Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Coming In Space | Your Mom's House Ep. 701

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

SPONSORS:-Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.Welcome back to your favorite mothers’ house with Tom Segura and Christina P! Nadav is back from gambling rehab, we find the coolest blind guy, Tom reports on a murder that’s fun for the whole family, and we recap the incredible basketball game between Tom and Erie weatherman David Wolter. Tim tries to compliment Christine, Tom stands with Hilaria Baldwin, Christina makes a worrying discovery about herself and figure out the difference between cheetahs and leopards. We find out about a cool girl who’s REALLY into aircrafts, we revisit was cloths, and we investigate the questions about space that no one is asking.

Do I ever get sunshine from Tom? Jesus Christ, man. It's wrong with you. I'm still waiting. I don't want to do it now. No, come on! Because we've seen the documentary where people are into buildings or cars,

and it's hard to fuck a building or a car. I imagine. No one's talking about this. No one's talking about ejaculating in space. Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house. This episode of your mom's house is brought to you by Satva. That is the mattress that I've been sleeping on now for over a decade.

Not the same one I've actually rotated because I wanted to try their full line of mattresses out. And I actually have never been disappointed. I've slept on all of them. The luxury firm mattress, the memory foam mattress from Lumen Leaf, their other line. And I've also slept on the soleir, the one that has a zero gravity setting,

a vibration setting, the head and the feet move. It's all incredible. I'm a big, big fan of all of it. And you can get one, and you can do away with that dog bed that you've been sleeping on. You can actually have them do mattress takeaway service, which is what you want to do. You don't want to leave your old mattress in your front yard.

That's what a not-so-put-together person does. You ask them to take it away for you and they'll do it. Go to Satva, s-a-a-t-v-a.com slash the shit. And get $200 off any mattress of your choice. You will not regret it. Sleep like a baby and you can thank me later. And it's good to be back right in the studio, studio jeans here in Austin, Tejas.

You were in Latin America. I've been all over the place. I've been jacking off so many places. It was the best country to jack off. Sorry to say. I mean, I'm a patriot, so I would say here in the US of A. Really? Sure, yeah.

Well, you know what's cool about them Latin countries? Is our friend, what's his name? McAfee. Remember, you can always find extra resources, extra ways to have fun down there. Take a dump in my mouth, yeah. Here's $100. Yeah, what's interesting is I was just

recalling that story in my head. I thought he was dumping in the girl's mouth. It turns out, as my memory recalls, he was in eating their poo poo. He was eating their poo poo, yeah. Through a hummock. Through a hummock, yeah. Did you do that?

In the hummock? When you were in Latin America? He was in Belize, I believe, doing that. No, I didn't. I just, I don't have a thing for poo. Pooh doesn't get me excited. I'm one of those weirdos. So hard to believe.

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't do that. But I did, I really did enjoy. We'll get into it. I also want to acknowledge, welcome back to Nadav. Welcome back. I am, I am well, how are you? G.M. Well, you know, I just want to say there's,

I feel like I embarrass myself on this show a lot. And every time that I do, you guys kind of come in and save the day for me. So I just want to say thank you for, you know, sending me to rehab and stuff. How was gambling rehab? It was actually like a lot more depressing than I thought it was going to be.

Really? Because they are lumping you in with other, other addicts as well. Yeah, well, you're an addict. Yeah. Right. But like, I was just addicted to gambling, but like everyone else that was there

was addicted to gambling and other stuff. Oh, I see. Do you think you're better than them? Do you think I give a new perspective now? There's a lot of people who do that. I'm better than all of the other gamblers. That's not Nadov. What?

Also, you guys also took me out before I ended the program. Well, we have work to do. Right. I did suggest that you don't come to Las Vegas and you insisted that you be there. So that was on... Well, I'm a company man.

The company always comes first. Yeah, but your sobriety should come first. You know what I mean? Like, when you can say to your boss, I have a gambling problem. I cannot come. I can assist in other ways, right? But you would have understood that.

I would have understood you not coming to Las Vegas. You stayed an extra day. That was not necessary. You stayed an extra day. If it don't make dollars, it don't make sense. And so, you know... Okay. Did you leave?

Did you stay away from the tables in Vegas? Okay, so that's a good question. Okay, it's a very simple question. Because, you know, like any, you know, we were all hanging out and what happened. Don't blame me. I'm not even there yet. I'm not even there yet.

But, you know, we both agreed that exposure therapy, you know, exposure therapy is something. Exposure therapy is something. Yeah, exposure therapy is something that people use. I'm pretty sure when you left, they were probably like, and the one thing you should never do is go to a casino. Yeah. See, I left before we got to that part.

I left before we got to that part. Okay, so are you any better than when you... Oh, I had a full-on relapse. It turns out I shouldn't have gone to Vegas. Like, I was playing Slots quite a bit. We were playing craps up until the morning. And you sold your car? You sold it?

You did? Well, you know, it's like, the ATM stopped giving me stuff. So, you gotta do other things. He sold his car. Where, on craps? No, on Fremont. All right. Well, it's good to have you back.

It's good to be back. Um, it was really fun to do Vegas, all his serious problems aside. Do you trust him to be the producer of your mom's house? I mean, yeah, as long as he doesn't sell the equipment in that room. I would never. Yeah.

The... I'm a company man. MGM put on a great event. We had a great time. The Fat Bird was there. Oh my God. Did he eat a lot? And you know, there's lots of bouffets and such.

Yeah, it's a... We did an audio-only bonus episode. It's available everywhere. You can listen to podcasts of Two Bears. So, it's an added episode, audio-only, that we did at the MGM. And it was Bert and I on... It was St. Patrick's Day.

And it was like noon, I think, noon or one. And it was this cool, like a little room they gave us of like 150 hardcore Two Bears fans. They were so much fun. And we had a blast. We went over time. We were supposed to do like a limited time. We went over time.

And we just had the best... We had the best time. Yeah, we had the best time doing it. So, you can listen to that. If you want to listen to that audio episode. And thank you MGM Grand for doing it. But we had a really good time. And we laughed a lot that day.

We laughed a lot. It was really, really fun. Really fun. And yeah, the cool thing is about... You know, if you're an addict, you're looking for other people to do your addiction with you. So, I've never heard any talk about... Gambling and like the five plus years I've known him.

He rolls in with Nadav. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, bro. And then I see Annie. He's like, hey, he's like, hey, man. Oh, wow. He's like, hey, check this shit out. He's like, as soon as we wrap this shit up, I got to get back to the craps table.

You know what I'm saying? I was like, what? And he was like, yeah, yeah. And Nadav told me, I didn't know anything about craps. Craps is the shit. Craps is the shit, man. I was like, oh, fuck, eight is great, baby. Eight is great.

Oh, no, no. Craps is great. You're roping Annie into your nonsense. I'm just trying to help. I'm trying to help my friend. This is terrible. And I will take the help. Oh, my God.

Well, this person is Chinese, African, or worse. Jewish. So, yeah, it was pretty crazy. You're roping him into your things. This is terrible, Nadav. Missouri loves company. Oh, my God. Yeah, that casino owes me a lot of money.

I'm going to come get it one day. Oase me a lot of money? Yeah. Well, Nadav, as your punishment for relapses. No, no, no, no, no. The J-Shades are back. I'm back, baby. Woo.

There you go. This is the worst. Enjoy it. This is genuinely the worst. Nadav, you've been spending way too much of your own money. Listen to your mother, Nadav. Hold on, my jewels are falling off that one. Listen to your mother, gambling's not good for your health.

Oh, you're good. My mom can do this this week, and this hits too close to home. Yeah. It's safe for the future, Nadav. You're going to have to retire one day. You know what they call him? They call him, Nadavi. It's more Israeli.

Remember, it's like, Nadavi. Nadavi. What are you doing, wasting all your money on this stupid gambling? Fun times with mom? Well, if I close my eyes, it's like, yeah. He's spending on who guys, too? Did you have a fun time with mom?

Yeah, we pretty much just took her on an eating tour. But because we were in Vegas and I was in an extra day, we were going to spend two and a half days together. We ended up spending about one day. Better. For me, yeah. No, she was a little sad, but it's just like, hey, it got work. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, my mom was like, she hit me up and goes, this is the week prior. She goes, and you know what? I thought it back to, remember when Chad Daying was on? Yeah. And he goes, you know, the one thing I don't like is being put on the spot. I know.

And I was thinking about that. I was really thinking about that. So I'm on FaceTime with my mom, holding my phone, and I have her sister with me. And we're saying hello, just like how you, because I'm in South America. We're like, hello, and she's showing her sister about it. How's it going?

No, we're having a great time. She goes, next week, you're going to be in Las Vegas. Can I come to Vegas? And I was like, yeah, I don't appreciate the way that you're doing this right now. Ambush. Yeah, like I'm literally just saying hello to you from your sister's place.

And she was like, so, and I go, you know, the signal is really weakening right now. And then I hang up, excuse me, right before I hang up, she goes, your answer is loud and clear. Passive aggressive, yeah. And I just hang up the phone. And then later, like an hour later, she just sends me a still image of Las Vegas.

And she goes, so what's the answer here? And I just don't answer. I just ignore it completely. And then the next day, she just goes back to, oh, so how's everything going? So like baited, like fish, fish, are you going to take the bite, poke, poke? Yeah.

And then she was like, all right. And then you ignored it, and it went away. Yeah, that's really the lesson. If you ignore stuff, it goes away. You've got to ignore health issues. Absolutely. You've got to ignore weight problems, mom stuff. Bills in the mail, you've got to ignore those.

Right in the trash. Jury duty, right in the trash. Jury duty, you know, you're foreclosing on your, you throw that shit in the trash, and guess what? Goes away. Problems go, bye-bye. Yep, all right, we've got to open the show. We have so much to get into.

Oh, man, I'm so excited about this. Oh, no. You're really, ugh, you've got that dastardly dog in the book. I've been under the weather. All right, here we go. A pneumonia, I think. Justin, I really like your videos, and I hope you continue to do them.

And me being blind, please, I'd appreciate you doing them to where I can hear. And you know, I'd like you to turn the recorder on when you go into the bathroom, and let me hear you undo your belt, pull your pants down, set the toilet seat down, and sit down to do a good stream of pee in the water, and a good shit. And for me, since I can't see, if you

could describe what it looks like in the toilet. Oh, wow. This shit is big time. Oh, man, I love it. It is. You don't bother in the fucking space. Oh, man. Oh, man.

To your mom's house. It's huge. Awesome. God. Whew, good work. It's done. Welcome to your mom's house. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Ha. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. First of all, that's such a banger. I feel like if anybody were to say, what is the very essence of why I'm age? Oh man, this is an all time classic.

This guy, if we don't find more stuff from this guy, I'm gonna fucking lose my mind. This might be my favorite thing. This is everything. How does he even know how to work the computer? That's so many questions. Well, How does he know to be lit so confusingly? He just has to monitor around, babe.

Oh my god, can I just tell you how stupid it is? Holy shit. I just realized that blind people live in the dark. Like literally they don't have to turn the lights on. Right. Ever. But you know, blind people have different degrees of blindness. That's true.

So not everybody is pitch black blind. But this guy lives in the dark, maybe. Well. But he doesn't have to turn the lights on. Yeah. That's crazy. I just realized that. Okay.

But he's really excited if you could turn the audio up on that piss and shit you're gonna have to take. Wow. Wow. And describe it. And there's also a part two. No, there's more. Yeah, there's a little more.

God is good all the time. I know. Here we go. It's short, but let's hear what he says. Just a fun thing and you know, in other words, keep the recorder on from the beginning. Beginning to the end when you flush the toilet. Oh. Okay.

Okay. Please get back with me and let me know, okay. Thanks. Okay. So circle back, put a pen in it and we'll circle the wagons and discuss this later. So that'll be Wednesday at noon if you don't mind. For the zoom. I have lunch.

Make it 1.30. I have that lunch I forgot about. Also, you know, the thing that really makes you think about when somebody has some type of disability, you realize that their kinks are outside of the realm of normal kinks. So it's like, kind of adds up, you're like, well, blind guy, he doesn't want to see anything. He's all about hear, smell, touch. And so a big thing for arousal for this guy, it makes sense when you think about it. Makes perfect sense.

As he wants to hear. Now, the fact that he wants to hear you piss and shit is kind of unique. It's cool. He does want to hear what you're doing. I mean, actually, I would, I would argue that hearing that, I mean, the piss and the shit is kind of kind of the commonplace thing. A lot of people are into pissing and shitting, but you're right, it's unique in that he wants to hear it.

Turn that volume up. Turn the volume up. Let me hear you unzip and unbuckle your pants. Wow. You know, he wants to hear like, you know what I mean? Like he wants to hear that whole. Yeah. And all the way, like and the pants dropping.

And what's interesting is he doesn't even ask for a description of the guy's dung. He does not concern with that. He wants the description of the brown. Yeah. I wonder if you get upset if it was a messy, like I wonder if he just wants like a healthy log or like what if it was just a disaster dump and he's just like describing, oh God, it's everywhere. He's like, yeah, he goes right back, hey, Justin, I listen to that video.

I was hoping for a little healthier movement, you know, don't do the, you know, you're going straight to hell. Straight to hell. Can you introduce a little more fiber into your diet? I had a really hard time getting hard, if you know what I mean, you fucking eat man. Just nachos and cheese. That's true because we don't know what constitutes a good dump for him, a boner and ducer.

Maybe for him, the more disastrous, the better. You don't know. You don't know. You just don't know. You don't know. Gosh. But you don't know. Why'd you stop like that?

Because it looks like you're going to. Did I do it okay? You guys know I'm super afraid of upsetting daddy. No, stop. Stop. I'll lose his love. Stop. Okay.

I'm very codependent. Okay. It makes me think of something really fun I wanted to show you. What's the biggest mistake you made at your wedding? Honey, I love you, but said I do. Not my mistake. I love my wife. I'm going to get in trouble for that, aren't I?

Yeah. Check this out. So this guy, Tim, family food contestant has been accused. Of killing his estranged wife and resurfaced jokes he made on the show about his marriage are raising an eyebrow. Timothy Tim Blyfnick, 39 was arrested Monday in Quincy, Illinois, charged with two counts of first degree murder. Wow.

One count of home invasion. Police head in a press release. His wife, Rebecca Becky, believe Nick, I love how they have to like remind us what her nickname is for Rebecca, was found dead in her home February 23. Shit. Her body was riddled with bullets. Family member has gone to her home to check on her after she failed to pick up her three kids from school.

Three kids. He previously made headlines for appearing with his parents and siblings on family food and clips of his appearance, which contain an ominous sounding joke, have resurfaced following Becky's death. Fucking Becky. Yeah. He looks hot as a murderer, though. I definitely like his look better as a killer.

Oh, then I'm going to clean cut? Yeah. Yeah, you kind of like that look more. I love dirtbag. Yeah. He looks like Buffalo 66 dirtbags. I love that look. Yeah, you do.

I like Vincent Gallo. What can I say? That's really interesting. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I like scumbag. They were already divorcing, so he's not such a bad guy. Oh, yeah.

They make it out to be like they were happily married. Yeah, no, no, no. They were married in 09, but at the time of her death, they were already undergoing divorce proceedings. Oh, that's... They've been separated for several years. This could have been anybody. I know.

This could have been anybody. Well, they had a good run, 09. Yeah, and what's the guy? It's a long time. He's not allowed to joke. He's joking around. I know. It's a coincidence.

You know what? Everyone's out for the white man right now, Tom. Tim, we got your back. He shot her up. Somebody did. He gave her the gun. Somebody filled her up with bullets, yeah. What did she do, though?

Yeah. That's the thing is she must have been mouth and off. She must have been sleeping with his best friend. I don't know. Maybe she was just a bitch. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Stupid bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Just being all sassy. Talking back. Yeah. Filled out and riddled with bullets means that it's not one or two. I understand what the word is.

They usually lose count and they go, just call it a riddle of bullets. That's true. It's not like 20. Oh, yeah. Too many. Yeah. Damn, dude. That's wild.

We got to stop for a second, too, to give a huge shout out to, first of all, to everybody here and then for doing such a great job and David Wolter, the weatherman who flew down to Austin, Texas. You guys, if you haven't seen it, it's on the YMH YouTube channel. It came out a few weeks ago and the guy, so the video is called Air Segura vs. Rain Man. It's a really good title. It's very funny. It is a documentary, better than The Last Dance, if you've seen that, that is, I mean,

it's high production value. It's compelling. It's fun. A lot of people say it's wholesome. It's really enjoyable. It's a really good watch and it tells you the story of our beef and then it documents the game. I got to say, I give just so much credit for today.

We talked about it before that when somebody gets highlighted on this show, the way to win is to lean into it and he leaned in so hard and he's such a nice dude. He's such a good guy. He came down here. He played one-on-one. We had a good time playing. He was just a genuinely good dude and when I made the challenge, I said, I was like, I threw out charity, just like, donate the charity, not knowing that his daughter has

Pompeii disease so he wanted the charity money, if he were to win, to go to Pompeii Warriors, which helps combat that disease and so it brought a lot of attention to that charity. People started sending in donations left and right, so it's actually raised much more money than it would have just with the donation, so anyway, I donated to them as well and they reached out. They have been very thankful that the game brought attention to that charity. It was such a good dude about it. But since I did win the game, I told David, I said, hey man, if I win, you have to make

an apology video and for those of you that have not seen it, we're going to play it for you now, this is David Wolter's apology video because he lost our one-on-one game. But if I win, you have to post an apology video that I approve of. Hi there, I'm meteorologist David Wolter. I live in Erie, Pennsylvania. It's fine. I'd love to talk about Hawaii, but I have some important things to say. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to Tom Segura.

He's a very smart and sexy bald man and personally, I think he should be at the top of the sexiest bald man alive list. He's got that beautiful mouth and he's built in such a way. My brother didn't believe me at first, but he believes me now. Secondly, I was wrong about YMH fans. They're not basement dwellers. They're the kindest, funniest and most thoughtful fan base out there. See, I'm not G. I'm a weatherman and I know when a storm is coming.

I'd like to tell every Tom and YMH fan this, you're welcome to my page and at my house. Finally, I can't give him a physical address because of security reasons, but Lord knows I'd love to meet you. Finally, let me say this. I said I'd destroy Tom on the basketball court and I didn't. He proved himself to be a worthy opponent. I'd like to think we've gained respect for each other, both personally and on the court. Congrats, Tom.

You beat me. As far as the rematch goes, if you want to do it again, you better believe me, I'm coming up in May. Yeah. Come on. Oh, David and Walter made good. We had a class act here. He was great.

He was great. So shout out to David. That was good. You did an amazing job. And yeah, I don't know. That was an amazing apology and he was really beautifully written, too. He just winged it. It was great.

Oh, gosh, that's really good. Yeah, he was awesome. Big fan. And then here's the thing, the craziest up there of all, this all started with me shitting on Erie and he was like, you know, that's where I live, but he's leaving Erie. He just took a new job as the meteorologist in Bowling Green, Kentucky. So I congratulated him. I was like, congrats on the new gig and getting the fuck out of Erie, man.

Wow. What a crazy turn of events. It is a crazy turn of events. Where is it? What part of Kentucky? Bowling Green. Never heard of it. Yeah, well, you would do now.

Yeah. Okay. I don't know. Is it a step up or is not? I don't know. I mean, it's definitely a step up from Erie. I mean, it's probably, it's a mid major market, I guess it would be called, right? Okay.

A mid size, small size. I don't know. Great. Not bolding. Jesus. Bowling Green. Yeah. Well, it's nice.

That looks nicer than Erie. Yeah. It's like, you know, mid size. Yeah. A mid size sedan. That's exactly what it is. Very nice. I think he's going to like it much more there.

I think so, too. Pennsylvania is a rough state. As a matter of fact, I know you're going to like it much more there. Okay? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

May I bring up some news in my world? Please, absolutely. A lot of important things have been happening. First of all, I don't know if you guys recall many moons ago, I brought up the fact that Buffalo Wild Wings claims that their boneless wings are boneless wings. They're not boneless wings. They're just nuggets. Yeah.

And I've always felt that that was a grave injustice to the consumer because a boneless wing implies it's all wing meat with the bone removed. A person named Amon Halim, is this one of your tribe, Amon Halim? Halim's not us. Are you done? God, that was so good. Fuck, that was good. Can you pay attention now?

That was so good. Anyway, so this guy named Halim, he sued Buffalo Wild Wings. He sued them? For the false and deceptive marketing and advertising of Buffalo Wild Wings boneless wings. How can you not love this country? It's the best. Okay.

Here's what he says. May I continue? Yeah. Okay. This is a legal matter, Tom. This is a very important point. Excuse me. The court's sonographer just gave me a look.

Halim's lawsuit against Buffalo Wild Wings argues that the restaurant's boneless wings are, quote, not wings at all and are actually made from slices of deep fried chicken breast meat. So the products are more akin in composition to a chicken nugget rather than a chicken wing, the document says. The lawsuit says the label boneless wings is misleading because it implies to the consumer that the product is a chicken wing that has, quote, simply been deboned. So what do you think of that?

Well, it demands on a specified amount of damages, punitive damages, attorney's fees, a jury trial and other damages that the judge deems proper court documents show. Wow. Where's this going to go? Well, he actually sues. It should be noted that Domino's Pizza and Papa John also sell actual chicken wings. Yeah. Well, the man has also filed similar lawsuits against Tom's Wicked Fresh Mouthwash.

I guess it wasn't fresh enough. Yes. Kind and hefty. So I did a bit of a dive on this man because I'm like, what possible. Same. Really. What are you doing? Yeah.

It's because he does believe it is false. He's like, these are making false claims and the public deserves to be notified of such falsehoods. Yeah. So he wants Buffalo Wildlings to come out and go, we are lying to all of you. These are not wild wings. They're not wild. They're wild nuggets.

Nuggets, bro. Nuggets. And I felt this whole time and I'm just finally vindicated on such an important topic. So I'm very happy. I'm very happy today. But you know, at first I thought it was frivolous too. But then when you look at labels, like for instance, I was looking at Campbell's soup, the tomato soup, and it claims to be healthy.

So the other day I took a regular can of tomato soup and then I put it against the healthy one that I bought. And it's like fucking not, not very different. Like maybe like a fraction less sodium, a little bit less sugar. It's the same gross stuff. It's like, and they claim it's healthy. You're like, really? By comparison to the piece of shit you served us before, but so there you go.

Finally vindicated, finally. Bullshit. Bullshit. Also, I'd like to plug my lipstick, you guys. We just got a fresh new shipment of Christina P's Perfect Red in from Italy. It's restocked. If you want to go ahead and get that now, I would advise you to. It's got the perfect red, perfect, beautiful.

I designed it myself and look at that. The snap cap. So it doesn't ruin stuff in person. You know, you deserve some credit here. I do. No, no. I was going to expand on that. I'm waiting, I'm just lapping up your sunshine.

I never get it, so I'm ready. I'm waiting. Go for it. You never get it. No. Do I ever get sunshine from Tom? Jesus Christ, man. Throw with you.

I'm still waiting. I don't want to do it now. No, come on. Please give me your light, Lord, you're going to do that the whole episode. Yes. People have their earbuds in. What do you do, man? Cover the mic.

Go ahead. Hold on. So stop. Christine. Christine. Christine had this idea for people that don't know a while ago, you know, about lipstick. The first time she mentioned it, I was just like, you know, fucking dumb broad, like, you know, lipstick.

Family feud. Right. So. Barrage of bullets. Riddled. Riddled, then this, it came up again and again, finally to the point where it's really in the conversation, hey, should we pursue this? Christine goes, I really want, you know, I believe in this.

I know a lot about this. It's meaningful to me. So it's like, all right, let's give it a shot. For people that don't know, this is not, I mean, this is not just, you know, hyperbole. This is far and away, far and away. The best selling item that we've had in the store in years. Thank you. And you know what I'm going to do?

Put on my Jew broad glasses. Yeah. Yeah. So, but I'm saying is that the only reason that it's doing that well is because people really are responding to it. They really do like it. Oh, yeah. And we've had to like reorder enormous orders of it.

And it's your idea. So I just want to say congratulations. Thank you, Tom. Yeah, it's your idea. Thank you. Wow. It's my day at Studio G. I love it. Thank you.

I do feel very passionately about this product. I can tell. I know. And you know what I've discovered? And people, look, they tag me too. They go, they're like, I've got this or I bought it for somebody. And they're like, I love it. They love your product.

It's the best. Because what I've learned and when I was doing research on developing this formula and everything is how cheap the cosmetics industry is. Yeah. And I've bought the best of the best and I've bought the, you know, right aid brands. And you went to Italy. I went to Italy and I did it the right way and that's why it resonates. I think it's the right thing.

Sometimes when you, when you spend the money, it really does. Yeah. It's not fair what these companies are doing to people and what they'll do is they'll say, oh, it's vegan. It's cruelty for whatever. Just to get you to buy it. But then the product sucks. Shit.

Shit. And me, I'm pro-cruelty and that's why it's so good. I don't care. Test it on Bunny's eyes. I don't give a shit. Does it look good? Yes. Exactly.

You're going to like the way you look. The way about Italian wool. Now, let me say this. I am absolutely exhausted about talking about you. So now I, okay, now are you ready for this? Yeah. This is a YMH exclusive, YMH exclusive, YMH exclusive, YMH exclusive, YMH exclusive. You're going to die.

Okay. So, I go to South America, right? I go to South America and, man, it was a great, it was a great trip. It really was a great trip. So as you know, I have to give you kind of the backstory to lay this out correctly first. Okay. So as many people know, I'm not telling you anything new here, but just to lay this out. I grew up in a household with one foreign parent and one American parent.

And the reason I point that out, the reason I make that distinction is because it really does make a difference than when you grew up in a house with, let's say, two, two Spanish speaking, or two foreign speaking parents. So one means that I'm actually very much engrossed and immersed in American culture. All my, you know, most of my friends growing up in school are pretty much from American households. And I would meet kids like myself who had like one foreign parent. And I heard a lot of Spanish growing up.

And then I made kind of a leap when I used to go to South America as a kid. I spent my summers down there where my speaking just went much, much higher and I became much more fluent. And then I would say that the most fluent that I became was when I went and studied abroad in Madrid, because by that time, like I said, I had spent a lot of time in my summers in South America. And when I went to the University of Madrid, I actually, I didn't go to like a class for American kids.

I went to full like class with Spaniards. Oh my God. Did you do okay? Yeah. Did you follow? And I did comparative economics, Spanish art. I did like real classes, term papers. I lived with a lady who like the host lady was like this 70 year old lady who spoke zero

English. So it's full, full immersion, you know. So when I came back from that, that was six, seven months. I would say it's probably the best Spanish I spoke and I was 21 years old. One thing I took for granted and people even who are born in other countries. So it's their native language and move is that their, their primary language will deteriorate. You know what I mean? Like, like I remember, I know a guy who was born in Hong Kong and he moved to the States

40 years ago. His like Cantonese deteriorated because he didn't use it, you know. So one thing I took for granted was that I always just, you know, if someone says Spanish, I'm like, yeah, I speak Spanish and a few years ago, I just realized how much it had to deteriorate, right? So that's why I started doing the Spanish podcast. And I really enjoyed the fact that one thing, if you want to like see how, how this actually can work, watch just for like 30 seconds, Tom's a girl in Espanol episode one.

And then the last one that I just did with my mom. And you'll see a guy, same guy, probably two years apart, speaking wildly different levels of Spanish, because when I started it, it's when I realized I was like, holy shit, it has completely deteriorated. And then it made me kind of, that's why I started doing sets in Spanish. So I pushed myself to do it. I started hanging out with Spanish speaking people more. I started like interacting with my cousins more.

I just like started watching movies and TV shows. I was bothered that it had deteriorated so much and it has improved immensely in two years. It's not perfect by any means, but it's improved quite a bit in the last couple of years. So then we booked this tour. We're like, all right, go do these shows. I go do these shows down in South America. And like I said, I've become much more comfortable with my level of Spanish in the last, let's

say year. I go down there and like, you know, I just take my tour manager. I book local openers and we have a driver. We have security and my tour manager is English only speaking guy. So he's like, oh, we have a bilingual like drivers and all that stuff. We don't have bilingual. Everybody was like, hello, how are you doing? So I became our translator.

Oh my goodness. And we get there and it's like we're in Argentina and it's awesome. I fucking loved it down there. I absolutely loved it. I hadn't been there in 20 years. I had such a good time. So you know, from the moment I land, it's like the guy at the airport, the driver to the hotel, checking into the hotel, going to lunch, talking, all the conversations are

in Spanish, right? Like it means I'm speaking English basically like an hour a day to my tour manager and that's kind of it. So it's like day one, day two, day three, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish. Fourth day, I have a dream in Spanish. And then the transition happens where you know how part of routine is you, you'll have, you talk to yourself about conversations you're going to have, like you might be getting ready in the morning and go, when I get into work today, I need to tell Nadav that we have to

cover this and this topic and I don't want to forget. So I got to remember to tell him that, like those types of things, like the fifth day I start doing that in Spanish. So I start telling myself, you need to do blah, blah, blah and blah today and you need to tell the guy this, but I'm having that conversation to myself in Spanish. I catch myself having the conversation in Spanish to myself. So now it's like, you know, then we go to Chile, I'm there like day five, then I go to Peru, dude.

So it's like day seven or eight and I'm at the airport and I'm being taken through the airport by a, like an official, you know, from the airline. This guy's walking me through the airport and he's right before I go through security, he goes, and he's very professional, but he goes, oh, can I ask you a favor? And I go, yeah, sure, and he goes, would you sign an autograph for my wife? My wife's American and I told her I was escorting you today and she's a big fan. And I go, yeah, sure, man. So he has a backpack and he takes out this like photo of me, like a promotional photo

and he goes, she couldn't come to your show because she had to watch our daughter and so she was really sad, but she would really love that. I go, no problem. So he gives me a marker. I start writing to his, to his wife, the autograph. I forget her name, right? But I'm like, dear, blah, blah, blah. And I'm trying to write, you should have abandoned your daughter and come to the show.

And as I get to daughter, I forget how to spell daughter. I go, D-A, and then I'm like, you, and I go, how do you spell daughter? He's like, what? Because he's foreign. And I was like, it's D-A-U-G, and then I'm like, oh my God, I'm sitting here and I'm like, I had a Ellaria Baldwin moment and I've been mocking her relentlessly, including on the trip, when I'm on the trip, and I did press in Argentina in Buenos Aires, I spent 15 minutes catching them up on the Ellaria, but they were like, what?

And I'm like, this fucking dumb brat, and I do the whole thing. I couldn't remember how to spell daughter for a second. And did you go, how do you say? Yeah, I was like, how do you say daughter? And then I realized that, that like she actually, as much as I mocked her, she actually kind of had a point that if your brain is fully in, like, you know, like you're so concentrated in something that, now my accent didn't go, I wasn't like, aim, daughter, like, how do you say?

I wasn't like that. I was just like, oh, the spelling, it fucked me up, the A-U-G-H-T, I was like, wait a second, it fucked me up. And I had so much empathy for Ellaria, I wanted to actually, you know, reach out to her and tell her. Oh, okay. Are you going to reach out? Yeah.

And... Querida Ellaria. Le pido mil disculpas por, no sé, por todos los días que me volé de ti y por, bueno, ya sabes que te quiero mucho y no sé si era posible, pero si me perdonas, me siento muy, muy mal, pero a veces cuando alas solo un idioma por un rato, a veces te olvides de tu propia idioma, así que, bueno, te pido disculpas y espero que un día podemos hablar quizás en inglés. Wow.

Okay. That was fun watching you talk Mexican. Yeah. Did you do, you just ordered some talks or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, I also had never been in Mexico City. That's cool. Shit, huh?

Fuck. I had no idea. Yeah. I had no idea that it was like, I mean, it's right fucking there. It's so close. No, I'm saying, you know, it's like, it's so close. It's there's 28 million people in Mexico City. It's massive.

Geez. And also it's so, it's so developed. Yeah. It is so, like you turn down certain streets and it's like fucking rodeo drive in Mexico City. It's rad, huh? No idea. I was there when I was 12 and you seem to think that that doesn't count.

Why would that count? Was there when I was 12? You have strong memories. I do. Can I tell you my memory? I went to a cathedral that people pilgrimage on their knees to go to for miles and miles. And I went, I was in the church and in the back pew, there was a man sitting with his dick and bowls out of his pants.

Well, that's why you remember it. Of course. And I always have fun memories. What did he show you then? I think he was waiting for someone to look at them and get shocked, you know. Out of his shorts or what? Yeah. Out of his zipper.

Just his dick and balls. Oh, hanging out of his dick and... Yeah. Yeah. Did you see that guy when you went? I didn't see that guy. I didn't. I know.

The only, I understand your sympathy for Ilaria, the only thing I wish you would have done though is do the thing where you were like, how do you say, like make more accent, you know, like, oh, it's so embarrassing. How do you say... So there's been some questions about where I'm born. I'm born in Boston. And then I spent some of my childhood in Boston, some of my childhood in Spain. My family, my brother, my parents, my nephew, everybody is over there in Spain.

And now I'm here. And so there was like a lot of back and forth. That's swallowing. My entire life. And I'm really lucky that I grew up speaking two languages. Just like Tom. Yeah. Just like Tommy.

And you guys are so, like, one now. That was one thing. One thing. I think people ask sometimes about how I speak. I am that person that if I've been speaking a lot of Spanish, I, you know, tend to mix them. And I think I'm speaking more English. I do a lot of English, but I mix that.

L-O-L same. Lol. You guys are twins now. This is crazy. Yes. This is crazy. Tim the same. We're that bitch now.

Are you going to start doing that at home? We're like, who's deny? How do you say? Microwave. I don't know how to spell it. We have very few ingredients. We have tomatoes. We have a condescent cucumber.

How do you say in English? She said, how do you say in English? Yeah. She still took it too far. How do you say in English? How do you say, como se dice en español, pepino? Yeah. She took it a little too far.

How do you say, how do you say, hija, daughter? That's what I should have said. That's what I should have said. How do you say, hija, in English? Please. And then, motherfucker, the guy that asked me for the autograph was German, Chilean, and he speaks fluent German, fluent Spanish, and fluent English.

Isn't that amazing? Like just perfect, perfect, perfect. Everybody if not America, they speak so many more languages. All the, whenever you bring this up, everybody goes, why is this a fuck? Because everybody else is like, yeah, we speak four languages. I know. Us, we are just like,

I'm a donkey. English. Yeah. I speak English. Yeah, but we're like the dominant donkeys, you know. Well, that's the thing. When people go, why, why don't Americans? It's because Americans are, are like, we're taken care of in this regard.

Right. You're, you don't have to make the effort because the effort is made for you. People, English has become the world's dominant language. You can think. Therefore. You know who you can think? You can be lazy. You know who you can think?

Who? The queen. The Donald. Yeah. The Donald was like, here's the thing, you don't have to speak any other fucking, go ahead. He made that a lot. Okay. A world law.

No, you can think the monarchy. The monarchy. They created the commonwealths and they converted everything to Islam. But it was, what? What? English. There was a, there was real tit for tat for a while. Where?

No, I'm saying, you know, like the Spaniards, they conquered half the world. Yeah. And South America is basically all Spanish speaking. The Caribbean, you know, Spanish speak, most of it, Spanish speaking. Yeah. And if it could have been right there, Spanish has spoken in a lot of the world. That's true. I mean, if, if old mustache had had his way and then we'd be speaking, crowd everywhere,

you know. And that's a beautiful language. You know what I'm saying? If they had won. Oh, that mustache. Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

So, Charlie Chaplin had won the whole thing. We'd all be like, Guten Tag. Everywhere. Aufgestehen. Außen, Alten Tag und Juden. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a beautiful language. I studied German in college because I had to. I'd pick a language in my dumb ass. I should have chosen Spanish. You really should have. But I'm such a dope. Well, here's the thing.

There's languages that get you fucking nothing. Nothing. One of them is German. I know. It's only spoken there and in Austria and in parts of Switzerland. It's like, the fuck are you, are you working there or something? I know. Yeah.

Exactly. Or I've been like, I've been, you know, immersed on my phone at least with Italian for over a year and it's like, that'll get you fucking zero. It's just spoken there. You know, you should, we should start learning Chinese is actually what we should start learning. That is the one that, that's the one that'll help you the most. Mandarin or Cantonese. Yeah.

If you learn the frog, if you learn that, you know, it is, it has a few more locations you can use it. Like the Seychelles. Yeah. Like the, like some islands, right? Yeah. Maybe, I don't know, Porto Prince. Yeah.

You can go to Haiti. It'd be great. Go to Haiti. There's very few. Montreal. Montreal. Yeah, that's true. Montreal.

Yeah. I think Chinese is the future. You know that the Parisians think that the people in Montreal are, they speak French and pigs. Yeah. They're like, what that donkey shit you're speaking, leave it at the door. Yeah. I know it's funny because Americans get a lot of flack for being very nationalistic

and we're such, and we are fucking obnoxious with the war number one stuff, but the French are kind of assholes too with their whole, we're the best at everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, here's the reason people are really mad when you're an American and you lean on number one. Okay. It's because you are. So like, no, really, it's like.

Still though? I'm saying if you come from the wealthiest, most powerful country that has the most dominant military. Right, right, right. And then you go, hey, where the, everyone goes like, you don't have to say it. It's rude. Yeah. It's obnoxious.

Yeah. Because it's already, everybody knows you have this power. You're coming from a powerful. It's like if you came from like, if you're like Jeff Bezos kid and you're like, we got the fucking most money by, and everyone's like, yeah, I know, but you don't have to say it. Everybody already knows. That's true.

Why did we start doing that? It's obnoxious. I don't know. I have a feeling it started with the 80s and like the Olympics around that time, Cold War. That's really probably. That was a biggie. Because that's actually when you're like, which way is better? East or west.

Yeah. And we were west coast. Yeah. Yeah. So good. Yeah. It's kind of the. Look at communists.

I know. So because nobody gets mad if somebody from like, you know, an underdeveloped central American or African country goes, we're the best. Everybody cheers because they know the struggle of that country. You know, so you go like, let them sing and dance and everyone lets them celebrate that. That's true. And we did win the Cold War and that's why we are number one. I forgot.

So actually I take it back. Come on. We have some breaking news. We're number one. Excuse me. What are you saying? Can I tell you something? Why?

Listen, for some reason, my brain works in such a way. I'm built in such a way that like, I understand things on a surface level and then one day I wake up and that shit is like inside of me, the wisdom, the knowledge, do you know what I mean? Fucking any knows what I'm talking about. Thank you. Thank you. Well, you're like, okay, it's not just a surface thing.

It's in my fucking cellular level now. Like I get it. I see the matrix. I get it. And now I just put that shit together. Like the 80s weren't just about, yeah, America literally like we defeated the East. We fucking prevailed over communism, Brew. Capitalism won.

That's a massive Herculean under a victory. We are number one. We fucking won. America is a great place to be. I don't know if we're going to win the second time around. I don't know if we're going to win the second time because these fucking commies are still riling everything up, the Chinese, the Koreans and the Putin's North Korea, North Korea. Okay.

Doesn't look good for the second time around is what I'm saying. We got to be real careful. It doesn't look good. Even though I have been on TikTok in North Korea is not as bad as people say. That's true. Yeah. Well, I'd say it's a very nice place to visit. They have guided tours.

I wonder when the US is going to start like changing the discrimination laws and saying like, you know what? You don't have to sell. But you're allowed to not sell your property to Chinese people. I think it's coming pretty soon actually. I really do. Well, they're not going to call. They have to find something sneaky.

They'll find some way around it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like when we were surveilling everybody after 9-11, but it's the Patriot Act or something, they'll call it like Operation Protecting Freedom or something. The Protecting Protection Capitalism. Operation No Asian Households.

Yeah. So I guess I'm supposed to watch this clip of you having a great discovery. This is a great discovery clip. Can I tell you something? Yeah. Remember how painful and awful it was for you to celebrate my lipstick and how great the choice that was to make? Yeah.

And that left a bad taste in your mouth. No, it didn't. Stop. This will revitalize and give you new perception of how retarded your wife is. You're going to like the way you look. I guarantee it. Here we go. Watch this clip.

It's so embarrassing. Nerds. Any. Do you know? There's like nerd computers. Like nerds don't use Apple. They use like this fucking... Lennox.

Yeah. Yeah. He's like, it's called a Leviathan or Levan. Yeah. I was like, what kind of shit is it? He's like, oh, it's for coding. Yeah. It's particular.

You can blow the frame and the thing. And I was like, dude, how do you know about it? It's like a whole underground nerd society. You guys have your own nerd shit. Wait, so you're surprised that there's computers other than... Just for coding. Just for code, for making games and gaming. Are you sure that's 100% what that is?

It's just a computer that's only made for coding? No, not only, but it's like, it's more... It's just like a PC, right? Yeah. It's a PC. It's an IBM, but I didn't know. It was called... Yeah.

Okay. It's called a Lenovo. You ever heard of it? What? Is that like really popular? Yeah. They have kind of a different reputation. What is it?

What is it? What is it? What is it? Can I tell you something? Yeah. I'm still not sure why they were laughing. I'm just filming that yesterday. I'm still not sure what the funny, funny was.

Well... Can you explain it to me why I'm so forwarded? Well, you ever heard of Chevy? Yes. I mean, it's... Was that the first you've ever heard of Lenovo? Yes. What about Dell?

I've heard of Dell. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, I was at the nerd place with our kid, the coding place, and I go, oh, my kid has an iPad, should I be getting him a computer? And I looked at his computer and I go, Lenovo, I've never even seen that before, dude. And he was super sweet.

He was like a sweet nerd and he wrote down what I should look into for our kid. That's the first time I've seen that. You know, all like real code writers and people who are like really into like computer, software, writing stuff, they're never on Macs. Right. I just put that together. Yeah. I just thought that Macs dominated the world now.

Well, Macs are like dominant in, for sure, where you're from in the West Coast, like entertainment people use Macs a lot. Macs are very popular with editing. Yeah. I mean, a lot of editing is done on Macs, but like I said, like if you're talking about like writing, like coding, software, gaming, like serious gamers will be on PCs. Yeah. But a Lenovo?

I'd never heard of such a thing. Yeah. Sorry. We edit on PCs here. Right. Like half computers in the building. But I've never seen a, I know what a PC is, a Lenovo. Oh, I thought this says CP, scratch your cooch to the left.

It says scooch to the left. Scratch your cooch to the left. I'm like, why was he telling me to scratch my cooch? I just never heard of that brand. Yeah. It's so funny. You've known about this forever? I mean, like, look, I don't have one, but I've definitely seen that name.

Sure. It's been in the culture for a while. Oh my God. Sure. Like, so it is as stupid as me being like, hey, have you guys heard of a truck called a Chevy? I mean. I've never heard.

I was like, oh no, no. Have you guys heard of the coffee called Starbucks? Here's the thing. I actually feel like now that we're talking about it, there probably would be a good, there's a chunk of the population who definitely knows what a Chevy is, who doesn't know what a Lenovo is for sure. Never heard of a Lenovo. But what it'd be described as like, did you know that there's this vehicle that's used

for all sorts of, it's like special just for terrain, just any terrain you want to drive on. No. It's a mechanics car. I hadn't heard of a Lenovo. You hadn't? I hadn't. That's the smartest person on our staff.

Don't chat. Everyone was like laughing in the booth and I'm like, yeah, that's funny. Wait, wait. You hadn't heard of it until that moment? Until that moment, yeah. Oh, wow. So there you go. Dude, smart Chad.

That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. But not nerd Chad. No, not nerd Chad. Yeah. Chad and I are way too cool. Chad's a cat guy. Yeah.

Chad's like a little more savvy than, you know what I mean? You know he's younger and hipper, I stay home with two kids most of the time. But you want to talk some shit about Bluie? No, I'm saying it makes sense to me that you want to talk about Bluie. I can tell you all fucking bingo and roly on puppy dog pals. You want to talk about cartoons, bitch? I know about cartoons. I went to fucking Bluie's house in Brisbane.

That's right. Talking to me about Bluie. Want to talk about Bluie? Bluie's fucking house. The healers? Huge fans. Yeah. You guys know fucking Bluie in there?

No, I didn't think so. Those kids stuff? Yeah. I do know about Bluie. Yeah. Because of my niece and nephew. I told you. Because of my niece and nephew.

That ain't the dude from Blue's Clues, right? We passed that? We passed that. Blue's Clues. Old news. Well, I'm glad this Marchhead doesn't know. Do you guys have the Novos? No.

I did like 10 years ago. You did. That's all. I mean, I was a Mac person. It's older than that. I was a Mac person until, like, I started editing and, like... But a lot of people do edit on Macs. Yeah.

But then, like, you know, outside of nerd shit, like, PCs became easier to edit on. And then, any built my... So now I have a PC at home and that any built for me. Oh, really? Like, years ago, and it's still chugging. So what software do you edit on? Still Premiere. Still Premiere.

Like, it's all compatible. It's still Premiere and Premiere. Okay. Very good. Very good reference. So, but do people still use Final Cut? Final Cut's kind of, like, bottom tier now. Like...

Really? Yeah. What about Avids? Are those still popular? That's old. And Final Cut... Like, in terms of, like, industry standards, I think, like, Final Cut Express is kind of like lower tier, I think.

I think in film, avid is still kind of at the top, yeah. Okay. All right. There you go. I have one more retarded thought. Okay. Or we can push it to the next app. No, please go right ahead.

So, Apropos are a discussion that I didn't know the difference between Lions and Tigers. Yeah. I actually thought, hold on. Yeah. What I really... I did know the difference, because I did clarify. I rewatched the episode, and I was able to decipher the difference between Lions and Tigers.

It's not that I don't know the difference between Lions and Tigers. It's that I don't know the difference between Cheetahs and Leopards. Really? Can't tell them apart. Can you tell them apart? I believe that I can. Yeah. Well, let's fucking look it up, because I feel as though their print is very similar,

no? I mean, yeah, similar, but, you know... I mean, they look similar or shit. Well, here's the thing, Cheetahs always have this thinner, like the thinner hind area, you know, where like their back dips, they usually have a thinner frame, yeah, they are, they're a little leaner. The prints, look at the... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you see them side by side there, so the leopard is larger, you know, head size torso is bigger, and that print design is a bigger spot, those Cheetah spots are smaller, but generally when you see a Cheetah walking, just even walking, you can note right away once you've seen it, you're like, that's just by their body type. Beautiful, though, aren't they? Yeah, they have a longer kind of leaner, it kind of adds up when you realize how much faster they are, you're like, oh yeah, you can't, if you were carrying a ton of weight, you would be able to run this fast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As fast as a Cheetah. Yeah. That's so pretty, isn't it? Yeah. I wish we owned them. I mean, the leopards too, a leopard will take its kill and can climb up a tree with an antelope in its mouth, and a cheetah doesn't do that.

Cheetah won't do that, but why can't the cheetah do that? It's also... Probably has to do with strength and body weight, I'm assuming, yeah. Right, because that guy, the other guy, the leopards probably stronger, and more muscular, and that guy is more of a sprinter, he's a long and lean, he's a runner. Sprint and hauls ass. Yeah. Gotcha.

Wow, that's so cool. My entire... You know what else you said? The last time we talked about Cheetahs, I was like, those things can hit 70 miles an hour, and you're like, I don't think a person can do that, right? No. No, I go, can a person run that fast? No.

There's some fast dudes, but they're not that fast. You didn't tell me, so what's the fastest human out there? Like who's the... I mean, in a sprint, so these are for a moment, right? Yeah. I mean, there's probably a human being that can hit, like, yeah, I was gonna say, upper 20s. That's bullshit.

Yeah. Yeah, Usain Bolt. Yeah. I was gonna guess, like, 28 to 30. That's like bullshit. That's like a golf cart, dude. No, that's booking. 27 miles an hour is booking, yeah, and that's faster than a golf cart, yeah.

That golf cart that we were on, that thing hit, because it had this, but I'm the reading on the thing, 17, 18, so it's 10 miles an hour faster than... Okay, so it's faster than a golf cart. That'd be really fun to have a human outrun a golf cart, like just to do it as a challenge. No one on want to see it, though, I'm saying, like, we need to find somebody that can do it. Well, as Usain Bolt, as the world's fucking fastest man, so it'd be hard to track him down.

Let's find him. Hey, man, we want to do a bit, like... I know you're all busy running and stuff. Yeah, I give you $2 million, so I'm gonna raise your golf cart. Okay. It'd be kind of worth it, no? He's so fast. Think about that, though.

That's the fastest dude running 27 and a half miles per hour, and that's what he reaches, right? He hits it, and then you go down, and that cheetah can get, like, 68 miles an hour. Like 40 miles an hour faster than that. That's crazy. It's fucking so crazy. I want to see a cheetah run in real life. You can.

Well, in real life, you can go on a safari, but, I mean, look at a clip of one. Just look at a clip. It's so crazy. You can do a cheetah sprinting clip. I mean, it's got to be thousands of them out there. It is majestic to see those things haul ass, you know? Yeah, they're cool as fuck. I mean, there's nothing like, yeah, make it a full screen.

Look how fucking beautiful these things are. Beautiful. See, hiding? Look at those. The shoulders go up. Oh, get out of there, you fucking dummies. And then it's just, he's looking for the slow poke. Oh, I see you.

Kill, kill, kill, kill. Look at those hind legs. You're right. Look at that. Look how much faster he's going than any of them. I mean, it's just like, look at that. Oh, it's stunning. And it gazelles so fast, too, shit.

Yeah, not compared to him, it's not. Oh, get it. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Over. Over. You know what's wild, too? Is that, you know, genetics and nature are so fascinating. These animals instinctively know to crush their neck. Isn't that wild? Yes. They know instinctively to, like, suffocate you, and that's where to do it.

Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy, dude. Yeah. That's crazy. Look at that motherfucker go. Oh, my God. It's wild. Look at him.

He's like, there's, you know, I don't have to worry about you. I know you're going to be right here. Right here. Yeah, he's not even, he's not even worried. No, he's chilling. Yeah. He's not even like. That's a young one.

Yeah, he's got a thumb. Yeah. You like the young one. That thing, you're right. That antelope is hauling ass. Yeah, they're fast as shit. They're so, they're so petrified that they stumble, too, you know, that thing coming after you.

Look at that physique, the way it. It's just. Oh, my God. You're dead, motherfucker. Yeah, you don't have a chance. They don't have a chance. Shot, homie. No.

What if that thing was running after you? It'd be over very fast. Yeah. How often do they kill humans, I wonder? He went ahead of this one. Look at that. He's running ahead of it and then turning around and facing it like, what's up, bitch? Yeah.

It's like a NFL wide receiver, like going back into the end zone. Yeah. Damn, yeah. Anyways, it'd be cool to go on a safari and watch that, wouldn't it? It would be amazing. Yeah. Let's do it. You have to go to, like, Kenya, right?

I don't know if you're going to do it in Kenya. The dove goes, why am I on a trip? Yeah, we're going to fly all of you Africa. We all need the team there. It's an extremely. So that we can all see the difference between cheetahs and jaguars in person. It's very costly. They can defend you if it's a trap.

It is a costly trap. It's so expensive to go on safari, isn't it? You know what? Maybe we'll do it. Maybe we'll do it. It'd be kind of rad. It'd be kind of cool. It'd be kind of cool.

But who do we let the cheetah eat first? That would be fun to watch the cheetah chase a staff member, wouldn't it? And also, like, I think we have to bring any because anytime there's like, hey, what's up with these white folks, I'd be like, talk to him. Any time we're cool. And then, oh, it's all down. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, he'd do. He'd represent. And then they'd be like, we have to kill one of them. Then we go to the dove. We push the dove to the front. Then we'd be like, kill him. We sacrifice him. That'd be fun to go to Africa for that.

We've been to Africa. We've been to South Africa. I've been to Northern. I've been to Djibouti. Yeah. Somalia. I've been to Ethiopia. I think that's more considered just East Coast.

East Coast. I've been to North Africa and South Africa. Yeah. Tunis and South Africa. I know. I know. You love talking about it. Fucking whore.

Slut with her leather bikini, gave you AIDS. We all live our lives now. There's just so much in this episode, so many good things, Tom. Yeah, I know. I'm so excited. We're going to do next. Can I have a wipe you to clean this? Right now?

Yeah. I like to wear these. Okay. That's how you clean that? I guess. I don't know. How am I supposed to fucking do this? You sandwiched the lens on both sides.

Oh. Does this get effected? Fucking A. You're like, do you pop lenses out of your glasses all the time? Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something? We can go back into the show, by the way. Okay.

Can I tell you something? Yeah. Like real talk? Real talk. I really have accepted the fact that I'm a space alien from another planet, and like, I'm good. I'm cool with it. There's some basic stuff I'll never know, and I'll never know how to do, and I'm good.

I'm just from another planet, dude. That's what you're accepting? I've been trying to, I've been in a normal person's skin my whole life. It's not working out for me. I just got to surrender to the fact that I'm fucking non-normal. Weird. Yeah. What's making you think this?

I guess a collection of things. It's a collection of things, man. The dove was like, you can sandwich the lens in between. I was like, oh yeah, dude. I just don't think like that, you know? I don't know. I'm fucking, I'm from Planet Eclare, I mean. Yeah.

You're a strange bird. I'm from another fucking planet, man. Yep. You ready? Oh, so much crisper and clearer. Oh, yeah. Do you remember that commercial? Everything's so much crisper and clearer.

The blue lockers. Now you look like a real fucking broad, yeah. A what? New York broad. Okay. Yeah. So this is a kind of a cool YMH themed news article. I've shared the fact that I have found myself aroused on airplanes.

Yes. Here's a woman who has revealed that she's in a sexual relationship with aircrafts. She has taken 30 mini vacations in the last year just to share this guys with her soulmates. Sarah Roto, 23. Oh my God, I was expecting an old lady. Like an old family. But after experiencing turbulence while trying to date fellow humans, she discovered true love while on her first ever flight aboard a Boeing 737.

Look it. Since then, she has met many planes, which she considers to be one collective being named Dickie. She adds that she finds the wings of the planes of the sexiest and size doesn't matter. I currently own three large models, but I also have small models over 60 in total. They are custom made to show the larger models measuring between 49 and 63 inches long. That's very long for a plane. Roto who said she spent nearly $4,267 on model airplanes revealed that she identifies as

objective sexual. This particular love match occurs when individuals develop strong sexual or romantic feelings for a specific inanimate object. The only sad thing is that I can't be alone with a real plane. I flew a lot in the last year to be with a Boeing as often as I possibly could. I took about 30 flights and always combined it with a city trip or vacation. I traveled to all these different cities. I often visited, what is it, Katowice and Poland as a day tour.

Despite not being able to share a loantown with a plane, she makes up with it by sleeping with all of her favorite models, her model airplanes. She has five different airplane tattoos on her body. And currently there are small planes to get married to the 737 series. However, I will not move abroad. In the meantime, I have my models and we'll continue going out on trips to hang out with planes. Wonderful.

It's just a great, it's such a great update to know that there's always something for everyone. Well, I will say that probably having a relationship with an airplane is easier than any human. And she can shove those in her pussy and makes her feel good and in her asshole and that's fantastic. She can make them any size, shape, whatever. This is actually, because we've seen the documentary where people are into buildings or cars and it's hard to fuck a building or a car, I imagine.

But the airplane, peanut butter and chocolate, you know what I mean? Perfect pairing. Yeah, I mean, look at the way she's mounting that one right now. That's what I'm saying. She's already fine. She shows you how she's fucking. I mean, yeah. You think that tail fin is uppercut right now?

She's preparing herself. Or you think she's just going to just rub her, kooch? She's rubbing and then she'll insert the front if I'm being, if I can speculate. Yeah, sure. That's cool. Listen, I'm all four of loving. I don't think, I've seen, that's lovely. I think it's great.

Yeah. I mean, if you're, you know, you have problems with people, I like this over people just masturbating to porn. Does that make sense? At least she's in some sort of an emotional attachment. It's far more entertaining. The thing is that when you hear about somebody masturbating to porn, it's like, whatever. Like, you know, it's not news.

So many people do it. It's like, it's just played out, you know? Played out. Yeah. This, I'm fucking on an airplane. It's exciting. It is pretty damn cool. That's pretty cool.

And I like the blind guys approach too, because that's more interactive as well, like I'd like to see you. That is, that is my favorite thing I've ever seen. Ever. I've had an hour of that guy. I know. He's like, how'd you pee today? Yeah.

Can you please describe it? Oh, man. Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait. I do feel like you and I have a similar dynamic where I'll be like, did you make a brown and then you'll describe it to me? Yeah. Like you and I kind of do a little version of that, but not erotic.

No. It's more like, did you shit? Yeah, I shit. I was a sloppy. It's definitely not erotic. It's definitely not erotic. It's not at all. A few weeks ago, we actually went, a clip from the show went viral.

Yeah. That was about washcloths. It was everywhere. It was on Worldstar. It was on Black Culture News. I got tagged fucking 10,000 times and it was in it from an episode that was actually had already aired like a few weeks or a month prior or something and people snipped this clip of us talking about washcloths being for pores.

You know, what's funny is that it started, I think you go, do you wash your legs and feet? I go, no, I'm not black because on a previous episode, we talked about who washes their legs and feet. And I think it was only any that said he did, but he wasn't there that day so that it looked like, you know, I was making a shout out to any, but he wasn't there. Anyway, this clip, I was like, you know, in the clip, I go, no, I don't think it's for, but I do think it's for pores.

I go, I think, you know, poor people use washcloths and dude, it went everywhere. And a lot of people commented, I mean, a lot, I mean, thousands and like notable people like rappers, actors, you know, activists, big time blacks, like, yeah, the game. Wow, really? Yeah. I even know who that is. I know who that is. Yeah, yeah.

He was like, these motherfuckers smell like hotdog water. That's amazing. So many people. So all these people use washcloths. Can I tell you? I tell you the only like super disappointing thing. A couple of comedians were like, what's this all about? And I'm like, you don't.

You don't run out. No, no, like you don't, you don't, I don't even want to explain it like you don't see what's going on. Like you don't follow this. Yeah, super late. I mean, the next sentence, I was like, I've, I've ended friendships over washcloths. Like that's the next thing I say. And I have comedians going like, can't believe this is how this dude talks.

So stupid, it is a silly topic. I mean, it's guys, we're discussing who uses what it's, it's not. So there's the joke part of it. Now here's the serious part of it. Stupid idiots. Washcloths are for poor people. So we got, we know that that's just facts, bro. Got an email because listen, this, the, the, the print, what's his name?

King Charles. Does he use a washcloth? No. No. No. Here's a, here's an email we got. Hello, Tom and Christina. Let me start off by saying what a big fan I am of you both.

That being said, I have a thought on the washcloth debate. I am a native Houstonian who has been using a washcloth his entire life. I feel this could be a byproduct of being raised by parents who are raised extremely poor in Southwestern rural Virginia, you don't say almost all of my extended family worked in coal mines or something that supported the mines. I think poor white trash, AKA my family grew up doing hard manual labor that would leave you extremely dirty, therefore needing a scrubbing device when washing yourself. I myself make car mechanic and after a hard day's work, washing myself with just a bar

of soap usually doesn't cut it. See that I do understand, but if you don't do mechanics work, usually just a little soap in the hand will leave your hands clean, right? Yeah. Dirt bag. Well, Yana, might I point out my father was a forklift mechanic. Can you just put a little bit of soap in his hand? Yeah, so what he had in his shop at the end of the day because his hands were covered

in oil as well, you have like a special sink and there's like a chemical, a type of special soap. Yes, it's a special soap they use in mechanics. That washes it off, so you don't, wait, maybe he's too poor to afford the special soap. Maybe. But my dad never used a fucking washcloth, that's for sure. Well, he also owned the place.

Now, am I correct in feeling this way, or am I just a poor white trash that had a generational skip? Anyway, sorry to ramble just my thoughts, curious what you think, piss on me, beat me, love you. Now, I think you're spot on, oh yeah, there is that stuff, that lava stuff is very popular. All the stuff. It's literally just a type of soap that'll get that grease off better than regular soap. It's really a specialized type of soap.

It is. You have dollars on Amazon and you don't need to use a washcloth like a disgusting animal. Here you go. Here's what I'm prepared to do. I am prepared to launch an actual investigative piece on what's going on with washcloths and whether or not it is for the poor's or for everybody. And I have a feeling we're going to get to the bottom of this, so just keep your eyes open.

I'm going to be talking to some folks. I only have one friend use washcloths and when she would stay with me, she'd say, can I have a washcloth? And I say, I don't have washcloths. There's no washcloth. Use your hand, dummy. I remember the, I really do remember the first time, the first time, is that I crashed at a poor friend's house and then he handed over like a towel after the shower and then

it bars up and then a little when I go, what's the little towel? He goes, a washcloth? And I go, I threw it back at him like, I'm good. And he was like, well, you can't, may we do a little investigating? Is that okay now? Or do you want to save this for your piece? Whatever you want to do. Can you Google like washcloth royalty or is it, does it come from a regal thing or does

it come from the poor thing? Because it could come from like a regal thing and the poor think they're being regal by doing it. I don't know. I don't know. I think you'd have to actually Google like origin. I can't ask him to do it. I got to do my own research and a dog isn't the one to ask.

I literally typed in what you said. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I would have, I was being fucking, yeah, etymology, 1861, back in the day when people didn't even have soap, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Old English to wash, cleanse, bathe, transit, oh, come on. Yeah, no, we're not going to, this is not going to be fun to do it this way.

This is not fun. Okay. Let me work on that piece for you. Do a real piece. Yeah. Yeah. Think piece, if you will. Yeah.

I think, I think that, that thing might go viral too. Okay. So good, Tom. Yeah. Yeah. People are very upset. Very upset. Very upset.

Yeah. Very upset. Good, good. Get upset about that. Yeah. Makes sense. Oh, you had a, you were adamant that I needed to watch this, so let me check this out. You can tell.

Which one? Make sure you tell the audience what's happening. What I like to do is start by just putting some hot water, okay, sporting it onto my scalp. Can I set it up? This is, so, you know, this is our discussion that we had last time about how do astronauts ejaculate in space? How are you masturbating? Your balls are all backed up.

It's not like. Yeah. You don't go up there for four to eight hours. You stay up there for like months. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So this is a very important question that we need answers to.

Now I couldn't find a direct clip about ejaculating in space, but I did find one where this woman, this astronaut, is in space and she's showing us how she shampoos her hair and go ahead. It is quite an elaborate process. Yeah. So right now, for those listening, she has like a bag. Oh, it's terrible. That she has a straw, let's say, attached to it. Right, man.

And she's like, I'm putting hot water, warm water in my hair, and it's just like. And it's just floating. Sometimes the water gets away from you. Your face is all red. It's terrible. You try and catch as much as you can. Yeah, there's bubbles of it flying around. And I just work the water up through to the ends of my hair.

And I take my no-rin shampoo, and I squirt it also on the scalp just a little bit. And that's going to float away too. Sometimes I'll actually take my comb down to help work it all the way to the ends. And I like to take my towel while I have the shampoo in there and just kind of work it. Jesus. It looks terrible. Because without standing under running water, you kind of need to use the towel a little bit to help get some of the dirt out.

Yeah. I mean, it actually feels kind of squeaky clean right now compared to before. I think that's pretty good. And now as my hair dries, as the water evaporates from my hair, it will become humidity in the air and then our air conditioning system will collect that into condensate and it won't be long. And our water processing system will turn that into drinking water. That's wild.

Do you think she would fall in love with me if we were on the special together? Why? Why would you say that? Because you don't have hair? No. What? I don't know. You don't wash your hair.

What the hell does that have to do with my hair? I don't know. I don't know. Go ahead. No, I meant she's isolated in space and I'm the other man on the ship. Do you think that she would be like, oh, Tom, and I don't know shit about space and she'd be like, I can teach you. Yes.

And may I say that, so I heard a story that ER doctors, because they're in such a heightened place on ER staff, tend to fuck a lot. Yeah, that makes sense. Trauma. It's like they're around trauma. I think when you're in an environment that's the opposite of trauma, that's the most boring occupation on the planet, actually not on the planet. You know what I mean?

You're fucking bored. Bored. But also. You're going to be horny. I think she's bored, but she's also going to see this, a guy, me or another guy who's like, God, my balls are all achy, you know? You keep leaning back, you're like, God, I'm so backed up. And then she was like, look, I mean, just like for scientific purposes, you should do

this. She's like, would it help you to concentrate more? And I'd be like, yeah, I don't think so. I gotta do this equation. Yeah, yeah. But how do you fucking space? I don't know. Because how do they, because like, it's, you're constantly floating, so you may have to like

tether yourself to something and the other guy tethers himself and then, and then you meet and you fuck. I don't know. How do you fuck? There's nothing here. And I think, I think we actually need to put the resources of YMH towards something here, okay? And let me tell you something.

I'm speaking honestly here and I'm speaking from the heart, okay? No one's talking about this. No one's talking about ejaculating in space. And so what we need you to do, we need you to tag NASA and we need you to tag Elon Musk, SpaceX, and we need you to say, we want Tom to come in space. How can we make this happen? I'm volunteering to go up there. Well, listen, you've come everywhere, but you haven't come in space.

And I think coming in space will be a nice end to your world tour. And then you get to do it up in the sky. And also, I'm willing, like, I'm not a adult performer. I'm willing to be on camera so that we can study the effects, you know, and like, we'll capture it and we'll see it and we'll see if it goes through the filtration system and turns into drinking water. I don't know what's going to happen with it, you know, I know it's going to be a lot. So much.

Yeah. And because you saw her when she was doing the wet, she put the jizz in her hair and then, and the water droplets, she had to like catch the water drop, imagine this, how are you going to catch the calm unless you put like an attachment on the guy that'd be like, you know, this is kind of worth exploring. Like he's fun. He likes, you know, he's, he's, he's down for a good time. Elon, are you watching this?

Come on, Elon. Listen, can I tell you why I know he might be game? Why? I watched the SpaceX documentary and he even said, he's like, I designed the rocket to look like a big penis. I know. He's got a great sense of humor. And also, hey, Elon, you know, have you seen anybody else do this?

No, you'd be the first again. You're always the first at things. Why don't you be the first to send a guy up there to JSD and see what happens. You're hearing Austin, buddy. Let's fucking hang out. Let's talk about it. Yeah. What's so hard?

Do you? Cost you a couple bucks. It's nothing. It's nothing to you. Come on. It's nothing to you. It's great promotion for SpaceX. Can you hit it?

Can you guys do me a favor? Can you just hit up Elon and NASA and see who responds? We want time to come in space. We do. Okay, but here's the thing. What if it's a commercial for SpaceX? And as you're finishing, you're like, SpaceX. Yeah, I'll do that.

I'll do that. If you want me to do an ad read while it's happening, I'll do it. SpaceX. SpaceX. Yeah. Oh, yeah. SpaceX. Yeah.

That would be great. Yeah. People would love it. One small stroke for mankind, one big stroke for SpaceX. Yeah. Yeah. They will not be a disappointing amount, I promise you that. It won't be.

And by the way, it'll reinvigorate America's interest in space travel again. And you realize, once I do that, and I come back down here, I'm going all in on only, like I'm going to be jerking off on camera all the time. I mean, if I've already done it and the world knows about it and sees it, I'm not going to be like, oh, I'm hiding it now, you know, from the start shooting content. What's the cat's out of the bag? Yeah, cat. Yeah.

But what if we blurred your penis, but didn't blur the giz, because really what's interesting is the giz drops, what happens to that? If it ruins the equipment, crash the space shuttle. That's true. Oh, and then it's going to lead to, like, circle jerks of guys. You know what I mean? Like, you know how porn always escalates and builds on itself? Yeah.

Like, one guy jerks in space, and then it's like a 10-year-old jerking space. What if he doesn't tell me? But as soon as, like, I'm done and I'm, like, laying there, and there's giz floating everywhere? Like these doors open and three other astronauts come out, and they're all, like, and they're like, what the fuck? And he's like, yeah, joke's on you, Tom. Oh, my God. Oh, God.

This is such a great idea. Yeah. I'm so excited. Pretty cool. The greatest comedy tour in history, with the biggest finish. Yeah. It is out of this world. It's out of this world.

Yeah. You can make it, like, a pay-per-view. You can stream it. You can charge people admission to watch. That's pretty cool. What would you have to bring with you to finish? Just a lot of pressure, yeah. I think I need some visual aids.

You'd have to watch pornography on your phone. Probably. Yeah. And I don't think my Wi-Fi would be good. I'd probably have to download some stuff before I get it. Oh, yeah. There's no Wi-Fi in space, huh? Well, actually, those things are so state-of-the-art, but I think it's probably best to be like,

hey, why don't you save some things to your computer? Wait a minute. I have the dumbest question. Go ahead. How does the spaceman talk to Houston? They don't use the Wi-Fi. Is it, like, supercharged radio, like, satellite? Oh, I think it's satellite, yeah.

Satellite radio? Satellite. But they're doing that shit in the 60s, bro. Well, the satellites are right next to them. They're out there in space. Satellite. Satellite's, like, right over there, you know? They could even do that shit in the 60s.

Talk to fucking Houston from outer space. It's crazy. Right? Yeah. They probably were using a Lenovo. But isn't that trip you out, like, they put a man on the moon in the 60s, but they didn't even have a microwave oven yet in your fucking house? I know.

Yeah. That guy on the, well, of course, if you believe you landed on the moon. Such nonsense. Deep shit. Yeah. Stupid bitch. Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. That's why we're number one, though, we beat the Russians. The Ruskies? Yeah. They had a cosmonaut. They were the first to launch a dog in space or whatever. Cosmonaut.

They also had the guy that burned up. The one that burned up on the way in. That was really sad. Oh, I'm sad. He knew he was going to burn up. He did. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's why he swapped the guy out.

He was like, no, no, no, no. He had the other guy stay. Aw. Yeah. They say Putin loses sleep every night over it. He's so sad. Such a kind soul. That guy's tired for nothing.

Yeah. Broken heart. Oh, yeah. He cries himself to sleep every night or stuff, huh? Every night. I can't believe how mean I am. Yeah, I can't believe how mean I am. That's what he says all the time.

I'm kind of a jerkface. I'm still thinking about how good those sneezes were earlier. They were so powerful. Enjoy your body's functioning so much. Yeah. I don't know why, but I don't enjoy my body functions the way you do. How do you not enjoy a good sneeze? I feel like my body functions are a hassle.

And everything around maintaining is a hassle. Nope. Don't love it. Do you like to sneeze? Yeah. I love sneezing, but sometimes when I sneeze a whole bunch in a row, my arms go numb. Really? Does everyone else have that?

No. No, but I do have such powerful sneezes that it creates gas like chest. I mean, because the air leaves at such a rate that I'll have to belch. It's so cool. Like sometimes a minute after a sneeze, I'll be like, oh man, I guess, and then it's like, I have to belch. Man, bodies are like, cool and stuff. You're not stupid.

Sometimes I get like that awesome headbuzz where you're like, ah, you know, like where I feel like I just fried like a thousand brain cells and I'm like, whoa. Ever passed out from like having a sneezing fit? No, but I've had some that are uncontrollable fits before I've sneezed, you know, 20 times in a row. Do you like that? That's probably too much, but I like, I like having a few. I like a few and I like, I like sneezing with like reckless abandon.

Like in other words, open space where you don't have to be like, oh excuse me, like where you can just like outside, there's no one around and you can just let it like, you know what I mean? Like really go out there. You can go to that home. Well, no, at home. I mean, I've seen it like shoot onto stuff. I'm talking about if you're outside in a parking lot or whatever, you just like, wow, you just

let that shit come out with complete violence and no regard for where it goes. That feels good. It sounds exciting. It's like pissing outdoors. It just feels great. Now here's a question. Yeah. You love sneezing.

Yeah. You love coming. Sure. Do you ever. Wow. Sneezing and coming at the same time. Can you? No, but that, that might be my only fans when I get back from space.

And then I'll send recordings to the blind guy. I got snot all over my chest and jizz all over the floor. I don't think you can sneeze and come at the same time. Don't let me know where you are. Because those are two, two reflexes now, like. I think it would be difficult. Yeah. I don't think you can do much while you sneeze.

You hear me? Yeah. I think so. I think you're right. He doesn't listen. When you sneeze, you don't listen. He bothers me. Like we were having a pre-show meeting and you can't sneeze and you don't listen.

I think you would stop, you would stop doing it. If you sneeze, you'd stop coming basically. Right. I think you can only sneeze. I'm saying that your body can only handle one involuntary reflex at a time. Yeah. Like that's all you're doing. When you're sneezing, you're just sneezing.

True. Like you can't shit and sneeze or piss and sneeze. Wow. Don't you have to stop pissing to sneeze? Well, yeah. That muscle like cuts off for a second. Yeah. No, if like if you're pissing.

Oh, did I just break your mind? No, no, no. I've pissed and sneezed at the same time and it's horrific. It's horrible. It's horrible. Yeah. Because you can't stop peeing when the sneeze is coming. No, that muscle.

You can't. It probably because of the force, it probably pushes out harder for a second. That feels bad. And you lose aim. Yeah. Like it's just like, oh good. Like you feel a sneeze coming while you're pissing and you're like, I'm going to need to do some sneeze.

Or if you sneeze, that muscle would contract for a moment and it also wouldn't feel good. Yeah. What about pooing if you shit while you sneeze? I don't know. I have, yeah. Yeah. This came right to your memory. Yeah.

It's not fun. Yeah. It ruins the sneeze. Well, this is a really fascinating topic. We've covered some of this. This is a stuff we don't want NASA to know about. So don't show them this clip. And then they're going to think we're a bunch of knuckleheads.

But seriously, how unpleasant does it look to be in outer space? I mean, her face is beet red and that's not a sunburn. You know what I mean? It's like you're hanging upside down all the time. How does your body even handle that horrible feeling? It actually takes a toll on your body in the opposite way. Like the lack of gravity starts to make things softer from the bottoms of your feet to the tissue in between your spinal.

Everything just starts to soften because there's nothing kind of holding you down. You know what I mean? So everything starts to go on you. Your muscle becomes atrophysic. Well, hold on. Can you get a boner in space then? Yeah. I think you can get a boner in space.

Oh, thank God. Yeah. Blood can still go to your dong. Yeah. But is it harder? Because there's gravity. Yeah. This is what we're trying to pitch.

You know? We're trying to do the research for you guys. All the answers nobody knows. Once there's just a secret nasophile and they're like, you don't think we fucking did this? Like, they're like, of course we don't. This is the first thing we did in 1968. We just don't put this out. Why do you think we send them to the moon?

Yeah. We put them up there to fuck. Buzz Aldrin, what's his name? Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong. He's fucked up in New York. Then we put them up there to get rocks. They went up there to have gay sex.

That's amazing. They blew each other and they fucked for the name of science. All right. We got to go. This was a lot of fun. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening.

We will see you guys in two and two. Oh, fuck me. I feel so good. Good. Man, that is ass. Oh, my fucking god. God, God is so fucking yummy. I wouldn't mind tasting it.

Sometimes when your dick gets hard, you make noise. My cum is 100% kosher. Kosher. Kosher. Kosher. Kosher. My cum is kosher. Koms, kosher.

My cum is kosher. I'm thinking that I would fuck this person. I don't want vagina, I want a penis. Your真的. I want a penis. And I want a penis. I want a penis. And I want a penis.

And I want a penis. I want, I want, I want. What? So how was your pee? We're backing you to pee. I pee I push hard. My pee smells a lot like coffee, so I'm going to have to hydrate. What?

What? What? What? I want, I want, I want, I want. You're supposed to push as hard as you can. Let me see all that. Give it to me Mark. Oh, I can feel it.

Oh, that's gonna be good. Oh, that's gonna be good. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh. You like this? This is what gets you right now? This is fucking awesome! Look at this fucking tits. Let me see let me see how much you come let me see all that I need it right now

Identify as a threat a nightmare and a goddess so please bow down to me This is 2020 Who don't do right now? Why are you talking to your phone like that?