Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Christine's Back + Corey Taylor Talks Dave Grohl and Jane's Addiction Drama | YMH Ep. 778
Episode Date: September 25, 2024SPONSORS: - Go to https://zbiotics.com/YMH to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use YMH at checkout. - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the Draf...tKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. - Try BlueChew FREE when you use our promo code YMH at checkout--just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. This week on Your Mom's House Podcast, Tom Segura and Christina P are joined by Corey Taylor of Slipknot! Mommy Christina makes her return to the show after her short hiatus getting Oasis back together! Christina is so glad to be back she even cries some happy tears, she brings us all up to speed about what she's been up to and how she's been feeling. Tommy Buns opens the show with a clip of a guy with some cool advice, which leads to Christina criticizing the inclusivity of the show Bridgerton. This TV gripe inspires Tom to share his own, true crime documentaries focus too much on the victims. Tom also brings Christina up to speed with Fancy Chef and even gets him on the phone to book him for YMH. The main mommies also dive deeper into Oasis, washcloths, a new heir to Fedsmoker's crown, and some cool clips of hole care and chiropractic magic. Corey Taylor then joins the show to talk about Slipknot's (the album) 25th anniversary, Iowa, and how the band has sustained after all these years. Tom and Christina also get Corey's thoughts on Oasis getting back together, Perry Farrell fighting Dave Navarro, and Dave Grohl's shocking baby momma drama. Corey also checks out some Horrible or Hilarious clips and also indulges in some of Christina's TikTok curations. This is a really HIGH and TIGHT episode! Your Mom’s House Ep. 778 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinaponline.com/tour-dates https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome back and we are very excited to welcome back into
Oh my God.
The studio, very emotional.
Christina P everybody, she's back.
I'm alive.
Thanks guys. I'm so embarrassed that I'm crying. I did this after the pandemic too when I returned to stand-up.
Sorry. That's okay. I'm so embarrassed. I hate having feelings publicly. You should have feelings. I know it's been a traumatic fucking
time, but I'm back.
Um, yeah, I'm just fucking happy to be alive. It's pretty good.
And I mean, I don't wanna take your thunder.
Well, we both went through some,
first of all, I thought you'd be excited.
I had.
Yeah.
I don't know how you put on chapstick.
You have to open your mouth wide to put chapstick on.
We learned that.
Like one day in the car,
I was watching him put chapstick on. I'm like. One day in the car I was watching him put
chapstick on and I'm like, you can close your mouth when you do that too.
No. You get like that. It's perfect. Now I understand the two of us have been through
a lot in the last couple months. And I think the big news, if we were to tell everybody,
of course
The big news, yeah is that in the last couple months
You saw
Me get my invisiblevisalign removed.
Yes.
And it was so fucking traumatic and painful.
You don't realize that, like,
they glue those things onto your teeth.
The pain.
Like you were going through your shit or whatever,
but like, so I had them on
both upper and lower teeth and
I'm wearing these fucking things and you got to put the bands on and it's every goddamn day And then you're going in there and you're like you're like this sucks
So I'm getting ready to shoot my series
Yeah, and I tell you I can't have these fucking things
on my teeth, like take them off.
I didn't realize how painful it is to have,
they're glued onto your teeth.
So they're in their-
Yeah, they're braces, babe.
That's what they do.
Yeah, they're scraping them off and I'm having like,
and there's suction and there's nerve pain.
And it's like-
Okay, I gotta go.
I'm like, okay.
I'm gonna watch you.
This is the worst thing that a human being has ever suffered through.
You know what I mean?
I do.
I can't even imagine your drama.
No, it was horrible.
It was horrible, babe.
It was horrible.
Yeah, and it's gonna be an end
to like your progress aesthetically.
Yeah, there's no more progress now.
You're just stuck like this.
No, because, oh my God, it is amazing how this shit works.
They showed me the photos of day one. You look like a bulldog the day one. I was like, yeah
And then you see it and then it does it in real time
It goes just like this and you see all my teeth move like that. My teeth moved
He's like that. It would have been better if you had
Committed to this more to the program and I was just like, you get this bullshit
off my fucking teeth, finally.
I'm so happy for you.
How did you?
What'd you have?
How did you?
What'd you have?
Your struggle.
Well, are you gonna do a one man show on this?
I might, I might.
Or write a book or something?
I might, I've written a book,
I might write another book about it.
How about your Invisalign Saga?
It was horrible.
I can't believe that.
What about you, what'd you have?
There's nothing, nothing compared to that.
I know.
That sounds terrible.
Yeah, it's been, look, look, I'm,
I gotta be, honestly, I'm pretty fucking traumatized.
Like, I don't, ugh.
I mean, it's, I'm finally reentering the world
and it feels weird.
And I think, I know I joked about writing a show about it, but I think
I might have to because so many women go through this. And it's very life changing. For people that
don't know, it's tit issues. Right? Tit cancer. So last time you guys saw me, I had a lumpectomy and then they gave me breast reduction and they took a pound of titmue out of my
Left boob and I still had a D cut which is wild. It's pretty wild
Sneaky big tits, but then yeah
And we thought as many people did that that would be the end of it. Yeah, then you're good
You're done and you're done. No, you're a little lumpectomy and you're just a tiny bit of cancer.
And it turns out there's a lot. There's a lot more.
There was, I mean I'll just tell you guys because why not.
They found it was 17 centimeters.
Yeah. It's about 6.6 inches.
And it's not the unique thing if I may say is that it wasn't a ball.
No.
People imagine tumors as always like a mass.
Yeah.
And yours was like a mass. Yeah, and yours was
considered a sheet
Like a sheet of cancer. It's it was so that's six and a half
That's a six and a half inch dick in my tit. That's not at all. Nobody said that
Nobody even once but thank God I had such big tits
It was the fact that my tit no, I'm serious because the fact that my tit was so big,
they told me basically if I had skipped that mammogram,
then in a year I would have had invasive cancer.
But thank God I had enough room for a dick
to be in my tit, otherwise dude,
it would be like in my chest, it was gnarly.
So anyway, they found that big ass cock in my,
and then, okay.
Right, 10 days after your first surgery
Which was a by the way, the lumpectomy was a big surgery
It's just what people know like terrible they cut you open. They removed a large amount of pound of tissue
Yeah from my left one. Yes, and then they're like
You know, you have drains. It's a whole thing and then they're like, alright
Well now, you know, you're probably gonna be good.
And then 10, 11 days later, you go under the knife again.
Well, cause then we get the phone call from the doc,
which is never good.
When I'm like, all right, is everybody there?
We gotta get in here like, ah, shit.
And then, yeah, she told us that it was way bigger
because it doesn't show up on MRI,
which by the way, I want to tell women,
I'm not going to do a ton of like these earnest PSAs,
but I will tell you that mammograms only pick up 85%
of breast cancers.
And I had like a sneaky rare kind,
and LCIS is sneaky as shit.
Get a breast MRI, if you can get a breast MRI. If you can, get a breast MRI,
because that can actually pick it up.
And yeah, it was undetected for years.
It was growing in me for five years.
Move this, getting feedback.
Oh, sorry.
Anyway, so the doc is like surprised.
There goes everybody there, and then I was like,
yeah, and they're like, ah, fucking Christina's that bitch.
Yeah.
And I was like, no, she's here too.
And she was like, oh, oh, oh, all right, good.
She's like, how's your Invisalign?
Yeah.
And Doc was concerned.
She was worried too, yeah.
So then she says, we're gonna have to cut off
your left breast.
And I go, great, take the right one too.
Because what's the point?
Why would I have, you know what I mean?
I'm into symmetry.
The old cyclops tits?
Yeah, so stupid.
So then I did an eight hour surgery. Yeah.
Double double mastectomy. They took off both of my, my fun bags.
And then they gave you temp tits, the temp tracks. Yeah.
Which I have now, which are falsies. They're, they're implants. Yeah. And, um,
yeah, the funny, the funny, the fun part about the second surgery was like eight hours long.
And I woke up out of anesthesia and they're like, you were totally lucid.
Like you were having conversations with nurses and like, Hey Elizabeth,
how's the baby doing? Like, I think I had slept. Like I had a good rest.
That's so good, man. I'm so jealous.
You always say that when they take me away.
I know like the anesthesia is like, I was actually,
I pulled the anesthesiologist aside and I was like,
is there anything that we can do?
Like if I give you cash?
And she was like, what?
But I just, I think it's so cool.
But I do think if you were to pose the question
to like this audience and you go,
which would you rather have?
Cancer or Invisalign that people would probably choose cancer Invisalign sucks that you have no idea It sucks so bad like it is effective
But it's so traumatic for you to do having your teeth fucked with like that
I think and you're an adult with braces, which is so shameful. You should be ashamed having them scraped off
I know it's seriously,
it was worse than what you went through.
Okay, so now that we are-
Wait, then I had a complication.
So then my right tick gets infected.
And now I have the drains infected, I have four drains,
one of them's infected.
Anyway, I had to go back and do another surgery.
So now it's three surgeries in five weeks.
And then after the third surgery,
they give me this, I've drains and then a cool box
that's around my neck.
Yeah.
It's a wound vacuum.
A suction vacuum, yeah.
So demeaning.
Every time I get up, it's like, meh, meh, meh.
I can't do anything, it's a brick.
And then it's like, whoo, you hear it going on.
She's like, I feel.
So awful.
I know, and I just kept thinking,
you don't know Invisalign.
You just don't know in Vizaline
You just don't know what it's like. You really don't
There's a lot of people right now nodding. They're like
So anyway got the wound back off got my drains pulled that was only like what two weeks ago and now I'm back to being a human being and
Then now I do radiation on my tit
They're gonna laser my tit for six weeks and then now I'm done
But I am cancer-free and fucking done and then they're just gonna
Yeah fry my left tit and then in next year I get to have my breast reconstructed
Properly proper with my proper like with my belly fat
I don't know if you noticed but I'm really into the Royals and Camilla Parker Bowles hair
I've noticed it cuz I don't know if you've noticed that I live with you and I see what you fucking watch 24 seven.
I have so many thoughts on so many British things.
There's so many. There's so much going on.
I even like I'm on Apple TV. I'm like, what is all this shit?
And you're like, it's a special category called Brit Box.
It's only British programming. And I'm like, great. How do I delete it?
You know why I'm fascinated with them? It's because they're so civilized.
And I'm not.
And I think part of me wants to be like regal like that
because I'm such a fucking donkey.
That makes a lot of sense.
Like I wanna be like them.
It's who you aspire to kind of be like.
Yep, but I'm never.
And then you kind of go through these waves's who you aspire to kind of be like. Yep, but I'm never.
And then you kind of go through these waves probably where you present them and
Oh yeah.
And then you're like, but I do. It's like the club that won't let you in. What is that?
Of course, of course.
Nobody wants to be a member of a club that will have them, right?
Right, right, right. I don't want to be them, but I admire the, like they know which fork to use and stuff.
Yeah, sure.
It's never gonna be my life.
It's a big deal.
All right.
I'm gonna fix my makeup, I'm so embarrassed.
Well please weigh in.
Which would you rather have, cancer or Invisalign?
And with that.
Cancer, hands down.
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pound she looked in the bag this is solid April fool bitch go lose some
weight you know fucking quarter pound get your fat ass out this store
pretty good I love this guy get him on kill Tony he's ready ready Yeah. yeah well I guess the other thing we should point out is that we have to have
like pretty huge announcement oh wow it's a cat eating Kimball do you want to
give the date and time shit I do yeah I have it offhand, because I remember August 27th, 1103 PM.
Do you wanna?
Go ahead.
Tom Segura had a double pipe classic.
That's a rare event.
Yeah, yeah.
That was so, it was so casual how it happened.
I was laying down and you just walked past me.
You needed to wipe down.
And it was a burp and a fart.
I was walking around the bed to my side
and I actually had my phone.
That's why I didn't notice.
I was looking at my phone and I went,
at the same time.
And you, I go, yes.
You go, hey.
I go, what?
You go, you just had a double pipe classic.
I was like, you go write it down, write it down,
write down your time.
I was like, holy shit.
Yeah.
Because it's so casual.
The way you did it, you didn't even appreciate it.
That's a rare fact.
Oh, top top.
It's very rare, he's right.
I didn't appreciate it.
But then I stopped, you know?
It was sort of like watching somebody being like,
oh, you know, that's Hailey's Comet.
And you're like, oh, shit, really?
It's like an eclipse, like we were in the wildlife movie.
Yeah, it was pretty amazing.
Yeah, that felt good.
And then, so speaking of fat chicks,
I've been laying in bed watching a ton of British shit,
right, and I'm really into Bridgerton,
as you know, which is, I know, listen, I know it's-
We both have been watching a lot of stuff.
We'll get into mine in a moment, but go ahead.
Like it's super gay.
I know that.
And also like, I don't like the forced inclusivity
of the show.
I think, I will say this.
And I was so proud of this person on staff
who said the thing that I secretly text to other women.
And she just said it out loud.
And I was like, yes, this is exactly the truth.
It's that forced inclusivity on Bridgerton, which makes it historically inaccurate.
It's just true.
Right.
And for people that might not be aware, I mean, I'm sure you sense it in society, but
when you get into production on shows, especially television shows more than feature films,
shows are always like, you pitch your story
and your characters and they're like,
and what do they all look like?
And they want you to be like,
yeah, so me and my best friend who's Indian.
And they're like, that's good.
They literally are like,
yeah, like can you show us,
tell us about the diversity of this show?
And it's just funny to see that done in a period piece
because it's like, well, that's not what would
have been going on in that.
Not in the least.
There's no way in hell that the royalty or the,
sorry, the aristocratic whatever in, you know.
Another way of saying this is when you watch this show,
you're kind of fed up with the blacks.
Well, yeah, the blacks.
Sure.
The forced and then you know, there's the Indian girl
and now she, oh it's fine, but you know what?
I actually got used to it.
By season two.
How hard was that?
No, in the beginning I was upset
because I watch a lot of these old school British shows
and they're all just whiteys.
Pasty, inbred, weird whiteys.
But I got used to the inclusivity of the racial diversity.
But then in fucking season, this last one,
they made the fat girl the hot chick.
She's like, she's the most desired one.
She ends up, and spoiler alert,
if you haven't watched the last season.
Press pause.
She gets to marry the hottest guy of Bridgerton land.
Her?
Her, Penelope Pig.
Jesus, take it easy.
Well, that's how mad I was at her.
I was laying there recovering from all these surgeries,
fucking seething at Bridgerton.
Like, nuh-uh, dude.
She gets the hottest guy. Does that headline say
on the left side third down
far left
What that one?
Nicole Collin is a little bit fat and a lot hot is that mm-hmm. That's the headline. Yep from the Guardian. Mm-hmm
Oh and oh and then it says unlike her I dream of the day when we're not talking about this.
I mean, look.
Well, I gotta tell ya.
I fuckin' hate myself, and it's all I wanna talk about.
I fuckin' hate pretending like reality isn't real.
Same zines.
I just hate it. I hate it so much. I hate it so, and't real. I just hate it.
I hate it so much.
I hate it so, and here's the other thing too.
It's not as though her character on the show
were that confident.
Like that girl is confident.
But Penelope's character is like,
she's like a wallflower.
I was telling Berthes, this is what I love about,
like everybody, like you people in your,
you say nice things, you know what I mean? I love about, like everybody, like you, people in your,
you say nice things, you know what I mean?
So like if I'm, if I'm, I'm just talking about me
in particular, like feel like oh, self doubt, self loathing,
my body issue, whatever.
But my favorite thing about pro athletes,
like my friends that are professional athletes,
is that they all are 100%.
Like my friend John Feliciano goes, oh, I see you
come from a family of flat asses. I saw your mom's ass and your sister's ass.
Jesus Christ.
And he's like, so that's why you have no ass. I don't know, like your whole family's like
that. Like they're so direct. And you go like, oh, it's kind of refreshing that they're not
like, you know, it's what kind of what we're talking about. It's like, people watch that,
everybody has the same thought.
Yes.
Everybody just goes, oh wow, that's a big girl.
So inclusive.
Yeah, and it is fucking, so you're bothered
by this fucking inclusivity.
Forced.
Forced inclusivity in a period piece especially
that is not reflective of reality.
I'm bothered that in my true crime documentaries,
they keep fucking focusing on the victims.
I hate when they humanize the victims
and it bums you out for the, like, I wanna see the crime.
Oh yeah.
Focus on the crime and focus on the investigation.
How did they solve the crime?
When you're like, here she is in graduating high school,
and it's like, dude, I'm not trying to get bummed out by this.
Stop humanizing me.
100%.
It's like pornography.
Like imagine if you had to get to know the girl first
before you masturbated to the scene.
And I've said this a million times.
Every time I've met a porn star, I'm like, well, you just ruined it
because you're supposed to be something that exists out there.
You're an object.
You're not a real person.
Now I've met you and now you humanize it.
You can't go back.
I agree because I've been resting so much.
By the way, how have you handled me sleeping so much?
Has that been upsetting?
Of course it's upsetting.
Of course.
But I've been getting into some of your sad murder stuff.
Christie Naps, yeah.
Yeah.
So you reached last night or the night before,
it was cool because I had forgotten 9-11
and then you watched a documentary
and then I got to remember all the traumas.
Minute by minute, they went through it minute by minute.
Literally minute by minute.
It's really good, it's on Apple Plus,
and it's like inside the war room on the day of 9-11.
Did you repress those memories?
Bring them right back.
It brings them right back.
You're like, oh yeah,
that was one of the most sad experiences of my life.
And then you just go like, now it's time to go to sleep.
That was horrible to watch that.
That was horrible.
But again, and again, victims, victims.
It's like fucking, just show the cool stuff.
Just show the fucking Hodgies blowing planes up.
I just want to like, when I watch these murder docs,
it's like, I like seeing the behavioral profile stuff.
I like that too, actually.
Yeah, and I like seeing, here's what happened at the crime. And I like the detectives. Yeah, and I like seeing here's what happened at the crime
And I like the detectives and then they're like, it's like okay fucking World War two Docs
Nazi stuff. It's like yeah, cool. Let's watch this shit. And then they're like, oh, here's some Holocaust footage
It's like no, I don't want to see fucking people
Emanciated in a camp You're bumming me out, bro. I don't wanna see it. Cut that shit out.
Like in this 9-11 doc, remember when they told
the story about the married couple?
And he's like, it was my birthday.
Oh, fuck.
She was gonna come back on the birthday,
and then Barbara left a note on my pillow.
And then he reads the note, and I'm like, bro,
or no, he had it committed to memory.
No, he had it, he had it.
Oh, he had to read it? Yeah, he read it. He read it. Yeah
It was horrible. Give a shit about Barbara. It was horrible. It was horrible and I don't want to be sad
Yeah, I know again it was to me that was ruining the documentary totally like I don't want to get I don't want to feel sad
I want to see I want to read about it like an investigative, you know, like journalists would like cold details
Yeah of like here are the facts. I want information. Well, this is why I like British television because it's
Emotion and it feels safe and it's just like I'm so sorry. Have I insulted you?
Yeah
Well shout out to all the documentary filmmakers
that are not making their docs super bummers
with a bunch of victim shit.
Just show me the cool stuff.
No, you fucking assholes.
Unbelievable.
But yeah, but first of all,
yeah, I don't like the Penelope that got to be
like the hot girl.
That's so dumb,
because it's not even like he was going hogging.
It's not like he was really into bad jics. And then it's so implausible.
It's just ridiculous.
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gaming resources, see dkng.co slash FT Ball. Well, you're back and there's stuff to show you.
Oh, dude. First of all, Fancy Chef. Fancy Chef, Fancy Chef, Fancy Chef.
I, you know, I was holding back because my whole dream was to introduce Fancy Chef, Fancy Chef, Fancy Chef, Fancy Chef.
I was holding back because my whole dream was to introduce Fancy Chef to you on the
show and then he took over my life in a big way.
So there was no, I couldn't repress him.
I had to share him with you in our life.
I was going to try to introduce him to you here.
But yeah, Fancy Chef is just, I mean.
Say my name, say my name. This is the Beyonce baby. Look how lovely, look how nice. But yeah, fancy chef is just I mean
Look how pretty and gorgeous by me the war-winning chef how nice So I'm at a rucola when I tell you that's what we taste that flavor love is gonna be something special
Luxurious. I see yes indeed and fabulous. That is beautiful. That is nice. That's like that is for the ladies
That is for the ladies. Yes got the start to put up the world
fabulous at night that's the beyond city
that's the beyond city come to the next one arrived
that is the piazza i think this is the piazza this is the piazza
say my name say my name fancy
say my name
fabulous say my name say my name, say my name.
Say my name.
I got it.
Fancy chef.
Beyonce hit me up, Beyonce hit me up.
What do you think, what's the green in there?
Is that?
I don't know, it might be leaves from the outside.
There's strawberries.
I know that he made an incredible lamb shank
ranch dressing, honey, and berries in a wine glass
that I was absolutely mesmerized by.
I also like when he includes store-bought cakes.
And he's just like, check this shit out.
Oh, it's mint.
Right, that's definitely a store-bought cake.
Yeah.
Like from the grocery store.
Beautiful and nice. That's beautiful and nice by the chef.
How remarkable by the chef.
Remarkable.
But the lemon wedge,
I wouldn't put the lemon wedge next to the chocolate.
Look at all those berries right there.
You almost missed that.
No, I saw it, don't you worry.
It is fancy and nice though.
Such an eclectic mix of... Is he an employee somewhere like a hotel?
You're talking is this five-star world-class chef an employee?
You mean
No, of course not. He runs his own shit. He's... I mean that's fancy and nice as hell, dude
Yeah, of course it is. He crushes that. What do you think he's doing?
You can hire him if you have a mansion or if you're a millionaire millionaire love to yeah
The okay, I got a wash my chicken. I got vinegar. You're watching it. This is how you wash your chicken
One thing I didn't understand here. Are you supposed to wash with the backside of the brush? No, you shouldn't flip that over
You can also just run
To brush wash your chicken
wash your chicken. No, this is wrong.
Beautiful chef.
Wash your chicken.
That's really big in the black community there.
What's that? Washing your chicken like this.
With vinegar? I've heard this before.
And the toothbrush backwards. I don't know about the backwards.
That might be a fancy chef fancy way of doing it.
Do you think this is the black people thing?
No, I'm saying I always have heard people be like,
black guys be like, did you wash your chicken?
Yes.
But with vinegar?
Wait, where's any?
Speaking of black guys.
That's 818-512.
Okay, so Zola has spoken to fancy chef a few times.
And?
We're trying to get him to come and cook for us and do the podcast and he's a little hard to pin down. He's spoken to Fancy Chef a few times. And? And we're trying to get him to come and cook for us
and do the podcast and he's a little hard to pin down.
He's very busy.
He said it's like being the president.
How many phone calls he's getting every day.
Of course.
Yeah, so we should try calling him real quick.
Of course.
Let's see if we can get him.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
He has three phone numbers.
Who does that remind you of?
Does that remind you of somebody? The president?
RPC?
Oh yeah.
Multiple numbers.
Like a flip phone.
Hello?
Fancy Chef.
Yes.
Hey, it's Tom at YMH pod.
How are you?
All right.
Look, one of my producers here, Zolo,
said he spoke to you about possibly coming in
To be a guest and cook for us, and I just wanted to see if we could lock something down
We're in Austin, Texas
Oh great is that possible that we can confirm that
Yeah, I gave him all information oh he has the information. Oh, he has all the info.
Okay.
And then, do we have-
He has everything, my name, everything.
Okay.
Do we have a date?
Email.
He said the 24th.
Okay.
All right.
So, would you, we can expect you then if, you know, he'll send obviously the first class
ticket and the ground transportation.
He didn't do, he didn't, I don't think he did anything.
Well, no, no.
I see him right now. He said he has, he don't think he did anything. Well, no, no, I see him right now.
He said he already reached out to our travel booker
to book it.
Oh, you know where I'm coming from?
No, where are you?
I don't know, he might know.
Where are you coming from?
Miami.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah, we have directs there from there.
Does he want a preference sheet from us?
Oh yeah, as far as like the cuisine,
will you just be creating
something or do you take requests or how does that work?
I don't care, whatever y'all want to do. Really? I'm first down, been doing it for 40 years. Wow. That's amazing.
And you're self-taught, right? Yes and no. I like to say yes and no what I grew up in the kitchen at four years old
Okay, but I trained under two chefs. I'm Jay Renee in New York and seppy wrangley and
Russo, let's start. I did airline catering under chef Russo. Okay. I
Did all New York under seppy wrangley under Renee
so dad so it's kind of like both but I did New York under Seppi Ringley and Andre Renne.
So, I danced, so it's kind of like both, but
on the job, it's cool though. Okay.
Can I ask you a culinary question that I just don't know?
I was watching your videos.
What's the idea behind washing a chicken with vinegar?
You can do it with vinegar or lemon juice. It just knocks out the bacteria.
And then the toothbrush, you scrub it? Yeah, I just did something creative, something different.
It's all in one. I could have used my hands. Oh, you can use hands? I could have used my hands,
but I just used the toothbrush. Got you. The backside. That's all I want. Okay. What do y'all prefer? Anything specifically?
I actually get, I tried to make it simple. I actually get, I think he told me two people
or four. I don't know what the count was. I mean extra fancy. New York strip. Okay.
I could have did red new potatoes, asparagus and a sauce. If I want to change it, I don't want if everybody don't eat red meat I could have did uh,
Can we do sea bass?
I can do sea bass. I don't know if I want to wrestle with seafood. Oh, okay
Also, oh I could have did uh
A quarter chicken or I could get uh
Uh anything but I don't want to wrestle with seafood really. Oh, okay
So I don't mean wrestle with it with the smell but yeah, I hear you just yeah
Do y'all have a kitchen I could use or yeah, yes
Yes
And then dessert wise could you do dessert too?
Yeah
I told me get I told me get seasonal fruit though, remember?
When it says seasonal fruit, if you go to a restaurant and you see the menu, it depends
on what season it is for that pizza to be in season.
For sure.
Yes.
Some people don't know what it means.
Of course, we can do seasonal fruit.
Would you be like down to bake, you know, like I don't know, some type of cake or something
like that?
I don't know, some type of cake or something like that? I don't know. I probably do a, uh, I probably do a, uh, a strawberry mousse.
Yeah. Oh my God. By the way, you really have an affinity for strawberries, right?
Seems like you love strawberries.
Yeah, I do. Um, the smell and the taste and, uh, the floreceness of the color and the color
contrast, uh, really stands out a lot.
And then is that your own creative take?
Cause a lot of times I've, it's fascinating.
I've seen a lot of berries in glasses.
Like, is that something that you were kind of mentored on
or did you just kind of take that on your own?
I kind of took it on my own,
but in a lot of high endend restaurants it is like that.
Yep.
So it is creative and that's really the only way to go about it.
Oh my god. I saw this outstanding, it was like a piece of art where it was a glass,
you had berries, a rack of lamb, I think ranch and honey and maybe some floral
petals or something in there. It looked like there's something in a museum. It was incredible
Okay, anything but seafood, yeah, I want what he wants
Yeah, I think we would love to be just like let you take the reins and and do your thing, you know, but definitely
dinner love to be just like let you take the reins and and do your thing you know but definitely dinner um and some dessert would be and then i don't know do you do wine pairings or should
we bring in somebody for that uh it might be good to bring somebody in i could do wine
pairing that's not good but uh i could do wine pairing do i want something in particular i mean
tell you the truth i didn't want to do anything
I knew I wanted to do something that I could just
Swirl the top my head no not like doing it cuz I get bored easy. Oh sure sure you're an artist
That's how I keep the innovativeness and the creativity is you know, I just do my own
This is really how a lot of dishes are. Every dish is created.
There's no dish that, you know, it's not created by somebody that didn't create
when they own mindset.
It doesn't work like that.
You know, so the more you create on your own mindset, the better it is.
You become someone that's, uh, you know, an innovator and it's a trend to start.
So many people call me with that.
I get calls every single night.
I get so many calls during the day.
I got three phones.
I get over 3,000 calls a day.
Wow.
3,000, Jesus.
So is most of, you don't work at any establish,
it's all private right now?
Yeah, I do a part.
3,000, God.
That's amazing, man. I do a part. Wow, I amazing man. Like I said, y'all want to change it, y'all want to add something or maybe when I get there I may do some extra because like I said I cook all day you like in the kitchen.
Yeah. No yeah we see I mean the I don't know how you keep up with the your feed
you're just always posting sometimes the same video multiple times, but
it's just like, it's incredible to see that level of productivity.
Yeah, I got a lot of feedback and a lot of, I got calls from the, what's this place called?
In the Middle East.
Oh, like in UAE, like Abu Dhabi or Dubai?
Yeah, Dubai.
The prince called me, his assistant.
I got like 8,000 million calls in Canada.
Texas called me, Chicago called me.
I've been in calls since I just all began.
It all was just kind of like a mistake, I will say.
Maybe if I had to, but it wasn't done intentionally.
I just got creative one day and just took off.
I love it, man.
Well, you're worldwide.
I'm getting to that statement.
Clearly, you're worldwide.
And I'm looking at the guy that you spoke to, and he's locking down your travel right
now.
So he'll be in touch with you.
His name is Josh.
And yeah, we'll do the car service and fly you first of course put you up and your fee
And we're just really excited to eat your food man
I can't really bring things always a house when I bring my knives
I had them stolen number tops. Yeah, I'm a airline when I bring my own roll up chef knife here tonight
Yeah, no, we'll be all set up. It's basically make sure they shop but yeah you I really didn't want to just do to sit down
I wanted to really and truly like
entertain far as the
The podcast go I didn't want to just you know, I didn't want to just do that. That would be pretty boring for me
I think you'll highlight it a lot the live cooking it with you know I didn't want to just do that. That would be pretty boring for me.
I think you'll highlight it a lot, the live cooking,
the questions, so on and so forth.
That would pretty much just add the icing on the cake.
Okay, well we'll do even a,
we'll do a reconfirmation of the checklist before you come,
so we're just triple sure that you have everything you need.
And yeah, man, you know, we'll have tons of fresh fruit, seasonal fruit, and whatever you request as far as equipment, it'll be there.
And we're really excited.
Alright, this is one thing I require.
Yes.
Also, no paper plates or anything.
Okay.
No.
You got it.
No paper plates, no paper plastic. Hey, write got it. No paper plays no paper plastic
They write that down was dishes, but I forbid my gun and I don't think I can go that route
But I just need the nice plates. Yeah
I gave them a setup if I get like a table and get a white table floor nice glasses
You'll see how beautiful it'll be and I'm telling you the podcast gonna go
to be and I'm telling you the podcast gonna go a lot. Just that alone is really truly gonna add you know color contrast and professionalism to it.
You got it man. Yeah.
So I'm not asking for much. And it's not nothing y'all can't use on your own afterwards. So
it won't go to waste.
Of course. Great point. Thank you Chef.
I appreciate you.
We'll talk to you soon. Okay, bye.
Thanks. Wow. Thank you chef. We'll talk to you soon. Okay, bye. Wow.
That was unbelievable.
I mean, you guys have been trying to get a hold of him
for a minute, right?
Josh, it's not that fucking hard
to check off the list that he gave you, okay?
We'll have it all.
No paper plates.
We'll have it ready for him.
Seasonal fruit.
Anything you want, minus the entire world of seafood.
Anything but seafood. Anything. I don't even want to fuck with that.
It smells.
I've never heard a chef be like, oh, it smells kind of shitty.
I know.
You're like, what?
I know.
They usually, he likes strawberries.
I'm like, what do you want?
My favorite seafood.
Yeah, don't fuck with that.
Okay.
Anything you want.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, that's pretty incredible moment.
I would like to try those flavors where he puts the lamb, the strawberry and the ranch
together.
I think it's possible.
I think it's interesting in the glassware.
I like it.
I'll tell you, but I think we should get, and I know it's possible and it's worth the
rental or whatever investment, a portable, full, you know what I mean, oven, burners, yeah oven burners yeah we'll have it all
set up we can all have it here and if you fucking fuck up the plates or the silverware i mean you
should by the way get every goddamn piece of cooking equipment known to man for this guy
when i was asking him like what kind of plates he wants cause he's like they need to be like the highest end.
He's like home goods, home goods has the best.
And then he goes, go to the clearance section.
You'll find really good stuff.
He's right.
Top notch.
Well the nice thing is you're going to be taking
that stuff home with you afterwards.
Yeah man.
Yeah.
That's so exciting.
I can't wait for Fancy Chef.
Can I also have something exciting? I have to share with you
Yeah, of course one second. I'll be right back
Seriously, yeah, just vamp a minute
Okay
Today's just like I don't know what's going on. I don't know what is going on with this lady. I
Know I'm just I'm just filling the air. That's what it's called
I'm just talking I
I'm just filling the air. That's what it's called.
I'm just talking.
I am.
I am talking to this wonderful staff
and we're talking about fancy chef coming here.
What am I gonna what?
What do you want him to make you?
Um, sea bass.
He doesn't do that.
Yeah.
With the, my only request.
And then he won't.
And he was like, yeah, no.
What else do you want?
He can make dessert.
I don't know. Maybe.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my God.
That. Wow.
Can you guess what my update is?
Oh, my God.
This is fucking unbelievable, man.
This is.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
Fucking Manchester.
This is a YMH exclusive.
YMH exclusive.
YMH exclusive.
What did you do while you were gone?
Guess what I made happen?
We manifested it.
It fucking, it happened, which is really, I think, crazy,
because it was not in the ethers.
It really wasn't.
When I presented this option to Liam and to Noel Gallagher,
Oasis is back together.
Incredible.
Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.
Yeah, no, it was fucking.
I think it's this guy right here.
I'm serious.
But you said, I watch a lot of detective shows. Go ahead Mike. You said yeah
That you would go airtight with oasis in order to get them back together and then
What we know is the end of the story
Oasis announced they're gonna do shows again for the first time in 25 years. Yep
So what happened what happened
That's for me to know no no that's for everyone. No, you guys know if I can happen
Here's a problem. Is that okay? Here's what I did. I promised them the DP they everybody knows everybody watches this podcast
Nolan Liam
We love the idea might we, we're on board.
And then now it's to get them to-
Manchester.
Manchester, I'm the, what is he saying?
I'm the Duke of Manchester.
We have to get them to America.
To do this.
Right.
Oh no, you need a new offer,
because they already announced they're doing dates.
Right, and I have to make-
You have to do something, well no,
you have to make good, because they're already together.
Yeah, I know.
You have to raise the bar. I don't know,. Yeah, I know. You have to raise the bar.
I don't know, I know, I know.
How do you raise the bar?
I don't know.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ah!
I did say a DP and I think what I meant was an airtight.
And I asked the brother.
Oh, because there's another brother.
There's a third brother that's not a musician.
We can go airtight if you want to bring the brother over.
This is a cool offer.
Yeah, you got it. I mean, I'm just so pumped. I over. This is a cool offer. Yeah, you got it
I mean, I'm just so pumped. I really hope they make it to America. Yeah, will you go to the show? Of course
I'm gonna go to the show agent jeans already knows we're reserving tickets if they go to Vegas
I'd like to see them if they make it I don't know though cuz these fools don't you know, they fight just like fucking
Homeboy punched out Dave Navarro the other night, Perry Farrell. That was fucking crazy.
That was wild.
That was crazy.
Wild.
And Perry agreed to come on your mom's house
and it's been so long.
Where the fuck are you Perry Farrell?
Come on and tell us your side of the story.
I'm dying to hear what is up between Perry and Dave.
What's the beef?
Where's the beef?
Do you like Oasis?
Do you respect them?
You do.
Oasis, yeah, they're great.
Do you come with me to see them?
Fuck yeah, I would go.
Yeah, they're kinda great.
Yeah.
I'm so fucking stoked.
I would go, more than, like the music is great.
I would go just to hear their shit talking between songs.
I know.
Because I bet it would be fucking hilarious.
Yeah, because Liam's more of the shit talker
and Neil's like the sensitive songwriter, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's pretty fucking great, man.
I know.
Also, I think-
Cause they want fancy some lasagna.
They might get through eight shows
before they break up again.
I know, I think the only show they will probably do
is Manchester, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And then they'll be like, fuck off.
It's so much money though.
They sold out so many tickets so quickly.
The UK just went nuts.
Of course.
I like Oasis.
Yeah. Yeah. I didn't see too. I guess there's like seen as
speaking of the pores I
Know I just realized that it's worth saying yeah, you know I
A while ago. I made this observation that washcloths
Were for the pores but that only pores use them
And so what I did was I investigated this right? I spoke to an anthropologist. I spoke to a dermatologist. I spoke to a panel of pores.
And then I spoke to ultra wealthy people.
And what I discovered is that I was 100% correct.
But I also have since learned that they were onto something
and that those washcloths are just amazing.
And I think that's the most important thing
that I've ever learned.
And I think that's the most important thing that I've ever learned. Yeah, but I also have since learned that they were on to something and that those washcloths are just
amazing for washing your ass and I
Have been using them. I know I've said but like I the other day I was in a hotel and I grabbed the washcloth
I was like, I can't believe I'm one of these guys now and I'm in there
I'm just digging just scrubbing my ass, you know, soapy like
material coming off of the washcloth and then you look at it, it's brown, so you rinse it, you do it again, you know?
And I was like, man, this
really is incredible that they
found this and they kept it to themselves.
But then, hold on, but then you've got this brown nasty washcloth.
Yeah.
In the shower, and what do you do? Just leave it there?
You just throw it down on the ground, yeah.
Yeah.
So disgusting.
Yeah.
But it's really incredible.
They really figured that one out.
And I just wanted to give them a prob.
Yeah, well now you're on board.
You're team washcloth, which is crazy because
I really am.
You're like an Oasis fan.
You're like me now.
I know.
You're garbage.
I am.
Because in the beginning you were such a snob
and people really got on you for this washcloth thing.
They were like, how do you do it?
And I was like with my hands and everybody was like,
you're fucking out of your mind.
And they were right.
I just wanted to say, you were fucking right.
You're right.
So now you're a team poor.
Are you telling me you're one of the poors?
I actually do feel like those who have not,
and most people that I associate with have not done that
and I feel like they're missing out.
I've not tried it, I mean, I don't like it.
I wanna use this guy.
It's incredible, it's really great.
I just don't like- Try it once.
Then I have to clean the washcloth
that's got my ass juice on it, I don't like it.
No, you just throw it away or something.
Well then, who's gonna?
I don't know, just find somebody.
So stupid.
Trash it.
Yo, what did you catch me throwing on your floor
the other day?
Throwing on your floor?
Remember I was talking to you
and there was like something gross.
Was it a bandage?
Like one of my...
Absolutely revolting.
What was it?
I don't know, everything you throw on the ground
is disgusting.
So I don't know, everything you throw on the ground is disgusting. I threw some.
So I don't know how you were like offended
by the dirty ass washcloth.
You have your fucking floss.
It wasn't a toothpick, it was like a body fluid thing.
Oh my God.
It was like a.
Maybe I blocked it out?
No, I had like a, I would say like a bandage or something,
like a wound thing, and I was like,
oh, that's fucking done, remember?
Yeah, I don't know. I did, and you got mad at thing. And I was like, oh, that's fucking done. Remember? Yeah.
I don't know.
I did.
And you got mad at me and you're like, don't throw it there.
I'm like, why?
Why?
Who cares?
Fucking gross.
Nasty or nasty as hell.
Hey lady.
No.
You're the guy who has hemorrhoids.
I'm your man.
Yeah, I know.
That's cool.
How about that?
Pretty cool, huh?
Yeah.
Do you like hemorrhoids?
I'm your man.
What's the angle?
Is he just going for radical honesty?
Yeah.
He's thinking that's gonna...
He's just trying to be funny.
He's LOLing.
It's humorous.
Yeah.
He's like, you know, kind of poking fun at himself.
It's endearing.
Yeah.
I kind of like it.
I didn't know that this was a thing.
This is all new to me
Hey everyone, it's injected Chris here at lush full aesthetics
So this is my lovely patient and say we're gonna be doing whole talks now
So you're probably wondering what whole talk says well, it's Botox for your whole and so what we utilize is
Toxin which is Botox. Yeah, man, we use an anus scope to visualize
Victor where we inject the botox to
Relax the anal sector so that it's easier to receive anal sex
For some people they use this to help treat and prevent fissures if they're a recurring issue
And for some people it's just because of pleasure
No, thanks, man. No, no
Fucking pass bro. No, I've seen this this This is what the gay bros are into really so wait what I don't understand the idea behind Botox in your asshole
Well, it relaxes your sphincter. It paralyzes the muscle. That's a botox. It's leaking though if you get it, bro
You're asking me. I'm not you know, I'm assuming yeah, huh? Yeah, cuz then how does it close up when you're done making browns and stuff
That's what I'm asking. Yeah
Bro, yeah, you shouldn't do this to yourself. Um, yeah, that's not that's not
Zolo can you also want to know more about this? There'll be nobody ever obviously
that is
in our lives and does what he did.
How do you get a job here, fuckface?
Oh, the fed smoker.
Yeah, fuckin'.
You fuckin' retard?
Yeah.
Herc with his specialty car.
Cock suckin' fuck.
But.
It does turn out that somebody who's out there kind of drifting around and getting their hands on some some math every now and then can behave in a similar way and
also can get some pretty cool transportation.
We found somebody just like him.
Right? That's just dope.
Hell yeah, dude.
How about that? Do you want to know something my oncologist told me? What?
Um, pieces of shit live forever.
Isn't that fascinating?
Yeah, it's so crazy cause I was in there, I'm like, I'm 48 and I'm dealing with this.
She's like, I know.
She's like, if you want to live forever, be a piece of shit.
Literally said this?
Yeah, you should be mean.
Which she said, like, mean people live forever, and I think there's some validity to that.
Right. And pieces of shit
Case in point your honor look at my dad. Look he's fucking almost 80 years old
Yeah, full alcoholic right for just his whole life. We're talking eating sausage
Every day bacon like no green vegetables doesn't drink water
You gotta get it going. He's gonna live. Yeah, it's gonna live no cancer fine
And then this guy this guy's gonna live forever
Isn't that wild he's gonna be fine, you'll never see him and it's funny that an oncologist the person that you see
The specialty is cancer and they're like, you know what my observation is after thousands of patients
Is cancer and they're like, you know what my observation is after thousands of patients
Real fucking selfish turds live forever There's some validity to it though, then it's always the nicest people that like die young, right?
It's never well that guy deserved it. Yeah, they always live forever that for sure
This guy's amazing what's on the car car? What's the information there? It's like a card. Oh
It's a business card. It's blown up. That's pretty cool. Can you do this to my car? What do you want to do?
The fucking the whole style. It's rad
I like it. It's nice. I feel like I want to do math
Like if I figure if I get sick again and they're like,
guess what, this is your last time on earth.
This is it.
Meth.
Meth is a first stop for me.
I feel like after all these years, if you tell me what do you really want to get into,
it's meth.
It really is.
I love that fucking energy.
You know, I'm like, I got a lot of shit to do.
There's things you get done.
There's so much stuff to do.
Yeah.
Look how busy we are, man. I'm fucking busy.
Look how thin he is. He looks great.
He does look great.
And how come Herc wasn't thin?
I'm just fucking watching protein intake.
I want to do meth.
Fucking tweak out, man, you know?
How come Herc was still, he was chunky, no?
He was.
How come some meth people don't get skinny? I don't get that.
I don't know. Maybe he didn't have a lot of balance.
You know?
Herc was really unique.
Maybe he was tweaking and binging and drinking.
I'm trying to think, because I know people that did meth
and none of them were fat.
It is weird.
Unless when you come down,
because you don't sleep or eat for like three days.
That he was just gorge.
And then you really go on a purge.
Have you done meth and gotten fat?
Let us know.
Yeah, tell us that story.
Take it easy, fuckhead.
Fuckhead?
Yeah.
This guy's amazing.
Do we have a name for this person?
Let's see.
I have a little info card here.
His name is Keith.
Of course.
Mordavsky.
In his town, he is known as Cowfucker and Leopard Man,
according to a Reddit page.
Fuck yeah. Yeah. He's such a Keith, according to a Reddit page. Fuck yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, he's such a Keith, isn't he?
Yeah.
He's totally a Keith.
Where does he live again?
He lives in...
It's gotta be somewhere small.
It's in Connecticut.
Oh, dang.
This guy's in Connecticut?
Yeah.
That's like cracker town.
They know him as Cowfucker and Leopardman.
That's pretty cool, man.
I'm a big fan.
Way to go, man.
But nothing makes me happier than these videos. Oh shit bro!
Right on the neck too, that's the worst one. Show you the...
Do you want to know something interesting Tom?
That's what you're supposed to feel, man.
You're supposed to feel the way I hammered your tailbone.
That's what you're supposed to feel at the base of your neck and on your tailbone.
A fucking hammered mallet that's just fucking.
Do you want to know something about me that's changed?
Is that I laugh at violence now.
Hey!
Finally.
And I think it's because when you like when you get fucked up physically
Yeah, you're like fuck this guy. He put himself here. You know what I mean? Oh, right now. I'm like you're just a fucking dummy
Okay, I didn't know you know that you stupid piece of shit. You deserve it and you'll be fine
Idiot fucking idiot
That can't
Dude
Oh, dude.
Dude, there's no way. It's a mawit.
It's like a cartoon.
It's like Tom and Jerry shit.
You feel better?
You good now?
Fuck.
This is brutal.
This isn't even Russian.
No, this it looks like isn't that Portuguese?
Hold on. I have a Pajitski effect.
I have a very, very dumb one.
So I've been into ice cream lately,
like eating ice cream.
Oh my God, I can't even imagine.
Did you know, bro, and I don't know if I'm right,
but did you know that it's cookies in cream,
not cookies in cream?
My whole life I thought it was cookies-n-cream.
And I didn't realize that was cookies-in-cream.
Did you know what I'm saying?
No.
Bro, do you know what I'm saying?
What is the fucking flavor called?
Is it cookies- I thought it was cookies-and-cream.
Yeah.
Okay, well this place here in Austin calls it
cookies-in-cream.
But that's like a play on the name.
Okay, so what is it supposed to be?
Well, cookies-n-cream. And cream? Yeah. But why is it cookies and cream? Because
they're saying that the cookies are crumbled in the cream of ice cream. The
end denotes and or in? Is the and or in? Smart Chad? I think it's and but
maybe they say like just an end to shorten it. You know, for the and. Cookies in cream implies cookies and cream.
Oh, so I thought it was.
But if it says cookies in cream,
it could be just an ice cream places way of saying
there's cookies in the ice cream, you know?
Like playing with the name.
But it was a good observation.
This is when you're a foreigner,
you're born a foreigner. Yeah. God damn, dude. You are, by the foreigner, you're a foreigner. God damn dude.
You are by the way, you know, this is a you're Canadian born. You're not from these parts.
No, but when your parents are both fucking foreign. No, I get it.
I don't. We both say wrong shit because of foreign parents. I used to only have one.
For sure. Your first 20 years are spent speaking retarded English.
You don't know anything.
That's a good way of describing it.
Yep.
That is a really good way of describing it.
Yeah.
How good is it to be back in the studio?
It's a studio.
I'm a little shell shocked, I'll be honest.
But I'm slowly getting back into it.
And I'm so pumped.
I'm so stoked that I had that three-way with Oasis
and then I made this happen.
You definitely made that reunion happen.
And now I'm gonna bring them to America.
Yep, yep.
And when they get here,
you can get on stage with them and just...
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.
Do they need a drummer?
Maybe I'll be their drummer.
Yeah, imagine if they let you sing with them.
Shine!
Come on and shine! That's kind of like-
Drummer and shine!
That was not bad.
It's not bad.
He's got a voice.
That guy's not a bad singer.
Not a bad singer.
No, I'm good to be back.
Yeah, I always love Insanity and Lunacy
and Fancy Chef is coming.
That's insane.
We just booked Fancy Chef.
That's insane, bro.
You've made a plea to all the filmmakers out there,
stop forcing inclusivity into British periods.
I made a plea to all the documentary filmmakers,
stop focusing on the victims.
Just show us the cool shit.
I don't wanna see victims and how sad their families are now.
Fucking bumming me out.
You guys know whether to weigh in, which is worse,
Invisalign or cancer, I'm going Invisalign.
Welcome back, Jean.
Welcome back.
We love you.
I love you too, mate.
Hey.
Fucking parkas are cool.
And joining us for the first time,
you can catch Slipknot on tour now at Slipknot1.com.
It's rock and rolls own Corey Taylor, everybody.
What?
I know. It's a long time coming. Thank you.
Hell yeah, man.
I'm so stoked to be here.
Thank you for coming in.
Oh, no, thank you for having me, man.
Please. This is a huge thrill. This is coming out a couple weeks after we record,
but you're here in Austin because you guys are doing the Moody tonight
and you're on tour.
25 years.
Yeah.
That's a lot.
It's a lot of years.
Thanks for that.
The thing I think that happens when you're in
like entertainment and performing,
that always blows me away.
The thing I'm pressed by is always just that somebody
can have like
the career you have over time. The fact that you guys are touring on this scale, 25 years
in it's really impressive. It's actually crazy. Thank you for that, by the way. It's really
impressive. It's bigger than it's ever been, which is insane. Yeah. How do you credit that?
Like honestly, how do you analyze that?
I have to credit it to our fans, to be honest.
I mean, at some point, obviously there's the product
that we put out, there's the art that we put everything into,
but it's the fans who've kept us where we are.
Like the fans have been so devoted over the years
where
even
When we have taken hits in our personal lives in our professional lives
They have been there to support us, you know, and because of that we've always gone above and beyond for them
You know just trying to do everything that we can to give them the best show, give them the best music,
like, and you know, nine times out of 10,
you hope you nail it as long as,
and they know that if it comes from us,
it's coming from the heart.
So they know that if it's true,
then they can feel it and they can trust it.
And I think what I like about you guys
is how obviously dark, fucking sighted you are.
Your goth is fucked, and mad respect.
Mad respect.
But because it is so, I don't wanna,
I don't hate the word brave, but it is such a lane.
It's such a creative choice, and you guys went all in on it.
Yeah, it's dark.
It's so scary. Oh, guys went all in on it. Yeah. It's so dark.
It's so scary.
We went super dark.
Yeah.
But that's so rad because so many people would be like, oh, and I can't, you know.
I can only imagine the amount of, I don't know, executives that saw you starting and
were like, ah, no.
I'll tell you a very funny story.
We were actually, and this is,
it's a story that some people know,
but not a lot of people are like, it's not a wide one.
We were originally slated to sign with Sony Records.
And Ross Robinson, the producer,
was already on board to do it and whatnot.
Our original manager actually worked for Sony Records,
had worked the deal out and everything,
but nobody had heard us.
He just was like, trust me.
Oh yeah, yeah.
So we end up having a,
we have this showcase in Vegas actually,
on the strip at the old Gameworks.
And they called it the Eat'em Festival.
And basically it was all of the bands
that Ross was producing.
So we were on it, Amen was on it,
which was an amazing punk band.
And like a couple others,
we went on right before Amen.
And it was like 150 people,
it wasn't a lot of people.
It was in this little room next to an arcade.
Like you could see people ordering pizza and shit.
You know, you're just like, all right, whatever.
We proceeded to just destroy.
It was so fucking satanic.
And little known to us was one of the massive executives
at Sony in the back who was just,
the next day literally killed the deal. Killed the deal, wrote a memo to everyone involved
and said, if this is the future of music,
I don't wanna be alive.
So, fast forward.
You know that guy's name, right?
A year and a half, I do.
I'm not gonna give him any free press.
Fast forward a year and a half, we go platinum,
and then we go double platinum.
When we went double platinum,
we sent a bouquet of dead roses to him at Sony,
and all it said was, we are the future of music,
and we want you dead.
Slipknot.
And that was it.
Oh, that's fucking awesome.
Yeah, so we've always kinda, maybe not recently,
but we've always had kind of a chip on our shoulder
because everyone has assumed that they just,
that we're just like, ah, they'll never make it.
And on paper, we shouldn't have, you know?
So we're pretty proud of them.
But it's the authenticity, I think,
what you were speaking about, that that shit is real.
Yeah.
And you know, you're fucking angry kids from Iowa.
Yeah, yeah.
And anybody from Iowa knows what the fuck we're talking about.
I know, it's so dark and gloomy there.
You know, cause I spent time,
I toured that state for a while,
I drove through that state and it was so ominous,
just the windmills and the gray.
What's so flat, like nobody talks about it
cause it's as flat as Kansas.
And yet Kansas gets more about it. Yes. It's as flat as Kansas. And yet Kansas gets more PR.
Yes.
Basically.
So that it's, and people need to understand that now it's
like paradise compared to when I was growing up.
Right.
I mean, they always.
Yeah.
Aims.
Exactly.
It's like come living.
The kind of press things about their fastest developing developing cities think companies are hoping it's always like
celebrated as a lot of people ways to raise a family a lot of
A lot of tech companies put down roots a lot of insurance companies actually so it balanced out the agricultural side of everything
Yeah, and a lot of money went into it
So it I want to say it doubled in size within 10 years, which is crazy. And
that was right around the time I moved. So I missed all the good shit, you know? Like
I was like, son of a bitch. You got the raw years. Yeah. I got, I got the dog, like the
raw dog years. I feel like I was thinking about the story you just told that like pretty
much I think every big band has the experience of some fucking guy being like, yeah, this
is bullshit.
Who the fuck is this?
And it's gotta be like, I don't know,
I imagine the ones that have any self-awareness,
it has to be a very sobering thing when people go like,
hey, you know who you told us not to find?
Like, we just sold fucking two million records.
And honestly, and the crazy thing is,
is that the guy who really saw the potential for us at Roadrunner, Monty
Connor, he was somebody who there were several bands that he tried to sign that
went on to get signed at other places. So I think that was one of the ways that he
was able to get us on Roadrunners because they they saw the missed
opportunities. Also we were working with Ross who, who at the time was a god,
just in that genre, period.
He's just one of the greatest ears for primal, emotional sludge
metal.
And that's, I mean, the Cure album he did is insane.
Which one did he do?
He did Bloodflowers.
Wow.
It's so incredible. Yeah, it's one of the darkest Cure albums ever.
It's also I think so good for artists to hear.
Like in End of Lane, when you hear stories like that
story of you guys performing,
is like, cause like you know, it's not the same,
but it kind of is like in comedy too.
You just do these gigs that are just fucking brutal, right?
And like if somebody, there's people who see you at them who are like, don't quit your
day job, okay?
Right.
And you have to push through it.
You have to go like, you're like, no, this is what I do.
And there's shit gigs are part of it, you know, but when people go like, you don't have
it, you still have to fucking believe it.
Which is fucked up.
And then dealing with peers coming up at the
same time and then suddenly you start to rise above them. The
passive aggressiveness that you guys have to deal with that we've
I'm sure you guys have dealt with that where it's like almost
like the jealousy part. It's like dude, we were friends like
why are you coming at me going it it's like, oh, okay, you know, and you just, yeah.
Like, and we got it first in our hometown,
and then we got it from the bands.
Hold on, Iowa, you're from?
Des Moines.
Des Moines, yeah.
Yeah.
The Des Moines haters.
Yeah, man, well, and trust me, they fucking hate,
they still hate us.
They do.
They still hate us, yeah.
Really?
Small town haters.
And it's weird too because-
Wait, so would you say after Iowa it was then what?
I don't know. I mean, after Iowa,
it would have been the bands on Roadrunner.
Ah, okay.
Who were the bands that we loved.
Yeah. Well, you're the big shot now.
Exactly. And then it slowly balanced out, you know, but at the same time, you know, what people don't realize is that we went back home and tried to help those bands in Des Moines, like tried to give them a platform.
We've got three or four of those bands signed. And for whatever reason, it didn't work out. We took all of those Roadrunner bands out with us.
The second that we started to get bigger,
we were like, let's go, man, let's all of us go.
And it became, I don't wanna say salacious,
but at the same time, it was just tragic
how quick the egos would turn.
And I'm just as bad, but at the same time, we were really trying to put,
we were trying to balance out maybe the guilt
of like blowing up the way we did
with trying to help out the bands that we loved, you know?
And it wasn't all of them, you know?
Cause we still have a lot of friends
from a lot of those bands that were on that label.
But we definitely were put in a situation
where it was almost lose-lose.
And all we could do was just kind of band together
and just say, all right, fuck it, let's just go.
Which was definitely the right decision.
There's nothing more you can do.
Exactly.
But also to celebrate your 25 years
and the fact that you're here tonight,
I think this is what we put together for you. Oh shit
Still can't watch this without dying dude. Oh man. He's got he's just
For all you guys staying alive all these years. It's like you can hear the sandpaper in his throat
You're staying alive all these years. It's like you can hear the sandpaper in his throat.
You hear this like,
hey, hey, hey, hey, ugh, brutal.
So good.
Can I ask you such a stupid question?
So you guys, cause I know you're a very visual band.
You're very like, woo, did you guys get Airplay on MTV?
Are you on like Headbanger's Ball?
I mean, like back in the day, how did you get?
No.
Our first video got banned.
Yeah, I was gonna say.
First video got banned, and that was like
the most fun. But that's dope too, right?
Yeah, and then we could say that.
We were like, yep, see?
It's like getting arrested for drugs.
Yeah, exactly.
It was pretty fucking cool, man.
Our second video, we had two different versions,
so they kind of played both versions.
It was Wait and Bleed, it was like the big kind of single but the first one was Spit It Out and they were like
no this is way too crazy. And all it was was live footage but then we recreated The Shining
which was cool. It was super cool. We maybe spent 50 bucks on it. And it's still one of
my favorite videos. And you got the press of We Were Banned. Exactly. And it's still one of my favorite press of we were banned. That's cool. First bit. The first video get banned on
MTV. And then the first video. Yeah, it was our first video.
But your first. Yeah, not the first. No, not the first video.
Oh, God, that'd be great. Yeah. Real. Um, I want to say that.
Well, I can't remember what that was. Like, like the guys that
did like those booty rock shit to live crew. Yeah. Like one of
the first. Yeah, they were one of, they were definitely one of the first.
Booty rock.
Yeah, it's all like pussy rock.
Well, I was wondering, because I could've swore
that they had a video for S&M,
which was on the album before,
as nasty as they wanna be or whatever.
That song was so gnarly for a 14-year-old kid.
Oh my God. It's in him!
Bring your dick to the game, friend.
I was like, let's go, yo.
Their shit was.
That's some trailer park shit right there.
Triple x-rated song.
Oh, they were brutal.
Like me and my friends were listening, we were like,
yeah, this is fucking crazy.
Face down, ass up.
That's the way you like to fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Doudou Frank.
Doudou Frank.
Doudou Frank.
Yeah, and I'm a goth chick.
I shouldn't fucking know Doudou Brown, but we loved it. I was a goth kid fuck? I even did that. Doudou Brown. Doudou Brown. Yeah, and I'm a goth chick.
I shouldn't fucking know Doudou Brown, but we loved it.
I was a goth kid, but I loved old school hip hop.
I was like, I loved the ghetto boys.
I loved Public Enemy.
I mean, all this shit.
That's what I grew up listening to.
That's one of the reasons why.
Public Enemy was really one of those groups that kind of transc transcends because there's yeah there's so much rage in it yeah and so like the anger oh dude you know and
the message of the real shit it was real shit he's still like that to this day
one of the sweetest dudes I've ever met really I met him he's one of the few
dudes that like I mean I freaked I freaked out like cuz I mean you know he's
like my favorite yeah my favorite hip-hop artist.
I went to watch him speak at a,
Oh, right.
So I managed the Kyle's radio station for one year
and they sent us to this, like, whatever,
radio retreat in New York.
We all just fucked off for a few days.
And just partied in New York.
But then the one thing I saw on the itinerary,
Chuck D giving a talk 10 a.m. In this one ballroom
I mean I was just like right and he I remember that he started he was like
All right, I usually don't get up this early
I don't remember what he said right like yeah, I was just there was this watch rat. Yeah
He really is. Yeah, he's very cool. He's very open and
very artist like he would if you guys had a musicians union, I feel like he'd be president of the year 100%
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, cuz he like he fights for everybody. He really doesn't fuck around
Wait, so let's go back to you because I've been intrigued with slipknot for so long. I really have I've
You you're from Iowa. I know that. I know you have like a
rough childhood stuff. Yes, you go through a lot of shit. Can you give me like, I
mean I don't know how much you want to talk about, but what's, what's the
snapshot and then how brilliant that you parlay that into this really unique
music that resonates with so many other angry-up kids. It's so great. It's interesting
When I was younger I didn't realize that I had a propensity for like heavy music like I when I started
Kind of teaching myself how to play. I just wanted to kind of play songs and plans very much like my solo stuff basically, um
But because of the background that I had, you know, just like growing up,
abused,
all,
all categories.
And then being homeless,
OD'd twice by the time I was 16,
and my friends left me in a dumpster.
In a dumpster?
Yeah, yeah.
It was, and I think it was only because they moved me that I actually was able to stay alive, because then I woke like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm doing music with my original band,
Stone Sour, but there was always something
that was kind of like, I was almost like kind of
pulling at the chain, you know?
I just like, I wanted something more.
So I see Slipknot play their very first show.
I was right like front row and I've never had this thought
since and I had never had it before that,
but I was like, I'm gonna be the singer for this band.
Really?
Yeah.
And how old are you?
I was, at the time I was 23.
And then two years later they asked me to join.
What?
Which was crazy, yeah.
And I said, we all knew each other, you know?
I mean.
So you did know those guys.
Yeah, yeah.
We were all, it's just Slipknot,
what a lot of people might not know is like,
Slipknot was made up of a lot of people from the scene.
We all knew each other, we'd all played shows together,
but we also recognized the people in each band who,
that guy's driven, that guy's hungry,
that guy's talented as fuck.
And that's what your band's made up of.
Exactly.
We were the dudes who would,
we would have stepped on the necks of our dead mothers
to fucking get there.
You have to, right?
Yeah.
That's part of why you're there.
And I think it's also one of the reasons
why we were so ferocious in the beginning.
Like we have very little memory of the first year and a half
that we toured because we were so, just go, you know?
I mean, I saw home maybe a month and a half
and that whole time, because we were just fucking gone
the entire time.
It played every territory that would let us in,
even the places that banned us,
we would play like the borders.
Like we were banned in Greece for the longest time.
So we would just play.
Greece.
Yeah.
The whole country? It was crazy.
You gotta keep these moments out.
Well, that place was so convinced
that we were satanic.
Oh, really?
Oh, and they take that shit very seriously, man.
So I was like, all right.
They finally let us in, and we played like this,
I'm getting off topic a little bit,
we played this like crazy, amazing, like,
amphitheater, like this natural amphitheater. And dude, people
were like, it's the, it's a sheer mountain on the other side, like, and people are climbing
and coming over the top to get to our show. And I'm just looking, it's like, this is some
shit out of World War Z. Like it was nuts, man. Um, but to go back, when I joined that band, I honestly had, it was almost like I had to relearn
everything that I knew about making music. Because this was just a hot, yeah man, because they were so,
there were no bounds, no boundaries when it came to music. If we wanted to use death metal, punk,
hardcore, hip hop, goth, electronica.
Can I ask you this about that?
Because this is really fascinating.
And that like, if you take a guy that plays keyboard,
and maybe piano or whatever, and maybe there's a songwriter.
Sometimes the songwriting will be like,
hey, I got this melody.
And then the songwriter will go like, okay, well, I think, you know,
and then he uses the melody and goes, and it's like,
it's like easy to understand, even as a non-musician, you're like,
oh, I get it, like you're hearing the melody,
and then you're going to write some words.
But when you have like your size band and all the elements,
like how do you construct a song?
It's interesting because a lot of it kind of comes down to,
in the beginning, we would just go,
we would get in the room and go, who's got an idea?
And nine times at a time, it would either be Mick or Joey, actually,
who would have a riff and was like, check this out.
And we would start to just,
and we would just worry at it and worry at it.
And build on it.
Exactly.
When we did Wait and Bleed,
they came to me and they were like,
we want you to just write the chorus.
So I wrote the chorus
and they constructed the guitar riff over that,
which was really cool. So there,
so it was the first taste for me that there was no rules.
It's exciting. Yeah. I mean, once you kind of
throw off those constraints, the fucking world is your,
it's your bitch basically, you basically. So to answer your question, sometimes if you hear,
at least for me, if you hear a really amazing chorus,
the melody will just come to you.
And you just hear it instinctively in your head.
And you just kind of start to fuck with it,
you fine tune it, and you perfect it.
Do you do a lot of chorus first? with it, you fine tune it and you perfect it. Other times.
Do you do a lot of chorus first?
Like chorus and then write around it?
Sometimes I do, especially if I'm writing by myself.
I'll hear something and then I just kind of craft
everything around that chorus
and just kind of fill in the blanks.
You hear the words?
Well, sometimes.
Sometimes I'll just hear the melody.
If the words don't fit with the emotion that I'm finding,
then I'll sit down and I'll start to kind of
chip away at everything.
And once I do that, then I've got it.
And then that kind of fills in the blanks
of what the song's going to be about.
Yeah, it's-
How do you hear it?
Cause when I'm obviously, like I learned drumming
and it's funny because the sound that you make
in your head is a,
ba da da da da. Right, yeah. Like, so what do you hear in your head? What's the sound? I almost always hear it
like I almost always hear it in a higher register to be honest like like a lot
of the melodies that I hear so then I have to kind of bring it down. So what
does it sound like? Do you hear your own singing voice in your head? Yeah, like sometimes. Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes. What sounds are you hearing?
I will hear, like the music,
I will hear almost with a lot of like reverb,
like it sounds bigger.
Like I hear the potential of what it could be.
So like even if I just hear a guitar,
I can hear the drums,
I can hear the guitars, the bass,
I can hear if there's orchestration, I can hear the drums, I can hear the guitars, the bass, I can hear if there's orchestration,
I can hear that in it, I can hear the harmonies
on the vocals that I hear.
And then that kind of gives you the roadmap
for when you demo it, you know?
And then if it doesn't work in that shape,
you just trim stuff away and you're like, okay, this seems a little too much.
We're gonna pull this back.
This is too busy.
Exactly, yeah, and you just make it, you focus it.
Do you ever have to tell somebody,
as you guys are working together,
hey, we gotta dial back what you're doing.
We've had some times like that, yeah.
And nine times out of 10, the great thing about Slipknot
is that we will listen with real ears
and go, okay, well, what do you think?
And I have had to learn over the years
because there've definitely been some times
where I've been a little too...
Direct?
Well, no, just clinging to an idea, too close to it.
And so I'll be a little too contentious
when it comes to people coming in and giving criticism.
And what I've had to learn is that if I expect people
to listen to my voice, I have to listen to theirs.
So that's been a growing pain for me,
because I am a massive ego.
And I've had to really dial that back
and realize that I'm just a part of it.
So as we've gone on, we've gotten better at listening
and not taking shit personally, the second agreement,
not taking shit personally,
and realizing that we all want the same thing.
And it doesn't matter how we get there.
Nobody's gonna fucking co-signign it cuz it's all of us
Yeah, you know, so let's just get there and if you've got the better idea
Fucking a you know
And I I've gotten to the point where I love giving credit to other people now because they came up with the idea
You know, and it's it just feels better. That's awesome. Yeah
That's a nice you know, who else has no fucking boundaries or rules. I want you to watch this. Oh Christ
Collective soul?
He's got this corvette, puts it into
I like his car
The light crashes too
Puts it in
Good frontman energy Kevin, let your light shine down on me. Shine.
Come on and shine.
OK, yeah.
Wow.
All right, will you go out on a limb and get him signed?
Also, I think, is that a business card that is blown up and is on the-
What the- What is that?
Right, because I see phone numbers, I think, and an address.
He's definitely a notary public.
Yeah.
I mean, that's, yeah.
I mean, he has to be, right?
He shows up and you're like, this guy.
I'm here to couch hire, or you roll your thumb.
Fucking hell.
I mean, his voice, you know, he can sing.
He's got a good timbre there.
Yeah, that's definitely.
I want to say, look, what do you think the over
under is of how many Corvettes came together
to make that car?
I mean, I'm seeing at least 11. There are parts is of how many Corvettes came together to make that car? I mean
There's a fucking there's an appliance in there like what some stuff that was a Chevy there he's like it'll work
It'll definitely pound it into shape. There is a fuck. Yeah, his name is Keith. Um, he is known
Locally as leopard man and cow fucker in this town to very distinct tastes. Yeah. All right shit. Yeah
Pretty cool guy. I like his car. I hope he made it cuz I'd like to order. I mean, that's a sweet car
I definitely had worse cars when I was you. Oh, yeah
Was okay. What is your worst fucking car that you're at when you were younger?
87 Chevy Nova great exterior gray interior cloth love it sucks so fucking bad
It would shake if it got to 67. Oh shit. I was one of those right right there like
No fucking the the old school governor just this car sucks
I had old reliable first which which was a 95 accord.
Okay.
But I fish tailed showing off and ended up in a ditch.
Oh sweet.
And I had to like use tape underneath
to make the front bumper hang on
because I had to drag it off.
That was pretty cool. Love it, love it.
And then I had a Malibu after that.
Okay.
That was like, you know,
pretty flex on people in my Chevy Malibu.
So those were my two beaters, if you will.
Nice, nice.
I had an 82 Mazda.
Why are you flexing on us?
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
You need to understand something.
The original car was yellow.
It had been painted with house paint.
Oh, oh, sweet.
It was a four speed.
Gear ship barely worked.
We called it Fat Ed.
And I would, yeah.
Oh no, it's nothing, it's, I think it's.
No, this is way too well maintained.
Yeah.
It's closer to that.
Nowhere near as cool as anything really on that fucking thing.
Yeah.
I wanna see what the paint job would look like.
Cause what does that look like?
Cause it would look green.
So it looks like, no, it looks like
the blue shit was peeling.
Yeah.
So there's a lot of yellow showing.
Yeah.
All right, so it looked like somebody had outlined it
in yellow.
Yeah.
But that was the original color.
I also love, by the way, people who think
you can paint a car just with your house paint.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Because they're just like,
yeah, I'll just paint it like that.
That doesn't work.
I bought it for $500, and it was so rad
because if you put it in neutral, it would hop backwards.
So, and I'm gonna be very irresponsible right now.
We would get wasted.
And after the bars closed,
we would take it out to like the big parking lots,
the malls and shit, and we would have rodeos.
So we would let it off, we would crawl out the window.
It's still running and shit.
And we would just hold on for fucking dear life.
And this you guys is how a band is formed exactly you ever want to know why?
It's not like why slipknot was formed in Iowa because we had Mazda rodeo fuck. Yeah, that's awesome
Thankfully no idiots were harmed in the making of that. No, so how many people like meet you and assume you're a
Terrifying person. Oh, almost everybody.
Unless they've seen clips of me online,
I've been able to kind of temper that.
Because usually when people meet me,
they're like, we thought,
first of all, they thought I'd be taller.
They thought I'd be crazy.
And then I'm like, I have kids.
What are you talking about?
Like fucking let it go, it's fine.
And you have to be pretty intelligent and whatever.
Yeah, I mean.
Driven to pull it together the way you guys have.
Right, right.
And yeah.
I mean, even considering just a lot of our,
like the behavioral issues that we've had over the years,
we were able to kind of keep it together.
Behavioral, what are your behavioral issues?
Well, I mean, as a band,
we've had our fucking share of weirdness, you know? keep it together. What are your behavior like? Well, I mean, as a band,
we've had our fucking share of weirdness, you know?
I mean, we were,
we set fire to a table at the Kerrang Awards
and we were responsible for Brit Eklund breaking her ankle.
Wow.
Yeah, she was a Bond girl.
She hated us for a very long time.
Very long time.
Yeah, because we won,
we were the first band in Kerrang history
to win three awards.
And we won best single,
best live band,
and then we won best band in the world,
which they created just for the fans to vote on.
Jesus.
And we won, and we,
we threw the table,
had all of our beers and shit on it,
and made quite a mess.
Britt Eklund was supposed to walk up
and present the next award.
She slipped in our fucking beer, and so they carried her up.
Yes.
There she is.
She looked a lot like she did on the top right.
Oh yeah.
Well, I feel like she would have fallen anyways. We felt bad, you know? Like we did feel bad. She's at the top right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, I feel like she would have fallen anyways
We felt bad, you know, like we did feel bad. She's at the age we tried to send her something. It was rejected It was rejected. Yeah, it's it's fine
Mistakes were made. Okay, that's all I'm gonna say
I miss the rock stars. I miss this stuff. I think that's why I'm so pumped that Oasis is back to you
Oh, do you know that?
She played a role in this so
About a month ago. She and maybe was six weeks ago. There's no talk of Oasis. Nothing nothing in the
She puts it out there that she's willing to go airtight with the Gallagher brothers that everybody knows and the other one
Who not everybody knows right so she's willing to give herself all three inputs
and she's like, I'll do that.
And then all of a sudden, I don't see her for a few weeks.
And then during that period, they're like,
guess what, there's new Oasis shows.
And I was like, hey, where have you been?
It just kinda came together, mate.
That's what happens when you go to Manchester. I may have dipped out a bit love
Yeah, but now I'm waiting for them to come to America. That's the next like I don't know what I'm humming
I top the yeah, I don't know you're gonna chop airtight threesome. Yeah
That was I mean, I was a bold choice
A band for a long time. You ever like gone nine deep in someone's hell. Yes
Some maggots honest. on, let me see,
let me do the math.
Oh my God. Yeah, I can't talk about it.
Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It was a different era. Not everybody had their fucking phone out. Dude, like let's just say, there's some crazy shit.
Yeah, of course.
Of course, that's why you become a rock star.
That's why you become a fucking.
Exactly.
To playing chicks.
I have very strong opinions about a lot of that shit.
It's like, what's your name?
Amen.
I don't wanna hear your name.
It's like, it was just a different scene, man.
Yeah.
And people don't realize that.
If you, it's like watching a movie from the 60s,
like watching a Bond film,
and then judging it based on modern principles.
It doesn't fucking work that way man.
You cannot do that with someone in that age.
It is an absolutely different fucking ball game.
Now what's going on with Perry Farrell and Dave Navarro?
That was my wife waking me up and going,
have you seen this shit?
Yeah, I did.
And I was like, ah, no.
It's sad, man, because I know both of them.
And Dave Navarro is one of the sweetest souls on the planet.
Perry also is very sweet, man.
Like, he's never been anything but fucking kind to me.
And seeing that, I don't know what's happening there.
And obviously I don't wanna make assumptions
because I don't want it to get fucking blown out.
It looks, it could be chemical, it could be behavioral,
it could be because they've known each other
for fucking 40 years, man.
There's so many myths about their relationship.
Who fucking knows what that would be at this point?
So I just hope he's okay.
I hope Dave's okay.
I mean, I reached out to him to see if he was,
it's my phone.
Yeah, I was vibrating.
Stop.
There, okay.
You texted Dave. Yeah, I texted Dave to see how he was doing. He hit me back, he was like, he was vibrating. Okay, stop there. Okay. You
Yeah, I texted Dave to see how he was doing he hit me back he was like he's cool, you know, but
But obviously he doesn't want to say anything cuz right now they're just trying to figure out what the fuck they're gonna do
Yeah, yeah, that's such a bummer. I wanted to see that tour so bad I've been waiting to see the original for for me and clown actually clowns a massive James Addiction fan
Oh, like James he's like he studied that shit like this Pruder film
and came to me just like,
dude Taylor you don't even fucking know.
Like it's crazy.
But don't you feel like they're so underrated?
I feel like Jane's. 100%.
Why the fuck weren't,
I think they're considered one of the greatest,
especially coming from Los Angeles.
They were like an LA band
and I got to fucking watch that growing up
and I got to see them at the first Lollapalooza when I was high on acid. Yeah I was there. Oh you were! Irvine Meadows bro!
And I was like why his voice is like from another realm and they're so talented. He's one of the most...
there's no way to recreate his voice. No. And the people who try they've it
sounds like they're they're going to kill themselves, you know
Yeah, it gets so high up there, but it was so perfect with I compared nothing shocking with welcome with
Appetite for destruction to me it it is same time one of the well
It's just one of those examples of like a perfect album
Mm-hmm, you know because you can put that album on and just start it and never skip anything.
Like even Thank You Boys is fucking wonderful to listen to, you know,
it's just a great, great album, you know.
Damn.
Yeah, it's, I hope they're okay, you know,
and knowing how inter-band relationships can be,
that's fucking tough, dude.
Especially for a band that's been around that long, dude.
Yeah, cause you know, like, I mean, end of the day,
there's no telling what it is.
Right.
But you understand that those dynamics can shift
and change and be challenging,
and who knows what the story is.
I mean, I know bands that have been around for five years
that have that shit happen.
You know, like it's, it's just, you just never know.
When you spend that much time on the road with people
and you go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows
and everything in between, shit's gonna get personal.
And you just never know what's gonna happen
on any given day.
Sid and I, who is one of my best friends, my brother,
I almost killed him one night when we were doing,
we were recording disaster pieces at Love's,
it was a, I wanna say it was London Arena,
but I might be wrong.
And he did exactly what we told him not to do.
And he, I was so fucking pissed.
I was also hammered, so that didn't fucking help anything.
He came back and there's a clip online
and it's so taken out of context.
We all had, most of us had body cameras.
So what he would do is he would go out
into the middle of the audience
when we would do the sit down part during Spit It Out.
And we told him not to do it this time
because we didn't want people to steal those cameras.
And he did, and they did, and he didn't understand
why we were mad, and he comes back and he goes,
I'm fucking livid, I'm just like, ugh.
And he goes, dude, you gotta tell them
to give the fucking camera back.
And I just whipped around on him.
I was just gonna shot your fucking,
is one of the most evil moments of my life.
And I just didn't give a shit.
And to this day, I feel bad about it.
And it's a very real moment that's out there
for everybody to see.
And taken out of context, it's so fucking horrible.
But also, don't forget that all of us
have those moments.
Exactly.
They're just not always captured.
Right, yeah.
And some people don't admit that they have those moments.
Yeah, I mean, when he blew himself up recently,
because he's Sid, I like, I FaceTimed him,
and he was in the ER, like he had the,
and I was just like,
but he was also one of the first people to call me
after my spinal surgery.
So like that's how close we are.
Like we go from, ah, to.
Yeah, so it's your real brother.
Exactly, dude, yeah.
And anybody who's been in a fucking family
knows how that is.
Of course.
Now, what about Dave Grohl?
What's up with his baby mama shit?
Dude, I'm so, let me tell you something, bro. Sorry. Here's my take. No, what's up with this baby mama shit? Dude, I'm so, let me tell you something, bro.
Here's my take.
No, it's-
No, let me just say that.
I will say this, okay, like,
apropos of this earlier discussion of like,
you guys are fucking rock stars.
You're knocking shit over.
Old bitches be falling and spraining their ankles.
But she knows, hey, that's fucking slip knot over there,
honey, you better be careful. So I feel like this whole, I'm just a nice guy, and sprainin' their ankles, but she knows, hey, that's fuckin' slip knot over there, honey.
You better be careful.
So I feel like this whole, I'm just a nice guy,
I'm a nice guy, like bitch, no you're not,
you're a rock star.
And you fuckin' impregnate bitches, fine,
cause that's what they do, that's what they've been doing
for the 70s to 80s, like why come out with a statement
announcing it to everybody?
And secondly, why are you busting nuts in your side piece, bro?
all valid questions Christina
I'm glad you brought that up. Yeah, I was hoping it would come
It's fuck dude, it's so messy like just 100% messy and
You do know Dave Brawl I do know Dave Brawl so like just 100% messy and.
Do you know Dave Grohl? I do know Dave Grohl.
So?
He is one of the nicest people on the planet and.
Heard it many times.
Yeah.
Yeah sometimes.
What's that, what was it?
Mistakes were made Christina.
I mean and I don't, listen,
I'll tell you exactly why they put out a press release. Yeah, because I'm so confused because
He wanted to get ahead of it
He wanted to get ahead of it because he knew that if he didn't say something
Somebody else was going to say something because I mean, I don't think we even know who the baby mama is, right?
Yeah, but I can guarantee you as soon as she finds out that he may or may not be a part of everything,
she was going to say something.
And it's called controlling the narrative.
So he got ahead of it.
And you know, I will say this, obviously, very irresponsible.
And I know there are a lot of disappointed fans out there
because of the image that he's developed, you know?
But I have to remind people that we're not perfect, you know?
He was one of the last people to really have that image.
Because you can't really think of anyone else.
I mean, well, Bill Cosby was the last guy.
And what the fuck happened there?
You know, talking about
putting pops and bottles.
Drink this. Yeah.
Fucking holy shit.
But that's what I'm saying.
I think I look, I'll be.
Yeah, I just resent the like I'm a good guy.
But then you're not.
It just well, here's the thing. Everybody.
Here's the thing. Press pause. That just, hold on everybody. Press pause.
Tom's putting on chapstick, everybody's.
Uh oh, here we go.
This is, that's elaborate.
Chapstick cam for this?
That took a long time.
He has to open his mouth.
I appreciate that I was here.
He can't do his mouth yet.
I was trying to break up the seriousness of the dialogue.
Well we're time out.
Okay, go ahead.
This happening, and I'm gonna say something
very controversial.
I love it.
This happening does not mean he's not a nice person.
Because I happen to know him as a person.
It means he's got fucking issues and he fucked up.
Yes, of course.
He's not perfect.
It is going to be very difficult for his family.
Oh, that's the part that kills me. Kids.
Yeah.
Girls.
It's, and I'm not going to make any assumptions about why or how it happened, you know, because
obviously, I mean, I'm sober. But at the same time, you know, I've gone through my own shit.
You know, I also think the, uh, I mean, I, everyone has valid points, but the,
the good person, bad person thing is not just black and white.
Right. And people, people are generally, right.
It exists in the gray area.
Did he do something horrible?
Yeah. Yes.
The only thing that defines exactly if that. The only thing that defines him.
Exactly.
If that's the one thing that defines him,
then what the fuck are we doing here?
I know, but only if you present yourself
as a certain thing. Is it?
And it's like, dude, don't then,
that's what I'm saying. What you were saying.
Like you and I never pretend to be normal people.
Here's the thing.
It's disappointing.
It's disappointing. I think I'm just mad at my dad. It's fair,
Cory. She's mad. I mean, yeah. I mean, let's go there. Let's go
there. I mean, so, I mean, what does this bring up for you? I
think it did. I think I brought up my dad, like my hatred for
my dad being a piece of shit. And like, some, those guys are
just a type. And I really wish society would just be accepting
of the piece ofof-shit type
Instead of being like you should get married and have kids like no no no no this guy this guy does his thing
You are better your dad though. Of course. I am no I'm saying I think all this is
Channeling worse it is Tom. You're really not mad at Dave. No, I don't care about
You know, but it's like the gays it's just like the gays
Let the gays be the gays and then they don't marry women release the gays, right?'s like the gays it's just like the case just like the case Let the gays be the gays and then they don't marry women. Yeah, release the gays, right?
Yeah, release the gays just be gay
And if you want to dump clips and have other kids then just do it with you know, don't tie a knot first
Don't tie a knot don't ruin people's lives. Okay, switch this up real quick. It's a little more fun
All right, Cory, I'll show you a clip and you just tell me whether you think it's horrible
Oh, we're here now. We're here now
We're hilarious. I did push-ups. Okay. Um gag reflex is ready
Yeah of all people listen I'm also listen I'm more refined in my old age. Okay. I'm ready
I don't think I have anything too gross. It's really just whether this makes you laugh or not. Okay, okay
I'm already in do it brother
oh fuck
I'm sweating
holy shit
I was so ready for a broken leg and I was all that made
everything so much better I'm so happy right now yeah
look at the psycho he's the biggest psycho make sense it's confirmed slipknot is satanic
Doing skateboard tricks off a roof off of what did you think what happened? Thank you? Thank you all right?
This is what you got when you asked for this is I did this shit. I fucked both my knees up
Bring it on what else you got here we go
Real speed bro
The fact that this ends here is horrible. I wanted to see her mouth
There's not a two-finger with both legs just sticking straight up bro. She's going like 65. Dude. That's so fast. What's the dog?
Oh!
Why is there a dog behind them?
Did you see?
There's a dog.
It comes out of nowhere.
Look.
Let me see.
It's hauling ass.
Watch.
Dog.
What the hell?
It hops off.
Because it's Mexico, dude.
Even he's going, you're going way too fast.
I'm going to try and grab you with my mouth.
And ah.
But wait a minute.
How do they?
That's how people land from that slide?
I mean, you know what this is? It's a water park that's empty out of that
that's closed down. Yeah. And they're like, it'll be a fun slide. There's usually a
pool at the end of that. Just not a pile of dirt. And a skinny Mexican dog with tits. Sara Divertido. It'll be fun.
It's not fun.
Not so fun.
It is not fun.
Oh shit.
Blake, one more time please.
Yeah, yeah, why not?
It's good, it's good.
It's like watching pumpkin bowling at this point.
It's just a dog.
Okay, I'm gonna say-
Also, I think both knees, hips.
Both knees, hips, tailbone.
There's at least one vertebrae that's fucked up there.
Holy shit.
And also-
By the way, it says this is a very popular thing
to go down the side when it rains.
Yeah, what?
But I-
Yeah, don't do the shoot without lube, kids.
Yeah.
Only in Mexico.
Yeah.
Hold on, and also, I feel like you should do this one alone, bro
Like don't have your she your friend behind man. I mean seriously the way that she hit that I
Would go it alone. Yeah, like even that made me go. Hmm. It's I don't know if I should be sorry, but it's still funny
It's still funny it's still fun two for two
Told you bitch
That's his sister, it's gotta be a 100%
There's not a boyfriend on earth that would pull their phone out. No.
I mean, oh dude.
That sibling hatred right there.
Also does she exit with like a head of steam?
Why is she coming out so fast?
I mean, I feel like she had way too many, way too many daiquiris.
Don't check the kayak.
He's drunk.
Yeah.
I forgot.
Shit, let's talk about the fact
that she just banged her head,
not on the ground, off the bumper of that van.
Yeah.
She goes, wait, my favorite's the sound she makes.
Ah.
Me and my friends, me and my friends,
we used to do this impression of somebody getting kissed
in the back of the head with an aluminum bat
So without knowing, so it'd be
I just think that's funny
This, we're three for three
Oh my god, that's really
I don't have snot, do I?
Okay, we're good
I told you not to trip on the kayak
Told you not to dip shit
That's what you get for fucking with me. Oh
I can tell already. He's not he's not taking off
Oh, oh, there's Rom das in them
Oh! AHHHH!
AHHHH!
AHHHH!
He's too old
to be dying
He's so old
He broke his back
I was so not ready
for the branches
Oh fucking shit, play it again
I know!
Look at him He's so confident Shit play again. Okay?
Look at him. He's so confident. I got this shit. I've got a logo on this video
Smell that wind that's the smell of freedom. Oh shit Wait what machine is this something you make in your house? Fuck it! Oh, this dude's so fucked up.
Wait, what machine is this?
Is this something you make in your house?
It's called a paramotor?
And you sit on it.
Cause that's safe.
By the way, how long do you think he sat there before he actually...
Who put this description in?
Is that you?
What's the description?
Old white guy tries to fly, doesn't clear the tree line.
Yeah, we got that.
Thanks, man.
Oh, my stomach hurts.
Oh, my God.
I'm sweating.
Yeah, I'm officially sweating.
But you're a red coy.
How long was he laying there with the wind and the notch out of him?
Yeah, he sat there, there are a lot of thoughts
going through his head, he's just like,
man, I spent all weekend putting this shit together,
unwinding this thing.
And also he talked, you know this guy's like,
oh yeah, I fucking fly this thing all the time.
You guys don't need to come out,
listen, I'm gonna film it for you, so you can see it. He's like, where's my phone? Now he's got a need to come out. Listen, I'm gonna film it for you so you can see it.
He's like, where's my phone?
Now he's got a phone to call 911.
Ha, ha.
Oh, fuck, that's broke.
Oh, everything's broke.
And you know he has a story of like, you know,
the Air Force turned me down.
Ever since then, I fucking, I decided I'll fly my own.
I don't need no fucking... I could be on pension right now
Back on the wrong motherfucker 35 I got
This is the audacity
The audacity horn just to create your own fly shit that flies on your you should not be building it yourself
I agree absolutely not I 100% learn to fly. yeah. I'm not even allowed to cook by myself.
You think I'm gonna fucking spend time
on something that could quite literally blow up on me.
Fuck that.
Or just you're in the sky and then you fall down
and you die from being in the sky.
And he's got like a parasail hooked up to a lawnmower
and that's the genius.
There's some fucking duct tape. No wings on it.
Duck tape and some. Yeah. Fucking just some floss. I saw like dental floss.
The nice thing is that he can use that again since he'll never walk again.
Oh yeah. And he can just sit and use that. Yeah.
He can just be like, okay, just put the electric shit on here now.
Yeah. Just kick some, yeah, just put some handles on it just in case the battery runs out.
Holy fuck. And you can push me over there.
Would you like to tell about what we're showing?
Yes, yes, TikToks.
These are the, I'm serving the marginalized communities
on TikTok.
Oh Jesus, okay.
The underrepresented.
Do you know what she does?
Do you know what she does?
Oh, I've seen it.
Okay.
Oh, I've seen it.
So you know that it can be a roller coaster of emotions.
It's, I'm prepared.
I'm ready, I'm ready.
This is a...
You don't know whether you're gonna laugh,
feel very, very sad.
I think we've established I'm going to laugh. Okay, that's fine
Here we go first in Christina's talks. I had a good life. Oh
fuck
So this is clearly a foot fetish
Page but the toenails are extra long. Oh my god
You know fucking dehydrated you have to be for that shit to curl like that?
I just got the chills.
God, why is she doing that?
That is a scene from Lost Boys, kids.
That is some serious.
But however, I bet you-
My penis is up inside of my own body right now.
You know that it's inverted?
Mine's in the waiting room.
It's gone.
It's like what in the fuck is that?
But this OnlyFans page probably slaps, right?
This is an OnlyFans page?
No, dude, I'm sure it is.
That's why there's a link.
Let's move on.
This is TikTok so that it's linked up, right?
This is one of the worst things.
Some lady makes her living.
This is cosplay for people who are dogs
that don't get their nails clipped.
You know what I mean?
She could literally grab a mouse, you know?
Just fucking pull it right up to her mouth.
It's making somebody hard right now I mean you're
right I bet there's a fetish the fact that I like is when the super long
and they're clicking but don't paint don't it looks real. Oh, it's, it's like the shit. Look at the shit.
Gnarly.
Look at the.
How do you wear shoes?
You can't wear sandals.
You don't wear shoes.
She never wears shoes.
That 100% is a sandal wearing person.
Yes.
And you can tell from the sunspots,
glistening on her ankles.
Yes.
I'm assuming it, listen, I apologize for gendering you.
I'm assuming that you are a woman.
I dare you.
Wild assumption that you've made.
Wild.
But let's.
They them, they them, right?
I am on the verge of vomiting,
so let's go to the next one.
Coffee time.
Strong black coffee.
Best drink of the day.
All right, so this one, she's on.
Okay, that's it?
Yeah, she sends me this every morning.
Oh.
The same woman. This is how I wake my husband up every morning.
Love it, love it.
Okay, so it's the same thing.
She wears different revealing attire.
Okay.
And then says, strong black coffee.
Best drink of the day.
That's not off-putting.
And I go, I roll it straight back,
please stop sending me this.
Well, she clearly showcases her ample bosom.
It's a thinly veiled bosom Instagram.
I mean, that's a pregnant bike rack right there.
I mean, it's pretty serious.
She should go at her tits.
Usually, sometimes she's in bikini tops
and you're like, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, they're really out there.
She really needs to get her breast MRI.
There's probably 10 dicks.
Oh, can we pull the mic a little closer to the rest? Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. She's got 10 cancer dicks get her breast MRI. There's probably 10 dicks.
Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sorry.
She's got 10 cancer dicks in her tits.
Okay, let's move on to the fucking...
I only had one.
Cancer dicks!
My tumor was six inches.
We are racist, we are proud of it, and I don't really want any immigrants in my country, you know?
Some people say there is The demographic problem in Poland we need more young kids, you know and what I'm about to say is not good
Yeah, of course let the immigrants in let them rape our women and let's have more kids man
if you want that let's do it but
Against that I'm against all the immigration
I don't really like that and I'm not trying to take a risk for immigrants people to our women
our kids and that will be just dangerous I don't approve that thank you man
I mean say what you want he's got he's very polite.
You know, he thanked him at the end.
You know what?
And the shit I'll tell you guys had a couple of drinks.
He's like, oh, you want to talk to me?
He's had a couple of bottles.
Yeah, that kid.
I guess I was swimming.
Oh, yeah. He's looking wrecked.
Yes, you're right.
But I will say I may have family members, people
I know that would say this stuff perfectly sober. This is not an unpopular
Eastern you're not wrong. Yeah having played a lot of those places. I've been exposed to a lot of that shit You know, what's nice Corey about our country. Yes, just us just
When no one is here back is much better country so many dark people
Good not agree more. Yes
Yeah, yeah on aliving our children
This kids a kid yeah, he's a fuck
That's what I'm saying. He's heard this right home. Oh, yeah, this is one of his and also
No, Mike assume can we assume that English is not his first language?
Of course, in Polish.
So maybe it's just lost in the translation.
Maybe it's better in the Polish.
In Polish, it'd be like, oh yeah,
he's just a nationalist.
He's just, oh, okay, so, you know, pride.
There we go.
I just think that if you met this,
if you showed me this kid, no mic, nothing,
you're like, what do you think of this guy?
I'd be like, he seems like a nice guy. He's a you're like we think this guy like Like it's a nice guy
Still yeah, oh yeah, oh this is gonna be wholesome. He's probably gonna talk about skateboarding. You know fruit roll-ups. You know cuz that's what kids do
Okay
Showing you the flower.
There's a guy, he's very fit.
The music is incredible.
He's got hearty nips too.
Oh yeah.
Beefy nips.
Bike shorts.
He's just letting you know what he's got to offer.
I don't know why I need to keep seeing his crotch.
I don't know why that heaps happening.
He's telling you.
Oh, he kissed you, he just gave you a kiss.
Dude, he is smuggling plums down in Judas Priest.
So this is also a lane of TikTok
where it's the shirtless fit guy
and then he like glances, like you can glance his junk.
Like, it's like accidental.
Yeah, whoopsie.
Did I just reveal my crotch?
Uh-oh, coffee time.
It's the equivalent of strong black coffee.
My wife has some shit like that
where it's like the vampires and the werewolves.
Yeah.
They're, oh dude.
They have their own lane.
They've got a whole lane where it's like,
I think one's like a, there's a troll.
There's, yeah.
What are you talking about?
On the talk?
I mean, are you guys gonna trade your followers?
Are you gonna?
Hold on, time out.
I haven't been on social media since 2018.
I see the shit over her shoulder.
Okay.
So I'm just-
Well tell your lady to hook me up.
But she, oh yeah, you guys need to talk.
Algorithms.
Hers are fucking incredible.
Like really, really good.
Vampires, werewolves.
Yeah, and it's this one dude, I mean, and he's got a lot of followers and he's got long black hair
and he is just like, when I'm out.
I mean, he is dark.
Oh, wait a minute.
Isn't he light skinned, the black guy?
No.
With really pretty eyes?
No, but I'm sure she follows him too.
So, and it's like, she's some gorgeous men
and I'm just sitting there going.
Those are some warlocks.
I've seen the warlocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's some gorgeous men, and I'm just sitting there going, those are some warlocks. I've seen the warlocks.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, there's some serious shit.
Pretty cool.
Yeah, her, her, her, her for you page
is pretty fucking amazing.
That's awesome.
I gotta exchange.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You guys gotta talk.
Yeah.
It's gonna be great.
All right.
Okay, what do we got here?
If a guy could spell his name with his load,
I would wear that necklace forever.
And although we did have enough powder
where spelling the whole name would be possible,
my client ordered a simple letter necklace
with his semen sample incorporated.
That's me.
Of course I had to do a gummy bear to match.
T for Tom.
Thank you.
Did I get it?
Make a lot of jizz.
No, I'm wearing it.
Oh, but you ordered it?
Oh yeah, the gummy bear and T for Tom.
Wow, that's really cool.
Are we just gonna skip the part where it was load? I'm wearing it. Oh, but you ordered it? Well yeah, the gummy bear and tea for tar. Wow, that's really cool.
Are we just gonna skip the part where it was, load?
So you just, you mail in your jizz
and then they dehydrate it and they make these,
I mean like. Oh.
Load jewels.
Well you don't, you don't wanna express
that you love somebody? When you fucking square, yeah.
I mean, listen, I mean I love crafting
as much as the next guy.
Okay, just mail your jizz into this lady.
Yeah, I mean, fucking what?
Christmas is around the corner.
Yeah, man.
Get your lady something nice.
I don't need more gift ideas.
What are you gonna get her, another fucking bracelet?
Like her?
It's from Tiffany's, yawn.
Yawn.
Yeah, when are you gonna fucking,
when are you gonna fucking, you know,
what are you gonna fill this?
Yeah, with jizz in it.
Well, actually, it would be quite a conundrum, Tom,
if you gave me jizz jewelry,
but then it was diamond encrusted,
so you're like, do you wear it or, you know what I mean?
Yeah, or do you eat it?
I got it, yeah.
Yeah.
I sprinkle diamonds in my food.
Oh, shit.
Coffee. Oh, here it is.
Strong black coffee.
Best drink of the day.
It could be me.
I mean, that could have been me if I had my tits.
10 more years.
I bet you she crushes OnlyFans.
That's got to be what this is.
You think she's a fan of immigrants coming into our country?
Brexit.
How'd you vote? Strong. Brexit or nexit? country. Brexit. How'd you vote? Brexit or nexit?
Black coffee. Strong neck coffee.
People.
Wow.
Totally. I'm surprised she's drinking coffee.
They're a tea drinking folk.
Oh you're right.
Yeah, you're right.
Or maybe it's geographically specific.
Like she does these for America.
Right.
And then she keeps the cup of tea, cup of tea, cup of hot tea.
Strong black tea.
Tea all the time.
Strong English breakfast tea.
I'm a coffee guy, dude.
Yeah, same.
Yeah, I don't like it either.
Makes my tummy hurt, the tea.
Oh, gee, this is Stephen Baldwin.
I love you.
He's been doing this a lot.
Fucking so weird. It is so weird.
What, what, what the fuck is, what is?
That is a, this is a version of thirst trapping.
It really is.
Yeah, yeah.
It is, but instead of being like sexually trapping people,
it's doing this emotional hijacking.
So what you're trying to do is enlist people to be like,
either I love you too, or what's going on with you,
I'm deeply disturbed.
Interesting.
It's all attention getting,
so this is not fucking-
This is so true, Tom.
This is the true, Tom.
This is the equivalent of the 2008 Facebook post
of like, mom's healing well, the wounds are pussing,
but I'm cleaning them every day.
Thanks for checking on me.
Oh my God, are you okay?
It's just to elicit a react.
Like, did we all need to know that Steven Baldwin loved us?
Like, it's just strange.
I mean, I didn't know until today.
Right now. I think I'm, I didn't know until today. Right now.
I think I'm a little worse for wear for it.
The funny thing is, he's doing that.
And then we have this clip of Alec when he was in court.
I really appreciated the acting that he did on Saturday Night Live.
And I really appreciate his politics.
You told one of the witnesses who disagreed with you
during an interview that you thought
Mr. Baldwin was a cocksucker.
I do not recall saying that.
That snap rip.
That was a snap.
That's very good.
That's very good.
Court, you can say that in court?
If it's a transcript, yeah.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
All right, we're almost done. He's like, wait a minute.
I didn't fucking shit it on myself.
Oh my God.
Had to get right back in the shower.
Y'all, I thought it was gonna be a fart,
like a regular fart.
Oh yeah.
But then she spit it out.
I was like, oh my God. Nope, she spit it out.
That's what happened when you,
in the process of losing weight,
you basically shit out a lot of
Wait.
Toxins and shit.
Is that it?
Is that it?
Is that it?
Yeah, that just happened to my old white sheets.
Oof.
I don't know that you needed to actually post this.
That's what I'm wondering.
This is 100% OnlyFans.
This has to be-
This?
Oh yeah, come on.
You could have just like-
Listen.
Talk to the camera and be like, I should have.
Am I one of the only ones who remembers cake farts?
No, please.
Or the off-brand meatloaf farts.
You remember that one?
I've seen that too.
Oh, I don't know which one I prefer worse.
Yeah.
However, I will say after a certain age,
this is a 100% problem to worry about.
It's relatable.
You have to give it the one cheek sneak
that Carlin used to say, he's like, oh Christ, please just be gas.
Well what's interesting about this one
is that it's a woman choosing to post a shart sheet.
And she stayed on that, like here it is.
Here's the massive shit that's going down.
Shart sheet, yeah, led with it.
Yeah.
Didn't start with her, led with it.
Could've just told you the story.
Strong.
You're never gonna believe what happened.
That's a strong game. Like she's, I'm so confident that people are gonna wanna see this, led with it. Could have just told you the story. You're never gonna believe what happened. That's a strong game.
Like she's, I'm so confident that people
are gonna wanna see this, leading with this.
And you know, when you lose weight,
a lot of times what happens is you shit out your weight.
You do shit, you shit that weight out.
Yeah, what are you waiting for?
It's time for you to shit that weight out.
Yeah.
That's not.
You just shit out your weight.
Yeah, just happens.
Aw, fuck. All right, last one.
Here we go.
Best drink of the day.
What is the charge?
Eating a meal?
A succulent Chinese meal?
Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest.
So this is one of our original favorite clips on the show.
I was going to say, I've seen that one.
And he, like, I mean, we're talking like more than 10, like 10 years ago.
Yeah. And he was, I mean, the clip is older, but like we like really were.
And then this man just passed away.
Oh, Jackson was arrested in 1991.
Police believed he was one of Queensland's most wanted a serial credit card fraudster.
One Chinese meal at a time.
See that chap over there? He's got a jar of North White penis. most wanted. A serial credit card fraudster, one Chinese meal at a time.
See that chap over there? Get your hand off my penis!
Mr Carlson met his arresting officer in June at the legendary restaurant. When it comes
to the allegations of credit card fraud, Mr Carlson maintained his innocence.
If they can put something on you, they'll do it.
From the age of seven, Mr Carlson had spent time in Institutions homes and had escaped from jail three times
Also a passionate. Oh
I think he should have got an Academy Award. I think he would have made a great a great actor
Mr. Carlson was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and has died aged 82. Oh, well, the one I got most. Tadah! And farewell.
So I'll enjoy this.
Oh, we salute you.
Rest in peace.
Yeah, man.
I hope he had his final succulent Chinese meal.
No, shit.
Jesus.
Before he died.
Quite a news piece on him.
I didn't realize he was
So right. So right.
Yeah, totally.
From jail three times.
Yeah.
And he clearly was an actor
because that voice they put on
Oh, yeah.
Was a son. Put your hands off my penis! Bring it on. Yeah. Oh yeah. Show hands off my penis.
Penis.
Yeah.
That's brilliant.
That was really good.
Holy shit.
If I get arrested, I'm going to go out like that.
That's right.
Don't touch my penis.
Mama love you.
Mama love you.
All right.
Cory, thank you for coming.
No, thank you for having me, man.
I really appreciate it.
We really enjoyed it.
Elyse and I have been massive fans for a very long time.
Awesome.
So we were really stoked when this came up.
It was a real treat to have you.
Come back again.
And we'll do my best.
Congrats.
Next time, can we bring Alicia?
Yeah.
Because she's way funnier than I am.
Oh, no.
And way better to look at, trust me.
Then fucking yeah, for sure.
Yeah, 100%.
Let's have her replace you.
Exactly.
But congrats on 25 years.
Thank you.
And on the tour, the tour continues.
If you wanna see Slipknot on tour,
they're gonna be in South America and then Europe.
And you can get tickets at slipknotone.com.
Again, thank you so much for coming.
Thanks for having me, man.
Thank you.
All right, we'll see you guys.
Bye. Bye, mommy.
This is my struggle. Thanks for having me man. Thank you. Alright, we'll see you guys. Bye. Bye mommy.
This is my struggle.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, makes the pain go away.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, makes the pain go away.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, makes the pain go away.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, makes the pain go away.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, makes the pain go away.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, makes the pain go away.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, makes the pain go away.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, makes the pain go away.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, makes the pain go away.
Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey. Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey. Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, hey. Your mom's house, your mom's house, your mom's house, and your mom's house makes the pain go away
Your mom's house, and your mom's house, my struggle every day
Your mom's house, your mom's house makes my pain go away I don't care about anything at all
But Christina Pita in your mouth sounds
I don't care about anything at all But crispy to be
Tone in your mouth sounds
Got my jeans on
Got my jeans on
Got my jeans on high time
Got my jeans on
Got my jeans on
Got my jeans on, I got my jeans on, I got my jeans on high in time Don't mind her I don't care about anything at all
But Christina, meet her in your mouth sounds
I don't care about anything at all But crispy to be
Come in your mouth's house
Touch my camera through the fence
You fake it
I'll eat your booty
Just return the favor
Good morning queen, you're gonna have a good day
You are amazing, I make pancakes
I don't care about anything at all but Christina Dumped in your mouth's out