Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Dating Apps w/ Jay Larson | Your Mom's House Ep. 704

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

PULL YOUR JEANS UP!! On this week’s episode of Your Mom’s House, Tom Segura and Christina P discuss Tom’s plan to come in space, the possibility of another basketball game between two YMH staffers, and Tom’s new favorite activity: farting in front of and winking at Nadav. They watch some “Barista I Love You” videos sent in from friends of the show, as well as an update from the Dating Advice Cool Guy on “narcissistic game.”Comedian Jay Larson joins the Main Mommies to discuss his new special, “Sounds Like Bruce,” life as a dad, dating in the modern age, Vespas, and much more! Tim and Crystal introduce Jay to Blind Bob, teach him about narcissistic game, and show his some of Christina’s TikTok curations.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

This week on Your Mom's House. What makes you laugh makes me sad. And what makes me laugh makes you sad. I love Miracle Whip. See? I love the whip, baby. Gets a bad rap, but it's so tangy. Apsocrave, dude, you can see girls.

Every single chick on there is like, has every girl gone to the pyramids? I'm like, guess what? You know what I mean? Welcome. Welcome to Your Mom's House. Welcome home. Listen up.

We're back. It's another episode of Your Mama's Place. That's what a lot of times I meet people to go, I love your mama's place. Super gay. The guy stopped me the other day and he goes, man, I love your podcast. I go, thanks.

He goes, I was listening to your, your mom's thing with you and Burt. And I was like, that's it. That's what we do. So yep. But thank you. Thank you all for joining us, for watching, for listening,

for doing this while you drive, while you take a shit, whatever you're doing. Thanks for joining us. Speaking of shits, you said you had a pretty nasty one. What happened? Well, we had that place that makes salmon.

We get it pretty often. It's very oily. Not just the salmon, like there's a, there's some, I don't know what's made with it. They put broccoli, but then they put like some, what's it called?

The word. It's like. Coos-coos. Yeah. Something like that. Tabooly salmon. But it's always very oily in there. I don't, I only eat the salmon

in like a couple of bites, but it's too much. You're very sensitive to oils. Tomatoes. Garlic. But you know what? That didn't stop you. Onions.

Peppers. Didn't stop you. And I bet your anus is red. Yeah. This is my perfect red lipstick. Check it out. Fantastic ad. But see the peonline.com is right here.

The formula is fantastic. I'm wearing it now. And it's got the magnetic. That's my hole. To chow. Yeah. Go ahead and buy it. Go buy that.

It's modeled after Tom's post diarrhea. That's where it spits. Famous. Yeah. Yeah. Play with your cheeks. Ooh. We've got a new,

we've got a new Leo. Bob. Yeah. Bob's sweet. Bob's taking over. Funny that you mentioned him. There might be a little. Blind Bob.

Gift. B squared. From beyond. Gift of, the Bob is, we're not done with Bob. I'll tell you that. I'm getting it.

You don't think he's getting a painting that's going to hang behind me. You're out of your fucking mind. Lots to get into. Special guest coming in. It's going to be a fun one. What's the ice cream thing? What is it? I didn't even tell you.

I'll tell you later. Okay. I'll tell you on the show. You didn't even know about that. Okay. All right. Here we go. Here you go.

Yeah. How to keep a woman with the narcissistic gang. This might be the most evil form of gang known to mankind, but God damn it, it works. So go a little something like this. And by the way, if you use this, you're an asshole. But anyway, I'm a tissue. Meet a woman.

You'd be extremely charismatic and extremely charming at the beginning of the relationship. Your words are only used to disguise what you actually hear for. If she's in a city that she has a support system, you have to get her away from that and see, that's why you got to build that strong bun. Don't bring anyone fucking with him. Don't burn when the fuck is said. He tickles you, huh? Oh, so funny.

Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Tom Tsutsugura. And Chris Tsutsugura. And Chris Tsutsugura. And Chris Tsutsugura. And Chris Tsutsugura. And Chris Tsutsugura.

Welcome to your mom's house. Pretty cool, huh? So cool. You know what's interesting about us is that sometimes what makes you laugh makes me sad. And sometimes we meet right in the middle. Yeah. And Blind Bob is one of those where we meet in the middle. Today, this one makes me all sad because this is fucked up.

Yeah, yeah. Well, my favorite thing about this dude, he's always giving advice and half the time he's like, this is some fucked up shit to do. Here's how you do it. Here's how you do it. Here you go, bitches. This guy really knows how to play women, but he's just telling people you're an asshole if you fault this advice.

So my favorite thing is if this woman has like support in this, get her out of that town. So smart. Isolate her for where she has emotional support. Wait, that's what abusers do, abusive boyfriends. Yeah. That's like abusive boyfriend one-on-one, they isolate you. Yeah, it's pretty cool. If you use this, you're an asshole.

Okay. Yeah. So he's taking us through the first step. Use your charm. It's a lot of compliments. Isolate her from where she has a support system and then... If your bond is strong enough and you get her isolated, that's when you start step number three.

This is the emotional tear down. You start tearing down the way she looked, starting with her weight, facial features. You start telling her how good your ex was at this and that. At this point, she's already too deep embedded to you. You can make her feel so worthless to the point where she actually feels like you might be the only one that she deserved. It's evil as hell. It's trick his head.

I can't believe I taught you this one. Like he was forced to share that. Yeah. Yeah. It's just a public service announcement. That is hilarious, dude. That is... Women study that.

Oh my goodness. Yeah. He'll study him. He's giving... We've played him before. He's like, what did he... He did one advice... Oh, big dick problems.

That was a... He did not. Or my favorite, as I was just brushing my teeth in the bathroom, he was like, ladies come over, boys. You got to wash your bathroom. Get the flex off in there. And the fruit flies are going to give you away. Yeah.

He's going to clean up. Do it a few days before. It was good. He was out of town dating? How to get a woman with the out of town game. This one right here is pretty fucking good. I haven't used this one before, so it is what it is. Basically, all it requires you to do is when you're on a date with a woman or when you

meet a woman on a dating site, you go ahead and let her know. You ain't from here. You're just a visitor. You'll be here for another week or two. This is psychologically registered in her brain that the sexual advances are going to be spared up. And you won't look like a creep for doing this shit either. Good point.

Good point. I like that game. Also, if you're cheating on your woman or something, this is also a good one to use because this gives you an outing to get a hotel room. You say you're out of town, you're visiting your parents, and right now you're living at your parents' house. You really don't want to bring nobody back to your parents' house. So it gives you a reason to get a hotel room.

Boom. You can also use this one for people that flake on you. If she texts you back an hour later at 9 o'clock saying she overslept or some shit like that, just say fine. You know, it's too bad we couldn't have that much fun before I left town. You never know what you might get out of that. He's awesome. Yeah.

What a king. I love him. I love this guy. He's evil as hell. He's evil as hell. Okay. Yeah. But he's got a lot of answers.

He has all the answers. Yeah. This guy is a pussy mastermind. Yeah. Yeah. He's really, I mean, he's young. So he's definitely, I feel like he's had a mentor. Like he's, yeah, he had like an older brother or an uncle who was telling him all this shit

his whole life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a pretty young guy to be like that seasoned in all this. And he has the rules down. And he knows exactly what this dissertation is. It's pretty great.

Yeah. It's pretty great. Cool. Thank you for sharing. Well, a lot of single guys watching the show. You know what to do. Yeah. Tom, apropos our discussion on you coming in space.

Yes. As usual, our brilliant listeners, I love when they write in and they point out things that we didn't even consider. Sure. Okay. Here we go. During your discussion regarding space burps, I believe. Space burps.

I believe you have missed a crucial point that deserves to get some attention. While the topic of space cum was touched upon, I don't think the idea was fully flushed out. Oh. What you failed to consider was the fact in this zero gravity environment, any sort of ejaculate you produce while spanking the monkey will not be landing on your fat, hairy belly. However, it will continue to travel at the angle it is launched at while also maintaining its speed, opening up the door to some exciting possibilities.

Now, given the male ejaculate exits at around 25 miles per hour, some truly fun games could be played. Target practice from across the room, shooting your buddy in the face with cum from distances before unimaginable. If you are a cum champ like Tom and produce voluminous, Chad, smart, voluminous, voluminous, voluminous, loads, then all the more fun, just something to consider yours truly, Josh. Wow. Very thoughtful.

Chad, was that? Or Josh? This is from Josh. Josh, thank you so much. That is something we didn't really think about, that we could hit targets from across the room, across the shuttle. Correct. Yeah, that's really...

We don't consider the physics of these things, and that's why we need you listeners to write in with such important knowledge. Yeah, and you look, man, I have been on Twitter and Elon has been engaging people like you would not believe. Why aren't we hitting them up? Yeah. We're asking him, with every ounce of our might, Elon, are you going to send Tom to space to cum?

Why doesn't he know about this yet? Seriously. Why doesn't he put... He'll post a meme tomorrow if we hit him enough. Yeah. Yeah. Get Elon on this. Elon, have you had a study done yet on what happens when someone comes in space?

I don't think so. I'm willing to go up there for you. No, free of charge too. A celebrity, a major celebrity like Tom Segura, ready to come in space. This might be great promo for when my special comes out. Oh, it's really great. I'm coming everywhere. I'm coming everywhere to where it finally can end.

We could do that. Finally. It finally went to space. Everywhere. Yeah. And then the end of it is in space. That's so exciting, Tom. So exciting.

What a strange, wonderful world we live in. What a beautiful world, and Elon, I just want you to know that I'm willing to do it for humanity. I'm not trying to get paid, I just want people to know what happens. Hold on. Here's another problem. Not only is it the ejaculate an issue, but what will you be wearing as well? Because don't they wear special outfits?

Well, there's two. I've thought about this. Sure. There's one, if I just get a space seat and they're not down with the cum angle of this. It's upsetting. Yeah. Yeah. Why wouldn't they be?

Well, they just go, no, but then we know I'm still going to do it. I'm going to have to get real backed up, stay aroused, probably have to go up there with some good visuals. I might have to bring something with some downloads on it, just something to get my brain kind of in the mood. Because in that case, I'm going to have to, I think, not wear underwear, and yeah. Yeah. I might tether you to the craft and also the good news.

Fluff myself quite a bit before takeoff. A lot. I keep taunting myself. A lot. Get right edge a little bit. Yep. Yeah. Just really get close so that when they're like, hey, we're in space, I'm like, hold

on. Yeah. And they're like, what are you doing, man? And I'm like, I said I was going to do this. That kind of thing. I'm coming up for you. But if they're like, yeah, of course this is a good idea, then it's different because then they will arrange for it.

Which is even cooler. Very cool. And what's good about you already, your advantage in this, is that you already get aroused you've mentioned before. On flights. On flights. That's true. So this is space travel.

This is a whole other level of that. It's a little different. Yeah. I think once you get over the initial fear and excitement of the launch and you get comfortable out there, you're going to like the way you come. What if they're like, look, we can't play videos because of, you know... Pornography. Yeah.

Yeah. But they let me just tape still photos of like some woman's asshole over here. You just see them all tape with Scotch tape in my little room. Your cubby. Yeah. That'd be so cool. Someone bent over. Just like, it's like all, it's like 70s style.

Yeah. You just have to rip pages out of magazines. Yeah. Tape them up. The olden dimes of jerking. Yeah. Like an old mechanic shop. Yeah.

But we're up in space. Oh, the irony being in this multi-billion dollar shuttle. But I had to tape photos. Yeah. It could happen. I mean, there's only one way to make it happen and that's for all of us to come together and hit up the old E-man. Yeah.

Let them know. We want to go. Let them know. Yeah. I want to come in space, dude. By the way, I've still gotten messages every day about the basketball game, the one-on-one game with David Walter. The great David Walter.

Very funny. What a great sketch. My goodness. The production on that, the game, the story and it got me thinking, you know, one-on-one is a really exciting, fun thing for people to do. And I heard murmurs that there might be. Is that right? Is that a murmur?

Is that right? Yeah. That there might be a one-on-one game between our very own Annie and Ryan Hall. That's what I heard. I heard you guys might play one-on-one. Y'all are really trying to do this, huh? Did you all really try to make this happen? Wait.

Did you guys not talk? I mean, we talked, but. Okay. So I'm not making this up. Yeah. But he was the one who started that shit. Oh. I ain't really got shit to say about basketball.

You know what I'm saying? I haven't played that shit since I was like fucking, I don't know, 10. This isn't Annie. I'm not aware. I've never met Annie before. Yeah. Humble Annie. I've never met the Annie that says, I don't know, I'm not really into that.

I only know an Annie that goes, I'll fuck up LeBron James tonight. And then he always says cap. Yeah. Everything is cap. Yeah. Everything is sus. Oh, fucking Lenovo here is just learning all the slang the kids use. Yeah, he's wearing a cap.

What's he even doing? So wait, would you do one-on-one with Ryan or no? I mean, I'm never going to not do a one-on-one. Okay. I'm like, I'll still win, you know what I'm saying? So you are saying you would win? I mean, I definitely could. That's the real, I don't know if I would, it depends on, you know, a lot of things.

Okay. So it sounds like what you're saying is you could, you're leaving the possibility open until maybe you wouldn't because you don't play a lot of basketball. You haven't played a lot of basketball. Yeah. I'm over a decade. But you're still confident enough in your skill set that you're capable of beating him.

And also, I mean, man, this nigga's got like a fucking, a bad heart and shit talking to me like he going fucking, man, he going to be like collapsing on the fucking, on the damn court before we could even get to point to like, I don't even know, does he really want to even do this shit? I don't know. I think you may have motivated him with that. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, would stakes at all make it interesting to you? I mean, I think, I think you guys should play for a cash prize personally, you know, yeah. It's kind of, it's kind of weird, though, I am playing my boss for well, make it reasonable. Make it. I mean, you guys could play each other for a reasonable amount of money. Oh, no. What would you wager? What would you personally wager where it's not, it can't be something that affects your

lifestyle. But that's all. That's the only thing that I want to bet though. I understand. It sounds like someone's having a little fun at the table, but like, you wouldn't play like one on one. It doesn't take that. Don't do what I did.

Play to 11. Don't play to 21. 11 is, can be over relatively quickly. Yeah. That's better for him, though. And Ryan just messaged me saying there is zero chance that any 10 Gs, let's fucking all train nigga. You want to fucking really put that.

You really want to put that out there like that, like you just got me, like I'm that type of nigga. You say that shit. Okay. All right. We are filming this. We're definitely filming this. All right.

That was fun. I like this anyway. First of all, as your employer, I cannot allow you to bet 10 Gs on this thing. No way. That's too crazy. It's too crazy. I can fucking spot it. I'll figure it out.

I'll get another job. When you go, I have to figure it out. It doesn't make me feel comfortable. I think you should bring it down to a little more, just slightly more economic level. That's a significant amount of money. You guys obviously both have to agree on it. I could say this. I mean, yeah.

Yeah. For people that don't know, Ryan not only works here, he runs here. He's my boss. He's your boss. Talking this shit. So yeah, I mean, we should figure out the terms. I feel like, I know 10 G is very emotional thing to say. It's very aggressive.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm about it though. I know you are. I know you are. Also, I'm going to show you roll up to work on a bike for the next fucking few months. Yeah. No, but I think we should definitely have one alone would be fun to watch.

I think you would be amazing, especially if it's up to 11, which means it's fast and furious. Yeah. Yes. There's a lot at stake in a shorter amount of time. Dude, do you realize that after that video of me and David playing, I got hit up by college kids. They're like, yo, dude, we all play to 11.

That was since they're like, we get tired. That's funny. What are you doing? They're like, I mean, 11. I was going to play to 11. I always thought I was 11. And then everybody, I just saw people hitting me up being like, it's got to be 21. And I just went for it.

But 11 is quicker. It's reasonable. And I have to tell you that, you know, any, he's got a lot of swag, a lot of confidence. I would like to see him have a big win. And I think you'll be fun to watch you like throw your dick around on the basketball court. I feel like you are doing what the out of town game guy just did right now. And you're, you're, you're inflating him up and I'm, I'm here for it. Get him going.

I'm being sincere. I would like to see him in. I think it'll be fun to watch you guys compete because you're right, Ryan Hall's on his death bed with that heart. He hasn't been in the office in months. You know, he's dying. I don't think you're dying. His teeth are rotting out of his head.

What the fuck are you talking about? He eats candy nonstop. He needs like 20 root canals. The guy's not in good shape. What? You didn't know this about him? No. His teeth are rotting out of his head.

He told you this? Of course. Everybody tells me everything. You don't know this about me? Yeah. You know, you know, I heard that he has trouble working out at home too. You know, his wife calls him Regina when he works out. What?

You know that? Cause he's like every time he gets like 15 minutes on the treadmill, he's like, oh, god. Oh. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh God.

There's Red Hole. Ryan. I was, I really had your back the last few minutes. Dude. I'm just, I don't, I promised to never come on camera and just my teeth were like the final straw. Yeah. So, I don't know anything about this.

Are your teeth okay? They're pretty bad. They're pretty bad. How many root canals do you need, Ryan? I have one on, I have one on Thursday. Okay, does it impede your jump shot? No. Okay, so you've been paying attention.

Huh? Any, immediately, it was like 10 grand. I'll beat him. When you said it like that. I know. Personally, I feel like, I mean, I'd have a real problem with him. It's a lot of scratch.

Betting that amount, I think it's too aggressive. I do need a new fire feature for my pool. Oh my gosh, how much is it? About 10 grand. All right, how is your heart, though? That's the concern, but you know, we're not doing it tomorrow. No, we're not doing it tomorrow,

and you would get clearance from a doctor to do this. Totally. Have to. Totally. What do you think, I mean, I think till 11 is what you actually do. Definitely till 11. Ones and twos, right?

Ones and twos. Ones and twos. You know how to, you know how to play basketball? You know what ones and twos means? Oh. I don't even know what it means. With Tom, I was there, you weren't, by the way, you didn't show up,

but you know, it'll be the next you show up. Literally, my heart surgery. Oh. Oh. Oh. I thought that was it. Oh, man. Okay, okay.

Sleeping in the mountains, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. So, Oh. Oh, man. I'm so excited. This is heart surgery cap, Annie?

We have to get the, we have to get the same wrap. Definitely. Definitely. And we have to film this, you guys. We have to film this. It's too exciting. Dude, Ryan Hall's looking at me.

Hate daggers. I don't know how to do that. What do you feel like? Okay. I know you're like right now, you're emotional, the competitive juices are going, and he's called you out. But do you honestly feel like

that it's reasonable to bet that amount? I mean, I know you're confident that you'll win. That's your mind's going, yeah, cause I'll get that. Do you, is it okay? Is it ethically okay to wager that amount with your employee? I don't think I can take 10 Gs from him.

Yeah. Man Gs, wait a minute. So we ain't even doing 100? 10 Gs. 10 Gs. Oh, 10 Gs. 10 Gs. Oh, no, no, no.

I can't take that much money from you. I get to see you every day. Yeah. No, you can't. Or maybe it's. Now I'm team Ryan Hall. I feel like he needs a win. Health's in the shitter.

Teeth are rotten out of his skull. You literally make it sounds like, she makes it sound like you're in fucking hospice right now. Like, this guy's about to go. I know, that's the fun part. It did take me a while to walk back here. Okay.

So that is a factor. It is a factor. How long do you think, without consulting, because I know you're gonna have to consult with the doctor, how soon could you play reasonably play? A month. You think in a month? Really?

I have my check-in on first one tomorrow and then the other one on Friday. So I'll know tomorrow, if it's. Okay. So we can get an answer to this pretty soon. Okay. I mean, it's not gonna take much energy to beat him. You just have to back him.

Well, I mean, you just have to back him. If he doesn't know how to play basketball. Can I just tell you guys, this changed my day. Like, it changed my spirit. And like, I mean, I'm so excited. Your heart is a rock right now. I am about to come into space right now. My money's on Ryan.

Thank you Chad. Thank you Chad. I'm really concerned about my money's on Chad. And I know, just what I know about any, everybody who pulls for Ryan is just gonna drive him harder. That's true. Yeah.

Oh man. I'm so excited. Ryan's got fire in the belly. The only thing that like, I mean. I like that. And this is not a secret. I'm not revealing a secret here. What?

I mean, any, did not play, like he's not a kid who grew up playing ball. He's like said, last time I played ball was like five years old. And Ryan played basketball. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. And played a lot. It is a factor.

I wonder why, why do you think that's not as much as a fact? Like most people would go like, this person has played this a lot. Why doesn't it affect just the heart? Like just that heart thing? Oh, why could I win? Like most people would they go, someone has played a sport a lot that you haven't played.

Go, well, that's obviously a huge advantage that they're familiar with the sport much more. You don't think that's a factor? And they go, I'm wrestling Joe Rogan. I like and get destroyed. You like it as advantage. I like a disadvantage. I don't want to fucking play a game.

I'm gonna win. I want to play again that I shouldn't win and then win anyway. Okay. That's the mentality. That's cool. So you accept though that he's much more likely to win. Yeah.

Okay. All right. This is, God, you're such an interesting guy. Wow. This is hilarious. What would you feel comfortable if he lost, if he lost, I'm just throwing, I'm just having this conversation.

If you were to beat him, what's the reasonable about as his boss that you feel like, you know, my employee could hand this over to me and I would not feel ethically challenged by this. I don't know if it would be money. Is it more fun if we did something, you know, like work related where I have to do something,

you know, for you or vice versa. Oh, that's interesting. Oh, humiliations is always fun. Yeah. I was gonna say that. I think you have to switch a show. Oh, shit. Oh, I see what you mean.

It can't be that hard. Oh, damn. I know how hard it is for him. Damn, dude. I'm gonna do a new tool. Oh, shit. Jesus. He's talking a lot of shit.

And he's one of the most talented guys I know. He's very basketball. No, that's very nice. He's very talented. Brian is a great boss. I would agree with this. So then, you know, I mean, that's kind of an interesting one like you doing his job,

but what would he do if you win? What kind of thing would you have any do? You know a lot about spreadsheets and contracts, conference calls. Yeah, I could play all of them. No, we'll think something more fun. Yeah, so it's gotta be something fun. Can't just be a reversal of roles.

It's gotta be like just complete humiliation. Sure. Okay. For sure. He's got a shit in front of us. Everyone. No. No, no, no.

Nope. That's a good one. That's a good one. That is a nay. What about we just get to x-ray his intestines and see how much is in there or something like that? That's really interesting. Or can we take him to get a cleanse?

Like what you did? Oh, yeah. And see how much shit's in there. Would you do that? Would they put water up in you? We could see how much. Wait, so some gotta go in my ass. I'm awake for that?

Yeah, but I mean, it feels good. What about ayahuasca on camera? Jesus. Seeing you like, trying to get my deepest darkest secrets out there on camera, that sounds fun. That's kind of fun. Shit.

I'd have to be able to veto some shit. I might say some shit I'm not cool with. Yeah. That's the idea. All right, I'm into this. Yeah, we'll keep thinking of it. But like let's not kick this too far down the road. I want the wager and the date set varies.

I want the okay from the doc first. Let's start with cardiologist. Yeah, yeah. Doctor's first, but as soon as he okays it, we set it up. Deal. Deal? All right. All right.

We'll talk to you gentlemen soon. All right, came in with some fire. That was fun. Woo, right hall came in here heated up. Dang, I love that. He's fired up. Fired up. Shit's going to happen.

That's pretty tight, bro. Whew, man. Yeah, we went to think of some good humiliations. I can see the fire at Annie's right now. Oh, I know. He's like, I'm a dunk on this motherfucker right now. Yeah, he knows. Annie is like, that's the good thing about him

is the attitude. It's always in the swag, the bravado, like how the fuck this shit up. But that gets people in trouble, you know? It's both. That's what's interesting to see. Will he succeed or will he fail? Annie, no cap, Kravitz is going to win.

No cap. No cap. Can we, do you mind? I know our guest is going to be arriving shortly. Do you mind if we watch some barista? I love you videos. Yeah, sure. I really just look forward to these.

And we've got some real quick. I do have to tell you this though. Go ahead. I fucking, I don't know how this happened organically. And now it's my favorite thing in the world where I was in the hallway like a week ago. And I had to fart. And I farted and Nadav was right next to me.

And then I winked at him. And it's like my favorite thing I've ever done. And he doesn't like it. So hold on, let me get this right. He has to be next to you or in proximity to you. He's in proximity. I fart and then I give him a wink. That's menacing shit.

And he doesn't like it. I hate it. It's so fucking menacing. Why? It's fucking cool. No, because it's like I won't even hear the fart, but then you'll wink at me. I'm like, oh, I know what just happened.

But when you do hear it and then you get the wink, it's the best. It's worse, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm actually, I'm literally trying to save fart. Like if I feel when I'm like, oh, I got to wait till I get next to Nadav so I can do it and wink at him. I love this.

You know what I like about it? Last time he did it, he was just like, oh, I'm trying to do this more. And I'm like, what? You're like farting and winking at you. It's so cool. I love it. You could try it at home too.

This is one of those things you can take with you. You can do it at work. You can do it with your friends. Believe me, it leaves an impact. You know what I like is it's a little condescending. It's kind of a power move. Yeah, a little bit. This one's for you, buddy.

Yeah, this one's for you. And it's not. Nobody wants the gift. It is. And it is for you. No one wants it. No one wants this. Yeah, very cool.

OK, Barista, I love you, as we've been telling you guys that when you go to the drive through your order, say I love you. And we've seen a whole host of reactions. People don't hear it. People laugh. People say, I love you back. It's a fun thing we've been doing.

And if you can sneak in a hey Hitler, do so quietly. But that's like bonus points if you can sneak in a hey Hitler. Also cool. OK. I kind of had us going in one direction, and then you took us to another place. OK. Here we go.

Hey. Can I get a high model? A sparse tuner bowl, please. A tuner bowl? Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I'll get a, oh, no cloth there, please. Yes, please.

That's it. For here? Yeah, for here. Thanks. Whenever you're ready. Thanks, James. OK. All righty.

Hey, look at the nerves. Excellent. Thank you. Ow, your hands. That is, that's Nick Simmons. Nick Simmons, friend of the show. He's been on, uh, where my mom's at. Yes.

And, um, the great thing, he took it to another level. He did this in dining. Yeah. This was a counter service. Yeah. Dry it through, you get through. I love you, and then drive away. He did face to face.

And he was like, thanks, I love you. Now, he also did the cadence that you can get away with the most, which is kind of, he goes, you go, hey mommy, I'm trying to get it. So you kind of go with it, and even at the end there, he was like, all right, I love you. Like that. Yeah, I just love you.

You kind of make, you can continue it, and you do it in the same tone as your regular, make sense order. Yeah. And then if you do that, it kind of just fades along, and they kind of don't know. You know what's great about this video is you can just see the nervousness in his face.

He's nervous. It's fantastic. Yeah. It's like the stakes are so high, but all it is, yeah, look at his little face. It's so cute. Thanks, I love you. Thank you.

And then he's like, oh my God, I did it. I got away with it. That was great. That was the best feeling in the world. Good job, Nick. Well played. Good job. You're sending it.

Big balls, doing it in the restaurant. Big balls. That's a whole new thing. There's Chris Rogers. Yes, I am, mommy. Thank you. Can I have two large hot coffees with coconut milk and one stevia?

Say anything else? No, that's it, mommy. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. That felt good. That felt good. That felt good.

I might have to keep doing this shit. Oh my God. Chris Rogers is an amazing artist. He's painted murals and paintings, and he's actually currently, you can see his stuff in Austin as he's paid to things around town, and incredible artists, but he's currently painting a mural here at YMH Studios that is, I don't think we've actually shown the whole thing yet. Right?

Not just bits and pieces. It's bits and pieces. It is... He's so talented. Pretty fucking... Oh, he's wildly talented. Oh, gosh. And he gave a...

He didn't do the thing. He didn't do, man, I love you. He said, thanks, I love you. So he did. Yeah. This is what's known as risk taking, because this is where it can actually pay off more or go the other way, but you're like, what? What they did was completely shut down.

They were like... Yeah. Yeah. But he got a kick out of it, which is fun. Yeah. That's the best part, because you're really just sending a nice message. Yeah. Can I have you?

Hi. Can I get a medium coke, regular coke, please? Medium coke? Yep. Okay. That's it. One medium coke. Press window.

Thanks. Love you. She laughed. Oh, that's great. That was great. She laughed. And when I pulled up, she had the biggest smile on her face. Oh, so you made her day.

Yeah. That was pretty cool. That was a clean one. So clean and easy. Yeah. And also, I love that the laugh was delayed. She was like... She was like, what?

Yeah. It was like... It was a nice delay to the laugh. Because you gave her... Oh, it was like that. You gave her... That's the laugh. That's a great laugh.

Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't hear that a lot. That was amazing. Oh, here I am. Hi, mommy. Do you guys have chocolate croissants? Yes, we do.

May I please have two jeans? Two. And then a double espresso on ice with a little bit of oat milk. That's it. Thank you, jeans. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. That's it. Thank you, jeans. Absolutely. That'll be 10-14 today. Okay. I love you.

I love you, too. I love you, too. I love you. I love you. I think we get the two best reactions you can get. Somebody laughing or someone being like, love you, too. So the best part of this is our children were in the backseat doing this. Yeah, for both, yeah.

Every time I go through a drive through with them, they go, mom, you didn't say I love you. And actually, this ended up being really sweet. So I went to the window and he obviously knew what I told him. I loved him. And he goes, I just want to ask you, because he saw that I was married. He goes, I wish I had somebody who gave me a ring like that. And he goes, you have any advice? And I go, I've been the same guy for 17 years.

And we just talked about love. And I said, yeah, I think the best thing is to share values and marry somebody that you could sit in a cafe with and talk to them for hours and that you see the same thing. So for instance, if like some weirdo walks by, I go, oh my God, do you see that? And your mate should go, oh my God, yeah. Versus what? I don't see it. Then you're never going to be happy.

You're like, that's somebody from another country. Like how fucking weird they are. Yeah, they dress all stupid. Yeah, make fun of them. Learn how to dress. Speak English. Yeah, dipshit. So, well, that's usually the conversation we have in cafes.

100%. Share the conversation. I just like, yeah. All right, let's take a quick break. Okay. And we'll be right back. Right back. We're back and you can go right now.

This instant, this very moment to YouTube and check out the new special Sounds Like Bruce. Give it up for Jay Larson, everybody. It's a great title. Thank you. That's a great title. It's from one of the all time bits. It's like, it's an all time bit. Thanks buddy.

It really is. I remember. I got to know, basically, if you get a bit like this, you can still come up with great stuff, but that is one of those, you only get one or two like that in your whole career. If you're banging out stuff all the time, you don't get 10 of these. No. That's a fucking- I'll meet people and they'll be like, oh my god.

You know what joke I love? And I'm like, the wrong number joke? They're like, how'd you know? I'm like, because. Yeah, yeah. But I remember when that happened, like driving down the freeway and it was happening to me. I was just like, this is happening. Like I called my friend in Atlanta and I'm like, you're not going to believe what's going

on. Yeah. It's such a good bit. And I'm so glad you put it in the special because I remember you doing this when we would do like little rooms and showcase spots in LA and it needed to be in a special, dude. Yeah, thanks buddy. I appreciate that. Where did you shoot the special?

I shot it here in Austin. Oh, you did? Yeah. At the creek in the cave. Oh man. They keep getting specialist shot there. That's awesome. I was in Portland, Oregon, because Lance Bangs was directing it and he lives there.

And then I was doing a weekend and I go, should we just do it there because I saw Shane special and I thought it looked great. It looked great. It was awesome. And I'm like, you know, Rebecca was like, yeah, come do it. What's that look? What? He just burped.

Oh, he puts a cute little face on it. Yeah. Yeah. And he, but what's really. I just wigged at you. He wigged. Yeah, I heard before. Yeah, yeah.

That mean you just dropped a fart in here? No, I just burped. I've never done that. Oh, I get the burp. Like, right? Congratulations, Christina. But it's been, it hasn't been today, right? Right.

It's always just been right before we start recording you burp right into the mic. Okay. Tell you, do your mic check. Mm-hmm. Very cool. Mine was accidental and I tried to, you know, like hide it. Yeah. I wasn't trying to go like.

No, I know. I know. I just didn't know what was happening. My face. Because my face did go. You did a little something there. That's true. Yeah.

So you still knew he was burping. No, I didn't. I knew something was wrong. I just thought he was, I didn't know if he was like joking around about like what he was saying or yeah. My hands were cold. Yeah, I don't like that. Am I dying?

Yeah. No, it means you have a warm heart. This is what my aunt Gert used to say. Is that right? She was like, cold hands is a warm heart. Oh, sweet. She also didn't know what the fuck was going on. Yeah, she's a real bitch, right?

No, she's old. Yeah, she did. Oh. She did. She did dimension and you're going to die soon because these hands are really. I was freezing. What's that all about? She got to a point where she couldn't walk and she would sit there and she would, we're

playing games at like her dining room table and she goes, I'm playing with my other aunt. You know, this one was 98, the one dying. She was 90. Oh my God. And then we're playing Scrabble. And then my aunt Gert is like left out because she can't play Scrabble and she can't walk and she goes, who wants some tea? And my aunt Ru goes, all right, Gertie.

All right, knowing she's not going to make tea. Yeah. Right? Two minutes later. Who wants, I think I'll make some tea and aunt Ru is like, all right, Gert. It will be fine. No one needs any tea right now. And then she goes, I'd like to make some tea.

And I go, you know what? I'll have some tea. Just thinking, like, see what Gertie pulls and she just did this. Like, couldn't get out of the chair and just kept, because I said, let me get some of that tea. She struggled for you. Yeah. Yeah.

She wanted to do it. Yeah. She couldn't though. But she exercised and that was a good thing. Well, she tried to, yeah. Yeah. So you got good genetics in the fam. Old school.

People are living in their nineties? Oh yeah. Auntie Gert was 98. Both sides are they living in that? No, this is just like my mom's, my mom's mom was 86. Her sister was 100. Wow. Her other sister was 98.

Her brother was 99. Wow. So you got a shot. And then 102. You got a shot. Auntie Lil. Yeah. I got a shot.

Are they healthy? I mean, aside from dementia? They're all dead, yeah. No, no. I mean, like, how are those later a year? Yeah. Yeah, they were. They were all right.

Yeah. They get a little spunky when you get a little later in life. Like when Auntie Rue. Yeah. I mean, when Auntie Lil turned 100, I interviewed her on camera and I asked her, like, what do you think love is? What do you think life is about? What is friendship to you?

She gave me all these beautiful insights and then she, and the walker, she, like, walks me out. I was home visiting from LA and there was a courtyard and I go, look at that nice little courtyard. So I get an old age home. She goes, yeah, that's all right. And I go, what do you do out there? She goes, nah, last week we had a clam bake.

And I go, how was that? And she goes, bad lobster. And I go, oh, lobster's nice. And she stops and she goes, yeah, wouldn't you believe some people took two lobsters? And I go, oh, really? And she goes, yeah, guess who? And I, and I'm thinking it's her, right? So I go, who?

You? And she goes, no, the Jews. They never get enough. Can never get enough. I'm like, what do you, first of all, how does she even know? There was probably no Jewish people there. There's probably one. There was one, yeah.

And it's this old school, when they get old, they just, they retract, they go back. That's the best, man. When you're with someone old and they just let it fly, it's so comforting. It's so, I love it. You got to let it slide. What are you going to do? Start trying to enlighten her in 100. No way, 100 years old.

Let me tell you something. It's a horrible stereotype and like, come on. Yeah, who gives a shit? I don't die, racist. You can never get enough. Never. It's never enough lobster to go around. It's always because of the same.

They don't even eat shellfish. Isn't that right? No. Can confirm, yeah. Thank you. Nidolf, I want to ask you a very serious question. Do you really think the Jews are greedy? Is that really true?

I mean, and you hate them, yeah, you really think so? Yeah. You think it's actually a cultural truth? Yeah. Give me my slice and then also 10%. Wow. Jesus Christ. Good Lord.

I mean, I don't want to be for being Jewish all the time though. You're Jewish, right? And I love it. It feels so good. I'm like, I'm something. I get it too. Do you? I get it.

Yeah, yeah. Feels good. Yeah. Really? Because your nose? Yeah. I think your nose is... Dude, by the way, your boy's been looking good, huh?

He looks amazing. So fit. So fresh and so clean, clean. How's the back? Fit as fuck. Back is strong. But there's hair on it. Oh, but he's a real man, Jaylon.

You like it then. I love his hair. It's all that matters, yeah. I'm the first man that I had relations with that was that Harry and like just a stinky old bear and I loved it. Yeah, that's nice. I just love it. How's your back?

Clean? No. You're a mess? I fuck with it though. I try and like get a little shave and then you can only get so many angles and it's like I don't have a buddy. It's patchy. Yeah.

And it's like I don't have a buddy to do like a trim, then I'm just like out in the wild and you're like, fuck. I just let it rip. If something comes up. Yeah. Sometimes you want to watch the shirt line. Yeah. That's crazy.

And then you just go up over the edge like creep and it's crazy. So are you dating people? Are you on the apps? I'm on one app. And how does that work? What's it like going from like your Gen X or like us? Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, it used to just like meet people.

That was just meet people. And now you're swiping. And I'm and I crush in the wild. In the wild. Oh, I'm unbelievable out there. Yeah. My buddy was out with me. He's like, dude, you're unbelievable.

I go, I know, dude, my game's crazy. But then. What is your game? I forget that I'm 47. You know what I mean? What is your game though? Talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime. Yeah, you're always like that.

Always. So even when I was married, I wasn't even flirting. I just like talking to people. Yeah. Like I remember one time this woman was at the grocery store and she's like looking at tomato sauce. And I just look over and I go, is price an issue? And she goes, no.

And I go, you got to go. Rayo's. So we got to be. Like what do you mess with this other stuff? And she's like, I don't know. And I go, all right, well, it's up to you. And then I went to check out and I forgot something in another house. I run back and I see her and in her in her barrel or in her carrot.

She had the rails. And I go, see what I'm talking about? There you go. Yeah. And then you could have fucked her probably. You're like, let's take that Rayo's home and I'll pour it on your tits. Right? I mean, that was going to be my next line.

Yeah. Is it rails or is it rails? It's rails. Is it? How do you know? Because I've eaten there. And it's really called Rayo's. Let me tell you something.

Do you guys not know about Rayo's? No. I've bought it many times. Right. It's good stuff. But it's a restaurant on 118th Street in Harlem. And when they opened, they were up there in Harlem and they couldn't get business. You know what I mean?

So they started selling. No, the blacks. That's why. Oh, the blacks. What's that? Are they Jews too? Go ahead. Go with the story.

I love that you can. Why is it? I said this last time on stage like you can, I say like this joke where I'm like, I'm trying to be a good white, but you'd never say a black, you know, like, yeah. So you know, this white came over. You wouldn't say. No, you could. Yeah.

I know. You just did. And I liked it and I appreciated it. So they couldn't, they couldn't get people into the restaurant. So they started selling the tables. So that restaurant, all the tables are owned at that restaurant. So like, that's cool. You guys would have Tuesday nights, the first of the month, those are yours.

That's your table. No money's exchanged. You're, everyone's on an account. That's cool. I like that. So I always wanted to go there. And then my ex's friends, uncle owned a table Frank Pellegrino, not own the restaurant. Oh, own the restaurant.

Yeah. And she, when she called us one night in New York and she's like, do you guys want to go to Rao's? And we're like, yeah, it was like 930. She's like, all right, I'll order for us. Meet me there. We have a set at a two top next to the kitchen while the whole restaurant, like her uncle's dancing with two elite models, six foot models to like, when the moon, it was like mafia.

And then he sat at the table with us, past clothing, smoking cigarettes, just telling us how like his voice, his voice mail is like, Gwyneth Paltrow was like, I'm going to be in town. He turned away Madonna and A-Rod one night. They came in and he's like, sorry, like, no, you know, but now they have one in LA. They have one in Vegas that like anyone can go to. And this is, um, and so that was the food unbelievable. The seafood salad there is the jam.

Really? Okay. Let me tell you something. Rao's. Rao's. And then the meatballs. Vinnie Rao. Yeah.

You want to get them in here? Yeah, let's get them in here. Vinnie Rao. But Rao's sauce slaps. It's the best. Yeah, it is the best. Anything else is dog shit. I know.

Once you get a taste of that. That is true. At the grocery store, you're fucking around if you're not getting it. Yeah. Once I've, yeah. Me and my ex used to get Rao's for us and then we would get like the low end shit for the kids. Of course.

You know? We used to get them like stuff loaded with sugar. You know? Like prego or ragu. Maranara. Prego. And they have the sensitive formula for your lame ass friend who doesn't like onions to me.

I don't like tomatoes. Who? Oh, buddy of mine. Tomatoes upset me, garlic, onions, and peppers. I don't like any of it. It makes me, it gives me, my hip hurts. So he's going to have to go carbonara or something. This dude.

Carbonara. At some point, don't you just X him as a friend? You're like, I'm out. Yeah. I mean, it's a, you know, restaurant eating and he's like, how, what kind of oil do you prepare this in? You're like, Jesus Christ. I can tell you as a woman, nothing makes my pussy drier than a man that won't eat stuff

in the restaurant. You're like, what are you doing? Just fucking eat it. And there's no spice, right? Oh my God. He confirms that. Yeah. You know, there's one thing I've learned in dating, CP.

Yeah. Tell me. Tell me. And you just make a plan and you're like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And they're just like, done. Love. Love. They don't care.

They'll take a seven who plans shit. What kind of plans do you do? You mean like the whole nights planned? It's not like, Hey, do you want to go out sometime? You go, Hey, do you want to go out Tuesday night around eight? I was thinking, and you name a restaurant. And they're like, Holy shit. This guy has thought it out.

And then they, then they'll be like, you want to make a resume? Like, no, I got one. You know, I got a two top inside. I got one outside to look at what do you need? Like, because it shows that he was thoughtful and that he really wanted to spend that time with you and plan out. Why do you think that most beautiful thing? The thing is that most men, most men just go, I don't know.

Yeah. Like that's like, if you go, you want to do something this weekend, most guys just go like, whatever. And this is like the other side of why women are so attracted to, you know, they find it so appealing when a guy's like, I have plans. I don't know why most men just go like, whatever you want to do is fine. I don't know either. I think cause they're just like, either they don't want to do the work or they're afraid

they're going to make a mistake. Yeah. Afraid of mistake is a big one. Yeah. When it's just like, who cares? Just go, trust me, you're going to have a good time. You're going to enjoy it. And that's it.

Yeah. But if they don't, then you're the a-hole that ruined the night. No, but here's the thing. That's the fear. You run with it. But you're not. Yeah. You just roll with like, oh, tonight's such a fucking disaster.

That's true. That's what you should do. And like, if there's alcohol and food involved, it's always going to be fun. Yeah. Like just get drunk, are you dating now, I mean, I'm not with anybody. So wait, tell us about the apps. How does that work for you? Apps are great.

Dude, you're going to see girls. Every single chick on there is like, has every girl gone to the pyramids? I'm like, get it. You know what I mean? Every one of them. Here's my philosophy. I get so, everyone is putting out the ultimate version of themselves. Right.

You know what I mean? It's like, you went to Egypt once, show me, show me what it's like when you're out of bread and you want to make a breakfast sandwich, what are you working with? Can you bring an almost stale bagel back to life? That's what I want to know. So wait, what is your profile like? Yeah. How do you mark yourself?

I put out, I got one picture of me in the A, G, and C, now I'm just kidding. Where, he said. Isn't that a C, the A, G, and C? That's the way you said it. I was like, this guy's never been to school. I didn't get A, G, and C. I was like, what? Listen, they also like dumb guys. Okay.

No, I just have like, you know, I do have like pictures of me that I think of the best versions of myself. Sure. Yeah. But I don't have any, like, I don't really have travel ones. Okay. But I also like don't like any women who don't write something about themselves. What do you do for bio?

Like, give me a taste of the bio. Hey, what's up? That's the bio? What's up? No, I put something like, hey, I put what I'm into. You know what I mean? You're sincere. It's sincere?

Sincere, yeah, for sure. I'm into this. This is what I like. I would love to find. That's what I would like to find. And you're talking about, do you do the things that people go like, I'm into relationships or I don't want to relate, right? Do you pick?

I don't really get into that yet. You don't get that far. I let, let's meet and let's talk and let's figure it out because let's be straight up. Some women, I would be like, yo, I'll change everything if, if it's the right person. Do you know what I mean? At the same time, I'm like, you know, when you're bouncing back from a divorce, you're like, you're starting your life over again. Yeah.

So there's certain things I'm like, well, I want to get these things in line before I like bring someone into my life and I also am not introducing anyone to my kids unless I know this is someone I really want to be with. Serious. Yeah. I don't just, you know. So everything depends on the person, I think. It's got to be tough to market yourself because I've been with, like Chase will show me the

apps may, may feature act and we'll swipe and like women, the littlest thing can turn us off. I know. You know, like for me, I tell you, first of all, if I were on looking at profiles and if the guys like got a beer in every picture, I'm out. Of course. Like why is that your profile? You're getting hammered.

I'd be like, I'm done. That's what he's into. Yeah. That's all he wants. Yeah. So you know, I was like, oh, this person's an alcoholic. But then the travel photo, you think, yeah, I look interesting. I like to travel.

But then it's such a basic bitch move. It is. But then at the same time, when you're a dude with two kids and someone's like, I like to travel, you're like, uh, how much travel you think we're going to do? You know what I mean? Like, what do you think I'm going? Yeah. I also hear girls with the angel wings are the big pick.

The girls that stand in front of like the murals or the angel. Yeah. Anyone that's so basic. Put it this way. That's so spiritual. Yeah. But I will say this. If I see a woman with a, in an art museum, I'm intrigued.

Okay. If there's only one and it's a known artist, like known by you went through eighth grade, I'm not turned on. But if you're in an art museum and you're in front of like a Degas and then you also have a picture of like architecture and then maybe you in a field somewhere. I'm like, all right. That's your jam. You're cool.

Because you like to show your style. Yeah. Yes. Oh, wow. But if you're just one picture at a museum and it's you watch, you're looking at. Mona Lisa. Yeah. Oh my God.

I love art. Yeah. I'm at the love raw. Oh, and I hear boys always have pictures of them fishing. It's like every man is a fisherman or like a hunter of sorts and you're like, okay, that's kind of. That's not Jay's fucking. That's not how I roll.

That's not so. So I do a joke. I'm like, I don't understand fishing, like catch and release them. Like, so you just want to just punch people in the face and then bounce. Yeah. Just rip a fish. Just rip a fish's mouth. I'm like, all right, go survive.

Yes. True. And then my friend was like, dude, they only have a one minute memory. I go, oh, so every minute they're like, what the fuck happened to my mouth? And then I got one. One time I pulled it up and I was, I mean, I don't have. I'd fish. Did you fish growing up as a kid?

Well, here's that when in, in Florida, it was easy because we lived on the intercoastal and there was a couple places where people would go and like basically river fish. And one time I, you know, it was, there was a lot of catch release. A couple of times there were people that would keep, but I wasn't keeping that. I did deep sea fishing too. And that's like, definitely to eat that. Yeah. Yeah.

If you're cutting it up on the back and you're eating sashimi, I mean, yeah, but we're in the river and I, I pull up, I forget what I pull up, but it's hook. And then they're like, you know. Grouper. Trout baby. I tried, I couldn't get the hook out and the things like flailing. And it's just so far in there. It's that a lot of times the hook goes in here, but if it goes in in like the middle

of the cheek, then you got to like reach into the fish. So I'm like trying to, to, to get this thing out and I can't. And then I'm just like panicking. So I'm just trying to stomp on it and kill it so that it doesn't, so it doesn't suffer anymore. I ended up taking the, the line and just like, you know, just trying to like beat it out and event. And it's still like, come on.

It's like, give me a break. I eventually, I can't get the hook out. So I just cut the line and the hooks in and I just throw it back in, you know. Yeah. Yeah. He went there with it. He went out with a souvenir. Yeah.

Sure. Yeah. Did you ever fish as a kid? Once. My dad was begging some woman in Eureka or something. No. Well, now we do. We do in Austin.

My kids do. Super fun. My dad used to take me fishing actually when I was really little back when I would see him. And I think that might have a tie to it too because I stopped seeing him and I was like, oh, we used to like sit on the banks of this man made lake, the town over from me. You know what I mean? And I'm like, fuck fishing.

Well it seems very boring. It just seems like an excuse for men to get together and get drunk. Yeah. Yeah, that is it. That's why men golf too. A lot of times. Yeah. Like some are into golf but a lot of them just want to hang out.

Yeah. They want to hang out. They just hang. Yeah. Killing stuff while you hang. It's kind of cool. Fuck. Who doesn't want to do that?

Yeah. You know, the thing I think is most important about probably about dating videos or like profiles is being honest about what you're into. Like you got to share what you're really into, you know, like this guy. The video, Anthony Shitting, August 23rd, 2008, that was interesting. The audio was really great on that. My name is Bob. I wouldn't mind you doing some more videos like that and sending them to my channel.

I like that kind of humor. It was fun. What? A lot of these videos on here is too much clutter and noise and stuff like that. And I'd be interested to know what you were showing in the picture since I'm a blind person. But please get back with me. I sent you a message and wouldn't mind knowing more about what kind of video equipment you used.

What? What do you care? Some fun videos. And as I say, this is kind of interesting. Thank you. And do some more. What's he commenting on? So somebody had sent him a video of them like taking a shit.

And that's what he likes. He likes hearing it. Yeah. He likes. My name is Bob. I have viewed your explosive diarrhea video in McDonald's just curious to know where that was at. I'm from Southgate, Michigan.

But he likes. He's blind. He doesn't hear it without any other. Don't laugh. Don't talk. But then he wants you to follow up and tell him where it was, what led to that. And what type of video equipment you're recording on now. That's a whole new layer to this thing.

You know at first I was like, why is he in the dark? And then you're like, oh, it doesn't matter. He also likes ham radio and aviation. He's in aviation too. And friendship. And he's a teacher. And he's active at his church. So he's well rounded.

He's not active at his church. That's what he says. Yeah. He looks like on a side site. No, YouTube. YouTube. Interesting. Yeah.

He's dead now. Here comes Chris, man. Can you just go pop in the bathroom before the Eucharist and just drop one for him? He's a sweetie, man. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, I do think that if this guy's we're going after dates, it's great to just lead with who you really are.

You know? Listen, you don't think that woman's out there? That's like, mm-hmm, same. Yeah. You know? He don't want women. Well, yeah, he's always asking for dudes to shit. And he never makes it sexual, at least not yet.

We haven't once heard him say, he's just been like, I like the way this sounds. And you know. Yeah, he's an enthusiast. He seems pretty on the level. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. When do you, when you're on a date, when do you reveal what you're really into?

Because everyone's on their best behavior on a date, usually, right? Yeah. Do you, how long do you hold back? Into what, though? I want to like, you know, put your head through the wall and pull your head away with it. Whatever you're into, you know? I think it's going to take a while, I mean, I don't know, when did you guys start getting into that?

Well, that's what I'm saying though, but this is a long time ago. I'm saying now you're, you're, it's different when you're dating when you're like 25. I'll tell you this. So do people, I think, like, especially when you're, you know, I'm older, so then you might date older women that are also divorced and they're just kind of like, yo. What's up? Everyone's just kind of like, hey, we know the deal, you know what I mean? I have kids, you have kids.

It's almost like this unwritten thing, you're like, you know how much time I have? You know, you know what I mean? But I've never, I think it takes a little while still, you know, you still, you still want to have some like, you know, figure things out about people and especially if you're looking for something serious, you would probably wait a little while, I would think, because you want to like, keep life interesting, you know, and like build towards something. Wait a while. The next thing, after two dates, you're watching this guy's videos and you're like, what's

next? Well, let me ask you this. Blind Craig. Jay Lawson. Yeah. You meet the woman, the girl, the woman of your dreams. Yeah. She's absolutely perfect in every way.

But on date four or five, she's like, listen, I really need to hear you taking a shit. I want that audio. I want to know where you shit, what you eat, like, is that a deal breaker for you? No. Wow. Well, she also, he also led with, it's the girl of your dreams. Well, put it this way. I watch you guys and how comfortable, and you guys are able to talk about stuff that

I have like never imagined ever like talking like that. You guys talk about your exes, how you bang, Tom talks about, yeah, you know what I mean? You guys are nasty. Yeah. You know what I mean? Sometimes I'm like, they don't even sound like they're together. It sounds like you have two separate lives. Gosh.

Well, I think part of that is because you're very white, right? You're from like, white Boston, black or waspy. And I don't think. I don't, I think I take offense. What do you mean? You're very white. You're very white. Mm-hmm.

And you're whiter than me. You're Polish. I'm a foreigner, and foreigners are very crass and disgusting, and that's a dynamic I watch growing up. Yeah. You just say whatever the fuck you want. Interesting. Because did you say whatever you wanted growing up?

Oh, no. I imagine no. I had a single mom who, you know, my mom was very proper and like, you know, I know where every fork and knife goes. Oh, see, I don't know. Yeah. All that kind of stuff. Because we also were poor.

Last week. You know what I mean? We weren't poor, but we did not have money. You know, we weren't poor, but we didn't have money. So like. Washcloth poor? It was this weird dynamic of like. Did you use a washcloth?

No. Oh, so you know what my philosophy on washcloth is? What? Is it exfoliates. Sure. I don't use one, but like that's what it does. Did you use them in the house growing up? No, I never did.

You know what I did use? I never got zits and sane eyes. You know that like apricots? Yeah, I used them to this day. Yeah. I used it and that's what I would use and I never had acne. Really? Yeah.

And I was like, I always attributed to that, but there were louvres around. I never got into that either. Louvres. Louvres. Louvres. What do you call it? Louvres? Louvres, man.

They have the Mona Lisa and the Louvres. The Louvres. Louvres. But do you think now if you were in a couple, you could be more open like Tom and I are? Yeah. I'm going to be. Because did you learn that lesson after the first marriage you think? I think after the first marriage, I started doing a ton of work on myself.

I mean, I'd always been, but now I do a ton and I'm like, yes, I think so. I think like, you know what I was going to? I was thinking about you guys listening to the pod that you guys ever talk because you were saying you like to give gifts. I think it was on like the Tom Popp episode. Yeah, that's true. That's true. You know the love language you ever break down?

Yeah. Because that's something I never got into. And then when I got divorced, Daniel Van Kirk was like, dude, are you into love language? And I go, I know nothing about it. And I started looking him up and one is gift giving. Yes, one. And it's like, you also not only do you have ways that you want to be loved, but you have ways that you want to love others and you for gift giving, that might be your thing

and not hers. Right. That's true. He's an excellent gift giver and it is definitely his way of showing love is to give the gift. My ex was a really good gift giver. I'm okay, but I was never into it. I think you learn over time that like, oh yeah, not everyone's going to align with yours. And they also might not receive it the way you want it to be received.

You might be like, this is my expression of love to you. And then they go, that's a nice thing. And you go, no, no, I'm showing you like they, not everyone, you know, receives it the way you want it. A hundred. Yeah. Same way that like some people go, my, my expression of love is affection. Some people are just like, that's nice.

Yeah. You know, they don't, they don't. Words of affirmation. Yes. Yeah. What do you like to receive? Um, I mean, I think to receive, I think probably, Like a morning tug or something?

I think words. Yeah. Dick tugs. Tug. Nutting real hard. Words, words, words, big affirmations. And yeah. And affection.

Yeah. I like receiving affection. Yeah. There's a test. You can take a test, you know, there's like an actual test. Let's do it. You should do it. I bet it's, because I think it's good to know.

Um, you know what I did for a gift this year with my kids for Christmas, like I always go with them to pick out a gift for their mom and then she'll get a gift with them. But I was just like, I just really wanted something I wanted because this year was her house at Christmas and I wanted to have something to do the whole time that I was there. So we were at the store and I picked out a book that I wanted on, on, on architecture. So I go to the kids. I go, you guys see this? They go, yeah, I go.

All right. This is what you're giving me for Christmas. I go, I'm going to buy it. I'll wrap it. You make a card on that Christmas morning. You bring it over to me and I'll be surprised and everything. They're like, oh yeah. Christmas morning.

They're like, dad, I think you're going to love this. They gave it to me. They gave it to me. Oh, that's perfect. Yeah, that's fun. It's a good idea. You know what? You want some good advice.

Yeah. For the next girl you date. Yeah. You can type, listen to this. Here we go. How to keep a woman with the narcissistic. This might be the most evil form of gang known to mankind, but God damn it, it works. So go a little something like this.

And by the way, if you use this, you're an asshole. But anyway, it worked like this. When you meet a woman, you'd be extremely charismatic and extremely charming at the beginning of the relationship. You got that there. Your words are only used to disguise what you actually hear for. If she's in a city that she has a support system, you have to get her away from that city.

That's why you got to build that strong bond. If your bond is strong enough and you get her isolated, that's when you start step number three. This is the emotional tear down. You start tearing down the way. Good Lord. Starting with her weight, facial features. You start telling her how good your ex was at this and that.

That's how I was raised. At this point, she's already too deep embedded to you. You can make her feel so worthless to the point where she actually feels like you might be the only one that she deserved. It's evil as hell. Good luck. Get a good laugh out of that, Tom. Is it better the second time around for you?

I'm fucking loving it. Who is that cat? He just gives good advice. He does dating advice. Oh, man. I got to follow him. Yeah. This guy's awesome.

He gets it. You got to try this, man. I mean, that's unbelievable. Yeah. And then I love that he's shaking. He's like, oh, yeah. It's real fucked up. Then he's like shakes his head.

I just taught you how to do it. Yeah. No kid. Yeah. I think you should. I mean, that could really work. Yeah. No, it definitely does work.

That's why he's telling you. Yeah. This is a very evil, dark game. Isn't that the game that like all those pickup artists started, that's the whole thing? Oh, yeah. The negging. Yeah. You take them down.

Yeah. I was like, gross. That was the thing I saw. That one's a little quicker though. That's where you meet a girl at the bar or something and you're like, oh, yeah, you probably look better with longer hair. Yeah. And then the girl's like, oh, you just try to make her feel insecure.

Yeah. And then they're like, it works. Do it. Oh my God. Christ. Yeah. That's not like ruin her life. Like this guy is like, this is destroy someone's life.

Relocate her to your fucking town and then isolate her and then destroy her internally. And he goes, here's the blueprint. That's so crazy, dude. I don't suggest it, but if you wanted to, that's pretty insane. That's terrible. Yeah. Fucking so cool. Wait.

Words of affirmation and physical touch. You know what? What are the love languages? I'll tell you mine. I already know. But look it up anyway. Words of affirmation. Oh, go ahead.

I like time spent, time allocated, QT. Quality time. Yeah, me too. If you don't do that with me, I'm cold as ice. I'm all about quality time. That's all I care about, honestly. Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch. I like words of affirmation.

You can pick two. And QT. Yeah. You can pick two. So our words of affirmation things overlap. That's true. Words of affirmation work for me, for sure. You like dick touches, and I like time touches.

That's not, actually, that's not on there. It says physical touch. It's not on there. Dick touches. I just would love to see you guys, if you had to go to couples therapy, like, well, I try to give them a dick touch every day, the person, oh, okay, let me write that down. It's okay to use the words that you feel comfortable with. Dick touches.

Yeah. That's what I call it. Marital loves. Okay. Making them dick touches. Oh, Jesus. Well, here's a good palette cleanser. Yeah.

Okay. Fuck, dude. This one's amazing. Is that your producer who's playing the one-on-one game? So this is a guy with rotten teeth, and he's shaving down all the teeth, and they're putting veneers on. Yeah, but he got great veneers. No, these are outstanding.

These are actually excellent, Jay. They really are. I don't know. He did the right shade and everything. Look at those. Those are good. Those are nice teeth. You know why?

I'll tell you what makes those veneers better than the bad ones, you see? You see how there's some translucency at the bottom? Mm-hmm. They look like real teeth. They look like, that's the secret is translucency. You can't go billboard white. No. Don't make it like one color.

See, we have friends, guys. We have friends. And they're crazy. I've got crazy teeth issues, like teeth. Do you? Really? Oh, I know. Thank you.

I do have great teeth. And he would fill our cavities. No novocaine. What? Nothing. Why? I don't know. Toughen you up?

Toughen you up. And I talk to a dentist about that and they're like, yeah, a lot of dentists used to do that because they didn't, you know, you don't, you don't ultimately need it. And I was like, yeah, you do. So every time I go to the dentist now, I'm just, good. I hate the dentist. Well, yeah, they should numb you. You need it.

I hate it. You need it. Do you like the dentist? No. I like going because I know that I'm not going to end up with more shit happening. I hate it. I mean, I go. I don't.

I don't. I handle my shit. But I'll tell you, by the way, I saw your, that Ryan dude in the bathroom, like, take an insulin show. I don't think that guy's up for a one-on-one game. I just don't think so. You and me both, chief. Oh, shit.

I just don't think so. I can't do that with the teeth. I hope I've had so much dental work over the last five years. You think you can play one-on-one? No. You know, but I will say, I was, when growing up, I played soccer and baseball. I played baseball through college, soccer through high school. I never played basketball, like, organized, but I played with my friends.

And I'd always win in two and two. And I would just like, when I hit a basket, I'd be like, never been coached! Yeah. Never been coached! Yeah. Always yelling it. What kind of teeth issues do you have? I grind my teeth, so I have to wear a mouth guard.

Yeah. And like, I just have to like use sensitive toothpaste. I've got like, I've had root canals. Yo, I had a root canal go bad. No. Go bad and sat through an entire play with my ex and I'm like, I think this is, and then I had to go to the ER that night because they had to give me a painkiller because there was nothing else I could do.

What do you mean? It was like, out of 9, out of 10. What do you mean it went wrong? They didn't scoop out all the decay and it was still there? Something, it broke. They put one in and it broke or something happened and it broke. And I'm telling you, I was like, oh, it was broken, they gave me painkillers. I took the painkillers, they didn't work.

No. So I was at the play, like going through level 9, 10 pain. And then afterwards I had to go to the ER and then they, and I sat in the ER for three hours. Sickler came and sat with me for like an hour and a half and then he's like, I gotta get out of here, man. I can't do it. And I'm like, all right.

And I sat there until three in the morning and then they gave me a painkiller and then I had to go on the next day and they were like, yeah, we're going to just pull the whole thing out and redo it. And it was just like horrible. But they put me under. For that one? Yeah. Like under, under?

Oh yeah, out. And by the way, I think I'm a fun dude. There is nothing more fun about me than when I'm coming out of being put on. Oh my God. I crush. Yeah. I was with my ex. We're in an elevator.

There's an old lady. I'm like, how are you doing? I was like, am I, my ex is dying, laughing this, ah, I could do that all day. That's fine. Yeah. I love surgery. I love going under. Like I love anesthesia.

I do too. But you don't love surgery. I mean, you've had some hardcore surgery. Yeah. But I love being put out. I'm saying I love being put out. Yeah. Yeah.

I love the dilaudid. I love coming out of that. It's coming back and being like, what happened? I want them to go like, we got to put you back out again. I'm like, do it. Do it right now. I've only had it twice and I loved it. Yeah.

It's the best, man. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Have you been put out? Yeah. I broke my ankle two years ago. That was cool. Wisdom teeth removal.

That's really it. I ruptured my Achilles last year. Oh, IVF. Last year you did? IVF? IVF. When they took out my, when they harvested my eggs, that's three times I've been put out.

Yeah. Harvested my eggs. Are you from the future? Yeah, they take, they take your eggs out and then you tell them to put, put the ugly ones back, right? Yeah. Yeah. Garbage the ugly ones.

Yeah. Got it. Yeah. Attractive kids. This one's not going to spell so well. You want to keep it? Throw it in the trash. So how did you tell your Achilles?

Plane. That's a gnarly one. That's a paddle tennis. Paddle tennis? Yeah. It didn't hurt. Casually? Doesn't hurt at all.

Casually? Like was it, was it a, did you like go for it or did it just move it? Nope. So you just like. Back pedaling. Dominating. And then just. Tennis.

You literally sounded like that. I thought I got hit in the, I thought something, I thought like a ball came over and hit me because like I fell down and I go, what's that? And I go to get back up and my foot was like, no. And my two buddies were like lifting me up and I go, what? And I go, oh my God, I go, we got to go right now. We got to go right now. I knew immediately.

You go to the emergency room? No. So I got home. My buddies were like, yeah, she'd ice it. You'll be fine. And I go, I think something's wrong. And then I called my doctor and I was like, I think something's wrong. And I went in because I didn't tear it completely.

I ruptured it. So it's like a half tear. And then I went in and they're like, yeah, you know, it's ruptured. That's, dude, that's a long recovery. So did you, how soon did you do the surgery right away? I didn't do the surgery. Oh, really? So when you rupture, you can either get the surgery where they cut it completely and

then sew it, or you can just go right into a cast and it heals itself. It does heal itself? Heels itself. You'll be surprised what your body can do on its own. So that is like, it's the same recovery and they've done like tons of like. How long are you in the boot? I was in a full cast for a month straight of like a hard cast and then a boot for like that three to four months.

And hold on. Hold on. I was, I couldn't drive. It was my right foot. So I couldn't drive for two months. So I got a, I got a Vesper scooter, electric. And I would, that's how I take the kids to school. We go crutches on the seat, me, river, read backpack on me and just cruising around.

People like people, people's reaction was either like, wait, what's on the seat? What kind of father are you? Or they were like, fucking go, bro. What'd you put on the seat for them? No, it's a Vespa, right? So it's a long seat. So I would sit all the way in the back, river would go there and my son would sit right up front.

We're just like. That's terrifying. Like a little Thai family. How far are you driving? We would, the farthest we went, we had to take read till like he skateboards at the time at this like skate park and on Jefferson and Culver city. And that was like, I was a saw like six miles maybe. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the biggest street I was taking is Sentinella, but like it's not a huge guys. It's yeah. Helmets. Yeah. Helmets. There have been a couple of times no helmets.

Yeah. I was like, I picked the kids up at school on the Vespa, you know, I still, now we do it all the time. Yeah. They just love it. I kind of want to get a Vespa now. Oh, bro. I'll tell you, the one I got, it's a hundred percent electric.

You plug it in 35 miles for the charge. I take them, we just be in the house and I go, I go, anybody want to go for a cruise? And they're like, yup. Yup. Okay. So now I do with my son where like he holds on and I just keep my hands back here and he works. Send me this link as soon as the gas.

No. Break is right here. Break right there. They love it. Send me the link right away. Okay. This is, please. Okay.

So what would have been the recovery time had you gone in for surgery? Same. Same amount. They put you on a cast as well. Yeah. Yeah. And a boot for three fucking months. Yeah.

But you know what happened? I bounced out of the boot early because I got COVID and my son got COVID. So I was in the house for a week straight just the two of us, so I didn't put the boot on. And then I was like, oh, I don't really need the boot. But what I didn't know or I didn't pay attention to is like there was a wedge to keep your foot like this so the Achilles, so it can heal tighter. So mine isn't as tight. So the guys like, I go, so what's going to happen?

He's like, well, you're not going to be dunking. I'm like, dude, I couldn't dunk before. I go, can I golf? Can I play tennis? Can I run? He's like, yeah. I'm doing a five K with my son in Maine. There you go.

So we're going to do that. How old is your son? Nine. Five K. That's pretty cool. Yeah, when I was in the hospital with this, Doc was like, so I could put you in a cast or operate. And I was like, really?

Because my shit was just shattered. Yeah, man. And I was like, I have the option? He goes, yeah, the cast is much longer. But if the cast doesn't make you heal right, then we're going to operate after the cast comes off. And I was like, oh, shit. So what should I do?

He goes, what are you fucking crazy? Operate. He's like, I don't know. I got to give you the option. I was like, all right. Yeah. Well, you know why the guy wants to also give you the option? Because no surgeon wants you to not get the surgery.

They're getting paid by the surgery. So when the guy was telling me, he's like, I recommend the surgery, but you can not. I go, well, what's the recovery? And he goes, it's the same. And I go, well, what do people say? And he goes, studies has shown that it's just as beneficial. And I'm like, well, then just I go, I can leave here today in the cast. He's like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, do that.

Yeah. You don't want surgery if you don't have to. Yeah, if you don't have to. Yeah, I think I had to. I think so, bro. No, you shouldn't. But didn't they put like steel shit in your arms? Yeah.

You want the rods. I have a plate in here still. Yeah. Wait a minute. So do you really, would you really be afraid to have a little electric Vespa with the... Oh my God, yes. Because why? Because she's just scared.

Because I don't want him in the streets on some shades and put my fucking kids on there. Like, no. He already is into like helicopter piloting and race car driving. He's already into high risk behaviors. But this thing only goes 30 miles an hour. Yeah. Listen. On a bike you can get up to.

Go ahead and Google Vespa injuries. Listen, around Austin we have these stupid bird things. You know how many fucking injuries though? That's basically a Vespa. Same shit different toilet. No way. This thing is heavy. Okay, scooter.

No. How many scooter injuries? Our Vespa is safer than a bicycle. Click that. Oh, click that one. Click that. That's the stat you need. We're not talking about bicycles.

We're talking about bicycles. The kids are going to ride bicycles for every million miles traveled by... In a safe environment. Five times lower than bikes. These bicycles are highly dangerous, but I wouldn't let my kids ride in traffic. You're in traffic. Please. How many scooter accidents a year?

Let me tell you what your kids would always remember. Those Vespa rides. My kids are always... They love them. No, thanks. All the time. They honk the horn of people. No, thanks.

Okay. Go ahead. Okay. Do you get nervous? 4,500. Oh, to 14,651 injuries. Does she get nervous about the kids? Yeah.

Of course. Well, on a Vespa, yeah. Yeah, on a Vespa, you're scared. I got a zipline in the backyard. No, no, but I don't overprotect my boys. That's true. We were just talking about this last episode. They have a trampoline.

I encourage them to fuck with each other. I encourage them to be wildlings. No, they're not pussies, if that's what you're asking. No, that's not what I'm asking you. I'm not scared. I think you just actually went there. Chicken pussies. You just actually took it there.

No. No, they're... They're strong and resilient. Yeah. They're kind of grown men, but... Oh, they try to. Interesting, yeah. Yeah.

They like to go after it. Cool. They're like, I'm fucking stronger than you, man. Like, okay. Yeah, I let them be wild. Yeah. But, yeah. Whatever.

Switch blades or anything like that? We'll get a Vespa. No, but I let them play with fake guns and like pop caps, and we have those shit that you throw on the floor and it snaps, and they're way too young for that. Not just those I get, not just the sperm ones, but like the real fucking chunkers, I pick up those and I let them do that. I find them with knives sometimes. Four and seven.

Yeah. I love the lines you draw. You're like, Vespa? No, but... Yeah. Bottle rockets at the neighbors? Sure. Fine.

Sure. It's good. It's all good. Make them into a real boy. Make them into a real boy. I like boys. Boy stuff. Yeah.

I mean, good night, and don't forget to eat shit. I mean, that's what my youngest says. I know. That's crazy. Psycho. I get a boy integral. My boy is like the most Zen master non-boy things you'd ever imagine. Really?

Yeah. I'm reading a book. Really? Yeah. Brushes his teeth reading a book. Jesus. Loves reading. Wow.

Sports, not really his thing, you know, and that's why I like, we're encouraging him to run because he likes to run. Like he can just run. Like we did two miles together and he talked the whole time like, bro, I can't talk back, dude. I'm gassed. Yeah, of course. And he just got that young, I'm nine years old, my body, you could...

They're like a deer at that age. Run for days. Yeah. And your girl? She's not into sports either. She's into fashion design. That's cool. It's perfect for you.

You probably talk about that shit all the time. Oh yeah, I love it. Style choices and... That shit goes to, she'll like, we go to a play and then she's like, you want to go for sushi? We walk for sushi. She's insane. That's insane.

Yeah, she's pretty rad. But yeah, they just did this fitness challenge at school and like, so I volunteered and I'm running like the blocks part, like this track and you run around. My daughter coming at me, first time around, seeing me, she just goes, can we get ice cream tonight? And I'm like, we'll figure it out, get moving. Then I come back to the school three hours later for his class. He's coming around.

First thing, can we do a double feature tonight? Like watch two movies and I'm like, just go, bro, I don't know what time we're going to have. They're crazy. You know, I will say the nice thing about divorced dads is that you guys kind of get more involved because you kind of have to in a way. If you choose to, not my dad, my dad. No, my dad left completely, but I was involved before we were divorced.

You were already in. I mean, I was doing all the field trips that, you know, that's why I think my career is shit because I was just always doing that, but that we talked about touring. I never was touring ever because I'm like, oh, and then I don't get to be with them mainly because my dad wasn't there for me. You know what I mean? And I was like, well, I got to be there like literally six months ago when I knew I would do some road work after this special, I said to the kids, I'm like, listen, I'm going to

start going on the road more and I'm going to start working more. So I won't be around as much like when I, when I have the kids, I just pick them up as early as I can from school and then they just come home. Whereas they normally go to aftercare, you know, and they just know, I'm like, I'm just around. I'll get up early at five to do my work so that they can, when, when I pick them up from school, I can just have them in the afternoon and we can zip line. We can, you know, go for scooter rides.

We do their homework. I do homework with them. I'm always going over their homework, you know. So you're good dad. Yeah. Cause that's all I really wanted. You know what I mean? Like I wanted that from a young age, but now like we've like built a strong base and

now I've told them like, all right, I just can't be around a ton, but we, I, you know, I'm still around a ton. Yeah. That's nice. But you do get that time when you are divorced that, you know, half the time I can't be with them. You know what I mean? So that's when you, you build your shit.

Oh yeah. The day after they leave is tough. You know, you got to build that, that time in to get your work done when you're not with them. You know. Sounds like a Vespa helps a lot though. That's a pretty cool thing to have with your kids. Dude, it does.

You know, um, but I will say my ex is pretty rad and we get along well. So like when she's with them, I have dinner over there and I just Vespa over there. I remember one morning my daughter said to me, my daughter said to me, she said, you know, if I was a boy dad, I said, yeah, she goes, I'd only want to ride Vespas with you. And I was like, wow, that's like the whole episode is like a case for a Vespa. Yeah. You know, that's the, that's what you got out of that. Yeah.

Yeah. Sounds like I need to go like on the way home, you dropped me off at the Vespa place. Mike Bertolina, when I got that thing, he goes, I'll never forget my dad had a Vespa when I was growing up in San Francisco and he would take all the kids in the neighborhoods for rides. Like I've taken every one of my friends kids for rides and they all are like, can we go for a ride in the Vespa? And I'm always like, yeah.

And one day I was taking my daughter and her friend for a ride on the Vespa and we went to their, their school, the elementary school and the gate was unlocked and we went onto the campus and we're just like cruising around the campus. How much do you think those kids talking about? When I show up at school, they're all like, Jay, because they're like, there's a Vespa guy. What color is your Vespa? Silver.

Oh, that's kind of cool. I changed my mind. I like silver. I wanted midnight blue. Yeah. Oh, I thought, I thought you were going to say blue or like actually turquoise. Google the Vespa. Those are beautiful.

The turquoise. The turquoise. The turquoise. The turquoise. The turquoise. The turquoise. The turquoise. The turquoise.

The turquoise. The turquoise. The turquoise. The turquoise. The turquoise. The turquoise. Someone wrote up there after this, Tom because you can Vespa home. Go ahead and buy one.

If you make it home, you get to keep it. You can hit the site? Can you actually, that that area? Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. Vespa. Oh, man.

There you go. Well, you just double your life insurance. Go for it. I'm going to tell you something, but you don't take it on. I don't take it on the highway. The busiest street I would take it on is Sentinels. You do all back roads. That's all you do. No, that's fine. I'm gonna tell you this right now He's gonna get it and he's gonna take you out and you're gonna be like no fuck tonight

He's not taking me out tonight. Oh, he's never taking me out. I'm never gonna go with you And then we can't both of us die and once one of us has to raise the kids. It's not a chopper You know how you the reason you're a good father is because you had no father My father when he was 18 years old in Budapest, Hungary Was on a fucking motorcycle bullshit scooter Slid and underneath a truck in front of him, right the truck stop stop suddenly He skids under it knocked out all his front teeth and cracked his head open look at the look of the teeth He could get yeah, thank you. That's why we played this

Guys got a winning smile now Austin, Texas and Budapest are a little different vibe and say raise Budapest Whatever it is. I thought you fucked up when you said Budapest No, no, don't do it. All right, that's so ingrained in me. No, yeah, but that was a motorcycle Do you like to support the marginalized people out there? There are people that are popular on tiktok and then people who need their popularity built Mm-hmm, and we support those marginalized communities got it. Yeah, we do not Christina does yeah, yeah, I love them show me Oh boy beautiful Saturday Hey, kind of a cool breeze, but it's getting hot. Oh, but I'm barbecuing goat anyway

Just sitting back here by the fire Watching it cook and get beautiful Where is this guy, I don't know I Might even cook a steak later on. Oh, wow Oh Thanks, buddy Please Sweet guy. Yeah making goat. Do you like goat? No. No, I mean I haven't had it

I used to have a trainer that was African and Like I remember we like had a session on a Monday, and I go how's your weekend? He's a good man. I bought a goat You did 200 bucks me and my buddy. We split it. I go you split a goat. He's like, yeah, I like a goat Yeah, Jamaicans love goat to goat stews and all that. Are you guys in the goat? No? Yeah, I've had it, but you know I don't think I have the passion that this guy has no did you enjoy that video? Yeah, I mean I'd follow him for sure David gold. Oh This is plumbers, and they pull cool stuff out of pipes. I just thought this was kind of crazy Look what that motherfucker pulled out of somebody's plumbing, bro. Oh, yeah

Oh It's still going Dude Looks like it's hay and roots hair hair. Yeah Wow, wow, you know what's not impressive is that no water came gushing out after that too. That would have been so satisfying The placenta the after-birth yeah, but you can charge when the water look look at what I just did for you Yeah, they're like well seems like it's going the same rate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where's the baby? Yeah Dude, that was red. Yeah, it was so satisfying

Your wellness routine look like now. I eat dinner early in the evening. I do a nice intermittent fast I usually eat something about 12 And in the morning, I'll have some things that won't spike my blood sugar, right? So I have coffee, but I really like soup for lunch I have bone broth for lunch a lot of the days try to do one hour of movement So I'll either take a walk or I'll do Pilates or I'll do my Tracy Anderson And then again in the sauna I dry brush and again the sauna so I do my infrared sauna for 30 minutes And then for dinner, I try to eat, you know, according to paleo. So lots of vegetables

It's really important for me to support my detox That was a lot. I don't know why do you got some? No, I do it. I don't have one. I do it on the road a lot Yeah, I go to places that have them. I enjoy it. I I do it at the gym, you know I like to have it and so I started at 10 minutes and then started to try to work my way up. Yeah We love it. I'll leave it to him that she just looked like a Holocaust victim She does look I mean, I don't know what is her deal. I don't fault. She basically left Acting essentially, I mean, maybe she still does some but took you know started this company has become a huge success

Yeah, and and she's like this wellness. She's like a wellness person So this clip went viral a while back because people were like she's She's starving herself and you're like, oh my god news flash the Hollywood actress has an eating disorder. No fucking shit So I think it's funny that like people are like, oh my god And on the other hand I go. Yeah, she's middle-aged when you're middle-aged. You can't eat That's how you fucking stay thin. She did the pussy candles too. Remember those were all those are ahead That is insane. Yeah, but you know what I will say, you know, like David Goggins says like when you get exhausted You're working out. You're really at 60%

Yeah, I think it's the same with I think we think especially in America that you need to eat so much more because we just feed it But you really don't so I don't think she's I don't think she's starving I think that she's probably been Like this for actually a probably a pretty long time. Yeah, and she's just used to not consuming much She doesn't have to eat that much But if she's doing Tracy Anderson, which is the most of us do eat way fucking way too much that Tracy Anderson is very famous Exercise lady in LA. That's a pretty rigorous workout. So she couldn't do that if she was really struggling Yeah, she but she does need to eat more if she's doing Tracy Anderson

I mean an hour of Pilates. You gotta eat something. She I'm sure her real routine is exhausting if you went into detail You'd be like oh and during this interview She was doing an IV at the same time So she was getting like a wellness IV and the man she's talking to is actually her doctor. Oh really? Yeah He's an actual medical doctor. He seems like a fucking her doctor backyard doctor. If you know what I mean Yeah, of course by the fire. Let me tell you a couple stories. Sure I'll tell you I did I did date this one woman who like was very healthy and in amazing shape And like she would cook for me once in a while and when she would cook for me

I'd be like holy I can't even if I ate like this all the time I would just be Shredded and diesel and it felt so good. You you finish eating and you just feel like fresh. What did she make you? I can't remember. Yeah, she had a full go just like protein and like veg. Yes And it was like and they weren't giant portions. You know what I mean normal people eat crazy small portions That's what you realize when you've eaten like a real dude for years You know you eat with somebody who's like like who's weighs like 160 naturally and they're just like couple bites Like I'm good and you're like, um, are you really they don't eat a lot? Yeah

My son's like that. He does not eat a ton. He's like and there's and he he'll literally just go I think I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. Oh Yeah, all right That's healthy. Well, we have friends who make their little girls count bites Like just kids four more bites and you're like boy, that's how you get an eating disorder. Right? That's how you sign up for it Yeah, counting bites counting bites I just got this neck that too It's not finished. It's supposed to go gradient and down lower. Um, and I'm having a whole entire

Whole entire identity crisis Because it slightly nobody else would ever probably notice but me but it slightly alters the shape of my face Nope, yeah, it sure does They all are probably like, what do you think you're gonna get? That's a bold tattoo that I drew it on painted it on so many times But the difference is Listen, but listen, this makes sense when I drew it on and colored it on I would always like When you lift your head super far back, you can kind of see where your jawline is

Your throat and I would always follow that so it would always be below my jaw not over and I told her that But it's okay. It's not okay That ever so slight difference of it being below my jaw instead of over my jaw made a world of difference because if it's on my actual face like this is That's part of my cheek. My jaw does like this little motion here. Yeah, you can see it. It's rounded off So I feel like my face is smothering into my neck Anyways, I'm just having a hard time coming to terms with this but This is my face now Unless there's a solution I don't know about please if so, let me know in the comments

Then this is my new face and I just need to rock it with confidence. So no No, where she's so young. No, she's so young. No, you need to like immediately address it You need to start the removal of like how she needs to start removing where they where it starts She has to why would you start that first of all it does the same person do her hair like what is going on? It's like Any of these lines, right? So you have a sleeve tattoo. Don't you think you'd be like, oh, let me try a sleeve on before I do my neck Well, and this is much like men's facial hair

Like where you cut that beard is everything right because we've had friends that cut it like too high I know that's what that is It's a bad beard line. That's a bad. It's exactly what it is. You know what this is. This is bad parent This is this is not having a strong. I mean, I don't know what this is, but she's very pretty No, this is this is dad wasn't around. This is dad wasn't around mom was a narcissist This is like, oh fuck. She got a lot. Yeah, I mean It sucks because you're she's absolutely right like had they followed the line she'd wanted It would just look like she's wearing a turtle. She really needs to do is a

Tell that lady you fucked up you really like we went over this and you definitely fucked up And then there's no way you should go like I'll just accept this and rock it you have to address it You have to address it. I'm so I'm so bummed for her like I feel so sad for her It's like because when you get a bad haircut, you just let it grow out. Yeah, that's right here. This is what she did She's just like, yeah You need that you need the line you gotta work up to that first of all Oh, man, because it would actually look dope if you like did a black I think you look like you've got a turtleneck on like you always look kind of thin and dope

Yeah, it would look kind of cool But the line cannot start. I just wonder like couldn't you feel that it was starting in the wrong spot? Yeah, but how do you are you under the jaw though? Like and the lady's like, yeah, I got you like but you're under it Like yeah, what is the time that that took how many how many sittings they do like a thicker brush I think like it's got multi needles when they do Like that. I went by the way, we got to get we got to get follow-up on this There's got to be more to this story. It's too good God damn

Now if she has posted since or is this like let's check now back and she's got sideburns tattooed on guys I don't know is this God damn it. Yeah, because this this I found a long time ago and I haven't seen the follow Holy shit. These are two little dogs playing with us playing with it I don't know. I call that playing That's another dimension right now Is it a fake snake? No, that's real. No, that's really shit They love it. Dogs love real yeah

How much fun is that if you're a dog one of those dogs is the boss and he's on the left Holy shit, my favorite memory of fifo rest in peace our little guy We used to have a lot of rats in the valley when we lived there and we put rat rat traps everywhere They're like little blue squares of poison and you hide them in something Well, fif comes running up to me when they just happy as shit just trotting on the grass And he's got that brick the poison brick in his mouth. He's like, hey mom Give me the fifo. He was fine. He didn't die that day They had to find all kinds of living stuff around the house. That was fun. Are you guys into snakes?

No, not into them. I I love them because they're beautiful, but I wouldn't want to own one. Yeah I'm not a tiles. Okay. I'm not into snakes at all But like we went camping with another family and we're in the water and there were water snakes and water snakes, dude They they this is how they swim So like this is out of the water and they're just coming and I was like, oh I'm about to be a dad and I go watch this guys and I go and I grab it and as soon as I touch on I go And my buddy's daughter to this day. She goes remember when you got so scared of that snake I'm gonna shut the fuck up bitch pushy

That's amazing. Was it much much larger? No, it was a little tiny. Oh, it was yeah It wasn't like this wasn't like indiana jones type snake. It was just like a little tiny water snake That wouldn't do anything don't bite you or they're not gonna No, and I was never like a kid who's like, oh, let me go get snakes. Oh, we have an update on the please Okay, all right. I just wanted to reiterate that the art. Okay Let's go back here. I want to reiterate that the artist is not at fault I'm simply showing this to demonstrate what I was talking about. I wanted a full blackout. So the draws

The drawn on was simply to trace my jaw and see how I like the line I knew the blackout would be more drastic and that's what I was wanting I'm just learning new curves of my face is all and was seeing if anyone knew of any Tricks to make the use the line seem lower and you will all definitely Pull through with lots of suggestions. I'm not mad. I was just going through a little shock So she feels guilty for calling out. She feels guilty So she was showing the before pictures of her like practicing on herself and that that's what it looked like

I think all right. Let's see the one. Let's see the before real price to hit the play on that like yeah Yeah, I agree the line she wanted is the one she wanted dig different Yeah, she wanted it here. She wanted it under her neck under the yeah That's not what she that's what she was saying that that was like her practice thing Yeah, and the practice things look great. That actually is great shit Yeah, that looks dope And then that's not what you know what she got is not what she was looking for no fuck

So But wait a minute. I'm confused by this I think she's scared to this woman probably or the artist was like, don't you full could tell me blah blah blah And then she's like, oh, let me retract. I'm afraid. I'm scared. What she got Hey, what's that second one? What does this one say because we didn't play Um, I've seen a lot of people asking this question. So I'm just addressing this specific comment Didn't you draw a line in the first first of all? I did not expect this to blow up. I have nobody on this account I have no views. I was just having a hard time. I was venting

I was probably gonna feel embarrassed about it in two minutes and delete it It wasn't supposed to blow up But now I feel really bad because I don't want any hate to come on to the artist They did stencil it on I even have a video of that. I can post it. They did stencil it on I did approve it. I looked in the mirror and approved it. But I will say we were both so excited I was she was so hype. I was hype. I looked in the mirror for like two seconds. I was like, yeah Yeah, let's go but the thing with

The stencil the line when you just draw the line on Because like I've said, I've drawn this on myself quite a few times and I'll probably post those pictures as well Just so you guys can see what I mean by the difference. So, you know, I'm not going crazy Um, when you just draw the line, it's really hard to visualize what it's all going to look like until it's colored in It's it's such a minute Difference. It's not It's so small like such a small variation. It's a whole centimeter. It's not it's just hard to visualize it until it's done No, baby. She fucked you up. Yeah press pause. So because here's which in the in that final one where she goes huge difference

What she's showing in that is what she used to do Yeah, and then what she actually got and the difference is dramatic. Yeah, it's not the difference is like it's a cool It's like this is on my neck and now it's on her face. That's the difference Yeah, it's below the jaw or on the jaw. By the way, she looks like Abraham Lincoln a little bit. You know, yeah And she does it. She's so nice. She doesn't want anybody to attack the artist But the artist didn't do what you thought and also we all we all have had that where you're just so stoked To get the haircut to get the thing and you're just like, yeah, that's great And you don't really think it through what haircut guys

You don't you don't go get a normal this is this would be like let me get a let me get a mohawk for the first time This isn't like, oh, let me get a cut. I can't wait to get a new cut This is but everyone knows the feel as you're saying of being like so you see a haircut You're just excited and then you get it and you're like that's I'll give it. I'll give a great for instance Remember when mcdonald's approached us and they were like, would you mind painting your mom's house set yellow and red? And at first we were like, yeah, we saw a mohawk. This is fucking great And then you get in there and you're like, whoa

That is too and we were just so excited having you set And then they're like, we didn't know what your material was about. It's like, well, you should have fucking looked it up But when you offered, you know the sponsor the show anyway, you like first of all our material is the equivalent to the quality of your meat Yeah This is they both give you diarrhea We will have people eat your food and then we'll we'll talk about it Can we put this can we do this? Is there anybody in the world that can fix that girl's Tattoo? Are you listening to this podcast? Can you help this girl?

I feel like because they do amazing tattoo removal now that she needs to like start By removing more than she needs removed like in other words, bring it down like here and then redo the starting point Right. So she needs to go through that removal. What you have is fucked You cannot keep that and think that your confidence is enough to get through with it. They didn't give you what you wanted Yeah, and then people, you know, I'm not saying that people should um, you know, but You need to accept that the artist failed you. That's what I'm saying You can still like you can go to a restaurant and have a bad experience and they can still I mean You don't have to bounce them on on yelp and shit on them and take them down. But you know

This is they ruined They've ruined. I mean, that's that's your face. That's your face, man. That is your face. That's your face By bad dental work. You'd be hearing about it There is no equality in a marriage absolutely none Okay, like for example in my marriage my husband's the hot one and I'm the rich one and every other marriage is different Like for example, your marriage will go through different time periods Like sometimes you feel like you're putting in 90 and he's putting in 10 and sometimes you're putting in zero percent And he's putting in a hundred percent. It's gonna vary all throughout. There was absolutely no equality

So don't let anyone fool you and tell you there is equality in marriage. There isn't So she was on here earlier and she was proud to announce that she and her husband were going on the search for the second wife Now what's really interesting is she's like, I'm the rich one and he's the hot one So like why is she allowing him to have more wives? He's what does he bring in other than like his hotness? Yeah, but she's holding the purse. She's got the power. She realizes there's um, you know There's something you have to compromise in her mind for this thing in her mind. She's like, I'm paying He's hot. He's he has more options in that regard. So I'll get him his next one. Oh, so his hotness His hotness is his is his current. So wow. She must really be into them looks, huh?

Yeah, maybe But is this like a cultural thing where she's like, I know my role and he gets to have a second wife And that's just part of it, but I get all the money She's like doing this pro-islam. So we found a whole um, lane of propaganda for north korea. This is like pro Whatever islamic multi-wife I don't know. Tell me the proper verbiage You know, because our all is our all muslims

Are all muslims into multi-wives. No, that's that's that's what I want to sound ignorant because I don't think all muslims are multi-wives This chick's husband certain types of muslims You're you're muslim, right? Niddaf? You're some I feel like this chick's husband watched that first that black dude's video Check this out, right? Taking the chick out of town out of her support system zone. Jeez louise. And how good-looking is this dude? She's very beautiful She seems beautiful. Yeah, she's rich and attractive. So yeah, what the hell you need? She definitely has that lost look in her eyes, though Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's something missing in there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's fun to manipulate those. All right. Let's watch this first one

I suggest pick up the chicken wing either side And you'll feel the bones in between your thumb and index Give it a turn, right? That's somewhat easy then for you to pull apart. Oh my god, right? The one bone and the rest It's so delicious Well, there's the doves not he's very excited. He always goes to the wild wings his favorite place in the whole world But homie, what about the other tiny wing in there? You just you still go off? Yeah, you just pull it all in

Wow, just suck off all that meat. That's cool. Shit homie. That's your spot, right? Did you always know that's how you eat them? Uh, I actually learned that about like six months like within the last year. I learned that that's how it's like Oh, that's why flats are good for some people. You know, this has got me so excited I would be into having wings tonight. Yo, let's have some wings. How do wings? Okay, where's where's the spot? You know pluckers is pretty good. There's a there's a couple of pluckers too. Pluckers Maybe pluckers will be it. We'll see. What a name. No bee does just straight pluckers. I never really cared about like this You know like how you can like this is fucking normal. I don't really give a shit, but

I had an X who was always like You're fat. So bitch. I it triggered me and then I got with someone and that mother fucker And you did to fucking bitch. Um I've never cared about losing weight ever again. I love this girl. Wait, was that English? What did she actually say that out the good stuff? Well, let me translate the second guy loved loved it. Yeah, I loved her and would bang this would bang her out Bust her out and be like grabbing that meat. Yeah, and then she was like, I don't need to lose weight

I just need to find a guy. I need to lose that fucking loser boyfriend. That was telling me. I was too fat Yeah, exactly. Fuck that guy and that's a hundred percent. Well, that's because you were with a fucking awesome dude the first time Solid cat. He was like, what's up with that waistline? You're a fat and shit. Not X didn't have that kind of waist. Yeah Yeah, I lose that weight, bitch. I lose that weight, but she looks skinny, dude. She's fine. She's fine. No, she looks great Yeah, yeah, she looks great I think I think we've This was going on talk. So this chick's got like a colostomy bag. I guess coming out of her esophagus And anyway

Stoma stoma. Yeah, fuck my stoma. Yeah Yeah, she's got a stoma comes out of her neck. I mean, it seems like a good weight loss thing though, right? Yeah, you just get to taste it and just get that taste and Yeah, I feel like that. All right, let's move on. God damn it man. A lot of these are uh, yeah, that's his her I mean, it's I'm not you know, this is her dude What this is some Eastern block shit right here. Oh my god Oh I'm a savage

He certainly is you're not a savage, bro. I'm not even looking over there. I'm a savage Ah true. Okay full disclosure in the booth. Who does this? I mean not the full thing like I snort I snort rocket when I like just one He blew his nose like I thought it was a sneeze at first. Listen everybody does it not on like this No in the shower. Yeah, sure My daughter did the other day in the shower. She told me I was like good for you good for you But nadov does this on the sidewalk. What no nadov does it not the not the not the both nostrils at once I'll plug one and then find like a walk of grass. I'm big

And I'll just crop dust it. I'm gonna fucking throw I did it one time in front of my mom to upset her and she almost threw up. That's cool. That I support Yeah, I did it like on a street sign I'm like, oh go on my hand and then I just like wiped it on a car But if you did in front of your mom, I applaud that my mom would drop dad. Really? Oh, yeah, she'd be like Jason Jason. Oh my god. I just put it together. That's your real name. Yeah, I've only known you as j. Larson I know you know what's funny is I'll meet like jesse's and stuff

They're like, oh, yeah, I go by j2 and I go but that's not you're jesse jesse. He's not jesse But your real name is that you're jason. Yeah, dude. That's wow. You just your whole identity just changed. I know How do you feel about me now totally different interesting because jay is who you are jason. I don't even know that guy I know it's like more basic. What's your real name? William. Oh, it's so white. See you're so Yeah, she was right. You're pretty white guys. There's nothing I can do about it You got no flavor. I do. What are you talking about? I went up to the fucking new edition reunion concert. Where were you? Yo, there's no spice at that show. Oh, you kidding me? No flavor Ralph tress fan. Just fucking tearing it up Jason william jason william larson. Yeah, that that sounds like Yale university. I wish dude. Yeah

Yeah, I wish you're so mayonnaise. No, you're not even not your miracle whip. I love miracle I love the whip, baby. It's a bad rap, but it's so tangy. Why? White I'll take it. You shouldn't be ashamed. No, don't be ashamed. No, wait. How do you feel about reparations? I'm down for it. Okay. I mean shit. I gotta be white, right? Yeah Oh for fuck sake out there trying to ban tiktok. Let me tell you something brother. I'm coming looking for every one of you You're gonna get a david gold

Zodiac butt kicking except for you aoc because I love you, baby. You're too little latina Oh, I hope your husband don't get your boyfriend. Don't get all jealous and stuff That was one of the strangest ones he's ever done. Yeah Um, holy shit. Yeah, he's doing his wrestling bit. That's macho man, right? Yeah, I'm coming for you And then he flirted with the girl and was like, oh, is that okay? It was a whole thing That's a lot. That was a wild ride. So disturbing. So upsetting. It was emotional Who is that cat david gold david gold? Yeah, he kind of looks like bill gates. We've heard it, but I think it kind of looks like tony hawk

Like if tony hawk like had taken another turn, I know he's a guest of the show. Don't you dare Yeah, I mean look does here's the secret david gold might get laid more than we imagine Because he puts this out. I don't know. I've never seen him with the facial hair. He's in good shape He's got the facial hair. He's got his teeth Listen, he's holding on to those teeth. He's doing good except for that one on the front left See it looking to trying to get out of there. Yeah trying to get out of there I mean, he's doing good. He's gonna get a little bit of tea in him get a little mask. Yeah, he's got some tea in there Yeah, yeah, it's a low tea king right now

Yay, the best kind I love low tea kings That's my whole jam. What low tea kings like I like of man in like mid fifties like he's had a spiritual awakening He's made mistakes. He's just does yoga And he's in a wellness and like Then we talk about spirituality and our feelings and stuff. We hold hands We do you want to mean again? Gaze deeply into each other's eyes. Cool

Cool. Good luck with him I want you to be my low tea king. You have 10 years. You can go there. Okay. I'm waiting for you I'm not gonna get there because I'll be jabbing that shit in my ass for the next 35 years Today's the day by the way, let me remind people Jay Larson's new special Sounds like sounds like bros Is available right now. It's on the youtube's It's on your channel. Yep Jay Larson comedy Um people should know that you've been you've been putting out all these sketches and like shorts and all these things

Sure. Yeah, are those also on your channel? Yeah I mean, I try to put as much up over there as I can pass stand up new stand up sketches that I shoot direct, right? Yeah, yeah, that's awesome, man. Thanks buddy. I'm happy for you. It's fun seeing you. Thank you for coming in It's so nice to see you. It's been so long Jason. I know because see you Jason and uh, uh, good luck with the special Go check it out and remember like it review it But also share it you have a good time watching it send it to your friends Send it put an email link post it on tick tock on instagram on twitter share that thing. That's how these things get out there All right. Thank you guys for watching. Thanks for listening. See ya. Bye mommy

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