Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Hellraiser Or Hilarious w/ Doug Bradley (Pinhead) | Your Mom's House Ep. 824

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

Let us know what your favorite Your Mom’s House moment is by submitting a video recording to yourmomspodcast@gmail.com Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPO...NSORS: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/YMH and use code YMH! #viiaparter We have such sights to show you! This week, Christina P sits down with horror icon Doug Bradley, the legendary actor behind Hellraiser’s Pinhead, for a conversation that’s equal parts creepy, funny, and surprisingly tender. Doug dives into the origins of Pinhead’s terrifying look, the philosophy behind horror villains, and what it’s like when strangers recognize him as the guy who tormented their nightmares.Christina presses Doug on whether BDSM aesthetics became mainstream thanks to Cenobites, and if he’s ever had to explain his career choices at awkward family dinners. Doug also shares behind-the-scenes stories of low-budget chaos, midnight makeup chair marathons, and how becoming a horror icon changed his life in ways he never saw coming. With frequent detours into absurdity Doug also proves he’s not just a master of horror—he’s got comedy chops too. This episode is a once-in-a-lifetime crossover of YMH filth and horror royalty...missing it would be a waste of good suffering. Your Mom’s House Ep. 824 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:11 - Let The Conversation Begin 00:04:08 - Opening Clip: Anybody Want These Sandals? 00:05:43 - Clip: Mr. Big Praises Christina 00:07:15 - Photos Of Pinhead 00:14:17 - Pinhead Takes The MTV Movie Awards 00:20:35 - Basic Questions 00:23:19 - Clive Barker 00:31:27 - Behind The Mask 00:38:06 - Hellraiser 00:46:20 - The Origins Of The Cenobites' Names 00:55:41 - Hellbound & Horny 01:03:41 - Master Of Accents 01:14:02 - Arsenal Fans & Doug Bradley's YouTube Page 01:21:14 - Mommy's New Boobs 01:27:08 - Closing Song - "Feel The Pain" by Mark Price Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Mommies, the main mommy needs your help. That's right. I need you to tell me what your favorite moment is ever from your mom's house podcast. That's right. Make a video, a short video, a concise video of you telling me what your favorite moment is of YMH. And we may feature you on the podcast. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.
Starting point is 00:00:30 TD Bank knows that running a small business is a journey, from startup to growing and managing your business. That's why they have a dedicated small business advice hub on their website to provide tips and insights on business banking to entrepreneurs. No matter the stage of business you're in, visit TD.com slash small business advice to find out more or to match with a TD small business banking account manager. Hi, mommies, hi jeans.
Starting point is 00:00:58 It's me the main mommy. Tommy Salami is still filming in Jumexico. He's filming a movie. So I have a co-host with me today that I am so stoked. You guys don't even know what you're in for. Please welcome Doug Bradley today as my co-host. Yeah! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:01:18 Hello, hello, hello. Hi. It's a great pleasure to be here. I love you. I am so thrilled that you and your wife came to Austin just to do this. I really appreciate you. Well, thank you for inviting us. And, you know, it's a pleasure to be here.
Starting point is 00:01:33 And as a very wise man once said, oh, let the conversation begin. Yes. Yes. I bet you didn't know. Pinhead is a mommy. You do now. Let the conversation begin.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Who do you think's creepier, Pinhead or Garthbert? Who's killed more people? Well, Penna, well, other than wiping out an entire nightclub full of people in Hellraiser 3, his known kill count on screen isn't that high, really. We'll talk about that. Yeah. I agree.
Starting point is 00:02:23 There's a, well, I have so much to get into. I don't know. I mean, with Garth, for me, it was back in the dead. because I get asked quite often at Q&A's, you know, and interviews and fans generally about what music I like and what I listen to. And I always say it's easier to define myself by what I don't like and what I don't listen to.
Starting point is 00:02:46 And in trying to make a distinction between being a huge country music fan, but it was at the time that the new corporate, Nashville sound was emerging and I called it Big Hat Country and Garth was the poster boy of Big Hat Country for me so I used to say you know like Garth Brooks no wow um and I mean I don't I don't what's um friends in low places that's him right yeah I've got friends But I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't hum it to you, and I couldn't name really any other Garth Brooks songs. And then I'm not sure of the, I'm not sure of the chronology as to, as to when I got shown the Facebook clip, which was so weird in so many ways, not least because he gave the impression that someone had just introduced him to the idea of, Facebook and he'd never heard of it before can we do we have it can we just and then and then I'll
Starting point is 00:04:03 do the opening clip I know what you're saying this phony this this this faked surprise oh what Facebook what a great idea why didn't nobody think of this let's watch it again just for old time sake so creepy I guess it's official I guess it's official I'm now on Facebook I really wasn't sure about this at the start and a friend of mine said something they just made all kinds of sense she said think of it more as a conversation I like that I like that I like that
Starting point is 00:04:29 I like that I like that well that's that's amazing here this is a great segue I really like that yeah let's get into the opening clip because I really like that too
Starting point is 00:04:41 let the conversation anybody want these old sandals you can have them if you want them I don't want them no more I plan on to give me some more sandals oh and also they talk about
Starting point is 00:04:56 I'm going to borrow a brist drink too. Oh, well, I'm sold. Nice long intro Oh, oh, hold on. Now, I'm disrobing. Please, please. Show us your shirt. It's so beautiful.
Starting point is 00:05:57 You must. I only wore the over shirt for the purposes of the reveal. It was such a good reveal, by the way. I had no idea. You wore a denim shirt, too, to really pay homage. Now, as you know, Doug, you're a huge fan of sex in the city, I'm assuming. Oh, sure. You're clearly a Miranda.
Starting point is 00:06:18 But anyway, apparently, you know the guy that plays Mr. Big? No. Okay. He's so hot. I see you're gonna like him well he's like super into me yeah here here it is he found out that like i guess tom isn't here he's super cute okay ready he sent me this video it's so weird okay christina you have a podcast it's called your mom's house uh you're doing it well without your husband tom she's killing it with her goth style goth music the cure always a great one she's sexy loves goth music
Starting point is 00:06:54 so let's keep Tom away from it for a while and see what happens. You're going to be doing fine without them. Cheers. Wow. What do you think? Well, nice, I suppose. I don't know, really. I'm very neutral on the subject of Mr. Big and indeed sex in the city in general. I never watched it. Can I? Oh, well, you're missing out. I watch it compulsively. I don't think I am.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Can I just point out this is really interesting. This is very interesting in a celebrity's home when there's a picture of the celebrity hanging in their home? Positioned. Very unique choice, hot choices. Do you have many photographs of yourself in your home? I don't have photographs of me. There are lots of images of Pennhead around.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Let's look at him for him. I have a sort of, there's steps going down towards the utility room and basement. I love this photograph. And I keep a lot of stuff on the walls and stuff that fans give me. I call that a museum. So this is bloodline, Hellraiser 4. So it's 1994.
Starting point is 00:08:17 It's late night. That is only water. We're filming. had a leotard underneath the jacket so i just you know just dropped it down off the shoulders oh that's what that is for a little de colate moment deers i was going to say it's the cenobites it's very big yes so you had a suit you had a leotard under yes the leather heavy what is it like an s and m kind of outfit which by the way i have to say like let me just fan your skirt up for a moment because, you know, I've been a huge fan of Hellraiser and Clive Barker,
Starting point is 00:08:57 Books of Blood, all that stuff since I was a teenager. And I feel like, you know, anybody can kill people, right? Like Freddie Kruger. Yes. And Jason, I'm sure you're friends with all these guys. I know them, yes. Yeah, you guys hang out and stuff. Well, at conventions, I can say we sort of hang out.
Starting point is 00:09:16 I made a movie with Robert. Oh, Robert England. Yes. Yeah, how is he? Robert's wonderful. I've known, Robert, for a very long time. We've made a movie together in the mid-90s called Kill a Tung. Bring that up, please.
Starting point is 00:09:34 La Lingua Athacina. It's, there we are. We shot it in Spain. It's awesome. It's one crazy movie. But it's a lot of fun. I was playing a convict. And the reason, and it's Mindy Clark, Zinnis as well,
Starting point is 00:09:58 that's Mindy looking very, very sexy in her outfit with her killer tongue retracted in her mouth. So Robert was playing the chief screw and I was a... Oh, I see him. I was a convict on a chain gang. Oh. And Mindy and her boyfriend had carried out a bank heist and Mindy was pretending to be. be a nun and she was hiding out in the convent, very heavily pregnant, with her collection of large poodles. And then there's a point in the movie which an asteroid appears and it hits
Starting point is 00:10:38 Earth's atmosphere and it breaks into lots of pieces. She's sitting around a table eating soup with her poodles who are all perched on chairs around the table and fragments of the asteroid fly in through windows and land in the soup and the magical properties of the asteroid turn all the poodles into drag queens It sounds like the best movie ever This is amazing When we started this podcast
Starting point is 00:11:07 It felt like we had to do like everything ourselves Production, branding, marketing It was a lot and I wish we had Shopify back then We used Shopify to power our merch store It made it super easy to launch and manage everything from designing the site to handling drops like the Air Segura shirt, which we all now flew off the shelves. We can track orders, restock, and stay on top of it all without needing a full team. Shopify powers millions of businesses and handles 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S.
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Starting point is 00:12:47 Their product finder quiz will match you up in under a minute. If you're 21 plus, check out the link to Viya in our description and use code YMH to receive 50% off free shipping on orders over $100. And if you're new to Viya, get a free gift of your choice. After you purchase, they ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Enhance your every day with Viya. So we're in a kind of Priscilla in the desert kind of thing. now. And that's only like the first 10 minutes of it.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Oh, it sounds, I got to watch this when I get home. I'm going to have surgery tomorrow. It's completely, time. Completely insane. Completely insane. And there you are. Talking of completely insane. Yeah. What, so, but, but my point being is that I love Robert England. I love Friday the 13th, Jason. Let's talk about your other Slayers, Night of the Living Dead. What's the one the chainsaw, Texas chainsaw?
Starting point is 00:13:47 all these guys are scary as shit right like you don't want to meet any of these rows now what i love about pinhead and hellraiser is that you brought a humanity to this you know this really scary character which is kind of cool because we got to see that at one point pinhead was just a person and there's it's all these great themes about desire and greed and love and lust and these wonderful human themes. And I find that to be so relatable. Anyway, I mean, it's a testament to you bringing some kind of human element to this, because this is fucking terrifying. There you are with Ringo Star. Jesus Christ. That's, you keep asking me questions and then putting images up. I know, I know. But so that's, I was doing publicity.
Starting point is 00:14:47 for the release of Hellraiser 3. So this, I think, is 1992, maybe 92 or 93. And Merrimack's in their infinite wisdom had decided it would be a very cool idea for me to do lots of publicity stuff in makeup and costume, which I didn't think was such a great idea, but they agreed to pay me to do them,
Starting point is 00:15:12 at which point it seemed like a better idea. Of course. So this is the MTV video awards when they used to film with David Spade the filmed inserts of celebrities who couldn't get in because they weren't on the list and they'd pre-film those and then screen them during the award ceremony and that year it was Roseanne Andrew Dice Clay Ringo and Pinhead who couldn't get in because their names weren't on the list
Starting point is 00:15:53 and I'd had my makeup and costume applied in my hotel room which was a trip too because on the way down from the hotel room to the lobby we're in the elevator going down and it stopped and the doors opened and here's a businessman with you know with his suit and his briefcase
Starting point is 00:16:17 and he stared at me and I stared back at him and then he just went okay and took a step back and the elevator doors closed and down we went so I arrived in the limo
Starting point is 00:16:35 you know it's quite an exciting thing to be doing and get out the PR girl comes over and says you know I was so delighted to have you here today. It was at UCLA. We're just going to bring you into the entrance to the auditorium.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Eric Clapton and Elton John are rehearsing at the moment. Oh, and Ringo's here. So, you know, I was seven, I think, when the world stopped turning for me for a moment when I first heard Love Me Do on the radio in 1962. and huge Beatles fan for all of my life from that moment forward. So my legs have gone to jelly a bit and came around the corner into the entrance to the arena and Ringo with this extraordinary turban thing going on has got his back to me. And he's talking to a couple of guys who see me.
Starting point is 00:17:42 and then they start, you know, to Ringo. And he turned around and it's, it's one of the proudest moments of my life. He turned around and he looked at me and he said, Hey, it's penned. That's great. Oh, that's so cool. And that picture was on the front of the Hollywood reporter the next day. It was great. And I've said often to fans, you know, who say to me, who apologize because they're talking gibberish or, you know.
Starting point is 00:18:21 And I, my brain and my tongue, Homer Simpson style, completely disconnected. I just, I just talked gibberish to him. Of course. I'm from Liverpool, too. I do that too. I believe I actually did say that while I'm thinking, what are you doing? Did you guys talk about Liverpool? Honestly, the rest is a blur.
Starting point is 00:18:48 Yeah, he just dissociate. Yes, yes. Oh my gosh. I think we did, but he's not, a man a few words. Yeah, you know. He's got to be used to being seen as like an absolute God. It's arguably the most famous people on the planet or the Beatles. Right.
Starting point is 00:19:06 No, I mean, I was kind of completely. Oh, I'd be, I'd puke on myself. Help us. If I ever met Peter Murphy, I'd just puke all over myself or, like, Robert Smith. Those are my Beatles, you know what I mean? Right. So what is it like to be? Comedians, we're lucky in that when we meet fans, they're pretty happy to see us.
Starting point is 00:19:27 I think people, you know what I mean? Like, you're walking around in this wild costume. What is that like? Well, I'm not when fans meet you. No, no, no. They meet you as human. but like I'm saying like even walking around at the MTV Music Awards that's got to feel weird because you're not really filming a movie it does that that does kind of feel weird because you
Starting point is 00:19:50 you know people aren't relating to me and I'm not in character because I'm it's you know not doing that but nobody's relating to me they're relating to that image and what they see you know and all the pinhead jokes come out you know the pincushion jokes let's go let's hear the darkboard jokes and you know all of that um so yeah and and being in sunlight isn't great with the makeup yeah oh as a as a goth of you know 40 years or so i know oh i know well because the uh the foam latex is full of little air bubbles oh and they heat up slowly and you don't notice the process until suddenly everything is getting very warm.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Wow. And then it takes a long time to cool down again. So, yes, and it was only me and Ringo that day. I didn't get to encounter Roseanne as Pinnahead, which would have been pretty wild, I think. She would have loved it. Sure. So I'm going to ask you all the basic questions that you get asked,
Starting point is 00:21:05 40 million times a year. How long does it take to put on the makeup, Doug? It's been a pleasure talking to you, Christine. It's the worst. I'm sorry, I know. How do you come up with your skits, Christine? Well, early days, it was about five or six hours.
Starting point is 00:21:26 And then it comes up to about three or four would be the standard time. That's to get into it and then to get out of it at the end. of a day? 30 minutes to an hour. You just rip it off. No, no, they keep it intact because they're using it. No? No.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Neither of those things. And I hated the removal much more than the application. You have to proceed slowly because basically everything is glued to your skin. You can't just rip it off. And in particular, in my case, excuse me. Oh, my God. Please don't do that. Just kidding.
Starting point is 00:22:07 They, I see your microphone over there. I think clearing my throat is the least of our worries. What's I saying? Makeup, putting it on and taking it off. They got to pay you a lot more for that part. Jesus, it's just hours of your life. They used stuff called prosaid. Prostate?
Starting point is 00:22:33 Prost. Prost-Aid, prosthetic aid, I think, is the thing. Wow, look at you. That's, what year is this? This is 1994, it's bloodline. This was movie magic filmed this and gave the impression that this is what Pinhead liked to do. He liked to, if you watch carefully, you'll realize that I haven't got a fucking clue how to throw a football. I don't do American football
Starting point is 00:23:05 but they gave the impression that this is what Pinhead does when he's relaxing on set He likes to throw a football around in the parking lot This centibite No, he doesn't Who the fuck is that? Is that, is that? Oh, that's Jamie, right, okay, that's from the remake
Starting point is 00:23:23 The Hulu remake Oh, okay I haven't seen that picture before So she is a lady I could never tell what gender that centibite was which is another reason you guys were so ahead of your time. You had non-binary centibytes. In some ways.
Starting point is 00:23:39 I mean, you said I was wearing a skirt. So cool. It's like an S&M thing. Gosh, so I read Clive Barker stuff as a young teenager, and I didn't realize until last year when I reread books of blood because I was in a really dark place after, you know, breast cancer stuff. I was like in the darkest place. You turned to the books of blood to cheer yourself up.
Starting point is 00:24:04 I don't know what it was, but I was like, I have to read something darker than what's in my head to get me to access that darkness. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, you have to see something that feels safe to you to be able to deal with those feelings. And so I was reading it and a friend of mine was like, yeah, you know, Clive Barker, the guy who wrote, it's a gay man. And it totally, you see it as an adult in a totally different way. Now, this is very recently. Yeah, this is like a year ago. I was like, oh, my God, Clive Barker is a game dude?
Starting point is 00:24:36 This is like Barry Manolo coming out. You're like, well, now looking, I'm like, oh yeah, he was into like leather bond. That's probably why I liked it because I was a goth kid and I thought stylistically, it's so cool. Hey, everyone, don't miss my come-together tour. I've added a late show in West Palm Beach, Florida on Friday, September 19th. I'll also be in Allentown, Pennsylvania on Friday, September 26th, and the Kipsey, New York, York on Saturday, September 27th. Tickets and all info is at Tomsegura.com slash tour. You'd read the books of blood in high school, you said? As a teenager, yeah. So you'd read
Starting point is 00:25:10 in the hills, the cities? I don't know that one. Okay. Which one's that? Is that, I've only read the first volume. I don't remember everything. Rawhead Rex. I don't remember running order. Well, you know, Rawhead, Rawhead racks. There's a little bit of a clue in there as well. Right. Yes, yes. I didn't put together, like, you know, the eroticism as being gay or whatever. I don't know. He's not. Is he a Satanist? When I'm trying to ask you about, is that, is he into sex magic Satanism? Never mind the being homosexual bit. Is he a Satanist? That's what we want to know. Are you a Satanist? Am I a Satanist? Do you get asked that a lot? Are you a Satanist? Definitely. I worships the devil daily. There you guys are. There we go.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Oh, he's cute. I've never even seen an image of him. I think that may be on the set of Lord of Illusions. That was a weird night. I think that may be it. I was doing a night shoot for Hellraiser 4. Clive was doing a night shoot for Lord of Illusions, like a few blocks away.
Starting point is 00:26:14 And they gave me permission in the middle of the night to go and visit. Oh. So I did. I don't think Clive was best amused because it kind of brought his entire filming process to standstill. I know when you show up. that gear.
Starting point is 00:26:27 When Pin had wandered on. So you guys have a really interesting past together that I didn't even, I was not even aware of. You guys have kind of. I didn't answer your question, by the way. Oh, sorry. No, he's not a Satanist. He's not a Satanist. And are you, do you worship the devil?
Starting point is 00:26:44 Okay. No. I'm, I'm an atheist. So by definition, if I don't believe in God, I can't believe in the devil. Good, good reasoning. True story. Okay, so hold on. You and Clive go way back.
Starting point is 00:27:00 When did you mean him? 1723. 1723? On a Monday afternoon. Shortly before America was invented. I'm not sure of the precise year. It's going to be, pardon for the liquid death noises off. Appropriate moment.
Starting point is 00:27:25 I got cast. in the school play. We're at Quarry Bank High School in Liverpool. Ten years before that John Lennon was a pupil. I got cast in the school play so I'm told to report to rehearsals which I did
Starting point is 00:27:45 and met my fellow cast members which included Fellamillade. So, and that's you know I've said and it's true really. That was the day that changed my life. Clive was already writing, starring in, directing, hand-drawing the posters for his own plays at school,
Starting point is 00:28:10 which the head teacher used to give him permission to take over the school hall and put these plays on. And I got drawn into that orbit. But isn't that amazing? Sorry, just for a minute, that your friends at that age, are so seminal to who you become like had you not met clive and had you not gotten weird with him we wouldn't be sitting here today you know had i not met my weirdo friends at 15 and you and they're like you should listen to this music or you should read this book or you should go here and then that's how the Beatles met right like in high school uh a lot of people met high school back in the day
Starting point is 00:28:49 so anyway continue so you're with clive and high school that's where you two formed right Adam Clayton put a notice on the school notice board, drummer looking for people to be in the band. Wild, right? And the other three were at school with him. And they all said, hey, yeah. What is it about British schools? Well, that was an Irish school.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Oh, you were an Irish school. Yes, you have to make a sharp distinction. Sorry, yeah. Between Britain and the Republic of Ireland, or you'll start a war. Oh, I know. Oh, I know. Oh, that was in 1992 at the unveiling of the Hollywood Wax Museum.
Starting point is 00:29:23 okay so is that not actually me it may not be actually so weird that may that may be a wax dummy in me I thought I looked a bit weird it looks really good though for 92 the costume doesn't look quite right oh what is that like to to look at a photograph of yourself and go that's not me and realize it isn't that's just a statue of me in this wacky costume and this have a slip in it so people always assume that you are this guy, right? That you are a torturous demon from hell when they meet you? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:02 That would be for people to answer. Yeah. But people are, you know, there's, it's the fun of the distinction between me and the character, you know, that's always there. It's always
Starting point is 00:30:17 there, but that's true for any any entertainer. Yeah. You know. the distinct for you when you're on stage Of course
Starting point is 00:30:27 With you know You're the microphone You are in In character as Christina P And that's what you're presenting And then if people see you In the supermarket the next day
Starting point is 00:30:41 You know It's weird Which people You know I've had people say to me You know What are you doing here? They don't have AGB in hell I eat food
Starting point is 00:30:52 Yeah Yeah. Yeah, but why are you here? It's fucking wild. I've had people say that to me too. Like, wait, you carry a backpack? Somebody said that to me. Really?
Starting point is 00:31:02 You have a backpack? I'm like, yeah, dude. Like, I'm still an idiot. I'm still just a human. Yeah, but we just shamble around doing everyday things when. Farting in microphones, dude. Yes. But I think it's such an important, it's such an important function.
Starting point is 00:31:17 I'm agreeing with you, but that's, I've, I've never knowingly farted into a microphone. It's your first time. If I feel the need to fart, I'll ask you for the microphone. This would be the greatest day ever if Doug Bradley farted into my fart mic. Because then I can show my husband like, see, celebrities love the fart mic, babe. Okay. You'd be like the first celebrity to fart. Is he appalled by your fart mic?
Starting point is 00:31:41 Yeah. Yes. He doesn't want to give the people what they want. I know what the people want. And I want the fart mic too. Okay. Such a fucking bullshit. What I was going to say is it's such an important.
Starting point is 00:31:52 function that horror has in society and I think you play a really, all monsters and you've even written a book about masks and the function and right of, say a little bit about that. I know this book you wrote was based on a talk you gave. Yeah, it started, it started as an illustrated lecture. And then it was suggested to me that it should be a book, which was cool because it was always very, very difficult for me to squeeze all the material down into, you know, an hour for this illustrated lecture. And it was still difficult for me to squeeze everything down into the book. So I, part of the thing that drew me into playing Pinhead, in the interim after, after school and Pinhead, and that's, it's the best part of like
Starting point is 00:32:48 15 years in between. We had done a lot of theatre work together and we had done a lot of masking work in the theatre work. And so there was always a fascination with that process. And as soon as I got into horror, it was very much, you know, those performances that were the most intriguing.
Starting point is 00:33:15 Boris Karloff in Frankenstein, obviously, and then discovering Long Cheney Senior and so on and so forth. So in the book, I started by talking a little bit about the whole cultural history of masking because it seems as though there's not any culture, anywhere, any time, any place that did not incorporate masking, either in a, in a, in, a context of war or in a context of religion or in some function in in daily life um and in particular to elevate yourself out of the human away from the human and in the in the moment of putting a mask on you cease to be that human being and you you you become the thing that the mask
Starting point is 00:34:11 yes yes to the world it's the image it's the persona and that's what persona means and then I talked about how we tend to talk about theater being born
Starting point is 00:34:33 in the sacred groves behind the acropolis the groves that were involved in the worship of Dionysus theatre seems to be born there and Greek theatre grows out of that in Greek theatre every single actor was masked
Starting point is 00:34:51 no actor in Greek theatre ever went on stage as themselves and these were fixed rigid masks that presented a persona a character and you would recognise the audience would recognise immediately from the mask who this person was and what their function was
Starting point is 00:35:09 and there's also a suggestion And they always have very kind of exaggerated mouthpieces like that. And it's suggested that this may also serve the function of helping to, you know, like a loud hailer, project the voice out into the amphitheater. I talked about no theatre in Japan, which is all masked kabuki theater in Japan as well. and then I took it into horror movies which it seemed to me is where the legacy gets carried forward
Starting point is 00:35:46 in the 20th century gods and demons and magic and transformation and so I wanted to talk specifically about the actor's relationship to the makeup Lonchaney Sr. It was like a calling
Starting point is 00:36:06 for him. You know, he made his own makeups. He applied the makeups himself. And no other actor has done that. You might not be, he was, I mean, look at that. And he did, all of that he did himself. Are you kidding me? All of that he did himself. That's like so iconic this guy. And he wouldn't let any of his secrets away. He wouldn't talk about it. And he refused to answer fan mail. Everything went in the bin. There are a couple of staged pictures of him with his makeup kit. It's very theatrical a lot of his makeup because he started in vaudeville and that was where he learned. You see the picture there of him with the makeup box, which I think you can see in the Los Angeles County Museum.
Starting point is 00:36:56 But that's a staged picture. Nobody ever got near him when he was doing his makeups. And then you have, you know, you have, like Charles Lawton playing the hunchback of Notre Dame, who had a very, very bad relationship with his makeup artist. And Boris Karloff and Jack Pierce, very, very close relationship working on Frankenstein and also the mummy. That's Jack Pierce working in his, it looks like a dentist, doesn't he? It's amazing. Working on Carloff.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Wow. Do you realize you're like an iconic monster? Well, I do. So great. I have to. You know, because it's just because it's incontrovertible. We all are, all the people we've been talking about, Robert and Kane and Gunnar Hansen, that late Gunah Hansen, who played the first leather face so memorably and so brilliantly.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Terrifying. We are. We have left our indelible mark on horror cinema. I mean, it's very difficult for me to put myself in the same company as Boris. Oh, you are. Let me tell you, I had to walk out of Hellbound Hellraiser 2 when I was 13 years old. I had to leave. that's how traumatized I was. Cool.
Starting point is 00:38:35 So cool. I've never walked out of a film because I was that afraid. My stepsister and I snuck in. We were too young to be in it. I was 13 years old. And there was skin, was it 88? It was 1942. Was it an R?
Starting point is 00:38:48 Probably. Yeah, it was R. And it's the first time I think it was Julia coming out of the mattress. That's a scene. Holy shit, man. That's full on that one. And I've never seen anything like that before. And then you show up.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Oh, Julia. Oh, my God. It still terrifies me. It's wild. It's wild. There's nothing like this. It's all the cutting of the arm, Oliver Smith, who played skinned Frank in Hellraiser. He's back for that.
Starting point is 00:39:24 And you've got all of that. And that's quite difficult to deal with. And it's only a kind of. um appetizer for for julia emerging from the mattress it's pretty wild spoiler alert if you haven't seen this movie came out in 1988 we can talk about it right josh i always get into trouble but yeah it gets way crazier and i just re-watched it before you came to austin just to re-terify myself and it's still i think because you have the themes of mental illness and dr chenard and Castie.
Starting point is 00:40:03 But my, oh no, don't even say it. Can I tell you my favorite line? When I really started to love Pinhead, and I was like, oh, this character's different. This guy's got some humanity. This is deeper than just slash bullshit stuff. You know what I'm saying? Like is when Tiffany unlocks the box and summons the centibites.
Starting point is 00:40:24 And then they all come out and you're last and you go, no. And then the lady with the thing goes, no. And you go, no. It is not hands that call us. It is desire. Desire. I just got diarrhea having you do that to me right now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Oh, I got a fart mic. Yeah, I got a fucking shit in the mic, man. Wow. You're stressing me out, Doc. Yeah, that's so like a... Oh, man. You see, what you were saying earlier is very true because Latherface doesn't speak.
Starting point is 00:41:01 No. He kind of makes piggy noises beautifully, brilliantly done by gunner, but he doesn't speak. Michael doesn't speak. Jason doesn't speak. Freddy does, but he just calls everybody a bitch.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Yeah. You know. He talks some shit. And he has her dreams, which is terrifying. And I've always said that, you know, if Freddy is rock and roll, pinhead is a requiem mass.
Starting point is 00:41:28 Yes. That's where he belongs. And what you said about what I channel with the character, that's all down to Clive. That's all down to Clive. No, don't do that. That's, but he, but those ideas of humanity and those, those lines, those resonating lines, um, no tears, please, it's a waste of good suffering and your suffering will be legendary,
Starting point is 00:41:57 even in hell and we'll tear your soul apart. All of that, that is all from Clive. I mean, I'm not engaging in false modesty at all. Yes, that's my performance and I did what I did with it. And obviously, I seem to have done something right. But the material comes from Clive. I mean, I changed not one word of what he wrote. And the thing for me was because, obviously, I'd also had a front row seat
Starting point is 00:42:31 for that 15 years to all of Clive's creativity Oh How dare you I had a belch At a belch moment We need a belch mic too This is the belch mic
Starting point is 00:42:43 The The The The The The The kind of juvenileia movies That he was making
Starting point is 00:42:56 The short stories And the endless endless art, the constant art, the drawing every single day of his life. I saw all of that. And particularly in the writing, as you know from the books of blood, he naturally has quite a high poetic style. It's very easy to read. But it, I mean, I would make a comparison to Poe who does the same thing. But that's naturally Clive's writing style. So when I started reading the Hellraiser screenplay, the first thing that struck me was how he was kind of almost writing down because he had to. He's kind of writing in movie ease, which is not necessarily the way that he would
Starting point is 00:43:51 normally be writing. And I was very aware that when Pinhead arrived and started his speak, I felt like Clive was going, thank fuck for that. And he was, you know, he was taking the handbrake off. Let it rip. Yeah. So the language he employs for Pinhead is, is completely different from the way that anybody else in the movie speaks. So I have those lines, that language, that costume, that makeup, you know. No.
Starting point is 00:44:26 What's your, I mean, it's haunting. it's truly but you're right because it is such a scene stealer you just want to watch pinhead talk you're like what's he going to say what's he going to do is he going to kill what's he going to do can I ask you like the stupidest question like Chris Farley type remember when I when you were in that band
Starting point is 00:44:48 I feel like that's what this interview isn't that great yeah no it's it's the fucking it's the best go on you can ask me I'm sure stupid question So, um, You use the hour one. I, um, what accent does Pinhead have in correlation?
Starting point is 00:45:09 Like, what part of England is he from? If you have to, because I don't think you're doing like a Liverpool accent, right? Like, so. Scouse Pinhead. I'll tear your fucking soul apart, lad. I'll tell you now. You're suffering.
Starting point is 00:45:25 It'll be fucking legendary, even in hell. it's totally different movie and everybody gets a pint it would be yeah yeah totally different you know what I mean like you know what I mean like yeah no that's oh I do like Australian you say well you you go cockney like like like oh yeah like
Starting point is 00:45:42 like oh yeah like like like like like you know what I mean like you know what I mean like yeah La gavna what's yeah oh for fuck sake no tears please oh for fuck it's a waste of good suffering come on save that suffering for later so cool man we just rewrote this um yeah no i'm not sure that would have worked no quite so i don't know it's just it's just my voice it's your voice
Starting point is 00:46:13 and it's special i want to share i didn't i wasn't well i mean by definition he's countryless stateless you know he has no he has no social place he has no he is he is he is you know he's kind of in abeyance as a being so there's no there's no geographical or cultural location for him well uh other than hell hell yeah yeah yeah okay hell his address h-e double hockey sticks no yes um i just want to show this photograph is this you and clive as babies look at you too and your lovely wife step said this to me right and i thought this was really cool. Can you talk about that a little bit?
Starting point is 00:47:01 Sure. So, it's 1976. We're in Liverpool. So I am, it's a, I'm 21. How about that? Fuck me. I know. So we're almost 50 years on because I turn 71 in a few weeks.
Starting point is 00:47:27 And for those people who know their Liverpool geography, looking through the window, we're looking out on Belvedere Road. And it was a point where Clive was kind of ramping up filming on the Forbidden again, which was a thing that was rolling around for a few years. And it rolled on for a few years, that. It started out as an adaptation of Christopher Marlowe's Dr. Faustus, the play, to make that as an adaptation for a film. Even by this time, it's become something completely different. And we're in a flat that two people who were both at Quarry Bank and were
Starting point is 00:48:27 part of the group that had constellated around Clive. This was their flat and they'd agreed to let Clive use a room in the flat, as we call them in England, apartment. And it was completely painted black and that the circle, the circles on the window, Clive had put that in there because he wanted sunlight to come in through the window in with those patterns and we'd painted the floor we'd strip the room back to bare floorboards and painted those
Starting point is 00:49:05 either white or alternately black and white what you're seeing on the edge is the nail board as I call it and this was purely a visual idea that Clive wanted to explore
Starting point is 00:49:25 in the film so I have to always think this backwards he's got a piece of wood and he's painted it white and he's put a gridiron pattern on it in black and then at each intersection he's put in a nail a big thick like a six inch nine inch nail big chunky nail
Starting point is 00:49:56 and then just filming it flat on and swinging a light in front of it so that the shadows of the nails moved across the board like a sundial
Starting point is 00:50:12 but then developing it in negative so that now the nails appear as kind of ghostly grey things the shadows are now white shadows on a black background with a white gridiron and the shadows are white which shadows ought not to be
Starting point is 00:50:40 and they're moving backwards and forwards on the nail board that's great that's it it's just it's just a visual idea it's one of one of the one of the one of the one of the one of the keys to the way that clive clive works always worked with his imagination there are lots of examples of this nothing's ever wasted nothing's ever forgotten everything's always in there so as i say this is nineteen seventy six nine years later uh in no ten years later. In 1986, we're turning the cameras on Hellraiser, and Clive has anthropomorphized the nail board, and it's become the character who had no name, who became, you know, known as
Starting point is 00:51:39 pinhead. It's wild. None of the Cenobites have had any named names. In my own head, they, pinhead doesn't. It was the special effects makeup crew who gave us the names when they were prepping the film because I'm lead cenobite and then there's, you know, it was chattering cenobite. Yeah, the chatterbox. I didn't like that guy either. The fat cenobite and the female centibite. They needed names for when they were working on the makeups in the, in the workshop, you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Are you working on the lead centabyte today? You know, it's a bit, so they gave us, the names were their nicknames for us. That's amazing. Pinhead, Butterball, Chatterer, and the female cenobite was called Deep Throat. I didn't know that. Which may be the reason why she continued to be credited as the female cenobite. But so in the preparation of the film,
Starting point is 00:52:40 they had all been talking about Pinhead and Butterball and Chatterer. And so when we went on set, those are the names that were being used and they just they stuck so that by by the time certainly Hellbound came out
Starting point is 00:53:02 the press were talking about Pinhead but but in my mind he has no name nobody ever called him Pinhead in the movies he was called a Pinhead
Starting point is 00:53:16 once that's a different a different thing what was his name as a human uh spencer elliot captain in the in the british army in the first world war old timey he had a piss helmet when we see him uh when we see him at the beginning of hellbound it's uh probably in 1921 he's stayed in the british army and he's um uh he would be the the reason that we see him in tropical uniform is that he's probably now engaged in putting down the Indian mutinies in the early 1920s. There it is.
Starting point is 00:53:59 You get a little clue with the voice on the radio, which is talking in, say, Indian. That's ridiculous. There's no such language, but whatever Urdu or Hindi or whatever language it is that you hear, which is just a little clue as to where we are. Not English, am I right? And there is his pith helmet. There is the pith helmet. And that's why he's got a pith helmet because he's out in India.
Starting point is 00:54:28 And there would have been scenes preceding this of him in an Indian Street Bazaar making his way looking for the place that he's been told sells Lament configurations. The puzzle box. And then he would have gone in, and then you would have had the standard Hellraiser transaction seeing, you know, what's it worth and all of that inside. Now, we'd had a big bump up in budget from Hellraiser to Hellbound, but then there was a financial crisis. And as the money was being moved from Los Angeles to London, the exchange rates went crazy. and wiped about a third off the budget by the time the money was in London. And New World couldn't make up the money
Starting point is 00:55:30 that was even talk about postponing, filming, until things settled down a bit. But we went ahead. And so those two scenes prior to this moment, which really only be... It's so hard to watch. I still can't. Only because they, you know, they would have required two sets building and they're only establishing scenes. Yeah, yeah, you don't need to do that for an establishing scene.
Starting point is 00:55:58 They went, which was a shame. That would have been nice. Fuck, I forgot. It was about him. Oh, I read the novella that that story is based on. The hellbound heart. Yes. And it's, I didn't even realize this before because I was always like, well, why do these people want to go to hell?
Starting point is 00:56:15 What the hell is wrong? Like, what's wrong with you? What is that? And in that book, The Hellbound Heart, right? Is the name of it? They're promising him, they kind of trick him to send him by it. They're like, he's assuming he's going to get like ladies. Well, that's what everybody assumes.
Starting point is 00:56:29 That's what Frank assumes in Hellraiser. And again, the difference to the other movies around at the time are, Pinhead is not a boogeyman. He's not hiding around the corners in the shadows. waiting to jump you. There's a whole process here. You have to be somewhere fucked up enough in your head that you, you, you become aware of the existence of this thing called the Lament Configuration.
Starting point is 00:57:07 And the promise that it's going to give you something beyond. And Frank has the line, it's never enough. It's never enough. and for him that's all about you know sex and drugs no matter how much sex he does no matter how many quantities of drugs he takes
Starting point is 00:57:26 it's never enough and the cenobites the box seem to promise something beyond that's Dr Faustus that's straight out of Faustus it's straight out of Marlowe again where he says
Starting point is 00:57:42 it's not it's not sex and drugs and rock and roll in Elizabeth in England but Faustus is saying he studied everything he's studied the philosophers he studied natural history he studied theology
Starting point is 00:57:58 he studied the natural sciences he studied everything and it's not enough Is that all there is? It's not giving him the answers and that's when Mephistophilus appears and says I can help you with that
Starting point is 00:58:11 or a price your soul and so that's you know that it's a Faustian bargain but so you have to you have to have the motivation to want to find
Starting point is 00:58:25 a lament configuration I don't know how you know you can't just you know I don't know whether now you could go on Amazon I've got one in my sorry I got one I got it on Etsy it lights up though and
Starting point is 00:58:39 you have to obtain it work out how to open it. Solve the damn thing. With the right motivation. It is not hands that call us. Right.
Starting point is 00:58:49 And then and only then will you meet the Cenobites. But as you say in the hellbound heart, that's what Frank assumes. That's going to be horny. Good times. What Clive does so brilliantly in the hellbound heart is that what Frank gets is he gets everything. He gets everything. Yes. All at once.
Starting point is 00:59:08 All at the same time. You know, he's he's coming all over the floor. boards he's got every song in every song every piece of music he's ever heard in his life in his ears all at the same time every all the conversations he's been engaged in and and every conversation he's overheard it's all happening to him all at the same time and he clive says you know he could he could feel every every breath he can feel at the in his throat every dust moat on his skin he's aware of he's hyper aware of and it's insanity and he's screaming and begging for it to stop and then it does and he's lying on a heap in a heap on the
Starting point is 00:59:59 floor um and the female cenobite is watching him in a very rude kind of way brilliantly described by clive in the hellbound heart no she's just watching him and she's got her legs spread showing everything with these tongues from that Frank has no doubt belong to people that she has killed laid out on her thighs
Starting point is 01:00:30 and she just looks at him and says so you've finished dreaming good now we can play or time to which becomes time to play in in the movies and that's the that's that's that's the kickstart to the hellbound heart fucks me up yeah right like do you just feel fucked up just
Starting point is 01:00:54 hearing that but it's a cautionary tale and it's also about like the hedonic treadmill that you can one can get on instead of just being still and being like yeah you know it's kind of like I want to tell my dad like there's only so many bitches you can fuck it's only so many stepmoms I can have right you're right that this is the This is the story of like, it's never enough. You've got to find peace and calm. It's not out there. Nothing is out there.
Starting point is 01:01:22 It's an inside job. But it's our curse, isn't it? Of course, we're human. It sucks. We always want to, you know, we see a mountain. We want to climb the mountain. So we climb the mountain. And there's another mountain.
Starting point is 01:01:36 Yeah. So now we have to climb the mountain. And, oh, look, there's another mountain. No. Here we go. I don't know who has it said that. What's up? What's out there?
Starting point is 01:01:46 Yeah. More. We'd better build a rocket and go and find out, hadn't we? We have that, this insatiable cure. You know, whales, we know, are hugely, hugely intelligent. I just read this thing about, from studying Wales song, they've worked out this process that when whales are migrating, they're sometimes not quite sure. which way they should go, you know, like us in cars before GPS.
Starting point is 01:02:18 Do we go straight on here or do we make a, do we, Fred, do you remember last year? Did we go straight? Well, I think we turned left. I don't think so. I think we were. And they will keep this conversation going between themselves for long periods of time. And they won't make a decision until every whale in the pod. has reached an agreement which by the sounds they're making
Starting point is 01:02:47 are kind of coming together and then they make their decision to go. They're hugely social, hugely intelligent, and apparently perfectly content to be whales in the ocean. They come out and breach. So they obviously have an awareness that there's this other place up here. But they don't have the desire to go and build machines
Starting point is 01:03:12 to take themselves out to go and explore, you know, there isn't a whale yet who said, Bob, you know, when we breach, when we do that jumping up in the air thing, and all the people on the boats take photographs of us, you want to go and join them? No.
Starting point is 01:03:34 You know, find out what they're up to, see what they're doing. I know. I know, it's like a reward. They don't have that. They don't have that. Well, yeah, I know. Someone once said to me, like, you know what the reward is for being a successful comedian? Just more work.
Starting point is 01:03:49 The reward is for being successful. You just do more of the same shit. Do it harder, faster again and again and again. And yet to your next special out. Oh, fuck off. Who cares? Who cares? Listen, I want to do one thing with you since you're from Liverpool.
Starting point is 01:04:08 By the way, I think we have to thank your son, Sage. for hooking us up. Shout out. My stepson. Yeah. Step son. Absolutely. Sage, Shulow.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Thank you because he made you aware of your mom's house. Well, he made his mom aware of your mom's house. He was, he was, he's hugely into comedy, massively into comedy. And he's been listening to Joe Rogan for forever, which I think is, I think is to wonderful thing because he is of the generation that doesn't read you know he he's of is it maybe the first generation of Americans who will not have read Tom Sawyer yeah will not have read Huckleberry Finn and probably never will what what Rogan has done is he's introduced him to the marketplace of ideas he's introduced
Starting point is 01:05:12 him to this place where people do this. Yes. And just sit and exchange ideas in a civilized manner. So Sage is hugely into comedy. Well, he's got to come out to Austin. And also my... He had started listening to YM.H. And he said to his mom,
Starting point is 01:05:33 you've got to watch this, your mom's house. Because the chick is on there. She's kind of like... He's kind of a bit like you. So Steph started watching And then from time to time She'd show me clips Of the craziness
Starting point is 01:05:52 Yeah and that's when we started interacting on Instagram a little bit And I was like, no way, this guy's fucking crazy This guy likes us I don't think Pennhead had a sense of humor But he does Okay, so you're from Liverpool And I need you to help me
Starting point is 01:06:08 Decipher what's happening here You think you could translate some of this? I'll try Sometimes when I go back to Liverpool now, because they did this survey recently on regional accents in Britain, and they concluded that regional accents are kind of merging, that they're softening, they're losing their edge. You know, it used to be you could go from one village to another village, only a few miles down the road, and the language and the dialect would change slightly. in an age when 10 miles was a long way
Starting point is 01:06:46 and it was a big deal to make a journey from there to there and this was generally true around the country except in Liverpool where the accent was getting stronger was getting more severe so sometimes when I'm back in Liverpool I hear people speaking and I think
Starting point is 01:07:05 I have no idea what you're saying yeah well listen to this see if you can help me I'll do my best How do you reckon How do you reckon How do I deposit Press the space bar on me? I'm tired of
Starting point is 01:07:24 So If you go back to the beginning They're talking about football Okay Soccer So the first bit is How do you reckon we're going to get on this year, lad? I think we're going to
Starting point is 01:07:41 to Wembley again I think that's I think that's the first two lines and then I One more time I Obviously you aren't going to win We're going to beat you so
Starting point is 01:07:55 Jordan get a league like at all ground Right So he's He's an Evertonian The guy in the blue supports Evanton and the guy in the red supports Liverpool and he's saying I think
Starting point is 01:08:07 I think use And that's You're going to draw and get a replay at our ground You're going to draw and get a replay at our ground Show me how to pause it Hold on, let Tom chastise me a little bit Oh, Bell House, Bell House Bell House is dead
Starting point is 01:08:25 Wow, okay, let's So we know we're talking about Football Yeah, so it's How'd you reckon we're going to get on lad Is the first line I think he's going to go to Wembley again and then
Starting point is 01:08:42 I would guess maybe Liverpool and Everton have played an FAA Cup game a knockout game at Anfield and so I think the Evertonian is then saying I think you're going to get a draw
Starting point is 01:09:00 and a replay at our ground but it's very very very flat and it's very quick how do you think I'm going to get on that I don't think he's going to go to Wembley again. He's going to get a drawer of your ground and get a replay at our place. What makes you say that? Because we done it last game, Ba, two weeks ago. What's Ba?
Starting point is 01:09:21 Bar, I don't know what that is. About two weeks ago, maybe? Cause we've done it about two weeks ago. It might be about about. Okay, let's go to the next clip. You didn't park the bus. You played great. Parked the bus.
Starting point is 01:09:34 We played football. Parked the bus is, that means you you were being very very defensive so you're going into the game to protect nil-nil to not concede so it's so
Starting point is 01:09:51 effectively the idea is you've parked parked a boss in front of the goal oh got got it got so they can't they can't do okay got it okay this is fucking you park the bus what yeah we do I just celebrate and my users just won the world cup because you
Starting point is 01:10:07 Usa celebrating lad like Hughes has won the World Cup. You nail that, by the way. Which, you know, Doug Radley. They do, that's the thing with Evertonians. They get a fucking draw. They think they've won. You know, that's the truth of it.
Starting point is 01:10:21 They did last season. They beat us two all at Gooderson. And they were, no, they, they, it was late on, you know, in our inexorable march to winning the title for the 20th time. We drew two all at Gooderson against Everton. Yeah, you're speaking. It's like Chinese. The good old and levist.
Starting point is 01:10:41 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. So that's what he's saying. You've got to draw and use a celebrating like he'd won the World Cup. Okay. That was really good. Try this guy, okay? You did that one really, really well. This one is probably the hardest in YMH history.
Starting point is 01:11:05 We're here in clarity because we've been invited by. very special character. I hear he's a local legend. He's Irish. Sham, how are you? We're here in Kalarni today. Are you from Kalarni? I'm from Kalarni. Born and bread. Born and bread
Starting point is 01:11:25 in Kalani. So it's a place that we would know as Kalani. I mean, I'm not, it's, this is, I'm out of my depth here. he's pronouncing Kalani as Kalani. Kalarni. Kalani. Bananbered and Klani.
Starting point is 01:11:46 Okay. With not very many teeth in his head, which doesn't help. But I think the guy interviewing him, who is Irish, I think he's struggling a bit. Well, they all are. Okay, so let's keep going. And what's your favorite thing about Kalarni? To me, Kahn, my best thing,
Starting point is 01:12:02 Chathitin, to me, Kahn. They've been my better, to me, Kana. Yeah? Just again. Yeah. Good player. Good player. Somebody's a good player.
Starting point is 01:12:12 Oh, you're just a good player. He may be called, he may be called O'Connor. I think I may have caught that. O'Connor? Possibly. Maybe. Yeah. I wouldn't, I don't, I don't, I, I, otherwise I have not got a clue.
Starting point is 01:12:29 Not a clue. Check, some of the same, John and Jackson. Okay. How well, then this is your regular spot. We're in a Conner's barrier. I got Jackson Oh, we're in our Commons bar
Starting point is 01:12:40 Oh Oh, God I moved around You moved around a lot I mean like to shut off He did what I don't I don't
Starting point is 01:12:50 I'm a bit worried Well that one Those guys And there's the haceration going on In the background Oh yeah On the television
Starting point is 01:12:58 The horses I fucking hate horses I know you hate horses Don't talk about horses They love They love the horses I wish they were all fucking down
Starting point is 01:13:07 of the horses. I wish they would all get murdered. That's an awful thing to say. Well, I don't give a shit. What is a horse ever done to you? They've stepped on me. They make bad smells. Well, get out of the way.
Starting point is 01:13:18 I don't fucking like them. You have a fart microphone and you're complaining about horses making bad smells. Okay, one last. Tell me if you can, like, decipher what the fuck is to. We're always sitting. That looked to me like a terrible goalkeeping mirror. Oh, okay. Pause.
Starting point is 01:13:35 Hold on. This is this is North London This is actually the area of London that I lived in for 30 years And it's Arsenal And the guy interviewing At the beginning he's saying
Starting point is 01:13:53 Now the North London accent Has become something very specific Because it has absorbed An awful lot of influences From waves of immigration The guy doing the interviewing looks to me as though he may be of
Starting point is 01:14:11 British Caribbean background and the guy that's being interviewed looks as though he may be of Middle Eastern extraction. I'm guessing wildly. The guy in the middle is looks, you know, English. And the
Starting point is 01:14:31 accent has absorbed all those elements. You can hear Yeah, how he has a very, the guy on the right, the scarf around his neck, because he's got a very, very pronounced North London accent. And you've also, a lot of Greeks and then Turkish people coming in, and they've all brought their own inflections, Indian, Bangladeshis, Pakistanis, and it's become very much a soup. So you're getting, you're getting,
Starting point is 01:15:08 like, look to me like a basic goalkeeping error. You got to hear this. And I'm, I can't quite, I need my, I'll call my daughter. She can, she understands this lingo a bit better than I do. This is so funny, go on. Now, blood. He keeps calling in blood. Motivation blood.
Starting point is 01:15:26 You hear how that's almost like a Caribbean note in that? Motivation blood. What's he doing, blood? What's he doing? What's he doing? So blood is like bro. What did he do, blood? What did he do, blood? What did he do?
Starting point is 01:15:41 What are they doing in the board, blood? What are they doing? I'm not the only man get imagined all, blood. Everyone's mad here, fan. You understand? Fair man come here and waste their money, blood. You understand? Every week, blood. You understand? The most expensive season ticket, blood.
Starting point is 01:15:52 We won a London Derby this year, fan. We all have a London Derby this year, blood. That's Arsenal playing spurt or playing other teams from London. Who else we done? Who? No one, fam. This team is dead, fam. No one, fam.
Starting point is 01:16:04 thumb who's done who who who no one blood yeah no one blood we come here every week we come here every week so a man go home and away blood so a man go europe for this blood fam come a man go europe you see that's that's like that's like a Jamaican it's rad i love it it's like a patois right is that the word i don't even know and it's it's it so it's this it's great it is an unimaginable melting pot in London and all those linguistic elements have fed found their way into into the accent yeah it is becoming way more diverse in London wow thank you so much for joining also just know that Doug does these conventions where you can actually talk to him and he's so sweet you're so kind with your fans and you spend time with people talking to people
Starting point is 01:17:01 I think that's lovely. So people can see you at a horror convention. Sure. Where am I going to be next? In September, I'll be in Albuquerque. Oh. I don't have my phone on me, so I can't check the dates, to be precise. But in September, I'll be in Albuquerque and also at a convention called Silver
Starting point is 01:17:27 Scream, which is in Worcester, Massachusetts. Wurster. Worsester. Wastor. That's like an hour out of Boston. Okay. And in October, I will be in Lexington, Kentucky. Oh, sexy Lexington. Also, check him out on YouTube.
Starting point is 01:17:53 Doug does this great thing where he reads Christmas stories. Well, at Christmas I do. Yeah, I love it. The rest of the year I don't read. Anything we should would all year or though. You just want me to read Christmas stories all the fun. I love to hear your cool accent. Check him out on YouTube also.
Starting point is 01:18:09 I think you should join TikTok. I read classic horror stories. I love that. It's the thing I've always done. Steph, you know, thinks I'm slightly mad because I'm always reading to myself aloud. But I always... That's fun. I always did that since I was a boy.
Starting point is 01:18:24 So it was, you know, kind of a lockdown thing, and it was Sir Patrick Stewart. who gave me the kind of idea for it, because during lockdown, he did this great thing of reading a Shakespeare sonnet every day and going through Shakespeare's complete sonnet cycle, and he's just sitting in an armchair. See, there's me reading a Halloween story. I love that.
Starting point is 01:18:48 Not just a Christmas story. I love that. I want you on TikTok. But the first one is a Christmas story because a pinhead puts his Santa hat on for Christmas. I love that. um so uh so those on there and there's also i recorded a a huge cycle of classic horror stories called spine chillers which you can buy um at the store on my website so duck bradley dot com forward slash store um ignore the website because it's horribly out of date and i'm faintly embarrassed by it
Starting point is 01:19:23 just just go go to the store i like it you got some is that a severed hand That's cool as shit Hey man I like it Well awesome So they can check out your website And find all that stuff Thank you so much again for coming to Austin
Starting point is 01:19:40 Oh not at all thank you so much This has been an It's beyond a pleasure It's been huge fun It's been so fun And I just want to leave on this Blood You also have to understand that these are Arsenal fans.
Starting point is 01:20:03 And, you know, I do seriously think that being an Arsenal fan should be classified as a mental disorder. They're not normal. They're not quite right in the head. They don't perceive reality quite as you and I do. They do not. Well, on that note, they're very troubled individuals. I'm so sorry if you're an Arsenal fan. Liverpool.
Starting point is 01:20:27 Thank you so much. All right, mommies. I, just a quick note, you won't see me for quite a while. I'm going to have my top surgery tomorrow. I'm so nervous they're going to take the fat from my belly and they're going to make boobs. And, you know, I've had so many pairs of boobs now. I'm like triple trans at this point.
Starting point is 01:20:47 I don't know what I'm considered. But next time you see me, I'll have a new rack. I'm going to go for cute little French girl titties because they still can gain, you can still gain weight because it's your belly fat. But I'll be out for like, gosh, I don't know, maybe six weeks, I hope so. Next time I don't know. Will I get big black tits?
Starting point is 01:21:06 I hope so. What if I wake up? Well, only if you've got a big black belly, presumably. What if I'm like, I want a big black ones? But doesn't mean this. Wouldn't that be fun? Or I show her a picture. She's like, because your surgeon's like, what kind of tits do you want?
Starting point is 01:21:19 And I actually did find a picture of a black woman. And I was like, but my surgeon's black too. So I don't want to sound racist. like, can I just have the boobs, but not the color? Do these come in another color? Yeah, can we do this in a lighter hue? But I really like the shape of these. What?
Starting point is 01:21:40 But so, won't you have two sort of conical-shaped holes in your belly? Oh, no. Two boob-shaped holes. Can we do this real fast and then we'll get out? You got to see it. It's called the deep flap. D-I-E-P flap. I'm sorry, I'm asked now.
Starting point is 01:21:54 No, don't be. You're going to throw up. Hey, I get to. horrify pinhead. Oh! This is a dream. Okay, so pull up like drawings or images of it. This surgery, first of all, it's going to take two plastic surgeons to do it simultaneously. It's a 10-hour surgery. So they take the fat from my belly because I don't have tits anymore. There's just bags of, you know, it's just implant because I had a double mastectomy. So they'll take the fat from my belly. They cut, they carve it out like that. God, it's so hell-raisery. And then they're
Starting point is 01:22:26 going to put it in my tit. They're going to rip the skin off of it and put the fat in my boob and then zip it up. And then I'll have a few revision surgeries, I guess. And then they give you a tummy tuck. Sorry, long story short, they'll so, they'll tuck my tummy. So I'll have a flat stomach for the first time since I was 12 years old, which is going to be really exciting for me. And you don't gain weight in your stomach again because they take out all the fat cells, which is cool. I can still gain weight in my boobs because it's belly fat. Yeah, there's a live pictures does that gross you out or are you immune to it because you're pinhead when you look at those bloody photos i don't think it's anything to do with being pinhead i'm not
Starting point is 01:23:04 it's it's it's staggering it really is i'm not grossed out by it but i had no idea no idea that this was a thing yeah that's astonishing it's astonishing and they used when you had a double mastectomy they used to just take everything and leave you flat so now they can spare your nipples, but long story, you don't want to spare your nipples, it's too much of a hassle. They can, so they just put a bag in there and they spared the skin.
Starting point is 01:23:36 And then now they can do that. Because you don't want just an implant with no fat around it because that's what I have right now and it looks so weird. It just looks like droopy. No, it looks like Sopranos tits. Like, you know when you go to the, to his strip club and like, oh, he knows exactly
Starting point is 01:23:53 like those hard early 2000 tits. That's what I have right now. The Bada Bing. The Bada Bing. Yeah. It's like I could work at the Bada Bing. My current set of tits.
Starting point is 01:24:06 So I'm going to get some like naturals again. Well, let me know if you're working at the bad Bada bing. You got it. I'll come and give you some dollar bills. Thank you. The oldest stripper with my deep flap cancer tits. How depressing. Gah scars and shit.
Starting point is 01:24:23 The only white chicken, New Jersey with black boobs. I think you'll. Come and see me The only white girl in New Jersey was like me I think you'll do well That'd be so great You and this is tomorrow Yeah dude
Starting point is 01:24:36 You're awfully kind of What the fuck are you doing Talking to me Blood Because fam Blood Ten hours Bro I know homie
Starting point is 01:24:44 I'm glad What are you thinking Fam Fum listen If I'm if I'm not here talking to you mate mate I'm Australian again
Starting point is 01:24:52 If I'm not if I'm not here Talking to you I'm home fucking pacing the floors. And I don't want to fucking do that, bro. I'd rather be here trying to be funny and getting out of my own head. And then I'll take some Xanax later.
Starting point is 01:25:04 I understand that girl, yeah? Yeah, yeah. Fucking hell. You're fucking hell is right. I was like Irish. Do it again? Fucking hell. No, I was doing Liverpool.
Starting point is 01:25:14 Fucking hell. Fucking hell. Fucking hell, girl. Fucking hell, girl. Yeah, 10 hours. 10 hours, two surgeons. And it's a micro surgery. So my...
Starting point is 01:25:22 Do they... One take over from the other? They can't. They tag team, bro. They have to. They tag team my tits. Sharing the driver. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:31 Well, one of them, my top surgeon, she'll do it with like special, I guess, micro-whatever goggles so they can connect the blood vessels. God. It is wild, fam. I know. I know I want to start an only fan's page just so I can show people my deep flap tits. The only way that you would really impress Pennhead would be if you would be if you we're going to be conscious throughout.
Starting point is 01:25:58 Our suffering will be legendary. Jesus wept. Oh, the pain. The suffering. The sweet, sweet suffering. All right, on that note, Fab, I love you, you're the best. Shout out to Sage, shout out to Steph. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 01:26:14 I love you, you guys. All right, I'll see you next time with my new black tits. Bye, guys. Bye. You did this, look what you've done, you pushed and pushed, and now it's come to this. It's maddening and it's all your fault. You ask for it. So here it is. You deserve it. All the kicks that screams, the blood. It's all for you, all for you, all for you, all for you, all for you. What did you think would happen?
Starting point is 01:27:02 Will you walk again, talk again? We hope not. Will I drop it on your head? Can a knife punch on your side? I have a bat that would like to meet your face. You deserve it all. It's all for you. Your smile doesn't fool us.
Starting point is 01:27:16 We watch you flare in the deep water. That's for you grass for air. We chatted, kick and push. You fight it to live. So we push you under again. I try to make it work. I listened and I gave you chances, but you wanted something else. I feel with glee as your inside smell.
Starting point is 01:27:32 This fist is for you. This blade is for you. Now you do a post. Watch the birds eat away. You put up in flames. You suffer finally. I did it all for you. Off for you.
Starting point is 01:27:44 Off of you. Off of you. Offer you. You can do it. That was so good and how hard that was. I'm proud of it. I'm proud of it. I'm proud of it.
Starting point is 01:28:10 Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Lucy is just like high. My cheek is signal my cheek's rude bit with teeth from my teeth. With teeth from my eye My master is upset And I don't know why Is it something I did
Starting point is 01:28:30 Is it something I said Daily shame Embarrassed myself Noving and dread Sorry sorry sorry Afraid afraid afraid Afraid to be sorry Sorry to be afraid
Starting point is 01:28:41 Wake a panic Here's my breakfast Invalanche school besie After some thought It all becomes clear I'm the dog fucking idiot That's a ball year I put the wrong drops
Starting point is 01:28:51 I'm only out a bomb Those are just two things I do very wrong It's not your fault That you wished I would die I'm just an outside Don't keep shit in the inside I'm all out of words
Starting point is 01:29:03 Nothing else to do So to apologize For being an innocent I'll breathe in you I'm sorry Mr. Tom I do better Do better Do better
Starting point is 01:29:13 Do better Do better I'm proud of you.

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