Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Ari Matti Is An International Problem | Your Mom's House Ep. 853

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ . Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. Afterwards, the price will increase so get it now! SPONSORS: For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. Tom Segura holds it down solo on this episode of Your Mom’s House while Christina is away, and he’s joined by comedian Ari Matti for one wildly funny conversation. Ari breaks down his insane journey from Estonia to Melbourne, London, New York, and Austin, explains how he learned to do stand-up in a second language, and talks about going from open mics overseas to getting passed at The Comedy Mothership and becoming a Kill Tony regular. Along the way, Tom and Ari get into Ari’s background in MMA, the delusional confidence it takes to survive comedy, and why being an outsider ended up becoming his biggest advantage. Then things go fully off the rails with stories about foreign chiropractors, Estonian blackface on national TV, Robert Paul Champagne, Alex Jones, Liver King at the Four Seasons, catastrophic injury clips, and one of the most disgusting travel-hookup stories ever told on the show. It’s a classic YMH mix of comedy, chaos, culture shock, internet lunatics, and deeply questionable sexual honesty. Your Mom’s House Ep. 853 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:02 - Comedy In Non-Native Tongue 00:11:20 - America & MMA Fighting 00:19:17 - Opening Clip: I'll Eat It 00:23:33 - Foreign Chiropractors 00:28:48 - Big Word Burger 00:32:34 - Clip: Alex Jones Calling It Quits 00:34:13 - Liver King & Rogan 00:37:42 - Big Break & YMH Memories 00:41:30 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:48:27 - Brain Injuries 00:58:19 - What's Happening With The Internet? 01:00:35 - Kinky Unc 01:04:13 - Plugging Dates 01:05:44 - Fat Boy For Life 01:08:37 - Closing Song - "WHAAAT" by Tyler Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. These are good cameras. Hell yeah, dude. These are like good cameras, dude. Look at those triceps. Oh, shit. That's all natural? You see a horn missing a, you see a fucking horse missing a shoe.

It's right here, dude. All right, welcome. Welcome to an episode of your mom's house. Christina's out on a girl's trip. That sounds fun. Where? She went out west, I think, to crochet and whitewater rat, whatever chicks do. I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. I'm jealous, but this is good to be here, man. Yeah, fuck, yeah. I love it. You stay up late when no one's home, you know? Thank God. I don't have any rules. I just stay up late.

But you've got kids, though. I know. So I tell them, I'm like, all, we're all going to bed. And then I don't. And you stay hang out at the east wing of the house. Yeah, then I just stay up. Yeah. Dude, I'm so excited.

I mean, I've obviously run into you at the club a bunch of times. but never got to spend that much time with you. I think, first of all, I have to tell you, I think, Persev always thought it's remarkable that somebody does stand up in not their native tongue in another country. I think it's really crazy. I really think it's crazy.

I remember, I'll tell you, I remember this, like, this would have been, Jesus Christ, it's like 15, 16 years ago. I was writing on a pilot for Comedy Central when they were a thing. and Kumail Nanjani was one of the other writers and I was like, wait, so like, you grew up in Pakistan? And he was like, yeah, and I'm like, and you do stand-up here? Yeah.

It's like, yeah, I'm like, how? Did he also do stand-up in Pakistan? I don't think so. No, he started. It's a bit different. He started here. It's a bit different then because you have one point of perspective, the outsider perspective. I guess, yeah, you're right.

But what I'm saying is like I get, you know, So, A, you have to learn the language. You have to master a second language. But also, you have to kind of start to really understand culturally who you're talking to, right? And who, like, how you're coming off us. Yes. You know, they always say, in therapy, that's like a common thing.

They say, like, if you're really in a rut in your life, you should learn a new language because you discover, because you can kind of become a new person. Interesting. You know, it's like when you move to a new place, Remember when you were a kid and you were like switch schools? Sure. All the facts that all the other guys knew about you.

It's all gone. It's a new slate. But then it starts to slip. It slips at it. And you're like, oh, you do suck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I do suck. Yeah.

But, like, I see, I have a perspective in that I've done full shows in Spanish. Yeah, you do Spanish. But I realize, though, it's not the same as, like, what you've done. Because I grew up in, first of all, in a house where they were speaking Spanish. and I have cultural insight. So when I perform, even though they're like, you're not 100% us, they get, they're like, oh yeah, you get what we are.

You know, like you're partially us. The lucky thing about Estonia is such a tiny country. It's that Estonian is its own language, but we're super influenced by Western media. That's what I keep hearing by everyone. Super influenced. It's like I grew up on. I grew up in Shepal.

Really? Yeah, South Bar. Yeah. So it's like, it's like, like Americans like to use the term, you know, bilingual. Yeah, yeah.

Like it's an achievement. In Estonia, we just say not retarded. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you speak only Estonian in Estonia, you're going nowhere. You're going nowhere. Because you got to speak Russian

or Finnish or English. Do you speak all those? I speak a little Russian. I mean, Russian is like Spanish in Texas. If you want to get shit done, you have to know it. It's like, yeah. How close are Estonian in Russian?

I mean, different alphabet, totally different. like Finnish-Hungarian more. Okay. And so you speak Finnish as well? Finnish as well. Yeah, I'm half-finish. Oh, okay. Yeah. That seems like a very, like... Oh, it's all fucked up. When I do, when I do European tours, I always do that thing, because I've always liked languages where I'll be like, you know, I want to, I like to be a good guest and be like, hey, how do I say, please? How do I say thank you? You know, little things, right? And then you just try to say it. And you can tell that people are like, oh, that's very nice of you to as a guest. Oh, dude, when Estonian, when you see,

When an American says something in Estonian, they just... They're just... They're rock hard. They love it. I was in Copenhagen. And I was like, how do I say whatever? And the lady was like, don't worry about it. And I go, well, I mean, I want to try.

And she was like, you really don't have to. And then I go, I mean, could you just tell me? And then she goes, okay. And then she says... Cook a flea flak of broken. And I go like this. And she was like, you just stick to English. And I'd go like, okay.

That's so funny. I was like, don't even worry about it here. I don't feel like, Finnish and Estonian would probably be the same, right? It would be like, don't even try. Don't even, yeah. Well, how do you say, like, please in Estonian? Paloon.

That's not too hard. Paloon is not. Paloon? Yeah. That's reasonable. That's not too bad. Thank you. Aita.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we got those. A-E-E-E-U. We got those in there. And but you did stand up in Estonia. Well, interestingly enough, there wasn't like, Like, that was one of you, like we talked about before the show,

I used to do a little bit of mixed martial arts. And I, I did some- Fucking bananas. Getting kicked in the head. Dude, getting kicked in the head. Because you're a big dude. So I'm getting kicked by big dudes. By big, they're like, I need to practice on a big guy.

I could take a woman. Yeah, I can kick, and I've kicked women in the head. It feels, it feels like something. It's a relief. I get it. It feels like. This is what I've, yeah. Yeah, this is.

Everything that I've... It feels very correct. Yeah. Yeah. To kick a woman in the head. It makes total sense. Baa! Yeah.

Dude, it feels amazing. Have you fought women in the ring? Oh, yeah. Sparring, dude. And they always go, go, you know, because it's disrespectful to be like a pussy. Yeah. They take it as a sign of disrespect.

I could see that. So I'll kick the shit out of you. Yeah. Buh! And then they're like, A, easy, bro. Yeah, but I won't. But then, yeah.

So anyway, I was like traveling. I did some backpacking. And then I moved to Melbourne, Australia, which inherently has a great comedy scene, which I was unaware of at the time. But is this after you started, you started doing Santa or no? I tried it in a start.

I didn't know what it is. So I watched Eddie Murphy. I watch Dave Chappelle. I'm like, I guess I got to be black, you know? Because I never saw a white guy do it. Right. Then I remember I saw Louis C.K. do it. And I was like, oh, fat.

slob of shit can do. Because when you watch black... Yeah. Because when you watch a black guy do stand up, it seems like... I think that it's like cool. And it looks like it's like pouring out of them. But Louis Cicca is kind of like... He presents it.

He also kind of presents it in a way that he's like making it up. But not really. It's still a present. There's a callbacks. There's all this shit. I mean, Eddie just sings and dances. Yeah, yes. It's like a package.

I don't got that. Yeah, yeah. So then I saw, okay. Okay, Ginger Slob or shit, does it? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Yeah. So then I just, dude, I printed out flyers and I did a, I did three shows of an hour without ever touching a microphone. Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is, that's for your first time?

Yeah, because I didn't even, I thought you just go. I thought you just go. First crowd was letting me like 60 people on my friends and I had like, you know, a panic attack, nervous breakdown. Of course. Because I'm never even talked to them. Like, even the way it sounded. It was so insane. So by the third show, there was maybe 12 people left.

And then in the third show, I remember halfway, about 20 minutes, and I go, you know, let's just go home. Because nothing's happening. Yeah, I don't have a narrative. I'm just saying stuff. Yeah. But it looks so easy. Right.

So then I abandoned that idea, kind of. So then I moved to Melbourne. They have a comics lounge there. They got workshops, open mics. I started listening to podcasts. You were on Roken, I remember. Because Roken commented on the U.S. That's how I even found out about this.

He has a podcast. I was like, oh, the commentator has a podcast. And I remember you, Joey Diaz, Bill Burr, and you started talking about sets. I was like, a set. Really? Opener, closer. Yeah.

And then it starts like, then I start realizing, oh, it's like a whole practice thing. You can't just charisma your way out of it. Right. You know, so then I started doing, yeah, open mics in English. That's when I kind of started. I toured around Asia a little bit.

bit for like two years, you know, featuring, doing stuff like that. Fucking A, dude. Really? Then I moved back to Estonia where the time I was away, local scenes had started. Then I go to Estonia. I go to an open mic. Because it's such a new art form that, you know, the floodgates are open after the Soviet Union collapsed. The culturally, how Estonia started like developing was so rapid, rap and raves and Western media and stand up. It's all like, ramping up. So open mics would have like four or five hundred people.

What? Yeah, yeah. And are people performing in both Estonian and English? Only Estonian. Actually, there was a couple of English guys there too, but I would say the local guys were mostly Estonian. But you come back with like tons of confidence, I bet, right? Yeah, but I did it in English, which if we speak the same language and I put on a different

language, now there's a filter. Yeah, yeah. Between us and it's kind of bullshit. So then I started doing it in Estonian and within maybe like two or three years I moved to theaters because it was like there's nobody there doing American style stand-up. Local guys were still storytellers and all that.

But I just had the reps. I had the reps. Because in Estonia the open mic would happen every two weeks. I did 20 sets in Melbourne. Wow. So I had that mindset of like, and those Estonians because they started there, they were also, they knew sets and all.

They already were educated much more than I was. but they're still kind of like flubbering around of what is this they're very indulgent in stage time because you could do 20 minutes there's only fucking four guys you could 20 minutes but I'm hitting like punch lines

after punch lines like American style yeah so then I did that but I still I felt like I need something more and it was kind of you lack in space it's like being stuck in a small town

doing stand up yeah who are you following you know who are you So it started being a circle jerk with the other guys. I love them. They're my best friends. But still, we needed something new. So then I moved to Canada, Vancouver.

I moved to London. I did a stint in New York just to expand myself a little bit. Wow. And that was during the, it was about five years ago when I started realizing that I always felt like, when I looked at American stand-up, I was always like, man, I wish I was American. I wish I could fit in.

I wish I could be one of the guys. If you watch like Bill Burr, he's such an American man. All the references to sports. I remember I listened to your album, Thrill. Great album. Yeah, thanks. Great fucking album. It's a killer.

But it's so American. You talk about black people. You talk about the culture. So I always felt left out. But about five years ago, it kind of clicked for me that I realized I actually might have an advantage because I am an outsider. So then I started pressing more, I started less trying to fit in

and more trying to be like, what's my thing? Yeah. How do I look at America? And it took you all that to kind of figure that out. For sure, yeah. So when you, after those stints, Vancouver, New York, is that, was the next stop, Austin after all that?

Well, then, no, then I was kind of in a rut and went back to Estonia for another two years. I just ran out of like, what do I, I don't know if you know what's happening out there right now in comedy. If you're at open mics, no one, nothing's happening. Really? You know, nothing's really. There's no ladders, you know.

Of course, there's now the mothership. There's the comedy store, which you did. You know, there was a, just industry around. But you know how it is. There's a lot of people in fucking Seattle who are murderers, but you just don't get that opportunity. And you just got to move. You got to, and I was looking for my spot.

I just couldn't find it. I was also a little offensive, so sometimes I'd get in trouble with local scenes. Yeah, but the big thing, like the big thing is that when you are in those places where you're like it's not happening it's the people who take action right that's like the big like when i look back on like where i started and like those group of guys a lot of times we sit around like people that i started with and you go like remember so and so and so and so and so and so and you're like the guy was so funny so fun it was so funny

and that the thing is they just at one point we're like well i guess that's it you know i mean they didn't go like i got to find the next thing and the reason other people did succeed is because they were like, well, I'm either moving or you know what, I'm gonna, oh, is that the person I need to talk to to get the thing? I'm gonna go talk to them.

For sure. Like, those people who take action, ultimately you have to have some combination of the two. Welcome to the end, everybody. It's a storytelling show, me and my comedian friends, we're all telling true and really terrible stories. Into a toddler face.

Wild face sometime. Pugrequette. Regretful. Every STD. Horrible. I'm gonna. Fuck you up. And amazing stories.

We just got started. I'm going to stop the terrace. You're in trouble. That's reality, huh? It's going to be a good night. It's going to kill us all. I'm about to be fucking. You should be in jail.

Hey man, are you okay? I actually do well. You don't fucking talk to me. Okay? I'm the disciple of the Lord. I did this spot. How did I get here? How did this happen?

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based on studies of topical and oral monocidil and fanasteride. I think I always had a little bit of delusion in me too. That helps. That's with MMA and all of it. That helps. Yeah. You have to have the right degree of it.

Right degree of it, yeah. Too much is not good, but none is actually not helpful either. And bitterness is like a big thing. Fuck that motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Wait, when you were doing this MMA shit, which is so insane.

And you're getting throttled by these, like, massive, whatever, crazy fighters. You must have racked up some serious concussions, too, right? I never was clean out. Never clean out. But I definitely had headaches falling asleep. Like your bell rung. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a crazy thing to do, man. But an interesting thing, very similar to in stand-up or whatever you do in life, it's like I was very, like, I was very driven, but I always looked for the shortcut. That was my thing. Like with MMA, I was always, I knew I was in trouble when I was in the middle of class. I remember my teacher was talking about arm bar defense, and I'm like daydreaming about my entrance song.

I'm thinking of the accolades. Right. Not of the actual work. You meet a lot of people in stand-up, too. They want to be the famed, they want to be the cool guy who got it, the bitches, you know. Yeah, that's not the thing. But they're not actually thinking about the emotion behind the set

that they're doing that night. they're thinking about the accolades. That was me in MMA. Whereas in comedy, I love the work. I love sets. I love jokes. So I can focus on that. But in MMA, I was like, man, I just want to get these bitches.

I just want to get bitches. I mean, that's the per-like, you summarized it perfectly. You got to be obsessed with the work to get success in something. Absolutely. So I was looking for like short-bush. But interesting how confidence sometimes works is when I kind of started letting go of that dream, you know, you start meeting like fighters who are like living in their car, they're like seven and four, and the brain is starting to get mushy, mush. Yeah. You know,

you're like, I see like the CT setting in, you know, I would meet people like that in Thailand, especially. They're like on their last legs. So they're doing all these like Thai fights, you know, they're like somewhere in a bar. You get a $500, you know, you live in the gym. Oh my God. And that's a life I couldn't do. No. So that's, I realized, that's a bridge. I can. I cannot cross, you know. Whereas in comedy, dude, if I was still in hostels, if I get a feature spot, I'm in. If I get to riff 20 minutes, you know.

Yeah. I'm in, and I realized in MMA, that's a bridge that I'm not willing to cross. And then interestingly, how confidence sometimes works is when I let go of the dream, I got actually pretty good. Like the last year when I was already dabbling in comedy, but also I went down to spar still

because I still loved the sport. that's when I remember my coach was like, now you should start because I already had those losses and it was all fucked. He said, now you should start because something clicked in your head. That's so interesting. You let go of expectations

and you focus on just doing it. Yeah. You weren't in your head as much about it either, right? Absolutely. Oh, absolutely. I started getting high. Yeah, high is good. I was loose.

I wasn't worried about what's the new day bringing. I was just enjoying the moment. Yeah. And it really taught me a lesson of like sometimes, yeah, if you become present and enjoy the work of what you're doing, then you can really like succeed, you know. Yeah, that's amazing. That's amazing, dude. I forgot to play our opening clip. We always play an opening clip, so I'll play it for you here, and then we'll go into it.

You do not eat ass. No, eat no way. Why? She'd become that ugly. I'll eat it. That's right. Don't bring anyone mud into this. Your mom where the fuck is there?

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. And Christina Pajit Zich. Ghost trip. Welcome to your life. Ghost trip with the host. Ghost trip with the host. There it is.

He was thinking out of a Bucky's car. Of course he eats ass. He's like, well, he did. You'd ask? 100%. Yeah. My tongue needs to go in your asshole at all times. Just to establish what type of things this will be.

This is going to be, yeah, this is the relationship. When I was in, I was backpacking in Cambodia. I had a sweet American angel. She was a filthy whore. And she was like a hippie. It was like my first hippie girlfriend. Yeah. She stole.

You know, she didn't give a fuck. She didn't steal from a corner store. She stole like from whole foods. She's like, fuck the system. She's got disability, but she didn't really have a disability, but that was the fraud. Sure. She was a back.

She's a criminal. Filth. Yeah. Filthy fucking American girl from like San Diego, fuck the government. Fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. I remember I was like, I was like, we were like fucked up at the hostel, you know,

fucking on a bunk bed when there's a guy. Underneath. Yeah. Along for the ride. Mm-hmm. You know. And I'm like banging on. I'm eating her ass.

And I'm like fingering her ass. fucking ass and fucking finger and going pussy to ass, which later, you know, we found out that's not a good combination. Yeah. And so I remember she like shot all over my hand, like two little pebbles. Mm-hmm.

It looked like nisk squeak. Yeah. And then she put him under the pillow, kept banging. That's cool. I don't go, fucking. Yeah. It is what it is.

Yeah. But you also definitely want to establish I am this type of guy. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. I mean, yeah. Lifeful.

I don't think I've tasted. Maybe I probably tasted shit. But not known. But it's a girl shit. It's different. It's beautiful. And also it's like the taste and the smell are different, you know? Yeah.

Oh, the smell is, yeah. You know, the smell lets you know something's there. Something's, there's an issue here. I remember even when I found those pebbles, we could both smell it. And we had a moment where we looked at each other. And then I just kept going. And I remember she was like, I guess this is that sort of dude.

I guess this is that sort of dude. Did that love end in Cambodia? No, no, no. We went to Australia. that we can rock it. Oh, yeah, we can rock and this is my sweet angel. Yeah, and then fade it out there. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. You have a girlfriend now? No. No, single out there on the road. Ari Maddie.com for tickets. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Luckily, or unluckily, it's all men in the audience. Yeah. All men. All men. My whole career, man. It's always dudes. All dudes. Do you ever see a Matt Rice show there?

Yeah, it's, I know. So I know. And you can do the same joke three times in a row. Women just love it. I went to a venue the week after him. And the guy at the venue was like, you know what's crazy? I go, what? He goes, I forgot we had men in this city.

And I go, what are he talking about? He goes, Matt was here last week. He goes, it was like 85% women. He goes, I didn't know we had hot women here. Yeah, he was like, it was unbelievable. Crazy. Yeah, really crazy. Shout out to Matt Rice.

Shout out to Matt Rice. Bring out the bitches. Is Estonian, like, so I've been obsessed with like these foreign chiropractors because like we have our own standards here in the U.S., right? If you live here, you're like, that's the way things are done. And then you realize other parts of the world are doing shit like this. Like this guy's getting his ankle adjusted? I don't know what kind of medieval contraption that is.

But look at this guy's face when he does this, the guy on the bed. Also that phone number? He sits up, he's like, I mean, that's, he's scared. He's like, you just fucking did something to me. Damn. Would that be in Estonia? You know what I mean? Nah, this is some Middle Eastern shit.

Yeah. Big-ass fan in the back, too. Holy shit. Industrial fan. Yeah, he's a big fan. People are sweating their ass off. Nah, I've never had a chiropractor. Never.

Actually, one time I did have like some back adjustment or something. And I had like infection in my back or like inflammation. After it? No, I had like inflammation. And I go to a doctor that my friend said, he's like a cool doctor. Carripactors always have those diplomas on the wall. And you read them, it's like one week course in Latvia. I know.

Dude, I went to a chiropractor in L.A. who was highly recommended. And they were like, this guys, he's great. And I go there, and I mean, I made the appointment. I wanna be there. He's like, a lot of people talk shit about chiropractors, and he's like, it's fucking bullshit. And this is like before we start.

And I'm like, yeah, no, I mean, like, I made an appointment. He's like, yeah, I mean, I'm a, I fucking did this much school. I did all this shit. People make their jokes. And he's like, I'm a fucking real deal. And I go, yeah, I mean, I know.

I want you to do this. And the whole time, he was like, telling me how qualified he is. And sometimes if you go to a chiropractor, they will like smooth out an area before they adjust it. I guess, yeah, warm it up, maybe. Yeah, he's like, he has like some cream and he's like putting it on.

I was like, I made a comment. I was like, oh yeah, I go, this massage feel great. And he stops. He goes, I'm not giving you a fucking massage. And I go, Jesus. Just whatever you're doing feels good. Yeah. He's like, yeah, I'm prepping it to make the adjustment.

I'm like, hey man, you're the most aggressive motherfucker. I've ever met. Damn. But he was great. I mean, he was great. It worked? Yeah, but like they, a lot of them feel like,

because people, chiropractors will get the title doctor, right? And so people are like, yeah, but you're not an MD. Yeah, I get that. They get, they get sensitive about it. Yeah, I get that.

And also, does it really work? I don't know. Yeah, me neither. I don't know. I know that I felt better that day. I mean, this guy hurt the shit on my back and then I, when I was leaving, he was talking me about my sexual life.

He was like, yeah, he was like, he was like, He was like, you eat ass. He was like, yeah, a little bit. He was like an overall, like, holistic Cairo guy. Yeah, yeah. Because I remember he kept, like, squeezing. I'm like, on my back, he's certainly.

He kept squeezing, like, squeezing, like, apart near my scrotum. He was like, squeezing. He goes, lots of tension. I go, am I getting harder? Like, yeah, he goes, lots of tension. Sexual energy, pent up. You need to figure it out. You need to figure it out.

Damn. I was like, are we going to figure it out here together? I'm like, yeah, this is a different type of doctor. This is like, this is a third. World Backage. She doesn't look better, by the way. Never. He's like, yep, I'm gonna get us from us.

Wow. She does look compressed. She looks like she's in the wrong resolution. Yes, she does. You know when a TV is like 16 and 9? Yeah. It's a 4 and 3. I don't know that she's gonna walk out of there being like that was worth it.

Have you seen a video where there's a guy with like a crr and it like the machine. Yes. Yes. And then they lower them down and they're like, yeah, those. I love those. I watched those for hours.

I watched for those hours. Yeah. Yeah. Because you realize these are just like made up contraptions. Totally made up. That ankle fucking thing?

Yeah. There's no way. Like a doctor would be like that's a good idea. I saw that one video of a guy being in like a barber shop and he gets like you know sometimes barbers

will also do like a little neck thing and the guy gets paralyzed. He like snaps the neck and the guy's on the check. In the video, In the idiot? Yeah, because he goes, oh, ah. And then, and then like an article comes up.

He got paralyzed. Holy fuck. Yeah, he had like a, it's like, there's some sort of a vein that you have here that, like, can get hit by a ligament or something. And if you snap it, it, like, cuts it off and you're done. Dude, if I got a haircut and I come back paralyzed, I'm pissed. I'm pissed. And you know, like, the settlement's going to be like four grand.

Oh, yeah. That's the best part about these chiroperic is in America. Listen, if I hurt you, this is bad. In Bakalakashan or whatever the fuck this is up with those diplomas, dude. Yeah. Yeah. That office ain't even there tomorrow. No, he'll be like, yeah, sorry, I'll give you a free one.

Yeah. Yeah, it's over. It's fucking over, dude. Yeah. When Westchap first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion. Inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s,

One thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. There's a burger place. Have you seen this burger place in Argentina? It's all over social media. I'm here at what people say is Argentina's best burger. The burger has been quiet.

Let's give it a taste test. Time to put this big black, juicy burger in my mouth. Oh, that is succulent. That is good. That is black. Who's the chef, though? I mean, I feel like people are like, do they know what they're doing? Of course they know what they're doing.

Of course they know what they're doing. Of course they know what they're doing. They're getting people to go like, I want to go to big burgers. I want to get big burgers. Yeah. This is... You know, Estonia does blackface and all that still. They do?

We still rock a bag. That's fucking awesome. And a crazy black face too. Really? I get at shows and everything? Oh yeah, live television, national television. A lot, no way. Because we have that thing like,

where you're like, what's a TV show where you impersonate like famous singers? Do you have like one of those? When you impersonate famous singers? I'm trying to think if that's a thing. I don't know. So in Estonia there's this show and it's like, it's like James Brown.

Oh, and someone will be like, I'm gonna do the... Even the background singers of blackface, we go hard. Wow. Yeah. See if you can find that. That sounds really fun. Yeah, just go Estonia blackface and Babush will come up.

Holy shit. Oh, yeah, yeah. And we see, well, okay. Go Estonian TV show. Holy shit. This is, yeah. This is like old. Looks like that one right there probably is from it, right?

Yeah, that's exactly that show. Yeah, look at it, look at him. Madis Atoe. Yeah, yeah, he loves it. Wow. Yeah, soon as I go go to talk, that's the TV show. Because no one there is like, they're like, yeah, this is just, this is great. It looks like the guy now.

Yeah. It's like spot on. Yeah. They're like, what are you talking about? Yeah, we have a... If he didn't put it on, he wouldn't look like James Brown. Yeah, exactly. It's like, that doesn't make no sense. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. That is great. That's the guy. That's so funny. He's going to be so pissed that I did this.

He's going to be so pissed. Yeah, it looks just like James Brown. You know what I do love? They did the black face, but not like the weight or nothing. They're like, no, no, no. Just the face. They're like, doing your fat soup. No, no, no, no. We just need the face.

Just the face. And real black. Yeah. Not like spray tan. Like black is coal. Yeah. That's unbelievable. Yeah.

We don't give all that. Wow, that is really, yeah, that's something else, man. Yeah, it's not like a thing, you know. And that would that be like airing today even? Oh, this was like last year. We love it. And we have three black people. We have three.

Really? Yeah, we have three. Are any in comedy? they should be they should be we got one guy he's from Aruba he moved there in the 90s to Estonia

and then took part of our you know Eurovision you know that's our thing yeah yeah yeah Eurovision yeah so he represented Estonia and the Eurovision won the damn thing he won it oh yeah because he's black dude he's like this motherfuckers can't do shit yeah yeah yeah yeah he killed it Eurovision is massive massive we love it

we need it we want it do you look forward to it every year I don't, but... Have you gone to it? Like, you actually gone... Nah, dude. They hosted it in a different place every year? Who wins?

That's who gets to host. In their home country? Yeah, yeah. So they went to a Sonya? You know, it's funny? You know, like two years ago, they gave it to Ukraine all of it. Because it's like a political thing.

Oh, my God. But then even Ukraine was like, you know, maybe we do it in Baku or something. Yeah, let's move it. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see a local guy, but speaking of people we know,

Alex Jones announced that he's, like the show was shutting down. Did you see it? He's show? I think so, yeah. This is what it says here. We're getting shut down. We beat so many attacks.

But finally, we're shutting down like the middle of next month. Wow. It's going to be insane what happens. People can go. Yeah. So this is that. The fake championships, the fake auctions,

all of it. It happens right now. So what are you going to do? You're launching a new thing or what are you doing? Yeah, Alex was that. We're going to be fine. All right. Well, are you leaving? Is that why you're saying all this?

Yeah. Okay. I am exhaustive. What do you know, Alex? Fifty-two. Bless you, sir. You don't want it? He's got water.

You good? You're right? I'm tired. Yeah, no, we're winning, Joe. winning. Well, so there'll be a new thing maybe. Wow. Is he like drunk or probably? I don't know. Probably. Probably. Like does he talk like that normal? I mean, he talks kind of like that normal. Kind of like that. But I love that he said. I'm tired. And then he goes, we're winning. Okay. Sure, man. Yeah. There's a, there'll be a new. Doesn't he live in Austin? He did. I don't know if he

still does. I've never seen him in town or anything. But yeah, people have said that he. He lives here. Damn. Yeah. It's been a roller coaster for that guy. For 100%, yeah. Texas is like the place where a lot of lunatics move, you know? Yeah.

Yeah, I saw the Liver King at downtown one time. I saw him. When he was looking for Big Man, where he was looking for Joe Daddy. Fucking Hey, man. You know, like he put, did you see any of those videos? Yeah.

You know he was like putting, bro, he was after four seasons in Austin for like two weeks. Saying there? Yeah, yeah. Apparently there was like a report of the cleaner after it was like shit. everywhere and shit, you know, because he does like crazy

whatever, like N.M. McCaffees and all that. Oh my God. And those videos of him like doing like starting a fire on the balcony of four seasons. Yeah, yeah, he had like his own like sticks and shit and he would like dance around the fire on Instagram Live.

As a four seasons customer if I'm on the next balcony with my wife, this is my special weekend and my wife. And I look over the balcony and I see the wood. And I see the wolf hat and I see this guy around. Get him.

Yeah, no. You got to go. He stayed there for the whole time. It's refund time for sure. Yeah, you got to pick him on the balcony. You got to go. And they didn't kick him out. That's what.

I remember when this guy was like, I'm all natty. And you're like, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Fucking A, man. Yeah, it's like crazy. Yeah, he was making those videos like, I want to find you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I want to fight Joe Roe.

And yeah. What the hell, dude? So he was arrested. Oh, at the force? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, and he posted the whole thing, like on video. So was the arrest for the threat?

Yeah. Really? But the threats were weird. He was like, I'm going to consume you. I'm going to make love to you. I'm going to kiss you. We're going to become one man. It's so weird.

I've told him this before, but it's so weird to know Joe as long as I've known him. and like I just knew him as another comedian and go on the road and do shows and that he's like this global media figure it's so strange it's not even global media figure he can decide

what has happening to Iran that's fucking crazy that's what I mean like the amount of influence the guy has and then he's just like you know hey man you want to try this this coffee I just got and you're like yeah it's fucking weird though I know it's crazy yeah yeah he's got the Navy Shields

got security. Yeah, it's crazy. It's very strange. But he doesn't stress at all. I think he has a really good perspective on things. Really? Yeah, it's surprising. People don't know, like, what we see and how the guy navigates it all,

but he's just always just pretty fucking even keeled about stuff. Because I remember when that guy got, who was that guy who got shot in the fucking neck? Oh, Charlie, Charlie Kirk, yeah. That day, I go to the mothership, Joe's back there riffing, and I'm like, Joe, you got to hide. I know. I know. They're coming. Yeah, he doesn't care. He's like, ah.

And he says, and I kind of believe, he's like, I don't read anything. Yeah, yeah. I don't see what people say. I'm like, it's probably best. Yeah, it's crazy. Probably best. As a podcaster to reach that height. That's nuts. Yeah.

And then the people that come on that pot, you're like, who's on this fucking presidents? And you know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's such a strange world. It's like, yeah, yeah, let's do the 2 o'clock one at 12. I got Prime Minister of India. Yeah. and we're going to solve the energy crisis. Unbelievable.

It's got to be weird, right, that you've found your way here and that this is like what you navigate now. Yeah, for sure. It is weird, yeah. Wait, so was here after Melbourne? No, this was like when I went back to Estonia. Then I did a stint in London. I couldn't get no fucking traction.

And then my good friend, Sam, Talent. Yeah. Yeah, good buddy of mine. He came to Estonia to do some gigs. That's how we met. And he was like, just come to Austin, check it out. They came here for like two weeks and then I auditioned for Adam. I got a mother ship.

You know, you do the audition. I got passed. I was like, this is the only thing I got going on for me. And then next week I did kill Tony and then Tony off at the regular ship. And then they just went from there. Yeah, it was awesome. Thank, inshallah. How's the road been treating you?

Oh my God. Club is so much fun. It's fun. Holy shit. It's fun. Yeah, it's great. I love being on the road. That's amazing.

I love it, yeah. It's so funny, dude. Yeah. And you know, what your mom? mom's house I remember when I was like I was like drinking stolen coffee the way I used to steal coffee is this from because of the hippie girl she kind of taught me yeah she taught me the ropes mm-hmm she kept telling me no one's gonna run mm-hmm like if you steal some no one's gonna run after you you know it's amazing so I go to 7-11 and you put the there's a in

in Melbourne, they had a $1 coffee, right? But you put three of those motherfuckers in the slurpy cup with ice. You make it really nice. For one dollar, you get, pa, pa, blah, bah. Yeah. And then you just walk out.

And they look at you, of course, the cash you knows what you're doing. I've been there for 45 minutes. Yeah. So I remember I was drinking one of those coffees, and I listened to your mom's house, like sporadically, but I remember it was that episode

where Robert the Champagne. Robert Paul Champagne, yes. You finally got in contact with him. Yes, dude. And I remember that episode, for me, I realized in my head what podcasting is going to do now. Because although Joe was already big and politics was getting involved and like big stuff was happening in politics. Like money was coming into podcasts. Yeah.

That connection that you found this insane lunatic somewhere in New York. Yeah. And you made a whole thing about it. Yeah. That marked like a new era of podcasting for me. I was like, oh, now that's what's possible. That's fascinating. Because that's, I think, in our lure of this show, I mean, that's got to be...

The Hall of Fame. Yeah, for sure. Because there's no, like, no network. Like, before podcasting, that would have never happened. Never. Never. Yeah. 12 meetings in a row where you try to tell about this guy who keeps wanting to get black men to suck him off. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And get beaten up by and you're like, we're going to fly him out. Yeah. We're going to talk to him. I'm going to explore this world. Yeah. And it's been a. a crazy relationship. Yeah, yeah. And now you have so

many big figures, of course, who are in the show. Yeah, crazy people. Yeah, that's our specialty. I love it. Is finding lunatics. Damn. But he was the most, he was our golden goose. I would say for sure, yeah. Like I remember, in the

park, drinking my stolen coffee and listening and when he picked up the phone, I remember I was like, oh my God, this is a new era. I know. This is a new era. I felt like that was a surreal thing. It's funny because I forget about that. But when I think about it, I was like,

I don't think I haven't had that level of excitement, you know. It was like Mark Merron Obama, Robert Paul Champagne, are two of the biggest things to happen in the podcast. That's so true. Yeah. The two total opposites, the sitting president and Robert Paul Champagne. Who would love the sitting president. Yeah.

Yeah. He would have been like huge Obama family. Beat me, beat me. Yes. Beat me, piss on me. Yes. I have a couple of these that we always watch which is you get to watch them

and you tell me whether it's horrible or hilarious you decide it's like somebody like getting hurt I mean it could be I haven't seen them so I don't know what we're going to watch they pull them and then you decide oh dear okay

there's a guy walking out of a stadium he just yelled at people oh oh Oh, he's both knees. Both knees. Those ACL, MCL, it's all torn. It's blown up.

Yeah, he's never walking again. Holy shit. And it's the fury with which he's walking that led to that, you know? Like if he were casually, he was so angry, I feel like, because look at when they buckle here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, both full extension. Bab boom. Fuck.

That's where you got a stretch. You know what always blows my mind when I see these like altercations in America? Yeah. And there's like someone's freaking out. The rest of the people who don't move is insane. You think it's different? I don't know, maybe it's just my thing.

I have an acute sense of, like whenever I walk into a bar or whatever, you know who has no idea of that? Women have no one. Every video of World Star, there's a woman like in the middle of that. Yeah, yeah. Just getting knocked the fuck out. I have an acute, as soon as I walk into a bar, acute sense. Scanning the room and everything.

Yeah, this guy, I can see it. Potential threat. I can see the guy. You know when you see this guy and he doesn't have friends? Oh, here we go. You just got to know where he's at. Yeah. And there's like a lady in front of him, like just sitting there like, oh, I hope nothing.

I know. I'm getting away as soon as possible. Oh, for sure. Yeah. We, you're right. That is a male thing. You have to develop a sense for like, this is a problem. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I also love that the lady recording goes, immediately she sees this, she goes, somebody help him. Somebody, please help him. So her first thing is just like, Oh, somebody's helping. Oh, somebody help.

Also, he fucked up. Like, if he was a nice guy and that happens. People would be running over. Now you're kind of on your own. It's the worst scenario. He got loud, was like, fuck you and fuck you, and then both of his knees go out.

And there is something funny about being like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, click, please. Please, help me. Someone, yeah. Yeah, he's done, dude. That guy is fucking done. Okay, here's another one.

Oh, that's... Propane tanks are good to sit next to. Did. Whenever you see dirt and propane tanks? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. This poor old guy... Oh!

That was just a rogue bull. I was so expecting a propane tank to explore. For sure. That's like very indie or some shit. It's like a propane tank and then a bull. I just want to... want to sit and enjoy the afternoon. Hey, that's a Dalai Lama.

Holy shit. Yeah. Man. Really, by the way, guys, great choice on the music. Did you guys do that? The music? That's crazy. That's a rough day.

I feel bad for the old guy, though. Nah. No? I don't want you to feel bad for me if that happens. Another good music choice, a guy walking on the end of a barge. Oh, my. fucking God.

Oh, did he get his head? Oh, no, he got on the. Oh, my. Okay, funny. He escaped. It was funny. It was close.

Close calls are always funny. That's funny. Fuck. There's like a cultural thing happening here. It also feels like whoever's driving that boat is like, fuck this guy. Because that's like, it doesn't feel like that accidental.

Damn. Full on, too. Full on, bro. Like, Look how close this is. I mean, that would have been just a collapsed skull completely. Yeah, complete. Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah. What's the gnarliest shit you saw in your fight, injury-wise? Injury-wise? Like you ever see something just devastating? I've seen the dibu effect. Oh, you have. Snap, you know, this goes half and it just hangs off the, like you see the, it just hangs. I've seen those.

I've seen two of those. I was at the, um. Conormann? Conormon? I was at the Connerman. Oh, the Connor one. I was at Connor and I went and then I saw it because I was so close. I saw it before the the crowd reaction you know like I saw it and I was like and then like it was

like beat beat like people see it was gnarly man. But in uh I would see norliest thing outside of MMA I've seen like accidents. I remember one time when I was living in Thailand I was like driving around my scooter you know that's how you drive around and they drive around too you know they have like a family of seven on one school. That's another thing, by the way, if you're experiencing new things, like, have you ever done like bungee jumping? Uh-uh.

You know, people who always go to Thailand and they do like bungee jumping. Yeah. I always want to tell those people like their restaurants are on scooters. Yeah. How far you think the checking the bungee rope department? Not a lot of regulations here. Yeah, exactly. So there's a lot of shit I wouldn't do.

And I remember in Thailand, I used. even started getting oblivious because, you know, they don't have traffic lights, they don't do nothing, they just go. There's no left, right, you just go. And remember thinking like, oh, this is like a beautiful thing that, I started thinking like, why do we even need traffic lights? Look at this, this is like a beautiful.

And then like five minutes later, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, I go, I see a truck pulled over. I see baby shoes, blood, baby shoes, blood. Family of five exploded, heads. There was like a hand, like in the bush. and then like a guy and then like a guy in the middle of the road like some I don't know if it was an officer

or some guy, some parking lot guy and he's like sweeping the blood and the body parts with his shoe, we gotta go. We gotta go. So then I go home and I Google yeah, number one place in the world where like people die in accidents is Thailand and India.

Of course every day all day. And it's just like everyone explodes. Keep going. Keep going. And it was like, yeah, baby shoes and like body parts and a tiny arm in the bush and then the scooter under the truck

and then the trucks Trevor's literally fucking secret. Like, all right, let's watch this next clip. Oh, this is going to be not. Yeah, I'm dead. That's out. Yeah.

I like when someone goes, yo. It's not too bad. Nah, I ain't too bad. Yeah. He got fucked up, dude. I would say, brain injury always the scariest. Scariest.

I'd rather lose my legs. Yeah. Than a brain injury? Yeah. Yeah, 100%. Is the crazy? Because you know on Instagram, you scroll, you'll just see like, oh, here's a confrontation on the street.

And it's always the crack to the cement that makes you go like, oh, my fucking guy. I knew a guy back in my day when I used to do mixed martial arts. He was a sweet guy. He was like from hillbilly Estonia, spoke one language. So he's like a nice, sweet hillbilly guy. He never go to clubs and nothing. And then I, me and the guys were always like,

You gotta do something. You gotta let loose. And then I didn't see him for a few months and I asked our mutual friend, I go, have you seen him? And he's like, oh yeah, he went to a nightclub. First time ever in a nightclub. Bitches, bitches, bitches.

And he's smoking cigarettes. He's doing shots. And he's a big guy. He's doing shots, smoking cigarettes. First time getting all the stimulus. Remember the first time you would be in a nightclub and you see tits and shit and you're drunk and you know, wow, this is the world.

Wow! And he's in the cigarette. in the red room talking to a girl, the girl's boyfriend shows up. You want to go outside? And because men only fight when there's women around. That's the rule.

You know, whenever you see men fight, it's because there's bitches around. The bitches is what they're fighting. So he's like amped up. He's like, sure, let's go outside. He goes, let's go outside. So they go outside. The guy throws a punch and he hits him.

him. Sim. My friend. Kits the other guy? Yeah. But out of panic, he's not a bad, he's a hillbilly,

nice, sweety, patooty. He's not a bad guy, but he was drunk, probably stimulus, the bitches. It was a bad environment. So he hit kicks the guy

and the guy hits the head on the payment, six years. He died, yeah, he died, the guy died. He died, he's manslaughter.

He killed the guy. Yeah, it's manslaughter. Yeah, it's six years. Fuck. Yeah, yeah. So he's like, I'm never going out again. I don't know.

He's probably out now, but I don't know, he's probably somewhere stroking a fucking dog not in civilization. And that was like his one time he went out. One time in the city. One time under the city lights. And then have you ever known anybody

who's got a traumatic brain injury and they're different? Yes. Scares the living shit out. Yeah. I had a friend who jumped off like of bitches around, bitches around.

So he had to jump off a bridge into a water because there's bitches around. If it was all guys, we'd be like, hey, we don't know what's under the water. Yeah. So he jumps off the bridge and he of course if you're on a bridge, right? Yeah. You will think the deepest part is in the middle. That's how puddles and stuff works. Is it not? So he goes to the middle. But sometimes if it's an active river with boats, they put a separator,

a pavement, you know, so the boats don't cross. So the middle part has this thing and it's like so deep. So he jumps off the bridge, blah, bah hits his head. And I didn't see. And I didn't see. I see him for a few years and I saw him at like, I saw him before going on stage one time. I see him outside. He's got like a little plastic bag. You know when you got a plastic bag with one thing in it? Yeah.

You wanna be like, hey, there's a pocket. But you don't know about the pocket. So he's got the little thing and I go, hey, but I heard that something happened, you know. Hey, and it's like a dog looking at you. Yeah. Like that? I go on stage a bomb because, you know, I'm like...

It's in your head, yeah. That scares the living. I'd rather see you, like, no arms, no legs. Yeah, than the brain. I can still riff. Yeah, yeah. The plastic bag's always to tell, too. I had a comedy promoter one time.

This is obviously in the early days. And this guy's like, you want to do a gig? And I go, yeah, he's like, all right, go to this. He's going to go pick up this guy. I go pick him up. He's like, yeah. So the guy just like, is like, yeah, go to Melrose and, like, Wilcox just pull over on the side of the road. I'm like, all right.

And then I just see this guy. He's wearing shorts and, you know, like an old shirt. He's got a plastic bag. And I'm like, are you? He's like, yeah. He's like, you're going to drive to the gig. And I go, okay. Whole way to the gig is telling me how the gig works.

I'm like, I know how the fucking gig works. He's like, I want you to go up there. You say this. You say this. you say the next show's coming up. He goes, when I give you the light, you need to extend your finger to acknowledge that you saw the light.

I don't want you to head nod. You have to extend, like, he's, he has all these weird rules. Because he's off. And then I do the gig. How do you pay in chocolate coins? I mean, I was expecting it. He gave me the money, and then he goes, how much did you spend on gas to go to the gig and back?

Because it was like out of town. And I go, I mean, I didn't fucking calculate. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, I just drove to the gig and back. He's like, I think I'll give you $10 for the gas. And I go, okay. He gives me 10 bucks. And then I go, all right, where do you mean to drop you off?

He goes, just over there on the side of the road. I go, I can pull up to your place. And he goes, just pull over to the side of the road. I go, okay. And I go, hey, what's in the bag? And he's like, what? I go, you got a fucking plastic bag. What's in the bag?

He goes, don't worry about it. I go, okay. That's just a little plastic bag. That was his little plastic bag, which had God knows what in it. And then he was like, I guess I can throw you some gigs in the future, maybe. But you've got to clean it up. You've been cursing too much up there. And he knows about curses.

Yeah. But he doesn't know about pockets. And he didn't let me go to his address. Like he wouldn't let me. So funny. So there's like a fucking. Yeah. He wanted to keep it a secret.

There's like a system. Mm-hmm. It's like a system. Spooky guy. Damn. Spooky. Yeah. And he's probably still there.

I'm sure he's still. He was, this was like in 2009. And he was like, he looked like he was about, like in his 60s. Yeah. You know, and I feel like he's probably still running these rooms. Damn, but he's a little plastic bag. His little bag in his shorts and his sandals

and being like, point when you see the light. Damn. Okay, man. Damn. Spooky. I used to go to summer camp. And there was this, uh, all my friends would be like, hey. You know, we have sauna night every Friday.

at summer camp, we have sauna night. Sona night. Yeah, we do mixed, you know. Yeah. Estonians and cock balls, pussy, everything out, you know. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, we don't like do that whole,

oh my God. Cover up thing? Oh, yeah. And then how old are you? I'm like a kid. I'm like maybe 14 or something. And everyone's dick and balls are out? Dude, I would be like 12

and my mom's friends would be like bush out in the sauna and I would lie that, you know, in the sauna there's levels. Yeah, sure, sure. Up is more hotter. And I would lie that I'm too hot. then I would sit right in front of the pussy

of my mom's friends. Like the legs are here and I look behind. Like I'm like I can feel that. I can almost feel the heat of the pussy on the back of my neck. And you're like 12, so you don't actually know that I want to like pound this puss. But the secret of life is definitely here

and I want to be here as long as possible. Yeah, so I saw all kinds and shit. So we're at the summer ago, Friday. It's like, well, Sona night. And I didn't go because I went to the sauna at the gym. But the guys are like, no, you really, you really got to come. There's this crazy chick.

She's like fingering at the sauna. You can fuck her in the mouth and all that. But these are like, this is like countryside summer camp where the city kids and the country kids collide. And the country kids are telling me, you can fuck this girl in her mouth. You know, she's like fingering and you can do whatever you want. She's like an animal. She's at the sauna.

We all take turns, you know. And I'm like, oh, well, I'll check it out. So I go there and in the wardrobe, I see she's full on mentally retarded. Oh, my God. Yeah. She's, yeah. Blah, blah, blab. They're just putting ice cream on their cock.

I don't know how they're making her do it, but giving her a little lollipop with the gum in the middle. You know, they're like, so the wardrobe, you know, I'm like, I'm good. You know? Yeah. And then later, you know, she's kind of like, do you guys notice that she's a little... She didn't have the face, but she would, all over. Yeah. And they're like, she's an animal.

I know. She don't even know what cock is, you know. She don't know what her pussy's for. So I tell them, you know, they go, yeah, yeah, she's fun, you know, that she's always been like that. They didn't even know that... That was a thing. Yeah, that was a thing. They just thought she's a fun girl that just wants to get...

banged out she's like this is a lot of attention i get a lot of attention i get a lot of attention yeah holy fuck so you passed on it though i passed on it good for you man yeah yeah yeah i was like a good man yeah yeah maybe she'll run for president i'm ready to run for president 28 as a moderate democrat he looks like a door guy from the mothership and we need to make america more retarded again oh so he's like cracking jokes It's 28. Yeah. He has the self-awareness.

But not enough to point the camera in the middle. You know how the camera's like teetering off? And what are you looking at? Maybe his script? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. See, this is what I've always thought about

what's happening with the internet. You know how like there's rules what you can do in public space? You can't be no jacking off anymore. Right. But for sure, there had to. to be a time where everyone is doing crazy shit in public spaces until our culture and civilization evolved to a point where we go, hey, put the cock away where the kids are.

Yeah. So then that was accepted. With the internet, I think something's coming at some point where we got to be like, this shouldn't be public. Right. You know. This should be a private thing. Yeah.

Yeah. I agree. Because something's coming. Because this is getting like crazy. Well, we're overstimulated now with this kind of. shit. It's just, it's, remember like when you discovered like porn is on the internet and then you're like, oh, there's like a site you can go to. And then all of a sudden it's like, now there's 18.7 million videos. It's all porn. And then it's just, it's like it's over, it's overdone. And then

like craziness is now, it's overdone. Yeah. There's too much of it. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Like, at a certain point, I think I'm very jealous now of the people. people who are like, oh yeah, I don't have, I don't have social media. I don't have accounts. I don't see what you're talking about. To be honest, if you're outside, if you're not a whore, if you're a whore, you got to have social media. The only fans, I get it. You're a whore. Yeah. But if you're like a guy who works at like a regular desk job. Yeah. Why you post it? It's weird to me. Just, you mean just look for entertainment then, but don't post? Yeah. Yeah. Like if you're not entertaining, like if I didn't have to. Would you?

Nah. I don't think I would. Dude, what? post what? Like what is happening, you know? I agree. Yeah, it's like definitely, yeah, I'm definitely envious of those people. I really, I have friends who obviously, they're not in entertainment,

and I'll be like, oh, I put it on my Instagram, and they're like, I don't have that. I'm like, you don't have that? I'm like, I don't have an account. Yeah, I have friends who literally hit me up there, like, update your email. I'm like email. This guy's just fucking.

But it's definitely more healthier than watching this for four hours a day. This can totally melt our brains. Yay! Totally melt our brains. Oh, man. What is this? What do you got?

There's all kinds of crazy shit in here. Let's see. This guy's interesting. He posts, he used to post, like, inspiring things. Like, he would go, he would do things like, you know. Three signs that you are a psychopath. If these three signs describe you, you should probably go find a psychologist. Now, he's clearly reading.

But he's also just trying to, like, share, you know, some type of information, you know? No one. You have a lack of empathy. Empathy is a normal human emotion. And if you're a psychopath, you don't have the ability to feel pain for other people's suffering. Now, the point is I'm trying to show you is that he's just trying to, like, spread awareness. Awareness about a message. The message in this case is just there are psychopaths out there.

Here's how to spot one, right? Uh-huh. So you're like, okay. that's your lane I'm trying to teach and then all of a sudden you just started posting shit like this I want to give you kisses

all the way down your stomach until my lips meet yours incredible body then keep kissing you through the aftershocks until you pushing my head away and pulling it back at the same time I like a kiss so it's like

also look at the last video you know what I noticed immediately the shitty front porch thing when you see the blind and there's, you know, the one, like the sides are fucked up too. You see? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of peeking.

A lot of peeking. A lot of. Oh, that's a really good observation. It's a lot. He's always like, yeah. What's out there? And those are eye level for sure. Yeah, exactly.

You can see. One is cock level. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Eye and cock, yeah. That's a really good observation. Yeah, this is bad. I mean, Those pants, what are those, knockoff Versace's.

This is just weird. Everything's weird about him. Damn. He's a strange dude. Damn. Life is crazy. Life is crazy. And he's shredded and oiled up.

He's all oiled up and letting you know. Whenever I see a body like that, I'm always like, bro, I've been going to the gym for 16 years and nothing's going on. I know. And you're just like... And this guy is just like, I want to kiss your pussy and look at me. Yeah. An absolute God. I feel like this guy, I don't think he trains.

Never. He don't count sets, he don't count reps. I'm doing like a Dorian Yates schedule and nothing's happening. Nothing. Nothing. The craziest body I've ever seen on a dude, one of them. And I was at a pickup basketball game

and I was like, so what do you, like, how often are you in there training? He was like, I don't lift. And it was just like Adonis, like just. Yeah, I was like, what? I see homeless people in Austin. Yeah. Incredible Greek gods. Yeah.

Just next to the highway. never even counted a rep never got up early just a fucking but does some part of your brain some part of your brain like still hold on to hope like it'll get there one day of course every day like in my in my 50s i am Arnold right you're like it's just going to happen then it has to happen yeah it has to fucking happen I feel like I go through the cycle of like what do I even do this for and then there's certain days you're like one day it's gonna be fucking awesome it's gonna show up like fucking the Avengers

and it's just delusions it's full on delusion like if it hasn't happened by now it's not happening yeah yeah yeah it's not happening all right go see ari on tour Ari Maddie.com for tickets where's what's coming up where cities are you going to you don't know Ari Maddie.com

all right you guys figure it out you get tickets there oh I'm doing San Diego San Diego Okay. La Jolla, comedy store. Great, great. Great city. You're going to have so much fun in saying.

Maybe you'll run into your hippie chick. That's where she's from. The hit, she is, she also, she fell off of a camel. She's got a little. I mean, it's two of the things we talked about. She's a little. A little out there now, more.

You know when you see the Facebook posts? Yeah. And when you click, read more, a separate tab. Oh, but. You know when Facebook, you know when Facebook is human like, this is a lot. Dude, you're working the fucking best club in the country. What? Comedy Works downtown.

I love comedy works, yeah. Have you done the downtown? I have done it. It's the fucking greatest. It's great. It's very, it's actually bad for you. It is bad for you. If you were like, I'm starting stand up, if you'd move from like Estonia to Denver

and just been like, this is the only place I work, I'd be like, that's going to fuck you out. First time I did Denver, the weekend I got back to the mothership to do gigs. I showed up with a leather suit. because I think I'm delirious. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm like, I got it. I got it. I didn't even have a set.

You're like, fine, like, everyone who goes in there, finally an audience that gets it. Exactly. Yeah, it's the best. It's a trick. Crazy, yeah. It's a trick. These are great places.

You're doing great clubs, dude. Thank God. Congratulations on all your success. Thank you. Are you going back to fat? Soon? Like ever. You think it's gonna slip?

Because it's in your bones, no? It's in my, it's in my bones, it's in my heart. It's in everything. Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, I opened a bakery, so we'll see. Chichabomba? Yeah, the big place opens in a month. I love it.

So if I'm there a lot, I don't think there's any way around it. Because it is crazy that you did like the reverse of what like guys usually do when like women marry their husbands, you know? Yeah. Because you were like tub of ass. Do you know what?

Do you know what? When I used to watch YM.H., you were a big boy. Do you know what Ron White said to me the other day? It's pretty funny. It sounds like a humble brag, but it's just so funny at the way. way he said it I walk into the to the green room he goes he's like oh look at he goes look at

james bond over here right and I go hey man he goes he goes you look you look good man handsome and I go thanks buddy like just like a nice compliment right and he just like he's just looking at me he goes you know the thing's different about you he goes you look back at my old stuff when I was fat you could tell there was a handsome guy under there he goes but with you you were just fat he goes no one ever expected anything

and I go is that the end of the sentence and he goes yeah he goes it's just a surprise he goes anyway you look good man I go thanks man he goes

you were just fat damn you know who looks great I watch F1 with Brad Pitt yeah how does he look like like that. He's 60. He's 60. 62. Absolutely shredded. And a beautiful man. Yeah. And not look.

Is it how is the 60? It's amazing. When I was growing up 60 was with when you're 60 was you had a special chair, a rocking chair and your kids would like put the blanket on you. It's a new world, dude. It's a new world. Also, I mean this guy, let's just be out. Some people are just blessed also. So blessed. Like just blessed. Like just blessed. Your jeans, your fate. I mean, he's also, I'm sure, had great maintenance these last 40 years, you know? But yeah, no, he's not a,

that's not a regular 62-year-old guy or whatever. For sure, yeah. No, he looks incredible. And he was never fat. Never fat, not like me, no, no. And maybe I'll be very fat again soon. We'll find out. At some point, it's got, the breaks are going to fall off.

Well, also, it's just like. It's in you. Yeah, it's in me. And maybe I'll be like super fucking. into it too and be like this is really what I'm supposed to be. It's super fucking gross. All right. Thank you, bro. Thank you so much for having me. We'll see you guys.

Love you guys. Bye. Plipper the wall. Flip it along. Clip it along. Flip it along. Flip it along. Just glass.