Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Gretchen Bonaduce-242-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: July 25, 2014

We keeps it real here and we appreciate the realness, gnam sayin? Nothing kept our attention like one of the realest Reality shows ever, Breaking Bonaduce. Gretchen Bonaduce, the ex-wife of Danny B, is in the Mommy Dome and droppin knowledge on us. We talk about the total chaos that was encompassing their lives as this completely unplanned show was filmed and the self-destructive path that Danny was on. It's engaging, outrageous, hilarious and sad all at the same time.  Get ready for a YMH EXCLUSIVE (Tailored Denim). This episode is an instant classic, plus we have a Steven Seagal nugget of wisdom to keep your eyes rolling.

Hi guys, welcome to your mom's house. Guess what? Where are you this week? Ontario? Are you in Ontario, California? You're there. I'm there with Tom Sakura. We're telling jokes at the Ontario improv Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night. After that, come see me please August 9th at the Ice House Annex in Pasadena, California. I'm doing two shows, 730 and 930. It's just me in the small room. It's for real mommy's only. Are you real mommy? You want to talk some shit? Call me. Come see me. Alright, that's what's up. What about you, James? Ontario, of course, with you. And then I go to Sacramento. I'm doing the punchline in Sacramento next week. I have no idea who's with me, but it should be fun shows. I heard it's like one of the best clubs, the Sacramento punchline. The

sack, the inner sack. Yep, the inner sack punchline. Then from there, I go to Pittsburgh. I'm bringing the full charge, the Pittsburgh improv. Okay. Then the funny bone in Columbus with Jeff Tate, the 14th through the 17th. I just added Philly today. So I'm going to do in the helium and Philly, the 20 something. And then the 28th through the 30th. I'm doing comedy works in Denver. Big Ernie, Andy Erickson is coming with me. And the one thing we have to tell everybody is we're doing one show only in South Florida. It's September 18th. It's the only show we're going to do. So if you're in West Palm, Lauderdale, Miami, anywhere in South Florida, the only show is September 18th at the Fort Lauderdale Improv. Get your tickets now. Wait,

I forgot one of mine. August 14th through 17th, Rooster Teeth Feathers in Sunnyvale, California. There you go. Do you know where Sunnyvale is Gretchen? Isn't that outside of San Francisco? Winner. Smart. What about you? I didn't know you were going to quiz me. This will be even more fun than I thought. Where next? Ask me another one. Gretchen, what do you have to plug for our listeners right now? I have to wish that I had a boyfriend to plug right now, but I don't. So instead, I'm going to plug my band, TheFatal80s.com, and I'm at Onksinger on Twitter. And then I have a Facebook. Gretchen Bonadici, Facebook. I want to go over two things. Okay. The fatal 80s, is the number spelled out or is it just the

numbers? It's just the numbers. So it's fatal, TheFatal80s.com, and then your Twitter handle. Onksinger, A-N-K-H. I know that was a dumb, you'll have to ask me. No, that's good. That's why we're saying that. Onk the symbol. The symbol, yes. I thought that I was a genius and I came up with this amazing name for my new 80s band and I just thought Onk a Sonamen would be such a cool name for a band. Right. Well, unfortunately, no one could say it, so no one could introduce us, and then nobody could even say who they saw, because no one could remember it. So I was kind of dumb. So then I had to change it to TheFatal80s. I love TheFatal80s. Sounds dope. That's a good thing. That's way better, right? Yeah. But Onksinger is your Twitter handle. It is. And it's A-N-K-H.

K-H singer. Yep. Okay. So you know to hit up Gretchen. Please. At Onksinger on Twitter. Okay. And she has something else to plug, but we'll get into that in the hour to come. Yes. Yes. We're going to love it. Okay. Yourmomshousepodcast.com is the site we need you to go to. It has dozens of clips that you guys have asked us to the origin of these audio clips. It's there now. There's also the link to the new Vice article. We were in Vice this week when we were in Toronto. They came out to the show and it's a really cool interview. So please check it out. The link is on the site. And of course they can shop through the Amazon banner, which helps support the show. So please go click there. It's summertime. What are you getting? Umbrella. Barbecues. Barbecues. Coles. Beech towels.

Flip flops. Nail polish. Nail polish. Headbands. Headbands. The flip flops. Dog food. Dog food. Cat food. Although I don't have a dog anymore, so I'm not really buying that anymore. But I do have cats. There you go. Cat food. Swap it out right there. And just so you know how it works, a lot of people don't understand. All you have to do the next time you are going to go to Amazon is just go to our website, yourmomshousepodcast.com, scroll to the bottom of the page and there's a banner. Click on it and it takes you through a magical portal to Amazon and just do your shopping like you normally would. So you don't have to do shit. Wow. And then they give you a portion of this. Yes. Exactly. A small percentage. Such a great idea. It's the best. It is. Also a link to the store.

The store has a bunch of stuff. Let's get social shirts. Let's get social shirts. And then it has the Theo247. How did you like that as a singer? I'm going to say I didn't. I'm sorry. I hope that wasn't you. No, it could have been. But this is the newest edition. It should be up there when this episode drops. It's the completely normal DVD. My DVD, CD of the new special. The first 50 are autographed. So if you get it now, you can get an autographed one there on the site and enjoy that. Do you fart inside the cellophane wrapper? So that everybody can enjoy the smell. It's one of these men's. Well, you don't even know. It's just being married. I mean, did your ex-husband fart a lot? Oh my God. The things that man did, I don't even know where

to start. But yes, that was one of his favorite ones. And especially to try to trap me under the bedsheets and do it. Oh, he touched up in July. That's nice. He tried, yes. That is romantic, though. It's love. So not. I did not enjoy it. Okay, we're going to do a proper show open. We play a clip and then the show open starts. And then we are, we have so much to ask you. This is going to be so great. Our guest today, please. Gretchen Bonaducci. Here we go. There's, there's an old Zen story of two monks that were walking across the bridge. And the junior monk said to his teacher, he said, what is the Buddha nature? And the other monk picked him up and threw him in the water. You know,

I don't bring anyone loving to this. Christina. I, I, I looked over during that clip and I just saw Gretchen's face like, um, what have I got What is this? Oh my God. Okay. Can you, can you tell by the voice who that clip was of? Can you tell? Uh-uh. I know. Um, but you heard what he was saying. Yeah, about the monk. Yes. Kind of sounds like an asshole to me. Yeah, I'm going to be careful here because I don't know who it is. So I know. Well, I mean, this is a guy who knows everything about everything. Okay. And his name is Steven Segal. Oh, he plays in bands. He knows martial arts. He's a police officer.

Trains dogs. He's trained dogs. He's the Buddha nature. He pronounced that the way it's like when a Spanish newscaster is like, I'm here live on the scene in Los Angeles and they give you, like they have to like, I know, doesn't that drive you kind of crazy a little bit? Yeah, I don't, I don't like it. All right. But you know, I have to tell you a funny story about that Steven Segal. Yes. I did a TV show called, um, Hollywood ex-wives and it was on E. It was the E true Hollywood story. And it was me and Darcy LaPierre and, uh, uh, one of the keridines and Shari Sneal who is married to Vince Sneal. And so if you've ever seen Darcy, she used to be married to like the guy from Hawaiian Tropic, like super beautiful, but I've never met such a conceited woman in my life.

And so when I made the mistake of asking her what it was like to be married to Steven Segal, was she actually was married to Jean-Claude Van Damme. So she was quite upset with me. Oh, that's hilarious. Oops, oops, because they're interchangeable to me. Of course. It's the same shit. Yeah. Now the latest thing is that Segal, uh, well, you remember his, he did a dance video where he, he went to visit like the Ukraine and he danced like in the, did like the local traditional 500 year old dance and he was like, I love this dance. This is a great dance. And now he's doing comment. Now they're interviewing him online about what he thinks about the situation between, you know, in the Ukraine and Russia. Yeah. It's like, why are you asking Steven Segal?

I know. Ridiculous. He thinks he is like the, you know, ever powerful, all knowing one. He is. He's omnipotent. And he doesn't even say the saying right. He's like, uh, as another monk about, about the nature. There's an old Zen story of two monks that were walking across the bridge. Across the bridge. He burped right down here. Seriously. The junior monk said to his teacher, he said, what is the Buddha nature and the other monk picked him up and threw him in the water? You know, so was he serious there? That was 100%. Wow. See, I thought it was a, I thought it was from the movie Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. That's what I was thinking the whole time. Cause I thought it was a movie script. Like I can't believe someone would say

that you'd be serious. No, he's a hundred. He's always serious all the time. That's the problem. Yeah. That is the problem. Yeah. He needs to chill out. Yeah. Well, I think it's really dumb of celebrities to comment on any international political, I mean, you're just asking for it. I just posted on my Facebook, all I said was, Oh my God, I'm so horrified about this, uh, flight, the air Malaysia. There were 80 kids on board. Some lady like chewed me a whole new, can you swear on the show? As whole, which I hate to say, but she was like going after me like, you don't know anything. I go, um, I'm just saying as a mother that it's really horrifying to me that 80 children were on that flight. You know nothing about the Ukraine. I'm like, I didn't say, I know.

And then she's like, there were, and I first said 300 people perish. And then she's like, there were, you know, a bunch of other people on board. I go, I get that. I think when I said 300 people, that would encompass the other people. But I just try really hard not to, you know, politically say too much about anything because people really don't want your opinion. They really don't. Like I love Sean Penn as an actor and I like watching him play retarded people in whatever movie. That's my favorite. When he goes full retard. Oh, definitely. Retarded. There you go. Gretchen fits right in and in gloves. I know you had no idea. Oh, I had a feeling you would. I had a feeling. So for those of you who haven't caught on, who

this wonderful person is Gretchen Bonaducci. I mean, obviously musician, soon to be released author. I'm so excited. I just signed my book contracts yesterday. So it was scary, you know, because really I should have had someone look at them, but I was thinking, you know, Hey, if anybody wants to do anything with me, I should just be grateful and signed. So I did. And, you know, I figured this woman probably will want to make more money than anybody else. And it's probably going to push me harder than, you know, someone at William Morris who won't care about me. And, you know, so I signed it and I don't know when it's going to be out, but soon in the next like month or two. That's awesome. Yeah. And I wrote it all, which I didn't

think I could do. You know, originally I met with a ghost writer and the editor was like, I really think you can do this. You have the stories. Now you're kind of stupid and we're going to have to fix your, you know, your periods and commas and all that kind of stuff, but that's okay with me. You know, you don't seem stupid at all. And so I met Gretchen. We did some bite-sized TV thing on the web. We were both doing our makeup next to each other. Yes. And I looked over and I'm like, I fucking know this broad. And I did that obnoxious thing where I'm like, do I know you? And then she's like, I'm Gretchen Bonaducci. And I go, it all came flooding back because I loved breaking Bonaducci. We got like that show. Here's why, and it really

goes to show you that like the more you strip away like the, you know, what's contrived and the pretense of any type of show, especially when it's supposed to be reality and you get like real shit, it's way more engaging and entertaining. That's what I wanted to do. That's what that show was. I was not going to recreate anything. We were going to do it. Like for instance, well, first of all, the funny thing was is we shot it as rock and roll dinner party. That's the pilot we shot where rock stars would come over and, um, you know, it was a potluck. That was the original idea for the show. That was the original idea. We shot that as a pilot. They're like, well, we kind of don't like the idea, but we do like you guys. So we sat down and wrote all these things.

And then the first day we started shooting, Danny just went insane. And they're like, just throw everything out the door and just follow them. And, you know, that's kind of what it ended up being. The show is hard to turn. You kind of want the show to like want to go on, you know, because you're like, it's, it was really hard to not watch that show. I am so proud of it. I mean, we didn't realize it was catching the implosion of our marriage. We, Danny had had an affair and we, I would not even deal with it until we started shooting because I wanted to do it honestly. You know, I didn't want us to like go to counseling, fix it, and then pretend in therapy. So we hadn't really discussed it. And then things just went so crazy. And of course they knew the

buttons to push with him. Like they knew anytime they showed him footage of my birthday party where he went insane, he'd just go insane again. Let's start from, should we start from the beginning? Yeah, let's, yeah. Because there's, before we get even into the craziness, this to me is an episode in and of itself, this clip I'll play for you from the show, because I'm just blown away that this is a real thing. Question and hi, I've been married 15 years. We've been married since the day we met. We were married seven hours into our first date on a blind date. Took her out was a very good date. I got incredibly drunk, took her back to my house, made a big pass at her. She pushed me back.

She said, I should have told you this earlier in the evening. I'm a Christian and I'm not prepared to do that till I'm married. So I opened the yellow pages, found a minister and married her. The next morning I said, listen, ladies, I had a lot to drink last night and I don't even remember your name. And she said, Oh, it's Mrs. Bonaducci. Try not to forget it. Fucking for real? For real. Now it wasn't seven hours. That became like the, the lore, the legend, but it was ours. Like it was less than 48 hours. Are you insane?

You know, it is the craziest thing I've ever done. And I can't, I mean, it started as a joke. I don't even know who asked who, but it seemed kind of funny at the time. So you, how did you meet me? Like how, how did you meet on the date? I was working for an entertainment company in Phoenix. I just moved back from Chicago. This just not a very good job. And I'm just sitting there going, God, why am I here? Like, I don't understand what is happening in my life right now. Right. And then I, so I had this menial job and at the time the guy that I worked for was doing

a psychic fair. So it was my job to get psychics on to radio shows that week. Well, Danny was doing a show in Phoenix, which is really, I think 50% of his drinking problem was they made him go by Danny Partridge and he just went to kill himself. So he was like 31 years old and going, yep, yep, Danny Partridge on the four one one. Yeah. So you know, that would make a guy want to drink. So yeah. So I booked a psychic on his show and this is such a interesting story, which I talked about in my book, but I've never talked about it before. I, so you guys are the first time I've ever said anything about it, but an exclusive for you. That's awesome. Well, I told this psychic,

I'm like, Oh my God, I think I'm going to get you booked on Danny Bonadici show. He seems really cool. So the next day she comes in, she goes, Oh my God, I ran into Danny Bonadici last night and I read his palm and I go, you did. And she goes, yeah. And I said to him, Oh my gosh, let me see. Wow, you're going to get married really soon. And it's to a girl who's really, really skinny with all this hair. Well, the girl he was dating at the time fit that description. And so he was like, wow, well, do you have a name? And she goes, yeah, her name's Gretchen. So she came back and told me that story. And I was laughing because it was, you know, funny, of course. And then that's what happened. So isn't that weird?

Yes, that's very interesting. I got chills when you said that. You know, to me, it was, there is no real, we were married 18 years. So for us getting married that way for us to last that long, that's the banana part. It's usually you hear something like crazy, like Britney. Yeah. And then they go, and then they, you know, they split up after a month or a week or 48 hours. I think she, yeah. Yeah. Because it's that crazy. But to last 18 years with somebody, I just totally felt like I was supposed to marry him and I did. And there's no reason you go on the date and he really, that he does make a pass. And you're like, I'm, I'm not that type of girl. Yeah. I mean, I had been that type of girl, but I decided, especially with him,

like I said, you didn't listen to the keyword there. I can't have sex with you unless we're married. Right. Oh, okay. Because what did you know about him? Not a lot. I lived in Germany when the Partridge family was on. So I didn't really realize the magnitude of that show. But I knew who he was, obviously, because they made him go by that name on the radio. And we just went out on this great date and we just super hit it off. What did you do? What is, what does he do to court you? Well, I had him over for dinner and I was surf couching. So I was living with whoever would let me sleep on their couch, you know, my girlfriend was like, Oh, let's have him over here. So I made a big dinner and he showed up with flowers and, and a champagne. And of course, my roommate was

this gorgeous, gorgeous woman, you know, so I think that he was kind of bummed that he was going to be with the ugly one. At least I could cook. So we went out and we just had so much fun. We saw the gin blossoms were playing at some club in Phoenix that night. And there was a lot of drinking involved. I know that. I mean, I was not drunk. I was pretty lucid, but he was, you know, and he was, I think, not really thinking clearly. So the day goes great or whatever. Within 48 hours, you're married. Yeah, we call him minister out of the yellow pages. He comes over to Danny's house. And he doesn't know we don't know each other, you know, and the funny thing was we didn't have enough money to pay him. So we had to give him like a couple of rolls of quarters for your marriage.

And then, and then like after this, is it on? Are you like, Oh, like, do you move in like the next day? Well, I actually went to Chicago, I think the next day or the day after, because all my girlfriends had pitched in, they were all waitresses and they bought me a ticket. Well, obviously, I didn't know I was going to get married, you know, so I went to Chicago. I probably took like about a month to move all my stuff in because, you know, just to make sure that everything was going to be great. Right. But we just really hit it off. And I realized quickly, I was married to a very sick person like I didn't know he had drug problems and you realize a soon though, pretty soon, I'd say within a month. Yeah, I started to see things and I'm like, okay. But was that was that

a deterrent to you though? Like, oh, shit, I just met a guy, I married him and he's got no because I'm Southern Baptist, you get married, you stay married. And so, you know, I didn't even think about going away. Really? No, no, I married him and we were going to be married and we were going to work this out. And he just was really, I mean, you could see from the TV show, just very difficult to deal with. And he had just come out of rehab not too long before that. And I think he was starting to slide backwards a little bit. And, you know, thank God he married me because I wasn't crazy, which it seems like I was. But, you know, he let me take over all the money and he was living paycheck to pay. We had nothing. So when people go, oh, gold digger, I'm like, I don't know what

gold you're talking about. He had nothing. And then he got arrested four months after we were married for picking up the transvestite in Phoenix. Yeah, I couldn't write this, you guys. Seriously, I could not write this. Hold on. So is that the first chink in the armor? Like, when did you know you really knew, okay, something's wrong with this guy? Probably within a few weeks. Like, I was starting to see, yeah, what things are not really good. Excessive exercising. Yeah, well, he wasn't really doing that at the time. Yeah, yeah. So I just started not letting him out of my sight. Like, I slept with my hand on him. I would hide the keys in the dryer at night. So if he woke up, he couldn't get away. Like, I really, really had to work at trying to keep

him sober and a job and all those things. But some of your psychological makeup is to be the help the fixer, the caregiver. Yeah, totally. This worked for you because you did this for a long time. Yeah, no, I think I'm definitely, if I look at my friends, I have so many damaged friends. And I think it's, I attract that because I want to help those people. And so I'm just like a fixer. And, you know, it's not a great quality because you end up getting sucked dry so much. Yes, well, that's what I was saying, Tom, this morning is that Bada Ducie, when he was what appears to be from the reality show, that's all we know of, he was kind of an emotional vampire. Like a dude like that, he's your full time gig. Yeah, there was no, I couldn't work. There was no

way your job was taking care of him. And he was such a mess, you know, like just everything I was trying to get and invest our money and keep him off the drugs and keep him out of trouble and keep him getting to work on time. And so that was kind of my job, you know, not only was it like, you have to do that, but he also just wanted you there, not not not to leave him so you can do other things on your own even. Yeah, he very much would try to annihilate all my friends, you know, and things like that, because he's just a controlling kind of person. And he didn't want me to have really anything outside of him, you know, and at the time I didn't mind because I felt like, you know, I was married to him and I needed to help him. And so I know that's kind

of screwed up on my part. But anyway, that's true. I really didn't mind too much that we were together all the time. Yeah, I couldn't leave him because I couldn't if he got out of my site, he'd get into trouble. So I just kind of became his babysitter, his wife, his mommy, his everything, you know, and like I said, lucky it was me because had he married somebody else and I think they'd be gone, they would be or they would have gotten sucked into I think that's a lot of times what happened to the women that is world. Yeah, in a negative way, but I just not that way. You know, I'm not I don't like drugs. I've never really done them. I'm not a big drinker. I drink a lot of wine, but I don't drink hard alcohol. I've never really done drugs. So I think he could have ended up with

somebody that would make it worse and snow. Yeah, you're kind of like, from what I know of Sharon Osborn and Aussie, like it kind of does take the wirings of two special people to come together to manage the rock star dude. So like what what do you think it is? And did you have an alcoholic parent to take care of going up? No, I had like the best. I mean, my mother died when I was young under really bad circumstances, but I had a wonderful upbringing. You know, my I mean, my parents were very religious and super strict. So I was growing up. I hated that, you know, that I couldn't really do anything. But now happy and, you know, just like I said, they were a lot more strict than I would have personally liked. But I think it just made me so strong, you know,

as a human being having parents that just held me to such a high standard and accountability, you know, that I really was not a problem child. You know, I never really did anything bad. I was never arrested. So I don't know, I just think I'm that kind of a person that has to fix somebody. So it worked. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Like 20 years of that shit. Yeah. And it was it was hard. And especially, I mean, I cannot even tell you how embarrassing it was when he get arrested for picking up that transvestite. Plus he was in radio. So every radio person in the world had our number. And I mean, reporters know the first time I was ever on TV was Oprah, you know, which is scary, you know, holy grail. What were the circumstances around the like the transvestites?

Was it like middle of the night? Yep, middle of the night, I woke up, he was gone. I knew something was really, really wrong. Like, you know, you just have that feeling something so bad. So we had a great day at the time. So I got my dog and we lived in downtown Phoenix, which at the time 1990 really wasn't a very safe area. So I was going, you know, from establishment to establishment, asking them, have you guys seen Danny? And of course, they all lied and said no. And then all of a sudden I look up and there's helicopters, like flying through the air. And I look down the street and there's cars just going a million miles a minute. So I'm like, wow, what is going on? So I walk back into my house, put my dog into like our garage area,

and I go inside my house and I hear a knock at the front door. And now it's got to be 1212 o'clock in the morning. I don't even know it was the middle of the night though. And so I hear this knock and I open the door and there's 20 cops, they go, Oh my God, a guy that just raped some girl just ran into your house. And I'm like, Oh my God, I'm like, come in because when I left, Danny wasn't there. So they're telling me this. Oh, and are you putting the pieces together? Not yet. No, I mean, I don't know what's going on, you know, at all. So then they all rushed in and we lived in like a two story condo and they all run by me and they run upstairs. And Danny, I guess, thought that the best thing to do was to take off his clothes and get into bed

and pretend like you've been there all night. Well, then when he hears them coming up the stairs, he jumps into the closet and covers himself with the laundry. So now they're like taking their sticks trying to like look and see if he's in the laundry, which he was. So then they pull him downstairs, completely naked. And so I don't know what's going on. So he's like, What? I've been sleeping. Yeah, always yelling. Like, I mean, I say in my book, like I've seen Miami Vice enough to know to shut my mouth. Well, you know, he's just keeps yelling, Tell him I was home all night. Tell him I was home all night. You know, and I'm just like, I don't know what's going on now. And now all I've been told is that he's raped somebody, which Holy shit. So it was husband.

Yeah. Yeah. They take him out. They take him. They gave him a pair of my shorts, which I thought he had coming. So they drug him out in my shorts and then arrested me. And again, I have no idea what's going on. Yeah, put me in the back of the cop car. They wanted me to identify our car and I wouldn't. I'm like, You know what? I want to talk to a lawyer. I'm not going to say one word. And so I guess that made them mad. And then they said, You know, we're going to let you go because you're dog. So someone needs to stay here. And I'm like, Dude, I don't have anything to tell you. I woke up. He was gone. I don't know what else, you know, and what you're telling me. I just don't think that's possible. Like I just knew Danny would never do something like that. You know, I mean,

he could go to any bar and pick up any girl at, you know what I mean? Like he was famous. So I knew that didn't happen, but I still didn't know what had happened. You know, and I was just so devastating. It was Easter Sunday. So I had to call my Southern Baptist parents to come over and my dad put up his vintage cars to get Danny out of jail. So you can imagine, you know, I mean, that's how wonderful my family is that, you know, can you imagine being a parent and being so mad that your son-in-law would treat their daughter that way? But that's just kind of how amazing my parents are. So then there was a big trial and it was so embarrassing. There was a trial for this? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Was it a rape trial? No, it was for ultimately, because that wasn't true. That

didn't happen. That did not happen. No, that didn't happen. But I think that's why they really were hard on Danny at that time, because that's what they thought. What did, and he ended up being accused of doing? Well, what the charges finally were, because when they, I guess, first talked to her, they didn't realize it was a guy, which is weird to me, because it was like an Indian transvestite. It was like 300 pounds in fishnet. So it, yeah, yeah, when I saw him in court, it looked like a guy. But they, ultimately, it was reckless endangerment, which was really bad because Danny was on probation from an incident when he was in Florida for MTV doing a just say no to drugs and he got arrested trying to buy drugs when he was doing that. Seriously, guys, could I not, I couldn't write

this in a script. So, but reckless endangerment and a fistfight assault. I think those were the two charges that ultimately he was in trouble for. He got acquitted from this? Well, he, I think he pled no contest and we had to, you know, pay, he had to pay for the tranny to get a new nose job. So did he assault the tranny? They got into a fight. Yeah. Well, he's told so many different versions that I'm not really sure what happened. But if you ask me, I think it's pretty likely that he was all fucked up on whatever and thought it was a girl. When he realized it was a guy, he just wanted to leave, you know, and then it just was an altercation. So yeah. So that's what I think. He is most likely. I think that's what happened. Yeah. His version of it is something

so many that I don't know. Depending on who he was talking to, like you have the Oprah version, you have the Howard Stern version, you know what I mean? Like, I don't really know. But putting two and two together, I'm pretty sure that's what happened. Here's a clip. I'm sure you remember this is when you tried to leave to go be with the band and he didn't want you to leave the house. No. No, I said, no, we're part of no, no, you get back the fuck up. Danny, I have to go. Why? They don't pay you. You're not a real member of their band. It's their band. This is so unfair of you. You don't have to go. Please don't leave me. No, I can't. Please stop the car. Please don't really go. And then you go on to be like,

this is the only thing that I wanted to do. Yeah. Yeah. And not only that, all these people had changed their plans and were driving from really far away, which I said, but that didn't make it on TV. So, you know, there was a lot of reasons when I, you know, and plus I just didn't like being told you. Yeah. Just so you know, the viewer is on your side. Like, you don't need to justify, a wife should be able to go, I'm going to leave you for an hour or two or three or an all night. You know, not all night, but I'll be back at midnight. Yeah, 2am. See you. Yeah. And now there has been cry like a toddler. Yeah. That's normal. Yeah. No, it was very bizarre and, but that was typical, you know, I was doing anything that he didn't like. He just

didn't want me to do it. Now this was extreme. Like I didn't, the weird thing is people ask me, is he that crazy? It's like, yes, but that was like a year of crazy rolled into a few weeks. Like whenever we started filming, he just went nuts. But usually things aren't like that all the time. You know what I mean? Well, cause I asked someone that's been on reality shows too. I know how stressful it is to be filmed all the time. Yeah. And that does tend to escalate the stress. Like when you just have people in your home around you watching you, it's very annoying. Now, did they film you guys 24 seven or we were on like an eight hour day? We did four days on, three days off. So like I would just try to plan whatever I was doing on the days that we're shooting

so that, you know, I had something to shoot, which is why I joined the band in the first place, you know, because pretty much I was just taking care of Danny and the kids. And so, so yeah, it was, it was stressful, but I'm still so proud of it. You know, I think that we did a more honest show than anyone else has ever done. Definitely. Yeah. And even the New York Times did an article saying, wow, this is reality TV has gone way too far. Now this is before things are now, you know, this was kind of the first show, I think. Now it's flipped to the point where now they script, completely script reality, call it reality, right? It's all scripted. Yeah. Like I actually feel like it's gotten away from, I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think

the hard part is that people now realize that they could look bad on TV. You know, of course, we terrified. Our show was the first one, like I said, that was just them filming us. There was no, you know, okay, we missed you being mad. So you, you know, do that. I mean, as a matter of fact, one time the director goes, Oh, I missed you coming out of the building. Can you just go back in and come back out so I can get you coming out and I do it? And he walks up to me goes, Oh my God, I got to say, that is the most unnatural walking out of the door I've ever seen in my life. We're never going to ask you again. But that works out great then because everything's real. I wanted it to be that way. You know, I really wanted to do something that was true and good.

And again, it's not the show we set out to do at all. Of course. And, you know, I really admire Danny for, you know, I mean, he, I would tell him, Danny, you're ruining your career. Stop this. And he just was going to be himself. And even like he said, he said it on the, on the show and I don't have the clip here, but I know he said, you know, I am like, this is a train wreck and you have every right to sit there and watch it. So he knew he was had a self-destructive gene in him. And he knew that that was, you know, enticing for people to watch. Yeah. Well, he wanted to do a good show. You know, he's a ultimate performance person. He really feels the pressure to deliver something good. So I'm sure that that weighed on him as

well, you know, that he wanted us to do something good. Right. And so, but I mean, he just went crazy. All of that is true. Like there was no him. Playing it up. Yeah. Oh, I believe that. I mean, the thing about Danny, cause like Tom and I, before he got here, we were like, what, you know, how was Gretchen attracted to this guy? And, but I remember when I was watching the series, like I, he's so smart, like he's so smart and he's really funny. He has a really good sense of humor, although I don't think it's standups. Very funny. But, uh, but he's charismatic. Yeah. And he's very self aware and which probably makes somebody who's an addict, even more challenging to deal with, because he is smart. He can manipulate you, manipulate the therapist. Yeah. You can talk

himself into God knows what. Well, and I think in a way that also might have made him crazier, because I didn't feel like there were people there. So I didn't feel like he could get away with that. Like I felt like I could say whatever I wanted and too bad, you know, where in our real life, sometimes I might not say something because I knew the huge tantrum that would come. So I'd just let it go. So, you know, I did kind of feel more free to not back down. You know, and so, you know, and I think even the therapist wasn't going to let him be manipulated. And I think when you are that smart, you're a master at manipulating people. And that made him nuts when I wasn't going to be manipulated, nor was the therapist. That was even harder on him. It's

frustrating. So frustrating to the person that's used to doing it. Yeah. Hence the spiral. Yeah. And hence the demise of your marriage. Yeah. How soon after that? Did the show air or, you know, did you guys divorce? 2005, 2006, because we did two seasons and then we declined to do a third, because we knew if we do a third one, I know had I know we're going to get divorced anyway, I wish we would have done it. But we thought if we do a third season, we are definitely not going to be able to survive. Because I just had had it now after the second season, which we did to repair the damage of the first season. And then he went so crazy again, you know, and they knew like I said, here's how they started the first season. I don't know if you guys remember, but

they sent him to Mexico. Yes, I remember the promo for Mexico City to talk to the actors who were dubbing our voices. And the clip they showed was the birthday one. And that was it. He was nuts again. And for the whole second season, he just went crazy over that. But if you remember that it was so funny when he's like telling them, you know, actors and actresses, I was mad. I was right, right. And they're all like looking scared, just going, my wife had had made guys and their asses in her face. Wouldn't you be and they're all just like going, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. So it was, but that was the thing they knew would set him off again. Or maybe they didn't, but they picked that clip for him to explain to them so that they could capture his essence. Well, yeah. Well,

one of the many things that, uh, it's fascinating. I always feel like to people, it's always like, you know, it's fascinating to see extreme behavior in any, in any capacity. And one of the things that like, I would always be like, holy shit, was watching him smoke cigarettes. Marlboro Reds. Marlboro Reds. I think it was, I was like, it seemed like you were smoking them. A lot. A lot. And I was like, Jesus, that, that with the fact that he was a workout nut. Yep. I mean, out of his mind, here he is talking to his therapist about it. You know, I was thinking that really transferring kind of your focus from crazy drugs and alcohol behavior to the obsessive working out behavior was going to be a really good thing. And now I'm,

I'm starting to sweat a little bit because I'm thinking that it could really go south in, you know, in a relatively short time. You know, you have an obsessive personality. We know that. So how many hours a week do you work out? A week. A week. A day, I should ask. I'm a member of three gyms, just so nobody'll know how much I actually work out. Each gym thinks I work out too much. I mean, that's, but he really was like crazy with the work. And then he started the steroids, which obviously he didn't need with his anger problems to begin with. Yes, I remember that. And then the alcohol and everything. It just, yeah. How much was he at a gym? Like per day, let's say, or?

God, well, you know what? The weird thing too, because when, what really broke up our marriage was he had an affair and moved a girl down the street from us. And I had no idea. No idea. That's so ballsy. Well, that's, that's what our first season was about that. Like I said, that I didn't want to deal with that till we were doing that. But that's when I had to finally go. Wait, did you know she was down the street when you? No, no, for nine months. But see at the time, he was, he was on the other half with Mario Lopez and Dick Clark. So he was shooting that several days a week. He was doing

morning radio. And then he was doing voiceovers. He was gone all the time anyway. So, you know, I just didn't notice because he was gone all the time. And then he had decided to get into AA. And then he told me, oh, I need to stay. He wanted to buy a boat. So I, you know, wanted to, I handled the money, but we were at a point in time where I thought we could afford to do it. Well, he said, well, I need to stay on the boat on Saturdays because there's this meeting I want to go to. And unless I stay down there, I won't make it. And of course, I wanted to support his sobriety. So I'm like, well, of course, well, I don't really want to be there with a baby because I can't relax. So you go, not ever realizing that that's where he was with her, you know,

it just never occurred to me that, I mean, after everything I'd done for this man, that was the thing I couldn't fathom that he would repay me that way. So it just didn't occur to me, you know, that this man would be doing something like that we had children. But I guess he moved a girl like right down the street. And for nine months, I had no idea. And then, you know, how you just start thinking things aren't adding up here. You know, and that's kind of how I caught him, you know, like I would answer his phone and she would hang up and just things that made me go, something's not right. And so I, you know, confronted him finally. And I'm like, something is not right. And you better tell me right now. So he finally admitted,

you know, that he was having an affair and that he was in love with somebody else. And I mean, I just went fucking ape shit. Like, you know, I mean, I just couldn't fathom that he would do this to me and our children. And I was trying to break his phone and I threw him out. And then like 24 hours, he was like, begging me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And you know what? The reason I let him come back was I did not want her to win. That was the thing, you know, worse. Yeah, I was like, I made him go and get all of his correspondence that they had, like, you know, and I am like, you're going to sit here and I'm going to read it in front of you because I want you to see the look on my face who's crying, please don't do that, please don't do that. I'm like, no, you're

going to see while I read this, because I was, she was a producer on his TV show. So I was very worried about a sexual harassment suit. So I wanted to make sure we had documentation that this was consensual because now if she were to sue us, it was going to be my half, you know, and now that's all I'm caring about is that a, that was one of the things she said in her correspondence. I would be sent mother to your children. I'm like, Oh, no, you won't bitch. Yeah. Yeah. And like everything he wrote didn't make me mad. He just sounded redundant because, you know, he said it to me and every girl before me, but the stuff she said made me really, really mad. So are they together now? Is it? No, no, I hung in there long enough to make sure she would go away,

because that was the one thing I was not going to let her be stepmother to my children. Fuck that. That makes me crazy too. Then he's hanging out with some broad and it's your kids. Yeah. And it was weird because like he would tell me after, you know, because I just wanted to know why and what, how could you do this? Like, did you guys go out to eat? Did you go shopping? Like what's the, and he's like, yeah, and her family was sending us gifts. I'm like, Oh my God. Yeah. And, and she would write things like, I knew God would be fine with this. I go, Oh yeah, that's that 11th commandment. Disregard that thing about the, uh, uh, adultery, you know. So, so it just, I just wanted to try to keep us together as a family, but that did it. There

was just no coming back from that. That was it. There is no coming back from that level of betrayal. I couldn't believe it. Like I just couldn't believe that not only was he having an affair, but he had moved her down the street. Yeah, I was like too much for me to, to get over. Holy shit. So I imagine that this, uh, with a lot more other details are going to be a part of this book that you're going to have coming out. Yeah. Do you have a name for it already? I'm thinking about how to lose the next child star in 18 years because I'm slow, but I'm not sure yet. We haven't really, you know, also I'm thinking I'm getting thrown under the Partridge family bus or something like that. That's clever. Yeah. So we haven't decided

yet, but, um, but yeah, I'm, I, it's so, I hate the word cathartic cause it's so dumb and overused, but it was really good for me to write it. And I hadn't watched the episodes or seen the show since it was on. So that was really weird for me to rewatch it. And I just go, God, how did I get through that? You know, and it's pretty intense. Yeah. Yeah. Now have you gone into any therapy on your own to kind of deal with, you know, cause obviously there was a reason that you were attracted to this type of personality. You know, and I don't know if you want to go through all that again with another dude. I feel like I have been through so much therapy, you know, cause we were in a lot of therapy together that I don't really go now, but I have had to sort of

on a conscious level, think about that in the future who I attract and maybe not go down that road again. So yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I'm trying, but you know, the one thing I do want to say is that even though the stories are ugly, a lot of them in the book about Danny, ultimately I do think he is a really decent person and he has a big heart, you know, he's just not somebody you want to be married to. So sure. And you have, you know, you obviously have two kids. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was the only thing I regret about the show was I didn't even realize like the internet, because right when we started doing the show, that's when people started blogging. I didn't really, I wasn't really familiar with that. So I never factored that in that that

could be really bad for my children. And that was the bad part that my kids could see what people were writing. And you know, of course people, you know, anonymity, people say some pretty mean things and yeah. And they had told me, don't read it. And I'm like, Oh, it'll be funny. And then I read it. I was like, Oh my God, is that what people think about me? And but the thing with, with these years you had with Danny, and I think people should keep in mind is that this is a man who I think is probably a decent person. He is a good, he's a smart guy. He's got the biggest heart of anyone I know. But he's also dealing with a crippling addiction. Yeah. And he had a really different childhood. I don't think any of us can relate to how he grew up. Nope. And that's why

like watching it, I always had empathy for both of you. Yeah, because you're like, this is just a dude dealing with his disease. Yeah, huge problem. Yeah. You know, and I, but you have your side of the story and he has his side, obviously. Yeah. Well, I felt like you, I mean, that's why I had so much compassion for him, because I knew about his bless you. His upbringing, you know, that his father was not the nicest man. And, you know, and then being a child and having the rest of the world say, Oh, my God, you're the best, we love you. And then having a dad say, I can't stand you, what you do is a step below pimping. Bless you. Like, he had no chance, you know, I mean, to have that sort of relationship with your father who always makes you feel like you are worthless.

And then having the rest of the world, I mean, I don't even know how as a child, your brain can process that kind of thing. That's incredibly damaging. Yeah. And I used to, I was a writer on Chelsea lately for a minute and a half. And I remember having to write jokes about Lindsay Lohan and what she was going through. And there's a point where I'm like, wait a minute, this is a girl who never had a chance. Yeah, she was raised in a show business family. Her parents are doing what they're doing to her. Like, she's a young girl who's going through her own shit. How much can we crucify her? Yeah, exactly. Let her fucking grow up. Let her have it, you know. It's hard. I mean, I don't know the child star experience either, how that must be difficult.

But I tried so hard to give Danny a normal life, you know, we tried. I mean, when we got married in Phoenix, then he lost his job because of the tranny thing. Then he got a job in Philly. We moved there. You keep laughing at that, you know, it's crazy. Then we moved to Chicago, then we moved to Detroit, then we moved to New York City, then we moved here. Jesus. So yeah, that's radio, you know, they say you got to go. There's a different job. And of course, you want to keep moving up, you know, it's the nature. But, you know, we had a lot of good years and a lot of times he was fine. You know, I think that when he became the craziest and some of his family members agree with me was after that affair, like I think she mentally liked it such a number on him.

She did a number on him and it's also him having to process, you know, keeping it a secret and dealing with the affair. I couldn't sit there in front of you if I was having an affair with someone and act like everything's normal and fine. That makes sense as to why he got the craziest. It's not just the act of the affair. It's all the stresses of lying and all the little pieces that go with it that are going to make him crazy. Yeah. And I didn't realize, you know, like a lot of times when they were supposed to be together and then I would make a plan for us to do something that he would get so crazy because she was putting the pressure on him that you're supposed to be with me. And of course, I don't know, you know, I'm just like, oh, let's do this with the family. Yeah,

well, what's the problem? Yeah, you know, so it was so weird. What is the stats today between you guys? I mean, do you have any type of, you know, not really? He's remarried and I like his wife. She's very nice. And I'm just so glad he's fine because that was also another thing that weighed heavy on me. If I leave this man and he doesn't have a family to ground him, he's not going to make it. And so I am so glad that I'm wrong, you know, he seems fine. He's like got like a number one radio show in Seattle and we don't really talk. It's just too hard. You know, I want to be friends with him and I try, but when you get out of being manipulated, I just won't stand for it. So you know, the second he tries to do, I'm like, buh-bye. You have to communicate though

because of the kids and stuff. Yeah, but we don't really. I really work more through his wife and you know, every once in a while, I'll talk to him, but it's brief. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to ask you this. So I saw him on Oprah. Where are they now? And he he goes, yeah, I'm remarried now. You know, he talks to that. First of all, addendum. When he talks, is it painful for him? It always looks like he's in pain when he talks like he's really like straight. His throat is bleeding. Is what you feel like? Well, he's had throat surgery, so you might be right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see. But the the reds, the Marl reds helped that, right? Yeah, that helped. And then followed by the tequila that was helpful too. And the screaming. Yeah. Yeah. So I saw him and he was

talking about he's been sober since 2011. And he and I, this could just be me as a wife. And I saw him go and it's all because of this new wife. Yes. This 20 something year old life. And in my head, I'm going, fuck you. Like as a woman, you know, you take care of your husband and you especially took so much care of him for 18 years. And now he's going to credit his sobriety and is being straightened out to this new broad. Like, well, he was supposedly sober with the girl he was having the affair with too. So it really doesn't mean anything. But but I hope he is, you know, I don't want anything bad for him. You have a very good attitude about it. Yeah. Very healthy. You know what? I just want him to do well. And, you know, I am a little worried how he's going

to react to this book. But, you know, I deserve this podcast. But I, you know, I feel like I've never really been able to have my say because people really don't care about my opinion. You know, he's the celebrity and I was the wife that I know it's weird, but they don't agree. I wanted to know what you were about the whole time. And that's why I'm so excited to finally have you here because I think for the female viewers, we want it. Well, how does she deal with that? And how did she feel? And what did you do? And look, if he's upset about this, I feel like he put himself out there with the show in the first place. And I don't really, I mean, you're giving us stories like extended and little nuance, but essentially it's this, that's who he was at that

time. Yeah. Well, I, it's not my intention to try to make him look bad. I'm not writing a book about, it's like I said, I'm not writing a tell all book. I'm writing a tell some book because even some of the things I won't even tell because they're so bad, you know, I don't want him to look like a bad person. But the things that he did, he did them. And I'm, you know, I should be able to talk about it. And it's on your side of the story. Yeah. And I've never been able to really say it. Because again, no one's really cared about my side story. So thank you for caring. Of course. And I also think, by the way, and I'm not him and I can't give his opinion, but he seems like he might also say that like, you know, what you're saying now and what's in the book,

might be an accurate representation of who he was then. Yeah. You know, I mean, I don't know, obviously, what he'll respond with, but yeah, maybe he'll be like, you know, that was, I was that fucked up. And yeah, I did say and do those fucked up things. Well, that's one of the things about him that's so beautiful is that I used to call him bulletproof man because he would out himself before someone else could, you know, and to me, that is how you get yourself in trouble is when you're lying and people find out what he just always told the truth about how bad he was, right, that people couldn't go. Oh, that guy's so bad because he did it first. You know, it's a great, like it's almost like a defense mechanism where you just out at yourself. Yeah.

So then no one has ammo on you, which is the way it should be. Yeah. You know, I try to always tell the truth because then you can't get hurt. Well, it's what you do in stand up in comedy. In comedy, you talk about your own flaws so that you're not then no one else can say them. Right. You get you get them out of the way. Like, I'm balding. I'm fat. I'm gonna, you know, then they're like, Oh, well, yeah, I already said it. You know, you can't say it. You can't hold it. Yeah. Plus with Danny, like, I mean, if you have half a fuck of brain in your head and you're watching that show, you had empathy for him and for you. Yeah. You know, any reasonable person would go, this is just a guy who's in a lot of pain. Yeah. And let's have

empathy for him. I think I hope so. And I think people do. Yeah. I mean, I think there's some people that just like the train wreck aspect, but I do think a lot of people did feel bad for him, you know, because it was painful to watch. Like when he's sitting on the side of the thing and putting all that vodka into that drink, just talking about that, the cranberry juice strip. And by the way, he had that move down. He did. Yeah. He done that a few times. I think the actual bar is called at the Bonaducci and they serve that drink. Yes. Jesus. Yes. And I also heard there was like breaking Bonaducci college parties where everybody would get together to watch it. So I believe it. So who knows, but I'm like, I'm excited about the book before we

wrapped this up though. We got something to ask. It's looking good. Breaking news. It looks really good. Oh, it's scaring me. You have very nice teeth. Tell us about your dental history. Well, I have lumineers on the top because that's all I could afford. I couldn't afford to do the bottom one. Give me a big stretch. Those look great. Look at those. Can I see please? May I have a smile? Very nice. Thank you. Yes. You floss every day. I try to. I try to. Okay. Yes. But you brush. A lot. Yes. I think what is that from Pretty in Pink? What he says when he's got the floss? What's the Anthony Michael Hall and Molly Ringwald and he was trying to get all the men's like fresh breath is a priority or something. Oh, yes. I think that's what it might be weird

science. I'm not sure. Do you go to the dentist regularly? Yes. Okay. Twice a year. I get the cleaning. You make the kids go and stuff right? Always. Did you have braces? No braces. That's your natural. Wow. Look at that bottom row. That's kind of a little tight in there. They could probably use to be moved down a little bit. They look great. They look great. Real nice teeth. What are you two up to? No, this is a segment. This is a regular. We have a dental update. Especially with guests. Wow. Well, you know what? I would like to say that I found the cheapest guy to do my luminaires. They're very expensive. Gretchen. That's a super dental update. Please. Wow. Thank you. Like this. You want to plug the guy?

Dr. God's. I think his name was Bjorn Bach. Dr. Bjorn Bach in Van Nuys. And he was $500 a teeth cheaper than anyone else because they're very expensive. I just had my two front veneers done. Was it $1,500? Yes. Dr. Sam Lee did them here in South Bay. Bjorn Bach was $9.50. I know that's why I could do 10 teeth on the top. They're painful, aren't they? Was yours painful and mine were painful? Not at all. They look great, Gretchen. Thank you. Really nice teeth. So the listeners can obviously want them to hit you up on Twitter. On Singer. That's A. And K. H. A. And K. H. Singer. Yep. We're assuming you're single right now? I am. I'm dating. Can they send you're dating?

You're out there dating? I am. Yeah, you know what? I'm ambivalent. Like I'm getting a little scared. So hit her up on Twitter. Ask her out on Twitter. Ask her for a date. Take a break. You deserve it. You know what? Well, I was engaged for six years after Danny and I. Six years? Yeah. Yeah, I've been with somebody for six years and I just broke it off. So I know it was sad. I love the duty. So awesome. But I just don't think he's marriage material. Maybe. We'll hear you. Oh, there you go. Trust your instinct, trust your gut, right? Yeah. Hold out for marriage material. Yes, because you guys can see what a great judge I am of men and character. Let us choose your next partner for you. How about that, right? You saying no sounds good. How about that? How about

that? Yeah, we're saying I've learned to say no. That's good. That's good. I did that the first time around. Got someone to marry me by saying no. There you go. Boundaries. Boundaries. Jean, do you have anything? No, just thank you so much for coming. This was amazing. And I'm so thankful that you're here. You just you're wonderful. And when your book comes out, we'll re-plug this for you. We'll re-air this episode. Thank you. So people go and get it. Download it. I hope so. I hope so. We're very excited about it. I hope at least I can cover all my legal fees. I'm going to have up front. Cross your fingers. It's going to be a good thing. Thank you for coming in. Make sure you follow her on Twitter and on the Facebook is Gretchen Bannaducci. And the website

for the band is TheFatal80s.com. TheFatal80s.com. Oh, and we're playing Hermosa Fiesta. Which is down the street from you guys. September 1st. I would love it if you come and I want to come see you in Pasadena. Oh, you should. August 9th. Yes. Come out. Okay. Good. What's up? Good. Fun. Fun. Exciting. Thank you guys for having me. Thank you. Bye, everybody. you