Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Episode 66 Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: October 17, 2016

Tommy and Tina announce a big plan for international shows! Get ready, Africa! They talk Top Dog as well as Tom's sister and mother complete with tons of impressions - hold on to your nuts, fans of impressions! Dental Update galore with your listener emails including one that includes a breakthrough innovation (that will surely earn him billions)! We talk about sober braggers - who never shut up about their soberness - smoke some crack already, will ya?!? AND the moment you've all been waiting for, will we finally find the answer to the question that philosphers have been asking for YEARS - Where The Dudes At? Casey joins us for a very emotional conversation. Would You Rather makes a return! Grab some tissues and rejoice in your mommyhood!!

Done done done done done done done, but that Duggy fresh is in the studios with us today and Bismarck heat welcome To this episode of your own mother's house Your own woman who bore you is that how you say it bore you yeah burst you bore you I think bore you's right Right, there's ways to say things sometimes you don't know how to say them no Sam you go That's how you say it she half bore you hmm Well, it has begun. This is the M.I.A.O. episode

We are officially on vacation Hustling hustling down in the 305 taking it easy, but of course we're dropping an episode up into your ass So when you hear this episode you this is actually from the past And now it's in your ear holes in your present time, but we recorded this we cheated a week ago Yeah, but just make sure we have something to give you that's why cuz we're not We're not assholes. We did it out of love you guys. It's in your best interest. Oh That was a good one So we're chilling we're laying on the beach

We see we talked all our things send us an email you guys we're at your mom's podcast at gmail.com Is it that difficult why oh you are mom's Podcast at gmail.com. Let us know what's going on. Tell us about what Jesus you like Let's see When you hear this I will be I will be almost going to Richmond, Virginia come and see me the Richmond funny bone July 19 through 22 oh my stars chocolate city get at me Let's have some fun

in Richmond, Virginia and then August rolls around we have a big big news and people have asked us before One of you guys going to do some international shows What are the what's the thing people ask us most the question we get asked most? When are you gonna do Durban, South Africa? When are you gonna go to the continent of Africa? What are you gonna do stand up in Johannesburg and guess There's an answer to that question

August 9th through 27th. This isn't a joke. No joke. Christine and I found out today. We're doing South Africa Crazy are doing South Africa. We're doing the comedy festival. I couldn't be more excited We'll we'll we'll give more details as we get closer Do any of you live in South Africa is one of the questions Well, I mean that'd be neat if we ran into somebody that listens to the show that's also in South Africa We're coming. We're gonna be in Durban and we're gonna be in Johannesburg and we're gonna be listen Even even if you live in the United States buy your ticket to Johannesburg. Oh, that's the thing Come see us. We looked it up. It is dirt cheap

And it's quick. It's like a fast flight. It's easy to get to It's gonna take us five years to get there from Atlanta. We don't live we live in LA so LA to Atlanta is four hours Atlanta direct to Johannesburg is 15 hours It's so that's 19 hours if you just take two flights Most of the flights are routing you through somewhere else. It's 16 hours and 10 minutes from Johannesburg back to Atlanta There's yeah, what was that a little welcome. I think that was one of them That was something on the boards. I don't know what that was. I hope it smells. Oh good You're still in it and just like I like you farted earlier in the living room and it smelled like garbage

Yeah, like hot garbage. I think you got to take a boom-boom pretty soon, but babe How crazy that we're gonna go to stand up together. I can't fucking believe it in South Africa I can't believe it and let's tell them the truth. How about how long have I told you? I wanted to go to South Africa since I've known you I've always wanted to go literally It's been Tom's dream since we met back when we for for certain Okay, it's high too many skittles. I got excited When you first met one of the first things you told me was how you wanted to go to South Africa And that should be a trip you and I take but it's so expensive like who the fuck can go to South Africa

So when this happened take it is to grand. Yeah, and then you're there and you got to spend another million Yeah, forget it too expensive. We we never dreamed we would be able to go. So this is like a huge pretty cool wonderful So that's yeah, and there's no cynicism or anything that I'm really yeah, I'm really really excited to go I'm happy babe. I'm happy for I was really excited for you when I got the thing like oh my god Yeah, I know and I'm excited to see a good part of Africa cuz I'm I'm I got to see like war zones cuz I did military bases Yeah, so I've seen like Somalia. Yeah, and like a diesel bar when I say they're overnight Yeah, I'm so thrilled the yeah, we're gonna be on the coast there for a while. It'll be fun So we'll take a little video. What do you say? We we say we start the show fucking start

It's all right Africa time. It's our show we can do whatever we want Blow me up Tom nothing is better than Drake one and God's face. I'm only built for Cuban links Tom Wow Real gassy fired up. I'm fired up for this episode man. I'm excited. We got a lot to cover a lot of shit to cover It's fucking get into a need of it. You know I'm saying yeah, man Just do this Jesus Christ

What is going on? Is it the dinner we just had? Yeah? Yeah, absolutely. It was good. It was really good real good I appreciate that you put love and Hearts and kisses into it. I know I try to be nice to every now and then yeah, that was real nice I try to pamper my bear when we're home together. I had a busy day. Let's let's get into it man. I Shot the album cover so my new album. Yeah, I have the I shot it all day I already got some tempest from the photographer look awesome looking rad. I'm very excited people have asked me When I was gonna release it I was gonna release it

at the beginning of August I feel like With the South African news It's kind of a ways to release it and then leave the continent. So I might put it off until I get back It's a good idea. So yeah, you gotta promote it. Yeah tour around You want to you want to go on TV and say I got this new thing Like you press the button everything goes fine So I want to do that. You can't do that in Africa. They'll be like So I'm gonna try to

Crazy, yeah, I'm gonna do that. But anyways, I also Kind of a big deal. Yeah after the photo shoot They went very well, and I'm very excited about I went and picked up the top dog t-shirts. Yeah, buddy We're both sport and one right now. I'm gonna wear this shit all of next week Oh, I'm already I'm gonna wear it for the the entire week. I'm gonna be in New York Guess what if you ordered one you are gonna receive your by time This airs you should definitely already everybody who ordered one if you were if you ordered it before July 3rd you should have it. Oh everybody that didn't already order one

Join the squad get on the team And I think it's mandatory when you listen to your mom's house to be wearing your top dog t-shirt. It's so awesome The uniform here's the best thing by the time you hear this We will probably have seen top dog and I can't oh my god. That's right. We should do We should record for when we hand him the shirt. Yeah, he's gonna shit himself. Literally He's gonna shit himself record his reaction to him being like That's exactly it's gonna say He's gonna say the top dog. Yeah

Wait, what's there here wait down? What's that mean? Let's do the same. What's happening? What's that mean? Sure? He doesn't know his own thing Remember anything they'll be like your ma ma your mom's It's just top dog. He's gonna go right back to his thing What'd he be like Tommy what where's your mother on this thing? Your mom doesn't want to be involved. He's like yeah, your mom's not happy. You know a couple lumps. It didn't like that She's like that but she's apparently not not too fond of what we're doing right now. Oh boy. Yeah, she Apparently when I posted or you posted it, but then I reposted

The episode about him shooting in pants. I wrote I posted like on my Facebook page. I was like, hey I'm check out my dad shit his pants and I was there to record it So somebody Somebody back home saw that and then they told my sister My sister told my mom My mom was like He's I'm a feeling if anybody really knows your dad they know that that's part of his life. I can take a shit

Yeah, I know he enjoys it. Yeah, it's not a secret in the sagura Sometimes some broads like my mom and that the ones that are cut from that cloth. They really are different They don't yeah have joy. They don't find joy in this kind of stuff My dad's joy is to call me sometimes just be like took a real nice glider came out That's another category a glider glider a glider is when it just kind of you know It just kind of shoots out smooth and it goes right to the bottom of the bowl. That is a glider Yeah, and I go. Oh, that's great day. He's like, yeah, I gotta go buddy He just called me till he took a nice shit. Yeah, and then he's back at it back to life

And that's why this shirt commemorates as the podcast has top dog And it has it has the slogan wipe down Yeah, and you know what it also has the color of our proud nation I had what a but in what a great month to release this thing. Yeah, it's kind of perfect timing right before The July 4th holiday and all the month of July and look we're not I want to make it clear We're not trying to push don't like if you don't want this thing. I'm definitely not encouraging this show is free It's all about being free, of course And you don't have to buy one and I don't care if you don't if you don't sign up for stuff

And you don't do that. That's totally cool, man This really is genuine excitement because we're just really excited to have this thing Yeah, I think it's something like you first of all, you know top dog's been in well my life for the last eight years your life your Entire life. Yeah, and he's such a sweet special soul and to commemorate him with his t-shirt Oh, it's awesome. I mean we've but we've wanted to make him like hats and shit in the past top dog this, you know He's gonna say like I can't can you send me a couple more buddy? He's gonna say like dad these things cost money. Just gonna make a couple more buddy. Okay. Thanks What will he do with the extras? I feel like he's gonna help probably give one to one friend here. We're like

He's so fun So blessed mm-hmm But thank God you and him have that because I feel like you know the the girls in the house are not down for the brown No, the way that you and him Yeah, you and he share like when you come home To Florida he'll like buddy. I got you some toilet paper. Oh, he's so Yeah, he didn't he build that special toilet for you and No, he didn't buy a special toilet, but he had he does do toilet paper runs for me

He's like new you're coming. I got I got I got 18 rolls. Yeah, buddy triple flasher. Yeah I know there's gonna be some big ones and my mom goes keep please She just likes Wu Tang and then basically nothing else. I know it's so weird that she's so into them I know it's so she likes playing bridge and listening to the Wu Tang clan and just is obsessed with both I'm kind of excited to see them in Florida. Yeah, it's gonna be fun We're gonna see them and hopefully we'll get some you know get them to at least have a conversation with us about something something exciting, you know Sounds like a dental update You know, it's been a really long time

Since we've done this mm-hmm, you know what time it is Dental update time going on with your teeth my teeth are pretty good I have to say I'm kind of worried because I've been eating a lot of candy a lot of Skittles I'm not brushing immediately, but I've been flossing like a champ Me too. Yeah, you too. Oh my god. My whole floss game has been out of control, man Yeah, well, I have to tell you once you get used to flossing after every meal it becomes a challenge not to Today I had some beef ribs When you were gone and I immediately had a floss after for me

It's been a process of you know from being a non-flosser to being the nightly flosser now I'm flossing midday. Yep. I'm flossing after all kinds of meals. It doesn't have to be oh I'm ready for bed Uh-huh. It doesn't have to be I used to be do I feel something with my tongue? Nope not anymore It's just right to the floss you got to go. Can you believe there is a time when you didn't know I don't like to think about it There's smells Oh There are smells The thing oh my god out of from between teeth to me

Smells oh my oh throw up when I've walked by a dead animal. Oh dead animals in the Sun Carcass is cooking in the Sun. You're like, oh that possum got hit by a truck That it's right. It smells like and that's after one fucking meal in your mouth Overnight you kiss people you talk to people I kiss multiple people I kiss 25 How many people do you kiss? Did you kiss? I kiss 25 people a day easily man? Well, I got a an update from T. Chessman. Yes. She's our fan. I ate aging punk 101 Mm-hmm good friend of the podcast and she wrote with a dental update

She said she clenched so hard in her sleep that she cracked a muller Shit, I didn't know you could crack a muller grinds her teeth. She grinds right yeah Yeah, and then and then just to get a night guard muller. Yeah, me man I didn't know I cracked a muller on a piece of pepper But that's because the muller was already full of a filling that was too big for it Like it was gonna be replaced eventually. I wonder if if this is what happened to her She's got a strong jaw. Here's something you don't want to do that girl You don't want to put your pinky in her mouth and say hey, I bet you can't bite my finger off

You definitely don't want to do that. I wouldn't put my finger in her mouth. She will chomp that thing right up Sometimes I think I do grind do I do you ever hear me doing that or anything? No Do I make any sounds in my sleep? Sometimes you'll go like That's it. Well when I'm eating ribs in bed No, I've heard you per I've heard you per there's in years and eight years I've heard your neck like when your neck's been contorted. Yeah, you've made like a little like Like that, but you don't make noise like a kitten, right? You don't you're silent Scariest person to sleep next to I shared hotel rooms with Charlie. Yeah, holy shit

He snores and grinds his teeth and it is the most horrifying combination of noises. I mean, it's it's the the peak of snored them with And you're in it freaks you and I'm like, dude, how does how does your wife sleep next to you? What I mean, I will he woke up and he was like, dude You have earphones on you have a shirt over your eyes and you have something in your mouth I'm like, yeah, I'm trying to like not snore. I'm trying to keep your snores and grindings out of my ear I'm trying to keep the sun out of my eyes. I'm I'm a devil Yeah, I sleep like a crazy person. Are you keep you can sleep next to me, right? I mean I move a lot

That's not a problem. Yeah, I have another email a dental update from a And are you done with that one? Yes, that's it. So this email says hi mommies I hope this electronic mail finds you an exemplary bowel health. Hmm. Thank you I wanted to let you know about a dental discovery. I made on my drive home. I Have a long commute so I floss at red lights Good for you today. Waited multitask. I took both ends of my floss in the same hand pulled it by the center in the other hand gave it a twist and Flossed with a double thick piece of floss

It's like a discovery I've never even heard of such a thing I immediately thought my mommies and made sure you were the first to know I'm probably going to become quite rich and famous Rest assured though, I will always have the time for my mommies Wow Continue the search for the dudes with my jeans so high and tight Mike Rodden in Portland. Wow Mike. What a revelation. I didn't even know such a thing was possible You guys I hope you paid attention there. You can I've never thought to do that mean either you can put twice the amount of floss Between your teeth that you thought you could I didn't know this goes for other things you can take toilet paper Yeah, fold it in six

Shove it up your ass you can eat two hot dogs at the same time put them both in your mouth take seven q-tips Put rubber bands and twine around them put that in your ear You'll clean so much quicker and softer. Wow use nine thirteen q-tips at a time Now I wonder if doubling up makes the process faster I don't know. I think Mike's onto something. I think he is. It's genius So I'm gonna keep cleaning my teeth and I hope you do as well. This has been a dental update brought to you by Forever

By us by us dentists like it dentists agree I did meet a dentist by the way who is a listener by a mommy fan. Oh, yeah, and One time I was what I was worried that I was flossing too hard because my gums were kind of bloody Yeah, I was really getting in there. Your eyes are like blood bleed a lot too My eyes bleed all it's but that's not a big deal, right? It's perfectly healthy. It's a sign of good health And he said it's normal as long as you're flossing up and down he said then that's okay So it's just you can't make any side-to-side motions Now I wonder if doubling up is okay though now that I think about it

Is that too much floss for one area? Yeah We gotta ask Your dentist let us know Yeah, let's um, let's let's find out is Mike doing something wrong. They should he have never started using double floss Is that okay to do to I don't know I don't know I floss in the car I floss in the member when I floss in the movies when we we were Together at the movie theater and I floss we saw that Wes Anderson movie important man popcorn You always want to floss after yeah, can we talk about this? I think we were talking about this the other day

And I forgot to the if you don't Drink alcohol or smoke weed or do drugs and that is your only Source of pride But could you keep it down? Could you write it on a piece of paper and not yap about it all the time? Yeah, I'm meeting people all the time now. I don't drink I don't smoke I Don't I don't need it Hey, good for you. Yeah good for you, man. Yeah, guess what I don't booze it up day and night

I don't I don't even drink every week, but when I do I don't want to hear somebody telling me How great they are because they don't now I realize people have some people have addictions and and if you had that and you quit That's a good man. That's good. You go to maybe you go to You know AA or NA or one of those things. That's awesome. But do you I'm not being I'm not joking about that That's great. Right. But do you think that's why those people aren't drinking though? Like the meeting people that are like, I never have never tried it. That's that's what I'm not talking about You're so you've gone sober. I'm talking about the people who are like never tried it. You know my whole life Never tried it. Yeah, so what man? I don't I don't really care. I don't think that that's

I don't know. Is it worthy of praise? Like is that what it is? It's not really I don't think it's amazing I really don't that you've never tried it. Why do I care that you've never well? I have to think that that's actually not the norm and you should you shouldn't really be proud of it because it's Abnormal to not have tried that as an adult come on like if you haven't tried alcohol Maybe usually people like parents that were drunks and it's a big deal, but fine. Keep it inside Yo, you know who doesn't drink internalize it and show business who pen Gillette good for him And he is but he's so fired up. I feel like he could he ever done it a joint or a beer I don't know if he's tried it or not drugs come on. No pink, but I know no actually sorry

No, I heard him on Marin's podcast saying that he's never never tried alcohol or drugs because I think his mom was a real booze bag Well, that happens but like he's very but he's also very fired up and if somebody asked you about it I think that's reasonable that you talk about it. Yeah when you sit down and you tell people for no reason whatsoever Oh, yeah, you know what it's like. It's like people who tell you about a large purchase They made when you weren't talking about it. I mean when you're like Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna get I think I'm gonna get the chicken sandwich, but I don't I've never had it here What are you gonna get? You know, I just bought a Porsche Good for you asshole. Okay

What do you want would you want to have lunch still or yeah, we're gonna talk about that you spent 90 grand Yeah, I think it's a is obnoxious as the people that have very strict eating requirements Yeah, like I can't you know, we can't go here because I have a gluten allergies And then I'm vegan and I'm a pescatarian and I can't have a hormone I can only have hormone free beef So we have to go and it's like, you know what life cannot cater to you all the time Yeah, and if you don't if you don't come from a family that has addiction issues Try some pills. It's pretty good. Smoke something. Yeah smoke something hard core. Yeah, try it try a drink. Yeah, it's good

It's fun. Yeah, I think it is strange. Hey guess what I've never had fun before What are you guys talking about if you're guys talking about having fun I've never done it before Because I feel like there were nerds in high school like Shawna and I we used to drink and do all that stuff and Like there were just kids in like the Christian groups that that wouldn't do any of that stuff and you know, they weren't banging either They weren't doing anything But you're like, oh, do you just grow up and you stay a nerd? Is that what happens? Like you're just afraid of life Yeah, I think it might be a fear thing a fear of losing control. Oh, yeah, I'm thinking that's a big part of it

Yeah, but like what it what kills me. It's like it's not part of what we're talking about Yeah, they just wait so they're dropping it like so anyways pass the salt. I don't draw. I'm not a drinker I choose not I've never I've never had a drink or or touch the drugs in my life. You know, yeah good for you That's cool And then like I think they want you to go never right. Oh, right Never cigarettes. Mm-hmm beer. No, nothing nothing like that's ever been inside my body Get the fuck out of here. Well, congratulations. You know, I've never done run a marathon Oh boy, you think that's interesting that I've never done that before

Jesus Boring the shit out of me with your Your stories what I but that what what angers me I get angry at that too because it's like don't You shouldn't get a medal for being a square. Yeah, you know what I mean like all right good for you You're fucking square. Enjoy yourself. Yeah, but what bothers me more is the the high maintenance Traveler the high maintenance person You know what I mean? Like they take too long to do things They take forever to order. They don't like the way the restaurant does this

Yeah, do you have it non-dairy cheese? If I'm with somebody like that if they order something and they go like, um Well, I would like to order the uh, I can kill myself even listening to you do this How do you prepare that? Oh Yeah, um, could you do that but without the the butter sauce? And then also if you could if you could uh, had those vegetables could you saute those? Yeah, and but just no cauliflower because I don't like that and then also could you add, you know, some I don't I don't I'll just you have rice if you could add rice to that. I like to listen to that person

Order and see that like the server be like, okay, and then I go all the same thing the way it comes on the menu All right, exactly as you do you guys make it here at your place of business That's how I'll take it the way the way that you do it because this is what you do for a living The chef that's prepared the menu so that it tastes good. No, no, no, no substitutions. None. None Can I tell you that I respect restaurants that are like go fuck yourself? You can't Oh, that was like a booger one from revenge the nerds. Yeah, that was pretty good I agree though. It really bothers me. There's that burger place that does that. It's uh, well known for that here In LA. Oh, yeah, which one father's office? Oh, I've never been there, but I yeah, I've heard of it

Yeah, it's in culver city and they're famous. They have like they're really well known for like really great burgers Right. It's a little like it's a higher end kind of joint for burgers And they have different ones and if you're like, I'll have this one But I don't want cheese. They're like go fuck your mother. Yeah, that's how it should be Well, you know why it should be that way because you're in their house, right? Okay, you you signed up for this experience the culinary culinary Lulunary yeah experience and if that's how the chef whose job it is to feed people Want you to fucking eat it?

Eat that fucking me But however the one thing I will say is if you have allergies Some people legit have like peanut allergies or shit like that then don't order the fucking dish Maybe I think it's great if a place goes we don't care. I like that. Yeah, that makes me really happy Yeah, it's kind of like if some guy's gonna sit on your face and he's like chew my ass What do you go? There's no option Right if I wanted if I want to get through this, right? If nothing starts you just got to eat that ass like you would a hot dog or a burger

Absolutely the way you order it every time That's a fucking loopy man. No people are weird though That feels good to get that off my chest. I want to say that for can I tell you though? I had the saddest experience on an airplane Not a sat it was happy and sad like you know, um You know like I I love to assess people before I get on an airplane I can kind of tell what's going on with folks. I think I'm a pretty good judge. You know, I can look at um Like there was this guy and he looked kind of like howard stern if howard stern had like a

A gray greasy pony tail who's real tall and skinny And he was a he looked like a wag like a total weird alone guy, you know And he gets on the plane. He sits right behind me. Yeah, and I mean, I listen I don't judge people I like I'm interested in people but I don't I don't fucking judge really on some things I do But um, he got he sat next to this woman who was like around his age and really attractive You know, it's 50-something year old woman and this guy I don't think he's talked to another human being for like years

He downloaded to her like everything and it's this two and a half hour flight Um, I mean, I know everything about him. I know that his brother and him don't talk I know that his parents are weird I know that he dj's at this place in Santa Monica on Tuesdays just from being on a goddamn Yeah, and the poor guy I just I just you just know I was waiting for him Like oh, please put the move on this woman like close the deal man Like you got her like get her number and he didn't do it. He didn't fucking do it That's sad. By the way, you know, what's what's funny is that when you don't care

Like when you're not trying to pick up somebody you realize how easy it is I guess yeah, no when you sit there when you're sitting there watching that guy Yeah, you get to go like Dude just ask for the number just go for it. She's into you right like like because you don't have that internal pressure But you also can see it for what it is. You like she'll give you the number Totes like just fucking just ask for the number if you're listening and you think dude go for it There's there's it's not it's not a long life There's only one just go for it man

And the and she wasn't trying to blow him off like she was genuinely interested And all like this and he was like kind of a like I said like a waggy fucking Dude who's into like very specific subculture type shit, you know, he likes comic book things and he likes his You know Arti movies with subtitles and this broad was totally into it. Yeah, man. That's sad Well, oh, what can you do? I hope they find love. Hey, what are you gonna do? I don't know What are you gonna do?

Anyways, can we too? Can we talk about? um the dudes Babe, you don't just drop something like that on me out of nowhere I believe we have a pretty colossal All right, so this is pretty yeah, this is pretty massive So to the longtime listeners of the show You know what this is about, you know My good friend and it's a famous story from our show, right? It's I mean this is

This goes back from like season one. This is the beginning of one. Yeah when I told the story of my friend Casey And we were in college and the guy We got a party asked him where the dudes were at And then Casey came and told me like I just asked me where the dudes are at And I told the story that was those obviously the the summary of it But I told the full-length story on the show one time and then everybody that listens to the show

That has a twitter account tweeted Casey. Yeah, I gave out his his well. We kind of told him to no, absolutely No, they didn't they didn't do on their own. I'm owning responsibility so He got thousands of tweets about and they were very You guys are very funny and you very cleverly worded and asked Where the dudes are at and asked him like I'm going to portlands weekend. I mean, would you know anywhere? I could find any dudes

And they were you guys are internationally asking him about dudes And it was very funny and I thought you know This is a great bit like this is fun. I'm having I'm really having a good time with this We made shirts where the dudes at shirts that are no longer up, but we had them for a while and um One day I went To Casey's twitter and I couldn't access it any longer. What why what happened? And then another time I went back and it's not that I couldn't access it. It was no longer there Oh, dear

So anyways, I haven't talked to him much lately. I called him the other day And I first made a setup call and I go can I call you back? And record the call and he said yeah, and you're gonna hear we go through we we have a full arc um It starts off and There's definitely some hostility. Okay, and uh, you know We just listen. Okay. I have not heard this. So you haven't heard time for me too. This is brand new. This is my buddy um

Casey and you know, we uh, this is us reconnecting basically We have we have you haven't spoken. You know not much Since since this whole thing went down not much very very little a couple texts put a strain on the friendship a little bit I feel like it did. Yeah, so I talked to him and uh, I was able to record it and this is what I got And I will stop it along the way, you know, because Sorry, we have the ringing in there. It's for theatrical suspense. Yeah Okay, thank you for that Well, welcome back

This show man. You haven't been on in forever really separate recording. This is gonna be too. Thanks for doing this Don't don't sound so enthused You might You might Usually you're welcome or so or something that sounds a little muffled and I'm sorry about that. What's he saying? We're both kind of talking over each other, but I'm basically like Hey, thanks for doing this and he's like yep, and I'm like, all right Thanks a lot and he goes usually people say like you're welcome like for joining you that kind of thing like that. Oh

You're welcome You might not know this but you're one of the most requested and talked about um, you know former segment people ask about you all the time and You know, you were featured on the show we called infamous

where the dude's that story and then You left me a message that was played on the show where you said that that was bullshit and then You left and people want to know where you went. So it's hoping you could you know Tell people what's up Uh, what do you want me to say man? Uh, see how but that's that's yeah, he's not into this, right? He's not into the fun of it. Yeah, he's he's a little guarded Little guarded, but he doesn't know what to do and by the way for anyone that's listening

If you joined us later on in this show and you're wondering like is this true? I've gotten emails tweets Comments like what's up with kasey? Everybody asked me are we ever going to find out about the dudes all this? Because the problem is like kasey is the only one who really knows right so and you know No, one's gonna have peace until kasey tells us we're trying to get there, but there's a big guarded wall Yeah, he starts to start this. He doesn't want to give it up I don't know. I don't want to answer that You didn't go anywhere, but I mean like, you know, you were um

You were hit up on twitter a lot like, you know, you left, right? Like you so I just you can talk shit to me. I'm not gonna Quit this around you. You just you know people ask about you So why don't you already say I'll have get all my Can I drop my twitter account? Don't you want me to say? I don't want you to say I'm just asking you a straight up question. I thought you would I didn't know So you could just go away Where did I go? It's not a straight up question. I mean because you already know you were at this

I'm still right here. I'm still C8 dollar signy I don't I don't follow your amount of questioning. I don't know what you would he's being evasive That's exactly the word I was gonna use. Yeah, he's avoiding because before I said it I set it up. I go. Can I call you and can I like ask you? Like get an update. Yeah. I mean obviously with regards to our show You know people know you in one capacity. So like fucking, you know, you're cool there, right? Yeah Then I go. So what's I don't know what you want me to say

Oh, so he he doesn't know if he's supposed to be doing a bid or no, no He's just like I don't like he doesn't want to participate. Right, but he told me he was okay to call Right, okay. It doesn't make sense. Why is he doing this? At this point? I really feel like this is about to head south Okay, okay, I'm like this is not going well and this is not going to end well. Yeah Okay You know, you know, I don't really want to be a part of this anyway, so I'm not sure why you want to pursue it Well, that's why I asked you if it was cool to call you and ask you this stuff I said you could talk to me

You said shoot the shit. So I said talk shit like you could talk shit to me Yeah, what I was in my mind what I was giving him the opportunity to do Was to lay down on me like you were an asshole Right for the way to do and for telling people to tweet me and all this like I was we're gonna hash it out And I was gonna play it for it like give him His side right say whatever you want, right? And he's just like I don't want to do this. Yeah

like You can you could say whatever you want to say To me. I thought you were you know You were game for that Well, I can do that. I mean, but that's not I don't I don't really want to do it Tom. I don't want to Oh, dear. Yeah, I don't know. I don't want to reignite something that I was hoping to go away Oh I got you. All right

what What can I ask you about I don't know, but I mean, I don't want to continue this way to do that thing so people continue to track me down and Try to figure out what to do Uh-oh, I think you just restarted it It's so much better when he says it and I like what he says it He says it Yeah, yeah

It's like he was meant to say that it was like he was born to say that phrase, you know I thought we could talk about it like What happened because it was you know, it was a significant part of the show Like it's over. It's not it's not reignited So I just tomorrow all of a sudden nobody's gonna be like, oh What'd you say? No, you're off of twitter. No one's gonna no one's gonna

Do that to you because you're not there anymore. Yeah, like that that makes sense Yeah, he was like it's gonna reignite, but you you left and I don't want you listen if you listen to the show He really is a dear friend of mine. And I don't you can send it to us. Absolutely. Send it to Christina. Send it to me Do whatever you want with it, but just don't try to bother him. I don't want to bother him Well, you can't he's not on twitter anymore. There's no access to to kasey about this, but don't try to find like just leave him alone Yeah, but it you know, it is funny to hear him say that though. I like to hear him say the phrase I just tomorrow all of a sudden nobody's gonna be like, oh What'd you say?

No, you're off of twitter. No one's gonna no one's gonna do that to you because you're not there anymore Well, I know Come on. I just I don't I don't want that to be the basis of Whatever this is. I don't I don't want to be a part of it that way. He's hating it. No Okay, all right. No, I'm not trying to Order you into something. I thought look the this is I'm just I'm just telling you straight up the part of the show That you are known for from our show is from that segment and then people hit you up on twitter a bunch and then You left twitter, right? You deleted your account

correct So all I was asking was like You know if we could talk about that, but you don't want to talk about that No, but I mean No, I mean, yeah, what we just talked about so I mean, I'm not sure what We can talk about it. I don't you I don't you want me what is your you this is your first time here? What do you think of it? I think he doesn't want to say why I think he doesn't want to get into it he kind of just wants to let it go and

You know, but I get his side of it. You know, he's got a life and he's a he's got a day job And yeah, yeah, I know but he's not saying reminds me a lot of that by the way too And I don't I'm not I don't ignore that like Sometimes like when this was at a tight he was like I know that like this is funny to you This is your show But like I have my own life. Yeah, it's not amusing to me and I respect that I really do Yeah, of course, which is why you know, we don't give him a ton of shit for it But but this there is something he did that I thought that was shocking and I say it here in a moment

So I'll just play this for you You kind of want me to get upset and be like, oh, you're doing my No, no, not at all, man Well, no way. Oh, that's right. I don't know what you what do you want to talk about you just restate of it. So Yeah, yeah, you you made it a part of your show and there was a lot of I'm Wanted activity on twitter and so I decided to this for me to figure out twitter because I didn't want to be a part of Okay, but you're not upset with me. I thought we talked about this and you said you weren't upset

No, let me just sound upset Well, no, but well, there's kind of some well I wouldn't say you're upset, but I would I'd say that there's it feels like there's a little Um, hostility You know like passive No No, it's not it's not there at all. There's some frustration, but I mean it's just It's not that big of a deal. I don't twitter

I don't Me having to take a you're in my twitter account doesn't affect my life so much the way it's not I wasn't my goal man. I didn't want you to get rid of I wasn't trying to do that to you You know, I really wasn't man. It was it was just annoying. Well, there was a point where you got all Kim Kardashian was like, I can't believe you blocked me on twitter. I mean that was I felt like I was on That was Dude, that was crazy of you and you're saying that I got Kim Kardashian That's crazy, man

You blocked me one of your good friends. We've been like we're at each other's wedding. So you blocked me on twitter I did think that was significant. Yeah, I did No, I believe you like it was one thing if you're like, this is annoying But like when you if you block somebody then you don't do that like usually to your friends, right? Yeah, you're really good friends with case. Yeah, so I try to explain him that because he was like, it's not a big deal I was like it is It is man. Like it's I'm not trying to say Twitter is significant. I'm saying the act of blocking somebody. Yeah, especially you. Yeah

Me I did. Yeah, you don't think that's crazy Yeah, I don't think that's crazy Why not? Why would you block one of your good friends? because All the interaction on twitter was pretty much just longer jokes back and forth and so And you also adding you also adding fuel to the fire Hold on. That's a good point. You just say you also add fuel to the fire. That's all where to do that thing. So That was the decision I made to your point. If we're if we're friends and if we're good friends

I I don't think that me and you not having twitter communications is really that big of a deal But you know, you're not acknowledging that like, you know people block people that are like That they don't want any interact with that's why you blocked them. It's like this fucking guy Anything to do it and you did that to me You're sensationalizing it but okay See right there. Yeah. Yeah, okay. See I had to pull it out of him Yeah, basically I had to pull it out of him that he was upset Yeah, because casey's not the type to come forward. He's not confrontational and say like hey man

Fuck off with this thing. I don't really like what you're doing right done He's more passive about it and and that that infuriates It is kind of a lesson too like about friendship like You know, you can really you can bug one of your friends Yeah, you know really upset them without without really knowing that you're like I thought I really did think He thought it was funny because it was always a joke between us Like even before I talked about on the show It's been a joke for 10 years before we said it ever on the show between me and him right right and um, you know

I didn't think it was like that. I thought he thought it was funny Yeah, I know it kind of went down like a weird way like I remember When it went down it was like, oh, what do we do like casey's upset by this I didn't have any guess you remember that That I thought you know what it was what we talked about it after we told everybody to call our other friend a ginger Yeah, okay. Yeah, people were calling him a ginger. Fuck and go fuck. Yeah And we're like we got to get people to not do that. Yeah, so we went and we're like, well, I'll just I go I'll just tell the story. That's why I told the story. I just remember that I told the story and I go

And I'll give people to say what dudes at to casey thinking it would be like 20 people maybe And literally that week I would scroll pages pages I know twitter account like holy shit Like I was calling people like look at casey's twitter feed 500 people asked him where the deals are at Well, and I think the thing you and I forget is that people that aren't entertainers for a living like may not Be amused by shit like this. Exactly. That's the point. Yeah, you and I are assholes for a living So when we get fucked with or we fuck with someone else, we're like, oh, surely you're gonna like this as much as

Fuck yeah, man But casey's a normal dude with a job and a wife and a kid and a life that we don't have Yeah, he has to maintain a life. I know like a real life. Yeah Well, let's hear we're almost we're almost to the part where it starts to change the tunnel change here in a moment I hope so because I want you to stay friends with casey because right now you're kind of sad, right? Well, I'm sad because I sense that he's upset and I don't feel like he's just coming out and saying like hey, dude You're a fucking dick. All right. That was a dick thing to do. He should have just told you that what I'm waiting for here Is I'm hoping to turn a corner. Yeah, you know I'm saying in the cover

I'm like I'm hoping to break through because I feel like that wall is still up. Yeah, he's Strong silent type But we're still friends you're saying Yeah, obviously, that's a stupid question. No, but well, no because I you're one of my best friends, man I know we don't talk Seriously, we're not blocked. Okay. Well, then we're not blocked you on twitter Did you think our friendship was over if you did that sad? I don't I didn't think it was over, but I definitely thought you were trying to send me uh a clue or something

I thought you're trying to say something to me. You know, it's kind of a passive aggressive way of being like, you know Hey, I I mean usually people interpret Somebody being like blocking them on twitter is like, I don't want anything to do with you So that's why you think it's reserved for like people that are trolling or like Heckling or someone you have a real problem. You don't want them to be able to see anything in your life or interact with you So I'm not trying to sensationalize it. I'm just saying what it is Okay I feel like it's funny because who doesn't need that much to me

He he kept going back by the way when this was going on that twitter doesn't mean much to me Yeah, and I kept being like, yeah, but that's not the point though, right? Like if it doesn't like he kept saying doesn't mean much But I still think the act of doing it is significant of blocking somebody but the thing is though to someone that Let's say he's not that active on twitter Yeah, maybe he doesn't know that the actual the act of blocking somebody is very hurtful You know, I mean like maybe he's not aware of the gravity of blocking because we do it to people that try to troll us You know, yeah

It is it's a bold statement to be like no, you don't get to read my shit. Right, right, right? Yeah, you don't get to look at me but You know, you've upset the baby man You upset the baby. I'm calm. No, you look better with with your twitter talk You did you did mention the white heckling on there Yeah, people about people that they get heckled So you're saying but why me though? Why would you block me instead of other people? Were you not heckling me?

I don't think I heckled. Did I heckle you? Jesus You and the rest of the bro up here. He said the bros. I love you and the rest of the bros They're called mommy. Yeah, that's his way of taking a jab at every uh, you guys You and the bros Right like we're some shitty radio You and the rest of the bros Uh, you can hear it again. I don't think I heckled. Did I heckle you?

Change it You and the rest of the bro up here I love you. You're like a Sunday man Okay, so then if you want to get in touch with me You don't have to use twitter. You can call me. You can email me and text me And which is what I do and I don't I just feel like you're still upset with me and not probably me No, I just don't want you to be upset with me then that's all I

Don't I don't think I like I don't all right. Well, I'm not fit. So are you good? Yeah, that sounded pretty heartfelt. Well, I'm not upset. So are you okay? Is that is that a good way to end? You think you think you think it's fun to have a real argument with him I'm not upset. You're right case. Okay, but you do you say in a very like throw away Case again, that's all right. I don't I don't know I don't know what you expect. I don't you I really don't know it makes me laugh, but I don't know what you only say All right, well tell me what else is going on so we can update

Let's update people with like that shit aside. What's going on with you? Um That's a man, you know my story. I'm I'm working. I'm raising a child trying to make paper. That's it Will you uh, forget everybody that harassed you myself included? Sure, yeah, I don't I don't think about it. Um, I don't care to think about it anymore. I wish I would I know I'm kind of like an end I because I'm trying to I'm trying to put some closure to this man You're really really reaching those. I'm not really sure what you're reaching for. I've

Yeah, I have when you say reaching them It's so far my review mayor. I don't even care about it, but for some reason you insist on I explained to you why though No, that's not true I told you why the reason is because for for our show for our listeners It's not weighing the rear-view mirror because they ask about you all the time I have dozens of emails Comments where people ask about you. So you say it's like you're over into the past. I'm saying people are still asking about you

So I'm just trying to give them an update I'm just I'm really trying to turn the corner. I really feel like Like we argued and we're like it's over, but it's not over Do you know I'm saying when you're like, is it over? You're like, it's over But because I don't give you a kiss and then he's not ready. He's still upset But I don't I don't believe him when he says like I'm over it. Like I don't care I think you you know, I understand from his perspective Like I said, he's a normal he's a dude with a life and he wasn't anticipating getting a million

Tweets about shit. I know I don't want to get I know but we we're ready that it's about to happen We're about to have fun again. We're about to be friends. I hope so. I want you guys to be friends a combative thing I'm trying to be like Hey, man, people ask about you. That's all All right, what do you have some specific questions? What's up? How how many like crazy huge dicks do you think are swinging through Um, like a Carolina Panthers or any NFL locker room. There's gotta be some really big dicks, right?

And broken there he goes When you guys played I remember asking you and our friend Justin he played college football. He did Yeah, I didn't know he played college football at your the college you guys went to. Yeah. Well, I didn't know that Yeah, him and Justin both did I know Justin playing too. Are you serious right now? I promise you Like what's up at the cock in the locker room and you guys immediately they're like, oh man this guy uh His name is like john fox or something like this guy's got a fucking

And he's got an Alabama black snake between his legs. Like it's just you guys immediately knew the teams kind of know Who's got a dick on the team and who doesn't bite? Well, it is the thing. It's not necessarily that people know because it's not a big secret. What happens is Is when dudes like that are hung like that they Basically have no shame whatsoever and letting you know about it. So it's pretty much they advertise it Well, yeah, it's like everybody has a towel right for these guys

They have a towel. They don't use it. They just kind of walk the hell of the towel in their hands You know See, do you like that wet what pushed us apart is the same thing that just brought us together And that's talking about dudes I love it. You come full circle. Yeah, I was he was upset. He was upset. He was upset I was trying to like let's let's mend this thing and then I go Tell me about cox and he was like, okay. All right. Yeah And we were able to patch up. Do you like this? Should I continue with this? Yeah, I love it. I'm glad that he's happy

You think about locker room etiquette like if you're standing at a locker And you're drying off like you might, you know, turn your turn your back to everybody that's around you, right? These dudes, yeah, yeah, like an extra they take like an extra two steps away from their locker kind of out into the The traffic air, you know, like walk in between lockers They say they get a little extra space from their locker and always face out and Just let's say there's never any Discretion at this site. I'm gonna I'm gonna put this out onto and then everything else just gotta hang it out or

You know, I'm gonna reach around and do my back and the rest of y'all can keep it going up front. I think, you know So it's kind of interesting. It's it's almost like, um, I wonder if that's the practice It has been in place for like Thousands of years like if that's what the romans. I wonder if cavemen, you know, I mean Kind of did the same thing like it was a We'll think of kind of fighting each other What would you do? Well, right, right? Yeah, I guess you're right. Um But the the thing about advertising it is like it's

It's almost it's in in that circumstance If it's not eroticizing it, it's it's to say who's the real man in this locker room right now I am There's some there. There's some lot of stuff going on there. Yeah Yeah, yeah Dude's want you to know And it's totally non-gay Yeah, it's non-gay but there's one too

But that's really what life is about if you think about it life is about dudes want dudes to know That's stupid I was waiting for that moment the whole time But you guys are friends again. You know about it life is about dudes want dudes to know That's stupid what you do So Do you think cam newton Gets close to the lockerway changes or do you think he takes a couple feedback and turns around?

He's a quarterback for the carolina panthers I don't know Are you gonna speculate on thick sense? He's probably doing okay, but we're not I mean He's doing yeah, I mean when he's not being surrounded by the porters. Yeah, he's probably showing off too I told I talked to a female reporter who told me like how many Athletes like to just throw the towel down when they're being interviewed by women in the locker room

And they like to just stand there like pro athletes just stand there just like hey, you're you're just standing a couple inches from my dick That's out right now I wonder if it's a defense mechanism, you know, maybe or maybe it's just like a fight back tactic, you know So there's there's they always like they'd be attacked by reporters Maybe they just try and You know flip the script on them and make them feel uncomfortable by putting their channels up in their face. I don't know Yeah It's a good thing. I wonder how many people like are in a film for it like that. You don't hear about or see, you know

Oh, I'm sure it happens a lot. Yeah, I'm sure it happens a lot I I went and do it slowly the our friend Justin that you just mentioned I went to a braids game with him one time and he was doing his um He's clearly he's working for at the time. And so he had passes to get into the locker room some media passes. We got the locker room Those dudes walked around with stuff hanging out in place with With reports all replaced male and female. They didn't care What type of sport was it? There's baseball braids

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, so they just walk around just like no big deal, right? Yeah, I mean they go back and forth from the locker to the shower to whatever, you know, whatever state of dress they're in They don't care. I just kind of go back and forth care on the business I guess I guess if you see that ever like friends of the baseball, for example, you do you see that 160 days out a year I mean, I guess kind of like what the point What's the point, you know, yeah There's a lot of Whatever I can get on a team. I want to kind of experience that a little bit, you know

Babe, what the fuck walk around with your cock hanging out? Yeah, you don't have to join a team to do that, man You do it at home Well, whatever. I mean home's kind of I mean that's kind of safe because just you and your wife and maybe a couple friends But do it at like the library or something Yeah, that's not a bad idea. I kind of want I want reporters to be there though I To say she'll patch release to see what happens

Or yeah, I thought you were the library so if you'll get some reporters after the cops Show up, you'll probably have some reporters as well Um One last question. Do you feel like When north carolina voted down They marriage they were sort of Collectively saying as a state We don't want to know where the dudes are at

Um No, I don't think that's what they were saying, but there was probably a similar message. All right, I'm sorry I know this is long and I hope you found it. Um, you know, it was a it was a that was a whole thing for me Well, we got back we got him back got him all the way back And you know what though you guys did have kind of a strained relationship for the last few months Our listeners played a big part in this. Yeah, that's the thing is that our listeners you were a big part of this man This was a yeah, kind of a social experiment, right? Yeah, kind of gone awry, but i'm glad that you in case made up because he was at our wedding

We were at his wedding. Yeah, I caught the bouquet at his wedding. Yeah, we were delayed on the way to his wedding We spent the night in detroit Well, I'm really glad to see that you guys worked it out because case is a really sweet guy Yeah, yeah, and a good friend to you and me um It's pretty exciting Uh anyways, so we made up Uh, you can see everything came full circle and what pushes the power brought us together, you know

And now we kind of you know, we don't really know where the dudes are at No, but you kind of that's everybody's been asking, you know We're the dudes that you can kind of have an answer You know, but speaking of dudes, I I think that there's a new uh her suit per suit There is why don't we do this first and then leave on that? Yeah, I think that's a good idea Why don't we do this first and then what we'll do and then we got it. We'll get out of here, you know There it is it's that music Oh

Somebody just wrote me on uh facebook. Yeah, what are the people like that you hang out with? Uh, just like what are the people like that you hang out with? Well, I mean they're on our podcast a bunch I know I'm just gonna give them a more simple answer Oh yeah I think you should have a good idea Bert kreischer, uh arisha fear, uh Those are the people we hang out with right? Yeah

kasey Well, anyways, how would you rather for you mommy do it do it? I like that in you got All right, here it is Would you rather Be celibate, okay, and that's no masturbation or nothing you can't touch your ween at all can't touch your penis at all Or the only person you can masturbate to and have sex with Is your sister?

Now you get to choose the better looking one Okay, so if you have multiple and what about if you have No sisters, but a brother the option so you can choose your brother if you're in the dudes No, but let's say you're not even into dudes the option Yeah, you can you you choose the hotter sibling regardless of gender. Yeah, exactly So this does apply to you. I'm saying even if you have a same-sex sibling Yes, correct You can't get out of the game that way and if you have step siblings this like I have three step siblings

That's an easy one. Why well if I had step siblings, it's kind of like it's a done deal I'm fucking my step sister. That's not true though because I am if you grow up with somebody like I have three steps I've had since I was like 13. Yeah, they're family I know but here's the part is like if you had like let's say if you're opposite sex And you you have your predicament you you go to your step sibling you go look It's either this or nothing And your step was like, well, you know, you're my brother. It's like, you know, just look down Look down and let me just do this. I don't have to be celibate for life

I'm just gonna drop loads in you for Everyone's a while Look, I'll give you 50 bucks a week. Whatever. So, you know, that's a lot of money. It's a lot of money So what are you saying? You would take the sibling step sibling easy answer But for you, I'm saying for me, it's a very real scenario and it couldn't be more horrifying and I could not Begin to wrap my mind around how I would be a monk. I would go up into the hills of Tibet Any day then So would you rather be celibate than hook up with your steps?

Yeah, I think so, man. Yeah, it's a pretty it's I mean, I like sex Well, you know, you're about to get it in like five minutes. Sure. So sure Yeah, um, I think I'd be celibate though then Over over that for sure. I think I would have to choose that too. But you know what? There's some people out there. Maybe that are like, I gotta fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that would choose that option Yeah, maybe secretly maybe not publicly What you got don't you have one? Uh, yeah, this is from uh, uh, listener Um, he says would you rather

Whistle who let the dogs out as loud as you can every time you shit Leave a snail trail of urine everywhere you go I hate whistling I fucking hate whistling as much as I do. I hate when people whistle. So do I it makes me angry when it's a casual whistle Oh Whistling in public makes me want to fucking punch somebody I would um, yeah, I would definitely snail trail urine. I don't mind a little bit I have a little pee on my pants every time I take a leak

So that's fine, but it's everywhere you go everywhere you go. Oh, that's tough. There's a lot of pee I don't know. I kind of as much as I hate whistling It would only be relegated to the times I was shitting correct. Yeah, and it's who let the dogs out And I would I would shit and whistle Okay, I'm going to take shitting and whistling At the same time Oh, I got a real good one that just came in. Okay. What is it? What is it? Okay Oh my god, would you rather have an earning limit for the rest of your life?

Of $60,000 combined. Okay, most you can ever make together or Both of you meaning you and your significant other Get a $10,000 raise every year for the rest of your life But twice a year for the rest of your life You have to volunteer eight hours a day an animal shelter and guaranteed in that shift you will euthanize at least Oh dear That's a good one. That's from Jared in Los Angeles

Ah Jared went to Jared's That's that's horrifying. Here's the thing man. I'm really good. But the thing is I've been broke Most of my life. Yeah, so I I do 60 grand. Should I've done that? I've done I've lived on a lot less But you know what else you would do for many years You know what else you would do you would do it single because I would fucking take the other option That'd be killing puppies twice a year. You would kill puppies for $10,000 a year. I hate Nobody Um, but you know what I would do I would just I would bring

Things that I value to look at while I kill the puppies, babe I mean, I'm not doing like pictures of the car you're gonna buy. Yes, exactly. I would I would oh, this is a You know an m3. I really wanted or I would you know, I'd wear the Rolex the whole time Just look at my Rolex and then they're like I just press the button. Yeah. Yeah, things like that. All right I would I would plug my ears with money like I would fold it up and put it in my ears What if they're just ugly puppies? Like can you pick the shitty ones easier? Well, they're all adorable Adorable as a part of the scenario

Really good. Jared. Good job, man Well, I'm I'm picking 60 because 60 large you can you have a good life on that. That's that's a That's a great living. I've lived on much less Pretty much forever. So Oh, god, here's another one that you're really gonna love. Okay, this one's from Andrew. Wait, what did you choose? Do you choose the 60,000? Yeah, dude. All right. I chose the money guys. Hey guys money killing puppies. That's me Um Andrew wrote would you rather go back to being 16 years old and have to be on 16 and pregnant?

Or live as an iris gypsy from the age of 16 Oh my god And and by the way both of these you have to do as a Oh They're both you're just doomed in both scenarios. You're damned. Can I tell you what I'm doing? How about how about the tv show 16 and abortion? Can I do that one? I don't want to do the other uh I think for me, this is easy as much as I you know, whoof really despise them as a culture

Yeah, I'm going with the gypsy because at least you'll get embraced and loved. Oh the dudes. Yeah No, no, I'm saying if you're if you're doing 16 and pregnant or 16 and gypsy When you're a gypsy and you're 16, even if you're the female. Yeah, you have to index things all the time in vacuum But at least it's a real like you're gonna get embraced and you're encouraged to have those kids If you're 16 and pregnant and you're in the regular suburban. Oh, I see what you're saying They're you're fucking ostracized and you're treated like shit. Well, and you know what I didn't consider for the gypsy What you get to wear a real nice dress That you get this a bling bling bling everywhere swarovski crystals

85,000 swarovski crystals And we got our boots to have crystals and the crown that has crystals. This is the best Gypsy dress I've ever seen. This is a masterpiece. People are going to be talking about this dress for a long time Tom People know that you got all the money This poem is for Tom. Tom, you got a wad of cash in your pocket and a cobra snake in your pants You uh, you can't sit down because your wallet don't even close Can I tell you okay being a woman in gypsy culture is is so it's terrible

So you would choose 16 and pregnant? I would choose 16 and pregnant If the copy can I I don't know if I kind of if I had supportive parents Not like the parents with the girl with the braces and that adorable boy who they gave up their kid Prodoption like they have shitty parents. I want to have like decent parents on 16 and pregnant that helped me with the kid You're doomed. You're doomed either way. You're doomed man But I I've known people that have had kids at 17 And that have great lives now really pull it together. Sometimes a kid can motivate you in ways you never thought Well, there you go. If you're a gypsy, you're confined to the fucking trailer park

Yeah And you get and you I gotta do is wipe down that Thing every day, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah Are you got it guys depressing a bunch of would you rather there's more we'll uh, we'll keep we'll keep doing them We took a little break because it's fun to take a break from stuff. You need a vacation. Everybody needs time away We're gonna we are we're tired mommies. We travel a lot and uh, I can't wait to sit on a beach, babe You know, I'm gonna do just I'm gonna fucking mommy out. I'm gonna zone out. I'm gonna wear my jeans high as shit Yeah, I love this song. This is this is the new her super suit jam brand new from the new album

We're gonna we're gonna go back to the beach right now. Let's go lay in the beach. Yeah This is a cover of a javid bowie song. I just found that out boys keep swinging. This is horrifying When you're a boy Oh You could wear a uniform When you're a boy Other boys check you out You get a boy

These are your favorite things When you're a boy Boys Boys Boys keep swinging Boys always work it out It's terrifying We love you guys. Oh, we love you guys. Yeah, joy

Her suit her suits boys keep swinging. Look at the video if you can. Yeah, cop that album amazing And uh, we'll see you soon. Bye mommies. Keep to the gods. Love you You'll get your share when you're a boy Boys boys boys keep swinging boys always work it out Boys Boys boys keep swinging boys always work it out