Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Hard For Hot Dads | Your Mom's House Ep. 838

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to your mom's house. Hope you had a great holiday week. You were with your families. If you're an American, if you're not American, nothing matters anyway. No. Your life isn't significant.

Starting point is 00:00:25 You know what really made me upset is that we're not black. Because Black Thanksgiving, from what I understand, is where it is. Black Thanksgiving is NBA All-Star Weekend. Is that what you're talking about? No. Oh, are you talking about Thanksgiving? Their actual food items I've heard are so much superior because we don't have flavor in our food, which is why I don't enjoy Thanksgiving dinner.

Starting point is 00:00:51 Bland, bland, bland, bland, bland. Flavorless. I don't like it at all. Why did the settlers not enjoy seasoning? I don't like turkey. I don't like cranberry sauce. I don't like fucking pumpkin pie. I like the pie.

Starting point is 00:01:07 Yeah, I don't like it. Don't fuck what. I don't like it. But the turkey is dry and seasoned gravy is disgusting. Luckily, we were at a place that also did like a prime rib. Yeah. But it's bloody and gross too. Prime rib doesn't taste like shit either.

Starting point is 00:01:24 I mean, it was pretty good. It was seasoned well. Wouldn't you say overall that American food is flavorless and bland cardboard much like our English ancestors I'd say theirs is more like I mean there's seasoned good

Starting point is 00:01:38 flavored food here but black people make it not the whites black people do season the shit out of their food that's true their whole thing is like here's a hundred thousand times the amount of seasoning you think you need

Starting point is 00:01:52 because doesn't that lead to high sodium and then they get the diabetes At the sugar, yeah, yeah. So there's always got to be a middle ground. There's a middle ground, and it's with Latinos, yes. You think, what do they do? Tamales.

Starting point is 00:02:08 Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Everybody has their own cuisines, but, I mean, if you talk about real crackers, then, like, yeah, their food is bland, right? Yeah. And if you go to, like. Whites, American whites, very. I don't know. But if you go to southern whites, they seem to see it because they're around so many black people. That's a good point.

Starting point is 00:02:27 Yeah. Now, if you go to white, whites, whites. West Coast whites, they're mostly influenced by Jews and Mexicans. For instance, where I grew up in L.A. Flavortown, USA. We like to have seasons, seasonings and stuff. Yeah. But here in Texas, I don't know. They like it pretty crackery. You think so?

Starting point is 00:02:46 They like barbecue, which is black adjacent. Yeah, it's black. But that's flavorful. That's Flavortown. You go to the barbecue places. You don't go like there's no seasoning here. No, I like it. Yeah, it's flavored. And there's usually like a big honky over the Pitmaster. It's like a big, fucking fat white guy.

Starting point is 00:03:01 Whites like to barbecue. You love it. But I don't like a dry rub. I like a wet rub. Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, you're in the right place. I mean, Texas has a lot of sauces.

Starting point is 00:03:12 Uh-huh. My favorite is Dreamland barbecue. That's your favorite? That's my favorite. I like La Barbecue here in Austin. That shit is excellent. And I also like Terry Blacks. Of course.

Starting point is 00:03:27 There's a bunch of good ones, to be honest. But I like that La Barbecue Bresket a lot. It's really good. Can I tell you what's really been making a splash? Your croissants. Holy shit. People, I don't think you understand. I don't think you understand.

Starting point is 00:03:42 This isn't like me going like, oh, I found a business to invest in. No. Like I made it a mission to bring my favorite pastry to the place that I live. Yeah. And it meant like hiring people to move states. and open a place, they're selling out every day. Every day. If you have not been to Chichobamba, it's in the fairground food hall in downtown Austin,

Starting point is 00:04:07 which is right on Congress. It's underneath the Wells Fargo building. And it's a bunch of little food setups. Bro, this food is outrageous. This is fresh made, the real deal, authentic Italian pastries. And we have savory stuff too. But we're selling out daily. Like, people are messaging me.

Starting point is 00:04:29 I got here. Everything's sold out, which is, it is so exciting. I know, I'm so excited. And the post that I've been seeing on Instagram are that people are like, guys, this is real Italian stuff. It's the real deal. It's not the horse shit that America feeds you, these bland favorite. This is real Italian stuff, guys.

Starting point is 00:04:48 It is, man. This guy, he's fantastic. Giamba is like the, he's. He is. He's a real dude who brought, like, his. recipes from the from the motherland with him you know like he he's like a traditional story of like mother cooked a lot and he just got you know into it at a young age and then just developed his own skills and passion for it but um that's a family business it's a legit family these are just

Starting point is 00:05:16 family people yeah he's a fiery italian dude yeah that's so good he's great he's great yeah and uh yeah he makes amazing food um the sweet stuff is is is, again, you know, it's such a treat. And then he does a bunch of savory stuff. He's doing homemade focatcha and pizza and, yeah, dude, it's all amazing. Stop by, stop by and see us. We do have a more elaborate fixed location opening after the new year. It's probably going to be, honestly, like, in March.

Starting point is 00:05:45 But this pop-up location is going to stay until then, at least. So come by and see us. That's really impressive. Also, guys, I want to thank everybody that purchased Black Friday stuff for a Christian. Christina p.com, my lipsticks, my velvet crush blush, my radiance balm. It is all out now. This is the entire collection for the holidays. I highly recommend ordering now to get it in time for Christmas, for Chonica, for whatever it is you're celebrating. This is my new favorite color, you guys. This is it. I'm wearing it right now. It's called Cuts You Up. It's liquid lipstick,

Starting point is 00:06:20 and it stays on forever. And then I have my two glosses, my whimsy kiss gloss, two new shades. It's all there. ChristinaP.com. Get it for the girls in your life. Get it. So good. It's such high quality stuff, you guys. And I know you're thinking,

Starting point is 00:06:34 this, I don't know, I don't trust this brand. This isn't Sephora. This isn't, yeah, because that stuff is cheap shit, okay? Wow. It's true. Shot's fired. It's true. I have my stuff imported all the way from Italy,

Starting point is 00:06:46 much like our croissants. Mm-hmm. And it's, the quality is unrivaled. I like that. What was that sound? That was just an explosion. quality that was a new one yeah pretty cool Christina's got a new products in the store

Starting point is 00:07:02 yeah we have a new store too by the way the YMH store yes yes whole new thing we got we hired new designers they have no all new products the quality of the stuff is outrageous so much yeah we have where are the bodies we have which is taking the internet by store this new high and tighthood it's so

Starting point is 00:07:25 nice the fabric is so great there's some like hats there's some bumper stickers there's all kinds of cool stuff like there's um yeah it's really exciting there's some new two bears stuff like um check it out store dot ymh studios dot com all right uh also one last plug my new special teacher comes out christmas eve on netflix so get your families together get grandma get the kids by the Christmas tree, and on December 24th or 25th, watch Teacher only on Netflix. I'm so, I got to say, Tim, I feel like I'm going to cry because I'm so impressed with this hour. I'm so, I'm very emotional. I'm serious, and I feel like we're doing a press junket for Wicked right now.

Starting point is 00:08:18 I know. I feel like I'm so, Ariana Grande. Are you holding space for me? I am holding space for you, yes. No, I am actually emotional because you talk about more personal stuff. Yeah, it was a really fucking, it was a great tour. I have to be like express how grateful I am for the tour. Like, it was a great tour.

Starting point is 00:08:42 My crew is fucking awesome, you know, Keir and Matt and Dave, Gary, Sean. And I brought a number of people, but a lot of the tours with Kirk Fox and Jeff Tate, who are two good friends of mine for a long time and it was um in jordan and i brought jordan a few times too yeah but those guys were on the majority of the days um it was just like a really it was a fun experience like i felt like um a varsity comedian in that i figured out how to tour a little more uh thoughtfully than before and i felt like um that i kept it fun and and then i ended up up doing stand-up that I was really happy with, you know. Yeah, and the, I mean, I don't know, I can cut this out if you want to, but there's

Starting point is 00:09:33 stories about our kids. Yeah, yeah. And I think it was really cool that they, you got to show that. I got to show them the other day. I was, I was in the edit, and I brought my boys around, and I kind of thought about it. I was like, oh, are they going to get, like, you know what I mean? Because I've had things that before, you know, anybody who has kids, you realize that there's things that a kid can grasp and things that they don't grasp yet right like they're they're

Starting point is 00:10:00 maturing they're evolving so i was like are they going to get it if i show them this chunk talking about them are they going to be like hey what's that all about and i was just like no i think they'll get it so i just sat them down i was like hey you understand that like it's a performance right and like you like i was kind of explaining like how comedy's always based on exaggerating something right it was an exaggeration factor i'm like are they going to intellectually grasp that And they were like, yeah, yeah, and I got it. And then I showed it to him, and they were fucking howling. And I think it was the most fun I've ever had showing stand-up to anyone was seeing them because it was talking about them.

Starting point is 00:10:38 Yeah. And he was like, yeah, that's me, man. Yeah. He was really excited. Because there's some neat things you say about me. There's neat stuff everywhere. Really cool, but I don't think I'd have the same reaction. You don't think so?

Starting point is 00:10:48 You showed me my bits. Well, you've seen the bits. Backstage, yes. I wouldn't dare go in the audience for those. Too embarrassing. You've had that experience before, too. Oh, have I? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:04 So, anyway, really special. And I think, I think it's fantastic. I'm so happy that they're releasing it on Christmas. Yeah, that's really exciting. You think you have something nice to watch with your family. Yeah, it's a fun family watch. All right, we took forever to open. I know.

Starting point is 00:11:19 What is the last time? You want to see the opener? Yeah. Let's do it, Joe. Here we go. Let's go. He. Here you go.

Starting point is 00:11:27 You guys are all a bunch of fucking losers. I mentioned I like someone. I really like someone. First time and I lose three or four followers, you fucking idiots. You're talking to a man that's been Sullivan for 17 fucking years. I've got five fucking kids that I already raised. Pay child support and everything.

Starting point is 00:11:49 You know, I got two dead fucking wives. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone mother to this. The mother in a bad day. It's good up there. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Spurray and Christina Pajitson. Welcome to your Miao's house.

Starting point is 00:12:13 Miao, yeah, yeah. Yeah. For that For that So 80s You know what that theme song needs What's the need? A saxophone

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Starting point is 00:15:32 some guys playing the saxophone. It's instantly a party. Lost Boys, there's a band playing, saxophone player. Saxes, what's up? St. Elmo's Fire, what does fucking Roblo play? Wow, you have these all on fucking locks. saxophone because I've... You're thinking about saxophones a lot.

Starting point is 00:15:49 Wow. I mean, no one just pulls out that much saxon knowledge unless it's on your mind a lot. You just fucking, we're like, this is what I've been thinking about. I do. I do. I do. Do you think this video needs a saxophone? He needs a lot. I don't understand why he needs two shells around his neck.

Starting point is 00:16:06 I feel like one would have been sufficient. And it's been 18 fucking years and I mentioned one person and he's fucking losers leave. I like his knife hanging on the wall. Goodbye. you fucking freaks. Yeah. I'm not far behind. The social media bullshit is

Starting point is 00:16:24 fucking bullshit. Yeah. Having a law fucking day. Loser. Baby, he has a machete on his wall. Well, there's a lot going on. There's a lot.

Starting point is 00:16:41 Also, the thing is that he made this video, which is interesting, because I'm kind of deduced what's happening. He said he's interested in someone And then he clocked that he lost followers Three or four And then he got really upset about that I wish he could see how

Starting point is 00:16:56 My page operates He'd shit his pants I'd be like yeah I said something I lost like 5,000 people Same And I also was like Yeah that's fine That's okay

Starting point is 00:17:09 Yeah well these guys are nobs Because he's a boomer He's not really used to it And now he's like I've shared my soul He seems he's really tracking the number. Well, he's new. He's like, whatever, 328, and then today it's 353.

Starting point is 00:17:23 But he was saying... 22, whatever. But he's saying that he's celibate, right? Like, he was not having sex. Yeah, he said 17 years, which is a long time. Wow. People in the comments keep calling him Gary Busey, which is pretty funny. What's his, can you go to his page?

Starting point is 00:17:41 There he is. Oh, that's why he knows. He's got 720, but that's, you know, 720 people. It's a lot of people. Google Daddy is his handle. That's interesting. What's he saying there? He looks pretty, like, well-adjusted in this one with the seashells.

Starting point is 00:17:55 Good morning. Should I say afternoon? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You got to get that time of day right. Smile. That's it. All right.

Starting point is 00:18:08 Giving us a tour of his apartment complex? That's the parking deck. That's kind of cool. It's dirty. It's repaving. that's it he's not going to talk over it Sunday I haven't figured out where I'm going to put that monster TV the remote control hasn't come in yet I can't turn it on without the remote

Starting point is 00:18:30 true so fortunately yeah it's only $10 for this remote so unfortunately I'm going to have to rearrange my whole apartment okay well so well hold on Tom how's he gonna I mean it's compelling stuff that he's putting out I'm surprise he's had people stick around this long I gotta tell you man the best thing you ever put out was talking these fucking losers about believing abandoning you

Starting point is 00:18:55 like feeling that emotion I really connected with that video I connected with that video but what I'm connecting with now is that he's got two frisbys that are still in the packaging what is he saving the frisbys for I don't know you guys are all a bunch of fucking losers

Starting point is 00:19:11 he loves frisbys though I love frisbys, but what's the point of a frisbee if you're not going to play with the frisbee? Maybe he gives them away or something? I mean, I think they're back-ofs because he's got one out of the package. Right. Oh, a fucking day. You know, we kind of glossed over this line.

Starting point is 00:19:30 I got two dead fucking wives. Two. Two. That's such bad luck. I mean, you've been widowed and then it happens again? Oh, it's so bad luck. Jesus. But he seems like a.

Starting point is 00:19:44 upbeat guy most of the time what i'm seeing is a pretty upbeat guy goodbye you fucking freaks that he was just really emotional that day really anger you got to channel that anger somewhere wow too he's a humbled hawaiian so he's in hawaii he's lost two wives what's this math 1234 12 304 he's got it pinned so that's a very important thing humility is not thinking less of yourself humility is thinking of yourself less see he's on the right path that's a good one he's figuring it out sunday november 30th that's a that's a screenshot of his phone yeah i think 1234's the time that's what time it was when he's screenshot one two three four well it's significant spiritually he's saying this is significant still learning ugh l-o l-l jk i messed up and archive deleted this original post

Starting point is 00:20:35 Spent past one hour Sifting through posts To find much to new avail There's still a god That's a fucking wild caption There's so much in there Oh LOLJK

Starting point is 00:20:50 What All right But also the choice to write In all caps Is so bold Yeah It's like you're screaming It feels like someone's yelling at you

Starting point is 00:21:02 Yeah it does the intent is like, guys, I am L-O-L-J-K, I messed up and archived. Deleted this original. It's a lot. That's the intonation, right? Embrace lowercase letters, man. It's a lot.

Starting point is 00:21:17 But he's, look, I'm going to say, I'm a fan. Keep doing your thing, Google Daddy. And let us know how the remote control works out in a new place. And I hope he does this person he's interested in reciprocates. I think that would be nice. Speaking of. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:33 Overthens. Thanksgiving. We were staying at a hotel that had a pool. We were in Southern California and we had some things to do there. So we're there with the kids and we would go to the pool. The kids loved the children's pool. The children's pool. The family. The family pool. Yes. There's an adult pool that you look at and you kind of lust after and then it just kind of fades away and you just stare and you'd be nice. That would be nice. You're around the kid pool, which is fine. Everyone's they are hanging out so one day as we're hanging out i notice this fucking specimen of a man a lot of times when we go on vacations we are we know the fit dads so when you're a dad

Starting point is 00:22:17 you just you notice that there's some fit dads and fit moms yes but here's well here's the thing this is the thing i've put together sure i'm not interested in the fit moms i'm only interested in fit dads. I want to look at, I, I, my eyes drift towards the men when I'm at the beach or I'm at the pool. If I see a beautiful woman, you go, yeah, it's a beautiful woman. If I see a, a hot guy, I go, I want to know this person. I want to get to know them. I want to be with them. Yeah. I want to spend time with them. So I see this guy and I'm like, holy shit. Like this guy's physique was unbelievable. He looked like, to be fair, he didn't look like a fit guy. It wasn't like a that works out he looked exemplary he looked like an olympian you know he was if like there's only a few

Starting point is 00:23:07 things with his body size that i would even believe that he had participated in i mean he was either i was like this guy was either an off-season bodybuilder where you're like oh yeah i would believe that this guy's a bodybuilding i mean he had this type of it wasn't it wasn't dialed up all the way that's why i said off-season like it wasn't like i'm about to compete but he looked at look to me like like a fucking Olympic gymnast you know I mean I think gymnast too because he also had those hip cuts yeah that that's like Brad Pitt level fight club fit am I right like that's not just I work out that's I work out and I fuck and I right I don't know where you're going with I don't know either but the point being that of all the fit dads yeah he was kind of like that

Starting point is 00:23:57 No, he was not even anything like this at all. That looks nothing like him. But in the kiddie pool dad world, he's that of... Well, he was the elite, but like he looked ten times better than this. Wow. You don't understand, because you don't know what you're looking at, that this is just a really lean guy. There's no mass to this guy.

Starting point is 00:24:19 The guy you're looking at now, this Brad Pitt shot, he's 150 pounds here. The guy that we saw had like, was lean. and had like like muscle to him like the dude was built and it didn't look like he didn't look like a gym rat he looked like I said like an Olympian so this is my question to you then and he looked and his hair was incredible don't even talk about his hair his hair looked amazing he had a full head and it was like light chestnut brown nice sparkling eyes yeah great disposition yeah he was he was having a good time great personality not a booze bag I didn't seem over indulging

Starting point is 00:24:57 Nope. He was there with his three kids and his wife. She was in great shape. So I noticed the wife separately because I also look at other women's bodies, too, to compare myself to them. And she looked great for three kids. Holy shit. Yeah. They were both very fit. I want to know him so bad. So I was like, you know, I was eyeballing him. I was trying to get some, I ordered a couple of drinks to build up confidence. I wanted to go meet him, you know, and just I get to know. know him, getting to know his life, see if there's a chance with us. So I was like, eyeballing him. And then one time he was in the hot tub and the bathroom is near the hot tub. And I got up and I was like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. And as I walked up, he looked up and he winked and smiled at me. And I felt my heart flutter. I was like, I was like, holy shit. He, he, he got a chance.

Starting point is 00:25:50 Yeah, he saw me. He likes me. Well, Andy knows you're famous and he already likes you. So you've already got the leg of course you know but then here's the thing i could never like i wasn't going to come up to him when he was like with his family you know i was i was looking for an opening yeah that's weird and so this is just kind of like a misconnection kind of moment i'd like to put out there that like i know you saw me and i saw you and i feel like there's so many questions that like we both want to answer listen up it's that time of year when you have to find the perfect gift for everyone and your mom. You need something that says, I actually thought about you, even if it wasn't until the last second. That's where ORA frames comes in. Oh my God, it's the best gift because

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Starting point is 00:29:09 renews until canceled. Additional terms at dkng.com slash audio, limited time offer. So if, um, I mean, if you saw me, you know who you are. I'd like to know who you are. You know, I have so many questions.

Starting point is 00:29:24 So many questions. Yeah, I want to know what he does. I want to know what he does. Because here's the deal, man. If he is like a businessman, then that means he's got to wake up at like 4 a.m. He's hitting the gym every day. He is, dude. He is.

Starting point is 00:29:38 And he's on like a schedule. He's very disciplined. Very disciplined. Which is an admirable trait because so are you. You're down to what, 4% body fat now? No, that's the goal. Oh. That's the goal.

Starting point is 00:29:50 Speaking of, we're going to talk to you about body fat in a second, Mr. Eni. but yeah the goal is to be like yeah I mean I want to be like people where people go is he about to die like that kind of level you know where you know I mean I haven't had a scan in a while but I I'm in the upper teens for sure oh wow yeah I got a long way to go a lot of shame yeah of course well that's what I remember I was like hey should I even walk near him like I don't know if he'll be like upset you know and that really upset me Tom because you bring a lot to the table as well Don't think that he's better than you He can't put that dead on a pedestal

Starting point is 00:30:28 You're just as good as him I thought I was going to walk by and he was just going to go Disgusting and then like turn his head You know Disgusting He smiled He smiled and he winked He did

Starting point is 00:30:39 Yeah But I think do you think he was winking because like He was like hey I know you Or do you think he was winking like Hey what's up hello I think it was both Both I think it could have been hey what's up

Starting point is 00:30:50 Because also where he winked at you If you were called is right by the bar and then there's the jacuzzi and then that one bathroom. And we saw a lot of inappropriate making out sessions in that area of the kitty pool, of the children's area. So maybe he was like suggesting, hey, this is the corner. Oh, where things happen. Where stuff happens.

Starting point is 00:31:12 Why don't you get a drink and meet me in the bathroom? That's right. I never put that together. And any asked the question earlier, which was really smart of like, is he joyful? Yeah, was he having a good time? Because what does that mean any if a man is joyful? Well, I asked if he was having too much fun, you know? Because, like, you know, we like to have fun.

Starting point is 00:31:28 But if you're having too much fun, you're just smiley, you're laughing all the time. Well, what you're smiling so much for, man? I was, I was questioning it. And then you said that he winked at you. I'm like, that says it. Yeah, he's gay. Fuck, it's for sure. Fuck, dude.

Starting point is 00:31:43 Either he's an Olympian or a bodybuilder, like you're saying. Or he likes a dick. It's the only, there's no other way. But he has three kids, dude. Do gay guys have, hold on, allegedly, three kids? Three kids, yeah. I know. I don't think he's gay.

Starting point is 00:32:06 I mean, I don't think he's gay. You just think he likes what he saw. You guys have a mutual admiration of one another's physique, discipline. No, I don't think he has an admiration for mine, but I think we both would, I think we'd like to get this conversation. Like, I'd like to meet this person. I want to know his story You understand I want to know his story

Starting point is 00:32:25 I want to know his background I want to know what he does I know what you're talking about I get obsessed with strangers too Yeah We're like what is the deal What is the story? Dude he's so handsome

Starting point is 00:32:34 I know And his like I said His physique was unbelievable And he's got a nice family It's like I want to know more And also like the wife didn't resent him Or hate him Which you see a lot at the kids pool

Starting point is 00:32:46 Because the woman's usually doing everything And the husband's not doing shit No They were like They were like Good rapport He was engaged In the family

Starting point is 00:32:54 And he was laughing Having fun But not too much fun So I saw him Near Near like I noticed him first Okay keep on

Starting point is 00:33:04 Well I also ran into him At like the kids area Like where the kids play And he was just Like smiling Having a good time Too much Too much

Starting point is 00:33:14 You think that's too much If he's having a good time I mean I don't know I'd have to be there Yeah There's a there's a certain ratio of you know smiling and this move a lot too because he had like he had great hair he was doing this so much hair you know like like dreamy hair like just like shampoo commercial

Starting point is 00:33:32 hair i don't know it could be it could just also be as full it could be like the situation you know what i'm saying yeah it could be it could be that sort of thing uh i'd have to see him i don't know god he was a dream vote should we give his identifying feature like this the only way we're going to. It's the only way you're really going to get to know. It's the only way we're going to get to find this person. If this is real now, you're going to make this happen. If you give away this identifying characteristic, this will manifest time. I don't know my heart's racing. I don't know if I can do this. Just do it. All right. So he, we already described him, dark hair. How tall? He wasn't that tall. He's perfect. What do you mean not that tall in man world? I mean, he's under six feet tall. Okay. I got to. He's perfect. He's perfect. What do you mean, not very tall in man world? I mean, he's under six feet tall. Okay. I got to. I got to. I got a. I got. He's, I don't remember. I didn't ever stand next to him, but he didn't feel short. He wasn't like 5'4, but he was probably like, I'm guessing like around 5'9 or something. That's my guess.

Starting point is 00:34:28 Perfect height. Yeah. Like I said, fucking super jacked, but like in an athletic way. It didn't look like like a juice head type of jack. No, I mean, he looked like athletic jacked. He built that over years. Like he swam in college. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:47 I think he was a swimmer. So here's the thing. It was an upper back circular tattoo in the upper back. And that was his only tattoo. In between his shoulder blades, circular. I would say like maybe a snake coiled or like a dragon, like a chakra thing. Could be like a yin-yang. I didn't see it up close.

Starting point is 00:35:05 Sir, we've identified you. We know who you are. We have questions. I want to know who you are, what you do, what your background. What Division I sport did you play? Are you currently involved in athletics? And also, I think, Tom, if I may be so bold, are you open to making a new friend? Yeah, you want to be friends?

Starting point is 00:35:23 I think you want to make a new friend. I mean, clearly we vacation well together. Okay. Yeah. Well, there you go. I put it out there's, I'd like to meet my new friend. There's a lady at my gym who I admire too. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:38 But you're like, oh, they're so, like, she's such a dream and she's so aloof. And I just want her approval. Like, I just want her to be like, hey, Christina. How are you doing? And like, she's just, she's so above. She just won't. I think, I wonder if I'm, if I know this person, because I've been there too. Is she elite?

Starting point is 00:35:57 Yeah. Like super elite? I mean, in my world, like in a 50-year-old lady care category? No, no. I just mean objectively elite. I don't think so. I don't think so. But I think she looks amazing and like her personality.

Starting point is 00:36:11 Like, she's just so cool and like whatever, like kind of East Coasty and just like funny and unbothered and I'm like I just want that I just want some of that like I want her to shine her light on me I get it and like be like I don't care about any of these people but you Christina yeah like I want to give my friendship my heart to you to you because you're worth it and then I'll be oh thanks dude bro bro bro thank you bro thanks dog and by the way why are people making out at the kids pool that was that was fucking so inappropriate dude there's two other pools you could have fucked in, like you had to put, you had to make out in the children's pool? I saw this one couple do it at the bar.

Starting point is 00:36:54 Yeah. And this wasn't like a fucking Margarita Ville place. You know? And like, they were fully fucking groping each other. Fully into it. Get your shit together. There's kids everywhere. They were hammered.

Starting point is 00:37:06 It had to be. That's why you do that. But there's two, like I said, great pools to go make out of it. I know. They should tell them. Be like, hey, excuse me. Can you go like ejaculate in the other pool? Could you go do that somewhere?

Starting point is 00:37:16 in the ejaculation jacuzzi and there's always a guy we noticed at the end of the night or the end of the pool cycle day there's always an alone guy in the jacuzzi when the whole pool's gone yeah everyone's gone there's one guy's out and there's this one guy and you're like holy shit is there a guy in there one guy harry alone in the jacuzzi yeah it's either that or it's before sun before the sun goes down there'll be a guy in there who's who's talking to someone like about business yeah you know well i just try to you know i saw this company and i said i could do something with that and you're like okay this guy's giving like he's boasting about his business act yeah yeah it's always i can i saw it every day yeah um i'll tell you what i'm a big fan of right now is uh

Starting point is 00:38:05 i like these guys who are doing uh stay safe out there video All right, this is like my favorite lane that I fell into and I cannot get enough of it. Oh, let's do it. Hey, everybody, it's full. It's going to be getting darker earlier. And I think everybody should have access to a good flashlight at all times. Okay. Don't rely on your phone.

Starting point is 00:38:29 At all times. If you have to get your phone flashlight on, you're going to look down, hit the code, and then turn the flashlight on. Yeah. It's not a great flashlight. That's not great. You're distracted while turning it on. There could be a perp right behind you. Get a good flashlight.

Starting point is 00:38:41 Keep it readily available, okay? I like a shorefire. I'm going to throw up. It's so stupid. I have a tail cap activation. Who the fuck is? I need to open up a car door, open up a door, move my child, carry groceries. I still have one hand free.

Starting point is 00:38:58 Free to do other things, right? Okay, to access all the positions that I need. Like in my bio, I have a whole section on flashlights in the prepared university. You will, be safe. I told my crew I want Sean to start doing these videos because he's always buying like safety shit

Starting point is 00:39:18 it hurts my stomach he's expecting a woman to carry around at all times policeman's light and then this hand can do other things you know I keep this in my purse

Starting point is 00:39:31 always you cannot rely on a phone if you have a phone you have to look down you have to turn the phone on and that's an insane fucking waste of time so make sure you get a police level flashlight keep it on your waistband power could go out at any fucking second the worst part is

Starting point is 00:39:55 this inner voice is why I go to therapy like this is why I'm on Prozac because of fucking thoughts like this what happens if there's no light this guy is great This is feeding into everything that's wrong. Stop again. As I mentioned before, this is my neighborhood, so I pretty much have a good baseline, what everything looks like.

Starting point is 00:40:17 But always remember, any scenario you are in could shift. People are the most unpredictable variable in any scenario. Hell you. So I'm here, I see local people doing what they're normally doing. Okay. But at any second, a clown car could roll up. Any second of clowns looking to get out to do clown stuff. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:35 And I've got to be ready for that. Yep, you do. You got to be ready for anything anytime. 100% bro. Something else everybody should know when you put the pump in your gas station, you could drive away. It's not going to explode. Okay, they're designed to automatically shut off because your safety always comes first. So if I'm pumping gas and I see the environment shift and somebody might be coming towards me, I got to get out of here.

Starting point is 00:40:58 I'm not going to wait to see. No. Okay. Always have a plan. Where does he live? Be safe, everybody. Is he living in Bosnia? Why is he so fired up?

Starting point is 00:41:07 I know this neighborhood. But at any second, a clown could fucking enter. What neighborhood is again? Sheesh. He needs to move. Yeah, man. He feels this threatened in his own neighborhood. Sometimes you'll be putting gas in your car and you'll feel a threat.

Starting point is 00:41:21 Just take off and rip the fucking pump down. It doesn't matter. You just got to be on top of safety at all times. Pay the pump. Can you imagine how much it would cost to replace the pump at a gas station? It's $50,000. because you panicked. You're like, I got scared.

Starting point is 00:41:39 What do you want me to tell you? Wait, whatever you're saying about Sean, though? Tell me. Sean, who I love dearly and travels with me everywhere. He's got a little bit of stay prepared. So this guy's business or whatever is called prepared, not paranoid. So that's what I tell. It's like, Sean believes in that.

Starting point is 00:42:04 You know, he's always like, well, what if this happens? What if that happens? you know so he's like he's got um trauma shears on his waist he's got a crazy flashlight he's got all kinds of you can't just let's go through what he's got so number one is trauma shears these are the the shears that a paramedic or somebody in the fire department would have with them so that like if they needed to you know cut you out of a seat belt or your ring was like wedged onto something and like you're about to lose your finger uh yeah so he's got a pretty high level

Starting point is 00:42:37 type of trauma shear on him. And he gets this through security if you guys are flying commercially. Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, he explains, you know, what the fuck man? What if this whole thing,

Starting point is 00:42:49 what if you need somebody to get cut out of a strap? And they're like, okay, buddy, okay. So the trauma shears are on his waist belt. Okay, walking you through. He's got up to the one that that guy advised.

Starting point is 00:43:00 Yeah, he's got one of these. And it does like different patterns, like flash strobes. SOS. Yes. He does Morse code with it. he's got a leatherman, he's got knives. He always has, like, different types of knives on them.

Starting point is 00:43:11 Sure. Yeah. So I'm trying to get him to just, like, keep upgrading, you know. Keep escalated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be, like, 100% prepared for any situation, ever. Yeah. Well, he showed me, he showed me the ring that you guys bought together.

Starting point is 00:43:25 Oh, yeah, he's got, yeah, he's got all kinds of, he's got knuckle dusters. Yeah. He goes, you see this, Christina? I go, what is this? He goes, it's called a knuckle duster. Yeah. And I go, what is this? He goes, you know, and he's back.

Starting point is 00:43:36 the guys, gangs that couldn't carry weapons. And this is what they would fight. It's when they banned brass knuckles. That's when they banned those. And I could buy this ring and then I could, I could, you know, you could punch somebody and do some damage. And I looked at him like, real damage. Like this.

Starting point is 00:43:51 And he goes, what? I thought you'd like it. It's all punk rock. And I'm like, it is. It's very punk rock. I very much like it. Yeah. But you think you need the knuckle dusters on the Southwest Airlines flight right now?

Starting point is 00:44:01 Dude, you need shit at all times. You know what his favorite expression is? You stay ready. you don't have to get ready. That's no shit, though. And that's what this guy believes. That's what he's doing. He's right.

Starting point is 00:44:10 Always ready. As I go from the parking lot into the store, I'm transitioning into a new space. Holy shit. So in the parking lot, I've already cleared that it's safe. As I go into a new space, I have to do the same thing. I'm going to go in there. Take a few seconds. Is it safe?

Starting point is 00:44:24 Is it safe? Trader Joe's, man. In this Whole Foods you're going to go into. Yeah. So, all right. What's in there, man? You prep us. So as I go into the store, I take a second.

Starting point is 00:44:36 I look, I notice there's a fire alarm over there. I look and see if there's anything out of place, anything I should be paying attention to. Okay. People over here having coffee. Everything seems normal. Okay. Take a few more seconds. And I know about my day into the store.

Starting point is 00:44:52 Yeah. And go shopping. You know, you just described absolutely nothing. Literally, he was like, I went into the store, I looked, and it looked like people were in the store. And then I felt safe. Like, everybody already does that. you have to give us something more to do in the store. Well, exactly, Tom.

Starting point is 00:45:11 Like, I was hoping for something. That's right. Right. Where is the nearest bathroom? Maybe I'll have diarrhea. Is there a security officer in the... A security, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there a coin star?

Starting point is 00:45:23 And I would like to get some more racial profiling in here. Oh, he said it before. You didn't hear it? No. He used the word clowns. Oh, yeah. Oh, you know what he meant. You know what he meant.

Starting point is 00:45:34 He didn't mean. he meant he's like yeah you know clowns doing clown things you know clowning around black I mean clowning being clowns with their music

Starting point is 00:45:52 clown music talking all that clown talk where you're like what the fuck did you just say yeah well I got to say I'm a huge fan of this page I hope everybody continues to be prepared and not paranoid. Hypervigilance.

Starting point is 00:46:10 I'm really hoping that Sean builds a page like this soon. I've been literally working in therapy for 20 years trying to stop this exact shit in my head. Where the exits? Scan the room, left to right. A couple clowns over here. That's not good. Clowns. That is amazing.

Starting point is 00:46:30 And also, he's not going to a grocery store in a bad neighborhood. This appears to me to just be like a normal suburban. This is just like a... Like a Randall's. Yeah. Totally normal grocery store. There's no need. Or something. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:42 He's like, all right, I can shop now. I walked in. I assessed the... What? There it is. Hilarie bets. Oh, he's in Sedona, which is like the crackeriest, safest. There's 10 people living there at a place.

Starting point is 00:46:58 Oh, Duncan follows him too. Oh, he does. There you go. Founder. prepared, not paranoid. Important. Well, what's important? Let's click on important.

Starting point is 00:47:10 Okay. Important. My book. Like my book. Okay. That's good. Now he, by the way, he told us where he lives. Situational awareness.

Starting point is 00:47:18 Situational awareness is a terminology used called keep your head on a swivel. What does that even mean? What are we looking for? If we explore situational awareness, we'll come up on Cooper's color code, Yoda loop, and a few others. What I've done is I've taken all that information. Put it into one book for us. And I put it together in my new book.

Starting point is 00:47:36 Oh shit. Situational awareness and safe family travel strategies. Jesus. I put it together in a format that's easy to understand. You got to get this. And also easy for you to teach members of your family. So you might look at this and say, I got it. I'm always aware.

Starting point is 00:47:49 Yes, you might be. But is your child more aware? How do we implement these strategies to keep our entire family and our community safer? So I put this book together. I mean, he's literally in one of the safest places you could be. It's all. retirees. Yeah. And it's like, hey, do you want to see like

Starting point is 00:48:06 the fucking stars tonight right? And sound baths and shit? Yeah, it's like... This guy's walking into those crystal shops being like... Who's this guy? What's this clown doing? Yeah. It's literally white girls with dreadlocks and like Pichuli.

Starting point is 00:48:23 There's nothing happening in Sedona. Maybe that's why he's doing this. He's like he wants something to happen. Still juiced up. Yeah. He definitely moved there from somewhere. Somewhere awful. Oh, East Coast. could hear it in his voice. He moved from the northeast. My wife and I relocated to Sedona. You're talking and you look in the room. You see a couple clowns. You say, hey, fuck-o. Yeah. You could drive away from a gas pump. What is the bio site? What does it have on the site? I want to know, like, what is there?

Starting point is 00:48:52 He's a cop. Got it. Situational awareness. Do you think he's ex-cop? Could be. Or military. Self-defense off. Hell yeah. Less than lethal. Ah, fuck. Yeah. Flashlight. Yeah, I got to get. Big on the, the anatomy of a flashlight. That's insane. Yeah, that's a Sean special right there. Bezle, pocket clip, lanyard loop. Tail cap.

Starting point is 00:49:14 Yep. I like knowing the exact wording on that. Tail switch. You hit the tail cap on that? It's like, what are you talking about? The tail cap, Tom. The skill, the hot spot, the way that the light is dispersed. Lux.

Starting point is 00:49:30 Got it. Pepper spray. definitely need some of that you need that he's got to be fully fucking like I bet if you lifted up his t-shirt you'd see like 40 things hanging from that have you ever actually sprayed pepper spray in the room no it is so volatile if you if you spray pepper spray guess who else it fucks up you're because it's so volatile it's insane you can't like it's yeah you're just gonna guess the whole situation this is my favorite channel of the year by the way no this is stun gun

Starting point is 00:50:03 well what are my options hold on you're passing by stun gun options saber self-defense kit with pepper spray and stun gun that's what I'm getting Sean for Christmas

Starting point is 00:50:13 will you please flag some good ones for me I want to get them something state of the art we need a stun gun you gotta walk around oh my god is this legal

Starting point is 00:50:28 in Texas to stun something selling it on Amazon I don't know. I'm like, yeah. Oh, my God. It's such a bad idea. It's great.

Starting point is 00:50:39 Is there another one that's like, holy shit level here? Look, what are that? You know what? I just had a vision of, me taking my stun gun out and then it's just stunting me down. Just be like, hold on a second. I got a, it's not on yet. Yeah. Oh, you had tear gas around.

Starting point is 00:50:59 I got to get my tear gas gun. Please get it Can we make a video of him Trying out all your new toys I've got to know I want him to be fully fucking strapped With like a pellet gun And a stun gun

Starting point is 00:51:17 And a knife Everyone's like what the fuck He's just ready dude He's prepared You should put him through the course The cops got to take Where they get like desensitized To your gas

Starting point is 00:51:28 He would fucking love Love it to go to that. I wouldn't even be surprised if you already did it. You might be right. Did you go tear gas? Oh, that doesn't do anything to me.

Starting point is 00:51:36 Kinetic balls, solid, non-lethal projectiles. I could get him something like that. Kinetic balls. Tier gas. I don't even know you could buy tear gas. Oh my God, I would love to have him fully strapped. You have to buy him a belt too, no? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:52 Put all this shit too? Well, I mean, he's got a belt, but maybe like a specialty belt. Or something across his chest? Like Commando? Holy shit. Deep shit. He would embrace all this stuff. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:10 Fucking awesome. Okay. I do feel like you could have used all this in Albuquerque when you were filming there this past summer. Yeah, ABQ has some clowns. You definitely need that. That's it. Oh, there it is. Definitely getting him that.

Starting point is 00:52:29 Please flag that for me. It's called. a tactical belt. Yeah. That's what you need. Dude, that's fucking badass. Bo, bo. Is that a body cam?

Starting point is 00:52:38 Oh, shit. What's that in the front there? That looks like it's got a screen or something, right? I think it's Velcro. Dude, that is 100% Sean's belt. I'm so stoked for this. Duty belts, law enforcement, combat, airsoft police belt with pouches. Seven pieces.

Starting point is 00:52:59 Ooh. You know what he'll probably like is. the tactical vest Yeah, he would love the vest Especially if you can like weight it Give me the belt and the vest Please Maybe night vision goggles

Starting point is 00:53:09 Does he have night vision? He's not safe at night That's so true Oh, tactical vest Dude he would love that That's fucking rad Yeah Things are heavy

Starting point is 00:53:21 Dude yeah we gotta suit him up He's got to get ready P.S the funny thing is gonna be When you ask him And he's gonna be like Yeah I got like three of those You already have that Why did you get me shit I already have?

Starting point is 00:53:35 Panoramic night vision goggle. Holy shit. Oh, my God, it's $50,000. $50,000. Fuck. What? Well worth it, though. Well worth it.

Starting point is 00:53:47 Great investment. I bet Larry would approve. He'd be like, 100% you need that. You go outside. Stand the neighborhood. In Sedona. Anybody out here? How the fuck, man?

Starting point is 00:54:01 And how is it like that? I don't know, dude. What is 50 grand? This is why military contracts are worth like $40 billion. It's overpriced. They're like, yeah, it's 50 grand to pop. There's nothing that's worth $50,000. Those are binoculars for your head.

Starting point is 00:54:19 Please explain. Only one left. Helmet mount. Can we go back to like the search for those to see if there's like, like what are the other ones? Like they have to have more reasonable. prices man what's neat is that you look cool too those are those are 900 yeah that's it's still a shitload of oh single single ops 300 bones just for one but he needs he needs both no no i definitely would get them the two fuck yeah eyes on

Starting point is 00:54:49 what are you doing i'm fucking scope in the neighborhood right now i'm moving left to right yeah looks like a fucking owl well i'm excited I didn't. Please flag some of these for me. I need to, I need to get him. Christmas. Yeah. So the, what's it called, the junior fedsmoker guy? I think he's still doing stuff, right? Oh, thank God. What's up?

Starting point is 00:55:19 What are you filming us? I'm filming him. Why? What's not filming my boyfriend. Why are you filming for, dude? Are you famous? Are you famous? He's not famous. You are famous.

Starting point is 00:55:34 You are famous. Have a good day, famous guy. He just has the heart and soul of Herc. It's so clear. It's really cool. It really makes you realize we're all connected. And I do love that there's two people just having a good time by themselves.

Starting point is 00:55:54 She's like, stop filming my boyfriend. Yeah. And he's being disruptive to that. That was really cool. We're over here at the Sigma Chi. Plants neighborhood over here. Back to Sigma Chi. Forest Park, I think mountains and Portland, Oregon.

Starting point is 00:56:10 Oregon. I thought I'd bring awareness to the community about this person who does dirty work for Sigma Chi fraternities. Dirty work. Oh, dear. He's all gang at them. What the fuck, dude. Yeah. You know what's really critical?

Starting point is 00:56:31 crazy is like, Herc also had this fearlessness about him. Yeah. Fearless. Fearless. These are... He didn't follow a proto, buddy.

Starting point is 00:56:40 You're done. Yeah. These are men that he's taunting. Oh, I know. Strong. That guy, by the way, the guy that he said, you're famous?

Starting point is 00:56:48 That looked like a, like a pretty solid dude. That was not a little guy. No. He is barking up some scary trees. Yeah. That can...

Starting point is 00:56:57 That could... I bet could have really... wreck this guy but oh yeah the cop what is your name a cell number what is your name and serial number what is your name and sale number um sheriff sheriff or no sheriff promister why is he refused and i'd he himself to be sheriff promister yeah so why can't you cite and release people instead of having to take them to orient road and that's funny he's in florida now he was just in oregon oh shit And that's Hillsborough County.

Starting point is 00:57:31 Yeah, that's like the Tampa area, I think. That's, you know what? That makes sense, though. That's the beacon for mental illness. Just the state of Florida? Well, all of Florida. But Tampa, Orlando, Miami. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:46 So why can't you cite and release people for misdemeanors instead of having to take them to Orient Road jail? Yeah, when you arrest somebody for a misdemeanor, you should just cite and release them. Why do you have to take them to waste gas and this gas goes like that? unit to take them to the Orient Road jail. It's not like L.A. where if you do a misdemeanor, they cite and release you or take you to the station and process you. So what's really, I'm fascinated by now, is the fact that he's this transient, that like, you know, sometimes there's just fixed location guys. He is literally, like, we've seen multiple stuff from him up in Washington. Then he was in Oregon. I don't remember where else we've seen him,

Starting point is 00:58:24 but he's definitely, oh, he's been in L.A. That's right. He references L.A. But this is definitely, I mean, he's in the Tampa area. Well, let's, what time a year is this film? Is it coinciding with holidays? Is he visiting his family in Florida? Is he in school during the other times? We're all just fucking, it's crazy. What always baffles me is these people have money to travel.

Starting point is 00:58:47 Yeah. Like, how the fuck do you have money to travel? I know. Like, how do they do it? How about this? What do you see here that reminds you of Herc? What are you going to do? you fucking security guard, bitch.

Starting point is 00:58:59 Take a picture. Old ass motherfucker. You're a fucking security guard. Are you a certified peace officer in the state of California, bitch? You're just going to do shit like that? You have no authority. You have no authority.

Starting point is 00:59:09 So you're just going to be ignorant like that. Jay walking is not illegal in California. Says who? Jaywalking is illegal in California state legislator. The California state legislator is you fucking old bitch. Oh, wow. He said L.A. Is that L.A.X?

Starting point is 00:59:25 Yeah. That's L.A.X. He's at the airport. airport and then he's harassing a security guard. We've seen that before. What's your name? Public servant? What's your name?

Starting point is 00:59:35 Public servant? We're going to talk to the supervisor. Go ahead. Supervisor. Are you done? Are you done? Give you orders. You're a security, but you have no fucking authority.

Starting point is 00:59:43 Are you done? Yeah. Are you done? Touch my phone. Are you done? You don't touch your phone. Touch my phone. You're a security guard.

Starting point is 00:59:51 You have no authority. Are you leaving or not? You have no authority. Are you leaving or not? Cut you. Touching my camera through the The similarities are striking. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:03 We got to do DNA test on this kid. We got to get Herc's DNA. It costs your job, imagine. This is, this is unbelievable. Take it easy, fuck it. This is the same person. It's the same behavior. It's the exact same behavior.

Starting point is 01:00:18 What are the chances? There's a guy who's just doing his job as a security guard, and then he's like, the fuck are you? What the fuck are you doing here? fuckhead you're fired buddy at the arrow fired bud and also why is nobody arresting him at this point like if you mess with tsa or whatever like can't they arrest you i think uh california is probably the most like least likely to spend the resources in arresting someone right now yeah yeah now them hillsborough county sheriffs have time i'll tell you that that's right

Starting point is 01:00:53 in florida they have time of course they always are like huh what yeah well just if can lock them up. I mean, the more, like, the bluer places are going to be like, well, you know, he needs help and maybe they take them to a hospital. But down south, they don't really operate like that. That's true, because we didn't see Herc coming through Texas a whole lot. You didn't see Herc doing this shit in the red states, yeah. Interesting.

Starting point is 01:01:17 Yeah, white chariots, man, you know. White chariots. Before I forget, I wanted to give a big shout out to the MGM. the hookup, the way they treated us. I had a show in Vegas a couple weeks ago and it was at the Park MGM. It was really fun. Thank you for for all that. But also they set us up at F1, which was really, really fun. And I have to give a huge, huge thanks to the great legendary chef, Jose Andres for absolutely spoiling the shit out of me and my crew. I think there is no greater joy than getting to time with chefs. The chefs that I've been fortunate enough to meet all over the world are always

Starting point is 01:02:04 like the greatest. They're just the best, man. They're amazing talents. They're amazing people. This guy is not just an amazing chef. He's an amazing humanitarian and human being. If you don't know his work with World Central Kitchen, it's an incredible organization that just feeds people all over the world regardless of their political situations or affiliations. They just go to wherever there's disasters. That could be hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, war zones, floods. Wherever there's a disaster and people need to get fed, World Central Kitchen goes and they sets up and they feed people. And it's led by this man, Jose Andres, who's a world famous, very accomplished chef. He is, you know, one of the elite chefs, right? The guy who just like

Starting point is 01:02:48 has these incredibly innovative ideas. And they, if you've ever been to like the bizarre or bizarre meats and he's got what is this this place something Poblano in in Vegas and he's got Haleo and he's got he's got a he's got a dozen or more restaurants and they're all over the world so I mean yeah we could we could see what they are here this is the I guess U.S. locations I mean look there's yeah China Poblano Bar Centro Bazaar Mar Bizarre meat eh Halleo something tells me This guy is Latin. He's from Spain.

Starting point is 01:03:27 So he is a Spanish man. Anyway, he treated us like we were visiting heads of state and gave us an absolute, I mean, like a feast that I can't describe. And I'm there with John Feliciano. There's Kirk. There's Kirk. And we were just hanging out. And he was just absolutely spoiling the shit out of us. And it was just, it was such an amazing experience.

Starting point is 01:03:53 I just had to acknowledge that this dude is just. He's exactly what you want out of a chef. Like, he's passionate, he's excited, and he's super talented. So it's all these things that you're like, you know, like, what is this? And he's just rattling off how he had an idea and came up with this. And then every bite, you're like this unfucking believable. That's cool. So it was very cool.

Starting point is 01:04:14 Yeah, it's an incredible organization. I think that's really nice that he does. World Central Kitchen. If you want to see what they do, you know, you can Google it. but they really do amazing work. I mean it. That's so cool. We've donated over the last few years a number of times because they do such great work.

Starting point is 01:04:33 Okay. Yeah. Okay. Well, I wanted to address our cat obesity problem in the Seguura homestead. And frankly, I'm a little fucking disappointed in the millennials in the Gen Zs, the Gen Alphas, we have working here. so we talk we have automatic cat feeders okay we have an adult cat a kitten the adult cat is eating the kitten's portions and the adult cat is fat that's the problem munchkins overweight by two pounds okay yeah so here I am on the show and I'm we're talking about it oh the cat

Starting point is 01:05:09 feeders you have to pull them apart we have to feed them separately blah blah blah we're all talking about these scenarios meanwhile Connor swindles friend of the show he's star of the movie Jingle Bell Haste on Netflix right now. He listens to the show and he thanks me for the shoutout and he goes, I'm mate, you know what you can also do. Oh, it's hot, mate. You can buy feeders that are calibrated to a specific cat, meaning one of them wears one collar,

Starting point is 01:05:39 activates this feeder, the other collar activates the other one and they can't cross the streams. You see what I'm saying? Does he have, he has the cats? He's got multiple cats. And so he goes, mate, it's really. real fucking simple. You just get the have you then, have you ordered this already? Of course $100 fucking later.

Starting point is 01:05:56 Yeah. And now we don't have a cat obesity problem. And why the fuck didn't these millennials, these are cat owners here? They are? And it took somebody across the pond listening to the show to tell me. Wait, how does it stop them from eating the other one's food? So they wear collars that have like sensors. Okay. So if the correct cat goes up to the correct feeder sensor, it dispenses food.

Starting point is 01:06:20 minute it says the wrong cat, it stops working. But doesn't it usually dispense multiples at a, like a feeding amount at a time? I don't know. The point of the story is it shuts it down. It covers it or something. No, the point of the story is they failed you. I haven't done it yet. They fail me.

Starting point is 01:06:37 I have to, I didn't want to set up on for our trip because what if it malfunctioned and there's no one there to feed the cat? The point of the fucking story is, Josh, you have fucking cats. Multiple, am I right? Yeah. And you didn't know this shit. You should have known this. I didn't know it. I got to try it.

Starting point is 01:06:51 I mean, let us know if it works. I don't think I was here. Of course it works. Connor does it. That's how he keeps his animals from being obese. The thing is we need, we need Josh and some of the other people here to flog themselves, I think, a little more. Thank you, Tom. That's exactly what I want some repentance.

Starting point is 01:07:09 I'm a failure. I'm stupid. I don't know things, things like that. That's right. I'm young. I should know everything. I should know things more. Yeah, I'm old.

Starting point is 01:07:17 How do I not know that? I'm a fucking moron. Exactly. They're supposed to be up on all the technology, the AIs, the things. I let you down, I let myself down, things like that. I like this. Speaking of, let's talk to this clown any real quick. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, we keep escalated.

Starting point is 01:07:38 All the fucking week, we get closer and closely. So, a few weeks ago, I was explaining how. The only thing that I'm really concerned with, and I really feel like I'm trying to encourage people in this regard, do whatever you want, obviously, is when it comes to like your weight and your body, isn't the number on the scale. It's your body composition. That's what matters. There's some people that are, I'm talking about men that are like 225 and they're fucking, they look perfect, right? But that's that guy. Somebody else, it might be 170. Like the scale doesn't matter. It's your composition. Like your lean versus your body fat, right? Like, what's that? And it's, look, there's a whole huge range in which is healthy, and there's a range within, if you want to be, like, I don't know, elite or whatever, but it's knowing that that I think is important. So I was encouraging, I was saying that I had done this, and that that's what I'm really trying to focus on, is just the composition, not the scale number. And in doing so, I was like, you know, I've gotten more dialed in on,

Starting point is 01:08:45 like what certain body fat percentages mean for like the male physique right so you start to learn like this is obese this is like uh you know moderately healthier this is like you know some extra weight this is starting to get into like um pretty lean and this is like super lean like you're learning what those are so in doing that i was like oh i wonder because we've obviously we've worked with any for a long time he's a super lean guy you know he's like he's a guy that is like yep he doesn't carry a lot he's like a squirrel or a greyhound and he's and he's uh he's been always been very lean uh never really been like a hardcore gym guy but he's a very he's a strong guy and he can eat he's one of those body types i feel like you can eat whatever and doesn't have to think about it so i was

Starting point is 01:09:34 like well i encouraged him i was like i'm just so curious what's your you know like composition like and he went to get a scan, a Dexas scan, to get like the numbers. And what are the results of that any? According to the Dexas scan, your boy fat as fuck. Apparently I am 22% body fat. That's wild. To me. Which is why today's cap report is body fat.

Starting point is 01:10:04 It's body fat. Got it. Body fat percentage. It doesn't fucking exist. I can run faster, jump higher, punch harder. this had you because you sent it to me you had 21.6 which is that is that unhealthy in the range for men no it's not unhealthy it's um it was a bit surprising just like looking at any but then again like somebody who's like pretty lean like him you can be like very dialed in on that you know and there's also there's a spectrum to how lean a lean person is um oh wow wow Wow. So 20 is that far right one.

Starting point is 01:10:44 That's what it's saying that Eni's category is. Which I think... Definitely not what I look like. It's not... Do you think... What do you think you look like you look like your belly today? And it didn't look... Like, you don't look like obviously like 30 down there.

Starting point is 01:10:59 But I don't think at your current state you look like 15. I think you've been at what that 15 looks like, but I don't think you're currently there right now. Am I wrong? I think I don't only because... of the, like, extra muscle. I'm not built, but in terms of, like, the abs, like, my abs look like that. They don't look like...

Starting point is 01:11:17 They look like 15? Yeah. Like, in 20... I mean, that's definitely, again, it's more like, you know, what's the word? I don't know. More, more fucking prevalent, I don't know how to say, but... But don't you feel like, like, this, my... From what I saw, like, you were sitting in a chair and you just lifted up your shirt.

Starting point is 01:11:33 I didn't see definition. I just saw it, like, kind of, like, undefined, but not, like, like, you know, again not heavy it to me looked like oh if he spent you know six weeks like caring about it your body would change dramatically that you were just kind of like going through the like you know like you're not particularly working on this right now and that you are yeah you never are right like you just kind of like yeah i haven't been to the gym i mean i went i went to the gym every day for that basketball thing and before that i want to say the last time i went to the gym was like, I don't know, 10 years ago.

Starting point is 01:12:12 Like, I don't go to the gym ever. And then food-wise, you never really care, right? Nothing but garbage, yeah. So, do you think that the thing is wrong, or do you just think that, like, who cares? I think that it's kept. I think it's all a mindset. Wait, wait, wait. I'm talking about the data.

Starting point is 01:12:29 Like, do you think it is an inaccurate? It's data, baby. Or do you think that it's like, yeah, I mean, do you think it's not accurate what it said? I mean, I don't know. I guess I don't, I don't have anything to, like, compare it to. I just trust it, I guess. I mean, I don't really, it doesn't. I think it would be an interesting experiment for you.

Starting point is 01:12:50 Because the great thing is when you have, like, a baseline is if, like, if you have that report that you now have that you shared with me, and you take, like, a completely, like, you, for yourself, take a photo when you get home in the bathroom where, like, in, in, in, in. like your boxers where you just see yourself unflexing just like chilling this is getting weird it's not weird it's for you i'm not saying to share them i'm saying it's for you so you take photo of yourself where you see your physique you see exactly where you are and then you have your you have your data from last week and then if you were to go like okay there's you know essentially four weeks left in the year so you give yourself like eight 12 weeks and in those eight to 12 weeks you just you don't have to go extreme, but I'm saying you dial in a few things, meaning you try to just adapt to a little healthier diet and just like a few days a week of training. I bet you if you gave yourself 12

Starting point is 01:13:54 weeks and you had a Dexas scan again, and you tried to address some of those things, you would go, oh yeah, I see how dramatic this can be with just a little bit. Because you have the body type where I think a little bit of dialing that in could he get like extreme results? No, you're 100%. I mean, yeah, it's really, it's always just been a matter of time. I would definitely need to get a personal trainer

Starting point is 01:14:19 because I just don't, and a dietitian probably, because the thing about getting healthy that's always stopped me is I don't know what the fuck to do. Yeah, that's most, but I think you're right. I don't know how to eat right. I don't know the right calories and protein and that da-da-da-da-da.

Starting point is 01:14:33 That's most people, We don't get taught that, which is, like, the two things that I always feel like the strain just as you get older is when you realize we don't teach really how to be healthy. A human. Like in schools, and we don't teach really people unless they pursue it finance. Exactly. We just go, like, get out there. Fucking put it on a credit card.

Starting point is 01:14:52 And that's what we just go. Money and health. Yeah. There should be classes devoted to this. You have to seek it out. We don't go like we're going to teach you that. Because any, your body naturally. Could you imagine

Starting point is 01:15:05 If you were like really into it And he's still young enough You're not even what are you You're not even 40 He's not even close What are you 28? 29 He's lying

Starting point is 01:15:17 Are you 30 something But you're still young You could Cap Wow Did you imagine this guy? Enough of this clowning around You got a

Starting point is 01:15:27 This is crazy Crazy You know what I used What I used to love. What? Not okay. I'm going to send this to Black Twitter. What are you talking about?

Starting point is 01:15:42 Sending it straight to them. For what? You're going to get another round of this shit. I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. Let me tell you. I walked in today. I go, who's this clown?

Starting point is 01:15:52 And then I just want to be unbelievable to double down. Black Twitter will hear. Okay. So, wait, so you, are you interested in? that at all or not really though the pursuit of the like you don't when I you're a normal healthy guy but I mean moderately healthy let's be honest he's not like my my habits are probably the least healthy of any person in the world and your body is not matching your habits absolutely like your body is still like hey we're pretty good somehow yeah I really haven't lost much of anything in like

Starting point is 01:16:32 do you want to change that or are you just like i don't really fucking care i mean like i think once there there will be a day there'll be a day and and i will go hard and it will be like a thing i'll only focus on but again it's like the because i can't do the thing where you're saying where you're like oh don't go all the way in don't be super extreme about it right just do like a little bit because that's not how you do it it's not just that i don't it's that i'm not gonna i'm not gonna care then and then i'm just going to be like well why do i even need to do this that's a good point i'll just quit that's a good point so if i did it at i I would go super hard, but again, it's like, I know I'm going to need a

Starting point is 01:17:04 dietitian or fucking, you know. Dude, he smokes cigarettes, right? You smoke OG Sigs. Remember when we used to order in and out at the old studio in Recita? Oh, and he would, like, go ham on, like, five burgers or whatever? Bro. How many burgers could you eat at once? I used to have at least four. But it also, I would be like, when did you last eat?

Starting point is 01:17:26 And you'd be like last yesterday at one. And then it's today at four, you're like, I'm just going to go home and get another pizza and then I'll be good for another day. Yeah, they came up with a term for it, I guess, later in life. But I grew up doing that my whole life, but I guess I just intermittent fast. Oh, yeah, you were.

Starting point is 01:17:44 You were? Starvation. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. So you weren't ever like a breakfast, lunch dinner. You were just like, I'll eat when I'm hungry. Yeah, I like can't eat in the morning. Food sounds disgusting for like at least four hours after I wake up. I wish I had that.

Starting point is 01:17:59 I could eat. You and I are totally opposite with breakfast Tom wakes up, his eyes open He wants to eat immediately Me, I'm like, ugh Just like I don't want to fucking eat I just want to jack my stomach Full of dark brown coffee

Starting point is 01:18:11 And like take Prozac on an empty stomach And then rip that coffee Take a shit And then wait until I'm starving And then I'll give myself food It's normal Everybody's got habits It's pretty much like

Starting point is 01:18:24 Around like 1159 PM That's like right around Where the hunger starts kick in which I heard is a really good time to eat That's when they tell you to eat They go eat And they say Eat and lay down

Starting point is 01:18:37 That's what I do That's the secret All right Well we'll discuss whether or not You want to go all in You would look so amazing You would If you put

Starting point is 01:18:46 Of all our bodies on the staff Yeah Yours is the closest To being ready to go You could just rip Dude Yeah All right

Starting point is 01:18:54 We have to wrap this up Yeah Let's do it Thank you guys for watching thank you for listening and you know just make sure you scan your surroundings whenever you're anywhere go get that flashlight you walk into a store you go don't forget you can if you're a pumping gas you can just take off with the gas pump in and get a flashlight and we'll be back with more ways to

Starting point is 01:19:19 prepare yourself to stay safe out there keep your family safe we'll see you next week I'm gonna love me, all in the darkness Time travel each other. A hundred miles an hour down the highway of death The man of the world is sucking that man Spitting out teeth is gone on fire Dirty Tom baby rape will blood on my tires That's poker

Starting point is 01:19:56 This turn on I ride You can never die. You don't tell me that's a little out here, my dear brother. Yeah, double-aged and I'm a machine. All of us love drinking gasoline. Digging off the jeans, they never sleep, always hate, double the leads get the step of the face. That's what I can't

Starting point is 01:20:26 That's the way to do it This turn all I ride Fucking face That's what I can never die That's the way you do it I can car rush

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Hard For Hot Dads | Your Mom's House Ep. 838

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