Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Duncan Trussell-268-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: November 20, 2014

Duncan Trussell is here! You may know Duncan "Truffles" as the guy who has sex with pigs for laughs, but he's more than that! D-Truss is our friend, a fellow podcaster and comedian, this sweet and enlightened man is here shining his radiance on us in a way only he can do.  We examine #TEAMLITTLED**K and what it means to breathe thru the bump in your baby head with the Smith siblings.  Plus Duncan takes us down the path of goodness. He points us and hopefully you towards the light with ideas and philosophies that are from a higher power, but simplified in a way that likens them to your poo covered B-hole.  Get your denim space suit on, we're leaving the Stratosphere on this one!

We're late, but it doesn't matter because we have such a good guess people are gonna be overjoyed. Oh you guys, you're gonna lose your minds, you've been requesting him for a million years and he's finally here. This is a big deal. Thank you. Yeah, this is a big deal. Yeah, so we might as well just say it now, our very special guest today is Mr. Duncan

Trussell. Hello. Thanks for having me. Oh please. We're so, I mean I should say it again, it's Mr. Duncan Trussell. It's like a hip hop show, you know? Yeah, I love it. Yeah, we use bullhorns too.

It makes things more exciting, you know? This is great. I gotta get a sound board, I gotta get two computers running. There's so much shit going on. I gotta get these clamp mics. This is great. We don't fuck around here at your mom's house. We don't fuck around.

So look, there's a lot of stuff. First of all, I gotta say, I just did a tour that's related to what you're doing. I just got back, I did New Orleans, Houston, Dallas and Oklahoma City this weekend and it was unfucking believable. Awesome. It was the best time. It was all fans of our show and just stand-up fans, one night in each city. I've never had a better time doing stand-up and you're going to Houston at the end of

January. Comedy takeover festival, doing a live podcast there, party some stand-ups. Holy shit. I'm also going to be in Austin and Houston, but those dates aren't up yet, but that's at the end of January. So he'll be in Houston January 24th and 25th. I'm telling you, James, you have to go. How about where again?

To Oklahoma City. I did Houston, Dallas, New Orleans. Okay, I'll go there. I'll go to those places. Yeah, I'll do it. No, I'm serious. It was unbelievable. I've never...

I know every day you call me when you got home and you're like, that was a fucking bad show. And then the next day you're like, that was a fucking bad show. It was crazy. It was crazy. I'm telling you. Things have changed now, like podcasts have gotten to a certain place where it's like the fan base is so into the podcast.

Thank God. Yeah. Thank God. It's awesome. Thank God. Our jeans are the best, dude. I actually just felt very lucky like this. But seriously, I felt like grateful.

Yeah. For sure. The whole time. You know, it makes all the difference when people know what they're getting into and they like it. Yeah. Instead of like, what? You're not dying.

Yeah. No shit. Remember that? That's what it used to be every time. Mark Ridley's comedy castle. Oh, in Detroit. You never forget that fucking date. Those people were staring at me like I was a lizard, like something that climbed out

of an abandoned factory and just started shitting all over their state. And now if you were to do that gig, the people that came to see you would shit all over the people that are looking at you like a lizard, you know, they'd be like, what is your fucking problem? Yeah. Thank God. Thank God for technology and thank God for podcasts. Yeah.

Well, Jean, you're going to be in Toledo. Yeah. Toledo, Ohio. Not Toledo, Spain. Right. This week. That was a distinction we have to make. Yeah.

So many people are like, are you going to Spain? Thursday? No. I'm flying into Detroit. And that'll be... That's amazing. No, wait. Yeah.

Thursday through Sunday. The Toledo funny bone. And then in Fartford, Comneticut. Is that how you say it? It's Fartterd, Comneticut. Sorry. There you go. Beautiful place.

Don't get up on place. Don't get up on place. Yeah. At that, Fartford Funny Bone December 10th through 13th. So come see your jeans. And also, if you're an Austin Tejas for New Year's Eve, the jeans machine and I are doing Cap City. We're doing two shows, New Year's Eve and two shows, January 2nd and 3rd.

Nice. That's two shows, January 2nd and two shows, January 3rd. And then... Also, yeah. December 3rd. That's exciting. We're doing the podcast. We're just doing stand-up.

That's right. Just for you guys now. Which is awesome, you know. My next date is December 4th through 7th in Phoenix. It's stand-up live. We've never been there. It's an amazing club. Downtown Phoenix.

And then December 18th through 20th, I am in San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club. Or as you guys like to call it, Cox Comedy Club in Manfrin Disco. All the dates are at TomSugarra.com for my stand-up. ChristinaComedy.com for her stand-up. And that's that. Oh, and DuncanTruffle.com. DuncanTruffle.com. Thanks.

DuncanTruffles. Isn't that your company name? Yeah, Truffles. Now, you give away Truffles during the show? Is that what you get? That's right. Yeah, I throw Truffles out. And I make...

Truffles are just such a funny, funny thing. There's just so many gags you can make about it. Just hours of... I have 17 hours of just Truffles jokes. Of just Truffles jokes. Pure Truffles jokes. And then I get into my Truffle pit joking about the Truffle pigs. And then...

That's so weird. This is what kind of bit you in the ass at the Comedy Castle is that they didn't get all the Truffle stuff. Yeah, well, a lot of... There are a lot of environmentalists there who don't agree with the way the Truffle pigs are treated. So, PETA was there. 80% of the audience was the protesters who are against Truffle pigs.

Sucks. Sucks. But, you know, things have changed. Yeah, the pigs are treated far better than they used to be. They're like a typical meat slaughterhouse pig. True story, yeah. Truffle pigs are like the Dalai Lama pig. They get to eat some of the Truffles, too, right?

You have to masturbate them, you know. A lot of people don't realize that, but why do you think that they don't like the Truffles? That's true. They don't like them. Every time they find a Truffle, you have to either suck them off or make them come. You just have to make them come. And then they relinquish the Truffle from their mouth, is that what you're saying? It's either or.

It's either or. Yep. I've read that. Yeah. I missed that article. No, it's like, they go, I like this Truffle so much, you got to give me something just as good to let it go. That's it.

That makes me laugh so much. Well, no, they don't like, interestingly enough, they don't like the Truffles. They cause what's called a double clamp down, which is their jaws clamp down on the Truffle. Oh, I got it. Oh, okay. Because it's so revolted by the thing that somehow their jaws clenched. And then they used to have Truffle boys is what they were called, but this is the medieval times.

There were the teenagers would follow the Truffle pigs and then they would have to go under, suck them off, pig releases the Truffle and they're on to get more Truffles. I didn't read that. It's so weird. I missed this. You always learn something. Yeah, that's interesting. If you pay attention.

Because we have a pitch out to NBC right now. That's true. In my Duncan, maybe he'd be interested in it in about the dogs. Oh, oh, dog dick afternoon. So dog dick afternoon is a show where Christina is like a dog walker. Yes. And she takes like she goes and she picks up different dogs like a dog walker would from different homes, all different breeds.

And then she finds like a field, like a very quaint, peaceful field. Yes. And she masturbates each dog. Yes. And you just get to watch different dogs come. I love it. You know, I think it's great. I would definitely watch it.

Yeah. But I don't do dramatic acting. So it'd be hard to be in it. But you'd watch the show. I'd watch it. It sounds like a tear joker, man. It's so sad. Those poor dogs.

Maltese pit bulls. Yeah. Maltes are hard because they're very small penis. Hounds, German shepherds. But my hands are tiny. I have to have nimble fingers. Well, that's why I know two episodes are the same. Yeah.

You know, you have to come up with different ways to get them to finish. Yeah. Yeah. Who is that? Tito is our dog. He's a... No, I know the dog. Yeah.

But who's he? Bart? You said someone didn't give him his money. Well, he's also a bookie. So, like, a lot of the other dogs in the neighborhood... Yeah. Fuck, man. They'll place bets through him.

Yeah. And he's pretty ruthless. Man, that's rough, man. You know, when I was a kid, our parents' dog was got into that... Really? Yeah, very similar kind of lifestyle. And it was not... I mean, it didn't end up great for the dog.

Well, our dog comes from a bad neighborhood. He drinks alcohol. Yeah. He smokes. Classic signs. Yep. You got to watch out, man. A lot of stuff can happen.

Like, we came home and my mom was tied up. Wow. There was a German shepherd. Wow. Wow. There. And I don't know what happened, but there was some kind of... I don't know.

It was bad. Yeah. A lot of times it's just for, like, a few bucks, too, you know? Well, in the dog world, that goes a long way. I mean, you're talking chews, premium chews. And Theo came home with some really nice chew sticks that we did not pay for. So, I don't know where he's getting those from. It's a bad road.

He told me he goes, you know, he said the saints shit the bed on Sunday. Uh-oh. I guess they were... I don't know if they were favored, but he said he won out pretty good on that one. Okay. Yeah, but, you know, you're liable for that. As the owner, right? Yeah.

Shit. The dogs are filled with people whose dogs were bookies. Like, that's a huge part of the prison population is the people who have been convicted. And the suburbs. Yeah, I know. So, I mean, it's funny and it's great to talk about it on a podcast, but it's going to suck when you're in prison for 10 years because your dog was having fun. Speaking of prisoners, we do have one more thing to add that there's new merchandise in the store.

It's finally here, the shirt. Cops are all bald and shit. Cops are bald, t-shirts are there, and we have the Bristol Stool Chart Mugs. Which is a great gift for anybody for Christmas. Yes. Or just fans of the show. Do you know, are you familiar with the Bristol Stool Chart? I have it tattooed on my leg.

Yeah. Wow. I like to know what's coming out, man. It's like we're so fixated on what's coming in, but nobody pays attention to what's coming out. That's... Wow. That is deep. People say like some people eat to live and some people live.

I'm getting your quote hung right there. Yeah. That's fantastic. You got to get a stool chart. If I were you guys, I'd offer a package because you guys know about the squatty potty? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You guys, you get a squatty potty and then if you go up to Home Depot, you can actually

get a bidet in your toilet. We want one. You got to wash the back side. You got to clean that hole because... You do. People in the West aren't aware of the fact that somehow they think because there's shit crusted on your asshole that you could just use paper to wipe that off. Yeah.

It's really... It's interesting for the most developed and modern part of the world. It's really an antiquated way of doing that, right? Mashing shit against your butt hole with paper. I'm saying we're the most technologically advanced society, basically, most developed, wealthiest country in the world and here we are in the washing shit. Well, we're number one. Well, you see a bidet at someone's house and you're like, well, well, well, what do we

have here? Yeah. Duke Dandy. Oh, you got a water fountain for your asshole. Who do you think you are? Right. And we have some caviar too. Meanwhile, they've got a shiny, clean, sweet smelling, beautiful asshole as opposed to

your just crusted, mucous-y hole. Really musky butthole too. Musky butt. My father would say, Duncan, you need to wipe down. You need to wipe down. You got to wipe down. Yeah. Is it posted up?

Yeah. Who wipes up? Can I tell you, my mother taught me to wipe up. Oh! Yes. And she's European. My mother's Hungarian and I was taught incorrectly. And then I went to school and they were like, you need to wipe down.

And I was like, mom, you're totally wrong as you are with everything else. My mother taught me. I figured it out pretty early in life. I surpassed her. Oh, who's that? Whoa! Someone's here. Who's there?

I told you. Hold on, hold on. Now you'll see what happens when the dog's a bookie. Oh, that's the mailman. Oh, it is? Yeah. That's why the dog is... That's cool.

Your mailman knows your name. Well, I guess you would. Yeah, he knows our... But yeah, but he also is like... He's friends with you. He referred to you in a friendly neighborhood mailman way. That's pretty cool, right? That's badass.

Yeah. I don't... No? No, my mailman... Really? Yeah. Some of them are. But like, he's a good guy.

He's one of the good guys. It's just the uniform. They're kind of like human bees, like houses or flowers. They're flying through neighborhoods together. They know all the dirt too. They know all the dirt. They know all the dirt on the neighborhood. They know when you're getting your VD results.

They sure do. No one's... Yeah, those VD result envelopes are so obviously VD result. Really? I've never... I've only done it like... Are you guys recording? Yeah, we're still recording.

That was our mailman. Yeah, is everything cool? Yeah, yeah. He just... He personally walks back our packages. So nice. Sometimes, yeah. Super cool.

That's nice. We're talking about VD result, mail packages. I didn't know that they're just... VD. Yeah. Yeah, because it'll be like... There you go. It'll stay on the top like lab, you know, lab court, but in big red stamp font.

Like personal and confidential. So it's humiliating to get those. I've only got it at the doctor's office when they actually take your blood and everything and then they call you, but what they do is they go, hey, we got the results of your blood test like in a message and they go, so call us back for that and you're like... Oh, mother. Fox, just tell me. And then you call and you're like, what's up?

They're like, we have your results? Yeah, I know. You said that. What is it? Jesus Christ, man. Fox. Yeah, that's the worst. Just text it.

Yeah. Dude. Just a green check. You're all good. Yeah. Yeah. Something simple. Don't draw it out.

Thumbs up. Sick. We haven't even done Duncan a proper... Oh, shit. We like to call it show open, so we always play an audio clip of something and then our official open. Oh, cool. So we're going to do that right now.

Okay. Here we go, guys. Let's party. Oh, I'm going to tell y'all I don't like big dicks. I don't like big dicks for the simple fact that, you know, I like to go nuts on a penis. I like to suck a dick where I feel like I'm in power. Okay? Big dicks weakens me as a woman.

I can't suck it the way that I want to suck it. And I can't forget the way that I want to fuck it. Okay? This shit is big time. Who is Ramsey? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Don't bring anyone loving to this. Don't bring anyone loving to this.

Don't bring anyone loving to this. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Tom Segura and Christina Pajitzi. Christina Pajitzi. Welcome to your mom's house. Do you like it Tom Segura? Yes.

I got to get serious. I got to get this from my podcast. Damn. What do you think of that shit? Space ship is landed. So that woman was pretty cool. Where'd you find her? She's on the interwebs.

You want to hear a more detailed explanation? Sure. Obviously. Okay. Here we go. I don't like big dicks. And I'm going to tell y'all the truth. It's the confessions of Monique Anderson.

And I'm about to go as deep as possible as I can go. I don't know. She doesn't sound shamed. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't say it's a confession either, but. I mean, I guess maybe you know what it might be is that for years, she's been telling everyone how much she loves big dicks. And now she's like.

Like to her children. Yeah. She's like, I was lying. Yeah. Yeah. So that's a big moment for her. Yeah. Now I'm going to tell y'all I don't like big dicks.

I don't like big dicks for the simple fact that, you know, I like to go nuts on a penis. I like to suck a dick where I feel like I'm in power. Okay. Big dicks. Weakens. Empowered or in power. In power. She wants to be in control.

Yeah. Like a woman. I can't suck it the way that I want to suck it. Yeah. And I can't forget the way that I want to fuck it. Here's the thing, man. It's a problem. You hear her voice.

Yeah. So obviously what happened is that she, it was a big dick. Yeah. They probably damaged her vocal cords. Yeah. And now she's got this raspy fucked up voice. That's really sad. This is a sad video.

Guys, listen to my voice. Right. You know. Yeah. You've had damage done as well. Yeah. I don't like big dicks either. They fuck you up, man.

They do. Your dick only takes one. They do. Don't be Peter Gazing. Chips. Here, she gives a little more explanation. Big, big men, you know, like to put people in pretzels and then go nuts with a big ass dick causing problems and leaving me with dick in my back after sex.

I don't need dick in my back after sex. That's the problem. What is that? I know that's a medical term and I'm not familiar. Dicking my back? Yeah. Yeah. It's that like the power and force was so great that even well after the event, you

have some type of... Anything I should explain that? Physical ailment. I mean, I live with it. That's a great compliment in a way. I mean, if you're... Yes. I mean, she is complimenting whoever did that to her.

If you think of that as a compliment, but I think what she's really... This is really an advocate for most of society, this woman. She's saying like, I don't even want that thing that everybody talks about and you think you desire to have this huge, enormous rod between your legs. She's like, I'd rather just have a regular size one so I can have some fun because I'm getting hurt by all the Tom guys. Tom sized guys. Yeah.

Out there. For me. Okay. I like to have sex and I walk away from this shit. I don't need to be thinking about this big dick still stuck in my backbone. I don't got time for that. Secondly, I don't like to suck a dick where I feel like I'm a throw up. Okay.

I don't want to throw up. I mean, I believe in the club. We be having a good time. I be tipsy. Then he whipped that big ass dick out and didn't want me to suck it. Nigga, you're going to sober me up. I'm going to throw up because the motherfucker took that damn big. I like to hold my liquor.

I don't want to suck big and feel like I'm going to throw up on the big. It's too big. It's too wide. Big ego like Beyonce. Okay. She said that that dick has a big ego like Beyonce. Hmm. Hmm.

Yeah. Yeah, I got it. Yeah. Because you know, they can get there. Like maybe it has its own consciousness or it's sentient. Yeah. And it's own life. Yeah.

Four separate from the. Yeah. It happens. Host organism. Yeah. Hey, I don't have time. Okay. And I don't have time to be, you know, embarrassing myself and I'm also let y'all know I'm Team

Little Dick. Yeah. You see what she just said right there? She is Team Little Dick. Little Dick. Myself and I'm also let y'all know I'm Team Little Dick. Team Little Dick. Wow.

Well, you know, she should write a book, I think. I think it's on the way. I think Team Little Dick is going to explode. You're going to start seeing a lot of hashtag. Yeah. Hashtag. Team Little Dick. Yeah.

I think it's really going to take off. Yeah. We need more people like her in the world. That's a great confession. It shines. It illuminates. It illuminates. A lot.

A lot of it. I mean, a person, you know, you hear somebody like that. Yeah. And it opens your heart. It does. Because so much, so many problems in the world. So much pain and suffering. Yeah.

And no one's talking about dicks. Yeah. No one's talking about dicks. She is experiencing a pretty rough phase of her life. I don't know. I'm glad. This is why we have YouTube. I'm sure all the comments are very comforting and loving.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that too. Support from the community. Absolutely. You know, the one thing she doesn't address, though, is what constitutes a big dick and what's a little dick. Right.

Maybe she's like, I want, I'm Team Little Dick. It's like, you know, you got to be under 10 or I'm not, and then you're like, whoa, wait, what? It's true. It is already. She's been sucking off bears. Could be. Team Little Dick, man.

I don't know what size of bear cock is actually. I've never seen it either. It's like one that's, it's, it's in she's like a dog's, right? I'm assuming. And then they come out. Don't know. Yeah. I don't know.

That's something not a lot of people. Let's look it up. In your life. You're not going to see a lot of bear cocks if you're a human. Mr. Truffles, I want to ask you. Yes. You, how long have you been podcasting? Like how long has that been something you've been doing?

Well, I probably about five. I don't know, four or five. It's hard to, it's hard to figure it out. I mean, I could figure it out exactly, but I started a podcast when I was with Natasha. Oh, that's right. You guys had one together? Yeah. Yeah.

The lavender hour. So we started doing that years and years ago. Don't say that in a way. I did it in a very smug way that was like, I was doing a couple's thing before you were. Yeah. And I felt very insulted. We invented it. Yeah.

You were just like. Yeah. We invented it. And you're like, I did it years. Years ago. When did you guys start yours? Like 20 years ago. 25.

Yeah. Well, ours was like 30 years ago. Well, technically, like we had our first week, we uploaded one in like 75. I mean, yeah, my grandmother and grandfather had the stage show they did. They didn't have record recording equipment in the beginning back then or like what we have now. But so my whole generations of my family have been doing a couple's podcast all the way back.

All the way back. Well, there's a, you know, I don't know if you know, there's a Shakespeare play called your mom's house. Yeah. It was written about. It's in the Bible. Actually. Genesis, Exodus, your mom's house.

Leviticus. Right. Yeah. Well, that's, that's really interesting because my Shakespeare was actually a great, great, great, great grandfather. You guys have a similar beard. And he had a podcast. Yeah.

With his wife. So you and short stuff had a thing and short. We lived together and we started this podcast because Marshall Childs from the laughing skull. What? That's who kicked us off for you. Well, kind of. We were just like not taking it seriously at all.

You know, Matt Dwyer and Matt Bronger were doing this podcast. Yeah. But two mats or whatever. Cool. And it was fun to do. And then like, I think Natasha and I were like, why don't we just try recording one once a month? And we just started recording us yapping and then uploading it and Marshall Childs from

the laughing skull called, because I guess he started listening. He's like, listen, podcasting is going to become gigantic. And it's going to get into this and he was so right. It was the best advice business wise. I think I've ever been given in my life. He just called to take it more seriously, put them out regularly. Trust me, if you keep doing it right now, it's going to pay off because they're about to explode and he was right.

It turned into a whole, you know, just what we were talking about before. So yeah, I don't know, four years, I guess, five years, I'd have to go back and look. But definitely one year longer than however long you guys have been doing it. Right. Well, I do, I will say this though, I think like podcasting has produced, you know, it's helped out a lot of people's careers, ourselves included. And there's different tiers of success that you see within it and different tiers of like podcast stars.

I would say you're at the top, man. Oh, I don't know. No, I'm serious. You are. And so it's cool because like I've known you, you know, not real well, but I've known you for a while and I've seen like how your success has grown and grown and grown, which is really cool to see somebody that you know doing something that you're really good at. And it's it's just really taking off.

Thank God, man. Thank God, because, you know, I can't, I have a really hard time getting on TV or doing the normal path that comics generally are supposed to take. Like I can't, I'm just not very good at auditioning or any of the stuff that, you know, there's like two, there's the old path used to be the way to go, you know, you have a pager and you like your commercial agent is texting you, right? The old path was like, you got to get on TV. It was really fucking weird and stagnant and horrible, that old path was like one show

you had to get on the tonight show and then you had to sit on the couch. And if you didn't, you were just fucked, right? Yeah. For Star Search or something. And then that was Star Search. It was just this miserable thing. And that that produced this entire species of comedian that was like had to like fall into a way of being that was great for the, that worked for network TV.

So like, I can remember, you know, the old school comics, when I was coming up at the comedy store when I was a talent coordinator, you talk to these old school and you get this old advice. Yeah. And I remember one of them telling me, whatever you do, never talk about aliens or Bigfoot or any of that shit. If you get on TV, imagine that guy seeing where Duncan's at today, knowing what he talks about.

Like, what would he fucking say to you now? Well, I guess you're the one fucking weirdo that it worked for. Yeah. Yeah. But that guy, you know, he, that was what it was like. You wanted to come across as somebody who was a balanced, stable, productive. In his defense, he probably, I'm sure he thought he was giving you really good advice. Absolutely.

Yeah. Well, because that's what it was like. Sure. Because the TV was 100% supported by corporations who had to as much as possible. Appealed to the largest demographic and that's called the median and the median is the mediocre and mediocre people only want to stay on the surface. And so if you wanted to like, you had to be edgy, safe, right? Yeah.

That's the kind of person you'd have to be if you, but you definitely couldn't be edgy, edgy or forget it. You were fine. No, I was told very early when I started, like, don't, you can't curse, you got to work clean. Don't work clean. You got to work clean. I mean, I started it, both of us started in LA.

I don't, did you start out here too? Yep. That was never an issue in the LA clubs. I don't know. Nobody told us that. You fast forward from that advice to like, your show, which is, has a nice following is completely blue, not clean at all. Like our podcast.

Right. And you stand up, you work as a internationally touring headliner and you're not never clean. Completely just whatever I want to. Whatever you want to say. Right. And you know, whoever tells, because I was told the same thing a lot about being clean. I've got to be clean and then it's like, I just, I never felt like it was me and I didn't do it.

I'm so happy that even if it took longer and the path is different, I would feel so inauthentic trying to be that, not that like clean is bad. It's just not authentic. It's not your lane. Clean works. It's insanely amazing. Like Jim Gaffigan or when you see somebody taking these like, when it, you know, he has kids in the audience and he's not modifying is what he's doing.

That's incredible, but that's just not the way my brain doesn't work like that. And, and I don't think Gaffigan is like in private. I don't think he's like, man, and then I was fingering this bitch is pussy, man. Scott, I love just fucking bitches. All I don't think he's like a, not that any of us are like that, but I don't think Gaffigan's blue. I think he's what he's doing is a direct representation of what he's like. Yes.

That's what it should be. Right. That's the idea is it should be it should be you, but this, you know, if you look back at the advice you were getting, really what you're getting is advice about how to be a successful mechanism of propaganda to uphold the whatever the cultural norm was of the time that TV is so dead TV is still does, but thank God they're losing the war. But for the longest time, they created the image of what we are all supposed to be living in look like, right?

And that reality tunnel was not a reality tunnel where there was cursing. At one point there's like, you can look back in the history of TV and find the first time couples slept in bed together. Lucy and Ricky slept in separate twin beds. Yeah, there you go. And she was pregnant and they couldn't even, I believe they couldn't show it or something or they had to elude, they couldn't say she was pregnant. They couldn't show toilets.

They couldn't show toilets. You can look back to the first time they showed the top of a toilet. There goes our show, our sitcom. It's just a toilet flushing. That's our show. That's a great idea, man, like those fireplaces that you can get in your TV. Yeah, you know what I wanted to do as an art exhibit? I'm serious.

I want to do this one day at like LACMA or something is set up. It's an all glass ceiling above you. And there's glass tubes coming from the glass ceiling. So everybody that's going to this exhibit is on the ground level and they're looking up at glass tubes and glass ceilings and then 10 different naked people walk across it and they sit down into these glass tubes and they all shit. And you see different types of shit. But I want to have like a Joey Diaz guy and then a gluten free guy and a model

like a thin model and different people and it's all different numbers on the bristle, just watch it come down the glass. That's such a smart idea. It really is. That would be like that would be a legendary exhibit. Bill O'Reilly would be like right. Give us that, you know, it's like losers and winners. You get so upset.

Yeah, yeah. People sitting down and crap is not our screen. Yeah. Well, I guess that's all now. Yeah. Oh, remember that we're watching this documentary on Netflix called The Artist is Present. Have you seen this? Yeah, it's great.

Yeah. And all she does is look at people. Yeah, yeah. But and then she sees people. But not only that, you said it too. And I think someone says it even in the film is that what's happening is that people so often are not paid attention to. Yes.

Oh, yes, especially now more than ever. Yeah, ironically, she's the like in their whole life or at least in their day is like the one person that's seeing them. Yes. And they're really projecting. So it's like you're you're seeing a mirror. The person who's sitting there is actually seeing a mirror. They're like, oh, they're they're feeling right what they want someone to see.

Like some people are mad at her, which is really interesting. So those of you don't know what the exhibit is. It's a it's an artist. What's her Abramovich is her last name. She's a Czech lady, total Eastern blocker. And she sits down for like three months in a museum and every day all she does is sit down and she looks people in the eye. So you sit down next across from a stranger and she just engages them

and doesn't say a word and just stares into their eyes. And at first you're like, this is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen. What is this? So stupid. And then you see people's reactions like they're crying. Some people are mad at her. Some people you can see it in their face or just like, fuck you, fucking bitch. What is this?

And like you're saying it's all a projection of whatever it is you're going through right against her. She's she's a blank canvas in essence. She I don't think it's a blank canvas. I don't think she's giving approval and acceptance. I see it in her face. So that's that's interesting. You see something different.

Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess that's part. That's part of the exhibit. But there's like the metaphysical occult idea of the human attention being one of the most valuable and powerful forces in the universe and how because it's so powerful and valuable. Well, it is because look at how much money people pay for billboards, logos, brands, and what's that? What is that doing?

It's harvesting human attention because if you really think about it's pretty amazing that a human being is this sort of lighthouse that's able that's it's like we're made of we're the universe and we're putting out this thing we call attention into the world. And so that's one of the most potent things ever. It's literally the universe looking at you. So that that I think that's why people are breaking down. Oh, interesting.

So you see it from her perspective. I see you think they're breaking down because of the attention. Because yeah, they're feeling this beam of. Yeah, because a lot of people get no attention. You know, you forget as performers, too, we get it in different doses and sometimes hyper concentrated amounts. Yeah, but like to get just attention. You know, sometimes you talk to somebody and you see them.

They can't believe that someone is speaking to them and giving them attention and really listening. Yes, and listening and actually with them. Yeah, listening. Yeah, is really it's a strong thing to do for some people. It's it's like one of the great gifts you can give somebody is to listen to them. And instead of planning what you're about to say when you're hearing them, you're like you're writing the script for the next response.

Because they'll say this thing like that will trigger. They'll give you a key phrase like a Google key phrase. Like they'll say whatever it is. And then just based on the key phrase, you'll pull up whatever you tend to say in relation to that key phrase and then you'll pop that out robotically. And they weren't really listened to and you didn't get the experience of a true interaction. Right. Right.

So it's you're just this auto stuff. It's like you're both on autopilot. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And the moment you start actually listening to people and trying to cut away the script, it's cool to watch what happens to you and them because the energy shifts in this profound way. Yeah. And there's also panic in shutting the fuck up and listening. Like there's a human inclination.

Like your brain wants to go, you gotta do like the panic sets in. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. And there's something that can actually be, I feel like that can happen in the silence that people are uncomfortable with. Yeah. You know, sometimes you don't say something and they don't say something, but there's still something going on, you know, and you go like, if people want to jump around it, like, oh, I just got what got you.

Sometimes you talk to people and they're like, that was awkward. And you're like, well, it wasn't awkward. It was just a different beat. Right. It was a different moment. It was a different language. Yeah. We started talking in different language for a second and you don't even know that language exists.

Right. You call that language awkward. Yeah. That language is actually the energetic connection between us and the sense of whatever that is, whether it's, I don't know, pheromones or a neuro electrical activity that's picked up in a very subtle way. And that's trippy. It is.

And sometimes it's really strong. Yeah. You can sense it. You feel it in your brain and your body. You're like, whoa, it's just like there's a pop, right? Yeah. I feel like you can get that sometimes, uh, you know, just with hookers, Tom, with hookers, like fail.

They'll be like looking at my dick. Don't be Peter Gazing. And I'll be like, don't be looking at my Peter like that. And then I giggle and then it's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes when they stare at your dick, you're like, what? And they're like, I'm team little dick.

So this is good. Yeah. Little dick. Team little dick. Yeah. I've people beat back silence. Silence is one of the great demons of the modern world. And it's just a desperate problem.

Like when you're in a car with a friend driving somewhere and a conversation goes away and the radio's off and you're like, yeah. What the fuck did I say something wrong? And can I tell you, that's why I don't hang out with a ton of people. I'm not super, super, super comfortable. Like Tom and I can sit in silence because we're married, but I have a hard time hanging out with people because of that constant need for chatter. And like, I get tired at the end of the exchange.

It's like a home and nap. I know. Hang out with people. It's intense. Yeah, I know. I like being, I mean, being alone is a lot fucking easier. That's for sure. I mean, you guys, I guess, have merged now and become one super being.

So you get to be the unified sort of flesh being one person. Yeah. That's great. I don't get no. I think that's good. We're not like a weird symbiote. I mean, no, I mean, yes, yes and no, right? That's the essence to successful.

I think couplehood is together and still you have a different identity. You have to have a strong sense of your separate being and who you are. But then it's equally strong with your genes. Right. You you share one pair of jeans, but you have it separate legs. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. That's it.

I don't I mean, I think it's cool. You know, I used to be terrified. People are terrified. Everybody wants to be a goddamn that, you know, strong individual. Everybody's so into being a fucking individual. And it's like it's just a stupid not not that I think we're all strong individuals here, but it's like to fixate on that is so hilarious because you're really just fixating on this game.

The series of games you tend to play with people. Like, yeah, you know, like when people it's very funny to me when you hear someone say like, I'm just not that kind of person. And it's like, well, what do you mean? Like who are what who's talking? Like when you say I'm not that kind of person. Who is the eye that you're referring to another being all together? Like there's the eye that you're talking about and the eye that's talking and

set that weird bifurcation you've created in yourself is automatically a malfunction because you're referring to a different a thing inside your field of awareness and not acknowledging the fact that really all you are is a field of awareness surrounding a kind of meat meat thing that thinks, you know, you're the best. It's the best. Talking to the best. You have such here's my favorite thing about you.

You have such an interesting mind and such an interesting perspective, but your gift is that you can articulate it. So yeah, so you have such a unique perspective. You're you're deep, man. You're you're I understand that you should go on. That's deep, bro. I would say you should go and that's deep, bro. Well, funny.

You should mention it because he already has been holding the episode for just this fantastic moment. I will drop Duncan's episode next Monday and you can go even further down the rabbit hole. I mean, this is just a taste of what Duncan and I I'm not going to keep rambling like that. I know, no, we love it. We love it.

What are you talking about? This is the best. Actually, I wanted to tap into that specifically your deepness because you know, who's equally deep, maybe not as deep, but getting there. Jaden and Willow Smith, the children of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. They just did an interview with the New York Times. I want to give you some of the things they're saying and you can add your input. Or maybe maybe you can decode it here.

Yeah, decoding it would be help. I'm not sure. So, um, they, uh, let's see, uh, they asked the kids what they've been reading. And then the interviewer asks them, I'm curious about your experience of time. Do you feel like life is moving really quickly? Is your music one way to sort of turn it over and reflect on it? Willow responds, I mean, time for me, I can make it go slower, fast, however I please, and that's how I know it doesn't exist.

Jaden then says, it's proven that time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe is relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds, but it's also such a thing that you can get lost in it. Willow says, because living, Jaden says, right, because you have to live. There's a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds and you can talk and talk,

but it's a living. This is what happens when you play too many video games. You just go on and on about nonsense. When I was a kid, we didn't talk about this popular culture of bullshit. We talked about 14. Yeah. Now, I may have made a dumb joke, but no, no, what you're seeing there is the what I think a byproduct of the internet or the, uh, you know, there's a.

There's this idea that we're entering into the singularity and that everything's accelerating and that kid that we're speeding. What you're seeing there is what happens when people aren't brainwashed by whatever the popular culture is vomiting into your head. You stay on the internet. Well, if you go, just go on Reddit, like go on Reddit, go to the subreddit science, go to the subreddit, futureology, go to the subreddit, world news, and just hang out there for two weeks and you'll start getting all these incredible

ideas that are emerging or all these new ideas or all these new discoveries that are happening. And your universe will start expanding just from those little bites of information, right? But in these kids, you know, I don't know what they're being exposed to or where they're getting the information from. A big part of this is never going to school. Yeah.

Yeah. I disagree. I think what this is is, um, knowledge fractals, which is kind of the danger of the internet as well. Cause if you pull up a smidgen of a larger opus that some thinker has sat down to write and you just know a little bit, you like, that's what this sounds like. Yeah. And he's like, you know what I mean?

It's just time and space. And you're like, no, no, no. Do you understand? Did you say, it's just time and space? You know what I'm saying? No, I'm talking about, you know, I'm for real now. I'm sure that's time and space. That's how he talks, right?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm talking about? You just made Jaden a 75 year old black man. And then you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Time and space. Shit like that. You know what I'm saying?

I'm a physicist. But, but listen. So, but I'm saying that the problem is, is that listen to no ideas, to truly know what somebody's thinking. I'm old school. I like books. You got to, you got to start and have a fucking cogent thought. You have to respect what people have written and really understand the thinker.

Like here's one. Here's what this is my favorite. Jaden goes, you know, your whole life can pass back in six seconds. Is that how he says it? Right. But it's also such a thing that you can get lost in. And then Willow just says, because living. What?

Well, that's not a cogent. Yeah, right. Well, she probably, I mean, maybe she had another thing she meant to throw out. Not to come to her rescue or anything. I don't know. I know what you mean. It's easy to get stuck on the very surface level and just regurgitate. Yes.

That you don't fully understand. Yes. Just like, and not go to the deeper, deeper implications of it. Or just really get it. I don't know. I think they're just spitting out weird. And the feeling of being like, this is a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made, like, what do you say that again?

That's pretty good. So that is kind of cogent. Yeah, this is a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made. Yeah, that's what Willow says. And then Jaden bursts into laughter as soon as me and Willow started releasing music. That's one thing that the whole world took away is, okay, they unlocked another step of honesty. If these guys can be honest about everything, then we can be more honest.

What? I'm not sure they unlocked another step of, well, I mean, it sounds like what she's saying is when they started releasing music, they became more of a conduit to this higher intelligence that's creating this universe of which they're a tiny piece. Oh, so, okay, I'm sorry. I don't mean you're up. Maybe they're talking about the fact that we're on a simulator and that they're recognizing that the time is just one of the, well, what kind of, I mean, Willow,

like, what song do you think do you think it's with my hair that? But you know what? I'm God. Why have you guys got me defending the fucking creator with my hair? I want to, I want to say that it doesn't matter the product, every single product or every single song, like Taylor Swift's new song, which I don't know it, just can you sing a little? You probably haven't heard it because they don't play it that much.

But Taylor Swift's new song, which I hate, I hate it. The thing that like, that's surprising, by the way, but keep going. I mean, she's great. We love her on the show. All these, all these things are like, when you're, when you got two kids talking like that, what you're getting there is people who are preaching to a very certain group of people. Yeah.

I think just to add to what they're saying that the creative force, whatever reason is using technology to try to get bigger ideas out to the world, or maybe the world is using technology to get bigger ideas out because it recognizes humans are kind of existential threat to the current environment. And so all these big ideas are flowing out of the weirdest vehicles. And there's certain vehicles that are, are certain teachers that are here for certain students.

So how wonderful is it to create this trap where you have this idiot song with my hair luring in a bunch of dum-dums who become huge fans. And then they start filling them with this information. And even if they have a cursory understanding of it, you hook them with the stupid thing. Yeah. And then you start giving them the, the great information. And then that, that's a really positive thing to do.

I think it's a beautiful thing to do, but I'd know what you mean. It's like loathsome on one level to have to listen to some of the crappy music. Fuckin' none of them, whip it like I do, I, I get to the end and I go hard. When they see me pull up, I whip it real hard, I whip it real hard, real hard. Now whip it real hard, don't let haters. Now I have, um, another thing I want to read you from the article. Yeah. Um, I really want some Duncan stank on this right here.

I'll put it on. Um, so the interviewer asked, you mentioned earlier, uh, breathing, it's also an idea that, that recurs in your songs. Willow says, breathing is meditation. Life is a meditation. You have to breathe in order to live. So breathing is how you get in touch with the sacred space of your heart. Jaden adds, when bait, when babies are born, they're soft spots, they're soft

spots bump, it has like a heartbeat in it. That's because energy is coming through their body up and down. Willow says prana energy. Jaden says it's prana energy because they still breathe through their stomach. They remember babies. Remember Willow says, when they're in the stomach, they're so aware of putting all their bones together, putting all their ligaments together, but they're shocked by this harsh world where the chemicals and all that.

And they grow up and they just start losing, you know, they just become like, are you making this up? No, I swear to God, I swear to God, this is from the New York times. Well, and Willow's been writing her own novels since she was six. Don't forget that. Yeah. The prana thing is so in, and so that's Vedic culture. What she's talking about is something called prana yam, which is a, a, uh,

breathing exercise that you can do where you circulate air through one nostril and out the other nostril. And there's very, like you actually hold one nostril and breathe in and then breathe out through the other hold and then breathe out through the other. And so breathe inhalation is, or breath is your direct connection to the, to everything in the universe, breathing as a representation or the constant affirmation of the fact that we're connected to all things. The patterns of breathing that people have changed according generally to

the external environment. So if you're in a dangerous situation, you'll breathe faster. If you're in a relaxed situation or falling asleep, you'll breathe slower. Uh, and the idea is that instead of letting your breath patterns be controlled by external situations, if you begin to take control of your breathing patterns, regardless of what's happening outside of you, then you can create various states of consciousness that allow you to adapt to what's happening around you in a more effective way, which is why people who are like shooting, for example,

people who are trained to shoot guns, they're taught how to breathe. Breathing is a huge part of being a sniper. You've got to learn how to control your breath because not only, yeah. Exactly. Like it's so that, so people who are like, I think I would imagine like special forces, you know, I was in special forces, but you were, oh yeah, for five years. And we learned that you have to, the first thing they teach you in the special forces is breathing and how to control your breathing patterns.

So yeah. Now, which branch were you in special for it? Like, were you army special for deep Marines, deep Marines? They don't even, yeah. I never heard of that. You know, I bet you didn't. Yeah. Like super special.

Huh. Wow. It was really interesting. How many people have you killed? How many people haven't I killed? That's a question I prefer. You don't, you by the way, you don't just ask. Oh really?

I'm sorry. I haven't been in the Marines in 10 years. You were in the Marines. Yeah. I could feel that. I could see that. It's pretty crazy though, right? For a 14 and 16 year old.

Well, yeah, that's, well, I mean, no, I, is it, it's crazy now only because we went through a period of deep shit conditioning where the high schools were, you know, like you were like public schools quite often are not given the opportunity to give this information to people. If you go to India and talk to kids, they know that that's just something that's naturally taught, which is that we're surrounded by energy. When you're breathing, you're breathing energy into your body. This energy is called Prana.

It's in various places. There's more Prana. It's considered in the, in times of day, there's more Prana and the more, you know, like in the morning, when you go outside, if you, if you managed to wake up really early, you go outside and you're like, man, oh, it's beautiful. And you get this weird feeling of like, ah, man, this feels great. Yeah. Well, they say that's because there's like, there's more Prana there.

There's more life energy there. And certain places have more Prana. If you go out into nature or the beach, or if you go to a wilderness area, it feels really good. And then certain places are very low in Prana, like airplane taco bells, for example, in a shitty part of town where you're like, you go to certain places. That's true. And it feels like shit.

And that's because the energy, there's not a lot of Prana there. The energy there is very low. And those are those, those places, if you ever heard the term goons, the good G, U, N, A, S, the goonas are the modes of the material universe. So like the idea is that there's the mode of goodness, ignorance and passion. And these various modes have different Prana qualities, I guess you could say. So in different places are in the mode of ignorance. So a taco bell in a shitty part of town would be in the mode of ignorance.

Whereas like a beautiful beach would be in the mode of energy. Yeah. Now, see, do you hear how Duncan explains that? It's pretty cogent, makes sense. He's, he's thought about these ideas. He's integrated them like this shit that they're, it's like, they're just throwing out words. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the difference. Well, because part of it too, is that when you're that age, especially when you get kind of, I would say, like a heightened idea, you want people to know that you have this idea and more excited about letting people know you have the idea than expressing the idea. Because you're 14, you're 15. You want to be like, I have a pretty, yeah. Is it all this is like really public?

I mean, you know, stupid you are when you're a teenager. I know. When you read this, when you're when you're 30, you're going to be like, oh, you think they'll feel bad about saying that? I don't know if they'll feel badly. I think it's like the equivalent of you get embarrassed. I think sometimes like, you know, I've seen videos like family videos of myself and you're like, oh, you're kind of embarrassed, you know.

Yeah, you know, it's funny. You say that though, because one of the, I was, I'm really into this. Talk about embarrassing. I'm really, really into this guy, Michael Beckwith. He was the guy at Agape. He's so good. And he talks a lot about embarrassment as being a necessary part of spiritual growth and that that feeling of embarrassment is a good feeling.

I think it's valuable. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, I don't know, man. I see it differently than you guys see. I don't see that though. I don't know how much they understand it. I think that what they're saying doesn't feel to me like that far off from some

very, very ancient philosophies that they're, they're getting that from some, someone's teaching them some form of Vedic philosophy. It's yogic philosophy. Someone's giving them, or maybe it's new thought. It does remind me a lot of like what Michael Beckwith talks about. I don't know if they understand it fully, but the way that they're expressing it is seems to be pretty on point. I don't know.

I also, I think like, if I look at their, all that they've done it said in the last years, there's a lot of arrogance and entitlement to, which I think is why people don't like these kids because it is a lot of like, you just don't know. I'm an artist. You're like, well, they do say one of the, I, there's a lot of weird. They do say that like, I think he's mentally ill. I think there's some who's mentally schizophrenia at the boy. So yeah, if you look at his tweets and stuff, there's a lot of like, it's very

erratic and it's really nonsensical. I wouldn't be surprised if we find out that he is some, some's doing. It's not, this isn't like normal adolescent. Like, hey, I'm into transcendent, blah, blah, blah. Like it feels fucking weird, man. It's, I don't know. I don't, I don't, I don't get, I mean, God damn it. You guys really lured me into a fantastic trap here because I can't feel, I

don't, I think that they're, look, I think that the idea is I'm trying to avoid and I'm doing a terrible job a lot of the time. But like, you know, I had this, my hero in music is Lou Barlow and he's the, you know, Lou Barlow, so Lou Barlow is this like indie God who is in a band called Sebedo and in a dinosaur junior. And so like, he's fucking great, man. And we had him on one, like a big earth shattering moment for me was when we had him on the podcast, you had him on your head, your hero on your podcast.

He lived in silver. Like he's, I think he left town. I couldn't believe it. I got in touch with him. Well, no, because, you know, when I was just working at the comedy store, I went to see him perform and I, he was, he sang this incredible song about what the reason, the song is about how the reason he can't make good music anymore is because his brain got fried from smoking meth.

And it's the saddest, most poignant, sweet song ever. And I couldn't find it anywhere. So I went on his website, emailed him, never expecting a response. And he wrote back and then he just sent me the CD and like, and that was pretty mind blowing. But then I had his email. And so years later, I emailed him and said, can you come on this podcast? He's like, sure, I'll come on the podcast.

Yeah. And so then I'm sitting with this guy who's like, I consider one of the greatest musicians ever, one of the greatest lyricists ever. And Natasha and I snarkily start bringing up, who's the Katy Perry? Yeah. Fully expecting Lou Barlow to be like, yeah, what a fraud. Yeah. But what he said was, if it moves you, it's okay.

He's like, and there's Katy Perry songs that I listened to that have moved me. Right. And if she's moving people, it's okay. And that was like, oh, you motherfuckery, yank the rug of bitterness out from there and you remove the ability for us to have a kind of piranha attack on somebody who is just doing whatever it is she's doing in the world the best she can and that piranha attack, that aggression and that desire to like really fucking stick it to people.

Yeah. Because they're putting themselves out there. Yeah. That is a endogenous aspect of being a human being in the West. We're taught to come down on a person because they're fucking saying things in the wrong way or what we think is the wrong way. Right. But it's like, shit, who knows?

You know, if I was a kid and I heard them talk about that and I was up in North Carolina prior to coming in contact with any kind of yogic principle at all. And somebody just started talking about how breath is life and started talking about how you could see the energy moving through a baby. That might shift me in a good direction. Absolutely. I hear you saying, I got to say, I resent the fact that you're opening my mind and my heart seeing this a different way.

I don't want to see it a different way. I think he's, these kids are a little arrogant and shitty too. There's, there is a tone and I agree with you. There's some, look, there's merits almost everything every artist does. I mean, as long as people are enjoying that, that's very true. There's one actually interesting point of this that I want to, that I want to touch on before we move on. And that is the school aspect because I'm interested on your opinion on school

because they say, they, they, they, they ask them is, is the hardest, is the hardest education on learning things. And Willis says, yes, basically the crazy thing is, doesn't have to be like that. And Jaden says, here's the deal. School is not authentic because it ends. It's not true. It's not real. Our learning will never end.

The school that we go to every single morning, we continue to go to forever until the day we, you know, we're in our bed. Jaden says, kids to go to, who go to school are so teenageery, so angsty. Willis says, they're never, they never want to do anything. They're so tired. Jaden says, you never learn anything in school. Think about many car accidents happen every day. Driver's ed, what's up?

I still haven't been a driver's ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can't see how drivers that is really helping them out. Willis says, I went to school for one year. It was the best experience, but the worst experience. The best because I was like, oh, now I know why kids are so depressed. But it was the worst experience because I was so depressed. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I remember school, they make you wake up too early. You've got to get up super fucking early. Your parents are stressed out because they got to get you to the Fed and to the bus stop in time. Did you pick up on or read that? Like, I read years after I was in high school that they basically have the medical world could establish that at that age, our bodies need much more rest. Oh, for sure. And that we really should have been like getting up for school at like 10.

Yeah. Well, why couldn't they want to? Factory workers is what they want. Yes, yes. These penal colonies for teenagers. That's what a high school is. It's a fucking, I mean, if you look at the great portion of theoretically what has happened when humans were evolving,

it wasn't like tribes were like, all right, wake the fuck up. You got to get to this fucking cave. Wake up and go to the cave lit by artificial light, where we will teach you symbols that represent the universe instead of teaching you how to live exactly in the universe. And if you don't like it, we will teach you that that's going to lead you to being broke and poor and probably, you know, a high school dropout. What's worse than that, man?

A high school dropout. Remember the problem? Oh, yeah. Oh, you know about Timmy? He's a high school dropout. Watch out for that, kid. He's not going to the fucking conditioning facility anymore. You better be careful.

He's dangerous on drugs. You know, it's a waterslide straight to prison. If you drop out of the conditioning facility, you're going to go to the fucking jail where people go. If you're not conditioned, right? I think about what they say about college dropouts to college dropouts. They're like, you waste it. And then how many college dropouts have literally changed the way the world works?

Yeah, they they're the most like a genius. People have developed ideas that they took. They left college instead of staying and studying that staying the course. They change everything. Yeah, they left. Yeah, you know, if you had a kid, though, would you go through that the normal school patterns, you think? It depends on what if I if I could afford to put I want my kid to get a

really good education by people are getting paid what they deserve to be paid. So I want my kid to be in a place where the people who are teaching them are living comfortably, aren't experiencing constant anxiety over whether or not they can make enough money to live. Yeah. So I want the underlying feeling to be one of if I could afford it. I wouldn't want my kids to be around non-stressed out. People who are being who are having to dance for the state bullets that are

being shot at their feet in the form of these retarded tests, where kids are just taught to memorize and regurgitate information for really no reason. I want them to be around people who are happy and love being around kids and love teaching. So that's what I would that I would want to send. I would not want to put my kid in a public school if I could help it. But if I had to do it, if there was no choice, then I would want to figure out ways to make sure that I knew what my kid was learning and that my kid understood that the that I am not looking at his grades or his performance

in school as an indication of how much love he deserves for me. So I don't want to disagree. I think fear is a wonderful. Anxiety for me. I've always been fear based. I went to I was lucky and I got kicked out of public school here in L.A. And I went to a wonderful private school taught by Irish and Catholic school. And I loved it.

I love the discipline. I love the structure. And I was privileged enough to be in a nice school or there, you know, it's private, so great. But I think there is something to the discipline and rigor of getting up, of going there, of sitting down, of fucking reading something and understanding something. It's discipline and I'm real old school. I kind of like it.

And then if you don't like it later, graduate from college and then subvert what you've learned, but at least get the base coat of rational fucking behavior and thought down before you can undo it. I don't know. It's an intro. What you're talking about, there's two ways of like, oh, and it's what you're saying is a lot of comedians think this way, which is that prosperity comes from suffering or that from like coming through.

And it's true. I mean, right behind you, we're just talking about James Brown. You watched that documentary. I didn't watch the doc. We were talking about him on Rogan's podcast, raised in a brothel. Yes. You know, forged in poverty and pain and agony. And so this idea is a very prominent idea right now, which is that successful living comes from anxiety, suffering.

And like you said, fear. I don't know how much you were joking about that, but I'm pretty serious. Pretty fear based. A lot of people believe that that is the fuel that is supposed to run a person's life. It doesn't. It's not the best. I'm working aggressively in therapy to undo the fear. No, yeah.

I mean, I was raised very similarly. A lot of, you know, a lot of religious kind of influence, anxiety, guilt, fear. It's the best. Makes you a good person, though. No, you and then you have to work hard to try to take those pieces out. Yeah, it's not. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you I think getting away from the I think that the the big,

the important thing that you learn is that it's there's such a massive impact made on a kid when they're like, if I if I didn't do good at this, I'm not good. Like that thought. That's it. I still feel that, you know, I'm not successful. I'm dog shit. Exactly. And that's that that that becomes a way of thinking that you it's so deep rooted if it's started young that it's really hard to unlearn that's behavioral

that you believe in and it's deep, deep wired in you, man. So if you're like, you're saying, you know, you didn't do well on this test, doesn't mean I'm going to love you less. That's huge. It's you love you and you're the you're the parent that is one in a billion that can say, hey, I love you and you can do X or I love you regardless of real easy for me to say. Well, that's true.

But it's I think it's the important idea. Yeah, well, you're the you're the Willow Smith of this moment. I want to look. I'm not ashamed to be Willow Smith. I and I it's so it's like the idea that the the universe is purely abundant and the idea that, you know, in it's the dream that we figure out a way to have a hundred percent efficient solar panels so that there's no longer energy deficit so that we can have infinite energy from the sun.

That's a dream of humanity and solar panels are advancing in that direction. And if that happens, then what that does is it illuminates this ancient idea that we live in abundant universe where we're completely upheld and loved. And it's true. It really is true. And that's the new paradigm. And it's actually a very old paradigm, but it got blasted away and hopefully it's emerging back into the consciousness of the world again.

And so as a parent, you want to become the embodiment of that paradigm of love and abundance so that when a kid's the kid just begins to think, oh, shit, I'm always being held or by the universe. You know what? I think ruin that theory was that way of being was feudalism, like maybe the beginnings of the feudal lord and owning property and the haves and the have nots and then capitalism later. Yeah, feudalism, man.

I think that's the beginning, right? Surf's fiefdom. People say it's like a lot of people have theories. It's when people started planning and people started instead of, it's when people move from being hunter-gatherers to gradient gathering grain for the winter and hoarding resources. Yeah. But fortunately, you know, we're not there now.

Well, well, we are there now, but the really cool thing is that in this moment right now, you can just analyze how you actually feel. And most people feel inside of them a kind of icy anxiety, constant running, constant running, undercurrent of anxiety and panic and panic, fear, fear and that shame. Yeah, that in that shadow that you're feeling, that's everybody's the human condition. That's the big secret conspiracy is that we're not supposed to be acknowledging

that that's actually what's inside of us in that run in the marathon that everybody's running with these big fake smiles on their face is a desperate attempt to not sit, to the moment you stop moving, which is what they call meditation and you get to feel that and just be like, I'm going to admit, I'm scared as shit, I'm angry, I'm reactive, I don't want to die. I'm worried about my parents. I'm worried I'm not a good enough person. I'm worried I'm not, I'm not good enough at my job.

I'm worried I'm not going to be okay. I'm worried that everything's going to fall apart. I'm worried I'm going to be ruined. Once you recognize that you're haunted by that ghost, just the recognition will put you way ahead of all the other people who are pretending that that feeling isn't even there. That's so true. It's so true.

It's what you get from therapy, I think. I always tell my therapist that the big thing is that when we get to a certain point where we talk about something, I'll tell her, the big thing for me this week was that that thing that I've been doing or thinking for so long, I now have the recognition of it. So like I see it like, Oh, I'm thinking this way right now. And for the years before, I would just do it, but not acknowledge that it's an actual behavior or thought that is in and then once you recognize it, you go, Oh,

now I can actually change that behavior or thought if I want to know that you have the power to right being cognizant of it is being the awareness. I think is the biggest thing for me that I've got through therapy is that you have awareness of ideas and behaviors because if you're not aware, if you're not aware, instead, you get a bad feeling, which you're not acknowledging is a bad feeling. And that's why so many people reach for food, for alcohol, for drugs, for sex, for God, it feels bad.

And then you got to surf the net, light a cigarette, yeah, whatever it is, what is this thing? Instead of sitting in that feeling and just sucking it up in the moment and watching it and just watching it with the intention of with the intention of opening, just that alone will change it. You know, it's because a lot of times when you really start becoming aware of just how terrified you are, anxious or scared or angry or whatever, that will only compound the situation because you're like, I've got to be better.

I've got to get this fucking thing out of me. Now you're failing by being aware of your internal like negative states. And then that just compounds it. Whereas instead you just what's called in Buddhism, what's called noting, which is that you, you start becoming aware of what you're saying. The different mind states like, oh, here's, here I am when I'm, this is, oh, I'm angry. I'm especially, this is why relationships are so good.

Because when you get in a fight, you can practice mindfulness as the fight is happening. And so when I'm starting to get angry at my girlfriend, I can recognize like, oh, there it is. Yeah. Okay. Now look at the way you act when you're angry. Now watch what you're doing now.

Okay. Now you're really going to try to get revenge. Oh, now you're really going to get her back. Get ready to get her back. And now you got her back. Yeah. That fucking pattern. And then you watch that grow and then dissipate and go back to phase one.

And you can watch it in them too. When they're really pissed at you, you can look at them and be like, oh, you're just purely re now you're completely controlled by your anger. And I'm watching what you look like when you're completely controlled by your anger. And it's fun to look at someone who's really pissed off at you and pretend that they smoked a drug to make them that way. Yeah.

So now look at them like they're high instead of like they're angry. And you'll be like, well, you're just really drunk on anger right now. And soon that's going to dissipate and you're going to be back to a normal person again. But the way you are right now, isn't you? And I'm not going to keep going back to what the shit you said to me when you were really angry anymore than I'm going to go back to shit. My friend said to me when they were super drunk and said that kind of that's

mindfulness. You can at least my mindfulness is huge. Yeah. And I also find that like having awareness, once you become more aware, you'll do things like because you know about it, you'll go much more quickly. You might say, oh, hey, five minutes ago, I realized that I was being that I was being a dick or I was, you know, crazy. Yeah.

So I'm sorry about that. And that's something that like otherwise you'd have been like, fuck that. No, it wasn't like, you know, like until you have that awareness, you don't really do that. Yeah. Yeah. Feelings, by the way, this is one that I hate them that like, you know, that like they did, they, they were able to establish that like you feel certain like

when a feeling hits you, that that lasts like 90 seconds. And that actually the extension of it is you ruminating in it. Wow. You actually it will pass, but it's you obsessing on that that makes it feel longer, but it's going to pass. If you let it, if you let it permeate and go, but then I get scared of the feeling and I block it. I don't want to feel it.

So you're making it last. Yeah. Instead of just going, all right, dude, let's just go. Let's just cry it out. Let's freak out. That's badass, right? That's called, yeah, there's a, and it's called threading the necklace. So it's like, when you start realizing that it's like you're, there's the

initial feeling that what you're looking at any way that you're feeling, right? The way you're feeling right now is a direct result of the way you felt before. And it's a direct, it's a, it's a chain. It's, it's, it's a completely dependent. It's called God. What the fuck do they call it? And they have a great name in Buddhism. It's called dependent origination, which is that everything arises from some other

thing. And so when you get into the present moment, you begin to recognize, oh, this feeling is arising because of actions and thoughts that I had a millisecond ago. And I'm not really a victim because like you're saying, I'm ruminating and I'm recreating this feeling state over and over and over again. And they say that the mind is so fast that you're doing this, this activity is happening like a hundred times a second or six. There's like a, I can't remember whether it's like 600 mind movements per second.

Or it's happening so fucking fast that you don't realize it. But yeah, once you start recognizing, oh shit, I'm the one threading this necklace of horror that I call my life. Then it's a beautiful moment because you can begin to, uh, just apply mindfulness to the situation. And suddenly you'll realize that you're acting differently, wildly differently in situations where you used to be doing the exact same shit. God, man.

I'm scum renton. It's great. I love it. It's great. It's great, man. You're the architect of everything. It's you, even shame. It's you projecting your shame on.

No one's actually shaming you anymore as an adult. You're the one going, oh, there's a lot of choices. It's all choice. Well, choices to feel a lot of way. Can I tell you what I like when we do, when we fight is that because we're comedians, I think the ability to make a joke at a really inappropriate time has saved us time and time again, because it lifts you out of the moment. Like the other day I was touching your equipment and we were face timing.

Oh, not that one. Sorry. No, like I was touching this shit for my, my show, my other show. And, um, and you were like, stop, you're touching it too hard. You're getting mad. And, and you were like, I, would you say that, or did I tell you I wanted you to die of AIDS and die? I'll be, you know, if I can, but cancer.

And it did, it did, um, it made my frustration and anger in, in what she was doing kind of dissipate. Yeah. You know, I was like, Oh, this isn't like, I don't know. It's not that serious and I'm not, it's not worth really getting angry over. And I just like, in a second, it went away. She's like, I hope you die. And I was like, well, I hope you have the worst podcast ever.

Right. You know, and then it kind of, it really works for us. It works for us because it takes you out of your rage for a minute. Like, Oh, oh yeah. Yeah. I'm touching my shit. Are we fighting right now? Yes.

This is ridiculous. Oh, okay. Yeah. Just that, just that, like fighting, fighting. Oh, now look, here's, I like to think about it. Like whack-a-mole. It's like you, you get whenever you're not going to, no matter what you do at this very moment, no matter if, if you sit down right now and like grow feathers

out of your back and, and try to meditate for the rest of your life, guaranteed you're going to get fucking angry again, guaranteed you're going to get angry again. But the next time you get angry, uh, instead of looking at it as an abomination, look at it as this incredible opportunity to study this lifetime of habituation and just watch the way that you act. Don't change it. Let yourself run through the whole fucking program, but just watch yourself running through the program and it's really cool.

Cause you'll see it's all automatic. Yep. It's all automatic. It's incredible. Uh, which Braxton are you today? Today. Well, I'm feeling very powerful. I'm feeling like I own it and I'm about to go to Toledo tomorrow.

So I'm feeling like Tony Braxton. Okay, I got it. I kind of feel like, I feel good, but I feel like, I feel like I'm, I'm open to change and open to learning. So I feel like Tawanda. Oh, I love Tawanda. And you, I don't know if you already know which Braxton you are today. I don't know their names.

Oh, well, I think it's obvious who you are today. You're Miss E. Oh, you are Miss E. How, what is she? She's our mom and she's teaching us stuff and she has our best interests and everybody's best interests at heart because she's the mother. Yeah. Is she also terrified and anxious and constantly shitting herself?

Cause she feels. Yes. She has that too. Okay, great. She does that. Mommy has her. So can you say that I'm Miss E today? I'm Miss E today.

Yeah. All right. That's awesome. That is awesome. Jean's, uh, do we have time? Do you have time for one more thing? I love to do one more thing. So it happened again.

It's unbelievable that it happened again, but there is yet another person with persistent genital arousal disorder. Have you heard of this? Oh, yeah, I've heard about this. It's a nightmare I've heard. Yeah, but it's also really funny to laugh at. Oh, God. Yeah.

Instant. It's like, it's like an erection that doesn't go away. Yeah. And well, here's when you're on your knees at your father's funeral, buy this casket and you're saying goodbye to him. And then you have nine orgasms right there. Your whole family is standing behind you makes me never want to have another orgasm as long as you live, but you know what, just keep on coming.

That's a joke. No, that's real. That's real. That's real. Just you just keep on coming is a joke. No, no, that's from the like the documentary piece on him. He's like, but they just keep on coming. They just keep on coming.

It sounds like he's saying, you keep coming. God, man, let me tell you, if there was some technology, that's going to fall. Don't do that. Oh, if there was a technology that they could put inside of coffins that made anyone within a certain radius have an instantaneous orgasm, I would do that at my funeral in a second. I feel like I want everyone coming massive, massive, hardcore, giant orgasms. That's what the sound I would want at my funeral is people just coming and coming

and coming. That that's the gift. How wonderful is she a poor guy? Now, that's, that's when we've already played before. That's when we, we, we, we really broke down this news. This is the new one we've, we've played two people. That this is the third person. Cara and I were shopping one afternoon when she found herself suddenly an

inexplicably sexually aroused. Within minutes, her legs buckled and she fell, experiencing a series of crippling, unstimulated orgasms. Cara was diagnosed with persistent genital arousal disorder. This narrator is making me angry. Six hours a day. Six hours a day. Over-satisfied.

I'm tired. I'm exhausted, but I know that in the next couple seconds, minutes, hours, another one's been a hit. The one day that I decided to count how many orgasms I had, one setting. I counted 180 in two hours everywhere I had to go. Damn. Pretty much with that type of number, you're having two or three in a minute and her condition has tested her relationship with her husband, Tony.

Well, when my wife was diagnosed with PEGAD, I thought she was crazy. I didn't believe her. It was, it was rather difficult for her because of the fact that I didn't understand what she was going through. PEGAD. I would have to say the most difficult thing is seeing my wife in pain. And there's nothing I can pain. PEGAD.

Your wife's having a pretty good time, right? Yeah, am I right? I need to help her. For the last three years, the 30 year old mum has struggled to come to terms with her condition and is often left feeling reclusive. Even the school run is a humiliating and distressing or deal. I bet. While you're with your kids or at the school,

it's one of those things where you feel wrong. It almost feels like I'm a lesson. These kids because she's blasting jizz. Because for her orgasms to she'll lay on her back and she spreads her legs and she does work. She does work. She does work. Can you imagine, though, if your mom had PEGAD and your friends found out?

Of course. They would be like always wanting to go down to the kitchen to look and see if your mom was coming. For sure. Every time or I'd be like sleepover, you'd be like, Duncan's house, for sure. For sure, definitely. Tell us a story, Miss Trussell. And then she's like, well, there was one time.

Can you imagine, though, guy getting in trouble. Your friend's mother driving you home, dropping you off at school. You know, what's really neat about this clip is that in the first clip that we discovered of the other man, we were like, how does he take his kid to school? Like your dad's coming at the soccer game again and standing in the sidelines.

That guy basically stays away from his kids. He can't do it. He won't do it because he's just because it's shameful to come around your and he gets like four hour erections. I guess it is. Yeah. And he's just like, he's always coming. So it's like, dad, Duncan's here.

Will you stop coming? Man, think of that. The first president with PEGAD, that's going to be a big moment. The president has got it. The hand on the Bible or the state of the union. And then everybody stands in claps with every orgasm. They always do the applause at the state of the union. Man, that would be a disruptive psychic weapon.

Like if the CIA could come up with an orgasm. Oh, yeah. To make the enemy come so that. Oh, God. That's one of his orgasms. He had one during the interview. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he had multiple during the interview.

He gets down on all fours. He fell to the ground. Oh, God. He's on his hands and knees right now. It's like his dick is sneezing. It's like he's allergic to. That's a great way of putting it. It is like his dick is sneezing.

Dang. Miss E, you always know what to say. Thank you, my child. I don't know what to. Or how would James Smith talk about? Well, you know what I'm saying. Oh, my orgasm. Parents don't notice.

The teachers don't notice. The principal doesn't notice. But because I know I feel like a pervert. Oh, poor thing, poor, poor thing. You pervert needs a spanking. Man, that's so funny. That that that form of pornography that's disguised as information.

Like did you see that is arousing, right? Did you see the South Park episode? They just did a South Park where the kids were trying to get their parents to stop watching Murder porn, which is like forensic files and stuff. Oh, it is. Yeah, you're right.

They disguised it like whoever made this documentary is like, we've got to get this information out to the world. Because so many people need to hear about this point. Nine, nine, nine, nine percent of the population. Yeah, yeah. I think it's point. Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. That's it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, there's like four people in the world. In the world, it's like people need to be informed about vegan. I know we were watching that awful movie, Speed. Like Tom and I like to watch really bad movies on Sunday night. Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, it's so much fun. And there's a scene where they're, you know,

pulling people out of a burning. No, it's the elevator that's stuck between floors. It's a serious scene. It's a peril thing. These people could crash their death and then just out of nowhere, they pull a woman out and they just flash her nice satin panties. And you're like, what is so gratuitous?

She was hot and like, it was to show her sweet ass. Yeah, they probably shot that six times. They probably pulled her out seven times, missed the panties. Can you do it one more time? By the way, shitty movie you guys must watch. If you have the chance, have you seen Christmas Lodge? No. Oh, God, please make that your next movie.

Christmas Lodge. It's like one of these Hallmark style movies where. Oh, yeah. Super Christian. Write that down. Like seventh heaven. Can I tell you the one that just floored me? Was the saint with Val Kilmer.

Oh, you got to see that. What is it? OK, he's a like international spy who he plays. He plays. He will do different disguises and accents and there and he's named and every time he plays a certain spy character, it's named after a saint. You know, like, so it's the same thing. But like, he'll be like sitting in the mirror and he'll be like.

Hmm. Yes. My name is Boris. Boris. Yes. And then it's like he's out and he's, you know, interacting with people as Boris. And then then the next flight he's on, you see him with long hair. He's like, hello, my name is Jorge. And I am me. But it's all the same accent, though. His Jorge and his Boris are identical.

Crazy. That's awesome. Yeah, it's all the same shit. I just like to picture how seriously he took himself in the film. Like, I imagine that all they're like, guys, Val's getting into Boris right now. If you don't mind, you know, like, you know, this was not taken lightly. This was serious shit. Oh, God, that's the to me. I love thinking about when you watch a shitty scene in the movie. I love thinking about the the crew and everyone standing around

who are all mutually hypnotized into believing it's good. Oh, yeah, because their life's riding on it. Oh, yeah. It's over. They're all like, oh, wonderful, wonderful. We're going to make the same part, too, next week. Oh, God, it's so sad. Man, this one's particularly bad. It's really like and you remember, too, that like, that was like a huge star. And then there was kind of a weird, right?

Change in his career, like in the types of films he was doing. Yeah. Kind of when I don't know if he's maybe back to make. But like this, to me, felt like had to be probably one of the big turns. Have you seen his art? No. Yeah, I follow him on Twitter and he posts various his art. Like if you look up Val Kilmer's art, you can see it. He was a stone called Fox in the eighties, though. Top Gun times.

Dude, when I was a little girl, I wanted him to be my boyfriend for reals. He was. Yeah, he was. He was the man. Foxy. You know about the whole Top Gun actually being about gay guys, right? Well, I don't know it. I mean, I've heard people be like, I know that it's popular among gay guys to watch, right? That it's like considered like this is like our gay soft form.

But it's about gay guys. Quentin Tarantino. There's a great clip of Quentin Tarantino breaking down Top Gun. Because he's talking about how movies are all about subversion or subterfuge. Or I think he says subversion. But look, check it out, man. It's great for people who have never, who weren't aware of this. Top Gun is actually is truly when he breaks it down, it's there's no question that he's right.

This is a movie about a guy trying to decide between being straight. Is that him and is that him and talking about it in a movie? Yeah, it's him talking about it in a movie, but it's still just plain. It's it's it's so clear that someone actually did a month. I think it got taken down, but they took this and did Top Gun. What's it really about? What genre does it hit? Well, like it's like the spine.

The spine. One sentence. Like I don't fucking boy meets girl. I don't give a shit about that. Fuck boy meets girl. Fuck motorcycle movie. No, what is really being said? What's really being said? That's what you were talking about, because the whole idea, man, is subversion. You want subversion on a massive level.

You know one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? What? Top Gun. Top Gun. Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? Do you think it's a story about a bunch of fighter pilots? Yeah, it's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.

It is a story about a man struggled with his own homosexuality. That is what Top Gun is about, man. You've got Maverick. All right, he's on the edge, man. He's right on the fucking line. All right, and you've got Iceman and all his crew. They're gay. And they are. They represent the gay man.

All right, and they're saying, go, go the gay way. Go the gay way. Go both ways. I'm not killing McGillis. Tell me, she's she's she's heterosexuality. She's saying, no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way. Play by the rules. Go the normal way. They're saying, no, go the gay way. Be the gay way. Go for the gay way.

Right. That is what's going on throughout that whole movie. What is this party? Who are these people that make me sick? What is that? Who are you? Who are you? Well, what is he wearing? It's some kind of like a go back, a dance jumpsuit, freakish little goucho.

Let's go to Spain and dance with our arms over our heads. He goes to her house, right? All right, it looks like they're going to have sex. You know, they're just kind of sitting back. He's taking a shower and everything. They don't have sex. He gets in the motorcycle drives away. She's like, what the fuck?

What the fuck is going on? Next scene. Next scene. She's in the elevator. She is dressed like a guy. She's dressed like a cowboy. She's got the elevator glasses. She's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. I love it.

She's okay. This is how I got to get this guy. This guy's going towards the gay way. So I got to bring him back. I got to bring him back from the gay way. So I'm going to do that. I'm going to dress like a man. All right. That is how she approaches it.

Right. Okay. Let me ask you what I'm going to digress for just for two seconds here. But I'm with this girl Amy here. She's like, put her down here and everything. Now, she's like a rose. It's almost over yet. Because it's important the last thing they say in the movie.

I was asking my friend. I can't remember. The gay way. Wait till it's the last line. This is a little... Yeah. Somebody is edited. But the real ending of the movie is when they fuck the micks at the end.

All right. Because he has to pass over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force. All right. And they're beating the rushes. The gays are beating the rushes. All right. And it's over. And they fucking land. And Iceman is trying to get Maverick the entire time.

Finally he's got him. All right. And what is the last fucking line that they had together at all? Hugging and kissing and happy with each other. And Ice comes up to Maverick and he says, Man, you can ride my tail. Idiot. You can ride my sword fight. Sword fight.

That's amazing. Wow. That's crazy. I had no idea. Well, I knew that. That's amazing. That was genius. Yeah. Everything's like that.

When you realize everything's like that, everything is this on the surface appears to be this one simple thing. But underneath it, it's just pure subversion. I love that in Reservoir Dogs when Tarantino talks about like a virgin. Oh, this coos, this fuck machine. I don't remember it. You don't remember that? I can't believe I can't remember that.

Oh, it's so fucking unbelievable. I love Reservoir Dogs. I can't believe I can't remember that. Hold on. I got to let you. I can't let you go without that. No, don't. Tarantino is so badass. That's somebody who has watched every single movie

and deeply thought about the whole thing. Oh, man, incredible. He has such a gift for writing, entertaining shit, dialogues. Great. But his characters tend to sound alike. That's my one thing. Also, that weird interview where he talks black. Have you seen that?

No. Well, he kind of, I think he thinks he's got a black past. No, no, no. Have you seen the interview called Quentin Tarantino mysteriously tries to act black? No. After you play this, do we have time to play that? Yeah, sure.

OK, yeah, OK, cool. It's really... Wait, can I pee, though? I have to piss really bad. Oh, OK. Play the thing? For God's sake, I've heard this stuff. Yeah, well, can you text Jessica, too?

Oh, shit, yeah. Like a virgin. Yeah, OK. You play that, I'll go piss. OK, OK. I'll text Jessica. Here we go. Yeah, this is great, man.

This is so great. Here we go. Let me tell you what a virgin is about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. We tire her song. It's a metaphor for big dicks. No, it ain't. It's about a girl who's very vulnerable.

She's been fucked over a few times, and then she meets a guy who's like... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out, Green Bay. Tell that fucking bullshit to the tourists. Toad, who the fuck is Toad? Like a virgin, it's not about some sensitive girl who meets that nice fella.

That's what true glues about. No, granted. No argument about that. This was true glues. No, you ain't heard true glues. Hey, guys, I don't even follow that top to the top shit. And you've never heard true glues. Yeah, so even saying heard of it, you know,

why I asked is how's it go? Excuse me for not being the world's best Madonna. Personally, I can do without her. Thanks for like her early stuff. Borderline, once you get off into that top average phase, I can do that. But you guys are like making me lose my train of thought here. I was saying something.

What was it? Oh, Toby's that little Chinese girl. That was her last name. What's that? It's an old address book I found on a coat I haven't worn on a cruise age. What's that name? What the fuck was I talking about?

It's a true glues about a guy. Tens of girl who meets a nice guy, but like a virgin with a metaphor for big dick. OK, let me tell you what like a virgin's about. It's all about this coos, who's a regular fucking shit. Now I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. How many dicks is that?

A lot. So one day, she meets this John Holmes motherfucker, and it's like, whoa, baby. I mean, this cat is like Charles Bronson in the Bear Escape. He's big in tunnels. All right, now she's getting a serious dick action. And she's feeling something she didn't feel since forever.

Pain. Pain. Chew, Toby Chew. It hurts. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt. You know, her pussy should be bobby on my hand. But when this cat fucks her, it hurts.

It hurts just like it did the first time. You see, the pain is reminding the fucking machine what it was once like to be a virgin. Like a virgin. That's awesome. It's amazing, right? That's awesome. So true, too.

That's so true. It's also an equally valid interpretation of the song. Forget the Tarantino acting like a, acting like, because you know what? It's like whatever. I don't know why he did that. You guys can Google search it if you want. I don't know why he decided to do that on this interview

show, but he's such a badass. I don't want to like end it on disintegrating. Miss E says, why go negative? By the way, we got a Braxton theme song made just for us. I love this. So there's new lyrics to it. I'm so excited. If you guys want to hear it, here it is.

We are your mummies in your genes. We keep them up high so everybody sees. Tommy, Tina, Theo, Top Dog and POP. We'll teach you a thing or two. Your mom's house family values. All right. Yeah. You guys have great fans, man.

You guys have awesome fans. You do. This beautiful painting that you have. Look at all this. People are writing songs for you. This is, you guys deserve it too. You're such cool people. We love it.

You're wonderful humans. It's so nice to hang out here. Well, we're far more hateful than you. I feel like you're a beacon of love and positivity. Oh God, I'm a cunt. I'm an asshole. I'm just trying to like, I put, man, please. No, I am.

Oh God. You have no idea. What do you hate secretly? Like, tell us, what do you most hate for? No, no, no. Give us the truth. You don't hate Hayden Smith. No, no, no.

You found Love and Man. No, I, oh God, everything. Literally, like, if I'm in the wrong, if I have the wrong lens in front of my subjective universe, everything just seems like a seething pile of fraudulent mediocrity. People, terrified humans, desperately trying to escape the inevitable death that waits for all of them,

everyone plunging into the infinite void, pretending that's not gonna happen and putting up a pathetic, awful show of having a personality as a desperate escape hatch to not blend in with the universe and all of us are cowards and the whole thing's a big fraud machine. And so I'll look at,

but really, all I'm thinking about is the way I hate myself. What I just said is me talking about myself. So, because that's what you do is you're like, so really, and once you start realizing, oh, shit, it's not that I think the universe is a place where everyone's behaving like a fraud. It's like, oh, I'm the terrified fraud.

I'm the shit, dick. So yeah, that's what you have to deal with. So that's the root of my neurosis and shittiness, and it just comes out in stupid ways, where I think it's a very subtle thing that happens where you're just like, what is this? I was just talking to my girlfriend and someone's calling, I'm like,

let's see what this idiot has to say. You know, it just popped out, it just popped out. I would actually, it was a friend of mine calling, but it's like, why am I using that language? It's interesting that that, but it's always, I think the answer to that is always that it's not the idiot calling you. It's you, it's you.

It's just the, you know, it's just like, to get back to the idea of like wiping your asshole, you know how important that is and the muskiness of your asshole, in the same way you've got, if like you don't deal with the crusted, karmic, fecal matter surrounding your love nature, then everything that you perceive in the world

is going to be tainted with shit. It's so great, man. That's a really great way of putting that. I'm actually so excited to see what you're going to do next. I really feel like you're, I feel like you could write books. Wouldn't it be great if Duncan got a sitcom?

Like, a dunk. I'm never going to have it. No, NBC, it'll be so funny. But I don't want Duncan to have a sitcom. I want Duncan. I don't want either. I want to go like somewhere where there's a cliff and a beach and see Duncan in front of like,

I don't know how many people just enlightening them. Here's what's wild. Oh, psychic master of the universe. In two weeks, I'm going to Hawaii to a Ram Dass retreat, which is sits on a cliff by the beach. You're, and, and they're, for whatever reason, they're letting me do a podcast for the retreat with Ram Dass. So you just, you're gonna do one with Ram Dass?

It's awesome. I already did one with Ram Dass. I don't know for sure that he's going to show up, but it's, but if not with him, it'll be with, you know, oh shit, man, you know what you guys should do? I've been doing these podcasts with Jack Cornfield. He's this Buddhist teacher. He's just an amazing human.

I did one with, with him. I had Natasha do one with him and Pete Holmes did one with him, but it's like getting comedians, because we're all kind of neurotic freaked out people to sit and talk to somebody who's been practicing, actively practicing Buddhism for their entire life. Who's like, who's literally spent, like once he was telling us how he spent a year

not talking, a year, he didn't talk for a year, a year. Think about that. He didn't talk for a fucking year, but the guy just radiates this beautiful energy. And anyway, he comes into town to do these. You guys should be the guests on this show. Oh, I would love to. Are you kidding me?

It would be so cool to watch you guys interact and chat. Would love. So cool, but yeah, I would love to do that. But there's so much. You're so cool again. That's so your lane, dude. Oh my God. You're gonna do so many great things.

Oh, thanks, man. Thank you very much. You're awesome. Thank you. We want to remind our listeners, you can always go to yourmomshousepodcast.com to view all the clips. People always ask for the clips from the audio files

and it keeps growing. The library keeps growing. All the clips are there. I'm sorry, the what? The library, excuse me. Thank you. Keeps growing. There's new stuff in the store.

If you're looking to get some Christmas gifts, there's a new shirt that's there. Cops are all bald and shit. That's cops are bald and they have the, there's a ton of other things there. And of course, our Amazon banner and we have- That shirt looks, I'm sorry to interrupt, but that shirt is badass.

Oh, that was good. I saw your cops are, I thought it said cops are bad though. No, cops are bald. I gotta get my, my vision's fucked up. Cause I remember like thinking like, man, they're really, I didn't realize they were like, like, cops are bald. But the shirt looks great.

The design is awesome. Thanks, man. That's a story merchandise. They do great work and the Theo 24 seven shirt is there. The new mug. Don't get it. Bristol stool, chart mug. Also check Duncan trestle out next week on my show.

That's deep bro. We get even crazier. Duncan trestle.com. He has a couple- Duncan trestle family hour. Yes, the family hours, the podcast, but he'll be in Houston the 24th and 25th of January. Other Austin and Dallas,

but those dates aren't up yet, but I'll have those dates up on my website. Fantastic. And I think that's, I mean, you'll be doing that whole, that truffle thing, right? The truffle act will be there. Oh yeah, man.

I'm gonna, it's a new thing I've added, but I'm gonna jerk off a pig. Yeah, that's really cool. Wow. I mean, if- That's neat. I can't, that's worth-

You don't get a sitcom off of that. I don't know. Well, I think that's worth- Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. That's a chip. Whenever something really exciting happens, we pour chips in a bowl.

Oh, I thought it was applause. No, it's chips in a bowl. Awesome. All right. Anything else, Jeans? No, thanks for being here, Duncan. Thanks for having me. You're the best, dude.

You guys are the best. Thank you very much. Thank you. I've been smoking like a mother for a while. I run LA basically south of the 10th. Feed me sandwiches. Pats all the time. Balls licked.

Gets a barbecue. I'm the old guy, damn date. Run the shit south of the 10th. 10 times 10 with a S on the N. From the hundreds black and with a Vodka. Jeans, I don't play around these parts, you know what I'm saying? Please run the shit south of the 10th. 10 times 10 with a S on the N.

From the hundreds black and with a Vodka. Jeans, I don't play around these parts, you know what I'm saying? I'm a wild animal. Stab you in your sleep. Get your ass out of my face. Respect my privacy. I don't feel nothing. I get what I need.

I'm a weirdo. I'm a do-it-all scythe and gas from your teeth. I've been outside. You ain't shit. I piss the shit where I want. You better not forget I kind of damn y'all lazy. I never stop hustling. Give me something to kiss or they got to pay up.

You can get kidnapped if you're under my care. Better show mother fuckers respect. Yeah, of course not a little bit. New Corvettes, what I do, that's what I've been doing. You can not disrespect me. Can not ask mother fuckers black and white. Pineapples and big apples just get your shit done. 24 was seven.

Who's number one more? Who's number one shit south of the pain? 10 times playing with your ass on the aim. From the hundreds black and with a Vodka. Jeans, I don't play around these parts, you know what I'm saying? Who's number one shit south of the pain? 10 times playing with your ass on the aim. From the hundreds black and with a Vodka.

Jeans, I don't play around these parts, you know what I'm saying? You act like I didn't live outside for three years. I live outside. Caught stepping up the game. Yo, when the fuck are we going back to the dog park? I have people. Chihuahua, goofy Gert, Labrador's. I'm the all god damn day for day for day.

God damn day for night!