Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Dissed By George Lopez w/ Ralph Barbosa | Your Mom's House Ep. 736

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

PULL YOUR JEANS UP! It’s another episode of YMH and this week Tom Segura and Christina P are feeling the effects of Thanksgiving, they also talk about a horrible Uber driver, the upcoming special ��69 Minutes”, an Enny’s dreads update. They also check out some clips featuring a fun mispronunciation of Daniel Ricciardo, a col chiropractor, an even cooler guy in Columbia, and a Hellcat lady, before interpreting the meaning behind a philosophical question proposed by Rob Iler. Comedian Ralph Barbosa joins in and talks about his Netflix special, attracting goth girls, and making peace with the infamous beef with George Lopez. Christina shows Ralph some TikToks and the trio react to some clips regarding butt stuff, and they get Ralphs take on some prison inmate penpal videos. https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinaponline.com/tour-dates https://store.ymhstudios.com/ https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

This week on YMH. Have you ever been with a gothic? Yeah. We got along really well. I think this girl's cool. Her clothes are just so weird. She look like a pirate. You know how many motherfuckers call me Christine?

For 20 years. People that I'm really good friends with call me Christine. Some of the Latin comics were like, just so you know, man. In Mexico, Mito, Novali, Mierda. They don't fucking give a shit about that. Welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house. SOTVA luxury mattress company. I have been a huge fan of SOTVA for 15 years. Way back when we wanted a brand new mattress but didn't have a lot of money. And I found this company, SOTVA, and I actually reached out to them and said, look, I like your mattress so much. Would you please let us talk about you on our podcast. That's how much I believe in this company. We've had a very long relationship with them because if the quality is undeniable, you can get a huge mattress for the fraction of the cost and the quality is outstanding. We currently sleep on the salar,

which lights up. It vibrates. You can go up. You can go down. It's just fantastic. I've had friends buy the luxury firm and the Lumen Leaf, which is outstanding. Sootfoot.com slash the shit for $200 off your next purchase. Again, sootfoot.com slash the shit for $200 off. Tell them we sent you, tell them we love you because we love Sootfoot and they're just the best. So go ahead. Get your mattress right now right now. Oh. Oh!

Oh my gosh. Welcome to another episode of My Gush. She lives in my spirit, though, my gosh lady. She's great. It's so layered, because on the one hand, it's just a great fart. And on the other hand, it's her like, oh my gosh, did I do that?

Is that cool? Was that me? Yeah. And that's some dudes like, that's her like, oh my gosh, did I do that? Is that cool? Was that me? Yeah. And that's some dudes like, that's what gets them going, you know? That's the best part about it. It's like, oh God. I wish you would start to get into my fart sexuality. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Like the way the breath, oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's like, you know, a titty slipped out. Oh my gosh. Is that how I didn't cover up? That's the way you should just said that.

Well, you know what's fun is that, well, sometimes when I afford around the house, I do that for you. I go, oh my gosh. But you don't seem to be aroused. Yeah, that's different. I really wish you would. Okay. Yep.

You think you can work on that? I will work on it. I guess wish you would. Okay. Yep. Do you think you can work on that? I will work on it. I have been eating so much Korean food and the sodium is just bloated in my face. I made a suundobu from TikTok. I've been eating it every day for like two weeks now. Very exciting.

Very exciting. Very exciting. Happy Thanksgiving, Mike. Oh, I... I unfortunately had to spend it with family. I hope you guys had a good one. I am excited to, I'm getting real bricked up over. Oh, that's the term I use.

Interesting. What's the term you use? Bricked up. What are you saying? This would depeche mode gets me going. Are you trying to say that you coined that phrase? I set it on the show first and I'm fine. You definitely did not.

It's been said way before you set it. Not on your mom's house. Yes it has. Who says break that book? Bro, you want to look it up? Look it up. Okay. Okay, what are you saying though?

So will you time out? That 69 minutes is coming to... Oh, that's exciting. Six then minutes is coming to YMH Studios. And the pre-sale starts... Is it starting next week? Does it summer first? Okay, in a couple days.

Oh, yeah. This has stobbies in it. Stobros. Mateo Lane, Ryan Sickler. Joe List. Yes. Are you garbage boys? H. Foley, Kevin Ryan,

and Kerson? Jessica Kerson. Yeah, it's loaded. It's fully packed up with unbelievable talent. It's super fun. We've never put anything out like this and it's going to be going on a pretty sale in a couple of days. So look out for it and we're super jazzed. That being said, let's play the opening clip. Let's get the show started.

Ready? It's on the title. I like it. Okay, here we go. Please let's give a big round of applause and welcome back. A time Grand Prix winner and one of the friendliest drivers in the F1 Greeth, Daniel Rechardt, drivers in the F1 Greeth Daniel Rechartel, or a cult Red Bull Racing. Mom, you sicker. Christina Pajitsu. Christina Pajitsu. Welcome to your mom's house. Daniel Ritardo. Daniel Ritardo Daniel. Face is too happy. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, Danielle retardle. It's amazing.

I'm not retarded. She knew she was doing it. Can I tell you something? The irony is that she sounds like she has an Italian accent and his last name is Italian. Oh. You know, like, she's like, welcome to the Oracle Daniel Retardo, but she should know how to say Ricardo because it's his Italian. Yeah. Danielle retardle. He's so sweet say Ricardo because it's Italian.

Yeah. Danielle Rittardo. He's so sweet, too. You're using the Alvar. You didn't even react. He was just so sweet like a man. He's a pro. He was like, that's the old man.

Danny R. Word. We should sell jerseys for him. Do they have driver Formula 1 jerseys you can sell? Yeah, they're shirts like the ones with Rittardo. With Rittardo on it. Yeah. YMH supports Daniel retardo? Yeah Fully retarded. Yeah, fully retarded. It's pretty great. That's a great that band. Look at him so sweet

I can't wait to send that to him be like I didn't know you had to say your last name I I say you last name. I recarred all. I'm the grand circuit. Yeah. Eginald. Yes, sir. We were discussing, why don't you have dreads?

Aren't you supposed to have dreads right now? Yeah, that was kind of a whole process, right? Yeah, I mean, I really what happened as soon as it came up, you know, we were looking at the right venues and the whole process. Yeah, I don't know. I just, again, when I came up with it, it was more of like a funny thing, like, oh, what if, you know, but again, I kind of went into that, assuming that I was not going to win that game.

So I still kind of blew my mind at that happen. But once I was faced with the reality of it, I mean, yeah, I just, I don't want threads. I don't want hair. It's fine. You're rocking the dome right now, like me. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I think, you know, 10 years ago me, I probably would have really, really been into this, and not even tempted by looking to your right and seeing Zellos full, sweet head of hair.

I mean, listen, I want the curls, bro. The curls of the curls back. That is what my hair would look like, too. That's the craziest thing. Like, if it could look up, that's what the curls, that's what it gets to. I'm moving to this, because I have a hair. Join me.

But now, yeah, I'm moving to this. Because I enjoy me. But now, yeah, I don't, it was fun to have as an accessory, you know, growing up and whatever, but I just don't, I actually don't. I hear you. That's fair to say. You just, you don't want the thing that you thought you wanted and that happens. Yeah, that's normal.

I think that's normal. Yeah. So, but I was thinking, I don't know if this is something you'd be interested in, but you told me how much that was going to be spent on that, which was a lot. My thought was, what if we put that money instead into something that could be a little more fun and a little more, I don't know, including everybody here,

which is, I mean, you mess with me with that hot sauce for a long time. What if we put that money in as some seed money, and we actually tried to make a hot sauce together? Like a YMH exclusive hot sauce? Like an actual, the best hot sauce is the best hot sauce. Hot sauce is the best hot sauce. Hot sauce is the best.

Yeah, one. Six is the best. Yeah, that one next. Okay, so you're saying, yeah, we develop our own hot sauce. I mean, yeah, like I've looked into the, you know, kind of the logistics of how it can work. And it's actually not a huge barrier to the biggest thing would be money to invest.

And I don't have that, but if I was given that money for that hair transplant instead, I mean, that's probably where I would put it. Okay, that sounds pretty cool. We could develop, what do you think of, we we have to move with the name? I mean, the name, I mean, it has to be the best. The best.

It's got to be the best. Oh, yeah, that's pretty funny. The best hot sauce? The best. Just the best. The best, not the best. Not any black hot sauce. You know, there was one of the potentials,

but yeah, it didn't make it, I think the best. I think the best. I'm just trying to think of marketing You don't think that's a good idea How about black and he's hot sauce But he's mixed met any's mixed hot sauce mixed the mix how about black and white hot sauce black and white He's Filipino. Yeah, I got some Filipino in there. Black to the two convoluted, it's too big. Okay, the best. The best.

I like the best. But I don't know, I'm floating it. I'm floating it. I don't know if it's something you guys would be interested in doing, but. No, I like the idea. I do like it. And it's also like taking,

what would it just been? I mean, it's a, you know, what's it, a cosmetic thing. And now instead of changing it into like a business idea, which is kind of cool. I think it's fun. Yeah, I mean, I would just hate to have it end there, you know? Sure. Cause I do.

It's like, ah, you know, no hair, it's kind of not really the thing, but to have it in there is kind of, I don't know, it's kind of boring, you know? So I like it. I'd love to keep it going. Okay. That sounds exciting. Let's take the next steps then.

I'm down. And also, you are a connoisseur of hot sauce. That's true. Very interesting to see. I would like to see what you just determine is the best. Oh yeah. I'm down to go through it. Because I mean, you're going to have to go to like a huge tasting thing, right?

Where you go. Oh, that'd be fun to watch. Yeah. Yeah, we work with a co-packer and I imagine, yeah, they'll give us kind of different. I'll probably lead them in terms of the taste of it, but yeah, then we kind of keep picking and getting to the right one. I'm down, dude. I'm down.

Let's do it. Very cool. Very cool. Any. You really need to take a shit. I know you're black and you guys do your own thing, but you still have to shut. Hey, one's less time. You take a shit.

I'm pretty sure this morning. Mm-hmm. Do you want this morning? Yeah. Mm-hmm. I'm pretty sure this morning. Mm-hmm. I'm pretty sure this morning. Mm-hmm. Are you regular now? I mean, pretty much, like, after the basketball thing, that really changed you. Yeah, because I was eating, I mean,

I'm not going to say I was eating right, but I was definitely eating, you know, something other than pizza and fucking chicken wings every single day, so it was, it kind of forced it, you know, I wasn't gonna be able to do my usual thing. Yeah. So kind of just, I don't know, came to terms with that.

I mean, I just realized it was just a habit growing up. It was a habit. For so long, I just kind of needed to. Can I tell you, I thought of you because I was very constipated and I didn't shift for like two weeks. I've heard this. And the amount of Kaka, it was like a basketball in me.

And then I took two laxatives. I went to sleep and I didn't do shit, bro. So I woke up in the morning and I took two more laxatives. That's four laxatives in the span of like 10 hours. And then my dumbass, I was like, fuck it. Nothing's happening. I'm just gonna walk around medicine. I was in medicine just constant. And then the fury hit me. And I was like, fuck. And of course, like none of these fools let you just shit. You have to like buy something. Of course, you're like, oh, buy the fucking store.

Yeah. It's got, it was wild how much came out of me. So you must be like, that was your constant. That was pretty normal. Yeah, like, I mean, I'm actually surprised that you're saying four laxatives. I mean, it's a good day for that to have. Uh-huh.

That's how backed up I was. But don't you get constipated when you weren't shitting? Like I feel like, because I was holding in. You're technically are. Yeah, isn't that kind of the definition of? Yeah, so then how did you make a friend? How did you make a friend?

Yeah. What, how did I make it happen? Yeah. I mean, your body just told you we really have to do it now. Basically, yeah, we just be a big stall until I was like, all right, I guess it's time, we'll go in there and make this shit happen. But it was like annoying.

That's really what it was, it was just annoying. It was an annoyance to me, it's so annoying. And it's so heavy, I was trying to exercise, I was like, I just wanna die. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't move. Yeah, I mean, well, I'm all skin and bone, so I can handle one, two more pounds. I'm not gonna do that.

That was the biggest one. Took a shit like, what was that? It was like six months ago, I weighed it. It was like six pounds. Dude, I'm not playing. I'm not playing. Six pounds. Six pounds.

Dude, I feel like your shit could beat that though. Like, you're daily? Mm-mm. I mean, those six pounders. Do you weigh yourself before and after? I have, but it's never that significant. What is it, two or three? No, nothing like that.

Like fractions of a pound. Workouts, sweat, water. Lots of pounds. You get dehydrated. Yeah, you can lose like, hatred. Eight, nine pounds, no workout. Definitely. Or just when you sleep overnight, you wake up dehydrated.

You do, yeah. It's way yourself. It's true, it's true, yeah. Dehavd, treat it. Here, I got an update for you. Sure. Guys, I went up a few drinks and it's pretty nice. Columbia, New York, look at that pot.

What? Guys, I love the light here, man. This is such great life. School America. Yeah, you get a man. It's such great life. School America. Yeah, you get hookers. Look at those teeth. You got no hookers. Those teeth, that's something.

It's like he doesn't know that prostitutes exist in America. No, you don't have to leave. You know, it's like you can go to Vegas. They told me that with the views of the girls, I'm never going to do a real girl. So I decided to man up and do the right thing Man up So I got two So hot he's so cool Tom such a good time down here Colombia

Did you think he had his teeth done in Colombia too? I got them down here the first week baby such a great price Ziggy had his teeth done in Columbia too. I got them died in the first week baby, such a great price. I'm so nervous. I met so many senior readers that week. Ha ha ha ha. So hot, Tom. I never would have go back to the States. So much.

Can you see yourself doing this? Yeah, this is awesome. The only thing that I wouldn't do is start a fucking TikTok channel about it. No. Just go do your thing, man. Yeah. Just don't. The only thing that I wouldn't do is start a fucking TikTok channel about it. No. Just go do your thing, man. Yeah. Just have to broadcast it.

I know. That's why you're getting lit up. It's because why are you broadcasting? I know. If you like, hug her. It's fine. Anybody can do drugs, do, hose, do whatever you want. Why are you announcing it?

I don't know. I just tried to let guys know. You don't have to be sad back home. Come down to Columbia. So it's for educational purposes. He's helping other guys get laid That's what he thinks it's really weird. It's strange. It's a Yeah, it's a close he's doing it like somebody who has like a car collection page He's like oh check out I got they got this new 1968 And you know beamer. I've always want like that's how he's talking about hose and Columbia. It's like you don't have to share your your collection you can

keep it to yourself man. Oh my god. You know what listen to these success stories yeah with men and women how the woman stood behind them yeah and they made it through the rain that's great that's one and a million. God bless. Oh, he's hurt. Yeah, but the bottom line is The ways turned out today for younger people You know if you treat a woman Like shit, she stays the minute you submit and give into her She wants more. Yeah. So, this is why I don't give a shit.

And I never will. I care about me, myself, and my money, and my daughter, and my grandkids. Which makes sense. Yeah, so this is really the root of all this. When I go, why are you broadcasting it? It's because of this. Yeah, this guy's really somebody fucked him up. Fucked him up. Yeah. He's got a next wife that took half a shit He's really hurt. He's really upset about it We got this teeth and he went to Columbia and then gone the tea got the teeth worked out and went to Columbia Especially when people sell that line the like the minute you treat him well Yeah, just ask for more take advantage of you. Yeah, it's the Tom Lake is thing Especially when people sell that line, the minute you treat them well. Just ask for more, take advantage of you.

Yeah, it's the ton-likeest thing. It's the dump of that bitch. I don't spend a dime on these pigs. Yeah, that's a good. But there's such a solid audience for that. Like, there's a whole crop of hurt men out there that are like, just die and eat this, just die for this.

Well, yeah, this is reinforcing, because there's this whole thing, if you ever read like comments, where it'll be like, this is what happens guys. Like I put her through school as a reporter, and then she left me for, and then that guy stays that hurt guy forever. That's how he lives the rest of his life.

Yeah. We've known a few of those poor gents. They get, people are so fragile. Yeah, they are so fragile. It's normal to be fragile. No, it's from saying is that, but that's why it's like, it's so, gosh, you just think how lucky you are

if you do meet the right person that doesn't absolutely destroy you in your 20s or your 30s. You know, God damn dude. Yeah, I mean this guy, he's really beat up over this. This is all about like one woman. Definitely. This is all about one woman man.

Fucking Debbie. Could be a Debbie. It could be she fucked him up. She's the reason he is tearing up fucking Bogota Debbie. That's seriously it. He's getting AIDS and Bogota because she's Bogota. Debbie, that's seriously it. He's getting AIDS and Bogota because he's... And maybe like she got a good chunk of change

and he was like, Fuckin'. That probably is also the reason, honestly, while you, if you worked, I'm assuming this guy probably had a pretty good job, had a chunk of change, and then you part with half of it, and you go, well, my lifestyle that I was used to is gonna suck For him now especially because you like you're already like 50

He's like I don't want to go down to that lifestyle. What I'll do is I'll just change the location. It's smart You know it's not a bad idea. Yeah, it's really not I mean the only thing that I would worry about is healthcare the older you get yeah If you go to a Good pussy cares everything baby. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, he's 20 years old in me. And he's so horny. What is that? Do you think that that is a real, is that part of it? Like what is the heart or is it easy? Both.

It's everything. Some of it is wiring. Some of it is compensating for how the whole that's left by the emptiness from being hurt by fucking Debbie that content. And then some of it is that he's got T-Course in through his veins, baby. You got to put it somewhere. Here, let's laugh. Let's have some funny play. It's dark.

Oh my gosh. It's the Muslim edition.. He's like stay there. That's not. That's not. Oh my gosh. That's this shit. Oh, fuck. Stop crying. That is not. How to do that?

Well, he's definitely going to be different. He's going to do that. Well, he's definitely gonna be different. He's gonna be trained. He's gonna have to do that for sure. He's like shut up bitch. I'm not gonna. He's like shut up shut up. Inshallah. Inshallah. God. No. Like that

Just beat the pain away Inshallah inshallah did you hear him if I can say that? Yeah. He's like, it's fine. This is what God wants. God wants you back. Ah! That's what you want your doctor to say. Yeah, you definitely like it. Inshallah, it's what God wants. It's what God asks.

God is protecting your spinal cord right now. Ah, good. Woo! That's gnarly. That's pretty cool. Oh my God. Okay. Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I had this thing happen to me. I do ever have Ketalk too for a second. Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I had this thing happen to me. I never have like you're in a car like with an Uber driver and then like the minute I got into the car. Yeah. This man was, I could tell he was lonely and sad.

And so he was telling me about an open wound on his body. And he decided to go bath and a lake. And the wound surprised, got infected. No, really? In the lake? And he was in the hospital. With an infection? Yeah, for a long time.

And then I was like, okay, well, I listened to that. He regaled me with that, and I just been on two different planes. Like, I was kind of ready to go check into my hotel. Yeah. And then I was like, okay, well, we're done with that. And then he keeps regaling me with more tails of whoa. And then he gives me like the tour of the nut.

And that's where the farmer's market's gonna be. And I gotta tell you, I never get excited about a farmer's market. I could give two fucks about buying cucumbers on a Saturday. I don't fucking care. So, and then, are you listening? Yeah, I'm listening.

It gets way worse. So then he's chitty chatting so much that I start, I think I? Yeah, I'm listening. It gets way worse. So, then he's chitty chatting so much that I start, I think I call you or I'm texting you. And then he's chitty chatting so much, he misses the hotel. And that's when I lost my shit inside. Oh, okay. No, inside I was like, this guy, this fucking con,

just robbed me of my mental space. You go, you have your infection in your eyes, you missed a fucking turn. Fucking stupid. Fatso, and then I got so angry though. But is that normal that I got so angry? Like I felt so robbed. Like he took my time and then he took my entire time.

Yeah, and you can think it and feel it and even tweet it, but you just can't get up to go. So it's really fun. Yeah, you can tweet it, cut stupid fucking driver. Oh, and then the worst part is I got him again on the way to the airport, and that's why I called you from the car.

I was like, hey babe, and when I talk, I'm gonna talk, I don't wanna talk. Cause I can't tell the guy, hey I don't wanna talk to you, you can't do that, right? Well, I just always, I get picked up with headphones on. You don't do that? I do that with over ear. Shit man, I forgot. Yeah, I have them on, so when they're like, good morning, I just always, I get picked up with headphones on. You don't do that. I do that with over ear. Shit, man, I forgot.

Yeah, I have them on, so when they're like, good morning, I'm like, what's that? Oh, good morning. And then I'm like, I forgot about that. Yeah, I just sit there with my fuck. And then sometimes I'll go, yeah, yeah. But it felt like I was assaulted, you know? Yeah, it's horrible.

It's an assault. Like they took something from me. Some people took from her. Personality isn't assault. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there are vampires. They drain you of your life force.

They're not givers, they're takers. It's true. It's an emotional vampire. He's Colin Robinson from what we do in the shadows. That's absolutely. Oh. Same thing. Dear Missouri.

And Indigo, Skycasino, a hellcat is coming. Same thing. Same thing. Dear Missouri! And Indigo, Skycasino, a Hellcat is coming your way. Just know that. I like to hide. Cool. That's a lot of personality. I thought she was like a comic advertising. I actually thought it looked like somebody I... You've worked. Yeah.

Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if she's at stage time under. So she's just announcing that she's gonna fuck up your time at the casino with you. That feels like it. She's gonna be the drunk person. Unless she's a Dodge rep who's saying the new Hellcats coming to the casino and I'm gonna deliver it. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. She's a lot. This is so lame, dude. Totally terrible. So lame. Terrible. What was Rob's, what am I seeing here with the Giz question?

What is it? Can you, can you phrase the question properly? Oh, I have it in a text. So this is Rob Eiler. This is what Rob and I text to each other. And here's the thing, at first when I read it, I dismissed it. And then of course, it fucking stuck with me.

And I was like, now I have to figure this shit out philosophically, okay? Mm-hmm. I don't know if you've ever discussed this before, but if you jerk someone off, who made the come? Now, I think what he's trying to say is who caused the come? Is it the one who jerks the person off, or does it originate in the person who's being jerked off, meaning like who's right? Who's the cause, the cause or of the come? Is it you or the source from which?

It's usually the person touching the dick that is causing the come. They're causing they made the come. Did they make the come? Well, they didn't make the come, they made the come come out. So they're the cause of the come? Yeah, what is this? Exactly. They made the come.

Well, it's like I mean, think about it. But if you weren't there, it would never have been made. It's like pizza. The ingredients don't make the pizza. The, it's like I mean, think about it. But if you weren't there, it would never have been made. It's like pizza. The ingredients don't make the pizza. The person making it does. This is what Rob was saying to me. If not, and then I wrote back, I see what you're saying.

If not for the stimulator, there would be no calm. Wow, that's deep, bro. I mean, don't you think about it? It's a very thought-provoking question. I don't think it is. I'm still, I mean, whoever touches the dick is caused, like, I think you're wrong. So the person blows a guy, a woman blows a guy,

and the guy comes, you're like, no, the guy who's receiving, he made it come, that's your thought. Well, it all depends on, what's the origin of the come? What origin's always in the balls and the prostate? Okay. So that's where come lives. So what, but there's two different questions.

There's a cause. How is this shit? What are you talking about? It was a thing you're talking about. This is what I wrote back to him. Now, this is a few minutes later, I'm like, wow, now I'm thinking about your question. It would hinge on when a man produces gizz. Is it produced on demand?

Or is it produced then stored for later? If it's the former, then indeed one giving the hand job can cause the come. If it's the latter, then the hand job giver is merely the usher of said come. Is come produced on demand? You have a philosophy degree. This is what I'm using it for. But that's what I'm saying. Is Jiz produced on demand? No.

So then therefore the person giving the hand job is just the usher of the car. Yeah, the ushering to come out. That is true. Sure. So thought provoking question. It is not a thought provoking question. If someone jizzes in the forest and nobody's, see it.

Doesn't even count. Okay. Well, you asked, you wanted to know. Yeah, I was, I was really thinking I would be hearing something a little more thoughtful than that. This is what Robin, I like to talk about. Unbelievable. I thought about this for days.

It's days after he took me, I was like, this is very thoughtful. I think about this for days. Have you and Lisa had sex? Yes, we did. And we both enjoyed it for so long at a life-changing sex. I don't like it, I know. And this is very entertaining.

I was a bit nervous for the first time, but not anymore. We both love it. But some things in the bedroom have taken Braden and Lisa by surprise. Yeah, just like my mom comes in and almost see us having sex in my room. First of all, is it legal for two?

Legal? Hear me out? They're both of diminished mental capacity. They're childlike in nature. Is it is it responsible as a society if we're like? What are you supposed to do arrest them? No way worse or what? Snips sterilization what?

I mean what there is. It's a big... Yeah, that's why I like to do that. I'm private, not in public. That's what. Tip of the day. Don't let the parents come in the bedroom. I want to say, exploring us together is like a love intimacy as well and also it's really

changing up my heart and it's really really good with my guy here. And they have Australian accents on top of which is really kind of different right you don't get to hear that I didn't like that clip. I don't I'd prefer not to Yeah, yeah, can I can I be honest with you? Can can you look at me? Yeah, I watch a show called sex education leave that up. Yeah, with Connor Swindles is in it. He's a huge fan of the show. Hello Connor and We met him in London. Yeah, he's the best. He's on the show and he's also in the barb and we's very very famous actor Any hotels there's the show sex education and in season three I'm watching Maeve who's my favorite

She's the goth queen of the show. She's having an intimate physical relationship with a guy who's paralyzed from like the chest down. Different. That's okay. And it's so hard for me as a normie to like what? To wrap my head around an intimate scene between, hold on, let me say it the way white people do. Like normal people do. It makes me very uncomfortable to watch a scene like that. It made me uncomfortable. But I also like to think why? Why did it make me uncomfortable? Well, I'm all for watching paralyzed people discuss and have sex. Have you watched it, though? Have you tried seeing it? No. I mean, I saw that documentary that had all the paralyzed athletes and they talked about

their sex life and you're like, oh, wow, because you don't consider it and then you're like, oh, this makes sense. And you know, I'm always for the bros getting laid. I mean, I definitely am cheering on all of them. But I just feel like, yeah, I think when I see people with diminished capacities discuss their sex life, I'm like, ugh, like, is, you feel like,

like almost like this isn't right. Even though it makes sense, like when you have, when you fully discuss it, you're like, yeah, of course, through adults and their relationship, I understand that intellectually, it just is like, it feels like you're supposed to intervene and go like, guys, no, right?

I know. It's the same sentiment, I know. Because they're not, because I'll tell you why, because you look at them and you're like, they cannot handle the repercussions of sex. Well, here's an interesting note. It says that if a Down syndrome couple were to fall pregnant, they have a 50-50, the chance of a child of having a child with Down syndrome. The doctor said that on the data on the neurodown syndrome children born from parents who have

the condition was slim. But that means, doesn't that mean 50-50 that not having Down syndrome? Yeah. So that's 50 that they won't have? Because it's a chromosomal anomaly, it's a rotation. Yeah, but that's kind of be fascinating to have two parents with Down syndrome. And you're just like, guys, fucking get it together. Like you're, you know, like you're the kid.

Just like, I said, use something. I smell. Enough with the treats. We gotta have some fucking, you know? You know what I smell? Protein, have some vegetables in the house. A YMH Studios sitcom in the making. My silly parents. My silly parents.

My silly parents. My goofy folks. Somebody's laughing in the booth. Smart Chad, he likes it, he's an intellectual. That one's I like, it was funny. That's a really good premise for a film or a sitcom. Could you call it 21 minus one? No. I heard it laugh.

Oh! Right? That's a good movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good show. Try and send me 21. Try, that's a good movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, try and send me 21 try like a play on no Could you imagine though if you're I think mine were

I'm not convinced I'm not. I'm not convinced. I mean, my mom's still here. There's no full report on her yet. By the way, I felt this way when I did it. Yeah. And we have just so you know, in when 60 by minutes has a thing with my mom that I think is even funnier than the helicopter video.

But for those of you that haven't seen it, there's a video on my YouTube page where I took her up in a helicopter on her 79th birthday and I planned with the instructor to do like wild stunts and just surprise her with it. And it went exactly as planned. And I don't think I've laughed harder until we did the thing for 69 minutes. But I've had so many people tell me that they're like, this is the funny thing I've ever seen. Like, because we have it, we had gopros. So we have heard screaming and praying and and she was like hitting the pilot.

And then I can't even see her, but I can hear her screaming, and I'm laughing so hard, I have tears come down my face. It really was exactly what I dreamed of. Yeah, it was very funny. Her reactions were just so, it's so scary. Yeah.

She was terrified. Terrified. Terrified. I'm surprised she lived through it. She's very frail too. I mean, you have to understand, we took it to like, we're at like 1200 feet. And when I, and then when I look at him,

and he's just like, I'll take over, he just puts us into a straight nose dive, like just fucking it, right? And then pulls up at the last second, then flies sideways. No, I don't. In a ravine. She's like,

ah! She's like, she's praying to Jesus. She, I heard her at one point, she goes, think about your father. Oh my God. She's like, she's like, she's like, she's praying to Jesus.

She, I heard her at one point. She goes, think about your father. She's like, she's like, she's praying to Jesus. She, I heard her at one point. She goes, think about your father. She's like, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would, he would stuff he would in front of her, he'd be like, telling you, yeah. But like, if I was like, isn't this funny to watch? He'd be like, yeah, that's pretty good. And it was pretty funny. Pretty great.

She's very, very, very freaked out. That's very, very scary. That's very scary. Funny to watch someone that's here. It's amazing to watch. Okay, very excited for our guest. Why don't we take a quick break and we'll be right back.

And we are back and welcoming for the first time, our guest who has a new special streaming right now on Netflix. You can see it. It's called Kawabanga. Give it up for Ralph, Barbose everybody. Let him hear it. Bam, bam, bam, bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.

Dude, congratulations. Thank you. Where did you shoot? Dallas, Texas. Oh, that's like, that's home. Yeah, that's home. That's home. Yeah, that's home. That's right. I wanted to shoot in like Chicago or Denver or something,

but there's so much family that wanted to go out. I was just like, well, I just do this first one in Dallas. Yeah. And then I'll never do it in Dallas ever again. Why? Yeah. Too much drama. It's too much.

Family, people in your family don't understand that like it is a stress to have you guys at the show It is and then they go how and you're like because it's just your presence is a stress I've told them since the beginning I do this for the strangers. Yeah, exactly. Yeah Also, I don't need your support. You know what I mean? Like I feel like I Don't need your support. I mean anybody's support. I would I wish I had it. Sorry. I should I know that I was never gonna get it. So I was like, that's cool.

I just wanna be alone, I can do this by myself. Because I think to be successful, you do have to be like, I'm self-motivated, I'm a self-driven engine. Yeah, I don't need my mommy and daddy. Yeah, also, stop texting me about what time to show starts and parking, and if there's food and blah, blah, blah. Or I'll even have this thing now where I'm like,

if there's like insisting, right? Incessiting that we like fine, fine. And I try to put the, you know, coordinating on somebody out, I'm like, talk to this guy, like he'll sort you out. And then I have to go like, by the way, I don't wanna see you before the show. Oh my the show like I don't see me after the show. Yeah Yeah, I still find somebody back. I'm like what are you doing here? Oh, I just wanted to come back and I'm like I just I just want Like calm. Yeah, yeah Netflix had this like photographer guy out there. He was like super nice and stuff

but it was kind of like I Mean because I was just so nervous when we were sitting in the back in the green room. I like it here was just like the clicking of the camera. And I was just like, hey man, you think you could just like time out for the sake, like no pictures, just just, oh, just give me a break.

Yeah, like, I don't know. I like how you were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then that's the only thing you can hear. Yeah, I don't even know if I said the jokes right, I like how you're like, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, t Sure. So did you get faded before you shot? No, no. No, you had to go into that, so great. Yeah, for sure. Did you tape two?

Tape two, yeah. One night. And how it, was it like the usual thing is, you get the first one done and then the second one is what you mostly use, did you have that or no? No, man, the first one was like pretty good. That was like the bones of it, the second one, the bad. Really, I did like two shows a night

for like four nights leading up to the taping night. And like every show was awesome up until taping night. Also like the worst two shows. Yeah, it's always like that. Tell me how it goes. My first one was such a bummer.

It was such a bummer, dude. My first, like no one recognizes it that much, but when we went to Minneapolis and I didn't have a name that could sell me tickets, so they're just like going up to people, like, do you wanna go see a comedy show? Like, they're like barking on the street, offering people free tickets to a comedy specialist,

and then it's at, we taped it at a place where then only the symphony plays. plays so there you get like a more had like a more Sophisticated like oh this will be like you know, I guess a high brow thinker And then I'm up there like and I'm coming off of a hundred shows where I'm like this thing is just like Hidden and you can I mean I think if you watch it through that lens, you go like, oh, this crowd's not like a hot crowd. It's just, they're just like, kind of going along with it.

But I remember getting off, I was like, that's fucking terrible. It was such a letdown of a reaction. I was used to like, pop by the crowd. Yeah, I get you, man. Yeah, it's like, I don't know. I've been getting some pretty good positive feedback. Yeah, it's great.

A lot of illuminati comments. What? What do you mean? I put it, I don't know, I didn't think about it like this, but let's say it told me I could like design the stage and I was like, man, I want checkered board flooring because the, it's like a really small theater where we taped it at and it's right across the street

from the barber shop that I like grew up getting my hair cut set and I worked there for like a really small theater where we taped it at. And it's right across the street from the barber shop that I grew up getting my hair cut set. And I worked there for like a long time, I was a barber. And so, I don't know, check-al-board floors remind me of like old-school barber shop. Yeah, totally. So I put check-al-board flooring to kind of like pay homage to the shop.

And then I did the red lights on the curtain, because I don't know, it just popped, you know what I mean? Yeah. I also kinda reminded me of like Super Mario. It's a cool stage design. Yeah. It looks good. And apparently checkered board flooring and like red is associated with like the devil and like the illuminati.

Oh, cool. Even better. But I don't know what people are like. Like I see the signals you can't hide it from me. I've never hit it. I've always told people, I am the illuminati. I've never hit it. I've always told people, I am the Illuminati. Like, yeah dude, this is, it's super solid. How long did you like, did you tour with this before you shot? Just like a year.

A year? Yeah, about a year, something like that. Maybe, maybe 10 minutes of it, maybe not even was like pretty new. I kind of regret putting it in there. maybe not even was pretty new. I kind of regret putting it in there. I wish I was kidding. That's how it goes. But you gotta have a regret.

And we do it special. You have to. But like other comics that I talked to were like, nah, just put it in, just whatever, whatever's like the funniest stuff that you think is the funniest you throw it in there. It's like this, dude. If you didn't put that in, you'd be like,

man, I should have put that in there because it's gonna be dated by whatever by the next time So you just always having regret means you actually care about it. It's a good thing nice you're 27 So how long did you when did you start doing stand-up? Oh? I think I did my first mic when I was like 18 or just 19 I'm like that. I wish I would have that kind of fourth thought and then you go all in pretty much or no, no, no, no I did it like a I cut on your yeah, I did it like a pussy like yeah, I did a mic

I had where they gave me three minutes. I did like a minute and a half yeah, I got yelled at I got scared I was just like I was my time fucking took off and I Didn't go back to it till like I I don't know, five months later. Okay, yeah. That's kind of the normal way to start. Yeah, then I did another mic, then I did it like another four months after that, and then I just kind of kept going back.

And eventually, I just kept doing it. I stopped doing the like. So I remember seeing a clip to you, I think it was, I wanna say, either one to two years ago, where it was produced, it was a production, right? Like you, it was, I want to say either one to two years ago where it was produced, it was a production, right? Like you, it was HBO. It was HBO?

Yeah, yeah. And that was really funny. That was great. I thought that was really good. And then I remember I saw you out with Bert on the fully loaded stuff. Yeah, shout out to Bert. Shout out to Bert.

And then this, I mean, things couldn't be going better. This is fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. Bert's tour was like the pinnacle of like, like holy shit. Like, things are happening now. Yeah. Cause we're on the tour bus.

I like, I had a man of that trouble sleeping, but on that tour bus, I slept like a baby. Right. And then there was like, you know, snacks. I didn't drink too much. There's mushrooms. Yeah, he has those too. Oh, yeah.

It's part of his diet. What is it? Can I ask you, because I heard this thing, but I don't know. I really don't know anything about it. Okay. Did you have like a beef or get dogged by George Lopez?

Just Lopez. He just, he just on this podcast, on his podcast. He had that dude Steve Trevino on. Yeah, I'm a Steve. And something about like, I guess Steve kept bringing me up and just like, hey, here's a funny dude. Nah, Steve was saying something like,

like I don't know, he was like, we gotta help. We gotta help the young guys, you know, like we gotta help the rough part, both of the world, which by the way, I've never met Steve in my life, but, I don't know. But it sounds like he was still waiting on that help. Yeah.

That sounds like he was trying to say, like, let's lift somebody up. Yeah. But I don't know, I've always heard the stories with George, he's very anti-lift people. That's cool. Very nice. But yeah, he was just like, nah, he's like, fuck that. And every time you said my name,

I guess George was getting mad and George was like, who the fuck is that guy? Like don't say his name on here, fuck that guy. And then that kind of, yeah man, Mexicans were pissed. Yeah. And a lot of people will just start blowing up his comments. They're like, there's like 30-year-old Mexican dudes who sounded like 12-year-olds,

they're just like, fuck you, titty bitch. Like, damn. Really? But like, it wasn't like personal animosity, right? Cause they didn't know you. I think he could have brought up anybody's name. And he would have been like, fuck that guy over in there. Yeah, I'm stoked.

The Latin comedy world, it's time for new blood. I love you. I love Frankie Canonis. I think this is like Fucking don't say that That's you know you know you're you're comedy set in Spanish was the first Spanish set I've ever seen really Yeah, at the Addison improv. It's like a few years ago. No shit. This is fucking hilarious. Oh, thanks man. Me and my buddy, Hesu's and, um. Oh, his is Treo. Oh, that guy's funny too.

He's super funny. I guys are amazing. You guys went to that show? No, not that Hesu's another Hesu's. I know, but I know quite a few. Hesu's your buddy went to that Spanish show. Yeah, at the Hesu and Improv. You had, uh, you had other comics like, uh,

from Puerto Rico or stuff there. Yeah, that was cool, so man. No, couple of the Puerto Ricans I couldn't really understand, but it's such, it's so different, right? Yeah, accents, it's just in the Spanish. Yeah, and you'd be like, I speak Spanish, and you'll meet someone and you're like, oh fuck, I guess I don't speak Spanish.

Yeah, so it's, and then like, well, the good thing about that tour, like because I was supposed to be gearing up to shoot one in Spanish. So, but, and I had Richard Avilla with me. Oh, yeah, yeah, Richard was there, yeah. Yeah, yeah, and Richard's, I mean, he's a really good comic, he's also incredibly proficient, but he's also really good at performing,

like he's, he can perform obviously in English, but he really knows like the Latin crowd, and he he was he was the one who early on was like Just know that like more tour like because we were doing we did some Cali shows Arizona and Texas tour It was supposed to go on from there, but he's like do 90% of these crowds are Mexican, so you're you're gonna perform for Mexican people just like and then starting to tweak little things, like whether it's an expression,

like he would tell me, he's like, oh yeah, when you say that, it's gonna make sense to you, but people are gonna be like, they're not used to that expression. So you should do a joke about your expression. You know what I mean? Because I was saying things that are so specifically

peruvian, because that's just what I know. He's like, you gotta explain that. So that was like a huge help. They're like knowing that the audience, yeah, they speak Spanish, but they're not used to saying that. Yeah, there's a different type of Spanish. That's cool. He was like molding you like a kung fu master.

Yeah, he was, he was, he was doing Mexican anecdotes. I've told the Mexican anecdotes and like, he would give me, he would be like, give me a tag. I'd be like, what, he me Mexican's like trust me say taco Okay, and then I would do and he would be like what I Told you man, I was like okay nice hilarious man. I think it I honestly think it's way funnier to see somebody performance-manage who Who doesn't usually speak Spanish? Spanish, that's not their first language.

I mean, part of what makes something funny is vulnerability. Totally. And when you're speaking in a whole other language, it's like, I don't know, twice as vulnerable, twice as fun. You're so much more vulnerable. I also, I was telling those guys that you know how, when you're working a weekend at the improv,

and you're the middle act for like a huge name, right? Like a big name is in town and you're middling. And there's a certain type of nerves that comes for that. You're like, it's packed, like all the shows are sold out and you're like, you have a little bit, right? And the longer you do it, like 10 years from now, you know, some of those nerves, they just start to fade. You still have butterflies about new bits and will this work and oh, this crowd is enormous.

But when I was doing those Spanish shows, I felt like I was a first year comic opening for a Hugh, like I would be, I mean, with my notebook, you know, I mean? It was like bringing me back to that very vulnerable state of like, oh my God. And then you inevitably fuck up what you're saying on stage. Yeah. And but like the crowd was so supportive because they were like, you don't normally do this. And they had that thing where they were like,

almost cheering you on. Yeah, hell yeah. They wanted you to win. Yeah. You inspired me that show. Not to like, do Spanish comedy, but you went up to the Nike hoodie and before that I was really self conscious about what I want on stage. I was like, oh man, you're in Nike hoodie.

I knew you were whatever up there. Cool. You got it on the top. I wasn't this last night. I haven't even showered. I'm inspiring, man. Yeah. I performed in the federal budget of Mexicans last night in the Nike hoodie.

Where'd you go? I'm the new Tom. Where'd you go? I was in Irvine, California. Ohicans last night in the Nike hoodie. What'd you go? I'm the new Tom. Where'd you go? I was in Irvine, California. Oh, last night? Oh, last night. Oh wow, so you flew in super early? Yeah, I got here.

I got my rents when I just came right here. Oh, nice man. How was Irvine? That's always a blast. It's a good crowd. So for you, maybe. Yeah. It was like 50, 50.

Now, it would just be like one really good show, like just, I don't know, and then the other show, I just, I'm out. I'm trying on new material. Yeah, that's how it is. Yeah. So yeah, one show, I mean, the crowd would just be one. But your special just came to me,

the worst feeling, but also, you know that it's gonna be good later, is in the first couple of months when a special comes out, because it can't be all great, and it sucks, but you know you have to go, it's like you're training, you're like, you're like, fuck, and you leave shows like bummed out. But I'm like, damn, the first set of shows, I mean, it would've been cool if the special came out and we were doing like maybe like a smaller club, but that room is big, like 490 people. It's like a small theater. Yeah, I'm like, damn, man. It's like, that's a lot of people

to disappoint. Yeah, like, yeah, because they gave me good feedback on the special. They're like, yo, we saw your special. Also, I'm like, cool. I'll see you in there. Yeah. And then she's out there. I always, I always my shows my first shows back are like in hundred seaters When it went at like to start new new Because I just feel like it's new new, you know, I'm still learning the ropes here. Yeah, well, I mean try it The shows would be awesome though. Yeah, I like you know what I like to do is the like the B rooms and Like what if I can cap city I'll do like the small room the red room and then it shows club. I'll do the side room

I like it all boy just like 100 people like he said just like so if I fucking bomb it You know you're here. He saw me make the sausage. It failed. Sorry. Yeah. Who cares about those hundred people Yeah, they'll sink all the rooms one day Yeah, fuck everybody will know okay, so here's a one day, something. Yeah, fuck it. Nobody will know. Okay, so here's a really fun thing we're gonna do. We found these videos that people record in prison for basically like, it's like their dating site. So they get to post these videos and ask, you know,

for people to like, hey, do you wanna reach out? Hit me up. Hit me up. But what we do is we play the video for you and then you guys guess what this person is in for. Okay. Yeah. I guess the crime.

It's a trip though. I'm gonna warn you because sometimes you'll think like this person's really sweet and that's the guy that murdered his whole family. Yeah, but sometimes, you know, yeah, sometimes just somebody who's like, motherfucker looks tough and he just like, he forgot to make a payment or something.

Yeah, it's pretty fun game. But yeah, sometimes it does line up with what you think. It's all about, you know, where you think it's at. Okay, the name and the face it is, you might recognize it from the one you fantasize about. She's on your boyfriend with. But yeah, I figured I'd say it was tough. It was tough. It's totally, hopefully I hear from you soon and you're having a good day and all that shit. Oh boy. Yeah, it's like that. All right. Oh Oh, I mean, I'm not even looking. I think I sense very like psychopathic traits in this person, you know I think you the first word you said was math. I agree. I'm smelling drugs

But maybe maybe he had drugs on but While he was committing another crime. It was probably probably like, you know, robbing a car or something that he could go on. Yeah, I'm gonna agree. I think it's like, who's a junkie? And he's, he's stole, and he got caught stealing for drug mining or something. You guys are starting off real warm.

Oh no. He has been arrested for robbing a coffee shop at gunpoint fighting Police officer and Forging a fake check. Yeah, that's a pussy shit Fighting a cop I like to testify the cop Like he robbed the coffee shop and forged the fake check Because one of those is really like meth head robbery gun somebody's face But the other one I just imagine like some catch me if you can

He's in a hotel room like very strategically cutting the checks together. It's so strange to have, well, it's just so strange also to have both charges. Like, I got a fake check. Yeah. Oh, okay. And I robbed the place at gunpoint. Yeah, it's, like it's usually one or the other.

Yeah. You're trying to be sly and slide that check in, where nobody notices, or you're putting a gun in someone's face. That's what happens. Usually not both. Maybe you try to slide the check in. You take this? No, okay.

Yeah, here we go. Maybe while he's robbing them, he's like, give me your checkbook, and he's like, ah, I'm writing fake shit on here. I think he has his tongue split too. That was a cool one of those guys. Yeah, those are cool. That's Andrew. Here's a Here's Branson. Let's see what Branson's up to oh

No eyebrows. Oh No words either Is that the video bro? He's just like check me out He's not gonna talk bro He's not very bright. Well. He's not very bright. Well, he's looking at people, he, you know what? He doesn't like, Oh, oh, he didn't like,

he wanted to be vulnerable. Yeah. But at first he was waiting for the people to clear and then he just like, no one's clear now. So the matrix plug in the back. Yeah, it's a really interesting cut. All right, now we guess. Now you can guess. That's the whole clip. That's the clip. He doesn't say a word.. All right, now we guess. Now you can guess.

That's the whole clip. He doesn't say a word. By the way, this is unprecedented. Yeah, we've never had somebody like this. Right, that's murder. That's straight murder. People who are that much in their head have done, they see blood.

Yeah. Hold on. The tear drop, that's the gang. So he's definitely gang shit. So he's killed people, so he's definitely gang shit. So he's killed people, yeah, in gang, gang stuff. Okay. He's a psycho though. So here's a what and a why, okay.

So what happened was he was arrested for stealing a car running from the police at over a hundred miles an hour, then running on foot. He was also arrested on drug charges. He had one pound of meth, a bunch of fentanyl, and nine grams of heroin. And he's locked up until 20, 30, but he is eligible for parole next year. Well, that's not too bad.

Yes, that would have occurred to him. But see how the look definitely says murder. I mean, I believe that too, but it's just drugs. That's crazy. That the judge looked at this guy and was like, I'd be all right. I don't know. He's eligible for parole tomorrow.

Yeah, he's all right. He'll definitely fit right back in his society. Nine pounds of heroin. And how many pounds of meth? A pound of meth? A pound of meth? Yeah, it was here. It's a, one pound of math, nine grams of heroin.

And fentanyl, here's some fentanyl. The fentanyl is really scary stuff. That's the scary shit now, yeah. I feel like if it had just been met in heroin, they're like probation. Yeah, yeah, right. Fat hand would get you like this friendly face. It's guys are really safe.

When the eyebrows go back, you can be in just a society. Bro, look at how elaborate those tats are too. The whole, that's the package. But then again, the guys that have the elaborate package, they don't do a whole lot of shit. It's the guys that look like Mr. Rogers that have like murdered people. Typically we found that quite a bit.

Like the real clean cut, like, the guy who's like, hey, I'm just, I like rainbows, I like drawing, and I like, those are the guys that have to express themselves enough. It's so hard on my side. That's why sometimes you gotta get that crazy tattoo before you end up murdering people. Yeah.

You gotta express yourself. Yeah. And that's drugs. Hey, this guy's a guy. I'm from Boise, I'm 6'3", 250. Whoa. I love language, domestic violence. Oh, now I'm just playing.

But if you like to struggle snuggle, hit me up. It's not playing at all. Yeah, I'm definitely not playing. Clayton, yeah, he's killed, he's killed the bitch. This guy, this guy, he's killed the girlfriend. A salted, a female in his family. Probably his mom. That's just like hitting his mom.

That's why he's in jail. I love this game. Guys? Yeah. Tra love this game. Guys? Yeah. Traffic in heroin. Oh, wow. No tattoos on this game. I feel bad.

That's a little more respectable than hitting your mom. Yeah. And getting his business man. My love language is domestic violence. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's a door. I guess when you are guilty of one thing,

you're pretty honest with the other things, you know? No, I should have. I shouldn't have went for punching moms too obvious. Right. He's not who you think he is. That's what they say about Clayton. And what's curious about this guy is that he's not with Jen Pop.

He's in a hidden like a... He's like in a wreck room, right? A communal beer, yeah. Oh, he's a snitch. Oh, cool. Could be, why is he in this sweet room? Yeah, he's got the television on. This is the fucking presidential suite.

Yeah, that looks better than my room and my dad's house. Right? Look at that TV. They hung it up. Yeah, it looks nice, man. Oh This guy scams somebody he's got a beautiful voice. Oh, he tricks you. There's clues in this one one. Yeah, this guy knows how to scam. He knows how to make you look over here so he can really poke you over here for do do do you.

All right, yeah, yeah, I agree. He's the Nigerian guy that calls you, right? And takes your fucking money. Yeah, I got sent me emails. Bro, I tell you, you fucking nailed it. Yeah, you nailed it. 2015, he stole credit cards and was caught then in 2016, he stole jewelry from his girlfriends,

grandma and pond them and was caught. And he got it the last day. And he got it the final time for being on drugs and stealing. Yeah, it's all scam related stuff. Yeah, he's just a piece of shit. He's not like, he's not like a real criminal. He's kind of a piece of shit. As soon as I saw him singing,

I'm like, don't go near my grandma. Yeah, exactly. This is a little faw for this guy the charmer. Yeah One last guy. Hopefully we land on a sweetheart To know to talk. He's so pretty, I'm sure you should get hold of me. He's an absolute jerk. He's killed us all the time. I gotta say Jacob, that's a nice video. I like the like friends and family.

Let me see what you're, oh, interesting. Okay, so. He's that, it was fucking mine. That guy's so nice. He's so nice. He's so nice. Don't fall for it. I don't know.

I guess if I have to guess, this guy got really mad and maybe killed his best friend or something like that. Maybe a relative, just out of anger. I think he's so, hey, Jacob is this is an Idaho. He's a kind of a crackery white guy. He comes from a crackery family where they suppress all their feelings. He grew up like a Christian or something like that, right?

This is getting deep. Yeah, because I know this kind of, this is, this is like a bullshit artist, this guy. So he's going to pretend like he's together, but the darkness is so dark and so deep. Probably hates his dad because he always wanted to buy like fruit loose, but his dad was really like big on like catalogs and special case. Yeah. Didn't let him slice any bananas into the right. That's right. That's right. No name brand cereals. No, not the...

No pop-tarts with the frosting. I believe you said, nice guy who like popped off one time and did something crazy. Yeah. This guy has like a temper. Yeah. Well, he was arrested for attempted strangulation and then violating his probation.

When you try to strangle, does it say? I wish we knew. That's where the real juice is at, is in the who. In the who, yeah, for sure. For sure. It's a crazy why. It's a crazy girl. Yeah.

So, but isn't that a fun game? They met in church group. I like that, yeah. I mean, I don't like that. He strangle the bitch, but, I mean, this is a fun game. It is fun, yeah. I hope, I don't know, man.

But I don't be afraid that all of these people are going to see this and then form like a sinister six against me Yeah, I'm like remember when you judge this No, they all show up at the same time When I like the front row of my next show Pussy that was a piece of shit dog Had man You tell it had men.

We ever done that? Every heterosexual man should experience anal penetration full stop, just to understand the vulnerability. Just to understand what it's like to have a pussy or if you're gonna penetrate a woman's asshole like to really get what that feels like, it changes the game of how you approach it. All right, get it.

All right, that's the rules and you gotta get a dick attached to you. I'm an experienced you, you gotta experience me. There you go, yeah, get your dick on. Yeah, that's not fair. Get your dick on. Get a real dick, not a strap on, get a dick. Have a dick attached.

I would love to have a dick attached, so not. That's right, it's fun. Why not? But I don't think getting stuff in your butt is the same as getting it in your pussy. Like those are two different feelings altogether. Yeah, I'm not, I'm the old scientist, but I'm pretty sure butts and pussies

are two different. Different feels. You know, actually doctors agree with you. They say that pussies and assholes are quite different. Quite different. Very different. Look at those tiny little tits.

Look how they feel. I also like that she's actually making this really impassioned plea. And it sounds almost sophisticated, but then she's just like, she's like in their asshole, this, understand what a pussy feels like. The language choices kind of diminish what she's saying. And she went British, she was like full stop. And like first of all bitch. Was that like a British turn of order? They go full stop, it's not, absolutely. But she's not, you know, it's like this porn star ambassador.

Yeah. She's like, I speak for the pussy, she's an assholes of a lot of women. This is speaking of pussy's an assholes. This is actually something I'm so excited to share. So there's been this thing, there's been going on for the last, I would say the highest point

has been the last year about censorship of books, like what kind of books should be in libraries? All right. For kids and you know, people are like pushing back on the drag queens. And so I guess the, this is Senator Kennedy. He's reciting sections of all boys aren't blue and gender queer and this is like in DC at at like a hearing and yeah it's really fucking it's just hilarious to see him say and then you can see the face of some of the people who are listening to him read it. I put some blue on and got him on his knees. And I began to slide in and come. I pulled out of him and kissed him while he mastered it. He asked me to turn over while he slipped a condom on himself.

This was my ass. And I don't struggle to imagine someone inside. He got on top and slowly inserted himself into me. It was the worst pain I think I have ever felt in my life. Eventually I felt a mix of pleasure with the pain. Do you feel like he's done this in his life? I feel like he's just like, oh shit, this is the pain. So you feel like he's done this in his life? I mean, I did realize he was just like, oh shit, this is the script, this is my notebook.

I like that he performs it though. Yeah, he performs it. That's the difference. There's a lot of soul in my ass. My ass. I want that to be. I got a new strap home. A strap on me.

A strap on me. Oh, I can't wait to put it on. Wait, it will fit my favorite dildo perfectly. You're going to look so hot. I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth. I'm going to give you the blowjob of your wife when I want you inside of me. I love this. I can watch him all the last look. Y'all want that in school, huh? Hell yeah. I wish he could. I'll be of this guy, Reed DeVole.

This guy should do a tour, like who in the children's library? The dryer pussy's up to work. Can you imagine this guy trying to get you all turned on? So none yet. That's why I feel like this was my ass. I wish you would do all pornography. He should do it all turned on. So none yet. That's why I feel like this was my ass. I wish you would do all pornography. He should do it all for sure. I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth.

The best part is the lady who's laughing the only one. If you were in that room, if I were in that room, then if you'd have to kick me out, I'd be fucking hypervailing. 100% escorted out. I'd be like, it's got to be said to do audio books. Yeah, that was out. I'll be like, it's gotta be said to do audio books. Yeah, that was incredible, unbelievable. You have to write in your next book

a pornography scene and hire this guy to be a porn actor. That excerpt. He'd be like, I'm not for your amusement, young man. This asshole is not for your amusement. I just put this on my outgoing voicemail and just have it saved. I'm going to give you the bow job of your life. Deeper.

Did you guys read this stuff in high school? I remember like I don't remember anything like this. I mean, shit, I read a lot of that. I keep hearing that a lot of these books that are getting banned are like in schools or for like kids books supposedly. Yeah. But I don't remember. I would have remembered that.

I would remember that too. I would remember that. I would that too I remember that so much, but no they I read the Odyssey Not enough sex in that one if you ask me what was um my god. What's the fate? Was it Mark Twain oh and I and my word one and where Jim and where Jim was in there That was a biggy. Yeah, that's why you read it You really want to see the inward 400 times in a book. Not even read it as that. That in catcher on the rye.

He said fuckers, I think, in there. Yeah, then you see that. You have to read. That's cool. Yeah, it's exciting. But I think we were all been like, yeah, get strappons and Bill knows blow-dry. I would have given a presentation.

I'd like to present it to you. I've put this thing in a really good spot. Three times last night. Yeah, 1000, what did I say? I'll give you 3000. There where they go, it's really. A plus plus. It's actually smart to get kids reading stuff. I know.

This is how I motivate teenagers to read, dude. Fuck is wrong with you. Fuck is wrong, which all. I think you gotta expose people and, you know, make them wiser, more mature. Yeah. Sometimes you gotta talk about, so it can cut. Dicks and pussies and dildos and assholes.

You don't want a kid graduating high school, not even knowing how to give or receive a blowjob. That's a true, yeah. And I do want drag queens reading to my kindergarteners. Do you? I do pay attention. You find yourself quicker. You know what you like or don't like.

That's true. They're into that, don't know. There's true. They're into that. I don't know. There's a thing that happens of drag queens. Sometimes they get miss, miss label. Have you ever seen? Please tell me we have this. Oh, yeah. I've been thinking about this for a week. Looks like he's having a nice feast.

She, she, she, her. Yeah. She, she, her. Yeah, it's okay. It's all good. But it was not all good. I use she, her pronouns. I, sheer. It's okay, it's all good. But it was not all good. I use sheer pronouns, I'm not sir. Yeah, like it's like a knife in the heart. Yeah. I also, it did specifically ask ahead of time.

I'm not to be called sir. Yeah, I'm just gonna go. Okay. I have so many thoughts. Yeah, the sweet water starts it. Okay, not, not, I'm so sorry. I have all this stuff. He's always like a knife. It always hurts every single time. I was wondering if there's a manager I could talk to about something that happens.

Yeah, I was called Sir. Oh, I just really sucks every time it happens. I don't need to be called NAM. It's like, here's a deal. I understand you have your preferred pronouns. I get it, but he's like, he's like shitting, sorry, she is like, shitting on bus boys. She heard.

Yeah, like bus, like people that are just fucking working, like if you've worked in a restaurant, you know that the staff is not worried about the little fuckers' gender identity. Can I have points with an oath out? Not only does she set up a camera, but she has a microphone clip.

Yeah, this is all set up for this. For outrage, yes. For the bus boy, I'm like, yeah. Lady, bro, I don't even know English. Right. I don't know how you're pulling that. Fuck your pronouns. It's not a yes, and you're.

That's it. But also too, like, okay, she has a pretty decent receding hairline. The hair is not great for a lady. First, I think if you're gonna, you know, make the change, transition, first go out of the operation, jawline. Yeah, you gotta look at yourself and know,

like I'm gonna hand some fucking dude, but if I'm not gonna be a dude anymore, why I gotta like, you're the same way at this, I don't know. Look, I don't really have much of a job. I could be a chick. You have a slender friend? Yeah, I've been a father at a restaurant. I would not have that problem.

They'd be like, here you go, man, I'll be like, thanks. I'll be like, you call your manager, you are amazing. I couldn't, you're a manager, you are amazing. I couldn't compliment you. And they're like the lady, the beautiful lady over there wants to talk to the manager. I feel like when somebody like that also causes issues and makes videos, it makes it really hard for the entire trans community, I guess, because whenever I go stay

with some friends in New York, we'd go a lot to like the whole Brooklyn comedy scene, which you know, very different. And it was my first time being around a lot of that kind of stuff. And I'd mess up people's pronouns. And not once that anybody was like, ah, what the fuck, you call me the wrong thing, they're just like, nah, I get it, it's all right. They're like, you're just some guy, not that important anyway. Yeah, sure. That the wrong thing. They're just like, nah, I get it, it's all right. They're like, you're just some guy, not that important anyway.

Yeah, sure. That's a thing. Well, this is outrage content though. It's outrage. This individual goes to restaurant. Imagine going to restaurant and like the first thing you do is you set up your camera and you turn your mic on and then you're like, it's gonna wait

for someone to say that one wrong word and then you're like, it's gonna wait for someone to say one wrong word and then make content about it. This is like a fifth order of oysters. You're gonna get to the whole thing. Like man, you've been here six hours. I'm like, also dude, okay, I get that you wanna be called a certain thing, guess what? I want people to call me the right name.

You know how many motherfuckers call me Christine for 20 years? People that I'm really good friends with call me the right name. You know how many motherfuckers call me Christine for 20 years? You're like, people that I'm really good friends with call me Christine and I've never corrected them. You just say, I guess I'm fucking Christine, bro. Yeah, your name is Rafael. I've never once told people call me Ralph. Just happened.

It just happened. It just happened. Dude, it's her name. My favorite thing is before I went down to Mexico to do a show, they were some of the Latin comics were like, just so you know man, in Mexico, Mito, no vale mi era. But they don't fucking give a shit about that.

I was like, okay cool. Yeah, and that did do the fucking, and then she's complaining to like the Chinese owner of the Chinese restaurant. She's like, why? Oh yeah, phone out. I'm gonna fuck up your phone out. No one goes to fuck about you.

You pay, you pay. Just pay, dude. Yeah, I'm offended about my pronouns. This is like, lady, I'm not fucking, I'm about to get deported tomorrow with my children to court. I'm trying to get my citizenship. No, he's a fuck about your pronouns.

Please chill on me, yeah, exactly. I'm just offended. All right, you wanna, you wanna tell Rafael? Rafael, CC, I'm so pumped fan dude. Alright, you wanna tell Rafael. Rafael's CC, I'm so pumped to TikToks. Yeah. Oh man, do you like TikTok? Man, I hate TikToks. Really?

But I'm down to watch whatever people say. But it's because you're on the wrong side of TikTok. That's probably it, I haven't. I haven't put in the time. That's right. So that the algorithm gets to know me. She's got a very specific lane. Okay, you might leave you're really sad or really embarrassed.

But I like the outliers. I don't like normal people, so it's not cute stuff. It's dark shit. Okay, here we go. This is all just remember, however you feel, it's on Christina. Okay. This time is a good one. There you go.

Oh my God. Christina. Okay. It's time is here. There you go. Oh my god. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy. Christmas time is here. That guy killed that dog in stuff. Happy Christmas. And she's fun for all that children call the favorite time.

Oh yeah. Okay, this is like a two and a half minute. You don't like the Charlie Brown Christmas music? Yeah. How scary this guy is. Yes, that's why I like him. And here's what I like too is that he really gets the sadness of the song Christmas times. Yeah, he does.

Some people miss the undertones of depression to this number. Let's see who nails it. Look at that guys, boobs. I've called him a she. I was not mistaken for her. That's a sheer. That's a sheer for sure. He's so sad. Maybe he needs to go to Columbia.

There's no flakes in the air. Carols everywhere. Okay. Why the dog? Why is he putting it on? My god, it is a step bold dog. I thought you were joking. Wait, I thought a real bulldog Oh, I thought I said it's just now It's still fun that for my

No, I got killed his dog and stuff to for sure. Yeah, no probably talks to his like I'm sorry You think I like to told you to stop barking Just wouldn't listen that day and I took it too far Here I am Buckingham Palace home of Queen Freddie Mercury House is here Freddie Mercury very good homosexual man He must have like Joseph man. He's my stess, like, Joseph Stalin. He is my favorite. What's up, man? This is my uncle.

That is definitely a good reason to like, as Chris, for me, he said, there's my uncle, because I'm getting, I'm getting an uncle vibes from him. That's like stuff. I have uncle that say stuff like they're very good homosexual man. Yeah.

Very decent person. They have to qualify it. Like, he's gay, but he's not. All right. He's all right. Yep. America needs to know that these, these blonde girls, they're not where it's at. It's the golf girls that we're looking for.

You see a girl in fish nets who doesn't talk to anybody. That's the one for you. How I met you. Thoughts? I met you. I literally. I met you. Yeah, no. I met you in Thoughts? I met you. I literally met you. Yeah, I know. I met you in fish nets.

Yeah. 100% certain you were a working girl sitting on sunset and I was like, man, I wish I had another 60 bucks on me. Which bit? So special. Have you ever been with a goth chick? Yeah. Yeah.

Look at, look at the smile on his red. Look at that. Reminders. Oh, it's just not my cup of tea. Dang. I feel like sometimes the goth girls are the ones that go after me a little more, because I think I got this goth look to me sometimes. I look like I do a lot of drugs, you know.

Yeah. But yeah, I remember, we got along really well. Like this girl was cool and we went like on this first date and her clothes was just so weird. She looked like a pirate. Like a Madiqsa. Yeah, a pirate, so she was like, I know you're talking about that kind of goth.

It's like, man, that was good. That was her trying to not be goth too. She was kind of like going for like some colors. I think like I would go pirate. I would go pirate got. Yeah. Super lame. And there's the Ikebod crane got to.

It's like the what the flowery kind of billowing. Was she like super laid up? Like some sort of little lady. She's she thick. She was not. No, she's not thick. Bracelets tons like 50 bracelets. She was almost looking like prince.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, too many like 50 bracelets. She was almost looking like Prince. Yeah. Yeah, too many ruffles. Did you got again? Brum? So we did. So we hung out the second time. And I think she knew that maybe the other stuff kind of threw me off.

So the second time we hung out, she just wore like jeans into T-shirt. Uh huh. But nah she's not being herself. Right. Which is hot. So yeah, yeah, we got it on yeah now we're we're hung out a few times but yeah you're not goth enough I'm not neither my bro please please Tom you love it but you like the dark side of the forest though you know, but you don't like Bimboey looking in broads

That's true. What do they mean like the dark side of the forest? Do you guys literally go to forest and When you're in the dark side Yeah, yeah, it's cool. The dark side of the forest Of course, all the force. Yeah, I think it's a forest like energy dark energy. I like dark energy But I don't like it got subculture I can definitely tell you like dark energy. When you came out, when I was out in the lobby of the studio or when you came out, I was like,

this guy is the corporations. This guy gave out the vaccines. Yeah. Yeah. I was a big proponent for sure. Yeah, yeah, I like making people sick. All right, let's see. This is not a huge. Oh, shit. Watch this. What's in that sound?

Bam! He's not even slightly flustered by this. No, he should be. No panic at all. No, no. Look at him. He's just accepting the pneumonia. Dude, the sound is crazy of the ice breaking. Yeah. And it's like, ju-tu, tell him. Can we hear it again? I kind of trip out on the sound more than the actual falling. Look at him.

He's fucking wearing just underwear. Dude, this fool's crazy. Go. Oh, fuck. I mean, I would think actually that worst part is like the face fall. It's just face into the ice. Yeah, it's like a belly flop on top thin ice. I think he's keeping it cool. What do you say here? Oh face I'm I think I think is the audience is there and you being watched he's trying to be cool, you know

Yeah, he's like not sure coming. I'm all good. Yeah, everyone's done that. I'm not sure up in his stomach He's like, no, I'm not too fine. It's fine. Fuck, ice skating, dude. I don't know why people do this. I want ice skating, but it's not got a blister. I was like, never again. You got a blister?

Yeah, I don't know. I was like, yeah. He's fucking in his underwear. He's crazy person. He's totally out of his mind. So I'm in London trying to figure out what to eat out here everything's all different different on the other side of the road My plugs don't fit me the outlet some shit now trying to figure out what to eat

Yeah Yeah, not to get a double quarter pound of a cheese This is a horrible talk. No bro, I fuck with this guy. Yeah, I don't know. Especially in England, my school sucks there. Cause I'm gonna believe that he didn't even like decide to go to London. He just got dropped off there with his plugs.

And he's like, what the fuck man? Is there anything like that? How do you know, man? Like, you don't know, you don't know that things are gonna be different. I mean, the other side of the road, they have these weird accents. Yeah, you're in another fucking country, man.

Yeah, that part's a little long way. I feel at home with that guy. Maybe it's because I'm from here from Texas. Yeah. And Mickey D's abroad, you would go to Mickey D's? I'll go to Mickey D's all the time. But I make these, that was my last meal. Mickey D's, Mickey D's.

What did you get? I got chicken nuggets and a McDouble and some french fries. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I mean, we loosens up the old test and stuff. Yeah, I guess things going for sure. Yeah, how's the opposite effect on me?

It actually stays on. Yeah, it stays there. Yeah. Your body loves McDonald's. I think it does. Your body's loving it. Yeah. Oh, no. But in his defense, the food in England

and Britain rather is so bad that I too would opt for McDonald's. That would be my beacon of war. I gotta go check it out. I've never been there. It's cool, but the food is fucking dog shit. I went to Canada and I feel like the food was really, really good.

Yeah, I like Canada. But the snacks suck. No, bite your tongue. You love themselves or something. Did you try the all dressing chips? Those are the fucking best. Mm-mm. You thought your snacks got all fucked up.

Bro, what were you eating? I don't know, I was just trying to bite chips. And even their Cheetos taste less like chemical or something, but I like the chemicals. Yeah. I like, it's not enough sugar over there. Sure. It's not enough toxins.

I don't understand. I don't like how much they respect their bodies. I don't understand. It's not as fun. It's not as fun. What do you prefer? Well, I do like, I like, Parmesan cheese that's out of the shaky.

Like processed Parmesan cheese over fresh cheese any day. I love orange macaroni and cheese out of the box, like the shitty kind that uses the bad die. Like the one that's not even allowed to be called mac and cheese. This is like craft singles. Yeah, I craft dinners what they call it, I like that, I like shitty hot dogs.

I like everything shitier, actually. Yeah. All right. Here we go. You have brought me about 20 something 23. I want to say. Hold on. I'm counting what's up. Okay. So this is the woman on TikTok. Oh yeah. She's always doing those videos. She's always like, if you're not bringing your husband multiple women to have sex with, where are you even married? It makes him so happy to have sex with other women. I find my husband partner. So for a year of this bitch has been telling us

that she does it and I was like, who the fuck is this woman married to? He must be like an adonis. There he is. That's the guy that she brings chicks home to fuck. I gotta talk to that guy. That's pretty cool, man. I gotta find out how his mind works

or I gotta see his dick. Right. So this is the guy. That's pretty cool, man. I mean, I got to find out how his mind works or I got to see his dick. Right. So this is the guy. This is the mystery man we've all been waiting for. Is that he's seen and he was interested in on his own. So sometimes he's out and about and has some. His expression, by the way, is completely disinterested.

He's like, yeah, that's how he does it. Doesn't care. One that he's like, oh, I'm interested in exploring the idea of cool, cool, cool, and he'll tell me and he'll bring cool, cute, come on, before he even talks to the girl or, you know, it takes any type of step, which is nice because it's respectful. It's nice. I mean, it is your step. And in return, I do the same.

I find people that I think, oh, I like her. I like her Dean. I like how she is. I think she can make my husband a better man. And I'll present her to him. She's one. She's one I saw on Instagram, a close friend dead behind the idea. And if he's interested and thinks they're attractive, yeah, I think it makes it. If not, then he has a mind to have to tell the lady. Yeah. A lot of men want to have what it's all about. But they do it sneakily. Like they lie to their wives. What do you say to that?

Don't be a boy, be a man. A man is honest. Oh man, as guys, it's like she's the most honest man. Stay starein' too. Especially if you're single. Stay starein' on it. Stay starein'

and especially the woman who you want, who you are, and she won't feel like she's betrayed or lied to. It's not nice to hurt people. And when you're honest, you get everything you want. A lot of rewards you for being honest. So I love that. I love that. It is not nice to hurt people.

Pretty healing. Thank you so much. You want to get married. If you're married, we're still working on our first link. Go to collectionwhomary.com. We wrote some great books that can help you. Check them out. Share this video and follow for more

Bro, that dude's straight up Bro, that's what that's what that's what turns this guy makes me feel like such a coward for hiding my cheating Should have been a man. Yeah, like I told her to bring you someone. Yeah, go bring me some when you find attractive I'll say I see worth a grown dating right now, I think is like, open to somewhat of like having another partner. Yeah, because the first time I've been with somebody like that, I've always known I'm into it. I just never thought I'd actually like achieve it,

like obtain it. No, do you mean having a third person in your relationship, a threpple or not just in the relationship, but maybe just like, like obtain it. No, do you mean having a third person in your relationship, a threple or not in the relationship, but maybe just like, like embedded something. Wow. Yeah, she's a keeper, man. Yeah, hasn't happened yet, but we're out, we're out one night and some stuff got crazy.

No, I'm not gonna really say that. Yeah, sure. Don't talk about it, don't jinx it. Don't jinx it. I'll tell you guys when the mics are off. Okay. And you guys gonna be like, oh man, it's fucking rough guys, cool as fuck.

You know what I mean? Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Um, but so apparently this chick likes the strong silent type. Yeah. Yeah. Strong, unblinking, disinterested aloof type.

I'm jumping, just because we're on the topic. I'm jumping to another video because I think this is actually Really appropriate to wrap things up on okay How to keep a bitch from get too comfortable Why is man one said bitch don't get too comfortable and this man gonna tell you how to keep they as uncomfortable So listen up whenever you fucking with these bitches who got pets every time you go over to her crib I want you to kick the shit out down the motherfuckers. And then she asked you why you did it,

say, bitch, you want to be next. This right here will show that you're a dominant man and you're a dangerous man. Women love that shit. Yeah, they love it. Another thing you can do is whenever you out in public and you flirt with other bitches, I want you to look your girl straight in her eye

and say, fuck you. You're a jerk, you're a jerk, you're a jerk, you're a bit badass. This is so her that she got a compete for you. Also, whenever you introduce her to like your friends or your family and shit, introduce her at some cheap. This will make her want to feel better. So in the future, she can get a better title. Also, if you love this bitch, don't ever show it. It's the reason why men who married it based on never getting no pussy. If you want to be a huff, cheer like a huff.

And hoes don't get married. Gameless gang. There you go. Post every way. We haven't visited him in a while. Oh, I know. Yeah, you guys. Someone's got to save me there.

I'll get easy to talk about. Bro, this guy has hundreds. He puts out just masterpieces. He's very informative. I mean, the problem is he's not wrong. Like this will definitely get a woman to fall in line. Yeah, I don't know about kicking the pet I do like Just being out of public and being like fuck you

You guys ever see those videos of you. Oh Excuse me the terets guy. We've seen a few terets guys. Oh, yeah, there's one Man, it's like over 10 years ago, we used to watch it through video. I think it's like his sons are like his stepkids or something that would like record them. So do it in a neck brace. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there's the one where like his like Y for X, Y for something through like a ball of cereal at him. And he's like picking it up. And he's just like bitch. Yeah, I love you. Yeah, yeah. That's a bit. But we've had like some real, real ones that are crazy.

Like people out in public saying, wild shit that you cannot say in public. Nice. It's some of the best stuff. Treads is a blessing for you. In me. So for people that don't know if they have not yet, please watch Kawabunga on Netflix right

now. You have dates coming up. I'm a ticket to tickets at Barbosa comedy dot com. Follow me on Instagram Ralph Barbosa zero three. Not to like brag, but a lot of the shows for the rest of this year. Pretty, pretty sold out, I think. Congrats, man. Not Austin.

Plenty of tickets left for Austin. All right, so if you're in Texas, you know, go see your boy, come to my shows. Absolutely. Congrats on everything. Congrats on all your success, man. Thank you guys. Yeah, thanks for coming in.

We'll see you guys next week. Bye, money. Remember the poop pile? Everybody wanted to poop. To poop pile? Everybody wanted to poop. To poop pile. Everybody wanted to poop. To poop pile. Everybody wanted to poop.

To poop pile. Everybody wanted to poop. To poop pile. Everybody wanted to poop. To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile.

To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile. To poop pile. Poo pie. Everybody want to touch that. Yeah. Poo pie. Poo pie. Poo pie.

Poo pie. Poo pie. Poo pie. Poo pie. You guys had a pile of human feces in your backyard. Poo pie. Poo pie. Poo pie. Poo pie. You guys had a pile of human feces in your backyard. Poo pile. Poo pile. Poo pile. Poo pile. Poo pile. Poo pile. Poo pile. We like this poo pile. Poo pile. Everybody wanted to poo pile. It's a poo pile. Everybody wanted to poo pile. It's a poo pile.

We shit on that thing for a hundred days in a row. People from all over that apartment complex were shit there. It was like a thousand shits in one guy. The neighborhood kids were like, I want to take a shit there. We let them, we would announce who we go. I can't say like that. I can't say it like that. I can't say it like that. I can't say it like that. Everybody's wanting tattoos.

It's a poo. Everybody's wanting tattoos. It's a poo. Everybody's wanting tattoos. It's a poo. Everybody's wanting tattoos. A poo pile. A poo pile.

A poo pile. I wanted to poop. I pooped pile. I pooped pile.