Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Catherine Reitman-133-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: October 17, 2016

Oh my my, what a treat do we have for you. Fantastic, funny, a true delight - Mrs. Catherine Reitman joins us in the Mommy Dome. An old comrade of Tom's, Catherine fits right in like she's been in 1000 times. We get into Downton Abbey and oh heavens my is it simply delightful to converse with someone who appreciates all of Mr. Fellowes work. We discuss mommyhood (real), conflict, childhood, passive aggressive/sarcastic parents - yeah, real interesting, kid. Catherine shares what it's like to grow up in a wildly succesful family, but not turn out to be a huge a**hole - what's the secret? Listen and find out! Lots of Hungarian heritage in this one - BAZMEG!! 

Christina and Tom, they have shown that small man beyond love to do it As a sickness song about my favorite moms, I am also taking a shit So let's all go down to your mom's house They're gonna masturbate on your mom's couch Christina and Tom's your mom's house It's a world's best podcast, so shut your mouth I just have his email name, Benny Well that sounded as good as any Kenny Chesney song I've ever heard

That was better than a bitch for sure Way better than a bitch This one right now is from Michael Holstein So yeah, you guys have sent in a lot of music If you've sent it and you're waiting to hear it We have a massive bank of stuff It's fantastic, yeah, so it could be months before your song is played But it's not because we're avoiding you unless you send in some wack-ass shit

But actually, even then, we play it because a lot of times we don't have time to screen the song first So we just play it anyways Yeah, you'll probably hear your song no matter how good or bad it is It's usually better than a bitch It's usually, and that was really good, so thank you so much Now, Jeans, where, what? What happened there? Sometimes things happen, I don't know how to describe it

It's not what I wanted to happen Shit's all fucked up Shit's all fucked up, now see, right then, I fucked up And now I gotta find another song so that we can play some goddamn music right now But they got the music! Play the music! Do you want me to beatbox in the meantime? How about this right here? I don't even know what this is, let's see, this is from...

See, I didn't even listen to this ahead of time, I don't know what it is It's from William Heller And we're gonna, you're gonna hear it in a second William Heller Let's see, William, William Heller I like it already It's good So good

Listen to our talented listeners, my goodness Pull them up tight, I like this one Oh, yeah Oh, shit, I didn't realize Oh, I like that little Indian stuff I'm impressed Every song is more and more impressive I know

This is like the kind of song we came to talk over Oh, because of his lyrics, we're gonna talk over those lyrics too They're too good But we should definitely play this again Yeah, we'll play this in its entirety Okay, hold on, damn it Damn it I love this

Yeah, this is already his What do they call this genre when they sing like this? Dubstep or something? Reggae, mon Everything is Irene I like it, though Okay, can you fucking help me out here, babe? What do you need, sweetheart?

The song I like this song, I can talk now Somebody just sent in like 40 songs Oh, my stars All right, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna keep it gully right here Talk over this bit I know, but this is just...

I don't want to fuck up this guy's track, like he's making rippity raps You know, so... Was that shaggy? My go-to is this morning high stuff I think this is all... Of course, now I picked the one with lyrics It's all right Go ahead, where are you gonna be, Jeans?

Well, this news you're about to hear is gooder than a bitch If you haven't heard already, your mommies are coming to Tejas Yeah! So excited We're gonna do two cities, Houston and Dallas August 16th, we are coming to Fitzgerald In Houston In Houston

August 17th, we will be in Dallas, Texas at the Curtin Club Yeah, get her done Look, you gotta get tickets now Get tickets now Don't fuck around, please Don't fuck around And like we said in the last show You know, bring a friend

Get an extra ticket Support your Jeans Yes We need you to, you know, bring your own mother Your real mother Yeah Bring your brother, bring your roommate Bring somebody to the show

Bring your horse Let's make it Bring a horse Bring your dog, bring your cowboy It'll be awesome So, tickets are available People said, where are tickets? I thought we made it clear that tickets are everywhere

That we could possibly put tickets They're on our website Your mom's house podcast.com They're on my website TomSikora.com They're on Christina's website ChristinaComedy.com So there's plenty of links up to both shows

Just go to any of those sites And get tickets now Very exciting Alright, in addition to that, Mommy If you're listening now, I am at the Chicago Improv July 11th through 14th And then July 18th through 21st The Columbus Funny Bone

In Columbus, Ohio That's what's up And then August 1st through 4th I'm coming to Omaha, Nebraska The Omaha Funny Bone So it's quite an international time for me Excellent Well, right now, if you're listening

The moment this drops, as you're supposed to I am July 5th through 7th at the West Palm Beach Improv And West Palm Beach, Florida Next week, 11th through 14th of July I am at the Hartford Funny Bone July 18th through 21th I'm at the Toledo Funny Bone July 26th, one night only

I'm with Sir Joseph Rogan The Moore Theater in Seattle And August 1st through the 4th I am in Richmond, Virginia At the Richmond Funny Bone I'm from Richmond, y'all, from Virginia And from there, you know, we'll be in Dallas and Houston So get tickets now, thanks, Jeans

Look Wait, follow us on Twitter too At ChristinaP at TomSeguro That's where we usually post updates Yes, and you can also like the fan page on Facebook Which is facebook.com Slash your mom's house podcast Well, don't forget also if you haven't yet

Shopped at our store Shop at our store Go to yourmomshousepodcast.com Click on our store Get the wipe down collection Get maybe the top dog t-shirt Get Christina's CD Get one of my CDs

Tour posters They're there, the high and tight tour posters To Stevie retard, retarded poster Extra small posters Little posters You can put, they're your secret Under your big posters Triple XL shirts

Double XL's Extra large and obese people out there Shirts that you can wear around two people That's right Small shirts, medium shirts Alright, we got to get this going Guys, we love you This is a great episode

I think you're going to really enjoy it With our dear friend, lovely person Hilarious talent, Miss Catherine Reitman Enjoy the show and we'll see you On Wednesday of next week Bye, Mom Bye, my name is Nicki Clint Don't, I hate it

Hi, and there's so many other people I'd prefer to have die Oh my God What about the mean maid, what's her name? Sure, O'Brien O'Brien could kick it My least favorite is the most boring fucking character Can we swear on this?

Ah, and burp and free There's a lot of gas going on Oh, I can't wait to hear about it Well, what to hear about there? Yeah Note, note This, damn Watch out profanity

We're rolling, alright Gotta wash your profanity Are we rolling on this? Yeah, we're rolling Oh, thank God Okay, sorry, but finish your thought Oh, O'Brien can get it The most boring character on the planet is Bits

Mr. Bits Get Mr. Bits out of there He's so dull Ann really annoys me because he never defends himself Never, he's so prideful Is that what it is? But at a certain point, don't you go like You know what, your pride is bullshit

It's annoying Grow a pair of balls I don't feel like, you've said multiple times You could even respect a guy like that, right? Where he's like, I'm not gonna stand up for myself Well, if it happened once and it's like a likable trait And you're like, good for you, man Alright, we like this guy

But it's like non-stop with the pride And the ego going aside But what is the prideful What is the pride in not defending your own self? Is there pride in that? No, it's actually a very weak move Yeah, it's self-harm What, Dr. Laura would say

And I've been listening to her all day She gets it, he's a pussy And also, didn't he have a limp? What happened to the limp? Is it still there? Thank you, I just noticed that A lot of storylines left untold until a car hit Here's what I really like for a moment

I really like when Bates got locked up I don't know if this happened to you But there was a moment, an episode or two Where I was like, he's a fucking psychopath He killed her And I thought they were gonna go to... I was like, yes Like, I thought he was...

That was so great Anything to make him interesting I thought when he got released He was gonna be like, I killed that cunt And got away with it Every time we went back to the prison I was like, ugh I know, me too

Or a spinoff show that he's a sociopath Wouldn't you watch the Downton Abbey sociopath Spinoff show? Of course He like slowly jerks off Watching everyone upstairs I love that Can I just...

Have you seen the creator talk? Have you ever seen Julian Fellow's being interviewed? No Do yourself a favor Isn't he huge? You will see the worst teeth in all of show business I've been wondering where they are Okay, here's what he did

Here's a classic move I've seen tops perfectly capped White bottoms, yellowy buttery top part Super Britishy yellow Disaster Yeah, you're like, you're a creator of like Gosford Parks, hugely successful It's interesting there's actually not a lot of more fucked up teeth

On the show Because everyone has like a perfect smile They do That's like the tell that it's their bunch of actors That's totally true Maddie Maddie Perfect smile

Except for Elizabeth Montgomery, is that her name? Which one is she? Cora, the mom Oh yeah Notice when she smiles some... You're cheap as you could see it You would see it It's a little kitten that's like

Just stuck her tail in her own vagina It's so gross It's so coy She's got some dark, old-school cavity That's why she seals the lips when she smiles Yep And it's a permanent like Now Robert

Oh, fuck my asshole And why is she always so understanding with him? By the end of the season you're just like This guy is the worst He's financially irresponsible Yes He's a terrible father figure He smooches the lady

That's what smooches the maid Yeah Oh, and the other most boring character in the world Is the one who's like I'm in love with him What's that little Irishy girl? Daisy Daisy

Daisy Daisy Daisy Daisy Yes, Mrs. Patmore But I don't love him But I don't love him Oh

Take over the farm and get the fuck over Take the money and run Get the fuck out of the house Maybe the assistant cook for her To that big fat fuck I don't want to be a cook all my life Mrs. Patmore Mrs. Patmore

Put that on my eyesight Oh, it's separated The eggs separated in the cream I don't love him You can't use a melon spoon for soup I'm so sorry, Mrs. Patmore But I don't love him I mean, who's the guy that she falls in love with?

William William And he's dead I love The fake William I don't love William Then there's someone else she falls in love with But he loves the girl who's incredibly unattractive

But everyone pretends as attractive The gay character Thomas No, Thomas She loved Thomas first No, Thomas is the lust of this new guy Who looks like a homo, but isn't Oh, yeah, he's not a homo

James James So pretty People called me Jimmy Well, you'll be James in this house That's right That's eyebrows McGillicuddy What's his name?

Carson You will be James when you're here Why? You know, when we were on vacation We spoke with a psychiatrist about the show It's healthy Yeah, he made it interesting We brought him with us so that we could enjoy our vacation

We said, we need to talk to you 24 hours a day I can't go a week with a single shake It's very healthy So he goes, you know what? That show is so boring I go, well, what are you talking about? He goes, yeah, because there's no emotional stakes Get a new psychiatrist

There are so many emotional stakes in that show What was he missing? He goes, there's no confrontation I didn't agree with him I don't agree there He's like, you know, a really good movie, like Furious Five Is he like a Vin Diesel fan? How is he missing out on the emotional relevancy of the show?

I think there's no direct conflict But to people like me and Tom Yes, I don't like confrontation I'm never gonna do it So maybe for me it's like Will he or won't he use the right knife? I don't know It's a very

I grew up with passive aggressive too Did you? Where it's like, it's all through like But my family was all joking humor Correct Sorry, not joking humor Anger and humor Like, oh, you're gonna sit there really?

Oh, that's so you Like, there's the joke right under the carpet Right, right I feel like shit all day Oh, no, and you never, it was never brought up again Wait, let's get into this Hold on We gotta play our show open

We always play a show open Oh, fucking, sorry We gotta say who our guest is Everybody's like, who the fuck is this voice right now? What the fuck is happening? Our wonderful guest today Is lovely actress and absolutely Just charming human being

A joy, a joy to have in the home Miss Katherine Reitman Yay Welcome Welcome, Kat Welcome, Kat Thank you And if we might point out

You're the very first pregnant mommy Yep, a real mom That's so crazy for the real first real mommy, huh? Well, we've had Marilyn Rice Cub Who has a child who's four But to have one that's being incubated right now Right, someone's baking in me at the moment Knockin' on the door

It's so great, we've so much to go over So much to cover Let's start the show, here we go Can you turn that off for a little while? Come on, man It's too loud, you're too old Don't you like music? Yeah, I do

But I can survive for a few minutes without it Arguments Problems Conflict You'll find them in every workplace Whose side are you on? Keith, Sir Charlie's How could you try to understand the other person's point of view

And solve this problem? Let's see if Keith and Charlie can learn to see each other's point of view Now I'm asking you nicely Please, just turn it off Look, you're usually up front in your office I'm back here all day This is my workspace Could you please turn it down, at least?

This is rock and roll The whole point is to play it loud You can turn it off No This shit is big time Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone lovin' to this Don't burn me in the fuckin' stands

Welcome Welcome to your mom's house With Don Segura Christina Pizzi Christina Pizzi Welcome to your mom's house All right Such a sexy opening

You like that? Very sexy How'd it make you feel? All sorts of things It actually brought me back to the Michael Jackson Black or White video And McCulloch Culkin was jammin' too loud upstairs on his guitar Yes He's like, turn it down

And he's like, I'll show him That's right, I remember that And then he was on the roof of a car all of a sudden, rapping It made no sense I remember in smashing Black or white Incredible video It's crazy

We're so proud and happy to have you Oh, thanks We even, dare I say, fixed up the place We took the dog sheets off the couch for you Well, thank you Because we knew your special person You didn't want to see our filthy dog sheets I'm in love with your dog

Doesn't need the bath I kind of wish I could find those sheets where you put them Because I'd wear them home I mean, this dog is adorable He's adorable He's got a good face The Fifernator I also have a flat-faced dog

Yeah What do you have? Does he have an underbite? No No That's too bad He had braces No

He picks it Sure It's yours I have a Shih Tzu And a Shih Tzu Bijun blend Is that how you're supposed to say it? Everyone says Shih Tzu That's not how you're supposed to say this

No, I just love saying Shih Tzu Because when you look at him He's such a little Chinese ambassador He's so serious My big joke as soon as I have a few drinks with him He's like, Shih Tzu Shih Tzu Exactly

Shih Tzu is fine Okay, all right Well, some people, we have a Brussels griffon Thank you That a lot of people say Brussels griffon Right If you say griffon, they're like, what are you? Like a dot nabby

Actually You're like, all right The accents on everything Just makes people sound obnoxious Of course But real Brussels loves Yeah Lovers

If you say Brussels griffon They're like Do you even know anything about the thing? You're not allowed They'll take your dog away Yeah You have to say Brussels griffon

That's how they say it at the Kennel Club too The griffon Yeah, sip your tea with your pinky out So we were just getting I mean, first of all That would play that intro for conflict We were talking about conflict Interesting

Yeah, good job A lot of how do you resolve conflict When your co-workers play rock and roll too loud Right What do you do? Do you tell them Keith, I want you to turn that down Please

In your house It would have been a joke It would have been a joke How about you turn that a little louder That's painful Was it among everybody? Parents, siblings, everything Well, Dad ran the show

Yeah And then everyone learned from Dad That passive aggressive Because Dad could get away with it He was a powerful dude Yeah And so we saw him be effective in meetings that way And we're like, oh

So I was in kindergarten Throwing passive aggressive humor at friends And they were like Wow, that's really advanced for a kindergarten No, I know Because if it's one thing kids understand It's sarcasm Yes

Backhanded compliments Absolutely Yeah Subtle humor is very popular Telling them like a five You're like, yeah, it is an interesting story It does It does

I'll wonder for them Well, then when the word not came around Oh, the not joke You can imagine how it changed my world Yeah So your Dad was Set you up on how to do this I'm making him sound like such a prick

And he was such a good Dad No But it was There was definitely That's how he I mean, he's like Not to get super dark here But he was

The direct I mean, his parents were right out of the holocaust Right So there's a lot of like Deep seated Like not Where Eastern Europe, right? Your Dad?

Where's he from? Czechoslovakia? Yes, he is Hungarian roots Okay, right here What's up, girl? No, yeah Dude, and cause I grew up

My father and my mother escaped Actually, we're gonna have my dad on The bonus I love it Oh my god And he was retelling the story of his escape Of his childhood From Hungary

And I had to fight the tears Like, I don't know I don't think you noticed But I was very quiet Cause I was like And I understand that Cause all that pain and suffering Gets passed down to kids

Even not It's in the blood Consciously It's an unconscious transference I think I have a PhD in psychology, obviously You're so smart Thank you

I see a therapist Thank you But yes, you pick up on all that darkness It's in there And even gets passed on to you, dare I say Which is probably why you're funny Well, I don't know if it's that Or what, or if I am funny

But You're hilarious Thank you very much I just transferred that sort of Grieving And the not dealing with it That's the biggest, yeah And then it also was a lot of pressure

Like, you know, in our case I'm pregnant We're having a son And like, there's all this pressure to have a brisk Because you've got to like, you know There's only so many Jews left I'm sure, yeah, yeah, yeah You know, we have to like keep the story alive

And if your descendants from Holocaust survivors There's even more pressure, right? Oh my god I remember being like Six years old interviewing my Najmama is what we called her Najmama, again

What's up? Yeah, man I interviewed her for Like, you know, some school project And she was like Why do you want to talk about this? And I'm like Please just tell me a story

So I can type this up I don't give a shit You know, I'm like I'm just a kid And I caught a glimpse of her tat Oh Yeah Yeah

And it got real And all of a sudden I remember being like Wait, what happened? Are you really cool Or did something horrible happen? Why do you have a tattoo? And then, you know

Like, she was bald the whole day Oh, yeah Yeah, both Najmama and Najbaba Again? Separate camps Both managed to escape Which is about as rare as it gets

Both found each other and got married Found each other Well, they were engaged before They got taken to separate camps Oh It's like a It's like a crazy epic story How is that not a film?

How is that not in Downton? I mean, up the plot What the hell is Bates up to? So That's emotional state They are both Are they in camps in Hungary? They are both

And one is in Auschwitz And one is in Oh my god Forgive me, I can't remember The name of the other camp If I had my school report I would know everything right now Do you want me to guess?

Just kidding I could rattle them off And we could play this fun game We could play this horrible game Yeah But they were both in separate ones And they were set to be They met, were in love, engaged

Taken to separate camps, escaped And got married That's crazy And then they escape And go to what, Canada? They did They first escaped communism It's like a long, crazy tale

It's the same story Is that right? And then to Canada And then to Canada That's where you went, okay Where in Canada did your parents go? Windsor, Ontario No kidding

And my father said When he saw Detroit That it was the most beautiful place He'd ever seen I love it True story He said he drove over the bridge And saw this city

And these guys Leaning on their Cadillacs And they had feathers in their hats And I thought This is where I should have been born The most beautiful place This is the most beautiful place Detroit

That's how bad Hungry Is he still in Detroit? Hell no We moved here right quick 1988 The whole family was here In Los Angeles

Yes, I grew up here In the valley, yeah So wait, so what year did they leave The old country? Are we talking Hungary now? Or Czechoslovakia? Czechoslovakia And then I believe it went

I don't know exactly They ended up in Toronto Okay Toronto Toronto Yeah Everyone in Canada says Toronto Yeah, exactly

If you see Toronto Yeah You're like some weird Definitely Tourist Like you also say Montreal Yes, exactly Montreal

Oh, excuse me My mother's French-Canadian So she would say She'd keep it quiet Definitely But yes They didn't move to LA My parents moved to LA

Once my dad had like his first hit He was like later Face dog Get the fuck out We each have foreign parents You know that? That's so weird That's right, Peru

A little more hungry And more hungry So crazy Very hungry Very hungry Okay, how about Okay, so just in case somebody Doesn't know who's listening

So your dad He talked about having his huge hit Ivan Reitman Yes Very, very, very well known Just a little independent film Little guy He made this one movie

Tiny movie Never heard of it And then that was it That was the last hit he ever had And then Then he died Then he died And then twins

And Jesus Christ I mean, I'm actually Like it's actually Such a ridiculous list It's a cool list And it's A bunch of comics

Yeah A lot of movies that You know, we all grew up on 80s and 90s And then some movies that Didn't do as well But he actually just Wrapped a film

Directed Cleveland, he directed it Oh, great As starring Kevin Costner Wow Called Draft Day And it sounds really, really cool I read the script

Did you? Yep Kind of a cool script, right? Very cool About NFL That's right If you're into football This is your movie

That's cool I didn't know he was doing that I just read it a while I was throwing around I wanted to do this football idea And so somebody was like You should read this Just to see what's out there

Right now But more importantly Ghostbusters No, Ghostbusters is amazing But this is what I wanted To get to The best movie of all time I would say that

That is probably one of The most seminal comedy movies For me I can recite Symmetrical books acting Just like the Philadelphia case Of 964 No human being

With stacked books like this Like everything about that Fucking movie Is genius, brilliant Do you prefer it to the sequel? Of course Am I not supposed to? No, no

You're absolutely supposed to I think it's because of When I was born Because for me It was like in the house That was the movie that was happening Two? Number two was?

I was born actually During twins That, by the way Sorry, stripes 1981 Stripes But the movies that I grew up Because you know

You're an infant Of course But the movies that I grew up Sort of watching Were more Ghostbusters 2 Kindergarten Cop twins Those are the movies that were Kindergarten Cop

That's when I was on the set Being like this is normal Right, this is life This is normal life This is life It's so crazy When you hear about in Hollywood Or in television film

Somebody having magic touch It really is such a list That you go He's just got something Like a credit to him Where it can be Another hit Another hit

Like it just hit After hit It's crazy Absolutely No, he's a crazy talented guy And he's so If you met him in person Which I know you have

He is so incredibly intimidating So serious And the fact that he has this Like kind of incredible Inner comedic language Like he really understands How to communicate To actors

In a comedic way Sure But when you're talking to him He's just the scariest bastard I remember going home From school plays And him being like You were okay

Oh my god And I would be in the back seat Like Okay Like Really, you were okay? I was so So he was giving you straight up

Oh my god I haven't gotten hardcore notes Since Paul Which is my biggest question Let's do this Best thing, worst thing About being Ivan Reitman's daughter Or having Ivan Reitman as your father

Let's do that Would you believe it or not I've never played this game Well, welcome to your mom's house Welcome to your mom's house You guys are the best I'd say the best thing About being Ivan Reitman's daughter

Is that he's an awesome dad And I'm not just saying that And especially I'd say in the last like Eight to ten years He's grown I think there's something about Getting humble

You know, like when you have Everything coming at you And your career's doing amazing It's really easy just to Commit yourself to that And like he was a great father As a kid But I think as the sort of ups

And downs and realistic You know Humbling happened in his career He became an amazing dad Like in the last few years He's been like really close to him I probably talked to him A couple times a week

That's great He's incredibly supportive Not to mention he's You know, he's really critical of me Hyper critical of me But he's also It's given me an incredible thick skin You know, like as an actor

You need that, right I can only imagine that As a stand-up for you guys I don't have the balls for that But you have to be really strong But that kind of emotional stripping Your mother's highly critical of me It does work

It functions good and bad Obviously Because it does It undermines I'll speak from personal It undermines my confidence And all that stuff On the other hand

It gave me the resilience To be super confident About things I knew I was good at That's it When you do nail it You know you nailed it You fucking know it, dude Because you put in the work

It's a confirmation Absolutely You don't ever bullshit yourself And you know your strengths And you know your weaknesses Like the shit I'm not good at Which is a lot Like if I get near it

I'm like, no I'm not getting near this This is going to be a disaster Like I know when to go This is not my game And when I do strike something out I'm like, that's mine Right And I think too

The older men get Like my dad hit his late fifties And he softened a bit Is that it? Is it just the age they hit That they count? It could be My tough uncle Dave

Yeah, rock-biter No, no, no Uncle Dave Oh Dave, sorry Dave, Christina Sorry, I was thinking of Your other evil No, but

I'm not evil Jesus He's just crazy He's a little hard He's killed a lot of people Yeah But Dave, I always remember Just being like

Such a tough guy When I was a kid Like he just seemed You know, just rough around the edges Now, like Catherine would walk in the room And he'd be like, you're pregnant That's beautiful

Like just He cries all the time The emotion The emotion that happens There's such easy cryers Such easy cryers I'm going to tell you right now That my dad cried during the movie

Dream Girls Oh Really? Yes, and I could not stop laughing I thought you thought I thought you just said Showgirls for some reason Showgirls

That would be so much better It's part Elizabeth Berkeley Like Throughout the whole Obviously, Christina No, the part where she's like Liz, what's the big show Stopping number

And I'm telling you And you're gonna love me That's right All of a sudden I hear And I look over And my dad's gone Really Really

And he pauses the movie Because we're at home And he gets up and he goes I just It hits me when something's beautiful And I was like This would not have happened Ten years ago

No It's just way tougher Exterior And did you go You fucking faggot Did you punch him in the arm Call a fussy faggot I punched him right in the dick

I punched him right in the dick No, that's the other part Is when my dad starts crying Partial profanity I start crying immediately When I see my dad crying Oh, of course Of course

Something about it Everything's done Now, when I don't see cry Is my top dog, my dad No I don't see him crying He's not a crier No

He's tough Yeah, it's funny He's not like a hard-ass dude To be around But he's just not very Emotional Yeah Disconnected

Well, a little bit Yeah, I mean he's I love you, kisses me, hugs me So he's not like a cold person At all Right But in my life Is he very religious?

He's pretty religious In my life I've only seen him cry A couple of times And it wasn't like heavy crying It was like A tear accidentally fell Yeah, he doesn't cry a lot

Definitely When you do see him cry Are you rocked? Yeah I remember so hardcore When his dad died I remember being in his room In Minneapolis

Where we were living at the time And like He had, you know, a tissue He was crying He was crying because His mother was alone You know, he's like The worst part about this

And I was like, she's And I was a little kid I was 10 years old So, yeah, that really I hate when they cry I just hate it Oh my god, it's too much Just be parents forever

Exactly Stop being people Yeah, and I don't want to get to know That you're flaws It's too much for me Wait, we got to explain I'm doing a horrible job Of explaining the backstory

How I even know Catherine Catherine and I Know each other Over 10, 11 years Wow No, yeah, 10 years 10, 11 years now 2002, yeah, so that'd be 11 years

We did ground links together Yes, and Yes, and Making choices Do your space work And I was telling Christina today I look back At like

Those first class group people The few that I still, you know Keep contact with Which is very few But with like The kind of fondness That you look back on like College

Oh my god You know, friends It wasn't a particularly special group It was a special group And I was telling her Tom is just so funny Christina, I mean I've never

Oh, he's always funny I know But he was I was dating a guy In our class I think I know who Yes, and Of course

We were very in love And everything was great But I think that Tom Was the one guy He was jealous of Because every time Tom got up I would just lose my shit Tom is just so fucking funny

Oh yeah He's been funny Since the beginning Even in stand up I used to run an open mic Back in the day I would always have him Close out shows

And this is like Two years in to stand up When all of us were Just flailing Right Do you still do this The middle finger Not to you

That was to the car behind you No, that's an old one But you know my old stuff I tell people I tell people that joke Where I'm like I flicks them off And they haven't got

Thank you No, we had a really great class And a camaraderie And that's actually How I got to know you And your family More to you saying That you have great parents

I mean like I remember No matter what was going on When you had a birthday There was a birthday party And your dad could be They're so supportive In Vancouver And you'd fly down

And like be there And your mother And your sister Were all like I still remember Birthday parties Were like a big thing And everybody from the class

Would go to your birthday party So it was like For me Being a new person in LA It was like a new Like it was the only group Of people I knew Was just from going to ground

Links I didn't know anybody In LA Nobody So Yeah, it's weird when you cook Because I think that's actually A very LA thing

The family is still You grew up here I did, yeah Did your family Come to all the events Were they very involved In everything No

Really? Are you kidding me? You're lucky You gotta meet my family No, actually no My parents Were just trying to hold it Together

I think They came to this country And they were just trying To make shit work But I was gonna say to you That You know I grew up In the San Fernando Valley

Around a lot of kids Whose families were very famous And I have to say Of all of them You guys are probably The most balanced That I've witnessed I think I went to one

Mad Men party You had ages ago And I met your mom Who I like loved And I thought These people are Pretty normal for show business You guys

They're very Canadian Is that what it is? I think so Because we grew up around A lot also Of I guess famous people And their kids And I thought

Most of them were assholes Total I went to boarding school To get away from them Which one did you go to? I went to a school called Kate Is it in Idaho?

It's not It's in Santa Barbara Why did you think it was in Idaho? Cause I know Like a lot of kids That ended up in continuation Or in like Survival camps

I love that you were like I had to get away from them So I went to survival camps Oh no not that I can build a fire But they end up getting sent there Sometimes Oh right no this wasn't a rebel move

This was like I gotta get the fuck out of you guys But why This is more to the point Why aren't you An insufferable asshole Right Shouldn't you be?

We talk about this constant No you're not Come on No way I don't know I think there are also Because there's kind of two roads to take And my brother and I

Have talked about this a lot It's like You all Every time you enter a room Right People have these preconceived notions Of who you are And this goes back to your game

Of worst part And best part of being The worst part about being Ivan Reimann's daughter Is that people think They know who you are And not in a good way Right

So you have to sort of Work twice as hard Spoiled fucking asshole lady That just came in the room Right exactly Exactly And I think you have to If you care

Which I mean Listen there's a reason A lot of them become drug addicts Kids of And a lot of Them just become assholes Most I grew up with Because they're like

Junkies Yeah But if you You know If you're a hard worker Or if you want to be You want to Earn your own spot

Outside of the shadow That is your father You know You have to sort of Work twice as hard And prove that You're a good person And be humble

Sure But you did a good job I mean it seems like And you're That's credit to them too Right To your parents They must have done

They didn't let you guys Be They were fantastic Like back talking shitty No I was called a smart ass Almost every single day Growing up

And I don't think I was that bad Really I think too That you guys actually Work Because I know A lot of kids

When they grow up With money Or whatever They They It always killed me I'm gonna be Fucking honest here

When I grew up I grew up Kind of working class My dad's a forklift Mechanic And I grew up Around these kids Who just seem to have

So much And they never Earn anything And they fucking Not only that That obviously Yes I'll be honest

They never did Fuck all with it They never I knew kids that Had so much wealth They never went to Go to college Or never traveled the world

Or never started Any businesses And you're like dude I know so many of those kids too Right Like what I wouldn't give To have But it seems like you

And your family And you and your brother You actually Did something With the tools And the advantages You were given Which is a testament

To your family That's a huge compliment Thank you Well I give them Now how did you guys Understand I don't know if I can wrap My head around it

I don't know Maybe I can't Totally wrap my head Around it either Because you're in it You lived it I can say though That I have witnessed

Like There is a Like I'm unsatiable As far as like I never feel like I've earned something And it's truly mine

Like I just bought My first house And I worked My ass off to get it And I've been working Since I was 15 And I mean Not to say that

My parents Haven't been My job If I If someone compliments me I mean You always feel Like you

You never quite feel worthy Of it Because there's so much Predetermined judgment That comes with it Why do you think People are assuming What do you think

People are assuming Well that you're Like a spoiled asshole Or that Untalented Or Not hard working You didn't get this

You didn't get this Because you deserve this You got this Because you're a captain Rightman That's right And you know people And now I'm watching it

Happen to my husband Very handsome man By the way Incredibly handsome A good Jew But people truly Like they're like Oh excuse me

Oh you got that Because you're Katherine's husband Oh right And now he's getting it And he's just He's in full Like flip out mode over it

And I feel like Oh he's like You know 25 years Behind me on it So I'm like Oh it's like I'm giving him therapy On it

Cause he's producing stuff That's right And he just directed His first project And I think it's A lot of pressure on him And my dad came And watched it

Oh no I know Was that a stupid move I mean he was supportive But he was really critical Was it Did it make a short Or like a TV thing

Or a feature No he made a sick We wrote a sitcom together And we shot it And we raised money for it And we did the whole thing And it took us about Two years to make

That's incredible And my dad Sat down and watched it In the edit bay I couldn't be anywhere near Of course there And he was He was very critical of it

He thought it was great And he also Definitely criticized it And Phil came out of it Shaking He shook his hand He was like Thank you so much

And I mean they have this great Relationship Thank God But afterwards I remember looking at Phil And being like Oh you didn't get this Because his parents

Are sweethearts from Chicago Of course They didn't give him criticism The best thing ever The best thing ever Like the invaluable Like you can't even Begin to wrap your head around

How valuable it is To have your dad Tell you Here's what is wrong Or what I think You should change Or what I would fix Or the flaws

That is like That's a million dollar Bonus To have that Because he's very tainted When it comes to me And there's like sex scenes It's like an HBO type of show

Oh I got you So he definitely Washington was like What are you doing stripping in it Like he's I think he definitely Had a lot of issues With my character

He didn't understand Why my character did A lot of things Because it's his daughter At the end of the day It's his baby Of course I know I understand that

But I still think That like anybody That shoots something 100% To get that feedback And have it be honest Not like I love it

Like to have somebody Be like Here's what I really think That is credible It's amazing Right That's an amazing thing Yeah it does have to be hard

I mean I can't imagine I'm thankful that my parents Don't really get what I do Like no matter what I accomplish They don't really give a shit I think that's amazing It's like those parents

They're like You did what Oh yeah Amazing Oh no no no I don't get that I just get like What

Like when I When I became a writer At Chelsea Lely That was probably One of my big show business First jobs Yeah it's huge And they're like

What do you see Lately It's a fucking show And it's a late night It's a kind of a bit Ah Is this cable Like it

It didn't make sense That it never registers No matter what I do So I'm kind of Given up on their approval Do you think because of that Though on some level Yeah oh for day one

Yes Yes but at the same time I would love their approval And I just It's never gonna fucking happen But anyway to live in that Shadow is tough Now what do you think of

What do you think of Cause I'll be honest With fucking Will Smith You might be friends with that family I know they live In the valley Did you grow up in the valley

No No Okay He's pushing It looks like He's pimping these kids out Pretty fucking hard It's the weirdest thing

You guys Right so now How did the show business Voluntarily I think in an age When you kind of Could figure out What's what

What do you think of that I think it's too much Man I mean I'm doing the show For VH1 called Miss You Much Sorry I'm like Dropping it

No please What are you talking about That's the point It starts airing July 19th Okay But it's Kid stars basically

It's kids we grew up watching Oh no It's the cast is saved By the bell It's You know it's All these people And all of them have one thing in common

They were famous When they weren't ready to be famous Yeah That's terrible And I will credit my parents In that I was definitely six years old On set Watching famous people being like

I definitely want to do this Yeah And my parents were like Fuck no you're not doing this You're getting a college degree Then you can do whatever you want Yeah So that was

I was not allowed to do anything I mean I got little like Stupid bit parts Because I was on set for three months But I had to get a college degree And I'm so grateful Because now after interviewing All these famous kid stars

Right And they're all missing a little something Dude you can tell that That Will's kid You're gonna have Will Smith's kid On your show You can tell that That he's like

They're really pushing Way It's way too fast There's a disconnect that happens Totally And they never like I was an incredibly awkward ugly kid With like more teeth than mouth

And you kind of need to Go through that phase Yeah You can't be awesome your whole life No You have to fucking learn How to get a character Jayden confessed

Jayden Smith confessed That not too long ago Not too long ago He had such a problem That he was going to Cartier every weekend Yes I wrote the same interview It is so crazy

That interview was so crazy What do you mean? He had to drown his sorrows And shopping at Cartier I was out of control I was out of control It was at Cartier every week Oh I can imagine

It was this interview That he and his father did together After the movie After Earth came out Yes And they start talking about How life is full of rhythms We read this interview Oh yeah

This is the best one And there's formulas Yeah The physics and stuff And you all of a sudden realize Like that when you go into that house It's just like going into like a drug den Like out of their fucking mind

They're in the Kool-Aid It's been crazy Now But that's Hollywood bullshit People who fucking believe their own bullshit Right To your credit you've booked so much shit Since I saw you start as

A little miniature actress at 21 And you've done so much stuff I don't know about that You have And then a lot of people Know you from Sunny From Maureen Ponderosa You've done a number of episodes

But I think what you're most Most known for is That episode of Frank Advice That you did Get one You mean the peak of my career The Oscar moment of your career If you will

Do you know that's one of the favorite things That Phillip has ever seen me do though? Really? He always says he's like There's something about it He's like I just love He's like I love you in it He's like I feel like

I've faced you well Yeah you were great So to the people I've faced you very well Who don't know If you go to my YouTube page It's just the funniest show you guys Tom Segura

You can see Frank Advice And the whole idea was I wrote like ten of these And that was like Just one of the episodes But I was like if I can only shoot one Which at the time I could only shoot one

I picked that one And I asked you to do it And you said yes And you were fantastic in it Oh that's awesome And now I have a company That said they want to Shoot a whole series

That's right But they don't want me to play that They're like We just want you to be yourself Stop being this character Which I think is a really good call That'll be fun So that'll be good

The character stuff People don't seem to respond to It's like people are too smart They want an authentic person They're like that's not real I want to see who he really is Who he really is The guy actually told me

In the first meeting I don't know if I would tell you this He goes I really like this thing You know we'd like We don't want to do it like this We want to make it more Grounded, more real

Not have it be where each episode Is just a set up to you Going on one of these rants Just have it be more of a real story I was like that's cool And he goes I don't know Maybe you've become a better actor

Since you shot this You have a better job I was like Jesus man I thought you were actually very natural You weren't being crazy I was like Is this your way of courting me By saying this

Oh my god You're telling me I want to do this with you Maybe you've become better Oh my god You know what I mean It's a weird thing to say I want you to be in this

And you know maybe you're better Since than when you did this Hopefully Hopefully you're better Than when you made this See acting's even tougher I think At least in the few things

Like I just did some pilot With Lifetime We did sketches And I was I'm not really a sketch person Like I'm a comic I'm a host I like hosting

But I remember you act And you don't know How you're doing Really No never Yeah and you're like Was that Especially when you go on a show

That already exists Oh I haven't done that one Well yeah But not as a character Only as like a person Yeah is that Pressure right Yeah it's like

I've never seen it's always sunny Yeah And I mean now I'm a huge fan But like I got on it And I remember even in the Auditioning waiting room Which I know you both can attest to Was the weirdest environment

On the planet Awful And there were all these girls That were I'm so sorry you guys No please It was I'm so pregnant

There was like All these girls That were hardcore fans of It's always sunny And like Oh well you were You know if you're marrying Dennis Because my character marries Dennis

They had like All these theories on it And I'm like oh fuck me I'm just gonna go in And get out of here Yeah And I remember getting to set Though when I got it

And I didn't realize What a big deal it was And I But you always You want to fit into them You just want to like Not be Like I never sit with them

At lunch I always try to like Be very respectful Sure And not be like too Like entitled about the whole Situation And I remember leaving it

And being like Those were the coolest guys Ever Aw They were just like Well they had that machine Going by then too right It's like

This is how the show works Like everybody That's the thing about a show That already has legs And you don't know if you're Being too big Which I think is why We brought it up

That's my problem Cause I'm used to performing As you are like To a live audience That's always been my struggle Is to like Pull it back Cause I always want to be like

Ah Right When you want It's also if you haven't Done a ton of work Which I haven't When you do have a moment To perform

You really want to kill that moment Right So you bring so much energy And so much character into it And they're like Whoa Yeah Pull it down

A little bit Be a real person please I get the opposite for everything They're like Little more energy please Well cause you're like Cometose I know

Is there a heart beating Behind that chest Do you want to be in this Like Oh yeah Do you want to wake up tonight Yeah I want to be in this

Little more Little more Oh always with you Volume up Yeah And then now And stand up Where we go

I go in And they're like We can't really hear you I'm like Turn the mics up I love that Turn the mics up man That's what I tell them

I'm not screaming Yeah I'm not going to talk louder You have microphones She needs to go She told me she has We could do a few more minutes You do

Okay Okay Just make sure I'm looking out By the way I think it's so cool that you guys Tour separately And together Doing stand up

It must be Cause it's gotta keep the romance Alive And come back to it Together And you're like How to go I don't know how to go

I've got my own career going It's very sexy It is And you know what's even sexier Last night Tom and I Don't want to brag Made love

Good Good And afterwards Must be easy when you don't Have a fucking Eight month baby in your belly Tell me about that What is it stopped

Can you keep going Through the eight months Doing it You can I want to hear about Okay So we finish Candles are lit

He ripped a fart And not only that He did the leg work Like he likes to do dramatic Wait She thinks that I farted when we were making After

After Post But you know what's really nice You were nice To keep it in the hole Yeah And that's what he said to me He goes

Well honestly when we came in I had to fart But then I held it in this whole time I go Wow What a dream this is What a sexy dream Lucky girl

If you could tell your This was gonna happen one day Who know Such a dream Dreamboat Okay So can you bang it Eight months

My husband's dying now It's complicated It's very complicated You've seen the porno It does It gets I know I haven't seen the porn Yet

Didn't I tell you We were talking about this Right That there's pregnant porn You told me about it And I have got to go catch it Because most porn Makes me crazy

And What part The part that It doesn't look Pleasurable for women Ever That the women are always so dry Oh I know

That's my problem It makes me crazy I agree Why can't you just If you're gonna do it Just enjoy it That's it Or use lubricant

Is it so much to buy I don't see what the problem Was with buying Why can't they just use lube Supposedly So I just said I know I'm saying But supposedly

You guys should learn how to Listen to each other That lube is like On every set You can't buy it No they have it They have it Or go down on her

For a second And don't fate go down on her When they're like We're like You're exactly fingering her With their like Jagged nails I love it

Well that's why like Lesbian porn is actually More interesting Because I'm like I think she might be doing A very good job I think she's actually Up to the skill

Actually gives a shit Yes But pregnancy Not porn But pregnancy sex To answer your question Is complicated I mean

It depends on How big you are So it's It's pretty normal I'm assuming For the first few months Yeah you're kind of Good to go

I wasn't until the last trimester And then He can't be on top anymore Right He can't really crush them And you can't be on your back Anymore really Yeah

You have to be on top And then It's about like For me it's like The lights have got to be off Because Of course You're very conscious of

Self-conscious of this baby Of course And I don't give a shit About Like there's all these ladies Who are like Oh but the baby can see The penis

And it's weird Like I don't give a shit About that I am shallow And I give a shit About my husband Looking at me Looking like a monster

On top of him He's happy That he's got a baby coming He's happy That you're still having sex With him And your hormones are up So you're feeling it

Oh so you want to You want it You want to bang Yeah Okay Were you sick a lot In the beginning No I got lucky

I don't even want to say that Allowed Because if there are other women Other who got sick It's the worst I've heard Oh my life Yes

Is this something That you're thinking about Well yeah I'm pushing 40 I mean It might be time to I don't know I mean that part terrifies me

Well yeah I mean I think so But it's scary Like to think about being sick And stuff all the time The sick part I mean that definitely Would suck if I had it

It's more of like You start realizing When you're coming to the end And you see the light At the end of the tunnel At the end of the nine months You're like oh wait This wasn't about being pregnant

This is about having a kid And never being alone With my man again Right Now you're going to embark On this whole thing And so do you have like A birth plan

Is this too specific To ask about No not at all I've been saying his name Is going to be Jackson I don't follow any of the rules That's a good name He

The birth plan is to Survive it Yeah Where are you going Like a hospital Going to Cedars Okay good Thank you

Yeah that's where my gynae is I would do the same Who's your gynae Dr. Christine Collins Oh cool I don't know her I have Dr. Raven Okay

And He My goal is to push him out With drugs in me Okay That's good That's good I just didn't know

If you're going to do some New fangled Hollywood thing No I'm not going to be The bathtub Yeah No everyone's pushing The doula on me though Yeah that's what I'm saying

Like it's coming back in The retro stuff Yeah Just the natural Just have her come to your house And you're like Nah There's this crazy

Oh shit sorry Yeah There's a crazy Ricky Lake documentary Called The Business I've seen it She like dumps out a baby In after birth while standing

And you're like That's really scary It's daunting I know Pluscenta Yeah Pluscenta So what overrides

All the fear and the horror Just like oh I'm going to have This happy baby right Like is that what you think I was telling Tom You actually start getting So physically uncomfortable That it overrides the fear

And you go fuck it It's got to be better When he's out of me Gotcha I want to meet him I need my life back I need to be able to lay on my back Like you can't sleep anymore

When does that start Do you remember About a month Like seven months Do you remember Maria Who was like I want to fucking murder people She was so funny

I want to fucking kill people She hated everybody Who's that My sister This is Dirty and disgusting That's her She had rage

This is her talking her This is Oh wait Oh this is her talking about Getting a latte I don't want that I just want the topping part A little

Like you put whipped cream on As a topper As for a lot more whipped cream You're going to charge me For a fucking latte too Right You have to push the button That says

D milk She decided Oh it's a latte And I know I don't work at Starbucks But I think I frequent there Enough to know You definitely frequent At a night to know

My favorite part of this Is Christina's reaction Right Right You are a healthy woman You are You know what that's from Ground links

Ground links Yes Yes and the shoe Out of that With Maria You always help it along Yes Maria do you like

Working with Dominicans You work at a number of A lot of places I know in New York That you worked at Tavern on the green There's a lot of Dominicans

And Puerto Ricans Working under you at that one No Oh my god No Thankfully no Thankfully no Thankfully no

Thankfully no Thankfully no Oh my god We had her at Thanksgiving A few years ago How was that And she was preggers And

Right she was pregnant During that one She was And she was just So in a rage Her hormones We had other friends Over

Deemed that Hates giving They were like Jesus She was just Slamming everybody Yeah Oh god bless her

Every family needs one Yes Of course Oh hell yes Of course Alright We do I want to wrap

A cat So she can get out here You told me last Wait not even last time Like a year ago That nobody calls you cat Right everybody calls you Catherine

It's a blend People who knew me Like in my early 20s Call me cat a lot Okay You fucking call her Catherine That's right dammit What is your Twitter

Can we give away your Twitter Yeah of course It's at right cat 2 Cat 2 is my mom's French And they don't have Kathy They have cat 2 Oh I love that So it's at R-E-I-T-C-A-T-O-U

I'm so impressed with you right now I watched her new show on VH1 I miss you much July 19th Okay It's coming out It's just so cool I had to start a very pregnant press tour

With that bad boy Oh no Very big Another season of Sunny got ordered Or picked up right They're doing another So maybe you'll be Maybe

Dead tooth might come back She has big fake tits now though Who knows what will happen next That's exciting stuff Very exciting stuff Very exciting Thank you so much for coming Thanks for having me guys

This was a lot of fun We do it again And you know when Jackson has a nanny Just fucking drop them off Thanks for that I just can't wait to leave him somewhere with a Puerto Rican Or a Dominican excuse me

It's gonna be hard to find an L.A. Puerto Rican Or a Dominican True Oh my god Thank God Thankfully no Thankfully no God bless her

Alright guys Thanks for listening And we'll see you next week Bye everybody Bye mommy THANKS FOR WATCHING THANKS FOR WATCHING THANKS FOR WATCHING

THANKS FOR WATCHING