Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Is It Gay To Drink Matcha? | Your Mom's House Ep. 839

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

SPONSORS: - Shop SKIMS Mens at https://SKIMS.com. #skimspartner - Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom Segura and Christina P are firing on all cylinders as chaos reigns from start to finish. Christine boldly reclaims her glasses identity (sparking a surprisingly heated household debate), questionable gift choices come under scrutiny, and the internet once again proves it was the greatest mistake. From rage-filled rants about fake followers and bots, to disturbingly confident accountants, fetish podcasters breaking down their very specific preferences, and viral videos featuring hornets, skateboarding trauma, and shower-time courting rituals, this episode will make you cry m, my baby! Tim and Christine also check out more content from their new favorite survivalist, chime in on a Italian man's scam with his dead mother, and go off about people walking among us who aren't as sane as they seem. Add in fart economics, tactical vests for children, holiday gifting advice, and a deep dive into what really makes something “gay,” and you’ve got a classic YMH rollercoaster. Buckle up, Mommy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 839 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:58 - Opening Clip: Fireside Chat 00:07:19 - Clowning Around A Pazsitzky Effect 00:17:00 - Prepared Not Paranoid 00:28:40 - Lipstick Plug 00:30:16 - Bitches Love A Strong Jawline 00:34:39 - Clip: Fart Fetish Confession 00:39:20 - Clip: Domino's Fart Pizza 00:43:18 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:49:34 - MMA Domination 00:51:43 - Hitler Won An Election 00:58:19 - Italian Mom Scam + Plain Clothes Psycho 01:05:38 - Meghan Markle's Salmonella Thanksgiving 01:08:35 - Crack Is Whack 01:14:40 - A Really Cool Story 01:19:38 - TikToks 01:33:49 - Closing Song - "SooWoo" by Josh Del Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to another episode of your mom's house. I'm Tom. She's Christine. How are you today? I'm feeling great, Tom, because I feel like I've reclaimed myself today. Oh, really? What are you doing? Cleaning my glasses? Your glasses. Funny. Because, you know, I've had these glasses for like a decade and it's like my signature look and then you came into the glasses scene later and you chose very similar frames this is nonsense this is you're making so then I thought you know what I'll let Tim have the sun the glasses shine for a while

I will retreat from wearing mine and now I realize I love these so much I can't I can't let my fear of your disapproval govern the glasses I wear this is just better. bananas you did not start those but now we look I'm sorry I didn't start these no between the in our world in our world I had them first yeah wow yeah wrong no you're wrong no I had glasses wrong wrong I had glasses before you and I chose these frames before but now people are going to think we're like twinsies and that's on you no I had them first you can take them off now You can choose another. You don't have a good memory.

I remember that about it. Wow. I remember. Guys, you've been here, Josh Zolo long time. Who wore glasses first? These particular frames. I can't remember.

No. Look it up. Look in the vaults. I want someone to research it. Yeah, he is fucking right. Yeah, he can't remember. That's right. That's real right.

Silly. Yep. Well, I'm back. Yeah, you're back. It's just absolutely ridiculous. Yeah. I mean, I see me in glasses everywhere. That's because I stopped wearing them because I felt like we were twinsies and it felt super gay and lame and retarded and I didn't want to be all. Okay, enough. Enough. Thanks for the shirt you got me yesterday. Just so you know, I did, I had a thoughtful gift. I gave you a framed photo. Yeah. That was really nice. Yeah. And you're like, oh, cool. And then you go, hey, I got you something. I go, oh, cool. It's a shirt. And I go, great. And then you walk in with a. And then you walk in with a. a yellow shirt. And I was like, that's kind of interesting.

And then I open it up. And you know what it says on it? Retard. In huge black letters. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should look up the company. I should give them a shout out because they're doing really bold designs.

Bold? It's a bold design. It's a yellow shirt with the black word retard on it. That's a bold design. I found them on Instagram and they say a lot of other things. You use an all one. Yeah. And I really like that.

You don't like your gift? No, it was really neat. When am I supposed to wear that? To the gym? Retard? To the H-E-B? Just, hey, I'm a retard. That's your idea?

When you're traveling, our word. Why not? Jog in the neighborhood with it and see what happens. I know what'll happen. I'll get an email. Is this a, it's not, I didn't create it. It's an actual company. I'll look it up.

Swing for the retarded. Is that what that says? No. Yeah. I swing. Swing for. out of it? It's a company. It's on Instagram. I found them.

All right. This is real funny. Would you please wear it jogging once? What do you think? You know, like that guy who you have the story about a guy like that would be really stoked. He might be like

ooh. Interesting. Yeah. It's a bold design you have on. Well, this guy This guy's bold. Let's open the show with this guy. You're fucking retarded. Fuck you, you retarded fat motherfucking retarded fucks.

I don't got any money. I got fire. I got beer. And I got some joints. Hell yeah, dude. You're not getting my friendship if you're going to be a fucking fake-ass motherfucker. Yeah. Listen up.

All right. I lost a lot of followers, but you probably fake-ass motherfucking robots that everyone keeps talking about. Yeah. I'm a hot bitch that has I'm a hot-ass chick showing her boobies and shit. Showing her fucking half her body.

Elle. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone mother to this. He's got a point. He's got a point. So silly. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Oh.

Welcome to your mom's house. Miao, mea, meow. Meow, meow. Meow Fuck you You're retarded fat motherfucking retarded fucks Cool right

But he's not wrong Everything he's like They got weed I got fire I got some beers I got a fucking hat I got some like What else do you need?

You don't need anything else You don't want fake ass friends You don't need them He made it clear I don't care Shas five followers zero posts and it's new

so yeah and then they follow me you want me to follow that shit yeah how about get some other fuckers that have 18 million followers yeah and then send me the fucking hot chicks

I'm like the hot chicks are bullshit they're all fake fucking bullshit man so you can go fuck a goat's asshole actually go fuck a dead ghost ass

Found on the fucking farmer's road And fuck it Fuck you You fucking scamming Motherfucker Fuck you Yeah What I feel is that

He just learned the internet He learned about bots He learned about You know He also I have to say though You know he's like These ho accounts Fuck those

He's real upset Because he But I understand that He's like You tricked me I thought you were into me You're not in me you're fake robots fake lady yeah i get the anger i'm gonna sit here with my fire my joints

my beer god damn dude just be happy yeah i'd kick it with it yeah you're fucking retarded yeah you like that i do yeah you get him a shirt oh for sure dude i'm sure he'd like that for sure listen can i i need to address this before i loses it gets out of my mind yeah i had a Pajitsky effect right before we started rolling today. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Timing is of the essence. Do you want to... Of course. Yeah, we got to address. Yeah. What's up?

I thought, do I get a sound effect? Oh, you get a sound effect? Okay, sorry. Cats eating kibble. Yeah, dude, it's just that big. It's a big deal. What is it? Annie, are you there? Yeah. Okay. Up. Annie.

Where is he? He's got a clown nose on. What? Stop it. You did not show up with a clown nose. Are you wearing a clown nose? It's just an accessory. Fucking relax.

I like the style. Jesus, man. It matches my hat. What are you talking about? You're a real clown, you know that? Not cool, man. You're clowning around. Not cool.

Car full of clowns. Pulled up in your clown car today. Loud music clowns. Unbelievable. Playing their clown tunes. Talking in movie clowns. We're getting so close. So close.

Pull your clown pants up. I can see the letters forming in the right now. Yeah, C-L-O-W-N. I think there's some more forming in there. Yeah, I think so. Okay. You know, if you see a clown car roll up, you can always just pull away from the gas station

with the pump still in your gas tank. Yeah. You can. It'll cost you, but you can. Yeah. How much to replace the... I know how much when Chevron says hey I know you got scared when that clown car pulled up but you did some massive damage to this gas station yeah it's gotta be for okay but sorry yeah what's your

effect man bro so like I'm a little under the weather today so I brought some throat coat and some which is disgusting it's a disgusting name is it really feels like it's jiz yeah yeah they know better they know what they're doing yeah we're like coat your throat yeah throat come. So it was either throat coat or immune zoom. Listen to me. Are you listening? I'm listening. So I came here. I've did the cup and then I go, shit, now it's Sophie's choice. Do I want better immunity or do I want my throat coated for this performance? But then I had a fucking thought, bro. I was like, why can't I have both? Why can't I have? It's not Sophie's choice. Right. It's not binary. It is not Pepsi or Coke.

I can have both things in my cup at one. And that's what you've done? Yeah. Wow. Have you thought that? Have you mixed flavors? In tea? I don't think I have.

You can do that. You can do that. You can make chamomile orange. Mixed berry green tea. You can do whatever the fuck you want. You can do that with juices too. You could take orange juice and put grapefruit juice in it together. You don't have to select one.

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That's A-U-R-A-Frams.com promo code YM-H. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply. You can mix fragrances. That's a real good one. One spray a clone here, different one here. That's crazy. Crazy.

Make people go, what's going on? What scent is that? It's a couple. Who is this person? I blended them. But I'm being serious. Have you ever put two different flavors of tea? I've never thought.

I've always thought pick a tea. And then you got two going. That's wild. That's some communist shit. Now you singled him out there. Well, because any, I feel he and I treat ourselves similarly and that we don't have any sense of self-love or care. Yeah, we don't deserve nice things. have you ever conceived of this have you ever thought of that uh no i think even now i feel like

this is this is a lot like do i need all this yeah we just it's a lot do i deserve two flavors i feel like correct me if i'm wrong but i feel like your position would be that tea is gay is that oh it's gay i'm a woman uh no man tea tea's okay tea's okay well you know why because like shall and monks drink tea and they're tough as fuck so like real men drink tea i mean i don't disagree i just i thought any might be like hell no i ain't drinking no i mean macha is gay that's gay is gay oh mach is gay fuck macha really just yeah just regular tea i like macha what is what is matcha what is this i mean it's made from leaves and everything too right it's just a tea that they've marketed to us instead of coffee which i'm a coffee person yeah macha is a finely ground powder made from shade grown

green tea leaves that are steamed dried and stone ground. Poser. Why? It's pretending to be as good as coffee and nothing is as good as coffee. Yeah, but it's still good. It's not good. You've never had it and I've been like this tastes like poser-ass coffee. Wow. I've always liked it.

And he backed me up. I mean, I already told you, man. Why is it that macha's that? It's just going out. Hey, I said no, macha is not gay. Is it a tea that anyone can enjoy? It has a real answer. The idea that it has a particular association with the LGBTQ plus community likely stems from anecdotal observations and its popularity within certain social circles.

I've never heard that it is gay. Yeah, AI is not there yet. It's getting smart. It's getting there. Yeah. Is Macha truly a gender neutral better? What is going on? Okay.

But it feels gay. But why does it feel gay? I don't know. Because it's a straw. And it's all green and gay. Yeah. Yeah, you're sucking on your mom's tits. Your macha tits.

I mean, I don't know. And then, but what about Boba? I feel like, is that. Boba? Yeah. I don't know what that is. No, Bobba's just Asian. See?

But then where's a line between Asian and gay? Well, I don't think it's like, this is green tea. This is Asian too. It's not Asian. Green tea? This is made of green tea. No, but I mean, like, matcha.

Isn't that like, Argentine or something? It's Indian. Is it Indian? Is Masha Indian? Oh, you're right. Oh, China, China, China. Okay, so it's also Asian.

So, like, what's gay Asian stuff and what's not gay Asian stuff, you know? Yeah, but I think that, what was the other one that you said? What was the Asian one? Boba. Where is Masha most popular? Has the answer to you. Because I feel like Boba, riddle me that. It's for, like, Japanese girls, like little Asian girls like it.

girls like it. Yeah, like Hollywood hasn't taken over Bobi yet is basically what's going on. It's still Asian. But Hollywood took over macho. That's it. That's the distinction. So the Japanese are really into macha. But then when Heidi Klum drinks it, it becomes lame. Or when Guantra starts, it's lame. If you have Asian in you, you can have much. That's fine. Deeper dive. I agree. I agree. I think your assessment is correct. If you're Asian, it doesn't make you gay to drink matcha, but if you're white, particularly a white woman and you're drinking macho? You're gay. Super gay. If you're a white man drinking mantra? You've been

for sure. You're gay, Tom. You're officially gay. I mean, I haven't had it in a while but I feel like I want to try it and see if I feel gay when I drink it. Do you think about your pool dad when you drink your macho? We haven't heard anything, have we? Silence. He's playing

hard to get. Is he? Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what it'll make, put me in a, this will put me in a better mood. Yeah, here we go. Hey everybody, how you doing? Larry here from Prepair, not Paranoid. I want to give you three garage safety tips. Okay.

Number one, make sure the release cord is short so they can't come in there with a coat hanger and pull it and release the door and then open up the door manually. That's number one. Okay. All right. That's good. Number two, many garage door openers have a lockout feature on the opener. You lock that out, it prevents the key fobs that you leave in your car from opening the garage.

Yeah, because somebody could break into your car, hit the key fob in the car, all of a sudden, garage is open, and you got a home invasion. Done. Easy, easy, regular thing that happens. Okay. Number three, make sure you have a good lock and use it. Use your lock. If you want to put a bolt lock in on here, that will help prevent people coming in. what happens is once a bad guy gets into your garage closes the garage door they have all day to work on this lock and your neighbors won't see oh yeah be safe locked people out okay also the insight of lock the door some stuff people don't even think about my mother was so mentally ill about this particular thing this in particular literally the garage door to the home she put a sign on there lock the door so that you had to lock it every time because she

was just as paranoid. She was also schizophrenic. This is prepared, not paranoid. But I have a few questions. Your mom was paranoid not prepared. And schizzov. Yeah. Yeah. What are your questions? Okay. So if you disable the fobs, then what's the point of having them? No, you're not disabling the fops. You're already in the garage. You're hitting that lock feature so that the fob doesn't work while you're already in your house. But what if you forget to unlock it and you leave and then that's a real issue. That's a problem. Because I would. I'd be like, oh, I forgot that I locked that I locked. the fucking bobs yeah and then you're sitting in your driveway like I can't get out of my car there's bad guys everywhere then you just drive away you don't go home drive away you just never go

home again driving yeah don't go home and then he mentions that you need to have a cord that's not too long for the yeah the girl yeah but what does he mean because they can use a hanger I think a hanger could pull a longer cord you know how like how are they getting the hanger you can stick the hanger through the top of the door and then hook it around that that cable And pull it. Clowns know all the tricks. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Is that too mean? That one gave me, that one made me pause. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Yeah. I can't fucking believe where I work. This is my job. Is that too mean? Sorry. No.

Oh no. Should we cut that out? No. You've got to be sorry. My hands are sweating now. I feel like I did something bad. You're fine. Fine.

Did you do bad? Oh, okay. ...allie overmatched first line in offense. Just watch a few YouTube videos and would-be crooks can learn to pop the emergency release with a coat hanger in just a few seconds. Phoenix police told us this is an age-old burglar's trick. They've been seeing it going back 20 plus years, but there's an equally low-cost way to fight back. All you do is you take a standard zip tie and just wrap it around. it around where it connects a quick how to you just string it through the holes in the

emergency release since you're up nice and tight now this cord can't be pulled by the way you might also want to shorten this or remove it all together yeah why not just remove the cord you mean just get a pair of scissors just I'm not gonna figure out take your trauma shears and just trimming that up take it put on your night vision goggles get in there in the dark yeah rip out the string well so now we know your garage is a vulnerable entry point. It's volatile. Yes, situational awareness here, buddy.

Thank you for this tip. Let's move on to the next one. Lock the doors. Take a look at some of these videos. Not every bad situation is going to be somebody trying to hurt you. Right. Sometimes it's just you not paying attention. Oh, shit.

And here are some classic videos to be a reminder. Stay off your phone and be aware of your surroundings. That's true. You will, be safe. That's a hot tip. That is, yeah. I mean, we all have been distracted by our phones. Oh, yeah.

And there's people walking into, you know, open door. Like, yeah, walking in the street. In judoric titty, sometimes those sidewalks are just wide open. I'll tell you the craziest thing about where you don't want to be on your phone is walking near that bike path. But where? In New York. Yeah. The cyclists come by fucking 30 miles an hour and they don't give a fuck.

They will knock your ass out. It's crazy. You're opening a door to get out of a car. in New York and the cyclists come by lying by you really don't want to be on your phone and I think you should do a new video about that well and also I think there's so many scraps of safety he's leaving on the table for instance oh he's not done well I'm sorry I should yeah I mean he's not done but please go ahead I hate seeing people wearing inappropriate footwear in public for instance if you're in an airport and you're traveling yeah you should be wearing clothes toes shoes

should be wearing slippers or flip flops yeah because like and your pajamas you should wear pajamas you should wear your pajamas but you what if you have to run I mean you got to hit the deck he would definitely agree with you yeah you don't want to be wearing your clown shoes when you're at the airport this podcast is brought to you by Squarespace the all in one platform designed to build your brand grow your business and succeed online whether you're selling services booking clients are just getting your ideas out there. Squarespace gives you everything you need all in one place. It's super easy to offer services. From consultations to online classes, you can book appointments, send professional invoices, and get paid all through your site. No more juggling multiple apps. There's a plethora of cutting edge design and SEO tools available to build a custom website that's tailored to your brand or business. With their AI website, builder and a complete library of award-winning website templates, you'll have a customized site

in no time. So if you've been waiting for a sign to start building your brand, this is it. Go to squarespace.com slash mom for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use promo code mom to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Right? Clowns do. Yeah. up. Oh, yeah, they let loose, loose. Timberlands. You don't want. What? That's the style. There's different types. Yeah, yeah, loosening up the boots. I know you get out of TSA and they're all loose.

Yeah, you got to tie them back up. You don't want to leave up. You could have to run at any moment. Yeah. Well, that's the truth. If you're at an airport, yeah, that's a high risk area. I'm sure Sean could have some instructions. Oh, yeah. He would wear combat boots. Well, that's got a steel toe. You can't get through security. He's ready. He's ready for anything at any time. Here we go.

Hey, everybody. Larry here from Prepared, not Power. I want to give you a few tips when you're exiting a store this holiday season. When you come out, if you're not familiar with the environment, take two to three seconds to scan, see if you see anything that stands out. Check in with your instincts to see if anything is going on. Yeah. Yeah. If it's an environment you're unfamiliar with, take.

about eight to ten seconds and give a little bit slower scan. When you scan your environment, scan from right to left, give it a good scan, take your time, and then scan from three to five yards and 20 to 25 yards. I'm going to puke. How will I gauge these distances? I know. Like a bald eagle? So remember, and also not left to right, right? Right to left. Hold on. Let's do it. All right. I did my five-yard scan. How do you know you're doing five? I know what five yards is. And now I reset and I go to 25 yards. Okay. But are you spending eight to ten seconds? No, that was too fast. That was way too fast. Count it out. Let's do it. One, two, three, four, five, six. Which distance are we doing? Seven. Eight. How far are you looking? Well, I'm looking as far as I can in this room. But I did

five yards first. So I'm doing my second scan now, which would be further out. be like top can you get in the car you're like i'm doing my safety scans shut the fuck up this is not a familiar environment yeah that's good advice that is good how crazy would you be if you really started doing this show i mean you should losing your mind hey everybody it's fall it's going to be getting darker earlier yeah and i think everybody should have access to a good flashlight at all time please don't rely on your phone if you have to get your phone flashlight on you're going to look down hit the code and then turn the flashlight it's not a great flashlight you're distracted while turning it on yeah get a good

flashlight keep it readily available all the time okay I like a shorefire yeah I just I like it I like this one you know have a tail cap activation tail cap activation so if I need to open up a car door open up a door move my child carry groceries I still have one hand free free okay to access all the positions that I need. So do yourself a favor. Do youself a favor? I have a whole section on flashlights in the prepared university.

Be well. Prepare university. Fuck yeah. See an accredited university. Also, I'm thinking, I see a little flaw here. He's telling me that to get my phone out and use that light is taking too long. But what about rummaging through my purse? What about rummaging through my pockets to find my flashlight?

Well, that's the thing. I mean, I should have it around my neck. I should have a lanyard. Yeah, you wear a lanyard with a flashlight. Yeah. Or you have it on a belt strap. You clip it onto your belt. So you always know where it is.

It's in the same place every time. There's a great point that you made. And that's the answer. This is still not fully safe. You don't put it in your purse. I don't feel safe. Like a fucking child. You keep it right, like excessive at all time.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Who needs light right here? The tactical vest is for. That's what we're wearing the tactical vest. That's right. What are you thinking?

So I have to put on, hold on, Just to re. Yeah. If I want to go to the grocery store with the children, I have to put on a tactical vest. Yeah. With what's in there. Well, you'll have pepper spray.

You'll have a stun gun. You'll have a flashlight. You'll have night vision goggles. Obviously. Yeah. It's getting darker early. You know, you'll have maybe like a pellet gun with like some, like those shock bags. And then, you know, probably a couple knives.

Yeah. And then you're like, all right, I'm ready to go out. And I think in Texas you can carry all that shit. on your person. I'm sure it's not a problem. I wouldn't even ask her check. I would just do it. And, you know, as for forgiveness, not permission. Oh, yeah. They'd be like, oh, who cares? Well, she was protecting herself. It's fucking dangerous, man. You're at HGD. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Do you know who would love this as our children, though? If we got them those vests with all that shit on it, our boys would love trauma shears, flashlight. We should get them tactical vests for

Christmas. They would fucking wear it every day. Every day. Yeah. That's what you should get your boys. Land your girls, why be sexist? Yeah. You know, you can get your girls this holiday season? My new liquid lipstick. This is the new shade I'm wearing. It's called Cuts You Up.

And then I also have my brand new whimsy kiss, my shimmer gloss. This I'm wearing right now, it's radiance balm and the color stardust. Because why not? Why not shine and shimmer and gleam and sparkle for this holiday season? All available at ChristinaP.com. Try it out. These are high-quality products. I make this an italy.

it's it is so luxurious and so amazed and it's so much better than the dog shit makeup that I've been wearing for the last you know my whole life so I made my own and it's way better there you go um try it plug uh my new special teacher comes out uh Christmas Eve on Netflix so set your reminders please watch please enjoy um wear your tactical vest while you're watching in case somebody chokes well you could be in your house watching teacher and then all of sudden, you know, somebody crashes through the window. So you need to have everything readily available. Also, a reminder, check out the pop-up location of the new Italian bakery, Chichobomba, here in Austin, Texas at 111 Congress. That's the fairground food hall below the Wells

Fargo building in downtown Austin. Thank you guys very much for your support of it. It's been fantastic. So moving on to a nice transition here. Let's go to see what this is. guy's up to face is not withdrawn it's not like sunken in but your jawline is stronger

like your jawline is stronger and you know a bitch is like that they like a they like a nigga with a strong jawline man

yeah I'm looking this and like damn casual yeah wow you can't

you can't see yourself man like hey bro a bitch you you you're a bitcher you you're a machine

on that motherfucker yeah that's me it up so I'm like 144 this morning in that picture you sent to me this morning I'm 140 in that picture yeah so he's an accountant in Miami of course but he's got I guess anybody you think is that cool to say uh I mean it's not but I'm not fucking with this nigga he looks dangerous and scary uh I feel like he does meth for breakfast and he'll like kill you if you have a problem with it so I'm just be like you know what you can say though. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. This is him. Oh, yeah. This guy.

From Fidelity and Associates. We're here in South Beach to provide income tax and IRS services to high net worth athletes and entertainers who have many serious IRS problems. If you do, DM me and we'll get you out of all your problems. There you go. That's that guy. She's traumatized. Yeah, that's him right there. He pinned this to the top of his page. Oh, wow.

What were the comments like? Were they approval? or I see salt but I heard pepper I don't have been this message yeah yeah why'd it come off so smooth though you do what I'm saying yeah yeah why does it come I don't you don't fuck with a white man that says that confidently confidently yeah yeah that's a mistake yeah he did there's no hesitation well see and I wonder this is a very important philosophical problem though is it ever acceptable in your friendship with a black person as the white person to drop the end bombs. I mean, I think that's a case by case.

Clearly, I think his friend is black and had no problem with him saying that, you know? I don't know. I'd be afraid of hurting some feelings. Well, I know, but I'm saying that, like, that friend seemed to have some... Seemed to be seamless. Or is he terrified of him, like any say. Maybe. Maybe it's a combination of the two.

I wouldn't lead with it if you have a new friend. Yeah. No, no. Yeah. Pretty cool. this guy's so cool he is doing some wild shit I can see it's peaky right there

yeah yeah he's showing you okay boca she doctor laying it down yeah he is something else he is

that's my accountant like you're just scrolling that's the guy that got me out of my tax trouble yep that is the guy you want to get you out of your tax trouble this is the guy you hired

to get you out of tax trouble yeah I agree it really is he knows all the tricks all the angles he definitely not He was a confident accountant. Look at that look in his profile pick.

He's giving you blue steel right there. Yeah, he's a fine. He's got a great head of hair. Incredible head of hair. Oh, yeah. Have you ever, I saw one if you scroll where he was, um, scroll a little more. He was brushing his hair and it was unbelievable the hair this guy had. I mean, seriously.

No. Oh, maybe he, oh, he archives a lot. But yeah, he's always with chicks. He looks like a black guy. Huh? Oh, there's the hair right there, though. Wow, look at that hair. That's older a shot, I think.

He looks great. He's a good-looking guy. He's got great hair. He's done it all. Wow. He's in great shape. He knows what he's talking about. Good jawline.

Yeah, look at that hair, man. Look at that hair. He's handsome. He's got it. He's awesome. Oh, wow. I wonder why he cut it because I feel like that's a really good look for him.

It really sets him apart from the herd. Yeah. Especially in Miami. Like, you meet this guy, and you're like, whoa. Yeah. You don't look like every other guy in Miami. No, it's a real unique look. Yeah?

Yeah, like I wonder why you switched that up. It's fucking incredible. It looks awesome. Keep going, Mike. Keep doing your thing. It looked like Jesus right there. I know, he looks rad. Look at those eyes.

He looks like a beautiful wolf. Wow. Oh, wow. Yeah. Intense eyes. Hungry eyes. Dirty dancing. It's pretty cool.

Hungry. Me personally, I'm into receiving. And it's generally, or I would say always in my case, tied with like domination. They're inseparable for me. I mean, it takes many forms. I guess, I mean, I enjoy the, the facetting aspect. So like the closeness of that, which can be clothed, nude. I don't really have a specific preference. As dumb as it might sound, I mean, I kind of prefer, at least in fantasy, the more potent smells. So I guess, you know, things that created gas that was smelly or really tied into the more torturous aspects of enjoying this.

Well, he likes the torture of the bad smell. Yeah. But that makes sense. The way he explained that. Fantasy for me is not enjoying it. Like, obviously, I enjoy it because it is turning me on. But the fantasy is to be tormentous or being tortured. I mean, the strong scent is definitely, like, what I most reach for.

I think it's also the hardest to obtain. The sound is also a factor for me just because the sound is illustrative of how dominating it is. He likes smelly farts I feel like if I could just adopt his attitude Our marriage would be so much hornier Because your farts are diabolical No And especially lately

Lately Yeah They're stinky They're loud They're disrespectful I don't feel like you see me as a woman I don't think you respect me That's pretty

That's hurtful Well it's true No No I just I'm living life And I have been ingesting more protein. And I think there's a, there's an effect on the way out, because that's what you're referring to. But it's like all hours of the night.

Like you'll rip. Yeah, at night, it really is interesting, isn't it? Isn't it something? How at night it really comes alive. Because yesterday, those were notable. Those are, let's walk through them. Okay. they have like there's like a whole story told when they happen now because they go

yeah but the first one was in the bathroom you were standing by your I was I mean I was in the bathroom I was at my sink but my closet's right there so I was trying to get dressed I think for bedtime something like that yeah and it was like long yeah rips rips but you wanted to pull me closer to you no I mean it was unfortunately the logistics of the whole thing you pulled me towards you to enjoy it and that's so fucking rude I think you did I don't believe that's true I remember you walk I want to walk away and then you grab me no you went into your closet and you shut the door you left this much open right right and you were like no and you shook your head you were like no yeah it's just

I think there's a level of disrespect like like there's an acceptable level of fart and then that was unacceptable it was pretty intense I'll give you that it was tipped until like, come on. It was unexpected also. I don't think it is with you. I think you're lying. I didn't know what was going to happen. Well, this, by the way, this guy's name is Raj.

And he hosts a podcast called the Fart Fetish podcast to normalize that within the kink community. He claims from a young age can't pinpoint the exact moment, but he likes to believe it derives from a combination of his parents being open door poopers. Oh, yeah. His family growing up not shy to fart in public or around the house. He also believes it came from his parents being too neglectful. he has to pay for fart sessions he favors a more potent smell when it comes to this

but it's all out there it's wild right there he is oh Raj good for you you know but I'm sure there's a celebrating three years there's a lot of guys out there that want this and 36 episodes he does an episode

a month I wonder what his parents think of the fart finish podcast well also as somebody that's a fart enthusiast you'd think he'd want to talk more about it I know more than once a month. Yeah, like, if it makes your D-hard, why not?

Talk about it every day. Every day. Yeah, at least once a week, you know. Because there's topics I can talk about, you know, all day. Are they fart? Talk about UFOs? Yeah, you really like UFOs. I love the UFO topic.

You've really been taken by UAPs. Yeah. It's the age of disclosure, too. I know, I know. Are you going to watch that doc? Yeah, but I already know it's bullshit, it's propaganda. Yeah. Man's trying to spread disinformation.

I know what's really happening here. Okay. Interdimensional beings. Connected to our consciousness, trying to raise us, elevate us. It's not nefarious. Okay. All right.

There she is. Oh, geez. No. Hey. Yeah. I'm trying to talk. Yeah, I see what she's good. Oof.

Pesa. Pesa? Annie, what did you think of that? Pesa. Pisa. I just love it. It's great content that people put out these days. Pisa.

It's always something. That's a whole lane. But there's no whole piece of bacon on a pizza. It's usually cut up into pieces. This is not accurate. What would you do if you saw your pizza delivery person pulling out a slice and farting on it? What would you say to them? I know.

It's an interesting topic. She's like, here you go. She just gave it back. I might be like, dude, did you just fart on my pizza? Like I may have to confront Because I'm not going to eat it No Or would you eat it?

No I mean Hold on Ooh Jesus A lot of beef Pizza Yeah

Okay but what if you're really Really hungry Like you're starving Yeah you're like Fuck she's finally here She's farting on my pizza right now I might eat it You might eat it

I might take the bacon off, but then eat the rest. Or just at least find that piece. Like, is this one you farted on? Throw that. Yeah. Be like, which one did you fart on? And I'm calling your manager, by the way. That's not okay.

It's not okay. You'd rat them out. I wouldn't call their manager. She farted on your food. But then think of the benefit of that. You could make this person deliver food to people you dislike. Oh, and fart on their food? But they do it to everyone.

They'd be like, yeah, I always do that. I fart on everyone's food. Well, it'll be like, well, can you put a little extra stank on this pizza for this neighbor? You know what I mean? Like, can you wipe your butt with the pizza on this delivery? Yeah. You can make them go farther than what they're capable of right now. Like, I'm looking to stretch this person's talents and abilities.

Why limit yourself to just farting on a piece of bacon? You can go big with this. Yeah. Dude, this could be a legitimate service for fart fetish people. Like a fart domino's delivery. Yeah, higher. It's like Uber Eats. right

yes now you're thinking like an entrepreneur then you go will you pick up my food and fart on it and then bring it chichabamba let's not let's not pollute that thank you

but how much okay but hear me out hold on that's how to you feel I am yeah no you're talking go ahead like let's say you're a fart enthusiast like this gentleman and you're like God

I would fucking love it if this chick showed up and farted on my pizza how much do you think a dude would pay for that well someone Like the guy, I think he would definitely double and triple the amount. Okay, that's a great business. Double triple. I'd say $500 for that one delivery. Wow. And think how much more money you would make as an Uber Eats driver or whatever. Well, maybe you could do a thing where you just sign up for a legit business like Uber Eats or DoorDash. And then in your profile you go like, you want me to add any seasoning? And then you just let them know that you'll do it if you tip right. Yeah. And then gay guys. could have throat coat like they could deliver with throat coat on there oh my god what you don't

think some dudes would love that yeah sure yeah i'm sure do gay dudes love jiz yeah they do it's like their favorite thing it is they love it so much whisper how weird i don't want if they're listening on with them here oh they didn't hear that no one heard it no right no okay guys love jiz don't let them know yeah i think they do yeah that's true that's crazy it's a really good idea for a business if you're an entrepreneur and you're thinking what what's the market not providing exactly we're seeing gaps in the space here yeah we found hold space for me Tom I'm holding space here we go all right I'm filming oh oh oh oh I was into the throwing yeah he threw a

out of Hornetsness. Oh, stupid! Yeah, and then they got him back. Of course, dude. Yeah. You don't mess with Hornets, bro? That guy's stupid. Yeah.

I think he should have been ready to run quicker. No. That was the issue. Yo, I would have thrown that first rock and then take it out. I'm filming. Yeah, don't wait, dude. Run. That's a good throw.

You dips shit. Right there, you should be just booking it. Booking it, yeah, dude. Second. Idiot. screen. Yeah. Well, you deserve that. Why would you want to fuck up some hornets, dude? I know. It's just it's out there in nature. It's not like in the front of your house, right? Because I don't like it when they build stuff on our house. But that's different. Then you're like, get out of here,

dude. He's by a stream. Yeah, that's where they're supposed to build, dummy. Yeah. That's rude as shit. Good. That was very rude. I hope he died. I hope he went into anaphylactic shock and I hope he's allergic to all. No, he's okay. Jesus. That was really hateful. Well, I'm, I'm just Hornet rights. Hornet rights. Nobody's defending them and their needs. What do you think of this one? Yeah. No, I know, no, no.

Woo! He survived? Ooh. Wow, look, he's right now. You see that moment? Yeah. I've had that moment. Yeah, of course.

Or you just stop and you're like, I'm fucking stupid, man. I could have just saw my life. I should be doing this. That was, can I see it again? Yeah. Dude, he just escaped. death narrowly wow I don't know about death but it could have been real ugly look at that oh it gets caught in his shirt you know what he needs trauma shares

oh that's so relatable and you're like whoa oh god dude that thing could have done the death roll it could have been real gnarly yeah cut of circulation yeah could have been gross yeah he got lucky he got lucky man that was terrible baby that was one of the more sobering ones that i i just really empathized with him it's like a near-death experience that was terrible yeah i didn't like that no no oh oh the rolling around is what gets me did he did he chop his nuts I mean, he landed on a steel beam. Yeah, but that's his fault. I mean, it's totally his fault, but you still are like, oh.

I mean, all that force from, like, coming from up high. Let me see it again. Oh, boy. I looked away at the pivotal moment. I mean, it's right on the nuts, too. Yeah, that's testicular trauma. Yeah. He might be going to the hospital, dude.

That is fucking so gnarly. Well, dude, I mean... Because when they get grazed, it affects you. He should have known better. The full body weight. He should have, come on. I know, it was fucking stupid. This one was.

He knows. He fucking knows. Maybe he liked it. He didn't like it. Maybe he liked the fart fetish guy. I don't think he did. I think he's actually very, very disappointed in himself right now. Or he's in heaven.

He's in ecstasy right now. Right now he's just rolling around. I'm about to come. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think so. I think he's not having a good day. His shoes flew off, dude.

That's how fucking dramatic that was. Oh! I think he tore some ligaments. What, babe, what's the injury? He did the splits? Yeah. So what does that tear? I mean, he could have torn his groin easily, yeah.

It's really fucking up. Your hips? Like, did he, like, fuck up his hips? I mean, there's any telling what he did. He did some damage, dude. He fucked himself up. That sucked. Everyone's laughing, too.

We'll smile on that guy. He's like, ha ha. Oh, yeah, skaters are brutal. Recording him. Yeah. He's like, that was great, man. That's why skaters are the best. Yeah.

They're like, fucking pussy, get up. Yeah. Hey, ladies, if you like a guy who likes to have fun in the shower, I'm your man. Okay, next. What do you mean next? You don't like to have fun in the shower? I do.

I love fun in the shower. That's what he just said. Do you like to have fun in the shower? I'm your man. I don't like, I don't want to do it with him. Why? I want to have fun of shower with you. Oh, with me?

Yeah, do you like fun in the shower? Yeah, but I feel like I'm not your man. I feel like that's your man. I like that he had the volume full blast. That's the way to do it. Hey, ladies, if you like a guy who likes to have fun in the shower, I'm your man. That's a comedy.

He's watching some sitcom. Yeah, there's a lap track going real loud. Yeah. Yeah, my only advice would just be turned the volume down on the TV. Oh, for sure, because everything else was fine. Yeah. The angle is horrible, the white, the white walls are depressing. Why is his nose so red?

I'm surprised he to go, forgive me, I have a cold right now. Like, you know, people do that. Like, we know, we can tell. Well, apparently he puts out videos like this a lot to ladies. Show me a hand gesture to me. To ladies, like you. To ladies. And I'm just supposed to scoop up.

I'm your man. I like it. I really like it. This is the kind of shit you love right here. Yes. Go. Skylar Renee has returned. Skylar Renee returns.

I could do this in a second. You like this. I would love to train just to get this fit to beat the shit out of dudes. Yeah. I think this would be awesome. I love this. I love it. I'm all in.

Yeah. Would you let me do this? You like ball kicks, though. I'm Astrodomina, and I'm about to kick his ass. I don't like this guy. I don't like this fucking guy. No? Morrissey, big fat Morrissey here.

I don't like him. Now, he's too pathetic. So here's the thing with me. Yeah. The guy can't be super pathetic. He has to be able to fight back. That guy could fight back. I know, but in the visual domain, it's not appealing.

So you want it to be a more fit guy? Like the other one before? Yeah. I could be like, okay, this is somebody that there's a little danger here. Oh, that's what you want. Oh, I thought it was just to be like, just to be abusive and brutal. But it's got, it can't be to a frail guy. Hold on.

You know, in comedy, you don't want to punch down. Sometimes. But I mean, I feel like it's too easy if it's like a frail. pussy guy. It's got to be somebody that's a challenge. That's interesting. Because you always always tell me that you like, I could always do a ball kicking thing. You're like, I could want it to be a pathetic guy. Correct. Because then it, what's the fun? It's like, they're all the same guy. Oh, you're kidding. Morrissey is the same guy? Just different haircuts and stuff. Yeah, that's boring. Well, there's not a lot of guys that are like,

yeah, I'll do this video. They found one. I just don't like them when they're so frail and pathetic. Really? Because what's the fun? Yeah. Like a five-year-old could kick the nuts. I get it. I didn't realize this. It's an interesting.

Well, I'm just now thinking about it, you know? Yeah. Mm-hmm. I haven't thought about it. Um, we got to push real quick. I'm sorry. I've really got a whiz hard because I drink the two bags of tea. And we're back.

And we're back. How was your pee? It was powerful. How was yours? It was pretty good. Yeah, I went ahead and did it too. Let me ask you something. Sure, go ahead.

What do you think about Hitler? Well, I got some new. news for you. Adolf Hitler won a local election in Namibia. Oh, wow. Adolf Hitler Unona, a 59-year-old local politician in northern Namibia, which just won re-election for his seat as counselor of Ompunja constituency for a fifth consecutive term. Although his name echoes that of the Nazi dictator, he has long stressed that he has no ideological or personal ties to that legacy. His father reportedly gave him the name without understanding its historical weight. Ahead of this election, he formally removed Hitler from his official documents.

And now it just goes by Adolf Unona. Well. Fifth re-elect. So people are like, I love this guy. Yeah, he's the one for me. I like it. Ted, I like his name, to be honest. Hitler.

Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, look, if you're going to take out the Hitler, why not change the Adolf? You know, I've changed my name legally. I love that the dad was like, wait, what's this all about? I never heard of this. There's a problem with this guy's name? What?

It's a nice ring to it. I mean, look, full disclosure. Yeah. We're out here in Western Europe doing our thing. Maybe they didn't hear about it over there. Yeah, in Africa? You don't think it reached that far? Maybe not, dude, I don't know.

He's like, big fan. That's just a smooth name. Because it's illegal to name your child that here. Here, isn't it illegal? I think so, isn't it? I would say it's illegal. I don't know that it's illegal. In Germany, it for sure is.

They outlawed that after, you know, who came and ruined stuff. Yeah. yeah let's see you're not allowed to in Germany you cannot name a child Adolf Hitler in Germany it's German law is protected by it what about in the US I mean I can't I think you can you know it's about my rights let's see it is not universally illegal today your child Hitler in the United States some states may reject it based on prohibitions against offensive or derogatory names Germany New Zealand have explicitly banned the name.

I mean. So, interesting. State by state, I guess it goes by here. Texas is probably a no-Hitler zone. Yeah, that's what it says, actually. Example, a Texas official might reject the name due to prohibitions against offensive names. What if you're like, what's offensive about it?

I know. What? My favorite Namibian counselor is named Adolf Hitler. That's true. What if it's not about the original? Yeah, what about this guy? I'm a big fan. I'm a huge fan.

I bet California will let you. You think New York, California, you can name your kid Hitler? I wonder. Let's look. Which states allow you to name your child, Adolfo? Bama. Louisiana? They're like, we'll pay you to do it.

What states can you name? Name your kid. Hitler. That's two bags of different flavors to use. It is likely legal to name your child Adolf Hitler, but there are no federal laws banning it. Let's see. All right.

Some states have banned it. Texas has one such state. Yeah, there's not a list. Here's the thing. Why don't you try it? If you're about to have a kid, you don't give it a shot, see what they tell you. See, you can get away with it. It's a really cool experiment to run.

Somebody's doing it right now. You're right. You think so? In Alabama, a baby was born. And they were like, Hitler. Yep. Like that guy on the podcast, where he was like, you know who I'd want to hang out with? Oh, right.

He could kick a beer. You know, he was fucking told him to burn all. the trans books and shit. You wasn't a bad guy. I'd like to fish with them. There's people that feel that way. Yeah, that wasn't New York. I'll tell you that.

New Surrey Bob. Yeah. New Jersey couple loses custody of their son named Adolf Hitler. That's interesting. The New Jersey parents who gave their children Nazi-inspired names including Adolf Hitler lost custody

after a state appeals court ruled that a history of domestic violence puts the children at risk of abuse and neglect. Court documents show the oldest child frequently threatens to kill people. and the mother once slipped a note to a neighbor saying she was terrified of her husband because he said he would kill her.

Adolf Hitler Campbell, four, and his two younger sisters, Jocelyn Aryan Nation Campbell, and Hanslin Himmler Jeannie Campbell will remain in the care of the division of family. Jesus. Their parents, Heath and Deborah, both unemployed and disabled, were abused as children. Neither has received adequate treatment for their serious psychological

conditions. I mean, you know, what I hate about this is it's really, it's really tarnishing the Hitler name. Right. And Himmler. And Himmler. And Himmler. And the Aryan Nation. They gave her the name Aryan Nation. Which, if you didn't know what it meant. Also, she didn't, they didn't do, they did a, a name that sounds like Hans Himmler. It's Hans Lindler. Oh, let's see. Hanslin. So maybe it's a girl. Right, but like, his name was Hans Himmler. But they feminized. But they feminized. They feminized it. Hansland.

It's not the same thing. Hansland. Hansland, Hitler, Jeannie Campbell. Yeah. I think I'd go by Jeannie. I think as Jocelyn, I might drop my middle name. But poor Adolf has no hope. Jesus.

Adolf Hitler Campbell. Yeah. God damn, man. Your parents are just fucking wild. Joyce Lynn Aryan Nation Campbell. Well, there you go. The jersey lets it fly. Yeah.

They did it in New Jersey. If you're a Jersey native, name your kid whatever you want. Congratulations. You're free. Yeah. Three-year-old Hitler can't get name on a cake. Oh, this guy's the same guy. They make the news a lot.

They make the news a lot. Oh, it's actually him there. There's Heath on the left. Deborah on the right. And there's Adolf. There's baby Adolf in the middle. Fucking sweet. He's like, well, I can't get a cake.

Babe, do you ever think about just like how the completely mentally insane parade around as one of us? If I saw this photo, I'd be like, oh, what a nice little. Yeah. I just was watching that the other day, scrolling. It was a woman on the street interviewing a guy. She was like, what are you up to today? Like one of those street interviews? And he was completely mentally ill, but well presenting.

And you go, oh, that's everywhere. like he went on a insane rant where you could tell that like she was scared anyone listening would have been scared and he was buttoned down collared shirt like just well presenting and was unhinged just somebody put a microphone in his face god damn dude yeah so like it was real crazy it was really crazy they just walk among us yeah yeah he walks among us too yeah yeah pretty cool here's a fun one I don't know if you'd know about this story an Italian man

dressed up as his dead mother in order to claim her pension very cool this is an Italian man for Borgo 56 year old former nurse is under fraud and investigation

for concealing a corpse after allegedly dressing up as his look at him right here that's him on the right dressing up like mom he looks just like her I think he did a great job he did it wasn't that hard

he's lucky that his mom had that hair yeah and that face. She didn't have much work done. He wore a wig, makeup, clothes, jewelry, even used a cane when visiting the local registry to renew her ID. The charade collapsed when a clerk at the registry office noticed physical inconsistencies and became suspicious. The authorities say that the scam netted roughly 53,000 euro per year, combining the pension and the income from his family's properties. Now he's facing charges that include fraud, false identity, document Oh, stop.

But don't you think if you're a man and you go through the trouble to dress up like your mother, go down to the office, pull the heist, give him the money. Yeah. Who cares? Yeah. I'll send him to jail. That is kind of silly. You found it. This is the one I was talking about.

I'm confused because, you know, like we're supposed to believe in the ministry, right? So is the church and state supposed to be separate? I'm confused because I never went to school, right? Is a confused person get a resolution? I don't understand. You see, when you go like that, right, you have a cross, two sticks, right? And that's how I felt when I was in Waterloo. Because when I walked in Waterloo and smiled at people,

they treated me like a vampire. They used the cross, and they went like this by not smiling. not smiling at me. In Toronto, hey, hi, guys, you know me. Steve Spiros, easygoing? Those who know me, I'm a nobody. You understand, and you can't kill a person with nobody. So, why am I afraid?

I'm not afraid. I'm afraid of the boogeyman. Who's the boogeyman? You figure it out. I'm getting out of here. It's a good rant. I'm going back to Waterloo where the vampires hang out. And I'm going to wear my sunglasses that night.

You know why? Because women show their tits, have short skirts, and then they feel violated when I look at them. Yeah. Why? Because I have sunglasses on and I'm weird. I'm from Humberside. I'm sorry if I made a fool of Humberside, but all those people who called me a sleepwalker, I woke up. Now I'm going back to sleep because I'm going to be committed in an isolation room because I'm going to be committed in an isolation room. because I'm going to go back to the ministry and allow them to perceive me as I am. A fuck up! Goodbye!

Good day, sir. Hey, Toronto the Good. Look at this square. It was a shithole when I worked here. Now it looks like New York, Manhattan. Yeah. Where are the bums? There's no bums here.

Toronto doesn't have bums. But Waterloo, they're creating bums. They created me. Why? He's a vampire. I don't know. They treat him like a bumbs. Maybe it's the church.

Talk to the Pope. He knows everything. I had it. I'm going to die. How can you die when you're dead? Yeah. Tom. But you get it.

But look what I mean, though. Like, if you saw him. Just be honest with me. Yeah. Is this what I sound like when I talk about aliens? I mean, you know, parallel. Yeah. Wait, but how did he get dressed?

Like, who got him out the door? That's my point. How does he look normal? And how many out there are similar? Oh, I'm like, he just didn't take his meds. I have a feeling he just was off his meds. You think so? Yeah, he went psychotic.

But if you take your meds, you can walk among us. But if you stop. Yeah. Can't skip your meds. No, dude. That's probably what happened. He's like, I feel good. I don't need to take him.

Oh, shit. I'm not going to raise my voice. No, don't. Because I'm committed. I'm going to be crucified. right I'm not gonna raise my voice she's like what yeah she went through a lot of emotions you could tell and she surrendered at the end she was like get this guy's safe yeah people starting to look at the ladies over there noticing him yeah what is going on also it's like

all those buttons are gone now I thought about that too he doesn't know how to sew them back no way he's got to walk around like that now yeah it was such a strong choice yeah Wow. Yeah, don't ruin the shirt. Don't ruin your shirt, man. That was a nice shirt. Yeah, because, yeah, right. Now he's got to go home on the subway.

Open shirt. Be treated like a vampire. Also, he said there's no bums in Toronto. I would very much disagree. Really? There's no bums in Toronto? Have you been, recently? I mean, I was there, yeah, earlier in the year.

What was the bums? No, it's just, it's a major city. It has bums like anywhere else. Dude, Toronto is where I saw that topless woman with her fucking flapjacks. out. No. Yeah, dog. Wait, you're talking about the big titty swingers? Yeah. That was Manhattan. That was in New York, but she didn't, she had a shirt on. I'm talking about, I was

in Toronto in a car. Oh, with tits out? And she was just walking with a handbag on and her chachis hanging out. Right out. And I go to the driver, I go, is this, am I seeing this, right? He goes, yeah, you're allowed to do that in Toronto. There's no laws against it. It's protected. If you're a native

person or something, you can be topless. It sounds very progressive, which is very Canadian. Oh, yeah. It's like, you know, why can't I? That guy's got his tits out. Yeah. Yeah. Which, like, I don't think is a big deal. I've never thought it was a big deal. I don't want to show my Chachis. But you should have the right to. I think so. I think anyone's going to be like, your torso? I mean, it should be fine. Yeah, men or women. Yeah. And it would make walking much easier. Do you see how all this stem, though? Like, you're like, oh, this. And then he was like, women wearing their clothes and they're mad because I'm looking. It always goes back to, like, a guy.

being like some chick rejected me and god yeah god is forsaking me yeah and women are the devil women are wearing short shorts and i look and they get mad yeah everything stems to that that's the religion i'm always afraid of women making us horny and stuff women one of your favorites was uh in the in the news not long ago megan markle oh yeah she faced online criticism after posting a thanksgiving cooking video in which she prepared a raw turkey while wearing rings and bracelets In the clip, she's seen seasoning the turkey, rubbing it with spices and lemon zest to the tune of Bob Dylan's turkey chase, captioning it with Let the game begin. Social media users wasted no time mocking her the hygiene. Many dubbed her the Salmonella Sussex criticizing her for not removing jewelry while handling raw poultry.

I mean, who has, I'd leave my rings on when I do poultry. I don't think that's a big sin. You know what I think is a bigger crime? are like these banal basic captions, let the game begin. Like that to me is more of a spiritual crime. Oh God. Just a screenshot because it was a story.

Oh. I just don't understand why. Is there more there? Tom, explain to me the joys of conformity. Like why does everyone have to show how basic bitch they are? It's like a basic bitch. test right like look how I'm doing the thing everyone else is doing I don't know there's nothing fun I mean that one's reaching I wouldn't call her I feel like for for this

her whole thing is she's trying to build a brand like her brand normal chick brand she's trying it seems like she's trying to be the like the house yes the domestic queen right like the the old Martha Stewart kind of lane of like here's how I do my garden here's how I Prep the kitchen. Here's how I do. Oh, this is it. Oh, there you go. Yeah, but she's not the expert. That this is the big problem. Right. Is that there's, there's nothing special she's giving. Yeah. There's no knowledge, new knowledge. I don't know enough about prepping poultry. Aye, yeah. What do you suppose, I guess, just have no jewelry on. That's what they're saying. That's what I guess. You should wear gloves. I think in a perfect world. But like, I cook with my rings on. Big deal. I wash them with soap and water. Yeah. All right. What are you going to do? this, I think, look, as much as I dislike this woman's personality, I think this one's a little. There you go. You know, she's a little phony bologna, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's doing those, like,

one of my favorite things to do in the holidays is celebrate with family. And the voice. What better way, yeah, yeah, a better way to celebrate that family than with the family turkey. I go out to my guard and then I have to go to meetings and it's like, what are we doing? What's the order going to be? Are we stocking enough items? It's really a good. It is so tiring being an entrepreneur and a full-time mother. You know, like that kind of, like, you're not. We know you're not, babe. You have a staff.

Yeah, you're fine. Let's not pretend. I'll tell you who doesn't have a staff, this guy. But I don't just do crack. You do PCP. Oh, PCP. You got damn right. And don't fuck with me when I'm on.

Yeah. Yeah. Why? Because you can't feel a she. That's right. That's why I like it. Because it gets you fucked up for real. Crack, this bullshit.

It's a hit or miss. It might be good. It might not be good. PCP get you fucked up every single motherfucking time. And I only hit the shit about five times. I don't set that smoking a whole cigarette. I don't get stuck at all that bullshit. Animal, please.

I don't want to hear anything. Animal. You never do. That's why you hung up. Animal. But I've always... If your nickname is Animal within family? It's amazing.

Animal, shut up. Here's a deal. Animal, I don't want to hear that shit. I've always wondered. the difference between PCP and crack. Yeah. Well, he just kind of laid it out for you. I never knew that.

Have you ever done PCP? No. No. Can we get PCP anymore? Yeah, you can get it. What is it? PCP, that's Angel Dust. That's like,

oh yeah. That's when you see like a guy fighting 13 guys. Ah, I love PCP. Can you imagine running into this clown after he's fucking smoked five fucking hits of PCP? like what where is it from what is it a plant it's a hallucinogen and um yeah dude disassociative anesthetic right that sounds awesome yeah see I'm on his team with this I think PCP sounds fucking

way good dude PCP that's literally when you see like one guy and 20 cops that's that's PCP yeah yeah it was bigger in the 80s I remember there were always been news stories in LA about a guy high on PCP like lifting cars fighting cops That's what it is, dude. So users often experience a feeling of being detached from their body and surroundings, false sense of strength of disability. Check. Check. Anxiety, paranoia, delusions, hallucinations, disordered thinking can lead to bizarre, aggressive, violent behavior.

Physical symptoms include body numbness, slurred speech, loss of coordination, dizziness, increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, and rapid involuntary eye movements. Animal is on it. He knows. I mean, I like the first two things. You get super strong. Yeah. You get a little chaotic. Or you think you're super strong.

That's cool. That's what happens. People are like, I am the Hulk. Yeah. Yeah. Do bodybuilders work out on PCP? No. No way, dude.

I think they should. No. Well, what's it for then? I mean, people lose their goddamn minds on this. It's like a super hallucinogen, yeah. So in order, in addition to the Uber Eats. Guys name animals. This is.

Yeah. We need to open a gym where we give them PCP. Yeah. You'll just have weights thrown through the walls and probably just dead bodies everywhere. It's real crazy, man. Yeah. Dude, the PCP gym would be so fucking rad. Yeah. Just open your heart and your arms to me.

To me. Smoke some dust. Well, hold on, but what does crack do? You want to get wet? That's what it's called. They dip it. They dip the cigarettes. You want to get wet? yeah but what does crack make you feel because that's cocaine and rock for me i mean it's a super high it's supposed to be like a very intense short high which is like the real problem is that it it goes away it's like five minutes people's mind gets altered forever and they just want to get back

on that high and it um makes you paranoid as shit too it's not like it's not good there's no super strength there's no super strength you're just high as fucking you can you please look up what crack does to you sure i'd like to know the difference specifically. Crack. It's cooked cocaine. What doesn't make you feel like? It lasts for 15 minutes.

Yeah. The effects. Okay. Blood pressure, your blood pressure goes up. Your heart raises. You may lose your inhibitions about doing things like spending lots of money or stuff they don't really need

on stuff they don't really need. They may start to feel angry or paranoid. So it sounds like you're, inhibitions completely go yeah which could be awesome fucking great dude yeah um you get a huge dose of dopamine makes you feel good when yeah yeah so the only thing that sucks is you're gonna lose your money and you get paranoid yeah but for it intense pleasure yeah sudden confidence burst of energy and alertness sounds like a good way to start today oh yeah hyper focused talkativeness agitation restlessness. Yeah, the main high usually lasts five to ten minutes, followed by a sharp drop.

That's the problem with crack. And that's why you got to get a lot of it. If you're going to start smoking crack, don't just buy one rock. Dude, buy a whole bag. Buy a lot of crack. Well, let's think about how many rocks you'd want. If it's five to ten, ten being on the longer end, dude, for one hour, that's six rocks. Yeah, so I would get like 40, 50 rocks to start. At least. Yeah, so you can like hole up for a couple days. you know are you eating when you're high on this shit probably not you're not sleeping you're not eating look at the i didn't like to give you oh they won't tell you crack information yeah stupid what's the price of a crack rock yeah it's like i can't help you with that i think it's cheap

i'm gonna i'm gonna venture to guess that a crack rock is cheap yeah i think so too right cocaine is not no but it's cooked down for crack so maybe what 10 20 bucks or something for like a rock for a fun night let's do the math on the how much to have a fun night on 25 a gram a gram hmm something that how many rocks are we buying 60 yeah you got to have your money ready don't get into crack if you're broke no get a good job save up your money buy a bunch of crack and then have fun yeah I agree that's the problem is that poor people like drugs you should be a rich person there you go and then you'll keep your money money you won't go broke duh you want to hear a nice story before we wrap up always

have a cool story to share with you all right here we go my wife's sister hustle passed my wife's sister about eight months ago and she uh you know talked to me the other day and she says she haven't had sex since uh lennett died okay i know where this is headed and asked me you know, can I come over and help out, you know, because she says she still have needs and she don't want to, you know, messing about that she don't know.

Yeah. Right? I know she never had anything to do with me before, but she said she felt comfortable because she knows them. Yeah. So I told I had to talk to my wife and see what she said about that

because I want to get caught up in that. You know, I'm my wife. She's my wife's sister. Yeah, that's weird. So I talked to my wife, and she's so crazy about her sister, you know, she's doing anything for a damn sister. So I kind of figured she's going to say, yeah, anyway, because she's on her sister, you know, they're real tight. Yeah, they're just, yeah. And so, but she told me, said, once I go over there, you know, just, you know, take it easy with her.

No, she did get me. Don't be hanging around the house and just go over there, do what you got to do, and bring your black ass back home. Oh, wow. So, and don't be, you know, turning out, making them fall in love with you. just give a little something that's hold over to she, I call you again. What a lucky lady.

Now, I want you to know every time I look around. You got a fine excuse to go over there. I don't know. I like that. That's your sister. I respect you, you know. I'm just you know, come to you. She came to me. I asked me to help her out. She haven't had sex

in eight months. Because if I miss eight days, I might be goddamn dead. I might have to charge it or something, though, you know. Charger. That's a service, you know? I'm going to go there, giving her a service.

Yeah. So I may have to charge a little something. So I think I'm a good price. I can charge him. I wonder. Maybe $300, I guess. Oh, stop. That's a little too cheap, though, but.

$300. That's a little cheap. You don't break me, Harvey Robin, though. Yeah. I think $300 a fair price. All right. I'm done with this guy.

For my service. For my service. What do you think? I want to see a picture of the whole crew. You do? I don't think it's attractive. You don't think that. that this is enough of a peek into the group we're talking about?

I mean, look, we've always stressed the importance of teeth on this show. Dental. If there's not one thing we learn from your mom's house is fix your goddamn teeth, bro. Maybe take those payments you're going to be getting for your service and get your two fees kind of realigned. They're all over the place. At the least, cleaning your glasses. ate a grenade. It's crazy.

He did. Just like a cartoon. They were fucking insane. Yeah. My wife's sister husband. Lander passed away back to my wife. You know, she's crazy about it. He's not having a while.

He's just such a mess. He is a mess. That I don't believe in any woman. I wonder if the wife loves that he shared this with the world. Oh, he's so. If she did grant him this, that he's, she's like, you fucking had to put that on social media? He's so stoked. And there's no.

way the wife was like sure go fuck my sister she loves his thing you know what i'm saying anything about she's saying we're gonna be making her don't turn around making fall in love with you oh please yeah a woman said that yeah don't don't don't be doing what you normally do and have her fall in love with you oh yeah you big stud this sweet looking ladies man he's got acting like he's fucking edress elbow whatever just going over there so hot Tim yeah if your brother needed it may I yeah fuck yeah I mean he's sad just get like 300 bucks I like that he was like that's cheap for what I'm doing for what he's doing like my going rate 700 but I'm gonna do it for my sister-in-law I mean you can only see his my wife says the husband pathway his chins what

does his body look like there's no way he can even get up out of the chair yeah he's in the lazy boy he's leaning back he has no teeth he can't fuck he can't fuck no there's no way this guy's I bet you he can fuck. I bet you he would show, he'd be like, why don't you man coming home? Can I, in all sincerity, though, can a man this out of shape, fuck? Well, to some degree, yeah.

I don't think it's going to be top tier, exemplary. Right. No. I think it's going to be something else. Like winded. Yeah. Laying down on his back. Ugh.

Oh. It's like Bill Cosby. It's gnarly. All right. Here's some of your TikToks. Oh, fuck, yeah, dog. Hey, fuck that shit. Damn, but I'm tired now.

Fuck this shit. Ways soda, all, Lord, me. Damn, you act like a motherfucking fool. Kitting motherfucking break in time me. Taste that soda. Why the fuck you keep doing shit like that to me? I was testing my brakes, man. I've seen this account.

Yeah, that's great. I know you like it when old guys get mad. Oh, this guy. This guy tortures him all day. That's all he does. It's great. Fucking bad news, everybody. Fucking, I guess Cassie's sick of my shit, dude.

I came home. She fucking put all my stuff on the fucking yard. Yeah. And says I got to fucking leave. So I don't know. Someone can come pick me up, give me a fucking ride, take my shit to their fucking pad and fucking just store it for a fucking couple weeks until I, get my fucking shit back in fucking order.

I can fucking, you know, I'll pay you in rent and fucking records. There's fucking punker shit in there. And fucking stereo shit, fucking guitars. He's got. Fucking just, you know, fucking hit me up, you know, fucking trade my drum set or fucking. Okay.

Well, I was going to say he's got a lot of drums. Got a lot of vocabulary too. It's really interesting. Drums and a cacti. Yeah. Cassie's sick of his shit. Well, of course. His stuff takes up too much space.

Yeah, cactuses and drum kits. Like, come on. Bad, fucking news, fucking. I like that he's putting it out to his followers. Somebody come pick up my shit. Store it. I'll pay you in, he said, I'll pay you a rent or like in vinyl. That's cool.

I'd do it for some good records. I would. I'd store his shit. I think he probably likes the same shit you like. I think he does. That's why I'm kind of now I'm curious. Can I hit him up for those records? Hey, man, you still need that storage?

Yo, is Cassie's still getting you down, bro? Bro. Fucking what you do, man. I'll start that bin a gray shit. Give me that record, bro. Fuck, yeah, dog. I wish Sam's Club sold bed sheets in bulk because I keep scorting through mine

and it's starting to feel like I'm sleeping on a goddamn flipping slide. A flipping slide? What? Oh, that doesn't turn you on? Tom, you don't want to fuck her. That doesn't make you excited. Something about shitting. She's shitting.

I'm talking about her puss. No, she's squirting out of her asshole. You know, like a flip and fly. Yeah. No, she's kind of hot. I'll give it to you. She is pretty hot. Don't you think it's hot that she has no teeth?

Yeah, I like it. Yeah. She can really give you, you know what? I know. You can say it. Mouth kisses, like your peepee. Be nice, yeah. Good morning, sweetheart.

Oh. I hate hearing a smile, don't you? Hearing it? Interesting camera work. Of course. He's always doing that. He's taking you down to the angle he wants to see you at. That's kind of nice.

Good morning, sweetheart. If you have to poop, do not hold it in. I said what I said. You say it again. Yeah, it's sage advice. But, you know, you do have to tell children that because our sons will go. You think this is for children? It's just for anybody who needs it, Tom.

If you got to poop, go sit down and poop. Don't hold it in. But a lot of people do. I know you. I got to take a dump. And then I go, okay, we'll go. No, I'm going to wait. Let's drive around Santa Barbara.

Remember that? You drove around for 45 minutes. I know. Well, I just wanted to show you something. You should. Yeah. Dushy sounding cringe words. I don't even know what episode this is.

First one for today. Remember, before we start, it's the sound of the word, not what it's actually describing that usually pissing. that usually pisses me off. Okay. Number one for today, jot. Like when you jot something down, fucking hate that. Yeah, I hate Jot.

Impromptu. I think our youngest son's going to be doing videos like this pretty soon. I get everything he's saying. I feel everything he's saying. He doesn't like these sounds. There's so many words I don't like. I don't like Moist. Everyone has that.

It's disgusting. I've never had a problem with Moist. Oh, even you saying it, it's terrible. I think that's so bizarre. I don't like the word yurt. Yurt. A yurt is disgusting. Who uses yurt?

It's in folklore. It's in stories, Native Americans. You don't read Native American literature? I do. I haven't been in a moment as much as you should. There's your fucking yurt. Okay. For today. I'm impromptu.

I hate that word. Do you do two? Number three for today is hot cocoa. Oh. Yeah. I don't know if I'm going to get through this. Just cold fucking hot chocolate, man. It's just stop with the cold coat coat.

Oh, I know. This dude is like on the verge of a heart attack. No, this is how I feel too when I hear. Can I tell you what I really hate? Yeah. What I really hate? Tell me. When people call it their tummy.

I have tummy troubles. You're like tummy. Me? Well, there's a few organs. There's a stomach. There's your intestines. There's your uterus. There's all kinds. What are your tummy? You get a tummy. It's very juvenile. Yeah. We're having tummy troubles. Like, just, okay, you just call it what it is. Your stomach. You're phantomizing the phrase, right? Well, because I don't understand what your ailment is. Are you shitting? It is for a child. Yeah. Are you shitting? Are you bleeding? Are you bleeding? Or does your stomach hurt? Those are three different ailments. I have a tummy. My tummy. I have a tummy ache. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck your tongue. our fourth one is non-negotiable oh i hate that one i like that one and last for today yeah the worst fashionista whatever the fuck that is is that fashion police i hate that somebody who dresses fashionably i like that he's aggravated yeah it's very endearing and yeah i've said

this before i hate impactful i think that's a dumb fucking word i always thought that was weird of you. I hate impactful. I thought that's very weird of you. Stupid. No. Stupid. That's so bizarre. Such a crazy. It's a new made up word. I don't like new words. Excuse me. Do I need an excuse? Is that the frame I want to set? Excuse me. I need an excuse. I need an excuse. I'm sorry. You're apologizing for talking. You need to apologize. I'm sorry to bother you. Your framing yourself as a bother excuse me I'm sorry to bother you

but I was wondering if I could ask a question don't ask to ask he's right he's right dude so all that is wrong that is the wrong way to frame yourself as a high valued male when you meet another person where's that hat coming in this play like is that part of this too

I'm sorry to bother you but I bought this hat would you tell me if you like it? His Russian Svetla, not hat. That is an insane fucking hat, bro. No, the hat is. But he's all about that. He's like, where are the thing that someone goes, the fuck is up with that?

Yeah, peacocking, I think he, it's like his flare. He's like, chicks dig flare. And he's not wrong. He's not wrong because it is a conversation starter, right? It's a conversation starter and it shows, oh, this guy's got confidence. Yeah. It's a weird confidence signal.

Because, like, oh, he doesn't care. He paints his nails black. He must be really self-confident. Yeah, he didn't get a fuck about shit. You didn't get a fuck about shit, bro. Yeah, that's good point. Good to see you, mystery.

I really did love you, you know. I still do. I dare to say I loved you more than anyone else has. Oh, my God. Or ever will. I think what makes me most uncomfortable is that he looks like me. I said the exact same thing. Oh, my God.

Yeah. A little. you're way more masculine. He's more feminine looking. Well, he's rubbing himself. That's kind of strange. Is he talking to a girl or a boy? We don't know.

We don't want to know. God damn. Put that stare into the camera. I think that's the thing that makes me the most uncomfortable when I see the cringe videos. It's the one where they're like... Oh, I stop.

I know. It's so off-putting. But you know what's even more off-putting is the filter that he used. use to make his eyelashes sparkle on these that's a that's an eye filter that's what chicks do it that's a that's a glamour filter I hate you think he's it he's going through it right now that's why he posted this like he's going through well here this is a good question because I always wonder when I'm really going through something the last place I want to be is online I'll go dark what

happens is some people do I need some input I need some type of validation so then those people can put the camera on themselves when they're crying or they're emotional we're all yeah it's pretty split half the population goes I would rather die I would rather die rather die and then other ones are like oh this what I love to do when I'm feeling it when I'm going through it yeah yeah because some people aren't embarrassed about publicly going through it yeah I don't but this is like horny so like yeah like I think horny going through it is more cringy than like to press yeah I don't because he's also putting it out there for the other women who are like, I, you're assuming it's women.

Are other people who are like, she dumped you or he dumped you? I would gladly take their place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what this is really about. I can't believe someone left you. You're so hot. He's fishing for good feelings. You're putting it out there.

Shut the fuck up. You're sitting in the police transport van after a protest. Shut the fuck up in a holding cell with your comrades. Shut the fuck up. Cop knocks on your door. Shut the fuck up. Texting on an unsecured device. Shut the fuck up.

Pulled over by the cops after a protest. Shut the fuck up. Cop just asking about your day? Shut the fuck up. Feds call your mom? Tell your mother to shut the fuck up. Now, repeat after me. When the cops come calling, what do you do?

Shut the fuck up! I mean, he is so right. This is the best. This should be played on this. news this should be on television all the time i know exactly right this is good advice if you're listening right now it's funny but it is true it's true because we i mean you have a bit about it on the first 48 it's like nobody goes i want to speak to my lawyer yeah which is the first fucking thing you should say and don't talk to them don't talk to the cops do it against you never

even if you're like i didn't do anything shut up shut up yeah because they'll fucking twist it or i don't know yeah you just got i've never been in jail you got to keep your fucking mouth shut day in my life you know what I'm saying yeah every clown knows that right they always know to shut the fuck up right why are you shaking your head getting so close I'm not no one's getting close to what what are you talking about oh stop I see it oh stop and I know which one's coming first oh there's a big one no one of your mind I see it you're out of your mind you're out of your mind I saw when we were starting ads yesterday Oh, stop

You're getting all smiley Because you're thinking of it I know what you're thinking You're spelling it out Oh my God You're crazy I love the nose though That is a very very nice touch today

You know what I bet you do I love clowns Oh okay I love clowns too I love clowns I love all people I've never had a problem with clowns Never had a problem with clowns Yeah

Different colored clowns Clowns of all sizes Of all religions Clowns of all creeds Yeah Name a very People All the clowns in the world

Pull up your pants Tie your tams Stop being a clown Blung Wow That's a specific look to these clowns That's just Crazy thing is he just typed clowns

No, it was listening to us Why are these clowns So one type a clown I don't like that Shout to Google. Yeah. How does Google know that we are talking about clowns? Huh.

That's really interesting. Well, yeah, this was great. It's great a great time. That was really fun. We learned about safety. Safety is real important. The garage. Lock in your garage, disabling the fobs.

Or just getting a bolt. That piece of rope off. Just take the string off. Take the string off. Keep a flashlight on you at all times. You don't want to fumble through your phone. Looking for, oh, where's the flashlight button? We're a vest.

Boom. Boom. Like, yeah. Scan a room and a parking lot for right to left between 8 to 10 seconds from 5 yards and then go to 25 yards. Get a feel for the area. Yeah. Yeah.

Get a feel. Be safe out there. Slow go. let it rip, let it go. Are you farting? No, I was just adjusting, moving in my chair. But this was a lot of fun. We will see you clowns next week.

Take care and turn your music down for Christ's sake. We'll see you next week. Bye. You see, all the first place, soon. Come on the world, soon. Oh, you got to get some words talking shit. Soon. You gotta get some more.

You say that I'm a false blood. Kenny, take it away. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Zero.