Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Aunty FeeFee-209-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: March 28, 2014

It never gets old. No matter how much time passes by, joy is always spread when someone drops a Deez Nuts joke. And if you get it on TV? Well, we collectively thank you, sir. New music from you, the little jeans, is welcomed and celebrated! It's time to post a challenge! Does a pimp or a rapper say You Know What Im Sayin more? Get out your pen and paper cause you've got some countin' to do! (You know what I'm sayin?) But everything takes a back seat to the Queen of this episode. Internet sensation, vocal inspiration and servant of our Lord, Aunty FeeFee joins us! She is as sweet, engaging and fun as you knew she would be. Does she bless our show with a special tune? Put your earbuds in and let us pleasure you ears. WE WEAR DENIM ONLY AROUND HERE!

You know what time it is. I'm the all god damn date. You know what I'm saying? 24th statement. You cannot disrespect me. I run this fucking block. You know what I'm saying? I get shit done.

24th statement. I piss and shit where I want on everybody's yard. I don't feel nothing. You know what I'm saying? 24th statement. That's a real move. 5th deal. You better show mother fucker respect.

You know what I'm saying? 24th statement. You know it's like cigarettes on the yard. You keep shit to trade shit to make shit happen. You know what I'm saying baby? I'm a wheeler, I'm a dealer. I like pulling the pineapple to the big apple. I get shit done.

You got to give me something to get something. You know what I'm saying? 24th statement. It's called step in the game. You know what I'm saying? 24th statement. I also noticed that you turned and you kicked and you moved. And you were disruptive to my mother fucking sleep.

The bed is my bed and y'all keep fucking it up. I don't even understand why y'all sleep on the couch. You know what I'm saying? 24th statement. You're lucky I don't bite your jugularly sleep. Okay. Is that the way you talk to your mom? 24th statement.

Whoa. Unbelievable. Ghost crew added again. Is there anything this crew can't do? They spit fire, that's for sure. It was unreal, that was amazing, thank you. That is for sure. Those guys are always giving us the good shit, man.

So talented. I know I like that Theo has the song for him now. He can kind of look back on fondly in his old age. Yeah, and he's like, hey, this is my jam. Yep, yep, there, that's pretty cool. I like it. He's still rude as shit though. He's rude as fuck.

I can't believe you just said all that stuff. The guy's got his own attitude problem. Nothing you can do about it. He's got an ego now that he's on the show. That's exactly right. Many thanks to the ghost crew for doing that, sending us that jam. Ghost crew also known as Pete and Chris.

They're at ghost crew and that's crew KRU on Twitter. As always, we welcome your songs, your insight, your questions, anything to your mom's podcast at gmail.com. Do we also have that hardcore song? Do we have that? I'm sorry, which one? Oh, that's in the email too.

Yeah, I started. Oh, you did? Okay. There's two songs. The hip hop one and then a metal song. Okay. Do you see it? Yeah, I want to play that for the show.

Yeah, you should. It's so funny. It's intense. I like it. Yeah, Jeans. So where are you going to go? Where are you at? Right now.

I mean, it's Friday. I'm in San Antonio. I'm at the Alamo and then later in the day I'll be at LOL. La La La Comedy Club. Yeah, I'm excited, man. I've been to San Antonio in a minute. This should be a fun weekend.

And then next week I go to Virginia Beach. I'm at the Virginia Beach Funny Bone for... I don't think you're saying that, right? How do I say it? It's Virginia. Virginia Beach for the second through the fifth or sixth. And then the following week Skyline Comedy Club in Appleton, Wisconsin.

I'm really hoping that my Wisconsin folk come out to that show. Appleton. Appleton. And then we're doing a birthday podcast, my birthday podcast show, April 16th. Happy Smurf Day. Thank you.

In San Diego at the American Coddy Comedy Company. It's a Wednesday night. A few nights later, the 19th will be back in Pasadena doing our live show there at the Ice House. Yes. That's fun. What's up with your Jeans? April 24th through 27th, the Addison Improv in Addison, Texas.

And then April 30th through May 1st, Tommy Buns and I are going to Vancouver at the Vancouver Comedy Mix. We should point out that we've been getting messages from them that the podcast show, because we're doing stand-up all the rest of the week, but the podcast is just one night and those tickets are moving. Yeah, your mom's house live is April 30th. That's right.

That's right. In Vancouver. Vancouver. And then the rest of the week is stand-up. So guys, if you want to come and see us do the podcast, reserve your tickets for April 30th. And then the rest of that week, we're doing stand-up shows. So if you want to see those tickets, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, that's a Thursday, Friday, Saturday. The comedy mix on Burrard Street. You know what I'm saying? And also, guys, I may as well go ahead and announce this now. It's very exciting. It's the very first time I'm going to be doing this. But your mommy, Christina, is doing one night of stand-up only in Portland, Oregon at the Fun House.

I'd love for you guys to come out and see me do stand-up. I don't really, I don't do that market. And I thought, you know what? Why not go there on my own, on my little jeans? And just do one night and meet you guys and have fun. Tickets are up? I don't know that yet. I can't say that yet.

But I'm just putting it out there in the Aethers if you live in Portland. Right, right. June 6th, keep that night open. I'm excited to do it. What night of the week? Is that a Friday show? I don't really have to look on the Mallender Juniors.

That's awesome. It's far in the future. But I figure, you know what? I want to talk about it because I'm excited. Yeah, you should talk about it. Hold on. Hold on. Okay, let me take a look.

That's a Friday. That's a Friday. It's a Friday. I hear you. Fun House in Portland. That's what's up, dog? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is this?

This is crazy. Also, guys, I would like to point out, if you're going to use Amazon, please go through our website because it kicks back just a few pennies are away. If you're going to shop there anyways, just go through your mom's house, podcast.com. I highly, highly, highly recommend subscribing Amazon and getting these things delivered to your home on a regular basis.

You can set things up like toilet paper delivered to your house once a month. We did that. We did paper towels every two. We did paper towels. Well, here's the thing is that we set up dishwasher detergent, dishwasher, laundry detergent, cleaning products that you would normally rebuy and rebuy.

It's just tight. Autopilot, but do it through your mom's house podcast.com. Click on our banner and that'll help the show. Please go to our site, your mom's house podcast.com. Please bookmark the Amazon banner that's there now, the new one. And you know what's funny is that I got a tweet from a FedEx guy who listens to our show. He's like, I hate delivering paper towels and toilet paper.

He's like, but I love your show. Well, good. Thanks for, thanks for allowing us to ship paper towels. And you can even ship food. You can ship. You can. Amazon Fresh. Yeah, dude.

I swear it's changing the world. It's the best, dude. There's no reason to leave your house. And I think that's why you and I love like stamps.com and Amazon. Because it really encourages a lifestyle. Tom and I support, which is never leave your house. Yeah, absolutely. Let's see.

Why bother? Oh. Oh. What else? My specials on Netflix is called completely normal. How do I watch that? I don't know where to go. Go to Netflix.com and just look for it there.

Give it five stars for fuck's sake. Don't give it four. Don't give it four and a half. Love your mom. Give him a fucking five stars. Come on. I say, give me what you feel. No, I say, give my husband five.

You know why? Let me tell you why. For the last 12 years of this man's life, he has slogged away week after week in towns like Sarasota, Florida and Medford, Oregon and Butte Montana slaving away to perfect his craft. And you know what? This is his first hour. I think he's earned five motherfucking stars.

Very nice. Do you know how many hotel rooms my husband has masturbated in? It's true. I went through a lot of them. How many prostitutes have given you road handies? That's quite a few. How many fries have you eaten to stay alive? Now we're talking really high numbers.

Lots of road diarrhea have you had. Sacrificing. So many. The least they can do is give you five stars. Thank you, Jeans. You're talented. You're very funny and I love you. Thank you.

I love you too. I do appreciate, though, all the views. I get messages every day from people that have seen it and checked it out. And also a big thank you to those of you who have purchased the album. It's on iTunes. It's on Amazon. It's called Completely Normal. Today, it went back to number one.

Because you guys have supported me. Awesome. So my heartfelt thank you. A lot of love. I just, in all of your ears. Oh. You know, I got to say, I am always astounded by the kindness of our listeners. I'm always blown away.

Do you know that we got a piece of crocheted poop? We did. They made a little piece of poop for us. And I feel like, you know what? This is our fault. We have done a poor job of even acknowledging all these little gifts. I forget about it. Like the poop one.

We got wine. The last three cities we went to. Glenn Levitt. Somebody gave it to Glenn Levitt in New York. Yeah. And then Russian Lady gave us candy, Russian treats. Oh my God. Why not?

All right. Russian New York. She gave me a hat last time. Another guy gave us fresh, nice bottle of wine in Washington. Yeah. It's just been adding up. It's been crazy. And the toe lock crocheted you a nice skull cap and me some nice fingerless gloves.

Yeah. T-shirts, sloppers, t-shirts. Somebody put a dime in the hole at the end of my penis. No. Yeah. What do you mean? Like they're like, I'm a big fan of the show and can I give you something? I said, yeah.

In the slit hole of your penis? Yeah. Then she goes, can you take your penis out? And I said, sure. And then she took a dime and she just kind of like forced its way in there and she goes, I just wanted to. Like how you open up like a children's bank. You remember you had to put your dime and you turn.

And you turn it. Yeah. And then she just pushed it in. And then she goes, that's for you. Thanks for the show. That's a weird way to say thank you. But creative. Did you keep the dime?

For a while it hurt and I bled a lot, but then I was like, I'm going to keep this dime for a while. I just wanted to thank her too. That's a nice gift. You ready to start this episode? You ready to start this episode or not? Um, what? Do you want to start this episode?

Like open it up. I don't really understand what you're saying. The episode. This episode is about to get going. Oh, your show episode hybrid word? Yeah. You created that word? Yep.

Let's do it. Well, it's good to see you alive. Yes. Yes. Yes. I don't know. Maybe this guy was on something. Maybe D hit him.

He was calling you the suspect. See, you know, I don't, I don't know. Like I said, D, D hit him. So what's it mean? What's D? D's nuts. He's just crazy. D what?

Huh? D's nuts. Harvey. This shit is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Your mom in the fucking stand. Welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house. Don't do that. Is it really that bad? I don't like it. What is it? Old one. How would you say that to me? I thought it wasn't that old.

I thought it was fairly new. Sorry. Wait, how do you know it's old? Instead of old one, I thought it was new. It's sitting on the counter. Why do you think it's not old then? Because I thought you were just drinking it. I thought you would just open that like two nights ago.

Sorry, Gene. That's that I fresh opened. I thought I gave myself that old one. Sorry. You alright? This is just open. That's fresh open. And you're drinking this.

Yeah. And you put a different one in mine. I thought I gave myself the old one. Sorry. But I will stop drinking it. We'll stop drinking it, man. Let me taste it. No, that tastes good.

It's all you. That one tastes bad what you got. All you, brother. Shit, now I don't know which one's which. No, no, no. That's a good one. I gave you the good one. Rock and roll.

I like this one. Okay. I feel like that one's old. That one tastes old as shit. We're both happy people then. Let's do it. Party. It's all good.

Oh, my God. You know what red wine when it settles, it just turns into port, you know. Fuck. I hate you. I'm sorry. It's a little vinegary. I hate you so much right now. What kind of is this though?

This is what this is. This is called a Zinfandel. This was given to us. I don't fucking know. Okay. You want to cry about it? Do you want a toms? Do you want a cracker?

So that was a guy. I'm going to pour this into Aries old cup. This is from when Aries was here. Aries Schaefer? Yeah. He's Jewish. He is Jewish. It's a really good point that you just made.

You Jew motherfucker you. So that guy was on the people's court and dropped these nuts on the post-decision interviewer, the guy that interviews you as you leave the court after the decision. What was his name? Gerald? Greg Jarul. It's Greg Jarul. He dropped these nuts.

Well, it's good to see you alive. Yes. Yes. Yes. I don't know. Maybe this guy was on something. Maybe D hit him. I think, by the way, that this guy is guilty as shit, the guy that dropped the D's nuts

that clearly he won the case. He's like, I don't know who hit him. He hit him. I get this sense where I feel like I can tell. Why do you feel that he's guilty? Is it because he's African-American? What? No.

Why? I feel like that was kind of racist. Why? I feel like you're assuming that he's guilty just because of the color of his skin. But who brought up skin? You did. That's the guy's name, not Jarul, Doug Llewellyn. Why am I presuming he's guilty because he's black?

It has nothing to do with it. I thought for sure you were like, but his skin is so dark and that's why he's guilty. No, I'm being 100% serious. I thought that's what I heard you say. No, I'm being totally serious. My sense when he was like, I don't know who hit him. For me, the guy is 100% guilty. I don't even know the charge.

The charge is obviously assault or something. He hit him. Oh my God. What do you mean, oh my God? You think it's assault? They do assault on the people's court? He said, I don't know who hit him. Yeah.

That's so funny, dude. What's funny? That you can go on the people's court for an assault charge. Who knows? He was calling you the suspect. You see? They're both black, by the way, people involved in this. Doug Llewellyn?

No, the other guy, the guy that had him in the people's court. Oh, okay. I don't know. Like I said. And this guy who drops the D's is wearing a sweater with an American flag on it. He was definitely trying to win over the judge. I think what I like most about this is that he really set the trap. Like this is something you got to be patient.

The guy didn't bite. He had to keep dropping it. D, D hit him. So what does it mean? What's D? D's nuts, man. He's just crazy. D's nuts.

What? D's nuts. That's from a bet. That is a bet. It's a significant bet is what that is. Before he went on, they said, I bet you won't drop D's nuts on the guy. On the court guy after the decision. And he was like, put some money on it and I'll drop D's nuts.

And that was significant money that was dropped. How much do you think he got? I think it was maybe like somewhere between $500 and $1,000. Yeah. That his friends were like, why aren't you drinking the fucking vinegar you gave me? Put an Ari's cup. It's for Elijah now. I like that he reacted the way you do.

You go, huh? He did a, huh? Harvey. Huh? Harvey? What's calculus? Best trap in the Mexican drops of all times. Yeah.

So what's calculus? Hey man, what's calculus? That's my favorite part of stand and deliver. Do you even remember that part? No, I don't care. That's where Lou Diamond Phillips walks in after the class is left. And he's like, hey, chemo, I'm early. And then it's the word calculus is written on the check board.

What's calculus? It's so good. But he's late. Yeah. Yeah. Class just ended. Yeah. He's like, hey man, I'm early.

How about that shit? He goes, chemo, I'm early, huh? What's calculus? It's such a good moment. It is fantastic. So much to cover. This is kind of breaking news. I believe this is, I guess this is a little bit older.

I thought this was brand new, this, the song, the Willow and Jaden song. It's old news. It's an old joke. I don't know. I feel like there was a song before that they released together. I'm not sure. Well, it's new to us. Willow Smith featuring Jaden Smith.

So it's all that talent in one song. There is so much talent. In the Mibra. There's so much talent. I've never actually heard them. I heard their mom's talent. I like it more than her mom already. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Yeah. What the fuck is she talking about? I don't know. I still like it more than her mom. Do I come so hard? What's that? She says, that's why I come so hard when I see you.

She's 15 years old. You don't think 15 year olds come hard? Of course they do. Her brother and her singing in the song. It's a little weird. They come hard. That's Jaden Smith right there. I can taste the smoke rolling off your lips.

I inhale. She says it right there. I can taste the come on your lips. Yeah. Her brother, they're singing about each other. Yeah. They come to each other. Show me.

Show me your galaxy. You drag me up. You put me here behind your eyes inside your mind. I hear your thoughts. You took me there. I wonder how if they're even aware that the only reason like anybody cares when they upload a song is because of who their dad is and their mom is.

I'm sure. I don't think they know. Now, wait a minute. Is this the same girl that's saying that I whip my hair? Excuse me? Wasn't there a stupid song about whipping your hair? I have no idea. I whip my hair?

Yeah. She's like, whip my hair. Whip my hair. Whip a whip a whip a whip a whip a hair. What the fuck are you talking about? And then it was on Ellen. And then it was like this whole thing. It was her first song.

Her debut was something about whipping her hair or some shit. The answer is yes. That is her. Okay. Well, now who's an expert? Okay. All right. Whip my hair has a hundred million views.

There you go. Now, see? Now I know stuff. You do know stuff. I like a slow start. I like a slow start to a song. You don't like a slow start to a song? I love it when it's drawn out like this.

Yeah. There's no real sounds happening. Hmm. I'm exhausted already. What's happened? Nothing, nothing. I can't believe I'm still upset with you. I can't believe you can't tell that the fucking guy you have no sense of when somebody's guilty

of a crime. Like just how would they talk? I kind of didn't. I just, I just knew he was in it for the prank. You know what I'm saying? Like I feel like he just was in it for the prank. I didn't. Like his mind, like he was on an elevated level.

Like, you know, when you know you're about to prank somebody and so you're on an elevated level of like excitement, like all I hear is like, oh, I'm about to punk this bitch. Like he, he was preparing to punk that guy. That's all I hear. Can I tell you what I think this, we should do the song version of for your sister. How does it have a hundred million views? You know, we should do, we should do Jane version of this, but it's I roll my eyes around. Your sister, cause she rolls her eyes every time anybody says anything.

It'd be so funny if it's I roll my eyes around. That's just her. But she got, she should say I hit him with a Jane. I hit you with a Jane. Jane. I rolled. I roll my Janes around. I roll my Janes around.

I've perfected the perfect vision. Perfect teeth and perfect vision. That is Jane. This is actually Jane. People sometimes think this is Maria. Oh my God. Seriously. That's Jane.

Yeah. Oh my God. Seriously. Oh shit. Yeah. So we have some fantastic stuff to play for you. I guess first I want to, I want to play this scribble sent a hardcore metal song version of your mom's house.

I love it. I love it. I've heard this. I love it. Yeah. Watch your profanity. He said never wipe up. I love it.

I absolutely love it. Good job, man. Good job, man. That was great. Really neat. I like when you say that. Really neat. Watch your profanity.

This reminds me of Wicked Wisdom. This is what Jane of Pinkett's band is all about. Wicked Wisdom is about that. Man, those fucking kids, they have no idea. Oh, how nobody, nobody would give a shit about them if their parents weren't super famous. Yeah. I don't know. They have no idea.

Yeah. It's such a bummer because they're just thinking like, oh, I'm just so talented. I'm so awesome. Everybody loves me. Yeah. Well, we have a special treat for you guys this episode. You may recall that we, I'm sure, introduced you to a lady, a lovely lady known to the world as Auntie Fifi.

We thank you for the land, hallelujah. And because we have the land, we thank you for the farms. And the song says, oh, McDonald had a farm. You remember her. She is amazing. How can you forget Auntie Fifi? She's the guiding light. She is the love.

I just love her. She's fantastic. Auntie Fifi can always look on the bright side of a bad situation and make you feel good. Oh, yeah. Okay. She had a cleanup song recently. I'm sitting here watching episodes of Good Times as if I've never seen them before. Laughing is though.

It's the first time I've ever seen them. And something came to me and said, sing a song. I mean, I just love the way she gets into stuff. Yeah, me too. This setup here is for her, but you'll hear it. This is the Valentine's Day season. And we have so many that are sharing this time with their loved ones. Man to woman and woman to man.

And sometimes the reverse, but I'm not here to judge. I'm just here to love and pray that you find your way in God. Amen. Amen. But I just want to ask God a question today. Will you allow me to ask him that? God, will you be my Valentine? In saying that, I just want to say, I love him because he first loved me and purchased

my salvation way back on Calvary. Auntie Fifi, she's always hitting all the notes. And she makes it fun. You know, she makes it playful. I mean, this old McDonald's song went into other things. You know, it's just, it's, uh, it's always good. Hallelujah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, and all this form, he had some pigs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, with an uncle here and an uncle there. Uncle here. Uncle here.

Everywhere. Uncle. Oh, McDonald had a farm. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and God, because we have pigs, there's chillings today on our tables. God, you're so mindful of your people. And we have chillings today.

God, hallelujah. And Louisiana hot sauce. You're mindful God. You're mindful God. Oh my God. It doesn't get. I love it. Yeah.

So that's just, you know, a little backstory for those of you who maybe are not familiar with Auntie Fifi. She always brings the heat and we're such a fan of hers that we got in touch with Auntie Fifi. That's right. We reached out to her on Twitter and she wrote back and I think it was probably the highlight of my life to have Auntie Fifi tweet, tweet me back and set up a call. So great.

It was the most amazing thing that's happened this year. So here's our call with Auntie Fifi, everybody. Hello. Hello. Hi. Hi, it's Christina and my husband, Tom is on the line. Hi, Auntie Fifi. Hello.

How are you? We're doing great. We're doing great. Thank you for your time. Good. Good. We're so excited to have you. This is such an honor.

I'm honored to be a part. Amen. I am. I fell asleep by accident. Oh, sorry to wake you. No, that's okay. I'm good. I'm good.

So where are you in Texas? I am. Oh, okay. And is that where you're from originally? I am. Oh, okay. Let me ask you, Auntie Fifi, obviously your videos have really taken off. You have a huge online following and people are excited to see where this came from.

How did you first start singing? Were you like a kid in the choir when you were younger? I am. I am a PK, which is a preacher's kid. I've been in church and singing in the choir all my life. But my videos, which the first one I did was Christmas 2000 and this is 2014. 2012 was purely a joke that I tagged in like 31 of my friends as a joke. And somehow another, it went viral.

I don't know how. I don't know why. I don't even question it. I'm just enjoying the ride. And so that's how all that started. Well, I feel like your work is inspired, obviously you're a Christian woman. And maybe it's because the work is so inspired by your love of God. Absolutely.

I love him more than anything I do. And I think that in the Christian life, people are portrayed that Christians have it easy. That it's a smooth ride and you don't have bad days, but we do. And so on our bad days, we have to learn how to find something to make us smile and to keep going. Because there are things, we have obstacles that we have to overcome and we have issues that we have to deal with. We got to remain positive and just keep it moving. And so that's what I try to do. Yeah.

Auntie Fifi, it's super positive. I feel like one of the things that I love about when you post a video and there's a song is that you don't stick to a script. You let it take you wherever it takes you. I remember one of your videos, it was a New Year's video and you were singing about America and like this land is your land. And then you went into like Old McDonald and you were thanking the Lord for all the animals. And then that led to hot sauce. That was amazing. Yeah.

And that's so true because I don't script him. I don't. That was my second video I ever did. Oh, really? That was my second one. I did Merry Christmas. I did wish Merry Christmas that Christmas Eve and New Year's Day. I was thinking of something and I did plan the new this land is your land.

But while I was singing this land is your land. Oh, McDonald came to me. I was getting on my way to dinner at my cousin's house and here in Texas. I don't eat them, but my family does. Chitlins is always on the table on New Year's Day. And so I took McDonald's to the Chitlins and if you eat Chitlins, you eat hot sauce. So that all came to me as I was singing. And so, yeah, they're very unscripted.

That's great. I like that you don't fight it. I like that you don't, you know, you let that inspiration come through you and you put it out. You don't let it, you don't say, oh, no, that's not on the script. You go with it. Right. Well, I think I do. I do.

It's, it's fun. And it's, it's, it's nothing that I just started doing. I'm a fool. I just say that I like to have fun. And most of my friends are fools too. And so we just do that. We sit up and I don't know if you, I don't know if you know any features kid, but I've all I've ever done in my life is play church.

And because I was, it's all I did, you know, it's all I knew was church. And so we, when we sat around the house in the afternoon, we played church and that's all I knew to do. So that's what I do now as an adult sometimes. So we, how do you come up with the inspiration? Can you describe your, your method to us for a song? I really can't think sometimes I, okay, let's just go with see Jack and Jill. I did.

Yes. I remember that one. I like that one. I just think about the fact that there are people in our lives that we have to have. And so I just take, you know, songs that, that connect us together. You know what I'm saying? You want to, you want it to reach every level from a kid to an adult. Right.

And so it's, to me, when Jack said anything, you know, whatever was Jack and Jill, whatever would come. I forgot the name. It, it, it, it let me know that, you know, hey, I need them in my life. That may not have ever been said, but their actions spoke it. And so I just go with that, you know, the three blind mice. They didn't have, they couldn't see, but they had a purpose. And so, and so therefore they dealt with their purpose.

And so even in the, even in the smallest nursery rhyme, there's an underlying message. And so sometimes we have to take those things and focus on those things to bring life to people who can't see the beat messages. Everybody can't see what revelations nine and ten is saying. Everybody can't see what Matthew one and one is saying. Sometimes you got to go to a person where they are. Everybody is not spiritual. Everybody hasn't been raised in the church, but God has a message for everybody.

I believe. And sometimes we as Christians, we as people of God, got to leave our pulpit. We got to even leave our Bible and go to where the people are and speak to them, what they are, to bring them to what God wants them to be. And so if God uses me in that way, I'm honored to do it for him. That's, that's wonderful auntie. That is just wonderful. I wanted to ask you about this, the controversy.

You know, you posted a video and you were just driving and you talked about how the truck driver next to you gestured at you and you were like, whoa, like I might pull over and it just seemed like it was in such a good nature and you were just, you know, expressing yourself. And I thought it was, it was funny and it was very playful. Yes. Did you really? This was a real scandal, everybody.

Yeah. She posted a video. You can see it on Facebook, on YouTube, just like her and this guy next to her. And it was so harmless, but she really got a backlash. They get a lot of hatred about that. Oh my God, you wouldn't believe. Really? The thing about it is, I mean, I was called a fake and all that.

And the thing about it is, you know, even some kind of in the store, some, a man may find you interesting. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And yes, I try. I do. I try to abstain and do the right thing, but let's be honest. There are days I don't want to abstain.

There are days I want to give in, you know? And all I'm trying to say to people is, you know, when you have those feelings, it's not unnatural. Right. Of course. It's not a natural feeling. You know, you have to fight to live this thing. Of course.

I mean, it's temptation. It's natural. It's normal. Right. Right. And I don't want to say no. That's why I want to say, hey, guys, close your eyes. Let me get some.

Okay. I've been doing good. I've been having it in a while. This man is here and I want some. Okay. Go get you some. I don't want to do it. You know.

And so, to keep myself, I turn into a joke for somebody else to let you know that you're not fighting by yourself. We have to make it. We can make it. Isn't it crazy that even Auntie Fifi has haters? Yeah. It's sad. I think her message is so pure and it's really about love and fun.

I think that's why we love Auntie Fifi from the beginning. It's really just about enjoying the small things and appreciating everything in your life. And God forbid that she would have feelings like a normal person one day. It's so sad. We can do this. You got to go get you some Auntie Fifi. I got.

Yeah. What's up? There's no Mr. Fifi? No, there's not. I love. I loved your response video to the haters. Yes. I loved that.

That was great. And I also loved your latest song. I loved get up and clean up because our place is filthy. And I like how you were like, I was, was it when you were watching Good Times and you're like, I just put me in such a good mood. And so can you talk a little bit about your inspiration for get up and clean up? Yeah. I was sitting at home.

I was freezing here in Texas. We don't have a lot, a lot of cold. But it was like 23, 25 degrees all day long. It was freezing cold. Oh my gosh. And I was sitting in the house. Looking at good times. I mean, laughing, looking at good times.

Like I had never seen episodes before. I looked around my house and it was filthy. I mean, I needed to watch and even wash dishes. I said, come on, get, you know, get up, do something. You know, it's cold outside, but you can do something in the house, you know. And so when I said that, I picked up my phone and I immediately shared it with my people. I ain't no lie. I did not get it and clean up.

Well, you inspired me. So we should probably like do a little sample of that for them. Yeah. Get up, clean up. And the thing is, is that I was sitting on our couch today and I promise you I was like our place is filthy. And I thought of Auntie Fifi's song, get up, clean up. And I got up and I cleaned up.

Maybe it'll inspire our listeners right now. Sing a song that you've never sung before. And I said, what song do you want me to sing? What is it that you want me to do? He said sing a song about get up, clean up and fix yourself up. So here it goes. Get up and clean up. Fix yourself up.

It's cold outside, but you inside clean your house. Get up, clean up. Fix yourself up. Get up, clean up and fix yourself up. I said get up and clean up. Fix yourself up. It's cold outside, but you inside and stop being nasty. Hallelujah.

Oh, clean up, get up, get up and clean up. Oh, oh, oh, oh. There you go. But I actually thought of this song today and it really helped me. So thank you, Auntie Fifi. You did clean up. I got up and I cleaned up our kitchen because of her song. Because I sit there, I was like, what would you have me do, Lord, right now?

She said she sang the song and then didn't clean up. I need to get up and clean up. How about that? Well, that's good because I still need to clean up to this day. But that was a total truth. It was freezing outside. But I wasn't going anywhere. But I mean, it was like, you know what, you're really, really lazy here.

Okay. And so that's why I do that. Well, we love it. We absolutely love it. And the listeners were hoping, and I don't want to put any pressure on you. Is it possible, Auntie Fifi, that we could maybe have an original song right now? You know, I've been working on one and I have a happy one. I don't have all of it.

Okay. Do you realize how fucking amazing this moment was? I'm so excited right now for the listeners to hear this. We'll take half. But I will, I'll give it a shot. No problem. Oh, yeah. Fantastic.

This is awesome. So great. Okay. Okay. Okay. You know, going through life, there are things that we just do not like and we are just not really, really satisfied with, but we got to make a decision on our life to be happy regardless.

Yes. It doesn't matter what the situation is, what our, what's going on in our lives, what we're facing. We have to choose to be happy. So I just want everyone to lift their hands and say, if you're happy and you know it, if you're happy and you know it, hallelujah, clap your hands. If you're happy and you know it, then your strength will surely charge. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. That's it. Wow. That was amazing. You killed it. You killed it.

I can't believe it. We're so thankful. I can't wait to hear the second half. That was awesome, Auntie Fifi. You know how special that was for us? Like that was awesome. That was a real treat, Auntie Fifi. Thank you.

Thank you all so much for having me. I'm so honored to be a part of your show. Amen. Thank you so much. Amen. We hope to talk to you again soon. Have a blessed evening. You do the same and God bless you both.

God bless you. Can we call you some other time, Auntie? Call me anytime you want. Yes. All right. Thank you so much. You're just so wonderful. And I can't wait to see the rest of the song on YouTube.

Yeah, we can't wait. All right. All right. Bye, Auntie Fifi. Good night. Good night. Thank you so much for that just happened. Can you even believe that Auntie Fifi graced our little show with her amazing presence?

Auntie Fifi was just on the show. I can't believe it. That's the magic of this era we live in, of technology, that I could just reach out to her on Twitter and she was that kind and sweet and she let us call her and interview. I mean, my mind is blown. How sweet was her song too? I loved it. Yeah.

I loved it. What I like about her message, by the way, is her accessibility. I like that she makes a message for all ages. That's so big. It's so important. It's good work she's doing. She's doing good work. Something important to point out to some listeners heard the last episode and they said, first

of all, that we gave the crown of, you know what I'm saying, to smack talk, right? This guy. Just let the people know how I feel about the situation. You know what I'm saying? Before I start, I just want all the fans to know that, you know, we don't condone that type of behavior here. We don't support it, no way shape or form and, you know what I'm saying? So we gave him credit and we were like, he's the man because he hit 21, you know what I'm

saying? It's in a minute 50, right? And I got some people being like, yeah, but he's not the king. The king is this pimp that we've played before on the show that we played directly after, you know, you shuffling up the crowd, you know what I'm saying? You know, you try to find out exactly what's happening on that on that track. Okay. Cool.

What I'm going to do. I'm going to sit back and I'm going to open up the track and you know, I told the whole chance to make your way into figure eight, bitch. So that pimp, he drops like 60, but it's in his entire clip, right? I mean, that is an impressive. You know what I'm saying? It is. Yeah.

But here's the thing. We only gave smack talk about a minute 50. Yeah. The internet has already taken notice of this, dudes. You know, I'm saying abilities. They condensed that 14 minute and 30 second video into 150 and they tally. They tally his, you know, I'm saying is and separately is, you know, I mean, so there's a, there's a counter for, you know, I'm saying, and you know, I mean, amazing on this video.

Now hold on before you play it though. Can I guess the number? I, I did see you came up to me last night and you go, Oh my gosh, this video exists. Now we haven't discussed the final number. We have not. Yeah. May I guess in 12 minutes, how many, you know what I'm saying? So we're going to hear.

Yeah. It's a well, yeah. A condensed version. 20 that we can have a conversation as they play underneath us because there's just so many. Well, let me, I'm sorry. Let me ask you this before we go on. How many, you know what I'm saying?

We're in the minute and 20 that we 21. So that's an average 21 minute 50. So it was almost two minutes. Okay. So yeah, it's a, he had roughly 10 a minute for the first two minutes. It's tough. It's a lot. You know what I'm saying?

So I'm going to go for, I mean, over a hundred's ridiculous. I'm going to go for like 78. And then also how many, you know, it means you think are in there 15, 15, you know, it means 78, you know, I'm saying that's, that's a lot. You know what I'm saying? Whoa. That sounded weird. Did that not sound weird?

Yeah. It sounded a little static. You know what I'm saying? That sounds better. Okay. Just to make sure, you know what I'm saying? Right now I don't know what you're saying. Okay.

Well, here goes nothing. You got 78, you know what I'm saying? 15, I mean, let's see if he can take the title rightfully for the whole video. Right now. It's popping. It's your boy Smith. You know what I'm saying? Go quick, man.

I just wanted to do this blog to update everybody with, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Whoa. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? It's a lot.

It's a lot. Like I said, like you can actually go away from it for a while. How long is this condensed video? The condensed, you know what I'm saying? It means a one minute and 51 seconds. Basically. And they're nothing but, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? But he's definitely... he is the title. I'm already just gonna give it to him. I guess so! It's so funny! You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I just... You know what I'm saying? Iet's f*****g the GIFT, Dys. Am I stomachworm? I can't take it.

You know what I'm saying? Like, you know what I'm saying? Because you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? He's relentless. hog Sant job He's round and third.

Let's see what we can do at the end here. Fucking come home. Bring it home. Hit that three digits. You know what I'm saying? Real soon, we're moving. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

What's your voice? Smirak. Smirak. You are LTV.TV signing out. You know what I'm saying? Wow. Wow. That's really good.

My stomach hurts from laughing at that. He edited that down already and had that up. Oh my Christ. Yeah. Well, that was 12 minutes condensed to a minute and 50. No, it's 14 and change condensed. Yeah. So what was it?

Sorry. What was he? No, I'm saying final. You know what I'm saying? Total. You know what I'm saying? 93. 93.

You know what I'm saying? It's a 14 minute conversation and 32, you know what I mean? Wow. Get your life. Yeah. That's a lot. Oh man. Whew.

Oh my life. 98. You know what I'm saying? 93. 93. And 32, you know what I mean? What do you think Judge Mathis would say if he was on that job? There's no question.

There's no question. No, I don't know what you're saying. Oh my God. Wow. Yeah. That's incredible. Wow. Wow.

That's fantastic. So we can officially, to all the people that were doubting, wondering about the pimp, it's definitely SmackTalk. SmackTalk. He's the, you know, I'm saying champion. Turns down, and I defy you to find anybody who can say more, you know what I'm saying? And that's 12 minute, I'm sorry, 14 minute period. I defy you, but I do like the pimp's swag more.

I do like his sound bite better just because it's so ridiculous. The pimp? Yeah. Yeah. The pimp says it. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. You know what would be interesting?

I don't know if we did a full video. Now I feel like we've never fully counted. The pimp guy? Yeah. His whole video. Shit. Yeah. It could be, it could be in trouble right now.

This is a very unscientific, you know what I'm saying? Off. Yeah. I mean, shit. His video is four and a half minutes. Okay. So on average, she has less time to do what the other guy can do. Right.

Right. So it's a much, exactly. So maybe overall. Tighter race. It is a tighter race. My first experience, right? When I took it to the rose, man, I took the hose to the strings, but I said, you know, I was mostly into that titty shakin' man, you know what I'm saying?

You know, ass wiggling, you know. So I took the basis to the concrete, you know. So I tripped me out because, you know what I'm saying? Pimp's was getting. Hold on. He says you know. I'm counting the, you know, separate. Yeah.

Okay. It's a different column, but you know, so far we have three, you know what I'm saying? That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. Two, you know, and three, you know, thanks. He even kind of whispered one, but I heard it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Them hoes, you know what I'm saying? You know, stomping down on them hoes, and I'm like, well, hold on, man.

I don't understand this part of the game, man. This shit's supposed to be about choice, you know. So my mentor, you know what I'm saying? He said, be back and he said, hold on, pepper, man. Let me tell you something, man, you know, when you cost a country pepper, man, you know what I'm saying? Pempen at a hoe, you know what I'm saying? 24th sadly, you know what I'm saying?

You know, you're shuffling up the crowd, you know what I'm saying? You know, you're trying to find out exactly what's happening on that track. Okay, cool. Well, I'm going to do them. I'm going to sit back and I'm going to open up the track. You know what I'm saying? You know, I told the hoes, you know what I'm saying? Make your way in the figure eight, bitch.

You did what I'm saying? So the hoes did it, man, you know what I'm saying? And once they see me get out on the concrete, man, and get the pimping at them hoes, man, a lot of pimps got to say, okay, you son of a brother, you know what I'm saying? I'm doing some real pimping, man, you know? So they start respecting the game in me, man. It takes loyalty. It takes honesty.

It takes dedication and devotion, you know what I'm saying? You know, when a hoe get with a pimp, you know what I'm saying? It ain't no different than a huckstable relationship, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? It's like man and wife, you know what I'm saying? But the only thing, I ain't cheating on the bitch. The bitch knew what I was doing before, you know what I'm saying? She got with me, you know what I'm saying?

So the bitch got with me. So the hoe knew what she was getting into before she got into it. This bitch, I'm not gonna sit up here and open no doors and pull out no chairs. How you doing, I'm saying? You know, bitch, you gonna bow down to a pimp, you know what I'm saying? You gonna cater to a pimp. Order, you know what I'm saying? This is order, you know what I'm saying?

You know, a hoe gonna tell you, you know what I'm saying? What type of gay does a motherfucker have, you know what I'm saying? But the hoe ain't gonna tell you how he looks. You know what I'm saying? This is what I mean, order, you know what I'm saying? I don't believe in hoes, you know what I'm saying? So many so far. I'm not counting the you-nose.

I'm just doing you-nose. I can't keep up. I'm like frantically doing both columns. Yeah, it's hard to do both. I'm doing just you-nose things. All right. Talking on the mics and, you know, looking around, bitch, you out of pocket, bitch. How you gonna explore a hoe?

I'm saying, bitch, if you gonna explore something, bitch, explore another level. This pimpin' that I got for you. So control, what I consider to be control is, you know what I'm saying? The soul, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? A hoe really gots to feel a pimp, you know what I'm saying? I said, I ain't gonna make you do this, you know what I'm saying? I ain't gonna force you to do this.

This is all gonna be about choice, you know what I'm saying? But hoe, what I'm gonna stand on is that you're gonna follow rules and regulations, you know what I'm saying? It's not like a concentration camp, you did what I'm saying. It's more like, you know what I'm saying? You know, as one say, you know, bitch, you know what I'm saying? You know, you follow the rules and regulations to society. You know what I'm saying? Well, hoe, you know what I'm saying?

I'm the circle, bitch, you know what I'm saying? Oh, God, there's so many. So, I'm gonna tell you how the world goes. Wow, wait a minute, there's so many. I'm something that has to be square. Something that has to be circle. I'm saying, but I just look at it to be profitable. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? I'm saying, I'm not no reverent, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I'm not respecting all, are I nully trying to preach to nobody? I'm trying to break everybody. You know, so the next one right here is letting the hoe note. You know what I'm saying, bitch, you know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? Stand strong and stand firm, you know what I'm saying? Hold some pimps, you know what I'm saying? Drop your motherfucking hair, you know what I'm saying? And just pull ice, you know what I'm saying? And let the bitch know, you know what I'm saying, bitch. This ain't nothing but three and a half kids, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

It's all the notes, you know what I'm saying? It's a pimp, you know what I'm saying? Automatic is when a ho notice a pimp, you know what I'm saying? She's gonna see you off the door, she's gonna smell a pimp. He's a pimp, you know what I'm saying? Let me stay awake or let me choose, you know what I'm saying? And this one right here represents the king, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

This one right here got the hole in the leech, you know what I'm saying? And the whole violin down, you know what I'm saying? But in the same token, you know what I'm saying? Pimps standing there with the crown, you know what I'm saying? And you flip it over the tears, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? P.I.s are pimping at a gnash, you know what I'm saying? And this one right here tells you, you know what I'm saying?

Snoopy, I'm back! Christ, Christ! Let me pimp or let me die, you know what I'm saying? Because, you know, I was born a pimp, I'm a died pimp. You know, if you like it or if you hate it, you know what I'm saying? I'm the nigga that your mama warned you about. Oh, shit. My hand hurts.

Maybe they were right. Fuck. I can't keep up. Let me count. Hold on. Hold on. Wow. I got 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60.

I have 67, you know what I'm saying? In a fraction of the time. So that is, but it's still less. It's still less. 65, 66, 67, 68, 69. I have 70, you know what I'm saying? We're pretty close. We're three apart.

Okay. Hold on. And then, you know, you knows I have, wait. No, I could not do that. I didn't even attempt that. Wow. Jesus. What I caught of you knows was 15, but there has to be more.

Yeah. I couldn't. My brain at some point. All right. Here we go. Round two. Listen to it one more time. Here we go.

Ready? Count again and listen as he says everything. Oh my God. No. My brain's going to explode. Yeah. That was crazy. Crazy.

He did 70. You know what I'm saying? It's in 60 something. Four minutes basically. Wow. I mean, this really throws a wrench. I like when the, you know, I'm saying had like a, he was like, you know, it was really like at the end of it.

He was out of air or he was using it to accentuate something, you know, and he would start sentences with, you know, saying that was different. He would be like, yeah, you know, saying we would, and he would start with, you know, I'm saying that's what happened there. I feel as though there was cocaine involved in his, you know what I'm saying? You think so? Sounds a little coke fueled. Yeah.

Either way, you know, we're always looking for a new champion. We're always looking to move the crown, see who really is the champ. So we always appreciate when you find really, really profound and really like other level, you know, I'm saying sayings. My favorite, you know, I'm saying, I do like this pimp guy, but my absolute favorite is the Shug Knight. Now when I worked job day in my life, not jail, because he just goes, you know, he doesn't say anything.

That's one. Yeah. Yeah. It's a job day in my life. You know what I'm saying? And not jail. I'm like, you know, I never had a job before in my life until I started working for SIL. You know, in and out of jail, you know what I'm saying?

Didn't live it every turn, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? He has the best one. He doesn't say anything and he says it. Man, I'm pfft. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

But somebody does know what he's saying when he says that. Somebody does know. Yeah. Yeah. That's why he says that. Do you know anything about this? We were sent in this video. In the place with the slum base and the edge, bit of pace, bit of knee in the place, safe

to be, X to C, safe to be with the base in your face, with the bitches in the place, rocking the place, safe to be, X to C, as you see, that is f**king me. That's it. I can't think. I'm getting blocked. Keep going, man. Keep going, keep going. He's trying to get them to freestyle.

It's pretty good, huh? It's really good. Really good. Is that Eminem's demo? That's really good. They're all f**king. They're like, we're listening, man. You're good.

That's my worst nightmare. Holy s**t. Imagine if you're doing a stand-up. They're like, keep going. That's what I'm saying. That's what I feel like my whole career has been. Like, no, you're really good. Just keep going.

Keep going. Keep going. It's funny. Hey, hey, hey. Do that joke again. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny.

It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny.

It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. Yeah. This is funny. It's funny. Hey, hey. Hey, do that joke again.

These people haven't heard you. Do it again. Oh, my God. I've got constant... I have to sit in sketches, right? What else? Cheap in a place, off the face... Oh, my God.

Kick the little face in the place. Kick them out of the place. Oh, my God. Because they're not f**king ace. I'm f**king ace. I'm the main man in the f**king place. Wow. You've been stuck in here for a while.

You've been stuck in here. Wow. Remember the name? Did you smile? Knows how to wrap it and shock it for a while. Yeah. I'm the main man in f**king Huddersfield who's going to be supplying for a while. F**k the tile.

I'm the f**king man who can do the f**king mile. That's all I can do, man. Yeah, man. I have to think more. Yeah. That was really good. DJ Smile. That was cool.

That's what's up, DJ Smile. You got s**t going on, man. That s**t was tight. That s**t was good, man. Hey, man. You got... You got a f**king... You got skills, bro.

You know what I'm saying? I feel like it's like an autistic person. That guy? Playing with them. They were definitely playing with him, for sure. They were mocking him. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Yeah. Speaking of mocking, I really appreciate how lately you've been going. I appreciate how lately you've been calling me Mrs. Dog the Bounty Hunter. Yeah. What did I do? What's wrong with that? Do you think that's accurate? I think that is accurate.

I think you are misinterpreting what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? What are you saying? You know what I'm saying? I think that a lot of times, what I'm saying is that you look like the lady. Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife. Right. But which part?

The extra ginormous J-sized tits? Yes. And the hair. The bleach white blonde long and then mullet shape. The Harley Davidson shirts that I wear a lot that make you think that I'm like her. A lot of sleeveless. Look at her. I've got the shirt on right now.

I've got a Dog the Bounty Hunter t-shirt. You have a Dog the Bounty Hunter t-shirt with her on there. Which I got as a joke when I worked on Chelsea, just so you know. It looks like you have a shirt of yourself and some like... Do I look like her? You look exactly like her. Your hair is the same. Your tits are the same.

The shoes are the same. Okay. She dresses like kind of a whore. Let's throw it out there. Like kind of a biker whore. Looks hot. Looks good. I like her.

I like her a lot. If you had to have sex with either dog or Mrs. Dog. Mrs. Dog's super hot. Of course I would have sex with her. Mrs. Dog. Yeah. Or... Hold on.

Let me think. Or Honey Boo Boo's mom. That is so disgusting. Why are you demeaning your doppelganger like that? Ask the question. Honey Boo Boo's mom or Mrs. Dog? Mrs. Dog. Honey Boo Boo's mom is a fucking animal.

What are you talking about? You're an animal. She lost a bunch of weight. So, she's no dog's wife. Show some fucking respect. Did you have a fucking clip from the blind thing? Fucking... Which one I should pull?

Do you have one of those? I do. Hold on. I'll listen to more porno for the blind. Porno for the blind. Here's my favorite porn for the blind. Go to... Okay.

Okay. Go to Skank Breakers. Okay. That one I really thought was pretty funny. Okay. Here we go. Skank Breakers. Hello.

This is Joshua here at pornfortheblind.org. Here I am presented with a clip by Skank Breakers, website showing a woman in a glass of white substances and looks not appealing. I scroll down to the page and find myself at the video playback option. I am clicking on it now. All right. The video is starting with a woman who is young and attractive

and tan laying back on a bed. What? Oh, my... What just happened is... Is the bed supposed to fold over like that? Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my...

Oh, my God. They have literally broken her legs with baseball bats and are continuing... Oh, my God. Sounds like Ari. All right. Ooh. Oh, that's not right.

Now that's how you do... I like that. ...Porno for the Blind. That guy's got the right idea. Look at this one here. I have another one. pornfortheblind presents pornhub.com. This is a two-minute and 46-second preview clip

located at http://www.pornhub.com. I have two other ones. I just wanted to hear it. I like the title. viewescorevideo.php question mark viewkey equal sign 622296204

Oh, come on with the fucking address. And the title of this one is Colossal Cox Rip Her Mouth. Oh, yeah. This is the one I picked for us. Oh, yeah. Okay, we are starting the clip. I think we're starting it.

Okay, right now there is an African-American man wearing a robin mask like Batman and Robin, and he is sitting up down on a pink couch and his penis is in her anus. She being a somewhat thick, possibly Asian woman with no pubic hair. I know she has no pubic hair

because there is another man, also African-American, who is... I'm not really sure which hole his penis is in. Oh, now we are switching to... Wow, that's really large. She is now performing palatial on the large black penis.

He has a grill and a yellow bandana. She is... Do you want another one? I like it so far. Let's listen. Looking up at him now, she is on the floor. He is inserting his penis into her mouth again. Now she is performing palatial

on the other African-American man. The first one is masturbating on her. Now he is cuddling all over her mouth and face. She is smiling and giggling and very jovial about his ejaculation. Now she is gargling with it and it has been swallowed at this point. Right now they are just showing his grill again.

Now she has switched to the African-American man number two and is masturbating his erect penis and it is now ejaculating all over her breasts and face. She does not look as jovial this time as she did the first time but she is not doing anything to stop it. That's pretty funny. Now she is covered with a ejaculate

and they are showing his grill again and I believe she is saying things of her ancient nature. They zoomed in on her fake breasts and now she is putting both of the penises in her mouth at the same time and looking jovial once more. This has been a porn for the blind presentation of porn.com. This was a two minute and 46 second preview clip

located at... I like straight boys fucking the first one not the second one with the exclamation mark. Okay, straight boys fucking. This is great. The first one, here we go. There is two, yeah. Oh, she is still talking.

How do I get this bitch to shut up? Porn for the blind presents straight boys... Is this it? Yep, that's the first one. This is a preview clip located at... Oh, I know what you are talking about, a different one. Porn for the blind presents straight boys fucking.

This is a 30 second or so length preview clip located at... www.straightboyfucking.com slash promo... Stealing our material. 1-3-5-5 slash index.html Oh, the webpage is several different pictures

of various couples doing it different ways. There is red on a black background and we see a picture of two gentlemen dressed as elves and the clip that they are in is called Stocking Stuffers. It's a holiday special. Okay, we are starting the clip. So there is a girl dressed as Santa and they are chatting amicably.

There is two men dressed as elves and now she is pleasuring one of them with tattoos, orally. And now she is pleasuring the other gentleman with her hand. While the other tattooed elf pleasures her orally. Now she is receiving it from behind, from the tattooed elf. Elves are very much enjoying themselves. They are very pleased with themselves and they are wearing red and green elven necker chiefs

and pointy hats. This has been a porn for the blind presentation of Straight Boys Fucking. This was a 32nd length preview clip located at www.straightboysfucking.com slash 1-3-5-3-1-3-5-5-slash-index.html Do you know what I'm saying? Porn for the Blind is a non-profit organization

based in Cambridge, Massachusetts. All right. All right. We got to get out of here, Jeans. We got shit to do. I'm going to have dessert. What are you going to have? Oh, okay, Mommy.

Look, we love you guys. We thank you for always, as always, for listening to our show. We'll always be here. Please visit us at yourmomshousepodcast.com. I'm tired all of a sudden. Follow us on Twitter at Tom Segura at Christina P. Go to our shows. Get my album.

Give us kisses. Send us your emails. Anything else, Jeans? I love you guys. All right. Bye, Jeans. Meow. Oh, hello.

You're black. Yes. But it gets creepy after a minute. Pleasure.