floor. I think you should. Okay, here's what's going on.
Starting point is 01:16:14 Frankie has told People magazine the accusations crack him up, reiterating on his own terms. Nobody has ever made me do anything I didn't want to do. Frankie's all about that Four Seasons magic, saying as long as the fans keep showing up, he's in it for the long haul. Promising to be like that bunny on TV that just keeps going and going and going. Oh, you mean the advertising ad
Starting point is 01:16:37 that hasn't aired in 35 years? No, I can't say that. For the Energizer bunny? That's awesome, that's a real current reference. Okay, chasing the music. But it's the ego. He can't say, I'm 90, I'm done. There's been a huge concern for Frankie.
Starting point is 01:16:56 Some videos showing him appearing to be lip syncing his own music on stage. Of course. And have fans commenting about how exhausted he looks. He hasn't blinked in any video. But he's made it clear he's not backing down. Full steam ahead with his tour running all the way through April of 25.
Starting point is 01:17:11 No, he's not gonna make it to April. No, he's one of those guys who's gonna die on tour. I know, but he's happy doing it. And you know what, if people are paying. He's gonna die. Of course he's gonna die. He's gonna die in the middle of a song and the song will keep playing.
Starting point is 01:17:23 He'll just go. Share. This is the word, it's the word. And then he's gonna die. He's gonna die in the middle of a song and the song will keep playing. He'll just go. And they'll be like. This is the word, it's the word. And then he'll be there. This is the word. Of course. But that's why I'm gonna pay to see every. But now don't you wanna go see him? A hundred percent. To watch him die on stage.
Starting point is 01:17:39 Bring up his tour schedule. Yeah, let's go. Guys, someone needs to go watch every single one until he dies on stage. Yeah, let's go. Guys, someone needs to go watch every single one until he dies on stage. Yeah, let's do it, guys. Indio, Temecula, oh, he's doing the casinos. Those are big money gigs. Yeah. Oh, he's doing,
Starting point is 01:17:54 he's doing a good run. Lot of casinos, that's good. That's where the oldies go. Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons. Let's go see him in Texas. Is he coming to Texas? I've done some of these places. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 01:18:05 Doesn't look like it. He's not traveling too much. No, he's going everywhere. How's he getting on planes and shit? Arizona's pretty close. Ha ha ha. November 10th, that's the day after, guess where I'm at, November 9th.
Starting point is 01:18:18 Where? Phoenix. Okay. Oh. Wouldn't mind spending an extra night. Ha ha ha. Share. Oh, look at mind spending an extra night. Sherry. Oh, look at him, he looks good there.
Starting point is 01:18:30 Because, don't cry. We just boosted his ticket sales. You know people are gonna go just to see if he dies during the singing Sherry baby. It's the eyes that freaked me out the most. Yeah, the eyes were like... Yeah, he can't even smile. So something's cooking. Oh, poor guy. Oh, shit. That was bad. You want to see something sadder? I will, I see your Frankie Valli and I will one up you a Phil Collins.
Starting point is 01:19:07 You seen what that guy's up to? He's in the office chair. Yeah, they put him in an office chair. This guy, by the way, is so, if you don't know, this man is so exceptionally talented. Of course. No, it is outrageous. This guy's songwriting ability, instrument, his voice,
Starting point is 01:19:26 that's him in an office chair doing a show. They wheel him out. He's like at Madison Square Garden, they're like, sit in this chair, we got it from the back. It's one of the accountant's chairs here. Look at that. Yeah. Guys, at least give him like a king's throne.
Starting point is 01:19:39 Yeah. Make it part of the show, give him a better seat. Something happened with his spine, right? I think he has, what is his health issue? Life is terrible. I think it's back related. Suffering, the amount of suffering. Oh yeah, he used to fucking just crush it
Starting point is 01:19:53 on the drums, of course. Yeah. You know how many hits this guy had? Okay, look, spinal injury. Oh no. Upper neck vertebrae, which damaged nerves and affected his hands. He's unable to play the drums, has performed while sitting in a chair using a cane.
Starting point is 01:20:07 Foot drop, hit that, show more. Developed foot drop after back surgery which refers to orthopedic shoes. Diabetic abscess. Oh my God. Oh my God. Acute pancreatitis. Alcohol, well.
Starting point is 01:20:20 That's why, that's why he's got all the other shit going on, the alcoholism. Su-su-sudio. He's unbelievable, that's why he's got all the other shit going on, the alcoholism. Su-su-su-su-du-rio. He's unbelievable. How many heads did he have? Oh, it's really crazy. Like this guy's. Genesis. I know, this is bad.
Starting point is 01:20:34 I hate when I see them in the office chair though. I know, it's so disrespectful. It's like from Staples. Literally. They were like, you just go grab a writing chair. And if he's got spinal stuff, maybe get him a chair that's good for him to sit for a long time.
Starting point is 01:20:47 It should be a throne, like you're saying. Yeah, like make it theatrical. Yeah, like part of the- Put him out in a throne, cause he's like the king. Yeah. And don't make him hold, you know, make the mic stand, come to him. Like, why aren't they?
Starting point is 01:21:00 Suh, suh, suh, suh, suh, suh. That's crazy. She seems to have an invisible touch. So depressing. Well, you know, this is just what they do. This is what Madonna's doing and it's appalling that she is still trying to be hot and sexy and do the same thing she was doing. She's so jacked up and it's more and more embarrassing
Starting point is 01:21:22 every year. Unless you can maintain it, like Mick Jagger, for some reason, why does Mick Jagger pull this off? Is it because he's physically and his singing voice is still, ay, yay, yay, look at this face. Well here's the thing about, it's kind of unfair to women, which is like the standard for a woman and her face is very different for men. Like as you start to age, everybody goes, fuck's up with your face, do something, right? And then men, we can just like get wrinkled
Starting point is 01:21:55 and just age like you. And everybody goes, that's fine, you look great. Like they just let it go. So like the standards are different, but then how you react to that standard is where. That's the key. That's really it. Because there have been female stars over the years
Starting point is 01:22:09 that have crushed it, like Cher, she still looks I think fairly amazing. Tina Turner was great, she passed away unfortunately, but Tina Turner was crushing it at 72, and she looked amazing. Look, Cher still looks like fucking Cher. Yeah, I mean she's obviously had. 77th. Yeah, but when she was touring and still looks like fucking Cher. Yeah, I mean, she's obviously had. 77th.
Starting point is 01:22:25 Yeah, but when she was touring and doing her shtick. Yeah. Look at her boyfriend, she's got a youngin' right there. She likes the young ones. She and Madonna both like young, hot black dudes. That's what they're into. It's so funny. I don't know what that, what that,
Starting point is 01:22:39 do black guys like older white ladies any? Is that what it is? Because she's saying because like Cher and Madonna and some other well-known They are you think that's like are these guys actually attracted to them you think uh I mean I think we like money I think we're big fans of that. That's that's all I could say I'm not sure I mean yeah I'll fuck with Cher you know I'm saying would you Would you get with a 77-year-old woman? Mm, I mean, yeah, but like how long,
Starting point is 01:23:09 you know what I'm saying? You had to have the baby with her. Would you go down on her? Shit. No problem. Oh, wow. Shit. Wow.
Starting point is 01:23:17 Look, is Cher perfect? No, but when she was touring, she was doing the turn back time, that shit on the boat, remember that? If I could turn back time. Her body was still good when she was touring. She's 78 actually. Yeah, and she stopped doing it, right?
Starting point is 01:23:31 She's not fucking Frankie Valiing us to death. Exactly, it's where you pull the plug at a certain point. Tina Turner as well, she wasn't doing it. Gene Hackman. He looks like shit right now too, of course son of a bitch. Did you see the top of it? Of course, but I hate that people are saying that. He's just an older guy. What's going on?
Starting point is 01:23:48 Why do you have any black people on your show? Oh shit, Jesus Christ. You know what I'm saying? This is an honest question. Why don't you have more African Americans on your show? You know how you guys are. No, no, no, you make an excuse. I'm not making an excuse.
Starting point is 01:24:01 You know why? You know who you sound like? Who? Your good friend, Bert Schist Christkirk. Yes, yes. You sound like him. I'm not making an excuse. You know why? You know what you sound like? Who? Your good friend, Bert Schist Kreisker. Yes, yes. You sound like him. Man, I resent that. Let me tell you why this is unfair.
Starting point is 01:24:09 Somebody's probably gonna get fired from your team and I do apologize. It's probably the black guy who's in there. Yeah. It's only one black guy here. I know. All right? I always feel like one's enough, but go ahead.
Starting point is 01:24:16 No, this is what you do. Okay. This is what you do to me. Tell me. Whenever there's an issue. Yes. In the streets. Yes.
Starting point is 01:24:24 Or with black people people you call me like Ghostbusters is like you're the representative of the you guys are any other black friends Brian I have others other black people like Brian Simpson another one Brian Simpson that's true there's two Brian's David Lucas David Lucas Manny Fresh David
Starting point is 01:24:42 Lucas don't count many fresh he's up the Joe Rogan family so he's like that borderline white guy. He's a borderline white guy. He does racist jokes and double down on his... DJ Premier. He's worse than Tony Hinchcliffe. DJ Premier. Okay, that's a good one.
Starting point is 01:24:55 He's a good one. Too short. But you don't ask him questions like, so why do black people like Pepsi Cola so much? First of all. Second of all. Second of all, that was a great question and you gave a great answer so it was it was like it was perfect I didn't cut around the answer you did a voiceover and somebody just said watermelon right now that is absolutely offensive I'm not playing games sure you know I'm not trying to be like you're not that I can't look up to a white person
Starting point is 01:25:28 But you know, I'm trying to get like passive income through it. I'm through this Sure. Sure, you know, I started new pockets called a Donnell Rollins show. Oh, it's called the what? The Donnell Rollins show Donnell Rollins like after your name Okay Donnell Rawlings. Like after your name. Okay. After my name. Yeah, yeah. Yes. And you don't call me to say, hey, Donnell. Hey, Donnell. That's not, you never, you don't call me for that.
Starting point is 01:25:49 But it is. But something, you know what? If I had, if I knew it, I'd be like, oh, this is a cool new black thing. I'm going to call you up and I would have called you and be like. So, okay, let's be clear. You call me for cool new black things. Or questions about black things. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:57 Well, can we, first of all, your, his beard is very similar to yours. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. I think he is. and I would have called you and be like. So okay, let's be clear. You call me for cool new black things. Or questions about black things, yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:06 Well, can we, first of all, his beard is very similar to yours. I think he is cropping you. Secondly. Copy. I mean, look at my beard. See, the white woman is down with this whole theory. Yo, she just stole,
Starting point is 01:26:17 said the black man stole the fucking hairstyle. Who's that on his shirt, by the way? On his shirt? Yeah. That's Muhammad Ali. Who's that? The greatest. Muhammad way? On his shirt? That's Muhammad Ali. The greatest. Muhammad Ali is the greatest. Black man, sports figure of all time. Never heard of him.
Starting point is 01:26:32 I know people who used to listen. I know they'd watch you walk off. I know you was... I know they was counting down. I know these motherfuckers like to dance along. When is he fighting next? You know what my therapist told me is that Donnell is gonna be very challenging but stay focused if that's what I'm gonna do Stay focused stay focused
Starting point is 01:26:54 First of all, can I congratulate you on the Donnell Rawlings show? I didn't know that I'm very excited for you. I Know I'm gonna keep I'm gonna keep going with this. I first of all, I remember you put a member I remember meeting you in at this UCLA show. This is in like 2005 or six. And I came I couldn't believe you were there because you were on the Chappelle show. And I was I was asking you all the questions about writing and performing, and I was really nerding out on how funny you are on the show.
Starting point is 01:27:30 And we call it a hood, when we say you was on my dick. And it's not a homophobic stuff, it was on my dick. Say that, go ahead. Okay, no ditty, no ditty, I was on your dick. And then I was like, oh, let me see your dick, and you're like, it's not like that. No, you won't see my dick, I'm a fucking white boy shit. No, dude.
Starting point is 01:27:44 Y'all play too many dick games. Man, I was like, just let me see it. We don't do that shit, man. All right. I just, I'm trying to like navigate how to do it. So, and then we've done, first of all, you helped me out when I was doing that show in Cancun and I, and you, and you came and you killed it on that. And then we've done shows together when, when and Dave have done their their co-shows we've done those and we have a great time and I always have fun with you and I think you're very
Starting point is 01:28:09 very funny. I don't give a fuck about fun when we gonna make some money man. Well I mean aren't you gonna I thought you were booked to do the podcast aren't you coming on the podcast? Oh let me tell you about that podcast. What? That started off it's the black guy behind this camera looks just like me right? I see him. Yeah, and she came in This is so fucking racist that race who came in Lauren is her name, right? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I'm doing a podcast and she came in and I'm not trying to say we all look alike, right? Yeah She walked right past me. Yeah, it's hip. Thanks for being on the show as she Larry to this black Before oh, yeah, well, she probably looked like, I mean. Get security and shit. I mean, like, you know. Don't say that, Ola.
Starting point is 01:28:48 Yeah, your security sucks. I mean. Yo, they worse than Donald Trump's security right now. Man, look at. Shot your ear off. Look at his necklace. Shot your ear off. He looks like a star.
Starting point is 01:28:56 I would buy it. Yeah, but the more, and again, I am so sorry I crashed it. And in a way, I'm happy I crashed it, because America needs to know. America does need to know. America needs to know that you need to know America needs to know That you have a black friend that you call on in desperate situations. You know you call me George Floyd, too What did I say just like what can I do?
Starting point is 01:29:14 and Yeah, I remember yeah Yeah, I was like anything anything to help Yeah, you said what can I do for your people? What can I do? anything. Anything to help. That's what the fuck you said. Yeah. You said, what can I do for your people? What can I do? I would love to know. You know what you can do?
Starting point is 01:29:29 What's that? You can continue to do what you haven't been doing and be better. You can be better. Be better. And continue to use the platform higher. Raise black voices. Raise black voices.
Starting point is 01:29:42 Continue to support the NBA. I love the nba why the f**k i had to be it's a 90 black league yes they do there's like six um i just feel like it's the nba is your guys league and i feel like uh the all-star weekend is definitely black thanksgiving it's a fun f**king weekend that's true It's really a good time. Black Thanksgiving is much tastier than White Thanksgiving. Don't you like Black Thanksgiving? I don't see color in Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 01:30:10 And the reason why I did it to me, white chicks, they really put color into Thanksgiving. Oh! Really? There's a white chick there. You want a Thanksgiving? Oh, you're a good black guy to ask. Yeah. I know, wait a minute, don't get excited about that.
Starting point is 01:30:20 That's so exciting. All right, so Madonna and Cher. She's been ran through as the streets were... But Madonna and Cher have both been, their thing is both young, good-looking black guys. So do young, any, like is it a thing, do you find these women attractive? Do young black, are they just into...
Starting point is 01:30:37 Are they into older white ladies? Are they into older white ladies? Look at this guy, he's fucking 50 years younger. Yeah, some of them are into opportunities. Wow. Okay, that was what Eni said. He said, we like money. If you're going to toss the dick around, it's good to have some benefits from it.
Starting point is 01:30:58 That's so true. I don't see anything wrong with that. But I'm not asking Asians to even excite Madonna, but I understand on both sides. She gets what she wants, and then they get what they want. Now I know you've been close with Puff a long time. Do you feel like he is gonna get out of this shit, or what's gonna happen there? Cause I remember you were always like,
Starting point is 01:31:16 hold on, my man Puff's on the phone, and then you would take calls. Get him off the floor, D, you need to be strong about this. Be strong. Have you been to Rikers yet to say hello? Have you stopped by? What I'll say is this. As much as me being black and I understand
Starting point is 01:31:32 how the white men always try to come down on us and like just fuck with us, cause there's- It's fun, I get it. There's been people that, Caucasians, Yes. That have done worse. And the black community, our biggest issue
Starting point is 01:31:47 with John Puffy Combs was a thousand bottles of baby oil. And that's a lot of separation because you cannot explain that to the black community. Yes. That's the hardest thing to do. The dildos in the oil. He's not my boy. He's not your boy.
Starting point is 01:32:00 Okay, so how'd you feel when your boy got shot in the ear? Wow. My guy? My guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah you feel when your boy got shot in the ear? Wow. My guy? My guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's him. I mean, I was fucking. That's your boy. I took a deep breath, I was like,
Starting point is 01:32:12 ah, and then I was like, he's okay. I was like, yeah, I was like, he's okay. I was so scared for a second. I was like, they didn't, they didn't get him. We lit candles and everything. And it, yeah, it was. A vigil. I would have to say this, Tom, when I came here, I didn't know you were actually gonna be everything. Yeah. A vigil. I will have to say this, Tom.
Starting point is 01:32:25 When I came here, I didn't know you were actually going to be here. Yeah. And I saw you in the monitors, and I was like, oh, that's the fucking eagle so much. You did a? No, I thought you had just a loop of you. Oh, oh, Jesus. No. Oh, my god.
Starting point is 01:32:39 But I do like that you did a very black thing, which is just walk in. You know what I mean? That was like, life is my place No, that voice was the worst. Hey, man Okay, yeah, okay like seriously Like figuratively like contextually like metaphorically. Hey, you watch this shit man. Hey roll the camera watch this shit man Wow, what I yo time like yeah, that's it Hey, roll the camera, watch this shit, man. Pow!
Starting point is 01:33:02 Ayo, ta! Like, yeah, that's it. Officer! And I'm telling you, true to who I am, and I've been coined as the interrupter. I like those sunglasses. I like those glasses. Thank you, they make me feel good.
Starting point is 01:33:15 I will tell you this. Yeah. We just joked around, but I do appreciate you. I appreciate you too, man. Because you know, this is some real shit. There's a thing going around, like when I perform, I bring heat to the stage Yeah, yes
Starting point is 01:33:27 A lot of people be quite honest a lot of people won't fuck them. You know how this comedy game is. Yeah, sometimes People will not share their platform with you if there's any case that you could fucking just go crazy Yeah, and I'm telling you when you said yo, do you gonna be in Cancun Do you mind doing my show I was excited about that, but I didn't know in the contract There was like you had to have a certain amount of black people to perform on your show. That's right Yeah, so I don't know if it was for you to get the check or it was for you respected me as a standard I First of all, I couldn't believe there was a black person in Mexico. I didn't know you guys go there and then And then I
Starting point is 01:34:08 Do actually very much admire I've seen you on on these shows and there's this thing where it's a real skill set like I knew You could obviously you can do whatever as a comic but there is always something I think we everybody just stand up respects it Not no I was gonna say just eat a bullet. Meaning like go out first to a cold crowd. And get them going. It is a skill set. Not everybody can do it. And so I was actually very grateful that you would do it.
Starting point is 01:34:35 Oh, so you mean you gave me the shitty part of the show. There was no other part of the show. What are you talking about? Yeah, you're right about that. That was just that. Just true to what you said. True to what you said. It was like that.
Starting point is 01:34:43 It was weird. It was weird as shit. It was a weird route. But I know what, you know, it's to what you said. True to what you said. It was like that. It was weird. It was weird as shit. It was a weird route. But I know what, you know, it's so funny you said take the bullet cause I knew I had a certain amount of time, right? Yeah. And at the end of the day,
Starting point is 01:34:52 I knew I had to set it up for you. Yeah. And also the reference- When I finish, I know it's your shit. I just think the reference to bullets is something you'd probably be familiar with. Keep going. Ooh. What, dude?
Starting point is 01:35:00 I thought- Ooh. Ooh. I thought that was just like a way- It don't matter what I do for this motherfucker. I mean- Oh, wow. I thought that was just like a way. It don't matter what I do for this motherfucker. I mean, oh wow. I thought that's like how. Anyway, back to me, given the fuck about your show,
Starting point is 01:35:12 I say, you know what? You got a certain amount of time. You're gonna eat 10 minutes of that time just getting these people to order. And with that, I knew what the job was. I got on stage, I mess with the audience. So it was only like 10 minutes of real time before I got it, but I got it for you. You did,. You did. I think I figured one of your boys one time too.
Starting point is 01:35:28 You did? Joe Rogan. I was with Dave, I don't know if it was Canada or wherever we was, it was supposed to be Tony hit Tony, Joe Rogan did me and Dave right and it was one of those amphitheaters and it was daytime that That's how we normally roll, right? So the thing was Joe Rogan and Dave Spill they are stars of the show Yeah If you give them the best time to perform, that's what you have to do it sure So I was supposed to perform at a certain time and I was ready because I knew we was gonna get the show at the nighttime There's a good the top right and then Jeff from live nation. He came up to me, you know, he walks like a penguin, right? Yeah Jeff from Live Nation, he came up to me. You know how he walks like a penguin, right?
Starting point is 01:36:04 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's very good. Right, he was like this. Donnie, listen, I said, motherfucker, I already know. You wanna switch line up, right? You wanna switch, I could've been a bitch and be like, no, ain't no bit for Dave. But I already knew, I knew Joe wanted the room
Starting point is 01:36:21 at the best part. So this is one of the better sets I've had in my career. I had to switch my spot, suck up my ego, and take that audience from daytime to nighttime for when the sun is setting. And when I did it, it was like, it got dark, and next thing you know, motherfucking Joe Rugger came out there, Joe Rung came out there
Starting point is 01:36:41 and ate the room up. Yeah, I mean, that is a gracious thing of you to do. It really is. And I mean, I'll tell you this, no, you're very, very capable, you're very talented. The other thing I'll say, and I mean this in the gayest way possible, no, listen, you smell really nice today.
Starting point is 01:36:57 I know I smell nice, did I tell you these white boys are gonna love this smell, son? You smell good, bro. Stop quash your fucking pocket-ass shit. I know. We love you, Don-El. We love you, Don-El. We love you, Don-El.
Starting point is 01:37:07 I mean it in a gay way, I love you. What a nice drop-in. That was really unexpected and a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. No, that was great. That was great. That was amazing. He's a sweetheart.
Starting point is 01:37:20 Okay. Yes, my love. I have to wrap up. Cause I have to go to the other studio studio, the production office, the P.O. studio. And next time we'll do my tic tocs because I do. I miss doing those next time. Thank you to everybody for listening, watching. Thank you to Donal Rollings for giving us the latest in black news. And we will see you guys next week. Bye bye. I'm walking through your mind's high with my shoes on Graduated from lovey to dyno Cop me a Schwinn, now I'm riding Tricdo I keep a word about a friend with Hattie and Bunny
Starting point is 01:38:08 Hopping like a motherfucker round the city Motherfuckers ain't fazed me Gonna need a 10-speed just to chase me Cause I'm a 24-7 freak, daniac Buck a shit in your mouth, how you feel about that? Hey Hitler! I know you're coming back with Lance Armstrong's nut in a Jimmy hat Put some respect on my name
Starting point is 01:38:24 Young Patreon! Riding nut in a Jimmy hat Put some respect on my name, young Patreon Rotten bikes and a day job, they stop tryna pass me I make you marry a fuck cause I'm gas I'm like Steven Seagal with the karate shot Making motherfuckin' bodies dry What you know about pecs, oh, you need a ride, ho I'ma buy a Polly, not by their regatta Don't call me, he better call me they
Starting point is 01:38:42 Jenda B.S. Trill, I'm outta space Never seen a fella peddle so fast Ever since Grandpa Melissa, your retarded ass My spokes chrome My bars chrome My rings chrome You know that we own My pedals nice
Starting point is 01:38:58 I'm wearing ice I'm throwing dice You feel me, you know I'm talkin' bout I'm sayin' BICE! Now dice You feel me, you know what I'm talking about, I'm saying BICE! Now everywhere I go, the people wanna know Lincoln is helpful Yeah How you ride a bike with your jeans so tight, y'all
Starting point is 01:39:11 I can feel the rashes, but they ain't be fucking dead I tell them, listen up, I'll give you a tip If you pull them up hard, that'll do the trick Are you feeling this shit? Gentlemen, my asshole, tighter than it's ever been Tryna fuck with me, my ain't throat's into the killer I'm riding it high while I'm popping the willa Next stop, brown talk
Starting point is 01:39:28 Gotta pull the bike over just to pop a squad Make brown, feel it dripping down Top dog, pretty patty to the bathroom now Drop them jaws, bout to get it on Boom pow, surprise, it's a cherry bomb Hit it with the blasters, splash, splash, splash He just painted the bowl and all that Bert Chrysler, so damn fat
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