Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Hollywood Horror Stories w/ Jim Breuer | Your Mom's House Ep. 849
Episode Date: March 4, 2026Come see Christina do standup live! Irving, TX! Denver, CO! Chicago, IL! She's coming to you! Get your tickets at https://christinap.com SPONSORS: - Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to https://liquid-iv.c...om and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://shopify.com/ymh - Visit http://BlueChew.com to get 10% off your first month. This week on Your Mom's House, comedian and SNL alum, Jim Breuer joins Christina P for a raw, hilarious, and no-holds-barred conversation that goes everywhere! From growing up as a fat kid with blue-collar parents, to surviving Saturday Night Live, to raising kids in a world that feels completely upside down. Christina P and Jim talk parenting boys, discipline, letting kids be kids, and why overprotective culture is failing families. Jim opens up about marriage, loyalty, divorce trauma, and why he refuses to blow up his family for fame or temptation. The two also dive deep into cancel culture, porn addiction, gender ideology, Hollywood hypocrisy, and the Epstein era, with Jim sharing jaw-dropping stories from his time inside the industry. Plus Christina shows Jim some insane Toks and other unhinged content we've discovered online. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 849 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:18 - Being A Fat Kid 00:04:20 - Raising Kids 00:08:30 - Opening Clip: Gay Genderfluid Dog 00:14:14 - Woody Allen & Hollywood Creeps 00:20:16 - Marriage, Loyalty, & A Stolen Car 00:31:49 - Really Cool Relationships 00:37:29 - Porn Addiction & How It Rewires Young Minds 00:42:52 - Some Gay Clips 00:47:42 - Huffing Car Accident 00:52:14 - College Frat Boys 00:57:05 - Find The Funny Tour 01:00:02 - Christina's Curations 01:07:06 - Closing Song - "Bite The End of Your Dad's D*ck Off" by DJ Stanimom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Mommies, I am doing stand-up, a very limited run.
I will be in Irving, Texas, April 24th, and 25th, May 14th through 16th in Denver, Colorado at Comedy Vex.
And then Chicago, Illinois, September 18th through 19th at the Den Theater, ChristinaPee.com for tickets.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house.
Hello, Mommies, it is me, Christina Pee, Tim Seguero.
is in California
filming bad thoughts too
but with me
is fucking I'm so pumped
guys put your hands together
for the gym brewer
the gym brewer
how cool are you
you're so funny and I'm like
I'm a little starstruck
keen really? Yeah
wow okay I love you
I love you thank you
I love your silly face
you've got like the best silly eyes
and like
I think it's from
I think it's
just from watching too many cartoons as a kid.
It's just imitating everything I'd watch.
That's all.
Is that it?
Was that your inspiration for comedy?
Cartoons?
No, I think it was being a fat kid.
You're fat?
I was fat.
I was 82 pounds of kindergarten.
And the only reason I remember that is because I had to go to the nurse.
And it was me, Sally Ann Costello, and Noel Garzan,
and three of the fattest kids in kindergarten
and the nurse would come and ask for all three of us.
And then I got on the scale.
It was 82 pounds.
And I remember being in front of my nanny's house
and his older kid was on his bike.
He's like, oh my God, how fat are you?
How much you weigh?
I didn't know.
I was like 582 pounds.
He had to tell someone, but there was no one in the street.
That's why I remember it was 82 pounds.
He looked for somebody.
He's like, I got there's some evidence to confirm the reality.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why were you so fat?
I think, honestly, because I had an Italian, so my parents were really blue collar.
My mom was, my dad was gone at 6, 8, 5, 5 a.m. he's gone.
What did he do?
Sanitation.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, they were World War II era parents.
People think grandparents, no, my parents.
were super late in having me.
My mom would always, like, in her 40s
when she had me,
and she'd have martinis and tell me,
like, we were supposed to abort you.
What?
Because people, they don't have children in her 40s.
They'd have something come out.
They said something's got me wrong with him.
And we didn't, I didn't know if to have you or not,
but I did.
But I had you.
And thank God.
besides your eyes there's nothing around with you
thank you mom
nom nom nom nom nom no so good
no but so they would drop me off in the morning
and the lady
all I can guess is she was Italian
Mary she was like my second mom
I still think of her
and I think because I was just a wild
animated high energy kid
she was just like oh my god
this kid he no shut up
You know, she here
Go have eat a cake
Eat a burger
You're fresh form, my
Honest kitty don't stop
Yeah
And I would get
So I'd go to school
Come home from school around three
She'd got to be hungry
She'd make burgers
Three, four days a week
She'd make meatballs
She'd make cake
Then I'd get dessert
Well now
When I go home
I know I'm gonna get another dessert
And another dinner
And another dinner
And another dinner
So my mom like
You hungry
Like, yeah, I didn't eat.
As each week goes by, my cheese get bigger, my breasts are getting bigger.
I don't know what's going on.
Me, I don't know.
So, yeah.
So that's how it.
Did you have siblings?
Yeah, but they were much older.
Oh, okay.
So you were the late.
So all my nieces, like, for instance, on this tour, my niece, who I've had out on tour,
Every time I go on tour, it's like the therapy tour.
Yeah.
I bring, I bring like, okay, you have issues with some toxic things.
Why don't you come with Uncle Jimmy and we try to straighten the son?
You can sell merchandise something.
Then I had like a nephew.
Oh, you're out of prison.
Let's try to win you back in the line.
There's another one.
Okay, let's try to help this.
So I was super close with all my nieces and nephew because they're all within two years of me.
So the niece that I have
Meet me in L.A.
She's a couple years younger
And I used to bring her
And they'd be like, yeah, you're a niece
She's my niece
It's my sister's kid
Who's like 70.
Yeah. Wow.
Does it work?
Did it straighten them out?
Bringing them on the road?
Nephews worked very well.
The niece did well.
She's doing well.
now. They go through
God damn. Don't tell me. You have kids, yeah.
Yeah, you have kids. Yeah. What do you have?
I have two boys. They're 7 and 10.
And what you're talking about is right.
Like if you don't put a bro, bro, bro, I know.
Seven and 10, put your feet up.
Because that's, this is where you're at right now.
No, really? This is a sweet spot.
So now let's just enjoy this. They're 7 and 10.
Yeah. You're in a great spot.
I'm having fun with them.
Like, I throw them in the car every weekend.
We go on adventures.
I travel with them.
We laugh.
No, it, they're fucking crazy, though.
And if I don't give them activity, the little one will just stuff his face to a snack.
And so are the older one.
Candy, candy, food, food.
Well, boys, too, they need nonstop, nonstop, outdoor entertainment, climbing.
Yes.
Biting.
Yes.
Eating things they shouldn't eat.
All day.
Breaking things.
They just want to break.
You know what we did this weekend?
We just threw rocks.
We just threw rocks.
And I was like, just throw fucking rocks.
And I sit there.
We fed squirrels.
Like my little guy can actually feed squirrels with his hands.
Yes.
In the part, I'm like, just go.
Just get fit.
And I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't fucking care.
I know.
They love it.
They size up trees.
Look, I'm going to get this tree.
And then moms are often like, don't climb.
Let him climb.
I let him fall, lose his breath.
Of course.
You lost your breath.
Okay, it's a lesson.
It's all good.
Well, I'm Eastern European mom.
So I do encourage them to be boys
because I don't want cry baby pussies
to grow up and be soft men.
I don't like this.
So I do encourage them to be fighting
and pushing and playing.
Kicking.
I love it.
I like that.
And strong, yeah.
Strong, me.
And there comes
Kleimsetzi
And we're
You know
Steak and Toslack
You're German
You're Brewer
I'm Breyer
Breyer
What's Breyer?
Brewer
Brewer.
Brewer.
Where's an umlaut.
Yeah, and I say
In the home
You are a brewer
But here
I'm here is
Oe, so you are
Breuer, you come from
Senot, you are Breuer.
I left that place
going,
I am Breuer!
and no longer brewer you will call me broya yeah you went to germany many times i'd love it there
where are you guys from what part i don't know i still haven't figured that out i've been looking at my
dad's death certificate and his dad's step like where are we from no but according to them
i'm somewhere in north germany okay north of germany or northern northern germany yeah yeah i can see that
because you have such pretty blue eyes light i won't see i think sure
If it's okay, not disrespect, once I blush.
Not disrespect, and Mr.
Well, you're from a good European family.
Let's start the show.
We haven't even started the show, really, because we've been chatting.
I have so much fun with you.
You're just like, you're just fun.
We haven't even hit record yet.
Oh, we've hit record.
Oh, okay.
We have to do our opening clip.
Are you ready?
So just like I said, I'm sure your cool parents would have liked this.
So here you go.
Hi.
Can you tell me about your dog?
This is Honey.
He is a gay gender fluid, golden retriever.
Afghan helmets.
Yes.
How did you know that he was gay?
We have another dog named Charlie.
He's about seven years older than honey, and they are completely inseparable.
Well, hi.
Happy pride.
Okay, well, that's the gossip.
Who is Randy?
Don't bring anyone loving for this.
Your mom in the fucking stand.
Welcome.
Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura.
Ha ha.
Oh, man.
How'd you know he was gay?
Because he went, oh, woof.
We noticed he really decorated his area very well.
He was so clean with his sticks.
Could you imagine this stupid is your mom?
this dumb fuck in her stupid shorts
this is your owner and you're like
I'm just happy not to be on the street
he's a non-binary dog
we don't let him pick his gender
because it's his right
that's what it is
and we think this dog is
because you should see how he decorates
this little sitting area
it's incredible we're pretty convinced
it's gay
and he tries to always
you know, take on the other dog.
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Isn't this wild gym?
I think you and I grew up in a different world.
Oh, way different.
We're like way.
Way different.
And what's scarier is how people try to,
than certain people try to convince me.
I'm the nut.
Yeah.
You're an asshole.
They're not.
You're insensitive.
You're not inclusive because you think that this is fucked up.
For the hundreds of thousands of years of like a male bug with the female bug,
a male tree with the female tree and this.
Now we're like, no, it's non-binary.
And I'm not going to determine what my child's affected.
I'll let them pick in at three.
I'm pretty sure my three-year-old's gay.
because when I stick my pinky in there
he kind of likes it
That's how I clean it
And he puts the faith
Oh my God
Oh
You're anti-baby lover
What
That's a baby lover
Yeah
Yeah
That's pretty fucking wild
Well it's also one of these too
Uh
Well we won't go there
No go there
But I'll say this
I'm Mr. Rabbit Hole
I'm always like this
Let's go
And I'll come back
I'm like
Okay
So you notice how
Everyone was transgender.
Is it their kids?
Or did they adopt them to start hitting them when they were younger?
Let's start with Woody Allen.
Okay?
Gets his kid.
He hits his own kid.
Everyone's like, he's genius.
No one's talking about the fact that he...
Oh, get the Chinese kid.
Dumbang, dang, dang.
You ever notice the most biggest people in power just happened?
All right.
I've said enough.
You're right.
I'm a conspiracy theorist.
That's the way I left the business a long time.
ago I didn't see nothing.
Yeah.
It's fucking crazy.
Why don't we talk about this all the time that Woody Allen married his fucking stepdaughter, bro?
Yeah, when do you think that start?
You ever hear the, um, yeah.
People just don't talk about it.
That was, yes, former stepdaughter, okay.
Wait a minute, what about the little Asian kid?
He started tapping that he adopted.
Wait, isn't that her?
Is that her?
That's what I can't see.
I don't have my glasses on.
That's Sunni Previn.
And yes, he, when he was, he was,
was with the wife, you know,
Miss Mia Farrow, they adopted, I think, this child.
Child.
Child. So he was the father for a while,
and then they divorced, and then he was like, well, it's just still kind of hot.
It's kind of hot, and I used to change you, and I used to watch her dress, so
then you can start, you know.
Could you imagine?
Taping that and put her in my movies.
It's like kind of a double win.
And Hollywood still respects me.
Yo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's genius.
He's a genius.
His work is incredible.
He's a genius.
Aren't all psychos work?
Absolutely incredible.
Well, too, and if you look at the theme of his movies, which I do, it's usually the theme
of middle-aged man finds redemption through young pussy.
Neurotic young Jew finds redemption through what?
Pussy?
It's the same fucking thing.
I don't know.
My world is so crazy.
Crazy.
Yeah, and then he's, I don't know.
I guess I'll fuck my stepdaughter.
Yeah.
I'll adopt a girl from China and then I'll bang her when my wife isn't around.
I'll groom her.
And then when she's not around, I'll play my donkey.
I'm a genius.
I'm a genius.
They love playing with their donkey.
They love it.
It's a good donkey.
I didn't know that was inappropriate.
Can't believe I got caught.
I love your donkey sound.
Yeah, don't you find too?
Like all these fucking creeps in the Epstein files.
And like, this is just a lack of self-control, bro.
Like, be a fucking human.
What is this?
Well, that also just shows you how, well, I don't know how far you've gone with the Epstein stuff.
But I was looking at it.
it seems like when COVID hit
a lot of things hit the internet
and there were all these other little places to go
now I knew already just from SNL and stuff like that
just things were weird
tell me tell me I would see
I would see I want to hear this one time I saw a young male hooker
you know what I can't by fact say it was a hooker
allegedly allegedly it was a
a young man and I remember
going home to my wife going
I don't
know if this teenager
was of age what I just saw
like I don't know she's like what happened
he came in and he's like he's walking
down the hall and he's
clearly
yeah
not a
not a baseball
not a
you get the point yeah and he goes
I'm looking for a
Kevin Space's room
Kevin Space's room
Camus spaces
Yes
You know and then you hear like
Oh my god
Is this legal
Like whoa
What's going on
Yeah
Amongst
Amongst other
I just couldn't believe
How the public had no clue
About so many
just so many people in general
it's really it's really
I tell you what Jim
I'm one of those people that I'm a little
naive and I didn't
I didn't really know either
like yeah I've been in showbiz like I worked on
I was not on SNL so I feel like
you really were in the heart of darkness probably
on a lot of stuff
I saw some stupid shit which is why I live here
and my circle's pretty clean
like the people I kick it with are not
we're not doing anything
Right. Mine are still who I grew up with.
Same, the same friends I've had since I was 14 fucking years old and then comics that I've known for 20 some years.
Correct. I know I still have everyone that grew up on the street with me in Long Island.
Yeah.
And then my high school. And then even, I don't even, yeah, that's really the main core.
Because they're the ones always going to be honest.
That's so important.
They're the ones things start to happen.
You know, my friend was like, we've got new shoes now?
Yeah.
Oh, like, wear, like, bright colors all the side.
You're like, hey, I do one podcast all of a big shot.
You think you're better than me?
Yeah, I got that.
Do I really look different?
Yeah, it's a little shiny.
All right.
I know, because your real friends do not fucking care.
No, they don't care.
They don't fucking care about any of this.
You're still, I'm still fat Jimmy.
When did you get not fat?
Um, I, uh, when I started discovering girls.
So this is, this is around.
puberty.
Yeah.
Puberty.
I was like,
I'm only seen to be getting the Filipino chick Josephine who's cute,
but I need to expand my variety here.
That is such a type, dude.
That's so funny.
You just like,
that's such a type.
I know what you're talking about.
It's that one girl who's not,
she's not like unfortunate,
like she's not ugly.
She's not like, she's not like,
oh,
that everybody wanted to bang.
Probably bleep out.
That was a real person.
My was Joseph.
Yeah.
Should we be saying these people's last names?
I know.
Like I already threw out fat people's names
when they were a kid.
They could be traumatized.
They might have,
something horrible might have happened.
I was like,
oh, it's a fat child.
Yeah.
She brought me back to it.
Sorry.
So you saw the semi-hot Filipino chick
and you were like.
She liked me.
I can do better.
Oh, oh.
No, she liked.
me and I just knew I'm like I'm not gonna be able to keep this up I got to step up okay and we never we never
and I was too shy I was way too shy I was extremely shy yeah extremely shy I'm not good with okay are
how long have you been have you married 32 years yeah oh shit oh shit yeah that's why I said you're
where you're at in life yeah tell me once they hit well boys I don't really know I think I think boys are
going to gravitate to you.
Yes.
Because that's usually the law.
The law is...
Yes.
The girls turn on mom in the teenage years.
Yeah.
And then their next plan is divide and conquer.
They basically become politicians and the news.
Did you hear what's going on with dad?
Yeah, when you're not around, I'm just saying, Ma, you might want to keep an eye and now.
He's getting a little crazy.
You know, like, what's going on?
Oh, yeah.
He's always saying thing?
Like, what's going on?
Mom's crazy.
Really?
Yeah.
His package is showing up every day.
Like she has an addiction when you leave the house.
What?
Does she ask you about the donation?
She gives the church?
How much does she give?
Like, yeah.
Yeah, I'm the same.
Like, I've been with the same dude for, like, since before Myspace.
Do you know what I mean?
Like before internet.
Well, so you too, 32.
Me too.
I'm like 22 years.
I was married on Saturday Live.
No way.
Was that hard because you were like famous,
newly famous and young and
here's why it's hard
yeah
it was hard and easy
at the same time easy because it really
she helped
I'm very loyal so before
even Saturday Live
she would go on this journey with me
everywhere so when I was playing
in New York City we couldn't afford
parking in a garage and doing
seven eight sets so she
would wait outside the club
you know try to roll up
on third street, McDougall, and
then I'd come off stage, hop in a car,
and then we drive uptown in New York,
go to you up there, turn it,
and this would go every weekend
until 3, 4 a.m.
And we drive back to Long Island.
We had 200 bucks when we got married.
Same with Tom and I,
literally, which is, yes, that's that exact amount.
And as we were counting the money
when we got married, we were like,
oh my God, we're up to $5,000.
And the first thing we did is get rid of all our credit,
And then we started over.
And my car got stolen.
So when we woke up for the wedding, right?
This is really funny.
The night before, my best friends, we went out one last time.
I still had all my toxes.
And I had my honeymoon stuff, which is really sad and pathetic where we went.
Where'd you go?
So I couldn't afford anything.
and I knew she liked horses.
So one gig I did was this place called
the Rocking Horse Ranch in upstate New York.
It's not like Montana.
Yeah, yeah.
Whereas 10 grand a person and you're eating three meals.
This is family round table.
It's not a honeymoon place.
Yeah.
She liked horses.
It would be great.
So it was like 700 bucks.
Spending a lot for a honeymoon.
It's a fortune when you're...
This is just hope you know what you're getting.
Yeah.
So, we parked the car.
The next morning, I wake up.
And I'm like, now, thank God.
Thank God for my friend Phil the night before.
He's like, you're going to grab the toxins in the stuff and bring up to your room.
I'm like, I'm not...
No one's taking anything.
Who's taking anything?
He's like, I'm going to bring the toxins just in case.
well thank God he did that
because the next day we walked out
and I'm like
No
Is the
Why are we parked right here?
No dude
Yeah yeah yeah
And I'm like wait
Where's my car
Oh my God
And thank
Thank guy he took the tuxes out
And I called my wife that day
I'm like are you sitting down
She's like are you backing out
Like no
But the car got stolen
It's like oh yeah
I don't worry about it
I'm like don't worry about it
I took a car
Yeah
Yeah so
I found it a couple days later.
They trashed it.
They went to White Castle.
They went to dance clubs.
But they didn't take the tennis records, which explained a lot about them.
I'm just saying they weren't into tennis.
That's all they left.
Just White Castle.
That's all they left is one.
Nibbler's.
Wow.
Yeah.
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Wow, 32.
She really loves you.
I mean, for a woman to do that.
She's been loyal, so when S&L came along,
you know, you'd see a sitcom hottie
or a musician hottie.
Yeah.
And I wouldn't think of it
until someone would come along and go,
hey, so-and-so just asked how married are you.
I'm like, are you serious right now?
I could have had that.
But that's all just in your head.
And you go, oh, God, thank God.
I never, thank God.
Thank God.
Because we've had quite a journey already.
Yes.
I'm really loyal, too.
That's, I think, well, my mother would be like, you are too loyal.
We're the anomalies and like Burton Lee and Kreischer have been together forever.
There's not a lot of people that have.
No.
I just don't have the desire.
To destroy your life.
To destroy my life.
Not only that, but I also grown up young, like I said, I had a lot of nieces.
and nephews and stuff.
So we were a very close family.
And the first time I watched a divorce go down,
I was with my sister.
And I saw the effects from my nieces
that were only two years younger than me.
It was like my sisters.
And that, even though I was an uncle,
it was very traumatizing for me to watch those girls.
go through that emotion and I saw it was all from the beginning of a broken home that started
very ugly you know he was I don't know it's not for me to say but like he yeah it wasn't a
pretty picture he got a little crazy for whatever reasons that he was going through in life
but to witness it was pretty intense and then you know there was one other one where
sister and that broken up and the father was never round for those kids and so I the people closest to me I saw the
effects of broken families yeah it's the worst and I was like I would never do this to my kids
fucking never and like I've had the step parents I've had a few pairs now I think my dad's on his
fourth my fourth mom my fourth step mommy I don't even know anymore and like it sucks it's
Never, it's okay.
Well, yeah, that's not great.
So, like, even when I go visit my nieces and our whole life is going over there and we play
forever and then now it's like stepkids are in here like, oh no, I got to, who are them?
Who are you?
Who are these two kids?
Yeah.
Well, not only that, like you find that when they divorced, my parents divorced, and then
they would just remarry the same person essentially, different form, same shit, different
toilet over and over.
they hadn't done any kind of work on themselves in between it.
So even if you do blow your life up,
you're just going to marry the same fucking bitch,
which is what I tell Tom Sigura all the time.
I love you.
I love you, dummy, you're mine.
I will not divorce.
Like, I will never fucking.
Right.
I would, no.
And so how do you guys work out things?
Never.
What do you mean, work out?
I tell him what it is.
It is what I tell him.
Well, because clearly you go through extremely
hard times
especially parenting
yeah it's drag
it fucks up your marriage yeah
who's the good cop
um
you're the good cop
or is he the good cop with the kids
no we switch places on that
but he's more a good cop yeah
he's more a good cop yeah yeah well you're gonna have
serious issues once they're teenagers
because they become more of
uh they they're gonna go to him
to fucking finagle out
like officer listen
that bitch in the other room is unreasonable
she's crazy
you know that
you know that
you see the way she talks to you
yeah you see the way she talks to you
and dad we're always like
mom shouldn't talk to you that way
I'm so disrespectful
you're a good human
you're not bad
you're never best
and she's just like
you see what she says to her friends
I know
I know I know
I know
fuck that
listen but this could have been you
okay
just watch this and see
if this is something
like an apparel
universe this could have been you.
Ready?
Girls, come in.
Yes, daddy.
This is Brenda,
aka Bluefi,
one.
This is Samantha.
Gay Bean,
two.
This is Adriana,
aka age,
three.
I control my three partners
24-7.
Age?
Age.
Age?
And like...
I control...
Well, hold on.
Let's see.
You have to learn more.
My husband is Scott,
who has not one,
but two girlfriends.
We've been together now for over 10 years.
We were married for nine.
We had actually talked about bringing other women
into a relationship pretty often throughout our relationship,
even from the beginning.
And we wanted to figure out how to best make our relationship work.
Whatever daddy wants, daddy gets.
Oh, and she's never had a penis.
She's full-blown.
I met a daddy seven years ago.
Dada.
I actually worked at the same company.
I met Daddy in October of 2023, and we met online.
I have not been in a relationship of this kind.
And me neither.
Daddy was my first real relationship altogether.
So first time for everything.
That's, that's, she was a boy.
She was a boy.
There's no way that voice is real.
That was a boy.
Which one?
Hold on.
These are machines.
These are like, these kids were shipped in.
They had to pick off that penis.
Let's put it out there, put it in the public eye.
We got it.
We're really killing with this propaganda.
Let's go.
Is this a show?
No, this is a life.
This is a real life.
From where, though, because it's film professional?
Hold on, hold on.
Yeah, what is this like from?
What is this from, Josh?
Okay.
They have a YouTube channel, I think?
Here, let me pull it up for you.
Yeah, brought to you on YouTube.
Jim Brewer has a YouTube channel.
And just how crazy they have 40 million followers.
How'd that happen?
Oh, soon we will control,
we'll control all the genders.
It will control the minds of Americans and then some.
Do you think this is the show
Do you think this is Hollywood controlling?
Yes.
Yeah.
This is the propaganda of just bang whoever,
do whatever.
This is exactly.
Love don't judge because if you don't agree with this,
you're judgmental, you're a piece of shit.
Yeah.
I will gladly be the piece of shit and judgmental.
Him maybe, what's it meant?
The female, I don't buy one bitch,
she's a female a whole life.
The one.
Carol, that talks like that.
That was a boy's voice that they changed.
There's no way.
I've been with Daddy Valteria.
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da is my first one of the shop.
And you'll never guess like I get unlimited lattes for doing this YouTube channel at Starbucks.
And if I don't make it on this show, I get to be one of the people that make it because they accept my kind.
But I don't want to change my hair.
I don't want to change my hair.
I like the color.
Dada?
Wait, so wait.
So, Daddy has just these three pigs that he's with.
Who else is he?
So it's these three.
These are my three slaves that volunteered.
There's more.
So, yeah, this is a channel.
It's a show all about people in crazy relationships.
So this was just one episode of that.
Is this where we're at as a society?
Is there really anyone at home bored going, no.
No.
Wait a minute.
This is the show I've been waiting for.
It's a show I've been.
waiting for. You're talking about you. I love this stuff. I love this. I love watching this.
Well, because I mean, I get so disappointed because I get faked out. But I do think these three are
just in like a weird sex thing, right? This is just like some weird. It's a weird. Yeah,
it's called drug them, show them pornography, steal them, mind control them. Oh, that's what's going
on here. This guy? Daddy? This is, this is prefer. There's no way. This is real. There's no way.
Okay, more.
Let's see more.
Do we have more?
I only have this short.
I control my three partners 24-7.
Wait, go back.
I want to see if there's Adam apples on any of them.
24-7.
Their outfits are fully approved.
Everyone is location tracked.
I have access to all of their messages, all of their communications.
They need approval to eat.
Oftentimes, they'll eat out of dog bowls.
This is a copy of the contract that they all have with me.
I was absolutely willing to.
do so. I'm here to serve him and that's
part of my service. I don't worry about
losing my independence. I don't think I really even
think about my independence. It doesn't mean
much to me. So is this like Israel
and America? It sounds like the same
thing. We control
everything the way they trust. We listen
everything they say and we will
determine what goes on with their lives.
Yes, you've heard
it straight.
But honestly, too, I mean,
doesn't this sound like an absolute
nightmare as a man to deal with
three broads and to control them all the time.
And here's what you're going to wear.
I don't want to pick out my kids' clothing.
Why would I want to pick out another adult's clothing every day?
I don't have a desire to control anything or anybody.
My wife spent years trying to control our teenage daughters.
It was a dye zest her.
And just there's still repercussions of her like, oh, my God, that was bad.
It's okay, we're back in it.
We're back in it.
No.
Yeah, no.
These people need to have kids.
Just be, see, I think this is an argument for, like, the traditional life.
Because if you do get married and have kids to deal with in a job and a life, you're not putting callers on girls and calling them daddy.
And you know what I mean?
Like, you need a fucking direction, man.
Dude.
People need a fucking direction.
We all need to live, like, in Africa in the bush for, like, two months to get back to what.
real humanity supposed to be.
Oh, that's a great idea.
There's no chipping.
There's no social media.
They don't know about anything.
They don't, you drop our president's name.
They're like,
Alua,
you know, the guy, the guy.
Hey, hey.
The guy's right here.
We got it.
And they just, they live life.
It's normal.
It's normal.
A boy, girl, he hunts.
She's like putting beads together.
There's no collars.
There's no,
there's no dad.
going, where are you going?
Where are you going? Where are you going?
I put tracker on you.
I know. It's so great. We've lost
our minds. We've lost our fucking minds.
We have gender fluid, dogs.
And he's not that cute. He's not
a catch. That's what really
kills me is that this guy is not a
fucking catch. Well, because what you don't see is
the nine millimeter he's got
under the sweatshirt. That's what my husband always
says about these types, but there's no way.
You think this guy's packing a hog?
Yeah, I mean, look at the happiness in his eyes.
he's just he's so happy and look at her
him her I'm buying for one bit she didn't have an
Adam's apple no disrespect to her
but I have a lot of questions that's all
so much time so much time to dedicate to their
sex lives I could you even imagine having this much time
to dedicate to just being horny it's like it's a fucking
24-7 horny job it's a lot
it's a lot of investment to put in your donkey
and I mean
That's what I mean
It's all you're doing
I mean my guy
He whistles
Once he whistles
He's good for a while
Right
Right
Shang
Pang
Okay
That'll hold me over
For like nine days
Exactly
You don't even have to look at
You go on
It's out a 24-7 cycle
Who can do that
Of like
I'm gotta fuck
I gotta fuck again
I gotta think about
Fucking now
Now I got
I got dress her
To fuck her later
I got to put the collar on
I got to feed her out of a dog bowl so I can fuck her later.
Like, what do we, what is this?
What is this?
Anyway, Jim Berr.
And you watch this?
I don't.
I will.
I will.
I want to watch the gay hockey players.
Gay hockey players?
Yeah, I tell you, I'm really into gay guys making out lately.
I don't know.
We've been watching, you want to see some clips?
Do we have some to show you?
Hold on.
Dang.
Show some clips, Josh.
So you know, just so you know what I'm talking about.
I want you to have some context.
Do you have those, Josh, so on them?
From heated rivalry or just other stuff?
No, just other fun stuff.
Just let Jim see what I'm into these days.
Do you watch pornography at all?
No.
I used to a long time ago.
Yeah.
But that's another thing.
What happens is you, it's worse than heroin, and it does disease your mind.
And what happens is you go, why doesn't my wife like being strangled and have her hair pulled as I put you in the temple?
What is wrong with that?
No, I know what you're saying, because I do think, listen,
am I a Puritan?
No, but I do think that young men are being influenced by pornography
and they don't know how to just have regular time sex.
If you're seeing that, like, in your 10 or 11 years old
and you think that's like the norm, that's fucking crazy.
It is crazy, but that is the norm now.
I mean, everything is sold through sex.
Fuck.
I watch this, I'm really into Johnny Cash, right?
So I saw he had a TV show in I think the late 60s.
And I'm looking at all these shows in the 60s that had musicians.
And they're just singing.
They're just singing.
Right.
It's just like so innocent.
When mom made me biscuits, I love the gravy.
We're sitting on the back porch enjoying light.
And how do we go from that to just like,
I know
I know
I know
my pose
I know
smack it
smack it
put it in there
put it in there
smack it
put some money on it
pull it
shoot it
shoot it
put it in there
and shoot it
well also what's crazy
is that it's sold
as female empowerment
right like if I'm empowered
I should be able to do
what boys do
and I could
suck dicks
just like
and it's like
yeah but that's not really
the
I don't know
Is that what true empowerment is
If I can do things that dudes can do the same way they do them
Is that who we really are as women?
Yeah
That I can be like,
My pussy's so wet, I'm sucking dicks
I don't fucking want to do that though
I'm not sure that's the path for us
No, it was...
I don't know
What are we into?
We're not into that.
I don't, I'm not going to brag
About sucking D's and stuff
I don't know, dude
You and I are like the most uptight people
How are we comedians?
It's you're morally grounded.
Oh, right, yeah.
That's true.
Okay, here's what I'm into.
There's a big difference.
Wait a second.
Just see if you could go there with me, Jim.
You guys, get off your asses and back to work.
Come on, man.
We're taking a break.
Fuck your break.
There's 15 cars here that need to be serviced.
Now get back to it.
Listen here, fucker.
The only thing needs servicing around here is our cocks.
So get on your knees and beg, like a bitch.
What?
What?
What?
What?
Do it.
serious right now.
Bao chikwaw wau
wow wow
wow, pow chikwau wow
wow, chow wow.
I love that.
And I'm into black dudes
doing it.
Do you have any black guys?
Really?
Yeah, I don't know what happened.
We've been watching these clips
because Annie loves them.
He's always asking us to show them.
Who is?
Any are a sound guy here.
Sound guy?
Nope.
He's always into it.
Eddie's suspect to me right now.
No.
Show one.
Let's show one that any loves.
Which one you love?
Any or Eddie?
Any.
Eni.
Any.
Yeah.
What kind of name is Annie?
He makes it up.
He's very suspicious.
Any?
He has like...
That's such a new name.
He has so many aliases and...
Oh, here we go.
This is something Annie said too.
Here we go.
What?
Just give hope and hearts.
Please.
Can someone set up a fart male white orgy for free for me?
Can they invite me somewhere at least?
I still don't get a fart male white porn.
But please, get someone to invite me to a free...
fart mail orgy.
I live in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Please, I'm addicted to the fart male whites, porn.
I mean, I'm addicted to a group of fart males, a white guy's fart in my face.
Please wear jeans and gray sweat pants.
You wear jeans and great.
I wish to get somebody to fart.
Hold on.
Aren't you touring right now?
Aren't you going to be in Pennsylvania?
I am going through Pennsylvania.
I tell you what, I fart a lot.
And I'm at the age where it just comes out.
My crew can't stand me.
Like, they have to be nice to me.
I know.
But I just walk and it comes out and I don't care.
Tom does the same thing.
He tortures all of our employees, the staff.
But I don't even do it on purpose.
I'm just like, my, the strength of the muscles just, I'm 58.
Who are you telling it to?
I know.
I've had two children.
They come right out.
I don't give shit.
I'm why I don't give a shit.
But where is your life?
Think of all the exciting things that you can do in your lifetime.
what is going on in your surroundings that the thing that most excites you is to find a white guy that will fart near your face.
I would say that life is pretty damn easy because you found the thing that makes you so happy.
Like if it were that simple.
Like it makes you nuts.
That's where your freak is.
You're so happy though.
You just see him walking in and you're going.
Oh, God.
Oh, yeah.
did you eat onions today
oh god wow
that'd be great
that guy's so happy
now how is you how do you feel
what is one of your kids
you come home
you come home
and you like unspinosa
kids 14 and he's been
he's found mom's
mom's stash
you said you're the one that likes
washing this
and then tons could be like
do you see what went
now you see what you created
you found your stash
because what happened to me was
I found
We found Phil's dad's tape.
Changed the whole course of life.
Phil's dad's tape.
Now, one of your kids find his tape,
and he's sitting there and there's some black guy farting in his face.
Hey, Mom!
Wait.
Sorry.
Can I just change your mind about Phil's dad's tape?
Do you realize that Phil's dad
J's his D to that porn?
So essentially you guys were jaying your D's to the same porn that Phil's dad
Jay did his D's here.
Yeah, but it was pretty good.
It was like Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and stuff.
It was a whole, we were like,
it's not as good as this, though.
I saw what you had up.
Show him what you had up.
Show him, Jim.
Oh, God, almighty.
What?
I'm already frightened.
What?
What's his bra?
He's wearing a bra.
Oh, God.
This should be the new fear factor.
Can I get one?
I get kicked off immediately.
If this was your first chance, forget
forget bugs and maggots.
Like, you gotta suck the black guy's face.
Any guy's face.
I'm out.
You guys gotta suck face for 30 seconds.
I'm out.
That's it?
I don't even want my hat.
I don't need my hat and I don't need my goodies and my gum.
I'm out.
Listen, challenge accepted.
Here, here, let's see this.
Maybe I needed to switch the tone.
I think I upset you a little bit.
Let's watch this.
Just watch this.
What happened?
You hit a few cars, huh?
Oh, no.
I know how we can get out of this.
No.
Look what she's doing.
What is she?
Are you okay?
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Did you hit a few cars?
Did you hit a few cars?
No.
Are you sure?
Your car looks pretty banged up.
You mean an ambulance?
Do you see what she was doing there?
Was she, what'd she hide under there?
She's huffing.
Look, look.
Look, let's start her to get.
She's hoffing?
Look, dude.
She's got fucking, what is that, disc cleaner?
You hit a few cars, huh?
She's huffing.
Josh, what is that?
She's huffing.
What is that?
Is that how you get high?
Yeah, it's like duster, like computer duster.
Yeah, like dust.
Like, you know when you clean your keyboard?
Yeah.
People like huff it.
Like, you huff it.
But I thought you passed out from huffing that stuff.
She's staying loose.
I think you will if she crashed the car, right?
Yeah, she's dying soon
She's trying to equalize
Whatever happened is just going out in the front yard
And spin yourself to death
Until you lay down and you're spinning for 40 minutes
That's what this is times 10
But imagine getting there without the spinning
Jim, you're not seeing the positives to this
This is true. I didn't see that
Why don't you see the fun?
I don't know how I missed sucking
dry cleaner dust
People did
Hold on
Let's see what
But this is what happens when you have broken up families.
That's a little, that might not be safe to use for consumption.
It was such a big.
This your house?
Oh my.
Dang.
You just want to be helpful.
What happened?
Oh shit.
She's dad, dude.
Damn.
You just saw this chick died.
She just passed away.
Damn.
See that?
He just lost conscience.
And that's why I'm loyal to my wife.
I know.
That's going to be...
I know.
Listen, I don't even know if I'm like, moral.
I'm scared of life.
I'm afraid of stuff like this.
I'm afraid.
I've seen people do this in high school.
This was big in my high school in the valley.
That?
Yeah, like disc cleaner, like CD discs back in the day.
I've never even heard of this.
Yeah.
People would huff it.
Like, I remember one time this boy did it in front of Tower Records.
And then he passed out on the grass.
And then I thought it was so cool.
We started dating like a couple months later.
It's like the opposite of Goodfellas.
He's bringing him through the kitchen.
Here's the table in the front.
You see the guy going,
Yeah.
This guy's, whatever.
But yeah, that was big.
Drinking Robitussin.
Did you ever do that?
You drink a whole bottle.
It's called roboing.
Did you ever do that any?
Oh, of course.
That's a valley.
Were your parents around grown up?
What happened?
Look at me, do you think?
I'm in comedy.
No, the worst parents ever.
Wait, what happens when you drink the whole bottle of Robiton?
I mean, you just get fucked up.
It's like getting drunk, basically.
It's a super drunk.
You might start seeing shit if you take enough.
It's the big one.
It tastes like, extra strong one.
Nasty syrup.
It's like, mm, it's delicious.
Why not just drink the real thing?
Well, because robatustin's got like different chemicals, right?
Like, it's a mix of, um, there's some other shit in there.
I don't know.
It's fun.
The scientific research.
I just, I just never got you fucking tus, dude.
I never went there.
I never had to, I never went there.
Did you huff? Did you do this?
No, I never did it, no.
I don't know why I just always knew.
It was like crack.
I just knew you're not supposed to do that one.
Well, did you guys ever do whippets?
Come on.
Not in anything that would,
that I'd see other people in their eyes
go like, I'm like, yeah, I'm out.
But wippets are fun.
They're very short term and you just kind of wop, wop,
and then you're out.
And then you're out.
And then you've killed all your brain cells,
I have no desire
Once my
You don't get high?
Yeah, that's different
Oh, but you take
If you smoke weed
You're not going
Unless it's laced with something
But unless you're a dumbass
And you bought it from the guy
Behind the dumpster these days
And you're like, oh
This guy just met him
And like
Okay, well here
Did you go to college?
Did you go to college?
For like an hour
Yeah, I feel like you're
I feel like
My mom really
wanted me to fall back on something. And so I was really good, believe it or not, at accounting,
which I wanted nothing to do with. Of course. Yeah. Oh, my God. So I did great. I went to
community college. And I went, man, I'm going to go into acting. I want to go straight up acting
and I'm going to start doing the stand-up again. And I'll never forget this. The guy, I'm failing
horrendously.
Don't want to be here.
And the guy goes,
okay, this is the last day
for anyone that wants to change
their major.
If you don't change it today,
if you're failing,
you get an F, you fail.
If you change your major today,
you get withdraw.
And as he was saying, I got up.
I swear I got, I put my bags on.
Deuses, bro.
And he's going, Brewer,
what are you doing? Sit down.
I went, this is the last day?
Yeah, like I meant.
He thought I was kidding the whole time.
Even in the doorway, he's like, sit down.
The classroom's howling.
True is so funny.
That's what I'm going.
And I walked right to the theater department.
Good for you.
Good for you.
Well, I'm sorry, then I must have been confused because I remember like in your S&L days,
I think college boys loved you.
Yeah, like when you were in S&L?
They did.
That was your jam, like your demo.
People, yeah, they're under the impression.
I was a frat boy.
That's right.
That's what I thought.
But I'm not a frat boy.
Not at all.
And now that I get to know you, I'm like, oh.
So where'd that come from?
I don't.
It's, you know, not until, I don't know.
Just sketches, whatever.
I don't know what you're like, I'm right.
Are you drinking?
I don't know.
Because you did Goat Boy.
Yeah, they just loved you.
I think they're silly.
It was all survival, to be honest with you.
Of course.
It was like peshy.
goat boy and like one or two other things but that but yeah I had this frat boy like image but
I was I was the furthest thing from it who cares as long as they love you and they did so did you
I was going to say it if you were in a frat no if you did this here check this this out oh and I'll
tell you about frats okay you ever done this one oh god oh no yeah dude what a fucking asshole
is there? What is he? It's lime.
Well, I went.
How pissed are you?
I went to, I'll tell you why, first of why, I never had desired to be in a fraternity,
but in high school, Valley Stream Central High.
Valley Stream Central.
Long Island.
Okay.
I didn't know this, but there were.
fraternities in our school.
It was Omega.
It was...
In high school?
Yes. Alpha.
How?
And Omega.
It got me.
I thought it was normal.
And during the hazing weeks, because my neighbor was a haze, he was a head of Omega, he was a hazer.
And he would come over and talk about hell nights.
Like, oh, man, we beat the shit out of it.
Brian McDaniel he last night, man.
He ain't going to be walked for three weeks.
I took off one of his nuts sacks.
I mean, yeah, and we had pins on it.
We're now like, oh, wow, all for a jacket.
So you get to wear your jacket.
Wow, sign me up.
And then another one, they would say, oh, we'd be going to the bathroom.
Yeah.
And they'd be like a million guys doing push-ups in the hallway.
What is going on?
And then they would light off M-80s.
Did you do that, Josh?
Josh was in a fraternity.
Did you do all this shit?
A little less than that.
We weren't doing the explosives and all that, but same vibe for sure.
Yeah.
So you go in the bathroom and in the stall, you're like,
oh my God.
And people are running out.
Like, oh, yeah, it's hell weak or whatever.
I was like, yeah, I don't think I need to be.
Yeah, it's not for you.
It's not for you.
I'm cool.
You don't have to do that shot.
Oh, my God, Ta.
Yeah.
I thought, I don't know, I'm a masculine.
It comes natural from a...
Naturala.
Tell me about your channel.
First of all, you're touring right now.
You should get tickets right now to see Jim on tour,
find the funny tour.
He's got a tour best and everything.
Like, it's official.
Shit is on.
It's official.
It's so official, bro.
We've got two kids on my...
The kid filming me is 19.
It's not wild.
That exists?
You're like, how are you 19?
I'm posting this today.
And I want to...
to make sure if this okay for your storyline?
What?
What's my storyline?
It's like, oh, my gosh, that's very important.
Yeah, it's a cool tour.
That's cool.
That's kind of fun, right?
Being a road dog.
I haven't done this in a long time.
I haven't done it like 20 years.
I mean, I've been around and I've done runs,
but not like 50 cities in two and a half months.
Wow.
Well, you're such a great comic.
You guys really should go see him when he's in your town.
is you're such a good stand-up comedian.
It's so fun.
You're so fun to watch.
Very animated, very storytelling.
Yeah.
Very storytelling.
Very storytelling gets...
Also, you've got your YouTube channel.
Yeah.
And that's another reason.
Like, I'll tar it out and I'd take a year and a half off.
And I work on new production stuff, which I never got to do before by myself.
Isn't that great?
You don't even, like, need the establishment?
Like, you can just do what you want to do now.
I love it.
I love it.
Like, nobody tells me what to do.
Nobody tells you anywhere.
Good for you.
Good for you.
That's so empowering.
It's on powering.
I look at the establishment.
I go,
do you,
are you familiar with TikTok?
Are you on there?
Yes, I got, yes.
You got it?
They took me down.
They do that to me a lot.
You have to just fight it.
I didn't know what was going on.
You got to fight it.
You got to fight the law.
Because you know why?
It's run by the Chinese.
But it's also it's Squaresville.
These fucking dorks on there will report you.
If you make fun of stuff or what it don't be like, oh, mean language, hate language.
I'm like, it's called comedy, you stupid piece of shit.
I still don't know what happened.
I don't know.
Are you off permanently or just in one fraction?
I'd have to talk to kids.
Have your 19 year old.
Have your gen alpha, whatever kid.
They're working on.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
And then we start a new channel.
But yeah, no, I have TikTok, a rumble, an Xx.
an X.
I only present on one platform.
Oh, you're doing the Rumble.
That's a real wild frontier, isn't it?
Again, so I will live stream every Tuesday.
On Rumble.
Everywhere.
Oh.
830, Easter, everywhere.
If you have X, you have Facebook, Instagram, whatever.
Well, I guess it's not an Instagram for whatever reason.
I don't know what it less.
But a live stream, they'll take all the clips and they put it everywhere.
That's awesome.
Have fun.
Yeah.
Well, I like to be on TikTok.
I like to highlight the marginalized communities.
So these are the outliers people you may not get to see.
Okay?
I love it.
Got it.
Ranking my ex-girlfriends.
Judy, 5.10.
She didn't give me what I wanted.
Gloria, 7 out of 10.
Made really good cookies, but snored loudly.
Cynthia, 6 out of 10, smelled bad, but had a big.
but Janet, two out of ten, strange and licked me 24-7.
Rosie, 11 out of 10, sugar mom, you were perfect and I miss you every day.
Wow, I'm shocked that Rosie won this whole thing.
I'm a little taken back by that, too.
I wouldn't see Rosie coming in.
No.
I'd see more of that, the second one, kind of crushing it, kind of like a sneaky underground
winner.
Well, and the one that was like, oh, she licks me all the time.
You'd think that that would be something here.
he specifically would be into. He just seems like that kind of a fella. He seems like he'd be
anything into any kind of attention whatsoever, even a hello. But maybe that's just my
judgment. My judgment. Look at Rosie. But she does look like she has a good personality.
Yeah, those look at, she's, she's hanging too. It's going down. Bro, you're telling me.
It's going down. I'm starting to get the chicken neck, but she's got chicken everything. She's
chicken in it up.
I know, but you know what?
The secret is you got to stay thin.
So when you have the chicken skin, you got to stay skinny.
That's what the Europeans do.
You can't be fat.
You just got to stay thin.
You can't be a fatso.
No.
Not only just for your own health, but you never, if you're heavy and you get in an argument,
someone don't like you, you don't realize it, but in their head, you're now a fatso.
When you turn on someone, you're like, fatso.
fucking fatso.
You're a fatso.
Gosh, it's like we came full circle.
Like, you're a fatso.
Yeah.
Would you say fatso?
Doesn't matter what your credential is.
You can fucking try me, fatso.
Yeah, yeah.
Whatever, fatso.
It's it.
I just won the argument.
I just destroyed it.
Do you do peshy?
You do peshy, don't you?
I don't.
I mean, I used to.
Yeah.
But what happened is, I said, I'm doing pesci.
And my kids, I'll be out in public and people like,
hey, do Joe Pesci.
I'm like, hey, listen, who's doing Joe Pesci?
What I don't mind doing Joe Pesci for?
Who else is doing Joe Pesci?
And my kids will go, who's Joe Pesci?
Oh, no.
He talks like this, little guy.
Home alone, home alone.
He said, home alone.
You don't remember home alone?
Are you serious, Henry?
Oh, there you go.
Henry, I'm trying to bang this bro.
Help me out.
That's it.
I'm trying to hell.
That's it.
I'm always there for you, Henry, and you don't fucking help me out.
Oh, it's perfect.
And then he says.
Get to fuck out.
of here, Tommy.
Get the fuck out of here, Tommy.
Get the fuck out of here, Tommy.
Karen.
I'm sorry!
Karen.
Karen.
They got to arresting because they want to go to jail.
Karen.
That's so good.
My favorite line, though, is what he goes, and I'm going to come back.
You can fucking try me, fatso.
Remember where he says that?
What's the line?
Yes.
It's such a power.
Off the word fucking fatso.
Yeah, you try me fatso.
Try me, fatso.
You got it.
Okay, I'm just gonna show you two more
and then you gotta go
because you gotta go see your friend Joseph.
Yes.
Okay, two more and then I'm gonna let you free.
Hey, cut.
Here's how you cut your hair end of the road.
I know you're on your bus.
$20.
$20.00.
Never pay for hair cut again.
Chipper, just do this.
What do you think?
20 fucking dollars.
20 fucking dollars.
It's Australian dollars.
Look it, looks great.
Yeah, I look like I'm.
look like I'm ready to join
oasis
do a comeback tour
it looks awesome
fucking perfect
go out there
fight some wallabies
go out there and find me
one them puffers
I ain't afraid of them
little fuck fucks
fucking size up
of me see what happens
with my new haircut
I'm feeling it now
come on you
dopey penguin
I love it
you could kind of do that
if you mash down your bangs
I'm gonna let my
bangs grow a little longer.
And then I'm going to do that.
Because I like that.
It looks so tight on you, bro.
Yeah, you're going to have to know
jihitsu with a haircut like that, though.
Because there's only so
many comments you can take after three
pints. You're like, what did you find?
I fucking head it with your mouth.
But don't you feel like
there's an age where
you don't give a fuck in your levels of it
and people just be like, yeah, but he's crazy.
He's old. Just let him do it.
That's where I'm at.
That's where I'm at. Just why walking and fart.
at the same time.
That's why I'm wearing a Bauhaus shirt.
I'm dressed like a vampire.
I don't give a fuck anymore.
I got sweatpants on now.
In the past, I'd be like, okay, it's just her, so I'm gonna, all right, I want her to
be impressed.
I'll wear a button-up shirt and, I don't like, I got.
Not anymore, bro.
Do I have stains on here?
Yeah, try me.
Okay, one last one, fat so's.
We can let you go.
Fatso.
Oh my God, look at his fatso.
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
It's crab.
You like crab, right?
Oh, my Lord.
I think that's imitation.
That's not the real.
Probably help you wait.
What?
Is she laying down or sitting up?
That's always a good question.
Crab.
Crab.
Yum, yum.
It does look yummy.
It looks fresh at least.
And she can mash it up with her teeth, not teeth.
No, that's imitation, right?
Yeah.
She gave up a long time ago.
A long time ago.
She's sitting because I can see the curtains behind her.
Wow. That's someone's grandmother right now.
All right, would you rather, Jim?
How much money?
Would I rather what?
Hold on. Oh, another piece of crab.
Now I'm thinking that's real crab.
It could be.
It might be real.
Yeah, no, it could be.
Would you...
You have to live with her for a week.
Okay.
Or mouth, just mouth kiss, not tongue.
One of the gay guys with the bras.
I'm going her.
Thank you.
Said enough.
I'll figure it out.
All right.
We'll figure it out.
Jim Brewer, I love you so much.
Thank you for coming.
I wish I had way more time, too.
I love you.
You're just, will you come back again?
That would be awesome if you let me.
Yeah, of course.
I could hang out here forever.
Oh my God.
You're absolutely the best and Tom would love you and we're going to have fun next time.
Have a great time on your tour.
Go see Jim Brewer now.
He's not going to do this forever, you guys.
He's coming to your town.
Tickets for Find the Funny Tour at Jim Brewer.
com and check out his YouTube page.
Broya!
Brewer!
I'm.
I'm sorry
meeting you.
Oh,
don't
sure.
I love you.
Okay, I'll feed
this in.
I love you.
Mm-hmm.
Well,
want you to bite
the end
your dad's dick off?
The end
your dad's
kick off
bite
the end
your dad's dick off
your dad's dick
fight
the end
your dad's dick
off
dad's dick
bite
the end
your dad's dick
smear the
blood blood all over your face.
Bite the dad dick, bite the dad's dick.
Fight the dad dick.
Bite the end, and...
Bite the end of your dad dick.
Fight the end your dick.
Bite the end of your dad.
Fight the end your dad.
Bite the end and your dad.
Demere the...
Smear the blood,
blood all of your face.
