Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Dating Cool Guys w/ Rayna Greenberg & Ashley Hesseltine | Your Mom's House Ep. 730

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Welcome to another episode of YMH. This week, Christina addresses her shower cap/bonnet controversy, and her and Tom discuss spray tans, super models, Tom’s shoutout on AEW, and more! They watch clips of Kevin Samuels, Jesse Lee Peterson, Horrible or Hilarious, and a guy cleaning brown out of a urinal.Rayna Greenberg and Ashley Hesseltine are comedians and the hosts of the Girls Gotta Eat podcast. They join the Main Mommies to find out which Cool Guy they want to date, and discuss Armie Hammer, if height matters, butt stuff, polyamory, Ben Affleck’s back tattoo, and much more!https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

This week on YMH What about your bottle? I was waiting until we get to my bottle, please stop though Oh, nice, cool Wait, where are the hot cool guys? What's the secret? This is it, this is who you get Welcome to YMH

Welcome to your mom's house to your mom's house. And... Sooo... Welcome to another episode of your mom's house. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever you're listening, whenever you're watching. Thank you for joining us. Jean, there's very exciting, this is a very exciting day. We have a lot going on. So much going on. So much going on. So much going on.

So many things. So much learning has happened. Yeah, a lot of learning. Listen, since last time, look, I made a very heavy announcement about... It was a few weeks ago. A few weeks ago now. Very heavy announcement about wearing a shower cap. You never knew that that's what people do.

I did not know, because like an outdoor dog, that's what people do. I did not know because like an outdoor dog, that's what I live. I live out in the backyard. I want to point you said something. Sure, go ahead. That was so... I didn't think a human being would ever utter this. You believed that shower caps were made for black women to go to the airport with. 100% tall. That was incredible. Just my experience growing up in my home, my mother, nice step mothers, plural, never wore a shower cap. So, when a time I've ever seen such a thing is in the airport, I would see black women wearing them. And you were like, oh, this is one of their things.

I just thought maybe like a do rag, is it cultural appropriation if I start getting into this kind of territory? So I was like, this is not for me. That's okay. Yeah. That's okay. So a lot of a führer over this, the post on Instagram,

I saw a lot of comments that I had been misinformed. Mm-hmm. I've been misinformed. Mm-hmm. It's not that shower caps are a cap. It's called a bonnet. Yeah. Okay.

And I was misinformed by the cap report leader. Wow. And they went pretty hard. People were upset. Any. Any you didn't explain that it was a bonnet. I know as the head journalist and research analyst of CIP Network, I have to take this moment to apologize.

This was misinformation, you know, and I want to apologize on behalf of my entire news team. We take this very seriously, and we're going to take steps to prevent these types of things from... Well, most importantly, do you feel like you learned something? As a matter of fact, Tom, I did, and that is that I never took care of my own hair that way. I should have used bonnets,

that probably would have worked for me. And as a message of solidarity to anybody who wears. Hey, above. Oh! Wow. That is, that's first of all, I just wanna say this is very big of you. It's a beautiful bonnet. Yeah, that's really, really big I just want to say, this is very big of you. It's a beautiful bond.

Yeah, that's really, really big of you. What a cool bond it. Holy map. Now, man, man, I asked too, because look, I have to admit now that I use a shower cap, I got one on Amazon, it showed up. It's got little cute lip marks on it, kissy marks, right?

Yeah, yeah. It looks similar to what Annie's wearing. It does look similar, yeah. Thanks to question, what is the difference between a cabinet bonnet? I'm imagining the material. Yes, that's right.

As far as I'm aware, my researchers in the news report, they have told me, yeah, it's more that this is made from silk material. Wow. Does it feel nice for sleep? It feels great, actually. I feel like, I don't, and I hear it might even grow back. Just from menacingness. Wow. You see, that that's so cool because I mentioned it's for like sleeping you can sleep on it right like some women sleep on a silk pillow to keep their hair from getting too crazy

Yeah, well, you know the nice thing is for everybody listening and watching don't don't ever say we didn't teach anything Today you learned Shower caps and bonnets. They're not just for black women at the airport Today you learned shower caps and bonnets. They're not just for black women at the airport. So, yeah, there you go. And by the way, I saw I used my new shower cap. Dude, it's literally like 47 years. I've been cranking my neck, not getting my hair wet.

I had Tom. It's like, it's so this goes beyond any, I don't even feel like we're in reality. We're not. That you're like, I didn't know I couldn't, there was a thing to not get my hair wet. I mean, look, my mother never did it. My mother washed her hair every single day

and then squeezed lemon juice in it and teased it up and did all kinds of crazy stuff, but we just were not a shark-hap family. I don't know, dude, but now I feel like I've joined the land of the living. I like, I see in color now. Yeah. My life's so much easier.

Yeah. Do my hair so much drier. Yeah. I'm gonna look, what else am I missing out on? Oh, bro, I know. I tried a spray tan too with your sister while she was here. How was that? She did so good.

I noticed that you did it. You did, um did probably the right thing and you went really mild. It just looked like you had a little bit of sun. I think that was smart. It was, because it's probably very, appealing when you get into a place that you're like,

yeah, make it look like you got. Tempting. Yeah, attempting to get like a really good tan. Yeah, I didn't do that. No, I didn't do that. I put a sticker on my arm, maybe, make it look good. Yeah, tempting to get like a really good tan. Yeah, I didn't do that. No, I didn't do that. I put a sticker on my arm, maybe you can still see it. Yeah, it's already faded. So that you can see exactly how tan your skin got.

So it was just like a nice layer and it makes you look thinner, healthier. You feel excited, like, oh my God, I just came back from Hawaii or some cool vacation. Yeah, I think I'm gonna keep doing it. You look healthy. Bart has been really into it. He's been talking about it non-stop.

Well, he's really dark though. He went really dark on his second round, which I think is probably the thing is that you, you taste it, right? You just kinda go out, okay. And then you go, okay, I'm ready. And he really went, he really, really went. Cause he looks like a total Floridianidian guy like he's out on the boat

Fishing every day. Yeah, he looks really Suncissed he did he did it. He did it really too much. Yeah, he'd like he'd been out on a boat for a long time So here's the only crazy thing about spray-tam bro is like you can either go naked and like some 20-year-old girl I'm definitely doing that And by the way if if I go in there for a spray tan and they're like, oh just put on this song. I'll be like no But hold on believe me. You see it all here You see it all and here's a crazy part is she goes okay turn around now bend over so they get under your cheeks And I was like good thing. I wore because then then you but then you're spraying chemicals on your shiny

And chemicals on your cock and balls And then yeah, but I sit on your dingus and then six hour you can wait six hours you fucking come home Just wait six hours and it just dries up and it smells bad too like why can't they make spray tan smell like Chanel number five I don't know why it's got a smell What's that Those are gay guys fucking. Yeah, it's just a guy coming relax, but I do feel so much better with this tan Yeah, I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna try it, but they're getting the full show I'm not putting on the song. It's chicks dude. I'm just gonna show my whole up front

I'm like here's my whole Here's my stuff in the front. It's my whole and you spray it you spray it. I want it to be tired They're gonna spray you. Yeah, and you know it's even in my ears and stuff. It's cool. and you spray it you spray it. I want it to be tanned. Oh, they're gonna spray you. Yeah, and you know, it's even in my ears and stuff. It's cool. Cool. All right, let's start the show. We're even done opening clip. I got stuff to tell you. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Where would you rank yourself on the market plate? Eight.

Out of what? 100? Okay, what is it? What we write from one to a 10 yeah okay nine okay have a good day always ready all right p that guy the best That guy the best Mom's a girl Ready? Ringo, Ringo Alma Cunning, John Lennon. Play it all. Go.

Go. Go. Go. Go. Now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now It's your chance Out of what 100 It's so harsh. He's the bet. I miss him and he's making the rounds again on Instagram It's so great. And I'm just like revisiting all these good memories. I remind yourself that he's gone. It's such a bummer. So you're like, oh, fucking cool. And then you're like, oh, fuck, he's dead.

But he was skinny. He looked good. What was it? A heart problem here? Yeah, that's the thing that can fool you. I know somebody who is a thin guy. Okay. And all right. And he's run his whole life. And he had a heart attack. Oh, it's a like your dad though. All right. He's taken care of himself. All right. Then guy and in a heart thing. It's not just fatties. How good that. The level of delusion that Kevin Samuel's had to deal with, I mean. Well, it's fucking so, God.

Because the woman is doing what this modern era tells everyone to do. You're a 10. You're a 10. You're a 10. We're all 10s. Yeah, you're beautiful. What are you doing? The other fun, the good thing about that though, is that what he's doing or what he did

was a reminder to people that that is bullshit. It is bullshit to be like, we're all tens. Like, that's bullshit. And no one will do it until, until someone goes, how come I'm single? And he's like, well, let's kind of evaluate things. What are you bringing to the tip? Like he's doing what are you bringing to the real conversation that we used to do all the time. Yeah, we used to be like, yeah, this is what you look like. This is what your career is, this is what you're bringing to the show of it. It's all a factor. And that used to be the norm.

Someone would be like, well, you know, you got to fucking move up in life if you want this other stuff. Of course. You got to get it together. And then now they're like, whatever you are. And you're just being 10. Yeah.

Can I tell you who's a true 10? Naomi Campbell. Yeah, she's. Naomi Campbell. You're watching that supermodel man The super models not the fucking supper models these fatso's Look at her look at her now. I don't know how well how old is Naomi? She's got to be in her 50s In her 50s bro. Got to be look at her. She's born in 1970. So she's six. She's 53 Look at her. Doesn't, and by the way, I don't know if she's had

an injection done her face or whatever, but whoever's doing the work, it looks like that. But she always looks. And her body. She did, she basically looked like this 20 years ago. Oh my gosh. And then she smoked, she's smoking in this document, and she's like, I really have to quit smoking cigarettes

and her mansion in Kenya. And you're like, you smoke cigarettes? She's like, I drink alcohol, I do everything bad and she still looks great. Kate Moss too. Kate Moss too. Cocaine, cigarettes, bulimian, and this is the kind of, she still looks great.

And this is the kind of thing too. When we go fuck right off. You know, you can be beautiful at any size. No, you're not. No, you can't. You're only beautiful if you're as thin and perfect as these women. Then you're beautiful. No, you can't. You're only beautiful if you're as thin and perfect as these women. Then you're beautiful.

And if you don't look like them, guess what? You're not a 10. They're a 10. It's so true. It's true. There's a reason why they made tens of millions of dollars off of just being born.

Like that's what they did. They were just born and they fucking look like this. And then companies are like, will you please put this shirt on? Yeah, and say, and here's a million dollars for doing that. Yeah, it's that. It's so crazy.

It's crazy. She's so bunshin. I saw an interview with her. She's in her 40s. She looks fantastic. Here's an interview I saw, Tommy. She goes, yeah, at the height of my modeling career, I was drinking coffee all day and smoking cigarettes.

Hold on. And then at night, drink a bottle of wine to calm myself down. I'm like, and yet you still looked perfect. Yeah, you still look perfect. I do that one night. And then right now, she goes, I've let myself go. Now I live. You know, like, yeah.

I mean, last night, we drank with our friends and everything. Look, I look like shit. I have to wear these glasses because I look so bad. Yeah. But I won lunch. I won't die. And I look like shit. This have to wear these glasses because I look so bad. Yeah, but I won lunch a one time One time and I look like shit this bitch. She never packs her lunch, and she looks amazing They're just gift that if it is you know what I'm at ex you know who her tens people who lucked out I know they're lucky that's their gift and they look like that they you're not them

And that's okay. You're good at other stuff. Jizzel's probably not a great joke writer like me and you know She's got she's got different. She doesn't have a podcast about farting and jizzing. Different skills, man. They're different skills. Out of what, 100? Yeah. That was so funny, man.

Oh my God, I was so excited. I got tagged in this like a week or so ago that on AEWW the wrestling show. Oh my god. Oh my god. You know, of course, Mystic Rick, one of the, I don't know if you could pull up Mystic Rick for people that are. Greatest wrestlers of all time. Yeah, I mean, he's huge, huge wrestler that, you know, he used to do the turkey slicer and all this shit from back in the day. And when I brought him to the podcast world, and I was, I was dog and wrestling, I never expected that the wrestling community, you know, you just don't

know what's going to catch on with people. And I was in like wrestling news. And then I was hearing from wrestlers. And then friends of mine who knew wrestlers were like, they're really disappointed. And like, I was like, because I should on it pretty hard. Yes, it was a bit. Yes, it's how bits a lot of times work where, you know, you say something that you kind of, but you exact, I mean, I was heart short that I was. It's called comedy. Yeah, I was just exaggerating. But it was so funny that I was like, wrestling's old bullshit and it's fucking R-worded. And then last night or no excuse me I guess a week or two ago on the on AEW There was a sign in the audience the guys like near the front and it just says Tom

So girl was right as this guy on Mike in the ring amazing It's so funny to me that somebody would do that amazing. Thank you I got tagged in it so many times. Thank you very much for letting me know. I thought it was a really funny man. And I've become friends with a number of wrestlers from this era, like since this happened, but that really made my day.

The truth is out there, Tom. The guy's just reporting the truth. Now why the spacing between the word Tom and Sagar, I wonder what the deal is, man. Oh, interesting choice. Maybe it was to disguise what his sign was saying. Maybe he put something else there and then took something the way sort of like when Zolo went to go on the bus concert.

I had a drive, we love you and then dropped it. Where are the bodies? One of the most iconic moments of Josh Zoll's career with Wyoming Studios. He must have gone out of my life. He's got to have never been more excited. It was incredible. I mean, the rush you must have felt.

Yeah, it was so fucking stadium. I know. And we weren't supposed to be on the floor at all. We were up in the nose bleeds. Chad and I snuck down there. And then we also didn't know that, like, you know, so many people would be videoing that song. So the whole thing was like,

did you get that on video too? And he did and it was fucking perfect. Amazing. Lightning in a bottle. And for people, yeah, they don't, like you're standing there. And it says, we love you, Garth, I think. Yeah.

And then it gets on the jumbo tron. And then you just dropped that car, then it says, we love you, Garth, I think. Yeah. And then it gets on the jumbo tron. And then you just dropped that car, then it says, where are the bodies? And there was a quick cutaway from you. There was just like, nope. And you see the camera shake. Oh, yeah. Because you realize the director's like,

cutaway, cutaway, cutaway. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're just giving our friend the tour of the studio. And I just happened to pick up the framed national inquire or article That came out about why I'm aging Garth and I was like this is probably my most

I'm proudest stuff that was all my work in this business for 20 years It's really that do you make you into the national? The cool thing about that is that one day, you know, just like when you go into like a Like let's say an old comedy club or something that one day, you know, just like when you go into like a, like let's say an old comedy club or something that one day, one of our sons is going to have that house and someone's going to be like, what is this all about? And he's going to be like, you know, my parents used to fuck with a country superstar. I'm not going to be like, what? He used to troll this guy named Garth Brooks.

And they'll be like, I know that guy. It's really good singer. Why would they do that? They said he was a serial killer. And they'll be like, is your parents? They were most proud of this actually. I know. It's so stupid. How fun was it the last night when our friends were over for dinner?

That was awesome. It was so fun. What happened? And LS came running through? Oh yeah. So, you know, you realize that at some, you know, there's just some things you, you have to, you know, make some sort of concession. You're like, yeah, I want to have our friends over.

But yeah. You know, where our kids are going to be around. So you're just like, all right guys, you just kind of distract them for them for a second like yeah, I let them meet all the candy and what just let us talk to our friends Please so yeah, so we We're having having dinner having a great time and then We finally it's like all right. We gotta get in so they go to bed. You go in there with them Tell them all right go to bed. you come out and you're like, it's all out like, yes.

We sit down, we're still talking, then you hear footsteps, which is obviously all the time when you have kids, you're like, what's this gonna be? And our oldest is walks through the kitchen, while our guests are here and he goes, oh, I got a poop. And we were like, okay. I finally said dump.

I did teach him to say dump. We're gonna take a dump. Maybe he did, I thought it was good. Clayton, is he still in there? Clayton, it was poop. He's like, I got a poop. That's a friend who was. And we were like, very good.

And then he's a parent too, so he was like, I'm familiar with this. Thank God. And then we see the little guy behind him, he's like, he's just like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm gonna go with him for support. Yeah, and then it's just a way to not go to bed, which is like what their experts in doing.

That's all they do is fight bedtime. They don't want to eat, they don't want to sleep. God, dude. Here, I got some fun for you. Yeah, you'll like this. The, I've, dude. Yeah, I went through a divorce. Love her, I'm a roast. Yeah, I went through a divorce. I love her, Amber Rose.

And then I start dating after that. And it's like, well, if going out on a date with a guy makes me a slut, then that's just what I'm gonna be. I don't think going out on a date made you a slut, but having sex with different men makes you a slut. Well, what does it make you

if you have sex with different women? A slut maker. A slut maker. Oh wow. Are they that amazing? Ah. He really feels like he's teaching right there too. He's like, you're like, what I just taught you? By the way, Amber Rose is so beautiful.

This girl is gorgeous. And has made a fantastic living being like like yeah, I'm a slut and doing slut walks in LA and very pro sex positive. Sex positive. Yes, so that's really funny. They have all people this guy is telling her that she's gorgeous. She's just amazingly good looking. She could even say that she's up there maybe in a nine or ten.

Oh, she is. She's a nine or ten easily. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Where are you at? No, I'm just thinking that she would have you sat her next to the other lady and she was like, I'm a nine Out of what? Oh Yeah, yeah, no Amber Rose gets to say nine or ten. No, you date men to exclusively women. Oh Would it be a bad thing for our conversation if I dated men? Well, I wouldn't be bad for our conversation

It would be interesting. Okay. Yeah. Why don't you date men? I'm not attracted dated men. Well, I wouldn't be bad for our conversation. It would be interesting. Okay. Why don't you date men? I'm not attracted to men. Oh, good. I don't see anything wrong with it, but I know you do. You do not see anything wrong with it? With being attracted to men?

Why not? Why would it be wrong? Because it's of the same sex. So is that normal? But that's not an argument Just liberals are betas Yeah, that's awesome But that's not an argument. Yeah, you just find weird for your gay. Yeah, I'm being so gay

Yeah, yeah, so man who liberals are This guy's insane. I know. It's not the way he's the best. He's pretty great. He's no fucking sense. For those who don't know, we've been playing clips right now. These are Jesse Lee Peterson, a pastor and an educator.

This is another clip of his. Mary inspired. Steve is going to be real wealthy one day. He's going to have more money than Donald Trump. Are you willing to be a housewife and not work or anything and homeschool the kids and that kind of thing? Home school. Stevie wouldn't want that for me.

He would not. He loves, yeah, no. He loves because I can do both. But it's so hard on a mother to watch over the man's children and work and think like that because women are so emotional, all that stress was like, freeing them out, and they killed the children.

I mean, even the guy with him is laughing at him. Yeah, it kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children.

It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. It kills the children. I gotta say whenever he says this warm stuff, I'm kinda like, you believe, yeah, you want me to quit? No, I just think that he's really on point, you know. Ha ha ha ha ha. Wait, which part though, the agility feelings?

Yeah, just like, Katai, where he is, right? Real talk, real talk. Sure, sure, yeah. It is, I think that men and women are constituted differently such that you go and go, go, go, go, go, go, makes you feel, makes that you go, go, go, go, go, go, makes you feel, makes your schmeckle harder,

stronger, happier. I think you know what it makes you feel? It makes you feel like you're worthy. Like men's validation as men comes from, I'm from a lot of men comes from working, contributing, like doing, doing and achieving, is like a very, I feel like it's a very male thing, right? We're going to be doing things.

I'm working, I'm working, I'm supposed to work. Right, and then whereas for me, now that I have children too, it's extremely depleting. So I have to be very selective of what work I do. Yeah, that makes sense. Most of my energy goes to our children. Yeah, and here's the thing, if you're a woman,

and you're, you said that, it's so demeaning. No, I just want to make the thing, if you're a woman and you're... You said that like it's so demeaning. No, I just want to make it clear that if you're a woman, then you're... But when you're no women are these days, Tom, what is a woman? If you're a woman and you're listening or you're watching and you're going, well, I'm I side more with Tom, just know you're a guy. You're a guy. Do you call clients? And you think like a guy and you're a guy.

But I will say this, before we had kids, I was more like you. And that I would love to just grind and fill that hole in my heart. And I would work. I like that. I originally used that felt like I was with a guy, and I liked that. I was like that.

I was like that. I was like that. And we did push ups together. I would push ups and I spotted you. I would always make you go face down and be like, tell me how much you bench. And then, yeah, it was feel like I was with a guy. I like that.

Yeah, like in like the movies where the guy's gay and he's having sex with a girl, he's like, face down. Face down. So you're gonna have to hold. Where are you shaving it? Let the hair grow. Yeah.

But sometimes I do think you would like, you would like it better if I were a guy because you're always like, why don't you like football? And like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I like, you better, if I were a guy, because you're always like, why don't you like football? I'm like, I'm just a woman. I never say why don't you like football. Why don't you like football? Why don't you cold punch?

You're always like, you should really do the cold punch. I'm like, I'm a woman. I don't wanna be in a comfortable wall. But I don't say it like that. I just go, do you want to? That he answers your snow? Absolutely not. No, yeah.

Oh, it cold punching? No, it's for lesbians and men. We already covered this. We'll see this other one. Do you regret not getting married having children out at your older? Well, and I'm gay. You're gay?

Yes. You're all gay? We come in all shapes and sizes, brother. So you're gay? I'm gay. Icoming all shapes and sizes, brother. So you okay? I'm gay. I don't know you were gay? Yes, but I just told you. How did you become gay?

When doesn't become gay, when is born that way. Oh man. This guy's a father. I don't know you could be gay in a father, am I? Well, he's a priest or whatever. What kind of a priest is he? What? And on the Catholic church, are you allowed to be?

He's a Catholic, you can't tell by any color. But what is the color? It's a priest, but. What kind of a priest is he? What? And on the Catholic church, are you allowed to be? He's a Catholic, you can't tell by the dollar. But what is the collar? It's a priest, but it's not of the Catholic community. What church is this that they're like, it's cool? Could be a Piscopalian, yeah. Yeah. To say to the same. A Piscopalian.

It could be. What church are you allowed to be gay in? A Piscopalian? Yeah. Yeah. There's some newfangled church. He's a Piscopalian. Yeah. But also, of course, you could be a gay priest and Catholic as well. There's some newfangled church, these Episcopalians.

But also, of course, you could be a gay priest and Catholic as well, I'm not saying you can't be, but they probably wouldn't announce it. Yeah, you're not allowed to be openly like a gay. Well, I mean, it's not, you're out, I mean, it's not common, but the way that he clearly has said this openly, that's what makes me think he's definitely aside from the collar,

not Catholic denomination. Nice, nice. I feel like almost sad to click this next button because I think he's gonna say something so mean to this guy. Yeah, it seems sweet. I know he seems like such a nice guy and he's like, ugh. Just God know you gay?

I believe so. Did he make you that way? I think that's my opinion. You think they got made you gay? I have no, you know, I don't know the, I'm not gonna be presumed to plumb the depths of the most time. But yes, I've been gay as long as I can remember. And so have you been with men?

Of course. Like, sexually. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. My sexually. Yes. Yeah. That's my real sense of this. This. What?

Is it first time you've heard of Gays? I don't know. That's really funny. He's very bothered by it. Yeah, he really hates it. Maybe he needs to try. This kind of, this, when people get this type of reaction though, it always makes me feel like you're, you're only a few questions away from discovering their own, like, you know,

their own curiosity with it or their own experience with it, you know. He wants to sell it. This is just bullshit. You a priest, can you curse? I just did. That's amazing. You gay and you curse? God, not pleased.

I must be, God is not pleased. Okay. You just interviewed him the way I were. You curse God not please I must be I'm God is not please He just interviewed him the way I would yeah, well this guy settled in and was like I think he just realized how fucking crazy This guy is yeah, oh Well, oh wow, that was a fun fun run down second Here we go or something for you. Let's cleanse the palette. Yeah, that was bothering like that. Yep, that's how I feel about people biking in the streets. Here's a good part. You could hear the screams. You liked it. That's terrible.

Well, the guy's biking on the freeway. It's so insane. It's so crazy when people do that. They're like, what? I have to get here. Well, not all bicyclists, but some do have quite an attitude. They're owning the roads where they're carless. But what's crazy is that on a lot of streets

that we see these things on, there are bike lanes and they're always out of it. Yeah. And sometimes you gotta teach someone a lesson. Teach them a lesson, I like that. And then a fucking dump truck. You gotta run over a bike in your truck. Yeah, your massive, it's so big that he gets,

I mean, this thing is huge. But why is he, he fucking semi-truck stupid? I don't like where these big trucks are Oh my god That's stupid I like that part Cool stupid. Yeah stupid It was cool. Stupid.

Yeah. Stupid. I broke my leg. Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah. I broke my leg. I broke my leg. I broke my leg.

Yeah, that was pretty. How did you know? Usually, you know, when I broke my ankle, I didn't know. You didn't see the part where you found out? No, it was kind of. Did you miss it? Yeah. Yeah, so when he falls, he jumps off of that and that humongous piece of rock falls with him,

it lands on his leg. Oh yeah, that would do it. But that's not when he knows, Christine. He finds out that his leg is broken when he makes the attempt to stand here. Oh, he's like, oh! Oh! That's you, Miss.

You miss that, for sure. He's like, oh yeah, that's not smart to try to So refined I can be leg guy Damn, that was terrible. That didn't make me feel any better than the last clip Oh, that made me feel way worse or actually did can you put in something a little positive? little positive. That was terrible. That's your people trying to jump a building. Yeah, somewhere in Hunter. Look at him.

They're always okay. Whenever these Ruskys do this crazy shit, they're always like, I made it. Of course they made it. It's just their cockroaches were cockroaches There's no such thing as being sick or broken 100% you're gonna like I found one you're gonna like okay, look In the urinal somebody You're a dick This poor man, I know what a good. Oh, well nobody should have to do that and he does it cuz it's his gig

Poor man Yeah, it's put a mask on baby. You don't need to smell it He's gonna poor guy. He's so skinny too. There's an having my gin him. Yeah, oh Pickin up a shit. Oh, I think his him. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, I got it. I got it. Well, we want to see the video.

I know, but I don't want to see him throwing up. He's not throwing up. That's a good man right there. It is a good employee. He should get a fucking race. Okay, I'm trying to tell you something. Okay. When I worked at Barnes and Noble

in like the summer of whatever it was 96. Yeah. You wouldn't believe the animal shit that human beings do in a bookstore toilet. There would always be like a sea of pubic hair on the seats or just big logs like this. People go in and just dump like that. Why don't you flush your dump? Fucking Barnes and Noble. Just to fuck with the next person. Why don't you flush your dump? Fucking barns in the middle. Just to fuck with the next person. I don't know, but then you would get your job for the night for closing, and that was like my dreaded job was to clean the toilets at the bookstore.

It was especially after a weekend when people would go to the Starbucks, treat their coffee and then shit at the bookstore. Horrible. Horrible. It's like, what are you doing? Go home and shit you dummy. Yeah. Why do you have to shit at the bookstore, what are you doing? Go home and shit you dummy. Yeah.

Why do you have to shit at the bookstore? That's not what you just got to shit. But if there's one stall too, it's like one stall, isn't the pressure too much? No, sometimes you just have to. I know. I know. A lot of bookstores have, you know, they have coffee

and you're just, you're like, I'm looking at books, drinking coffee and shit. But if there's multiple stalls, like there's one in Pasadena of Romans, that was my safe haven. Yeah. But there was's multiple stalls, like there's one in Pasadena of Romans, that was my safe haven. Yeah. But there was like multiple stalls. You know what I mean?

What are you gonna do? Not shit. Yeah. Hold it in. This'll make you happy and then we'll wrap it up. Go to Romans and Pasadena. Ready? Yeah.

Why is your car so loud? I'm sorry? I'm thinking of Pasadena because it's just annoying. No, I did it for myself. I just like the way it sounds. But nobody liked it but you. What did you say? Nobody liked it.

That's it. Yeah, I know I liked the most about this. How dismissive he is of her. That's how you should talk to all women. Let's wrap this up. We will be back in a moment and Welcoming for the first time to our studio the two chicks from girl got to eat Raynight Ashley. Thanks for coming in everybody. Let them hear it. Thank you for coming

We're so young we're just like We're just like Total chicks Sure very you guys like the sex positive ladies sex positive Yeah, we just played a guy who couldn't believe that another guy was gay is like you gay You're really a gay. I'm glad we brought you guys a bar plug. Oh, yeah Nice. Do you wear those? Are you friends? I'm wearing a nail for you.

We're doing it right now. Can you wear one right now? I like to wear it. I would do headphones and butt plugs, that's all. Well, actually, we have a good one. Do you find that you focus more when you have a butt plug in? Like you're able to get your tasks on. I focus on my ass hole.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what's going on. That's what's going on. I don't care about this. This is stupid. No, wait. I'm being serious. When do you, because we have a girl who cleans her house

and she finds it more meditative. You make it sound like we own her. Well, she's a huge fan, she's front of my day. Can you do stuff with a butt plug in? You can do anything, yeah. So if you really, if you train your butt with a little old things in, yeah, you can clench it, walk around,

I don't see why I know that. Well, we heard a story about someone that wore one of the metal ones and you sit down on the subway and it clinks, you know? Sure, yeah, that makes sense. But ours isn't metal. Yeah. That's amazing.

Do you, no, this girl said, don't recommend sleeping with the butt plug in for eight hours, why is that? I would understand why. I just wanna be comfortable to me. I mean, people do suggest if you wanna get into butt play that you start to put a thing and leave it there for a bit. Yeah, strength training for your bubble.

Strength training. Yeah, here I am. I just want to clarify, I'm not wearing one. I just want to do that. That was a bit super funny. Yeah. Do you want to go put it in? No.

And then give it to Tom. Are you in the regular practice of wearing them or trying them? No, not really. I mean, I like butt stuff, but I am not like a big put a toy in my butt. My boyfriend's were just getting him into butt stuff. Him and Reina have been discussing how to ease in. Oh, you put your boyfriend with her to discuss. He texted her. It was our first text ever. He texted me help and they were on a trip together

and I was like, oh my god, he did something really horrible to her and he needs my help backing out of it, like making it up to her and he was like, lose talk of butt stuff tonight. And I wrote him a dissertation on how to make her butt feel good. I was proud and uncomfortable. Well, it was like, give us a little insight.

Like what did you do? Okay, so she doesn't like a ton of full penetration. You can ease into it. Like you gotta work there. So you were coaching him specifically for, oh, that's very nice. Yeah, it was a nice bonding moment for everybody. So you were like kind of, you know,

play, play in the field, like have a little like more things up. Yeah. And then don't hammer her in there. Just kind of. Right. And I wanted him to even do it too. Like I think that some people think

but play is just like too faint. or just you can just you can just you like a finger in the butt right. No. Yeah. No. I got your stand up. You do. He likes it. I thought you were looking at me. Sorry. Tom is very much into it and I have to admit I'm very afraid. It's warm up there. I'm roast. It's hot. Thank you so much. It's hot. It's steamy and hairy. It's warm up there. I'm roast it's hot. Thank you so much. It's hot. It's steamy and hairy Generally, I don't want to put my hands anywhere. You gotta get long nails. You have an excuse But then the want that cut oh They won't want it. Oh see your Your hands right now are too perfect She doesn't listen she doesn't need another excuse. There's already

Fucking 20 years. Well hold on. maybe you guys can help me then. How do I work up the courage to guess fake nails? No, no, to to finger his beak and which finger do I do a thumb? Do I do the middle? What do you like? What do you like? I do it to yourself. When you do it to yourself, when you like.

Of course, I close my eyes and I picture a woman and I'm like, oh yeah, and I talk to myself. Which finger do you do? I mean, the like index or middle, yeah. It feels like index for sure after a shower, so that it will warm up while you as much. And you can just, in the shower, or a little bit, you don't have to be like,

you can't have a little, you can't have a little, you can't keep fucking telling her this shit. Just see it, the star. See, I have a friend that goes, I put my finger all the way in and then I, I j, j his d, and I'm like, that is so varsity to me. So I think what you're saying is, is I need to start off very small, like preschool.

Like just, just, what if I just tap, tap. And then I'm done. Yeah, just a panic tap. I think it's like everything. This is the thing that we find so much. People have these big and timidity and ideas about anything sex related. Like even blow jobs, you gotta finish it.

Are you spending or swallowing? It's like, you can just suck a dick for a blow jobs. You have to finish it. Are you spending your swallow? I mean, it's like, you can just suck a dick for a little bit. It can be for play. Like I think people get overwhelmed. But stuff means anal. It's just like none of it. It can be, yeah, a little tab.

Do you also, does your boyfriend like, has played with his well? Like I have the best idea. Not his butt, no. I like to fuck with him in public. Like just do a credit card swipe. Like, he got the back. He's just like, he's just so kind. Like, I'm just like it is bad luck. I just like it is bad luck.

I'm just so, no, I'm not like getting back there in bed. He's just not, we'll see, we're still pretty new. Sure, sure. Hold on guys, I know you have your own sex toy company. I had the best idea. Why? Okay. Do you think you can make a finger tip,

like a set finger tip that covers my actual finger so that I'm get creeped out by Tom's heat and hair. Yes, so she could use, so we have one called the Lucy with comes of a bullet and some different sleeves for the bullet and we're gonna start telling one that has like a little finger slip and you can just put your finger in it

instead of the vibrating bullet. What do you think of that? Just don't get stuck. But here's the thing. What if I just said the right thing? Can I tell you something? No, this is like your full shit, man. You keep saying this like all the time. No, this is what this is, like, your full shit, man. You keep saying this, like, all the time.

No, you're fucking, you keep everybody, what if I just shaming you? Why are you shaming me? Why are you shaming me? Because I'm scared, Tom, it's called fear. You drank? Yeah. Well, get drunk first.

That's the first step. See, this is why we need these ladies to teach me. I don't fucking know. I'm not normal. Do you know I just figured out a shower cap? I've never used a shower. I heard about it. And I also was thinking about you in the shower

because we're staying at the so-house. There's a rain shower. And I thought of you because you're like, I can't even try to wash your hair. You can't use the rain shower. It's a whole thing. So I was just thinking in the shower earlier. Thank you for thinking of me.

You're so sweet. And now you'll think about me. I'm just scared. But you're telling me alcohol synthetic fingertips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I just click. Okay, let's move on. So he's so upset.

Like, you know, you're like, oh, what if I, okay, so I'll give it a try. And then you don't fucking try it. Because we never, it's always the kit. We would too little boys. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Do you have the goal posts are moving now? Yes! Way over here. Like... It's just the way you get to figure out what a bottle and talk to yourself. It's just so unarousing to have like, mommy, like, it really takes me... I think in the showers the move.

Do you guys ever shower together? Yes. Oh, okay. In a hurry, yeah, I pass. All right, well... Okay, in the shower. Okay, okay, okay. All right, anyway, so...

What about your bottle? You're so trashy. I was waiting until we get to my bottle. I don't want anything All right, anyway, so What about your bottle I was waiting to we get to my bottle. I don't want anything anywhere new that is I don't want a finger a tongue Hate it so much every guy I've ever dated like while I'm like on top just like ride and go into town What's the stick a finger in my by hole and it takes me so far out of the mood? Wow, I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

But this is a good thing of orgasming. And you will send me right back to start. This is why you probably, I'm assuming, then endorse really communicating what you like and what you don't like, right? That's a very, I mean. That's very much what our show is about. Yeah, so do you, is it kind of like a thing

that you lead, like do you tell guys upfront? By the way, I don't like this. I don't tell they do it, and I tell of like it's a thing that you lead? Like do you tell guys up front? By the way, I don't like this. I mean, until they do it and I tell them they drink it back up. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if it never comes up, yeah, I mean, if you never try to figure my bottle, I don't need to bring it up. Yeah, I am happy to request things that I enjoy. We always suggest mentioning something on a podcast.

There's this thing on this podcast, sounds crazy and fun. One, I had this boyfriend that wanted to always like figure my bottle while he was coming. Like he would be on top and. One, I had this boyfriend that wanted to always like finger my butthole while he was coming. Like he would be on top and he was, I could tell he was about to finish because he would just go straight to my butthole. Well, he was, and afterwards, I was like, we're at dinner, so I was like,

so I kind of noticed that you tend to like, go towards my butthole when you're orgasming and that's not, I don't, if that's something you wanna explore, we can talk about it, I don't really want to. And he was like, I don't know why you have to bring this up all the time. I'm about to shove and I'm like, this is my butthole. I don't want any in my butthole.

Sure. Now, will you lick scrum? Well, I lick a butthole? I would never have. You can do whatever you want to my butthole. That's not in my business, but I'm not, you would never have a man's butthole. I put it in my mouth, or I'd hate you.

All right, you know what we're gonna do is we're gonna end the show. Thank you, guys. I've been waiting for you to. But ladies, I'll do finger stuff all day, but. I'll put my mouth on a man's. I'm not. I'm not.

I feel embarrassed. But think, what can we take? See, I agree with you. And I do, when I do stand up, I'm like, who here does it? And there's a lot of young girls, the shuddering judgment. Right. No, a total shame in judgment. It's disgusting.

You probably can get a coli or whatever. Why are you doing this? You guys stop doing this. Or of an older generation. Oh, that's fine. That's fine. OK. Tell us, what are steam trains like?

Are those fun to drive around in? Yeah, I just have some. I'll do whatever with my hands, but I just can't. There's something about it. I'm just like, it doesn't taste good. Thank you. It's not an enjoyable. It tastes my thing.

If I had a partner that really, really wanted it, like that was this thing, I think I would attempt it in the shower only. Thank you. There is a place. Even I will not do that. I was like, okay, I'm in the shower. Okay, so when you're saying it doesn't taste good.

I did it immediately after a shower. Like, I got out of shower again. Yeah, that's fine. It's still an open cavern into your butthole. Yeah, yeah, it is. It is and a cool chick is cool with that. You know what I mean? Yeah, put these on.

Put these on. It's so stupid. Now, I thought this would be a fun game to play. Okay. You guys are known, for you know your opinions on Sex and you're guiding people. How about we give you four guys and you tell us in order who you who's the most like a Dating yeah, okay, here we go. It's so excited. It's the best. You're gonna love this. I'll make this brief It was generally you shibman I'm looking love this. I'll make this brief. There's John L.I. you, Shibman.

I'm looking for girls for pussy. I love you, pussy. That's number one. Okay, so first of all, he ended straw. And he communicated well. Okay. He's telling you what he liked.

I mean, there's a little more people. He fell a little rascal to his voice. I think he can't breathe. If you're in the fact, guys. I was for some action. He lived in Missouri. Oh, very specific now. Missouri's.

Call me at one to five, seven, four, five, seven. I was very specific. I was very specific. I was very specific. I was very specific. I was very specific. I was very specific. I was very specific. I was very specific. I was very specific. I was very.

Call me at 1-5-7. I was at his digits. I was at his digits. I was at his digits. I was at his digits. I was at his digits. I was at his digits. I was at his digits.

I was at his digits. I was at his digits. I was at his digits. I was at his digits. I was at his digits. I was at his digits. I was with her pussy. Text me at 1-6 or call me. My name's John, call me at 1-5-5. Right. So far, he's in the lead, obviously. He's the first one. I don't know, John, can handle a lot of action physically.

This is a very good point. No, it's actually ever said. Wow. He's struggling to breathe to get this out. Right. I see what you're saying. And we don't even have him on a swing or swinging. No, we're not.

It's a beef jerky swing, guys. To be fair. I think that would be fair. If you are open to it, he's probably going to lay down and he's on his face. Yeah, I think that's really what this is. That's cool. That's an easy, hey, in the grand scheme of things,

that's an easy thing to please face sitting. Big walk. Just keep putting it out there. Do you like this? So you know you're saying like are you into this? Okay, right right cuz like what kind of guys? You mentioned we cut it off because we wanted to save it that you're fucking an ableist and that you are God You know you don't take guys a little chair

You never heard that term. You never heard avalists? God. You don't take guys' real... Yeah, you know the... That's a name for that? Yeah, you always laugh at the cripples. So, no, that's not you.

No, that's not me. You do that. But you are 5 feet tall? I am 5 feet tall. And what do you... What kind of guys to go for? People that look like the rock or Dave Batista? David Tista is number one. That's your number one. That's my number one.

Batista. Bought to you. Nice to see a photograph. A photograph. Sorry. He looks like a monster. This is your so you got to get full body. You got to get full body. There he is. That's him. You want a gorilla? I want a Neanderthal giant bald beard

Covering tattoos hold on hold on hold on hold on you have a five feet tall woman Into it like about a scale of one to ten how would you rank yourself? We want to date by teased a bet. How do you know he wants a five foot tall? I don't this She's just saying where her privacy is that's what I would pick would you would you be into this if you was like 5 5 glasses like Aaron Burr what's his height? What is his height? He's like six three is he big man? Okay, I didn't know he's a deal man. Can I tell you my theory? I didn't really use that. He's six four. He's a giant. His dick will rip you apart. So yeah,, my ex that kind of looked like that.

The biggest dick I've ever seen, it's hard to take, but I would deal with it. Hold on. Can I tell you my theory though, with really attractive men? Yeah. Okay, if you're gonna go for like, this guy's like a 10, right?

And who's the first guy you mentioned? The rock. The rock. The rock. This is where you're gonna have to rain a little more. So here's my theory. Here's my theory is what we start with. Right.

I was gonna throw Travis Kelsey in there. He's a top-for-for-fork. Okay. So I just saw the other day I was at lunch and I saw a really attractive man, like a 10. Like a fucking rain-gastling, like, dude, bro, 10. So I was like, dude, this bitch he's with better be like a dime times two.

Like, she better be a fucking 20 because they can fuck whoever they want. So how are you keeping Dave Bautista around? How are you keeping him faithful to me? Maybe I don't need him to be faithful. Maybe I just wanna have him come home at the end of the day, hang out with me, we tell some jokes, whatever, and he can go on the road and fuck whoever he wants.

I don't care. I also don't, he's like, don't you feel like he's a little specific? I'm not attracted to that. He's not a town for everybody. That's right, which's like, don't you feel like he's a little specific? I'm not attracted to that. Right, that's right. That's which is fair, which is fair. But being that what you just said, does this mean that this is not for you

what you would want long term? This is just a fun thing? A long term forever term. Oh, forever term you want that. Oh wow. He's also like, it seems like a really nice guy. He like rescues and fosters a lot. He actually does seem like,

I've seen the interviews with him. He seems like, and he does. He seems like a really good guy. He like rescues and fosters a lot. He actually does seem like you're, I've seen the interviews with him. He seems like, and he does. He seems like a really good guy. Oh, come on, right? So you're saying you would forego the monogamy, the safety, the security of a loving marriage. To fuck a silver back away. This sounds perfect.

Sounds perfect. Wow. I thought we were damaged. This is crazy. I feel like it's like, don't ask, don't tell. Yeah, I don't, I don't want to know about it. I don't want you to come home and tell me about it. I feel like it's like, don't ask, don't tell. Yeah, I don't want to know about it. I don't want you to come home and tell me about it.

I'd like you to make safe decisions and wear condoms. But I don't think that there's one type of relationship to have. And I think that sometimes with somebody like that, you've got to be a little realistic that they are going to sleep with other people. Would you consider Pauli Amory? I'm not interested in my partner dating other people.

This is a hypothetical person. I don't know. But like you wouldn't be sister wives for him. Yeah. I'm not interested in my partner dating other people. This is a hypothetical person, I don't know. But like you wouldn't be sister wives for him. Yeah, I'm not interested in my partner like having another partner. But you turn a blind eye. If you had kids with Dave Atista and you were like, well, he steps out on the marriage.

I gotta tell you something. That's wild. I gotta tell you something. I would murder, like I'm fucking killed. It's up to you. Yeah, yeah. Fucking kill. I'll tell you in this scenario relationship. I see Ray. Ray sounds pretty cool to him. It's up to you. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking kill.

I'll tell you in this scenario, relationship. Raina sounds pretty cool to me. She's talking about you. I'm actually like, he's looking more and more like my type. Raina, you got this out. Raina. No.

Look at that. I won't even make eye contact with you. You don't need tattoos though. Do you? I'm getting them this week. For your red flag. You don't have any? No, I don't have any.

Ashley, you're red flag. Ashley, I don't have any. Ashley here. That's a red flag? So I don't have any, but I would never date a guy without that. It's my toxic trait. What? It's weird. I don't know. It's like no offense, but I'm just like, I really like it.

That's the only thing we really have in common. We have totally different tastes, which makes it so. You like sleeves, like lots. I don't need like two full sleeves. My boyfriend is like 13, they're all over, you know. There's the scatter thing, because I have, I enjoy the aesthetics of tattoos a lot too. Yeah. But like sometimes they're, they're like, you know, mix and match everywhere.

They feel like scattered. Yeah, you're just like that. I told him to kind of like, let's just pause for a second. But do you like, like that, you, you guys showed me a photo of somebody with like a, a really cool sleeve? Like do you like that? That looks rad on a dude, I think. I'm down with a sleeve, but I also,

I don't want two full sleeves, two full legs up to you in the neck. That's a lot. How about Jokey when the real, does it matter to you? There's a line. There's a line, right? Because there's like, Mr. Hamburger, whatever fucking on there,

it's like, all right. Or a trans. There's a line and also two, like, I don't know to cringe to like deep Yeah, you don't share that feeling with me my brother has this tattoo on his back It's half of his back and it says watch me become Oh That's pretty

Just dry that I mean Feel so you do make fun of him? Every day. And he's cool with it, though. Is it on a lot of like, like, Ben Affleck's? It's his whole life. Did you see Affleck's? Yeah, he doesn't have like risen from the ashes.

You got a Ben Affleck back tattoo. Have you ever seen this? No. Oh my god. Really? I, why is this crib tonight? It's like, I know. Wait, wait.

That's Ben Affleck's. Yeah. Our friend did this for Halloween as girlfriend painted it back It was incredible. Look at that. It's a phoenix from me. I get the symbolism of a phoenix rising from the ashes It's insane. My goodness. It's not for me. I never saw that. It's too many colors for me. Oh, that's intense Right colors. I just want black by the way. Let's go ahead and say it though underrated director The guy really is an unbelievable Can I tell you something though?

I like it. I thought my pussy would dry up, but I- Hey! The wings, I can't. Can I tell you why I like it? I actually love the symbolism of Phoenix from the ashes. I'm a sucker for this analogy. I don't know what this is.

I'm liking it. He got this when he divorced from Jennifer. For the worst, yes. That's seriously the way he did it. I would have looked so beat down ever since. I'm a sucker for knuckle tats. That to me says real mental illness. And I really like that.

That's true. My ex had a Jaguar that size. Just kind of dead as whole back. A big cat. I like a big cat. The whole back, it came around the side too. No real significance. He just liked it.

I love this. So far, we give you John who lays on his back. Now we're gonna move on to a different type of guy. Who lays on his back? You would require to make Daddy come. Is that understood? And it would be done in a way that you wanna do either with your body or a friend of yours.

That's a girl that you can sell with picture and say, daddy stroke her. Okay. Oh my fucking throw it. So this guy, I hate it. Now, here's the thing. The way that he speaks, it almost presents your, it almost if you were listening, you're like, oh, this might be like a wealthy guy. You know, like they hear such, close your eyes, I hate it.

And then you look at the background You're like that's a mattress kind of like maybe on the floor. There's it's very messy. It's not a nice place So he's not He thinks he's Christian Gray. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's like I A video that you found or Something that you think or something that you think was like the cadence. I'm just saying to call the cops. Okay.

So far, John's in the leadstone. Yes, John. You had this information. This guy, you should report in the accordingly. Well, he's already been. He's hiding in plain sight. He has a natural self-horror. Yeah.

That's his prison cell, actually. Yeah. I hate this. This guy. I also don't like daddy. Like, nope, yeah. That's a very specific thing. Dad, you like a daddy. I hate this. I hate this. I also don't like daddy. Like, nope. Yeah. That's a very specific thing.

Dad, you like daddy? I don't. I don't know what she does. I feel like she does. Can we talk about this quick? I feel like Bought Teast is like, daddy's home. I was like, and then Reena's like,

wow. Reena, do you really like someone to say make daddy come? Is there you into that? Um, I don't hate it. It's like close my eyes and this guy didn't look like this. Can I are you into that? Um, I don't hate it. It blows my eyes and this guy didn't look like this. Can I tell you why though? Is it cause your real life dad's not a creeper?

Cause my real life dad's a fucking creeper. And I think that's why I don't feel safe, even remotely, he didn't trust me. But he definitely is like, he fucked the law. Mm, now he wasn't into girl like children, but definitely it fucked a lot of women. So he's a creeper. So like maybe that's why I can't do, I can't even go like children, but definitely affects a lot of women. So he's a creed screber. So like maybe that's why I can't do,

I can't even go here. A hypersexual guy. A hypersexual. Torch women, not children. Yes. Is that the sexual background at all? So I think the daddy thing is interesting and I can't fully like hypothesize,

but like I just have a really good relationship with my dad. So I like, I don't want. Right, and we are. I don't like it. But it goes either way. I don't know. So what's your deal with your dad? I don't feel like, K and we are. I don't like it. But it goes either way. I don't know. You have a good relationship with your dad. So what's your deal with your dad?

I don't feel like, King Sham, you guys can make fun of me. I like what I like. I just like some great stuff. For yourself. I have a great relationship with my dad and my stepdad. No one's ever touched me in a weird way or made me feel uncomfortable. My dad seems pretty non-sexual.

He's had a bunch of wives. That's a good, I think that's how most people, especially women went their dad Yes, dad Non-sexual. Yeah, he his last wife actually told me she's like, we don't we don't have a sexual relationship And I was like that's amazing. Yeah, thank you for trying to her dad came to us 76 years old And he was like he's starting to date this lady and he was just like are we gonna have set like he wanted to hear about What are they supposed to do at this age.

Yeah. He was asking Ashley's advice. You guys. What to do at 76? I don't know. I mean, it's such a blind spot for me. It's being so young, but I don't know though. Like, can you meet at 75 or whatever

and just have a nice, non-sexual, companionship relationship, or are we fucking if we met at 75? You know, I think the real answer is that it just varies person to person, right? Because I've actually, I had to be educated on this one, my, because my dad would tell me about his friends that were like in real, and then there were, there were the totally like non-sexual ones, and then there were the dudes who were like 85 and still fucking, you know.

Well, right, all those Al Pacino and then the other, they both got their partners pregnant. I was recently, Robert J. Well, five normal, like, what, what, what, it gets it common for like men, adult men to talk to their adult male sons. I think the older, I think the older, like, because I never had any sexual conversation

with him as like a teen or in my, you know, it's like, I think as you start to view your parents as people, you know, when you get older and then I think they start getting comfortable talk like, you know, we didn't get into the same conversations that I have with like my friends, you know, but he would let, you know, you could also see him, he'd be like, ah, you know, I remember that girl and she really knew how to suck. And I was like, what the fuck? And then, you know, he would let out what he likes. I love cleavage, like big debts. And I was like, yep, thanks for settling me. I like your impressions of your parents.

They're really big fuckers. You know what I was like, it's so, we always talk about it. It's so weird though when like your dad's like, do you know what makes me hard? And you're like, that's crazy. But that's essentially what he's saying. Like he's not saying it like that directly, but when he's telling you like love cleavage,

you're like, you're telling me what makes your dick hard. I don't want to know that. Right. Do your kids watch like other of your standups? No. They're so not interested. Oh, real? Okay.

I mean, they will. They will. It'll be horrific at some point. Yeah. They're five and seven. They can't even write. I put on one time, I was like one of the few things that I could show them.

I put on dad. Look, here's dad talking about you on like, Colbert and like I'm and he was like, he's like, that didn't happen like that. Like I was saying. And I was like, and then he was like, where's my fucking like he just goes right away. They don't give a shit.

That's not true. They don't want to know. The only thing, like I can't say it, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna be on a show that they watch pretty soon and I'm positive. That's a wrap. They don't want to know. The only thing, oh I can't say it, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna be on a show that they watch pretty soon and I'm positive. That is exciting. I will see if they even want to watch them.

No, that's gonna be different. That's a dream to be able to do, to be on a show that the kids actually like, and she's doing that. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Kids are stupid, you know? They are so dumb.

They're so fucking dumb. I remember when my brother went to Disney World, we did a full four days and they were like, Matt, what was your favorite part of Disney World? And he was like, the monorail, like the train between the parts. My parents were like, what, we just had to put a monosubway. Yeah. Like they just don't know where to put the tram.

No, a lot of places that we go, like their favorite thing is the escalator. That's also that. Yeah. They'll write it for an hour. Yeah. Up and down, then they'll go against it. Look, I'm going up while it's going down and they're laughing and then somebody who works at whatever places like excuse me. Could you not have your kid do this?

Yeah, we got kicked out of a department store. Because I like in Texas, they can ride the escalators and no one gives a shit. We were in LA and they were just riding the escalator. I mean, you're going to be disrespectful and the guy, and the guy yeah security came I'm gonna walk my ass out all right ladies Yes ready to Moistin up here we go oh Instagram that is I'm on a roll today because women are fucking stupid okay, they're fucking stupid Yeah, okay, I don't understand why it's so difficult for a good guy to be a fucking

sane woman. I don't understand why everyone was a fucking stupid idiot. I don't understand it. I just don't. You understand? We are in the situation we are in because woman ate the apple. It is woman's fucking fuck. Give me back my fucking rib and go back to where the fuck you came from All right, are you the background? Is that like a Washington or is it like a skeleton? That's a sex doll. Is it his mom? I think he's a collector of it. Is it like taxidermy? What is that? I think it's a skeleton with the American flag dream.

Yeah, skeleton dressed up for the life of a skeleton. Yes, that's what it is. Yes, he's where. No, we're not. I'm not. Sorry, this is horrifying. I feel like you're you're the curveball here. No, I feel like this is How was John still still was a John John still believe is that wild? I'm looking for girls. Pussy. He's leading right now. Well, it's got the caveman like fully I have an argument in favor of the cave man. Is it okay?

I'd love to hear it. Okay. He's just been like, shit on by women. He just needs a girl. It's our fault. No, no, no, it's clearly his mental illness. But if you could just be nice to him, I think it was just, now eventually,

you want to be able to have sex with him. I see that. He's like an angry like internet commenter. Yeah. Yeah. Someone just like, you know, eventually you might be able to do a sex with him. I see that. He's like an angry like internet commenter. Yeah. Like someone just like is not, you know, nice one. He's very hurt, right? He's very hurt. It's clear.

Yeah, that he's been. Totally. I'm not gonna sleep with him, but. No, no, no, no. I do think he deserves some kindness from somebody. His mom was mean to him, definitely. Yes. For sure.

And he's just like, I don't know, he's tired of not getting any attention or affection, I think, you know. He just have to to him. Yes, for sure. And he's just like, I don't know, he's tired of not getting any attention or affection, I think, you know. He just have to hug him. And then he can't never. And then he comes. Someone else can do that. You think he has sex with the skeleton? Probably. He flexes everything in the apartment. He only know when cares as much as me as what that is. Like, I said it's just started with, is that like George Washington made? Two more. Okay. Okay, I've been on here. I've been polite. I've been kind of been honest. This is here Now I'd like to have some right all my lips. I would like to have

Some titties around my face. I would like to have some sex I'd like to have a woman in my home. I hate him so much. I can't. I'd rather listen like that cave guy. I'd like to be showing me in or leave little boys. There you go. They get their cells off and then oops, they don't care about their partner. Yeah, actually how much you come last lady 10 15 times before I even went boom once What do you think of that you look turned on these people feel so like Are these people watching and see me laughing at them and come after me You were through your face was amazing.

I wish we had immediate play back. And he was like, I don't know. I kept thinking he like don't laugh because he were gonna find me. Oh, you're okay. 16 more. Does this guy have to,

is this someone's dad? You know what I mean? What if that was your dad? No, in his defense. Oh my dad's not this creepy. In his defense. You know, he's watching, he's watching, you can see in the reflection,

he's watching Rachel Maddow, he's, he's, he's progressive. He's informed. Yeah, he's informed. Yeah. Yeah. He likes Rachel Maddow. I'm a little, I feel a little better about it now.

There you go. You dated that guy a little bit. I would expect to see like Tucker Carl. Now his message though, I feel like his message, you know, a little crude the way it said, but he does make the point I'm not like these young boys who just interested in getting the show's off last lady. I was with 10 to 15 times Cares it's what vibrators are for like rather than this. So there's this guy that's like the kind of been

I don't feel threatened, but he's been like after me for how many years and like after me for how many years? She's just a surprise. Well they're dating now, that's her boyfriend. That's what I'm talking about. So he's been sending me love letters and DMMEs come to shows and he one time he came to a show and he brought me this like jewelry box and it opened it up and it was a room key

and he was like, I wanna eat your ass tonight. It was wild. So he's like. Hope this video doesn't scare you. Okay. He's like written letters to our joint email Reyn is so mortifying and he's just like, he has a lot of like female comic crushes too.

I think he's done this like Nikki and some other girls. And he's always in the comments. And he's super supportive like at first glance. You're like, wow, and then it gets deeper. And the letters are a lot about like, I'll make you come over and over and it's just the same energy of like, I'm a giver and give me a chance. And it's like beyond creepy.

This guy is not as creepy to me as the other, this guy just seems like an older guy. It's like, I do want some nookie. I want some to do. When the tone in their voice changes, I like can't handle it. You don't like when they, oh my god.

Did you see her? Actually, we just completely closed off to you. Can you stop though? Oh my god. So. So. Can you stop though? Oh, my God. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm gonna say all that is everybody is just like, they can't, they've short arms, everything's short arms. Put it in the freezer or get one of those arms.

And also too, I don't like when they drop any sort of courtship etiquette. It's like, I've tried being nice, and now I'm just gonna put it up there. That is what he's doing, right? Stop dropping courtship, women like courtship. This is what dudes respond to. Exactly. Okay guys. Which is what dudes respond to. Exactly.

Okay guys. Which is why guys are the fucking best. Because we, you guys are a man sometimes. I'm gonna cut the hood. We could call the shit. Oh, here's some roses, go fuck yourself. It's like my cock.

So, yeah. Oh my God. All right, so. I hate it. Isn't that cool, you know? Oh, bullshit, you're turned on. That never works. Who, who? Ah, bull shit, you're turned on. That never works. Who, who?

Okay, hold on. I guess. This grand finale. Yeah, the grand finale is ready. And the yellow lenses, like, you know, as I have the same one. I know, I'm like, it looks like Christina.

See, we're in my glass. In a way, you can say there's a perfect match here. Somebody meme that. So you've seen very cool guys. Yeah, this is the coolest. Well, I just tried to give you, you know, a full bladder of different types. Perfect.

Yeah, it's the buffet you had. You had the, John, who's not gonna do much. I'm still on his face. Right, you had, you said, easy money. You had this guy, they all make you come guy. You had that. Daddy, don't forget.

I don't need a recap. I remember them all very clearly. I'll never forget that. They're burdened in my brain forever. Well, here's the last one. And don't forget, recap. I remember them all very clearly. I will never forget their burden to my brain forever So I'll ask one and don't forget we really would like one like some breakdown of who who's the worst who's the best? Okay, okay, here we go yet a rank come one and Julia meet Joe Just wanted to say hi. Wish you a great day Tell you that meeting you yesterday

Actually, it was so far. I been on the greatest moments of my life. You were so beautiful. You don't know how beautiful you are to me. Rain is smitten. I don't mind a standout. It's not gorgeous, you're precious. But it's been sit to my mind when you said to me you want to go back with your ex-boyfriend.

Please erase him from your memory. Don't ever go back in the past. I know because I've been there and I understand when you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates and not that compares to your ex, but there is that better person out there. And Julia, I promise you it is me. I will love you like you never been loved before. I will cherish you. I'll make you feel like a woman, a real woman, and believe me, after you experience me, you won't even know who your ex-boyfriend is.

Open up your heart to me and your arms. Oh, so gone. Let's go full throttle. I can see me full and I love with you. With you. You're just setting up. I just opened your eyes and I just met you. They met yesterday?

Yeah. Anyhow, I'm heading off to work. This is my cute little home. Everything you see behind me, I built everything. Every square wrench from crown mold into chair rail, to floors, to lighting, to plumbing. I'm going to do it. Go with windows.

Manly. So this is the type of guy you get. I'm a very handy guy. And I'd love to build you whatever you want. You're a sweetheart. So I hope this video doesn't scare you. I just want you to know that. Okay, forward going out to dinner with you.

So let's make it happen. Ciao, baby. Ciao, baby. So did this... Sorry, did these come to you guys? No. I was like, who's Julia just was like, fuck this guy, let's put this on the internet. Yes, so what happened was that,

Julia question's actually very interesting because we ended up meeting Julia and learning the story behind it. It's a whole saga. So this, yeah, this is actually a whole saga. So this one came because this guy was going to the same gym as Julia. Okay.

And he saw her at Sinan. So he knew that her name was Julia. And then when they, when she walked out of the gym, he followed her and just, that's the only interaction they've had is in the parking lot of the gym. And he just spoke to her and she was polite to him. And as he was having a conversation with her, he was like, can I get your number? And she said, how about I

get your number? Okay. So he put his number in her phone and then hit call so that he had now heard number. So that was their only interaction. And the next morning, this video was in her texts, you know, like an unsolicited text from this guy who's saying, good morning, this video was in her texts, like an unsolicited text from this guy who's saying, good morning, it was great to meet you yesterday. It was gonna change my life, and I'm gonna fall in love with you, don't wanna stop. She then showed her friends this video. Her friends were like, oh my God.

And then they are the ones that made it circulate. And they had fun with it, they kind of were like asking him for more videos. He did a couple more videos. Well, how do you know about our ex? See, I'm here for sleep on the couch. Disappointed. You got me wrapped around your finger. Cute.

But that's all you get. I'm exhausted. Oh, he's Delulu. Okay. But that's all you get. I'm exhausted. Oh, he's dilulu. Okay, actually, I don't hate a guy like goes out of the limb, tries to be nice because I was waiting for him to say something disgusting. Of course. A whole lot of butter body or like, I just want to suck on your pussy lips and he like didn't. And I think this guy was trying to be like chivalrous and go out on the list.

Yes, he was. If it was a two minute video, like I think a 10 second thing could be, it was still giving me the heck, but it would be more normal. You're like, hey, nice to meet you. Is my house ever getting here? I built it, look how manly I am. I'm build you something sweet.

Yeah. And it's up for me, but it could be for some people. There you go. Ashley. It's just so delusional. Like it's so much. But like what do you, I'm already kind of doing the mental gymnastics of the other four.

Like I don't know how to compare, you know what I mean? It's tough, right? Yeah, it's still John for me. It's still John, look at that John. You know, if you're going to Missouri soon, you might have yourself a little situation. John captivated your heart. No.

You guys started too strong. You started with the winner. I actually like to sit on people's faces and all the things that it was. It was like he can't run after you if you try to leave. So he's really breathing heavily. Like he's not running. What if he's amazing with his mouth?

He probably is. Yeah. You can't sit on that guy's face. He's gonna suffocate him. John doesn't have much longer left. Yeah. Which also has a plus. Which also has a plus.

Yeah. Should we pivot? Should we tell them the thing now? What? All these guys are dead. No. No. I know.

This wouldn't change that. Oh my God. I would change how I talked about them to be completely hot. Oh yeah. Like, I see meaner actually, because I'm afraid some of them are gonna come after us. But what do you think of Morning Julia guy is like in bed? Is he super earnest? Is he super earnest? I bet he's giving such small penis.

Like I just feel like this guy looking out to body shame but don't you feel like he's got the tiniest logic? Really? You get that from this? I don't know what it is about it. It's look at how it's a body shame, but don't you feel like he's got the tiniest little dick? That, you get that from this. I don't know what it is about it. It's nothing special if it's anything. It's not large, he's not endowed well. The whole thing is the small dick energy.

The whole vibe. That's really interesting, no one's ever said that before. That is a first. That is true, yeah. Like this desperation. Desperation. Like if this guy's slaying in some horse cocky,

he's not sending this video. Mm, right. He's like a carpenter. He's like a carpenter. I've always felt this about, I have empathy because I've always felt that everyone, especially every guy, can relate to the feeling of wanting to send this video, right? But then you go like, oh yeah, don't send this video. Like, you know what I mean? Like, of saying like, I met someone, oh my god, and then you go, your mind self-corrects

it and goes like, don't tell somebody that. Well, come on. I guess I change when I realize he met the day before, one time. If they've been dating a little bit at the time, it's totally different. No, this is premature. Also, if he was hotter.

Well, yeah, they could change things. Hotness does take away a lot of things. The goatee is something else. It's such a decision. Yeah. Also, if I like, you just watched you do something cool, like what a football game, or a wrestling match. She's so into that.

That's crazy. This could probably play Pop Warner football. I think he's a Pop Warner. Yeah, he probably did play football in fourth grade. Yes. I also know who this guy is He's like from statin island. All of his friends are married with kids He's like the weird uncle Greg that like hangs out with people

But like never has a girlfriend. He doesn't bring anything to the party with him Yeah, I don't really want to morale. We've known him a long time That is A little weird with everyone's kids. He like wants to be a dad So bad you're not like creepy, but he's just like weird. I got I want to take him home and you're like just Yeah, and now I feel like I got I want to show you a couple more. Yeah Hello, excuse me Can I talk to you please girl?

Life feels like hell without a girlfriend. Someone to talk to always think about. To make me better person and to bring the best out of me. And to enjoy the best forever young years together. Go on adventures. Still not a break, by the way. Have passion in hardcore sex every day and every night. Because I'm trying to sweat, girl. I want to lose some face fat

You know highway looks sexy. It's out of the road There's nothing wrong with being a horny girl. It's part of life. Everyone's different. I Get horny fast girl I can't pink dick. It gets hard like a rock girl. I want you to jack it off baby and kiss my neck here your girl I want you to jack it off baby and kiss my neck here your girl Starts off good And grip my hands on your thighs baby and rub it up and down very specific It's like it's he's give is like a rapper towards the end Yeah, he purses his lips in between hands

He punctuates each side Yeah, with the duck face. And it started off good. I kind of like the original pitch of like, let's spend our forever young years together and then it's you jack my dick, I rub your thighs. It's my dick, it's my dick. It was kinda sweet, right?

It started to. Yeah, I like the beginning of the pitch. Yeah, first half second, I was like, he's my pick. And then I also feel like his, I feel like there's famous people in the world that are like this. Like I feel like that there are the like people out there that are like rappers, like I don't want to say pit bull,

but like that energy and there this is their true self. If you are, say your favorite things you are so weird. Yes. I'm a medallion, yes. Like that. Our army hammer. Yeah.

That guy that was eating women, I had a friend that just hooked up with him. Stop. Recently. Yeah. What do you mean? I don't want to say too much. Please do.

But say it. Yeah, she said, I'm dying. He's amazing sucks. And that doc is crazy. Yeah. It's crazy. I thought he was in like the Caribbean being a landlady. He was in town.

Dang. Now, did without giving away too much, though, did he go back to his old ways? He did a lot of what I think is in the doc, like the love bombing up top, you know what I mean? And she just, I don't want to say she fell for it. She knew what was happening, but he's hot and made her come. And she was just like, maybe. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe I'll be the, the fifth part of the doc. But she met him and then she was went home and watched the doc. She just wanted to brush up. Yeah. What did she think of him after that though? Cause it's a terrifying thing to watch. I know, I think she knew already.

It was like to self correct. I think she was trying to like not have a crush. She was like, let me just watch this. And she was like, I don't know. She's so lucky. Maybe come. Like if every guy you met, there was a documentary about him. You could go brush up about him.

That's so late. That's so good. I think it is. I think it's called Instagram. I think he's trying to get his life back. TikTok, you know, I think he is, he's, yeah, he lives in like wherever. The Caymans or something like that.

But yeah, he's gonna be a creeper until he yeah, yeah, he's wired a certain way. There's just yeah, there's no. She asked him about it and he explained he was just like, you know, obviously, I don't want to eat bones and stuff. Yeah, it was the flesh. It was the close. Yeah, I get to say whatever your tips off. What's a big deal?

Stupid bitch. It's starting to talk and I'm gonna do it. Yeah, you did not mind it. I did not mind it. When he did mind it. I know. I listened to those voicemails though. They're kind of hot. Listen, I sometimes I listened to the voicemails once or twice and closed my eyes and after me. Wow, you're a sick bug. You're the sickest person we've had on the show. You're sick with all of his grotesque. Holy shit. This is the biggest thrill.

Damn. I like you. He's a very deep voice and it's just like, he's got a great voice and he's handsome. He's very handsome. I'm going to tie you to the bed and you're not going to be able to move. I love that shit. Wow. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah. But you't know. Yeah. But you got to separate him from the actions. Yeah. Do you just kind of divorce him from who he is? I haven't watched the doc. So it's pretty bad, right? Like all of it, right?

OK. I guess I don't know. I think I know just like the top level. Yeah. So the voicemails by them came out like day one. This was long before like tons of women came forward and said He sexually assaulted me. Yeah, that's in the dark. Oh, I guess I'm not trying to I guess a kind of I'm in all of the details Who you are? That's cool. Yeah, I'm just saying day one voicemails. I was into it once you got a little more information

I divorced myself from the situation Sure, sure. There is something really captivating and turning oning, if that's the word. Where a guy wants to consume you. They're like, yeah, you're in, you're that enemy. You just want to fucking my boss. Yeah, you're like, you want to eat me and then digest me and shit me out. Like, yeah, that's hot.

I don't think he got that far. Tom, would you eat me and shit me out? I mean, yeah. Love to. Can't wait to use the total watch that to spray you off my ass cheeks. So hot. You guys feel like this guy is just, he's too bald.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, it is shiny. It is deeply bald. It's really shiny. Yes, he's waxed his head and he shapes that everyday. I love him.

I love him. I love him. Oh, his name is Glendale Gary. I mean, I don't know. I got a soft spot for him maybe because he's an Angelino. And I just, I just, if you have a flat tire,

like what is going on? Why is it on the side of the road now? He's as nice as when he feels inspired, you know? It just happened to be right then. He's like, I gotta pull over and shoot this right now. Oh, for ever young. He's like a white and triple egg girl. Sometimes he's like, yeah, in the car,

he's like, you like this Mercedes-Benz, huh? At first glance, he did, he was giving like, the Greek driver that I fucked, you know, like at first. Which Greek driver? I just, I fucked our driver in Greece. It was just, but he kind of had that. Like your Uber driver or a guy you, he was like at the dry, we had to get the driver.

A higher driver, yeah. That's a good looking guy. Yeah. He actually also drove a Mercedes much like that's a sprinter man it was a 16 passenger man I think I've had that guy when I was raised nice guy yeah he was really fucking very handsome yes you know I know I know him they share necklaces oh god this one you got that apple. Ayya, ya. It's the one tooth for me.

Yeah, I'm feeling it. Look here. You all miss that ball? Huh? Guess what? I'm coming at your fairies. Oh, yes. It doesn't matter if you got a big booty or a flat booty.

I'm coming to get that booty. And look, I want to lick them drawers One love for all of the beautiful women. I don't give a damn where you from. He's very romantic He wants to eat you when she's out No, no And I want your feet too Oh, yeah, look I want to dig in your booty Oh, that's some good

Good I actually like it You know what a blasped is? No Well, we're gonna use your booty There you go I'ma hit the bra, I got a break in the name You understand?

I feel sick I'm gonna put some corn chips, man. Is that a bit? What is it? Yeah, it's got a pen. I'm doing it in input. All right, I'll think you guys are turned on. I don't think he's a little old for me.

He's older. That's the deterrent. It's no. You. Of all the other stuff. His teeth kind of remind me of my dog. Doesn't have great teeth. Neither does it. Some people have the gift with their teeth kind of remind me my dog Doesn't have great teeth Some people have the gift with their teeth and so don't yeah, so his age is initially

The thing that's the front runner of the problems for actually this guy 30 years ago maybe Full mouth of teeth 30 years ago Right he probably wasn't wearing his hat sideways. This guy if he was a different person, maybe. Right. But are we still going with John? Is he the leader then? It's John for you. First guy.

The first guy. It's a gun to my head had to do it. Wow. I also just like, they all just seem off. Yeah, you're, like, John, you're, you're spot on. Ha ha give you a bunch of fucking tens Me are these guys kind of weird She's like these guys are not cool Wait, where are the hot cool guy?

This is it this is who you get welcome to why I made Okay, I'm Like Dorae like John just seemed like the least Drain I think John is Skits a frenic is Skits of Frenik. Oh, first kiss. Definitely. Crushed my dreams, why don't you?

I built a Ferris wheel out of beef jerking. You're right. So he's delusional. He's definitely enjoying his own life. Same for the rest that he's not going to chase you. He can't. You know what I mean? You can sit on his face for a moment and take off.

The problem with Uncle Shine is if you give him just a little something, this guy is going to be at your front door. That's right. Like a straight cat. This one. When you just a little something, this guy is gonna be at your front door. That's right, I've got a guy before. Like a straight cat, this one. When you feed a straight cat, you give him a little bit of nookie, he's gonna be all up in your ass over here.

Okay, the guy before that, if I can convince him to have like a three day shadow on his head. Which one, the Glendale Gary, yeah. And like, the beard instead of a goatee. And I gotta look at the shade of pink, that is pink. Because he has that is pink.

Because he has pink, pink. Pink is a crazy thing to call out. It's a pig dick. Yeah, pink. It's disgusting. Like, we love pink. It's not in my penises. Right.

Our vibrators are pink. But how pink, right? Like, how pink that you had to call out that it's pink. Not flashy. Don't change. I feel like there is another thing in my head. I hate creates, I'm not sure. I'm sorry, do you need a call?

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, do you want to talk? Oh, see, he is a beard here. He's got a beard here. Don't you like there is another Oh, he is a beard here already improving yeah He's got this is my Toxic little toxic. Oh He's kind of tall Like his outfit. Yeah, why are you talking about being famous all that shit? He's also giving tall. I don't know, he's like his outfit. Yeah, my like joggers. He's not like a baby, my son, that shit, he's not a baby. He's also giving me like an entertain. He's like a picture of that shit. Yes.

Well, he has the most manicured face hair. I'm not a fucking asshole. I can't judge my mother fucker. I got respect for life. I'm a man who's in the crowd. So he was clearly manic in the other one. Right, it's turned out. And this is what he likes him. What do you you said that that while he was waiting for the he was a manic episode. I think you're right actually. Yeah, and this is now this is the opposite of the manic.

I think I think to be get there you said you're your thing is they have to be six feet, right? I like to talk guys. I just I like real big like like to feel small. I mean I always feel small because, I'm a tiny little but what if it's a great dude a great dude you meet him. He's five eight He'll react. He'll know Five ten close enough, but he wasn't He wasn't what what makes him great. No, I'm saying. He has a bunch of other great qualities Uh-huh, right that you like whatever that may be he's yeah, there's all these things Yeah, then but he's, seven and a half.

You're like, nah. I mean, it's not my dream. I think we all have a dream of like, if I could build a person. Yeah, but that's just a build a person fantasy though. That's why I think dating apps aren't really for me. They're not my favorite thing, cause I would never swipe yes on somebody like that.

But if they walked up to me to bar and that was the coolest, funniest person, then I wouldn't be like, Ew, girls, get me boys. Yeah, right. You still fucking seven and a half inches taller than you. Right. Like, you still. I know, I don't get it.

Yeah. Some short kings are lovely. I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just I was like, this is, I'm straight in my neck. Like, this is too big. I like a big bag. Yeah, it's just that. That guy. That guy's fucking weird tall. Like, that guy's.

He was our basketball center. But I'm saying, that's freaky tall. Totally. But I'm just saying the high comparison of her. I'm a foot taller to me. He was like, so bizarre. Part of you was like, hey, man, are you a monster? You're fucking six nine.

He had a monster. I'm sure. People that dick out, I was like, it tumbled out. I was just like, what? It tumbled out. Like, it's like he went on the monster. Yeah, sure. People that dick out, I was like, it tumbled out. I was just like, what? It tumbled out. Like a slinky one on the stairs. Yeah, I was just like, we can just cuddle. That's not, I can't, I'm not doing that.

Yeah. Can you give me some idea? Let's put it this way. I was blessed enough to meet my husband early in life. So I don't have a ton of dick range. What's a tumbler for you? Can you give me a hand rep or show me with your hands? Well, what is that?

It's probably 10 inches. 10 inches? Is it the liquid death can? Well, it was just the biggest dick I ever saw. Is it a liquid death can? It was a proportion to his body. Yeah, okay. Like that's okay.

So here's the thing that I would talk about sometimes on stage. It's like huge dudes, because I heard some NFL players talk about this. Like they have a normal sized dick, but it looks so small. In comparison, like it was some NFL player, it was like, I have a decent dick,

but it looks like you hung the Mona Lisa in the Hoover Dam. It's just like not impressive. He's enormous, yeah. But his dick, as at six nine at this huge dude, was like proportionate to his body. I mean, with a measuring stick, I mean, what is the biggest dick in the world?

Show me the can, is it the can? Garthwise? It was longer than the can. This girth is so good. This is crazy. This is you. This is crazy. Yeah, not this thing.

No, wait, come on. No, no, it's not. It's not a thing. Yeah. But I feel like it was probably. It was girthy and it was. And so long. Yeah.

I just think so many girthy. It was shocking. It was a huge dick and I don't profess to want that. I was like, I'm not taking that. So you did. I didn't. No, I just think so many it was so huge dick and I don't profess to want that I didn't I was like I can't I'm not taking that so you did I didn't you didn't know I didn't oh I was just like we couldn't just like bake out. Oh, I was like I don't I've never seen something Like that I don't want to be in pain. Oh, I'm having a sex like fighting the guy dude see how lucky you got How long have you guys been together? 45 years.

Wow, that long. And you're still doing butt stuff maybe. Please. And every woman that we ever onstage or off meet, she's like, what's this dick like? Could you give me some specs on that? Yeah. Every guy, she's like, how's that dick?

Can I tell you what's that? I'm gonna start on a podcast called dick chat and we just I could Would expect a word to say to me the way they change by the day Like they're they have different days their Different sizes by the day. It's good We have good days and bad days too like no girls are like I'm having a good hair day We talk about this heavy dick day light dick day. Yeah, I'm like is that the same dick from last night? It looks to have so different figure. Yeah, his, I'm like, is that the same dick from last time? This thing looks so different. Yeah, bigger. Yeah, his dick changes. The way they grow.

Yeah, the hot day. Here's what I always say too. I always say this to women. If they've ever saw my dick and they thought it was small, I would always, by the way, it gets smaller. Like, I've seen this thing where I'm like, it looks like a toddler's dick. Whenever you go to, from a reason

wherever you walk into like a medical facility, if you're getting a physical, your dick, like just like hides. It hides on top of your balls, and it's like, can anyone see? It's so small. It's so wild. Yeah, it's so wild.

And then there's days where it's just like, you yourself see it, and you're like, well, this thing's like flapping around today. Totally. I love talking about it. Like, who has my boyfriend? Like, what's your dick like today? Yeah, just like just, no.

Or even ballchat. We could do dick talk and then ballchat. I love this idea. Yeah. Do you? I'm I neglect the balls completely. Do you? I love balls. I love balls. I love balls. So I'm saying we could talk about balls and Dixie. You love a fucking bot. He's just gonna take this. I do anything he wants. Okay. I hope you listen to this podcast. I'm here for him. Any any whole you hear that day. any body part. Because balls can range too, much like the diversity of them breathe and they just have a brain, they like move around.

Fucking fascinating. But some guys, I always just ask, do you care about balls or not? Cause I'll get down there, but sometimes guys like a rather, I don't care. I never had a request for it. Never? I'm no one's ever requested.

But you hook it up with chicks, fucking. What do you do with balls? I have, this is so far out of my league. Well, from what I, the only thing that I, well, there's basically three types. I feel like there's people who are like, don't touch my balls. Don't touch at all, okay. Then there's like light, like, light stuff, right?

What's a light, like, time and finger. I mean, anything, like, I just like, I, their sense that they're still enjoying. I like to do like, stress balls. Yeah, I like it. And then there's like, these dudes who like, aggressiveness on their balls, or I'm like, I'm out, that they were still enjoying. I like to do like stress balls. Yeah, I like it. And then there's like these dudes who like, aggressiveness on their balls, or I'm like, I'm out.

That is crazy. I hooked up with one guy. I wanted me to do that. He was on so much code. And he was like, pull harder. He made me cool on them. No, that's fucking it. And I was like, I'm gonna really hard.

To each their own, but that shit isn't, only to me because for me, I'd be like, I'm gonna throw up. Like that's gonna hurt so bad. Didn't he want you to like, put stockings around him? A different guy. I wanted me to tie stockings around his balls and like, really, like, step on them.

This is your dream. Love it. I love these videos. I love these videos where there's these Japanese women. You're the most fucked up right now. Thank you. Thank you. Who is a Brazilian?

Where's she's kicking the guy? No, she was, that was like an Uruguayan accent. She was like, sufri, sufri, sangri, that kind of thing. I could do thatuguayan accent. She was like, souffries, fris, angry, that kind of stuff. I could do that for a living. She was like kicking him and there was blood pouring out and it was not a cheat kind of shot. It was real and she was pulling aggressive, stepping on the wheels.

I'm real excited you guys. But like if I had to make a living and I have kids or whatever, I could do the dominatrix thing, handsome. I could see that. I'm not peeing on them in their mouth. Well you don't have sex with them either. You don't have sex with them. You don't have to, that's part of it.

You don't have to. You tell them keep dreaming. Yeah, that's the best part. And you just kick them in the nuts if they want. Clean my house, pig. P on them. Easy. The pee stuff is crazy.

We had a guest in our podcast, too, she dabbled in that for a little bit. Guys that really want to be peeed on, like drinking a pee, all that stuff. Easy. I got the pee you want the pee, happy pee. Right. Right. Also, every time I got the pee you want the pee happy pee Also every time I take off my underwear at the end of the day

I'm like money money in the trash. I could be selling these. That's another easy money. Why aren't you girls selling your pants? I Listen you could why not two children? So what like where do you do it? I thought about this as foot stuff to them like all sell this stuff'll sell this stuff, but where? Like where are the, you just log in, you create an account in the town? Or create an only fans or something? Yeah, I don't want to go to that road. Why?

It doesn't have to be. She's a very successful soul. No, I know, but I'm saying, but that's the thing. I just think only fans, only fans now though, has like, there's like superstars, who are doing completely non-sexual stuff. I would just do feet stuff.

Easy, easy, easy. She has pretty feet, I have really ugly feet. Your feet are, somebody, your feet are specific. And I feel like there's people out there that really want what you got. See, that's what we discovered on the show. We just said that. Is that there's a guy out there for everything you hate about yourself. You have, yeah.

Some guy thinks it's the hottest thing that's ever happened. That's true. So women were so hard on ourselves. And it's like, don't worry about it. That thing you hate. Some guy is just Jane. Is he so hard to? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wild. They are not sit down, we don't record them and release them. Like they're just a circus. Like we open with, we typically have like an NFL or NBA drumline or cheerleaders and we have like cryo jets and t-shirt cannons and strippers and like insane stuff. It's fucking touching. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. Like we share stuff, we don't share on the podcast, we tell stories and things like that, but it's a lot of audience coming up. We've recently had- They come up on stage.

They come up on stage. And one thing, I'll just say it, because it's like my favorite thing we've been doing. And I like it to be a surprise, but whatever. You know, we're all a family here. So we used a bunch of male strippers, and they would come out. We would do group performances sometimes,

match my style. Sometimes they would dance on rain and whatnot. And I was like, let's try something a little bit different. Let's not do the strippers for the show. And instead, see if people will send their boyfriends and husbands on stage to win vibrators to take back. And I was like, our guy's gonna do this. We were at the Apollo in New York.

I was like, are they gonna come up? And we just tried it and men rush the stage. We've had to send them away. We will get eight to 10 regular dudes. And then we play a song for each of them. I just kind of like, sus them away. We will get eight to 10 regular dudes and then we play a song for each of them. I just like kind of like suss them out. I'm like he's going to be like a pony guy or he's going to be, you know, buttons by puts you. We give them stripper names. They take the clothes off. They dance with each other. He has a fun time. The crowd goes wild for that more than the strippers because you don't see it coming.

There's these like dads up there. They get khakis on. They're just like, woo! Like it's wild stuff. It sounds like, yeah. In the place to be wild. We've talent shows. We had one girl spray breast milk in the crowd. We had some queen funda man. We have pet like singers, dancers. And we do a new show for every city.

So we ask for like audience, we tell them send emails about the crazy shit you have gone out with your friends, your man, your people you're bringing it. And it turns into these just like really insane experiences. It's just tailored to every city. How far is it? That's really wide.

It's really fun. They've just gotten like bigger and better over the years. Where like how can we make this feel like even more like rock star with like the CO2 and the t-shirt cans and all that stuff. Yeah, you're raising, you're raising the value of the ticket. There's production value, there's entertainment. It's fun and it's a good time Well, look we're big fans. Thank you for coming in

So fun having you listen you got to check out girls got to eat podcasts see them on tour They're currently doing the girls got to eat snack city tour and of course you can get yourself a sex toy There's sex toy companies called vibes only is there anything else you want to give you the toys? Of course And we have blowjob job are you are put on me? Do you want me to give you the toys? Of course. Hi. Here we have Blowjob, Joe. Are you blowjob? Do you do blowjob? I mean, I've had him for how many years?

Yeah. No. Like, right, you can really, I mean. I mean, you can always do more. All right, we'll probably bring you guys three things. Thanks, buddy. You, why am I studio? This is the first time we've ever given this to anybody

except for yesterday. What? Another one, podcast on your studio. So that is the Allison. It's a vibrating rabbit and then this is the bug. Thank you. Jesus Christ. That's been waiting for.

And there's an app. If you're long distance to your partner or your partner travels a lot, you can use their remote control long distance. Let's do that one, babe. Let's do that one, babe. And we brought you a blow job. Gel blow gel pumpkin spice flavor ice for fall. Maybe you can send a gallon of that to the babe. I want to do that one, babe. And we brought you a blow job, gel blow gel pumpkin spice flavor ice for fall.

Maybe you can send a gallon of that to the house. That'd be nice. You could do that in your asshole too. Yeah, sure. Uh-huh. Maybe make it taste better. Pumpkin spice. Stop with the excuse.

Ooh. It is safe for, it's all the safe, safe for all. This is a nice package. Yeah, it's really nice. Here, mommy, you show me that. I do. So it's just really safe safe for all this nice packaging Yeah, I like nice here mommy. You show me I just Really nice Oh

That's beautiful. That's a nicey look at that. There you go right in your asshole time And then I can focus and I can clean my house One in the pink one in the stink Yeah, oh Moment This is really good. It's put a moment. This is really good. This is really high quality, nice and soft. We spent a year perfecting it.

We love it. Yeah, whatever you guys want to do with it. You're the first person to get this. I'm not even you. Thanks. Is this to put on your keychain so you can carry it with you? There you go. Pick it up the kids at school.

I could see myself being hyper focused when this is in and then you're like, hmm, when it comes out. Yeah, that's not as big as I thought, but plug. We purposely made it a little smaller. It's accessible. For girls. For girls. So literally this one goes in your B hole

and this one goes in your mouth. No, that's the, it's the clip. I just don't know that's for your clip. Whatever you want to do though. No, judgment. The top is for the clip. You have many years or take her to figure that out. It would be like 10 years from now.

She's like, I'm putting this in my ass. I'm sweating. I probably would have gone over it. I really would have been. Tom, this one goes in my ass. I'm not really enjoying. My God, what is wrong with me? By the way.

The shaft goes inside of your vagina and then- Be fair. I'm bigger than this. Much bigger. No, no, this is bullshit This is come on compared to you Tom. All right, please. You're never gonna feel that no pussy so loose This will fit my pussy up fall right out All right, I really thought I got panic. I did I saw it. That was like, how am I going to fit that one in my right?

It's not a strap on. It's not a strap on shit. Yeah, it's all real. Thank you guys for coming. Thank you guys. See you again soon. All right, bye guys. Thank you. Bye. Guys baby, rub it up and down Rub it up and down Rub it up and down Grab my hands on your hands Rub it up and down Rub it up and down Kiss your neck here, you're two girls Kiss my neck girl, think I'm think I'm think I'm girl Check it off baby

Kiss my neck girl, think I'm think I'm think I'm girl Check it off baby, there's nothing wrong with me when you're girl So I'm trying to sweat girl, just my just my neck girl Think I'm pink, pink girl Check it all baby, there's nothing while you're being born a girl This part of life, everyone's different, everyone's different Check it all baby baby baby baby baby