Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Hellraiser Or Hilarious w/ Doug Bradley (Pinhead) | Your Mom's House Ep. 824
Episode Date: August 20, 2025Let us know what your favorite Your Mom’s House moment is by submitting a video recording to yourmomspodcast@gmail.com Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPO...NSORS: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/YMH and use code YMH! #viiaparter We have such sights to show you! This week, Christina P sits down with horror icon Doug Bradley, the legendary actor behind Hellraiser’s Pinhead, for a conversation that’s equal parts creepy, funny, and surprisingly tender. Doug dives into the origins of Pinhead’s terrifying look, the philosophy behind horror villains, and what it’s like when strangers recognize him as the guy who tormented their nightmares.Christina presses Doug on whether BDSM aesthetics became mainstream thanks to Cenobites, and if he’s ever had to explain his career choices at awkward family dinners. Doug also shares behind-the-scenes stories of low-budget chaos, midnight makeup chair marathons, and how becoming a horror icon changed his life in ways he never saw coming. With frequent detours into absurdity Doug also proves he’s not just a master of horror—he’s got comedy chops too. This episode is a once-in-a-lifetime crossover of YMH filth and horror royalty...missing it would be a waste of good suffering. Your Mom’s House Ep. 824 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:11 - Let The Conversation Begin 00:04:08 - Opening Clip: Anybody Want These Sandals? 00:05:43 - Clip: Mr. Big Praises Christina 00:07:15 - Photos Of Pinhead 00:14:17 - Pinhead Takes The MTV Movie Awards 00:20:35 - Basic Questions 00:23:19 - Clive Barker 00:31:27 - Behind The Mask 00:38:06 - Hellraiser 00:46:20 - The Origins Of The Cenobites' Names 00:55:41 - Hellbound & Horny 01:03:41 - Master Of Accents 01:14:02 - Arsenal Fans & Doug Bradley's YouTube Page 01:21:14 - Mommy's New Boobs 01:27:08 - Closing Song - "Feel The Pain" by Mark Price Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Hi, mommies, hi jeans.
It's me the main mommy.
Tommy Salami is still filming in Jumexico.
He's filming a movie.
So I have a co-host with me today that I am so stoked.
You guys don't even know what you're in for.
Please welcome Doug Bradley today as my co-host.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Hello, hello, hello.
Hi.
It's a great pleasure to be here.
I love you.
I am so thrilled that you and your wife came to Austin just to do this.
I really appreciate you.
Well, thank you for inviting us.
And, you know, it's a pleasure to be here.
And as a very wise man once said,
oh, let the conversation begin.
Yes.
Yes.
I bet you didn't know.
Pinhead is a mommy.
You do now.
Let the conversation begin.
Who do you think's creepier, Pinhead or Garthbert?
Who's killed more people?
Well, Penna, well, other than wiping out an entire nightclub
full of people in Hellraiser 3,
his known kill count on screen isn't that high, really.
We'll talk about that.
Yeah.
I agree.
There's a, well, I have so much to get into.
I don't know.
I mean, with Garth, for me, it was back in the dead.
because I get asked quite often at Q&A's, you know,
and interviews and fans generally about what music I like
and what I listen to.
And I always say it's easier to define myself by what I don't like
and what I don't listen to.
And in trying to make a distinction between being a huge country music fan,
but it was at the time that the new corporate,
Nashville sound was emerging and I called it Big Hat Country and Garth was the poster boy
of Big Hat Country for me so I used to say you know like Garth Brooks no wow um and I mean I
don't I don't what's um friends in low places that's him right yeah I've got friends
But I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't hum it to you, and I couldn't name really any other Garth Brooks songs.
And then I'm not sure of the, I'm not sure of the chronology as to, as to when I got shown the Facebook clip, which was so weird in so many ways, not least because he gave the impression that someone had just introduced him to the idea of,
Facebook and he'd never heard of it before can we do we have it can we just and then and then I'll
do the opening clip I know what you're saying this phony this this this faked surprise oh what
Facebook what a great idea why didn't nobody think of this let's watch it again just for old time
sake so creepy I guess it's official I guess it's official I'm now on Facebook I really wasn't sure
about this at the start and a friend of mine said something they just made all kinds of sense
she said think of it more as a conversation
I like that
I like that
I like that
I like that
I like that
well that's
that's amazing here
this is a great segue
I really like that
yeah let's get into the opening clip
because I really like that too
let the conversation
anybody want these old sandals
you can have them
if you want them
I don't want them no more
I plan on to give me some more sandals
oh and also
they talk about
I'm going to borrow a brist drink too.
Oh, well, I'm sold.
Nice long intro
Oh, oh, hold on.
Now, I'm disrobing.
Please, please.
Show us your shirt.
It's so beautiful.
You must.
I only wore the over shirt for the purposes of the reveal.
It was such a good reveal, by the way.
I had no idea.
You wore a denim shirt, too, to really pay homage.
Now, as you know, Doug, you're a huge fan of sex in the city, I'm assuming.
Oh, sure.
You're clearly a Miranda.
But anyway, apparently, you know the guy that plays Mr. Big?
No.
Okay.
He's so hot.
I see you're gonna like him well he's like super into me yeah here here it is he found out that like
i guess tom isn't here he's super cute okay ready he sent me this video it's so weird okay christina
you have a podcast it's called your mom's house uh you're doing it well without your husband tom
she's killing it with her goth style goth music the cure always a great one she's sexy loves goth music
so let's keep Tom away from it for a while and see what happens.
You're going to be doing fine without them. Cheers.
Wow. What do you think?
Well, nice, I suppose.
I don't know, really. I'm very neutral on the subject of Mr. Big and indeed sex in the city in general.
I never watched it.
Can I? Oh, well, you're missing out. I watch it compulsively.
I don't think I am.
Can I just point out this is really interesting.
This is very interesting in a celebrity's home
when there's a picture of the celebrity hanging in their home?
Positioned.
Very unique choice, hot choices.
Do you have many photographs of yourself in your home?
I don't have photographs of me.
There are lots of images of Pennhead around.
Let's look at him for him.
I have a sort of, there's steps going down
towards the utility room and basement.
I love this photograph.
And I keep a lot of stuff on the walls and stuff that fans give me.
I call that a museum.
So this is bloodline, Hellraiser 4.
So it's 1994.
It's late night.
That is only water.
We're filming.
had a leotard underneath the jacket so i just you know just dropped it down off the shoulders
oh that's what that is for a little de colate moment deers i was going to say it's the cenobites it's
very big yes so you had a suit you had a leotard under yes the leather heavy what is it like an
s and m kind of outfit which by the way i have to say like let me just fan your skirt up for a moment
because, you know, I've been a huge fan of Hellraiser and Clive Barker,
Books of Blood, all that stuff since I was a teenager.
And I feel like, you know, anybody can kill people, right?
Like Freddie Kruger.
Yes.
And Jason, I'm sure you're friends with all these guys.
I know them, yes.
Yeah, you guys hang out and stuff.
Well, at conventions, I can say we sort of hang out.
I made a movie with Robert.
Oh, Robert England.
Yes.
Yeah, how is he?
Robert's wonderful.
I've known, Robert, for a very long time.
We've made a movie together in the mid-90s called Kill a Tung.
Bring that up, please.
La Lingua Athacina.
It's, there we are.
We shot it in Spain.
It's awesome.
It's one crazy movie.
But it's a lot of fun.
I was playing a convict.
And the reason, and it's Mindy Clark, Zinnis as well,
that's Mindy looking very, very sexy in her outfit with her killer tongue retracted in her mouth.
So Robert was playing the chief screw and I was a...
Oh, I see him.
I was a convict on a chain gang.
Oh.
And Mindy and her boyfriend had carried out a bank heist and Mindy was pretending to be.
be a nun and she was hiding out in the convent, very heavily pregnant, with her collection of
large poodles. And then there's a point in the movie which an asteroid appears and it hits
Earth's atmosphere and it breaks into lots of pieces. She's sitting around a table eating soup
with her poodles who are all perched on chairs around the table and fragments of the asteroid
fly in through windows and land in the soup
and the magical properties of the asteroid
turn all the poodles into drag queens
It sounds like the best movie ever
This is amazing
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So we're in a kind of Priscilla in the desert kind of thing.
now. And that's only like the first 10 minutes of it.
Oh, it sounds, I got to watch this when I get home. I'm going to have surgery tomorrow.
It's completely, time. Completely insane.
Completely insane. And there you are.
Talking of completely insane.
Yeah.
What, so, but, but my point being is that I love Robert England. I love Friday the 13th,
Jason. Let's talk about your other Slayers, Night of the Living Dead.
What's the one the chainsaw, Texas chainsaw?
all these guys are scary as shit right like you don't want to meet any of these rows now what
i love about pinhead and hellraiser is that you brought a humanity to this you know this
really scary character which is kind of cool because we got to see that at one point pinhead was
just a person and there's it's all these great themes about desire and greed and love and
lust and these wonderful human themes. And I find that to be so relatable. Anyway, I mean,
it's a testament to you bringing some kind of human element to this, because this is fucking
terrifying. There you are with Ringo Star. Jesus Christ. That's, you keep asking me questions
and then putting images up. I know, I know. But so that's, I was doing publicity.
for the release of Hellraiser 3.
So this, I think, is 1992, maybe 92 or 93.
And Merrimack's in their infinite wisdom
had decided it would be a very cool idea for me
to do lots of publicity stuff
in makeup and costume,
which I didn't think was such a great idea,
but they agreed to pay me to do them,
at which point it seemed like a better idea.
Of course.
So this is the MTV
video awards when they used to film with David Spade the filmed inserts of celebrities who
couldn't get in because they weren't on the list and they'd pre-film those and then screen
them during the award ceremony and that year it was Roseanne Andrew Dice Clay
Ringo and Pinhead
who couldn't get in because their names weren't on the list
and I'd had my makeup and costume
applied in my hotel room
which was a trip too because on the way down
from the hotel room to the lobby
we're in the elevator going down and it stopped
and the doors opened
and here's a businessman with you know
with his suit and his briefcase
and he stared at me
and I stared back at him
and then he just went
okay
and took a step back
and the elevator doors closed
and down we went
so I arrived in the limo
you know
it's quite an exciting thing to be doing
and get out
the PR girl comes over and says
you know I was so delighted to have
you here today.
It was at UCLA.
We're just going to bring you into the entrance to the auditorium.
Eric Clapton and Elton John are rehearsing at the moment.
Oh, and Ringo's here.
So, you know, I was seven, I think, when the world stopped turning for me for a moment
when I first heard Love Me Do on the radio in 1962.
and huge Beatles fan for all of my life from that moment forward.
So my legs have gone to jelly a bit and came around the corner into the entrance to the arena
and Ringo with this extraordinary turban thing going on has got his back to me.
And he's talking to a couple of guys who see me.
and then they start, you know, to Ringo.
And he turned around and it's, it's one of the proudest moments of my life.
He turned around and he looked at me and he said,
Hey, it's penned.
That's great.
Oh, that's so cool.
And that picture was on the front of the Hollywood reporter the next day.
It was great. And I've said often to fans, you know, who say to me, who apologize because they're talking gibberish or, you know.
And I, my brain and my tongue, Homer Simpson style, completely disconnected.
I just, I just talked gibberish to him.
Of course.
I'm from Liverpool, too.
I do that too.
I believe I actually did say that while I'm thinking, what are you doing?
Did you guys talk about Liverpool?
Honestly, the rest is a blur.
Yeah, he just dissociate.
Yes, yes.
Oh my gosh.
I think we did, but he's not, a man a few words.
Yeah, you know.
He's got to be used to being seen as like an absolute God.
It's arguably the most famous people on the planet or the Beatles.
Right.
No, I mean, I was kind of completely.
Oh, I'd be, I'd puke on myself.
Help us.
If I ever met Peter Murphy, I'd just puke all over myself or, like, Robert Smith.
Those are my Beatles, you know what I mean?
Right.
So what is it like to be?
Comedians, we're lucky in that when we meet fans, they're pretty happy to see us.
I think people, you know what I mean?
Like, you're walking around in this wild costume.
What is that like?
Well, I'm not when fans meet you.
No, no, no.
They meet you as human.
but like I'm saying like even walking around at the MTV Music Awards that's got to feel weird
because you're not really filming a movie it does that that does kind of feel weird because you
you know people aren't relating to me and I'm not in character because I'm it's you know
not doing that but nobody's relating to me they're relating to that image and what they see
you know and all the pinhead jokes come out you know the pincushion jokes let's go let's hear
the darkboard jokes and you know all of that um so yeah and and being in sunlight isn't great
with the makeup yeah oh as a as a goth of you know 40 years or so i know oh i know well because the
uh the foam latex is full of little air bubbles oh and they heat up slowly
and you don't notice the process
until suddenly everything is getting very warm.
Wow.
And then it takes a long time to cool down again.
So, yes, and it was only me and Ringo that day.
I didn't get to encounter Roseanne as Pinnahead,
which would have been pretty wild, I think.
She would have loved it.
Sure.
So I'm going to ask you all the basic questions that you get asked,
40 million times a year.
How long does it take to put on the makeup, Doug?
It's been a pleasure talking to you,
Christine.
It's the worst.
I'm sorry, I know.
How do you come up with your skits, Christine?
Well, early days, it was about five or six hours.
And then it comes up to about three or four would be the standard time.
That's to get into it and then to get out of it at the end.
of a day?
30 minutes to an hour.
You just rip it off.
No, no, they keep it intact because they're using it.
No?
No.
Neither of those things.
And I hated the removal much more than the application.
You have to proceed slowly because basically everything is glued to your skin.
You can't just rip it off.
And in particular, in my case, excuse me.
Oh, my God.
Please don't do that.
Just kidding.
They, I see your microphone over there.
I think clearing my throat is the least of our worries.
What's I saying?
Makeup, putting it on and taking it off.
They got to pay you a lot more for that part.
Jesus, it's just hours of your life.
They used stuff called prosaid.
Prostate?
Prost.
Prost-Aid, prosthetic aid, I think, is the thing.
Wow, look at you.
That's, what year is this?
This is 1994, it's bloodline.
This was movie magic filmed this and gave the impression that this is what Pinhead liked to do.
He liked to, if you watch carefully, you'll realize that I haven't got a fucking clue how to throw a football.
I don't do American football
but they gave the impression
that this is what Pinhead does when he's relaxing on set
He likes to throw a football around in the parking lot
This centibite
No, he doesn't
Who the fuck is that?
Is that, is that?
Oh, that's Jamie, right, okay, that's from the remake
The Hulu remake
Oh, okay
I haven't seen that picture before
So she is a lady
I could never tell what gender that centibite was
which is another reason you guys were so ahead of your time.
You had non-binary centibytes.
In some ways.
I mean, you said I was wearing a skirt.
So cool.
It's like an S&M thing.
Gosh, so I read Clive Barker stuff as a young teenager,
and I didn't realize until last year when I reread books of blood
because I was in a really dark place after, you know, breast cancer stuff.
I was like in the darkest place.
You turned to the books of blood to cheer yourself up.
I don't know what it was, but I was like, I have to read something darker than what's in my head to get me to access that darkness.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like, you have to see something that feels safe to you to be able to deal with those feelings.
And so I was reading it and a friend of mine was like, yeah, you know, Clive Barker, the guy who wrote, it's a gay man.
And it totally, you see it as an adult in a totally different way.
Now, this is very recently.
Yeah, this is like a year ago.
I was like, oh, my God, Clive Barker is a game dude?
This is like Barry Manolo coming out.
You're like, well, now looking, I'm like, oh yeah, he was into like leather bond.
That's probably why I liked it because I was a goth kid and I thought stylistically, it's so cool.
Hey, everyone, don't miss my come-together tour.
I've added a late show in West Palm Beach, Florida on Friday, September 19th.
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York on Saturday, September 27th. Tickets and all info is at Tomsegura.com slash tour.
You'd read the books of blood in high school, you said? As a teenager, yeah. So you'd read
in the hills, the cities? I don't know that one. Okay. Which one's that? Is that, I've only read
the first volume. I don't remember everything. Rawhead Rex. I don't remember running order.
Well, you know, Rawhead, Rawhead racks. There's a little bit of a clue in there as well.
Right. Yes, yes. I didn't put together, like, you know, the eroticism as being gay or whatever. I don't know.
He's not. Is he a Satanist? When I'm trying to ask you about, is that, is he into sex magic Satanism?
Never mind the being homosexual bit. Is he a Satanist? That's what we want to know. Are you a Satanist? Am I a Satanist? Do you get asked that a lot? Are you a Satanist?
Definitely. I worships the devil daily. There you guys are.
There we go.
Oh, he's cute.
I've never even seen an image of him.
I think that may be on the set of Lord of Illusions.
That was a weird night.
I think that may be it.
I was doing a night shoot for Hellraiser 4.
Clive was doing a night shoot for Lord of Illusions,
like a few blocks away.
And they gave me permission in the middle of the night to go and visit.
Oh.
So I did.
I don't think Clive was best amused
because it kind of brought his entire filming process
to standstill.
I know when you show up.
that gear.
When Pin had wandered on.
So you guys have a really interesting past together that I didn't even, I was not even aware of.
You guys have kind of.
I didn't answer your question, by the way.
Oh, sorry.
No, he's not a Satanist.
He's not a Satanist.
And are you, do you worship the devil?
Okay.
No.
I'm, I'm an atheist.
So by definition, if I don't believe in God, I can't believe in the devil.
Good, good reasoning.
True story.
Okay, so hold on.
You and Clive go way back.
When did you mean him?
1723.
1723?
On a Monday afternoon.
Shortly before America was invented.
I'm not sure of the precise year.
It's going to be, pardon for the liquid death noises off.
Appropriate moment.
I got cast.
in the school play. We're at
Quarry Bank High School in
Liverpool.
Ten years before that
John Lennon was a pupil.
I got cast in the school play so I'm
told to report to rehearsals which I did
and met my fellow cast members
which included
Fellamillade.
So, and that's
you know
I've said and it's true really.
That was the day that changed my life.
Clive was already writing, starring in, directing, hand-drawing the posters for his own plays at school,
which the head teacher used to give him permission to take over the school hall and put these plays on.
And I got drawn into that orbit.
But isn't that amazing?
Sorry, just for a minute, that your friends at that age,
are so seminal to who you become like had you not met clive and had you not gotten weird with him
we wouldn't be sitting here today you know had i not met my weirdo friends at 15 and you and they're
like you should listen to this music or you should read this book or you should go here and then
that's how the Beatles met right like in high school uh a lot of people met high school back in the day
so anyway continue so you're with clive and high school that's where you two formed right
Adam Clayton put a notice on the school notice board,
drummer looking for people to be in the band.
Wild, right?
And the other three were at school with him.
And they all said, hey, yeah.
What is it about British schools?
Well, that was an Irish school.
Oh, you were an Irish school.
Yes, you have to make a sharp distinction.
Sorry, yeah.
Between Britain and the Republic of Ireland,
or you'll start a war.
Oh, I know.
Oh, I know.
Oh, that was in 1992 at the unveiling of the Hollywood Wax Museum.
okay so is that not actually me it may not be actually so weird that may that may be a wax dummy in me
I thought I looked a bit weird it looks really good though for 92 the costume doesn't look quite right
oh what is that like to to look at a photograph of yourself and go that's not me and realize it
isn't that's just a statue of me in this wacky costume and this have a slip in it so people always assume that you
are this guy, right? That you are
a torturous demon
from hell when they meet you?
I don't know.
That would be for people
to answer.
Yeah.
But people are, you know,
there's, it's the fun of
the distinction between me and
the character, you know, that's
always there. It's always
there, but that's true for any
any entertainer.
Yeah.
You know.
the distinct
for you
when you're on stage
Of course
With you know
You're the microphone
You are in
In character as
Christina P
And that's what you're presenting
And then if people see you
In the supermarket the next day
You know
It's weird
Which people
You know I've had people say to me
You know
What are you doing here?
They don't have AGB in hell
I eat food
Yeah
Yeah.
Yeah, but why are you here?
It's fucking wild.
I've had people say that to me too.
Like, wait, you carry a backpack?
Somebody said that to me.
Really?
You have a backpack?
I'm like, yeah, dude.
Like, I'm still an idiot.
I'm still just a human.
Yeah, but we just shamble around doing everyday things when.
Farting in microphones, dude.
Yes.
But I think it's such an important, it's such an important function.
I'm agreeing with you, but that's, I've, I've never knowingly farted into a microphone.
It's your first time.
If I feel the need to fart, I'll ask you for the microphone.
This would be the greatest day ever if Doug Bradley farted into my fart mic.
Because then I can show my husband like, see, celebrities love the fart mic, babe.
Okay.
You'd be like the first celebrity to fart.
Is he appalled by your fart mic?
Yeah.
Yes.
He doesn't want to give the people what they want.
I know what the people want.
And I want the fart mic too.
Okay.
Such a fucking bullshit.
What I was going to say is it's such an important.
function that horror has in society and I think you play a really, all monsters and you've even
written a book about masks and the function and right of, say a little bit about that.
I know this book you wrote was based on a talk you gave. Yeah, it started, it started as an
illustrated lecture. And then it was suggested to me that it should be a book, which was
cool because it was always very, very difficult for me to squeeze all the material down into,
you know, an hour for this illustrated lecture. And it was still difficult for me to squeeze
everything down into the book. So I, part of the thing that drew me into playing Pinhead,
in the interim after, after school and Pinhead, and that's, it's the best part of like
15 years in between.
We had done a lot of theatre work together
and we had done a lot of masking work
in the theatre work.
And so there was always a fascination with that process.
And as soon as I got into horror,
it was very much, you know,
those performances that were the most intriguing.
Boris Karloff in Frankenstein, obviously,
and then discovering Long Cheney Senior and so on and so forth.
So in the book, I started by talking a little bit about the whole cultural history of masking
because it seems as though there's not any culture, anywhere, any time, any place
that did not incorporate masking, either in a, in a, in,
a context of war or in a context of religion or in some function in in daily life um and in particular
to elevate yourself out of the human away from the human and in the in the moment of putting a
mask on you cease to be that human being and you you you become the thing that the mask
yes yes to the world it's the image
it's the persona
and that's what persona
means
and then
I talked about how
we tend to talk about
theater being born
in the sacred groves
behind the
acropolis
the groves that were involved in
the worship of Dionysus
theatre seems to be born there
and Greek theatre grows out of that
in Greek theatre every single actor was masked
no actor in Greek theatre ever went on stage
as themselves
and these were fixed rigid masks
that presented a persona
a character and you would recognise
the audience would recognise immediately from the mask
who this person was
and what their function was
and there's also a suggestion
And they always have very kind of exaggerated mouthpieces like that.
And it's suggested that this may also serve the function of helping to, you know, like a loud hailer, project the voice out into the amphitheater.
I talked about no theatre in Japan, which is all masked kabuki theater in Japan as well.
and then I took it into
horror movies
which it seemed to me
is where the legacy gets carried forward
in the 20th century
gods and demons and magic
and transformation
and so I
wanted to talk specifically about
the actor's relationship to the makeup
Lonchaney Sr.
It was like a calling
for him. You know, he made his own makeups. He applied the makeups himself. And no other actor
has done that. You might not be, he was, I mean, look at that. And he did, all of that he did
himself. Are you kidding me? All of that he did himself. That's like so iconic this guy.
And he wouldn't let any of his secrets away. He wouldn't talk about it. And he refused to
answer fan mail. Everything went in the bin.
There are a couple of staged pictures of him with his makeup kit.
It's very theatrical a lot of his makeup because he started in vaudeville and that was where he learned.
You see the picture there of him with the makeup box, which I think you can see in the Los Angeles County Museum.
But that's a staged picture.
Nobody ever got near him when he was doing his makeups.
And then you have, you know, you have, like Charles Lawton playing the hunchback of Notre Dame,
who had a very, very bad relationship with his makeup artist.
And Boris Karloff and Jack Pierce, very, very close relationship working on Frankenstein and also the mummy.
That's Jack Pierce working in his, it looks like a dentist, doesn't he?
It's amazing.
Working on Carloff.
Wow.
Do you realize you're like an iconic monster?
Well, I do.
So great.
I have to.
You know, because it's just because it's incontrovertible.
We all are, all the people we've been talking about, Robert and Kane and Gunnar Hansen,
that late Gunah Hansen, who played the first leather face so memorably and so brilliantly.
Terrifying.
We are. We have left our indelible mark on horror cinema.
I mean, it's very difficult for me to put myself in the same company as Boris.
Oh, you are.
Let me tell you, I had to walk out of Hellbound Hellraiser 2 when I was 13 years old.
I had to leave.
that's how traumatized I was.
Cool.
So cool.
I've never walked out of a film because I was that afraid.
My stepsister and I snuck in.
We were too young to be in it.
I was 13 years old.
And there was skin, was it 88?
It was 1942.
Was it an R?
Probably.
Yeah, it was R.
And it's the first time I think it was Julia coming out of the mattress.
That's a scene.
Holy shit, man.
That's full on that one.
And I've never seen anything like that before.
And then you show up.
Oh, Julia.
Oh, my God.
It still terrifies me.
It's wild.
It's wild.
There's nothing like this.
It's all the cutting of the arm, Oliver Smith, who played skinned Frank in Hellraiser.
He's back for that.
And you've got all of that.
And that's quite difficult to deal with.
And it's only a kind of.
um appetizer for for julia emerging from the mattress it's pretty wild spoiler alert if you haven't
seen this movie came out in 1988 we can talk about it right josh i always get into trouble
but yeah it gets way crazier and i just re-watched it before you came to austin just to re-terify
myself and it's still i think because you have the themes of mental illness and dr chenard and
Castie.
But my, oh no, don't even say it.
Can I tell you my favorite line?
When I really started to love Pinhead,
and I was like, oh, this character's different.
This guy's got some humanity.
This is deeper than just slash bullshit stuff.
You know what I'm saying?
Like is when Tiffany unlocks the box and summons the centibites.
And then they all come out and you're last and you go, no.
And then the lady with the thing goes, no.
And you go, no.
It is not hands that call us.
It is desire.
Desire.
I just got diarrhea having you do that to me right now.
Yeah.
Oh, I got a fart mic.
Yeah, I got a fucking shit in the mic, man.
Wow.
You're stressing me out, Doc.
Yeah, that's so like a...
Oh, man.
You see, what you were saying earlier is very true
because Latherface doesn't speak.
No.
He kind of makes piggy noises beautifully,
brilliantly done by gunner,
but he doesn't speak.
Michael doesn't speak.
Jason doesn't speak.
Freddy does,
but he just calls everybody a bitch.
Yeah.
You know.
He talks some shit.
And he has her dreams,
which is terrifying.
And I've always said that, you know,
if Freddy is rock and roll,
pinhead is a requiem mass.
Yes.
That's where he belongs.
And what you said about what I channel with the character,
that's all down to Clive.
That's all down to Clive.
No, don't do that.
That's, but he, but those ideas of humanity and those, those lines, those resonating lines,
um, no tears, please, it's a waste of good suffering and your suffering will be legendary,
even in hell and we'll tear your soul apart.
All of that, that is all from Clive.
I mean, I'm not engaging in false modesty at all.
Yes, that's my performance and I did what I did with it.
And obviously, I seem to have done something right.
But the material comes from Clive.
I mean, I changed not one word of what he wrote.
And the thing for me was because, obviously, I'd also had a front row seat
for that 15 years
to all of Clive's creativity
Oh
How dare you
I had a belch
At a belch moment
We need a belch mic too
This is the belch mic
The
The
The
The
The
The
The kind of juvenileia movies
That he was making
The short stories
And the endless
endless art, the constant art, the drawing every single day of his life. I saw all of that. And
particularly in the writing, as you know from the books of blood, he naturally has quite a high
poetic style. It's very easy to read. But it, I mean, I would make a comparison to Poe who does the
same thing. But that's naturally Clive's writing style. So when I started reading the Hellraiser
screenplay, the first thing that struck me was how he was kind of almost writing down because he
had to. He's kind of writing in movie ease, which is not necessarily the way that he would
normally be writing. And I was very aware that when Pinhead arrived and started his
speak, I felt like Clive was going, thank fuck for that.
And he was, you know, he was taking the handbrake off.
Let it rip.
Yeah.
So the language he employs for Pinhead is, is completely different from the way that anybody else in the movie speaks.
So I have those lines, that language, that costume, that makeup, you know.
No.
What's your, I mean, it's haunting.
it's truly but you're right because it is such a scene stealer
you just want to watch pinhead talk
you're like what's he going to say what's he going to do is he going to kill
what's he going to do can I ask you like the stupidest question
like Chris Farley type
remember when I
when you were in that band
I feel like that's what this interview
isn't that great yeah no it's it's the fucking
it's the best
go on you can ask me I'm sure stupid question
So, um,
You use the hour one.
I, um,
what accent does Pinhead have in correlation?
Like, what part of England is he from?
If you have to,
because I don't think you're doing like a Liverpool accent, right?
Like, so.
Scouse Pinhead.
I'll tear your fucking soul apart, lad.
I'll tell you now.
You're suffering.
It'll be fucking legendary, even in hell.
it's totally different movie
and everybody gets a pint
it would be yeah yeah totally different
you know what I mean like you know what I mean like
yeah no that's oh I do like Australian
you say well you you go cockney
like like like oh yeah like
like oh yeah like like
like like like you know what I mean like
you know what I mean like yeah
La gavna what's yeah oh for fuck sake
no tears please oh for fuck
it's a waste of good suffering
come on save that suffering for later so cool man we just rewrote this um yeah no i'm not sure
that would have worked no quite so i don't know it's just it's just my voice it's your voice
and it's special i want to share i didn't i wasn't well i mean by definition he's countryless
stateless you know he has no he has no social place he has no he is he is he is
you know he's kind of in abeyance as a being so there's no there's no geographical or cultural
location for him well uh other than hell hell yeah yeah yeah okay hell his address
h-e double hockey sticks no yes um i just want to show this photograph is this you and clive
as babies look at you too and your lovely wife step said this to me right and i thought
this was really cool.
Can you talk about that a little bit?
Sure.
So, it's 1976.
We're in Liverpool.
So I am, it's a, I'm 21.
How about that?
Fuck me.
I know.
So we're almost 50 years on because I turn 71 in a few weeks.
And for those people who know their Liverpool geography, looking through the window,
we're looking out on Belvedere Road.
And it was a point where Clive was kind of ramping up filming on the Forbidden again,
which was a thing that was rolling around for a few years.
And it rolled on for a few years,
that. It started out as an adaptation of Christopher Marlowe's Dr. Faustus, the play, to make that as an
adaptation for a film. Even by this time, it's become something completely different. And we're
in a flat that two people who were both at Quarry Bank and were
part of the group that had constellated around Clive.
This was their flat and they'd agreed to let Clive use a room in the flat, as we call them in England, apartment.
And it was completely painted black and that the circle, the circles on the window,
Clive had put that in there because he wanted sunlight to come in through the window in
with those patterns
and we'd painted the floor
we'd strip the room back to bare floorboards
and painted those
either white
or alternately black and white
what you're seeing
on the edge is
the nail board
as I call it
and this was purely a visual
idea that Clive wanted to explore
in the film
so I have to always think this backwards
he's got a piece of wood and he's painted it white
and he's put a gridiron pattern on it in black
and then at each intersection
he's put in a nail
a big thick like a six inch nine inch nail
big chunky nail
and then
just filming it flat on
and swinging a light
in front of it
so that the shadows
of the nails moved
across the board
like a sundial
but then
developing it in negative
so that
now the nails
appear as kind of
ghostly grey things
the shadows are now white shadows on a black background with a white gridiron
and the shadows are white which shadows ought not to be
and they're moving backwards and forwards on the nail board
that's great that's it it's just it's just a visual idea
it's one of one of the one of the one of the one of the one of the keys to the way that clive
clive works always worked with his imagination there are lots of examples of this
nothing's ever wasted nothing's ever forgotten everything's always in there
so as i say this is nineteen seventy six nine years later uh in no ten years
later. In 1986, we're turning the cameras on Hellraiser, and Clive has anthropomorphized the
nail board, and it's become the character who had no name, who became, you know, known as
pinhead. It's wild. None of the Cenobites have had any named names. In my own head,
they, pinhead doesn't.
It was the special effects makeup crew who gave us the names when they were prepping the film because I'm lead cenobite and then there's, you know, it was chattering cenobite.
Yeah, the chatterbox.
I didn't like that guy either.
The fat cenobite and the female centibite.
They needed names for when they were working on the makeups in the, in the workshop, you know.
Yeah.
Are you working on the lead centabyte today?
You know, it's a bit, so they gave us, the names were their nicknames for us.
That's amazing.
Pinhead, Butterball, Chatterer,
and the female cenobite was called Deep Throat.
I didn't know that.
Which may be the reason why she continued to be credited as the female cenobite.
But so in the preparation of the film,
they had all been talking about Pinhead and Butterball and Chatterer.
And so when we went on set,
those are the names that were being used
and they just
they stuck
so that by
by the time
certainly Hellbound came out
the press were talking about
Pinhead
but
but in my mind
he has no name
nobody ever called him Pinhead
in the movies he was called
a Pinhead
once
that's a different a different thing what was his name as a human uh spencer elliot captain in the
in the british army in the first world war old timey he had a piss helmet when we see him uh
when we see him at the beginning of hellbound it's uh probably in 1921 he's stayed in the british army
and he's um uh he would be the the reason that we see him in
tropical uniform is that he's probably now engaged in putting down the Indian mutinies
in the early 1920s.
There it is.
You get a little clue with the voice on the radio, which is talking in, say, Indian.
That's ridiculous.
There's no such language, but whatever Urdu or Hindi or whatever language it is that you hear,
which is just a little clue as to where we are.
Not English, am I right?
And there is his pith helmet.
There is the pith helmet.
And that's why he's got a pith helmet because he's out in India.
And there would have been scenes preceding this of him in an Indian Street Bazaar making his way looking for the place that he's been told sells Lament configurations.
The puzzle box.
And then he would have gone in, and then you would have had the standard Hellraiser transaction seeing, you know, what's it worth and all of that inside.
Now, we'd had a big bump up in budget from Hellraiser to Hellbound, but then there was a financial crisis.
And as the money was being moved from Los Angeles to London, the exchange rates went crazy.
and wiped about a third off the budget
by the time the money was in London.
And New World couldn't make up the money
that was even talk about postponing, filming,
until things settled down a bit.
But we went ahead.
And so those two scenes prior to this moment,
which really only be...
It's so hard to watch. I still can't.
Only because they, you know, they would have required two sets building and they're only establishing scenes.
Yeah, yeah, you don't need to do that for an establishing scene.
They went, which was a shame.
That would have been nice.
Fuck, I forgot.
It was about him.
Oh, I read the novella that that story is based on.
The hellbound heart.
Yes.
And it's, I didn't even realize this before because I was always like, well, why do these people want to go to hell?
What the hell is wrong?
Like, what's wrong with you?
What is that?
And in that book, The Hellbound Heart, right?
Is the name of it?
They're promising him, they kind of trick him to send him by it.
They're like, he's assuming he's going to get like ladies.
Well, that's what everybody assumes.
That's what Frank assumes in Hellraiser.
And again, the difference to the other movies around at the time are,
Pinhead is not a boogeyman.
He's not hiding around the corners in the shadows.
waiting to jump you.
There's a whole process here.
You have to be somewhere fucked up enough in your head that you, you, you become aware of
the existence of this thing called the Lament Configuration.
And the promise that it's going to give you something beyond.
And Frank has the line, it's never enough.
It's never enough.
and for him that's all about
you know sex and drugs
no matter how much sex he does
no matter how many
quantities of drugs he takes
it's never enough
and the cenobites
the box seem to promise
something beyond
that's Dr Faustus
that's straight out of
Faustus it's straight out of Marlowe again
where he says
it's not it's not sex and drugs and rock and roll
in Elizabeth in England
but
Faustus is saying
he studied everything
he's studied the philosophers
he studied natural history
he studied theology
he studied the natural sciences
he studied everything
and it's not enough
Is that all there is?
It's not giving him the answers
and that's when Mephistophilus
appears and says
I can help you with that
or a price
your soul
and so that's
you know that
it's a Faustian bargain
but so you have to
you have to have the motivation
to want to find
a lament configuration
I don't know how you know you can't
just you know
I don't know whether now you could go on Amazon
I've got one in my
sorry I got one I got it on Etsy
it lights up though
and
you have to
obtain it
work out
how to open it.
Solve the damn thing.
With the right motivation.
It is not hands that call us.
Right.
And then and only then will you meet the Cenobites.
But as you say in the hellbound heart, that's what Frank assumes.
That's going to be horny.
Good times.
What Clive does so brilliantly in the hellbound heart is that what Frank gets is he gets everything.
He gets everything.
Yes.
All at once.
All at the same time.
You know, he's he's coming all over the floor.
boards he's got every song in every song every piece of music he's ever heard in his life
in his ears all at the same time every all the conversations he's been engaged in and and every
conversation he's overheard it's all happening to him all at the same time and he
clive says you know he could he could feel every every breath he can feel at the in his
throat every dust moat on his skin he's aware of he's hyper aware of and it's insanity and he's
screaming and begging for it to stop and then it does and he's lying on a heap in a heap on the
floor um and the female cenobite is watching him in a very rude kind of way
brilliantly described by clive in the hellbound heart no she's just
watching him and she's got
her legs spread
showing everything with these tongues
from that Frank has no doubt
belong to people that she has killed
laid out on her thighs
and she just looks at him
and says so you've
finished dreaming
good
now we can play
or time to
which becomes time to play in in the movies and that's the that's that's that's the
kickstart to the hellbound heart fucks me up yeah right like do you just feel fucked up just
hearing that but it's a cautionary tale and it's also about like the hedonic treadmill that you
can one can get on instead of just being still and being like yeah you know it's kind of like I
want to tell my dad like there's only so many bitches you can fuck it's only so many stepmoms I can
have right you're right that this is the
This is the story of like, it's never enough.
You've got to find peace and calm.
It's not out there.
Nothing is out there.
It's an inside job.
But it's our curse, isn't it?
Of course, we're human.
It sucks.
We always want to, you know, we see a mountain.
We want to climb the mountain.
So we climb the mountain.
And there's another mountain.
Yeah.
So now we have to climb the mountain.
And, oh, look, there's another mountain.
No.
Here we go.
I don't know who has it said that.
What's up?
What's out there?
Yeah.
More.
We'd better build a rocket and go and find out, hadn't we?
We have that, this insatiable cure.
You know, whales, we know, are hugely, hugely intelligent.
I just read this thing about, from studying Wales song, they've worked out this process
that when whales are migrating, they're sometimes not quite sure.
which way they should go, you know, like us in cars before GPS.
Do we go straight on here or do we make a, do we, Fred, do you remember last year?
Did we go straight?
Well, I think we turned left.
I don't think so.
I think we were.
And they will keep this conversation going between themselves for long periods of time.
And they won't make a decision until every whale in the pod.
has reached an agreement which by the sounds they're making
are kind of coming together
and then they make their decision to go.
They're hugely social, hugely intelligent,
and apparently perfectly content to be whales in the ocean.
They come out and breach.
So they obviously have an awareness
that there's this other place up here.
But they don't have the desire to go and build machines
to take themselves out
to go and explore, you know,
there isn't a whale yet who said,
Bob, you know, when we breach,
when we do that jumping up in the air thing,
and all the people on the boats take photographs of us,
you want to go and join them?
No.
You know, find out what they're up to, see what they're doing.
I know.
I know, it's like a reward.
They don't have that.
They don't have that.
Well, yeah, I know.
Someone once said to me, like, you know what the reward is for being a successful comedian?
Just more work.
The reward is for being successful.
You just do more of the same shit.
Do it harder, faster again and again and again.
And yet to your next special out.
Oh, fuck off.
Who cares?
Who cares?
Listen, I want to do one thing with you since you're from Liverpool.
By the way, I think we have to thank your son, Sage.
for hooking us up.
Shout out.
My stepson.
Yeah.
Step son.
Absolutely.
Sage, Shulow.
Thank you because he made you aware of your mom's house.
Well, he made his mom aware of your mom's house.
He was, he was, he's hugely into comedy, massively into comedy.
And he's been listening to Joe Rogan for forever, which I think is, I think is to
wonderful thing because he is of the generation that doesn't read you know he he's of is it
maybe the first generation of Americans who will not have read Tom Sawyer yeah will not have
read Huckleberry Finn and probably never will what what Rogan has done is he's
introduced him to the marketplace of ideas he's introduced
him to this place where people do this.
Yes.
And just sit and exchange ideas in a civilized manner.
So Sage is hugely into comedy.
Well, he's got to come out to Austin.
And also my...
He had started listening to YM.H.
And he said to his mom,
you've got to watch this, your mom's house.
Because the chick is on there.
She's kind of like...
He's kind of a bit like you.
So Steph started watching
And then from time to time
She'd show me clips
Of the craziness
Yeah and that's when we started interacting on
Instagram a little bit
And I was like, no way, this guy's fucking crazy
This guy likes us
I don't think Pennhead had a sense of humor
But he does
Okay, so you're from Liverpool
And I need you to help me
Decipher what's happening here
You think you could translate some of this?
I'll try
Sometimes when I go back to Liverpool now, because they did this survey recently on regional accents in Britain,
and they concluded that regional accents are kind of merging, that they're softening, they're losing their edge.
You know, it used to be you could go from one village to another village, only a few miles down the road,
and the language and the dialect would change slightly.
in an age when 10 miles was a long way
and it was a big deal to make a journey
from there to there
and this was generally true around the country
except in Liverpool
where the accent was getting stronger
was getting more severe
so sometimes when I'm back in Liverpool
I hear people speaking and I think
I have no idea what you're saying
yeah well listen to this see if you can help me
I'll do my best
How do you reckon
How do you reckon
How do I deposit
Press the space bar on me?
I'm tired of
So
If you go back to the beginning
They're talking about football
Okay
Soccer
So the first bit is
How do you reckon we're going to get on this year, lad?
I think we're going to
to Wembley again I think
that's
I think that's the first two lines
and then I
One more time
I
Obviously you aren't going to win
We're going to beat you so
Jordan get a league like at all ground
Right
So he's
He's an Evertonian
The guy in the blue supports
Evanton and the guy in the red supports
Liverpool and he's saying
I think
I think use
And that's
You're going to draw and get a replay at our ground
You're going to draw and get a replay at our ground
Show me how to pause it
Hold on, let Tom chastise me a little bit
Oh, Bell House, Bell House
Bell House is dead
Wow, okay, let's
So we know we're talking about
Football
Yeah, so it's
How'd you reckon we're going to get on lad
Is the first line
I think he's going to go to Wembley again
and then
I would guess
maybe Liverpool and Everton have played
an FAA Cup game
a knockout game
at Anfield
and so I think
the Evertonian is then saying
I think you're going to get a draw
and a replay at our ground
but it's very very very flat and it's very quick
how do you think I'm going to get on that
I don't think he's going to go to Wembley again.
He's going to get a drawer of your ground and get a replay at our place.
What makes you say that?
Because we done it last game, Ba, two weeks ago.
What's Ba?
Bar, I don't know what that is.
About two weeks ago, maybe?
Cause we've done it about two weeks ago.
It might be about about.
Okay, let's go to the next clip.
You didn't park the bus.
You played great.
Parked the bus.
We played football.
Parked the bus is,
that means you
you were being very very defensive
so you're going into the game
to protect nil-nil
to not concede
so it's so
effectively the idea is you've parked
parked a boss in front of the goal
oh got got it got so they can't
they can't do okay got it okay
this is fucking you park the bus
what yeah we do
I just celebrate and my users
just won the world cup because you
Usa celebrating lad like
Hughes has won the World Cup.
You nail that, by the way.
Which, you know, Doug Radley.
They do, that's the thing with Evertonians.
They get a fucking draw.
They think they've won.
You know, that's the truth of it.
They did last season.
They beat us two all at Gooderson.
And they were, no, they, they, it was late on, you know,
in our inexorable march to winning the title for the 20th time.
We drew two all at Gooderson against Everton.
Yeah, you're speaking.
It's like Chinese.
The good old and levist.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
So that's what he's saying.
You've got to draw and use a celebrating like he'd won the World Cup.
Okay.
That was really good.
Try this guy, okay?
You did that one really, really well.
This one is probably the hardest in YMH history.
We're here in clarity because we've been invited by.
very special character. I hear he's a local
legend. He's Irish.
Sham, how are you?
We're here in Kalarni today.
Are you from Kalarni?
I'm from Kalarni.
Born and bread. Born and bread
in Kalani.
So it's a place
that we would know as Kalani.
I mean, I'm not, it's, this is, I'm
out of my depth here.
he's pronouncing Kalani as
Kalani. Kalarni.
Kalani. Bananbered and Klani.
Okay.
With not very many teeth in his head, which doesn't help.
But I think the guy interviewing him,
who is Irish, I think he's struggling a bit.
Well, they all are.
Okay, so let's keep going.
And what's your favorite thing about Kalarni?
To me, Kahn, my best thing,
Chathitin, to me, Kahn.
They've been my better, to me, Kana.
Yeah?
Just again.
Yeah.
Good player.
Good player.
Somebody's a good player.
Oh, you're just a good player.
He may be called, he may be called O'Connor.
I think I may have caught that.
O'Connor?
Possibly.
Maybe.
Yeah.
I wouldn't, I don't, I don't, I, I, otherwise I have not got a clue.
Not a clue.
Check, some of the same, John and Jackson.
Okay.
How well, then this is your regular spot.
We're in a Conner's barrier.
I got Jackson
Oh, we're in our
Commons bar
Oh
Oh, God
I moved around
You moved around a lot
I mean like to shut off
He did what
I don't
I don't
I'm a bit worried
Well that one
Those guys
And there's the haceration
going on
In the background
Oh yeah
On the television
The horses
I fucking hate horses
I know you hate horses
Don't talk about horses
They love
They love the horses
I wish they were all
fucking down
of the horses.
I wish they would all get murdered.
That's an awful thing to say.
Well, I don't give a shit.
What is a horse ever done to you?
They've stepped on me.
They make bad smells.
Well, get out of the way.
I don't fucking like them.
You have a fart microphone and you're complaining about horses making bad smells.
Okay, one last.
Tell me if you can, like, decipher what the fuck is to.
We're always sitting.
That looked to me like a terrible goalkeeping mirror.
Oh, okay.
Pause.
Hold on.
This is
this is North London
This is actually the area of London
that I lived in for 30 years
And it's Arsenal
And the guy interviewing
At the beginning he's saying
Now the North London accent
Has become something very specific
Because it has absorbed
An awful lot of influences
From waves of immigration
The guy doing
the interviewing looks to me
as though he may be of
British Caribbean background
and the guy that's being interviewed looks
as though he may be
of Middle Eastern extraction. I'm guessing wildly.
The guy in the middle is
looks, you know,
English.
And the
accent has absorbed all those
elements. You can hear
Yeah, how he has a very, the guy on the right, the scarf around his neck,
because he's got a very, very pronounced North London accent.
And you've also, a lot of Greeks and then Turkish people coming in,
and they've all brought their own inflections, Indian, Bangladeshis, Pakistanis,
and it's become very much a soup.
So you're getting, you're getting,
like, look to me like a basic goalkeeping error.
You got to hear this.
And I'm, I can't quite, I need my, I'll call my daughter.
She can, she understands this lingo a bit better than I do.
This is so funny, go on.
Now, blood.
He keeps calling in blood.
Motivation blood.
You hear how that's almost like a Caribbean note in that?
Motivation blood.
What's he doing, blood?
What's he doing?
What's he doing?
So blood is like bro.
What did he do, blood? What did he do, blood?
What did he do?
What are they doing in the board, blood?
What are they doing?
I'm not the only man get imagined all, blood.
Everyone's mad here, fan.
You understand?
Fair man come here and waste their money, blood.
You understand?
Every week, blood. You understand? The most expensive season ticket, blood.
We won a London Derby this year, fan.
We all have a London Derby this year, blood.
That's Arsenal playing spurt or playing other teams from London.
Who else we done?
Who?
No one, fam.
This team is dead, fam.
No one, fam.
thumb who's done who who who no one blood yeah no one blood we come here every week we come here
every week so a man go home and away blood so a man go europe for this blood fam come a man go europe
you see that's that's like that's like a Jamaican it's rad i love it it's like a patois right
is that the word i don't even know and it's it's it so it's this it's great it is an unimaginable
melting pot in London and all those linguistic elements have fed found their way into
into the accent yeah it is becoming way more diverse in London wow thank you so much for
joining also just know that Doug does these conventions where you can actually talk to him and
he's so sweet you're so kind with your fans and you spend time with people talking to people
I think that's lovely.
So people can see you at a horror convention.
Sure.
Where am I going to be next?
In September, I'll be in Albuquerque.
Oh.
I don't have my phone on me, so I can't check the dates, to be precise.
But in September, I'll be in Albuquerque and also at a convention called Silver
Scream, which is in Worcester, Massachusetts.
Wurster. Worsester.
Wastor.
That's like an hour out of Boston.
Okay.
And in October, I will be in Lexington, Kentucky.
Oh, sexy Lexington.
Also, check him out on YouTube.
Doug does this great thing where he reads Christmas stories.
Well, at Christmas I do.
Yeah, I love it.
The rest of the year I don't read.
Anything we should would all year or though.
You just want me to read Christmas stories all the fun.
I love to hear your cool accent.
Check him out on YouTube also.
I think you should join TikTok.
I read classic horror stories.
I love that.
It's the thing I've always done.
Steph, you know, thinks I'm slightly mad because I'm always reading to myself aloud.
But I always...
That's fun.
I always did that since I was a boy.
So it was, you know, kind of a lockdown thing, and it was Sir Patrick Stewart.
who gave me the kind of idea for it,
because during lockdown,
he did this great thing of reading a Shakespeare sonnet every day
and going through Shakespeare's complete sonnet cycle,
and he's just sitting in an armchair.
See, there's me reading a Halloween story.
I love that.
Not just a Christmas story.
I love that. I want you on TikTok.
But the first one is a Christmas story
because a pinhead puts his Santa hat on for Christmas.
I love that.
um so uh so those on there and there's also i recorded a a huge cycle of classic horror stories called
spine chillers which you can buy um at the store on my website so duck bradley dot com forward
slash store um ignore the website because it's horribly out of date and i'm faintly embarrassed by it
just just go go to the store i like it you got some is that a severed hand
That's cool as shit
Hey man
I like it
Well awesome
So they can check out your website
And find all that stuff
Thank you so much again for coming to Austin
Oh not at all thank you so much
This has been an
It's beyond a pleasure
It's been huge fun
It's been so fun
And I just want to leave on this
Blood
You also have to understand that these are Arsenal fans.
And, you know, I do seriously think that being an Arsenal fan should be classified as a mental disorder.
They're not normal.
They're not quite right in the head.
They don't perceive reality quite as you and I do.
They do not.
Well, on that note, they're very troubled individuals.
I'm so sorry if you're an Arsenal fan.
Liverpool.
Thank you so much.
All right, mommies.
I, just a quick note, you won't see me for quite a while.
I'm going to have my top surgery tomorrow.
I'm so nervous they're going to take the fat from my belly
and they're going to make boobs.
And, you know, I've had so many pairs of boobs now.
I'm like triple trans at this point.
I don't know what I'm considered.
But next time you see me, I'll have a new rack.
I'm going to go for cute little French girl titties
because they still can gain, you can still gain weight
because it's your belly fat.
But I'll be out for like, gosh, I don't know, maybe six weeks, I hope so.
Next time I don't know.
Will I get big black tits?
I hope so.
What if I wake up?
Well, only if you've got a big black belly, presumably.
What if I'm like, I want a big black ones?
But doesn't mean this.
Wouldn't that be fun?
Or I show her a picture.
She's like, because your surgeon's like, what kind of tits do you want?
And I actually did find a picture of a black woman.
And I was like, but my surgeon's black too.
So I don't want to sound racist.
like, can I just have the boobs, but not the color?
Do these come in another color?
Yeah, can we do this in a lighter hue?
But I really like the shape of these.
What?
But so, won't you have two sort of conical-shaped holes in your belly?
Oh, no.
Two boob-shaped holes.
Can we do this real fast and then we'll get out?
You got to see it.
It's called the deep flap.
D-I-E-P flap.
I'm sorry, I'm asked now.
No, don't be.
You're going to throw up.
Hey, I get to.
horrify pinhead. Oh! This is a dream. Okay, so pull up like drawings or images of it. This
surgery, first of all, it's going to take two plastic surgeons to do it simultaneously. It's a 10-hour
surgery. So they take the fat from my belly because I don't have tits anymore. There's just
bags of, you know, it's just implant because I had a double mastectomy. So they'll take the fat
from my belly. They cut, they carve it out like that. God, it's so hell-raisery. And then they're
going to put it in my tit. They're going to rip the skin off of it and put the fat in my
boob and then zip it up. And then I'll have a few revision surgeries, I guess. And then they give
you a tummy tuck. Sorry, long story short, they'll so, they'll tuck my tummy. So I'll have a
flat stomach for the first time since I was 12 years old, which is going to be really exciting
for me. And you don't gain weight in your stomach again because they take out all the fat cells,
which is cool. I can still gain weight in my boobs because it's belly fat. Yeah, there's a live
pictures does that gross you out or are you immune to it because you're pinhead when you look at
those bloody photos i don't think it's anything to do with being pinhead i'm not
it's it's it's staggering it really is i'm not grossed out by it but i had no idea no idea
that this was a thing yeah that's astonishing it's astonishing and they used when you had a double
mastectomy they used to just take everything and leave you flat so
now they can spare your nipples, but
long story, you don't want to spare your
nipples, it's too much of a hassle.
They can, so they just put a bag in there
and they spared the skin.
And then now they can do that.
Because you don't want just an implant
with no fat around it because that's what I have right now
and it looks so weird. It just looks like
droopy. No, it looks like Sopranos
tits. Like, you know when you go
to the, to his strip
club and like, oh, he knows exactly
like those hard
early 2000 tits.
That's what I have right now.
The Bada Bing.
The Bada Bing.
Yeah.
It's like I could work at the Bada Bing.
My current set of tits.
So I'm going to get some like naturals again.
Well, let me know if you're working at the bad Bada bing.
You got it.
I'll come and give you some dollar bills.
Thank you.
The oldest stripper with my deep flap cancer tits.
How depressing.
Gah scars and shit.
The only white chicken, New Jersey with black boobs.
I think you'll.
Come and see me
The only white girl in New Jersey was like me
I think you'll do well
That'd be so great
You and this is tomorrow
Yeah dude
You're awfully kind of
What the fuck are you doing
Talking to me
Blood
Because fam
Blood
Ten hours
Bro I know homie
I'm glad
What are you thinking
Fam
Fum listen
If I'm if I'm not here talking to you
mate
mate
I'm Australian again
If I'm not if I'm not here
Talking to you
I'm home fucking
pacing the floors.
And I don't want to fucking do that, bro.
I'd rather be here trying to be funny
and getting out of my own head.
And then I'll take some Xanax later.
I understand that girl, yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
Fucking hell.
You're fucking hell is right.
I was like Irish.
Do it again?
Fucking hell.
No, I was doing Liverpool.
Fucking hell.
Fucking hell.
Fucking hell, girl.
Fucking hell, girl.
Yeah, 10 hours.
10 hours, two surgeons.
And it's a micro surgery.
So my...
Do they...
One take over from the other?
They can't.
They tag team, bro.
They have to.
They tag team my tits.
Sharing the driver.
Yeah.
Well, one of them, my top surgeon, she'll do it with like special, I guess, micro-whatever goggles
so they can connect the blood vessels.
God.
It is wild, fam.
I know.
I know I want to start an only fan's page just so I can show people my deep flap tits.
The only way that you would really impress Pennhead would be if you would be if you
we're going to be conscious throughout.
Our suffering will be legendary.
Jesus wept.
Oh, the pain.
The suffering.
The sweet, sweet suffering.
All right, on that note, Fab, I love you, you're the best.
Shout out to Sage, shout out to Steph.
Thank you so much.
I love you, you guys.
All right, I'll see you next time with my new black tits.
Bye, guys.
Bye.
You did this, look what you've done, you pushed and pushed, and now it's come to this.
It's maddening and it's all your fault. You ask for it. So here it is. You deserve it. All the kicks that screams, the blood.
It's all for you, all for you, all for you, all for you, all for you.
What did you think would happen?
Will you walk again, talk again?
We hope not.
Will I drop it on your head?
Can a knife punch on your side?
I have a bat that would like to meet your face.
You deserve it all.
It's all for you.
Your smile doesn't fool us.
We watch you flare in the deep water.
That's for you grass for air.
We chatted, kick and push.
You fight it to live.
So we push you under again.
I try to make it work.
I listened and I gave you chances, but you wanted something else.
I feel with glee as your inside smell.
This fist is for you.
This blade is for you.
Now you do a post.
Watch the birds eat away.
You put up in flames.
You suffer finally.
I did it all for you.
Off for you.
Off of you.
Off of you.
Offer you.
You can do it.
That was so good and how hard that was.
I'm proud of it.
I'm proud of it.
I'm proud of it.
Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Lucy is just like high.
My cheek is signal my cheek's rude bit with teeth from my teeth.
With teeth from my eye
My master is upset
And I don't know why
Is it something I did
Is it something I said
Daily shame
Embarrassed myself
Noving and dread
Sorry sorry sorry
Afraid afraid afraid
Afraid to be sorry
Sorry to be afraid
Wake a panic
Here's my breakfast
Invalanche school besie
After some thought
It all becomes clear
I'm the dog fucking idiot
That's a ball year
I put the wrong drops
I'm only out a bomb
Those are just two things
I do very wrong
It's not your fault
That you wished I would die
I'm just an outside
Don't keep shit in the inside
I'm all out of words
Nothing else to do
So to apologize
For being an innocent
I'll breathe in you
I'm sorry Mr. Tom
I do better
Do better
Do better
Do better
Do better
I'm proud of you.