Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Joe DeRosa Is Vile & Horrendous | Your Mom's House Ep. 842

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

SPONSORS: - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. - New Customers Bet $5 Get $300 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #DKPartner - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/ymh This week, Christina P holds down the fort while Tom Segura is away, and she’s joined by comedian Joe DeRosa, who will soon be joining the YMH family with a podcast of his own entitled "Vile & Horrendous". He helps Christina along for for an absolutely off the rails episode packed with wild clips, hot takes, and some classic YMH energy. From an unexpectedly epic saxophone intro, to a disturbing church meltdown, to Christina’s meticulously curated TikTok insanity, this episode spirals fast, before finally landing on a brutally accurate breakdown of boring corporate fast food culture. The house they filmed Home Alone in is also in sale and looks like an insane place to live in! So strap in, stay black, keep those jeans high and tight. Your Mom’s House Ep. 842 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, [phone] or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $300 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Token expires 2/1/26. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 1/25/26 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:50 - Facts Of Life Girls & Vintage Collectables 00:08:30 - Not About That Weed 00:14:45 - Opening Clip: Can't Make Friends 00:20:33 - Saxophone 00:26:36 - Clip: Crazy Church Man 00:37:35 - Joe DeRosa Is Vile & Horrendous 00:48:01 - Lipshitz Plug 00:49:36 - Christina's Curations 01:03:49 - Home Alone House & Boring Corporate Fast Food 01:09:40 - Closing Song -"Cool Girl Club" By Versace Kolache Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Mercy is coming to theaters January 23rd. This is the Mercy Corps powered by artificial intelligence. Detective Raven, you're charged with the murder of your wife. I'm not guilty. You have 90 minutes to prove it. Or you will be executed. He must use the tools.

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Happy New Year, everybody. I'm so happy to be back. Tim is in Los Angeles working on bad thoughts, too. But to keep me company is the most fantastic Joe DeRosa, everybody. I'm so glad you're here.

Do you always call him Tim? Or is that an accident? Well, I'm Christine and he's Tim. People call us that over the years. And so now we, we just call ourselves at. People call me Christine my whole life. Okay.

Do people call you something other than Joe? No, but they will say, does it have an E? And I go, yes, because I'm not a woman. Yeah. But, you know, yeah. Because Joe is just, J.O. is from Facts of Life, Joe, the lesbian mechanic. Yes. Yeah.

Who was not a lesbian. Because they couldn't say lesbian yet. Oh, right. They had to pretend like she loved you. Can you bring out Joe from facts of life? On looks alone, would you say that she, He is into dudes. She was my favorite, though.

She was the best. I thought she was the hottest of all of them. What? What? Everybody thought Blair was the hottest. Blair was the hottest. Blair's, you know, it's milk toast, man. Wow.

She's a sexy woman, but it's milk toast. But Joe was the one I liked. I like a chick with a little... No. I like it. With the feathered? I had the same fucking haircut in third grade. It's so embarrassing.

I like a chick with a little dirt arm. All right. You know? All right. I think we're sleeping on Tootie. Look at her top left there. Tudy was hot. She's younger, so you couldn't really think about her.

But she's beautiful. At the time, Tudy didn't do anything for me. Then in the later years, was it Living Single? Was that what Tudy was on? We are living single. Right? 90s kind of world. That was a great show.

And then her hottest to me is the sitcom that she's on Mike Epps. Oh, is there? Like new sitcom. She's great. She's so hot. I was like, holy shit. I don't think I ever realized Tudy's so hot. Tudy's hot.

And you know that her mother, Chip Fields, ran an acting school that I was in when I was 12 years old. Chip Fields. And her mother was an actress too. And, yeah. And her mother had a cookie company also, right? Stupid. Mrs. Mrs.

We know it. Wait, this is Tudy's mom? Yeah. Chip Fields in real life. Chip Fields. She was in, was she an episode of Good Times? I forget. She was a sitcom actress, too.

She did a lot of stuff. Cool lady, good family. Blair also holding it together in the later years. Yeah. She still looks pretty great. I'm not saying everybody else doesn't. I'm just saying, you know. Yeah, and I like that they gave Joe a Polack name, Joe Polnichek, and that made her tough.

Yes. Yeah, here she is. That Blair held up. Blair held up. Wow. Oh, good for her. Now, who knows what kind of surgery magic she's doing, but she held up. She's got the right amount.

That's the secret is just the right amount. You don't want to go too crazy with that. I've been in my head ever since I said, do you always call him Tim? Because now the listeners, I feel like on a podcast, if you go, wait, is that a thing when it's a running thing on the pod? Everybody goes, oh, so he doesn't listen to the pod. You know what? You're out making comedy.

You're not listening to your mom's house. I don't listen to any podcasts. Do you? Occasionally Rogan because I do like the UFO peeps that he has on. Sure. It's hard to listen to your friends talk on a fucking podcast because you're like, I could hear this clown talking in the green room at mothership. I don't need to download you.

I can't think of one pot I listen to with any regularity whatsoever. You know what? No. Because I watch a lot of YouTube. So I watch YouTube shows regularly, which, you know, like video game influencers and stuff like that. I'm sorry, what? Like video game. Like my 10-year-old video game.

Take it easy. Take it easy. These are 55-year-old men. I just got the chills. Is it like, I know you're talking about those guys that play the game and then they walk you through how they're playing it? Dad, I don't watch unless I'm stuck on a game and I need to figure out to get past something. No, no, there's guys that'll do channels about, like,

Like collecting, like retro game collecting. Like, okay, so my friend Pat Contry is somebody that does that. Metal Jesus. I'm sorry. Retro game collecting. Like vintage. Like Pac-Man. You're going to collect Pac-Man?

Like Nintendo. Okay. Systems from the 80s and 90s. Those games are collectible. A lot of them are worth a lot of money. There are games out there that are worth $50,000, $100,000. Really? Yeah.

Is that Pat? Not so. No, but anyway, Metal Jesus Rocks is a channel I watch. Okay. GameSack. But I like collecting. I like collecting. So I'll also watch, like, record collectors, and I'll watch movie collectors.

Okay. Dead Pit Radio, I watch, they're horror movie guys, and they collect all the special edition horror movies that come out. So I watch that to learn about, like, what's the next edition of whatever. May I ask you something, though? Because the collecting thing, it seems like it's contingent on. on the demand for that thing, correct? Yeah.

So how do you know when to sell the item? How do you know the time is hot? Like when someone dies and then you're like, oh, Leonardo DiCaprio, I'm going to sell my edition of Titanic? That will never be worth anything. What? Even when he's dead. There will be no addition of Titanic worth anybody.

You're not a fan of Titanic? No, no. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying it was so mass produced. It's like it's not a thing that will be worth. worth anything. But most things that are worth something in the collectible world are things that were produced in a short run.

Oh. Therefore, some of the most valuable video games are terrible video games. Nobody bought them. They were produced in a short run because there was no demand, and now they're extremely rare and very valuable. Yeah, it's weird. It is weird. I don't know when you know to sell it.

I'm not in it to I'm not like flipping it like houses. Oh, okay. I get stuff because I want it and I want to collect it. So I don't know if the, I don't know. If you told me this thing's worth 10 grand, I would probably sell it. But I don't know. Because I'm silently judging you right now in my head and being like, this guy's a fucking loser, nerd, dork, shithead.

And then I, in my head, I'm going, yeah, but dickhead, you have, you know, the Susie and the Banche's first edition. I get it. Christine single. I have Bauhaus records that are like purple. I, you know, I'm a goth collector. I got to be, first of all, you were not. Go ahead, who's gay or you?

No, no, no, no. But you weren't that silent. I love that you thought I couldn't tell you were judging me. Your face was like drooping and you're almost like spitting. It was so obvious. I couldn't hide my disting. Well, can any woman, Joe, when you bring up your collector? Not around me.

But wait, why? Yeah. I'm surprised, no, I'm not going to make fun of you. I'm surprised that you're, no, no, no, but. Super gay. I don't want to. I'm surprised you're as, as disgusted as you are because you have a very nerd side. So I would think you'd go, oh, I can relate.

That's like my Bell House stuff, you know? But I'm convinced that what I like is cool and what everyone else likes is not. And that's my flawed thinking, but I'm convinced I have the coolest tastes. Yeah. Welcome to the world of nerd collecting. you'll fit right in. You'll fit right in with these fucking dorks. These ego-monoggle dorks.

You two are convinced that what you collect is the coolest, clearly. Everybody must be. We all think we're the coolest. As you were judging me, I was sitting here going, this fucking dumb shit doesn't get it. Powerful. We're going to be such a good podcasting team. This is fucking perfect.

Yeah. Well, we don't. What we both agree on is that we both don't like pot. Yeah, I hate it. I hate it too. And I feel like you can't just say, look, I don't hate people that smoke pot. I can't take it. I've tried my whole life to get high.

It never works out well for me. No, it's, okay, so I loved it. Okay, so I lived in Texas in 2000 before I came back a couple of years ago. I loved weed back then. The 2000 Texas weed. Go ahead. Yeah, but my jump off of weed happened when I lived here in 2000 into 2001 or whatever it was. But I loved weed back then.

Weed was called Shagweed back then. It was, sometimes people called it dirt, whatever. And it was not that potent. You could smoke some. You could feel good. You could smoke some while you're drinking. You could feel good. It was fine.

What I don't like is how potent it has become. And I know there are people listening that are going, then get good at it, build a top, whatever. Sure, they're not wrong. There's. Take more pot. Well, there's a, there's a thing that made me hate it. There's a thing that made me go, I don't, the strength was what me say, I don't smoke it anymore.

I can't, it's not for me. When I started to hate it, it was the lifestyle and societal acceptance of it that pissed me off. I got tired of having to tell, for instance, bartenders that worked for me at my bar in New York, don't, you can't walk outside during your shift and smoke fucking pot in front of the bar. Do you understand you're working right now? Do you understand I'd yell at you if I saw you drinking right now? You can't do that. Friends going, oh, we got to drive to the mall. Let me just take a quick hit. Fuck you, dude. You're driving me. Right, but it's legal to do it in public, though, yeah? Like, it's not the legality.

Oh, I don't give a shit about legality. It bothers me that people think it's so different from alcohol. If I was about to drive you somewhere and I go, hold on, let me take a quick shot. That's true. And then when I've said this to weed smokers, that's true, this is a big argument that me and my ex-girlfriend used to have. I'd be like, it's people that smoke weed in the morning, imagine if I woke up and said, I have to clean the house. I just want to do a couple shots first. And she'd be like, it's completely different.

I go, it's different to you because you. You have a weed tolerance. Guess what? I have a booze tolerance. I can drink a lot. A lot. Okay? I don't do it ever outside of times

when it's time to drink. Right. So I just don't... It's become like the martinis on Mad Men where people are just like, what is it, 11 a.m.? Time to get high. Yeah, come on in my office.

John, let's talk about the merger and we'll do a couple martinis. So you're saying that culturally, it annoys you, Because it really is no different than being as impaired on alcohol. Correct? It's like drinking all the time. You're like, let's get drunk.

Whether you, whether you get behind. I'd rather drink all day. I love it. Don't you? Yeah, but I don't drink all day. Yeah, because we go, no. Yeah. Not good today.

Yeah. I drink after work. Like a respectable white puritanical. Yeah, I wait until five o'clock. Yeah. And then I get ripped. Not, I'm not kidding. But I have been.

drinking every day since December 23rd. I'm so jealous that your day is over at five. It's not over, babe. It's just beginning with two kids. Okay. And that's what I need to, because I'm always alone with my kids. My husband's gone a lot for work, right? Yeah. You've heard of him. Anyway. Joey Diaz.

Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz. I don't know, my God. He would eat me alive. But anyway, it helps me get through like homework and them talking because they fucking talk all the time. And it's exhausting. Nobody mentions that this time of parenting

seven and ten is just listening to motherfuckers talk. Is it worse than the terrible twos? Is it like, would you rather have a... Fuck. Would you rather have a bratty kid going, no, no, no, or would you rather have a kid going, could I tell you about every single thing I think is interesting? Minecraft, it's all I hear about.

I know everything about Minecraft. I know everything about Roblox. I'd rather have this era. Okay. Because I can tune it out with alcohol. Okay. You really want to tune out the two-year-olds because I'm like, they can like hurt themselves and die.

I have an idea. What's that? You should play Minecraft. And then instead of, I've never played it, but instead of them talking about it, you'll just play with them. And then it's like a game and you're having fun, right? I don't know. Is it, is it fun?

I'd, I'd rather sit and play the game than talk about the game. Well, can I tell you what I'd rather do all the time? Drink. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. Or, you know what I do when I, kids go to school? Because I'm so overstimulated from them.

I'd go into my room. I close the curtains and I meditate for like two hours. Really? I have to be so still because I get real fucking disregulated. Those fools talk. That's terrible. Two hour meditation. I can.

I know. I talk to the aliens. I get real weird, man. I do. I really like it. Do you do that, what is it called? TM? Yeah.

I'm past that. But yeah. I've done it. What's past that? Rookie! It's when you get a mantra that's fake kind of. I shouldn't give away their trade secrets, but they give you a word, a mantra.

It's not like a real word. And so I just feel like when I say that word, it's good for your mind, but you're not hearkening positive fucking anything in the universe. It's not like saying the Hari Krishna. See, I've heard this. And I just made up my own mantra. I'm like, I need some fucking guy to give me a fake word.

I won't say, but I have a mantra. And it's an acronym for something that I believe in greatly. Okay, good. And I, but the word, the acronym itself is not a real word. It doesn't, it's not like, it's not like dare. Yeah, yeah. You know, you know, whatever. So, but yeah.

That's good. I think it has to have meaning. I agree. Otherwise, it's not going to be useful. Yeah. Hold on. Speaking of friends. Sure.

Should we get the show started? Speaking of people that collect things and like cool people like us. Yes. You're so cool person. It's been difficult to make local friends. because freaking COVID's not over by the fact

and so it's like I have to go my way to isolate myself socially I can't go to a big protest like oh hey what's up I have to go

to be a protest oh the group of people I need to stay away from them because they're not wearing masks and I'm not many compromise so it's difficult okay who is Randy

don't bring anyone loving to this It's good open. Yes. That's great. The loss point. Look at that. Yeah.

You had Police Academy in there? Yeah. I like this guy. God, his neighbors must hate him. Oh. Thank you at Gavin J. Music for that beautiful saxophone intro. Can we rewind real quick when he's at the piano?

So good. That was great. I'm serious. Can we bring it back to just a still of when he's at the piano? I think I saw a picture of me on his bulletin board. I'm not kidding. I'm not joking. Joe.

You think he's into you? You think Gavin is in love with you? Pause. Is that me on the book? Wait, did you see? Do you see? No. Is that?

It fucking looks like it. Did you dress? That was a black and white stripe? like the hamburger shirt? Oh, that's no. So that's not me. We need the thing in the, in like, CSI, when it's like,

when it goes in, the thing that can never happen. That would be so amazing if he did have you on his vision board every day. And he's like, I just want to know Joe DeRosa. That might be.

I want to know you, Joe. I mean, God almighty. Jesus. Who doesn't? I want to know myself. That's me. That is not. It's a spirit of Halloween.

I think that's actually a woman. I think that's Joe from facts of life. I think that's her. The spirit of Halloween. It's like that lady with a deep voice that we cover. It's that spirit of Halloween. That's at East Coast. Tired of trying to figure out what actually works for hair loss.

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Additional terms at DKNG.com. slash audio limited time offer. So, yeah. Anyway, anyway, so that guy's great. That guy's amazing. Thank you so much. Beautiful saxophone intros. And you identified properly police academy.

Yeah, because you remember growing up in the 80s, if you watched a movie and there was a saxophone in it, it instantly elevated the entire vibe of the film. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it made me play. I played saxophone. But that's why I wanted to... It's a YMH exclusive.

Where do I put it? Where is it? Where's chips in a bowl? Help! I'm retarded. Intros and sounds. Intros and sounds. Fuck, I hate doing this. The pressure, cats eating kibble.

Yeah, that's tough. This is a YMH exclusive right now. Here we go. Cats eating kivel. Chips in a bowl. There you go. Let's enjoy it. Mm.

Mm. Joderosa's played the saxophone. Tell me everything. Wait, now it was real quick, was that a man pouring chips into a bowl? Or somebody's shuffling the chips around? It's a really good question. Let's listen to that.

Yeah. You're putting the chips. I agree. Yeah. Massive amount of chips. Why is it so soothing? And it does promise fun. It's like, we're going to have fun.

I got to tell you, I don't find that soothing at all. My mind is racing during that clip. I'm going, is he putting chips and is he mixing the chips? What kind of chips are they? Is it just tortilla? Tortilla sucks. What kind of tortilla sucks?

Unless there's dip or guacamole. I don't enjoy that. You're stressed about if there's a dipping thing. But I'll tell you, can I tell you what I've always imagined the chips were? Standard potato salted. because you can hear the light, listen to the levity, the lightness of the chip hitting the bowl. Just listen to that. It's light.

It's light. It's not as heavy as a, I hear what you're saying with the Mexican tortilla. It's not a tortilla. It's a lays bag. Mine's going right to Tostitos, which is a light corn chip. I don't like those. And my least favorite of the corn, no offense Tostitos, but yeah. I agree.

Because they're bland and they're hard, and you do need to have another dipping thing with them to make sense. So now I'm going, what is he going to dip these in? And then I picture the shitty salsa next to the totitos. I'm like, God, this sucks. But you're thinking of East Coast salsa, which is the jarred bullshit kind? No offense to everybody on here. Oh, I've seen it in your HEBs. Horrendous. That doesn't count. I've seen it in your HEBs down here. It's depressing. It's depressed. I don't like it. I like a fresh, a fresh pico decao. So go ahead. So tell me about your saxophone. When did you start playing?

Or do you play smooth jazz? What do you play? I don't play it anymore, but I wanted to play it because I wanted to get into music as a kid. And they offered, you know, band at my grade school. And I chose saxophone because I was like, saxophone is cool. It's the coolest. Because you could play it shirt. Did you see the montage?

Did you see the Lost Boys? The guy is shirtless. He's being featured as the hot guy. And he's like, Like blow it. Everybody wants to be him in The Lost Boys. I played it for one, two, three, four, five years. Wow. Into my freshman year in high school and I said, I can't take this anymore.

I've hated every second of it and I switched to drums. Oh, I like drums. I play the drums. Yes. I'm terrible. Well, drums are great. I love drums. Yeah. No offense to the sax players.

There is. That's you, Joe. Can someone put Joe's head on this? Please. Look how fucking rat he is. Look at his collar. Do you know Dan St. Germain, comedian? Yes, yes, yes.

That guy played at Dan's wedding. For real, he hired him and he played at his wedding. What? Yeah. I couldn't make it to the wedding and Dan sent me pictures and I was like, is that the fucking guy from Lost Boys? And he was like, yeah, I found him and hired him. I was like, what?

And here I am thinking, what should I do for my 50th birthday? I think we just booked this an act. Yeah, there you go. This is amazing. Yes, hire Dan St. Germain to perform at your 50th birthday. Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

No, it's... It's huge. How long have you played drums for? Not very long. Maybe a couple years now. I suck, dude. I'm no fucking worse. I'm going to get back into it, but I got to get a bigger place down here.

A bigger place. Yeah, you need a bigger place. You need to have cool neighbors that can handle. Hold on. I want to find something cool for you. I want to look at this clip with you, and maybe you can tell me I'm just going to go Even if I'm in another apartment

I'm going to go electronic kit Can I tell you? So I started electronic kit And I they're not as satisfying To hit as the Real They're not sad I like the texture

And the sound And the What kind of electronic kits did you have? Some bullshit Amazon shit Yeah you can't There's electronic kits With so much derision You stupid fucking cold

I saw it in your face But did you have the ones with the netting Or did you have the like the hard ones There's a terrible Roland makes kits now That have There's a netting That sort of looks like this

Okay But isn't hard And it has the same bounce back As drums That's what I like the bounce Yeah You can get an electronic kit That feels like you're playing a real kit

And then but then Tom won't be annoyed anymore And my favorite thing is when he's making calls and I'm like, and I just, I know it aggravates him. I don't fucking care. That's funny. He's not here.

Okay. I don't know what the fuck this is, and I purposely didn't make myself too briefed on it. Okay. I just wanted to experience and explore this with you. Great. Okay, here we go. This is my.

What's going on today? Oh. You've seen this? Yeah. So for people listening, it's a guy in a church altar. You just. lays back and falls flat on his back.

Yeah. And head. So how'd you end up here today? Because I'm Jesus. Do you have some friends around here or something? Jimmy, for me to help you, you have to talk to me. Oh, drugs is he? I think he's just crazy.

Or do you think it's drugs? Maybe it's both. Joe, this is all. always a really compelling argument on our show. Is it just drugs or mental illness or both? The entire country is suffering from PTSD and a collective existential crisis. Nobody is recognizing it. Dr. Phil himself was right when he said during the lockdown, we don't need to worry about the lockdown. We need to worry about or COVID. We need to worry about the amount of people that are going to start killing themselves.

Yeah. And everybody said, you're a monster. Yeah. Nobody listened to Dr. Phil. He was a thousand percent, right? Yeah. They catapulted us back into society after yanking us out of society without any training. Yes.

People can't afford health care. People don't have jobs. Nobody owns land. There you go. There's your average American now. God only knows. From Ohio. And they're ruining drugs with fentanyl.

I know. So you can't even turn to drugs. You can barely self-medicate. Fuck. The only readily available drugs are weed that will send you into a psychotic spin after one hit. Yeah. Mushroom soda that will make you trip balls. Yes.

Ketamine. Yes. Ketamine. The drug that used to put people in a corner for two hours at a fucking party. Yeah. People are just doing that every day now. We're fucked. Yeah.

This is it. That's so true. This is it. That's so true because this feels more. Pre prevalent? Is that the five? I'm sorry. Yeah. My kids keep me up. Yes. Yeah, I know what you're saying. I think you're right. The, well, like that girl we showed at the very top.

She's like, COVID's still happening. Like, it's, it's, I don't think it is. It's, I think you're crazy. At least, the only saving grace that clip was when she said, I'm immunocompromise. I go, okay, all right, she's immunocompromised. Maybe she's gone a little baddier from being inside a little longer. Yeah. Or maybe she's just, I mean, she also was stressed like the banana lady. And why did the mentally ill, they always love to wear like wrist guards or covering the wrist? There's always something.

I believe that is to cover previous suicide. Oh. Thanks, Chuck. Honestly, I think that's why. That's why probably. I always thought it was because they have like, I've got wrist injuries. Like there are these annoying people that always have carpal tunnel. Like fat people always have carpal tunnel.

syndrome. No, no. Well, I mean, maybe it could be from the, from lifting the burgers. It's always fat so. So, so, so, so, oh, that's interesting. Yeah, I think it, and plus it, COVID displaced so many people. Like, we're in Texas now. I never thought I would live here.

Our whole life changed. It was our, it was our, in this country, it was our own Iraq war. There was no exit strategy. And we jumped in with both feet and it was like, And you're just literally, people are going, go over there now. No, go over there. No, go over there. And you're like, okay, okay.

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So let's see what he's up to. So he crashed. Oh, oh. We still got time on him. Sorry. Let me. We got to. He's on the floor.

He's shaking. See, he's real red. He's talking to Jesus. Uh-oh. Don't you dare. Oh, again on the floor. Again on the floor. Now, I'm going to back your drugs thing.

Yeah. I think drugs are involved because he's hitting that marble so hard and he's not flinching. And he's rigid. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and, sir, I don't know what the last time is you've done hard drugs, but you do turn red. Get a little flustered in the face. Can get a little red.

From which drugs? You can tell me. Nobody's. I mean, if you're tripping, right, like mushrooms or some hard psychedelics, right? Guys, back me up. I've never heard of that personally. Red face? You get a red face?

I don't know. I mean, look. This kid. Speed? Speed gets you a red face. I think maybe we're down with some bath salts here. Remember that? Oh, that was a fun one.

Yeah. Okay, let's see what he does. I love, by the way, the classic cop. who just doesn't know what to do it he's going buddy do you know anybody the guy goes i'm jesus and he goes do you know anybody around here help me help you buddy you got to talk to me the cop doesn't just go come come get a fucking straight jacket please this guy's a lunatic because they're so over it they're like this is 90% of the stuff we deal with it's just some mental patient grabbing crucive could you imagine being a cop you're just wrestling the mentally ill homeless of the world okay so here's here's what happens

This is fun. Uh-oh, he's ramping up for some... Oh, shit. Shut up. What the... Wow. Fuck. Oh, damn.

Get your taser out. Yeah, bro. Oh, there it is. All right. I can't believe he didn't have his hand on that fucking thing already. What the fuck you're waiting? Oh, my God. Oh, again, that's number three.

That time he actually spine hit the step. His spine hadn't hit the crease of those steps yet. He's on something. He's like police work. 20 or whatever he is. He's on something. Now, are you not allowed to tase for the safety of the person? Like, I'm going to tase you so you stop fucking doing this to yourself.

I mean, you're right, though, because he's more of a danger to himself now. Yeah, at what point do you not, and why is he not cuffing him? What is going on? What is happening? They just watch. Hold on. It continues. Okay.

There's two cops. There's two. Tackle him. Yeah. Well, he's on math. This is math, right? Yeah, red face. This is math.

This is literally what having two boys is like all the time. This is my life. Yeah. You keep threatening. Just do it. Holy shit. Yeah, he's red. that's like five falls that was wild yeah because that's the thing too if he had fallen and

hurt himself yeah i feel like the cops would get in trouble like why did you let him do that five times yeah first of all can we get a pitch you said tom's out working on beth like can we please get a pitch tom could play this guy in a sketch can we get a pitch for tom to do some sort of sketch where he plays this guy oh my god in a church so Second of all, this at the end here, this is my new favorite thing. Everybody that ever gets arrested anymore on camera is doing this, whether they're sober or not, flailing, screaming, wrestling, whatever. And then nine times out of ten, there's somebody off camera going, they're not resisting. Stop it.

And you're like, this is literally what resisting is. This is literally what resisting is. why is her shirt off? Because she's resisting and it came off by accident. This is insane. Yeah, this guy is insane and you're right. People are now defending like the crazy person.

That's the problem. We defended these crazy people. They need help. They need help. Lock them up. I also, I'm going to once again back the idea that he's on drugs because he's too well dressed to be crazy. He's on drugs.

He's actually pretty well put together. He's probably well. Okay, so Dr. Drew said meth runs towards the cops. and usually enhances Jesus stuff. So I'm going to go with meth. Really? Yeah. Cocaine.

I said Coca-Cola. You run away from the cops. Meth, you run towards them. And you scream about Jesus and stuff. Drew is good to hit you with a weird thing you never knew. Oh, he knows all this weird stuff. He's the best. Yeah.

Let's get into this. I'm very excited. You're becoming part of the YMH family. It's true. Look, I'm mad at myself. That's okay. It's not. Have some Ozos.

It's 1130 a. AM. Go ahead. I'm sorry. No, I'm excited. You're doing a podcast here with us at YMH Studios called Vile and Horrendous. Yes, it's coming soon.

It's a great title, by the way. Thank you. I love that. It stems from a story from when I was a child that I told on Story Wars, the Lewis Gomez and Big J podcast. I was on panel with Shane and Matt McCusker, and I told a story where I gained the Nick name the vile horrendous.

And then God love the comedy supporters out there. It's been hashtagged in my feed ever since. I love everybody's calling me Vile and Horrendous all the time online. So I was like trying to come up with names for this podcast and most of it is about me how disgusted I am with all of everything. I was like, well, Vial and horrendous is a perfect.

It's such a good name. Name, thank you. Violin horrendous. I'm very excited. I'm so excited to be a part of this here too. Yeah. Yeah. You know? I mean, here in Austin and loving it and you guys are obviously, you know, the Pod Network down here. So it's like it's, you know, it's just, it's cool. It's really cool to be a part of it.

That's so cool, dude. Yeah. I'm stoked you're here. Yeah, that's so funny. So it's you talking about like stuff that you, that annoys you. What's annoying you these? It's four segments. The first segment is me. The first segment is about. someone or something that I find vile horrendous that I experienced. You know, this disgusting pig I met in public. This is what's wrong with everybody. And this is how the micro incident is indicative of society crumbling. Yes, yes.

The second segment is me, and not doing it to be contrary, but me taking an opinion I have that differs from the popular public opinion about something entertainment related. So it gets a little more macro in the second segment. So for the pilot we shot, I talked about how everybody loves weapons, this movie Weapons,

and I thought it kind of sucked. And then the third segment is the news, but it's not the news like me dissecting the news. It's me being fed headlines that I've never heard before. So it's me just reacting to. So that's the most. macro of all the segments.

That's awesome. Me just kind of, because that's how most of us respond to the news. That's how most of us suggest it. You go on, you read a headline and you go, what the fuck? So I want to do a whole segment like that. And then the fourth segment is people writing in or calling in and saying like this is a disgusting, violent, horrendous person I met or this is the time. I was violent horrendous, et cetera.

So it goes on there. The arc is super micro into macro. back to micro. But the whole extent of everything is, or the whole gist of the entire show is, is everything is disgusting, people are disgusting, society is over, we're done. It's the end.

Which is what my comedy basically is. So I wanted to do an extension of my comedy. And by the way, no guests. No. Me just sitting in a chair. It's the way to go, Joe. It really is the way to go. Plus we produce it.

You're going to have, you know, clips and whatever. That's awesome. I think you're just perfect, perfect show for you. It's going to be fun. Amazing. I'm excited about it. Amazing.

Violin horrendous, yeah. It's so funny because, yes, at times you are the violin, the horrendous in life. And you forget it. Like, I forget all the time. Like, I'm fucking the worst to some people. Yeah. Well, when we did the pilot, I talked about this. I might redo this because it was, it's, it's evergreen enough.

But I talked about this airline experience I had. So it started with me being like, this, these fucking airlines are disgusting. They're charging us a premium for basic human convenience. Fuck these people. They're gross. But then I talked about how I snapped at the, I had to go get, something happened. I had to get reroute. I don't remember, but I had to go back upstairs to another desk because this desk couldn't do it. And when I got up there, the lady that was, I remember what it was, I had to check in, But the lady, you know, there's the lady or the guy, they'll be at the front where the kiosks are.

The self-help ones. And I go, I got to check in. And I'm running out of time, your machines aren't working. And she was like, you have to go stand in the line. And the line was forever. And I go, I can't, I'm going to miss my flight. And she was like, I don't know what to tell you. And I was like, oh, so because your machines don't work now,

I'm going to miss my flight. Yeah, because this is my, and I was a dick. And I got in the line. the line actually went very quickly. I checked in everything was fine. And I felt really bad. I felt really bad. So I went back to the lady and I was like, hey, I want to say I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It's not your fault. You just work here. And she almost started crying. Wow. I swear to God, she almost started crying. And she was like, thank you, you made my day. And I was like, nobody ever says this to this woman.

So I want to turn it on myself too to be like, we're all acting like pigs because everybody's acting like pigs and we're all reacting to the other pigs it's a tough dynamic it's a tough energy to exist in God it's so bad I was just such a to somebody in a hospital too

I was I really was I was you know I was waiting for test results I was I don't know Charo I had to take Charo the singer no my mother-in-law

I'm sure she'll tell you about it, but she, we thought she was having a stroke this week. Oh my God. I know. And we're like, call 911, get in the ambulance,

we go to the ER. I'm the only one in the family that is free to take care of her. So I'm there in the ER. And like, I get it. The ER is, it's like the last place on earth

you want to be. And there were people literally doubled over dying, coughing and lying. I was like, oh God, I don't want to be near any of this, dude.

And so, COVID's not over. Oh, it's not over, damn it. But so yeah, so anyway, we're waiting for her fucking blood work to see if she's having like a stroke or whatever heart attack. And this like, I'm such a dick. She's so nice in the beginning. Like we were joking. I know I was like, she's like, you should work here.

Like to me because I was like, I was so charming in the beginning. And then I just, I got ground down because we were waiting for results and waiting for results. And then I started calling her a lesbian behind her back Because I'm like this fucking lesbo And Charles was like, you think she's a lesbian? I'm like, of course she's a fucking lesbian Look at the hair

And like I'm being such a dick And I feel like she heard me She probably did She could sense it She could sense it She can sense it I could tell you you're shitting on me in your head About the video games

You think this fucking nurse On a 28 hour shift Can't tell you're fucking Calling her a lesbian in your head Lesbian daggers Yeah Yeah Fuck, I'm such a dick

And I could tell she turned Because I kept asking for those And then her tone changed And we were no longer friends But that's it I didn't say you snapped at her or something I didn't snap at her but I was being annoying Like can we see the fucking

Where is the doctor now? Oh, she's running the ER That's what she said to me Oh she's running just running an ER So she kind of gave it to me a little bit And I was like And then every time I'd go over to her She was on a screen

And then she'd close the screen out Like I was fucking wanting To look at other people's files And so then I purposely go over there and look at her computer just to kind of annoy her Because then she, like bitch, I don't want to, I don't care what's happening in number 37, you fucking go. So I don't know, we had an unspoken passive aggressive thing.

It's a, it's, that's a tough situation to be in. Now I want to apologize to her. Now I want to go back to the ER and be like, I'm sorry. I don't think you did anything that bad. I called her a lesbian minor back. Who cares? But it was behind her back. That's what behind your back is for.

That is what it's behind your back is designed for. It's designed for every slur and terrible thing you want to say about somebody. So do I qualify as vile and horrendous? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But here's the thing. Here's the thing.

You know, I think about this a lot and I write a lot of stuff down and some of it makes it into stand up and a lot of it is going to start getting jettison into this podcast. Good. Because it's like I need an, I want an outlet for. this stuff that isn't the whole podcast was designed to have an outlet for this stuff where I didn't have to construct it into a joke yeah yeah yeah you know what I mean where I could really take my time and like whatever but but anyway not to digress but but but this is the thing in that situation it sucks yeah you know what I mean it's like the whole fucking system sucks the staff is overworked

it all sucks everything you know what I mean and it just it's everybody is getting fucked and And then you're all in this pressure cooker. And you're going, hey, bitch, where are my results? And she's going, hey, there's a fucking legless person over here. I'm sorry if I get your fucking results. And by the way, they're in the back going, this charo lady didn't have a stroke. We're in no rush. She's fine.

It's like low blood pressure or she just was dehydrated. But they don't tell you that part. No. Because the system sucks. They won't tell me. They're little. And by the system, I mean the system in the way it operates. in that particular ER.

So they're going, well, you don't have to get to this right now. She didn't have a stroke. Exactly. But you're sitting there going, did she have a fucking stroke? It's terrible. It's terrible.

And you're right, the world sucks. I hate everything, Joe. What I don't hate is my lipstick. You didn't call you. I only said it because you said, I was like, I don't take a fan.

No, no, no. I know. But I wanted to make sure you knew I wasn't saying. Oh, babe, no. I'm the least sensitive. But speaking of vial, buy my lipstick. for Valentine's Day.

The perfect gift. You should get the perfect for. You could get my lip gloss bundle. You can get my liquid lipstick. I'm going to be bundling up my cheek stuff too for you guys. It's fantastic. ChristinaP.com. Order that stuff now so it gets to your place in time for Valentine's Day with a heart end.

Also, believe it or not, I will only be doing two stand-up comedy dates. I'm going to do Chicago and then Texas here. I can't read it because that's too far. I'm doing the Den Theater in Chicago, March 27th, 28th, and then April 24th and 25th, Punchline Irving here in Texas. ChristinaP.com for tickets. What about you, Jojoz? Are you touring right now?

What are you doing? Touring a little bit, yeah. What do I got? Houston, Texas, January 17th, Magoobies, Baltimore, January 3031. Zanis, Nashville, February 27, 28th. Zanis, Chicago, the following March 6th and 6th. American Comedy Company March 20th, 21st.

Anyway, go to joe derosa.com. That's where all the... That's where the dates are. Just look. I try to go out, you know, not a ton. Same.

You know, every since I had cancer, I kind of, I'm like, I don't know if I can leave my house. I feel like touring gave me cancer. So now I'm like, I'm going to stay home and garden, pet the cats. But then I love doing stand-up and I love it so fucking much.

That's why Austin's. It's great, though. You can do tons of stand-up here and never go anywhere. I know. Can I show you my curations? Please, yeah. This is, like, all I look forward to on this, not all I look forward to the show, but it's really my favorite thing. Please. Because I lovingly curate these, and for those of you don't know.

And can I say something about your stand-up touring? Go ahead, babe. I think, and I think you need to hear this. I want to reassure you in your notion. I think you're doing the right thing. I think you, especially after you go through a bout with. health stuff. I think you're recognizing what's important to you, what time means to you, and who you want to spend that time with. I think you've got a tremendously successful thing

happening right in your hometown, obviously, where you are making a living. And I think, so you go do shows on the road when you want to and when you can do the best show for the people. For the people. I agree, Joe, DeRosa. You don't have to, you know, don't. I'm not, I'm not Like here's what I'm not going to do. I'm not grinding out fucking cities to do it anymore. But I will do like select places where I see there's an audience. I will go. I enjoy doing that venue.

I'm not just grinding out fucking dates anymore. I am doing it anymore. I am two months away from homelessness at all times. And I do that. I'm two months away homeless and I go, no, don't feel like it. I'll do that. Won't do that. So if I'm doing that, you can definitely do that.

You're fine. I know. But I think it's because I have that work ethic of being a comic for the last 20 years where Tommy and I would like fucking leave on Wednesday night, do feature weeks, come back Monday, record the podcast Tuesday, fly out again. Like we just had this crazy ethic. But you're right. And guess what? It paid off. It did.

I know. Now I should enjoy things. It paid off. I know, but I can't, you know. How does one enjoy? I don't know. I don't know. Here's what I do.

Listen. Yeah. Go ahead. TikToks. This is all I care about, truly, besides my children. gardening drums vampires here we go

oh I love this guy this don't play I'm not hot I'm not hot I can even drink a fucking bottle swall a fucking water that you gotta act like a damn fool

it's no damn sense Oh, it's great. Could you have done that with your dad? No. No. No, I mean, I maybe he would have thought it was kind of funny. But like over, these guys that, like, I think that's his uncle. I've looked these guys up.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. And then I'm like, are they just friends? Do you ever see the one where they're at the fish place? There's one where they're at like a fried fish place. And the guy in the passenger seat has like a plate of like fried fish and hush puppies and stuff and the guy that's always videotaping he like holds up a hush puppy and he goes he goes uh i'll give you $20 if you feed this to me right now and the guy is like get the fuck out i

ain't feeding you no goddamn food what the fuck is wrong with like he gets he gets so mad so so afraid of being gay huh yeah exactly feeding a man a nugget a hash puppy you got to watch neff an unc. Yes. They're the greatest. I think this is this another one here? Oh my God. No, this is a different.

Sorry, different guy. Same idea. So hold on though. Let me, let's examine this. Is this for? Who's it for? Women or men? What's it for?

What are we doing? Is it sexual? I can't imagine it. I can't imagine a man putting this out and it not being. Like what else? What for? What else? I watch so many food things. Yeah.

I feel like some food things, they're just like, do you, is he? You watch food things? What do you mean? You might like? Like so, I remember saying I had to watch a bunch of YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I watch tons of food influencers. Okay.

It's my other favorite thing. Okay, like they eat stuff. Like, we're in Ohio. We're in Chile. Yeah. Who's the girl? That's cool. God, she's incredible.

Who's the shit? I feel like you guys probably know her. Who's the girl who always gives the finger when she's cooking? Olivia? Olivia, Tide. Oh. People like that. She's awesome.

Okay. I'm hoping she follows me back. Oh, yes. Christ. But like the... She's cute. She is so cute. But I follow her because she's great at cooking.

Sure. The cute doesn't hurt. The cute don't hurt. She's super cute. Yeah, but she's got a toad. She's... She's like a hotter Joe from Facts of Life. You know what your type is?

You like grumpy brunettes. I do. Yeah. It's an East Coast thing. I do. If you're from the East Coast, you like grumpy burnets. I like, fine. I like a chick who's like, what are you not going to do a shot, pussy?

Yeah. I'm like, oh, oh, hi, mommy. Disapproval. Mm-hmm. Wait. So anyway, but she doesn't do stuff like this with sausage, but this guy. My point is I watch a lot of chefs

like Olivia who actually cooks shit but then I watch people that just eat shit and they'll just eat shit in a weird way because whatever that's called like you said with the chips

the sound of the food so maybe this guy's just eating in a weird way or do you think he's let's watch it again I think he enjoys his snossies I think he enjoys his snossies. It's about

it's about See, I think what he's doing is, I'm sorry. I don't want to undercut your narrative. No. I think what he's saying is, I think what he's doing is being like, you lick the cheese off like this. Oh, it's so good. I always lick the cheese off first. And then he's, we don't see what comes next.

And then he sticks it up his ass. That's the best part. Oh, this is the lady I wanted you to hear I'm so glad to hear Miss Ann. Miss Ann. Get the packages. Who's that?

It's me, Sequoia. Who is that? I'm in Raleigh at a friend's house. I was going to take them anyway. I'm just going to let the dog pee real quick. I just saw them as I walked by. Where are you going? Just to crack a barrel with Diane.

Oh, my. My God. She looks cute. No, I don't. My hair needs to be colored and cut. I like your shirt. Big deal. Big deal.

Anyway, don't worry. I'm going to get them. I just want him to pee real quick so I can get the hell out of here. But how great that her voice matches her personality? Because what if Sidney Sweeney had this voice? It would be rough. I've, um, have you, well, wait, you've been married a long time. When's the last time you were out there?

Oh, my God. 05. Okay. So this is prior. I've met people online over the years, not a lot, but once in a while you meet somebody online and you meet them first in the DMs. Mm-hmm.

And then you graduate to talking on the phone and you hear the voice and you go, that voice doesn't match the face at all. And it's jarring. Really? Yeah. Have you had one this drastic? That's, well, no.

This is wild. But I also think this lady, I think her, I think her look matches I think both progress together Right I know what you're saying Like she started off like a normal

Like girl And then she started smoking cools And then that evolves Yeah Patty and Selma voice And then you buy a jersey Or whatever And then you

You wake up feeling like shit I'm gonna throw on a giant tie-dye shirt Yeah yeah yeah yeah You know I didn't get to the place You get my hair done this week Christ Now you get a bad attitude

It all starts to... It all snowballs. She's great, though. As you already know, it's steaming out here. It's steaming out here. Oh, my God. Well, you scared the hell out of me. Huh?

Huh? Whatever. You scared the hell out of me. That's like me accepting compliments. Whatever. Imagine... Whatever. God, this is like Florida or something.

Yeah. Walking in... I smoke occasionally, cigarettes. There's some. They're great. They're the greatest thing ever. But I can't imagine walking in 92 degree heat, smoking a cigarette. I'm like, oh, my God.

Can I tell you, at, like, the height of my cigarette smoking, that was the hardest part. It was like the San Fernando Valley summer being goth. And then being like, I got to smoke at some point today. Oh. So hot. Dead of summer in that valley. You're wearing six layers of black lace. Yeah.

It's really tough. Some Cuella DeVille outfit. You're smoking on top of it. Yeah, dude. Or I see the people with the windows rolled up in the car smoking, and you're like, dude, I never. I even now look back and went at smoking inside of my own living room with the windows open when I lived in an apartment.

You're like, oh, it's so nasty. I'll be with, sometimes I'll go over Tony's house, Hinchcliffe. And I'll go, I'll go, can we just, smoke in here, please? Can we please just smoke in here? And he goes, no, now, got to go outside. I go, it's a hundred three outside. He's like, I love it. I like, you like, you like, you like, you like been successful. Start enjoying it. Smoke in the house. I know. Build a little room in here where we can smoke. I'm still in Eastern Europe, dude. I'm still a communist. I can't, I can't leave. I can't escape. Yeah. My fucking mind is in the prison. Okay, here we're

Rear, the patient, patient. Must you always explain? I'm, luckily, in patient's um, mean, is not a tautil. Um, so,

when I'm concentrated, Hitler. When I'm, are they're, there are more, and thereby, then so concentrated,

or, on the situation or, with the people, that the tics there so far underdrued that's so good

way that's a unfortunate one. That's an unfortunate one. I've never seen one that one lady says, I've heard the other ones. And she's still in concentration camps too, right? Oh, my God. That's unfortunate.

That's pretty good. Is Tourette's like, like, I'd imagine what Tourette's, it's like, remember in Ghostbusters? Remember at the end of Ghostbusters when they go, just clear your mind. Yeah, yeah. As long as we don't think of anything. Yeah.

And then Dan Eckroyd thinks of Sepa. I feel like that's what Tourette's is like, like the second you're like, I should never say Hitler. It's like, you're going to say it all the time now. Does it work like that? I know that there's physical tics that are like overwhelming. And like you just can't stop your body.

And I imagine, yeah, it's overwhelming. It's like vomit. You just can't. Oh, that sucks. Hitler's, I'd rather say, cool than Hitler. And I think she gives a Heil Hitler, right? Think the first one she goes, yeah. Yeah, that's cool.

All right. another one for you. This is the... Okay, it's time for the first hair hang of the day. This is always the most painful one, but I've just got to get it out the way and then the rest of the practice would be as bad. This shouldn't be that bad today because I have hair hangs quite a lot last week. Oh, there's one section over here that I can feel like not something... I hate it so much. Why would you do this?

I don't know. The way it works is as long as all the hair is like evenly distributed in the same direction. Essex. My hair's super strong, it went break. But whenever one little hair is off, I can instantly feel it. We can just do it this time. Oh, man. She's got a meaty badge.

Yeah. Oh, that's bad. Oh, this is better than I thought of it. I thought she was going to lift up in the air. She is. Look. I don't know. Anybody. Oh, no, there she goes. Okay, that's, yeah, that's bad.

It looks pretty now. Oh, God. God, I want to die. I don't know. That's like, that's like Jedi training to me. Like she's like, can I do this with me and smile? Oh, fuck, I hate it. I just, fuck her.

Fuck her stupid thing. I don't like her. But what? Dude, you look a lot like Adolf Hitler, bro. You look just like him. Like, has anyone ever told you that? Actually, yeah. Really?

Bro, that's insane. My best friend told me that. Are you serious, bro? Yeah, it was in like a freshman year. Keeps the mustache. keeps it and keeps the hair dark. Really? You look like Adolf Hitler.

That's crazy. Wow. And he keeps it. That's the crazy part. Yeah, brother, Buzz cut it or something. Yeah, dude. You change it up when someone calls you Hitler. Oh, my God.

Or you lean in harder, which he did. Jesus Christ. Wait, why was the hair, what is the purpose of the hair hanging? Is she a performer, like, of some kind? Like a circus freak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's got to be a reason, right? It's got to be like, so awful that it's entertaining. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Here's something kind of telling me how you feel. This is the Home Alone house. It just sold. One of the most famous houses in America. Look, there it is. For the first time in 12 years. This home is for sale and wait until you see the transformation.

Oh, holy shit. They actually shot it in the house. Oh yeah. I know, right? I thought that was interesting too. And the creepy basement with the radiator monster. Isn't so creepy anymore in the theater you can watch home alone in the home alone house and this was the biggest surprise This is a regulation size three point line with 25 foot ceilings and the hectic kitchen layout

Well it isn't so hectic anymore Jesus fucking Christ I know right It's scary up there. Don't be silly for we'll be up in a little while isn't so scary anymore it's actually a beautiful bedroom now. And you can own this piece of American history for 5.2 million. Where is it located? I don't know. Illinois somewhere?

This is kind of, I'm a huge, I love John Hughes. Yes, of course, me too. I love John Hughes, but I will say this. This is one thing that, this is one aspect of the movies that kind of always throws me off a little bit. Because they often center around very well-to-do waspy folk. So you kind of go, I don't really feel quite as bad for you. You know what I mean?

Yes. That must be the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, makes me have less sympathy. Oh, oh, like, fuck them. Yeah. Not fuck them. Like, I'm not mad at them. Yeah.

But I'm also like, well, of course, of course you forgot your kid. You're bunch of rich people with your heads up your ass. Exactly. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Which is good. Because otherwise, if it was like the, the, the single mother working, you know, back to back double

shifts or whatever at the diner. You'd feel horrendant. You couldn't watch the movie. calls it out in plain strings. That's who Steve Martin is, but then you've got John Candy there being like, oh, oh, God, no, life is so hard for you.

You know what I mean? But anyway. But you know what really struck me as depressing is I think the reason they chose this house, because I've seen this movie many times with my kids, is how Christmassy and vibrant the colors are. And this is how every home is now, Sterell, beige, white, black.

And Taco Bell, even if you look, have you seen how they've stripped out the color? The Taco Bell buildings now are gray. McDonald's is gray. This is terrifying. Props, too. McDonald's, it's the saddest thing ever. The redesign of McDonald's is the most sad.

It's the saddest thing of all time. It looks like a coffee house. It's all brown with like a sleaker. Yeah. I hate it. But guess what? Shout out. Shouts out to Burger King.

Sticking with, they went back to the old school sign. Hey, so much better. Burger King, still hanging in there. Yeah, dude. It's not as cool, but they're hanging at, see the one on the right? Yeah, I like it. They went back to those signs. It isn't cool to make things gray and dystopian.

I don't think any of that is cool. I don't think so. KFC still looks kind of like KFC. That's good. But Taco Bell, you're like, guys. It's like prison. I know. Remember when they all looked like the alamo?

Like a shootout was about to happen. I was so rad. It was literally a bell. Yeah, it was so fun. God. Look at it now. The purple bell. Like, fuck off.

You know, they were doing this. I remember in the 2000s when everything was extreme. Do you remember when they did that, like, extreme? Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. You crush or whatever. You're like, you don't need to do this. Nobody's, nobody's upset with Taco Bell.

No. Nobody fucking needed it. No. Stop improving shit that doesn't need to be improved. God. It was great. Pizza Hut's a rough one too. Fuck off.

I love pizza. No, no, no, I love pizza. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. They're all, okay, you want to hear a real kick in the nuts? So you know how pizza that's like only takeout now? I didn't know that. That's only takeout now, right?

That's horrendous. I think for the most part. So I was driving. I was, I was, and I was touring where I was driving between gigs. Like I was doing one night here, one night there, so I have these, whatever. So I had a day off and I was driving between gigs

and I was like, I'm gonna sit somewhere and eat dinner tonight because you can't because you're fucking running around doing shows. I saw a pizza hut, like an old one with the red roof and all that shit. And I was like, I'm gonna go sit at Pizza Hut, I'm gonna get the salad bar, I'm gonna order pizza, pizza I'm gonna get the pitcher of beer that my dad always used to get I walk in lit up counter completely blacked out chit-tick they're like we this is just take out

only and it was still in the old build it was the biggest blue ball ever what a waste they could have just had it as like the one last remaining it sucked and I just left I didn't get any pizza I was like fuck it I'll go to fucking cracker barrel or something else I know I do love cracker barrel and I hope they never changed that Anyway, we got to go. I got to go to kid stuff. I love you, Joe DeRosa. Check out his new podcast, vile and horrendous,

debuting very soon on the YMH Studios' channel. What else? Is there anything else you want to plug? Just go to Jodorosa.com for my tour dates. Pop by Joey Roses if you're in New York City for a sandwich and or a drink. And that's about it. All right, mommies. We love you.

My meows. Miao. For Satchi Kalachi speaking, who the fuck is this? It's me, purple hair girl from the chair. I was the one to be-h-h-h-myself on cam that time, remember? Oh, hell yeah, man, what up this? I remember you. You were flicking your bean on the couch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember you. What's the- I don't have time to talk. Listen, where are you at? Um, I'm just home here now. Hold up, though. Where are you calling from? I'm stuck way down in the mountain.

I need you to come get me. Yeah, I can do that. I'm looking at... Hmm. Say 8 o'clock, 815. Fuck, you're doing good. Thank you so much. You're literally saving my life.

Bam, say no more. I am on the way, bitch. Awesome. Piss on me. Beat me. You're the coolest for this. No, you are. You are the coolest.

Cool girls for life. We about a year. So, ooh. This is Captain Moselle. We're rolling. Anderson Cooper took my sister. Now we gotta expose him. If you're a huffel pop...

Do not piss me off. Just keep on scrolling. I ain't impressed. I crown molding show me that dick that you holding. Tit-to-tow. I'm a fucking walking mermaid bitch. I dip my nuggets in the doo-doo. Guess what?

I love me. I drink moose soup. One hundredly. Specifically delicious. Story time. Uh, how you say? I'm not a racist. Start a vibrant member of the cuckoo girls.

I shout out mistress kawai when I'm stepping parts out of butts. Tattoo my brown ice cream, some big words, and I married my sons. Spitting them tongues and shit because I'm a fucking blasting blood. Cuts in a hoon. Fucker-Doo, but that's what we do. You do you do, do not do you. And yes, my eyes are tattooed. Funny story.

Like Perry in the jail. Tick-Tock what he do. Do you ever worry that you're all worded and no one's telling you? I'm a reckless eyeball and ho. Just how I was made up. Selling a necklace made a moosterds out the back of my trunk. All right assholes listen up.

You'll never make potter come. If you ain't licking the scrum, honey, you ain't tricking no one. Clown check. Avercadabra, babo boboon chock a day. What I see a Spartan kicker taste a bit of the poutine I may be. Identify as a threat, a nightmare. And my pronoun is your grace.

I recommend a freezing scene. Even though my health ain't improvement, but I bet you're low and loose, holes ain't hardcore enough to do it. Nature's free, multi-vitamin, why the, I'm literally, I know he wants to lick, get up on this ass, put it in your mouth and lick it like glass. I know you love me, I know,

you want to lick, get up on the sad. Put it in your mouth and make it like glass Who the fuck you've been let and sample your energetic template A spirit working star C channel or hybrid astroquette Hurry up a boy take your bike You better not touch me bitch Motherfuckers, you need to restock the hot cocoa When you're done with it

Some caffeine take a hammock shit Pop the vasectomy stitch Now I'm straight polybide with vocal fry in size G-tick I keep smelling my vagina and hopes that it'll smell better, it just doesn't Show the haters how you glass and put your perfect smile lit I'm ride or die. Show me the body, mommy, we'll chop it up together. Dip that shit in, I said watch it decay in the road with weather.

I did it chinned up the evidence. We've got old girls keep secrets forever. FYI. This Cherokee? I'm not native at all. So I look funny crush. You got any coming those bulls? Come on my bob.

He wants to lick, get up on this ass, put it in your mouth and lick it like glass. I know you love me. I know you want to lick. Get up on the sats Put it in your mouth and lick it black glass Please follow my teeth Dirty bitch! Get your passenger!

Feel like I'm going to die What gets rid of hard barren? Fuck what you heard. I'm about to have that orgasmic bird Wray-Root your manner. Thro-Zilla Michael get in there first. Fuck my stoma. Don't free no chomo's the chomas though I'm blowing Cincinnati

parts at every goddamn place that'll go. I'm not aren't we're latch-key and we beef-queefing and Queen being and I'm seeing them G and see them. Andy C's cream because I hydrate like a piss d'ee. Do you up that? Did I stutter? If you're a bully thief of cricks with mustard.

Purple hair girl got you cover. This is the of your mother. I saw her mom's last night just to visit her. And Cheryl jumped over the kitchen counter at me flying like Hussein boat in a fighting suit. I don't know why the bitch has always been jealous of me. So she run to the phone like the bitch-made counter always does. And I said, you better call up her law in Sequoia County this time, bitch. Because you're going to need help, prizing my fingers from around your fucking dick-suckered throat.

So I end up resting in jail. But I'm out to see. morning, Cheryl, and I could still say that's right you do swell a shut bitch. And I'm coming over here today, and I'm going to do the two-step in the cow. Boy, buggy till there's a mud hole in your fucking ass.