Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - It's An Austrian Painter Summer! | Your Mom's House Ep. 816

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Don’t wait! Make your outdoor space your dream oasis TODAY with Wayfair, and enjoy it all summer long. Head to http://Wayfair.com right now to shop a huge outdoor selection. This week on Your Mom’s House, it’s just Tom Segura and Christina P in the Mommy Dome, and things get historically unhinged. Tom has declared it's Hitler Summer and he's waist deep in World War Two documentaries. He also talks about watching a Bin Laden documentary that's especially fascinating. before sharing a thought about how Hitler was a great friend. Christina has also got a new painting on deck and the two mock Adrien Brody’s art, and have more fun with AI Keanu Reeves. Tom tells a hilarious story about watching Star Wars with their sons, Christina messes with a spam texter in the middle of the episode, A Tom-Ed Kemper abomination details his homicidal plans, and a horrifying run of “Horrible or Hilarious” clips and Toks featuring 18-wheelers, busted ankles, and piss pups. Plus, CP roasts Meghan Markle (again), Tom hypes the Fancy vs. Phillip showdown, and we close the show with an Enny-themed banger. Wild clips. Even wilder theories. No guest, no problem. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 816 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:38 - War Documentary Summer 00:06:08 - Hitler Was A Great Friend 00:13:44 - Opening Clip: Chris Hansen Caught Ya 00:19:20 - Adrien Brody's Art & Christina's Latest Work 00:27:23 - Clip: Baldwin Cringe 00:28:21 - Star Wars With The Boys 00:33:34 - Pac Man Jones Calls Tom 00:35:44 - Pitching TV Shows 00:38:21 - Clip: Beefing on CNN 00:39:48 - Fancy Vs Phillip 00:43:39 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:49:42 - Ed Kemper Tom 00:56:11 - Clip: My Ankle! 00:57:56 - The Black Segment 00:59:49 - TikToks 01:10:50 - Closing Song -"Enny Wears Those Pants" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

South Carolina and Georgia, I'm bringing my Come Together Tour to Peace Concert Hall in Greenville, South Carolina on August 28th and I'll be in Athens, Georgia on Friday August 29th at the Classic Center Theater and in Evans, Georgia on August 31st at Columbia County Performing Arts Center. Get your tickets now at toms mom's house. No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC optimum points on your first five orders.

Shop now at nofrills.ca. Dying. Oh. Yeah. Speaking of. Yeah. I don't know what this is with you. Yeah.

But it is now officially a Hitler summer. Because you've been watching your Hitler docs in bed. I love Jewish people, but I also love Nazis. Go ahead. Oh my God. You do this every summer. Heather pointed this out. Yeah.

That every summer you get into Hitler and World War II and you go down this rabbit hole. What is it about joy and summer? I like his name to be honest. Hitler. What is it about summertime? Summertime is wartime. No, you know, I was just going through

the library of options. And I just got a little tickle for some World War II stuff. So I started the World War II doc series. It's a six episode series, I think In color, which is nice exciting. Yeah You know, there's just so much that goes on like you think you know a story and then you forget like just

How how many different little stories are in something like World War two? It's just fascinating So I just yeah, I jump into it. But what about the idea of summer and freedom and good weather and, you know, lightning bugs and barbecues and boats makes you go World War II? I don't know. I think I cycle in and out of war docs though. Yeah.

Like I haven't seen one in a while. So I was like, eh,, kinda time for a refresher. Cause where were you before? I'm trying to remember. Were you into Pearl Harbor? What were you interested in? What, last time? Like prior to World War II.

Oh, I was just watching, I mean I watched a few docs. I watched the Tylenol one, I watched the Bin Laden one. Oh, that's where you were, the Middle East, yeah. Yeah. So it could have been a Bin Laden summer, but. You know, the Bin Laden doc. Oh, that's where you were, the Middle East. Yeah. So it could have been a Bin Laden summer, but. You know, the Bin Laden doc was fantastic, but that's only three episodes. Like, once you get into it, you know, it's really good. I mean, they got really incredible people to do that, like to agree to be on the doc,

you know. Really? Who did they get? Yeah. The former CIA director, Leon Panetta, a bunch of high ranking people that were, including the person that planned the raid. Who did they? The commander, the naval commander. Some people from SEAL Team Six were in it.

And just, yeah, like a lot of high ranking people talking about that whole, basically, journey of tracking him and everything that was behind the scenes, you know, of like how they figured out. I mean, I know people kind of know, you know, the courier was the connection to figuring it out, but having them lay it out and when you see how long it takes, that's the thing about these, you know, clandestine operations. It's like they have to be so patient and they just, you're tracking, they had to track this guy for like thousands of miles.

You know what I mean? Like he's in one country going through all this terrain, switching vehicles, switching hands and like track and track and then he just ends up in Pakistan and what is it? Abadabad? Abadabad. And they just see this house and like, this house is fucking weird, man. Like it has 15 foot walls and you know, then they like are figuring out who,

like how many people live there. They're looking at the trash that they did and they burn the trash and they're watching people come in and out and then they Figure out that they're like, oh no, they thought two families of their they're like there's a third family that lives here and they live on this like level and then they're using satellites to you know to see what they can and Looks really good. It's pretty cool. It was a cool room that he was chilling in. But this satellite imagery just had this guy that would pace every day, you know?

And they had to use... I forget what it's called. When you use... They see the image and the shadow that he casts, And then they figured out that by the shadow, that this individual, because they couldn't see him head on, was the same height as Ben Laden. He was a tall guy.

He was a tall guy, yeah. Wow. So what you're saying is, Ben Laden is longer than a summer. World War II, you could figure that were out in a summer. No, the opposite. Oh, no, Ben Laden is longer than a summer.

Bin Laden's a quick watch. Oh, so it should have been a Bin Laden summer. Well, no, because you need more. Bin Laden's a weekend watch. Oh, even less. World War II is a, that's a full-time job. That's a full-time job. All right, sorry.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna wrap up this one probably tonight, then I'm gonna start another World War II doc. Which, when do you get your paws on? I don't know yet. I'm looking at there's a lot of options. Might do Vietnam too. I don't know. You do cycle into Vietnam eventually in some time. It's a warm climate. That was a jungle war. That makes sense for you. Yeah. See that would make more sense, a Vietnam summer, a World War II winter. Oh, I see what you mean

Because so you're saying maybe save this next World War two doc for the holidays. That's what I'm talking Like Thanksgiving Christmas. That's what I'm talking about. Hey boys gather around. We're gonna watch a documentary About Stalingrad. Yeah when your mother's around your sister a fam. My dad could sit and watch that shit for weeks on end. Wake up, watch it, sit down, watch this right here. These tanks, you just gotta see these tanks didn't actually have on the right, rudders on them, they were like, just kind of mumble it to it, and you're like, cool, man.

Loved it. You'd walk in six hours later, and you just hear fucking machine guns going off. You still watching? Oh, yeah Yeah, and he was laying there in his chonies, I know exactly what you're talking about that house Yeah, but you you you watch these things. I didn't like I had no idea that In you know, they were trying to get Germany obviously to surrender That at one point they gave the directive to the British and American troops, just bomb Hamburg and kill civilians.

They're so desperate, I think. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, they're years into the war and then they're like, just destroy Hamburg. Just fucking take it down. I didn't know that. There's so many details. That's what I'm saying. How could you know that, Tom?

Oh, I know. Don't beat yourself. And here's the craziest thing. They fucking bombed the shit out of Hamburg. I mean, this place was fucking pretty much destroyed. And then they had all survivors go into like, I guess, like a postal service building operation. And then the Brits were like, bomb that. Oh my God.

To kill all the civilians civilians just to get her done Yeah, to really put some fear and that's still heart and yeah, and then hitley was like Do you know it's so funny so my father will tell people where to visit in Europe Dependent upon whether or not Hitler bombed it during World War two that's where to visit well no upon whether or not Hitler bombed it during World War II. That's where to visit? Well, no, meaning if Hitler didn't bomb it, it's a nicer European city. Oh, that's right. And that's just true because Hitler didn't, you know, tear it all to pieces.

So you have like the original European buildings and such that you can actually see. The other interesting thing about this dock is they have a lot of like super old people that fought in the war in it, you know? Super old people. Oh, that's cool. They're still around. They're still around. And you hear them talk about like, it's just interesting. Like some guy who's like, I hated the Americans. I want to hear that. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, that's so annoying with them McDonald's.

They're so loud in the subways. And then and then the whenever they have the American on, it's like an 87 year old guy. He's like, so we storm that beach and there's fucking Japs everywhere. And he's like, and there was only a handful of Japs left when we left, real nice. I know, it's so funny because now they don't even, they try not to, well the idea being like we have drones

That do the key for us. So we don't that type of war will never happen again. I hope I mean look No, none of it's great. No, of course not. But these people were just yeah Traumatized these men were so traumatized when you see footage like one thing you don't think about is when there's a war at sea and you're on an aircraft carrier, and you didn't think about this until you're actually watching this

because someone will have a camera on deck, there's planes approaching firing and the guys that work on the deck just hit the deck. They just lay on the deck. That's where that saying comes from. And then fucking a plane flies over that's firing bombs and shooting machine guns at it. You're like, holy shit.

Then they just pop up and they just run around. Yeah, it's really crazy. You just hope that you don't get hit. All of them were like, I'm probably going to die today. Yeah. It's wild. How do you even, I don't know how they sleep at night, how they function, how they eat, how they share.

Because you just train, train, train until you're just like, I'm a war machine. I'm a killing machine. There is a scene in the show, the new look with about Coco Chanel and Christian Dior and how they navigated World War II. And it's a great, the idea being you think you would do differently or be a better person, but really, would you? You're just trying to survive. That's the thing. It's all about survival for most people. Right. It's a great moral question. And at one point, Coco Chanel is meeting with some Intel guy and some German or

whatever. And she's literally, she's in Paris and she's standing there and she's like, do I have to be here? The bombs are falling right behind me. And she's literally like, I'm fucking Coco Chanel and I'm standing in Paris and right behind me, the bombs are falling. And she's like standing nervously waiting for this guy to come meet her. And you're like, that's how it was. Yeah. people are just like, oh, yeah, they're just bombing some shit behind me right now

You know what nobody ever talks about though with hitley. What's that? He was a great friend. He was a great friend No to Mussolini Nobody talks about it. No, that's true. We learned that because I'm watching the doc, right and When the Italians are just done with Mussolini, they're like, we're done with this fuck. And they start just like rioting and going crazy. Guess what Hitley does? What?

He sends a plane to pick up Mussolini because he's worried sick about him. He's worried sick about him. He's like, get in loser. He's like, get in here. And he flies, and then he greets him. He gets up and he's like, you okay? Yeah, I swear.

Just a couple of bros. Yeah, and here's the thing. Say what you want about Hitler, but you can't say he was a bad friend to his friends. You know, there's just something about having an outdoor space that actually feels like it's yours. I've been spending more time outside lately, especially with the weather warming up, and I realized why not make my

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1.74% and save up to $4,000. Conditions apply. Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details. And they both have an aesthetic aesthetic scent they share an aesthetic sensibility here. Yeah. Yeah No one ever talks about the guy had a great smile Hitler yeah, did he have nice teeth? I don't know about that, but it's just a beautiful smile sure And his eyes really lit up when he smiled how can we never see these shots? Look at that guys having the time of his life. Just goofing around with his friends. How about a little more photos like this?

That's the guy I remember. You know what I mean? Hello. He's just saying hi. Hey. Hello. Hi. Vigates.

How's everyone doing? He's just waving. He's loving. Yeah. Hi. How's everyone doing? He's just waving. He's loving. Yeah. Yeah. It's a Hitler summer for him, too. Yeah, they always show that photo. The stern. Yeah, it's like, oh, that's how you got to remember him.

You got to remember him like, mm, but here's the real guy. You know? I get it, Tom. I get it. But again, great friend to Mussolini. Mm-hmm. And I just want it to be out there. All right here's your opening clip. Are you ready? I need a pen when you have a chance, Joshua. What would have happened had there been a 14 year old girl here Tim and not me or in the later as

he did not say that ugh meow meow meow. Meow meow meow. Did you eat her ass? You did not straight up say that. He said that and then I like how the guy goes. He's like, hmm. Would I? Yeah. He said that. And then I like how the guy goes, hmm. He's like, hmm.

Would I? Yeah. He's thinking it, for sure. The whole county sheriff's office. Well. You'd have ate her ass. I don't know. Yeah.

It's possible. I mean, it is what I proposed as the idea. He proposed that to a 14-year-old. Well, I mean, I'm deducing that from idea. He proposed that to a 14 year old? Well, I mean, I'm deducing that from the conversation. Yeah, me too. That's really wild for a 14 year old to be on board with. Wow, I didn't know people did that. Well, it's not.

It's somebody posing as a 14 year old. Oh, right. Yeah, that's how they got him. Yeah. That's how they got him, Tom. Somebody was like, come on over, I'm watching a movie. He's like, how about I come over and eat your ass? She's like, oh, I've never done that. And then you show up and it's Chris Hansen.

Do you think the chats with these are like Keanu AI where you're like, wow, this chick's really overly cool. Like this 14 year old knows what ass eating is. I mean, probably your reptilian brain takes over and you're just like, cool, this is the one I've been looking for. Yeah, I'm sure that they, when they look back on it, they're probably like, oh yeah, this is not,

I got caught. Yeah, I got bamboozled here. There's no 14 year olds. He's like, trying to get my ass eaten today, what are you doing? Yeah, he's like, what you doing girl? Just trying to get my ass eaten. Yeah, and he's like, funny enough,

I'm into eating ass, so if you want. What a coincidence. What a coincidence, yeah. Yeah, and he looks like he likes 14 year olds. They always look the part. Fill all my holes with your delicious man's bread and wanna overflow your love juice from my orifices like a broken toilet.

Canu. Canu. Canu. Do you need money? Ding, ding, ding. I've been fucked a lot, man. Yeah, cool. Wait, do that again. You bet I'm coming up in May.

He's so funny. You got me sweating like a black man. I know. Canu. He's so worked up today. What's going on? I can't believe Keanu Reeves is fucking doing this. I everyone thought he was a good guy. You're welcome to spit on me, slap me,

and be yours today because that's what I am. Wow. I need to get fucked alive. It's so crazy. I didn't know he was like this. I didn't know this either, man. Tom and Christina, you are both so hilarious and attractive. My racially ambiguous hog is throbbing for your comedy.

Oh, my God. Wow. I didn't know he was such a fan. I didn't know that either. Tom, your thick Peruvian cock is so vascular. It makes me salivate like a dog hungry for a bone. Wow. Jesus. Wow. Canu. Canu is really just a dirt dog. Dude, he's so horny. I had no idea. And he's broke. That's the craziest thing. That's the craziest thing. He's probably made 400 million dollars. Where'd those dollars go? Just to fucking cool people. You gotta send him Bitcoin.

Yeah. To help him out. There's a thing. You cannot wire me US dollars. That had to have been the best part. She's like, I can send you. He's like, no, no, go get some Bitcoin first. Then get me that. It's so random. Why, because it's just legal shit. God, I'm in a fucking bind. Can you just get some Bitcoin? You realize that woman had zero idea how to get Bitcoin?

I don't know either. No, but I'm saying that lady had to be like, I need Bitcoin today. She's like, do I go to 7-Eleven and get Bitcoin? How do't know. No, but I'm saying that lady had to be like I need Bitcoin today. Yeah She's like go to 7-eleven and get Bitcoin. How do I buy it? I would have no idea. And he walked her through it I was like go here go to this site register this don't put too much information Yeah, and yeah, and send me that code and then yeah, then you'll help me get out of this bind I'm in Anything yeah, I'm trying to help Keanu Reeves out. A ding ding ding ding.

Ding ding ding! We need that as a drop. That's just, we have it, I think. Ding ding ding! Yeah. What a dummy. Jesus. Ding ding ding.

It's so fucking stupid. Ding ding ding! Yeah. Hey, Mommy. Show me how those big tits fart. Wow, he knows your thing. What the hell? Can it? Wow mommy you are so funny and talented and creative and nice and beautiful Physically attractive to me

Wow, you know what I like at the end of that he got real sultry. You're so attractive to me Yeah, well he says something about you being, and funny enough, you have some creative things. Yes. So I wanted to bring to light, Josh Zola, thank you so much for pointing this out, that Adrian Brody, the actor, has been selling his artwork to the public. And let me tell you, he's been crushing it.

Crushing it. And the reviews from the art world are pretty fucking rough. crushing it. Crushing it. And the reviews from the art world are pretty fucking rough. Well, they don't know good art when they see it. That's the problem. Yeah, it says the actor's art gets brutalized in a review.

Well, who's? Well, but I saw some other art world people, they were saying that it is absolutely horrendous and hideous, yeah. Let me see. Let's see what he's got. Alex Greenberger of Art News says it's bad. Oh yeah, one of those, like pop art shit. Like deco posh, if you're listening to this.

Fuckin' A, 425 grand. I mean, this is great So he sold this it looks like a collage and then Marilyn Monroe's in the middle of the Hollywood sign in the background It's just like a collage of different Maryland Well, I will say this though just just to be fair to this right now because I didn't realize this when I heard his art I'd sold for that much The looks like the amount that one sold for almost almost 425,000, it's for a benefit and includes a lunch with him. Oh, wow.

So that's, but I'm saying that's somebody who's doing that to also, it's to contribute to whatever the benefit is. It's not just somebody going, I want to buy this art for this much money. I agree. I see what you're saying. It's a little different. I see what you're saying. It's a little different. I see what you're saying. The intent is different, but do we have any other of his,

any more of his work that we can critique and sort of look at? Yeah, let's look at some. I agree. That particular piece, I feel like we've seen in galleries before. Yeah. It's a little been done.

Oh yeah. Yeah, so is that. Yeah. It's pop art shit. It's pop art. He's collaging like Betty Boop. Is that like a Banksy? It's not that like notably,

it's just you've seen it like you said. It's pop art. Yeah, you've seen it. It's pop art. I have a piece of art like that from a gallery when we were on the road, but it hangs in a garage. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just like a fun, they're like fun things, you know. But he's not selling all of these and giving it to charity. He is profiting. Right? I'm assuming not all of these are for charity. I like the Bugs Bunny one.

I think he's fine. I think it's fine. Adrian Boddy's art is horrendous. Oh gosh, you guys. Why are people pretending it isn't? Well, I don't think it's horrendous. I don't think art is horrendous. Oh gosh you guys Why are people pretending it isn't well, I don't think it's no different than the shit that is in galleries now What's the diff? I think they don't like him Yeah, I don't know. I don't know either Listen, the point is Seeing Adrian Brody's I wonder what these are

Can you see what they're listed for at this gallery? At the Eden Gallery, whatever that is? I cannot imagine they're listing these for six figures. That's so insane. So good. Yeah, that would be really crazy. People brutally mock Adrian Brody's art. Yeah, what is that, Bro-Ducks?

Bro-Ducks, so he made like a Starbucks symbol, but he called it Bro Ducks. Which isn't even like, like it's like Banksy is clever with his stuff, right? Like it's funny. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah No, that's his stuff's really cool. 22,000? Yeah, that's that's like more in line with what that kind of stuff would go for probably like in in the teens and part of that's his name. And I think that one that everyone keeps citing is really because it was for a benefit. So they just made the price real crazy.

That was, oh wow, look at this. So a lot. See, that's had a gala. Like that's not. Yeah, that's for charity. It's for charity. Wow, okay, so this is really interesting. Now that's in line with what I'm gonna propose here

in a moment. Yeah, tell me what you're doing. So in light of, you know, Adrian Brody's success, I was thinking I'm gonna start putting my art up for sale. And like, I wanna sell the original piece. And I've been working on something for a while. I need money. I am drowning in legal troubles that I cannot elaborate on right now. Please send me money and I will send you my love.

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That's D-A-Z-N dot com slash FIFA. So I've, this is my first piece that I'm gonna be putting out there for sale in light of Adrian Brody's. Is that Adrian's or yours? No, this one's mine. Oh, that's yours, okay. This one's my original.

That feels Adrian-like. What the fuck are you talking about? I did that with my hand. That's oil pastels with my hands. I'm saying like I could see this in a gallery. Oh, okay, as long as you mean it like that. No, I meant it as a compliment. No, I meant it as a compliment.

Well, uh, yes. Is there a list price for the original? For the original? Well, first of all, let me tell you a little bit about this piece before we jump straight to the price, Tom. Sorry, that's really... That was tacky of me, I'm sorry. I just want this, I want the context. You know, every great piece of art has a story, okay? This one is about my struggle, oh, my struggle with breast cancer and this difficult year that I've had with my mortality and existence. And that's why I've made this piece of art

it's called fuck around and find out that's what this is called yes and is a cat and he's not playing games so I'm gonna be selling this original piece mm-hmm are you ready yeah ten thousand US dollars Wow not Bitcoin US dollars okay ten grand ten grand. US dollars. Okay. 10 grand. 10 grand. Where can they buy it? Where are we going to post this, Josh? I think on the YMH store.

Storytellymhstudios.com. Let's see if that actually, yeah. I need to get in on this Adrian Brody business plan. I'm going to do this first. Let's see if it goes. Well, can people buy prints who can't afford the... We'll see. I don't know yet. I may just sell the original and that's it the response was great. Then I may I may sell the prints

Okay, ten grand. Yeah seems reasonable to me. It seems totally reasonable You know how much work went into this cat? How long did it just hours days of me thinking about color scheme and like look how I fucking look at the bottom, bro You see how like the fur fucking looks all soft and shit I did that bro it looks great it really does look cool yeah it's really cool this cat's a killer dude yeah I'm super stoked about it and 10 grand I feel like you could own this put this in your house frame it whatever you know very cool yeah it'll just bring joy bitch get in here suck us up nasty flip-ass bitch. Hey, get up in here and suck us up,

head muster gobble ass bitch, head muster gobbling ass bitch, sea creature sea crawling ass bitch. See, this is the type of misogyny that my artwork addresses. Yeah. You know, like in addition to being cancer survivor, mother, Eastern European immigrant,

it's also about misogyny and patriarchy and a lot of stuff too, yeah. He's so aggressive, this guy. Yeah, it's a lot of them. It's, yeah. You suck us up, you sea creature ass bitch. Like it's really so demeaning. Because that's the woman that likes to be demeaned a little.

I guess, or maybe she's, I don't know if she likes it, she's just used to it. You know what I mean? Bitch, get in here and suck us up. Yeah. She's like, that sounds pretty inviting. Yeah. I mean, uh, Sea creature, sea crawling ass bitch.

A sea creature, sea crawling ass bitch. That's for somebody who was abused a lot. Yeah. And then they're like, Who's just like, that's, that feels, that feels right. Yeah. God, I think about this all the time. If I might just compliment you.

Yeah. Don't compliment that bitch. Don't compliment that bitch. Don't compliment that bitch. But like, I really should have ended up with a monster. Don't compliment that bitch. Yeah. Not you. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? I know. I should have been with a real psycho. Like. These fucking two. These fucking two. Even that bit didn't really make sense. No. Because he's supposed to be serving her.

Right. And then she says, my lord, to the servant. Right, like don't call me m'lady, call me my lord. Oh, is that what she's saying? Like I'm the man in this relationship. I think because he's being so emasculated in the social media. Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying.

So she's like, I'm a man. She's saying call me m'lord. Okay, I was like, go inside and do your mommy and wife thing, stop trying to be famous. That's what the comment was from Clarissa20. I mean, look, do I like that they're trying to make fun of themselves? Yeah, I think that's really cool.

Yeah, it's fun, it's nice. It's good. They just need help. Like they should have a comedian. Help them out a little. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Call like, who's good at these, you know?

Did we talk about watching Star? Brittany Furlan's good at like line and tech. Yeah, she is. You should contact her. Star Wars with the boys. Oh my God. So they've been doing this thing, by the way. I don't know if other people have the same experience where whenever you propose let's watch this new thing that you haven't seen they're like absolutely not. So like when Harry Potter,

like a couple years ago, I was like, let's watch Harry Potter. They're like, I don't want to watch that. No way. I hate Harry. Like I hate it. And you're like, why? They're great movies. And they're like, no, uh-uh. I'm not watching that. Same thing with Star Wars. I was like, let's watch Star Wars. They're like, no, no, no, no, I hate Star Wars.

You hate Star Wars? I hate it, it's the worst. And you're like, all right. And like another year would go by. And I'd be like, you want to watch Star Wars? Like, no, no, no, no, no. Star Wars is the worst and you're like what is going on? And then finally I'm like hey let's watch Star Wars the original and Ellis throws this huge thing he's like I just I want to watch anything else I'm like seriously and

he's like yeah let's just not even watch something I go how about just give it like 15 minutes and if you if you can't go, how about, just give it like 15 minutes. And if you can't, if you don't wanna watch it after 15 minutes, I'll turn it off. I'll find something else. He's like, ugh, fine. Few minutes in, Julian is just like, what is this? I'm like, Star Wars.

He's like, this is Star Wars? I go, yes. And he's like, this is Star Wars? I go, yes. And he's like, this is pretty good. I go, I know. And then Ellis is like, well, I've seen all of them. I'm like, wait a minute, you just said it's the worst. And he's like, yeah, I watched them all over at my buddy's house.

And I'm like, I go, so you've seen these all? He's like, yeah, yeah, I know what this is. I'm like, okay, cool, can we watch it? He's like, yeah, it's actually really good. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? That's so crazy. And then He's like, yeah, it's actually really good. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? That's so crazy. And then Julian is like, who is that? I go, it's Han Solo.

Han Solo? Yeah, he's like, what kind of name is that? I'm like, I don't know, he lives in fucking outer space. And he's like, Han? I go, yes. What's his last name? Solo. Han Solo. I'm like, yes. What's his real name? Solo. Han Solo.

I'm like, yes. What's his real name? I'm like Harrison Ford. He's like, oh. What's that thing he's talking to? I'm like, that's Chewbacca. Chew what? Chewbacca.

He's a Wookie. What's a Wookie? I go, that fucking thing. Who's the other guy? Luke Skywalker. What's his other guy? Luke Skywalker. What's his real name? Mark Hamill. Oh.

Is that his friend? I'm like, I guess. I don't know, dude. Can we watch the movie? No. What's happening? Why does he do that? Who's Darth?

Darth Vader? Darth Vader. Darth Vader. I go, yeah. How do you spell that? And now he wants to spell it. how do you spell that? Spell it. I can't just watch like a real bad guy. How is he bad? Yeah, how is he bad? He's just consumed with evil What does he do? That's evil. I'm like everything he hates everybody. That's alive. He wants everyone dead. He's like, oh

You know what I would do if I saw dark Darth Vader What he goes I'd go fuck you Double bird double I saw Darth Vader? And he goes, I'd go, fuck you. Double bird. Double bird to Darth Vader, yeah. Yeah. It's a whole thing. 25 minutes into that movie, I had answered at least 150 questions.

And then his mind is really blown that Leia is actually Luke's sister, and now I don't fucking explain that, doozy. Then we were, because we watched the original three, and then Luke's sister and now I'd if I can explain that do then we were because we watched the original three and then it's like So wait Darth is Luke's dad Yeah, and he goes But how is he is that he used to be his dad? Yeah, I mean it was Anakin Skywalker

And then he's kind of turned to the dark side of the force and he's kind of half man half machine what? I'm like, I don't know dude. It's fucking complicated. We just watch this fucking movie, please. It's so complicated Well, look Star Wars is the greatest story ever told. It's just good and evil. It's fantastic. Well, it's so many layers Do it. I mean, it's it's edible, right? I think why so many boys love it It's the idea of killing your father, which is part of the drama of being like a six or seven year old boy, you love your mother, you wanna kill your father.

You resolve these things in your brain, but I think that's why it really like, you see that as a kid, and on a subconscious level, you're like, wow, this is a wild story, the guy's gotta kill his own father. How do you do that? And then there's the idea of succumbing to the dark side of the force. Well, what is the dark side of the force? It's the darkness within you. Well, what does that mean? It could be anything, addictions, bad feelings,

low energy behaviors. George Lucas was amazing. Such a good story. Obsessed with that. Eastern philosophy? No, that what's that? my god this this tale of I think it's an old Irish, an old Irish tale. We studied in college about like he was really fascinated with this author and it was stories of like you know Star Wars is just like adapting you know an old philosophy story of good versus evil, essentially. It's these same tales, right? Just retold in a different way. But it was...

Oh, shit, Pac-Man's calling me. No way. I think we should answer that. Really? Yeah. Pac-Man Jones. All right. What's up, man?

Hey. Hey. When I call you, answer your goddamn phone. I just did. I did. I'm doing a a podcast what's going on? What's up, man Okay, okay, all right, I like the hat bro and the teeth Yeah, who day all the way

Hey send me a link Oh yeah, it's who day baby. Yeah, who day all the way. You should check out this shit T. Hey, send me a link. I will, I'll send it to you. Alright, everything. I'm good, how are you doing? I'm good. Yeah? Yeah, you know I ignore the noise.

Yeah, I know, there's a lot of- I ignore it, but like, shut the fuck up people. Yeah, that's right. I work for my fucking self, like, motherfucker why are you fucking- what? You talking about ID, what? You talking about how I did what? Bro, you got the wrong guy, bro. Wrong guy. That's what I told you.

You should tell him that. I did give him a little nudge. I ain't gonna lie between us. Oh yeah, that motherfucker, yeah, yeah. I gave him a little nudge, but I wasn't trying to hurt him with that. I bet. I don't know.

It probably could have gone way differently. I'm glad you just. Could have went a little bit worse. Yeah, yeah. I thought I did pretty good. How are you doing on the links today? We just started. Oh, you just started?

Alright, cool, man. Alright, call me, bro. Alright, bro. Everything good? Yeah, everything's good, man. Everything's good. Hey, what kind of shoes you got on right quick? Let me see what you got on. They're running shoes, bro. Let me see. Damn, you let me down, bro.

Yeah, well they're... Hey, I bet my boy, I'm like, he fucking got J's on right now. Nah, I just came from the gym though, man. I came from the gym. He's a fucking upset today, bro. I love you. I love you.

I love you too, bro. Okay, bye. Bye. That was insane. Insane. He shit on your shoes, babe. Yeah, no, cause they're like, he's like, he's got J's on.

He had a bet going. Oh. So I just let him down. Well, who was the other fella? I don't know. I actually don't I didn't recognize him But he had all diamond teeth. It was cool. Oh cool. Yeah, dude. That's what you need to get next You think so? A hundred percent. Do you know who that was? Oh, wait, is this the yeah, Joseph Campbell? That's who I was thinking of. Thank archetypes, of course. So Joseph Campbell's, we read about, we did a whole thing about this in college. Yes, of course. Joseph Campbell, it's about mythology, the myths.

Sorry, the archetypes. Yes, it's fantastic. I said Irish, but I think I just got thrown by the name. I was just reading him. What's the fucking one I was just reading? My memory is a dog shit. Fuck my brain. What's that guy, babe?

Say it. My brain is so fucking stupid. I don't remember. My brain. I don't remember. Now, Mio's the fucking, what is his big book, Joseph, The Power of Myth? Yes, The Power of Myth.

And it talks about the archetypes that exist in life the father the mother the the maiden All these are human archetypes that exist you know I gotta find all about that we I remember a while back Power of myth I had found There's a story out there about Lucas shopping this script. And it's so funny to think of like a studio exec in the 70s reading and being like, fucking a what? A wookie? Yeah, it's Chewbacca. And he's trying to like explain, well, yeah, you know, he's like, this is goofier than shit, man. We're not making this.

And like, I'm sure because it had to have been turned down by so many people oh for sure it was too weird So I remember there's a great story about how Jim Henson got the Muppets on television It was Brillstein Gray did the show and he's pitching it to Bernie Brillstein Jim Henson And you know Henson was just a stoner with puppets. And they were like, there's some way we can commodify this, we don't know how. And so Henson and Brilstein are in a restaurant, and I think Bernie Brilstein goes, I know what it is.

It's Hee Haw with puppets. You know that stupid show, fucking Hee Haw? And that's it, that's how they pitched stuff in the 70s, because shit was so wild back then. Like Hee Haw, Google Hee Haw, it's the stupidest fucking show you've ever seen. Yeah, it's like hillbillies popping up in cornfields. And it's like segments.

So that's how he pitched it. Yeah, it's Hee Haw with puppets. And I thought, oh, that's so brilliant. That is a really good pitch. See, look at this stupid two characters, and it's all making fun of Southern people. And what do you call a gorilla with an attitude you know yeah and they're jumping up in cornfields popping yeah

it's like the stupidest shit but then laughing was big in the 60s so this was like after laughing I don't know you see this guy by the way I know you like this Oh, I missed that. Let me see. Yeah, he farted live on CNN. Yes, you are. You are live with me. Ben on the CNN. He knew he was about to go live.

He just beefed. He crazy. Yeah, he knew he was about to go live. He just beefed. He crazy. Yeah, he knew he was about to be live He did a full lean. Yeah, you can't do that on CNN, bro. He's like, oh, sorry. Sorry about that. Anyway Let's move on like no you need to talk the whole segments gotta be about your fart down, bro And look the other guy knows he's yeah, the guy's like you're live Fucking beef the whole world just saw you rip ass, sir. Fucking idiot. Speaking of farting.

Yeah. I am so excited. So if you're watching, if you're listening to the podcast today, June 25th, the day this is coming out, later today, we are debuting, finally, Fancy vs. Philip. My good friend, Philip Franklin Lee, the Michelin star chef who has sushi by scratch,

he has pasta bar, NADC with Neen Williams, also does the podcast together, Not a Damn Chance podcast. He's a fantastic, phenomenal chef. So I got him to do a competition with Fancy Chef. And it was unbelievable. And I have a quick, I'm just giving you a little sneak peek. Just a sneak peek about some of what went on that day. It was unbelievable I'm in Texas, I'm in Texas, I'm in Texas, I'm in Texas.

Fancy fire, reaching out to one of his phone numbers. Insane. Insanity. The glass inspires the dish. That's the quantity. That's the glass. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Oh yeah. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice.

Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice.

Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. Oh my god! That was unbelievable. That was a dream come true. To have the two kind of highest level chefs I know go at it. It was just real competition. See who can come up with what. It was really a treat. I feel so lucky.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm was just real competition, see who can come up with what. It was really a treat, I feel so lucky. It was unbelievable. Wow. The full cut is just incredible. I mean the tension in the room, these guys going at it back and forth, high level guys, just their minds racing and all the flavors that we had, it was just,

I'm so sorry you couldn't make it that day. It was unbelievable. No, I had stuff going on. The phone's ringing is what really adds to the adrenaline rush going on. Yeah, raw footage. Just, we didn't tell him to ever turn them off. Don't turn off a ringer, bro.

You got six phone lines. Is not, though, the most impressive thing that you've seen that he can rattle off every number? It's pretty crazy. Isn't that incredible to you? Cause I don't think I know my own phone number. Well, I don't know more than maybe two numbers. Yeah.

He just was like, boom. It's, he's savant like with that. That and cooking. Yes, of course. May I ask you, what was the dessert that you were sampling? Oh, so he, I mean, I don't wanna give it away, but I'll just tell you. No, no, don't give it away.

I mean, there was fresh berries, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and I think it's rum-infused whipped cream. Mm, how does he do that, I wonder? They sell it out of the can. And. And. Got it, wow. It's Cardi B's, oh sorry, vodka infused whipped cream. So it's whipped

cream that has, and he was like, I just came up with that on the spot and there was like a mint leaf on it. It was so different. Yeah. It was beautiful. Was Philip worried when he saw Fancy and what F Was Philip worried? Oh yeah. When he saw Fancy and what Fancy was bringing? First of all, Fancy came in wearing a chef's outfit. Yeah, and Philip did not. Philip was like, oh, I'm just wearing my regular clothes. Like, well, mistake number one.

Yeah. You know? You had to come correct. Yeah. You had to come styled. Yeah. Well, I can't wait to watch the whole thing. It looks fantastic.

It was incredible. It looks delicious too. Yeah, it was really, really. Most importantly, a delicious time. Really spectacular. whole thing it looks fantastic it was incredible it looks delicious too yeah it was really really most importantly really spectacular yeah you can watch this fancy versus Philip battle at 5 p.m. Central here on the YMH YouTube channel so I got something for you ready okay Ready? Always. Fuck! Okay. Was that a suicide? No.

Nah. No. It was, she was trying to clean her windows. Yeah, it's in Russia. 80 years old. Yeah, walked away with bruises. No. Yeah.

Telling you, the Slobs have built difference, man. Isn't that incredible? Wow. I mean that is hard the way. Now let's see it again. Fuck. She was like, ah shit. Dude that didn't, okay.

Bruises. Someone was like, all right, you're gonna hire someone to clean the windows. She's like, all right. Fuck, she just fell out. Can I tell you something? Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah man.

Falling out of your window is Extremely easy. I had a friend in college who Fell out of a third story window. He was at a house party There was a band playing and he was with this girl and the room got progressively Fuller and fuller and he just got backed in backed in and he and this girl He was behind her. Backed into the- She's leaning on him. Right, and then whoop, out the third story window,

he falls first, she falls on top of him. He's in a coma for three weeks. And he's never been the same. Broke a bunch of shit, it was horrible. And she was fine? No, she didn't make it. She didn't make it? Yeah.

From the third story? Yes. Damn. So yeah. And she landed second? Oh wait, I'm sorry. Wrong story. Wrong.

She was fine, but she felt really guilty that he wasn't. Sorry. That was the story. I forgot that. Sorry. She survives and she doesn't have as much trauma and injury as my friend did. But he's never been the same.

He was really, really, really like super intelligent before that happened and then like. And then do you have another story about someone who died? No, no, I'm probably just mixing up clips that we've seen on the show. Different traumatic things. Well first of all, we've never played someone who didn't make it, so that's in your head.

No, of course, yeah, never played someone who didn't make it. So that's in your head. No, of course. Yeah, come on. Come on now. This is fun music. Is that a Bucky's? Fuck these big ass buses, man. Bro. I think you're gonna hit the car pretty hard. No? Oh.

Get out of there! Get out of there! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa That could happen right here in Texas. That was insane. That was one of the craziest things I've seen. Dude, I'm so afraid of that happening to me. The logic too, like your brain, sometimes your brain doesn't, you know, like he's just like, oh, block the thing from hitting my car and not adding up how much force and pressure. I mean, I don't think he's going to stand up straight ever again for the rest of his life. Cause the way where it smushed all his internal organs, like the important things, the cars. My car's not scratched.

That's cool. But it literally got him like stomach, spleen, liver, kidneys, everything mushed. By the way, buy Christina P. List. He sustained a serious injury to his hip. He's a stain or color a serious injury. I come to his hip That's where you that's where he got hurt his hip I'm sorry. Didn't mean an interesting time to plug the lipstick Do you want to do that again?

Christina P calm four shades You can get an atomic red perfect red Madison and Berlin christinapeat.com buy all four I Got one more for you. Oh fuck off ready Yes Guess what okay, yeah, she's okay come on. I got the weirdest text okay, so you know this phone used to belong to the weirdest texts. Okay. So you know this phone used to belong to... Yeah. You and I are more than friends. We're like a really small gang, minus the weapons and cool jackets. Okay. That's probably spam. Do you know what I've been doing now? So I used to always say I'm ambassador cart, right? Yeah. Right. And it was like, and then get them to be like,

I'm sorry, what? I'm like, this is ambassador. You know, the state department's gonna visit you. Like all this. So what I do now, like I got one like a week ago that was like, hey, Jessica, it's me, Kathy. Are you ready for lunch? Yeah. I just go, yeah, where are we eating lunch?

And then they go, wait, where are you? I go, I'm outside, where are you? And then they don't like, they're, they always are looking for,? And then they go, wait, where are you? I go, I'm outside, where are you? And then they don't, like, they're, they always are looking for, you're supposed to go, that's not me, that's, Right. Oh, I'm so sorry. So I just, I affirm everything now.

Oh. And then they just stop. You go, you know what I mean? Like, whatever they say, just like, you just, yes, Anna. So I should say, you and I are more than friends. We're like a really small gang, minus the weapons. LOL, for sure, homie. Yeah. weapons. LOL, for sure, homie. Oh my God, for sure, homie.

Just add to it, and then they just go like, when they're like, wait, who is this? You go, no, wait, who is this? Who the fuck is this, bro? I thought you were my homie. What's up, bitch? Are we going out later? Yeah, let's go.

Oh, let me add that. Are we hanging later? What's up, bro? It's more fun actually. It is so much fun, yeah. Because they're looking for you to just like try to dismiss them. Yeah, so they can be like... No, I want to hang out.

Why? How come we're not friends more? I miss you. I miss you, girl. I'm thinking about you. Let's hang out. Let's see if they're not going to ring back. You're right. Yeah, because they want you to be like, who is this?

Oh, I'm so sorry. This is Caitlin. And then they go well, it's okay. Like let's just hang out chat Yeah, and then and then they need they need fucking what's it called? Oh, you move your phone. They need fucking Bitcoin shit Did you see this this was done by one of our Oh Scott Welsh Yeah, oh, Scott Welsh. Yeah, I know that name. Yeah, yeah, he does a lot of stuff on Instagram, and he's been doing things like this for a long time, really cool ones, but this one was really, really special.

And that's when I decided I'm going to murder my mother. I knew a week before she died I was gonna kill her. And she went out to a party. She got soused She came home went to sleep. I was woken up by that I got came out I Walked up to her bed She's laying there reading a paperback This many thousands of nights before and she said oh I suppose you're gonna want to sit up all night and talk now Now look to her I said no good night

And I knew us gonna kill her, you know Pretty cool. That's really cool. I like that. Charo's reading my son is a sociopath a psychopath. Yeah Yeah, and they did a really good charo really good really good you your teeth are awful in this well That's right. It's real audio. Yeah, I know. That's from Ed Kemper. He was goofball, killed his mom in real life. Yeah, I figured as much. There he is.

Yeah. Big guy, smart guy too. Sure, why is he smart? He had a really high IQ. Oh, they just. He was really intelligent, yeah. Some of them are. Yeah.

Some of them are. Yeah, six, nine nine big fuck, huh? Six knowing he's six knowing damn dude. That's tall shit IQ of 145. Oh, it's like place them in the genius range Yeah, wow, thank you for sharing this is a real neat guy Too bad that that city killed besides his mommy some other broads. He had a real problem with. Too bad that that... A lot of city killers find his mommy. Some other broads... He had a real problem with killing women. They usually do.

Yeah. How it goes. Was he so alive? He murdered seven women. Yeah, one girl. Uh-oh. He murdered his paternal grandparents when he was 15. And most of his non-familial victims were female college students hitchhiking, which is something you can't even do anymore.

I know. There is no like hitchhiking kind of culture anymore. Well, look, if I were one of these clowns, you know what I would do? Get on the dating apps. Start killing that way. Yeah. Hey, come meet me at this fucking bar, dark ass place. With a phony picture? You have to do a phony picture.

The whole identity. Yeah. And this dumb broad show up. But you have to pick somebody, wait, because if you, it's interesting, right? If you do a full catfish thing, then the woman's there looking for this other guy. And you know who she is.

She has no idea, right? But do you wanna pick somebody who's close to what you look like so that she engages, so you're just like waiting? No, no, so here's what you're gonna do. First of all, I know who you're gonna fucking go after. One of these Disney adult losers. You're talking to me?

No, I'm just saying in general, if you wanted to kill somebody. Go after one of these losers, these Disney fucking adults. Jesus, you're so aggressive. Hold on, on these specific sites where they're like, I'm a rope dropper. What was the other one? One of these fucks?

Yeah, one of these dorks. Park closer. I'm a park closer, I'm a rope dropper. And you get this girl all juiced up on how down you are for Disney. Yeah. You set up a meeting time, you stand her up. Just like this fishing.

Yeah. Oh, what happened? Your date didn't show up? I'm so sorry, but you're wearing a Disney shirt that she can cling to? Why don't you hang out with me? Let's go for a walk around Lake Austin. And then now you fucking strangle her ass and put her in the fucking lake.

Oh, I see. So I just happen to be, I have my Mickey Mouse shirt on and I'm like, oh. This is so weird. No, I'm just crazy. You're into this stuff? You like Disney? I love this stuff. God, this guy's a real loser. I'm sorry you got crazy. You're into this stuff? You like doozy? I love this stuff. Oh shit.

God, this guy's a real loser. Well I'm sorry you got, somebody did that to you. Shit. Yep. It's not a fucking right way to retreat someone. Yo, and these nerds are like in Orlando. Yeah. Easiest place to dump a body is Florida.

All the swamps, the gators, they just chew everything. Yeah, go to the Everglades and you just dude. Feed the gators. For fucking sure, homie. Yeah. What do you want? Sounds like you've kind of For fucking sure, homie. Yeah. What do you want? Sounds like you've kind of thought this through a little bit.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like it's off the top of your head. Well, it is actually. Okay. Pretty cool. I just think these nerds, like these, you have to go to like a specific nerd culture because then they're really, they're really looking for it.

You know what I'm saying? They're willing to block out a lot of stuff just like that guy that got catfish the 14 year old ass eater Man kills husband and wife over debt and dumps bodies in the swamp, Florida. That's where you dump a body Oh, yeah, we've been thinking about this for a long time. He killed a couple. Huh? Let's see a Man is accused of fatally shooting a married couple leaving their bodies in a swamp because he believed the husband had stolen 30,000 from him. Jesus. A jury now convicted of 39 year old Todd Jackson to counts of first degree murder, armed kidnapping, burglary,

occupied dwelling with a firearm and tampering with physical evidence. I like that that one thing says believed meaning that maybe that didn't happen. Yeah. But a judge sentencedencing to life in prison. Let's see They realized law enforcement suspected them. Okay Bankers found no suspicious transactions would indicate the victims stole from his bank account We further argued that while the co-defense had numerous motives to commit the crime, Mr. Jackson had none. No physical evidence linked Mr. Jackson to the crime scene. Well, okay.

I mean, 30 grand, that's enough to murder somebody over. Yeah. That's a lot of scratch. But it seems like there's nothing that connects them to that, like the couple? Did they actually do that? Doesn't seem like it. I just found the story. I'm not sure the whole backstory of it, but yeah.

Deputies used a surveillance technique that Nichols said her stepfather was the one who shot and killed the couple because he thought Raymond Klein had stolen 30,000 from him. That is a lot to do if you go, I think this guy took money from me. Like you don't know.

Feels like you'd wanna know for sure. You'd wanna confirm it. But then you'd also wanna be able to get your money back before you kill that guy. Like I would be like, hey dude, here's your chance to give it back to me. And then when he doesn't, I fucking murder him. Kill that guy.

Right? Like you want your money back. You want your money back, yeah. 30 grand. That's a lot of scratch, bro. That's a lot of dough, yeah. Yeah, give me my fucking money bitch bitch Dummy, yeah, see so many bodies I don't like that. I don't fucking see that

I broke my ankle. I don't want to see that I broke my ankle. I don't want to see this It was just dislocated he put it back on yeah, I don't want to see this this happened to me remember Yeah, when they said we you watch them didn't you? They usually put you on They didn't give her ketamine or am ketamine or anything. don't know. Oh, wait, wait. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay, it came back to me. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay, hold on. Homie, wait, isn't this Jenny? Yes. Fuck yeah, it is. Yes, it's Jenny. Yes, dummy. Yeah, see, this is the fun way to do it. Yes, dummy, it's Jenny.

Who the fuck are you? No. Yes, dummy, it's Jenny. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. Homie, wait, isn't this Jenny? Yes, dummy, it's Jenny. Yeah, of course. Homie, wait, isn't this Jenny? Yes, dummy, it's Jenny. Let's see what this fucking idiot says back.

It's so much more fun. It's so much more fun, yeah. Okay, wait, when they reset my ankle, they put me, that's when I had to get a knee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't even give this poor motherfucker Xanax. Fuck. Dude, that ankle was completely off.

I know, I saw it. I don't want to see it. No, no, no. Then he had like the... Stop. That like flutter. He's like, whoa. I don't like this. I know, I don't like it, dude. You fucking show me this.

What kind of fucking hospital is this? I mean it's kind of it's not here. I'll tell you that. Yes for sure. Give him drugs bro. Oh shit. Oh fuck Enny you're here. Enny's back. Nice we missed you. Mmmhmm.

We need a stop sign. I'm just strolling in. You can't do that. Why is he late to work? You can't do that. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy.

I came in late. Only I can do that. This is fucking, I can't believe I work here. This is so fucking dumb. Where have you been? We miss you. Yeah, where the fuck have you been, bro? I'm fucking working, man. I'm working in the other city.

I got a bunch to do. OK, all right. Okay. Okay. All right. So we need to get some Negro spiritual music to play when any gets on the mic. Can we get that for him please? What? You want to get some of those tracks? Do another one. Those are funny. Whole white baby, bruh. White baby So funny, you know I'm saying I'm gonna drop dead my life I'm saying and not jail yeah Shit you want to see some of your talks? Fucking always, dude.

Fucking insane. Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious. Yep. He packaged a damaged old TV and then it was stolen. Isn't that fucking amazing? That's amazing. So for those people just listening,

if you wanna get rid of an old television. This is a ring camera from a front porch where a guy took his old shitty TV, packaged and taped it up and put it on his front porch. Yeah, you make it look like it's a delivery box and people will just take it. And then some piece of shit just stole it, yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna start doing that.

Yeah, that's awesome. This is a shitty spray tan product. Yeah, I'm gonna start doing that. Yeah, that's awesome Is that a woman yeah A lot of hair it is her. It's a lot of hair. It is hair. It's a lot of hair, right? A lot of, oh. It looks like chest and facial hair? Yeah, some broads have a lot of hormonal stuff. Now, it looks like hormonal hair. It doesn't look like dude hair, do you know what I'm saying? Right, okay.

Yeah, broads sometimes have to take off the hair. That's quite a bit. Yeah, that's quite a bit of... I know. Also that's real dark. Real chocolatey, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's real dark. Real chocolatey, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was way too dark.

Yeah, probably. Maybe go a shade lighter next time. You've got to be conservative with spray tan or any self-tanner. Yeah. Because then it looks the best. Conservative is always the way to go with everything. You know, any facial work I'm saying, like teeth, stuff like that. You know, crazy.

Don't go too far. Yeah. Yeah Our kids don't have bedtimes they don't have any restrictions on any kind of media and they can eat what they want when they want Now when somebody first hears that they tend to think well I'm about to say that just sounds like candles I know and most people think that if you would have told me that 15 years ago I would have believed the same thing. However, they make really good choices for themselves. Yeah, I mean, the kids have total freedom to, you know, anything from jumping on the trampoline at two in the morning to staying up late, you know.

How late do the kids go to bed sometimes? Yeah, well, I mean, just last night, I basically said, what do you think, Orion? Are you ready to go to bed? And it was 3.05 AM. And he said, yeah, I'm tired. And how old is he? And he's five.

Cool. I do little jobs, you know? They may go to bed and get up late, but a rules-free lifestyle doesn't mean the Martin kids sit on their hands. There we go. Devin, the eldest, spends much of his time learning practical skills, like woodwork and blacksmithing.

That's cool. If I'm interested in woodworking, then I'm gonna woodwork. You know, if I'm interested in a video game, I'm gonna play that video game. You know, whatever I want to do, I can do. Have you looked at subjects, though? Like, if you went to school, you'd do history, geography, math, English. If I wanted to, I would. I'm learning what I'm doing,

and I'm doing it pretty well, I like to think. And I figured I can learn almost anything that way. History would be easier, just go online and read about it. So you can learn a lot from online, you can learn a lot from YouTube, I guess. Yeah, we call it the University of YouTube, or YouTube University. Have you ever thought that you might like to go to school?

I've thought about it a few times for about four seconds and I realized, of course not. Why would I want to leave this life and go to school? It's fascinating. It's fascinating. Yeah, it's definitely a way. I remember meeting, knowing of, I should say, somebody who did this type of parenting. Okay, like free, total free reign. Yeah. Okay. And what happened? I don't know. I don't know what happened. I know that the person that had access to this family is the one that told me about it was like, it's not that cool to witness. Well, listen, I think from a parenting perspective,

having everybody on a schedule just puts you at ease. Because if your kid's up, your five year old, until 3 a.m., that means your ass is up at 3 a.m. Watching them jump on a fucking trampoline. And I'm not interested in that, bro. I don't think so either, man. That was, that's, I mean, I understand that there's like, there's something cool about this. Like, I think the fact this kid's like learning

blacksmith work or whatever, you know, he's like that kind of thing, you're like, oh, that's pretty rad. But the fact that there's no, like people, I think kids want boundaries, they want, you know what I mean? Yeah, they need it. They need it to, because if they're always anxious about, well, when's the next thing coming? Like, when is dinner?

When is sleeping time? Then their brains aren't free to learn. I thought, because I saw this is from the vaults, I thought we were gonna get a 10-year update. Oh, I went. That's what I thought was happening on this. Can you search for that, Josh? That would be really cool. Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

I mean, I hope he takes that stupid door knocker out of his fucking nose. Yeah. It looks dirty too. You need everything on a fucking shower? Congratulations, Jared. Congratulations, Jared. Congratulations, Jared! I'm coming out! Alright, this is for my friend Jared who came out recently and I have to apologize. This was sent on Friday and I'm just not getting to it. So I'm sorry Jared. Good for you. I'm happy for you know that you are loved in your special okay thank you very much

you don't like that no no I mean the the you know the the reason for the message is nice congratulating someone coming out that's great you know, the reason for the message is nice. Congratulating someone on coming out, that's great. You don't like that positive? The voice is terrible. Whatever, potato potato. No, whatever. Maybe that's a really nice voice. Mariah Carey was known for her high pitched.

This does not sound like Mariah Carey. Singing. It does not sound like Mariah Carey. Yet, the power of yet. Make it Markle, yet. She's not She's not a Mariah Carey singer yet I haven't taken a shit today. Yeah Yet.

The moment of grand opening epic universe. This is the murder gallery we're going to to kill everybody. Wow, I like seeing all these fat people running. That's good. This is madness. Jesus Christ. This is so cool. This is a new exhibit? I guess. Oh my gosh.

Yeah, I guess this is Euro. It looks like Euro Disney. The grand opening of Epic Universe. Epic Universe. Wow. Wow. I've only seen one kid. Everyone's waving. I've seen one kid so far. All right.

Hold on. What does it say there? Epic Universe, a new theme park located in Orlando, Florida, officially open May 22nd. 750-acre park features the five themed areas, Celestial Park, Dark Universe, How to Train Your Dragon, Isle of Berk, Super Nintendo World, and the Wizardry Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Ministry of Magic. All good things. All fine.

Yeah. There's no kids in this video. You know, is that one fucking cat I see? Scroll up a little bit, just a hair. So Celestial Park serves as the gateway to the other lands. It includes attractions like Stardust Racers, Constellation Carousel. Dark Universe is a shadowy world inspired by Universal's

classic movie Monsters. Featuring attractions like the Monsters Unchained, How to Train Your Dragons, obviously based on that world of dragons, Super Nintendo world, immersive land featuring attractions like Mario Kart, and of course the Harry Potter one, pretty self-explanatory there. All right, so it's a new park.

I didn't know that. Great, and again, I would probably love to take our children to it, but these are all adults geeking out and running. These are all fat adults running and geeking out. You know, I feel like you're gonna get some backlash for this. I don't give a fucking shit. All these people need to be in mental institutions.

This is ridiculous. For the record, don't agree, everybody. Don't agree. I think she's wrong. These adults that are into this stuff, this is mental illness, guys. They just like what you like and if it makes you happy, just go there.

Just don't make videos. If you like what you like, do it privately. This dork puts it online. Oh my God. Piss pops is today, Sunday, May 4th from four to nine p.m. For the location info, hit me up in my DMs and I'll send it on over. 35 bucks at the door.

It's $35 at the door. Piss pops today. And follow your snout and sniff Chipper out. But we missed it on May 4th. How is this different than the last video? How? How is this different? This is for adults, babe.

This is piss play. Piss pups. Yeah. It's for adults piss on each other. It's different. Well, we needed for the piss pups to go to the fucking new park. They need to go to the dark,

how to train your dragon. To spray everywhere? And just to sniff with their snouts and just piss everywhere, yeah. They need their own amusement park, the pups. I would, by the way, just to train your dragon. To spray everywhere? And just to sniff with their snouts and just piss everywhere, yeah. They need their own amusement park, the pups. I would, by the way, just to put it out there, if the piss pups are listening, I would fund this venture.

Oh yeah. If you guys would go as a group to piss all over this new park, I'll pay for it. Oh, for fucking sure, I would too. Or a piss pups park park that would be fucking amazing that'd be rad too just a bunch of gay guys oh wow fuck this shit the worst thing ever fuck this kids fuck I was in Mexico City that's No, it happens everywhere. Like this?

Oh, you're right. Yeah, yeah. It happens all over the world. I shouldn't be so racist. No, you're right. This is during a storm. Shit. And it looks like they have to stop the ride because of the storm.

Just the weather. Well, just lower it. There must be some mechanical failure. Just lower it. Lower the guy. I thought I would be up there going, lower the fucking thing! And like, they saw the weather coming. They couldn't have lowered these poor people well I think they probably got stuck that it's not about that

It's probably the storms coming and they're like, hey, and they got stuck at the same time This is just bad timing. Yeah, it is. It is man. Daddy Reese wouldn't be happy with that They are stuck up there in Mexico City By the way, I didn't realize that the other day... There's a closing song here. It's called Anywhere's Those Pants. It's by Jumpman Studios.

Hell yeah, dawg. You wanna hear it? It's our closing song. Thank you for watching, thank you for listening. Check it out, here's a new song. Don't pull all my fucking strings There it is man Vagina! There it is man I'm close I would punch yourself if you thought me far Vagina!

Dude so many dudes I'm pulling my fucking... Vagina! Can't make my dad white I'm a worker You know I'mma work I'm close. I'll set you up, dude. What? Wait, what? You are so beautiful. As I can fuck you up. What? As I can fuck you up. I'm close.

I'm using the dude's name. Good morning, good morning. Good morning, Julia. Look at you. Good morning, Julia. Oh my God, is he gonna fuck me up? I'm so close. I'm so close.

I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm so close. I'm used to the dudes saying bad things about me. Good morning, good morning. Good morning, Julia. Look at you.

Good morning, Julia. Oh my god, is he gonna fuck that? I'll set the table. Look at you. Good morning, good morning. The greatest moments of my life. Look at you. Good morning, good morning.

Oh my god, is he gonna fuck that? Get out, baby. You're welcome. That was amazing. Thank you.