Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Classic Jeans 43-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: October 1, 2014

Well, we were about to do a new episode but then Tommy went off and got sick like a big, ol dumb bear. Now he's on bed rest and we have to delay our return for another day.  Please enjoy this Classic episode which has the origins of F****n Camp! among other Tourettes Classics! This is high quality denim we have here. 

Well hello there mommies. I hope your jeans are up super high and tight. My jeans are only at half mass today because my better half, the sometimes made mommy, let's not inflate his ego. He is down with a pretty severe cold flu thing. He went to the doctor today and got some drugs, so he's going to be better by the time we need to make a second episode this week and he will be better by the time he goes to Orlando this weekend. He's at the Orlando Improv October 2nd through 5th, so you can still catch him. But just now he needs to rest his jeans because they're so flammie. He keeps corking and barking and it's just disgusting. You don't want to hear him. Also, I'm at the Cincinnati Funny Bone

this weekend, October 2nd through 5th. That's October 2nd, October 3rd, October 4th, and October 5th. I just to clarify, Tom likes to be specific. And guess what? Your mommies are coming to do the podcast in San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club. I'm sorry, Man Friend Disco. October 9th, that is right around the corner, little jeans. That's next Thursday. I hope you got your tickets. And after that, we do the podcast November 6th at the Highline in Seattle, November 7th in Portland at the Analog Cafe, and then November 8th, Chicago. Chicago at the Empty Bottle. So please get your tickets now because they do sell out fast. Those are big cities, guys, because we're doing big things. So listen, we're going to give

you an episode from the vaults. But before that, I think that's it. I mean, my jeans isn't here to help, so I don't even know if I've covered anything. Anyway, I missed them already. So we're providing you with this classic episode. This is number 43. This is deep vaults. This is deep jeans. This is this is like the third episode we did outside of Death Squad. So enjoy this. This is from back in the day. I love you, jeans, and we'll see you next episode. We'll see you Friday back in Restored. Okay, I love you. I got so excited, too. I feel like that was perfect. You didn't want to do it, I guess, right then, huh? Should I get excited again? I guess so. Let's see if we can get excited the second

time. This is Radio Clash from Pirate Satellite, orbiting your living room, catching the Bill of Rights, to run on the surface. This is Radio Clash from Mommy's House. Everybody sing your mom. You're fired up to hear this jam. I love this jam. The Clash, out. Can't go wrong with the Clash. Hail to the no. We usually do hip hop, but this time this mommy made a special request. Mix it up, I say. That song gets me fired up. I feel like, don't you feel like going out on the streets and just wreaking havoc? Yeah. Stick it to the man. Hell yeah. That's it. That's White Rebellion right there. It's good to be in the Romney Dome. It is, man. We're here. Good to be back. Where were you

this last week? I don't even remember. I was in Denver. Oh, that's right. Big shout out, recorded a new album. Oh, how'd it go? It was awesome. I'm so proud of you, Bill. Thank you to every single person. A lot of you came out from this podcast, from Rogan's podcast, Death Squad, everything, everybody. It was awesome. It was so cool. So you feel good? Like it was going to be a dope album? It's dope. Yeah. Saturday night was just fucking bananas. If you were at Saturday night, you know what I'm talking about. There's some nights, you know, like Friday night, honestly, was good. And I was like, all right, this is good. You know, like I was pretty happy with it. Yeah. But there was still somewhere else. And I'm saying, I'm not saying like, I'm not talking about I was

good. I mean, like the response. You're not referring to yourself. No, no, no. I'm talking about the response. Like you get like a good reaction. You're like, cool. Like that's a good reaction. But Saturday night, it was just like, you know, when you get in a hot room and you're like, boom goes the dynamite. You go like, this is better than I am. That's what you want on wax. That's what you want to record. Definitely a better response than I deserve. Of course. That's always the best place to record an album. You don't want some mediocre. No, man. Because you know, you hear some people's albums and you're like, yo, why don't you record somewhere where people laugh? Like, why would you, why would you take it to a club where people don't

appreciate what you're saying, man? Of course. Of course. Well, that's glad I'm glad to hear that, boo boo. Yeah. That's really, I know you are concerned and yeah, it turned out to be awesome. So I really do want to thank all of you that came out to the comedy works south. There was a, oh, there was a little bit of competition. I don't know. I didn't actually tell you about that. Well, I was doing stand up at one club at the other club downtown was this a new guy. I don't know if you heard of him, Bill Burr. Never heard of him. Yeah. Is he funny? He's all right. He'll get, he'll get there. He's an open miker or something. Yeah, he's just starting out. Did he win a contest and they gave him a week? They're like, you can have a week.

Here's a, here's a condo and some, some wings. Enjoy yourself. And then I think at the Wells Fargo Center was this other guy who just started named Brian Regan. Never heard of him. No, another guy just getting into it, but he does a lot of poop jokes like we do, right? Real, real dirty guy. Filthy, filthy, dirty, dirty. Bill Burr is so goddamn funny, by the way. I forgot about how much I liked Bill Burr until you brought him up. I know. And he's like, super modest, like, yeah, did that go well? And you're like, uh, fucking seriously. He crushes. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Totally ridiculous. Can I tell you, I'm really glad that happened for you, Mommy, because it's probably one of the most nerve wracking things to record an album because.

Oh yeah. Whoa. So you got excited just. Whoa. Sorry about the pop. Put it in your asshole. That's the first one of the, of the day. Yeah. Yeah. As I was saying though, are you smelling it right now? Not that I want it to, but yeah, I am. It's so gross. We were eating sushi last night. We got home and we went, we had sushi and my husband and I, and we're in the restaurant. We sucked up some sushi. We, we did. We, first of all, we ate like a couple of fat chicks. It was a fat girl night at the local. We spent a lot for us to talk about it. Yeah. So anyways, we're sitting there, we're finishing the meal and I look over and Tommy is wafting a fart into his, in his own fate. Like he's enjoying. Are you really going to put me on blast like that

again? Yeah. You're, you were stewing in your own and you were enjoying it. All right. Like a homeless guy, the way homeless guys probably do. Babe. But the point of the story is that I'm proud of you. I'm glad it went well. Oh, that's so gross. That was nothing. So horrifying. Anyway, thank you. I am happy about it. And to those that are interested, it will be out planning and putting it out in the spring. So maybe like May, May release. I'll be exciting. Yeah. So it'll be cool. That's exciting. I'm excited about it. I went to Louisville, Kentucky. Have you been there? Yeah. My dad's from there. Top dogs from Louisville. He's from Louisville. Yeah, buddy. I used to go there. Hey, buddy. Can I tell you? I wiped down. I wiped down, buddy. I was so nervous to go to

Kentucky because when they tell you like, oh, you're going to Louisville at first, you're like, kind of scared. And then I really enjoyed it. Like I thoroughly, the crowds were awesome. I signed, I signed a few toothless girls with huge titties. I signed their racks. Yeah. And like the crowds are just fun. A lot of fun, right? A lot of fun. Food was amazing. People were nice. I was very surprised. Pretty cool, man. Yeah. So that was good. You just did Top Dog and reminded me we got so many Twitters about top dogs. I got it. We got a huge response to Top Dog. And he's so popular. I got a treat for everybody coming up soon on the next episode. I think we'll, we'll just split. I feel like this is crackling. Crackling? When I laugh or something.

All right. I feel like it's, it pops. All right. You got that? Yeah. I mean, you know. Well, ask Blueban what the fuck to do. Blueban, what do you think we should do, man? Do you think we should? You think we should try something else, Blueban? He's not talking right now. That's silly. That's so, so gross. That's all Blueban had to say. But yeah, your dad was a huge success on the mom cast. He was, man. I told him about it. He's like, that's nice, buddy. Does he get it? Like, does he know what a podcast is? No, no. He has no idea. No, no, no. He's like, you can keep my residuals. And I was like, okay, thanks, man. Appreciate it. Does he have any idea? No, no, no. That doesn't register. He's like a what?

Well, because somebody was like, somebody was like, we, he should have like his own Twitter. And I was like, God damn it. Could you imagine if your dad, I don't know if he could handle that, man. He wouldn't be able to like read it. No, get it. But now what's this button right here? Buddy. Hey, buddy. I don't know what the, what's a twat? What do I do with that? Oh, that's a different thing. You know what to do with those. All right. We had, we both had, we both again, it's only because we travel so much had crazy plane people. Oh my God, dude. You know, you didn't know, you know, the diarrhea changing the baby's diaper in here. They baby diaper. Yeah, that brought not a guy yesterday. The plane had landed. Well, first of all,

the whole time he was making this sound, I think you do it better because you worked with a comic that made this sound. Will you do it for people listening? Oh, oh, I'm going to throw up. Oh, stop it. Okay. That's enough. Yeah. Like somebody behind me, an older man kept doing that. Yeah. And that was nauseating. And then when the plane stopped and we were getting off, it was silent. And he's the only person make, he made like five phone calls. Hey, what's up? Yeah, we just landed. We're in the airport. I got to get my bags. How do you not get embarrassed about doing that shit? Like I get embarrassed. If I'm on the phone and then a crowded place anywhere on a plane anywhere, I'm just like, Hey, what's up? Yes. Yeah. No,

I can't really talk right now because I'm on a plane. Right. Cause everybody can hear me. So I can't really get into a personal conversation with you. I'll just meet you out front. Or text. Yeah. What about, Hey, I landed. See you in a few, lol. We, uh, we're on the plane right now. Like everybody tells Susan, I got to send her that email. Hopefully our bags came in because they've lost my bags before. We had, we had, we had vodka last night and then I slept in. I didn't, they didn't have the eggs that they normally have in the lobby. And then we got on this flight. It's like, you dumb cunt. Nobody wants to hear you talk about this. Oh yeah. Are they complaining about the food? They didn't even have the snack

packs. They advertised the snack packs and then they didn't have them. My guy, I'll tell you, uh, they got on this plane was I, first of all, I'm amazed and I'm not saying this to be really critical or super judgy of people, but I'm going to go ahead and judge the shit out of some people. And that is, um, what is like, what in the fuck is up with the heavy AM drinking that you see on planes? Dude, I mean, it's one thing if you're like, it's my honeymoon or we're going on a trip or we're going to party. I mean, we're going, we're going to Vegas, going to sandals, we're going to Cabo or something. You're like, this is the vacation is on party starting right now. But I'm with business people sitting next to me coast to coast every week. And I'm talking

seven AM flights, sometimes six, 30 flight, eight AM flights, sit down. And when you get, especially when you get upgraded, right? We get upgraded sometimes. Well, I don't know about you, but I am a gold medallion. Oh yeah. Yeah. I did. I was that like, I was seven. I'm platinum, but um, whatever. So you sit there, you luck out, you get upgraded and then, you know, they're like, can I get you something to drink? And at that time, you either want to wake up, you're like, I'll have a coffee or you don't want to wake up. Wait, can I say the six AM person that's like, I'm just going to get a latte and stay awake. That makes me bonkers. I won't do that. I never get coffee in that super early flight or the women that are all decked out and make up at six

AM. Get the fuck out of here, but go ahead. Sorry. So no, that's another one where you're like, oh, really? Why are you getting hot for, you know what I mean? You're hotting it up for a, for a four and a half hour, five hour flight. Yeah. Across the country. Heels. That means you got to wake up at four AM. The boot heels, the boots. Yeah. Yeah. I saw this. Wow. And like the skirt that's like tight and small and you're like, you're going to sit in that for five hours right now just so you can land and you're probably landing and just going directly to a hotel. Hopefully. So there's no, there's really no payoff to, except for you want the people, the fucking losers that are on the flight with you to be like, whoa, she looks pretty good.

Yeah. Well, you know who does that? My, one of my old step mom, she would fly to Hungary. Like when we'd all go back for like trips to Hungary, to the old country, fully decked. Like 10, 12 hour flights? Yeah, longer than that. Cause you got to connect in Germany. That is insane. So you fly to Germany for like 10 hours and then it's another connection to Budapest and it's like, and she would go full makeup, full heels. I say the longer the flight, the shittier you should look for sure. I look like shit all the time. I got, I got like PJ pants that I went for overseas flights. For sure. That's crazy. That is crazy. Do you wear panties though? Cause I know when guys wear like sweatpants,

you can see their beans and cheese. Yeah. I love when people see my shit. No, I know you do. I love showing it off. I'll take a look at it. Do you remember that time in Florida when you didn't, you didn't wear a bathing suit? I wore the just, just workout shorts. Just workout shorts to your knee, to right above the knee. And you got out of the ocean and there were women and children and perfect outline of everything. Yeah. Well, you can see veins. You're like, oh, that's the way people were like, I didn't know it points to the left like that. Yeah, sure it does. Everybody saw your junk that day.

Yeah. That was a good feeling. I really, I don't know, I get a real rush out of that. Feels good. Feels good. Wait, but I had a guy on my flight. He, he got, he, when the waitress, the waitress, the stewardess of the sky, the waitress of the sky came by. Yeah. She came by. I think they're called flight attendants, but yeah. Whatever. So she came by and it was like morning too. And, and he was like, yeah, give me a genotonic. You know what? Give me another one. Yeah. And then he got greedy and he's like, you know what? Can, give me another one. And she actually said to him, she's like, maybe you should slow it down, sir. Like she suggested. She said that to him.

Oh yeah. It's a four hour flight. But how did he, how did he respond to that? He was like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. That's okay. I had a real, I had a real son of a bitch sitting next to me. He goes Southern guy or no, this was, um, oh, sorry. I just knocked over some equipment in our, our mommy mansion. That's not good. Well, I mean, we got all these cords. That's better. Yeah. Got all these hats. One of these dolls I've had. We'll take down a tiny hat. Tiny hats as an open on Sundays. They are now. Um, what were we saying? Oh,

that was a Tim and Eric skit, by the way. We can't just say that. No, you can. Well, these two people are going to be like, Oh, I get that. Yeah, I know. We just, we don't have to fucking explain everything. I like to explain things, Tom. All right. So this guy, I hate you so, you're so pretentious. Fucking sits down. You've changed. He sits down and, um,

um, there was a guy on my plane with Tourette's. Yeah. Oh, let me fucking finish this story. All right. Well, hurry up. God, you're killing me, Larry. You're killing me, man. You ruin everything. So he sits down and, uh, we're the front row. We're the very front of the plane, right? We're both in first class. So we're in seat one A and B.

And he goes, uh, he sits down. She goes, I eat some of the drink. He goes, with the morning I've had, you can bring me two fucking drinks. And he says fucking, and she was like, and she knows his name. She's like, Oh, Larry, because he flies the route so much. She's like, Oh, here you go. He's like, mother fucking shit. Yeah. And he sits down, he opens like he has all his, he has like no luggage. It's like a, it's like a day, like a business flight for the day. Right.

And then it just starts, he just starts pounding him. He's just like, he takes it down. It's like a vodka tonic. And he's just like, sips it down and then he just holds it up. And she's like, I got another one coming for you. Like she knows what an alcoholic is. Like the country club. Yeah. And he, he's just like, yeah, he's like, yeah, I need a few of these. And I'm like, Jesus man. And I see it all the time where like, I flew next,

I flew with like this lady who was like a professor of something. She was talking to me about, you know, the psychology of performing. And the whole time she was like, I'll take it. Uh, yeah, I'll give you another one. Uh, yeah, I'll tell you, you can refill this. Let me get another one of this. And she had like rum. She was doing rum.

I was like, what the fuck man? It's eight o'clock in the morning right now. Everybody just operates fucking boozed out of their minds. For sure. Then we get to, uh, we land and the guy, I think it's when we landed in Denver from Salt Lake and that guy, somebody came up and you know, when somebody passes your aisle before you get up, it's kind of like an unnecessary thing.

But it's like, well, the guy's only like a row behind us. We land, he gets up and he steps in front of us. And the guy next to me goes fucking asshole. And I was like, oh, that's so great. But he said it like you would if you've been drinking, which was like, you have less, you know, you're less reserved. You say things and, and when you're totally sober, you know, a tight little plane and it's 11 o'clock in the morning,

you're like, yeah, that's, that's a little aggressive, man. You don't need to say fucking asshole to the guy. Yeah. Well, I love, uh, oh, let it go. Oh, oh, I'm so proud of you, baby. Really let it go. Sorry. Oh, I'm so proud. So wait, but can I just tell you though, like what,

I love how that the old white guys like, oh, you wouldn't believe the morning I had. What was me? What could possibly have happened to him? And then he has to sit in first class, B-O-O-H-O-O. You know what I mean? Oh, I'm sure what happened was that like, you know, his car service was late or some shit or, or, or,

or, you know, he had to wait an extra few minutes in line or some shit. Like something totally petty. You got to drink it up. Not after the morning I had, I'll take fucking two of those. Yeah, that's definitely not it. It's got to be because it's free. You know how people lose their shit when something is free? Oh yeah. Yeah.

I think that's what it is. The last time I drank, I forget where I was going and it was like, oh, I'm not doing press. I wasn't doing anything that day just flying. And I was going to do press the next day. And I was like, I'm just going to drink on this flat. And I got the worst headache because when you're up in the air, that altitude, not only do you fart more,

but it's actually not that good for you. No, it's not good for you. You shouldn't be doing that, you know, losing it up in the sky. What, when, what flight did you have the Tourette's guy on? Oh, mommy, that was, that was just home on the way home from Louisville. And he was like talking to his friends. Selfie fog. It's so good.

And he was like, just like barking and making sounds. And his friends were like, shut up. They were telling, oh, really? They were getting him to calm down because he was doing it in the gate. That is so good. So much fun. Oh my God. So they ushered him away from where I was sitting.

And I didn't get to see him after that. I heard him like talking to his buddies after and he was just loud. He would say like, just, I couldn't understand it. I couldn't make it out, but he was like making like, Root, Root. Like I think it might be barking or something. But I was very excited. Johnny Davidson, Johnny Davidson.

Do we figure out who Johnny Davidson was? That's him. That's his name. That's his name. He's saying over and over. For those of you that. That's so much fun. That were with us.

We had a whole Tourette's episode. Back in the death squad days. We had a Tourette's episode. We did. Somebody, I think somebody sent me that. It was like a highlight reel of this BBC documentary about people with Tourette's. Yeah. I'm a chicken fucker.

Yeah. All kinds of crazy shit. That was the best man. That was so much fun. I'm a chicken fucker. Well, the best part is that he, he and his buddy had. Fuck off. They had a good, they had a good spirit about stuff.

They did. They got a lot. I'm up to my knees and fucking co-part. I'm up to my knees and fucking cowl puck. They had group sessions. That was the best thing about it. Therapy. That was the best man.

A chopper is chopper. Maybe somebody in the group. Chopper is the guy who later. That's chopper chopper. Yeah, it's, it's hard. The best about this is that it's in a foreign accent too. Yeah. Tourette's is so much funnier when it's in a foreign accent.

I mean, there's American, you know. Yeah. Well, when I see people like, I sometimes say what I'm thinking about them, but I don't mean it kind of thing. That kind of, but I'm not racist. I just can't help it. And I feel like I'll be guilty afterwards. Oh God, that's the worst.

That is the worst man. That is, that's another video that was sent to us. And that is a teenage, there's a teenage group that they all had Tourette's and they sent them to this camp. But, you know, like the Scottish one was like, you know, all the fuck off and filthy fags. And another gay man, oh, he can't contain sauce. Everybody in this group says racist shit. Oh my God.

Here, here's like how the Americans are racist. So ignoring the tics is the best policy. So this is a documentary clip. Oh, she wasn't American. Sorry. She was. There's Brits coming up in this clip. But this is a documentary clip that followed these kids who ended up going to this camp.

And they're out in public right now. This is a girl, she looks to be about like maybe 13, 14. And she's out with her mother in public right now. And that's when you just heard dropping n-bombs and they're walking around. Because to pay attention to them can make them worse. But it's easier said than done. Liga. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. So bad. What would you do, babe, if we had a kid like that? I mean, it's you can't. I mean, people must know that that's not intentional. You're looking at that. That's potentially he's getting murdered.

You know. Oh my God. Thank God it's a girl though. Yeah, but I don't know, man, the look that that her mother is giving her right now is like, please fucking know. Please stop. Yeah, because they're in a mall right now and they're walking around and it's not a good, it's not a good situation.

It doesn't look good. My stepmom's dad, who's dead now, my grandfather used to say shit in Hungarian like that. But you have threats? No, he was just racist. But I was in Hungarian. Oh my God. If it's in another language. He almost gave me an aneurysm.

Yeah, no, I know in your racism in other languages, it's always like funny. It doesn't carry the weight. No, it's just like when I was in South America or anywhere abroad, people speak Spanish and they say like horrible shit. Oh yeah. It was always like, yeah, it's funny. Yeah, it's almost endearing when it's in another language. Yeah, I get it.

They just don't like those brown people. It's funny. Do you think, oh my God. None of them have ever been to a teenage Tourette's camp before. For the next seven days, they'll be surrounded by 25 other teenagers who all have the condition. Shit, fuck. Now they're walking up. They like just got dropped off and they're walking towards the camp.

You pay attention to what comes up. You have to be scared of me, man, because I'm going to shower down very loud. Fuck off, you nigger. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God, dude. It's so bad. That is so bad.

Now, I guess, I mean, it can't be, well, I guess it is. I don't know. It's weird. It's, there's, they're only like tics, come and go, and they vary in intensity. Yeah, and then I was saying swears like nigger and stuff. Oh my God. Oh my God. That is the fourth person, the third or fourth person.

My favorite is that this girl, she just said, I say swears like that and then. Big words, you know. Yeah, that's a big word. That is, that's one way of calling it. That is a big word. And I'm going to, and I say like fucking camp. Oh, we all did, sweetie. That's okay.

I love that she, she feels bad about that too. She feels worse about fucking camp. I say the worst things like fucking camp. Yeah. I mean, nobody explained the other one. The other one, like, you know, there's another one that you said is the worst thing you can say. She's like, but fucking camp. Like us, us, people that work here that don't have Tourette's that feed you.

Yeah. And take and have your rooms cleaned. We say fucking camp. Right. You know, like, do you think, I mean, it doesn't sound like she's aware of the gravity of that word? Um, no, she says it and then she like looks around. Okay.

So she's aware that that's, she's probably been told like, well, like she's probably said that and people have been like, what in the fuck? So she knows that it's a word and she needs to like look around now, but she doesn't know. Yeah. And then I was saying swears like nigger and stuff. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh my God.

Big words, you know. That is big words. And I say like fucking camp. That's the best. Fucking camp. Yeah, that is a really bad thing. Camp does suck. Did you ever go to camp?

She compares the two is my favorite. Wait, did you ever go to summer camp, Tommy? Um, yeah, I did. Fucking camp. I did. I went to a science one. Um, I went science. Yeah, I got sent to a science camp one time.

It was like a couple of days. Did your parents know you at all? I don't know. I think they just thought it'd be good, you know. Fucking camp. I don't know what I say. Fucking camp. Hearing a little kid say fucking camp.

Yeah. She, cause you can tell the funny thing is that she's telling you about this stuff. She says involuntarily. Yeah. But for the example, she has to volunteer it. And so that's what's different about it. Cause she has the awareness right now. So even when she puts so much muscle into saying fucking camp.

Yeah, she usually just says it on accident. But when she wants you to hear it, it's really powerful. Fucking camp. The best is like, it's a little girl. This girl is like 10. It's so rad to hear. It's like, she's like 10. I love hearing little kids curse.

Holy shit. It's so much fun. Holy shit. Fucking camp. She really fucking hates it. I bet they make her pray every day like five times a day. Man. Fucking camp.

I went to a Jesus camp once for like a week, a sleepaway camp. And they made us pray like five times a day. And then they made us do Christmas in July. They were like, oh, it's Christmas in July. We're praying to Jesus. Did you like it? I hated it. I fucking camp.

I hated it. It was the worst. Fucking camp. Is that the only one you ever went to? Make her say it again. I'm like, fucking camp. No, I went to a day park. I went to Tarzana Park day camp when I was growing up as a kid.

It was just like a local recreation park. But they, you know, they make you do dumb shit like making fucking lanyards and, you know, LA, it was like 104 and the smog alerts and shit in the 80s. And they make us run around outside. Yeah. Oh, let's play flag football. Yeah.

Let's not. Let's stay inside in the air conditioning. How about that? You know what's fascinating about this though? Fucking camp. These clips. So apparently like there's no real, I guess there's not. Can you turn my ears up higher?

Your ears? Okay. How about that? Yeah. Oh, that's better. Okay. Thank you. Yeah.

So, but like there's no explanation to like the, why they say certain words, but you know, they're like socially, that's why people like swear. I don't know. They don't have an explanation for it. But it's interesting that these, the Scottish guy said all the things that you hear like Scottish and Brits and Irish people do, which is cursing and saying, you know, all the stuff that

that you normally like, you're like, oh, that's what like a, a Scottish guy would say. You know what I mean? And then the kids that are like American, all said racist slurs. 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:43,720 That's what I said when I first heard it. Why are the Americans so racist?

Yeah. So you're like, what, what is good? Why? Well, yeah. But it's, so it's gotta be in the head. Like he never says this guy who has fucking terrible. He says shit all the time. Oil, oil, oil on the road.

The other guys, you know, that's, that's kind of like, you're like, all right. I mean, that's the best. That's the best one, right? That's so creative. He says, he says all that stuff. And then you got fucking camp. She says that, but she also says the racist shit that you're

like, what are you saying that for? Why is that in your head? That's got to get in her head somehow. But that's okay. That's what I was thinking is that it swears like nigger and stuff. And stuff. She looks like she looks so like she feels so bad. It's got to come from home.

But she didn't volunteer. She volunteers that example. That's her prime to go to. That wasn't her having Tourette's. That's her giving an example. What do you say? Well, you know, there's different things I say. Did I say different things?

Well, could you give us an example? Yeah. And then I was saying swears like nigger and stuff. Okay. I just say what's in my heart. Do you think like right then the guy behind the camera is like, do you have any other like, do you want to go? What about the Mexicans or the Asians?

Another example. Big words. That is a big word. And I say like fucking camp. Oh, man. Yeah, she had to have heard that. Of course. How does that get in your head, man?

Well, I know. She looks like she's nine. I heard it from my racist grandfather. The man bombs her like, what is that? He would say that in English? No, in Hungarian. But then I didn't know that word. So I would ask and then everybody volunteers that one up for you.

Incredible. Absolutely incredible, man. So much fun. Yeah. Holy shit. Fucking camp. Hey, should we talk about, we were on the real housewives tonight. Oh, yeah.

We didn't even talk about, we didn't know that we were, that was airing tonight. Well, we should explain how we got on that. Because people were like, are you fucking on the real housewife? Why are you doing that? So our friend, Cindy Godfrey, she worked at this, she worked with the improvs and stuff. And she did this leukemia fundraiser.

I think it was a leukemia fundraiser. I don't remember. It was such a long time ago now. But well, no, that's what she did initially to meet. And while one doing that was like a competition who could raise the most in Orange County or something. Yeah. And one of the other people who was also doing fundraising

was the girl Gretchen Rossi, I think. Yes. Who was one of the real housewives of Orange County. That's the version that they're on, right? Yeah. And so anyways, they competed and met and I think actually sit Cindy Beater in fundraising. But then they became friends.

And then it came up in the conversation that I think Gretchen mentioned that she wanted to try comedy. With her boyfriend. Right, Slade, who we met. Anyways, all that conversation they had led to them saying that they wanted to try a day and tried a show. This is, people have never done stand-up before. So Cindy asked us and our buddy, Steve Trevino,

and a couple other people maybe? Or no, just us. I don't remember now. Well anyways, they asked them if they... This was last year we did this, was it 2011? Yeah, it was. But anyways, asked them to give them a little tutorial. Oh, right, yeah.

You actually were gone for that. Yeah, I was out of town. And I actually had food poisoning. Right. Drove down there. That's when I ended up going to the doctor. Oh my God, that's right. Yeah, I went to the doctor.

That's right. I had to like rush back. I mean, it was bad, bad, bad. But I hung out with them. I talked to them about like how you would build an act. Like it was, I don't know. I mean, how do you normally tell? I always like giving new comics as little advice as possible.

Because I don't feel like you can tell people how to do it. You know? No, you really can't. It's true. I remember, I do remember. I don't know what made it in the show. We don't know what made it into the show at all. No.

But I do remember almost shitting myself. And then I also remember that I told Gretchen, she's a very pretty girl. Like, well, you know, I wouldn't play up my looks if I were you. I would, I go, you know, you're attractive. So that's already apparent. Yeah. Maybe because she's kind of, you know, she's dressed,

she dolls it up. Gretchen is, she's a gorgeous lady. Right. If you guys don't know the show, she's, you know, very blonde, very tan. Yeah, Texan, I think. Yeah, sweet. But for stand-up, that could be a real trap for emails.

Well, the thing about being attractive, and actually man or woman, but more so for women, is if you're, you're attractive and you play it up, you're A, going to be distracting the audience from listening to you. They're going to be, they're going to be just looking at you even more, if you're, if you're trying to play it up more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's going to make, if you're a girl,

girls are going to resent you. Oh, it's the worst. And guys just want to fuck you. Well, yeah, because, you know, you're trying to get people off the fact that you're a woman half the time. Right. And then if you bring out the tits and everything, it's just, I personally, I'm of the school of like, put it away.

Right. So I essentially, I sat back there with Steve, and we gave her like a tutorial. It was like a, it was like a camp, you know. Yeah. Fucking camp. And we just, we just told her our thoughts on stuff. I didn't even see that one coming.

That was great. 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:33,720 Thank you. And we gave her our advice and, and one of the things she told me, oh, I said, I wouldn't play up your looks. And she goes, well, I'm thinking about going on stage in a bikini. Right. And I was like, awesome.

Yeah. And she wasn't lying. That's how David Tell does it, right? All the greats. Yeah, remember what she wore? Carlin, Bill Cosby did his act in a bikini, right? Oh, Tommy. Yeah, she did actually.

She was lying. It's a hard sell. It's, it's hard to get the audience on your side when you're like perfect. She's physically perfect. Yeah. Well, anyways, after that, they pitched the, they pitched this to the producers of the show and the producers liked it. So they made it a whole event.

And then we went down there one night and we ended up doing, I know, I just was. Oh, it's so gross. He's selling the guy in the airplane behind me. We ended up doing stand up. They filmed it and then we never heard from them again. And then we just got tweets. No, we did another show with Gretchen, didn't we? You did.

I did. Oh, that's right. But I'm saying they never, like the actual film crew was like, yeah, anyways. That's how it is in reality. Yeah. And you're like, so when's this going to air? And they're like, I have no idea. That's always how it is on reality shows.

So like you do this stuff and then it just airs. Then you get tweets or, or emails from friends or phone calls. Like I just saw you on TV and you're like, what? It's so rude. It's like, you know, I was fucking camp. And so, God, no, I was on, I just did some VH one thing. I don't even know when that was airing.

You've done tons of that stuff, man. Yeah, but I don't, they never tell you. Like I just, I record them and I just, I don't even know. I never see myself on them, which is probably, but we didn't even see our own episode tonight. Yeah. I mean, all I, I kind of heard how it went. But anyways, if you did see it, those were your mommies. And we don't know, it's hard to comment on it because we haven't seen it.

We don't know. I don't know what they, I don't know if they aired our stand up. We did 20 minute sets. Yeah. Um, you, you went up after they, they first did their first thing, which was terrible. They were terrible. And, um, Wait, can I tell you?

Not that it should be good because it was, they'd never been on stage before, but to be fair, it was terrible. Yeah, let's qualify this. And you couldn't even fucking, you couldn't keep yourself from coming out, which is great. You were so like, what in the fuck was that? Which is what anybody would have said. Anybody that's a, that's funny would go up there and be like, that was because they, they were trying to do like a slide show.

And I think they're showing pictures that would only apply to people that were really fans of their show. Like, yeah. And I think, you know, that's a really insider-y. And not only that, the timing has to be really worked out on that. Even if like you have fans from a show that you're on and you do reality stuff and you, you go, I'm going to be at the, at the improv, they still in that setting want to see you be really funny because they're at a comedy club.

So it's hard to sway like even a die-hard fan that might be excited to see you. If you're not actually going to be really good, really funny, it's hard to win them over, man. They're not just going to sit there and be like, oh, it's cool to look at you for 20 minutes. No. And even the big name acts, like even, you know, Louis CK or even like Joe Rogan, for instance, they'll come see you because they love you. Right. But they want to see you be good. Yeah. You're, you're buying the first five minutes of their loyalty and then you got to do a show. You got to deliver, but that's the difference though between like a Joe or a Louis and somebody

like on reality shows that those guys are actual. They're real. They're real. Well, you know, with Gretchen and Slade, they're nice people. I will preface by saying that they're super nice to us. They were sweet. And I actually like her a lot. And I, I did feel a little bit of like, why is it, why are we doing, why are they doing stand-up? Like you guys have this career already. Like, why do you need to? Yeah. It's going all right already, right? Yeah. But, you know, they want to try it. And I don't begrudge anybody for wanting to try some, but. Well, let's be honest with what it really is. It's, it's also like,

if you can sell tickets, you can make money. Yes. Yes. You should. Right. I mean, that's why, you know, Stevo got into, Stevo from Jackass is on the comedy circuit now. Yeah, that's right. And so did Screech. Did you know that there is, when I was like doing these, these really crazy clubs years back, I was, I had the same booker as Screech for a while. Did you really? Yeah. And I would do clubs. I would be two weeks behind Screech. Well, apparently, what's his name? Stevo is really likable and endearing. He is. I think he's all right. I met him once. And I'm saying like,

when you hang out, everybody who's like, no, that's met him and worked with him was like, he's a great guy. Like everybody likes him. And, you know, but apparently everybody says the absolute opposite about Screech, Dustin Diamond. They all say that. That's all I would hear is what he's a shit he was. Jesus. They were really fucking... And apparently he's a real diva. Isn't that funny? That's always consistent. That's my favorite. It's never like, it's never like you hear one person say, that guy's a real fucking asshole. It's always like in waves. Yeah. You're like, oh, that guy must be a real, real asshole, you know, or...

Fucking camp. But I never understood that. I mean, we get paid to do something that we've done for free for years. Yeah. Hundreds of dollars too. Hundreds sometimes. Hundreds of dollars. And I never get that, man. Like, you're in a nice place, hopefully telling jokes to nice people. You're getting free nachos. Sometimes two platters of free nachos. It's a cool gig to have. It's definitely a cool gig to have. Yeah, man. Yeah. It's definitely... There's no reason to be...

There's never a reason to be a real asshole to people, you know? No. Not really, man. What is that? Oh my goodness. That's an old sound. It is ridiculous. You know what time it means? It's time for a dental update. Dental update. You had a real life dental moment. I had a real life moment. I was telling jokes in Louisville on Sunday night, and I was sitting on the stool, and I crossed my leg, and I looked, and in my shoe was a piece of filthy dental floss. How is that even fucking possible?

No. I guess... Because I'm a pig. When I'm on the road, I treat that room like it's your mouth. I just throw everything in it. Like it's my mouth? What? Yeah. That's really rude. And I flossed, and I would just throw it like wherever, and apparently it landed in my shoe, and I carried on stage. And you took it out during what? On stage? Absolutely. Yeah. That was like, oh my god, this is the fucking grossest thing ever, and I threw it on the stage. That's funny, man. And I have another dental update, and I remember that story I told a while ago about a friend of mine. Her mother did not brush her teeth. Yes. That was a big story. Huge breaking news.

And this was a woman who brushed her teeth once a day in the evening. And she would wake up, not brush, have coffee, and then all day long talk. Yeah. And it was ruining her relationships. With her family. With her family. Probably friends. Everybody. Co-workers. And so they sat down with her, and it turns out she has been brushing. How is that going? And it's been phenomenal. That's fantastic. Much happier. That's fantastic. So that's a win-win. I have been using toothpicks more. Interesting. And you gave me some shit about it. You said that your dad looks down on it. My father cannot stand it when people use toothpicks. You know what I have to say?

You know what I have to say to your dad? Welcome to America, man. That's how we do it around here. That's, I think that's why he doesn't like it. It's very American. It's like to like move it around. Oh yeah, he doesn't understand it. Yeah, it is. And you pick it, and you're like, I've been using those, and I've also been using the ones that have like a strand of floss. I hate those. And then the opposite end is like a picked peel. I hate it. That hurts. It crushes me. I've been bleeding a little bit, but you know, it's good. Feels good. I like that, buddy. It's a good kind of pain. Feels good, buddy. But the toothpick doesn't work for me. I find that it just pushes the food in even further.

Yeah. Well, you know. Does it dig it out for you? Yeah. I mean, you gotta learn how to manipulate. Ever since I got the cavities filled, though, I've noticed that I've been getting food stuck in between. Oh yeah. A couple of teeth more. Yeah. More consistently. Yeah, that happens with age too, I think. Really? Your gums get looser. You're just decaying. You're decomposing. I'm decomposing as we speak. Yeah. It's definitely been happening more. You got those silver dogs in your whiskers right now. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of like it though. It's cute on you. You look like a, I don't know, like an old Chihuahua.

I am not a Chihuahua. It was going blind. We didn't think. That's all right. We're not done with the show. Oh, I know, but I don't want to forget. Well, let's say it right now. Well, we, I wanted to thank a guy who donated to us. Yeah. You can go to yourmomshousepodcast.com and there's a lot you can do there. One of the things you can do is donate to the show. Why donate to the show? Because you love your mommies and this is a, you know, you don't have to. Obviously, this is always going to be a free show, but when you donate, it helps keep us going. You know, we have costs. We have bills to pay that are just out of doing the podcast. We have our hosting. Tommy's toothpicks and

toilet paper. I just bought a new toilet paper for cost of day mommy. Yeah. Because you go through like a roll a day. We have hosting stuff. We have equipment. We have a need for better equipment. So anything that you do that you donate is greatly appreciated and we got to give a big shout out to Rachel Turner and Steve and Casey for putting up with, you know, for donating and for putting up with, you know, she has to put up with his disgustingness and we want to give a shout out to them for that. And we also tell that if you, um, oh my God, if you, if you, uh, that that was for you, Rachel, um, if you guys donate and you, you get us, that was dedicated to Rachel, that plop, plop. If you give us a donation that allows us to get a new piece of equipment or something,

you can tell us what you want us to say. And we say it like monkeys. We'll say it like monkeys. But we'll give you a shout out. We'll do what you want. Um, hell yeah. But look, any amount helps. That's the thing. That's the whole point. You know, some people, uh, can donate a sizable amount. Some people can donate 10 bucks. Yo, 10 bucks is a definite help. Hell to the, yeah, man. Um, and you know, if you want something tangible in return for your donation, you can just order a super mommy pack or a, um, uh, where it dudes that t-shirt. Much of the deal. And that what means you, you donate, you're helping us out, but you're also getting something in return. And, uh, there's a lot of love. So that's, that's

that, um, I didn't get the chance to really tell you in detail, but the night before the night, you were gone. And the night before I left to go to Denver at an early flight, and I, I can never really sleep well the night before early flights. No way. Neither. I have such anxiety about traveling. I hate it. So I'm sitting there and we have a neighbor we've discussed. We smell their cooking and all that stuff. Her smelly shitty food. Yeah. It smells like she's cooking fucking dog food tonight. Did you smell that? Yeah, it's fucking terrible. It sucks. It sucks having a neighbor that you can hear and smell. Well, we like, you know, most, we hear TV, we hear conversations, we hear

things running, equipment, whatever. It's not only she's on a treadmill, but there isn't one over there. Can I tell you, I haven't even, I've not even said hello to her. I'm such an asshole. You haven't even seen her though. Dude, but I won't even make an attempt because I'm like, no, I'm all full of neighbors. I don't want to see nobody. Cause you know what the problem is? Once you say hello, you introduce yourself, you get downright, you get neighborly. And then the next thing you know, you're sitting on the couch, you're trying to enjoy your favorite program. And then knock, knock, knock. They want to come over. They want to talk to you. Do you think like I think that's why we're male? Because you don't want to be

inconvenient. Yeah, totally anti-social. Yeah, man. I want to tell them, man. I want to have a good time. Yeah, buddy. So I'm sitting there. I'm, I'm in bed. I only got a few hours. You know, there's only a few hours. I mean, I think it's probably like midnight, 12, 30, I don't know, maybe one. I'm getting up at four. So I'm just trying to get a little bit, like just so you have some energy, you know? I'm chilling. I start. Oh my. I hear moaning. Oh my God. And I start hearing screaming. And I'm like, you've got to be. Oh my, she's done it. That is unbelievable. I like the bass when she goes, oh. Oh my God. I start to hear this moment and I go. Oh my word. The thing is, it starts to

fade away. Yeah. And then it's gone. It's totally gone. Yeah. And I go, all right. And I got a few minutes. And then it's like a few minutes, you know, where you're like, is this going to be gone? Or is this not going to be gone? You know, you don't know what's going to happen. So I'm just waiting. I think it's all, it's all gone. And then like a few minutes later. She's really into it. And then it goes back to like, this is what I hear. Just like that. Just like this. Really having a party. It's having a good time. And that's what they were having over there too. I wonder who it is. I don't know. We haven't seen.

I like that sound. It's aggressive. And I don't like that at all. That's really, that's one of my favorite sounds. Yeah, that's good. So this went on. Babe, do you want me to talk like that when we do it? Sure. Sure. Sure. It's so aggressive. Geez. No, that's yeah. It's so theatrical. No, like one of the good things. Yeah, for sure. I go back to sleep. I start to fall asleep again. And then like, like she almost knows what's going on. A few minutes later again. No. Aggressive, man. Aggressive.

Oh, she's in the anal, huh? Wow. It was really aggressive. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep, man. With the slapping? Couldn't sleep. She said that. She said fuck that naughty asshole. She did? She did. That's crazy. The audio is so good that you got of her. Yeah, this is her. That's amazing. That'd be great if it was. So anyways, after months of living next to these ladies, we know that she's parties. For sure. Oh, wow. Wow. What's that?

This sounds like dude on dude point. I think we found what the dudes are at. Is this where they are? I never heard dude. Never heard dude though. It's so aggressive. I know, but I never heard a dude the whole time. Oh, just her? So it could have been a solo show. The thing is, to be fair, is that it's so distracting. I can't look at you and talk to her at this. And all fairness, if our walls are this thin, she can hear us when we sound like that. Right. I know, that's a good point. Have you checked out her podcast? I haven't listened to hers yet.

The irony is, she's right next door right now. I know, right now. She could probably hear us right now. Very, very possibly. I know. And we can be like, yeah, well, we guess what we heard the other day. We should make fun of her, you know? Be like, you come stupid. Or when we see her next time, just be like, stupid bitch. Come on. It's so weird to hear other people doing it. I don't. I've had hotel rooms. Oh, yeah. I tell them when you hear people fucking. Of course.

Because that's where you go to fucking really drop some dick on somebody in the hotel. That's where I've heard the fucking real shit, man. I'm trying to think I am. Cruise ship. I've had roommates. You heard roommates, fuck? Yeah. There was this great story. You know, Sarah Burns. Yeah. Was it her? She lived next door to two dudes. And all she would hear was like, fuck that ass. Fuck that ass. Fuck that ass. Fuck that ass.

And you're like, oh, that's got to be the worst one to hear. Yeah. That's pretty aggressive. I don't like to hear the descriptor. You know what I mean? Where did you? Did you ever hear your roommates having sex? I'm trying. Yeah, of course. What? College? Of course. Yeah. In college. Did you ever hear your parents doing it?

No. Never? Oh, my God. No. Top dog? You never heard that? No, no, no. Did you hear your parents do it? Yeah. No, my parents. My parents divorced. But yeah, my dad's girlfriends. You really? Yeah. You didn't want to hear that, probably.

No, of course not. Because when you're a kid, you don't know what that is. You're like, what? Who's being murdered? Oh, you would hear like? Not like that. You would hear them fucking? Yeah. Really? What age do you remember hearing this?

So disturbing. I kind of like third grade on, I remember. Really? Maybe I'd heard it before, but I didn't know what it was. Third grade? Yeah. Wow. And you're like, what the fuck?

And would it be addressed? Like, what do you say? 00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:28,360 Did you hear it? Would you ever allude to that? 00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:30,680 No, would you allude to that? Did you heard it though?

Never. You're like, hey, I heard you. Oh, nothing. Not in my house. You guys are way, the saguras are way more open with their dialogues. Yeah. Not in my house, man.

It was just like, don't ask, don't tell. Like. Really? No, you never walked in? Like, I would walk in on my parents doing it and stuff. Oh, that's aggressive. I don't like hearing the guy. No, I never walked in.

You walked in? Yeah, of course. And then it's, get the fuck out of here. And you're like, all right. No, I never walked in. Never. Oh my god. Guys never sound as good.

No. No, no. That's really, yeah. I hope we don't, I hope I don't hear her. You don't want to hear it. Oh, how old is she? I don't know, man. It was definitely like, I think she's probably like 40s

or something like that. That's so weird. Yeah. That's what I wanted to know. Ew, babe. No, I don't like it. It's got puke in it. No, I don't like it.

There's no puke. There's no puke. I don't like it. No, there's just, there's just commitment. No, I don't like it. I'm taking the headphone out. I don't like it. I don't like it.

That was, that was a really special moment. I don't like puking. You know I don't like it. There was no puking. No, there wasn't. Well, what was it then? That was just somebody kind of gagging themselves. Babe.

It was. I hate that stuff. There's no puke. I don't like it. There's no puke in that. It was leading to a puke. No, there's no puking. There's no puking.

I'd rather hear the anal audio than the puking. You're such a vulgarian. What? I'm just trying to... Go, you found those clips like you knew where they were. Oh, god. Oh, all right. Yeah.

All right. My naughty little ass. Okay, all right. Oh, my god. Oh, we want to keep our listeners. We forgot to give them a thank you and a shout out for the logo submissions. Oh, shit, yeah.

So you've had them coming in. We've been collecting them. Some of you have sent them over Twitter and you have an email. You can send them to your mom's podcast at gmail.com. Yeah. Your mom's podcast at gmail.com. That's where you should keep sending them. Send your logo submissions.

The whole criteria is we need a logo for your mom's house. The logo has to say your mom's house and it has to say Christina Pajitzki and Tom Segura somewhere on it. And other than that, you can add whatever images you want. You can just pictures you find of us online. You can draw them. They can be animated.

It can be whatever. We have a few that are outstanding. So we're pretty close to getting our favorite final five. So keep sending those in and we'll send cool stuff to the top five and something super cool to our winner. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's rad. That is rad.

What's up? You want to get to this really cool... The video I was watching? I mean, what I was watching? I don't know. You tell me. Oh, my God. When I was in Louisville, I was just in my hotel room. Have you ever watched Cat Williams before?

Yeah, I've watched a couple of his specials, actually. Really? Here's the thing, I've only ever seen him on Comedy Central when they bleep him and that fucking annoys me to no end because it's almost unlistnable when every other word is bleeped. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, so I got to finally just hear the guy say it and yes, he drops the n-bomb every other word and fucking that.

And that's fine. Actually, you get numb to it because you're like, oh, well, that's just how he talks. And he's really fucking funny. He's funny, yeah. But then he started talking about, babe, what are you doing? I was flicking a bugger. No, you weren't flicking it.

You were rolling it and where did you put it? In this paper, in this plastic bag. Babe. What? Where should I put it? It's a bag. It's so gross. I watched you fucking roll it between your fingers. Stop it.

I didn't know where to do it. What are you talking about? You picked your nose for fucking 10 minutes at a restaurant yesterday. So nobody could see me and my back was under that. Everybody could see you. Everybody could see you. It was fucking ridiculous. You had your finger all the way in and you pulled it around

like you were digging around for it like a child. And why are you giving me shit about doing that? Because it's gross. I watched you just do it right now. So what? What? So what? But anyway, Kat Williams is a really, really fucking funny, dude.

Yeah. I really enjoyed his stuff. Now, the special I watched was from, I think, 07 and he's wearing a tuxedo. And he just starts doing that pimp stuff and he had a bit. I got to do this. I got to do this public service announcement. This is it. This is for a certain group of niggas that's in here tonight.

Real niggas generally don't even talk to them. I need to speak to all the bitch niggas and the tendons tonight. If you please listen, bitch niggas, if I can have your attention. Thank you. We know y'all in here. Every time there's a bunch of real niggas, there's a bunch of bitch niggas. They come trying to see what the fuck going on. So let me talk to you for a second, bitch niggas.

I know real niggas are probably... This is the bit. So are you like, are you like, what is going on? Well, because I understood it. Like, I'm okay. I'm pretty down with like black culture and references. So I understood a lot of the special. But then when he starts talking about bitch niggas, I was like, what's a bitch nigga?

He doesn't explain it. It's not like he defines it for the wide audience. I didn't know what a bitch nigga was. And I texted you when you were still on stage because we're in different time zones. You didn't answer. What is this? Yeah. And so I had to Google it.

I fucking Googled. You did? I Googled bitch nigga. Did you know what that is? I'm pretty sure I know. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Are you sure? I mean, I don't know how Google would define it or whatever.

But, you know, it's basically like a punk ass bitch. And, you know, is what he's describing. Like there's, there's the ones, there's real ones. Right. And then there's bitch ass ones. And so it's the ones that, you know, would, I guess would be a bitch. Like, you know, haters. Oh yeah.

He doesn't like haters. Right. But that would fall in the category. I mean, here he. Wonder like, why would you even talk to them? But before we go to war with y'all for another year, I want, I want to let you know you don't have to be a bitch nigga all your life. Okay.

You don't. After this show, you can get one of these real niggas in attendance today and let them tutor you on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays till you get some of that bitch out your system. I'm trying to save your life bitch nigga, please. Wow. So there's a difference between the real ones and then the bitch just say it. I hate, I hate saying it. I know.

I feel terrible. Okay. What is, what did, where did this search lead you? Well, then I started thinking like you're pretty much an aficionado on black culture. I mean, you have the musical taste of a 12 year old black girl. Right. Right. And then I started thinking like, does Tom know everything about black culture?

Because I said, I was like, oh, do you know what a bitch nigga is? And you're like, yeah, yeah, of course. And you rattled that shit off. Right. What did, well, how was it defined? Oh, bitch nigga on the urban, I looked at the urban dictionary. Yeah. And what you said, like effeminate, let's a woman boss him around.

That's a huge one. I think is that if a woman tells you what to do, you're a bitch nigga. But then I was like, I have so many more questions about black culture that I'm not aware of. And maybe you could define them for me. Okay. Okay. First of all, I love the song and I've been listening to it for years and I'm not sure what it is.

Yeah. What is a gravel pit? Um, you know the song I'm referring to. Check out my gravel pit. Yeah. That's why didn't you tell me to fucking prepare this? Oh, I'm sorry. I just said you weren't going to ask this thing.

A mystery unraveling. But why would you not? Why do you give me a head up? A heads up on this one. Travel, did I say travel with as we go? I don't know. What is that? A pussy?

Is it? Check out my gravel pit. I don't know. I don't understand. You're supposed to know. Well, I'm just telling you. I don't understand.

01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:02,920 My birthday. Let's take it. Drop me off. Drop me off too. Drop us off. I don't know what's going on. I mean, did you look it up? I'm looking it up right now.

That's it. Check this out. It's the jumpboard right there. I want everybody to put your clothes down. Put your guns down. If you pour it to the pit. The gravel pit. Leave your fathers at home.

Leave your children at home. You're going to take them back up the ground. I beat Bobby voters. You can't grab on your mind what time. It's the jumpboard. So just jump on. Uh-oh. But wait, why would you leave your...

He says leave your children at home and report to the gravel pit. Yeah, I don't know. He's like, get a babysitter. Maybe that's where shit goes down. In the gravel pit. Yeah. Like, that's like real world shit.

Like, you know what I mean? Maybe pour down, go boom. It's a good gym. All right. Oh, well, the first... Okay, ready for this? Yeah. Urban dictionary, the number one result

is another name for vagina. Right. So I had good instincts. Okay. It's also a drink. Oh, the gravel pit? Yeah. Five parts strawberry, tangerine,

christafflite, two parts OJ, red bull vodka, some blueberries on top. I don't know what the fuck that is, man. I don't know. That sounds like some bullshit. When you make your partner eat peanuts or sorted out items for a week and then perform anal intercourse.

That's, see, that sounds like a gravel pit. It does, man. That's a gravel pit. But the Wu don't sing about that. No, that's not this thing. That's not the fucking... The girl's singing, check out my gravel pit. Right.

Wu Tang is a city that I travel with. Yeah. She's talking about her pussy, man. For sure. Oh, what's up, ghost? People's wonk, wonk. Um, okay. A mystery unraveling?

Oh, that's... Her virginity. Reported to the gravel pit. Um, all right. I've got another one for you. Oh, by the way, here's one that you'll really like. The fifth definition is when you wrap your bare ass cheeks around someone's nose

preferably while they're sleeping and let a fart rip. That's our type of gravel pit. That sounds like the Segura. That's a jam. Okay. What about... Now, there's another song that I heard back in college where they were like,

it's time for the percolator. Yeah. It's time for the percolator. Yeah. It's time for the percolator. Do you know what the percolator is? Um, no. What is it?

Really? No. You're stumped? Do you know the song I'm talking about? I know. Of course I know the song you're talking about. Yeah. Okay.

Because I think this is what someone told me that the percolator is when a girl does a splits. Yeah. And then like kind of bobs up and down so that her vagina, quote, you know, like, suction's on the floor. Really?

And like makes it suctioning. That's the idea. That's what I heard the percolator is. I did not know that. Really? I subbed you one. No, it's time for the percolator. Yeah, of course.

Wow. Oh, that's the lore of it. I don't know if that's true. I don't know if that's... Yeah. Wow. All right. What about, um, what does it mean to make it clap?

Oh, everybody knows that shit. Did you not know what that was, really? I kind of know, but I don't want to pretend. You got to make the booty clap. Okay. Does he make it? The ass cheeks smack together. Yeah.

Yeah, make the booty. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah, yeah. That's, um, but that's like, I mean, not when you can kind of figure out, you know? Kind of. You have to see it, though, to believe it.

Yeah. Have you ever seen it? I can't make it clap. You can do it. Bullshit. You can make the booty clap. Okay. What about swag?

Oh, come on, man. You know, I've played high school football in South Florida, man. No, that's not possible. That's where swag was invented. In Florida? Yeah, of course. But what, like, I, I guess, is swag like... Swag just means, like, having is like, uh,

I mean, it's a combination of, like, style. Uh, people would say, like, cockiness. Okay. But somebody who has swag is like, he's got a little, he's got a little strut in his step, like, confidence that translates to, like, if you play, if you have swag in life, you know, like, you have, you have confidence.

You have a little, you have a little extra, you know, you got a little dip in your step. A little pep. Yeah. And then in sports, swag is like, you know, popping, you know, you pop your collar. Your stuff, because, like, I know Korea is Sean. You hold your dick, maybe after something, yeah.

But, because Korea is Sean, she talks about having swag. And I thought it... Yeah, it's like having, like, you know... Clothes, I thought more. No, it's like having, like, you know... That's like, I hold my dick, you know? That's what that is, man. Okay.

Swagger. Yeah. Yeah. I like this game, though. It's fun. Why is the Wu-Tang Clan nothing to fuck with? That is a great question. That is a great...

I mean, because you got to protect your neck, like they'll... You do. You got to protect your neck. Wu-Tang will fuck you up. You got to protect your neck. I mean, they roll deep. They roll really deep. Yeah.

The killer bees? Yeah. I mean, you know, here, this might help explain it to you. Okay. All right. You know, sometimes you just have to... Oh my God. This is all fucked up.

This, uh, that was not correct. That would sound like Brace. Where did it go? Brace philosophy. Oh, Brace. I can't wait for jiggalos. Wu-Tang is dangerous. Protect your neck, brother.

Who was that? You know who that was. That was your mama. That's my mom. She knows what's up. She loves Wu-Tang. Yeah, sure, man. She loves him.

She can't get enough of him. So that was... I figured you know those things. All right, yeah. Wait, wait, one last one. I did no percolator. Okay. What is good hair?

What is good hair? There's a movie called Good Hair. Well, what does it mean when somebody has good hair? My guessing. I'm assuming that that means when they have, like, that straight, like, you know, soft, like Indian hair. Gotcha. So, good hair means in black culture,

like the opposite of nappy hair. Okay. So it's kind of like, you know, it's kind of, you know, they have good hair. The girl has, like, straight, straight hair. There you go. That's what I thought it was. Did you look...

You can't play this game without giving me the answers. No, I did. And you're right. Good hair, it's from that Chris Rock documentary I watched. Well, I mean, yeah. And he refers to good hair being, like you said, like Indian hair. They have weaves and stuff.

Yeah, yeah. Or like, they use that chemical. Sure. To make straight, which looks terrible. That chemical burns the shit. Relaxer. Yeah, relaxer, man. That's fucking nuts, man.

That is nuts, man. I like complain about having to bleach my weave. I couldn't imagine putting, like, I mean, I do put chemicals in my hair too, but not like that. I wish you had a wig. So, that was fun. That was fun. I'm going to ask you some more later.

It is the last day of Black History Month. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. There you go. How do you want to celebrate? Look, I guess we're, this is a good way to celebrate. This is it, man.

We're going to watch parking wars later. Oh, that's it. What do you mean I got my condoms? I'll pay them tickets. What do you mean I paid my registration? We show that you owe $1100. Fuck that shit. That show is a bummer, dude,

because I could happen to any of those, and you're like, god damn it. There's a lot of aggression in that show. For sure. That's a shitty job to have. Yeah. Oh my god. There she goes again.

Where's our neighbor? I can't believe she's getting laid right now. She never tones it down. During her mom cast. Well, she does for a while. That's her thing. She goes away, and then she comes back. Did she get it?

She didn't let me fall asleep, man. I was miserable that day. You should have just rubbed one out. You didn't rub one out? No, I didn't. It didn't arouse you? No, it was too... Not because you know why?

Because there's already a built-in resentment. You don't like her at all. You dislike her more than I do. Right, so when you built-in resent, you don't find that enticing, or like it's not a hot thing. It's like fucking you little piece of shit. You can't hate fuck her.

No, well, I guess you could, but it wasn't... There's too much resentment there. I'm not a fan anymore. You guys are far. You're too far down that road. Yeah. No, I come out.

It's so theatrical. Yeah. Oh my god. All right, so... We're gonna wrap this up pretty soon. You want to do that, the last one? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Let's get into that, man. You had a really interesting point. Holy shit. This weekend, you were in Louisville. Yeah, so I was in Louisville, and my emcee, this guy named Jamie Utley, who was wonderful, very funny, very sweet. You know, white guy, I would say maybe early 40s

from the Midwest, super sweet, super fun. We were sitting down the first night after the first show, and he just casually mentions that he smoked crack for like 15 to 20 years, and I was like, what? So I immediately had to get out my recorder, and I recorded him telling me about the joys and the tribulations of smoking crack,

and I thought you guys might enjoy some of this audio, because I found it to be very, very... Yeah, so you're sitting down with him here in like the green room, and just to set out there is somebody else in the room too. Yeah, there's this guy named Echo. He's a comedian from Chicago, so you'll hear him kind of chime in in the background.

Right. But this is more about Jamie. Right, okay. That he had a crack problem for how many years, Jamie? Oh gosh, it's probably been 15, 20 years. 15, 20 years sober or...? No, no, no. 15, 20 years in and out of recovery, treatment.

I've been to like rehab like eight times. Hold on, move aside. I'm going to sit next to you so that I can get the story. So you've been in rehab how many times? Probably eight or so. And what's the best part of crack? What was it that brought you back to the crack? I like that you got right into it too.

Yeah. I like that a lot. Right to the point. Well, sorry, I mean, because we've been talking... Let me just tell the listeners that... We've been talking about this for a while. Man, your synapses fire and the dorp and something like that. Is it like cocaine?

It is cocaine. It is like... But when you snort cocaine... It's much more powerful and potent and... Just so people know, I'm aware that crack is cocaine in hard and form, but I meant... What I meant was, is it the same feeling as when you snort it? You're saying like...

What exactly? But yeah, I just... Yeah. Just sounded extra stupid. That's all. That's all right. I can see your thoughts. My dog thoughts?

I can see your thoughts. I can see your thoughts. All right, thank you. 01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:47,080 And like once you start... Once you start smoking crack, snorting coke will no longer do it for you. I know. And why...

But why is that? Because it won't be enough. It's a different type of high. It's like one from weed to fucking cocaine. It's a different type of high. It's that way with meth too. Once you start smoking or banging meth. What's banging?

Is that when you go? Is banging meth when you smoke it? Smoking or banging? I'm saying that I think he said banging as a way of saying smoking. Well, can I... Smoking meth is like super dangerous. I had friends in college who did that. It can freeze your lungs.

It's not good to take meth in the first place. Mad shout out to anyone out there banging meth, man. Big shout out. You can't go back to snorting it. It just won't do it for you. It's a bigger high. And so you were telling me that... Intense.

More intense. And you were telling me that to buy crack. Oh, I see. Yeah. Oh, I've smoked a chronic. And the best tonic is the chronic. Yeah. I had to say that because I guy kept interrupting.

And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. I got weed. Oh, I know what you mean. So this dude... This is like real shit though, man. Like he really... Yeah, it's so great.

Yeah, he really... But how many white people do you meet that are like hooked on the rock? I never met anybody that was hooked on the rock. That was white? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Well, I'm even black for that matter. Actually, when I worked in my first job in college,

well, I worked a job during the school year. But after the first year, I came back to Florida for the summer. And my buddy and I got jobs doing construction work in the summer in Florida. That's gotta suck. And we just like labor hands. Like you get like, I forget, it was like 10 or 15 bucks an hour, which sounded good to us. That's a fortune at that age, yeah.

And you have the... You can tolerate the horrible conditions of Florida summer's construction job, which were like, it was the apartment complexes. They didn't have any AC in them. And you'd just be in there painting and dragging shit around. It was fucking terrible. The worst was actually doing the tile floors in there. But anyways, you had other like labor hands.

And one of the guys, he looked like fucking shit. Like he looked terrible. He had like four teeth. And his eyes kind of looked wander in different directions. He just, he looked like shit. And there's a lot of weed smoked on that job, like just all the time, different breaks. And I was talking to him, he was like, yeah, you know, one day he tasted my drug choice crack.

And I was like, your drug choice is crack. And I had the same reaction as you. So I was 18. And he was like, yeah. And I go, what's it like? Same kind of shit. And he was like, ruined my life, lost my wife, my kids, all this shit, all everything to crack.

I was like, what? And he just went on and on about how like it was just too good. And you sell it, selling shit. He was selling like his baby stuff and everything just to get his hands on crack. Which I think the part that's alarming to me about crack is when you hear, like, I think if the scare is putting you early enough, that's where I guess some drug prevention shit can have an effect. Because when I heard, when I hear the word crack,

it's like such a red flag that I'm like, I don't want to fuck with that shit. Right. That I wonder, my thing is, how does this guy, how does the suggestion of it not make you go, no. Right, right, right. Because I could be fucked up right now, like fucked up. And if you're like, do you want crack? Hell no.

No. Well, I asked him. No. But I think guys like, I think people that are wired a certain way for addiction. Yeah. Because I was like, I asked him that question basically like, how does one move to crack? You know, you probably start on weed or meth or coke.

Something, yeah. Somebody along the way had to be like, hey, do you want to smoke this rock? Right. But how is your answer? Yes. I know, I know. But that's the one. I think your answer is yes, when you're so hardwired for addiction.

Yeah. That you're just like, I don't give a fuck. Like you don't, you bypass that whole societal system of like, don't do that. I mean, I don't even understand why people bang hookers. Honestly, like you can get so much shit from them, like AIDS and stuff. Yeah. Even herpes. Like, oh my gosh.

How you can, I mean, like getting one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like to me, the risk doesn't, it doesn't outweigh the pleasure of doing that action. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But people do it all the time, man. Do you hear crack though?

Yeah. I just associate crack with there's no, I associate with there's no upside. Like even if you just describe the high as being wonderful. Right. No, dude, no. The high, the high almost doesn't sound wonderful because I asked him to clarify it later. Well, here, let's get into the rest of this. Yeah.

He can't really describe it. You're like, what? Here's some more of this. Oh my God, that was retarded. What happened? We gotta go back. Hold on. That was my fault.

What happened? Here. Let's just play it again. I'll tell you later. So I've smelled crack and that is a very distinct odor. Oh yeah. I constantly like can smell some of the chemicals. I'm like, oh, that smells like crack in there.

Especially like, like, or even when I snored a cocaine, if I ever got a whiff of like, like ether or something, you know, you get that smell. Does it bring you back? This is, yeah, I'm about to relapse right now. So tell me about how do you find crack? If I want to go out right now in Louisville, Kentucky and buy crack, how would I do that? You would go to, you might have a little bit of difficulty. Why is that?

The way you look. Okay. You don't look like a prostitute. Okay. You're too clean. Yeah. I have aid scabs across your face. So quite honestly, you got to do it.

Unless you had the bilingual like, like me, you would probably even have more difficulty than me, I bet. So what would the right body language be to buy crack? Oh gosh. You know, I don't even know. It's kind of like, it's, it's, it's become second nature to me. You just got to know how to, how to hold yourself on the projects. Be a clean cut white guy and, and do the right thing in the projects.

Well, cause that's the thing is that you, who looks so, I would never have guessed in a million years, Jamie, that that was your background. Yeah. And, and so how do you, how do you know who's holding? Like, how do you know which guy is going to have the guts? Oh man, it's, it's, it's obvious for one thing. They're standing in a spot. Most of it's eye contact.

Most of it's eye contact, certain by language, what's up, you straight, what you got. I like that right there. Yeah. I like when he gets, he gets right into his project talk. He's like, what's up, you straight, I got. But he doesn't say he goes, what's up, you straight. Yeah, it's phenomenal. So good.

I mean, it just. So they say to you, they say to you, what's up? No, I would, I would probably say what's up. They'd say you straight. You straight. And that means, are you, are you good? I think so. I don't know.

Tom, you have to decode it. What do they say? Yeah. Well, you know, you straight mean like, he's basically saying like, do you need anything? Like you, it is, are you good? Like, cause if he's like straight means like, well, actually I'm looking for something right now. That would be like, you know, yeah. Why are you here, Whitey?

What are you doing? If you want to break that all the way down, it is, why are you here? But it is like also, you know, you good? You need anything. Yeah, you need anything. You need some rock? Leads to crack. Can you?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. That's so funny when he says the way. I don't know, but I know it leads to crack. I mean, it just. So they say to you, they say to you, what's up? No, I would, I would probably say what's up. They'd say you straight.

You straight. And that means, are you, are you good? I think so. I don't know, but I know it leads to crack. It's a, you know, I've been a crackulator for. It's, it's crackulation. No, no, it's. It's crack.

I love it. I don't know what it leads to crack. That's the quote of the evening. But it leads to crack. It leads to crack, man. No, I mean, we've been a crackulator for many years. You just, you just know how to do it. I mean, I could go to any city in the country, maybe even in the world,

and I could find it that day. That way he said that, like, almost like a point of pride. Like you, you put me on any street in America. Fuck it, the world. I'm bringing you crack. He's the crack hunter. It's like a reality show where we just put Jamie Utley in the middle of America. And tell him to find a rock.

It is fascinating to hear this. That's amazing. It is a time. Yeah, I'm not the crack whisperer. And then so I, so you get the crack. Let's say you get it. And how much is crack right now? Okay, well, I mean, I would usually start,

since it's somebody off the street, you get ripped off a lot. I would not go over $20 the first time. And that's really important, I think, for our listeners too, that if you're thinking about trying crack, I don't want you to take more than 20 bucks out there because you could get ripped off, you know? You could. Last week, we advised you to wipe your ass with bleach wipes.

Yeah. 409 wipes. And today's episode is how to buy crack properly. A lot of people sent us pictures of Clorox wipes and Windex wipes and everything. And, you know, if you're trying it, please send us a picture. Let us know how it worked out for you. And don't forget, from this episode,

take that if you're going to try crack, don't take more than 20 bucks the first time. Yeah. And that will get you what, one rock? Yeah, one rock. It'd be about two or three hits. And how long does that last you? About 10 minutes.

That doesn't sound like a shitty thing. Now you understand why people spend all their money on, because you smoke weed. Like if you were to buy, you know, whatever, you could buy $20 worth of weed. Yeah, man. You could buy, let's say, an eighth or something, and you spend $60, $70 on some better stuff or whatever, right?

And then depending on, I mean, you don't need to, you can smoke that and you're not going to be high for 10 minutes. No, it's a while. Yeah. I mean, it depends on how, obviously, how high you want to be for how long, but that should last you a little while, man. It should last you a good stretch.

Not like 10 minutes. That's the worst part about crack. Is it the high? Yeah, it's 10 minutes. And I used to think that crack only cost like five bucks a rock. That's why it was so popular, because it was cocaine, but in a rock form, and it was dirt cheap,

but I guess that's changed now. Unbelievable. What a waste. Wow. That is a powerful 10 minutes. Oh yeah, that's a powerful 10 minutes. And what happens when you, so what happens? You get the rock from a dealer,

and then where do you go to smoke? Well, it depends. Like, for instance, if, say I was to go to projects tonight, they go, what's up, you straight? I got you, I go, I got to have a spot. A spot? They go, come on, we'll take you to a spot. And you got break off the house from what you buy.

You got break off the house. Break off the house means? Give whoever lives in the spot, whoever's the person that lives there, you got to give them something. That's how a crack house works. That's fucked up. So you spent 20 bucks on a rock that has maybe two or three hits,

and then you got to give like... I forgot to tell you that my favorite part of this whole thing is you being like, that's fucked up. I'm mad. Yeah, you're like, that's your crack. Why do you have to share with somebody? That's not fair. Because it's not a lot, like 20 bucks a rock

and then you have to give it to, it's messed up, dude. That's really, really fucking funny, man. Really funny. All right, hold on. Eric, yeah, you got to share with the house. But doesn't that fuck, doesn't that make you mad? Well, it's just the way it is. If you got to have a spot, you got to have a spot.

So you... And that's a very philosophical view of shit, right? You got to have a spot, you got to have a spot. You got to deal with giving away some of your crack. You can't just keep all the crack to yourself. Well, because when I was thinking about it, too, it was like, where can you smoke crack? I mean, if you...

Not a lot of places. Most places have no smoking signs, and that also applies to crack. But if you and I were to get some crack, we could take it back to our house. To smoke crack here, for sure. But we have a house. And actually, if you're listening and you want to smoke crack,

you can come over here to smoke some crack. But poor Jamie, maybe at that point in his life, he didn't even have a house. No, the other thing is, too, is that you don't... Probably when you really want your crack and you get it, you don't go like, well, just wait till I get home now. That's true. That's like when you...

You want to smoke right then. When you go through a Taco Bell drive-through, and you're like, ah, I'm going to eat these right now. That's how I feel, yeah. Yeah, you can't really hold on to that. You can't wait. Yeah. That's why you and I eat in the car so much.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. You eat that burrito in the car when you're sitting there. Wait, wait. So then you smoke... You take one puff and then you pass. But now you'd have to break off before they'd even let you smoke you,

or you'd have to... Puff, puff, puff, crack. That's what I thought it was. I didn't know. I thought it was puff. I thought it was like pot. Break off the house. Wow.

And so did you like hanging out with those people? I had no choice. It's like I was so captive, man. It's weird. It's weird. And usually I'm like the only white guy and a bunch of scurry, but scary black people. And so, yeah.

And do they talk shit? For the record, his buddy Echo right there is black. The Echo from Chicago. He's just... But that is an honest tag like, scary black people in the projects. He's a really innocent looking. He is very innocent looking.

Yeah. You, because you were the only white guy? Yeah, pretty much. What do they say to you? Oh, they always saw you a cop. Oh, for sure, yeah. And then the house, while they broke off, would go,

he's all right, he's all right. Because once they see you doing it, then you're cool. Right, they know you're legit. They're still dangerous. It's very dangerous. What are the dangers? They won't rob you and they think that

because you're clean-cutting white, you must have some money. If you don't have money, you can go get money because you're clean-cutting white. You got more money to give. Oh, for sure. And so, how much cash would you come

carrying into the projects? Oh, my gosh. However much money I had, but I would keep it in different spots. Like, I'd keep some in one shoe, some in the other shoe, some in each pocket. I mean, I'd divide it up.

So, they'd only see me pulling out small amounts at any one time from one spot. Really good point. That's really smart. Yeah, that's what you tell them right here. That's really smart. Whoa. Whoa.

You said the exact same thing. It's like I know what I'm going to say. So wild, dude. Yeah, that's a wild interview, huh? Yeah, I mean. Nicest guy, funny guy. That's brilliant. Well, the whole thing's really stupid, but...

Well, I mean, smart meaning like, I'm not to get robbed because I would call out... That's the right way to kill yourself. Yeah, I would get robbed. I would get robbed instantly if I tried to buy a crack and smoke it. They would murder me in two seconds.

Oh, yeah. I'm not that bright when it comes to that stuff. Don't, man. Is this easy? NWA, yeah. Yeah. Were we just talking about easy? Yeah, because you thought he...

Oh, we had a dispute about when he died. Remember, he said he died in 88. Or 89. I felt like he died early. I guess 94. And he was actually died 95. Did Easy smoke the rock? No.

Uh-uh. Fuck no. He just aids. He smoked aids. Oh, man. Yeah. He fucked a lot of pussy. He did.

Yeah, he had like seven kids. Hey, kid. And he was definitely of the no... Keep it raw. Like, there's definitely no protection on anything. Oh, you think? You don't think Easy insisted on using rubbers? Come on.

We don't know where the... I don't know where you've been. No. He was just like, I'm getting in that gravel pit. He did get in that gravel pit. He smoked a lot of weed. He was known for his weed smoking. And just keeping it gangster in general.

For sure. All right, we got to wrap this up, man. All right. That was a really... That was fun, guys. Amazing episode. We enjoyed you being here. Thank you for coming, Mommy, to our house.

Please subscribe. Go to yourmomshousepodcast.com. You need to possibly get a Super Mommy pack? Is that something that you are interested in? Instead of smoking the rocks, get a Mommy pack. Oh, get a Super Mommy pack. When you feel like smoking crack, just get a Super Mommy pack. Maybe this will convince you.

I'm gonna fuck your mom. Listen up, little mommies. The Super Mommy pack is here. Is it such a shock that your mother wants to fuck? The Super Mommy pack. What all the mommies are talking about. Oh, shoot. Go to tomsundura.com, click on store, and get your mommy on.

My body is the Rock and Roll Temple. And my flesh, blood, and body fluids are a communion to the people. The Super Mommy pack includes Tom's album Thrill. Grandmother fuckers. Christina's album, it's hard being a person. Fuck off. The pilot DVD of Cut Man. You can charge that to the band.

And an 11 by 17 Glamour Shots poster of Christina. Well, the news has... Go to tomsundura.com, and click on store, and do what a mommie would do. Spread his asshole. Give me my soul. I'll fuck you up. Wow. That Gigi Allen clip makes me laugh every time.

That is fucking funny, man. My body is the Rock and Roll Temple. So, you know, it says tomsundura.com. It is there. You can also go to your mom's house, podcast.com. Thank you, guys. Thank you, mommy. For joining us.

We love you. We love you, mommy. We'll talk to you soon. Yes. Come see us. Fucking camp. We'll see you out there. Okay.

Bye, mommy. Bye, everybody. Yo, what the fuck you got to say for yourself? You