Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Episode 75-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: October 17, 2016

Charge this shit to the game! Tommy and Tina deliver a Mother of an episode with sound bites, insight, perfect impressions, stories and more! Tom's recent appearance on the Joe Rogan Experience (Eps. 264) where Joe called into question Tom's (in)famous "black voice" is a hot topic! Tom defends his God-given skill and demonstrates how he can yell EXACTLY the way black people do! Last week we solved the "Oil/I/Eye on The Road" mystery and this week a screen grab puts an end to the "retard/retarded" dispute. Results and a new Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut. Plus Tom almost tells Sofia Vergara she can get it IN PERSON! How much are people into farts for real? Just listen and find out. Great Episode! 

We should tell this is a new developments for both of us for this week. If you want to see either one of us, oh, yeah, there's some shows that just popped up called fallouts in the business. And that's what we get. That's what was what we're good for. That's what your mom to get. Christina, yes, sir, is going to be Thursday through Sunday. Correct. At the West Palm Beach improv.

That's right. West Palm Beach, Florida, Florida. And originally I was scheduled to be in Miami, but they changed it to West Palm. So if you did buy tickets in Miami, my apologies. Just go down to West Palm. How far is that for Miami? Like it's just a short two hour drive, right?

It's less than two hours. It's less than two hours. So like an hour and a half. Get really drunk and get in your car and drive to West Palm. There you go. It's not a big deal. What about you, Tommy? I am going to be three shows only one Thursday and two on Friday

at the Brea Improv in Brea, California. If you're in or on or around Brea, please come out. That would be a lot of fun. That is what is that the thirteenth and fourteenth, I believe. Thirteenth is a Thursday. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm just doing one Thursday and two Friday. It's only three shows. I would love to see some moms out there, podcast fans.

That would be a lot of fun. You know what there are, because the last time I did it, a lot of podcast listeners came out and it was the most awesome thing ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. So that's what I'm looking forward to. I hope you guys can come out to that. And then I know that my calendar hasn't messed up, but I will be in Toronto at the end of the month for the Comedy Festival there. And they're putting me in a bunch of different venues.

But as soon as I hear what it is, I'll post what it is. So if the Toronto people who I'm so excited to meet. Wait, is Emma Peters in Toronto? Yes. Emma Peters, big shout out to you and Clayton. I love you, Clayton. We love you guys. I hope Tommy can visit you guys. I hope so, too. They're adorable. Wait, can I read one more?

Tweet Facebook update for my cousin? This is my cousin, Sean. You don't got to ask me. Here's multiple updates on the weather. Here's my favorite. This weather is so crazy. Exclamation mark just got out of the movies and it's cloudy and dark and it's starting to rain, but it's like a hundred degrees.

And it's an update. It's a Facebook update. It's so funny. Yeah, it's so ridiculous. Oh, and this week, you're not even to be here. But one of my soft guys was coming. That's hot. That's hot. That's hot.

You're so fast. That's my sister's got one of them. One of them. Yeah. The less the less of them is coming. Like my other sister is much more like. But yeah, but I can get this one to kind of I might be able to get some of that out of her. So I try to get her to record with me a little bit.

Can I tell you what I know triggers her is when you and I like we enjoy farting or burping in front of her. It's like, oh, my God, I got this guy. It's just perfect. Oh, God. Yeah, so hopefully we'll get some of that out of her this weekend. They'll call you guys. You guys are so fucking lame.

So you can't kind of tell that about us. That's not what that costs. Why are you calling to their mommies? Why are you watching jiggles? OK, but yeah, it's not as long as a cop. You want to get this started? Let's do it. All right. Hey, I'm going to cover my ass.

And when I get through, I'm going to beat your ass. And I'm going to take it. I'm going to beat your ass. Why should I beat my ass? Why should I? You don't get me. You don't get me. Bro, bro.

You don't get me that. Man, I don't give a fuck. I crack it on my fucking ass. You don't know me. You don't know me. I bet you love John Dey, bro. I bet you love Chad. I bet you love these chants.

Take those all. I bet you better get your kisses in, man. You better get your kisses in, man. Man. Bet you better get your kisses. You better get your kisses. Laugh in front of the kids. I'm gonna.

Well, I. Wrap your station, talk, word. Borrow my hand, station. Wrap it, say, show, station, wrap this shit. Take it out from here. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

You see? Man, I'm gonna hold you. I'm gonna. You won't stop. Man, I'll go get it. She's like, I'll get it. I'll find her. I'm gonna.

She's like, I'll get it. She's like, I'll get it. She's like, I'll get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. All right, keep it up.

Who is around? Don't bring anyone loving you. Go to them. Don't bring anyone loving to this. I don't. I don't. How? I almost had a panic attack listening to that and reminded me of my time in public school

in LA here. How great did it have? You don't know me. You don't know me. That's exactly what I felt. I swear to God, that could have been Christina Pajitzki's seventh year, it's like seventh grade year. You could have been recording from the hallways.

Yeah, that could have been like a lot. A Portola High or whatever it is. Yeah, there it is. Portola Junior High. Yeah. Like 1990 or something. No, man. Rosina Johnson and me, just, you don't know me.

That shit's so scary, man. That was intense, huh? It's all about the yelling when someone yells like that. And the intent is to murder you. Yeah. Like, we're not going to work things out. Like, I'm just going to shout at you until you cry. I'm going to fuck you up, man.

Yeah, it's fucking terrifying, man. Of course. Where did you, who are those brats? Where did you find those brats? That was just something I stumbled across, they're at a Birmingham bus stop, I guess in Alabama. Birmingham, Alabama. Oh, man.

I just didn't see eye to eye is the way I would put it. These two are just working it out. You know that today my, I did the Joe Rogan podcast. Powerful. The Joe Rogan experienced powerful times. And he questioned my black voice. What? Yeah.

What do you mean? Isn't that crazy? Wait, he questioned it? He was just like, like, I, I, I didn't, whoa, I did, and in my head, I was like, whoa, whoa, an impression. What was that? Something. Oh, man.

That was, that was a powerful Joe Rogan explosion. That was, I did, we were just talking and I did an impression. He was like, oh yeah, or like a white guy doing a bad black voice. And I was like, excuse me. I even spoke up and tried to defend my, I said, I do a fantastic. A bad black. And I was like, I think I have a really good black voice. I would say of all the black voices I've heard, yours is really impressive.

And I have more than one, you know, I can do multiple black voices. Well, obviously, you're like, you know, I can do your mom in the fucking fire. Yeah. The conference out there. Right. That's one guy. That's your signature phrase. That's one.

Yeah. I mean, that's just one guy. Well, what was the, what did you say on Rogan's podcast? I don't remember the exact quote, what it was, but I was, you know, it was just in the moment. It wasn't like a planned thing. You hadn't rehearsed the black voice that you were going to do, but you know, there's different ones.

Yeah, go ahead. Let's walk through this. I mean, you know, there's, I mean, here's me right here. I mean, right. That sounds spot on, right? Well, that's when you were playing your video games. Oh, right there. That was good.

Do you remember that? What is that? That was your street yell. That was my street yell. That's right. It's a different black voice where I, I, you know, it's louder. Right. So, uh, oh, that's a, see, that's a whole different thing.

I thought there was some guy outside yelling at. A black guy. Yeah. Yeah. That's a whole voice I have. Now, do you remember that time we were driving on Fairfax like years ago? Yeah. And there was a black guy just yelling randomly.

Remember, we were in the car and then the window was rolled down and you yelled back, right? No, I yelled first. Oh, right. Right. I was like, look, look. And you were like, oh my God. He just heard your black call of the wild and he instinctively just yelled back.

He didn't even look to see who it was. One of my favorite things to do, if I, if I see black celebrities in public, I would yell in my black voice. Uh, but like, I'll try to like, like when they're not looking, like if they're looking in another direction, like one time I was at the store and, uh, I was just hanging out out front and big daddy Kane. Oh, that's a good one. And somebody came out of the car with him and I went, stop.

Okay. Like that. He just, his head snapped around like he was like, somebody fucking just definitely knows me right there. Cause I said, yeah, his head snapped. He was like, something like, you know, look back. I love doing that. Okay.

See to me that, that sounds really authentic. It's totally authentic. I'm back at Portola junior high. I'm back in the locker rooms. Wow. Yeah. It's quick. Yeah.

It's authentic. Yeah. Okay. What I said right there was, what's up, Barry? What's up? Like it's a baroque. Right. It's a whole, it's a whole authentic thing.

That's a real voice. When you, your black voice, it does, it does a combination of things. Sometimes it gives me profound anxiety from my days of fighting. Yeah. And then other times it amuses me. Like when we were watching Barack Obama's speech the other night and you were saying that it was so funny. Cause my thought was that there's definitely, there's some old school black cats that are

watching that, you know? Yeah. Oh, I know where I did that really loud to the point where they told me to be quiet. Where? When we were, you wouldn't fully grasp this, but we went to a baseball game. Ryan Sickler, Dan Godfrey and I went to it last year and there's an Orioles player named Adam Jones. Well, there's a football player who's a separate guy named Adam Jones.

Okay. But the football player has a nickname, which is Pac-Man. Oh, I know Pac-Man. You've told me about Pac-Man. Pac-Man Jones. So the baseball player is a different guy. What I told Ryan was, you know, there's some old black guy somewhere in the country who's watching this on TV and thinks this Adam Jones is that Adam Jones.

He's the Pac-Man. Right. So I was in the stand going, stop Pac-Man. Like that. Come on, Pac-Man. And people were like, Jesus man, just turning back at me. Yeah. And you know that it like, something like, I wanted people there to be like, this isn't

fucking Pac-Man. This guy thinks Adam Jones is that Adam Jones, you know? Cause how much fun is it? Cause I ain't going out like that. Was that you or was that a black guy? I don't know. Cause I ain't going out like that. That could have been you, babe.

That's intense, right? Yeah. That could have been you though. Yeah. That could have been me. Yeah. I totally agree. Your black voice is really impressive.

I don't know what you're just talking about. I put a lot into it. And when Joe questioned me, I was like, you know, who is this guy? You know what I mean? Maybe, but you know what, maybe, you know, in his defense, maybe he doesn't know your range. I don't know if he's aware of your, your arsenal, your talent arsenal, you know? Yeah.

Fuck you. Wow. Fuck you. Fuck you. There you go. Yeah. Coming to my house. Mhm.

Got my mother fuck up a milk. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty good. We're in the same shit. You got it. That's just gone. Yeah.

That is a talent though, babe. I feel like you haven't really explored this. You haven't really used it. Yeah. Yeah. I think we have to start incorporating this more into the podcast at the very least. I think so. I mean, you know, I just, I just wanted to put it out there and let people know that,

you know, they're going to, if they listen to Joe's, they're going to be like, you know, that was a brief moment. What's going on there? What? What was happening with that? So I just wanted to like elaborate, you know. The avalanche of tweets of like, hey, I mean, I heard you question is black voice. How accurate is that?

You know, we want to, we want a little more. So I'm just trying to explain to the people, I know there's going to be questions. I heard you question is black voice. I see the question marks already coming. What was up with that, Joe? Not sure what was meant by that, Joe. I can see that coming. Just trying to, you're trying to nip it in the bud.

I'm trying to just nip it now. Yeah. You know, you don't want to answer all those emails. The truth is like, I'm not going to just sit there and take that because, you know, because I ain't going out like that. You know what I mean? I'm just not going to take it. You know what we should do?

I want to do something where we actually can put your skills to test. What do you have in mind? Well, I was thinking that maybe the next time we have a guest in here, why don't we do it where we isolate clips of you doing black voice against actual black people's voices. I see where this is going. I think I really like this. Yeah. And we can have a third person who's impartial judge, you know, is this Tom or an actual

black person? That's really good. You like that? I like that a lot. Okay. We'll do it the next time. It's basically, is this black eye or Tom? I wish we could have a black person do this.

Oh, that's an even better way to do it. God damn, we have to find. Yeah. We have to figure it out. I'll be really funny, huh? Yeah, that's a great idea. Thank you. Hmm.

I'm really a fan of that. Well, hold on. I'm moving around. I've got lotion all over my legs and I'm fucking sticking to the seat. It's so hot. It's so hot, but you know what? I'm glad that our stupid cunt rag neighbor is running her air conditioner right now. What the fuck is going on, man?

It's getting worse. It's totally getting worse. I know. It's totally getting worse, man. Did you fucking... Oh, you saw it. They used our lawn furniture in the back and they fucking left some towels and sheets on it.

Yeah, it's not okay. No. You're not supposed to use my furniture. It's coming to my house. Yeah. Use my remote control. Oh, my God. Really?

Yeah. Pizza? Eat my pizza. Run his ass over. You be nice to him. I'm going to fuck you up. It's me right there. Is that you?

It's me. Do you like it? I love it. It's impressive, right? Yeah. We've got to find the right clips for that. We can't tell this person. We can't...

No. I think the whole way to do it is, first of all, I think you have to have it with a black person. It's not the same. Yeah. It only seems right. Yeah. We have clips where we should put a little bit of like ambient noise with my black clip

so it's not so clear which one is done like in... In studio. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. Well, I really like the idea of this game. I mean, I really like it. Really good idea.

I'm really excited to, you know, to do this too. Yeah. This is a really one of your best ideas. Thank you, sweetheart. Fuck you. There you go. Oh, God. Yeah.

So, anyways, there's that. And yeah, please, if you do listen to our show, check out Joe Rogan Experience, the latest and greatest, the one that went up September 11th. And you can hear my appearance on there. And it was a lot of fun, as always, a big thank you to Joe for having me on and letting me promote our show that you guys are such a big part of and very gracious of him. Now, on the audio front, this is very interesting. Very interesting.

We have debated, we debated in detail, I on the road, oil on the road. We learned last week, it is in fact, I on the road. Right. The Scottish. Though some people still vote and tweet me that that's not it. But I believe the Scots. Yeah, can I tell you that after really thinking about it and we've been listening to that clip now for a long time, and that is the most logical explanation is I on the road

as in keep your eye on the road. Yeah, I like that. And it really makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's intuitive. It's intuitive. It is. Now, what is the thing that I wanted, though, to read to you? Okay.

We can find it here. And people, by the way, thank you for voting on this stuff. It really makes it enjoyable when you guys put your place, your votes. And also when you when you send us your comments and your emails, please keep doing that. My favorite are photoshopped pictures that fans do for us. Someone just made a five feet too far. Oh, yeah. I have to put that up on my mail.

You guys are all brilliant. It kills me. It's my most favorite thing ever. And the bear tweets, I'll keep retweeting them. You guys keep doing it. I'll keep retweeting them. Yeah. It gives me endless joy.

And go to your go to facebook.com, your mom's house podcast, like that page where there are a lot. We post there. It's a great, it's a fun, like, you know, place to kind of get involved with other fans. Their mommies. You know, and send us emails, your mom's podcast at gmail.com. That's we read those sometimes read them on the air.

So that's a great one to do. Let your mommies know. All right. Now, this is what I wanted to read to you. Okay. And this is fucking so great. So of course, we all know, we all know. I was going to knock her in the head one day out here beside the garage because she called

me under tartar. I was going to knock her in the head with a claw hammer. All right. And now, you know, it, we've played it. You guys have voted. There's two developers, three developments, really. The first is I have to read this Facebook post by Tonya, Tonya, Matthias or Mathias. How would you say it?

I don't know. M-A-T-H-I-A-S. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Tonya though. All right.

Okay. Tonya Matthias. She wrote, I think the retarded retard debate stems from the fact that it sounds like Stevie corrected himself. After close study, my theory is that he was going to say, she called me a retard, but midway through the sentence, he decided to say, she called me retarded. And so it came out like she called me a, I'm retarded. It happens to all of us, Stevie.

Sometimes I say begs and aches instead of eggs and bacon. Tonya made me laugh out loud when I read, she called me, I'm retarded. I think also that's a really viable theory. You know, it's definitely a possibility. But these are the other two developments I wanted to tell you about. One is that I'm a, I'm retarded voting has continued on the Facebook page. Okay. Retard, which is your theory has 36 votes.

Okay. Retarded, which is mine has a hundred and twenty three. Wow. I'm, I'm destroyed. And here's the latest, the real, the real development, the issues, the very important issues. Very, very important. And that is, we got an email today, Drew, send it to your mom's podcast at gmail.com,

Drew Elam. He played the movie with the subtitles on. You're kidding me. Picture of the, of the screen and you know it to us. No. So knock out here beside you guys because she called me and in quotation marks, retarded let me see this knuckle in the head one day out here beside the ground because she called me on retarded.

I was going to put this up on the website. This is great. So we have it. It's official. It's, it's solved. The mystery is solved. Wow. The game is over.

And for all Christina traders, you just, how dare you, that my sub factors in your face. I can't believe it. And that's official. I mean, that's an official transcript. I mean, that's from the film. That's somebody who's got real good ears. Somebody's job.

I got to tell you this though. I will tell you this. Some people are adamant and they've, they've, they've sought me out and let me know that you're right and that it's retarded. There's people. I mean, I don't understand what you guys hear, but I was going to knock her in the head one day out here beside the garage because she called me on retarded. I was going to knock her in the head with a claw hammer.

It's almost French of retarded. Okay. But can I, can I tell you one thing with the, the subtitles is that, yeah, okay, the likelihood of that being correct is high. However, have you ever watched subtitling and it's not correct? Sometimes it's flawed. Are you, are, are you saying the game continues? Is that what you're saying right now?

I'm just saying that sometimes they don't subtitle things completely phonetically. I mean, maybe that guy is filling in the blanks of what he's hearing. Counterpoint. Okay. Well, I guess, I just think it's time to put this at rest. That's all I'm saying. Well, you know what? Uh, I'd say the subtitle does kind of settle it, but, um, I don't know, man, there's always

possibilities. I understand. I understand. I'm not going to close this chapter of my life just yet. You know, you, but the debate rages on amongst your mom's house listeners. I love how Felicia Michaels was like, she's like, this is real. Like we were so invested in this. She was sitting here.

I wish you guys could see her face. She was like, is this for real? You guys are real. Absolutely. This is our lives. This is what I care about. I can't help it. Um, so let's see here.

A retarded. Yeah. I hear it too. A retarded, but he says she called me a retarded. You know what I mean? She called him a retarded. She called me a retarded. That's what he says.

She called, she called me a retarded. No. She called me a retarded. Like she called me an asshole. Like she, she called me a retarded retarded. Now the irony is, is that this is his retarded girlfriend who called him retarded, who really is retarded. She's really actually retarded.

That's probably why the insult cuts so deep with him. Of course, man. Of course. That would be like you calling me farty or hairy. Babe, that's completely out of line. That's completely out of line and that's not accurate at all. Not even remotely, not even within the context of anything. Yeah.

Doesn't make any sense at all. Your personal odor offends me. Speaking of odor and noises, we decided to go to Whole Foods last week. Do you remember this? I remember it, yeah. Do you remember what happened? No. You don't remember?

But when he's on that marijuana and whiskey, he gets crazy. I don't pick up. He drinks and he does marijuana. That's who called him retarded. That's his retarded girlfriend. Yeah. The retarded, the retarded calling, retarded, retarded. Well we went to Whole Foods and we, we were on the, we were like in the Venice area.

Yeah. And we decided to do the whole eat lunch in the fucking out front. You pinching your balls right now, babe? Yeah. So we go. Jesus. Would you stop? I can see it.

It's all right. We sit out front. We have our lunch there and you, yeah, like the animal that you are, yeah. Just decide that the front fucking, what is that, porch, the front, the entrance, the, the dining area outside is your living room and you rip a belch. Yeah. Like a really, like the one I let right now, like times 10, people around were like, Jesus. It was really good.

It was, you know why? Cause I was drinking that kombucha. Yeah. You were having one too. And that stuff is like super charged cause it's fermented. Naturally effervescent. It's like a five dollar drink that makes you shit. Yeah.

And it's got whale cum at the bottom of it. It's the best part. It's fortified and whale cum. Do you like whale loads? You can drink them with your kombucha. I did rip one, but you know why I felt I should, because it was the west side and people were so fucking hoity, tiny and I was like, oh fuck you. Can I bring up something that you did though?

What? No, I made this, I made a note of this in my cell phone. It was September 5th, 928 p.m. And I noted it in my phone as the most disgusting thing you've ever done. What? The most disgusting thing Tom's ever done. You were wearing your boxer shorts like you are now and your t-shirt and you went on the couch and then you laid on your back and then you did a propeller like windmill with your

legs. Like, wait, like this? Like a windmill kick. You ever seen those in karate? Okay. Like a windmill? And then you farted. So it was like the sound, no, not that thing, but you, it was the theatrical movement along

with the sound. Yeah. It was, it was a lot. It was a lot. Oh, it's hard to hear in your ear can. Yeah. I don't remember that. I mean, I kind of remember, I like to perform for you, but I don't remember farting.

I don't know if that's accurate story. Look, I gotta tell you the farts I can handle, but when you choreograph them with movements. Oh, I do that for you. Yeah. I do that for you solely for you. Just to turn me on. Just to let you know that I care. I'm right here.

I want you to know that I'm here. It's so sexual for me. To hear those farts. Yeah. I want to do it for you. Oh, by the way, I'm just so, we were going to have, we had a guest who had to reschedule today, right? Yeah.

So I wanted to let people know and we have some really good guests coming up. Oh my gosh. Holy heck fire. Some big names are coming into the mommy dome and we have a big announcement coming up. I think we can announce it next week. Okay. Is that right?

I'm not sure. I should, I should email. Well, we have a, we have a sponsor who we, I'll announce as soon as that's clear, but we have a new sponsor who we're over the moon excited about. I think you guys will be too. I think you will be too. And I have, I've told you, but I have the new album coming out that I'm super excited about.

Here's the deal. This is weird. I've never, I didn't realize this because you guys know I decided to do this on my own. I, I had the option to go with record companies, distributors, big names, said no. Good for you. Doing it on my own. Stick it to the man. Trying to do it.

Yeah. Trying to do it myself. I get the hard copies, right? The physical copies on Monday. And then the same company is like helping me put it up digitally. And I was like, okay. And they're like, so you'll get the hard copies Monday and then someone should reach out to you in the next week or so for the digital side.

And I'm like, isn't that just, can't you just make it automatic? And they're like, somebody will talk to you, somebody will call you. So anyways, that's just part of the, that's why I haven't been able to give a specific release date, which definitely sucks. But it's just what I've been dealing with. So well, the mommies are here. I know. And they're going to support you.

Mommies, I need your support. Yeah. I need every other one of you to buy this. Every other one of you. Yeah. I want you to get it. I really hope you do. Um, let's see.

What was I going to do? Wait, but you know what we saw at Whole Foods you didn't even talk about is we went to the park. Oh, my fucking God was this was it the day after this is or is it two days after two days after we discussed her, which is fucking weird. We saw the sweetest, most delicious cocoa brown tits driving through the parking lot. And I really came close to saying something to what would you say I wanted to tell her I wanted to give her my milk in Spanish, of course, where you tell them who we saw.

We saw Sophia Vergara, Sophia Vergara in her all black murdered out convertible with the tits out, you know, the brains blown out top down. Yep. Rolling through and we're like, holy shit, that's Sophia and you're like, tell her how much you want to fill her up. So I thought she'd want to know that our listeners are really into her and that we have a game for her. You know what I mean?

Like, hey, your mom's house podcast, I'm sure you're listening, but how fucking bizarre is it that she not only that she took our parking spot, she I got to back out and look at Sophia, give her the did you do that? You're talking and then she pulled into my spot and she went, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I came, yeah, and I want to be like, but you guys also let us know how you want to fill her up and seal her up with your milk, because in the Labor Day edition of fill her up and seal is shut. You gave Eva Longoria 16 votes on our Facebook fan page, and you gave Sophia Vergara 102 votes.

Overwhelming! That's called a landslide, and you guys dropped major loads in Sophia, I hope she can handle it. On the other side, you commented a lot about the other one, the male version which was Mario Lopez versus Gael Garcia Bernal. I love that guy. You do like that, huh? Gael!

Gael! What's the Gael in English, what's the equivalent? Fartknocker. Okay. He, uh... Kind of indigestion. Uh, oh, somebody let us know here, oh, Gael Garcia Bernal, check him out on Itubamat también.

Of course! The movie, and check out his package. Shhh, full-front. I've seen it. I've seen it. That's how I got to know Gael. Oh, jeez. From the movie.

He was he. All right. Well, anyways, you guys voted. You voted on that one, too. It's pretty neat, pretty cool that you jumped in on that. Thank you for doing that. This was a much closer, and of course not as many people voted, but 24 said Mario, and 22 said Gael.

Wow, that's close. It's neck and neck. Nice. It's time to drop your load on whoever you want by going to the Facebook page. Hey, how do you say neck and neck in Spanish? Cuello, cuello. Cuello, recuello. Cuello, cuello.

Cuello, cuello. Cuello, cuello. I know that's even a saying, though. Culo, eculo. No, not culo, eculo. Ecolo, ecolo, pero... Ecolo! Well, that, that's not, I wasn't expecting it to be that close.

Yeah. They're two different types of dudes. Mario is like a jock, and Gael is like the hipster, you know? Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So what do you want? Do you want a stinky guy with a strong personal odor, or do you want some guy that fucking... Personal odor.

That hits the weights every day? I was really excited about seeing Sofia, though. I know you were. Her car was pretty fresh. Wow, it really was. I wanted to tell her that I wanted to pinch those lips and twist them around a little bit, you know? Her taco lips?

Yeah, put her taco, put some tapatillo on her taco lips. What if you said that to her, what do you... I'm sure she gets it every day, just guards. She gets shit just yelled at her, I'm sure. Hey, bitch, I want to fuck you. But if she saw these blue eyes, this fair skin, she'd be like, oh, who is this nice white man? Is he about to tell me to watch out because a storm's coming?

I should put my top up on my car, and I would say, oh, Sofia, I'd love to pinch your pussy lips and put hot sauce on them, and then I also want to fill you up with my milk. I think she'd be like... What about her asshole? You've got me brought up her butthole. Oh, please. You left my butthole all alone. I want to wax it with my tongue.

My tongue can work as a hair remover on your ass, and it can rip out the hair itself right here. Don't wipe. I got to fucking wipe it right there, like that. I wish I could have told her that, but you snooze, you lose. I lost my chance. Oh, well. Annie, who doles?

That's interesting, babe. I would pull Gael's balls. I would tug them just a little. Oh, just a little? To let him know, I'm the boss. I'd cup them with my hands. I'd try to put two in my mouth. I know I can only fit one, but I would try to fit both in my mouth.

Oh, Jesus. Because I'm that kind of a girl. And you said, I'm the boss. Oh, I'm the boss. So you would try to fit two? Can I stutter just then? I was so excited. I stuttered.

You would try to fit two in your mouth, really? I would try for him. I'd want to impress him out of the gate, you know what I mean? Try to fit both in my mouth. I don't see him being very hairy. What would you do to his butthole? I wouldn't touch his ass, because he's a hipster. That asshole is gamey as hell.

Really? Yeah. I mean, hipster boys don't. He's all greasy. Like his hair is greasy. I bet his beans stink, too. A bit of breath stinks a little, too. But what about his beanbag?

His breath smells like beer. His beanbag probably has a little kick to it, but nothing I can't handle. Oh, now you can handle it. This spicy taco, a little chorizo smell. Get the fuck off, get the fuck off, get the fuck out, and don't come back. Can I tell you, right now, we're recording jiggalos in the other room, and when we're done with this, we're going to go and watch that shit. I cannot wait.

One of you, Dominic, tweeted me that he's not really feeling this hostility that Steven is showing towards Ash. Remember, like Steven was like, yeah, we'll see if you can fucking run with us. Yeah. That it sounds like a boozy, you know? Yeah. He's he's like, I know, but I'm telling you, it's not for everybody. Boozy means gay.

Yeah. And Hungarian. Yeah, he does. Steven is the gay jiggalo. I don't I don't know if he's I'm not sold that he's gay. Because I don't have anything against him. But how can he have sex with all these women? Pay for straight.

Do you think I don't buy that that guy he's like, we'll see what ever. Can I tell you why it's oh, so that's very that's very interesting. That's how the guy fucking. I know, but you know what though? I've had boyfriends in college that were like that. They talk like that. Yeah.

And they listened to Morrissey. You dated gay guys in college. Pretty much. Yeah. But but I'm saying that there's dudes out there that are just that. The whole Lightning crew. Those are dudes that like dudes. Babe, my friends in college, remember those guys?

You met them when we first started dating. Aren't all of them kind of kind of gay, a little faggy? Not that none of them sounded like that. They none of they all are like they're all a little girly, a little fag. Well, I don't I don't buy that entirely. I don't think that I don't think right now. I don't think I put you do that in put deodorant on today. Well, there you go.

Those are dudes that like, dude, you got that's a cool plan. You go to that facility on ice house and you get a good move and have to drink something like this. Where are the dudes? What? Where are the dudes? OK, where are the dudes? That OK.

Never never. That's the fuck out that jiggalos clip. Can we do it again? It's my favorite right now. That's actually from his website, from his from his YouTube page. Fuck off. Get the fuck out and don't come back. You know, I feel like saying that to our new addition neighbors.

Dude, what is going on here? Well, we got to get the fuck out of here. We have to get the fuck out of here. Do you know what's happening now? Well, you do know, but our listeners don't. They tell them, man. So, dude, when we moved in here, our landlady was like, you know, every now and then I'm going to have some relatives from the overseas.

Yeah, coming over here and they're going to stay for like a chunk or whatever, a couple of weeks at a time. I don't know if she gave us a specific time. Maybe that's in the fine print. But the assumption was like, oh, we'd have people staying in the backhouse here and there. And now we get word that her relatives are coming for months. Six. They're they're coming months.

No, they're coming for six months. They we've been told, oh, by the way, you know, I told you that sometimes people come. So they're coming and they'll be here for six months. Keep in mind that our OG, our original, our neighbor, who we've told you about before, she's also there. So she is going to be there. And the new six month edition, those people are going to be there. So we have the two of them to look for the three of them now,

because it's it's the lady that's there who you guys all know who that is. She's going to be there with two more people. So and they're going to be cooking their stinky fucking food. And that means there's even additional. There's additional. There's more people. Oh, no. She's kind of tone it down a little bit.

I haven't heard her make love recently. Yeah. But you think that it's going to be like an immigrant orgy over there? Like a youth hostel. Yeah. I'm trying to picture what's happening. I can't really. I can't really put it together.

No, no, you can't figure that out. No, is it just slap, slap, slap? Oh, OK. I got it now. I got it. Sorry. Yeah, a little protein for you, babe. OK, you get it now.

I got it now. Little nature's harvest. Look, I play that just out of anger. That's an anger clip for me. I'm very upset by our situation. I am too. I honestly and honestly, it bums me out because I really enjoyed living here for a long time.

And this is one of those things I got to tell you when when you got neighbors that are too loud or that are intrusive, that take up your space, it fucking ruins everything. It does. You know, I mean, you when you I remember in San Francisco when I lived with my best friends with Shauna and Bronwyn and five of us and there were tweakers that lived above me. Yeah.

And these assholes would play their shitty fucking techno music until six in the morning. And it it's devastating. You can't sleep. Yeah, it's really ruins your it wreaks havoc on your in your day to day life. If you can't sleep, you can't, you know, how can you go to work the next day? How can you function if you can't rest in your own fucking home? Yeah, yeah, we got to get out.

We got to start looking. No. Ah, what a nightmare. Oh, there was something else you said we do. We have to get out of here. We're going to leave. What is it? Boo Boo Chops.

Well, on on the on the Facebook page, yeah, I told you that they created a poll about buying your farts. You didn't really. Did you want to discuss that? Yeah, I mean, I mentioned that there was three options to vote on. Would you buy a can of Christina's farts was the question. The option was yes, no, or fuck. Yeah, OK, two people said yes.

OK, 76 said no. OK, OK, and 62 said fuck yeah. Wow, OK, so there's a market. That's a big market. There's there's a need. There's a need for your market. Now, what? How do you want to do this?

What's the price point on a fart? I think it's a it's a collection of farts. It's a can, one fart. You got to get people multiple farts. How big is the can? I don't know. I'm going with like a jar, maybe a mason jar. Yeah, you know, like an old jelly in.

Yeah, exactly. I could take me a while. Go ahead and fart in that a few times. Well, here's the thing. If I could do it if I made poop soup and I my veggie soup. Yeah, if I worked on that home mason jar of farts, though, gosh, I know. I could do like one jar a day. Yeah.

You know, it's kind of like artwork, like my friend, Shauna, is an artist. Yeah. And the amount of hours she puts into a painting is how she determines the value of that painting. If it takes me all day to make the soup and then collect all my farts of one day into a mason jar, what's that worth to somebody? Oh, yeah.

You know what I mean? Sure. The labor. Ah, wow. You know, what do you say, Tom? Can you throw out a number? Can we can we start here? I mean, I think it's worth, I would say.

Oh, geez. I would say that was a that was a phantom where the dude's at. He wants to wear the dude's. I would say for a jar, like you got to start about 20 bucks. Yeah. For a jar of farts. I mean, yeah, these are people that really want your farts. Yeah, yeah.

No, do you think there's a is this a legitimate fetish, do you think? Definitely farting. But do you think there's a like I'm being serious, like all just aside, is there someone out there that's like, I would really love. Absolutely. A jar of girl farts. Here's a. Absolutely.

A hundred. Wow. Here's a good way. Let's see. Let's look on Craigslist. Well, I want to go. If you go to going to a porno set and I'm just going to type it. Let's see.

I'm going to have a have it broken down by tags, you know, and you get to. Let's see if we scroll down to the F's just to see how many people are into this. OK, OK. For. For fart. For fart. Three sixty eight for farting three forty four for farts one ninety three. So it's not like the big fetishes where there's like a like thousands of clips,

but, you know, three hundred forty four clips. That's enough people are watching. Look, look, I'm going to say that I just found this on Craigslist. Yeah, the personals. Yeah. I just all I did was I went to Craigslist on my iPhone and I just put in farts. Yeah. Under the personals.

Here we go. This is it. This is from yesterday. It says any guys into farting. I want to get farted on my face. Sit on my face or doggy or raise your legs and fart. We can do that. Hey, what's up?

I'm back. Yeah. And more gas just for you. I don't know what to expect. I was reading. I was reading this. I thought this could play in the background as well. Okay.

Well, here's the rest of it. I want to get fart on my face. Sit on my face or doggy or raise your legs and fart, which is what you do all the time. If you're curious about having a guy sniffing your farts, hit me up. Exclamation. I've done it before and it's fun. I like the cadence with which you read this. I like fart.

And if you want to hit me up and it's a good time. That's how I hear it in my head. It's so silly. Do you think it's a guy that's... Wait, is this a guy for guy or a guy for person? Listen, yeah. It says I'm GL. Okay.

I am what is GL? I'm GL White Fit Body DDF. Jesus. Be GL White or Latin DDF. What the fuck is GL? All this acronyms. I don't understand. Can I?

Let's see. I'm GL. I'm good looking. I'm good looking white fit. Now DDDF. I know DTF is down to fuck, but DDF? I don't know what DDF is. Be good looking white or Latin.

She's into it. Yeah. So this is a big fetish. Really? Clearly. I feel like I could accommodate a lot of these. So are you putting yourself out there? Are we going to have people stopping by from Craigslist right now?

If someone were to pay me to fart on their face, would you be... Would you object to that? Yeah, I'd be kind of... I don't know. What if it's through the panties or through the pants? Oh, I know. What, babe? I just saw something I didn't want to see.

Why are you... Come on, it's not fair. I can't see it. Well, I mean, I just didn't know what was happening. I didn't think it was there. So you want to start farting on people, really? No, but I mean, would you be... Would you object to it if there was...

I think so, yeah. I think I would object. Why? Because I just don't want somebody getting to enjoy the thing that's so near and personal and dear to me, you know? Yeah, you're not enjoying my farts these days. I get to enjoy them myself so much. Every day.

I don't... I just don't see how you can be sexually into this. Completely hard right now. It's oozing out of me right now. I like that. It was a little quick one. It was fun. It was a fun video.

Glad this exists. So you guys... So I'm a... Yeah, I'm looking forward to your farting. It's so fucking gross. You know what? I remember I used to read the gay personals when I lived in San Francisco. There used to be this magazine called The Odyssey.

And in college, I'd collect them. And I'll never forget there was one ad in particular. The verbiage of it really sticks out in my head. It said, I love juicy, greasy, sweaty nuts. Come here and give me your dirty, sweaty balls. But juicy, greasy, sweaty nuts. It's a great description. That was the intro.

And there was another guy that was like, I love your sweat socks. Your dirty, filthy sweat socks. Put them on my face and balls. Everybody likes that shit, man. Yeah. The rankness of somebody else. Yes. That's a very intense effect on people.

The pheromones, right? Yeah, on men. I wonder if women are really into... That's very good. Oh, good boy. What's going on here? I'm not sure. Good duck.

Oh. Huh, she's farting in his face? Is that what's going on? Her bear ass into his mouth. And he likes it? Where's his voice? I don't hear him. He can't breathe because he's so into it.

But he's so focused. Very, yeah. And he's really intense. Yes. He's real happy. We should... Do you think we should export a recording of this episode for our parents?

Or maybe for Christmas or something? Put your tongue under it. Yeah. But smells are very powerful to people. You know, that sexually smells really do it a lot. Really, really. The fart is really interesting, though. You know, I don't get the scat stuff.

I don't get the fart stuff. I don't get it either. I'm really not. If you want to really start farting on Craigslist, you know, it's up to you. No. But can you at least not do it here? In the house?

Yeah, I don't want the people coming over here for that. No, I wouldn't really do that to you, babe. Well, you know, it's your farts and you get to decide who you want to show them with. Ah, I don't know. She's gonna shit. It's... she's pushing really hard. She's really pushing hard.

And can I tell you something? Ever since... Oh, that's shark territory right there at Shark Week. Ever since I sharded on the plane, I've been a little more cautious about that kind of stuff. About public farts. Yeah. Oh, oh.

They have like some snap to them. You know when they kind of cut a little bit? Yeah. They really do. I know. Here, can I tell you my favorite ads? Here's Men Seeking Men. Guys are fucking handsome.

Guys are... guys are absolutely... What a dear dad. Hold on. Let me find these. What a dear dad. These savages. Yeah. Yeah.

These are so much... He called me yesterday. Who did? Case. What's up with him? He gives me shit about not calling him back immediately. He's one of those people who's like,

you didn't call me back. I hate those people. And then in the message, he says, you never call me back? And then he wrote, he went, sorry for the last time you called. That's the one time you called back. I didn't answer.

All right. So he accuses me of not calling back and then acknowledges that I called him and that he didn't call me back. Hey, I'm looking for someone to come over and jerk and bust out loads. Send pics and stats. Please be DDF and clean HIV.

Oh, I know what that is. DDF. Disease and drug free. That's what it is. Disease and drug free. God, that makes sense. Here's another fun one. I love this shit.

Horny bottom chub looking for some fun. Hey, that's my... I know, I know. Horny bottom chub looking for some fun with a top my age or older with a nice thick or long cock. Oh, man. That's what it is.

And they can like, that's so crazy that you can do this and like someone's like, yeah, all right. Dude, I put up the gay ad for Burt that one time. Remember that? Where I had him laying on those rocks and we took a photo of him when we were in Hawaii. And I just put like,

I just want you to come over and just fill me up and like shove it in my mouth. Oh, I wrote like, the door will be open. I just want someone to just come in and just shove it in my mouth and do whatever you want in my other hole too. And it was just like my inbox was like, like just fucking dudes are like,

with this right here, like I can take care of your needs. There's guys just reading over that shit right now. Here's my favorite one. Yeah. Power bottom, but here's the thing, you don't need to abbreviate on Craigslist.

You can use as many letters as you want and they're still abbreviating shit. So it's like P-W-R-B-T-T-M-M-A-S-C. So power bottom masculine, jock and jocks after Equinox gym and ready for a good pounding. Come fuck me. That's my favorite.

Come fuck me. Feed down my throat and go. So aggressive. I'm hosting. Dudes are aggressive, man. No chat needed. No questions asked. Discretion assured.

Just come and go and then get the fuck out. Oh yeah. All right. Just come over. I bust a load. Fuck off. Get the fuck out and don't come back. There you go.

Now let's see how the women seeking women fare. Now I'm curious to see. It's definitely not that language. Not even close. Let's see. Hold on. Let's see if women are pig savages. It cannot be gross like that.

I don't believe it. 00:53:27,100 --> 00:53:28,220 Okay, hold on. Yeah. It's totally, totally the opposite. It's not even close to that, man. Here. Here is the worst one I can read.

I'm seeking a woman with beautiful legs like mine. Please send pick. That is the most offensive one. Yeah. It's like I'm looking to meet another sweet and laid back girl. I love to have fun, laugh and have a good time. I'm an animal lover. It's never like come over and paint my face with your jizz.

Fill my throat. Yeah. And so I can pound me. Pound the shit out. This is the fundamental difference between the sexes right here. Yeah. I would love to find a woman I have a connection with. You know, we can converse, hot tub, listen to music, dance drinks.

And this is woman for women. So these are gay women. And so that's really like just actually a nice thing to say. Yeah. It's sweet. Like I want someone I can hang out with. Just looking for love. Guys are like fill up my shit.

Pound me. Ruin my throat if you can. Destroy my mouth and ass off. Oh my god. This one says please read. She has herpes. Beware of this young lady. She is a former stripper that recently contracted herpes.

And it's not telling anyone. Geez. Oh, you don't need to do that. Sorry. I just coughed in the mic. Yeah. I was overwhelmed. Oh, it's so good.

Babe. Okay. Sorry. I totally just coughed in the mic. Sorry, guys. I didn't. I was too. I was too absorbed in Craigslist.

It's so amazing. Do you ever look at like casual encounters or misconnections? Oh, yeah. It's hilarious. That's the best. Yeah. Those are great.

Makes life worth living. His farting videos are really great. I'm so glad they're out there. Babe. Well, it's true. Listen, we got a fellow rap stealer shut today, by the way. We do? Yeah.

Oh, well, why didn't you fucking say something, Jimmy? I didn't know. No. All right. It's time. Now, I think that we just had the Democratic National Convention. Yeah.

I think we should do a political. Okay. It's up to you then. Yeah. Now, let's do the dudes first. I think we should do a little Barry Obama versus Mitt Romney. You're doing a presidential. President.

Fill them up. Seal them shut. Yeah. Okay. So who do you want to get filled up and sealed shut by? The current president or the would be if he shall pull it off. Republican nominee Mitt Romney. Very interesting.

Let me look up his photographs. He's not a total pig. No, no, no. Here's the problem is that he's a fairly attractive white guy. I don't I don't like his politics, but I'm going to divorce myself from his politics for a moment. I'm just going to go with what? Aesthetics. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Well, he's a good looking guy. Kind of a stunner. Silver Fox. Yeah. He is a silver fox. He is.

He's a good looking guy. Do you know who he reminds me of? Yeah. Do you remember the dad on Silver Spoons? Oh, yeah. That old sitcom. He reminds me of the dad from Silver Spoons who was a Silver Fox himself.

Yeah. But here's the thing. I like a little chocolate in my latte. I'm going to go for berry. Yeah. Because berry just seems cool as shit. I mean, the guy is cool. And look, I've had plenty of old white cocks shoved into me.

Oh my god. Plenty of limp, gray, soggy cock and balls. And I haven't had the chocolate surprise yet. So I'm going to go berry. I can't even remove myself. I mean, Mitt is a... I would give it to him. He's a good looking guy.

But Baranque's just cool, man. He is cool. He's got a little swag when he walks. He has a little like... Little, you know what I mean? Yeah. He's got that little swag in his step. I think Romney is just pumping.

And he's like service me. Why aren't you polishing off this knob a little more? Entitled. He's a little entitled. Very entitled. He's a multi-millionaire. And I think he's used to being taken care of. What's his wife's name again?

I don't remember her name. Carol is? What's her fucking name? Let's see, Mrs. Romney. That's her name. But I think Baranque's got the community organizer background. I think he's really... He's all about the other people.

And so I think he's really going to try to service you. And he's got that great smile. He's got a sense of humor. I think he'll kind of joke around. He'll put you at ease before he really dumps it in you. You know? And Romney is her name. She's a fox.

Yeah, they're a good-looking couple. And they have good-looking kids. They're all really good-looking people. But so are the Obamas, you know? I know. Michelle's gorgeous. And the kids. They're beautiful girls, you know?

Yes. We're not going to put them into this. No, I know. I'm just saying that genetically it's a good pool. It is a good pool. I'm just sick of whitey. You know what I mean? I'm over it.

So you're going with Barak as am I. What's the other side of the political filler up? So for the gentleman, we're going to do, I'm going to say- Well, you could do the First Lady and- Oh, shit. We can do that. I mean, did we do that already? We didn't do that before.

No. Yeah, we could do Michelle Obama versus Ann Romney. All right. There you go. Is that- God, that's a tough call. And then what about, what was the other option? It was going to be Hillary versus Sarah.

How about both? Throw them both out there. Okay, all right. So let's do Michelle versus Ann Romney. Yeah. Yeah, it's a problem. Yeah. I just don't trust anyone that's married to Mitt Romney,

you know what I mean? Well, you know, this is supposed to be a physical thing. What do you, what do you want to fill up? What do you want to seal shut? The First Lady or Ann Romney? Listen, I like Michelle's down-to-earth style. I like that she wears dresses from The Gap and J.Crew where I shop as well.

I think I'd have more in common with her. Yeah. I find her aesthetically pleasing. I'm going to go with, with Brock's lady. I'm going to go with Michelle. All right. It's out there. I, you know, I haven't had black ass in 10, 12 years,

so I'm definitely going to go back and get some. Jonathan, are you feigning for it? Oh yeah, definitely. So I want to get in there and, you know, see what the president's been up to. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So for me it's simple.

She's got those arms. Her arms are so toned. She looks great. She's, you know, she's ready to get, she gets down, I'm sure, you know. And I know what I like about her is that she has so much personality inside of her. Yeah.

She really sparks. She's a sparkler. Yeah. And she has to kind of, I think she tones back. Because she's a pretty funny broad. She lights up the room, man, and I think it would be fun to see if she could light up my balls. You know what I'm saying?

Now, here's a, here's a shocker for you for Sarah versus Hillary. Okay. I'm going to go Sarah Palin. Um, I'm going to follow you. Really? Yeah. Do you think Hillary's too old and... No, but I, you know...

She's cool though. I think, you know, Sarah again has that, I mean, I definitely have her keep the glasses on. And I'd like to do, you know, some hair pulling, some, I'd like to be really aggressive with her. And I think that'd be a... Yeah. She's got that naughty librarian look.

Yeah. And, and, and, you know, things that I don't like about her, I can take up, take it out on her. Because I'm filling her up, you know. I would, I would do stuff like, uh, like water border. And then, you know, and then stick it, stick it in. Things like that. I would hold her under, in the bathtub,

hold her head under the water and then, you know, then shove it in her. See what I could get it, you know. Yeah. Because Hillary, you can't really demean her. You can't really punt. I feel like Bill's already probably done that. He's done his job.

Yeah. He's done what you're supposed to do. Yeah. But, but, um, but Sarah's used to bossing Todd around. Yeah. She tells him what time it is. Well, guess what? Not when Buns shows up.

Yeah. There's a different fucking sheriff in town right now. And you know why? Why? You know why? I'll tell you. And there ain't going out like that. That's why.

I'm gonna fucking, there's a new mayor of Wakula, whatever fucking town you live in. Plus, I feel like Sarah Palin is so shockable. She's so like, I'm like, I would never do that. Yeah. But you know, you know what's fucking first happening when I get Palin there? I don't do that.

I'm farting in her mouth. Yeah. First, right out of the gate. And, and you get to have unprotected sex with her because she's not on the birth control pill. And I'm not going to ease into it with her. No. It's a fart out of the gate.

A fart on her face or just in general? No, on her face. I'm like, this is what you, this is what's going to happen right now. Hmm. You're getting, you're getting the full filler up please. I don't know about that. Oh my god, I'm, uh, I'm the governor.

Like not right now, you're not. You're retired, you fucking dumbass. You have to get fucking pounded. Continental U.S. style. Because Hillary's too cool for that. Let's talk about the 48 major ones here. Hillary's too cool. Hillary would be like, oh fuck off, please.

I've been farted on. Yeah. You think I'm new to being farted on douchebag? Needle dick motherfucker. Yeah. She's so awesome. She wouldn't even, she wouldn't even play that. No, she wouldn't.

But Palin would be like, you're farting me feet. And yeah, so fucking ridiculous. Do you think her palin's been with checks? Um, college. I mean, she was with Glenn Rice. In college. So he's a chick? No, no, it's a dude.

Basketball player. Big brother. He hammered it when he was in college. So she probably, you know, I think she probably tested the waters back then. You think she made out with girls? Maybe. I don't know.

She's kind of, oh. You know what though? It's always those super Christian types. Yeah, they're really against it, huh? They say they are and then they do everything under the sun. Yeah. And then they, they, you know, pray about on Sunday and then. You think she's eating some box before?

I think she's done shady shit that we don't know about. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I don't trust those, those uppity moralistic, you know, bullshitter. So I don't trust it. I don't fucking trust them.

I don't like it. I know exactly what you're saying. Those Rick Santorums of the world. High and mighty. Mom Torums of the thing. The mommy and the jeans. Yeah. So anyways, you know what to do.

You need to, you need to vote. You need to go to facebook.com. You need to vote. It's important shit. Yeah. We should get out of here. Okay. We got to watch jiggalos, man.

I'm, I'm fucking feening to see this episode. Okay. Hold on. Super. The Brace Philosophy. The Brace Philosophy. The Brace Philosophy. The Brace Philosophy.

It's so good. Well, I played that because there, I pulled up another. You did? I can't wait. You know, let's give you a little taste before we get out of here and let's see what Brace has to say today. Hey everybody. This is Brace again with some more Brace Philosophy

and this topic is going to be titled The Three D's. Women that, you know, how they get their money. And it's like three D's. The first three D's of like their daddies. And the first one comes in the form of their biological fathers, their daddy, who pays for their education, their car, their insurance, and usually pays them, you know, for their, their apartment rental or whatever. Maybe college and usually subsidizes either of their cars for quite a long time.

Until their secondary D takes over, which is their first husband. Okay. And then, you know, all these women are geared to get married. And they, you know, they do their thing. D for husband. They're in love. They get married. Some of them have kids and they, you know, go through the process

and then they decide that, you know, they're bored. They get bored and guess what? They take their second D to the cleaners. And that's in the form of divorce and they get alimony. And if they had kids, they get child support. And no matter what they do, you know, no matter how many times they've cheated or if they get caught cheating with 20 people, guess what? There's no accountability and they get paid to leave.

They get paid to cheat. And that's the second D would these women get. I mean, they, first their dad, their real dad subsidizes them. Then they get married. Of course, there's no more dollaries anymore. So you used to get a dollar if you married, if you took on the... There's another D word for you, dowry. So far he's got daddy, husband, and dowry.

The burden of marrying a woman, you know, the father or the family would give you some cash going like, Hey, thanks for taking off my hands. This will help for the first year. And after that, you're on your own. Oh, shit. I can't get enough of this fucking guy. You know, he's so bitter. And you know why though?

Because he was divorced and he's still married. And it was ugly. It was really ugly. Yeah. Yeah. He made up with her, well made up, but reconnected with her last season. Wait. Well, we got to go catch up and see what...

Fuck off! Get the fuck out and don't come back. I mean, it doesn't get any better than that. All right. Jeans is... Oh, jeans. What a fun episode we had. This was fun.

We're going to have, like I said, we have some cool announcements coming up in the next few episodes. We will surely be telling you about some great guests you'll have in here. And then we will also have... We have very exciting sponsorship coming. Can I just tell you, someone tweeted me the best picture of you as a bear. Yeah. It's a view in me as circus performers and he Photoshopped my head in of you and

you're a bear with like a thing around its neck and I've got you on a leash. It's from at Vegas 702. Send us your tweets. Isn't this the best thing? I just retweeted it. At Tom Segura. So silly. That's terrible.

Keep coming. I'll retweet every one of them, guys. It makes me laugh endlessly. Go see Christina in West Palm. Yes, please do. I'll be at Brea. Come see me and we'll see you guys soon. Thanks again for listening.

Bye, mommies. We love you very much. We love you, mommies. We bought this thing. We bought it. We bought it. All the kids. We bought it.

We bought the system. We're going back. We bought it. We bought it. Everything. Everything. Is everything. All this meant to be who we are.

What? After winter. After winter. Come spring. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything.

Is everything. All this meant to be who we are. Understand that. After winter. After winter. Spring. It's going to rain. It's going to rain.

I wrote these words. I wrote these words. For everyone. Who struggles and may use. I wrote this one for you. Who won't accept. Deception in. Instead of what is true.

We gotta know who we are. It seems we lose the game. The game. Before. We even start to play. It's not our game. Who made these rules. Who made these rules.

We're so confused. We're so confused easily. Now I'm straight. Let me tell you that.