Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Creditmaxxing A Decade Of Debt w/ Caleb Hammer | Your Mom's House Ep. 866

Episode Date: July 1, 2026

Christina P is back touring! Check her out in Chicago September 18th and 19th. Get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates SPONSORS: Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com. Go to https://quince.com/mom for free shipping and 365-day returns Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/ymh For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. Sup, chomos! This week, Caleb Hammer, host of Financial Audit joins the Mommy Dome to talk money, mayhem, and the chaos of his own show. Caleb grew up broke and clawed his way out of massive debt, all while interviewing some of the internet's most financially unhinged people on Financial Audit. The conversation covers the actual hard math behind why most Americans can't survive an $800 rent payment, the case for buying a house even when renting is cheaper, and how nearly 40 states now require a personal finance class in high school, which means "nobody told me" will officially stop working as an excuse. Caleb also breaks down the wildest things his guests have said on camera, including unprompted racism, casual tax evasion confessions, and one woman who's never filed a return in her life with zero consequences. They also run through Horrible or Hilarious clips, debate whether financial domination clients just need to "drop the N-word" more, and dive deep into Mike Fedele, the only tax man offering both IRS advice and detailed sexual positioning tips in the same breath. Caleb also opens up about a serious flying phobia that led him to charter a tiny private jet just to feel in control, and gets talked into a future helicopter ride by Tom. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 866 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:26 - Delusions, Maxed Credit Cards, & Decades of Debt 00:05:14 - Building Financial Audit From Scratch 00:17:28 - Opening Clip: Hey Retard 00:18:53 - The "Blackie" Cruise Couple & Hard R Drops 00:27:35 - YMH Staff Financial Questions & Confessions 00:34:16 - 50/30/20 Budgeting, Diverse Portfolios, & Success Stories 00:41:37 - Mike The Tax Guy 00:46:37 - Cool Sales Pitches 00:47:58 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:50:17 - General Advice & Fear Of Flying 00:56:26 - Clip: Leaky Rump 00:57:32 - Clip: Fancy Chef Wants To Meet The Mayor 00:59:11 - Austin Property Taxes & Niagara Falls 01:03:51 - More YMH Staff Confessions 01:08:41 - Food Stamps, Roommates & The Best Head Debate 01:15:51 - Closing Song - "Brass Tax" by The Onibaka Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to the show. We're very excited that you are here. For those you that don't know, this guy puts out some of the most entertaining and informative content on the interwebs. Don't forget to get the Dollar Wise app. Watch Financial Audit and check out Caleb Hammer on YouTube. It's Caleb Hammer. Let him hear it. Some of those fans. Wow. Thanks, guys. That's so nice. It's crazy. I told you, I have been watching your stuff for years. And I had the thought many times ago, I was like, oh, like, that'd be fun to do that show. And I was like, there's no fucking way I'm going on that show. And I never thought, this is how my brain works. Oh, I could invite you on this show. And then I see you on Rogue and I was like, oh, yeah, we could have you on our show. And I never did that. So I apologize. But I'm highly entertained by what you put out. Do you think I'd yell at you if you came on my show? No, you'd be like, what are you doing here?

You're so well off. You make tons of money and what are you showing off? Yeah, this is a brag. Why do you have all these cars? Yeah. No, it's just like, I love that you give it to the pores. You straighten them. You're always like, you fucking poor piece of shit.

I love it. You deal with absolutely, here's the thing. I actually sometimes will be watching an episode of your show and be like, I can't watch this because of the anxiety I get by the lunatic you have on and how fucking like delusional they are. But you know what? They're having more fun than us. I guess so.

They're having more fun in life. They have no stresses. They should have more stresses. They should. Because they're so checked out. Yeah. No. Just like head is in the ground.

They're done. They don't want to look. Do you, how do people get on the show? They submit? Oh, yeah. Everyone watches it. Just like you. They watch it and they go, I want to be on.

So they think like you did, but they actually apply. Then they go through the whole process and we figure out who has the worst finances. And then sometimes it feels like they're there and you're like, wait, dude, do you understand the show you're on? Because they're so fucking, like, checked out. Dude, this one blows my mind. They all watch the show. They know the first question. I ask what they do for a living and what they make.

In 50% of them, I cannot get the answer. It's crazy. what they make. It takes me like five minutes sometimes. Yeah. So many times you'll be like, so what do you do? And the guy goes like, let me think. Hold on.

Yeah. And you're like, let do you think. What do you do for a living, man? It's crazy. He's like, um, well, last year, you're like, what about now though? He's like, hold on a second. Let me see. What am I doing now?

And you're like, what the fuck is wrong with you, man? I don't know. Those are the kind of people, I guess, going into the worst at. Did you get into it because you, like, were you raised in a financially aware household? Like, was it a discussion? No, I mean, I knew nothing. My family knew nothing. We had foreclosure notices on the house.

Really? Yeah, they had me at 1819. My dad was a gas station clerk. My mom worked front desk somewhere. Super young. Super young. They had no idea what they were doing. We didn't make good money.

Anything we ever did that would have been fun was just funded on debt. Either a second mortgage or credit cards. It was horrendous. So, of course, I turned 18. What's their advice? max out a credit card to get a piano I wanted. And they're like, that's good. That's good. That's what everyone does.

That's how you get credit. Yeah, you're 18. You can get a credit card now. So that was an exciting moment. Immediately maxed out a credit card like that. Took out a bunch of student loans to go get a bullshit degree. That I didn't even complete. I dropped out. But of course, you know, like most American families,

especially poor American families, the answer is no matter what, go to college. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. That's it. And it does have a premium on investment typically. but that was everything. So it was borrow whatever it takes to get whatever degree you want at whatever school. Yeah.

And I was just maxing out credit cards like crazy in college. Racking up crazy debt. Oh, yeah. It was just going out to eat every day. Yeah. You know, whatever you're doing. And I did work through college, but I don't enough to live up with that kind of lifestyle. Yeah.

And, you know, borrowing for a car because I didn't make much money and I was a delivery driver anyway. So I needed to have a car borrowing from family. It was a complete mess. and I just looked around my shitty apartment one day and I just realized like, I'm not going to hit any of my goals. Yeah. I'm not going to hit any of my goals.

I was like 23 or something right around there. And I moved down here in 2018 and got a sales job making $30,000 bucks here. And I was able to use that as an opportunity to work my ass off, figure out that system, and got to six figures pretty quickly and just started chipping at that debt, consuming all the finance content I could,

just chipping at it, then bought a first house and just continued that financial journey, got a quarter million net worth before ever starting this show. But I was like, okay. Damn. That's impressive. I'm doing pretty good by 27 or 26 at that time. I want to do YouTube. A YouTuber almost hired me. He didn't. And I was like, shit, well, I actually kind of really wanted to do YouTube. That excited me. It was like a two-month process of getting kind of let on thinking I might work in YouTube. I mean, this is super cool. So I was just like, let me try it. And I was like, what's a show that I would like to watch that doesn't exist yet?

And it's like a more extended version. Because there's lots of call-in shows where you have short little interviews and stuff. I wanted that extended version. Yeah. And that almost parisocial or really weird where I get to see into someone's life. Yeah. That's what I want to watch. So that's what I ended up making.

And ever since then, for four years, it's just gone crazy. But the main premise, besides all the drama and the slop and the fun with it, is to have the kind of conversation that someone should have had with my dumb ass at 18. That's really cool. And that's a funny thing is like I think about this all the time, like how poorly served we are in the education system. Growing up is like two, like there's a lot of things, but two things that are so important to just life that we get nothing on in school is nutrition. Like real nutritional education and finance. So you just enter, like, you know, they go like, don't eat too much bread and like, eat vet.

Like, that's what you learn. And then everyone struggles with like how they're supposed to eat. And then finance wise, you learn nothing. You just, if you go to college, you're a freshman in college, you're walking through the student union. They're like, do you want a credit card? And you're like, yeah. And then it's like 29.9% APR. And you're like, sweet.

And you're buying fucking gatorades off of them that end up costing you like $30 because you fucking roll over the debt over and over. and you don't know. Like I had a little advantage in that that's why I asked you about your household. Like my dad was a financial advisor. Okay. So pretty like fiscally conservative person. He wasn't like, you know, constantly.

He wasn't like drilling it. But it was always emphasized to like, you have to put money aside for taxes. You know, you have to have a retirement, a pension. So like I had a Roth when I was 16. Damn. That's so much more. than most people get in their brain.

Yeah, that's wild. And put, just like always have emergency funds. And, you know, I had debt and everything, credit card debt. And I honestly wasn't able to like just eliminate that until my career hit a certain point where my income just, you know, rose up to a point where I could, you know, just erase it. Well, that's show business, right? That's show business. That's your business.

Start off so poor. You start out and like, you know, we were very much struggling not being able to pay bills. cover rent. And then, you know, just like how it goes sometimes something hits and you're all sudden in a different income level. But I've always, I always had the mindset of like you, you know, you only spend more if you're earning more, right? Like everything was like about tiers of income. See, that's smart because that's not what Americans do. That's, yeah, that's a difficult thing. And it's, here's the thing, we live in a candy factory. But that's what it is to live here, is you live in a place where all day you're just hit with advertising for everything,

consumerism, and they're like, your shit's not cool enough. Wouldn't this be better? And you have to have the discipline to be like, no, yes, and be able to navigate that. And think about savings, think about retirement, all these things that are not sexy to think about. The crazy thing is, though, right now, and this is what's going to start pissing me off in the conversations and episodes I filmed the next couple of years. now we're at close to 40 out of 50 states require a personal finance course to graduate high school. Yeah, complete game changer.

And that's been just the last few years. Like the governor of Michigan came on my show. We did an audit of the state of Michigan. But her big plug was that they passed that. That was a big thing. And she's really proud of that. And she should be. But, I mean, I don't know what you're like in school.

But for me, I mean, I don't think my parents did very well in school. My brothers didn't do very well in school. I was an absolute dog shit student. Dog shit student, so was I. If I was required to take the personal finance course, I probably would have done it like a D plus passing, maybe C. You know? And I wouldn't have learned anything. But that's what's going to piss me off is the excuse that everyone uses on my show is that no one told me.

They always said, no one told me. What's a Roth IRA? All this stuff. They tell me that. But that can't be an excuse anymore because now it's being taught in the majority states. It'll probably be 50 states soon. Yeah. And they can no longer use that excuse.

And if they do, I mean, this is going to be bullshitting me at that point. And there's also this like, you see it on your show and you see it in life is like, there's that just willful disassociation of reality where you're like, hey, your rent's coming up. And someone's like, yeah, I don't know, man, I'm just going to go to the movies tonight. And you're like, wait, what? Like people just ignore that fucking the knock on the door basically. Yeah. Dude, you got to do something right now.

No, every time. I literally filmed an episode right before this where they were not able to make their rent payments. But of course, the further I went into the episode, I got their checking account, I got their credit cards. And I mean, it was a couple and they spent minimum $750 on bullshit a month. Yeah. But they couldn't make their $800 rent payment. And people like the, what do people push back on you the most. And I'm not saying just even in the room to say like in public with their like, well, you're not.

like you're not being real about how costly it is out there. Sure. Like, you know, it's expensive, which it is. Like it's an expensive society to live in. Things do, gas costs a lot, groceries, housing is expensive. Everything's expensive. Like nothing is, it's not cheap, you know, unless you move to like some stick, whatever, hillbilly village somewhere that no one wants to live.

Like, it's expensive. Let's pretend you're the internet then. And you just said that. Okay, my response is, okay, now what? Your mother is doing stand-up in Chicago, Illinois, September 18th, and 19th. Get your tickets at ChristinaP.com. This time of year always brings up memories of when summer felt much simpler and sweeter, whether that makes you think of days spent on a lake or setting off fireworks

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Do you just roll over and give up? That can't be it. We're in a society where we make the vast majority of the outcomes in our lives depend from the choices that we make. You can come from really hard backgrounds. Some people are going to have that harder time getting up. if you grow in pure povertyville heroin, you know, boonies in the Appalachians or something. Yeah. But for the vast majority of us, the outcomes of our lives is still dependent on the choices we make.

And even on that grocery spending thing, because I know we saw, we saw bad statistics these past few years with inflation. And, you know, coffee went up like crazy for a little bit. Eggs went up like crazy for a little bit. They weren't really inflation-driven. They were more market things with like bird flu happening and big drug in Brazil for the coffee beans. But either way, with all that. tracked by the Federal Reserve as a percentage of income that it cost to fulfill a standard grocery budget in this country, it is cheaper now than it was 100 years ago when people were living

the best American dream, right? When we all look back at the white picket fences, everyone could get a house single income, you know, so like everything, you're 100% right in the cost of housing. Buying a house today? It is crazy. Crazy. It is crazy that like you used to, I mean, you used to. But like, I don't know, that middle income housing opportunity that existed in like, let's say the 80s or something feels like erased.

Like the houses that are available that are supposed to be accessible to someone, they're just priced out. It's insane when you look at housing prices. Yeah, for the median income in this country, the median housing price would require 50% of their income. That's crazy. It's impossible. That's not a livable stat. But you also don't need to own. And I do get shit on on the internet for saying this, where I say you don't need to own.

I think owning's great. I've pushed back on owning a little because people are super wealthy finance people are always saying that online. Yes. They're like rent. You should rent. And, you know, that it's like then the owner has to deal with any issues and you can leave whenever. And like they always try to advise people to rent. It's very standard in the personal finance community.

but more than anything, right now rent is like half of a mortgage if you get in a mortgage. So let's just like forget the landlord thing, forget the investing in the market versus owning a house. Just forget that. With where interest rates are in housing prices versus income right now, rent is substantially cheaper. So I think owning a home is good. But a lot of people, and I've had it on my show, they get into a house that really stretches their budget. But even more alarming, they get in without an emergency fund. And what happens when you own a house, your roof, something happens to your roof.

any kind of utility, something like that. And immediately, you're just, you're done. You're just screwed, yeah. Yeah. So you don't have to rush into getting a house. I think getting a house is good, but it's also, it's unaffordable for many people. Yeah.

But I also, I try to look at the good side when we talk about the bad side. Gen C says they're never going to buy a house, right? That's what we see. I mean, a quarter of them already do. Quarter of them do? 25% of Gen C owns a home. Like, that's pretty good.

You know it's a bummers? A lot of them stop drinking. You've read that stat? Yeah, stop drinking. Yeah, it's fucking. and lame. And they're not having sex. Fucking, they're the lameos. That's the lameo generation. Yeah. You're not boozing up and fucking.

Yeah. What are you doing, man? It's actually going to be bad for us. I'm not going to lie. Like, I know it's a joke, but it's actually going to be bad for us. Yeah. We're not going to have little drunk kids walking around. Yes. We need them. The little drunk kids. You know what I mean? Battle China. All right, let's look at this, here. I didn't even play the opening clip. You have to watch the opening clip. Okay. Okay, here you go, man.

Hey, retard from the Middle East. Don't call. back because your word is you're not going to if somebody cuts this video I'm going to beat the fuck out somebody around here that's right don't bring in one loving to this

welcome to your mom this is the intro to the show this is the intro to the show oh yeah okay it just you know sets the table okay it's artistic it's nice

yeah I don't know who that do you know that guy never met him okay So we sit here. We just sit here. Oh, okay. You can dance if you want.

A little too white. A little too white, huh? To dance? Blackies. Blackies? Blackies. So. Wait, is that from my show?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was a crazy moment. What's the moment? I told her, so we had an interaction pre-show where I was like, you're the whitest couple I've ever met. I just walked in and tried to break the ice. You're the whitest couple. And they're like, well, we'd rather be white than black.

And I'm like, okay. And we started filming. Yeah. We started filming. And they were going on a cruise. And I think any reasonable person doesn't want to go on a carnival cruise these days. Uh-huh. It's just, you know, a little bit of a mess.

Those videos on TikTok. So I was like, I doubt you guys are going on carnival. And she was like, yeah, fuck those blackies. Don't clip me. But that's what she said. So. Fuck. Really?

Yeah. Unprompted. Nothing. Yeah. Nothing. And what's crazy is I actually kind of, I kind of liked her by the end of the episode, but yeah, but that was a crazy moment. That was a crazy moment. What did you, did you tell her like, what the fuck? No, I brought in my black employee. Yeah. And to the set. Uh, you know, he gave her, he gave her some of the, you know, Carnival Cruise treatment. He did? Yeah. He started dancing and

doing the dip and all of shit. Yeah, shaking ass on camera. Okay, cool. Man, they really have a good time on those cruises, though. Yes, it would be great. If I fit in there, I would love it. Oh my God. You get on a Black cruise, it's a fun time. Uh-huh. Yeah. I mean.

You never been on one? That's not mine. Dude, they fucking really do it up. The party never ends. Okay. Yeah. I mean, you got to go. Do you ever go to Atlanta?

No. So you don't really like them. No, I love them. Oh, okay. It's just like they're fun. Yeah, no, of course, of course, of course. Yeah. that's why I would never say that

you would never say F the no I mean I blackies yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah man that's a wild thing to say on the internet for that lady we've had a lot of N words recently

not on the show not them oh right you're not saying a bunch of N words are showing up no okay people have started dropping the hard R I don't know why on the show yes I don't know why we've got a few of these hold on hold on

so you're sitting there being like all right, so your checking account is really overdone this and they're like N-word? How is that? What's the context in which they're saying this? The first one to really break the seal on that was a couple weeks ago. And I don't know how we got on the topic, but he was like, people are afraid to say what needs to be said these days. And I was like, what needs to be said? And I was like, wait, pause. So I brought him my black employee.

And that's what he said it. He said it when you brought in your employee. Yeah, he waited for him. so he just was like that word needs to be said as he says someone needs to say it people need to say it these days yeah all right i did call his boss and get him fired you got him fired for that i got him fired wow usually i actually yeah i usually care for the people that come on the show but i i wanted him fired for that so that's wild yeah that is crazy man and so how did your employee because i'm kind of How did your employee react when the guy goes, this needs to be said and he says it?

Oh, he loves it for content. He does? Yeah, he's a content creator. And what was the guys like, I don't want to, but like, what kind of work was he doing? Walmart. Ah. Nigger. Okay.

That makes sense. All right. Well, that is pretty fucking nuts, man. Yeah. And you've had other hard R. Strip. drop them or show? Absolutely. And are they saying, they're not saying it like this needs to be said, they're just like saying it in conversation?

Yeah, another guy was more quoting what his dad used to be called. His dad used to be called that? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I don't know if we had other hard ars. So we had the blacky thing, two hard ars. And then lots of, and then the other ones are like Jewish things recently.

Oh, a bunch of Jew drops. Well, like, you know, Jew 9-11 drops. Jew 9-11. All right. I don't know what it has to do with their documents, but they love to bring it up. That's a thing, too, man. Yeah, what is this one? Sorry.

I fucking Jew. You know, we try to give them all. Try to have them all. We started in Hebrew. You heard it. I did. It was confusing. Are you Jewish?

Not. Okay. People think I am. I get it too. Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel about it? I'd be okay with it.

Okay. I'd like it. More conspiracies about me, but they already call me online, so I guess to me I am. Because you're giving financial advice? And the perm. The perm. And the last name, Hammer.

I guess it's very Jewish. In like L.A., they say like every lawyer. Like if they hear a hammer, they think he's a Jewish lawyer. Got you. Fuck yeah, man. So you're bringing out the best of the best on the show. That's wild. That's wild, dude.

Yeah. Fucking, okay. So now you've got more things to look for. I mean, you do a deep dive on financial audit. It's not just financial information. No, the first half is getting to know them. And if you get to know them, sometimes they're a racist. Oh, right.

Or anti-Semitic. It's crazy, I mean, that somebody doesn't try to mask that on the show. No, the crazy part is we give them every opportunity to mask it. Yeah. We try to get them to not say it. We try to tell them before we film what they don't want to talk about. Wow. So if I catch them cheating, they would usually tell us before the episode that they

don't want me to catch them cheating. Gotcha. Because then we'll respect it. But if they don't, then I'm going to catch them cheating. And then it's on. Then it's on. I'm still amazed that a guy was like, like, I want to say this to this guy's face.

That's wild. Yes. We're going to do a charity boxing match with my black employee and the N-word guy. Do you want to give the black employee a name? Tyler. Okay. Yeah. Mine's Eni, so I just figured we should name them.

Yeah. He's right in there. Hey, Annie. Black employee. What's going on, brother? My black employee. I'll 2 v2 with the other one. Okay.

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Okay. I thought it would be fun to, I don't even know what's in here. I'm ready. But let's just see what they're asking. I use my whole paycheck betting on Australian women's tennis and lost. I guess. Oh, that's the question. That's not really a question.

It's a statement. But I guess we should probably tell him that's a poor idea. I'm guessing this is a man. It's not good. Yeah. Any, is that you? It is not me, but I mean, I've done similar things. Yeah, there's a lot of gambling.

Like, gambling has gotten really popular. Yeah. Do you feel like it's okay as long as it's like a small percentage of what you have? No, I think it's okay if it's not addicting. Yeah. If people don't, like, ruin their lives with it. Same thing with porn, weed, drinking, whatever, anything like that. Watch a little porn, smoke a little weed, bet 50 bucks, and then move on with your life.

Yes. Yeah. Okay. Financial advice officially. Fair. Fair. I kept all my money, life savings in my checking account up until last year. I'm 24.

Okay. I guess we could probably figure out who that is, but I guess last year was rough. Like what do you, like when somebody runs into a financial burden, a moment, an emergency, as long as they have something, like that's why you saved up for it. Yes, exactly. And then you got to be, you got to get back to it. You got to keep saving again, right? Yeah, I was pulling up some data the other day, just trying to figure out where everyone is now.

I try to stay in tune with that. And 40% of Americans don't even have $400 saved. Yeah. That's scary. What's more scary is nearly 70% of Americans. had an emergency last year, averaging $1,000 to $2,000. So if you just do the math, 40% of them just couldn't even come close.

Wild. That's terrifying to me. Yeah. It's crazy that our systems, like, built on that, too. I don't know how we haven't fallen through the cracks. How do you look at your own, like, when you get income from podcasting, from your other streams of revenue comes in, do you do a monthly thing where you're like, this goes here, this goes, like, is that how you approach it?

terms of how I pay myself? Yeah, well, just how you diversify what goes where. Like, do you go, like, this is going to savings, this is investments, this is like... Oh, well, honestly, at this point, like, everything goes to investment. Luckily, I mean, you know, I mean, we have a lot going on, so the money's really good. So it's just the vast majority can just be invested. Yeah. And I give that to my finance guys at this point because it's way too complicated, but...

Do you work with top-tier finance people? Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah, I don't want to mess around at this point. It's too much at stake. The number's too big. Nice flex, dude.

I love it. Yeah, I mean, you know, the finance guy. And yeah, so most of it goes to investing. I'm renovating a house right now. So a little bit's going to that. But it's not too crazy. Here in Austin? Yeah.

And you, were you, how long have you, do you have a big ambitious financial goal? I bet you do, right? I have a number. What's your number? Okay, so I've hit my first goal was $5 million. I was exciting. For a net worth or liquid cash? Uh, net worth, but the vast majority is liquid anyway.

Uh, hit that a couple years ago. Then I wanted to get to, at 20. Mm-hmm. We got there. I think 30 is like, that's like my stretch, stretch goal. Nice. And that's what my financial advice was at me too. They're like, make that the goal.

Yeah, if 30's in the stock market, you don't even, there's like, you don't have to worry about anything. Unless you're in like the private jet class, like buying a private jet class. Yeah, yeah. Then you really don't have to worry about anything. It's like, it's a million dollars conservatively. every year for the rest of your life. Operating costs, yeah.

Which is incredible. Yeah. That's fantastic. And how old are you? 31. That's incredible, man. Like, that's really amazing. Yeah, it's been fun.

I mean, that's, like, also, I think should inspire somebody, especially a younger person, to be like, that's possible. Absolutely. I mean, it was just four years on YouTube now. So, it's pretty good. I mean, you got to do, there's a lot of things that go into, you know? Sure. Like, we have a place like this, too.

We got 10,000 square. feet here in Austin. So we have a lot of different shows. We kind of have our own network going on. We have on our monthly membership. We have almost 120,000 paying members at 10,000 hours a month for our network of shows. So that's huge. There's the budgeting app that you mentioned at the beginning. Yes. So there's lots of different pieces of the pie. We're trying to build something large and sustainable. Yeah. So yeah, I've been rewarded a lot for that. But what's really cool, I love, we have 40 people now. That's like my obsession. I love being able to build this organization with all these different people where we all get to like make shit together.

Wow. It's so much fun. You guys have a good culture where you work? I think so. You know, there's always a couple people that stink their way in and try to get them out. But that happens. It does.

Yeah. I frequently use Klarna to finance Uber Eats orders. That I'm not actually against. Really? If you're doing the pay and four and you're tracking your money, okay, that's fine. Okay. When you do the pay and four because you can't afford it, it. Then it's bad because you're paying for in that, then you're paying it for and something

else. And eventually it just gets to the point where your new weekly payment that you're on is just as much as the initial purchase itself that you couldn't afford because you're stacking paying fours. Did you educate yourself on how to, you know, to be so aware of and to be able to give financial value? Was it all self-education? Yeah, mostly. I mean, like I said, dude, I was fucked. So I just had to learn everything I could. And when it gets to the nitty gritty of personal finance, just that basic responsibility. It's all honestly so simple. It's just budgeting, like spending less than you make. It's just, it's really it, right? Basic foundation. So, um, and once you have that under control, I mean, then you can focus on

the nitty gritty, learn about each product like Clarnas and stuff. The thing that scares me about Klarna. People don't do the pain for anymore, though. They do the actual financing through Clarnna, which is at a 36% interest rate. Jesus Christ. Yes. That's what's bad. That's what's scary. I still PayPal paying for today. We just went over my number. I do pretty well. But I don't know. It's just like there's a part of my brain that's still like, oh man, I can invest this extra money right now instead of paying

for this thing all the way. So, because there's no interest you're paying for it's fine. Yeah. But most people just abuse it. And then they fall down that cycle. And then their pain force are just stacking like crazy. That's nuts. Do you recommend that people, your average person work with some type of professional when it comes to financial advice, accounting, etc.

I don't think you need to. For the average person, I think once stuff starts getting complicated, it can be worth it. But for average person, as long as you just budget, 50, 30, 20, classic, if you heard of 50, 30, 20?

No, I've not heard of 50. So that's just like a basic budgeting guideline. It doesn't work everywhere like New York or L.A., but 50% on needs, 30% on wants, 20% on savings. So very easy. You're still spending a lot of your money on fund. But instead of working with a personal finance person,

low-cost index fund, something that follows the general like S&P 500, that's good. Do you spread around your market stuff a lot? Like, do you, is it very like diversified? It's pretty diversified. Definitely, since I'm pretty young, it's more aggressive,

especially in like the American tech companies. That's definitely heavy focus there because I have time on my side. You do have time. weather out the, you know, the hard things. I mean, I would probably have more conservative if I was older, if I was like 55 or something, I would probably be a little more bonds focused. But yeah, we got some international in there, got a little bit of crypto, got a little bit of gold, got a little bit of everything. But definitely like full USA American stocks.

I have a theory when it comes to like people who invest. It's that if you are, if you have like a household, I mean, you said yours was not very like financially adept, but I think if around the markets and when you're young, then when you start making money, you gravitate towards that. And that people that come from like real estate households, they gravitate towards that. Because most people I know working people that have investments, it is like, there's like hard splits. Like my real estate friends are like so real estate heavy. Yes. And then my stock market friends are very much into that. And like, for me, because I grew up in a household that talked about the market, it's where I feel more comfortable.

And I've been talked out of almost every real estate possibility that I've ever considered. Do you own a house? Yes. But I'm talking about as like extras. Yeah, extras. I have come to kind of a conclusion on my, on my side when I think about for the average American. Yeah. Like at the beginning I said, you know, maybe renting makes more sense.

But I think actually for the average American, if you can get in a house, now I'm starting to, think most should because the average American is retarded. So wait, most should what? Get a house. Get a, okay. Because, again, they struggle. They spend everything. So the entire thing of not buying a house is so you take that extra money that you get

from renting right now and put it in the stock market that will make more money than housing appreciation. But the average American saving rate is like 2% last year. Are they really going to invest the rest? no. So force them to ride appreciation in the stock market because they will, or in the housing market, because they will blow the money instead of investing it in the stock market. So buy a house and it's like being, your hand holding all along the way for the next 30 years, you are forced there. You're not going to get out. You might take a home equity loan if you're

really stupid. You might sell it, but hopefully if you make a profit. But at that point, you're at least getting forced savings because Americans are too stupid. to not just blow the money yeah it's like but i think with like finances what happens is that people people just think that it's it's too complicated and not like when you go this too common it's not for me then you just go like i don't want you just don't even want to know yeah you know and that's why i it sounds probably peculiar but that's what i i think of the the parallel to nutrition is that when you start talking like grams of protein and like macros and you got people just a lot of people just go out all right just give me something to fucking eat you know they don't want to take

the time to actually hear the information and realize that it is you you can figure this out it's it's not as complicated as you can get in very granular on things you know you can talk about financially talk about like shorting stocks and things and people are like what the they don't understand what you're saying but it's like you don't have to go to that level. No, and most should it anyway. Yeah, exactly. But I just think that, well, that's a big advantage, I think, to a show like

yours is that you're talking about things in a way that's very accessible. You know, talking about spend less than you make is a very accessible idea. Yeah. You know, and like, I think when people start

watching a show like that, it makes them consider what they're doing too. Yeah, for sure. And that's the point of the show. You mentioned a criticism at the beginning of people like, oh, you know, you don't get how expensive things are. Well, one of the more criticisms that I actually get is you're not qualified. First of all, there's no degree in like personal finance budgeting. That's not a degree. You can get different certifications and take tests and whatever and a lot of different things.

You can be an accountant. You can be an investment advisor, all that different stuff. But for what we do, there is no certification. It's so simple. People don't realize. I don't know why. there is such an obsession with thinking, it's just so easy.

You spend less than you make. That's it. Do you have a success story from the show? Not in terms of like, I know you've had people on who do very well. And that's like fun to see the difference of like, oh, I'm doing this well. But do you,

have you ever had someone where they came on, they're a mess? And then you follow up and they're like, got their shit together? Constantly. It's every day. And in our, in that membership that people subscribe to,

we do two updates a week with previous guests. And the vast majority, I'd say 80% of the time, they're positive updates. That's great. Yeah, I mean, the show's a mess. The show's chaotic. It's fun, springer energy. And we love that. But oftentimes, you know, it's a wake-up call.

They reflect on it. And then they're actually, they're afraid of being embarrassed on the follow-up. They want to get their shit together. So hopefully it's a part of the education they get afterwards. Hopefully it's a part of the show. But I bet a big part of it is they want to show that they actually did it and they don't want to be embarrassed coming back on. I bet you also have people that refuse to do follow-ups, right?

Some, but it has, it's most, because people were such big fans of the show before they came on and are onboarding is so thorough, people aren't really too upset afterwards. I saw a lady that was on that she was a fucking disaster, dude. She, what, she used to work in some type of nursing, and then she's like, I haven't worked a while.

She had like every fucking PTSD type of trauma. Fuck. She was a fucking mess. I do not remember this episode, but listening to you describe it as annoying me. Yeah. Yeah. It was annoying to watch her. Yeah.

Like the thing, sometimes you watch the show and you like, this fucking person needs to get hit in the head with a hammer. No, I think she was the one from Seattle or Portland. Maybe. I think, was she Indian? No. Oh, fuck. I can see, we get lots. Yeah.

No, you get lots. You get some crazies, man. Speaking, though, you're saying, like, of accounting. I don't know if you know Mike Fidel. I'll just hear. play this for you. This is out there too for people, you know. I'm Mike Fidelity from Fidelity and Associates. We're here in South Beach to provide income tax and IRS services

to high net worth athletes and entertainers who have many serious IRS problems. If you do, DM me and we'll get you out of all your problems. You know, so there's people out there for everyone to give financial advice and accounting and especially about IRS problems. That's a serious thing too. You've got to pay your taxes, man. Yeah, it is. We have a a lot of people not paying their taxes on the show. Yes, that's crazy. Absolutely blows my mind. What really pisses me off is they're also the people that are

getting food assistance and stuff. So they're not paying into the system and then they get full taken out. It is crazy. I've worked with people too who like that time of year comes up and then I'll be like, you know, something casually said and they'll be like, they'll say something where I'm like, well, are you know, are you ready for that or something? And they're like, no, I've never done that. And I'm like, you've never done what? And they're like, pay taxes. I'm like, you've never paid your taxes? And they're like, no.

There's no consequences for them either. I'm like, what are you talking about? And they're like, never paid any taxes. I'm like, you have to. And they're like, no, you don't. I don't. Yeah. I'm like, okay.

Honestly, if you don't make enough money, the IRS is, if you don't make enough. If you don't make enough. So like, there's a, there's a threshold for that? I don't know if there's a threshold, but most people just fly under the radar. Do they really? I'm not aware of this. Yeah. Everyone that's come on our show, they have.

they haven't had, I think we've actually had one person the IRS was actually like kind of attack you them. Other than that, so many people are like, yeah, I haven't filed in four years. I didn't know that. Nothing happens. Really? Nothing happens. No. And now that I'm making a decent amount of money, I just got a letter in the mail. I guess when we first started off in 2022, I didn't do something perfectly. You know, when I was making a little bit of money from this YouTube thing, didn't do anything perfectly.

And now they're like hounding in the mail. About that year? Yeah, I'm like, I don't even know what the fuck happened. Like, I don't even know. just because I'm starting to make money now where people on the show, which the IRS should be thanking me for, because I'm giving them free people to go get.

Yeah. They're facing no consequences. That's really, yeah. Well, it makes sense. They're like, we'll pay attention to whoever's making money. Yeah. Yeah, because that makes us money. So, yeah.

Which I'm happy to make up for the mistake, but it's just like, damn. Yeah, they're pretty aggressive, man. They're pretty aggressive. This is what I made today, bro. It's an accountant, dude. All of this. While you're playing monsters and aliens

in your mother's basement, I was doing tax returns for cash money. Few of them were credit cards, but most of these were cash. This is around 11,000. Okay? And this was about four or five tax returns. And then here we got another. Who's paying their CPA in cash? I mean, it's Miami, dude, you know?

Around 6,000. And I got some 20s in here, too. Check it out. Check it out. Huh? I made around 17,000 today on a Sunday part time after I walked and ran. What did you do today? My little brother, how much money did you make?

I'm about money. That's what I'm about. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I guess both of our shows have it happen. Okay. He gives all kinds of advice, so it's not just about accounting, you know? Move her around from behind so that the pussy grips your dick, and that's the way it feels good. You gotta do that, man.

And that's a Brooklyn rap, bro. That is a Brooklyn motherfucking rap. You know what I mean? Do you ever give pussy advice on the show? The Brooklyn rap is just taking her from behind? And move her around. You got to move her around. Yeah.

So he grips the dick, I think. I think that's what he's saying to do. I like hitting it from behind. You get the pussy to grab you better when you're going from behind. You know what I mean? So I like to do that from behind. It doesn't matter. What about you?

Do you like it from behind? I am a behind guy. Are you going to take Mike Fidelis not only accounting advice, but his Brooklyn rap advice, and move it around so that it grips the dick better? I am. Yeah. See? See, you financial guys give all kinds of advice. That's good advice.

Yeah. You know? Oh, that's it. Okay. Base is not withdrawn. It's not like sunken in, but your jawline is stronger. Like your jawline is stronger. And, you know, a bitch is like that.

They like a, they like a nigger with a strong, strong jawline, man. Hey, bro. I'm looking at this. Like, damn. Crazy, right? Okay. Wow. Fuck, dude.

I don't even know. Okay. Are you thinking about the jawline? It is. That's the South Miami play. That's the South Miami play, yeah. Mewing. And the Brooklyn rap.

Don't forget about that. Yeah. Yeah, it's all of it, man. Let's see. There's, you're a sales guy. Yes. I mean, so here's the sales pitch. Hold on a second.

I'm really tight. First time I had sex, his cock would have me open, but like crazy I couldn't walk for weeks. So when I'm with a guy and their cock's too wide, I can't have sex to them. I said, I'll just give you head. And when I give them head,

I lick and rub their balls. I get the best head they've ever had in their entire life. That's at a gas station in Victorville. It's toothless, though. Yeah. Could be good. You don't know? You don't know.

I know. You don't know. I know it's good. You know it's good. Yeah. It's experienced. Yeah. Yeah, there's all kinds of stuff. People are like, you give advice online. There's all types of advice being given out.

Things to do to make extra money, affiliate marketing blogs. Try either one, learn on YouTube how to do them, make extra. Have you followed him? I want to follow him. He'll teach me how to double my net worth. This guy puts up videos every day that are like this. They usually get cut off under a few seconds. And he sounds like he's in a late stage of emphysema. And it's fucking fantastic.

He also gives soccer updates. Yeah, they're all out there. You should have him on the show. I bet that'd be fucking amazing. I'm open. Sir, could you please head up Caleb to be on financial audit? I would love to watch that.

Calebhammer.com slash apply. Fuck yeah, dude. Let's see. I have something else to show you. Oh, we often play a game. It's not related to finance. Where I just show you a clip and you tell me whether you think

it's horrible or hilarious. Okay. So I'm going to play you a few clips. And just react however you would normally react. That seems fun. But you let go late. No, you laughed. Oh, it's funny.

Okay. One of the few. What? No. Sometimes people are just like, just sad when they watch these, you know? They do the internet? You need that with me a day? Strel!

Strel! Calm. Possible? I'm a good son. I feel like that hammock. Oh, he broke his leg. It's fun. I don't speak that language, but it's good.

Yeah, that was Portuguese. Oh, shit. I wonder if that'll land on her head. What's your bet? Yes? I hope so. Yeah. Fuck.

That guy for sure. Let's see. She was knocked out. Fuck yeah. pretty crazy. That was pretty good. You liked that one. Why would these be horrible?

See? He's a perfect match, dude. Way to go, guys. He's fucking bombing down this street. Oh, God damn. Is that before he gives the blog and finance advice in his car? I think so. I think so, yes.

learn how to market on YouTube. The thing is the scream is so great. That's what always gets me is when someone's screaming in agony. Yeah. I really, that's what makes me laugh the most, you know? He's okay. He's fine, dude.

He's totally fine. Let's see. He was okay. He just had some scrapes. Yeah, he's fine. Way to go, sir. You're totally fine. Do you have general advice

that you I guess the 50, 30, 20 is kind of a good one. That's good, yeah. And then quite simply, spend less than you earn. Yeah, I mean, that's a good one. The show takes you in different directions. I know, I like to go. This is very weird.

I love it. No, this is great. Okay. Yeah, pay off your high interest debt first. Yeah. Your high interest debt first. Save up a fully funded emergency fund. six months that you need to live.

Yeah. And then you can start living your 50, 30, 20, where you can start having fun again because you saved up for an emergency and you paid off all your bad debt. And at that point, you're hopefully just riding the compound growth that comes in the marketplace with you. If you're older, you got to maybe do like 50, 25, 25, 25 to invest, 25 for fun. Got to play some ketchup. And a lot of people are playing ketchup in America anyway. I mean, people take so long. They say, oh, you know, I'm young. I'm in my 30s. Or I'm in my 20s. This is when I want to live. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I want you to live there, but that's usually also when you have, like, the highest amount of student loans. You don't really have any assets yet. And you're also in the best decade of your life to invest in the stock market because you get that incredible returns, that bell curve. You want to be investing as early as you can because you want time on your side. Do you have as a, you're a young guy, you're 31. You're obviously done phenomenally well.

Do you have indulgences that I'm saying. you know, cost money? I mean, the house renovation is a little bit. I bought a new house. That's like pretty conservative. Okay. So I have a flying phobia. You have a flying phobia?

Yes. You don't fly? We're working on it. We're working on it. So I did recently. But to get over it, I wanted to have more control. So I rented a private jet. Ah, you chartered.

That was a splurge. That's a very big splurge. Yeah, it wasn't far. It wasn't far because I didn't even need to go anywhere. What size aircraft did you go on? So tiny. It was so tiny. It was six seats.

I think it was the same plane that crashed in Austin, Texas, or on the way to Austin, Texas, like a week ago, if you saw that. Yeah. Yeah. Some CEO in Austin died. I think on that private jet. Was that a net jet's flight? Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. So I just did a super quick San Antonio back from Austin. So it was practically nothing. But I just wanted to get on the plane again because I haven't been on in like a decade at that point. What's the cause you think of your flying phobia? Did you have a bad experience? No. I really like to be in control.

You want to know something kind of interesting? Give it to me. Statistically speaking, you're much safer in a commercial airliner than you are in a private. I'm not afraid to dying.

I don't care about the crash. I don't care about turbulence. I don't like being stuck in a situation that I just can't like leave. Like, I don't know why. It freaks me the fuck out. But how could you leave the charter? I could be like,

yeah, I gotta have like diarrhea. Let's land. You know, go to the nearest airport, right? But I can't do that with Delta. Oh, so you just, want to be able to be like land now. I guess. Just having that like and not that. You're not afraid of crashing

and dying. No. You're just afraid of what is it like the, do you like not like crowds and like the whole airport I'm good with crowds? Airport experience I'm good with. It's literally being on the airplane and not being able to say I need to change something. Yeah because it's like

okay I guess if I had a traumatic experience I'd like like panic attacks are super scary. Have you had one? Terrifying experience. Yeah. And I I'm afraid, like, if I have one and I can't, like, do something. That's, like, scary. So if, like, you're stuck there, you're stuck there for a few hours.

Yeah. So, like, going back up to Michigan, my home state, like, that's two and a half hours. I'm stuck in that situation for a while. So that part's scary me. So you have not flown in how long? Well, before that, like 10 years. 10 years? Yeah, just road tripping.

So that obviously means you don't travel internationally. No, but the 10 years ago was international, though. So would you do that again or no? Yeah, I want to. And that's why I met with a specialist and that's what we're working on. Oh, you're really working on that? Yes. So I'll be doing a commercial flight.

I'm going to do like the World Cup, a semifinals in Dallas. That'll be fun. You're going to fly to Dallas? Yes. That seems one you could drive to, though. Yeah, but I mean, I want to get on a commercial airline, get that experience. Oh, you're going to get on the commercial airline. How do you feel like helicopters?

Dude, I don't know. Everyone's dying in helicopters right now. Yeah. Yeah, I don't really want to do that. I put my family on a helicopter the other day. Okay. But I don't want them to die either, but I just didn't want to go. Yeah. You put them on a chopper. I did.

Yeah. A nice, big, safe one? Nope. But they're good. Okay. They were safe. How long was there? It was literally smaller than this set that we're in right now. Yeah, like a little R-22 or something, man? I don't know. It was a tour helicopter in Austin. Oh, okay. They took a tour. Yeah. It was really cool. They loved it. But I don't know. The news, people are dying in these helicopters.

Yeah. Yeah, they do. They do die. I don't want to. Yeah, no. I just ran into a pilot. We're talking about flying, because I took some helicopter flying lessons. And he was like, oh, he found out that I had trained at this school. And he was like, you know, I used to train at that school. And I was like, oh, I didn't even know that you were a pilot. And we were talking. And he was like, I said, you still go up? He goes, no, I gave up flying entirely. And I go, why? And he goes, because I just kept running into other pilots who were like, oh, you know who died? This. guy, you know who this guy. It was just like listing that people that he knew were all dying. Helicopters are not worth it. I don't know. It's so fun. Okay, I'll go. If you, if you take me flying, I'll go. You'll go? You'll go? I'll heavily consider if you pilot. Co-pilot. Yeah. Okay. I'll heavily consider. Okay. Will you please set that up?

Fuck me. Okay. That's, getting a lot more real then. Yeah. When I was saying that. That reminds me of Daddy Recy. To all you freaky bitches out there, come close. Daddy Recy want to ask you something. Do you want Daddy Recy's calm,

leaking all out of your little tight rump? He's a regular, on the show he puts out content and we just try to feature him whenever he drops something new. Okay. That's great. Yeah, he drives a truck. He makes good money. He makes great money. And he's not cheap. He'll take you out. He'll buy you dinner, you know. He's not cheap. He's not cheap. But he'll buy you dinner. I'm saying if you're a lady and you want to go to dinner, he'll buy you dinner. That's nice. Yeah. And that's what I want to see. You like it up close? dinner. Yeah.

That face. Yeah. He's pretty cool, man. He's a really cool guy. Are you aware of fancy chef? Dog food? Some might say it is. Okay.

But he's a chef that we've had on the show. Okay. Chef sometimes, you know, can make crazy money. When they do like privates or they open multiple. restaurants. So this is fancy chef going to the, he tried to go to the mayor's to just like stampede into the mayor's office in, I think in New York. Yo, excuse me. Yo, yo, yo. What? What are you doing today? I'm going to see the mayor. I got to talk to the mayor. It's a hunger

crisis in New York. I got to go talk to him. Can you just leave me alone? I don't want to be bothered right here. Take off, please. Hey, how are you doing, sir? Oh, how you doing? How can I help you? I got to talk to the mayor. It's a crisis, the hunger crisis in New York. Guess what? I got to talk to him. I got the recipe to hand do this and solve it. I would like to get him on financial audit too. Yes. Because he's got a crazy quote for private dining. I want to know if it's really coming in. Does it have the hard R in it? He can say it.

He does say the A version. Okay. But he's, yeah, he's Harlem's finest chef. Okay. Yeah. It's really incredible. And Mondamne is not supporting him? I don't think so. I don't think he is actually, and that's a real bummer. It's not very pro-D-I.

Are you, do you get politically involved? I mean, I talk about things. I mean, I don't go too in like the social shit, but like economics, yeah. Economics, yes. Yeah. What do you feel like what's our status here in Austin currently, as a, financially speaking, as a city? Yeah. The Depp or resident in Austin isn't great.

It's in the thousands. what? The debt per resident that the city. It's nothing like New York. New York's fucked. But, I mean, you know, they tried to raise taxes. Everyone in Austin voted no.

Me too, because property taxes are already insane in Austin, which is good. So then they were forced to actually cut the budget and find reasonable places to cut, which was interesting that they were able to make those adult decisions once we said no. But I like Austin. Austin's in Texas.

We just, Texas is pretty socialist when it comes to these property taxes. That's not what I'm liking because they do this big recapture. We pay property taxes to the city of Austin, but Texas comes in and takes a massive percentage of it and gives it to other school districts. So you have these rural towns, not that they don't deserve good things,

but they're building these college-level football stadiums with property taxes paid for in Austin. It's crazy. I hate that shit. A big part of me I've been in Austin. for eight years. And I kind of want to go experience like Miami life. To move there? I want to move my studio to Miami. No shit. Yeah. I think it'd be fun. Better for guests flying in because the Austin airport shit. And another zero state income tax state. And others and the property taxes are better.

Would you maintain an Austin residence if you did that, you think? Yeah, because dollar wise is here. We got to we got to make sure we still have everyone here. And Texas is a little better for business taxes. You have, I forget even what it's called. It's like a franchise tax. Where in Florida they actually do have like a corporate overall tax, which isn't great. But it's still better than the vast majority of the country. Would you be like Caleb on the beach, like Miami Beach? Yeah, I'd be with our boy.

No shit. You'd be with Mike Fidelity. Yes. You guys can do a show together. Yes. Dude, that'd be fucking wild. Yeah, we can audit people together. And we'll see which advice pans out in the end.

Yeah. Well, he'd be like, you don't have to pay that fucking shit. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, when you're fingering a girl, start with your middle finger. Yeah, it'd be pretty cool to get all that advice. Yeah. But in general, I think Austin's good.

So you might move to Miami? Maybe. I have another two and a half years on our office. So after two and a half years, maybe. Oh, so it's something like down the line. Yeah, but I'm going to have to prep for it over the next year because everything goes so quick. These days is kind of crazy. So, but yeah, I'll have to prep for it.

We were heavily considering moving to New York for a bit. Just because, I mean, it's really hot in Miami and in Austin. And I love the walkability that comes with places like that. It's the best, dude. Chicago, I used to go to Chicago all the time because my home state of Michigan was really close to it. And I just love the lifestyle there too. Yeah, in the city. Yeah.

In the proper city. Exactly. But it just didn't make sense. With like the random guest hunter show, you never know who's going to freak out in the end and use their legal system as like a loophole to sue the show. Yeah. Which wouldn't happen down here or in Florida. The taxes are fucking crazy. Yeah.

The mayor, like, I mean, I don't hate him as a person, but I mean, he's done some weird, like, personal things, like, standing outside of people's residents and then like a rich person lives here. We're going to tax them more. And that's like, fuck. Like, okay, they already view me as pretty right wing, which I'm not even, but they do. And if I was there and he's very internet plugged in, I don't want anything weird to happen. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know. Unfortunately, it's not, it wouldn't a made or break New York, but I mean, I would have brought tax revenue. I would have brought at least 20 jobs with me. Yeah. Well, 10 jobs with me and hired another 10 there, but I guess it doesn't really matter to them. Interesting, man. Speaking of New York. Hey, Niagara Falls. Who the fuck fail? Huh? This one book ain't talking about no dead waterfalls.

He's talking about niggas tripping over their own feet. I heard what he said. You did too. Come on. That was right on line with this episode. Hey, Niagara Falls. Where is this episode on the hard-ard scale? Right in the middle.

Right in the average. Okay. Hey Niagara Falls. Yeah. I mean, it's... I don't know. I would have enunciated that differently. Hey, Niagara Falls.

There you go. Hey Niagara Falls. All right. Oh, man. Where does it fall on the financial audit at? It's light recently. It's light recently. Yeah.

It grows. Holy shit. Let's see what else the staff says are saying. I don't know what they're saying. I haven't looked at my bank account balance in two weeks. Is that bad? No, I mean, unless you're like really bad with money, should be okay.

Right. I mean, if you're leaving like a couple hundred bucks in there, yeah, you're probably fucked. Yeah. And overdrafty, but I think it's okay. That's okay? You got smart people here? Okay.

Something, yeah. Yeah. Okay. This says I, 24 female, have been paying two. $240 a month for six months for a luxury gym membership I've only used twice because I got injured elsewhere when I tried to cancel. I realized I'm locked into a 12 month contract. Yeah, you fucked up, girl.

I don't know, that's it, right? That's kind of it, right? Like, if you're in the contract, it's kind of hard to break it. 240 a month? Is that what costs? Yeah, Equinox, right? That's what it costs a lifetime? It's brutal.

Really? Yeah, I mean, my girl got it too. I'm not going. No? Not as much as I should. Do you want to get serious about your fitness? I'd love to. I don't know.

What's crazy is I actually get really good activity. My activity score on the ORA Apple Watch, great. It's food. Play a lot of football. I eat like shit. Yeah, not football, pickleball. But yeah. No, I eat like shit.

Because I work so long. And then at the end of the day, I'm just like done. Like, it's interesting. I was able to cut out going out to eat and everything when it came to budgeting. but the moment it came to health like for some reason it just goes in the brain it's the hardest thing I think right I struggle with the same thing

always fucking like trying to not be a pig story of my life I was proposition to be in a fin dom relationship he never sent me money I think because I wasn't mean enough any advice on how to be a better fin dom okay financial domination for those that are not aware is when a woman basically, I think, insults a man

and is like, send me money, fucking loser. And the guy gets off. And this person's not mean enough. Yeah. So one of the women employees here is not mean enough. To be in a Fendom relationship. Okay. Okay.

Advice to just start. We've already learned the hard ar pull some weight here. Yeah. There's a good way. You could pull that out to start. Yeah. dude I would get so rock hard

if a woman just kept dropping the N-word on me would be like, what do you want? You ever sling the R? No. Me either. No. Today? Oh.

All right. Never? Mm-mm. I thought it. You've thought it. When? Jerking off. Hell yeah, dude.

Yeah. You ever have your girl whispered to you? We'll try that later. Oh, dude. you do the fucking Brooklyn rap and have her say it you will blow a massive load I promise in 2020 I committed around $29,000 worth of mail fraud

Fuck yeah Anything to do there? Not really right Like if they didn't catch you They don't know about it No How do you feel about skirting this when people do Little things that aren't like Major crimes but they get away with

Some financial benefit? I don't like it when they try to justify it You're just like just say what it is. Yeah. Yeah. And when they try to defend it like crazy, like they're in the moral right and all that. You're like, no, you broke the law.

Yeah, that's what annoys me. Yeah, that makes sense. Do you get that allowed on the show? Yeah, lots of people who think, well, I mean, we had a guy who we haven't uploaded yet, but he's stolen a lot of things. He won't pay his taxes and he's fully justified it with. It supports his business, so. Oh, so therefore it's okay.

Therefore, it's okay because he used to employ people before. he fired them also. Yeah. That's not really... It didn't work for me. No. Like, just say what it is. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. It was still in trucks and things, I think. Really? I think. It was still in something. He was breaking into things and stealing things for the sake of his business. I mean, it kind of, like, it's like when somebody goes, if you were struggling enough, would you steal to

feed your family? And everyone's like. Like, yeah. Yeah, of course. But also, you stole, right? Like, you can just be like, yeah, I did it for this. But like. And also just get on food stamps. It's got food stamps, man.

Are they still around? Yes. No, we got people on food stamps endlessly on my show. Really? Endlessly. But, of course, they're on food stamps, which means they don't meet an income threshold, which I think in Texas is like, like for a single mom with two kids, it's like $3,500 a month. If you make under that, you get food stamps.

and oftentimes it's their choice not making that much money though and that's what's crazy I think it really sucks if someone gets laid off let's help them let's help the fuck out of them but when I have someone who comes on the show and they're like well I'm just trying to build my own business I'm like okay so we're literally

supporting you subsidizing you trying to create your business like I guess what I should have done when creating this thing instead of working two jobs at once I should have just stopped let the society support me so I could try this thing Yeah, but don't you think that just comes down to like there's never going to be, um, there's,

you're never going to convert somebody with that mindset to being like a driven winner. Yeah, absolutely. But of course, they're the one trying to build a business and we're supporting them. So what is there to do in the end? I don't know. Yeah. So hopefully fix the system, but. Yeah.

I'm not that guy. Um, do you believe in doing anything? to, like, if you're struggling to get by, and one of the housing we talked about is a big deal, right? And if you don't have the access to pay for the house that you need or the rent that you need, get roommates, just do whatever in order to, like, get by, right? Well, you need a roof over your head. Yeah.

Without, like, an address to mail, it's hard to get on benefits. It's hard to get a job. So you need an address. start. There's group homes. It's really not good. There's group homes where a woman could live with like five other women, 10 other women. It's not great, but there are so many options that people aren't willing to do as a last resort. That's what really sucks is people will justify the fuck out of getting a

two-bedroom apartment for them when it's 50% of their income. When we find on Zillow or Apartments.com, whatever, we find a studio apartment in the same area that is like, 60% of the cost on a monthly basis, but they just won't do it because they feel it's beneath them. Or I've worked my ass off in college to get this job so I can finally live on my own. I deserve the two-bedroom. So then they spend too much. Yeah.

And what you should do is be just doing whatever it takes to not spend as much, including offering yourself up. Black guys would love the fucking fuck good. If you're a hot black guy and you want to fuck. me at 2395. If you want to move in, you can move in, but you gotta fuck me. I need to be fucked a lot, man. Free food, free rent, and everything else, man.

He has a deal, man. You know. I want your take on something. I was having a debate with my friends the other day. Who do you think gives the best blow jobs? Between... Out of any group. Any group of people?

Just curious your take. I haven't had many from guys, so it's hard to say, like, if they're the best. But just, oh, your brain can get a little gay before your body, though. Right. So, like, what would you think? I would think that, like, a guy that's been chugging cock for years. I think it's black men. That's the hell I'm dying on.

That they give the best blow jobs? I think so. I think it's a sassy, fat black man. Wow. Because, I mean, no one really wants to get with a fat woman, but we know fat women give the best head because it might be the last one they ever see. Wow. But, think about it with a man.

You got the thick lips, big black dude, sassy. I feel like that has to be the top tier. You think the sassiness plays a role in the BJ? I think so. You get the motion in the sass. Okay. So that's what I personally think. I don't know if I'm willing to test it myself, but that's what I think.

And you're saying that the men, for sure you're saying are ahead of the women. I think so. They know how to work the system. They just know the parts better. Yes, of course. Hmm. And have you had anybody weigh in on this, like who has experienced this? Some people are just so afraid to think of a fat, black, sassy man, sucking their dick.

But what about, there's somebody out there, maybe who are watching this show that will tell you... Thank you. Whether or not that's true or not. And you get to come in their beard? Yeah. That's cool. Do you think they'd let you, though? I feel like they're taking it all.

Somebody with a beard might. I have a beard. Hmm. I've never thought of that. Shit. It's going to get your take on that, though. There's nobody gay here? No.

Fuck. That's a pretty gay voice, though. Yeah. We're overdue for one, though. Yeah. Well, let's put it out there. And this is a great thing. I mean, you won't be here for the feet.

But when this episode comes out, if you're in the gay community, is there like a, do you find a certain group gives the best, head. That's that's really interesting. It's important science. And then from women do you think there's a a class of woman that gives the best? The higher the class of obesity, the better. Unless we get immobile. Immobiles are immobile. I feel like a little less motion there. Oh, less. Okay. So that's where it starts, you know, it turns to go down again. So like a physically challenged person. Yeah. So on the chart,

there's like, there is a threshold. Oh, you thought about this a lot. Of course. The fat or the woman, the better it gets until you're immobile, then it starts going. going off the cliff. Wow. So like a skinny hot chick, no good. No, I mean, that's what you want. Right. But is it what your body craves? Right. No. They want a fat woman. Yeah. Slobbering like it's a meal. Mm-hmm. Dude, what do you think in the booth? Yeah, I think this checks out. I think, I think gay man for sure. Mm-hmm. But the, the fat black, those are all good takes. Any? I already said in the past we do everything better, so I'm sure we do that better too.

Wow. Shit, man. Mm-hmm. Cougar? I mean, these are all straight facts, it sounds like. Man, like everyone's supporting your idea. Of course. It's a hot take.

Yeah, that's a hot take. Spend less than you make, 50, 30, 20, and get a fat, black, sassy man to suck your dick. Also, get the Dollar Wise app and watch financial audit on YouTube. Those are all the plugs. I'm trying the Brooklyn Rapper on later. Dude, try the Brooklyn Rapp and do your accounting in cash only. That's the best advice I can give. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

This was super fun. And yeah, I hope we get to. I'm going to take you out on a helicopter. Fuck. Yep, it's happening. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time.

Welcome to Lucifer's Blair. Oh, guess I'm. You all know my judges by now? I'll guess them I come over and fuck the shit at me I'll guess them We'll clamp some of my nipples man Let's get down with breast hacks

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Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Let's get down with Bristax Get off! Oh yeah, you fuck, you must have been to feel. I come over and fuck the shit at me.

Smack me around. Open my legs. No holds bars. Day dad or by dad. With this fucking home man. Let's get down with brass tacks. Get off. Oh yeah

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