Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: To claim your Double your Roses offer, go to http://1800Flowers.com/YMH. Shop data plans at https://mintmobile.com/mom. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse Pull your jeans all the way up over your head because Tom Segura and Christina P are back for another week of Your Mom's House Podcast! Tom wants to have some fun and so does the guy in the opening clip. The Main Mommies also talk about a local news station tweeting a slur, neck veins, broads in space, influencers with down syndrome, and then share some more of "Enny's Thoughts." We then welcome comedian Brad Williams into the MommyDome! Tom and Christina talk to him about dwarf fetishes, a new slur for tall people, Tiptoes, and Brad's thoughts on the new Snow White movie out in theaters. They also talk about the "Allah" of LP's, short people jokes, the challenge of following Brad's act, and bringing back shame in commonplace society. They also check out some horrible or hilarious clips and Toks! Try it out. Your Mom’s House Ep. 807 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:10 - Opening Clip: Let's Have Fun 00:08:35 - Clip: Farting Baddie 00:10:52 - Clip: 8 Head 00:12:23 - Big Word Blunder 00:19:17 - Clip: YMH Muppets 00:22:03 - Low-IQ Adults & Downs Influencers 00:25:29 - More Of Enny's Inner Thoughts 00:30:56 - Clip: Baseball Sock 00:37:55 - Clip: Neck Veins 00:39:42 - Broads In Space 00:42:28 - Nobody Can Follow Brad Williams 00:49:13 - Little Person Jokes 00:58:21 - Snow White & Tiptoes 01:05:55 - Try It Out 01:09:18 - A Christina P Thought & Ivanka Trump 01:18:29 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:25:51 - TikToks 01:34:08 - Shame 01:40:36 - Wrap Up 01:41:47 - Closing Song - "RubRub Song" by DJ BOY BUTTER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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in Billings, Montana. Get tickets now at tomscura.com slash tour. Thank you. Billings, Montana. Get tickets now at tomscura.com slash tour. Thank you. Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. Okay, Martin, let's try one. Remember, big.

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My mom now Doesn't mean my ass You know what I'm saying? By that same French excellence You know what I'm saying? The mayor of know what I'm saying? Yeah, he wants to be the mayor You know what I'm saying?

Thank you, baby. You're welcome. Yo, I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, like this, you know what I'm saying? Will you give me my lock? Oh. You know what I'm saying? Full off of rubber.

So sweet. I'm gonna say it. You know what I'm saying? Right. Full off of this beauty. You know what I'm saying? Like this. Do you know what I'm saying?

Do anyone understand that? There you go. Do anyone understand? Ghost crew, you know what I'm saying? God, ghost crew. Yeah, they always gave us bangers, man. Yeah, I like them. That was Dennis Rodman at the end. Yeah. Some of those voices we haven't heard in a minute. Dennis, they always gave us bangers, man. Yeah, I like them. That was Dennis Rodman at the end.

Yeah. Some of those voices we haven't heard in a minute. Dennis, does he, where's his stuff? Is he in... He went to Korea, to North Korea, remember? To hang out. What's this bullshit? Ah!

Ah! What, what, what, what's this? He was so drunk. No, I, I, I was, I... He was hammered. And they had like some guys with him who were so put together and they were like, well, Dennis has his own challenges. He means well. They were like, this guy is fucking out of his mind.

Because he went to North Korea to play basketball. Yeah. And for King Jong, Kim Jong-un loves NBA basketball. So they went there on like a humanitarian trip. And I think they, they were all retired former players and they played like the North Korean national team. And I believe they lost. No. Yeah, yeah, but everyone was kind of like,

yeah, it's fine, go ahead and lose. Yeah. Like don't, don't embarrass them of like yeah, it's fine. Go ahead and lose. Yeah, like don't Don't embarrass him. He was so unhinged. Remember that time when he did karaoke and he was just like ripped Yeah, he was ripped that whole trip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah There's so much that we've cultivated for this episode there's something there's something I'm excited to show you Yeah things you're excited you keep saying like you can't you're like you've never you're never you don't usually come in go Like I can't wait to show you this thing. I gotta tell you I've sent this to my Group chat of girlfriends that are down for this, okay?

That are like down for these clips. Half of them tapped out. Tapped out of this clip. They're just like, I can't even watch it, dude. It's so, you know, Sarah, my fave, she loves these things. Sarah introduced me to Gigi Allen when we were 18 years old. And she saw this clip? She was like, wow, like this is intense.

I made it all the way through. But even watching it all the way through. God damn, okay. Yes, maybe just for women, I don't know. We'll get to it. I'm going to, this is not the clip. Here we go, I'm scared. No, no, I'm just gonna play our opening clip,

but we'll get to your exciting clip soon. Okay. All right. All right, hold on a second now. Hold on a second now. All right, and here's your open Yeah Fuck yeah, dude. That's pretty cool. Don't bring anyone loving to this.

Yeah. Your mama in the fucking stand! Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Oh, meow meow meow meow meow. This guy's down, man. He's really... He's fired up.

He's fired up. There's no other way to be here. Welcome to your mom's house. He's fire there's no other way to be Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh, that was a good one. I love this guy so much. Yeah, the bagel guy. Oh, fuck yeah. So if he reminds you of anybody, it's because a few years back, this guy was the five foot tall dude

who lost his shit in a bagel store for being made fun of for his height. And it went viral. He became, I guess that's why he has a promoter. So I like that he's like, you wanna fuck? Hit up my promoter, tell him you're from Suffolk County, preferably. Why Suffolk County? Why? Let's get high and let's fuck.

But was it just this proximity because the girl's closer? Yeah, I guess he's like, I don't want someone to hit me up that's far from here. Like the next town over. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, like the bagel shop. I don't know if I can bring this in Why is it okay for women to say oh you're five feet on dating sites you should be dead that's okay

Here nobody women in general. I've said it on dating sites. You think I'm making that shit up Everywhere I go I get the same smart with the biting lip Yeah, shut your mouth. You're not God or my father or my boss Do you want to step outside you want to step outside? You shut up to Oh shit Shit Oh shit shit I just want a vaguer These coasters hit a different man. Through the promoter. Yeah. Oh my God. You know what I love about East Coasters? Yeah.

Is the women. Why? Because they're so cool. Yeah. They're so cool. They're so cool. They're so cool. They're so cool.

They're so cool. They're so cool. They're so cool. They're so cool. They're so cool. They're so cool. They're so cool. They're so cool.

They're so cool. They're so cool. They're so cool. They're so cool. They're know if we need a middle man. Through the promoter. Yeah. Oh my God. You know what I love about East Coasters? Yeah. Is the women watching this are laughing.

I know. That's how hardcore East Coasters are in general. She's like, yeah, that would happen in California or Texas. Women would be like, oh my God, there's so much tougher than us over there. They're used to more chaos. Yeah. Yeah. That New York City chaos. Yeah. Long Island chaos.

Well, he looks a little inebriated here. It was crazy that though, in that, I forgot that in the bagel shop, this other guy attacked him, like jumped on him. I forgot that bit too. I forgot that. Do you think that guy was talking shit about him being small?

Probably. I think they were talking shit about how angry he was in general, and everyone was like, just get your fucking bagel. And he brought up obviously real things, like I get made fun of, and people were always snickering and saying these things about me. And then he got in people's faces,

and one of them was like, I'll fucking take you down, bro. Damn. Pretty crazy. Well, I hope he got laid this night. I like him. There's definitely a girl out there for him somewhere. I know there is. God, this is the easiest money you can make. That sounds like a god damn engine start.

I don't believe it. She's not, that's not real. I know my farts. That sounds like an AMG engine. Like if you don't listen to the way an AMG starts. It's very similar That's not real you think that's real no, these are just sound effects. Yeah, you know why why she's not pushing those sounds Look, you're talking to the fart master. Oh my goodness. You know I am yeah, I See there's no push. There's no She doesn't seem to be pushing hard, but maybe she's just got a talent.

For a girl? No. This is a, even dudes, you'll see them, yeah, you bear down. There's no bearing down. Wow. I'm gonna call bullshit on this. Wow.

I said it. I'm a fart expert. Listen, we would love to hear from you. This is Mila. The Instagram is the fartworldofficial. She's one of the fart models there. Prove it. Mila's part of Fart World, which is an OnlyFans account

with over 150 models on their channel. Fart World changes 14 charges, 14.95 a month to watch all the models fart. That's great. We are challenging whether or not these are authentic farts to everybody at the Fart World official and to Mila. You're being doubted.

I don't know if there's any way you could prove that you're actually farting like that. I mean, come to Texas, Mila, come sit on our couch and you can fart like that with no pushing, no bearing down. You will sit on Eni's lap and you will fart and we'll just see how it goes. Let's see it.

Bring one of these models here. It's 10 in the morning. Come on. Yeah. By the way, $14.95 a month. To watch all these models fart? Models. 150 models.

I mean, they're making a great living. How many subscribers do they have? Well, that's what we don't know. We don't know. Yeah, you can't really. We don't know the math. I gotta tell you. But they're not doing this for free. I't know the math. I gotta tell ya.

But they're not doing this for free. I'll tell ya that. Gotta tell you, if things got desperate for me, this is the first place I would head. You would go to Fart World. Feet, farts, what else? Selling used underwear, used gym clothes. Easy money.

Easy money. Easy money. Easy money. Easy money. Easy money. I don't like this. You don't like this? I don't like it. I don't like him. I don't like it. Why? He looks sick.

No, he's fine. He doesn't look normal. He's normal. I don't like this clip. What is this? I don't like this clip. What is this? I don't like this clip.

What is this? I don't like this clip. What is this? I don't like this clip. What is this? I don't like this clip. What is this? I don't like this clip. What is normal. I don't like this clip. What is this?

This is upsetting. I don't like this. This reminds me of my cousin Chaba in Hungary, who's touched. Like this is something Chaba would probably do. Chaba rides his bike, right? Yeah, he looks for aliens around Budapest on his bicycle. Yeah, this guy's probably doing a similar thing.

I don't like it. I don't like that his arms are too thin. I don't like the rocking. I don't like the fan. I don't like any fucking, there's a hole in the wall. Right, any? I feel like any fucking hates it too.

Yeah, the hole in the wall is definitely my first, like what is going on with this man? I'm a little scared for him. But you know what? he should get his yeah exactly he should get his? I support him. You mean like make a living on oh I see what you're saying you don't want to join his only fans? You don't want to pay that his black slang? He's gonna get his I thought you were meaning like he's gonna get beaten no he's used to be that's what the mafia.

No, it's just, okay. Now it's. All right, whatever, man. God, there's so much to go through. I can't believe you're wasting time on this. Okay. Well, a fun transition is KTLA. Did you see what KTLA put out?

No, show me. KTLA, which was your local news for most of your life. That's right, my whole childhood. They just, a couple days ago, just out of nowhere sent out a tweet. And you know what the tweet said? No. I gotta start following the KTLA News team.

Yeah, you gotta start following them. I think I've been on this channel, Channel 5. They just tweeted out the N-word. Oh no. That's it. Just that? Just that.word n-words plural it looks like can I see that bigger, please? I'm trying to let's see Huh? Hilarious. Yeah, just that Yeah, wow, they just put that out and

They called it a technical error. They accidentally posted the N word from a news station, which was just like, here's our thought today. Oh my God. Yeah. And that's all that it was. And then they had to follow up and just said, we experienced a technical error while adding language filters to our, what is it, to our social media accounts, resulting in an offensive word being accidentally shared.

We are appalled and apologize that this occurred. Feels like somebody just tweeted it. But not that they're like, oh, we were updating our filters and then this happened. But yeah. So. Somebody at KTLA is not a fan. So they meant to add the N word to its list of muted words

but accidentally posted it instead. I buy that story. Like here's something we shouldn't say, let's just post it to our several hundred thousand followers. Oh my God, could you imagine seeing that tweet? You're like, what is going on? KTLA, N words. Yep.

Jeez. Yeah. Jeez. Amazing. Amazing, I love KTLA, right? Josh, don't you feel a sense of like, that's my shit? Yeah, that's our channel. Good job, guys.

KTLA's great, but KTLA, you can't just tweet the N-word. You can't just tweet the N-word. You just can't do it. We're a mess. Mom's deserve the absolute best, especially on Mother's Day. And when it comes to flowers, there's only one place I trust to get it right every time, 1800flowers.com. Every year I order from 1800flowers.com

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month. New customer offer for first three months only then full price plan options, available taxes and fees, extra cement mobile for details. Could you imagine being the person that did that? Maybe they wanted to do that. Maybe they didn't mean to do that. You're like, You're like, What's wrong with you? What's wrong with y'all?

You niggas are crazy. You can't do that, man. You can't do that. You can't do it. And like, you're the one that did it. And you're like, you go to your best friend at the KTLA job. And you're like, Jesus fucking Christ, Tom. I fucked up so bad, dude.

I deleted it right away. But do you think they saw it? So they saw what? You'd be like, wait, you couldn't have done something that bad. Dude, I was just fucking joking around. Kevin and I were fucking around and I fucking accidentally tweeted it. Tweeted what? You know, dude, the end word.

You tweeted the end word. I did. I didn't think it would fucking go out, though, dude. I deleted it. It's definitely your last day here. Fuck. I'm so fucked. Yeah, you definitely got to pack up. Can I tell you something? I'm stupid enough to do something like this, like as a joke to be like,

what's the worst thing I could fucking tweet? Hmm. Here it is, bro. And then it sends and then my life is over. Yeah, they would definitely be I can do that I know I don't know if I would do n-word though. I might do something funnier like more LA specific Yeah, like Mexican stuff. Maybe you know, it's Cholo stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well damn that definitely got Everybody on the social media team into a meeting that day. That's so. For sure, they're like,

everybody go to the conference room real quick. Fuck. We have something we need to discuss. But I know it wasn't that light, cause it's LA, like they got into a, like it was heavy. It was like the HR had to come out and talk to everybody about their feelings and counsel people. And you know what I'm saying?

Oh, of course. It was heavy. I bet you it was heavy. Okay. Good you know what I'm saying? Of course. It was heavy. I bet you it was heavy. Okay. Good segue. Mother's Day just around the corner. Get mom my lipstick. The perfect four is the perfect gift.

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Yeah, check this out. Watch this bullshit. Scott Welsh, he did a Muppet style spin off where he takes like podcast clips and he posts them. He put this one out the other day. Speaking of not being fat, I'm back on the Ozempics. Get out of here. But they upped my dose because I was eating right through it like a pig the last time I did it and now I want to die. It's so gross like I feel so sick all the time but I'm looking thinner already. You look great. Yeah. The main thing is

that you're getting all the benefits of an eating disorder. Yeah. You know without all the health complications. It's good. He even got the cool guys behind us as puppets. That's pretty awesome. This is amazing. Way to go, Scott. Thanks so much for doing that. Thank you. I love this.

And also we love the Muppets. So much. I miss that show. I wish they'd bring that one back. Yeah. But Jim Henson's dead. It's not gonna work. That guy was the magic with that show.

He was the magic. Sometimes you can't duplicate it. Cannot. He was the right blend of heart and comedy and pot. And you know, it was the seventies. He had a good vibe. Gotta bring weed back into the system. I think so.

I think the drugs are bad. And that's why music and creative stuff suck so fucking hard right now. Well, yeah, you don't need the fucking, people are too hardcore. Fentanyl and shit. Just need some good weed, man. Just some weed, maybe some good ecstasy,

or Molly is what the kids are taking now. Sure, yeah. I don't know. Cigarettes are nice too, just smoke real cigarettes. Why are you vaping? Stop vaping, it looks so fucking gay. There you go, stop looking gay. Vaping is for fucking, it's for children.

Smoke like an adult. Yeah. Yeah. If you're gonna go, go hard. It was so fun is for fucking, it's for children. You know, six year old vapes. Smoke like an adult. Yeah. Yeah. If you're gonna go, go hard. It was so fun the other day, we were talking about babies with the boys. Yeah. And they were like, why do you give a baby?

I go, well, babies love spicy sausage. So you gotta, if you ever have a baby, you give them real spicy sausages. And then you give them cigarettes and tequila. And they were laughing so hard. They're like like to a baby I was like, yeah, man babies love to smoke drink and eat spicy foods and they were like It's so fun giving them misinformation lately cuz now they're at the age where they can pick up on it

Yeah, they know they know they're like putting it together. They're like, but we're in the baby get sick I was like no man, not if they try to make a baby strong you make a baby smoke Yeah, we went to three forks restaurant Yeah And we were like, yeah, they give you three forks and if you don't use all three of them You have to spend the night just by the night the right and they're like, is that true? Yeah, of course. It's true. You idiot. Do you fucking sleep there? Yeah, use your third fork. You gotta use all three dummy By the way, I took them to see Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, the musical.

It was so good. They did such a great job. I'm a huge fan of Mo Willems books. We love them at the house. But I've been noticing a lot of low IQ adults like children's things lately. Like I look for them now. Uh huh.

And I'm like, why are you here? You don't have a kid with you, weirdo. That's definitely weird. And it definitely brings about, it's a great segue. And I definitely think they are low IQ adults. There's a normal way. There are some out there. Yeah. That a normal person.

Checking out just children's entertainment. I don't get it. And I also think that parents are too involved with the kids on the playground. Let them just frickin' work it out. Work it out. Let them work it out.

You don't need to watch everything. The LA Times put out an article that they discovered that fake Down syndrome influencers are being created with AI, are being used to promote OnlyFans content. What a wonderful word. Isn't this insane? Because this, we were talking about, like, what's going on? Like, how are all these Downs people just being like, are being used to promote OnlyFans content. What a wonderful word. Isn't this insane? I've been waiting for this. We were talking about what's going on?

How are all these Downs people just being like, you wanna fuck? It's so great. Here's what it says, a disturbing trend has emerged in which artificial intelligence is being used to create fake Instagram influencers with Down syndrome to promote adult content.

According to a report from 404 Media, this practice often involves stealing content from real creators and replacing their faces with AI generated ones. These fabricated personas are then used to sell explicit content, exploiting the fetishization of disabilities. One of the most notable AI generated influencers

is at Maria Dopari. Can you pull up hers? Is her Instagram still there? Oh. Oh. Oh. Let's see. Instagram got wise.

Did it take hers down? Better not. Nope. She's got great cans. It's the big titted ones. So it's not, oh it's not. It is down. It is down. So she got, I mean the it's not. It is down. It is down.

So she got, I mean the LA Times article. This was her. This was her. These accounts typically recycle content using, reusing videos, bios, and linking to the same adult content platform. While many of the AI generated faces appear convincing at first glance, subtle distortions

and inconsistencies often reveal their artificial nature. And then it says, some of these AI personas explicitly reference their appearance in relation to adult content, even using phrases like only down as part of their marketing. So these are made, so that's the answer to this. When we were like, what's going on with Down's adult content? It's AI generated. But thank God AI, but this is how technology always spurs forward. It's used in pornography, as it is. Yeah, pornography always goes well.

Always. We'll try it, yeah. Also, this is Victoria's Secret fault. Remember? Victoria's Secret was the first to fetishize the Down syndrome model. Yeah. And we called it out fucking two, three years ago, like, hey guys, is it really a cool idea? was the first to fetishize the Down syndrome model. And we called it out, fucking two, three years ago, like, hey guys, is it really a cool idea? It really was kind of strange.

To essentially make somebody who may not be intellectually capable of choosing this career, aware of the repercussions of being sexualized. There she is, yeah. Oh, thanks Victoria's Secret, you fucking dipshits. And this created a whole lane of guys J and their D Girls with Down syndrome girls good good see children essentially Intellectual children, okay, it's not fair. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know

Well, this is a perfect way chance to segue into one of any's inner thoughts Stop letting your old play with you. You got some super fine shit a baddie some super ultra fine shit chance to segue into one of Annie's inner thoughts. to disrespect me and shit, run her validation up and put that bitch on the pedestal. I'd be like, fuck that. She'd be like, oh, you want to run over here with me? No, go by yourself. I'll be here waiting because you know they all going to come back. Oh, this dude hit on me and this many guys was looking at me and staring at me and this shit.

Bitch, stop the fuck. Who gives two shits about what they all that bullshit? Come on, run that throat. That's so true. Beat my throat goat. Throat goat. Fuck yeah. Is this how you feel like when we go out?

Hell yeah. And you're like, Bitch don't even look at me. Compliment that bitch? Yeah. What do you think, Enny? This dude sound like he used to be a player. That's what this sounds like.

It's giving me the energy that he was a player when he was like 18. And then the nigga went broke, lost all his teeth, started fucking talking shit to everybody. Nobody likes him. And he's just like, Me bitch I ain't doing nothing for you like yeah That's because nobody's watching no more. He's so proud. I hear what you're saying great assessment

I would say it though. I've watched all of his content and I he definitely purports to be still active in the player Yeah, because he's getting stragglers right outliers scraps. He ain't getting good no more no getting stragglers right outliers scraps getting good no more no well I think any spot on this guy seeing some financial hardships his game isn't as big as it used to be I agree I see the decline still has a lot of wisdom a lot of wisdom to share okay he's an elder

you got to listen to him stop it just fucking stop it stop fucking girls who neck and head and throat is not on the motherfucking menu that shit's supposed is not on the motherfucking menu That shit's supposed to be on the motherfucking menu twin my boy my G my god family teammate Bro, that's supposed to be on the motherfucking menu, right? You bitch be like, oh I do this and I'll do a little bit of this and I'll do some of that, but I won't do that Bitch is all on the motherfucking menu the menu ho nobody above the motherfucking program that shit is part of the program That's part of my motherfucking program. Nobody's above the program

Not even me get with the motherfucking program bitch weather throw run the motherfucking throw So it's a really interesting point that he's making though, I'm not sure I understand it Yeah, so what he's saying is, like some girls are saying, specifically like, oh I don't give head, right? And he's saying, no bitch, it's all on the menu. The menu is the menu, meaning you do do it all. Don't give me this shit, I only do this and that. Right.

If I want this, this is what you're doing. If you're not participating in this section of the menu, then you're fucking full of shit. Get out of here. So you do give head. Period. Got it. When I was young, I used to dream of being anything. A doctor, the president, a scientist. But as you get older, your dreams change, focusing less on running the world and more on how you can take your skills and ideas to turn them into something real.

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and start selling today at shopify.com slash moms house. Go to shopify.com slash moms house. shopify.com slash moms house. The all new all electric Can-Am origin motorcycle takes you everywhere. Sleek power for the streets and deep adventure routes for the trails. Discover your origin today. Learn more at CanAmMotorcycles.com. Is he, but I would like to know, does he explicitly tell you the menu before you sign up

No, he kind of lets you know as you're going along No, he's just saying like hey if this is like I want head if you're if your point of view is that's not really something I'm into get the fuck out of here. That's not that's not an option to say that Wow But you know the bitch are gonna give you head before you even get there. So here's what I'm saying, Homie fell off. I feel like he's got some broke nasty bitch in the back in his fucking bedroom right now and then he just like literally went

and recorded a video with her sleeping in the bed. Like, ah, fuck it, she won't suck my dick, man. Like, what the fuck? She's over there like, man, this nigga's crying again. Fuck it. Homie lost his ways. I love any assessment. I know I do love this. If I can feel like you.

Yeah, I think this the shades are an interesting choice for these. Yeah, he's doing some matrix shit here. I like seeing the ring light in them. Yeah, he doesn't. He's got to be lit, dude. Yeah, he's at least he's the

first cool guy we've had. That's well lit. Yeah, I don't think we've, at least he's the first cool guy we've had that's well lit. Yeah. I don't think we've ever seen that. He prioritizes video quality and audio. Yeah. And his looks. And he looks good shirtless.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank God. He's not a mess. He's not a mess. There's no fan. No. But this is a new lane of cool guy.

It's pretty cool. Yeah. It is pretty cool. Okay, now will you please? What do you want? The clip? Oh, the clip that you've been talking about? Okay, here we go. Come on. Hold on. I bought this sock from a baseball player he wore it a full month. It's pretty filthy as you can see. This is usually where I tap out.

Oof. Oh, it's so hard to get through, isn't it? It's so hard to watch this. This is just on TikTok? Listen, full disclosure, this was sent to me by a mom friend. I don't wanna say who, I don't know if she's okay with me sharing.

Oh, okay, okay. I'm not sure. I understand. The source. Yeah. But it's a banger, am I right? It's pretty cool. Well, what are you feeling right now? Like I wanna talk about it. Well, it'd be a lot easier to watch

if it was a female's, you know? Yeah, because it's gay kinda bothered you? No, well, I guess. I don't know if this gay thing bothered me. It's just that I go like, ugh. I always think of like, anytime I see a man's foot, period, like even in flip-flops, I'm just always like, ugh.

Like, I just have kinda disdain for men's feet. But I understand that like, he's gay so there wouldn't I just have kind of disdain for men's feet. But I understand that like, he's gay so there wouldn't be the same level of disdain. But I just, I can't, I can't dismiss my own disdain for a man's foot. Understood. Also, yes, and a man's level of filth over the course of one month playing baseball.

Is, look at those. It's crusty, it is brown, there's dust. So when he breathes and he coughs, it's because the dust is in his throat. Maybe some blood is in there too. Yeah, fungus, toe jam. So much sweat. Athlete's foot.

And this guy couldn't be harder. Oh, this guy's in heaven. That part I understand, like how sweet this is to him. Like I get it on that level. It's the source of it for me that I'm like, whew. It's a lot. Like if this was a guy who was like,

oh, I got this from a female volleyball player, even then I'd be like, it's different. Different, different. Hey Josh, can you look up like, what's the going rate for a one month old baseball player sock? It's very specific. He hit up somebody.

A fetish, like this is very specific. I don't think there's a going rate. I think this guy just hit somebody up and was like, hey man, what would it take? And that guy was probably like, give me a grand or something, you know. For a month's worth of work. But also put it in terms of like,

the guy had to wear those socks every day for a month. Which is also upsetting as the player. For you. Yeah. Cause now your foot's gonna be covered in filth and fuck. Every time you put it on, you're like, the sock is, yeah. And like everybody's noticing. Help, pricing a sock sale

Okay, he wants me to wear socks and shoes ten days in a row says he likes them very dirty How much would you charge I sell usually $10 per day? That's it might be underselling I'm new in the foot market, but ten days seems like it should be really expensive I just came up can't come up with a number that's fair to me. So this is somebody asking 200 sounds reasonable. No, for 10 days, more, more. Okay, hold on. I think you need to take into consideration

what brand you are wearing and what else is being provided with the sale. One of my friends does the socks fetish and her starting price for 24 hours of wear is $45. There you go. If you want them worn longer, then it's $10 a day. If she provides pictures or a clip that's also extra. I think when it comes to used items,

Riddick can give you a false idea of what you can sell. I do the sneaker fetish and once I wear them, I wince every time I see someone try and sell their sneakers for $50. Oh yeah, that's not enough. Well, it looks like there's a big debate going on on what the price should be, but I understand that. How do you price it? That's a big deal. It is a big deal. It is a big deal. And one month of wear on a baseball player.

I hope that, did he, wait, did he say how much he paid for this? No, I don't think he did. I mean, I would go a thousand dollars000, like you said, at least. That's a long game for the wearer. Every day to wear that crusty, nasty sock. It's uncomfortable for you as the wearer. That's what I'm saying. That's really what you're paying for it.

You're like, all right, well. Yeah, fuck. No, I'm saying you're being compensated for your own discomfort at that point. Right, the amount of time it took to bake that well This was really cool. I appreciate I've been just like when your friends have been sharing this so so I this was sent to me by a friend and then I Forded it to my group of really sick

Women friends that I've had since we were you know 13 14 like my core group Mm-hmm, and like I, half of them tapped out. Shawna was like, nope, nope, not even gonna fucking watch this. Sarah, who's down, she's like, I'm hurt. But that being said, please keep sending these. She still appreciates. She's hardcore.

She's very hardcore. She really gets it. She's the originator of this. Yeah. That's really cool, man. Oh, here's hardcore. She's very hardcore. She really gets it. She's the originator of this. Yeah. Yeah, that's really cool, man Yeah, oh there's here's another oh History of the sock fetish the history of olfactophilia Has been present for a considerable amount of time in years the used socks fetish has been derived as a subset of this in 94 study was conducted which found that 45% of people with foot fetish are interested in smelly socks. This shows that there is a common interest

between olifactophilia and foot fetishism. Can you make money? Yes, how much? As mentioned above, socks can sell up for $60 and more. Obviously depends on a few factors, such as activities performed in them, duration and wear of also material. There's a bunch of, yeah.

That's great. I mean, what a country. What a world. It is an incredible country. There's no reason to be poor. No reason to be broke. You gotta start selling this stuff, man. You gotta do everything.

Sniffer. That's perfect. That's the site. Wow. It's a trusted marketplace, safe and anonymous. This is awesome. Over 1.5 million users and growing. Jesus Christ.

Men. Well, I think... Men. Gentlemen, if you wouldn't mind setting up an account and maybe getting some stuff for us to explore what's going on in this space and have everything approved by me first. Send me what you're thinking of and then I'll tell you whether or not to bid on it. All right, let's, and do that today, Jolo, let's transition to another section.

Jolo, you called him Jolo. Jolo, yes. What is up with you? You're gonna have a stroke. Why am I gonna have a stroke? You keep mispronouncing words. I was just so sexually aroused, I kinda just stuttered. Speaking of getting my dick hard.

Ah. just so sexually aroused I kind of just stuttered. Speaking of getting my dick hard. Show you those those neck veins. Look at that. The traps. I don't like this at all. I hate it. I don't like this. Well... Well, we have different people that like different things here. It makes me hurt. I don't like it. Those veins are awesome, man. I don't like seeing people's veins. She's so vascular. You don't like that at all?

Nope. Well, it's a whole lane. I don't like it. I don't like seeing people's veins. Does that mean you're dehydrated? Muscle mama, she's 180 pounds, bodybuilding adult model. Yeah. Neck vein lover.

Isn't that crazy? That's a whole other lane. Yeah, guys are really cool. Guys are cool. Guys like everything and any, there's someone out there for you. Yeah. Ugh, I'm gonna puke someone out there for you. Yeah. Ugh, I'm gonna puke.

Okay, thank you. To think that that's really, I never even thought of that. No. Some people go, oh, neck veins are my, like. Yeah. This is just showing that neck vein. It's very specific. I feel sick inside.

And that's making some guy JSD right now. I get the sweat socks more than the veins, but. So do I, but I'm just saying that this is obviously popular I like seeing that neck pain, baby. Yeah, it's so weird, but people sexualize Hey, did you hear katy perry went into outer space today? Yeah. I was like, I hope they fucking leave her there. I don't like her music So annoying Really? Yeah, you don't think she's the most annoying. No, I was like bitch stay, stay in space. That's really? Yeah. I didn't, I didn't feel like that at all. Yeah, she's super annoying.

How is she annoying? I don't know. I've seen her host that show where they rate singers and stuff. She's just like obnoxious, like too much. You know what I mean? Yeah. She can't, she can't not be the center of attention all the time. So Gail King, Lauren Sanchez.

Gail can come back down. I like Gail. Katie can stay in space. What about Lauren? I like her. I like her. I like her. I like her. I like her. She can't not be the center of attention all the time. So Gale King, Lauren Sanchez. Gale can come back down. I like Gale. Katie can stay in space.

What about Lauren? Who's Lauren? Jeff Bezos' sweetheart. I guess. I don't want him to suffer. He's already been divorced. And he's in such good shape. That's a factor?

Yeah, he worked hard. There they are. Those are the broads in space right now. And you know what's so funny too is like, they made such a big deal that it's women. And they all had to ring a bell before they got on this. And I like that they called it a space crew. Yeah, they're not doing shit. As opposed to passengers.

They're just passengers. Yeah, what are you doing? You're sitting there in a tight body suit and that's the accomplishment. Yeah, you're just a passenger. Yeah, it's not. And you didn't build the spaceship. You're not an engineer. No, of course not.

You didn't do anything. You're just gonna sit and go for a ride. Yeah. Yeah, that's hilarious. I honestly think every time we point out people's- I love that I saw a thing that- I'm a woman. That Lauren Sanchez, she's wearing like high heels and she had her zipper open for most of the promos for this.

She's so about just looking hot. She's an astronaut. Yeah. Yeah, it's so brutal. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, none of these, if these women were like scientists or physicists or something, they're just like hot women in space.

Is that what we're? That's all they are, man. Gail King is probably the only one. I don't know, I'm not familiar with everyone else, but she actually does stuff. Like she's got a blade in her fucking. You know what I like? I really like that this is a diverse group of women.

Me too. Cause Lauren is Latin. Yeah. Katie's white. I see an Asian lady, two black ladies. It really, I'm just like, oh. Me too. But you know what, Tom?

Thank God. A little ableist, I don't see anybody. I know. How come no one's in a chair with a disability. or signing or anything? And I'll bet you something else. I'll bet you that spacecraft isn't even equipped for wheelchairs. That's so fucking, yeah.

Huh? What about neurodivergent? I don't see anybody with autism. Nope. It's really fucked up. This is so fucked up. It is fucked up, man. Women.

Women supporting women. Women supporting women. Women supporting women. All right, should we take a quick break? Yeah. Yeah, take a quick break and we'll be right back. Sell your socks. Sell your socks.

You can catch our next guest on the Growthspurt Tour right now, or you can see his most recent special starfish Available on YouTube go to Brad Williams comedy comm for tickets. It's Brad Williams Made it I laid it on a plane like 10 minutes ago. No, I'm here. Oh, yeah. Let's go. I'm not tired Thanks for coming in of course I'm not tired. Thanks for coming in. Of course. Congratulations.

How many specials is that now for you? It feels like... Oh geez. This would be one, two, three, four. This is fourth one. Fourth special. Yeah. And then if you go, if you watch Starfish and then you go see a ticket for me on tour

this year, it's going to be different material. It's not going to be the same stuff. So I've always asked that. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I'm always shocked because we're in it. We do comedy all the time, but I'm shocked shocked with how great fans are but then at the same time how little they still know Yeah, I know right it like I remember one one guy told me recently like he was asking me about hecklers

And I was like yeah sure you know it's a thing then they go well You know it's part of your job like it is But it should not be yeah like it's not a part of the job. I look forward to it's part of your job. Like, it is, but it should not be. Yeah. Like it's not a part of the job I look forward to. It's like, all right, I love to have all this material I've worked on be interrupted. Yeah, that's the best part. No, I mean, and then there's the person who's like,

I was just trying to help you out. No, that's the worst one. So I've been doing this for 20 years, but I needed it. I'm selling out the theater, but I needed the help. I made it more I'm selling out the theater, but I needed the help. I had a thought. I made it more interesting when I yelled. By the way, if you haven't seen Brad Williams live, I mean, it is so much fun.

You're so funny. And I remember, do you remember we did this casino gig together a million years ago, we were like booked by the Laugh Factory. Which one? Cause I did one with you and I did one with Tom. My story is amazing. Well, you tell yours.

I just know that Brad devastated and nobody could follow him. My story was amazing. I went out to do this gig at a casino. It was a pretty big one. Somewhere in like Central California maybe? Central California. I want to say Oroville, but it's be it's one of those there's a big room Yeah, and I drove out there with Jay Larson. Yes, so it was the three of us. Mm-hmm and

we get out there and the the The the contact at this venue was like who are you guys? We're like, oh, we're two of the comics. He's like, this is Brad's show. Good, I told her to say that. OK. We were like, what a dick. We were like, wait, what do you mean? I think it's the three of us were booked.

And he was like, well, I mean, you guys are not really like who people are here to see. And we were like, OK. And then he was like, so all right, let's figure out how we're going to do this. All right, he was like, so, all right, let's figure out how we're gonna do this. All right, he goes like, Brad's obviously last, so. He was like, which one of you guys will go? We were like, I don't know.

And he was like, Brad, how do you want it to go? We were like, hey man, like we are comedians. Yes. And he was like, yeah, but I mean, wait till you see what he does. You're not gonna compare to compare to that and he was straight up like you guys ain't shit And yes my how times have changed We were like alright man, so then he he gave us like our assignments he was like you do 10 you do 15 Is that cool you Brad and then I was like yeah

Is that cool you Brad and then I was like yeah I'm sitting there like We're like, okay, we're all friends But it's like it's always weird when people that don't know about comedy or just like all right. I'll put together a show I've had I've had a I had a great one like that in Vegas to which the guy was like do you even Do you even know who this other guy like this other comic and I was I was like, no. He was like, yeah, he is a headliner. I was like, bro, I got fucking booked to close this show. He's like, there's no way you could follow that guy. I was like, so.

Was this the booker, the security guard, who is this? This guy just was like, sit in his suit at this Vegas room. By the way, he ended up like allowing us to trade, me and this other guy, and then everything was fine. I was like, dude, out of your mind. It's great. But at Brad's show, he was right. Yeah, of course.

Me and Jay did fine. We were like, it was fine. And then Brad went up there and just fucking denied it. And then that guy was like, you see why? Yeah. Yeah. Nobody can follow Brad Williams. guy was like, you see why? Yeah. Yeah. Nobody can follow Brad Williams. It's like, it's horrible.

That is a very nice compliment. And it was, I got sent the clip. It's on Rogan. It's of, I think it's Ari, Mark Norman, and I think Shane too. And they're talking about who you can't follow. And Ari came right in and said Brad Oh, and it's just the nicest thing to hear that from fellow killers like yourselves and people like that

It's really cool. But it also Now it's like this is obviously a very insanely popular podcast now I'm like, oh great now people gonna sit back and be like, all right I think they actually are gonna go like, I'd love to see someone just fucking destroy. It's fun, I'm enjoying this time in my career where now I've moved on to theaters and now it's like the audiences, they're there for me,

they're not there on the Friday night, like all right, who's the guy? Who is this? Yeah, it's huge. It's like, no, they're there, they they're familiar I can reference old jokes and they get it either they're they cheer I talk about you know small urinals are getting thrown into a helicopter in Afghanistan and people like we know what he's talking about and it's awesome it really is and it's it's I feel really fortunate because I never thought I'd get here I thought like you'd like, you know, I'd get like,

I'd tour some comedy clubs and that'd be good. Maybe sell some tickets on the Saturday early show. You can't make plans for this. No! There's no way you can plan, like. Because there's so many really talented people in this business. Well, there's just so many variables too.

It's like, how could you, you can't plan for it. Yeah, yeah. You know, thank God for COVID, right? Because people started, you people started passing around the clips and it's been said a million times, thank God for COVID. Thank God for COVID. But also, you know, it's not just-

Thank God for the jab, too. The jab. Did you get jabbed? I did. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, I got jabbed and then I wanted to do this thing. I tried to set this up and because of the time that we were in in I couldn't get people to film it.

I wanted to do this thing to where like I get jabbed and then I get out and then I start looking at my clothes like what happened? Yeah, like and then film it like to get people's reaction. I'm like, ah, I was six foot four like two minutes ago What happened side effects? What the shit? Fuck man. Yeah. Bad things can happen. But that's what I was going to say is like the thing that makes you so unique and so funny is that you embrace being an LP. Yeah. Little person. Is that what?

That's what let's talk about and the political correctness and the fear and the weirdness. That is the crazy political correct term. So good job. You're welcome. LP. Is that, that's what you told me to call you like 15 years ago. I was like, what do I call you? Yeah, cause it's like, people ask that a lot.

And I've got jokes about this. Malaney has got a great joke about it. Artie Lang's got a great joke about it. But it's like, the bad one is midget. You're not supposed to say that. But I don't like the people that try to say like, that's our N-word. It's like, why do we need one? And why are we trying to compare? Like, ah, our slur is worse than your slur. Nah. I had a good bit about that many years ago. The thing is I progressed from, I used to

call you guys little N-words. So for me it was like, oh I think it was a tell and if it's not a tell... Oh he, yes it was. Yes it was a tell. Four n-words. Yes. That is such a good guy. And that's just like, I can't beat that. I could never beat that. I saw him do that live in 2011, I still remember. Yeah. At the Las Vegas, they were doing a comedy festival. Okay. And that's where he dropped that and I was like. I was like, that is unbelievable. He's the damn best, man. He's the best dude.

Yeah, well it's like, cause I've done the thing where I go on stage and sometimes I like to challenge myself. I'll be like, let's not do some dwarf jokes. Let's just go in there and yeah talk about whatever and I'm staring at the audience and they're just looking at me like Say the thing and it's like alright, I'll say I'll say I'll say the thing now when you see my show It's not an hour of that. I could take a bath in the thimble. That's weird Like it like it's not it's not that we move on to different topics But yeah, I have to talk about it. You address it at some point.

Yeah, and also, why wouldn't I? Well it's very, I'll tell you this. People like it. I'll tell you what's super upsetting to me, is meeting a guy that's like, I don't know, over 6'5", that doesn't have a conversation. Like dude, I wanna know what it's like. What is it like?

I wanna talk about, if you're 6'10", we are fucking talking about your height. I don't care how exhausted you are of it. I'm gonna bring it up. Yeah, exactly. Because if I'm not, the whole time I'm like, please bring it up, please bring it up. Please bring it up, yeah.

Of course. And it's funny you mention that, I did a podcast with the wrestler, The Big Show. He's a big fuck. Yeah, he's over seven feet. Yeah. Wow. And we just talked about, it was Chris Jericho's podcast and we just talk about comparisons in terms of the life.

And there's actually like for the size differences, there's a lot of similarities. Yeah. In terms of like, obviously like flying is difficult for completely different reasons. Yeah. But just growing up and not fitting in and finding out where you do.

The world is not designed for either of you. So both of you are adapting in different extremes for a world that goes, no, no, you made it for everybody else. Yeah, we're doing all this. Like cars, can I run a car? No. What does happen with running a car? I have to, I have an opening act, he's his great comic, his name is JB Ball, he drives.

If you had a necessity, do you bring some type of adapter for it? Is there something you can bring? There is, there's pedals that you could, I'm not mechanical, I'm not handy, but there's pedals you can install yourself if you want to. I'm sure if I made a big stink about it, I'm sure some ADA lawyer is listening going like,

Brad, call me, let's do this. Because at home you have a car. Yeah, I made a big stink about it, I'm sure some ADA lawyer is listening going like, oh Brad, call me, like let's do this. Because at home you have a car. Yeah, I have a car. But that's modified? Which trips the kids out when I drop my daughter off at school. I get out of the car and they're just like looking at them, how'd he get a car? Is it a modified car then? Yeah, it's got a pedal extender, so that's like a pedal that's on top of the pedal.

Thankfully I sit just as tall as everybody else So I have a normal size torso. Yeah, look at that LPA adaptive products. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's Pedal extensions sometimes you do the hand control expert. He is a seatbelt extension The exact same thing he's gonna bring it wherever he goes You said it's difficult to fly why is it difficult? Oh just cuz the legs fall asleep. Why is that they dangle? They sell though, and I bought one They sell these like foot hammocks, and you like hang them from the tray Oh, so that your foot stay yeah, yeah, and and I got I got one I used it for a bit

It was it was great, but then I don't know I felt so weird putting my little foot hammock Yeah, I know people look there you go. Oh, okay. Yeah, so you just you you put the foot hammock down and then I just realized now what's that like cuz I I Realized I was in this situation that you have to find yourself in all the time, which is I was at a NBA game and I was on the floor talking to people and two guys that were both like six, nine, so were having conversation above me

and I was like, this is so insane. Then I was like, hello, and they were like, they were here being like, yeah, man. And they just talked to each other up here. And I was like, so you have to experience that. Oh, it's like, yo, dude. Yeah. Crowded bars, they're impossible.

I just sit down and everyone's crotch height. And I'm just sitting there like, all right. So what I'll try to do is I'll try to get a bar stool, get on it. I'm like, this is my spot. I don't move. Everyone has'll try to get a bar stool get on it. I'm like, this is my spot Yeah, I don't move everyone. Yeah, but like yeah, there's definitely full-on conversations I've had people like reach over my head to like hand something to someone

You never feel less of a person than when someone's just like oh, there's a human down there Why when I asked I did Shaq's podcast Yeah, and I was like so like what's something that is so lame to you Yeah, because of it says like water bottles. It's so small This was like a plastic one though, yeah, he his hand went completely and he's went like like it was a juice box He his hand went completely and he's went like like it was a juice box They make him so focused mo I have I have one photo with Shaq and I love it Had me and Adam Ray got to play in the celebrity all-star game

Look at that and like we got to meet Shaq like we got a photo with a little kid. Yeah, it's insane It's insane. It's just like, thank God he's rich because he could afford stuff to fit him. Dude, I brought this up on a podcast once. Yeah. Thinking, I'm making like just like a general observation about imagine being this big and not having the athleticism and not realizing that it would resonate with some people who were like, yeah, man, this is, that's my life. Like people rode in and they were like, yeah I'm 6'10", and I'm not athletic.

And I'm not athletic at all. And I have to, and I get reminded of that because I'm sure when people see them they go, so you play like, you play ball? Or did you used to play ball? Did you play volleyball? They're like, nope. Nope.

And I live in a normal size place because I can't afford an 18,000 square foot custom home. Right. I have to have a large truck because that's what fits. That's the only thing that can fit me. Yeah. Now you, well I think people have become slightly more aware because of like little people,

big world and shows like that. Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff out there now. We have more representation, which is great. Although I did have to leave a party literally yesterday because I walked in and it was great for a while. I brought the family with me. And then there was this six year old girl who just ran up to me, like pointed at me at the party

and just like starts busting up laughing. Oh, jeez. Like just pointing, I'm'm just like I'm sitting there and my kids there and thankfully she's not doing my kid if she did it's my kid would have put a foot through her fucking face but like yeah but like I had to leave because I go I can't call this six-year-old girl a twat in front of this whole party yeah yeah I can't do it and if I stay stay, like, cause I have these things that I do when I talk to kids to make them kind of understand and it's not harsh.

It's very just like, hey, you know, that woman's got brown hair, that one's got blonde hair. So people who have different colored hair, different sizes, people are different. Isn't that great? And 99% of the time the kids are like, oh, okay, cool. Cause they just want an explanation. And then you get the one blonde girl from yesterday

who's just like, couldn't care less, I'm just pointing and laughing. And I'm just like, I can't, so I had to leave. Because I don't know where her parents were, but I left and then someone informed her parents and then the parents were horrified. And then they ended up paying for her meal. So that was very nice.

Shout out to them. We also live in a small town so I'll probably find out who it was very quickly. Well, just in terms of like show business too. I mean, how do you feel about the whole Snow White thing and not hiring LPs to do the job? Wait, so who? Yeah, let's go, let's go! I've got some fucking thoughts. Wait, can I ask this?

So, you're saying LPs weren't cast, was somebody else cast for this job? It's even worse, it's more egregious. CGI. Oh, they CGI'd it? Yeah, they CGI'd dwarfs. There we are. Aren't those good looking little people?

And what was the reason for that? The reason for it, now there's some misconception or some debate about what the actual reason is, but I believe, and I could be wrong, but I believe the reason is, literally, Pierre Dinklage was on the Mark Maron podcast. The Allah of Your World. Yes.

Yes. He is a very good actor. He's really good. I do love him. And I'm not a fan of him for this, but he pretty much said, cause Maron brought up they're doing a live action, Snow White.

Yeah. And Dinklage kinda went like, oh, I hope they're not doing the dwarf thing again. Like we have to deal with that. And I'm sitting here going like, well, some of us would like to deal with that, dink. For what?

Yeah, yeah. Some of us would like to have that opportunity to deal with that. Cause there's not that many roles. Like he's been amazingly successful. And I love that he takes roles that aren't written for dwarves. And they never address it in the movie.

And they never address it. When he hosted SNL, they never made one dwarf joke. Really? Which I found out from some friends that were cast members that that was one in the movie. And they never address it. When he hosted SNL, they never made one dwarf joke. Really? Which, and I found out from some friends that were cast members that that was one of the rules. He came in and said, no dwarf jokes. So I'm saying, Lauren, if you're listening, I can host. You'll make all the dwarf jokes you want.

Let fly. Let's go. I feel like that era is over. I don't think anyone would do that now. Yeah. Even if you went on with that, they were like, yeah, we don't really wanna. We don't wanna deal with that. I'd be like, but it'll be funny.

Don't you think too, like not hiring actual dwarfs, it just makes you guys more outsiders. Like instead of seeing you as people, whole round people and they chose to CGI. I completely agree. That's more offensive to me than hiring actual people. Yeah. Whole round people and they chose to CGI. I completely agree. That's more offensive to me than hiring actual people. Yes. It would have been cool for the actors to get work. So cool. That would have been great and if you want to you know make it a little more woke okay. Great. Make different gender dwarves. Make

dwarves of different races. Fine. Give people more opportunities. I'm all for that but I'm not for just being like nah Let's uh because there's not that many roles and if you look throughout the history of Hollywood The game is usually the same the game is whatever race you are whatever minority you are You start getting roles by taking the stereotypical roles, right? and then you slowly assimilate yourself and and then you because a Peter price are with dwarf roles I'm sure I mean he's in elf saying call me elf one fucking time and he does the dropkick and and he's in the most offensive movie ever made about dwarfs

which is which you know about oh a twinkle tiptoes tiptoes we've covered tiptoes in this movie and it has an accent that like starts off French goes to Hungarian I'm not quite sure what the accent is but he's in this fucking movie so the fact that you were in the most of fit by buddy I'm sure your listeners are tired of you talking about this movie I could do a few years I could do a class on this I think we talked about it a while yeah so the movie tiptoes it's streaming right now on Amazon Prime and it's the most offensive movie to dwarves. Unbelievable.

Because Gary Oldman plays a dwarf. Now when you say, how'd they get Gary Oldman to play a dwarf? Did they use some advanced CGI like Lord of the Rings? No, on his knees, and they tied his arms back. Yeah, they put shoes on his knees. Yep, Gary Oldman. In the role of a lifetime. I was Gary Oldman and in the role of a lifetime

The preview looks like an SNL sketch find the trailer. Yeah, I played it for McConaughey when he was here Yeah, I played the trailer. I would said he'd never seen it So that's Matthew Conohay and Kate Beckinsale gotta get going low job joke good there's one small problem get it I'm wrong I'm his brother we're twins are your parents it can tear them apart I think you're gonna let me know that everyone in your family's a midget. They're not midgets, Carol. Dwarfs. Whatever. Or bring them together.

Hey, welcome. I'm Steven. Aw, there you are. This is Steven's father, Bruno, and his mom, Katherine. And they're like, what the fuck? What the fuck? They're like space aliens. He's gonna prepare us for this, don't you think?

If you embarrass me, I'll never speak to you again, so just get it together, my girl. How does that part sound? I think maybe I'm pregnant. Don't you think if you embarrass me, I'll never speak to you again. So just get it together When the going gets rough, it's only the size of your heart You're not cut this great girl and you didn't tell her that her baby's probably gonna be lit I'm not like you we are so cute and that was Dinklage Bridget the midget. Yeah, Bridget the Midget's in there too. Did she change her name? Yes.

This is absolute chaos. The greatest fight scene since Robert De Niro beat up that one guy as a 78 year old Anyway, we get the point. Oh, yeah, that's it's it's it's It's in and if you keep going the joke you made earlier is they go through the cast and then they go and in the role of a lifetime Gary Oldman Plays a dwarf which by the way they put so many little people in the movie that It makes Gary Oldman's performance look worse because it's like oh, well, that's what an actual dwarf looks like yeah

Oh, here's when I showed it to McConaughey He was like what he's like I've never seen this things that I've ever seen. Hi. I'm Ralph. I'm his brother. We're twins. I think you're gonna let me know that everyone in your family's a midget. You know, midgets can't endorse. I've shown that to so many people and they're like, what the fuck did Esmé do this?

I'm like, no, this is real, dude. Like, what the fuck is happening? I think maybe I'm pregnant. Oh, well. Oh, no. I'm not even sure. Wait, the trailer's so good, I've never seen the trailer. I'm sure put a midget around here.

How does he not see the trailer? This is chaos, dude. It's... I mean, don't get me wrong. Patricia Archer. It gets really serious. Roll of a lifetime. Roll of a lifetime.

My god! Goldman! Tiptoe. Come on! What the fuck? That's real. The fucking balls of the VO guy to call that the role of a lifetime. You shot that movie?

Ah, yes. God, I love her. You shot that movie? What do you think we just watched? Holy shit. Yeah, so like that's what's out there and Dinklage took a role in that because that's what you do. That's what you do. Right, you have to earn the ability to be like,

yeah, I don't do those roles. Yes, like the same way with stand up, we've now earned the right to, like when someone says, hey, do you wanna do a bar show? I could get you free chicken wings. You go, nah, I'm good. So yeah, you have to earn that. So I would have loved to have played a dwarf

in the Snow White film. Although now that I've seen what happened, I'm like, eh, maybe I dodged a bullet there. How do you feel about LP porn? Good. Yeah. Do you watch a lot of it? No. Do you ever look at it?

No. Because if I want to see a dwarf porn, I fuck my wife next to a mirror and look left. That's what I do. How about when you were, you know were a growing, developing young man. Nah. Never. That wasn't your thing. I didn't watch the dwarf porn, but when I was a single guy, I'm really glad it was some

people's thing. That helped me out a lot. Did it? Yeah. You guys were talking about fetishes before I got on here. Thank God some people have a dwarf fetish that oh, yeah That got me through my 20s. There was a lot of ladies who were like I want to try this yeah, and when a When someone has a fetish and they see an opportunity to

Engage in the fetish like if the fetish is rare they are very determined So when a woman would come like because we would like if a woman came up to you after the show, there's like a, Hey, maybe will they won't they whatever. But when would come up to me after shows and be like, this is happening. Seriously? Like this is, this is happening tonight. And I'd be like, okay. I always wanted to do that. Yeah. Are you finding a lot of repeat people or was it just like this is like a dream. I've always wanted to try Uh, I had a little bit of a good luck Chuck syndrome for a while

So that references a wonderful Dane Cook movie where? Where Dane's character when he hooks up the woman the next guy? The woman hooks up with she marries. That was me for a while. Like I've got over 15 women that like after me they got married. So that I was like their last wild fling to be like I did something crazy. May I ask you not to say that you beckoned it or welcomed it. A lot of dudes come on to you too like homo fetish.ish. Yeah, like, I feel like that's a male thing, more than a female thing. They like the small hands.

Is that right? That's what they would say to you? Well, we were at a gay bar last week, and I can say that they had a fetish for your husband as well. Oh, I know it. Don't I know it? I got told.

Don't we all? I mean, you are a bear, so. One guy was like, oh yeah, you're definitely a bottom. I was like, excuse me. I like that you get insulted by it. Excuse me. I was like, excuse me. Yeah, don't get me wrong. He goes, you're definitely a bottom. I was like, excuse me. I like that you get insulted by it. Excuse me. Yeah, don't get me wrong. He goes, you're so innocent.

I go, I don't think you know what you're saying. Has he listened to the podcast? He was like, he was pretty drunk. Yeah. I was like, okay, buddy. Don't get me wrong, I'm firmly, I get it. I would be a bottom. I totally understand that. You that my ass my ass is spectacular

Yeah, it's did it's a it's not an ass. It's a shitter like it's a good ass. I've noticed Yeah, yeah, yes, I mean come on. Yeah, so I would probably be a bottom if I were gay, but in I I'm sorry I'm not gay cuz man. I'd be cleaning up. Oh, yeah Sometimes you just think about you're like I like yeah, I got the genetic and it was a dwarf But it was honestly it was very flattering Have men gay men come on you that just the comp like you're like oh these are like you cuz you don't hear women Don't shower you with comp, right? So like I mean I've been out and you you know you whatever you might sense that like somebody

Looks at you and they go that person is giving me a look but these guys were straight up like yes Can I tell you a thought I had actually today? I don't have many but this one thought you know Men in general you guys don't get treated nicely like you never like for instance. Yeah, it's really fucked up That's right. Give it up for the men everybody I'm being serious So we took we have a boat we went on Lake Austin Mm-hmm and Tommy's driving the boat being the nice captain for like hours And it's hot and everyone else is having fun Tom didn't have fun, and then we went out for his birthday

I didn't realize it was your birthday dinner. Otherwise. I would have bought brought cash credit card I didn't have anything and then he had to pay for his own birthday. And I was like, no, but it makes me sad because like I would be sad. And then I just thought like nobody admires and loves men. Nobody tells you guys how adorable you are. Let me get those socks baby. You can have them right now. They're not very stinky though. I don't want them. But nobody tells you guys that you're cute and pretty and stuff. It is nice. Thankfully I have a wife who does that a lot and it feels really great. It feels really good.

And sometimes you just got to hear, hey, good job. Sometimes when you come home with a check, especially for the job that we do that we never thought that we'd get to where we are Oh, we want to come home with a check and be like hey look at this and they go wow yeah look at that It's awesome. That's pretty great. That's all we need Occasional blow job, but yeah overall just say yeah pretty great. Well, you want to hear a great job Here's a low job. Yeah Now I regret saying that I feel like a doofus. Should we cut that out? No! No! I just noticed you always work and there's no glory.

You don't get the love. The kids like me so much more than they do. Do you know what I mean? I get treated so much better in the house. My daughter loves my wife. I feel like as men you kind of go like, yeah of course your mother is wife. I get it. I feel like, yeah, as men, you kind of go like, yeah, of course, your mother is like, I like it. I like when they obviously give me affection too, but I think you feel like, oh, it's really good and healthy that your kid goes, mom is everything.

Yeah, definitely. And don't get me wrong. But I love the compliments. I do, I do. People are just nicer to me like cuz I'm a lady Overall, I do admit that things are and I am a blonde lady. Yeah, it's really good like I Really people are happy to see me I walked into a grocery store something but smiles like it's pretty great

Can I tell the story about the last time we hung out of course you can okay? like you want last time we hung out those here in Austin and Saw that you were gonna be at the mothership, so I go yeah, let's Let's go see Christine at the mothership so we go and there's a little there's a little extra security there and making sure Who I am and checking an ID and everything like that. I'm like, what's going on here? And I get to the green room and there's a guy sitting outside the green room.

He goes, who are you? I'm like, Brad Williams. I go, who are you to see? I go, Christina P. He goes, hold on. Goes into the room. Comes back out. All right, you're good.

All right, okay, Christina's really doing well. Okay, this is great. And then I walk into the green room and there is Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner. Oh wow. And they were in the green room back there. That was such a cool night. That was insane.

That was insane. And I don't think, have I even talked about it on the show? I kind of talked about it in my act, I did a while ago. Yeah, well they were there. Not to hang out with me. Yeah. Yeah No, no, no, they're hanging out with I don't say who else it's fine delightful Delightful hang it was good hang. They're really nice people no matter what you think about the politics Ivanka is stunning and

think about the politics Ivanka is stunning and every answer is a beauty queen answer where it's like you've been you've been trained oh my god this is well this is unreal. Brad you know what I realized talking to Ivanka is what? Is it Ivanka? Is it Ivanka Trump? Ivana was the mom I thought Ivanka was the mom and Ivanka is the daughter. No, Ivanka is the daughter, no? Am I being crazy? I'm pretty sure Ivanka is the... No, it's Ivanka. Yeah, Ivanka. Okay, Ivanka. She's the daughter. Ivanka, she's the check.

But anyway, in talking to her and listening to her, like it really made me realize what a low-class donkey and how bottom-barreled my upbringing was. Like she went to the best schools. You know it. Like what you're saying, the po and her elegance trained. She's been trained media training Yeah, gorgeous. I mean her birth name is Ivana the Ivanka is the nickname it says there Ivana Maria von Also, so so we're both right. Okay, maybe it's like in Hungarian Christenka Yeah, that that was one of those.

Which is lovely. That was one of those holy shit moments. A tiger would always be the lion in a fight. Would you fucking stop with that? Okay. He's been on this for days. Fucking hell. Tiger would be a lion?

Absolutely. Wait, lion or lioness? Lion. Lion, yeah, I agree. Tiger, tiger, tiger, tiger. That's such a random, I forgot about that. Lionesses are the ones that do the hunting now now now it's a lioness I give I give her the I give her the edge, but a lion

He's just oh, I would still give it to the tiger really yeah But I understand what you're saying wrong a lion they call the king of the jungle you know that lions don't live in the jungle So what's the king then why is it the king of the jungle? It's just it's a misnomer It's just not it doesn't apply. No, I think... Okay, so then... AI says a tiger would win. AI doesn't know shit. AI puts downspaces on porn models. First of all, you know nothing about big cats.

Have you seen that? AI puts downspaces on porn models? Why are we not doing this all the time? It's a whole lane. This is what we should be doing with AI. That's what everybody's been saying, Brad. And now they have. It's a whole lane the whole thing. This is what we should be doing with AI That's what everybody's been saying Brad and yeah, they have oh no This is what's gonna further the technology sometimes the internet listen you would need an app you would need a pride Defeat a tiger okay

You're do you know where this came from you just don't know my son is reading this book the versus books like a You just don't know my son is reading this book the verses books like scorpion versus snake And they think they're animal books and they they fight so there was one that was lion versus tiger and we take teams the little boy my nine-year-old Tom and we read it we sit down together and Ellis and I are team lion Mm-hmm in this particular chapter of the fucking jungle without a doubt I know I go without a doubt. And we win. We won. I go, without a doubt, it's Tiger.

The book says lion, and I just said, we should never play this game again, because this is nonsense. No, and tell them what you did after, though. And then I pulled up. He's crazy. I did a bunch of research, and I did screen grabs, and I showed it to my son. And me, dickhead. You screen-shotted it, and then I wake up up the next morning and he's sending me all this literature

On how tigers would have done this much read this much read that I can't speak this much research for anything No, not a bit. I was so fired up on a project in high school. I was so fired up about it I knew I knew about what listen the tiger is bigger. Listen, the tiger is is bigger well size doesn't matter ways more they they they hunt alone they are more agile they jump higher it is a more ferocious solo cat and the idea that all things being equal the lion would win is absurd I will never accept it well Tom if you recall in the book the reason the tiger couldn't get a firm grasp on the lion's neck is because of its king. It's king like Maine.

That is a natural defense against such attacks. Fiction or non-fiction? Where is the book listed? Exactly. Yeah, there you go. You're petty? You're being petty? I'm bringing, listen.

I support this. Listen to me right now. Josh Zollo, I want you to book a big cat expert It's just so sad. You're petty? You're being petty? I'm bringing, listen. I support this. Listen to me right now. Josh Zollo, I want you to book a big cat expert to come in here. Stupid. Call Ron McGill from Zoo Miami. You know this? Is this real?

Yeah. Ron McGill, Zoo Miami, he's amazing. He knows everything. He could absolutely tell you this. Is he a big cat expert? He is a animal expert. He's a zooologist.ist. Yeah, he's he's the head zoologist at Zoo Miami. This is stupid, Tom. Listen, even though tiger may be physically more agile. Are you and Bert rich enough to make this happen? Yeah. To just have a tiger fight a lion? Yes.

Can't you just do this? You guys are buying like NASCAR's for each other. You can't buy a fucking lion? Maybe something to look into. As pets. we should be having them in our backyard. Why is there a Tiger King and not a Tom King? I do have a connection to somebody in the Middle East that might be able to make the connection. Lion King. I don't think I'll pay for it, but I think this Middle Eastern guy might.

Yes. They do it for fun. I mean, they did like, the UFC did fight Island or whatever to get around the COVID restrictions. That's what you could do. You and Bert buy an Island. Yeah. You and Burt buy an island. Yeah. You know, Poroso's island.

Sure. Come watch big cats fight. Yeah. Which I would sign up for if that were somebody else. That'd be fucking rad. Yeah. Dude, how come? We can make that happen. It's Texas. We can do whatever we want. Exactly.

Very true. Yeah, the South don't give a shit. Guys, good idea. Good idea. We're definitely doing this. Yeah. Alright, I'm gonna show you these clips. Okay. right. You tell me if it's horrible or hilarious. Oh Is this the- I hate this segment. Is this the influencers? Actually I changed my mind. I love this segment. That- that's hilarious just because it's like what did you think was gonna happen stupid?

Yeah, I like that. He, it's gonna be like splash But also like Even with however far you jump the water doesn't go from the shore to 30 feet deep Of course can I tell you that his problem here? I know I know this cuz I read about this Okay, oh see look see how the the hill is on a slant? Yeah. Oh, it's going down. Yeah. So he needs to jump further out to go down.

And he did not do that. He did not execute correctly. He's coming. Wait until the sea is really deep. I like the person that gasped the second he left, where they went, like, they knew. They saw the trick. They knew.

They're like, oh, no. Fuck, dude. Shit. The sound of him slapping, oh no. Fuck, dude. Hear that. The sound of him slapping on the sand is... Yeah. And then I... And here's the beautiful part about modern society. No one's running. No. No. No one's gonna go. They're just... keep filming.

Keep filming, dude. That's the thing. When the shit goes on around you, keep filming. Well, I gotta say, kudos to the cameraman that's This is how you want to watch a disaster happen with real clear composition We walk over to him I like to see if he's breathing yeah, no one cares Kindness stove oh it's a delivery all right. Is it delivery? This guy's like, you pick it up. Yeah. That's sliding. Oh! Yeah. You need a dolly, bro.

Yeah. So that was real pain. That was that. I have to give huge credit. When you get a scream like that, it automatically becomes hilarious. Like if it's a great scream He's in real pain that scream that scream should replace the Wilhelm scream Yeah, like you know what the Wilhelm scream is the will the Wilhelm scream just play it and then play the will Wilhelm scream and you'll instantly recognize it. Okay. It's the scream from every movie ever That's this guy that's a guy There you go That's the scream from every movie ever whenever anyone falls. That's this guy. That's that guy. There you go. Oh yeah. That's the scream from every movie ever. Whenever anyone falls, that's the scream they use. It's way better. Yeah. Yours is, or ours is there. Yeah. This one's way more authentic. It always bumps me out

to see like workers getting hurt. Yeah. Like blue collar people getting, cause my dad would tell me about these forklift injuries. My dad had a forklift business and dudes get like run over a lot. Yeah. And hurt a lot. That's why I tell jokes. Yeah. I don't wanna be in a forklift where someone can't see me and all of a sudden I'm impaled by a forklift.

Really rough. Which by the way, goes to a premise that I am working on which is I'm not afraid to die but I'm just sad that I won't be able to read the tweets the next day yeah because however I die is gonna be funny yeah I have yet to figure out a way that I would die I know cuz even if it's like a slow disease there's still gonna be jokes yeah oh come on yeah it's a quick accident was me tons jokes definitely like you don't think that if like a forklift impaled me there's not gonna be jokes. And if it's a quick accident, there's gonna be tons of jokes. Definitely, like you don't think that if like a forklift impaled me, there's not gonna be dwarf kebab jokes. Oh yeah. And you've heard them all, like you've heard them all on deck. Yes, so that's why if I do get a heckler and someone yells out something basic, like just like they yell out like, oompa loompa.

It's like, you think I haven't heard that shit? Of course. I've got comebacks, bro. Of course. Like it's not gonna go well for you. I was just helping you out, bro. Yeah Yes, all right. No we take our kids to these places. Oh the clock the climbing gym Yeah, fuck that guy's gonna go up. He's not strapped. He's not strapped in anything. He's gonna come down. He's gonna come down He's gonna come down. He's gonna come down. This is gonna hurt. Oh Jesus Christ.

He's solo climbing. He's way up there now too. I don't think there's a mat either. Are we at 30 feet right now? He's gonna explode into dust. There he goes. That was really loud. He's totally knocked out. I know it's not America That was really loud I know it's not America because here we have padded mats that you can all there'd be way too many lawsuits Yeah, we got foam pits and everything like that. This is like this is like an Estonia or something. Yeah, that's

I mean To the guy's credit. He tried to like spread out and do what you're supposed to do and like hit as much of your body on the ground as possible. Dude, he just stole. It's like a shotgun. I don't like this. Poland, Poland, yeah. Oh yeah, let's see how he did. Let's see what it says here.

He was 22 years old. He's practicing for a feet climb. 50 feet he fell. That's dead, right? He never hooked into the fall delay system. You're dead. We just saw a man die. He sustained a major con dead, right? He never hooked into the fall delay system. You're dead. We just saw a man die. He sustained a major concussion, but was conscious.

It was treated by firemen, EMTs. He made a slow full recovery. Wow. What? The gym is now under investigation for not properly making sure their customers are taking safety measures. Duh. This was in Poland.

Of course. In Poland. Yeah. He's 22, young guy, man. Used, they got the clips get it like I I use all the safety precautions now now that I got a kid. Oh my helmet wrist guards I'm doing and that's just a walk down the street. Yeah I got the whole thing. Oh

Well now that I know that he lived I can enjoy it a little more He's only had a concussion Is that what? That's insane. How are his lungs not flying through the back of his body? That's insane, bro I don't like that one. I think that's horrible. 50 feet is so far. It's very high because even if you hit water Maybe you jumped off a cliff, you know like cliff diving and you hit the water from 50 it hurts. Yeah done. Here's one more for you Fuck off. This could go poorly. I don't even know what we're setting up here, but I feel like it's not gonna go well That's hot asphalt Whoa a

Guy flew out of the truck wow Wow. Multiple air cart wheels. That was, yeah. I mean. But hold on, don't you feel like. The Russian judge gave it a four. Don't you think that injury could have been avoided? Yes, with a seatbelt. Well, a seatbelt would have been a problem. Yeah.

That was. Tips over and then. Like why are you flying out, bro? Wow. Full rotation, that's pretty awesome. That's. How many of you know out, bro? Wow. Full rotation, that's pretty awesome. That's, I don't even know how that happens. It makes me wonder if like as the truck's tipping over, if he's like, let me unbuckle my seatbelt

so I can get out. Yeah. And then he flew. No offense, you would have flipped like three times. Oh, easy. Once again, no way that's not funny if that's how I go. Oh yeah. Flying dwarf, make a wish.

Yeah, how did Brad die? Look, check out this video. Yeah. It's not funny if that's how I go. Oh, yeah flying dwarf make a wish. Yeah Had Brad died like check out this video Like you yeah, you thought your injury would viral. Yeah I mean if I had your injury but on a little tyke soup That would be just slip It would be insane it's gonna be epic no matter how I die. All right, Kristen, you wanna show them with you? Are you ready for my TikToks, Brad? Yeah.

I like to focus on the marginalized communities. Oh boy. Giving them a voice. There's no way that could be the tiger. Shut the fuck up. Well, that's a mountain lion. Yep, mouth kissing. Look how angry and annoyed that lion is.

I have. He's like, fuck off. Yeah, I don't know. He's not into it. I don't know if he does. I think it might be look like he's- Is that Tyson Fury? He's enjoying it. He's not in- I don't know, when I kiss our cat like that, you can tell when Munchkin enjoys it. He's tolerating it. I don't think he's enjoying it.

Look at the size of the paws. Like on his head. That's just- I don't- like- This sounds hypocritical coming from me because I live with two pit bulls that could definitely kill me But yeah, why would you why you see we find all these guys? Yeah, they're usually Eastern European or Middle Eastern Yeah, they'd have pet lions tigers Jaguars yeah, I something goes wrong, you need to get the gun.

Best case scenario- There's one dude that, um, he had people clearly at his palace, and then he just released his tiger into the swimming pool, they were all in the pool and they all were like, eeeh, they all start freaking out. Cause you would! Yeah. Cause that's a fucking tiger!

It's really crazy. I mean, I'm scared of like a small bird picking me up. Yeah, yeah. Like, that's what I have to worry about is walking down the street Oh, like like someone mistaken me for a for a small rodent. Yeah, and then there goes Brad That's not by the way, that'd be a hilarious way to go Larry is death. Yeah, there's some massive Yes picked you up. Oh, yeah Like hanging out like hey, it's a pool party fun

Homeboys like I got a fun thing to do. Pose for the pool party. And here comes the tiger. That guy's never moved faster in his life. Nope. Never. The fat slap in the ground is very funny. Yeah. That's always a good sound. Yeah, just get out of the pool so crazy. I would never swim faster

Like that is hashtag Arab hashtag prank Hashtag air pranks yeah that that see that's not a prank to me That's not that's not a hey April fooling out I let my tiger in the pool with you fuck that no I would never hang out baby it's me super small Skyler that's not small I know small you're not small Skyler I'm gonna be showing you how to mod baby Cassie's with adult teats. Simply only using your microwave, a cup of water, replacement teats, and either of these. I think we're good. I think we can see what else is out there. What? Don't you want to know how to modify it so that you can do it for your adult baby fetish?

I think replacement teats are playing Coachella this year. It could be wrong. It is a good name for a band. If someone could find out, look at the lineup. You know, I have to say, the people that are into adult babying, generally not attractive. They're not people. What are you trying to say?

I'm trying to say it's a non-attractive community. They're not. That's gonna get some, you're in the crosshairs now. Send me your, hey, are you like a hot adult baby fetish person? Send a pic. And be a genuine one, though, I want you to prove it now like those fart fetish girls pretty yeah, I don't buy it Now here's the question after you send your hate mail to Christine sure could you tell me?

Adult baby people mm-hmm. Are you mad? You're not a midget. Oh Why do you think they're co-opting your culture? Yeah? Are you mad you're not a midget? Oh, I didn't think that they're co-opting your culture. Yeah. This is cultural appropriation. Like, are you mad? Like, aren't you looking at me going like, if only I could have been a dwarf, then I don't have to.

And then there has to be dwarves that are into adult baby play. The god of baby play. God willing. And they're the gods. God willing. Because that's just like, also you save so much money, you just have a normal pack and play

Yeah, you don't have to have to modify the crib at all. You don't have to do this fucking stupid shit, right? Yeah, you're fine. Everything just fits you you could still fit in the Oshkosh stuff. I want you to change my dye dye You have to wear adult diapers, but would you what size diaper would you have to get? I mean like I said I got a dumper on me so It'd be a big one. Yeah. Yeah, it'd be like a big di di. Yeah, it's a big one. Yeah But yeah, like isn't that the life if you're a dwarf, but you also have a baby play fetish Then you got dealt the cards you wanted world is your oyster. Yeah, it's really awesome For 15 years and we still regularly have to check in

regarding transparency. And when I say transparency, I mean, how much do I tell my husband about what I've done with other people, and how much does he tell me? We have specific rules that we follow. We have a saying called privacy, but no secrets. But it's still not the same as how much do I tell you based on what I've experienced and how you're feeling?

Keep your hands still. Keep your fucking hands still, that makes me crazy. And afterwards I was like, oh my gosh, I want to tell you everything! This is what I ate and this is what happened, this is how I felt and oh my god! He said, I don't want to know the details. He said, Danielle, I'm really happy that you had a good time. I love that we give each other this freedom and this permission in our marriage But right now for the place that I'm in I don't want to know the details

Yes And that can be hard for me because I often feel that if I'm not Providing all of the information that I'm hiding something from my husband right now Same way, same way Hiding all the dick Like when I go on a date, Tom, and I've got that NRE, I just wanna share it with you. I want you to share the joy with me.

Like, what did I eat? And like, I sucked his dick. I love how the details of the date that she described, I found so incredibly boring. Like, what I ate, how we talk. I'm like, hey, if we're in this thing, get to the sex part. Let me get my dick out, get to the sex part.

Talk about that. I think he was like, I know what you did on this date and I'm good right now. Yeah. I don't need to hear it. I don't wanna hear it. Because it wasn't, by the way, it wasn't the food that he didn't wanna hear about.

Yes. He was like, I don't, you can tell me what you ate anytime. I just don't wanna hear about the details of you blowing this guy. I have friends that are in open relationships and the ones that are the ones that work Everyone is getting laid at about the same rate. Mm-hmm. The ones that don't work are the ones where hey, we're in an open relationship And ones get and ones get and the other is not it's a really good point. Yeah, if if there's that

And the other is not it's a really good point. Yeah, if if there's that Imbalance there. Yeah. Yeah, you guys get laid equally. Oh, yeah. Okay, good open poly by Awesome. Awesome. That's good. Like like like as long as y'all are keeping your numbers up at about yeah Yeah, then you're good. Then we're good. I love it. It's it's just all I think about is Yes, I have two children and whatever, and they don't mind when I go out and date. Thank God we have this open Polly mindset. We've got kids, these two, by the way. It's like, I don't know how you're doing.

And I didn't want to hear. It's the hands. The hands are just like, this story, this is a story about open relationships and I'm bored. How bad at storytelling do you have to be? Open relationships, and I'm bored to tears. Yeah, let's fucking Boo Yes

Love surge I love Surge. Nyeh heh heh. Really? Do you think so? Huh. I love you too. That's the kind of guy you see at like the don't let the pigeon kind of musical. Ha ha ha ha ha. The low IQ adults that are attending with their children. You know what I first thought of

when I saw this person doing this? I just think of the parents being like fuck. Yeah. Like his parents are like god damn. Can. Like, his parents are like, god damn it. Can you imagine being his parents and then you're at a cocktail party and then someone goes like, hey, so how's Danny doing? And you're just like, um, dead. He's dead. Or another parent like, you see this fucking dork?

And he's hilarious. It's your kid. Like, that's our son. Yeah. And then, like, this is what I like about your podcast. I like many things about your podcast Thank you, but one thing about the podcast that I really enjoy is you guys are bringing shame back Yeah, thanks, man, and I really appreciate that because we need shame again too many people are just like no

This is me. This is who I am I can do whatever and don't be yourself. No There's certain times certain certain parts about yourself, everyone's trying to live their authentic life. No. Keep some of that shit in. I say this to my mother all the time. Whenever she's like, well I can't help being who I am, I go, yes you can and you should.

Like don't say the thing that you think you can't say. You can not say it. Yeah. Just. You could just not. Here's the, this should be your new mantra. I'm can not say it. Yeah. Just. You could just not. Here's the, this should be your new mantra. I'm gonna not be myself. Yeah.

Well because when you think about it, you're bringing shame on your family, you're bringing shame on everything. And thankfully my family doesn't give a fuck, so I do and say as I please. But yeah, like if you came from a normal place, it'd be nice. Yeah, you don't have to share all your thoughts

No, and you don't have to definitely don't have to make videos of definitely don't like you know stuff happens in In the in the news and you have thoughts that might not be aligning you could just not not sure You want to do the Instagram video going like you know? These yeah crisis actors that were her whatever the hell your thing is Israel, Palestine these yeah crisis actors that were her whatever the hell your thing is. Israel-Palestine. Yeah, yeah. I've had a friend say Brad you you haven't posted about Israel-Palestine. I don't care. I'm gonna stop them from fighting. Yeah, they've been fighting for thousands of years but I'm gonna make one tweet and they're like hold on the dwarf said something let's check in. Somebody also

shamed tried to shame me about that that Yeah, somebody was like your silence on is the real is real in Palestine speaks volumes. I'm good Great cuz I also I don't know. I don't know I don't know I'm not I don't have the knowledge and I don't really trust the people to give me the right information So jokes about the ball smell need to weigh in on this conflict. Yeah, that's insane. Oh, I mean, you mean you have access to Ted Cruz. So in that way, in that way, maybe maybe you can influence some policy is a size 16, 18,

she's according to the CDC. I can't be true. But let me tell you something that's going to blow your mind. OK, airplane seats, the the ones were all crammed into They're realistically designed to fit someone who's a size six to eight comfortable That's based on seat widths of 17 to 18 inches and clothing size charts So let me ask you this if the seats aren't built for plus-size people and they aren't built for the average person Who are they even working for most people and here's what's wild most of you know these?

Who are they even working for most people and here's what's wild most of you know these seats are too small You thought it yourself how long is an airplane this woman's walk says it you nod along like yeah They're awful the second a fat person says it though Suddenly it's entitlement and let's be real. That's not about the seats. That's about you. Yeah, that's true I hate hate videos like this I hate videos like this that tell you what you think you've been on the plane And you've had a thin person be like these seats are too small and you've not in agreement, but no actually no I haven't That's never happened also. No one's gonna look at me and say these seats are too What are you talking about I'm gonna be like, what are you talking about? This is great.

This is fucking Cadillac we're sitting in. Duplex. I am all right. Yeah, this is nonsense. This is total nonsense. And as someone who frequently gets denied to do certain activities, there's a lot of activities I just don't get to do.

Yeah. And that's just the reality of it. It's just how the world works, right? Okay. We're not building everything for absolutely everyone. I mean, with this person, we've done it before and people get upset, but the truth is, it's kind of what you said,

this person just needs to be shamed. You should be shamed for being this size. And, you know, like what she needs to do is just go to a camp and drop. Lose some lbs. And also, by the way, America is really the only country that allows people to be fat and, oh, it's great. If you go to Europe, guess what?

Do you think they're gonna be cool with you being overweight? They shame you into losing the weight. You may not be in Asia, they'll shame the shit out of you for being fat. What they would tell her is like, yeah, you shouldn't fly, ever. Yeah, that's good. Even if it's a six like, yeah, you shouldn't fly, ever. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Even if it's a six day road trip, do it. Yeah, do it. There's a video, maybe you guys can find it, it came across my Instagram recently, about there's either a restaurant or a theme park where it's like the thinner you are, the more of a discount you get. It's awesome.

Like they have these doors, it's like, all right, if you can fit through this door, then you get 10% off, but this door, 20% off. And it encourages you to be thinner. Is that it? It's probably in Korea. Yeah. Yes, yes, there it is.

Oh shit, 100% off, do it. Oh, she's not getting through the 100%. Yeah, she's not getting 100% off. But she's getting 50. She got 50. That's pretty good. Good girl. Yeah, this is Asia.

This is how they roll, dude. And by the way, I'm not saying this to be like, oh, you can't feel, like, cause I get it, weight is hard, but it's like, we're doing this for your health. It's not healthy to be that size. And then there should be a thing on the other side of that where it goes, this is how much more you're gonna pay over Yeah, I mean like you get a surcharge mm-hmm if you can't fit through those you go to the next one like all right now

You're gonna pay 10% more and then 20% more and then that heifer in the Airplane you're gonna pay triple the price. Yeah, there's just some things and not everyone gets to do. Yeah, okay Oh my god, so I'm I'm listening to this hungarian Hungarian podcast. We like you practice listening in Hungarian Okay, and this girl moved from Budapest to San Antonio two years ago, and she's like I have gained 30 pounds Because I love nachos. I've never had nachos before and I love nachos Yeah, and all your American food is so tasty and I'm so fat. Yes, yes it is.

You go to Hungary, you don't eat like that. I did my first European tour last year and went to places like Copenhagen and Norway. And I was just looking around like there's no fat people. No fatties. And then you read the menu, it's like it's all fish, it's all like vegetables and stuff like that. You're like, oh, okay. Didn't see one Waffle House. No Nothing fries. Don't be wrong. I love Waffle House

I need to stop going there because it's too good. But yeah, I need it. All right. We have to wrap up If you want to see Brad and you should on tour go to Brad Williams comedy comm if you want to see his latest Special is called starfish. It's available now on YouTube. Can I plug one more thing? Of course. I just came out with a hot sauce. Oh. Death by Dwarf hot sauce. How hot is it? There's one that's a ghost pepper that's a 10 out of 10. And that's I tried it for a video that I'm going to be posting soon and it was not fun. But the other ones were really good. Mego habanero is my favorite. So just go to BradWilliamsComedy.com There's a link, Death by Dwarf Hot Sauce. There it is! Oh, that's awesome, Brad!

Made it friggin' hot sauce. And they're actual bottles! They're not like the little mini Tabasco ones, although we tried. Dude, that's awesome. You gotta send us some, we'll have it in the studio. I will! I will absolutely send you guys some Death by Dwarf Hot Sauce. Please! Yeah! Please. There's a lot of hot sauce collectors out there

You might have the offspring hot sauce or the lemmy hot sauce get a little kill me death by dwarf hot sauce It's good stuff amazing Thank you very much for coming in. Thank you. Congratulations on everything. Thank you guys, and we'll see you guys next week by jeans fellow Americans mystery And that is where all the cum is. I'm a rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock Hey! Grrr. Grrr. Grrr. Grrr. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ohhhhh. Slick stuff, neat stuff