Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Bathroom Stunts w/ Ryan Sickler | Your Mom's House Ep. 702

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Go watch Ryan Sickler's special "Lefty's Son" on YouTube RIGHT now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXGHgyr2MNASPONSORS:- Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.Pull those jeans all the way over your head, because Tom Segura is coming everywhere and it might get on you. We check in on Unk Shine, follow up on coming with your dad, Lady Gaga and watch another batch of "Barista, I Love You" videos.We then welcome podcaster, standup comedian and oldschool YMH favorite, Ryan Sickler! He tells us about his recent medical flare up, we introduce him to Blind Bob, we have some brown talk, and take a look at a WILD batch of horrible or hilarious clips. Ryan Sickler brings a wash cloth to the table, we watch a WILD Chiro video, we follow up on the TikTok with the cool nose ring, review more tramp stamps, and Christina’s TikTok curations.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

We're finally on TikTok at your mom's house. See all the clips from the past and present. It's at your mom's house on TikTok. I would say Lady Gaga, if you don't need to hear how wonderful you are all day, this is the podcast for you. Here's another cool, cool, as long as we're on the topic is coming with your dad.

Well, let me tell you something. I am a poor, by the way. You wash your feet? Wow. What? Wash your feet? Yeah. Welcome, welcome to your mom's house.

This episode of your mom's house is brought to you by Saatva. Go to saatva.com slash the shit. And what do you get for that? You get $200 off any mattress of your choice. That's $200 off any mattress that you choose, and it's the shit. Why is it the shit? Because we've been sleeping on it forever.

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Look, it's more electric than your eyes. It is like super blue. Yeah, it brings out your pretty eye colors, Tom. Yeah, thanks. Thank you. If you're listening, if you're watching, write the moment, the moment this came out, I am about to embark on a journey to Europa.

And it'll be the final, final leg of the I'm Coming Everywhere world tour. Haven't you been to space? This world, yeah. Yeah, this world. But that is gonna be, I'm gonna end up, I think our final count is gonna be a total of around 300 shows.

That's amazing. It's pretty crazy. And you came in every city, which is the best news. No, no, I don't. You didn't? No, I skipped some cities, yeah. Okay. But I'm very excited to be, so if you're in Europa,

you can check out the list at tomsegarer.com slash tour, and you can see that I'm doing a bunch of cities, bunch of different countries, and we're gonna be zippin' and zaggin' all over. I mean, I will say you're gonna eat so well. You're going to my favorite eating destinations. I'm going to your home country first. Bra, number one.

Starts in Budapest. Paprikas, chierke, you have to have chierke, you get paprikas. And you have to have colbas, and, but you like that stuff, right? You like chicken paprikas, sure. I love paprikas. Are you kidding me?

You're gonna go to Belgium? I think so. Brussels? You gotta have the waffles, the Belgian waffles, man. And the mussels with the fries, goddamn. I'm going the old, What are you going else?

Mustache's birthplace. I'm going to Austria. Oh, mustache. Check out one of my favorite painters of all time. Ooh, you know you have to go? Yeah. Fiegelmüller. Fiegelmüller.

In Austria, Fiegelmüller. I'm going to Copenhagen, I've never been there. I've never been to Oslo. Boring, boring food. It's very Nordic. Jesus, yeah. Just the pale fish. You might like that.

You don't like flavor. Those are her words, not mine. I'm going to Bali. Oh, Jay Paris. Very excited about. I'm going to Athens, I've never been there. Prague, which I've heard just. Beautiful.

The absolute best things about. Beauty. I've never been to Zurich. Vien, that's Hitler's birthplace. Didn't I lead with that? Yeah. And then I'm going to Barcelona. Nice.

And Madrid. And then Dublin. Dublin. Glasgow. Nice. Balfast. Nice. London.

Birmingham. Bam. Manchester. And Reykjavik. And then. That's where it all ends. And then Las Vegas. Las Vegas is not considered part of Europe.

Reykjavik. But a few months later, yes. I have a couple more shows in Las Vegas. I had a few about a month or so ago at the Chelsea, at the Cosmopolitan. Very beautiful venue in Las Vegas. What exciting cities to visit. I'm so pumped.

We're going to meet you in LDN. You are. You're going to bring the kiddie poos to LDN so we can hang out for a few days. I can't wait. Oh man, it's going to be so. It's going to be fucking epic. I'm going to eat some bangas and mash.

I love mine. Yeah, can't wait. I'm going to die of domino. Yeah. What city are you most excited to see? Well, there's a combination between places I've been to and that I'm really excited to go back to. Like, you know, I lived for a while in Madrid.

I'm really, I've never been back to Madrid. So that's exciting. I've always loved Paris. Paris is one of those cities that's just exciting to go to. I'm excited to spend time there in Dublin and London. But like, I'm so excited to see Prague because I've heard nothing but amazing things about Prague. Gorgeous.

And I've never been to Zurich or Copenhagen, so that's exciting too. Copenhagen. Now, remember what we were talking about last week, how America is number one. Right. Do you know, like, what do you, in Europe, which European country considers themselves number one?

Well, that's the thing is I think they're a little more self-deprecating. A lot more, yeah. So I think they have a lot of people have an honest view about what they're awesome at and what they're not. So like, you know, a lot of times you hang out with Brits and they'll be like, yeah, our food, whatever, like, go, go take a short flight somewhere else

if you want to eat well, you know? Like, they know that they're, most people don't consider Great Britain to be a culinary destination, even though there are now a lot of great restaurants and things. But like, still, they're not going to be like, our food's better than the French, you know? I mean, like, no, of course not. So I don't know.

I think a lot of Europeans are pretty honest about, like I said, like, you know, this is what's great here. Like, you know, our parks are more beautiful, but so-and-so they have better food. Yeah, they're a little more smart. Although Germany used to be like, we're number one, not anymore. I can't say that anymore.

I think they know they're good. They're not allowed to say that anymore. They're allowed to say they're good at getting things done. They know how to execute a plan, you know? They still are very thorough. I think Paris, I feel like the French are very, we're number one. Quietly, quietly.

Yeah. They're not as vocal. Sure, sure. I mean, you know, I think it's funny, like, they'll obviously, like the people in Milan will be like, we have the best. We're fashionable. We're fashionable, but like, don't expect to like, have somebody show up on time, do you think?

Right, like, the German will be like punctual and yeah. And yeah, they're pretty good at, you know, if you're going to execute a plan, you know, whatever it may be. They're usually good at that. Vienna is so beautiful, BTW. Yeah. Like, it's Hitler's birthplace, therefore, he never bombed it. I'm telling you why, OK?

So he never bombed it during World War II. So they say that's why it stayed beautiful and pristine. They never destroyed those churches and structures and such. And the food's outstanding. And like, the subway, there's not even a piece of gum on the floor. It's like, hotically. In Vienna? Gorgeous, yeah.

All right. It's very nice. Very exciting. Good Wienerschnitzel there. You're going to eat lots of good things. I'm very excited to see it all. Very excited. This is me very excited.

I have to wear my grayest suit, but not a fan of color. No, they're not. This blue is way too alarming. That's crazy for them. They don't like it. Don't like it. All right, well, look, there's a lot to cover. We have one of our absolute favorite human beings

is coming on the show in a few minutes. So let's open this show the right way. You ready? Here you go. Hey, good morning, Christina. How you doing, my baby? Oh, you're so beautiful, Christina. Yeah, girl.

I'm trying to tell you now. You got some black pants on. Uh-huh, with a green shirt. Christina, just give me one chance to touch your stupid ass. This shit is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Your mama in the fucking stand.

Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura, Tom Tsutsuru, and Christina Pajitzen, Christina Pajitzen. To your mom's house. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. That's cool. Wow, a personalized video. Yeah, I wonder why he went kind of naughty at the end. He called me a stupid ass.

No, he was a touch of stupid ass. Well, he doesn't normally call the women he like stupid. He's not really calling you stupid. Just sound like I'm going to touch your stupid ass. Yeah, it's just he's playful. OK, I wasn't sure if I should get offended or not. He's not saying it like that. You know what's funny is that I don't get offended

by anything he says, but don't call me stupid. Yeah. He can be like, I want a lick, yes. Well, he does want to do that. Touch your booty. Yeah, he does. I don't care. Yeah, I bet he's like actually such a romantic look.

Like, I bet you he's so super sweet. I bet it's fun to date him. Oh, yeah, no stupid ass. You and Megan. Yeah, God, you're got some stupid ass. Oh, he's a bastard. With them bras, yo, man, Christina. He doesn't know what to do.

You and Megan, you're got some fire draws. Me and Megan? I want to smell them draws. Markle? Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, Christina. I'm going to pass my tongue in your ass. Megan, you too.

Glover, Megan Glover. Oh, Megan Glover. Oh, my baby. Uh-huh. I'm trying to tell you, not Megan Glover. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Tom.

It's a real cool way to put a pepper in my step. I'm very surprised he's flipped the camera back to himself. I liked when it was the door. He had the camera facing the entrance to his apartment for a series of videos. It was a super artistic choice, you know what I mean? Because it was all him for a long time. And then he was like, check this out.

And it was the door and the table. And it was for like 50 videos or something. Right. I wonder what happened. Maybe he switched it back. I don't know. Can we check? Is there a way to look?

I'd love to know. And he's wearing a silly hat. He usually doesn't wear a. Switches it up. It's a new season, you know? We're getting into spring. It's like a. It looks like a safari hat or a paper hat, I can't tell.

There he is, yeah. Let's see, which way is the camera facing? Yeah, we're back on ourselves. Yeah. Yeah, here we go. Oh, wow, full body shot. Oh, you got a friend over here, though. That's rare.

It's still blurry, though, so that's good. I'd like to see the door series. It's one of my. What's the strongest work, the door period? The door period is like, as somebody that appreciates art, wow, this is. Wow. Upload heavy.

This is quite a bit. Page, it's like, it's a lot of the same. Well, these are all in one day. That's the craziest part. These are not over a series of weeks or months. You know, and I have trouble uploading one video a day. Wow, he knows. To social media.

He knows that the algorithm respects consistency. He sure does. You just have to keep posting. Holy shit. This is outstanding, yeah. Dude. There we go. The door series.

And there's a red bucket. Yeah, there's a red bucket. A red bucket by the door. Look at these. See, this wasn't just one or two. That's my favorite thing. He was like, I'm going to do something different here. Oh, an ashtray, maybe, you know.

Just the lamp. Oh, the lamp. Very creative. This is wild. Oh, the mop? Oh, no, there's the mop. That's where the switch happened, yeah. It was pretty cool.

And the cool thing is, he never was like, here's the door. He just kept doing what he does, but showed you the door. Right. And you make your own interpretation of what that is. You do what you want to do, which is what a real artist does. Real artist doesn't go, oh, what I was doing here, what? No.

Well, you put your own lens on. You feel what you feel. Yeah. You go through what you want to. Scroll up a little bit and just like, I don't know, just pick one. Pick one, yeah. Egan, how you doing, baby?

See? Oh, girl, I'm in love with that dress. Yeah, it's an interesting choice. You know what? Who you going to be? I'm going to tear them drawers off of your ass. You know what? OK, can you press?

You know what I'm seeing? What? I feel like what's cool about this angle is that by focusing on the door, part of your mind goes, is she about to walk through? He's showing you, this is where you'll enter. Anticipation building, yep. That is actually pretty clever.

So it's very brilliant. We don't know that. And then I like the little country cute thing. There's like a fake bucket of apples on the table, too. It's got a crafty, homey vibe. Now, I see he's putting, remember when you used to smoke cigarettes in your room as a teenager. And then you put the towel under the door.

Is that what's going? What's he smoking? Maybe not cigarettes, but yeah, that's a great idea. He's so beautiful, Christina. Thank you. I'm going to fucking puke. Why? No, I mean, it's flattery.

Sorry, I shouldn't be like that. You know what? I take it back. Sorry, I'm going to take my shoes off for this episode. You OK? These are good, right? Yeah. So good.

I got to cross. You know what it is? My hips lock up. I got to sit like a certain way. I can't sit for so long. I think those glasses really made you an old juke rock. My hips are tight. OK, there we go.

You OK? Yeah, I feel better now. One of the weirdest moments in YMH history. I've got my hips lock up. Oh, yeah, I do all the time. OK. My butt bones start to hurt. The old butt bone.

Remember when I put my deodorant on? You don't think that was a weirder moment? Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. How come we don't have a woman? I wish we had a female onkshine that could give you praise and you adoration and love. I feel so selfish taking all the energy, sexual energy,

you know? Yeah. It's not fair. I mean, you think there's a bunch of, unkshine's one in a billion, you know? Speaking of lots of cool guys out there. Lots of cool guys. Speaking of turned on and sexual activity,

we were talking about jerking off to the same porn that your father had. Yeah. And if you inherit pornography from your dad, is it weird that the two of you come to the same stuff? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember. Now I remember.

And he's not amused at all. The dove thinks it's totally fine. OK, here we go. Hey, mommies, just wanted to share my fucked up dad porn story. So I kept my stash of porn DVDs in a kind of hidden spot. And after moving one time, I couldn't find them. I didn't think much of it at the time.

I was still unpacking at the new place and maybe I just hadn't found them yet. Fast forward a few months and I was over at my parents' house and I was snooping through some of my dad's stuff. And what do I find? You guessed it, my missing porn DVDs. I don't know how to feel now knowing my old man cranked it to the same material I have, Terry.

That's dark, right? It would be better if he shared whether or not these were just generic porn or specific kink porn. You know what I mean? If it were that, then it would be another level of porn. Well, you're in luck. Oh, great. Hey, I'm Ezra.

So I found my dad's porn videos and boy, they were crazy. Hotel Sodom 1 through 10. I was so young, I didn't know what that meant. So my friends and I started to watch them. Well, let me just say it gets wild, especially for an 11-year-old. Oh, my God. Pooholes for days.

Anywho, till this day, I can't get enough of the poop shoot on a lady, of course. Piss on me, beat me, love you, mommies. Hotel Sodom. Yeah, buttholes. Yeah, so his dad's in the, and then now he's in the buttholes because he was watching them at 11. Yeah, that's kind of cool how porn works that way.

It is kind of cool. When you get those trauma grooves burned into your brain, that's trauma at 11 to see pornography. And then you're like, what does this make me come so hard? Because it was traumatized into your brain. And now it's your reptilian wiring. Cool, right? Here's another cool, cool, as long as we're on the topic

is coming, coming with your dad. I was listening to the latest episode where Tom couldn't believe people could, would come at the same time with their father slash get off on the same thing. Where Tom couldn't believe it. What's up with Tom these days? What a fucking nerve, what a square. Tom's weird perspective.

Yeah. I used to work as a stripper and the amount of father, son dances was surprisingly a lot. Also, they definitely came at the same time, Ella. Imagine your dad looking at you and coming at the same time. Like I come on tech and he goes, oh, right? Like, and you've already started, so you can't stop. And you're like, oh, fuck.

It's fucking horrible. It's so dark. And then that stripper's like, she just giggles her way away. Did you and your dad just come at the same time? Are you guys going to tip or what? Ugh. Yeah, it's kind of weird to get a look. Dad, he's like, I'm a little short, buddy.

You think you got any extra cash when you're like, oh, fuck. I mean, did you ever go to a strip club with your dad? Never, no. No, no, no. It would be weird to get a boner next to your dad. No, I never, I never, no. I guess it happens frequently. I mean, it's disgusting.

I can see like a father, son going to a strip club. You know, there's also like bachelor parties and stuff where it's like, but if it got like, if you're in the mind space of like, this is a party, there's all your friends, but if you're going there to like be a deviant, that would be just, you know. It's all about, woof. Your head space.

Yeah, oh my God, hold on. Oh, really? When I was 18, my dad took me to a Native American casino. Casino? And how'd that go? I think, I'm starting to think now, because I just started telling that story to people, and I'm starting to think that's kind of where

this journey started for me, because. Was he into it? Well, we were like, I turned 18, he's like, oh, yeah, let me take you to the casino. I was like, oh, okay, I'm down. And so we play Blackjack. And I, at one point I'm up 700 bucks. Whoa, 18 years old too.

And then I go right down to zero. And then my dad let me go to the ATM two more times. And he did not stop me at no point. Is he like, hey, that's probably too much. He's like, get it back. Yeah, he let me stick the fork in the outlet. He was really cool like that. Did you, I'm assuming you left the night down?

Well, yeah, and then that really imprinted on me. And it was just like, we shouldn't have left. Yeah, of course. It's only realized losses. Anyway, that's right, they owe us money. They owe us money, we're coming back. I was waiting for Nadav to be like, and then my dad and I came at the same time.

I thought that's where that story was going. I mean, I have another, like where we got a massages at the same time, which was coming. That's what I want to hear about. What? He took me to like a place to get like a pedicure. And so like you start with the pedicure and then they're like, all right.

And now like lie down on this thing where it's just everything's just separated by like cloth curtains. But like I could still kind of see him from across the room. And so at one point they start like, they start doing the chopping, the back of the legs, and then they start getting closer and closer to the ass. And then at one point I could only describe it

that they just start uppercutting me and my butthole. And like I just start laughing because I'm like, I don't know how to politely ask him to stop doing this. And so I look over at my dad to see what he's doing. And he's just passed out snoring. Snoring, yeah. And so then like, I was just like, okay. It's better than moaning.

Yeah, I was just gonna say. Well, after the massage I asked him, I'm like, do they always uppercut you? Cause they're doing the same thing to him, but he's passed out. And I'm like, do they do that every massage where they uppercut your asshole? And he's like, they do what?

And I'm like, oh, you didn't even know that they do that. Yeah, that was just for you. I don't think he did that. Uppercut your asshole. They're like, I gotta get this little Irish kid off. Yeah. See who he likes. Vineland and Lancasham.

Nice. Jesus. Way to go. Anyway, it's really cool. Sexy. I didn't do anything remotely sexual with my mom. Thankfully. Yeah.

Like nothing. Yeah. I mean, if I were a boy though, my dad would have done like fucking crazy shit. I think if you were a boy, Dad would have been fucking crazy with you. It's crazier. We would have been in Costa Rica

for my 16th birthday. You would have had like an M16 for your 16th birthday. Yeah. I mean, he was already giving me boys stuff when I was a little girl. This is Better bike for your BMX dirt bike. And he did. I was shooting guns when I was seven in the backyard.

He already started me on this stuff. Yeah. If you were a boy, you'd be a total diva. Total diva. I mean, he kind of did raise me. And then we were at the... You'd be that guy I saw at the airport. Remember?

Oh yeah, dog. Yeah. Stay calm. Stay calm. You know those stay calm shirts? It's like, stay calm. Oh, carry on. Yeah.

Yeah. This one that says, I don't stay calm. I'm Hungarian. Bosmeg. Bosmeg, which is like, motherfucker. Yeah. It's aggressive. It's super aggressive.

I saw it and I was like, what's up, dude? He had full sleeves and like crazy jewelry on. I mean, I like your shirt here. Yeah. It's 100% a cultural thing. It's so funny. Aggressiveness. Yeah.

Cause I was talking to my shrink about it. And you know, in therapy, you learn to separate like your parents from your quote culture. I'll be like, it's just cultural, like they're maniacs. She's like, no, it's just your parents. I'm like, actually, no, it's pretty universally. Let me show her that Hungarian tourism video. It's like, if you come to Hungary, you are not welcome.

And you're like, oh, okay. Got out gypsies. Yeah. Go away, speak Hungarian or leave. Yeah, it's cool. It's true. Yes, we have fence. Yes, we have guns.

I love it. This is Hungary. Yeah. Wow, that's a cool video. Yeah. And they hate non-binary. And they hate anything. Oh yeah.

They outlawed it. Yeah, it's cool. You have been fixated. Yeah, which one? The last couple of weeks. Yeah. On Lady Gaga and... I have been, and because I've been on TikTok

and I found snippets of her interviews. She's in your algorithm now too. And she, some of these interviews, like she's insufferable. Well, let's take a look. Let's take a look. I, God. That's the most impossible for people even to probably even look at my career and the things I've done

and think, oh, she didn't want, you know, of course she wanted to be famous. Of course she wanted all that attention, you know, but, you know, it's just creative expression is what I am. And I would have been doing this whether I became famous or not. I still would be doing what I do. I just, what I'm saying is I wouldn't have given up

to try to get famous in another way. Does that make sense? Uh-huh. I just wanted to get a job being creative. And I did. I think it's funny because Jamie Lee Curtis is like such a gangster. It's just really the lesson when somebody

is talking like this, you just stay quiet. Yeah, let it go, let him go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep talking, crazy. I think the hardest thing for me is that I love people so much. So hard. And it is very hard to.

She's a nurse, she should have been a nurse. Not be able to engage with people in a real and honest way. Because they want. Because they either want something from me. Or they want something. Or they see me as something that I simply am not. Tom. Tom, hold on.

Yes? What, what would you say if I told you, Tom, creative expression is what I am. Uh-huh. It's so gross to say that. And like, I didn't want to be famous. Really, that's why you wore a meat dress to the VMAs. It's just creative expression.

You didn't, you just wanted to be, like you want, you didn't mind being an obscure pop artist. What are you talking about? Of course. It's nonsense. And she's like, I just want to connect with people. In case this gets missed here in this part. House of Gucci was doctrine.

It's a terrible, terrible thing. Back to what our original point was. Creative expression is what I am. I am not some goddess that dropped down from the sky to sing pop music. I'm not some extra incredible human person that needs to be told how wonderful they are all day and kissed and told how incredible.

I don't need any of that. Truly my purpose on this earth is to make people happy through and heal people through music. That's what I am to do. She's mother Teresa. To create fantasies that allow people to not just escape, but to see that there is the potential for magic in life. I would say Lady Gaga,

if you don't need to hear how wonderful you are all day, this is the podcast for you. You should check this out every week. It's insufferable. It's really hard. But it also, you know, here's what, it's actually kind of interesting. It's kind of interesting.

Because it's fading, but it's still there. What's happening is, you know how when you get really, really, really famous, you get weird? The reason you get weird is because people treat you a certain way all the time. And it feels good because everyone's actually adoring and kind,

overly kind, but it's insincere. It's manufactured. She's aware of it. And she's aware that the world is just, has changed around her. And that she'll never be able to access the world the way a regular person does. So she's trying to explain it.

She's trying to explain, but you just sound ins, like you sound so full of yourself, trying to explain it. Yes. She's in the same boat as like a Michael Jackson was. Sure. Or a garth, or like a, you know, like a decaprio,

like somebody who's so, so beloved, so many fans. And all day people are like, let me get this for you. Yeah, yeah. And she's actually sees that, you know, I can't access the world the way you, I don't need all this,

but it's in trying to explain it to somebody. And she's talking to a famous actress who's just not as famous as she is, who's able to kind of stay realistic, you know? But it's impossible. It's already left. Like the ship has left. The ship has sailed on.

And maybe her awareness will stay, but maybe it won't. It's like that. Once it gets to a certain point, it actually, I feel like it actually leaves you. It leaves your ability to stay in the realm of reality. Right. Kind of did just.

So what you're saying is, so what happens to the ultra famous is like, you forget that people are kind of being false to you. And then you start to believe. You start to believe it. It does get, I do believe to a degree. I mean, look, if somebody was ever, you know, taking care of your every women desire

and always telling you that you're wonderful, you're brilliant, you're gorgeous, you're perfect, whatever, like there's very little disagreement with the ultra famous. In other words, your opinion's always like, that's fucking, yeah, that's what you said. Like nobody goes, I don't know about that. And so it becomes, you can insulate yourself

in this world of like. Yes, man, yeah. Of worship. It's probably the most like being royalty. Like a king or a queen. Yes, yes, yes, it's so fake. Man, and it's like, then you start, they always say, you know, the king and the queen,

they needed somebody to be like, let me be direct with you. But if you're a pop star or like a movie star, it can get to a place, I think, where you have very, very few people. And she seems to have like a sense of awareness about it. Yeah, I agree. I think that is what she's trying to convey. She's trying, but I just love people.

And I want to let you know there are magical moments in life. It's like, okay. That's the bullshit side of it. Yeah. Look, she didn't, that is bullshit. She wanted to be famous. She wanted to be known. She wanted attention.

Of course. What artist wants to labor in obscurity for life? I didn't. I just wanted to express myself. Yeah, I don't buy that. Cause if you wanted to just express yourself, you would have just remained in Brooklyn or wherever you were just doing your thing

and putting stuff on the internet. Like you would do fucking community theater. Like don't give me that. So be honest. Say, look, I wanted to make a ton of money. I wanted to be super famous. And now that I got there and then I got there and realized it was lonely as shit.

Yeah. And there's a bummer side to it. I would much respect, more respect that interview. Yeah, well. Then this horseshit of like, Tom, I am creative expression. Like, okay. It's enough.

I can't. She's just an artist, you guys. She's just an artist. Well, from this fucking unreal to this. We have put it out there. Yeah. It's like your drive-through people that you love them. And you keep doing it and you keep sending in the videos

and they're a lot of fun. So good. So here's Eddie and Chase. Thank you. Love you. She did it. Oh, sweet. Thank you.

Is that all? Yeah. All right. Have a good night. Thank you. Love you. Do you need any extra gas? No, thank you.

I can't. She's done twice. That was good, yeah. That was Victoria. And the way she does it is the way you do when you hang up on somebody. Like, I love you. And then you might reflexively,

is that the word, yeah? It's a reflex. I love you too. Yeah. She knew he didn't hear it the first time. And she was like, one more sauce, and she was like, I'll get him again. Yeah.

It's Can I get a double stacker, a meal, a medium, with a break? I think that will do it. Thank you. It's really good. It's really how to do it. It's the best way to do it. Thanks, Mommy.

So I got a Hitler, I got a Jean, I got a Mommy. Oh, I know what's left. I thought it was done. Thank you. Thank you. Love you. And there you have it. That was amazing.

The full circle. So I may think, I'm thinking now if we can sneak in a high Hitler too. But I want his points if he can get in a high Hitler. Yeah, he did it so nice. He's like, hey, Hitler, let me get him. That's the thing. I feel like if you can get in a high Hitler and thank you, Mommy. Well, one thing we have to get is just, I mean, people just,

I just want to hear somebody going, did you just say, sorry, what was that again? Did you just call me Hitler? Yeah. I just, I just, it's morning. I just not having had my coffee yet. Because there's no way when you're in a drive-thru, you would never expect someone to say Hitler.

Hey, Hitler, can I get up? They for sure were like, whatever. I didn't hear that. There's no way you're going to hear high Hitler. There's no way. There is if you say it like you just said. But if you're like, hey, Hitler, like, hey, Hitler. If you do it like he did, you can get away with it.

Yeah. I'm going to start doing high Hitler. Yeah. Hey, Hitler. Hey, Hitler, let me get a, yeah, you do it like that. Yeah. Yeah. But if you go high.

I know. Hitler. Yeah. Yeah. Then they're going to be like, what was that? I know. See, high old Hitler, you don't want to make it sound like that. No.

You'd be like, hi, Hitler. Okay. Hi, Hitler. I like to order a number two. Yeah, like that. Yeah. Hey, Hitler. Yeah.

Hitler, I, Hitler, I'm trying to get something for, is your breakfast still being served right now? That's the way to do it. Are you switched to the lunch menu, Hitler? Yeah. That's the way to do it. Does a number two come with Nugget Hitler or Frieds? Yeah.

Hitler. Hey, look, can you make that a bigger size for me? How many sauces have Hitler come with the chicken thing? Do you get it? Okay. That's the next game is sneaking into Hitler and how many can you get in there? All right. Thanks, Hitler.

I love you very much. Yeah. How many Hitlers can you get in? I think that's really funny. What are you calling me? No one's going to say that. What would you just call me? Oh, your name's not Hillary.

You could be like, Hitler. Oh. No, my dog is Hitler. I got her here in the back. Yeah. I'm just telling her to be quiet. I got a, I got a golden retriever in the back. Just kind of licking my neck.

Yeah. You can just say the dog's name is Hitler. Sure. Sure. One more from Zane. Hey, Hitler. Zane. Zane.

Hey, welcome back. What can you serve for you? What's that? I'm going to get a grande hot peppermint white chocolate mocha. Jesus. It's elaborate. And that'll be it. All right.

Ready, set, go. Let's be here at the window. Thank you. I love you. I love you. Aw. That was very wholesome. That was sweet.

That was sweet. That was very wholesome. That was sweet. And then. Not as fun as a Hitler. Look at his cup. Aw. He just drew a heart on the cup.

Very sweet. Very sweet. I've seen a few of these where the person said, and then they go, let me too. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice. It's very nice. Put it out there.

And that's really what YMH is all about. I just wanted to spread magic into the world. When I started this podcast, I just wanted to be somebody that shared the love that I feel inside of me every day. Love is who we are. I didn't do this for the ads. No, we wanted to stay poor forever. I don't want to sell tickets to arena shows.

I just wanted to be funny and make people love. The fuck out of here, you dumb cunt. All right. Let's take a break. We'll be right back. We are back. And this is very exciting news because right now, right now, you can go on YouTube this moment and check out our guest's new special, Lefty Sun.

Give it up for Ryan Sickler, everybody. Thank you, guys. This should be easy. Why the defense not working, huh? It ain't going out like that. So it was almost my last rendezvous. It was. Now that I think about it.

It's your last rendezvous. It's your last rendezvous. Thank you so much for having me, guys. What an intro. I tell you. I'm so excited. We love you. We're so happy you're with us.

Me too. Thank you very much. I spoke to you in some very precarious times not long ago. And I know you've been telling your story, but it's pretty wild. You had like a real close call, man. It was very, it was way too close. Listen, go watch my special. I almost died.

All right. I almost died. I've hit my $10,000 out of pocket maximum. I have blue shield silver. Okay. I don't even have the gold one. So go. It's free.

It's free. Cost you nothing. Cost you nothing. Go watch my special. I directed it. I produced it. I was killing it on it as well, couldn't do it without him. So thank you for letting me promote it.

And yeah, I told the whole story on the honey do go subscribe to that as well. My podcast. But yeah, it got. Listen, man. Of course, I went in for a three hour outpatient procedure. That's all I went in for. And it's because you had some like something on your spine. Yes.

Well, I had a spinal injury from high school that I just, it just kept progressively getting worse. And when I did the troubadour, it was the first time in my career, I couldn't feel my, both of my legs and I sat on a stool for your show just cause I couldn't fucking stand. Yeah. And I did the whole show just sitting. And then I went to the surgeon and he was good about it. He said, look, unless the quality of your life is affected, I don't want to operate.

Operate. It is surgery. And I was like, it is. I can't work. So we, you know, we did the surgery and there was a small tear ended up being in there and it ballooned up. It's supposed to go down. Obviously you're just supposed to walk around.

This is post surgery. Yeah. Do the surgery, post surgery, it balloons up and they say, come back in. They cut me back open and now it's two back to back surgeries. It's lay still and don't go anywhere. But the problem with laying still that I found out in 2016 that I have this genetic blood disorder that I was telling Christina that you guys have called me sickle cell for so long.

Yeah. You manifested a fucking blood disease. Well, that was, that was the goal. That was always the goal. Yeah. Sweating like a, like a black man. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I have what's called factor five lighting. Yeah. A lot of people out there have it. And it is. I mean, loosely. It's a white person sickle cell. It's like this European thing that people, white people give each other.

Yeah. And I fucking have it. And it turns out I found out my dad had it because my mom and my two brothers get tested. They don't have it. Which means then my grandmother gave it to him who I'm, I'm, this is all I'm processing. Yeah. Holy fuck. I got to make sure my daughter doesn't have this shit.

Factor five, this is why you have to wear like compression pants or socks on, right? Yeah. Like when I fly. Makes your blood clot easier. And blood clots can kill people on flights. Everywhere. Kill you anywhere. Anywhere, but they always tell you to be more cautious of it on flights.

They told me that you can go get a regular massage. Not know you have a clot in your leg and that masseuse doesn't either. Just regular and boom, they can break that clot off and kill you. And I was like, that can happen. Like it was all terrifying in there. Jesus. And again, I'm in there for my back and my blood is basically syrup, syrup. I have to just keep moving and I'm telling everyone.

I didn't give a fuck who they were. Man, I got this shit and I need to get up. Yeah. You're not letting me do anything. Yeah. And then they test me and I end up clotting the day that the lady's like, hey, you're, I do the stairs test. I was telling Christina, like, thank God I have stairs.

We spoke just after this. Yeah. Yeah. And I said, Mr. Sickler, as your occupational therapist, I can tell you that you have successfully passed the necessary test to go home today. And I collapsed on my bed and I said, I'm clotting. And she goes, what? I said, I would love to find this lady.

I said, I'm clotting. And she called a doctor in. He said, your blood pressure is dangerously low. You might be having a heart attack. And I was like, huh? Because none of these things are going through my mind. And I go, no, no, I'm clotting. He goes, what's it feel like?

I said, it feels like three elephants on my chest. He goes, keep talking to me. I go, oh, no, here it comes. He's like, what? I go heart attack 101. Here comes the jaw. Here comes the arm. Left arm.

He goes, you might be having a heart attack and clotting. And then I passed out and I was telling Christina, I woke up and there was this nice nurse just standing over me and I just said, am I going home today? She's like, no, you're discharged. Sweet. Did you have a heart attack too? I thankfully didn't. My heart did, it was a, what they basically said is like a cardiac incident.

My heart swelled. It got, it was swollen and that took like five or six days to go down. And then they, the CT scan showed that I had massive pulmonary embolisms covering both clots. Like I thought I had a clot. Yeah. And then they say, you know, you need to call whoever you need to call and have real conversations because the next 48 hours or touch and go and, you know, one of these

clots, anything could happen. You could get a new clot any moment now. They're putting me on IV. Clots could just boom. Shoot up to your brain. Light switch. Yeah. Off.

So I have to call my daughter's mother and have a real talk about, you know, life insurance, wills, all that stuff. And she's like, what the fuck's going on? I'm like, I don't know. I came in for a back surgery. I almost died today. And I had three or four surgeons tell me I should have died. They came in and one of them was crying for me.

I was like, hey, he's crying. I'm going to make you cry. I made him cry. He told me I was his number one case. Jesus. And, you know, it just everything, the problem is everything keeps getting worse when you're in there because if they, they tell me that they have this program that saved my life. If I don't, if I'm in any other hospital, it doesn't happen.

And you just go home with your embolism. I said, man, I would have gone home if I passed this test and called 911 and they were like, no, you wouldn't have. It had been over. Like, it's like you're really lucky. Someone's in here watching over you. This is not like it's bad. And I was like, okay.

Jesus. I'm like, what about my back? Yeah. They're like, fuck your back. Yeah. And they tell me there's a team of fucking hematologists, cardiologists, spinal surgeon, oncologist. I've got an oncologist as well.

I have to see these people all year and I'm getting better. Things are going better, but man, it was there. And, you know, I laid in general population for like eight or nine days because no one thought I was, I was supposed to be there for three days. Yeah. I was. How was Gen Pop? Well, you lay on your back.

I was on my back. So once the, once the clots happened, I was on my, I was in there for a month. Jesus. They also said to me, they go, hey, you know, you could stroke. And I was like, I hadn't even thought of it. Hadn't even thought. I go, stop. I had two rules.

Stop telling me what else could happen. And also don't ever come in this room again and tell me I'm going home tomorrow. Because every day it was a blood test. Something was different. Now we have to make you fast. And then you're going to do blood work, which takes 12 hours. And it's all shit. You didn't even know it.

Hey, do you know what else is possible right now? That's what they're doing. Your intestines might shut off. I'm like, what? Well, then they tell me that because I haven't, I was like Annie, I hadn't shit in like two weeks. And they're like, you need to really shit because they said they had a patient who's, who's abdominals ripped open and, and he had to go back in the hospital because his stomach

ripped apart. You really need to take a shit. Yeah. Take a shit. You should give him the bullets. Yeah. You should give him the bullets. Yeah.

And you guys were so, there was so much love and so much support. So thank you all so much. You have no idea. Thank you for helping me promote this special. Thank you for flowers. Of course. Thank you for real friendship. Of course.

It was such a, I mean, obviously such a surprise when you called me. I remember exactly where I was when I, when I talked to you. I also drugged up. I don't remember the initial one. I know I was texting you and talking to you. When we spoke, we spoke one time. I was in Perth. I was in Perth in Western Australia.

Yeah. And you called me with that out of nowhere. And I was like, hold it. We ended up talking for like almost an hour. Yeah. Yeah. And you were like, you know, super emotional and, and. Yeah.

They told me to call people I love and have real conversations. Yeah. No. I mean, I was, you know, like I said, obviously not expecting that. Yeah. Just out of nowhere. How are you doing? Not good, man.

Not good. No. Yeah. It scared the shit out of me, man. Scared me too. Me too, man. Jen Pop was, it was terrible because I'm in there for eight or nine days and this person on my left will come in and they'll have their thumb operated on and they're gone in three

hours. Yeah. I'm spending the night. You know what I mean? I don't get to see my daughter. I make friends with this lady on this side. This little black lady named Cheryl. After she heard everything going on, she was in there for some surgery for like three days

and after she heard everything going on, just through the curtain. After she goes, how you doing? I said, I'm fine. She's like, you good? I said, I'm good. What's your name? Cheryl. What do you in here for knee surgery?

She had a fuck. She was in there for three or four days, so we were homies. Yeah. But everybody else is rotating out. Yeah. But on the diagonal, and by the way, this is all audio, it's all theater of the mind, as Dan Van Kirk says, who was there with me. Over here on this diagonal is this junkie who's doing the all night long.

By the way, I had a junkie, by the way. You know what I'm talking about? When I first got to the ER. If I could have got up, I would have choked the motherfucker. I couldn't get up, and it's days of him, and then he's yelling at everybody because he needs his morphine. He needs his morphine. That's all they want.

Yeah. And they're like, we've given you. They were yelling it, and mine they go, Scott, you've already gotten it three times. They know. Yeah. And he's like, you're the worst nurse ever. Yeah. And I'm like, how many times have you been in here?

Like a toddler. He's yelling and yelling, and then as soon as they give him the morphine, he's like, thank you, Tom, you're so nice. You're an angel. That other guy, Christine, is a piece of shit, but you're great. Please keep coming. Children do that, too. It's unbelievable.

That's where he is. Yeah. So they tell him, look, man, if the pain's not going away, then we may have to take your foot, and the last step is maggot therapy, right? This is what I'm listening to. This is maggot therapy. The cure to this guy's foot, or it's gone, dude, right? That's how bad it looks.

And I'm Googling shit, and I'm looking at what it looks like. And the next day comes, and he's fired up, and they gave him, I don't know, they gave him a turkey burger or something, and he starts screaming. He said, I told you I wanted the tilapia, and I lost my shit. From my back, I mean, I didn't get up higher than 30 degrees from my back. I said, how the fuck do you know we get tilapia? And it was that moment that I realized, like, I was like, man, I don't know anything the way a junkie knows the system.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This motherfucker, we knew we got specific whitefish on Thursday. Yeah. Wow. It's like a guy's been in jail, like, you know, knows exactly the schedule. Yeah, nothing. It's like a career to gain the system, yeah. It was wild.

His girlfriend came in. They always have a girlfriend, too. And so she starts trying to share the bed. Like, this guy's got a girlfriend? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's trying to, she's trying to share the bed. I put it all together, like, ma'am, you can't get on the bed. And I'm like, okay, she doesn't want to go through the, so she's sharing the bed.

And then I start here, ma'am, you can't take those medications. We have to have them, we'll replace them with what you have. And she's like, no. And I learned that because, again, I thought I was going to be there for three days. Yeah. I brought three days of medication. Sure. And they tell me we have to hold that, but we're going to give you what you have.

We just have to administer. Sure. No problem. She had a fucking problem with it. Yeah. So she, they bring security in and when she sees security, she takes all her pills and downs them on. She took them all and I was like, oh, shit, what's going on out there?

So now if it comes to crime, and they have to call the police and then Kurt comes in and I'm trying to tell him, like, man, down over there, the fucking junkie and his girl. He's, and he doesn't know what to believe because I'm so strung out on the lawn and I told him he had a tail and shit. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, what are you talking? And he's like, so he doesn't know what to believe.

He goes, next thing I know, nine cops roll in and they were fucking like, they were like, we're going to have to take her. I was like, oh, what is happening out there? She's out of her mind. It was crazy out there. Crazy. I never slept. People are coming in because, again, all my index fingers, I just have to recover for

two hours. Let's put my music on. And I'm like, this is day five for me. I want to sleep. Yeah. Yeah. And then when you finally get some moment to rest, someone's like, I'm just here to check your hearing.

Make sure your ears still working. Yes. You're like, why? And they're like, ding, ding. Yeah. All your ears are still good. And like, thanks, man. Yeah.

Hey, I know it's 5 30 in the morning. You're drugged up out of your mind. Yeah. You just almost died. But I'm going to tell you some real important shit right now. There's a lot of medications you're never going to remember with a lot of milligrams and shit. So here we go.

You ready? I'm like, what? No. I'm going to do some respiratory tests right now. Deep breaths. Here we go. Right out of a fresh week. Yeah.

Or even like, I remember when I broke my ankle and I'm fresh out of surgery, remember? And I just opened my eyes and I'm like, all right, here's your crutches. Let's get down to the bathroom. You may vomit on the way. I'm like, oh my God. Can you do a handstand right now? Yeah, give me a second. We'll work up to it.

And they're like, let's get her ass out of here. Yeah. What they want to do is get you out. Get you turned on? Now with you. With you, they're like, we're going to keep him a month. Yeah. After what happened to me.

So that was the other thing. It was, of course, I'm this outlier. So they've got this whole blood, lung, pulmonary thing going at cedars. But I show up with this fucking thing that they haven't dealt with yet. So now I'm a very interesting candidate for them. Not their words, but I become a bit of a case study where they tell me you're not leaving until every person on this team says, okay. It's a box.

And I was like, good. Yeah. Yeah. Because if there's 12 of them and one of them has a problem, I want to talk to that person. Yeah. Exactly. I'm like, what are you seeing? You don't like that.

What don't you like? Yeah. So wait, I don't know much, obviously, about pulmonary embolisms, except for the fact that you hear about them killing people. So what about, how does one get discharged where they go like, all right, it's no longer a threat? Here's what's fucking terrifying, right? So what I didn't know is when you get pulmonary embolisms, they don't have anything that

well, I'll tell you in a second, that really makes them go away. So there's two ways they can make them go away. They tell me that, and I've already had two surgeries, mind you, that they could take a tube that's the size of your pinky, and they stick it in your groin, and they run it up into your lungs, and they can suck them out. And they're like, people are walking the next day. And I was like that, nah, fuck that. But they tell me because of the factor five, that I could brain bleed and be a vegetable.

And I'm like, yeah, well, then we're not like, get that off the fucking list. It's not a possibility. So they're going to treat me the way they've treated patients for the last 60 years, which is blood thinner first through my IV. Then they start sticking it like in your belly, like a, what do you call it, shot? Yes, thank you. And then orally, you take pills, and then that's when you're, once your levels are okay where you can take it orally, you go, but you live with these clots in your lungs.

So your body just rids of them, and it's each person's pace, and it could be up to a year that you have them. So I live with these things in my lungs, and then I just took my first flight here to come down and everything I did good. I'm walking all right. Good. I feel all right. I feel much better.

Obviously, look, I'm here. I was on my back. I know. I was fucking terrified. Terrified. Terrified. Let me ask, where did you film the special? I filmed it at the dynasty.

Oh, dynasty typewriter, right? Dynasty typewriter, Jamie Flam's place, it's fucking beautiful. There's Sandler's shot there, Mark Norman's shot there. It's a great theater. That's awesome. Yeah. And it's out. It's out right now.

You can just go to YouTube, Ryan Sickler's page, subscribe, comment, comment, all that. Share it. Share it with people. Share it with everybody. Check this out, man. God. Justin, I really like your videos, and I hope you continue to do them. And me being blind, please, I'd appreciate you doing them to where I can hear, and I'd

like you to turn the recorder on when you go into the bathroom and let me hear you undo your belt, pull your pants down, set the toilet seat down, and sit down and do a good stream of pee in the water and a good shit. And for me, since I can't see, if you could describe what it looks like in the toilet. So, here's the thing, I thought, I thought if we would be unlucky enough to only find one video from this guy, but thankfully. My name is Bob. I have viewed your explosive diarrhea video, just curious to know where that was at.

I am a blind person, and my computer has speech on it, so that it reads text to me. So anytime I get emails, anytime I go to a web page, and anything that has to do with text, text, window eyes will read it to me. I enjoyed it, and it would have been interesting for you to describe what was in the toilet after you went, but I would love more shit videos from you. I like this is just kind of a fun thing, and I'm just curious to know what gave you the shits like that, and what prompted you to do a dump video. Feel free to call me at 734, and you can email me also at rreatspc.com, check out my

web page, www.southgate, one word, s-o-u-t-o-t, one word, dash m-i-dash-weather.com, I can't use weather. Why is weather in this website? I love weather too. Also, I'm thinking of getting some video equipment, and I would like to get some ideas from people as to what kind. Some of them has good stereo quality on them, and stuff like that. So he wants your shit and piss stuff, but you know what else is really cool?

I can't wait to. He's telling you all this stuff, and then he also goes, be interested to know where you live, just trying to make friends. I've seen a lot of videos on here, shit videos, some are good, and I don't know what the percentage is, but there's a lot that is not good quality, or there's a lot of talking, and the background is not laughing, and I can't hear anything, and I like to hear stuff, and I'm just curious to know what prompts people to do the things that they do. I'm also into aviation videos.

Shitting and flying. If you can shit on a plane, I'll lose my mind. If it had a little bit of a storm out there to get some weather in it. I can't. Listen, he's a great interviewer. That's the biggest disturbing, he asked the right questions. He's so calm in matter of fact, it's just like, and then come over Tuesday, we're going to have tacos and watch a movie.

This is a video response, Halloween, this is a response video to somebody posting about having this shit out of McDonald's. Oh shit, I just learned that he died. What? You guys put that, I didn't know, that's in the description. This guy died. Thanks for adding that. And there's still a lot of videos.

Oh good. But he died happily. Thank God he left the legacy. Which does make me wonder, like, did he upload these to the internet? Why are all the good ones gone? All the heroes leave early. He thinks somebody found this on a hard drive and they're like, the world needs to see this. Like, why are we seeing this is what I'm curious.

How are we seeing this? This should be private, right? He was uploading to YouTube. This was just on YouTube? Yeah. He didn't know he was uploading to YouTube. From 2009. Yeah, maybe he thought he was just attaching them to emails or something.

How did he get a job here? Fuckface. Dude, he did not know what he was doing. He's blind. How does he know he's uploading? Blind. How does he describe what led to this? That's the great question.

He's like, I'm just curious. I want to get to know you. And then if you're interested in my weather page, you can go there as well. I like planes too. I don't want to know about your shit in your piss. Yeah. And if you like to, I like to see a triple seven land. If you have a video of that, just send that too along with your shit video.

You got any airport stuff? Can you shit on a plane? Yeah. A plane and that little tiny one. Oh my God. I just can't imagine being the person that obliges this too. You're like, hold on. There's plenty.

Especially if he's just like, I'll pay value like 20 bucks. But when you really think about it, this man doesn't have sight. Now, I don't know. We don't know. Yeah. If he had, was born without it. So maybe he got to see a few shits and like, you know, pumped them up or, or you really have to appreciate this.

He's just using smell and sound. He gets them off to figure out what he loves. And what is it that drove him immediately to shit? Well, think about those sounds. I mean, the sounds are so unique and specific to shitting. I mean, if you really get some going. They're orchestral. They're definitely orchestral.

He's like, if you're not fucking talking or laughing in the background. He doesn't like that. Have you ever seen the one video? I can't tell you how many times I've rewound it and watched it. It's just, it's like a five second video and it's a naked guy running off a cliff. And once he's out in the air, he shits. Yeah. But have you ever paid attention to how big the splash is when the shit hits the wall?

I've done this. I've scrubbed with it where you watch it come. Because it's enormous. It's enormous. Can we see this video now? I'm sure you can find it. I can't decide if the splash is more impressive than the fucking shit that comes out of his ass.

The shit splash? Yeah, the shit splash. It's really impressive. He runs naked and shits as he's jumping. It's really impressive. And the shit splash looks like a boulder hits the goddamn wall. It's crazy. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I still can't process everything I've heard. Yeah, it's really. I feel like it's so much. It's pretty heavy. It's a request. While he searches for it, check this out. It's a request for audio and then it's like aviation, friendship.

And I like weather too. What did you eat? But also take it seriously. Take it seriously. Don't be fucking around with this. This is what I'm into. I know. I checked out your diarrhea video.

I checked out your diarrhea video. I checked out your diarrhea video. I'd like to know what caused it. Like, what'd you eat? You know. Yeah, he has to go deep on it. I love that he has to know. It's so good.

I need to step up. Oh, here we go. It's going to be this. No, not that one. Oh, yeah. No, not that one. What the fuck? That's way better.

How much? Oh, my God. That's not the one. That's not even the one. I know what you're saying. I planned it. How is that even happening? What the fuck?

How did he time that just perfectly? Yeah. Tom, if this guy can take a shit in a somersault, you can come in space. It's a guy running. He's running from the left side. He jumps. Okay, let me keep looking. Off a cliff.

Keep looking. How did we know this guy died of cancer, by the way, this blind guy? He's got kind of a following. He's got a following. They're like, rip, Bob. He's got merch. Fuck cancer. I'm going to shit and send it to you and upload it.

Shit on cancer. In your honor. Check this out. Really? Yeah. That's the toughest feat right there I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, you look at that callus. You know it's about that thing.

I know it is. Oh. I mean, good. It's like homes. This thing will do anything. No. That don't hurt. Don't hurt.

Does it move that cigarette? Let me see you hit it. See if it's lit. That's pretty cool, right? Well, and his feet are really red and bloated. Isn't that a sign of like gout or diabetes? This guy's probably healthy aside from that callus as I'm guessing. He looks like he's got that Allen Iverson fucking arm band on over there.

So maybe he goes hard on the courts. Maybe that's why his feet are so rough. What do you think his shits are like? Yeah. Bob will lose his mind if this guy sent him an audio clip. His morning coffee cigarette should Bob come to it. He drinks a lot. That's the other thing.

Can we go back to Bob? Yeah, I mean. Is it a sexual thing? Yes. It sounds. It always is. It always is. Is he jerking it to it?

Yes. Here's what Ryan was talking about. Okay, let me see. Yeah, this is it. Look at the guy. Look at the splash. Wow. Look at that.

It's a turd. It should not splash like that. That's great. But it's the height that it's coming from. You're right. It's a heavy turd. And it's bad. And it's a long shit.

Yeah, he's right. I'd never noticed that. Wow. I said, listen, this is what I did in the hospital. I just laid still and framefucked that thing. And I was like, look how big the splash is. I mean, the timing of the whole thing is incredible. Incredible timing.

Yeah, I don't think I could do it. Slow it down, please. I don't think I could do it. He gets in the 90 degree. No, but that is diarrhea, right? It's got to be. I can't be a solider. No, but it's in one piece.

It's kind of half. It's hitting. But it's one solid. It's aerodynamic. You realize how hard he's pushing to make that happen. He's like, there's a lot going on there. But I'm amazed at the body. Because aren't you tensed up jumping off a cliff?

Don't you think it too about the fact when you watch this? Somewhere there's a mother going like, Jesus, that's Kenny. That's Kenny. Yeah. That's Kenny. Yeah. That's my son. Damn it, Kenny.

There he is. That's amazing. He hated reading. Speaking of some, watch my special lefty son. On my YouTube right now. Oh my God. Kenny's definitely going to get more views. Kenny's got so many views.

So many views. Oh my God. I honestly, I think the blind guy, that video is going to unravel itself or reveal itself to me over time. Yeah. I feel like it was such a shock to my system. And I've seen a lot of stuff on YMH. Yeah, you have.

That was like the exemplary YMH video. It was like. Blind guy? Blind guy is like RPC level. My name is Bob. I have viewed your explosive diarrhea video in McDonald's. In McDonald's? Just curious to know where that was at.

Where? I'm from Southgate, Michigan. He's in McDonald's. Yeah. He wants a GPS location. Yeah. Exactly. We're in that like the way, like a nerd who's in like the hand to hand radio and shit.

You know what I mean? Like where am I from? This is like some of my interests. But he's literally being like, I really am a big fan of your, your diarrhea. There's hundreds of these. Zola's on the YouTube page right now. Really? We're going to have a lot prepped over the next few years.

Thank God. Thank God. But he's, but he knows a lot of information already. The diarrhea was at McDonald's. It was from McDonald's. And that's not enough. He needs to know what specific entree did you order. And which McDonald's were you at?

A lot of McDonald's out there. What's that do for him? That's what makes his Schmechelhardt is to know. He likes sitting for me. I mean, look, this guy loves weather and aviation. He likes GPS. You know? It's amazing.

In aviation, you're not just like, oh, that's a plane. You're like, oh, that's a 737. She needs the coat. Yeah. Wow. Fascinating. I wonder if those pylons are instrument rated. Amazing.

What's that tail speed like? He could ask that for the ass too. And also Cybert, does McDonald's, does McDonald's give you guys diarrhea? I mean, it depends, right? Yeah. It doesn't ever. It just, it does nothing to me. Nothing?

It makes, it makes me go from feeling hungry to feeling sick. That's diarrhea. That's doing something to you. My body's like, no. Yeah. It just shoots it right out like that cliff. Bob would lose his mind if we set him that. Listen, McDonald's is my go-to.

I'm going to have to give him a little bit of credit. I always thought it was the shitty food and the grease and everything in it because if I am backed up and I'm on the road, I'll go get a McDonald's double cheeseburger. I'll shit in 15 minutes. You're kidding. 15 minutes. Like, it'll be growling at me before I'm done eating the fucking thing. But after this gut test, it says that I shouldn't fuck with red meat or potatoes.

And I'm like, maybe that's what it is. Yeah, maybe. It's not McDonald's per se. To his point. That's right. He's like, is it one of your. He might want to know. Your dietary restrictions versus the restaurant.

Wow. That's a whole different thing. You took a gut test? Yeah. And you shouldn't have red meat? Yeah. Potatoes, couscous, thank God. Yeah.

I never liked it anyway. Here's another one. It was weird. Peppers, green peppers. Yeah, that's common. It's like what? Is that right? Yeah, yeah.

Makes me die real. Really? Peppers. No, that causes. Green peppers. Like digestive flare ups for people or peppers. Garlic does it for people. Onions.

Thank God. None of that. Eggplant. If it's a crab, I would have been like, I don't give a shit. I'm eating that. So are you going to stay away from all those things then? I'd stayed away from red meat. Look, when I get red meat, usually the truth is if I'm out with you, I'll get a steak, okay?

I don't really go get steaks anywhere else. I'm not a steak guy. I usually I'll have a couple of year maybe, you know what I mean? But I like a burger. I like burger. That's where my red meat comes from. Yeah, I like burger too. So I stopped in and out and all that.

And I stopped red meat potatoes for six months. And when I went and got, I had to get all these extensive blood tests to do the surgery just to almost die. I found out that my cholesterol was lower than it had been. Oh, wow. And so I was like, oh shit, this is this might really be working. So I'm trying to just eat off my superfoods list and try to get rid of my avoid foods and see how that does with my system.

Nice. And then you audio yourself shitting and send it to him. What's his name? Bob. I'm sorry, it's Bob. I wonder if he could hear the difference in your diet. Bob would know. Bob's hearing is probably.

So attuned. Well, Bob would know. That he'd be like, Ryan, you've cut out red meat. There's a thing too, though, and you might relate to this, but I know you're not supposed to have explosive diarrhea, but when you make it and you're there, I don't know that there's a better feeling to get that out of you. To get it out of you. I mean, the below the belly button, like, oh my God, run into it.

That was one of the things too that I really, the little things you take for granted, when I put that suppository up my ass, within 15 minutes the second time, I was like, oh my God. Didn't we talk? We talked about that. Yeah, I asked you about it. You made me do it. You let go for it.

And I took my middle finger and went all over. I can't believe you did it yourself. I had them do it. Yeah, me either. I said, are you going to do it? And she goes, mm-mm. And she lubed it up, like absurdly lubed it up and gave it to me. It's crazy that they made you do it.

Yeah, I had to do it. That's what they're supposed to do. That's Cedar Sinai. I had to do it myself. They don't even, they don't even put the pellets in your ass for you. And then it hits me. And that was the moment I realized, oh, all my life I've been able to get up and sprint to the toilet and I was like, oh my God, I had to do that long roll and shit and then

slowly sit up and wait to see if you're not too dizzy to fall down. They say, tell you, they tell you not to shit on the floor. I'm like, I'm not trying to shit on your floor. It's a lot of paperwork. She said, assholes. They were honest. Oh my God. Check this out.

Imagine doing this podcast right here. Thank you for watching. Thank you for being part of the Houston community and culture. And what could you do? I got so quiet in here. No, no. Get the fuck out of here. He just sits there, he knows what he's got.

He just gets his phone out. He's like, I got to record this shit. No, move, kid. He's just concerned about getting it on video. You got it on video. Oh my God. What the fuck just happened? Holy shit, dude.

I hate that. I don't ever want to see that again. That was horrible. And it pushed right up out of me. I was not expecting that at all. Yeah. I don't even see it coming. No.

And this kid's cool as a cucumber. He's like, what? Yeah. And it didn't push in over them or anything. No, they got lucky. They are. You talk about lucky as fuck. Yeah.

Yeah, man. I mean, look at this thing. That's so quiet in here. It's just. How's it like? And that driver just escaped like a double homicide charge. Yeah, dude. Like just barely.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean. And from like, ha, ha, ha, to like, you're going to do two life sentences. Two life sentences. You're getting in prison. Jesus Christ. Dude, that kid's not nearly as fucked up as he should be.

He's got a smile on his face where he knows exactly what he has. Yeah. I'm telling you, he knows it. He's like, we're not. He knows instantly. We're not dead. Yeah. I'm not hurt.

Look at a smile on his face. That's why he gets his phone. He doesn't even ask his friend if he's OK. No. He's got a fucking clip that he's going to make money off of. He knows. I see you 85. I see you 85.

Was it 85? I can't. 05. I see you 05. Yeah. 05. Is that a booboo shirt? It is a booboo shirt.

When was this filmed? I don't know. Was this in 05? Oh, man. Man. Dude, that was nice. That is pretty nice. Gnarly.

What the fuck was that guy doing that he hooked a right turn like that? Was he trying to flip a bitch super fast? I'm guessing this is a stolen vehicle or something. What the fuck did he do? Yeah. I mean, he completely lost control. He got T-boned and got out of control. Oh, he got T-boned.

Oh. Wow. He did? Where'd he get hit? Yeah, I don't see that. You could see the other car. Really? Can we see it again?

It's the white car. If you go back a little bit. Oh, wow. God damn. I'm going to get you. OK. Look in your left corner up here. I got so quiet in here.

Oh, yeah, he did. Wow. Holy shit. That's not a stolen vehicle. It still might be. I mean, it could be. It still might be. Can you imagine getting T-boned and then almost killing two people?

So it's actually the car in the white vehicle. Yeah. It's saying their prayers. Yeah. Because that would have been manslaughter. And then the damage to this restaurant or whatever. Oh my God. Yeah.

That's a night. That accident right there is fucking terrible. Terrible. Six figures. Six figures. They're so lucky. So lucky, those kids. They don't even realize.

Oh. How about this one? Damn. No. No. No, this isn't. Oh, he bounced. He bounced.

He bounced. His head bounced. His head bounced. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. Tom, I hate this. Let me see it again though.

I hate it. Oh, God. Oh. God. Why would he stand on the narrow bar? He's too fat to do that. He's way too fat. All bad ideas.

Everything about this was a bad idea. His diet, everything. All the way back to all of it. But I bet Bob would be like, this guy could take a shit. This guy could shit for me. Bob wants his shit. Tell me what you ate before you experienced your concussion. You've had diarrhea for a year since your concussion, right?

Oh my God. God, Tom, you're just traumatizing me today. This one's great. No, it's not. This one is great. Oh, no. No. That's not.

You got it. No. You got it. No, you don't. You do not got it. No, you don't. This is my favorite one. There you go.

You can't be scared. Just roll with it. I'm scared. I'm not even in there. Don't talk about. Hell yeah. So you're doing good. That's huge.

Come down. Wait, I'm in the way. All right. Come down. I'm begging you. Somebody help. This is crushing him alive. He's begging people.

The machine's not moving. We in the way. I don't know how to work the machine. Not my problem. They're walking away. Please. How can it be this? We're fucking around.

Kenny. There's Kenny. It's Kenny. It's Kenny. It's Kenny. It's Kenny. It's Kenny. It's Kenny.

It's Kenny. It's Kenny. It's Kenny. It's Kenny. It's Kenny. It's Kenny. It's a lawn chair. How heavy could that be?

How heavy is this thing? It's not a fridge. I thought it was a fridge. I know. It's a chair. It's a fucking lawn chair. You pussy. You pussy.

Yeah. Even I could handle that. They were excruciating screams though. But that's why they're laughing at him. It gets higher. That's why they're clowning him. Because they're like, come on, you pussy. It's a lawn chair.

You're fine. Kelly's a fucking bitch. Yeah. What a fucking bitch, dude. Pussy. Pussy. God damn, dude. Such a good one.

Thanks for traumatizing us. No problem. Oh, no. I don't like it. I don't like this shit. This shit ends poorly. Watch this. Oh, look at him being whipped.

Oh, God. He's already out. He's already out. He's still on though. He's still on. Get it. Yeah. How is he staying on?

He's dead. How is he? He's dead. His legs are locked in, but he's dead. He is on that motherfucker. Look at that body just flailing. There's no way. He's definitely unconscious at the very beginning.

Oh, for sure. For sure, dude. He might be the greatest boy ever. That's fucking amazing. Babe, his neck and his back smacked all of it. It's all done. It's all done. Did he please say he's not dead?

Is he not dead? Is he dead? Hold on. Let's see. Tempting to ride a bull, getting tossed all around. Yeah, later died. Oh, no. No.

Here's the thing. I don't think this place is like, we didn't stick to the rules on this one. They're just like, whatever. Oh, my God. It's not like a dummy. He looks like a dummy. Oh, man. That was terrible.

That was terrible. Why am I laughing? It's horrible and hilarious. It's so bad. Oh, man. And it was great, also. It's so bad. I bet you they gave him the medal anyway.

To his mom. It's your son won the... They laid the trophy in his lap in the wheelchair. You're the champ. He's like, oh. Wait. Oh, my God. He's got a plaque on the wall.

I know you died, but it was a hell of a ride, man. Wait, can you just start it again? How long is it? I really do want to know how long it is. Why are his legs locked in? They're not supposed to be locked in. You're supposed to be able to fall off. Yeah, I don't think this is a regulation rodeo.

They're not sanctioned? Were you saying this is an un-sanctioned video? Oh, we don't play un-sanctioned videos now. Hold on. So he's holding on. Let's see. When does he die? Like, I feel like it's right back.

Look at him. Right here. Now he's still alive. Oh, he's gone. He's gone. His hands are gone. Oh, shit. He's over eight seconds already.

It's like they took a nail gun through his legs. Stapled on. Yeah, he should be able to fall off. That body is just completely... Oh, god. Oh, god. It's a rag doll. Yeah, this is terrible.

Oh, god. He's so dead. His back is arched like this. Oh, they're just... Oh, god. Third vertebrae. Fourth vertebrae. Fifth vertebrae.

Imagine showing this to your fucking spinal surgery. He's like, oh, god. He'd be up now faster than I was. All right. He'd be like, you're going home. You're going home. I don't have a 535. Oh, god damn.

He'd be out quicker to me for sure. Oh, my god. The music keeps... Yeah. It's playing. It's the most fun. Everybody's having fun. Everybody's having fun.

Just do something. There's little children with balloons, right? Go grab some turtles, bro. We're going to take care of this real quick. I bet the thing is, too, that he was probably like, shouldn't my legs be able to come out? They're like, that's a better ride. We just nail them into the horse or the bull here. Oh, fuck, man.

Jesus Christ. Oh, shit. And how do you stop that? How do you stop? How do humans go... They're going to have to get that bull into the pen. Oh, there's no stopping. And then get that motherfucker over there.

Someone's going to have to shoot this thing in the head. Take a leg off or something like that. They're going to have to. I don't know how you stop that. That's a crease. Sorry, man. That bull is a real asshole. We didn't realize he would be that pissed.

Okay. Thanks. Jesus Christ. That poor fucking guy. Oh. Definitely. That's not survived. He's dead.

He's dead. He's dead. Look, I'm dead. I brought this. He's dead. A washcloth I brought here. Yeah. It's for you.

A washcloth. Did you see what your friend brought? Yes. My friend brought a washcloth. Dirt bag. Jesus. Seriously, for a second. What do you shower with?

You're not one of those assholes that just soaps your hands. Oh my God. Yeah. Not a loofa or anything. I've used them before, but not like regularly, no. Never. Wait a minute. You're filthy.

I guess. I learned this. I don't understand. Well, let me tell you something. Let me add. I am a poor, by the way. And you've been using washcloth your whole life? Whole life.

And hold on. Were you raised in extreme wealth? No. So I'm saying not at all. Oh. No. You were, though, extreme? No.

No. Right. No. So where did you develop the extreme wealth habit? No. It's not. I'm just saying that I'm trying to align washcloths with poverty. I'm trying to align washcloths with poverty.

I'm trying to align washcloths with poverty. I'm trying to align washcloths with poverty. Listen, I'm not saying you're wrong about that. I'm just saying. I'm saying that I think that the poor are cleaner. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.

And also, I don't like this type of washcloth. I like a thinner one. Okay. Like almost like rag. Yeah. Yeah. You soap it up really good. And it scrubs.

It really scrubs. And then you get, you really scrub with it. And you can really wash in your hand. The way you feel using your hand on your body, I feel better with a layer in between. And I can really get up into my pits. Hold on. And then I like the loofah after that, too. Oh, so you really scrub your skin off.

But then don't you feel like you can't really get into your B-hole crack with the washcloth? I feel like when I use my hand, I can really feel what's in there. And I can really, you know what I mean? Get in there. Are you going up your hole? Not up my hole, but in my butt crack. How can you tell if you're really getting in there with that barrier? I feel like it's a barrier.

You're just assuming it's clean, but you don't know. When you shit, do you wipe with toilet paper or your hand? There's a barrier. I use a bidet. Fair enough, but there's no wiping at all anymore? No, and then I wipe the water off of my asshole. With what? Your hand?

No, the toilet paper. But I know it's clean by then. I'm just saying, because I've tried this washcloth, I just feel like it's a hindrance. And I don't know that I'm really getting into my nooks and crannies. I'm getting into my nooks. I don't know how, you know. And do you do the thing where, like people told me, because this was all news to me, everything was, I mean, so many pores reached out to me. But you start, you do your face first, right?

They say you use it on your face first, and then you kind of work your way down, and then you just do your asshole last. Yeah. You do your, I mean, I'll go dick and balls, feet, asshole last. You wash your feet? Oh, wow. What? You wash your feet? Yeah.

Seriously? Every time? This is why people say I take long showers, because you are filthy. Yeah. You wash your legs and stuff? Yeah. Behind your knees? Like the back of your knees?

Yeah. In between my toes, you don't wash the lint out in between his mouth. Are you fucking serious? You don't wash it between your toes? Jesus Christ. Hold on. I love how you're saying, no, he doesn't. Who's got time for that?

And then also, do you pee in the shower, or do you not pee in the shower? I do pee in the shower. Thank God. Yeah. So, wait first, the doff? Yes. Do you wash your legs and feet? Usually?

I do the trickle down method. Okay. And then Zolo? Same here. Yeah. Got to flow down? Yeah. And then Chad?

I do wash my legs and feet. You do? Regularly? Yeah. Okay. And then any? 100%. 100%.

Yeah. And you use a washcloth too? No, I actually don't. No, no. I use a luffa. I use a luffa. Okay. And then Chad, you use one too?

Yeah, luffa. Sometimes washcloth. Oh my God. I'm sitting there scrubbing or anything. I'm just, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I got you.

But then also, the luffa is how you get your asshole clean. That's how you dig in there. I have one. I've tried it before. Put a finger up there a little bit. And then what do you do with it? Just rinse it in the water? Yeah, rinse it out and hang it up.

Hang it up. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. You put a luffa in your dirty asshole and you just rinse and then you hang it up. It's in the damp shower environment and then that's filth from yesterday. There's shit flecks in there. And then you're putting shit flecks back again onto your body.

No. This is why I think this is filthy. I have a small one that is dedicated to your asshole. So then you're reapplying the shit flecks from yesterday's ones. No, because then you apply soap and you soap it up and you're getting rid of the shit flecks. So hold on. So this dish towel that you're using to clean yourself. And then it's a wet ball of yuck when you're done showering.

And then what do you do with it? You just throw it in the washing machine straight away. What do you do? No, I wring it out first and let it air dry so it doesn't stink and then I throw it in the hamper. It's just, it's too much work. Okay. I just don't.

I can't believe that this many people wash their legs and feet. You don't wash the bottoms of your feet until you work out and shit though. Yeah. But I'm standing in soapy water. Yeah, it's enough. With the youth that also has piss in it. Yeah. Piss is very sterile.

Clean. It kills the bacteria. Yeah. Piss is sterile. I can tell you the only time I've ever washed my feet is if there's like, if I was like in mud or something where it's like, there's something. But like if it's from socks and shoes, sweaty feet, you don't just walk. I mean standing in soapy water.

I'm like, they're clean. But his feet smell like nothing. Like he's not smelly. Don't you worry that maybe you're over cleansing your skin? Do you have dry skin? Mm-mm. I have soft skin. Beautiful skin.

Do you lotion? A little bit. I'll lotion a little bit. My elbows and tattoos and things, I'll lotion. I'll lotion. I bet this lady lotions. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. God damn.

Oh my God. Oh God. You alright? Yeah. That takes your breath away. God. Oh, that takes your breath away. Oh goodness.

Poor lady. Oh boy. Oh my goodness. That takes your breath away. Did you feel it all crack? Yeah. That's what I'm saying? Yeah.

What's a shock? I heard it. Did you? Oh yeah. I did. Oh, that's a shocker. So we got an email about this one. No.

Yeah. Jeans, I have some insight on some of the chiropractic adjustment video, particularly the woman in the orange shirt who keeps repeating herself after that quack almost yanks her head off. In my shit-stirring opinion, that woman could be experiencing the first stages of a stroke. I have not one, but two family members who have had strokes after chiropractic adjustments. Keep them high and tight, Chomo. Then he signs off.

Love. Nick. That takes your breath away. Yeah. That takes your breath away. Still kicking too. See how it works? Yeah, it's pretty good.

It's pretty good. That's pretty good. How does it feel? It feels good. Feels good? Yeah. Aw, yeah. It's not.

No, it's not. She's waddling like a penguin. Yeah, that's real good. She's sweating. Look at that ring of sweat. That neck is all red. Look at that. He yanked his shit out.

Yeah. Have you ever had that done? I haven't had that one done. No. You probably have, right? Not one like that where they rip your head off. No. No, no, no.

Mine's more of like a twist. Twist this way and twist that way. I have a guy that does it. It's called a Y-Strap. They call it. It's a strap that goes under. Yeah, a similar idea, at least. Yeah, there's this Houston chiropractor that I used to watch videos.

And he's the guy that started with the towel. And he was fucking right now. He'd be like, and you'd be talking, you know? He'd be like, yes. And he'd be like, uh-huh. And he'd just yank that shit that he'd do the knee check. And he'd be like, all right. Get the fuck out of here.

How'd you like that Y-Strap adjustment? I liked it. The one he does though, which is a little different than this, they lock you in position here. So when they pull, your body doesn't go. When he pulls, your body will come with it so that it's not so fucking that. Give you a stroke, you know? I don't know if I want that done. I've had a back-crack that I enjoyed before, but I don't know about this shit.

I don't know about the towel, too. He wrapped his towel right in there. That seems suspect. Who's doing it? Who's Bruce? I guess, like, you know. Some little fucking Disney beach towel. Like, is this professional?

Oh, that takes your breath away. I trust no human to do that to me. We got an update on the barista, too. Yes, of course. So this is the barista just so you know what we're talking about. She made a new nose ring, it says. And it looks like our friend. All right.

It's time to address the nose ring drama. If you haven't seen my latest video where I made this new nose ring right here, people are essentially calling me every name under the sun because I had the rice addler on my jacket. God, what? So I need to tell you guys a little something about me. And you can call me crazy. You can call me whatever you'd like, any name under the sun.

We will. But I'm very in tune with my past and my past lives and lifetimes that I really supported. There's a squishmallow in the background. I still have to be a very infamous one. So me offering myself was one of the first memories I had from that lifetime. It came to me when I was five in my nightmares. You can see right where I shot myself, too. That and just so many other things throughout my life have connected me to my past.

And you can go say, oh, go get on your meds again, you nutter. I've been on so many meds and none of them have changed what I saw when I was five. Yeah. So here's the email. It says, hey, guys, I work at the dispensary where the Hitler barista used to shop. He used to buy thousands of milligrams of edibles in full Nazi regime swag and barely spoke to us. Rumors got out that he was Hitler. We went on a deep dive through his social media. We find out from a past boyfriend on TikTok that he has an egg fetish,

meaning that he likes to shove eggs up his ass and then push them out. I have no proof. And for the life of me, I cannot find any of the fetish videos online. His real name, I don't know if we should say his real name. No, let's not. He lives in Denver. Well, there you go, Denver. If anyone can find these guys, it's you guys.

Thanks for all the laughs, Kelly. Wow. Well, you know, I always wonder when people believe in past lives, they're always famous people. Not everybody can have been famous in a past life. That's a great fucking point. You know, Barry Gregory, you know, just a fucking cobbler. Or just a peasant. Yeah, I just don't work with belts.

Yeah, just a regular Joe. You're right. Not everybody gets to be here. Yeah, everybody has to be somebody's celebrity for the past. That's great. And this is the other thing. I don't know if, Ryan, if you know this, but Christina finally put it out there that she, you know, she has a tramp stamp. So stupid.

You do have one? It's so awful. I got it in the 90s when I was on Road Rules. And it's supposed to be a Chinese dragon, but it looks like the low and brow symbol or a juggalo tattoo. Some people are saying. I'm trying to find. It's so bad. The original.

So I'm deciding whether or not I'm going to just remove it or go full hog and just convert it into something cooler. That's what I did. I had one removed enough that you couldn't see and then did a cordless leave. Oh, shit. But there's a. That's my shitty tattoo. That's your actual tattoo? That's her actual.

That's your skin. And that's not just. No, that's me. That's my skin. A real human being. That's supposed to be a what? A dragon. It's terrible.

And this girl in like Norway, didn't it was in Norway or some Nordic country. It was like, I have the same one because I just literally pointed to a wall. I'll do that. So now we're trying to get people to send in their, like, especially poor ones. Yeah, like their shitty tramp stamps. So this first one here says, say hello to the ass fairy. My very first tattoo at 18. And my dad is the one who took me to the appointment.

It was an instant regret. Keep it high and tight. Mercedes. Whoa. Whoa, dad. Yeah. That's pretty big. That's really big.

That's big. It's terrible. It's a fairy. What's worse, coming with your dad or having your dad drive you to your. What? What? You're definitely coming with your dad. Okay.

It's definitely worse. I mean, as a girl, having your dad take you to get a tramp stamp. I think it's not as bad as coming with him. That's true. Because how are you coming with him? So. No, we were talking about. I had to wear my mom's at, who was it that, was it Chad Daniels?

Someone had inherited a bunch of porn. Allie McCofsky's dad. Allie McCofsky. Her father had inherited a bunch of porn from his father. It was like old timey first gen porn. And it's basically like, I was like, oh, so like your dad jerked off to the same stuff that his dad jerked off to. How cool.

How weird that is. Like generational jerk, you know? And then we started talking about like coming with your dad or like. Coming. And then the stripper wrote in, she was like, I've had a lot of fathers and sons at the same time and some of them have come at the same time. Like getting lap dance and stuff. Yeah.

So fucked up. So fucked up. Here's the next one. Hold on. I know Ryan's got a story. Well, my neighbor, my neighbor Jen also has a tramp stamp and she was at a bar. She's in her 30s and this younger 20 something comes up to her and she's leaning forward at the bar in her tramp stamp show and he goes, oh, I see you got the little tattoo back

there. She goes, he goes, it's in the cool time stamp. And she goes, you mean tramp stamp? And he goes, nah, I mean time stamp. And then that's when she realized no one's getting these anymore. You know what I mean? Oh, right. It's a literal time stamp.

You said it right from the beginning in the 90s. You know what else? You know the tramp stamp for dudes was barbed wire. Oh, we love barbed wire. There's nobody getting barbed wire or that razor shit. I got a cousin who has that and that looks pretty cool. Barbed wire. That was so good.

Do you have any dudes that have tramp stamps? Yeah, those come in too. It's almost an even split. It's really funny. It's disturbing. It's disturbing. It's disturbing. Hey gang, hope I'm not too late.

My buddy has easily the hottest tramp stamp in New England. If Christina decides to cover hers, I hope she uses this for inspiration. He explained it to me. It's a mythical creature from a folktale, the great serpent of Casco Bay. Spooky and equally sexy. Here we go. I get nervous. Oh no.

Dude. No. Well, okay. Here's the good news. It's actually, I think, a solid tattoo. It's just the placement that's kind of effeminate. It's not a bad tattoo. No, it's not a bad artist, I guess.

You're not like, what is that? But it is kind of like, why would you do that, right? I mean, the up and down in the water is like. The blue water. Yeah. It's blue. I mean, imagine if you meet this guy and he takes off his shirt and you're like, oh shit. We're going to put you on the shirts team this week.

Yeah. We'll be skins. You play with the shirts. That's rough, man. That is rough. And that's also. I think they got better. His wrist looked cooler.

Yeah. Still, that's not a quick tattoo. No. It's been there for a while and halfway in, if you're like, what am I doing? You're done. It's too late. He's halfway through the serpent. We'll do the second session tomorrow.

He's come back tomorrow. He did. He had to do multiple sit-ups. You're right. Definitely. Shit. Hi, y'all. Here's your live laugh love tramp stamp.

I got this when I was 18. My girlfriend at the time wanted matching tattoos. I refused to get anything she wanted. We agreed on one single star, the red one. We broke up. I had this bright idea. It also never got finished. There was supposed to be a purple star at the end since I'm one of the gays.

I couldn't handle the pain, so I told the artist to stop. Courtney. Let's see. Courtney is a gays. Oh, no. That is a disaster. That's terrible. That is terrible.

That's terrible. That might be the worst thing I've seen. That sucks. I mean, the stars are terrible. The colors are terrible. The penmanship, like the actual writing is dog shit. This is fucking terrible. It looks like a Sharpie.

My kid did this. This is terrible. It looks like Special Olympics tattoo. It looks bad. You've got to judge it on a different scale. This is good for one of them. It's like super bad. Live well.

No, my nephew with Down syndrome did this. That's good. It's really good. That is so bad. Love much. Courtney, we've got to send something to Courtney. This is the absolute worst thing I've ever seen. This is something to cover it up.

Jesus. If we write that down, we've got to reach out to her. Oh, man. This poor person. This is garbage. Okay, here's another one. Here is my girlfriend Lisa's Tramp Stamp all the way from Ireland. In my opinion, it can't get any worse.

Thanks, Ben. My hands are sweating. No. ACDC, large, too. She's got nice skin. Really nice skin. How much cum has been on that ACDC? A lot of bends, I hope.

Oh, my gosh. ACDC. Now, okay, but to her credit, it's a solid band. It's a timeless band. Timeless. It's not like she got, you know... It's better than this bullshit. I'll tell you that.

Yeah. It's not like Imagine Dragons or whatever, you know, or Tub Thumper by Chumbawamba. She got like a pretty timeless... It still looks a little sharpie. A little. It's not crisp. It's not crisp. It's not crisp.

Yeah. The thing is, the last thing we saw was so fucking bad. Silt a little bit. You know what I mean? Early, the Live Laugh Love was so bad, it looks like Picasso did this. You're right. Coming off the heels of that. This is a masterpiece.

Well, I'm no expert in tattoos, but isn't it hard to shade in color? Like, doesn't color fade really easily? Isn't that supposed to be more of a bolt in the middle? Yeah, so it's supposed to be a lightning bolt. What do you mean more of? What do you think it is? I don't know what it is. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's not good. Yeah, look at that. That's not good. Yeah. It's not crisp. I feel like that tattoo artist was like, I know what it looks like.

Yeah. From memory. I know what it looks like. I've done a hundred of these. You see, my early work kind of sucked, but I got way better. It does not look like that, eh? No, it doesn't. It doesn't at all.

No. Oh, man. This is somebody just getting into the best at this one. Just break it in. Oh, shit. All right. Last one. Hey, mommies.

I'm a tattoo artist. This dude hit me up recently looking for a Margaritaville Tramp Stamp. I said, it's going to have to be pretty big. And he said he wanted it wall to wall. I told him, I'm not going to tell you to get this tattoo. But if you want it, I would really love to be the one who does it so I can send it to Tom and Christina. I know you guys love Margaritaville and lower back tats.

We finished the outline, then the clock struck five and we had to start drinking. So, stay tuned for the color in a few weeks. Holy shit. What is this going to be? No. And they're going to color it in. First of all, best tattoo. You've seen so far.

Yeah. But holy shit. Solid line work. I mean. Look at the shadow behind the letters. Got a shadow drop on it. And you got to be in sixth gear as far as how much you love Margaritaville. I mean, you got to be.

You better be. You got to be your. You're all in. Yeah. Can you imagine if you're like, I'm kind of into it? No. I like that one song he's got. What's it called?

Cheeseburger one. This is your tats. This is your tats. This is your tats. This is your tats. This is your tats. And it's going to be all color. This is your identity.

Oh my God. The parrot is so big too. It's okay. That's almost halfway up his back. But here's the lower back on him. Man, it's just. It's too feminine. It is.

Look, honestly, okay. Put that on your chest. This tattoo is, yeah. It's so, it's actually really technically well done. Like you said, it's a good tattoo, but it's so like a corny theme. If you put it like a gangster shit, like Margaritaville. Yeah. And like, you know what I mean?

When the chicks would respect you. Then I'd be like, that's really fucking dope. Salt. Salt. Salt. Then it changes. But the placement. Yeah.

God damn. It's definitely questionable. All right. Well, it's that time. These were amazing. You ready? She's been so excited. I'm so pumped.

Back. We're back. We're back. Dude, sleep with these on. On. Now, I sleep with lights off, TV off, but everything in my face does not come out. Everything stays in. All I know when it comes out is this.

So, yeah. That's it. Thank you. Thank you. It's a lot of shit in her face. It's a lot of shit in her face. I think that's that girl I met after that show that one time and fucking with you and what was it?

Victorville or whatever that was. That's a girl. Look at her. Yeah. Good luck. Good luck to you. Good luck. You know, I think she's pretty.

She's very pretty. She's definitely attractive, for sure. She's very pretty. She's got some not great tats from what I can see. Yeah, hers aren't good either. That thing on her throat looks like a kid drew it. Whatever the fuck that's supposed to be. What is it that I'm hearing jingle jangle, the lip thing?

Her face move? Like, is it all rings and shit? Yeah. What is that on the throat? Is that supposed to be like a club? Yeah. What is that? That's terrible.

A spade or something? Yeah. Man. Warning to all guys, do not trade sexy pictures with women. They will blackmail you. They will ask you for money. Where are you getting them? They will show those pictures to your family, to your friends, to your wife, girlfriend,

whoever. Okay, they will blackmail you. Do not share sexy pictures. Don't share them. He got caught sharing sexy pictures. Did she share those sexy pictures? Look at his teeth. Look at his hair.

He looks like he's got a bullet hole in his fucking head. Who's he sharing them with? Imagine to the woman who's like, I got these pics of you now, Bob. Yeah. I'm gonna show your wife. He's like, oh shit. All right, I'll send you the 40 bucks. 40 bucks.

Oh, here he is. So concludes another birthday. The big 7-0. I'm really happy because at least three people guessed me at 40 years old today. I sure miss 69. See, okay. So I've been doing a deep dive on David Gould 1735 or whatever his name is. This is a real dive.

It's a real dive. You're diving on here. I've been on a deep dive. And this is what he does. Like he kind of ropes you in with somewhat normal stuff and then he'll always purve it out somehow. Like he can't just be like, hey, it's my birthday, ladies. I'm 78.

I'm sure Miss 69. Oh. And he always has to mess up what could have been a normal talk. Do you know what I mean? It makes it gross. Like sexy dad jokes. Yeah. He always makes me feel icky.

Do you have any more of David Gould on top? They're coming. Yeah, they're coming. They're coming. That's what David Gould was saying. Hi. Let's prepare a bath together. I just washed out the tub with some bleach and scrubbed it all around.

So that is all set and ready. But before we go any further in the bathroom, we need to set up the bedroom. I have my pajamas here. This is a Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild shirt and here's the back. Thanks for showing me that with some plain black shorts and I always wear socks because they help with temperature control. And then I have my head turbine. Once I come out of the bath, I'll be spraying on some sweet breeze body mist and I'll apply

some winter cherry blossom. Can you just get the shit all together and pick it up one at a time? Honey caramel lotion on my eyes and lips. Damn. How much? Next, it's time to take off some of our jewelry and accessories. She's giving you a tutorial. The flower and the earrings.

She washes in between her toes. Definitely. Let's see if there's a washcloth. Takeout. She fucking bleached the tub first. Nice and gentle. That's a lot. Ta-da.

Take off our bracelets. I like to do it all at once, so grab them up there and just yank them off. Man. Cool fucking. Grab them and yank them off. I never even thought of that. She's so satisfying. What a technique.

This has like four minutes left. What the fuck am I watching? Four minutes left of this shit. You don't enjoy a four minute bath prep video? Jesus Christ. Who the fuck wants to watch this? This is for people who don't know how to take a bath. She's giving you a fucking tutorial.

Do you take baths? Scrub through it. I sometimes do. Very rarely. Do you? Very rarely. I've done it before. Yeah.

I've done it not at home. I've done it in hotels before. That's the worst place to do them. You think so? I'll load it with cum. You think they're scrubbing that every time? No, they're half ass in that for sure. Half ass.

They got a mop and a swiffer just going in there like this. I'm done. I'm done. It's white. People die in those tubs and stuff all the time. Okay. Next one. I want to say thank you to all of the women that showed interest in being my husband's

third wife. Thank you so much. We got a great large amount of women. I didn't expect it is taking a lot of time. I'm going through the list. I'm going to pick a few and then I'm going to present them to my husband and inshallah we'll go from there. So be patient with us.

I promise we will respond to all of you. And thank you so much. You're welcome. I'm excited to meet you inshallah. She's been fantastic. She's been fantastic. This is awesome. Well, I thought you would like her.

I like her a lot. She kept posting these videos and then it turned into like why I love to serve my husband and why Islam is the best and all that and then she disappeared. Oh. Disappeared. Yeah. Propaganda. Yeah.

Because these are like propaganda. She's so happy though. She's joyful. She's fired up. That's what I'm saying. She's like trying to convince. A lot of great options here. See I think this is.

So we'll get back to all of you inshallah. Yeah. This is why we're like putting a ban on TikTok in the West because of propaganda. Yeah. TikTok's about to go bye bye. You know that. Is it real? Well, I mean the government said that if they don't sell it, it's going to go away.

Yeah. Yeah. Forcing them to sell it. Yeah. Because this kind of shit leaking into the West. I mean literally. That's not why though. Well no, it's many.

It's some of it. Security. Yeah. But what is that? It's information that they're stealing. And propaganda. Okay. Inshallah.

Inshallah. Bullshit like this. Inshallah. Come to North Korea. It's nice over here. She doesn't think we've been to the moon. She doesn't think we've been to the moon. I'm listening.

Okay. Wait. She doesn't believe we've been to the moon. I do believe we've been to the moon and that's what made us number one against the goddamn Ruskies. Okay. No. America number one.

I am. Little bit mentally lidardated. What? What? What do you mean what? One minute's time. Do you just say his name? Little bit mentally lidarded.

I got it that time. How did I not get it from the first time? I might be a little buzzly. Yeah. I was gonna say. If you just hear the audio, it's easier I think. I am. Little bit mentally lidardated.

Mentally retarded. Yeah. It's a good one. That's fine. That's why I didn't want you people to know. Here's David Gold again. That I do not look like Bill Gates. Why do you say, keep saying, I look like Bill Gates?

This guy's really into one of those. That is money. So apparently they're like, has somebody commented that he looks like Bill Gates and then it went on the thing of like, I'm not Bill Gates and he's in the dark for those of you just listening. He didn't even turn the lights on for this one. It's getting weird. It gets weird.

He also, I've seen him where he'll go, I'm at work right now. And yeah, it's got to get some work done. All right. And you're like, what the fuck are you doing? And then he has to be like, worked out pretty hard today. Yeah. You know, I can do my wrestling later. Ladies, like he's so gross.

He'll literally die with his mouth and be like, I don't know if I can wrestle later. It's so gross. I send him to Tom all the time when he'll be like in another country. He'll be like in Australia. And they'll be like, good morning, my sweet love. And like, that's the first thing he sees. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, this is when you don't brush your teeth, you don't floss. This is a calcium. And he's so upset. They have to break it off your tooth. Oh, Lord. It's just decaying away. Yeah.

That's tartar. That's if you don't brush and floss. Yeah. And you have to break it up and suck it up. It's so gnarly. And then it eats into your tooth too. And into your gums and into your heart and kills you. Look at that mouth.

Oh, Bill. Yeah. So this is like the dental tick talks I've been finding. They're fascinating. Yeah, sure. One way of describing them. Fuck. Oh.

That is horrendous. When does your moves the whole thing? Oh, that's a tooth. Sorry. This is like pimple poppers for teeth. I love it. This is what's left of that too. Well, that's it.

Ryan, hope you had a guitar. Tartar, you said. That was the last one. We used to have this kid in our neighborhood that had just, every time you'd see me had that cooked plaque. I hate that. And we called him Tartar. He called him Tartar.

That was his nickname. He was, what's up, Tartar? I'm like, all right. We picked teams. Like, all right, give me Tartar. You know? And then he went to the dentist one time. We were like, what's up, Tartar?

He's like, I don't got that shit no more, man. We're like, you're forever going to be Tartar forever. Tartar forever. Tartar. There's 50 right now. It's Tartar. If we refer to him, we can talk about Tartar and he's in his 50s. What is this?

He probably has the most impeccable teeth today. Tartar. We bullied him into fucking nice teeth. But you did him a service. Tartar, we call it. You ever had a nickname? I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, it used to call me Tartar back in the day.

Why? A lot of Tartar. I shit on my teeth. Well, this is a treat, dude. Thank you for coming. Thank you for having me. It's always fun to see you. Go to YouTube right now and check out Lefty's Son.

It's available right now on YouTube. Watch it. Rate it. Review it. Share it. Subscribe. But tell your friends. That's how these specials really get out there.

Repost it. Send it to a friend. Send it in an email. Put it on Twitter. Put it on TikTok. Put it on Instagram. Share it with people. Let people know.

And I'm very happy for you, man. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you both so much. We love you. I love you guys, too. Thank you. Bye, guys.

When I became deathly ill, I used this remote control to contact my friend. I'm having just pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain. I'm calling paramedics and your family, Mr. Miller. I've fallen, and I can't get up. sending help immediately, Mrs. Fletcher.