Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Charo Returns… And She's Got A New Show! | Your Mom's House Ep. 821

Episode Date: July 30, 2025

SPONSORS: Get organized, refreshed, and back to routine for way less. Head to https://wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Go to https://coorslight.com/YMH to see how Coors Light can amplify your summer. And be sure to keep an eye out onCoors Light’s social handles all summer long for more exciting announcements. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom Segura and Christina P welcome back the one and only Charo! Charo isn't only here to collect casino money, she's here to drop major news: she’s launching her own YMH show, Muy Mucha Charo… and let’s just say, it’s already the tits! Charo talks more about her recent move to Austin and how the adjustment is going, and the trio dives into Charo’s own psychological evaluation (spoiler: clinically significant chaos), debates her potential Vegas show “Fart Mistress Live,” and navigates her dream of owning a Mazda Miata convertible—so long as she drives it on the freeway. Plus, Christina’s lipstick line gets a rave review, Bert Kreischer gets body-shamed with love, Charo watches people get hurt against her will, they brainstorm Bad Thoughts season 2 ideas, and Tom reveals a sci-fi colonoscopy story that sends Charo into full-on disownment mode. This episode is a wild ride filled with laughs, borderline diagnoses, mom-manipulation tactics, and of course... plenty of farts. Your Mom’s House Ep. 821 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:02 - Opening Clip: Fat Guy Is Full 00:18:24 - Muy Mucha Charo Teaser 00:21:37 - Does Charo Like Austin? 00:29:39 - Farts & Charo Bribes 00:37:54 - Charo's Psych Evaluation Results 00:49:05 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:57:05 - Crazies Behind The Wheel 01:02:21 - Clip: Robot Companion 01:04:44 - Season 2 Of Bad Thoughts 01:15:49 - Closing Song - "BURP" by Wes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. And welcome to another episode of your mom's house. I'm Tom. She's Christine. And joining us is one of our all-time favorite guests. You know her as my mom. It's Charo. Hello. Real exciting news that we want to, we'll get into more of it. But just so that everybody knows, Charo, my mom, has a new podcast, and it comes out tomorrow here on the YMH Studios YouTube channel. You can get it wherever you get podcasts. You can listen to it everywhere.

It is called Muay Mucha Chado, and it is debuting tomorrow. So make sure you check it out. Thank you for coming. Tommy, thank you for inviting me. You got to move the mic. You got to sit a little bit closer. There you go. Tommy, thank you for inviting me.

Of course. Yes. Thank you for being here. Of course. I'm thrilled to have you. We had a lovely dinner last night at the home. It was the best. Jane, you, the kids, the cat.

It was all of us and Tommy watching us. Yeah. Which enhances the pleasure of the dinner when he saw us. You think so? Why does it, it makes you feel pressured? It makes me feel happy. Oh. Excited.

I put more bites. Because you can see me? Yes. Watching you. Yes. How come? It's just a pleasure. I can't even describe it.

You're sitting there and I'm having filet mignon, lasagna, every type of spaghetti, every kind of vegetable that I share with everybody because I'm very nice. 50 desserts. Yeah. And you're watching. Not eating. Not a bite. And that made you happy. Yes.

That sounds like somebody really well-adjusted would say. Actually, I envy you. Really? I would love to do what you did. But I'm trying to picture myself one day, no eating. I would be the most miserable person. You will send me back to Vero. Christina would be clapping of joy.

Finally, we find the excuse. And I said, no way, I won't do that. Salue. Yeah, there you go. That laugh sounds very affirmative. Ta-ta, there we start. Hey, hey, hold on. Who's idea was it for you to move to Texas, this guy?

Don't forget that. I was the one that was like, you know, be lovely is to have Jane and Charo here in Austin with us nearby. Oh, that is true. But how many times people change their minds? And I said, why in the world did I do that? Oh, is that why? I invite you to the home every Sunday for dinner.

Every Sunday for dinner. I am basically forcing you. You're forcing me? Yeah, because I keep saying at what time today. Nam? Hatnam. This is fake news. I invite you every Sunday.

That is true. I'm now forcing. That is true. Now. The truth, Balga, she's absolutely right. She invites me every Sunday. She does nothing but give us love. Thank you.

And then you still misgendered my cat. You call munchkin mushy. It's called mushy, and you're not going to change it. And that mushy is a perfect cat. But they gave me a perfect dog. Mushy piece on the toilet. My dog, the one that you guys gave me, poop in my house. So it's an even trade.

Yeah, it is an even trade. Yeah. But I love that dog anyway. Are the headphones supposed to sit on the face, or are they supposed to be more over just like the ears? now I feel weird that feels weird I feel like I have a facelift

you look great yeah so I know what I did I need to do this and I just yeah we just wear those 24-7 why not yeah you look good I look good I try good I exercise all the time

do you what's your routine like well I get up and I go and get coffee and I walk all the way to my room oh so back and forth well I start like that and I do it again Yeah, that's pretty good. How about the hill? I know you were upset that there's a hill that you have to drive to go to the grocery store.

Honestly, still scares me. The hill. So I parked the car like four steps up, and I walk two steps, and I go up. She's talking about the hill that you drive out of the neighborhood on, not your driveway. To go to the grocery store. Oh. Because you have to go down the one road. It is scary, but I'm getting used to.

Nice. I'm very unjust. Well, there's a lot of exciting stuff we have to go over with you today. Okay. And of course, the huge news is that you have a new podcast. We'll get into that in a moment. But to get us started, let's open the show with an opening clip. Here you go.

What is it? Oh. Oh, gosh. You almost look like mine. Oh, fuck. It's so full. This is so disgusting. How many babies are in there?

Is it real? It looks at pierce out. How do you survive like this? Don't bring anyone mother to this. Welcome to your mom's house. Oh yeah. and Christina Pajitze. Welcome to your mom's house.

Miao, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Yeah, meow, meow. You have to honor the music, listen to the music, feel it. Okay, now that I'm out? Yeah, what's up? No, go ahead. This is not recorded. No.

It's a question. Can I talk about your lipstick? Yeah. Okay. Go ahead and talk about it. I can't. You haven't even turned this on. Turn what on?

The microphone. I saw you tell me about this listening. No, you can talk to me about my lipstick. lipstick. The lipstick company that I have, ChristinaP.com, you can buy all four colors right now, perfect red, atomic red, Berlin, and Madison. Get all four for the lady in your life. They are the best. They are literally the best. That's what I want to talk. It's insane. The high quality. And can I tell you why they're so high quality? I import them from an attelier in Italy. So this isn't some American schlock brand. This is European beautifully

crafted stuff. Okay. I want to buy them. High quality, babe. So I can buy it right now? Absolutely, ChristinaP.com. Okay. ChristinaP. So you were helping me last night develop my next line of products that I will be putting out very soon. That is going to be great.

And you help me decide which colors, which textures you liked. And I love them all. I do too. It's so exciting when I'm going to do next. I can't wait. I'm excited for you too. By the way, you do look great. The makeup looks great.

You do. Your jacket? did you get that jacket it's beautiful oh yeah it's imported from germany from germany not really known for the furs but that's good is that squirrel squirrel fur well the squirrels are no green what's green nothing is green the leaves are green right okay um so this is um thank you thank you yeah wow wow i have to show this off that's beautiful yeah the more you could whisper away from the mic I will try my best to scream from now on. There you go.

Can you hear yourself in your ears? No, I can hear you. You don't hear yourself? No, I can't. Oh, that's the problem. A ver. Charo, can you hear yourself? Yes, I can.

Okay, there we go. Oh, you can. I have to be everybody. This first clip is my buddy Bert. That's Bert right there, laying on his back with his belly out. Are you serious? Yeah. I told me that's terrible.

Yeah. that's not bird that's bert yeah yeah he's a big drinker this is bird now yeah yeah yeah that's sad yeah okay that's a joke that's not true that is true that is that of him um he lost a lot of way before yeah and then he kind of swung the other way how does he manage to work it's challenging but he's doing it he's actually shooting a show right now Well, he does have diabetes. He's going to have one of his legs amputated, unfortunately, because look, he's laying down there.

He can't walk very well. Are you serious here? Yes, yes. He has to amputate one of, they're going to amputate one of his legs. I know. It's horrible. I know. Great guy, though.

Oh, he's a super nicely guy. He's a really nice guy. I feel sorry for his wife. You know what he does? He also, like you, eats candy in bed. Starburst. He's a big sugar guy. Lobs candy.

So am I. Yeah. He likes drinking and he likes sweets. Okay, which reminds me of I need to immediately change my style of living. Yeah. This is the time, too. Everyone's like, you hit 81. It's out.

It's time to kick. I am not 81. How old are you? How old are you? 80. That's old enough to don't rush me. Yeah. 81, by the way.

I want. What? That's the Reddit thread. Is Bert dying? I don't know it. He's so red. I was talking. His eyes are barely open.

So much so. Oh yeah. I am talking. This is so rude. He's got the drink in his hand. He's staring off. Okay. I'm not talking anymore.

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celebrate responsibly. You usually do this. What's that? To have a guess and ignore the guests. Oh, watch this. Watch this. She passed away, unfortunately. She passed away during the National Anthem.

You know who else is 81? Barry Manilow, and he's still doing his shows in Las Vegas. I am 80. I can send you to one. It's really good. We have some clips. You want to see what he's doing? Because if his show is any sign,

what your podcast is going to be like, it's going to be a fun time, okay? Okay. What does it take to have a show in Vegas? Well, I mean, first of all, he's got some nice work done on his face. It is good work. he needs to blend the orange into the neck

Yeah but I want to have a show like that Well here there's more there's more No thank you No thank you No thank you I won't take him, but I will imitate him. Yeah. I think I have my own show.

Frankie Valley's got a show, too. You can check that out. He's 97? He's in his 90s. Holy shit. And he still has a show? Yeah, it's a good show, too. Why don't I have a show in Vegas?

You can. I mean, maybe the podcast is like what's going to get you the show. show. What would you do on your Vegas show? I will invite you over. You know what you can start doing? Because you're doing the podcast. You know what's really big with this generation right now? What? They're called fit checks. You know what a fit check is? No clue. So you set up your camera and then you would show off your, you go fit check and you would show your outfit today, like this chick here. Do you guys like my outfit? What about this? Do you like this? yeah i well i i but she's like the great thing to like inspire because you already have the

second part and if you start doing fit checks can i tell you something you would sell out yeah i'd rather don't but you're already known as the fart mistress can you imagine going to Vegas so i can fart in front of the cameras oh he's so awesome you're huge you have huge audiences you'd have a contract to work i'm not kidding you you guys are so low. I can believe you're suggesting for me to go on TV, not only on TV, on Vegas, and fart on the cameras because already have an audience. I mean, yes, this is killing me. Trying to get my mama career is supposed to be something I feel bad about? That type of career, yes. Okay. It feels like you're not being grateful. You know you already have fans here, right? You have

fans in the audience, too. Do you know that somebody sent in a message because they're interested in meeting you. Oh, wow. Potential suitor. No way. Check this out. Hey, baby. How are you?

Hi, baby. I would like to meet up. I want to meet you. You're awesome. Bye now. Well? That was for you. How do you know it for me?

Because it came in our inbox and he said this is for Charo. He couldn't dress any better than that. Well, I think he was just inspired in the moment, you know. Okay. I like his outfit. What kind of guy would you be into? I feel like he's a pretty great candidate, though. I mean, he looks like he's in good shape.

He's really into you, which is important. You want the guy to like you more than you like them, you know? 100%. Is that, you think that's true? You think that was us? No. No. Do you think you love me more than I love you?

He was crazy about you. It was. crazy about you before you even look at him Really? Yes I'm a witness If he denies it

I am a witness A witness Witness So this is the guy You're going to get from me Yeah Can we respond? Yeah

Why don't you do this So I think that's your camera Will you say something back to him Does they have a name in someone George? No I'm not going to say George because he said hi baby Okay, then say whatever you want to say back.

But say it into that camera. Hi, baby. Next time, if you don't mind to sit up and put some clothes on, maybe I will get into you too and I would like to meet you. We start as a friend and God knows where we go. But just do it properly, no laying down in a tissue that is no appealing to me. Bye! Hey, that was really good.

We'll send that right back to him. He'll like that. Hell like that. So let's get into this because the people are dying to know. Tell us about the podcast. What's the podcast like? You've been doing it here. Tell us.

What's going on in the podcast? The podcast is something I wasn't expecting number one. So I come here, I sit down, and I have no idea what to talk about because here is a podcast. I'm talking to myself. So I guess I start by telling them my story, how I met my heart. husband. It's kind of hard for me. Yeah. That's it. It's a really good sales job on getting people to want to listen. Thank you for that. I would recommend you to listen if you want to know something about my life. But if you think you're going to laugh, I hate to disappoint you. That is not

accurate or effective what you're doing. Just so you know, you would be definitely drops if you were trying to, like, keep a job somewhere. But here, we have a little trailer that we made to get the audience excited about my mom, Charo's new podcast called Mucha Charo. Here you go. This summer, the fart mistress. Senora Tetas. My only fans.

Mom's moving in, and she's bringing the spice. You'll laugh. She'll cry. Cry and she'll make this noise. Coming soon to YMH Studios. Make it sexy. Very much acharo. Well, hello, everybody.

Look at that face. Yeah, that's awesome. You look awesome. You look great. You do. By the way, you do not look 81 years old. 80! You look amazing.

Yeah, you look great. You look really good. You have no wrinkles on your face. Well, the camera can do any tricks. No, I mean, I'm looking at you in real life. You look at me. Can I tell you the truth? You kind of do look like Barry Manilow.

Like, if you look at this clip and then... That's the guy who was dancing. Yeah. You guys kind of look similarly. Holy shit. You're right. You guys do look alike. Maybe you guys are related.

Is he purused? Maybe I do that in my next podcast. Hmm? Maybe I do that in my next podcast. That'd be a great thing. I mean, you could wear that jacket. You could definitely do those moves. He's got great cheekbones like you too. Yeah.

Done. Done. Done. Holy shit. You guys are twinning. So that's the podcast. You are announcing about my podcast and all you are showing is my previous stuff that had nothing to do with my podcast. No, it's a, it's called a teaser trailer.

So what we did was just kind of like get people excited about the talent involved, which is you, since the talent is unqualified to promote themselves. so we put together a little real. Yeah, we did it ourselves because we knew you would do what you just did. So yeah, there's that. Me and him. You and Barry. Now, you've been in Austin now about seven months.

Yes. How are you liking it? I like Austin a lot. I love going to see you guys. I love having the family clothes. I love everything about Austin, but I'm still scared to drive. Yeah, that's normal, though. Tommy, seven months, like you said.

I know, but aren't you making a little bit of progress in that? Yeah, I look for somebody to take me. Oh. Well, do you think you could throw yourself into it a little more? Well, I throw myself to let you know that there is an accident and the road where you should come. Well, that's not throwing yourself into it. Throwing yourself into it is like setting. You said throwing yourself into it.

Well, it's an expression. It means that, like, today, for instance, you could go home and go, I'm going to drive, you know, five blocks further than I normally would. And you start to make progress that way. The next day you go a little further. Like, you know, throw yourself into it. That's a good idea. Well, there you go.

You could try that. Did you drive before when you lived in Florida? In Vero? Yeah. I drove all over. So what's deaf? This is the difference. Yeah.

Biro doesn't have a space with the highways or the mopback. I was in the mopback. I didn't tell you what I did. But anyway. you take your left or you take your right, you go straight, you take your left and you arrive at your destination. That's how it is.

Well, you don't have to take Mopac to get, because you guys literally live just down the street from like, you got everything. You got the grocery store, you got the Starbucks, you got the thing. Yeah, there's no highways to get to that. There's no highways, bro.

Okay. Tio. Tio, go ahead. I decided I need to mail a letter that I never arrived and it was important to send it. So I put it. in an envelope I got out and I said I'm going to be brave because I asked Jen and she will do it

and she told me you can do it it's close so I put my how's the like the Siri or the yeah yeah to take me to the closest post office okay take does a quanto go to your right once you're in your right turn to your left keep going take your left take your right and then on the office I am in the expressway So I am in the expressway, the Crosson de Jesus Let me make it to the post office. Yeah.

I don't know how many space. And then you get out of that expressway to tell you to a different expressway. Now you go to, I think it's 183, and then you keep going, and then you take your left and say, what in the world? 20 minutes driving for a post office.

Yeah, that doesn't seem right. Can I tell you something? This is the beginning of the end. You got to face this fear. My mom, well, I turned 28, put it this way. I turned 28. I was working in Burbank, California. Okay.

My mother calls me, she goes, I cannot come see you for your birthday. I said, I cannot drive on the freeway. And there is no parking in Burbank. I'm like, this is patently false. There's nothing but parking in Burbank. And can I tell you, it was that stuff, the first of the, I can't, I can't go on the freeway. You get scared and then she became a shut-in. Do you know what I'm saying?

Well, yeah, you're already well on your way, though. You think you're a shutting? already this is in the in the 40 how many years i'm being united states 15 yeah and the 50 years i'm being in and the 50 years i'm being in united states i have never ever ever getting any expressway yeah this is very very far along i mean also don't forget this is somebody very high in withdrawal never ever very high in avoidance you know i mean so i came to austin to go to the post office and i in the expressway. You've never driven on a freeway in America.

Ever, never. I think it's time we break this. This isn't... You want to be in the news about your sister-in-law. Your sister-in-law. What? I'm not her...

You're her mother-in-law, yeah. Your mother-in-law, which is worse. Yeah. And now we give her a nice... Lots of flowers there. You got to drive on the freeway. You got to drive on the freeway. Why don't you have a drink

before to relax you a little bit you really want to finish with me. Not only getting the freeway but be sure to have a drink before. So relax you so you're not so nervous or take a Xanax or five. Just take something. Anything that put me to sleep. We should do

it in a car that can move too. Like, you know what I mean? Like let's get you in something that rips. Yeah. Rips. Like a Ferrari or something? Well, you try to do it with a pill and just finish.

with me instead of making me in the car and the whole process. Why do you think we want you dead? Yeah. We've got nothing to gain by your death. You know that? We don't want your money. You don't want... Hold on. I did get your painting. You get my painting. The beautiful homeless man that I've been admiring for 25

years. He told me takes me home today. You take the painting with you. Okay. And then... What's the artist's name? Again, I'm sorry. Victor Martinez. Will you look up Victor Martinez Homeless Man painting? I'm just curious. It's not going to come. I don't know.

It's not going to come like, put Victor Martinez and paintings. Painters, he said. Painter, yeah. Artist. Artist, yeah. And let her know. Peruvian artist, yeah. There's this haunting painting that I've been admiring for so many years in your home.

And she just said that she'd give it to me. But that was three days ago. And so far it's not in our house. She didn't say she gave it to me. Can I have it already? She says, I want this. No. And I said,

That's not how it happened. Oh my gosh. That is not how it happened. I want this for my birthday. I do. Yeah, you say it. Well, where is it? My birthday was in June.

That's what I mean. It has to come because your birthday was in June and I didn't give you a gift. Where's my painting? Come and get it. That's the one I think, the one that's dead, right? Malaga. Victor Martinez Malaga.

Isn't that him? Can I see him? Yeah. Peruvian. He died? is this the one i know as victor martinez i didn't know the malaga part oh okay i don't know maybe it's a different martinez no it's called just victor martine oh probably the one that you found the result where it said born in 1932 the that should be the one that's the one i think yes because oh yeah

because look at the homeless person that's what i was looking yeah it's perfect and it's neat because this guy drew four portraits of the same homeless man and I find his eyes haunting I have for years and I would just love to have that in our home. He's amazing. That painting talks to you. I never saw a painting that is so

it looks like a picture. What does it say to you? What do you feel? I'm saying. What is it do for you? Like it's a poor person. And you, You like it because you can go, I'm not poor like you, dirtbag, and you feel better about yourself? And then I look at him and I said, if you will only know my sister-in-law.

Sister. Excuse me. Well, it's like a sister. We're almost the same. She's only 50 years difference. You know, if you will know her. Wait, soft, speak softer. Excuse me, if you will only know my daughter-in-law.

Yeah. She's so sexy. and she sings you're better painter ever She's stealing the paintings from my house Because there is no way to get you But you are the best Now can we publish a little bit about you and your fame

Because she's a little bit ignorant But we're going to teach her He lived for a while in Las Vegas by the way No no no no no in Los Angeles Oh we did Yeah Here check this out mom Oh damn

So this guy He trains dogs He can train your dog To go outside Do you hear that? So we haven't seen him in years This guy Sniff that one

Okay Yeah We haven't seen him in years He would do stuff like this Like make these videos I know So He trains his dog this way

The dog loves it But do you see him But do you have it elevate the quality of your show, but it's always going to be fart and pedos and... Well, I'm trying to tell you something. I'm trying to share something with you. But you're not sharing anything so far. But you see him, right? You see him? Yes, I think it's bad. I don't see him.

So, oh, here, like here. This is his old... I'm a farting some stockings. That doesn't make me laugh. Hold on. It's Christmas. It's a Christmas. So he's farting in the stockings. Okay. okay hold on let him finish hold on hold on that's all you do

gaga no but you see what he looks like is my point right and this is how we knew him and we knew him like this before Ellis was born that's how long ago we've had a relationship and then he kind of we didn't hear from him and we didn't see him forever and then two weeks ago he re-emerged look at him now

Next time we're just going to put all these in a funnel and just funnel it down my throat and gulp pudding all fucking day. It was upside down. Isn't that crazy? Look how much bigger he is. Do you notice the difference? This is the same guy? Same guy.

How sad. I told me. Yeah, he's doing stuff like this now, making a fortune. Making a fortune, because people want to watch him eat. It kind of makes you think, right? It makes you think. So I should be just farting on eating. We didn't say it.

We didn't say it. We didn't say it. We didn't say it. I'm becoming like this. Yes. Also, you're already 81. It's like, oh, 80. Like, how much longer?

Why slow things down? The time isn't out. Yeah. The time is so. There you are. you're on the freeway you look great you do look great car

won't you get me a convertible hell yeah it's such a good idea but you have to go on mopac with it yeah if we get you a convertible you have to drive on mopac is a promise do you want to see this prank no I want to talk about cars now

okay cars okay what is the car that I have to I want to talk about a cat that I would like to have The cat? You want to talk about a cat you would like to have A car. Oh, a car, okay.

How about a convertible? Maybe I did. Yeah, those are cool. Are they safe? Yeah, they're super safe. Picture me in my convertible. I like that. Yeah.

I remember when you had a convertible. I know. The very first, it was such a huge thing in our house. I know. house my dad got her a Chrysler LeBaron convertible and you got the personalized license license you did what did say that's so nice so people knew it was you coming oh yeah they're like here comes charro here comes charro did you like it no freeways i love it and the kids love it yeah it's super fun but now i will take this place way that's a promise that's a promise um you and some of the staff went shopping

Well, you're changing the topic of my car, so let's go one step at a time. Okay. How about to get me a convertible, I say. No, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. You can do it. Okay, change the topic because you want to go out of the shopping. Your staff and I went shopping.

Yeah. We were very limited. We were trying to be decent. So we buy the least we can and the most. Very limited. What budget did you have? He didn't tell me the budget, but we were very consider. it. So we bought like

this blouse. You guys know what you ended up spending? Very little. No? Very little. That's just the summary? The equivalent of one outfit for Christina. Wow. That still is a pretty vague way of saying it was spent. They don't know what was spent?

Nobody knows? No, it wasn't that much. We went to Nordstrom. Yeah. Pardonalos, Señor. We both like three, like, warm up Like the fans I'm waiting right now, I mean. How much was spent?

I think around 2,500. No, wow. That's a lot of scratch for clothes. No. And about sweatpants? $1,500. Oh. So you think Josh just added $1,000 for no reason?

Yeah, because he has fun saying those. He's making it up. Oh, wow. I know it was $1,500. Would you hold on. That doesn't sound, can I say you sound, Josh is one of the most honest.

people on our staff. He's actually the most well-adjusted person on the entire staff, clinically speaking. Are you accusing him of lying? How does Josh knows? Do you want to pull this, no, or? How does Josh knows? I don't know. Ask Josh. He's the manager here. He knows all the finances. Yeah, but he can make up the numbers. He can make it up. He can make it up. But why would he? I don't know. Ask Josh. And ethnically speaking, his people are known to make up numbers. Oh, that is your answer. There's your answer. Do you, do you, you know, I just, I made an observation. I noticed that every time you come in here, it's like, it's, it's a plea to get stuff.

You know, like, last time it was like, are we going to go, you did the show, and then you're like, are we going to go buy a washer dryer now? And we were like, wait. By the way, by the way, by the way, excuse me. It's always, thank you for touching the topic. Thank you for touching the topic. Because he fine now, and he mentioned I just fine now, I'm buying a washer and dryer. Thanks a lot. It cost me $3,000.

I pay with my money. And I didn't buy even the stands because I didn't have money to buy the stunts. So I have to bend down, think of my age, so don't ask you for the $300 for a stunt. I don't understand. Why can't you get the stands? Because it's $300,000 each is $600,

and I didn't have enough to buy the washer and dryer that wasn't in my book. However, you announced that I just find now I'm watching and dryer. Well, guess what? I bought the washer and dryer. we're proud of you yeah good job way to go way to go i told me i tell you one thing i want to do let me does it involve me purchasing something well it involves you an investment in the house

investment okay because this house eventually you're going to rent it they mean it's plain let me explain the shower is this big yeah yeah and the bathtub is this big so the idea will be to knock out the bathtub and just make the shower longer. I'm talking to Tommy. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Can I have your blessings, please, Tommy? At the moment,

no. I got a lot of things. I'm all tied up. Kind of jammed up right now with a lot of things. Because she told you to say that. She didn't tell me to say anything. Just can't do stuff like that. You know, I got a lot of things going on. Stuff like that. Yeah, I got things going on.

Well, you thought you bought a washer and dryer. I didn't think I bought it. Yes, you say it in the iPad. I heard you in one of your pots. You say it in your iPod and I bought it. So can we trade that for knocking that bathtub that is a decoration and me being able to move in my shower that is this big? Would you like to hear your psychiatric evaluation results?

Yes. Oh, shit. I mean, are we doing it? Should we call the doctor? Yes. I'm dying to know. Are you serious? Okay.

No? You don't want to do it? I want to do it. I definitely want to do it. Okay. All right. So of the 17 people that took the test that were here in the office. Let's ask her first.

Where do you think you ranked out of, on a scale of from 1 to 17, the top, the one being, what is it, the least healthiest? Yeah. 17 being the healthiest. Where do you think in the lineup you would be? Two? Yes. For real? Yeah.

You were number two. You were number two. I was trying to make a joke so you can laugh at it. The number one was a very traumatized young man who's not here today. Then you were two. And then it goes down to the healthiest person who was Josh. Josh is a healthy. Yeah.

You have to teach me, Josh. So Tanner was number one most troubled, and the therapist recommended therapy for him. And she asked if he was a veteran, like if he had been a combat veteran, because he exhibited that much signs of trauma. Which one was this? Number one and your number two.

No, which one was it? Tanner. Yeah, he's not here today. Okay. But he's one of our. Okay, but tell me everything. So when you have results, they are either insignificant, elevated, or what they call clinically significant. And when something is clinically significant, it means that somewhat alarming brings that awareness to the therapists and then they want to talk to the person more to find out how concerned they should be.

you are clinically significant in two major categories. Negative affectivity and dishibitionism. You're in the 99th percentile in both. What? Congratulations. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Negative. Put it back.

Yeah, affectivity. You can see it there. You actually are almost at 100%, which is so clinically significant. There isn't a category. past it. What does I mean there are negative affectivity? Well, if we scroll down, you can see the actual breakdown of things. So anxiousness, you're at 100%. Emotional ability, you're in the 90th percentile. And separation and security, you're over, almost at 100%. Yeah, your withdrawal is at over 90 percent. Your manipuliveness is over 90 percent. Manipuliveness? There you go.

Why didn't get for you even to get my shower? Distractability, you're at 100%, which is in the next category. Impulsivity, almost at 100%. You're not psychotic. Yeah, that's nice. Congratulations. Pretty great. Yeah.

And here's your scores. You're not schizophrenopal. You're not too, well, you are antisocial, but you know, you're elevated. You're not a psychopath. Your borderline score is nearly off the charts. You're not a narcissist. Your avoidance is nearly off the charts. I'm a narcissist?

No. I said, no, you're not a narcissist. No. No. But you have two clinically significant results there. And yeah, you can see there. Borderline, you mean you're essentially been diagnosed as a borderline. You're antisocial and you're avoidant.

But you're not narcissistic. That's true. You're not obsessive-compulsive, and you're not schizo-tipal, which means you're not a weirdo. You're not an eccentric. You just have, you know, severe personality defects. If it makes you any happier, I'm, I'm schizo-tipple. Yeah, she registers high on that. Very high.

I've considered a... And I also registers high on antisocial, which may be genetic. And then I also have a higher antisocial with psychopathy. So we're all antisocials here. Yeah, we're all antisocials, yeah, yeah. As you can see. Mm-hmm. Yeah, pretty cool, right?

Pretty cool. Yeah. I think Tanner, I mean, like I said, Tanner was recommended to go to therapy. Is that something you would consider doing? Yes. Yeah. What is he going to do for me? Well, you don't know.

We're not the therapist, but that's what people do is, it looks like your hostility, your impulsivity, and your irresponsibility. Go slow because you're going, you're impulsivity and you're right, right, no, go slow. Okay. Well, your antisocial stuff is pretty clear. Yeah. The real thing is your borderline stuff. I am antisocial.

I know. We know that. Your borderline stuff is out of control. I mean, that is obviously like you're probably your most notable category. Which one is that? Borderline, where it combines anxiousness, emotional ability, hostility, and impulsivity, and separation and security. You scored really high. I'm a monster.

No. No, no, a monster. You know, it's just a... Does that resonate with you? Do you feel like that's accurate? Well, I know I'm scared to be alone. Yeah. I don't like when a man comes in my house if I am alone.

that's really tremendous anxiety. I am extremely anti-social. I am very insecure. I actually avoid making friends. But not because I avoid, it's because my insecurity create my friends because my friends approach me and became friends, but I don't go on it.

Make friends, yeah. No. Yeah. It's part of the insecurities. I am. Or they'll ask me questions because I can see from here. Let's go. Is there another category underneath this?

Yeah, you're not OCD. You're not obsessive-compulsive. Withdrawn, which makes sense. Anxiousness, which makes sense. Distractability is. Very high. Yeah, you're very, very high. Very distracted.

I am so distracted that it breaks the rule of the 100%. Yeah. I can't focus in one thing. Like I can be in the bathroom and trying to fix this, but this belongs to the kitchen. So I go to the kitchen. While I'm in the kitchen, I find something that is from the laundry room. So I don't finish one task. I never finished one room. And I'm being suffering with this because I'm being aware all the time and I can't help it. You're being aware all the time, is that you said? Aware? Yeah, you're, you actually could not have a higher score on distractibility. It's the highest possible score. Yeah. And you're also in the highest possible score for impulsivity. You're almost there with emotional lability. You are

there with anxiousness. Yeah. Got a nice treat there on intimacy avoidance and irresponsibility and manipulativeness. You're significant in all of them. Intimates avoidance is why I am so high. Oh, no, sorry. That's the wrong. No, just irresponsibility. responsibility, hostility, impulsivity, manipulative. Hostility, have high in hostility? Yes. What is hostility? Kind of what you're doing right now.

Remember a few minutes ago when you're like, I'm talking to Tom, not you? That's kind of hostile. You said that to me. Kind of hurt my feelings a little bit. I'm not going to lie. Tom is hostile too. Tom is called high in hostility.

Oh, that's deflection. Yeah, it's called being deflective. You're pushing it on somebody else now. She doesn't have that, you do. I have elevated in matimiculativeness yes you're a master manipulator this is only what people say who know you though like you're like well yeah

I think your children would all be like is it only 92? Do you feel like but do you feel like you can get people to do things for you do you feel like that? That can be a really positive skill. Look, all this isn't to be negative. Sometimes these traits work in your benefit.

Some of our greatest employees, our greatest staff members, are lit up, too. So this doesn't mean like you're a bad person. It just means like these are your traits. So manipulativeness can be great if you're a lawyer or a salesperson. Podcast host. Podcasting host. Do you feel like you get what you want from people? From Tommy.

From Tommy. You do? Because he loved me. Not because I'm manipulative. He says, she's 81 even when I'm 80. She's 81 even when I'm 80. Yeah. And I know he loved me.

You know he loves you. So it's not that I abuse it, but I ask him with almost a 90% sure that he's going to tell me okay. But you know that he loves you and that's why you ask. Is that what you're saying? No. You know he'll give it to you. That's why you. No.

I know that he loves you. He loved me, and he will try if he can. It hasn't seen that. And I really, not that he can, I'm talking monetary. But if he sit like that's enough, he would say no. Like I asked him if I can go shopping again, and a big no came. I asked him about my shower, even though I'm going to fall down in that shower because there's no place to hold.

And if it's me, so if I get a lover, he can get in the shower. And what about the casino trips and stuff? Oh, my God. told me, I can live from casino to casino. If you want your mind to die happy, send me to one casino to more. Only if you want her to die happy. You know what we'll do about the convertible? If you can drive a convertible from Austin to Lake Charles, Louisiana, you can have that car.

I'm serious. I'm serious. That's such a good idea. I saw he was going to say, if you can drive the converter from your house all the way in the expressway, you can have the convertible, which you will be. That's what I said. No. No, not to a town. You can do it.

It's a road trip. You're 81. You can freaking take a road trip. D'Ale with the 81. You're 80. You can take a road trip. Here, check this out. Look at this screen.

He threw a hundred pound. Take. $1,000. They broke his back. Yeah. He threw a hundred pound back. I got him. 100 pounds of cement, yeah.

That's so mean. I know. I hate when they put these clips in here. I know, I can tell that what you showed them. Guys, only nice stuff. We told you this. She doesn't like this violent stuff, you guys. Oh.

This is corrento. I agree. Shit. That one was crazy. It was terrible. Why are you guys putting this stuff in here? That was really crazy. What?

I have a question. I have a question. I need to stop for a second. What's that? During your test comes, like you enjoy watching tragedies and people just being killed. Yeah, that's the high psychopathy, antisocial stuff.

A little bit, yeah. Yeah. He came high in that. Not that high. No, it was elevated, not, it was not clinically significant. But elevated, so you were almost into clinical territory. I don't think it was close to clinical territory.

It was just elevated. Yeah, elevated. So that's one step under clinical. Yeah, but elevate is also over 50 you're elevated. Over the norm. Christina. The fact that he's fighting it, you know, that means he knows he is. He's out of his mind, yeah.

Well, he, every night, it's something violent, it's something awful, it's war, it's Hitler, it's. And then he says to me, you got to watch this movie. I know it's violent. I don't want to watch it this morning. That's what my dad did too. Every single day. I know. And every night.

Every night. Horrors. You're falling asleep too, yeah. Hi, baby. Come in. We have a show. 48 hours. Killing in the street.

Mom, Mike. 48 hours, killing in the street. And that's how I go to sleep. And he gets tired and he said, okay, I'm going to bed. And he turned the TV all without asking me, are you watching? But he only called me to let me know. We have a show to watch. Yeah, I'm sorry.

no that's okay but can i tell you what's so sick now yeah is that now i can't fall asleep unless tom is watching something violent and terrible so now i go are you going to watch your awful thing because i can't fall asleep unless he's next to me enjoying awful things you have trained here it's pretty good it's good deal very dominant no very dominant Oh my guy he broke his waist all his bones all of them that was all the bones were broken dude dude that guy is that guy is not okay right is that a dog it's a lion it's a lion it's a lion yeah to me he's going to eat him he's just joking with his employees and he put a he'll release the lion on them yeah it's

something that I have dreamed about and I have wanted to do this so bad you will I know you I'm trying to I actually reached out to an animal rescue guy about doing this here at the office and they just we couldn't work it out but this is such a cool thing I got wanted I think he's a monster because the only fund he has

I know torture torture yeah torture give you joy yeah why don't you torture yourself that would be more joy he does like to torture himself

with the fasting and the cold plunging and are you still with the fasting yeah it's been 10 days yeah 10 days not quite but yeah I still haven't eaten that's what he says not to me to go shopping or buy me a car

no I'm just thinking clearly you need a lot of clear thoughts he's pushing for a month now because he loves it so much I want to see if I can do 30 days what is the purpose just to see if you can do it just to like I like the suffering

you know like to see if you can how what what level of suffering you can deal with and then he's going to make the staff do it they all have to do it they don't have to yeah they do they do you can not force the staff no but they can't work you cannot force the staff absolutely guys aren't we starting it next week you know what guys quit unfortunately yes they should quit i know i see what you do just find new people you will never get them why because they have the best i mean i wouldn't they're fine You're not going to make them do that. I mean, if they want to work here.

Yeah. I never heard an office and with the man I forced the people to go on a diet of water or you don't work here. Yeah, but it's a different time. It's 22. I only quit, but I will sue you. You can't do that. Thanks for giving them that idea. But the whole thing is I want, and I mean this respectfully, I want them to look better.

Why? They look great. Well, they look fine. Well, you shave. I want you to look better. I want you to look better. But I'm doing the water fat. And that's what I'm trying to get them to do.

It's like, hey, let's get a little trimmer. You know, let's look a little better. Summer. Summer. I want to see summer bodies when I come in here. Well, you do it, Christina. Oh, I don't have to. I'm already perfect.

I don't have to. He doesn't make me do it. He, like, loves me. You know who sent in a tape asking if they could work here? Who? Asking if they could have a job? Right here. Ah.

Oh. Yeah. You want to get a job doing what? Licking your envelopes. I don't know. But they were like, do you want to hire her? And I said, bring her in. Let's see what she's like.

Do you have a lot of mail? We have been in church. Yeah. Yeah. She seems nice. She does be nice. She had a good interview, too. She's very sensible.

Look at this. The largest, on record, fossilized. caca in the world. What? Yeah. They save it? They saved it, yeah. Eight inches long, two inches wide.

It's from a Viking. That's awesome. I ask, beyond my brains, believing that you put in a show the biggest caca in the world. Oh, guess what else? I put a bid on it for at an auction to try to get it here at the studio.

you're sick well I want to own it so do I I can't wait to get it how much did you spend 125 okay why don't I do one like that if you can do something like that you pay me a hundred and 25 thousand well

well if you do it for that one why can you do it for mine well this is a it belonged to a Viking what I am her majesty her majesty yes could you talk away from the mic more

it's only the 15th time I know. So I have to be... Mom, go from here. Just go like this. Push it down. Yeah, there you go. And then...

There you go. Here we go. I mean, yeah. It's too high. Okay. Oh, there's Charo. They even got your plate personalized. That's awesome.

Oh, my God. You guys are quick. I want that car. Yeah. Oh, those are real easy to get. they are toys that's a toy yeah that's um that's a Ferrari 488 that was a pretty neat don't you love to drive me get me honestly in a sport car nothing has to be one of those brand names just any no a Ford is Ford a Ford it's a Ford Explorer for sport sport sport sport sport afford sport oh my favorite

car the Ford Sport what's a Ford Sport do they have a Ford convertible yeah oh yeah You mean like a Mustang or something? Yeah. Oh. That would be cool? What color would you get it? Right. I feel like you're more of a Miata lady.

Yeah, I could see you on this. A Mazda miata? Yeah, to be. So fast. Can you show me a Mazda miada? You look amazing. Mm-hmm. They're a pretty blonde hair.

Big teteas in the wind. This is a completely natural hair. Do you know that? You look amazing. It looks great. Oh, yeah, that's perfect for her. It doesn't look like horse hair. It looks good.

There you go. I like it. That's adorable. It's fun. Those are really fun to drive show. Yeah, I want one. I like that burgundy band. Okay.

Red. Get it. Get it, buddy. The Mazda Miata. Yeah. Great road trip car. But when you take the thing off, does it look like a convertible pretty or no? What do you mean?

I want to look like I am in a convertible. How do you not look like you're in a convertible in that? Because it's too high. What's too high? The car himself, the convertibles are lower on my imagination. it's your imagination no it's low yeah okay that's it perfect cool that looks rad yeah i think we should work that out if you drive yourself to lake charles that is yours i go from my house yeah all the way to the next town what is the next town in the expressway i don't know i mean do you drive to like

But can you tell me where is UT? I don't even know where you're like downtowny, you know. How about downtown? Can you drive downtown? In the convertible. Yeah. Yes. On a freeway.

Yes. All right, we'll talk about it. No, no. You said it's yours. Now you go. I didn't say it's yours. You're making up word. When did I say it's yours?

If you drive from here to here, it's yours. I said Lake Charles. Okay. I am changing it. If I'll do it. You know how my heart will go from here? to the university and the spreadway by myself? That's not a car reward distance.

You have to go further than that for the car. Like, you can drive it if you want to drive it. We can set up a test drive. But if you want to, like, get a car, you can't be like, hey, I drove 15 minutes. That's not an even exchange. Okay, let's do a test drive. Okay, you can do a test drive.

Okay, yeah, of course. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Let's go a test drive. All right, we'll do a test drive. um check this out this is a pretty cool story i think you'll like this it's rage we've seen before only this time nathaniel radamak convicted for his violent tesla rampages isn't behind the wheel he's at the gym this guy said he's going to sock me in my

face because i walked next to his machine he came up behind me and said hey do me a favor don't i've been walking walk past my machine when i'm using it again i was so taken him back the young lady involved speaking anonymously to hawaii news now the incident she said has happened on Good Friday at a planet fitness in Kahala Honolulu. She took out her phone as things quickly escalated. Things are your problem. I'm telling you right now, things ain't looking good. I'm telling you right now.

Things also not looking good for Radamak who is now in custody facing charges for assaulting two women in Honolulu. He got closer to my daughter's window, reached in and punched her in her face. Diane Ung recalling the May 7th attack, a spokesperson for Hawaii's Department of Corrections, saying he was assaulted by inmates on Monday, sustaining injuries to his face and torso. Gosh. Pretty cool, right? Isn't that a cool story?

Very cool. As cool as it gets. Yeah. What do you think's going on there? Well, he gets prison justice, though. Yeah, that is pretty nice. So, actually. Are we allowed to talk politics?

Are we allowed to talk politics? Yeah, I mean, are you, I didn't know if you had political things to talk about. What would you like to talk about? Maybe I don't. probably best yeah this audience kind of surprises you

with their thoughts sometimes this guy seems like he's pretty cool though the guys here surprises me with the audience there you are oh that's perfect I want a picture of that to put it in my phone we can definitely make that your screensaver

I want you to make that yeah stay away from my machine stay away from my machine when I'm using it yeah I kind of like that though because I feel that way too at a gym I don't want people near me we didn't talk out the casino I know but check this out so Christina and the boys

are coming with me to so I start shooting this movie but then they leave me so I'm going to be alone and in order to like you know feel not alone Christina sent me this link and this is what's going to be with me when she leaves and I'm super excited that she actually did this uh and that she found this check this out this is melody one of our robots she speaks various languages and she's built in a modular fashion so we can take off her face replace it with another face and have her speaking as a

different character our skills are having very realistic skin and our AI is very different it's function to create companion and friendship and social type interactions with people so our robots don't do physical human labor, but they're really meant for personal interaction. So you can think about it at a theme park, at a conference like this, or even at a senior's home where they can keep people company. So what happened is she sent this. The production saw it. I told them, I don't want to be alone. They're going to put AI versions of Christina's voice in the robot, and they're going to give it blonde hair, like similar looks, so it'll feel like she's there. I do for real. Yeah. Isn't that cool? That is cool. And apparently...

He'll like that. You can have sex with it, too. And you think that's cool, too? I think it's great. You know, it's... What is wrong with you? I think it's a nice way. And he can also take my face off and put someone else's face.

So, you know... Well, why don't you assign him to another woman? Spice things up. I'm Melody. Your charming companion from Real Botics. We're all about creating customizable. Human-like robots designed for connection and play, basically, the perfect blend of technology

and companion. Why did the robot go on a diet? Because it had too many bites. She can smile, so I'll have her smile. See, I can't wait to wake up to that. Yeah. Happiness. That's so much love.

Tell jokes and stuff. Is he going to miss you that much? But you know what? He went around the world and being away from you for a while. Yeah. And he didn't have that robot woman there. Yeah, but now I'm just in a house alone. It's different.

You know, Albuquerque. Yeah. I'd like Melody to come there and just talk to me. I'm coming to visit you. Did I tell you about season two of my show? I'm scared to ask. It's cooking up. What is about? Tits.

There is a tits thing. There's one whole entire story that takes place in someone's asshole. So there's a- Tell me that is not true. I don't go that far with you are. Well, here's what happens. We're on- I honestly, no, I interrupt here.

If you get that low in your life, I'm done. Well, here's what happens. So I'm getting a colonoscopy in the episode. So I'm in the hospital, and they give me drugs, and they send a tube into my butthole, right? And the tube has a camera on it. But what happens is there's actually like a little, almost like a alien-like form that has made its way into the camera.

and so he jumps off the camera and then he runs into my asshole and we have like other characters that are alive inside of my anus and like my colon and they have like this huge battle and so when they they fight eventually they fight because they're we make it so that inside my ass is like a town it's like a little town that people live in tell her about her part though oh yeah well that's a different that so at the end when they take it out, I fart, and everybody flies out of my ass onto like the wall, and then all the blood comes up after that. That's the best part. But that's like a huge, it's basically like a Western story, like, you know, guns and like cowboys and Indians. The polyps are all wearing hats and guns and stuff. But it's like a... I am absolutely renounced to be your mother. No, that's enough. If you're going to make a show... Can you pull this closer again for the 35th time? If you are really going to make a show that gets that low, that disgusting, that insulting, and that disrespectful to me, I don't want to get involved in this anymore. That's not your episode, though.

Obviously, it's not my episode. Obviously, it's not. But what's not funny? I think that's... How could you make that better? If you're writing it, you tell me, to me, that's a perfect sketch. We worked really hard on that, yeah. Like, pitch us an idea.

To get people a rectus and then it's a person in there and then you look at a photo and they go through the holding test. I mean, I think it's hilarious. They were laughing. You heard them. Like, so what's a comedy idea you would think would be better? Well, I don't see my comedy idea. I wouldn't go through that area anyway. What could Tommy do?

I don't have his mentality. I don't have his disgusting mentality. Yeah. He's disgusting attitude that comes in the TV and bear. And he seems that funny, for example. There's a lot of people that would love for Tom to burp in front of them, and he charges extra at meet and greets where he will burp. I think you both have a mental problem.

I got at that conclusion. We have another one for you. We have another one for you, where you're a slave owner, like in the 18th. Oh, you like that one. And it's just you on a plantation. It's a really nice plantation. And you're like, it's a, yeah, beautiful oak moss trees, huge, huge manner. And you just go around and you, like, you whip slaves, you beat them up.

Totally made. And you hang them. And that's the end of the sketch. Oh, that's wonderful. Then there's another one. Will you do that one? Of course, it matches my personality. I love to do that stuff.

I match, I kill, I swept, I tried everybody like, shut. There is one that I wanted to pitch you called Titslop, which is there's a, you're living in this kind of, dystopian period where the only way you can pay for things... No wonder why I'm drinking when I come to your show. The only way you can pay for things is you can fart or you can do things with your tits. So that's like you go to the grocery store and they're like, that's 14 farts and you see somebody put their... So because tits are such a commodity, you have over the years, you've increased the size of your

tits. So now they're like quadruple-h tits. They're almost like that right now for real. Well, they're much bigger in this. And you use them to, like, to nurse people, but also to fight people. So, like, you have, like, you swing your tits and you hit people in the face. And people... Where did you get this mentality from? From you. You're my mom.

No, you definitely didn't get it from me. Of course they did. I had nothing to... Maybe your father. No, it's your psychological evaluation. I got it from you. But how much would it take for you to do, titslop? The sketch. $300,000.

For, to do one thing? Yes. But that's the whole budget for the whole thing. Yeah, that's the whole series budget. I can't spend that. Can't you imagine me doing that? Yes. Okay.

For 1,300, yeah. For 1,300? Yeah. I must be desperate for bread today. Are you? No. Okay. But don't you think it'd be very loving to breastfeed people in the sketch and show them your love?

You know, and there's nothing like Mother's Mill? There really isn't. No, I don't have my milk. I'm 80, remember? You can do the paramedic one? What is the paramedic one? So you're driving an ambulance, right? And you show up on a scene where there's been an accident,

and the person is on the ground and they're hurt, and then you stand, you're okay, and they're like, ah, like that. And then you go pee on them, you make caca on them, and you throw up. Oh, Tommy, please. And you throw up on this. Please, stop there. They're healed. I'm glad. Stop it. No, I can't stand it. But listen to what he's saying is that you have the power to heal people with your vomit and your urine and your feces. You guys are so sick. It's just, I can't believe this makes money. There's another one where you, this one's kind of a stretch, but it's also like, I love the idea because it's counter what you expect, which is that you go to Cambodia and you take these children and you put them in a shipping container and you bring them to.

to Los Angeles, and you basically you traffic them to get to labor and everything, but eventually they escape and they're saved. I put him in a container. To ship it across the Pacific, yeah. And then they get to L.A. And you sell them. You have a dirty mind to extreme.

It's called Bad Thoughts. That's the name of the show. It's called Bad Thoughts. That's what you have 100% in your score. Yeah, bad thoughts. Do you want to do that one? Yeah, that one's, you don't have to show your ta-tas. You don't have to pee or peer on anyone.

No, I just traffic children. I just traffic children. Yeah. But in a funny way. But they also, they also. Why don't she traffic the children? Well, here's a thing. I'm not a good actress.

You're a good actress. Your mistake in this story is that you introduce them to softball. And through the wonder and the thrill of playing the game of softball, they find friends that help them escape this life that you've sold them into. How can I sell the children? I save them by saving them. No, you don't save them. You're the trafficker.

You're the person that goes and gives them candy, gets them into the shipping container, sells them for profit in Los Angeles because you're a child trafficking kingpin. That's a monster. Yeah, it's a monster of a person. Yeah, but I am not a monster of a person. Yeah, you're an actor. Yeah, you're acting now. I don't, I can act like a monster person.

Sure, you can. No, you can. That's because you can. No. And you, you know, never has heard of his condition?

Well, there's, no, I've never heard that actually. The thief judge everybody in his own condition. Oh,

interesting. Because he thinks that this is something that excites him just to mention and then you ship them

and you steal them and you sell them. Well, being that we're kind of going through the process right now, which would you sign up for?

Did you see my blows? That's really cool. Cool. Thank you. So which would you do? Would you do child trafficking? No way. Charo the slave owner. What was that? Charo the slave owner? I am a slave owner and I whip them and hang them. Yeah. That's local. Okay. Would you do the tit slap? Where you fart and you feed people with your tits and you fight them with your tits? I tit. The people. Yeah. You defeat them and you feed them with your tits.

And you're, would you do that one? No. And then we, so you'll do the colon, you'll do the one where the people live in the asshole. You'll do that. Oh my gosh, what is wrong with you? Well, this is the show. This is like we've been working on. We've been working on this show.

I can do any of those things. Of course you can. So these are my choices. People get inside my colon and go through my, all my insights. Yes. The dirty parts. Mm-hmm. And that's part of the wonderful evidence.

Yeah. people die and I am going to sweep them by pooping and peeing on them. Oh, there's that one too. You're right, the paramedic one. Sorry, yeah. Then there is the one that I have a slave and I bid them to death. And what is the good part that I do? Nothing.

Well, the stories are bad thoughts. That's supposed to be bad thoughts. Oh, bad thoughts. I dream that I have a slave and I have bid them to death. Yeah. I mean, that's the story. There's always more slaves. There's an endless supply of people.

Yeah, that's the part I didn't tell you about that I told her. at the end you're very sad of the slave one because this is kind of, it shows the emotion because you've killed all your slaves and then you go

I kill all my slaves? Yeah, but because you're good at training and then you go to an auction and you buy like 50 more and you're so happy at the end of it. So you're like,

oh, I got new slave. So there's like a upside to it. It's not just dark. It ends on a high now. You're trying to say it's like a feel good. It feels good at the end because you're like,

look at all my new slaves. And I have new start. Yeah. Yeah, so I killed them at a fresh beginning, yeah. No way. You won't do that one? That's so funny. What is wrong would you tell me?

So the paramedic one it is. Yeah, I think that one would be great for you. All right, put her down for the paramedic one. Wow. Charo's new podcast, muchacado comes out tomorrow on the Your Mom's House YouTube channel. You can also listen to it wherever you get podcast. Please rate, review, and subscribe. And please interact with us about Charo's new show.

give her feedback, give her thoughts. Please, please, please. Just be nice to me. Be nice to her. Povercita Charo. And hopefully we'll work our way to getting a miata. All right, thanks for listening.

Thanks for watching. Bye, mommies. Cha-cha. Your burps are just violent rips. How angry would your mom get coming up when you're going on my dad? Let it grow and build. I like your burps the best. Because I feel like your burps the best, because I feel like they always tell a story.

Please. BIMF. BIMF. BIMF. This kind of sounds of men. Get my point. Put it in that fucking pussy roller salt. Son of us, dear?

Uh... Yeah. MIMF. Viv. Viv. Taking my language. Just to let it glow. In the last episode, I got a good.

In the last episode, I had a really... Bad bite! I got a bad bite! Bukuketuket Bungi Bungi Bucke Bucke Bhopper shit up Bhop to shit up

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