Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Collector Or Hoarder? w/ Joe DeRosa | Your Mom's House Ep. 861

Episode Date: May 27, 2026

Bad Thoughts Season 2 is now streaming on Netflix! Christina P is back touring! Check her out in Brea California on June 5th & 6th. Get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates Check out Joe DeRosa's new podcast Vile and Horrendous Pull up a chair and listen to what Joe does best: piss and moan! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWvLI8xCAa0 Check out Tom's new bakery, Ciccio Bomba, at the new third location at 1100 South Lamar Blvd in Austin, right across from the Alamo Drafthouse. SPONSORS: - If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/YMH - You can get $5 off your next order, including the Protein Pastries, at https://MagicSpoon.com/YMH - Head to https://quince.com/mom for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. - Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code YMH. Sup chomos! This week on Your Mamas Place, Tina is out doing some broad shit, so is Tom Segura is joined by comedian Joe DeRosa for a wide-ranging conversation that starts with ranking comedy's biggest peer pressure artists, from Rogan's blunt "don't be a bitch" to Chappelle's devastating silent look that you simply cannot say no to. They flip it around and dig into the opposite problem: friends who commit to a full night out and then bail halfway through dinner (you know who you are, Chrissy). Joe also opens up about the very real injustice of being perpetually single in a world that gives parents an automatic excuse for everything, then shares the best piece of comedy advice he ever received, straight from Patton Oswalt, about why every great joke needs a "moment of discovery." The guys get candid about their wildly different relationships with alcohol, including a truly unhinged Burt Kreischer story from Tallahassee. Then it's clip time featuring a cool collector with an encyclopedic knowledge of cheap plastic lawn chairs, a fully-committed DIY tooth extraction, a pizza shop owner fighting invisible gender discrimination, and a white woman reading some hilarious Instagram insults about her dumb sun outfit. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 861 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:36 - Peer Pressure 00:08:41 - I Can't, I Have Kids 00:15:00 - Patton Oswalt's Game-Changing Comedy Advice 00:19:04 - Saying Yes Is Worth It 00:23:02 - Drinking Confessions & The Tallahassee Terror 00:34:59 - Blood Work & Risk Philosophy 00:44:03 - Opening Clip: Sandra Bullock Threatened Me 00:46:19 - Ciccio Bomba 00:48:48 - Really Cool Collectors 00:58:31 - Heavy Metal Tooth Extraction 01:00:51 - Pizza Broad 01:04:29 - White Lady Reads Mean Comments 01:09:23 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:15:57 - Final Thoughts & Plugs 01:17:06 - Closing Song - "Ice Latte" by Craftmatics Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your mother is doing stand-up in Brea, California, June 5th, and 6th, Chicago, Illinois, September 18th, and 19th. Get your tickets at ChristinaP.com. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. We hang out with some real dickheads. Yeah, man. Turns out. Turns out our friends are assholes.

You seem like. You seem like. the least peer-pressuresome person in comedy possibly that I know. I think you're pretty accurate. I know. We were, off air, we were talking about how peer-pressure-some

what dickheads are, friends are. It's just, it's all they are. Yeah. So, so Bert, Tony Hinchcliff, who else is another? Is it Shane? Shane and Dave. Dave. Both Dave.

Chappelle and a tell. Yeah. All very peer-pressuresome. Different ways of doing it. Everyone has their own style. Yeah. And I'm guilty of it. I do it too.

I'm very much like, come on, man. Where are you going? I'm less like that. I would tell you that if I really need you. Do you know what I mean? Like if I need you? Do you feel that you would ever need me? I think, what if I was in a situation where I was like, I'm, dude, please.

Like, I would only ask you in a genuine way, not like, come on, man, if I can, I would think with all you've achieved and where you're at, you'd have to fuck up pretty bad if you find yourself in a position where I'm the guy you need. It could very well happen. Joe does it. Joe's a peer pressure guy too. Oh, Rogan.

For sure. Yeah. I have been like, I'm turning in. He's like, pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what? It'll be a bitch. Come on, man.

Come on. Yeah. Rogan, here, yeah, you're right. They all have different styles. Rogans will be like, what do you do it, man? You're going to do X, Y, Z? No, I'm going to go home.

That's because you're a pussy. Yeah, you know, it's real like just dart. Yeah, straight to it. Tony's like, Tony's very like, oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm sure you got to go home and work on your fucking taxes, you fucking dork, you know what I mean? Yep. You've got to twist something in there. Yeah.

Bert and Shane are very much like, come on, for the boys. For the boys. You don't do this for the boys. They're like, come on, hang. Why are you going to go? Bert's like, why are you going to turn in now? Yeah. Like, don't you have like a buzz that feels good?

Don't you want to carry that through the night? And you're like, he's like painting a picture of how much fun it is. Shane does it in a way where it's like, it's almost like you feel like a veteran leaving there. He makes you feel like you're letting down the men that died. Chappelle's is like, I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm asking you. You know what I mean? Like I've been at parties where I'm going. He's like, it'd be great if you stayed.

And then he just looks at you and you're like, well, uh, you know, Yeah. Sure. When Chappelle does this, when Chappelle does the to the side. Come on. Yeah. Come on, man. Come on.

Hang out, man. Yeah, don't do this to me, man. Yeah, and you're like, I will. Yeah. I'm trying to think of some other words. And we said, Attel mocks you. And it's so funny. Yes.

And it's him. And then you're like, like, it actually, of all those tactics, it's the one that actually gets to me the most. A, because it's him and B, because he's actually making me laugh as he does it. Yeah. No, yeah, we were saying, yeah, tell him to like, wait, what was the story you talked? Well, yeah, I was like, I was at the mothership and he was in town and I hopped on the, like, the early show. He's like, you're doing the, you're doing the late? I was like, no, I can't because tomorrow I got a, I got to get up and I got a, he's like, do you have a big morning?

And I was like, what? He's like, got a big morning tomorrow? And I go, yeah, he goes, aw. I was like, yeah, it's a pretty big morning. He's like, got a lot of things to do tomorrow morning when you wake up early. It's like, mm-hmm. It was like so funny. Yeah, it was straight mockery. That's so funny. Yeah, I was telling you the one he's done to me is he'll ask if you're hanging and

then you say no. And then you're explaining why you can't hang and all through the explanation, he's just going, mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And you're like, come on, dude. Please stop, man. Please stop. Come on, dude. I'm trying to think of other classic. I think we named the big ones.

Yeah. All the classic. Surprisingly, none of the women seem to do it. They all seem to be nurturing and understanding. Yeah, they're not assholes. It's all the dick. It's all guys. It's all guys.

And I'm not letting myself off the hook. I'm real bad with it. I think the reason that I'm not as bad with it, though, is that I so understand someone's desire for sleep. Like, I get it so much that when someone's like, I want to go to bed, I'm always like, I get it. Yeah, sure, man. Yeah, and then, well, as a parent, I would think.

Yeah, of course. You start thinking about, you get it. You're like, do you have to go to bed? I totally get that. See, now here's the thing. Then there's the opposite of what we're talking about. There's the guy that says, that gives you full commitment, and then it's just bales.

Oh, right. Yes. This is the opposite. That's the opposite. I'll tell you who the king of it is. Tell me. One, Chris, pig de Stefano. Oh, Chris and pigs.

Gay Chris. Oh, gay Chris. Yeah. All day, gay. Yeah. He is the worst. Chris will be like, definitely, dude.

So then we'll go get dinner and then we'll go out. We'll get drinks after, whatever. And then, like, he literally will just be like, that's a tactic, dude. That's a strategy. A thousand percent. Crazy.

It's a strategy. Crazy. Crazy. halfway through dinner. I got to go. He's not. Jazz is calling me. I'm like, dude, what the fuck?

We planned a night, man. He planned that on purpose. Oh, yeah. To not deal with the confrontation of like, I can't do it. So he's like, I'll just plan the night. And just bail. And then he told me, he said kids are the best excuse ever to just bail. It's the truth.

And then he just says my kids. Yeah. And I'm like, you've already explained to me that this is your lie. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, no, not to you. Now, I do give people a hard time. I've given you a hard time.

See, I have to be honest, too. I've given you a hard time about early stuff. And this is also a parent thing. Like, if I'm like, come to this thing 10 a.m. When someone's like, come to me. Oh, the 5K. But I'm saying anytime something's in the morning, I'll give someone a hard time about the morning,

only because I have kids. We've discovered this is interesting. We're discovering the opposites of peer pressure. It's a different type of peer pressure. That is one. Because you did. You gave me, I felt like guilty. I know, dude.

And I was, it really, you know what the truth is? Like the root of it is like, hey, I get up early all the time. You motherfuckers can get up early too. That's really what's going on. Yes. That's all it is. And it is, I'm doing the wrong thing there. I admit it.

Yeah, no, you, you. I gave you a hard time. I wouldn't say it was a hard time, but it was pressure. It was pressure. Yeah. It was pressure. Ryan Hall was the worst. He gave you.

A real hard time. It was crazy. It was crazy. That laugh was so deep from any. Ryan Hall, the, what is this? President of YMH. Yeah. Literally, that's not a fake title.

No, it's real. Yeah, it's real. Yeah, the president. Sounds funny to call somebody president. I know, he's president. But no, the president of YMH, Ryan Hall, who, I've known for 10 years at least. the worst at making plans.

Is he the worst? The worst. How so? Oh, he'll be like, next week, let's go. Then he's always like, buddy, you know, I've got an ice cream event in Washington, D.C. For Tom, like, he's always got a thing he's got to go do somewhere. Presidents are busy, man. You were looking at a president's schedule?

They're busy. But prior to you. Yeah. Prior to you, you always had a thing. He has to go. He's got a whiteboard somewhere. He's got to draw on. So the amount of pressure he was giving me, I was like, bro, come on, dog.

Dude, I can't stop thinking about what you said about Chris, though, because it is the greatest thing when you have kids for anything, for anything. You can always just be like, my kid, man. You don't even have to explain it. You're like, you know, I have a kid, and people go, I get it. Yeah. I find it to be a very unfair thing. Hold on, manipulation.

Could I have a tissue? My allergies are going crazy right now. Thank you. It's the craziest thing. And I find it to be very unfair that people with kids were married people. They get these passes that, because I'm sort of perpetually single. I've had some girlfriends, but I'm a lifelong bachelor basically. I said this to my parents have been gilting me.

about I haven't visited in a minute. Yeah. And I was like, well, I just saw you guys a bunch in December when I was home for the holidays. Yeah. I said, you know, and then the winter, I'm on the road. It's very busy. And I said, that's finally slowing down. So I can, I'll figure out a time to visit.

Yeah. And thanks, buddy. And, you know, I was talking to a friend of mine with a family. And he was like, yeah, I see my folks like twice a year. Right. Right. But my parents are like, when are we going to? see what it was and I finally said to them I go if I had a family with kids or whatever you would

just be like he'll visit when he can totally he's tending to his life a thousand percent I go I don't understand why you think that doesn't in any way applied to me I know it's not the same but it doesn't in any way apply to me I think you're dead on I think you're totally yeah I'm just because I'm single doesn't mean I don't have a life they're like well it's not that important yeah yeah that's the thing, right? Yeah. So, and then like I would get into this, this thing sometimes with married friends of mine where like I would date a girl or hook up with a girl or something.

And they would just be very loose-lipped about their thoughts on her. Oh, right. And you're like, hey. Yeah. And I'd be like, hey, dude, do you want to hear what I really think about your wife? You know? And they'd be like, that's fucked up, dude. I'm like, no, no, don't fucking.

comment on my life if you don't want me to comment on your own. And they don't know what that's going to turn into either. Exactly. When they comment on it, they don't know where it's going. Exactly. And then the kid thing obviously is like you can, you're, there's zero expectations. Being a parent is like being an addict. You're like, nobody's expecting anything out of you.

Yeah, yeah. It's true. Just lay over there. It's true. It's totally true. Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy, Malcolm X, and now dog piss. as the stage. All hell dog piss.

Guess what? Violin horrendous, a show where I do, I guess what I do best, which is complaining way too much about shit that's not that important. I think all YouTubers should be jailed. An army of drunken screaming Santa Claus's. The devil stick guy was the doctor. Shut the fuck.

Come along for this beautiful, disgusting, violent, horrendous journey. My new YMH show. Subscribe, smash that like button. We're gonna be doing this every other other week, this is vile and horrendous. Have you ever had a thought that's so out of left field and no matter what you do to distract or logic your way out of it, it just keeps coming back.

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hook of what you do. Yeah. I mean, giving opinions is a nice way to put it. Well, everything bothers me and I complain about everything. That's perfect, though. Yeah. And somebody actually was telling me, because you know, you get asked a lot of times when you do press, they're like, what's the whole thing about, like, how does somebody

do stand up? I'm like, well, my go-to thought on it is always that indifference isn't funny. Right. Right? Like, you have to have an opinion to be funny. You can love something, or hate something. Like, if I go, this coffee is fine, there's nothing funny. If it's the worst thing I've ever had or the best thing I've ever had, you can make that funny.

No, you're exactly right. And then there's like this twist on that, what you're saying. It's some of the best comedy advice I ever got. And I don't always follow it, but when I do, I find it works very well. But Pat and Oswald said to me once, I used to open for him. and I said, I told him an idea I had for a bit. And it was,

it was during the time that all those love reality shows were out were all the musicians, Brett Michaels and Flavor Flav. Yeah. And I gave him my opinion, I go, I want to do a bit about how I hate these shows

and the women are so gross on them. And these guys, I used to look up to them and I'm so disappointed to see them hosting, you know, whatever. And he was like, I still love, flavor,

by the way. But anyway, he said, he goes, yeah, but you're just saying what you think. And I was like,

yeah. And he goes, where, there should be a twist. He goes, I always try to have a moment of discovery in my joke.

I thought this, I felt this, but then I realized this. He's like, so if I did that joke, I would say, I hate these shows. I thought I hated these shows

because they put all these awful women on showcase and whatever. And he goes, but then I realized they're great because now I know where the awful women are being kept so I can avoid them. That's great advice.

Yeah, and I was like, holy shit. And so that takes what you're saying to even, right? Yeah, totally. Where it's like, it's like, I thought I loved it, but I hate it. Well, what it makes, I hated it, but I love it. What it makes me think of immediately when you say that is how when you look back on your like discography of like, you know, like of writing things.

Yeah. You look back and you go, oh, I did that naturally, like organically, these times. Yeah. And those are the better bits. Those are the bits that you go like, oh, there was something revealed. It wasn't just an opinion. Yeah.

And I've managed to do it a few times. And I always felt like, wow, that's, that really is whatever. But I also still do bits too where, like you said, love or hate. Yeah. You know. Strong opinions. You need, at the basis of it all, you have to have an opinion. Yeah. You have to have a feeling one way or another about something. You can't be indifferent.

Sometimes I used to get very loud. And in recent years, I've learned how to kind of express it without the volume all the time, which again, I don't always succeed in. Like, we're doing the viola... Violet horrendous. Podcast here. Yeah. First episode, I watched it, and I was like, I was louder than I needed to be. You know, so I still fall into that rut sometimes. But, but I'm... Or maybe more frequently than I think. But my favorite place to be in is being able to express a sort of harsh opinion calmly. Yeah.

I like that dynamic, you know, which just kind of like. And then get way, way worked up about something very benign. That's also very funny. You know? Yeah. It's like I'm screaming about the ride chair guy, but I'm calmly talking about. Minneapolis you know what I mean like so I think those are nice yeah those are great man being or whatever yeah the the complaining is is I think an art form it's an art form

well it's it's I I've I've I always felt like it was a burden and a curse I was it's it's funny because I've always been like that I've always been a very complaining guy I've never been glass half full I am a why guy I'm not a why not guy When it comes to a party, I will be. I will be the guy going, why are you going home, man? Yeah, yeah. Come on, why not? We're here.

We're here. Tomorrow's somebody else's problem. You have a big morning? Yeah. But outside of that, it's like, yeah, I'm very like, you know, if somebody called, you know, you want to go parasailing? What? No.

Why? When to go to this museum? I don't know. What kind of art is it? You know? Yeah. I mean, there's nothing. better than saying no to going out.

That is the best feeling. It is the best, but don't you find that when you reluctantly say yes and end up going, you're like, oh, I'm glad I did this. Yes. Right? Right? Yes. But that never sticks in my head. I think that's, that's,

it's supposed to be that way. Right. But why can't we hold on to that feeling? It's like it's resistance. It's like that natural, it's like it's easier to not write the thing. It's easier to, it's easier to say no. Right. It's easier to say no to a lot of things that require even a kernel of effort. Okay.

So I think it, no matter what it is, if I'm like, you know, do you want to go to the gym? Like, you know, the natural thing is like, no, I'd rather just lay here. Right. But if you go, you feel better. If you want to like stay home or like go socialize, you're like, I don't want to get dressed and go out, but then you go and you see people and you feel better. It's just we're built that way.

I find, yeah, it's weird. It's one of the two feelings that I can never hang on to that I wish I could. About like saying yes. See, aren't you glad you went? Yeah. My friend, my friend Kyle, he texted me on Saturday. And he's like, dude, let's, you know,

he's done well for himself. and he and one of his amenities is he has a boat and he was like he's like come on dude let's go boat and i'd never gone out on it with him and i was like i got shows i can't he's like what time are your shows i go nine is my first one he goes i will have you dropped at a dock at seven you can get home you can get now i'm like come on man i got to get dressed twice today i know talking about you know yeah And I just was like, no. And then everybody in the group started calling and going, come on, dude, what are you doing?

And I went. And 30 minutes into it, I'm like, thank God I did this. And my friends are pointing out beauty. Yeah. We're riding down the lake. They're pointing out historical things. Do you hear? Yeah.

Yeah, we're in Lake Austin. Yeah. putting out historical things and like that bridge is and like this is where this battle happened and shit like that you know and we're seeing these beautiful houses and we're seeing families with their kids on rafts and it's just joyous and then we're riding a raft and we're getting we're in the lake and whatever and I went and did my shows

and I had one of the best shows I've ever had in my fucking life man because I was so charged with positivity yeah and my body was so real yeah that shit is real I'll forget it by tomorrow if he calls me he could call me right now and say let's call the boat today and I'd be like come on boat yeah it's all rocky and shit yeah yeah sun's out I can't hang on to it I can't hang on to it it's it's and then the other one is hangover I can never remember how bad a hangover is yeah ever Ever. Yeah.

I've had 8,000 hango. How often do you tie one on now? Oh, boy. Boy. I have heavier weeks than others. Weeks. Well, I can hear it in my voice. I know I've been having a little too much fun lately

because I've been smoking too much. When I drink, I smoke. And I can hear the... What's your drink of choice? Jack Daniel. Okay. Across the board with club soda, with Diet Coke. How many will you tip back on a, like a night where you're really having fun?

This is embarrassing. It's all right. This is embarrassing. We're adults. I know, but we're two different kind of adults. It's fine. All right? You're living an appropriate life and I'm out here like fucking fast times at Ridgemont

High. I'm 48 years old. I got to know. This is the saddest thing. Not sad. Sorry, I don't want to make it dark. I saw my friend Nick on Sunday And he goes, what did you do last night?

And I go, I did a couple spots at Mothership And then I just hung out for a little while at Mitzies And I go, you want to hear the sad thing, Nick? He goes, what, I go, I thought I took it easy Because I was like, all I did was have seven drinks at Mitzies And then I went home But I was like, I sat in one place. That means I took it easy.

You took it easy. I have, oh boy, are they going to sound off on those comments? After all the shit I talked about weed, the, they, I know what's coming for me right now. But I can put quite a few back. So on a, on a slow, on a slow night, none. Right. You know, I have plenty of nights where I just go,

I'm not drinking at all. Yeah. And then I'll, you know, I'll have to bar my doors and everything. you know, so I can't escape from the house. What's up? Are you in Austin? Are you visiting Austin? Do you live in Austin? Well, I welcome you to please come check out Chicho Bomba. That is the Italian bakery that I have opened in Austin. We are now at three locations. We're at the fairground food hall underneath the Wells Fargo building downtown. We are in the lobby of the Scarborough Building. And we have our all-new

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And we thank Bluechoo for sponsoring the podcast. But no, on a slow night, none. There are nights once in a while where I might have one or two, like if it's like a dinner. Yeah, sure. Go home or something. And then I have what I would call

the moderate drinking nights. Seven. Seven, five, four. On a big night, though, like I can, I can, I'll pass 10 on a big night. Yeah. I'll easily pass 10.

You know, I don't know, for better or for worse. Hey, man. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, like, I just, you know, my tolerance now is so low. It's so low. Yeah, what do you talk? I can't remember the last time I even saw you with a, like, I've seen you drink

osos in like promos and shit. Yeah, I mean, if I have, if I go out, So I mean not that I But I also don't see you out a lot Yeah yeah yeah but I'm saying if I go out and you're like have a drink I literally would take that literally

And have a drink Right If we're hanging out for a while I'll have a couple Right I already know like I know For where I'm at That my third one

Is the one that I either have to stop on Or problems are coming Okay when you say problems what do you mean do you get bad no i just know that like a that if i have three i'm gonna have four okay and i already know that my buzz is going to just continue and i probably will just i'm just gonna not remember the night so i just so you'll black out like after five no i won't black out after five but i'm saying is that i just feel like i always stop myself okay when i have two and three because I just always, you know, you go like, I wish I could remember.

Yeah. I remember too much. Okay. So I go, I know I'm going to feel like shit. I know I'm not going to sleep well. I know tomorrow's going to suck. I know it's going to take me two days to fully recover and feel well. I just have that so loud in my head that I always stop.

Yeah. I just always stop. Yeah, I wish I had that, man. You know what's so funny, I just, like a wash of relief just came over me. Yeah. Because as I was telling you what I drank, I was like a little embarrassed. And I was like, Tom doesn't drink like this. Oh, God.

I wonder if he's judging me. And then I was like, wait a minute. He hangs out with Bert. Yeah. Do you know what he had when we went to Tallahassee? What? He had 20 doubles. That's a lot.

And we were at dinner. Wait, he had that before dinner? Before dinner. Oh, I thought you meant throughout the entire night. No, no, no, no. Yeah, it was from morning to, like, evening. Okay. He had about 40 drinks, right?

Okay. And... Jesus Christ. And at dinner... What, he's such a great barometer. I'm like, I'm fine. I don't have a problem. He was like...

Hey! Like, and we were like, oh, my God. He was like, we're in a private room to the... And the way he's telling the story. He's like, could you fucking step out? I'm telling a story. I was like, sure. And then he ordered the most insane, most insane.

He ordered 10 appetizers. He was like, I want everybody to fucking do. Okay. And then he ordered himself three dinners, right? And I was like, give him three dinners? He was like, well, everybody could pick up this one. He just ate them all. He ate them all.

It was insane. And he's still, I can't say he kept it together because he was definitely not keeping it together. Right. But he's standing, you know? Like, he's standing and still holding court. and like, and the next day, I'm like, the next day,

we're up at the same time, and I'm like, how are you doing? He was like, I think I had on, it was a lot yesterday. Yeah, but like, you're okay right now? He's like, I'll probably take a nap today. I'm like, holy shit. What?

I'd be in the hospital, bro. When he, what was he doing when he, that he drank 20 doubles? Where were you at during the day? We were in Tallahassee. We went to the tailgate and the football game and after the game.

So it was a day, it was an off day of like socializing. and fun. We were at a bar. We were inappropriate places. But his tolerance is also just, he's, he would do something like that and then in the morning be like, we'll go for a run. And you're like, what? Like he's... See, I, I don't have that side of me.

He definitely, he'll be on time. That's, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah. I won't miss, I'm very good about like, if I know I have, like, if I have to be, like, Obligations. We were in here, kind of early, but I was like,

if I'm going to be there at 10.30 a.m. I have to leave my house by 10. I got to get up at 8.45 or 9. I can't, like, fuck around. Right. So I was like, I don't want to wake up and feel like shit and then not have a good time with Tom.

So, yeah, you think about it. So I was like, I'm not, that's it. Nothing is happening tomorrow or Monday night. But then, I, if I, here's my problem. if I know I have a free day yesterday I knew I had a free day Sunday was hanging with some buddies

we're having dinner we were like hey let's just you know we could go out and then I'm just like fuck it I have nothing I have to do tomorrow so I can burn the day feeling like shit I do that more frequently than I would like to I've burnt my days off

more frequently than I would like to admit with like dealing with the repercussions of my night before. Yeah. That's not to say I've never had a big night and then still unproductive. But if I know I'm free and clear, forget it. You know, I'll go hog wild. I have, I was thinking about it. I think I have, maybe at this point, you're going to laugh at this,

maybe once a year I have too much now. Well, I mean, you're probably going to feel much better in your 70s than I. I will. Or, I don't know, man. Or I'll die at 62 and we'll be like, what the fuck did you do that for? Yeah, I know. I used to have a joke about that. I used to have a joke about, or I just don't want to die with regret. Yeah. And I said, I don't mean that the way you think, I mean it. I don't want to be lying in a gutter after getting hit by a bus going, why the fuck did I quit smoking? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, it's, that's my biggest fear. I remember my history teacher in junior. year at high school, Mr. Stein. And he was, he had this great, like, stoic, dry face, great voice. And he would sometimes, he's one of those guys who would, like, not really do class most the time. He would just talk. They were the best. Yeah. And Mr. Stein was like, I love smoking. I loved it. I miss it. If I get a terminal disease, the first thing I'll do is light up a cigarette. We were like just in high school being like, what? We didn't know what he was like, you know, he was like, you don't understand how much I miss it. He would just talk about that in class.

He just died last week. How old was he? He had to have been, God, he had to have been well into his 70s, I think. Did you find out what he died from? I did not. I don't know what he died from. I will find out, but I hope he died with a cigarette, you know. Yeah, you got to find out if what, if that happened.

remember him just he would do that speech all the time i also remember because there's always this debate about you know how you should live your life and you know and especially now everyone's biohacking and all this shit but then you go so much of this is in your genetic cards you know yeah like i remember a girl i dated her grandfather died at 96 he drank beer uh whiskey ate red meat love ice cream smoke cigarettes and cigars. This is like a daily thing for him. He's 96. He did all the things they're like,

you shouldn't do that. Yeah. But why did he lived in 96? Like, he just had the jeans for it. Dude, I, uh, so I do waste a well. You do, I think you do. Yeah, right?

Yeah. They're great. Shout out to Brigham. Yeah. Brigham, what up? Denise, what's that? Denise, what up? Denise, what up? The dogs?

I did my... I went to Key West, Q from Impractical Jokers, Brian Quinn. He does a festival every year called Q. West. It's insane. It's a fucking party. It's three, four days nonstop. Your one obligation is to do one 20-minute set of stand-up.

You're like, great. Everything else, he's like, you want to come judge the belly flop contest? Like, yeah, let's go get hammered. Judge the belly flop content. It's the most fun. I was, I was somewhere leading up to that

and then I went right to Q West. I can't remember what the first thing was. But dude, I was on one. It was day after day, after day, after day. It was non-fucking stop. And I got back on a Monday. I landed at like 9 p.m. And I was like, I should probably just go home and go to bed.

They're probably hanging after Kill Tony. Fuck it. So then I go to the mothership. Just fucking tear it up again. Jesus. I go to bed. I wake up on Tuesday at 2 p.m. And I'm sorry, I wake up at 12 p.m.

And then I look at my clock and I'm like, okay, it's 12 p.m. And I'm doing the math and I'm like, I fasted. Okay, I got to get my six-month blood work done. I haven't eaten anything. Fuck it. And I just went and did my blood work. That day. That day.

for my six-month checkup because I was like, well, it ain't going to be any worse than this. Yeah. You know? And I was talking to my clinician there, and I was like... Like, your blood's green. Do you know why? She was like, it's time to go over your results.

I was like, I don't even want to know. Yeah. Right? She's like, you've improved in all areas. And I was like, holy shit. Am I Keith Richards? Yeah. Maybe you are.

Am I? Maybe you drank through all the problems the body can have and it resets, you know? Yeah. Like it just goes to like the good side now. It was crazy. And I was like, and Wastewell is great because you'll be like, well, I guess like I could eat less cheeseburgers. And they're like, we got a supplement for that.

Yeah. You can inject this and then fruit will taste like cheeseburgers. Do you want it? And you're like, yeah, that sounds great. That's really cool. Yeah. So I don't know, man. It's like you said, sometimes people live right and die young.

Some people live wrong and die old. Sometimes the vice versa. There's doctors that'll tell you funny things. Like if you get a doctor who's like, you know, cool. And they'll be like, oh, yeah, the assholes always live. And like the nice people die. Dude, my friend, Steve, Dr. Steve, he used to be. was an O and A guy and he had a podcast called Weird Medicine. He put it very well to me. He,

he used to be a smoker and I smoke and I wouldn't say I'm a heavy smoker, but I smoke too much. And he was like, look, man, all life is is mitigating risk. That's it. Calculate the risk and determine if it is worth it to you. Yeah. That's all it is. He's like, so don't quit if you don't want to quit. Your chances of stroke are this much higher. Your chances of this are this much higher. Yeah. That's it.

Can you live with that? I was like, fuck. That's a kind of sound way to put it. I mean, that's a very practical and, and I mean, it's true. Everything is risk. Yeah. Analyzing, and your ability to, like, to be accurately kind of digesting

and analyzing that risk, you know? Look, I exercise three days, a week. I don't do anything crazy. I just do in my apartment. I do lunges and squats and upper body shit with dumbbells and that's it. Yeah. I try to walk when it's not eight million degrees outside in this town. Yeah. And then I inject as much fucking shit as I can get into my ass cheek. Yeah. Tastosterone, whatever it is. And that's it, man. I try to eat decently as much as I can. but I just am never going to understand like the people that never do

anything bad ever. I know, I just don't get it. You look great. Look at you got a great head of hair. You're fucking killing it. Hair staying in. How's the double chin look today? Let's see.

Well, I'm looking at the side. Not too bloated. So, you know, I've seen worse. I can live with it. But yeah, do you hear the sign of the old Seinfeld bit where he's like, the only reason we're doing the workout is so we can do the workout.

Yeah. Talks about how like that's the only goal. It's like the exercise is just so you're able to do the exercise. It's true. And I'm like, that's very funny, but I'm like, there are people that live like that where it's like, well, I don't put anything bad into my body ever. And I'm like, and what is the end result of that?

Yeah, I know. I mean, I don't go to that extreme. And I feel like the only thing, the real truth of the exercise stuff, at least for me, is honestly that I feel good. Sure. And I like that feeling. I like the post-workout feeling. That's the biggest motivation for me to do it, just the feeling. Well, also too, man, again, you, this is funny. This is where another really big difference between a parent versus a non-parent comes in. More importantly,

as family person versus a single person. You want to feel good. Yeah. If I had, you know, I just saw Tony Rock. He was at the club and we were hanging out. He was like, he's like, Monday's my day with my son, man. Like we, you know, I go home, we color, we play ball, we, you know, whatever. He was breaking down his but he said he flies home from the road and then

does all that stuff with his kid. Absolutely without question, you know, I'm sure he does it other days too, but his point was like that day is like our staple day or whatever. And I just was like, my God, like you can't You can't go home.

I mean, I guess you could, but like, I'm like, you can't go home hungover to do that. Right. Yeah, no, yeah. Some people do, but yeah, yeah, you can't. But also, too, you can't go home and do that with residual hangover. True. So it's like, you can't be like, why I go big on Saturdays. And I'm still kind of putting the final pieces together Monday morning.

And then by the time I link, no, you got to go into Monday. Ready. Yeah. Right. So that's, that's a great reason to feel. feel good. Yeah, it's true. But then also, the flip side of it is, as a single guy, I'll sit home and I'm like, what are you doing? And my friends will be texting. Come on, dude, come out. And I'm like, no, no, I'm taking it easy tonight. And then I sit there for a while and sometimes I will stand,

but there are nights where I'm just like, well, bro, you're not going to meet your wife sitting here or your next girlfriend sitting here. That's a good point. You're not. You're not going to get any new material sitting here. That's a good point. You're alone. Go out and just, and who cares if that means you have too many drinks? Yeah, yeah.

As long as you get your shit goes. You're engaged in life. You got to do that. You have to do that. I mean, I know there are people going, well, you know you can go out and not have too many drinks. Well, yeah, okay. All right, relax.

Here's a, I never played an opening clip, which is, I don't know. Oh, shit. Sorry. So, wait, I'll just play this one for you first. This will be our opening clip. It's me, Stacey Kedison. I've been notified that. Sandra Bullock is in with the University of Wisconsin School here in Madison, Wisconsin,

and in Wisconsin, and I got the approval of the school and some of the students and faculty to burn me alive. So I've been told that Sandra Bullock and the people that have made a plot to murder me and burn me alive are to be picked up and deported. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone mother to this. No, mom when the fucking stand? Welcome. Welcome to your I've never gone this long without playing our opening clip. Ever. In 15 years.

It's a historic episode. This is a historic episode. 16 years. The fuck was that lady. This lady has a lot of insight. I can't wait to tell you about her. Okay. This lady is Stacey Kennison.

She is a 55-year-old female heterosexual law-abiding citizen. Is that how she describes yourself? That's how she describes. She has two degrees. sure she's also posted over 9,500 times on Instagram she posted for this one I Stacey Lynn Kennyson have been notified that Sandra Bullock and the people who agreed to burn me alive

and murdered me from the University of Wisconsin are to be picked up and deported which is great she just quick thing I don't know I think Sandra Bullock at least at one point lived here does she still live here she used to have a residence here yeah she was here I think it was when she was married who she married to Jesse James Yeah, yeah, but I thought she, didn't she still, does she reside here? No longer lives here full time.

Okay. Okay. She owns property here, strong ties to the city. She owns a home on Lake Austin. Operates Walton's Fancy and staple. What the hell is that? A popular downtown bakery cafe and gift shop. Fuck that place.

Chichobamba is my place, and that's what we talk about here. 1100 South Lamar is right across from the Alamo draft house. Congrats, man. Thanks, buddy. Have you had it yet? No. I'm sorry, I gotta make my way down. Dude, I will take care of you.

Just let me know when you want to go. Thank you. I want to try the prosciutto sandwich. Can I tell you my, what I have a favorite one is now? Yeah. It's the mortadella. The mortadella with brie and some olive, like, topping out on it. Great.

That's my favorite one that I've had there. I'm excited to come on down. Ooh, pastrami. Yeah, I want you to try. First of all, I know you like sandwiches. There's a bunch of sandwich. want you to try. But breakfast, the pastries are, I just had, hasn't been out yet, but I just had a world-class chef come there. And he told me that the spolietela, the pastry, he goes, this is the best

I've ever had, including in Italy. Really? Yes. That's amazing. Very excited about it. Yes. It's really good. And this guy came over from Italy. Well, this guy's Italian. Yes. He's from Cinque Tera. He lived in L.A. Now he lives here. And we open this. We have three locations now, which is kind of crazy. We're at the Fairground Food Hall downtown under the Wells Fargo building. We're in the Scarborough building downtown. And then we're on South Lamar at the right across from the Alamo Draft House.

That's great. Yes. That's great, man. It's very fun. It's an exciting town to pursue this type of thing. Yeah. Because this type of thing is a little bit newer, I would say. Yeah.

to Austin. And it's a fun area of cuisine to see being developed and explored here. The fun for me is like, it's like in any, you know, when you go to like a restaurant and you go, this was great and you tell people. And then you wait for them. They're like, dude, I went. That was, that's like the fun feeling of this place is that I had his stuff there. I was always like, these are the best.

Yeah. And then I brought it here. Yeah. And now people hit me up all day and they're like, this is the best thing I've had. That's awesome. man yeah that's awesome how far we how and how close is it to hear a few minutes is it open right now yeah oh maybe i'll just because i'm gonna i'm gonna i gotta be somewhere at um 1230 but maybe i'll go over and get lunch real quick great yeah let me know okay if you're gonna do it i'll text them and let them

know you're and you're saying the mortadella sandwich is the one why don't you try both okay i'll have them give you both okay yeah all right great i love it um now you like collecting as well right Yeah, so I'm doing, that's actually what I have to go shoot today. I'm going, so I do, I'm doing the podcast here, Vile and Horrendous. Yes. Thank you. Absolutely. Thank you.

Having a great time. And that's the rantey opinion stuff. But then I also love collecting. So I do another thing on my YouTube called The Collector, where I go to shops, shooting with Meg Seidel, who's, she works on Kill Tony. She's really great. And she just comes with me. And we go, we go into, today we're going to, today we're going to work.

Waterloo Records. Oh, that's a great spot. Yeah, so we go in and it'll be like, have you been there before? Oh, it's fantastic. I've been going for decades. Oh, okay. Literally decades.

It's one of my favorite places. It's great. So, you know, we'll go in, and it's like, sometimes it's like, I'm looking specifically for this or I'm here today to pick up this that came out for my, I collect movies, I collect video games,

I collect cassette tapes, and I collect records. Well, you know what else? You could probably get into collecting. What's that? Right, so let's go on to Brian, or herperson man cave and look at his chairs so well we got pro garden maloose we got my white chocolate strawberry pewter blue and hunter green one more fan back chairs we come here we got a roommate chair

forget the great guy i chair yes how you feel about chairs uh i never knew somebody could feel this strongly about these shitty plastic hey hey hey if you're gonna be like that that's sure spend most my time in that chair spends a lot of time in that chair spends a lot of time in We have this rubber made chair. I don't like the Mabu. And come over here we have. Oh, wow. Look at all those chairs.

Low back, arched high back, use leisure chair. So I just a kid's size use leisure chair. We got the slotted low back and slotted high back. You know what's nice is that he found a chair at an accessible price point because those couldn't be more than, what, 27 cents each? Something like that. How much are those? I honestly was wondering that myself and I was like, are these pricier than I think they are?

The craziest thing is that when you are any, you are anything? and you see this type of chair, you're like, ah, fuck, I hope they have other chairs here. You know, like you, everyone recognizes these as the worst possible chairs to see. The worst chairs. That's the worst chair you could see. Here we have a workmate chair, she's got a kid-size model.

Kids model, that's cool. He's got him stacked in his room. How many people do you think he actually knows or ever has over for this amount of chairs? He should be listening to this episode about, hey, go out, go to the thing, When people say, come on the boat, go to the boat. Yeah. This is what he needs.

Yeah. Don't stay away from the chair, sail. A chikpizer. How do you feel about, see, everybody has their opinion about collecting and collectors. And, like, I think most people of a certain background, let's say, kind of understand the get, the person that goes, I like vinyl. Or I like movies. Right. Right?

Because it's part of our culture. It's a form of art. obviously. Yeah. But what's your thought on somebody who's just like, like chairs, you know? I,

I, well, my first thought would be, they couldn't possibly mean these chairs. I would think, I know. I would think you'd be like, maybe hand sculpted chairs or somethings or,

yeah, yeah, you're into like antique chairs or leather somethings or, yeah. This, this, to me, seems like hoarding more than chair collecting.

It feels kind of hoardish, yes. Right? Yes. I mean, they're, they're literally, These are discarded chairs.

Yes. These are chairs. And if you were like, can I get that chair? People are like, just take the fucking chair. You don't have to ask for it. Yeah. These are the Tupperware of chairs. Yeah.

These are awful chairs. I don't need it. Yeah. Keep it. And again, like, it's so frustrating when you go somewhere and you see this chair. You're like, I don't want to sit down. I'd rather stand. It's, it's truly crazy.

Look, he can't get into the other side of his bed. Too many chairs. High back. I got this kid's a chair, maybe a leach. I'll tell you most of this sounds like 30 years old. He's really proud of the chairs, too. Like, these are like his most... Come here, we've got another little each chair.

We've got a Groflex on. I'd work on that speech, too. He's got a little bit of a speech thing going on. I thought it was a woman, but you're saying it's a man. I think it's a man. Yeah, I think it's a man. Wait, let's listen again. Come over here, we've got a Sarcoe kid-sized chair.

Got a deluxe fan back, tropical deluxe. All right, you're right. He knows the... This is the deluxe triple fan back. this is the sarko. Like he does the brands. Triple fan back. What does that mean?

Like the way it's slotted? I think the slotted three slots, you know, lets the breeze come in, keep the back warm. Triple fan back. You want a triple fan back? Slotted?

Collectible ones you don't ever want. Wow. Yeah, I'm picturing the guy in the showroom. That's your triple fan back. That's your top of the line. I don't know if you're a big spender or not. You got a whole... You're sitting there.

You're going to know where the extra money won't. Go ahead. Give it a try. This is... This is... No, this is wild. Now, I'm seeing... Well, I was going to say,

I'm seeing multiple doors, which means... That doesn't mean anything. For some reason, I thought that meant he had to be a spacious apartment. Oh, he does not have a spacious apartment. One of those is definitely a closet. One of those is also full of chairs, too.

You know that, right? That's definitely... Yeah. Yeah. But also, one of the spaces apartment. not stack the chairs higher so you have more space? You get too many chairs and you got and you want to show people. People come over he's like you want to see some chairs.

I want to know what the rest of the apartment looks like. Hello everybody so I decided to uh why not make a collection update on my uh vacuums here. Yeah so I need to see here it's uh don't mind the cat. It's pretty much been the same. Maybe some machines have been moved around. Oh shit. Machines. Nothing.

You think he's single or married? I think he is crushing it, man. Really much has changed. Every girl they bring someone. He's like, I got a surprise for you. Do you imagine the look of horror on a woman's face as he opens the door to this room? He's like, check out my stuff. But he's old school.

He's like, come on, you should love a vacuum. Yeah, yeah. You're abroad. You're abroad. You're broad. Broad's like to vacuum things. You'll never went out of options here. Much has changed.

Yeah, that floor looks not that clean. Then if we walk in here, do you use the vacuums? They were like junk. Like they were broken. Oh, those were junk. I don't know. But they're gone.

Even I organize this. This is a, he's got something going on, right? Yeah. It's crazy. This is crazy. Do you think his financial advisor is like, I've told you this?

many times stop buying vacuums you have nothing in your 401k you have no pension you don't have savings but you got 400 fucking vacuums man baby this is the 401

this is it you realize what people are going to pay for this one day it's like a house you're not the money's not gone it's just invested look at this room bro look at the room see now here's the weird thing when this video first started before I could get a good look at the vacuums. I can just kind of see they were lined up. Yeah. My first thought was,

well, it's well organized, which doesn't give me porter vibes. And then also I was like, oh, vacuums. That's interesting. Because I thought like maybe he collected vintage. Right. Vacuums. And I was like, they are kind of cool looking. Yeah. Ornamental. Maybe he's into, you know, but it's, it's literally just the shittiest. Any fucking shitty vacuum. Yeah. Yeah. They're like from like the 2002. I would love. to see like a detailed spreadsheet on what he's spent on vacuums. Because I bet it's outrageous.

It's everything he's ever earned. Do you, well, that's a good, raises a question. How much do you think the, see, I think almost the house, I feel like he's getting these things for $10 at a goodwill. I think there's a wide range of vacuums there with prices too. And I love the random just file cabinet right in the front there. Yeah.

there's just, oh. So, yeah, I hope you guys. That's his record. That's his ledger for his vacuum. I hope you guys like this. Oh, I tell you what, we fucking loved it, man. That was fantastic. Now, here's the thing.

This is a guy with a little bit of money because he has a full basement. That's true. So he's got a house. But just based on this expression, I think it's dad's money. You know what I mean? Like, I'm looking at him and like,

is that really from him? Or did mom and dad go? Just buy another fucking vacuum. We're going to Europe. Yeah, they're probably taking care of them. We love our son. The poor kid, he's sick. He's got his vacuum.

He's got his vacuums. That kid can't be more than 23 years old. He looks pretty young. He does look pretty young. This is like, see, this could be a show. Yes. Like my strange addiction, you know, like people that collect weird shit

where it doesn't make sense. My strange addiction is so fucking. I haven't watched it now in a while, but I've seen the clips always circulate. And every time they're like, I eat diapers. And you're like, what? Yeah. And it's like, and I eat 60 a day. And you're like, what the fuck is happening, man?

Yeah, it's crazy. It's so fucking crazy. People do crazy shit, man. Get it, baby, get it. Get it. Pulling his tooth? I think. Oh, yeah, it's kind of loose.

Whoa! That thing is not loose. Ah. Oh. Why are you pouring it? I'm drying. He's holding the camera himself. Oh, man.

Why is he pulling you? He doesn't want to go to the dentist. Yeah, yeah. Whoa. No, no, no, I understand this was the circumvent of the dentist, but the guy goes, it's not loose. So why are you pulling it out then? Maybe he's just hurt.

You feel better? Oh, yeah, see, it was aching. Well, it's not the first one that's come out because he had a nice little gap there already. Jesus Christ This is a And I mean look what they're in They're in a sophisticated looking workshop

Yeah There's money Go to the dentist If you have a garage like that I've shopped for homes in my life Yeah A garage like that is an amenity Like a workshop garage like that

Yeah sure That's not you know You don't just have that It looks like Kenny did it to him A little bit before too There's a nice little space for that Yeah, no, they've done this. This is how they roll.

Kenny and who's the other guy? I don't know, but fucking A, man. Would you ever do that? That fucking tool that he's using. That tool is more expensive than a no insurance dentist visit. You're totally right. That's an expensive fucking tool, that thing. It looks really nice.

It looks like top of the line. Unless they just want to do it for content. I doubt it. I think this is just like, hey, little fucking, You know. Would you ask me about the dentist? Sorry. Have you, would you ever go and would you ever do it yourself?

No. If I had to. Right. If I was like, I'm so, I have no option. But I'd sell, I'd sell those fucking fancy pliers before I did it myself. This, oh, this I wanted you to see. We've had this one for a while and I have not showed it to anyone. It's just an interesting world to explore.

I didn't, I think you will be able to a comment on this better. better than anybody. Nothing drives me more crazy being a woman in pizza behind the counter and when people walk in, they raise an eyebrow whether or not I could do the job. Right away, they're already wondering, is she the owner? Does she know what she's doing? Of course I do. My name's on the door.

Of course I know how to do it. I didn't go into an industry I know nothing about. This is my blood, sweat, tears. I was born into the industry. So of course I know how to make pizza. I know how to do the ins, the outs, the payroll, the books, you name it. That's what it takes to run a pizzeria. Can a broad run a pizza place?

No. I didn't even listen to a word she was saying. I tuned out as soon as I saw it was abroad. Yeah, of course. It's not just flour sauce and cheese that everyone thinks nowadays. There's plenty of talented women that are out there right now and make a kick-ass pizzas just like myself. So why is it okay if your wife can make you a sandwich,

but I can't make you a pizza? Women now are working harder than ever to break out of the society norms. So if you see a woman behind your counter, don't raise a eyebrow. Maybe give her a high five. That's a society norms. That's broken in the barriers that you've never even witnessed in your life. Really?

She, wait, what did you just say? Sorry, because I was too hard. I was too busy laughing. Because she's broken through barriers that you've never even witnessed in your life. Give her a high five because she's broken through barriers that you've never even witnessed in your life to make your fucking pie. This doesn't apply to all women. What am I about to say? Okay.

But women, get over it. This is insane. It's an insane comment. Everything isn't gender. it's so nuts I know it's like people she's like people give me they raise an eyebrow

they could also be just raising an eyebrow because they're like what is that you know they don't even know what you are they don't think like a woman can't make a pizza she's always wearing

that mic clip on her collar yeah and they're like the fuck are you doing what is that they're raising an eyebrow because you're doing a testimonial and people are trying to order

pizza they see you and they think you're about to go I'm a kind of pizza they think you have a fucking trachea out me yeah this is it's i don't know if i saw a woman behind the counter at a pizzeria i wouldn't be like hold on what are we doing here nobody would yeah this is insane this is all in her head

this is insane and you know what i especially wouldn't say hold on if it was a heavyset woman i know i'd be like this lady knows food yeah of course yeah no that's this is there are these people we do we do a segment on the show called you know what i'm sorry if it was like a super hot girl i'd be like, what kind of place is this? This is weird. Yeah. I want her to be a big, big chick. There's a couple of those on Instagram. Yeah. Where it's like the hottest girl ever and like,

but she can make a pizza. But she's got the short shorts on and. Yeah, but see, that's like, that gives me pause. I don't want to be, like, I don't want the hot place, like the hot chick place. I want. It's this girl. Yeah. She's so

hot, but she, look, she does what she's fucking doing. I ain't mad at it sure that looks like a good pizza I ain't mad at it I'm not mad but I'm just saying I would raise an eyebrow more at that than I would

you know Bertha over here We do a segment on violent horrendous called white women's Where it's just about the crumbling of the psyche Of white women in America Yeah I mean this would have been a good one Oh my God this would have been a real fucking good one

Here's this one Yeah names I've been called in the comment section of this video Mayo monkey Goycelot retarred brain dead retard drone autism baked potato

autistic in word pathetic freak gay mental goblin white brain dead names I've called people I don't agree with on social media That's very powerful Very powerful Yeah that is a Brooke Jeff

MD. This is a doctor. A doctor? I mean, MD. A doctor. You go to her page? I guess she, and that she does this routinely. She does her video and then she does a post about what people called her. What was the video she did, by the way? I mean, it looks like she's doing something maybe about sun protection or something. I don't know. Yeah, she's a dermatologist, so. Can you fucking imagine you go to this woman and then you see her on Instagram. Oh my God. Would you ever switch a doctor more quickly? No. And also I would just be like, hey, are you looking for just positive validation on Instagram? It's just, it's the wrong place for you,

lady. It's nuts. I saw, um, I got into it one day with a lawyer on Instagram, Portland, a guy lawyer from Portland said some shitty fucking thing in my comments. And I usually don't respond, but he just really pissed me off. And we're going back and forth. I go, bro, you're a lawyer. You represent people's well-being. Like, you're better than this. Yeah. Why are you trolling me?

Yeah. And he goes, I'm not better than this. And it's like, can you imagine that's your lawyer? And you see him doing that on Instagram? You're like, you're fired. It's crazy. I totally agree. Anybody that's a professional that I saw,

I'd be like, I don't want to work with this person. No. But I saw this fascinating take on why people do it that I thought was actually really interesting. What's that? It's that everybody operates in the world knowing that there's a way to conduct yourself in polite society. In other words, no matter your job, you know you have to speak this way, talk to somebody this way, it's inappropriate to let it out. And that when you pivot to social media, it's like permission for a lot of people to tap into like, I want to say the thing I'm never allowed to say.

And it's like a release for people to be like, that sucks, fuck you, the insults, the crazy stuff. It's just like part of the mind that's always restricted and held back, letting go. Which I think makes sense. Yeah, it does make sense.

But I still wouldn't want to hire the guy to fucking work for me. Well, no, exactly. But it also speaks to this epidemic of borderline personality disorder. you know, where people, certain people only know how to seek engagement and acceptance through harsh, harsh negativity.

Yeah. That's an aspect of it, you know? They only know how to engage through toxicity. And the thing that makes those people the craziest, like the ones who want that negative interaction is a non-response. Yes. They move on to somebody who gives them a response. Yeah, that's the thing too.

And that's where the whole like never engaged, never respond. But I mean, what a terrible, just what a terrible dynamic of society we're living in. Totally. Where it's like, here's this thing we're forcing you all to, quite literally now, forcing you to be a part of it. Yeah. Do you have, are you a candidate for something? Are you up for a job? All these things now are very much judged or relying on your social media.

Yeah. You've got to use it to promote. You've got to use it to engage with your job. or customer bait, whatever it is. So here's this thing we've forced you to do. We've forced you into it. And now also we're telling you, don't let it bother you, don't engage, don't.

And as people say, the worst thing's humanly possible. Yeah. It's a really twisted. It's twisted. Twisted system. That's why every once in a while I get so jealous, I'll meet somebody. You know, it's obviously like a comic.

It'll be somebody not in the field. And I'll say something about, like, Instagram. They're like, oh, I don't have that. And I'm like, you don't have that. They're like, no, I don't have, like someone who's completely detached from social media. I'm like, you lucky son of a bitch.

Dude, if I worked in a job where it wasn't my business, I was an accountant or something, I wouldn't have any of it. Yeah. These people that have it just to talk to their friends, I'm like, what is the matter with you? Yeah, fucking text. Text your friend.

Yeah. Crazy. Totally crazy. Do you think this is funny or no? Jesus. No, it's making me cringe. Did he break his foot? Is that broken?

Oh my God. Did you see the close-up? Yeah, it looks horrible. It tore through the skin. Yeah. Why is the other guy not doing anything? I don't fucking know. Yeah.

That guy's a savage. Holy shit. Did he not tap out? No. It tore through the skin, dude. Are you allowed to do that? Oh, okay. It doesn't look like he goes, ah! It finally registered. Guys, that's one of the worst ones you ever put in there.

That his foot is twisted around. Holy shit. I didn't care for that. Well, I didn't care for that. Where was that? That was... Is that in Brazil? I'm saying it like I know. I didn't pull the clip. It was? Yeah, it was like, it was an, it was an MMA tournament, and yeah, the guy wasn't tapping. and so he just kept going.

He tore it through the skin. Yeah. I mean, the guy was okay, though. He was taken to the hospital shortly afterwards. Oh, he's okay? Yeah. Oh, okay, good. Yeah.

The guy felt really bad about doing it, too. Okay, it's good now. All right, well, there you go, Joe. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. How about this one? Oh, I love these, like, tricks that the people do. They're so skilled.

That's the crazy thing. Jesus Christ, dude. It's... She's all right. It makes my blood run cold. Because you see it... Why? The stupidity. The stupidity.

I mean, I thought he would know what he was doing there. I guess he... Jesus, dude. She could be dead. She could be, but she's not. It says here she's not dead. How bad was it? her face fucked up. It just doesn't say, doesn't say. Okay. But she's good. It says she's good now.

She's good. Good for her. Yeah. She'll be right. Good for her. All right. All right. That was fucking, I bet that was crazy. That's amazing. If you're listening, this is like a kickboxing workout, which by the way, that doesn't help. And the woman holds up the pad to catch the leg kick and the guy just goes right over it, kicks her straight in the jaw and knocks her out. And then he's like, I'll pick up your legs. That'll bring you back. I love, there's nothing funnier than a one-hit knockout. Oh, yeah. It's so funny when somebody just goes down, especially when it's not an accident. When somebody's like, I love the videos where somebody's talking shit, the guy just goes, uh-huh, uh-huh. And then you just see the dude like start snoring.

it's the best. I saw one where it was recent where this guy, these guys were like getting in this girl's face on the street outside. And the one guy got really animated and he kept getting closer and closer

and he was holding a beer bottle and at one point he just throws it down on the ground and it shatters and as he's talking and a guy from over here comes punches him, knocks him out and then his friend comes over and the same guy knocks him out

single punches each. Wow. It was fantastic. That's so satisfying. Yeah, did you see the thing where the, oh my God. She holds, she drops the bag of a second. She does.

She does. Why does she do that? Because she's a dumb bra. I probably fucking makes pizza for a living. I love the shin protectors. Oh my God. Those are handy. I love that he's just like,

don't wear headgear, just wear shin protectors. Here's your legs. You're okay. Your legs are in the air now. The, uh, yeah, did you see the, um, was it an, maybe, I don't know. Somebody just knocked out some influencer at a party. Was like an MMA guy or?

Oh. Oh, is this the one that Larry Wheels first slapped to? The kid is just talking. I don't remember. I don't remember any of the names. So Larry Wheels, he's the big bodybuilder guy. This might be it. He was at a thing and this guy kept like saying shit to his wife, right?

And he kept saying shit to his wife. It was like inappropriate. Like, you know, he's just being like rude. and Wheels slaps the fucking shit out of this guy the next day or a couple days later the same guy

is at some other social thing and he's talking shit to another guy who's an MMA fighter that's the one I saw it's like an influencer and then that guy elbows him in the face yeah knocks him right out

this is the second one yeah this is the one I saw yeah and then I love this I love the guys like now he's walking out like fuck you and all those friends are going get back here it's like fuck off man yeah fuck off you fuck off yeah that same guy did it to um yeah hours later it says so he yeah it was larry wheels to if you have to go to um so so the same guy got knocked out twice yeah yeah

honestly do you think he's doing this for publicity probably okay yeah so he's this is the first time so he's trying to like take all right Yeah, this seems fake to me. Yeah. I'm just gonna hit on the guy's work. But the second one? The second one seems completely real, but the fact that it's the same day, I'm like,

that's kind of crazy. This is, yeah, he's doing this for, for, for. And he probably was like, fucking hit me in the face. If you knocked me out, it's fine. It's fine. I'll get a lot of views. Yeah, God, it's such, what a sick fucking world.

It's so funny. Everything is worthless. Burn it all down. This one was great. That was funny. Yeah. Oh my shit. And the fact that he just flipped the camera around on himself to enjoy it.

That's great. That's a nice one to wrap things up with. That's great. I love it. A couple of things. You can follow Joe DeRosa at Joe DeRosa Comedy on Instagram. Please check out vile and horrendous, which is out now. New episodes every Thursday.

Yeah. We produce it. It's on Joe's channel. The end. Ari Sheffir's final story telling show is out at YMaystudios.com. If you have not yet seen it, please check it out. Thanks to the response from you, which has been tremendous. So thank you for that. We will be able to make more things like that because you guys supported it in such great numbers. We can continue to produce things that go directly from us to you. So thank you.

you for watching that. Thank you for doing that. Anything you want to plug any specific dates or anything? No, I appreciate the outpouring of support with the first few episodes of the pod. We're excited and at Jodoroza Comedy is my YouTube if you want to check out that and also the collector.

That's kind of all I'm focusing on right now. I'm not really on the road at the moment. All right, great. Yeah, thanks. Thank you guys. We'll see you next week. What's going on? It's Charles from Matt. Actually, my new office, I really like it. Not gonna lie, and it's got this really cool view.

I've been here, I don't know. It's at 7.30. And I got my ice latte. Ice latte. Ice latte. It's Charles. Ice, ice latte. Ice latte.

Oh! Oh! He's got this really cool view. There we go, egg. There we go, egg. Oh, there we go, egg. Oh, there we go. I've been here.

I don't know. I don't know. Oh. I don't know. Since 7.30. It's Charles. Latte. Ice latte.

Ice latte. Ice latte. It's Charles. Ice. Ice latte. Ice latte. Ice latte. Oh!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's got this really cool view. Cool, cool, view. There we go, eh? Oh. There we go. Oh. Oh, there we go.

I'm looking at Lily's in Union Square. Oh, say around an 8 o'clock, 815. But anyway, should be called. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.