Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Let Cops Drink & Drive w/ Matt McCusker | Your Mom's House Ep. 870

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

SPONSORS: Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com. Visit https://www.sleep.ME/ymh and never fight with your partner at bedtime again. Text YMH to 64000 for your 2 free gifts with the purchase of any Pocket Hose Ballistic hose. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message frequency varies and data rates may apply. Text STOP at any time to opt out. Text HELP for additional Information. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at https://PocketHose.com/terms. Sup, chomos! Tom Segura welcomes the shaman himself, Matt McCusker of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast back to the Mommy Dome. Tom opens the show with a clip of a man getting pepper sprayed off a plane sends them down a rabbit hole of taser videos, body cam channels, and sovereign citizens. Matt reveals his wife spent five years as a Philly cop, pulling her gun by week three, and Tom recalls his LAPD ride-along with an officer who answered "which time?" when asked if he'd ever fired his weapon. From there: Anthony Weiner debating his way out of a 3-on-1, why psychology is a fake science, the news that oysters are alive when you eat them, and how the World Cup is really America saying "you're welcome." Plus: a grizzly eats a black bear, a man sexually attracted to forests, a Horrible or Hilarious pool fall for the ages, and Matt's dad discovering Buc-ee's. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 870 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:55 - Opening Clip: You're Gonna Get Sprayed 00:04:55 - Tasers, Body Cams & Sovereign Citizens 00:08:52 - Matt's Wife Was Philly PD 00:15:39 - The Ride-Along Cop Who Killed Four People 00:19:32 - Taser Clips 00:25:24 - Trolling Telemarketers 00:31:56 - Pastor Manning 00:38:09 - Elite Debaters & Anthony Weiner 00:46:36 - Clip: Sexually Attracted To Forests 00:48:16 - Animal Violence 00:52:59 - Welcome To USA 00:57:27 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:06:31 - World Cup 01:13:26 - Closing Song - "Cool Guy Megamix" by Fart Simpson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. And welcome. Hey, buddy. Thanks for coming in. Yeah, thanks for having me. I was just saying you the last time we had to be with like a whole smart talk. I know. Well, we weren't, we were the dums.

Yeah. For the smart chat. We were. We were there to provide. Huberman would be like your hemoglobin and your frontal cortex. And then we'd be like, do you jerk off and nap? Perfect. That was all.

Yeah, yeah. We were there to just, you know, diffuse attention. I also, if I remember correctly, because I didn't see it, but obviously, having done it, I remember when you brought that up that one of them was like, is that a thing? And I'm like, wait, you don't know that that's a thing? Yeah, that was, everybody knows that's a thing, by the way. That's crazy. That's insane. Yeah, Hube's was really, he was really holding me to the coals about just masturbating. It's like, hey, man, you know, people do it. You don't crank one out ever? It's like, and nap? And you're like, yeah, because you're tired after? Yeah, it's, or so you can nap. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you've got to calm the nervous system. I mean, I'm so jealous of the people who are like, oh yeah, any moment I want a nap, I just take one. And you're like, what? I talk about it all the time. People who can, like, slam coffee and pass out.

I'm like, I have that thing where I can have an espresso after dinner and be fine and like go. But what I struggle with is, and I'm the most jealous of are daytime nappers. Like the person who are like, I'm just going to go take a nap and you're like, how? And they're like, I'll just close my eyes and be asleep. And you're like, yeah, I can't do that. I can do it if I'm like pretty sleep deprived. That's the only time. I have to be exhausted.

Yeah, exactly. But there's people who are just like, yeah, I just. Conk out. Yeah, whenever I want. Simpletons. That is, right? Simpletons. They have nothing on their mind.

An animal. They're an animal. If they can just lay down the middle of the day and fall asleep. That explains Bert completely. Because he's like the most. I didn't know that. Oh, my God. He's a top tier one napper.

He's always like, I love a nap. I'm like, yeah, you have nothing going on. I like a nap too, but I have to be. be very tired. I do too, man. I have to be like exhausted and then I can do it. And nothing feels better. Most of the time, it's like I sound like an old person. I rest my eyes. That's not bad either. Yeah, just the fucking I'll do that too. I'll lay down, rest my eyes. And then it's like your thoughts drift away for like one second. And you're like, well, and you're like, I think I kind of slept for one second. There's that tease that fucking blue balls of naps where you, you're, you know,

you feel yourself crossing over into sleep, and then you come out of it. You're like, fuck you to yourself. I do think that one second helps you, though. If I even, if I even, like, hit that for once, I come up and I'm like, I'm way better than I was before. Well, I don't know. I mean, there's, you know, every day now, there's studies show for everything. But apparently 15 and 20 minute naps are much better for you than like an hour plus now. Yeah.

Because if you go into like an hour nap, your body releases like melatonin, which is, you know, like really getting you into deeper. And then you're coming out of it and you're groggy. But the 20 minutes is supposed to be like a recharge. I think it's nice. Yeah, I'll take, you know, whenever I've traveled shows. Here I am doing my best Huberman. We should have done this.

Let's run that back. Let's call them up. Can you just jump in for a minute? Or can we edit this into that? Into that? Black screen in there and just drop this in there. Cut to them being like, hmm. Wow.

Yeah. And I felt like Chris was just like, he just like throwing grenade. He liked seeing people get in trouble. He's just like... Yeah, he was ready. He was really partying on that thing. I noticed that. He was really having a lot of fun.

He was. All right. Make sure you check out Matt on tour. You can get tickets at Matt McCusker.com. Of course, the podcasts every week. Yes, please. Both on the YouTube's and Patreon. Yep.

And here's our opening clip. I have no idea what this is. Here we go. Get out of my father. You're going to get sprayed. You're going to get sprayed. You're going to get sprayed. You're going to get sprayed. Back up.

Oh, is Ryan? Don't bring anyone mud into this. Pepper spray? Yeah, that's just fucking awesome. Guys got pepper spray. This is a guy getting pepper spray. I like a good pepper spray and a good taser video. I love a taser.

Pepper spray is nice, too. I want it more kind of stumbling and falling from that guy. However, a good pepper spray and a tase is just unbelievable. Can you pull up a good Instagram Taser channel? Can we just watch people get tased? That's a good one.

Dude, it like changes people's entire attitude right away. I watch a lot of... Shane put me on a Midwest Safety, which is a police body cam footage channel on YouTube. Guys will be so belligerent, get tased, and come back and be like, I think you guys are doing your best here. And they completely flip.

It's unbelievable. I went down a deep rabbit hole of body cam footage. Yeah. I mean, you could do a couple hours, easy. So easy. The one that keeps coming up to, and I think it's more prevalent in certain states, maybe some Midwest states, I think actually Michigan is one of them,

where the person gets pulled over, and then the cop's like, you know, you're doing whatever, 58 and a 35, and the guy's like, hmm. And then he's like, just, you know, licensed registration. He's like, yeah, no, I'm a sovereign citizen. I love that, yeah. And then you can tell where it happens a lot because you'll hear the cop go, Oh shit. Here we go. Like here we fucking go. And then the guy's like, the person tries to explain their sovereignty. And the guy's like, yeah, listen, this, I've done this. No. No. Yeah. So either give us your shit or we're going to drag you out of this car. And the person's like, get a, get a sergeant out here. Yeah. I am the fucking sergeant. Well, did you see when they call their lawyer that's also like their wife basically? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I call their lawyer. I got to call my lawyer. Like tell him we have the paperwork. That's why I love.

watching those. Does that ever work? Ever? I don't think so. I, because I looked into that and they were like, no. You have zero. Because then they had one too where it was this woman and she was doing the whole like, I'm sovereign. And the guy's like, yeah, fuck.

He's like, yeah, that's not, it's not a privilege like, it's a privilege to drive. It's not, you know, you don't, the state issues you, the right to drive. Yeah. And she's like, no. And then they're like, this woman and they cut to courthouse footage from like

another time where she's in court and the judge is like no stupid like you're not yeah it doesn't work and so she's like still on it well yeah they get they get convinced that it's just like whatever the sovereign citizen thing is it's like yeah no here's and they give you papers and stuff and you're like no you're good but you're better off going like amendment head or whatever we're a constitution guy where you're like well legally you're not allowed to

there's like those guys who can kind of get off I know the there's people like one of the things if you watch a lot of these videos a cop who does not suspect you

of committing a crime see a lot of times cops will like walk over to an area where there's people be like let me see your ID yeah

people impulse like instinctively go like here you go you don't have to volunteer your ID yeah you don't for someone just being like give me your ID now if they're

suspecting you of a crime it's different but if you're just like minding your own business so you learn those things watching those videos. Yeah. But you don't get shit being like, I'm sovereign. No, yeah, exactly. You can't. Yeah. I'm going to do it next time I get pulled over, but I'm actually a sovereign citizen. I'm a sovereign citizen. I'm a sovereign citizen, but I will

give you my ID, but I am a sovereign citizen. I got pulled over two days ago. I got pulled over, yeah, I got pulled over like two weeks ago. And I got fucking, here's the thing. I was coming around this this crazy bend, right? This turn. And I remember, like, you know, you remember moments. I remember this car on this green Porsche on the left just went like flying by me i didn't think anything i was just like okay and then as i i made this the turn i saw the cop sitting there and i was like thought nothing of it you know and i saw him pull out and he was just like just kind of behind me for it and then he lit me up and i pulled over and i was like he came up he goes yeah reason i pulled you over is um you were doing like 58 um in like a 40 and i was around this turn and i was like

really? Like, was I? He was like, yeah. And I wanted to be like, you sure wasn't the fucking Porsche? Yeah. That came flying by, I was in an SUV. He was like, yeah, I got, okay.

He's still, yeah, fine. And then I'm like, what are we going to do? He's like, I'll just give you a warning. That's nice. Oh, okay. I was like, yeah, I'm sovereign, you know? Yeah, that's cool. And he just, he let me go.

I now, like, love getting pulled over. Really? Yeah, because I was always so scared to getting pulled. over, I would get in trouble. Yeah. I have nothing to worry about. So I like kind of celebrate the facts.

Then like my wife was a cop for a little bit. She was? She was a police officer in Philly for like five years. No shit. Swear to God. Philly PD? She was Philly PD. Does she have amazing stories?

A couple. It was like, you know, she was just, she was in a pretty like shitty area in terms of like crime. Yeah. So it was like, it was dangerous, I should say. There was like real gangs down there, all that stuff. Was that West, Philly? Is that the best, like the best, like the west, south.

Yeah. It's kind of the whole city. All of Philly. It's a whole city. direction. She was in like south Philly but like, you know, an area called Grace Ferry. But the yeah, it was crazy. The one

thing I didn't know like the that I think like it's not really glamorous but if somebody dies and then you know obviously they discovered a police officer has to sit in the apartment with the dead person until the coroner comes. So he's got to sit there with a guy who's been dead for like four days and just like sit there.

And the scent. Yeah. Oh, that's got to be terrible. And then you got to wait until people come and we got to just like sit there with Just like, I don't know, make sure no one. They always say the cop, I've seen so many, like cop shows, like real ones, that they never can forget that scent, the smell of a dead body. Yeah. And that it's locked in forever. It's got to be terrible.

Oh, my God. Did she have to do that then? Yeah, she just sit there with a dead guy. And also, like, there's that. There's a lot of, because you see shows and it's like all glamorous. It's like just, it really is the worst job ever. Like, it's so. I didn't know any police officers.

Thankless. Oh, it's completely. Everybody hates you. Because what you realize is that we all want the perfect version of a police officer accessible to us. But then, like, we are not willing to, well, A, cut them any grace whatsoever. And it's not a high-paying job. It's thankless.

They deal with bullshit all the time. Schedule sucks, too. Schedule sucks, but they deal with really awful people a lot. and then you're like, deal with them a certain way, but then deal with everybody else perfectly. Yeah. It's not like a desirable thing. The bosses are mean to them, people, everyone hates them.

Literally every single person hates them. They hate each other. They are like, but like when I got to like really witness cops, like, you know, up close, I was hanging out with them, all this stuff. They really are, they're like union carpenters with guns. Yeah. So you got to lower the expectation. They're not like, you know, they're just like guys who,

they're construction workers who like got to have a different guy. Did you ever have her arrest you didn't, like do that kind of thing? No, I should have. Damn. I should have. But no, I just... Wait, so what do you do now? You say you get excited,

like, so what happens now? Because now I know, I know a lot more about cop psychology. So when I get pulled over, I get to do shop talk with cops, and I love shop talk. So they pull me over and I'll be, I always, first of all,

you turn your lights on. You turn all your lights on if it's nighttime. Yeah. That puts them at ease because now they can see you from afar and they know, like, oh, this guy, you know, it's like actually thinking about me.

Yeah. Put the lights on. As soon as they pull you over, it's always just like, I'm never like, what the fuck? I'm always nice and I'm like, man, wouldn't want a trade place with you. You got to act, me, man.

Wouldn't want your job, buddy. And they, you know, they love that shit. And they just let you off. And then you got it off the other day? Oh, yeah. But it was like, I had my headlights off, but I was totally sober. And, uh, and yeah, he's pulled me over and he's like,

what are you doing? I was going to blah, blah, blah. And, uh, yeah, I feel like if you, if you do that and you just kind of like, just let them have all the past, I used to when I was younger, I'd be like, oh my God. And I would fight with them.

And that's like, really? Oh, yeah. I would be like, oh, yeah, real cool, man. This is a fucking dick. Yeah. But I was also so mad. I was going to, you know, I was like, they were hitting me for like three weeks worth of money and I'd be like, I have friends that hate cops so much that will be

walking around. Like we're on tour and we're in some city. And we see a cop just standing on the corner. And one of my friends would be like, see what this fucking pig's going to do to us. And I'm like, bro, they're not going to do any. What are you talking about? Yeah, they're not going to pop. I'm like, you got to, you got to take it down a notch, man.

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sleep sleep.me. me slash ymh. Well, there are, well, there's two things. There are dirty cops. And then there's the young gung-ho guys. They're kind of the problem. Like, they'll just, because they don't technically have quotas, but I think they have like their activity, it's called,

is monitored. And if they're low activity, they're kind of like, hey, what are we doing out there? So it's like, we don't have quotas. It's like, you kind of do. If you don't have, if you're not filling out like, today I did this, today I did that, they're kind of like, what are you doing there?

And they are incentivized because if they get, if you're a start, if you're a young cop and you're pop, like getting people with guns and stuff, it does help you get promoted to have like all that activity. Dude. So there are like the young guys are gung-ho and they'll like come up and just like,

they're the ones that'll really, I think, nail you on the bullshit. We were like, dude, get out here. Dude, one time I did a, I was doing a, um, a, write, a show as I was co-writing with someone and it was police themed. And so they go, let's, um, let's set you up with a ride-along. And I've done multiple ride-alongs in different cities, but I did one LAPD. And so I go to the Hollywood division and I meet this guy and he's like, like, yeah, we'll do a ride-along.

And I'm like, great. And everything's going cool. And he's like, mostly. And this is what I found that every time I did. I did a ride-along in Carolina. I've done a ride-along in Tacoma. You know, mostly you deal with domestics and mentally ill, right? Homeless and domestics.

So we're doing this just ride-along. We're talking about that. And then I just do the question. Like, have you ever had to draw your weapon, right? one of my cousins was a cop for 20 some years and he was like yeah i drew my weapon one time right because like most of the time you don't have to actually draw your weapon this guy's like yeah yeah i go oh yeah he's like yeah and i go did you have to use it and he goes yeah yep and i was like oh what happened he's like which time and i go uh how many times have you had to you he's like well

I've had to fire three or four times. I'm like, you've had to fucking discharge your gun three or four times. He's like, yeah, and they all resulted in fatalities. Yeah. I was like, you've killed four people in the line of duty, and he was like, yeah. And then I found out that there was a whole write-up about this guy, like a multiple-page thing about how this cop is like prone. Yeah, just popping off. To popping people.

But they were all like justified, you know? Like the first time, a guy pulled an AK-47 out. Yeah. Jesus, what you don't do, yeah. But you kind of would think that that would be your wild story of your career. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then it's like a couple years later, someone else pulled it.

And he shot that guy and killed it. And then another few, I was like, dude, you have some real interesting luck going on with you. It's pretty crazy. It's pretty crazy. And then you've got to just go back to work. I'm sure you got a couple weeks off or whatever when you killed a guy. But like, it's a weirdest job in the world. And then it's like, are you done?

Are you over killing a guy? All right. Get back out there. Get back out there. Kill a guy again. Yeah. And you're like, God, damn. Imagine his rep though, around the precinct.

Oh, yeah. People are like, dude, this fucking... This guy's a cowboy, man. Yeah. Well, the thing with the lady officers, too, is they're like more justified to pulling out their weapon. Because, like, you know, as a guy, if some guy comes out, you're, you're You have to kind of like fight them. You can't just pull it out and shoot a guy.

Yeah. But a lady kind of can. Yeah. So if a big guy comes out here, like, I think my wife had to pull her gun in like the third week. Third week? Yeah, she didn't shoot anybody, but she had to pull a gun like back to fuck up. Yeah, because like a big guy can just kill you as a lady. Oh, there's crazy videos of that too.

Yeah. Of like, like dudes just pummeling female girls. Yeah, dude. Like that's why they're a lot. They're more, I guess, allowed to just. You got some tasers for us? Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's see some tasers.

There we go. Oh, I like this. I like that. I like his body language. Oh, hitting him with a bad toddler. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Stop. Stop. Don't take another step. Double dog, there. Oh, like I said. Hands out. All the way. Let's see if we get an attitude change here.

Yeah. Hands are out. Are we done? Are we done? Apparently tasers don't work. That is true. It's always crazy when someone gets. Ever see someone to get...

Yeah, and they fight it off? They just rip them out. Fuck. What? You? I'll get you, bitch. Oh, God. I do think it at least slows everybody down.

It slows them down a little bit. I've seen people pull them out for sure, and I'm like, that's terrifying. I would like to see some attitude adjustments. Let's see this guy. Taser, taser. Oh, right near the f-thes-two. Get the gun out. Get a fucking gun out.

Get a fucking gun out. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Oh, he's praying. He's crazy. I don't know if these guys know. They ruin every video. They always ruin the video with their commentary.

Oh, God. Every time I try, I'm like, oh, here's the clip of the thing. I want to see it. Guys, like, all right, everybody. I was like, God damn it. Just get out of the way. You know what I love to? You ever see the Taze run?

And then they go, and then they're like skid? Those are kind of the great. Let's see this first one. Gas Station Tays is. This is why fighting cops is never a good idea. Is it not? Yeah. Thank you.

What's up? What's up, dog? Hey, hey. You're on the ground now. All right. There we go. There we go. Yeah, that was a good one.

Yeah, it's pretty great, man. Good invention. Yeah, those are amazing. And the other thing, you know what cops get? They'll be like, they'll be in like a, you know, a shootout or something. And people will be like, could have tased them? And you're like, yeah, you're not like in that situation thinking of.

That's a crazy one, yeah. It's also like, yeah, have you ever had someone pull a gun on you? It's like. You're not like, I should get my taste. Well, I don't want to hurt this guy. You're fucking freaking out. Why didn't they shoot him in the leg, man? Why didn't they shoot him in the leg?

Hey, go back up. Is there a skid right there, the drunk man? Yeah, he's going to run. There we go. Oh! That's great. He did get a little sipper than me. He did.

Although he fell in a bottle. That must not be good. But yeah, I don't know. I do. It was a fun thing to get to actually like, hang out with meet police officers and be like, yeah, you guys might have the worst job. They also shift them up most of the times. When you're starting out, you're doing daytime, afternoon shift nighttime.

So you're a shift worker. Yeah. So not only are you dealing with a kind of terrible, stressful job, but then you're doing night shift for two weeks. Your sleep's all fucked up. It's horrible. You shot a guy, and now you're like sleep deprived. And it's like, it really fucking sucks. And they're like, you want to talk to the therapist here?

And you're like, sure. Yeah, right. You go, no way. Yeah, you're like, no. I'm not fucking doing that. I'm not doing that shit. They really do. I will say at the same time,

a lot of them are convinced they're absolute rock stars. Yeah. They, they, they, they, they talk to them,

they're just, it's very funny. It's, it's incredible. They can also kind of break the law too. Like, they can like, you know,

you're not supposed to drink with a gun on you. Yeah. Those guys do it all the time. They get so drunk and drive with guns. They take their guns everywhere. They have to.

Yeah. They can see a punk they arrested on the streets. They need their guns. They need to be drunk in their blacked out Jeep Wrangler at all time. I'm off duty. You're like, you got a fucking 9mm.

I know. But let them. They're not having fun. Yeah, have fun out there, guys. Thank you for your service. Yeah, they deserve. They deserve to get. Cops literally should be able to drunk drive.

Yeah. They all do it. So let them, all right? Yeah, what do we get? I mean, sometimes you'll see some, there's also another rabbit hole I went down was cops getting pulled over by other cops. Oh, yeah. That's a wild one.

That is a nice one. Yeah. You got to ask for professional courtesy. And there was the one cop got pulled over, I guess not in his, like, you know, like right outside his jurisdiction, like the next town, but he was in his car. Yeah. And he got pulled over for speeding. And the other cop was like, yeah, you were speeding. He's like, you see the fucking, you see this shit right?

And they had a massive argument. Yeah, it's, yeah, you shouldn't, you can't. I mean, they are like beta fish. You can't put them together from different. It's, I'm the boss. Yeah. He's like, call your fucking chief. and he's like, all right.

It was great. This is a fight. I love seeing fights. Fuck you. Oh. Fuck you. Oh. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Whoa. Wow. That was pretty cool.

Yeah. Where is this? This is, these are like paparazzi photographers. There is, where are they? I don't know. They're in Paris. They're in Paris. They're in European.

I like the speed which he was just ready to I know this reminds me I love when the the foreigners use English for their fight yeah yeah

like that guy at the airport remember he's like I fuck you right here I fuck your mother here the Pakistani guy or the Indian guy you've seen this before dude

you have to find that one that is so fucking funny I fuck your mother he's like I fuck you I fuck you here and the guy's like they just yell at each other but

that's hilarious I like that they They switch to English because of where they are. Yeah. Very impressive, honestly. Yeah. Especially while you're angry to remember. If I was angry and someone's like,

yo, tell this guy off in Spanish. I'd be like, how do you say gay again? Gay. Yeah. Very going. Yeah. Yeah, my little brother, he gets a lot of telemarketer calls, I think because he just answers him and fucks with him.

And he'll lead him on for like two minutes. I'm like, oh, that's really cool. And he'll somehow, whatever they're selling, he'll be, he'll like twist it into the end to be like, that's going to be really good when I'm fucking your mom. Oh, fuck you, buddy. fuck, you don't fuck my mother. It's so fun, every time.

And he leads them on. Leads them on and then just spins it every time in the end to be like right as they're ready to get it. He's like, oh, it's going to be great when I'm fucking your mom later or some guy from India like, fuck you, mister. I'm dying to tell you about the world's number one expanding garden hose and their all-new iteration, the pocket hose ballistic. Say goodbye to those days of having to buy a new hose every year

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There's this guy. He's a comic, and he does. amazing videos online where he he set up a fake website where you can notify like the Department of Homeland Security of illegal aliens and like when you want them deported and so he gets people submitting they're like yeah my neighbor I don't know I don't think he's legal and then he calls them and engages them and has like full kind. And he's like, so you think that they just look wrong? And they're like, yeah. And he's like, all right, we'll investigate that. He'll be right out there. Dude, this guy's,

he's so fucking great. I can't believe I. That's really funny. And then he did one where he called, you know, these like, these guys online that do these like business seminar. Is that, yes, Palmer Troll. Dude, these are so good. These are so good. He, he does it for so many different things one one that he did was he called like the Andy Elliott yeah you know and he was like I want to go to the thing like the seminar and and then he tells the guy he's like is there any way I can get like even more faced like they're like yeah we have like a super max yeah thing that you pay like 20 grand and then like you can hang out and work out with them and get like face to face with him yeah and then he's like all right he's like just got to make that payment and then he as he he leaves

to get his car he's like oh he's found out my grandma died and they got I was like, oh, fuck, man. And he's still got a close deal. He's like, yeah, so you got that credit card? And he's like, yeah. And he tries, he like cries through the number. It's so, these are so good. Scroll down.

Yeah. Okay. How much is that? That one's $20,000 for that. I asked what else that $20K gets me. Shaking his hand, bro-tapping him, all that stuff, absolutely. Oh, what's bro-tapping? You know, shaking his hand, slapping his back,

growing him up, dabbing him up. slapping his back? I don't know. He might like to do it. I mean, I paid him 20 grand. I should be able to slap his butt. Oh, it ended. Oh.

That's funny. Probably goes on. Yeah, that's, I always love, I don't know if you're familiar with the whole West Watson's saga. He was a guy who got out of jail. He's back in jail. He's now, so for people who don't know,

he's kind of like one of these super jack dudes who shows like his wealth and like how, you know, with hot chicks and lambos and jewelry and like, And like, I'm a millionaire and, like, money ain't shit to me. Yeah. It's kind of like the brand, right? Yeah, well, it started out as he had, like, you got out of jail. He did 10 years.

He got out. And it was just be him in a park, just yoked on steroids, just screaming into a cell phone being like, I'll show you the way. He was just basically being like, he was like, I'm still. He was very humble at first kind of being like, I'm going to show you guys how to do it. I want to take care of everybody. Like, I'll show you guys how it's done, blah, blah, blah. So he made like inspirational content. Then he became like a millionaire.

And he just switched it up. and was like working out. He just looked a lot to me like he was just doing a lot of Coke out of nowhere. Yeah. He'd be like, dude, it's just all about hanging with people and clubs in Miami.

I figured it all out. Oh, that's really God. But people would take his classes and he would just scream at you on Zoom. He'd be like, you're a fucking idiot, you're a dumb. Don't ask me that shit. And the guys go on there and fuck with them

and put the videos out. It's so funny. There was a big thing about his height. Yeah, yeah. They said he was, it's a classic saying he was six feet and not. But like well under, I think. Yeah.

They claim 5-8. But yeah, he's in jail again. And then the thing is that I think they got him on a bunch of fraud stuff, right? Wasn't he like... There is speculation on fraud. Like people are saying they were using... Taking credit cards and using them.

But he's in jail now for allegedly beating and kidnapping his now ex-wife. Damn. Yeah, she went to the Miami Heat game and showed her cleavage and took a picture and then he was angry because he paid for her tits and deserve... He thought he deserves for her not to show them.

And then so he allegedly... Fucking legit, dude. That's a legit complaint. He repode them. You fucking repode her tits and fucking beat her up and, yeah, try to kidnap her until she recovered. You know, I'd like to see the trial. I don't know. I mean, it sounds pretty fair.

Yeah, allegedly speaking. That Palmer Trolls account, though, is fantastic. That's good. And the stuff he does for highlighting the people who complain about immigrants is unbelievable. These are people who are literally like, the guy next door is brown, but he's got like a house. And I think you guys should investigate him, you know? That's so. And then he'll, like, fully engage them.

And he's, he's brown, he's Mexican, he's got a house. And they're like, yeah, how can he have a house here? And then he's like, okay, yeah. We'll definitely look into that. And then they get mad at him. They're like, sounds like you're fucking making fun of me. He's like, no, I'm just saying, you said. I'm taking the notes.

Yeah, I'm taking these notes here. That's so funny. Yeah. Fuck. Pastor Manning. Do you know Pastor Manning? is? No. Pastor Manning is a pastor in

Harlem. Okay. Been there a long time. He was not, he was an outspoken critic of Obama. I think I know this guy actually. Yeah, if you pull him up, I think Here's the latest video that's in here. Dr. Martin Luther King was one of the most racist people that ever walked up right on planet Earth. And somebody needs to say it. Somebody need to tell you why you're Why you don't own anything?

It isn't an economic opportunity to develop. It isn't that you can't have a string of restaurants. Sylvia went down to Atlanta and tried to establish her Sylvia. But the niggers won't work. They don't want to come in on time. They got a bad attitude about everything, and they don't want to prepare the food consistently the same way. You can't have a management of a restaurant,

global chain of restaurants without good management. And you can't manage niggers. You can't trust me. I've been working on them for 45 years. A nigger just ain't going to do the right thing. He's got an attitude about everything. I don't know what they had to do with MLK. I don't know.

This guy is constantly going off, though. Going off, dude. And speaking, yeah, man, speaking to the people, interesting messages. Yeah, it is also the background is crazy. The one thing we're trying to figure out, we've watched a few of his videos. How many people are out there? Because it doesn't sound like a lot. I mean, if he's, if he has, I think he's at a church there for a while.

A long time. He's probably packing it out. You think so? Yeah. But you don't hear, like a lot of times when a pastor speaks, when they hit certain points, you're like, oh, there's a lot of people there. It never quite sounds like a lot. I don't know.

I feel, I do, yeah, I feel like he could pack it out with a lot of older types. I feel like would be, older types of nodding, nodding cries. MLK, MLK was a real fucking, yeah. I mean, that's a hot to him. I wish he would have gone on about it He pivoted to restaurants And yeah Chained global chain restaurants

Sylvia and like And you're like okay He does have very funny phrases I've heard him say that And it's like holy fuck This guy's good He probably has been I mean he might just be filming content there

That might not be a live sermon I never thought about that He goes there's that Remember that professor on YouTube The Chinese guy who's always like He's like Has a whiteboard And he's just like

this is what's going to happen. He's making predictions. It almost looks like he's in a classroom, but you never hear, like, you're like, maybe one or two students. Yeah. That sounds like there's three people there. Yeah, that's content. It could be content mode. But I mean, look at that painting, man. He's got, I think he's packing that church out. I've wanted to visit this church, actually. Dude. I was watching his stuff a lot. You'd be welcome there. I think so. Yeah. He'd be like, finally another white face. Yeah, I'll tell my wife about, yeah. You can't come in. Don't bring her in. You can't come in.

No, because he. I'm going to get the word right now. He got to. He really. He really. He doesn't even kind of like dance a line. He's just like, you can't trust black people. You're like, what? Well, he's just got, you know, he's got a bone to pick, man. He wants to see, sometimes though he could be, you know, he could have just so much love in his heart. And he's like, come on, guys, what the fuck?

Yeah. Because I've watched a lot of this guy's content. He claims that he loves his people. Yeah, he does. I mean, he does think that Obama was a long-legged Mac Daddy. That's what he asked. That was the exact phrase. The long-legged Mac Daddy

Long-legged Mac Daddy Obama Obama Obama Obama has some high-grade black haters though Cornell West called him a Clinton

in blackface Did he really? Yeah I didn't know that That's a fucking slam That is Cornel West hates Obama Can't stand him

And just policy related Yeah Really Yeah He said he just He just saw him He just saw him He didn't trust him

didn't like him. Wow. Although a long-legged Mac Daddy might be the best. That's way better. That long-legged MacDady Barakle. Yeah. This is my favorite. This is the thing I was thinking of.

Yeah. You're going to let this long-legged Mac Daddy push these white folk. They're going to come up out of Tennessee and come up out of Oklahoma, come up out of Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, come up out of Oregon and come out of Idaho, California. I'm telling you, you're pushing these white folk and you're pushing them. Your long-legged Mac Daddy is pushing them and pushing them. and pushing them, and they're going to get, listen, you're going to push people to the point where they're not going to take it no more.

These white folk are not going to take it. You're taking their tax money. You're closing down their jobs. You're shutting down their banks. You're telling them what they can and cannot do. You're giving billions of dollars to acorn. Okay. You're taking their tax money and giving it to people to buy drugs.

He's got one, I saw one of his clips where he just went on about how thankful we should all be for white people. I've seen that before. It was the longest speech about how everything is thank you white people. And you're like, this is crazy. I know, I know. This is so crazy. I've, yeah, I mean, he has some people on board. I've perused his comment section to see.

I would like to get him together with, what's that guy that we had in here? Jesse. Jesse Lee Peterson? Oh, we had him in here. I saw that, yeah. Dude. He's a funny guy. He's hilarious.

Yeah. Can you imagine the two of them together? That would be a fucking fun episode. I wonder, I wonder. Jesse should have him on his show. I wonder if they would gel. I guess they might. I don't know.

They might not gel. Personality-wise, it might be a class. Yeah. Even though some of the same point of views. JLP's a little more of a troll too. Yeah. So he might just instinctively start trolling this guy. Just to get him fed up.

Just get him going. Which is what I'd want to see. Because JLP doesn't get angry. Yeah. This dude goes like frothing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He keeps it. Although you would need a counterbalance.

So you would have to get like a blue-haired white lady just to sit in on the discussion. Or just one gay guy in there. Yeah. Just a gay guy. Just a gay. In between them being like, hey, and they'll be like, you should die. I'm real big into the debater sphere right now.

Just like guys on YouTube arguing, debating. Those videos make me laugh so hard. Yeah. It's just fucking, no, my point. And whenever they prove each other wrong, they're like, okay, let's move on now. Let's move on. It's so fucking funny. Most people get, you realize that like an, an.

elite debater is at a different level than you are. Yeah. Like, they really, they know how to go, like, make statements and support them with actual facts. Because what most people do is they're too emotionally tied to their point. Yeah. And when you put one of them against somebody who really knows what they're saying, it's just embarrassing. You get destroyed, yeah. You get destroyed.

Yeah, and it's it, yeah, it really sucks. And then it's like, one of those things it sucks to lose that because you're like, it's your brain, really. Yeah. Like on full display. and it's like, yeah, brain sucks. Like, you know who's fantastic? Is that guy, what is that? He's British, I think, of Indian descent.

He has, you know I'm talking about? His site, is it Z-D-O, Z-E-T-E-O? I don't know. I forget his name right now. I'm thinking of it. The only British guy, debater, I know. That guy, this guy is a phenomenal. Is he good?

Oh, my God, dude. He's phenomenal. Am I saying it right? Yeah, Medi Hassan. That guy. I heard of them before. I'd have to see his face. He is, just like, as I'm saying,

if you just want to study somebody that can make a point and support it, he's a fantastic debater. I've seen this guy. I've seen this guy do it, yeah. Yeah. I always see the guy, I think his name's Andrew Wilson. He's like a Christian guy who smokes cigarettes

and thinks women shouldn't vote. Nice. He's good. He's good? Wait, is it? Well, maybe it's not, that's not that guy. Some other guy. Yeah, that guy.

This guy. He just ripped Sigs and it's like, here's why women shouldn't vote. And I'll be honest, man, he's a decent argument. It's a fair. It's not a bad, it's not a ridiculous. I mean, it's like never going to happen. Yeah. But at least the fact that he could sit there.

You can dream, you know? Yeah, you can dream. Yeah. But yeah, I watch him. He's very good at debating as well. He can just kind of, you know, I, I lose it when people are like, well, that's actually a reductive straw man. I'm like, you got me, dude. I don't know what that is.

Yeah. You win. You win. What happens? happens when like the really, like the guy that I asked you to pull up, he was just on, there's this, uh,

what's the, like the Persian super, like millionaire guy. He's a big, Patrick Bet David? Yes. He went on Patrick's show. And you could just see that they're, they're not an intellectual match, right?

Nobody loses. I'm not slamming PBD. Yeah. They take, they lost a fucking Anthony Weiner went on, beat three of them in a debate. It's like, bro, You can't beat Weiner in a debate. Weiner, by the way, phenomenal debater. Is he?

Say what you want about the guy, the man can debate. He wiggled his way out of it. They were like, dude, you showed your dick to a kid. And he was like, I had a technology addiction, guys. I just got lost in the fucking, you know how you scrow and he just, dude. They were like, oh, uh, uh, yeah. He just, he beat the PBD squad. He needs to hang up the debating cleats.

They get beat every time. They just, they just believe in their core principles, but they can't support any of it. This guy dressed them down. So it's like, it's embarrassing to watch. They lose every time I see them debate. They lose every single. They'll be like, bro, you're telling me. You're telling me.

And they're just like, yeah. And they're like, okay, okay. Or what they do is, right on, buddy. When you're met with somebody that you're intellectually inferior to, they ask you the thing. And you just go like, I'm going to ask another question. So you don't answer the question. They just never answer. I constantly see him taking debate.

bait else. Oh my God. He had two other guys with him, Anthony Weiner, and he was like, you need to answer for what you did. And Weiner just came out of that being, like, he won. I was like, damn, damn, dude. Fuck. You can't beat three on one.

Of Weiner. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, no doubt this guy. Did you ever see, by the way, this memory just, I love BPD, honestly. This just popped into my head. When Weiner was going, when it was like at the height of his scandal, he had a presser. I think he had a press conference. Did he really?

Yeah, there was some type of press conference. And I think it was Stern sent one of his staff. You know how they could send his staff? And the guy's question, he goes, he was like, I have a question. He's like, the photo of, he was like wearing undies in a photo. And he's like, is that you at your full capacity or can you go bigger? And you can see all the other journalists. If you can find that, dude, it's so amazing.

Yo. Are you shocked that Arnold had sex with an ugly woman? Of course. That's a very hard to find. Will you help to support Arnold's love child? Would you ask you? Will you help support Arnold's love child? Thank you.

I mean They were inappropriate. They were part of a of consensual you know exchanges of email. Oh, there he is. Oh, nice, dude.

But it was clearly mistaken one that I deeply In the great patty photo Were you fully a rep? Are you capable of more? Are you capable of more? That sucks so bad. Oh my God.

Yeah, he got, that was a pretty open shot case of him. sending, you know, but I mean... Was it a minor? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. It was? I'm almost positive. I should probably double check, but I think it was a minor.

Because he ended up being like, I was just sending stuff, man. I just love, like, when I go on my phone, I get lost. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I did. He's like, I was watching cooking videos, and it was just... Dude, it's the funniest... That's an amazing answer. It's great argument.

I mean, from, again, from a pure debating perspective, it's like, yeah, the technology addiction is a real thing. Yeah. Does it say, oh, okay. was 21? Okay. She ain't that bad. Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm glad because I didn't want to. I was assumed it was a minor. Yeah.

Okay. Oh, he sent it to his public Twitter account instead of sending it as a private message to a 21-year-old woman. Oh, that's amazing. PBD, I thought, had him on the... When tech gets you bad like that? Like, that's what reminds me of all the people we find who are like, Jessica,

please, call me back. And you're like, you just posted this to your Instagram. Just send it to Jessica. I could have sworn PBD had him on the ropes about sending it to a kid, though. Huh. I don't know. Maybe he had a... Oh, it says the third and more serious game. There we go.

There you go. All right, there we go. Not off the hook, we do. There we go. Yeah, there it is. 15-year-old. And he pleaded guilty of transferring obscene material to a minor. Oh, shit.

Yeah, so there was... Dude, PBD had him, man. 15-year-old naked photo. All you got to do is be like, that's wrong. You're a bad. And he was like, I had fucking tech, man. My phone. He's like, we're all addicted.

He was making a souffle. I didn't know what the fuck was doing. Yeah, dude. They couldn't pin him down on it. It was the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen. Yeah, okay. So I knew he had a kid. All right, there we go.

He, yeah, that PBD, is his name? Patrick Bed, David, yeah. Yeah, he's not a good debater, man. No, the whole squad needs to go back to school or something. Hang it up, dude. Or just hang it up, man. Just fucking, just show the clips. Yeah.

But, yeah, he, um, a weiner has his own terrestrial radio show. Right. That was a big thing. too he was on pbd show being like i mean podcasts are kind of lowbrow like i'm on radio is like an institution i'm part of a bigger thing it was kind of like snubbing him being like yeah i mean you have listeners but

my thing's more much more i've an institution like an institution supporting my so he has Anthony weiner has a radio show i think still interesting you just call in and be like weiner 777 wabc the middle with anthony well and he's actually bringing the parties together that's the thing oh i got you a lot of these guys do that they get to

grace and they're like, I'm going to bring, I'm going to, I'm going to heal the divide, actually. You know what? I'm not going to make millions of dollars on a network. I'm going to heal the divide. I'm going to heal. I like healing more than I like earning. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a registered sex offender. I'm sexually attracted to forests. Oh. That's a new one. I just never, I don't know. I've never seen that. No. Who's that guy? That's just a guy. I think that's Anthony. Weiner's dad. He's attracted to force. Yeah.

Well, you see these things. Sometimes, like those TLC shows, like, I make love with my tires or, you know, I'm sexually attracted to my car. I've seen that one, actually. I've never heard force. I can get how, I mean, force can be beautiful. I could see that.

I wouldn't say sexually exciting. It's pretty vague, too. It's like, what do you mean? Yeah, what part of it? The whole thing? Yeah, I guess so. Just force, like physics, I guess. You just rock hard walking through the flight.

velocity time what is that weight time speed or something yeah what's force I forget what it was oh force yeah forces like velocity times weight or something he's like no no no not force forests forests so he's he's is he forests or forests oh forests yeah forests yeah I can see that yeah it's I mean I can see you feeling a certain way in the forest he's jerking off in the woods he's jerking off hardly the first to do it dude imagine that he just gets out his fucking biggest load and then a bear just comes around the corner he's like oh fuck but the combination of all that you know adrenaline and you're yeah you have to at that point so yeah i'd have to just put a rock right

up yeah if i was spent and the bear came up i would just grab a smooth riverstone and just fucking plug it you know i just saw a video like um plug your asshole at the end i saw a video of a of a grisly eating a black bear it's so fucking gnarly god damn and the grizzly I mean the grizzly was eating him like he was a rabbit yeah there's so much bigger black bear's a pretty docile apparently yeah and it just tore this fuck

I mean it was carrying up up the side of a of a just that's a grizzly eating oh my god black bear dude oh it looks like a cub

oh dude god that's fucked I know he's out of breath he just looked at us God. Oh my God.

You want to know a fun fact? I just learned this. I did a podcast with a guy recently. Oysters are alive when you eat them. What? Yeah. They're alive. In a restaurant?

Yep. That's alive? They're alive, yeah. Apparently, so when you try to shuck them, the reason it's so hard is because they're like, no, they're holding their little shell together. And you rip it off and they're like, but then they're still alive a little bit and you eat them.

So every time you eat an oyster, that's why you get horny after you eat them. You're alive because you're just like, I'm eating a live. Your body knows. Your body's going, yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah, is that fucked up?

Yeah, I didn't realize that. There's apparently chefs that are so good at like getting the shell off gently that you can place the oyster down and feel its heartbeat on your tongue. Stop. Now, wait, what about when they're on the half shell? They're already dead now. No, they're alive. I think if they're dead, a dead oyster is like not really good to eat.

They got to keep them alive. Only a moment's part of being still. Okay. So they got to be kept alive to the point of consumption. So if they like die, when they get shucked, then they're maybe, but it's like, yeah, they got to be like a lot of times they are alive and are alive and eat them. Wow. Pretty fucked up. Okay, so they are bivalves lack a central nervous system or brain. There's a scientific consensus that they do not experience pain,

distress, or sentience. Wow. That's just an opinion. Yeah. That always gets me too is when people are like, well, you know, right here, your dog's happy that you did this. You're like, did you talk to him? The dude. How do you fucking know what the dog is for you? Yeah, I know. Well, we've studied them. I'm like, yeah, I know, but you don't speak dog. You have no idea. You don't know what they're doing. I've said it before. Scientists need to chill out with all, like, you know.

This is how this animal feels? They don't know shit. Yeah. They really don't. Giraffes prefer when you walk from their right side, and that makes them chill, and you're like, what are you talking about? You're just making that up.

I just learned the social sciences have no predictive power. They're not sciences. Social science is fake. Literally, they can't predict anything. You can't be called a science if you can't predict anything. So, like, you know, chemistry, you can say, if I mix these two elements, I get this. If I do this, physics, you know, you can predict stuff.

Social sciences. Psychology, sociology. Oh, that's not, you shouldn't be calling it science. It's not science. It has no predictive power. So, yeah, that's fake. Fake bullshit. It's bullshit.

It's literally all bullshit. Sorry. You hear that psychology? You can call yourself like a study of the mind. You're not science. That's the thing. Yep. You're not sorry.

Fucking. No predictive power. Fucking sucks for you. You have no predictive power. Fucking loser. Fucking loser. Fucking bitch. I'd love to hear how they feel.

feel about that. I kind of blew my mind though. I was like, that can't be right. I looked it up and it's like, yeah, they can like describe things that are going on, but in terms of predictive power. And you know that they are, they're hearing that and they're just like, fuck this guy. He doesn't know. They would have to, they can't, it's a fact. It's literally a fact. They would just feel a deep shame. I'd love to hear your feedback because we know your feelings are hurt because every psychologist thinks they know everything and they can tell you why you thought this and why you did that. It's quite easy to say that every psychologist... Got an attitude by everything!

No, it's pretty nice. It's pretty nice. I mean, you know, it's nice they do that, but it's, yeah, they don't... It's just nice. It's a hobby. It's like painting. Exactly. Yeah. Thanks for painting. Yeah, don't come out and bring your shit on me. But there, yeah, apparently, um... Yeah, there's no predictive power in a lot of the big landmark experiments, they try to replicate

them. They never work out even the same way again. So it's like, it's all... There was also a huge... huge scandal in like happiness research where a lady just started faking shit. Yeah. It was like fudging data and all this stuff and people were like, you know, having her out. Like, oh, she's writing books, all this stuff. And they're just, she's completely tweaked and fake data.

Well, yeah, when they do this thing about here's how human beings behave, it's like, you can get some type of majority, but people are all, you know, complex human beings that you never know what's going to make someone feel a certain way. Exactly. You can't predict human behavior because the new information makes the human... When you pulled that guy back, I saw you found him. This is the one I wanted to show you about cursing in another. Yes.

Watch this. You are lying. You are the joke. Hey, shut your mouth. Don't shout. I fuck you right here, motherfucker. You don't know me. Don't.

Motherfucker try to be smart ass. I'm fucking right here. Motherfucking. $50. You're a motherfucker. You are a lot. You are smack yourself. You are fucking.

I fuck you right here is pretty great. It was so nice. I like that. Yeah, I'll fuck you right here. I'll fuck you right here. No one's ever said that to somebody, I feel like, you know. Not that they're mad at. I'll fuck you right here.

I fuck you right here. Yeah. Damn. That's pretty great. That is amazing, actually. That's pretty great. That's my all-time favorite of that. I'm a big fan of the World Cup being here.

I like having all these people come here. all these different countries. This has been the, I mean, also do you, because we're about this close and same age, I think, right? In our 40s? Yeah, I'm 47. Do you remember that, like, growing up, you know, soccer was gay. Yeah, 100% foot fairy.

That's what you were called. Yeah. You played soccer, you were a foot fairy. And somebody was like, do you see the soccer game? You'd be like, no. No, not at all. No, no. I wouldn't even go around it.

Of course not. And somebody brought up a game. You're like, who cares? I know. And then I feel like over the last decade, A, there's little things. Like, once they start, I mean, I remember when NBC started broadcasting

like a Premier League on like Saturdays, you're like, oh, this is like on NBC now. Yeah. It's showing it. So you're like, interest must be growing, growing, growing. You know, last World Cup was definitely more, I think people had more interest in it. This year, I've never seen anything like this.

It's huge. It's insane. It's insane. And people, I'm talking about Americans, obviously. America who's always been like, we don't really care about soccer. I mean, it feels like it's like people are really embracing, A, the other countries that are here,

people visiting other cultures, that whole thing is like a beautiful thing to see everybody excited to welcome, be like, oh, you're visiting from, let me show you like, and they're so well. And then I also feel like people have really gravitated towards the game. Yeah.

People love the game. Yeah, I think, I don't know, I have, I don't even follow domestic sports, really. So I see Roll Cover a lot. like whatever. But it is like if it's on, it's cool. It's a cool thing. I think it has to do with high stuff. I realize that like I don't give a fuck about baseball. Yeah. But if you tell me it's like game seven to the world series. True. I'm the same way. Because it's high stakes. I'm like, oh, I'll watch this shit. Yeah, if it's on. And World Cup just feels high

stakes. Yeah. The whole thing feels fun to watch to me. It's fun. It's fun. I am, I also think it's like a, there's like a refined aspect to it. If you're like kind of like American football is, you know, for some reason there's something cool and worldly about being into the World Cup. Yeah. It's like you're a little more sophisticated. You're a global citizen. Yeah, global citizen.

Yeah. The game is a beautiful game. It's a beautiful game. It's a beautiful game. I actually, it is fun to watch. Actually, if it's on, like sports for me, they have to be on somewhere and I'll be like, oh, and I'll like, you know, watch it. I honestly don't know how to get games on my TV. Really?

That's how bad it is. If there's a game on, I'm like, I don't know how to do. They're all on YouTube TV. YouTube TV. That's what it is. I've watched so many games. On YouTube TV. And all the World Cup game.

Like, I haven't seen every game, but I've watched every day a game. Yeah. Yeah. They're fun. I'm kind of a... What do you think about Americans rooting against USA? Americans rooting against you? Is that a thing?

Yeah. I do not know that. There's some Americans and they're like celebrating the loss of the USA. It's so funny. It's so annoying. It's not surprising. We've been, we've had that segment of, you know, the population for so long. And it's a, it's a privilege to be able to do that.

You have to have so many things going for you in your country that are like, you have this abundance of excess that you have the opportunity to go, fuck my country. Yeah, true. And get away. Like, you know, you're like, it's crazy. Yeah. And not have people like really mad at you. People's eye roll. You're like, yeah, cool, man.

It's the kid whose dad is a billionaire going, fuck my dad. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, buddy. Sure. You'll turn it around. Pretty nice fucking car you got, by the way. I actually won Paraguay to win.

I just always followed the team. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's so annoying. It's fucking annoying. Yeah, I don't respect those people. No. But, and they'll cry. They're the loudest.

They cry so hard. They're the biggest cryers. Yeah. So gay. Yeah. Here's some horrible or hilarious for you. You decide. There we go.

Let's see. Oh, baby. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, okay. One guy falling horrible.

All those guys falling? hilarious. The domino effect just, that's classic common. And I love that you can't get, they won't get too mad at the old guy in his scooter. Yeah, true.

Right? Because they're like, he's old. He can't walk. He didn't see you guys, you should just slow down. Just right into fucking. Oh, dude. They got fucking,

oh my God. Oh. Do you think that he just went, put it on reverse and was like, that guy flipped. That old guy's out, dude. that that scooter's going have you ever seen the famous one

of this guy barreling down on like it's a it's also like a cycling race and he's coming down just fucking you could tell it's like well into the race and this woman just comes in the frame with her head turned like in the opposite direction and he hits her

at such a clip and it's just you I think she's wearing glasses she must be completely knocked I don't know if she dies like it's so high impact this woman just gets, and you can tell what happens. She's like, there's a crowd, and she just steps in, doesn't realize, she's looking this

way, and the bike comes behind her, and it hits her so fucking hard. And then everyone gets mad at her, dumb bitch. She's like, totally knocked out. She was just trying to look. Yeah, she just looked the wrong way. Everyone's like, of course it's a fucking broad. Let me see. Is this, oh, man, this is.

from one, a wife from Melba. Look at this. Justin Olin, gets it on man above. Oh, she was crossing the street. She had her phone out. Oh, man. So that's what she was looking at. I remembered it.

I actually feel like there's even another one. I feel like I'm thinking of another one. God damn. Yeah, that was... Oh. But that, yeah, that was brutal. That's at least a TBI. That's like a life-changing TBI.

Yeah. Best case scenario. Best case scenario. It's also... What's a literature on lady TBIs? Because I know guys get violent. They never hear about really women TBIs? They might, could be like a factory.

Factory reset? Yeah, factory reset. All of a sudden she's cool. It might go the opposite way where they get TBI ladies are like, cool. Like chill and like. Dudes go on murder rampage. And she's just like, I want to fuck a smoke weed and play video game. Yeah.

All right, cool. Not sweating the small stuff. Letting go of minor problems and shit. Oh, fuck, dude. That's not good. That's real bad. Yeah. That's ribs for sure.

Yeah. Yeah. I talked to so many football players who have had their ribs cracked, and they're just like, it's the worst. It's got to suck. You're in immense pain, and everyone's just like, yeah, just wait. Yeah. Every time you breathe, it hurts, I think, too. Yeah.

Every time. You breathe, it hurts. Somebody, you sit up, it hurts. You lay back. Everything hurts. Yeah, and it's just nothing you can do. And they're like, just one day it won't hurt. You're like, cool.

That sucks. I broke my big toe and they were like, I'm like, what do you do? And they're like, you just kind of waded out. Yeah. And I go, well, how will I know it's better? They're like, it'll just stop hurting. And that's when it's fixed. Yeah.

Sweet. I've broken both my pinky toes. And it's just like, every step you're just like, fuck this. Both of them. Not at the same time, but separate. Same type of thing? Yeah. I have my feet kind of like spread.

I can get like my pinky toe. I don't know if everyone, I don't even know if this is like a thing everyone can do it up, but my pinky toe like sticks out and I'll catch it on stuff and I've done it and just, bro, it fucking hurts so bad. And he's got, they're like, he's got to walk it, just wait, you know. Wait it out. Yep. Yeah. Sucks.

Let's see. Hmm. Okay. Oh, oh, oh no. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, goodness. I like that everyone had a, a beat before everyone laughed. I wonder if she popped right up.

That's a pretty good fall, right? That's a decent fall. I think the bush, whatever that is. But look at the height of the glass door there. Yeah. Right? So that's probably like seven feet or something. So she fell maybe 10 feet. About, I would say. Yeah. I mean, luckily, that bush, I think really...

I mean, also, what the fuck kind of design is that? Yeah. Oh, she slipped right there. Oh, God. Oh, God. She thought it was... Oh, she had that bush broke her fall the entire way down. Right. So she scraped up. But the slip, I didn't see that she...

She stepped into nothing. Well, no, I think she stepped onto the side here. Like the... If you look right here, right when she takes this next step, that foot slides. Oh. I think it slides because it got wet. Watch this. Oh, yeah.

You're right. You're right. Oh! Yeah. I thought she thought that bush was like... That's a horrible design. That's horrible. That's crazy.

There's... There's eight inches you can step on, and then you'll fall to your death. Yeah, there's a wet, slippery surface. That is so dumb. That's, I mean, honestly, I'm surprised that got, that was allowed. I know. This, I like this dude in the speedo, though. This guy's fucking cool.

Yeah, definitely. It's got a nice piece. Let's see it. I was distracted by the lady falling. Hold on. He comes around here. Oh, okay. There we go.

Cool, man. I like that this video is labeled dumb broad fall. I'm going to go, guys. I mean, that is like an infinity pool and theory kind of. Yeah. That's really, that's, yeah, I get like... Safety-wise, by the way?

This is like, it is the worst design. It's illegal. Like, I really don't think you can get that pass in a city. This can't be stateside. This has to be... No, no. Speedo, you're right. That's the giveaway.

Yeah, it's just like a hair implant country, I think. Yeah, this is Where is this? No, it doesn't say. Doesn't even matter. I'll never go there. We're never going to that backyard. I also did.

Whoever owns it should be like, just so you know. Yeah. That side of the pool? Pretty big fall. Yeah, don't walk on there to get your life water or whatever the fuck that is. Oh, shit. No.

Fuck yeah. It looks not stable. Nope, no, no. You're going to carry the air conditioning unit up a ladder. that is on like scaffolding that isn't secure

nope oh man what do you think is going to slide out the board of the scaffolding I think the ladder's going to slide okay yeah oh oh oh oh

it was oh no that is a scaffolding holy shit I think you're supposed to weigh that stuff down that was the worst idea though executed ever

dude some of these guys I had a, my whole front of my house apparently had a bunch of mold in it. There was a big leak and there was a fucking, the whole thing we've been dealing with. But these guys came out to paint it or no, the framers came out and, uh, do I just put the new wood up. And they had a scaffolding situation on like, I have like a garden bed that's like stone. It's like, it's like kind of level. So, you know, I wouldn't want to like put stuff on top of it.

They had scaffolding with a tire and then like four blocks of wood on one side. And then they were all, they're resting everything on. I was like, dude, you guys, some of those guys. are completely fearless. Yeah. Like those picks when they put up two things and they're just like a

like a metal plank you can walk across of like two shaky ladders. I'm like, this is how I do it every day. Oh, it's crazy. This guy's never doing this again.

No, he might be. What happens in these countries? I don't know if can you like get workers comp or they just like kick you down the fucking bank of the river like get the fuck out of it.

They're just like oh, you didn't know how to do it right. You're supposed to carry it on your left shoulder. Yeah. You're going to die now, man. That sucks. He's definitely had like a shattered hip femur or something. He's fucked. I mean,

I... Yeah. Yeah, he's... Oh, no. He's not good. Ah. Although, how sick would that have been if he had made that? Oh, my God. If he got that up there? And see, then he would have done it a hundred more time. He'd be like, yeah, I always do this. Yeah, this is how I do it.

You just take a scaffolding, you put a ladder on it, and then you just carry up the air conditioning unit. What are you talking about? I know. Like, that sounds crazy. Damn. He's fucked. He's totally fucked, dude. So, wait, would you... You're pulling for the U.S. Yeah, I hope they win. I want the U.S. I mean, they're not.

I've heard it's like impossible. They're not going to win. They're not going to win. Just be the final, for me, that would be the final thing. That's what the rest of the world has. Like, we have soccer. The U.S. wins the World Cup once. That would be insane. Like, yeah, you guys, just say we're the best.

That's all. Oh, my God. Just say we're the best. I don't even care about it like that. It's just very funny. The thing is you carry that title for four years. I know, I know. And even like 40 years later, people still flex their World Cup, you know.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's forever. Also, we have, these are not, you know, soccer players are good, but these are not our country's best athletes. Not even close. Not even, like, remotely close. So, like. Because it's not cool.

Yeah. That's why. Yeah. So if, like, if we win, that's, I mean, that's crazy. That's like, uh, they're essentially in the grand scheme of athletes. They're like minor league. This is where, like, also this happened in baseball, right? So baseball, like, the nick, one of the nicknames is America's past.

It was our, it was our sport. And for a long time, like, you would have. some amazing athletes play baseball. And then you'd watch professional baseball and be like, holy shit, like these guys are amazing. Baseball became less cool, less popular. And what happened is our, I'm talking about Americans, best athletes,

picked other sports. They went into football, they went into basketball, they went into other sports that they wanted to pursue more. Other countries then became the countries that supplied the best baseball players. So now you look at like Major League Baseball, it is like a largely Latin American. Oh, yeah.

You know what I mean? You have Dominicans and Cubans and a lot of players from other countries because it's the emphasis in that country like to play this game. If you had a thing where you could get American, like, our best athletes to be like, fuck you, I want to play soccer. We would have some wild athletes playing. It would be insane. We'd have a seven foot five goalie.

We would have a guy just blocking the entire goal. and like our the speed positions would be like world class yeah players it would be unbelievable I mean here's a deal we could win the world if we wanted to if we had the if we really wanted to win the world cup

it's ours we just we have better shit to do imagine devon hester running the fucking you know all the best like wide receivers and cornerbacks in the NFL come on come on man it's like what are you talking about it's nice of us to let them have that that's all shit that is

That's kind of American generosity. In a lot of ways, you could say that the World Cup is America saying you're welcome. Literally, they should whoever wins, do like a pledge allegiance to the flag. Yeah. Thank you for not putting your best out there. Thanks for letting us have this. It's really cool that you guys don't care that much. I am glad they're here, though.

I do like people getting to come. Everyone I see seems to be having a blast here. I also, I really do get a kick out of these, I don't know, these videos that I see posted of people visiting being like, look at this fucking Walmart. Yeah. Like, I've never seen some shit like this. My dad recently just got to go and eat. They had no idea what a Buckees was.

They're like, oh, gas station pull in. My dad copped up. He might have copped like 10 pounds of beef jerky. Really? So stoked. He was like, that place is really nice. That's wow. It's pretty cool.

He had like four different flavors of jerky. Flew home was like, that was kind of might have been a peak experience. That's awesome. Yeah, he was pretty stoked on the place. And I love the Japanese. Oh, yeah. trying barbecue. They're having ribs.

And they're like, I try barbecue first time. And they take it and they're like, wow. So cool. What's this here? What is? Oh, somebody sent us their Fourth of July plans. Oh, nice.

Let's see what that is. What's it? What am I doing for the Fourth of July 250th anniversary of Independence in America? I'm a prisoner of Connecticut being tortured. There will be no fucking party. Oh, there you go. Oh, no. Yeah, that...

Not everybody has the same Fourth of July plans. 250. 250 is a big one. That's a telltale sign that like every three words look to the sign as a crazy guy. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I like... The head tick. I might bring that to the stage. Yeah. Yeah, what am I doing? Are you doing a bunch of road dates? Coming up in the fall. I've been doing some summer,

just, you know, the summertime, doing some stuff. Yeah. Fall, I'm kicking back up. Nice. firing it up again. I'm trying to build a new hour, dude. Yeah.

That's what, that's the, I think that's the most fun, honestly. It's both. Yeah. So you have both emotions, I think, happened. This is what happened to me every time as you go, how the fuck am I going to do this? There's no way this is possible. And then when you do, every time you do crack a code, you're like, this is the best. Yep.

It's amazing. It just sucks when you kind of stink for a while again. Yeah. God damn, I stink again. Yeah. But yeah, did you, did you film, you filmed a special in the, you filmed a special in the, celebrity theater, right? Yeah, in Phoenix?

Dude, how? I did that place and I was like, this is the hardest. It was, I felt like it was at a party and there's too many people and I had a kind of like constantly check on everybody. Working in the round.

Oh, it was nuts. At least like if they have a screen, you're like, all right, these guys can see me. There's no screens. You're just like, hey, oh, wow. I think that I like the, for me, because I'm such normally a pretty standstill guy, the little bit of movement

that it makes me do makes me more engaged. Yeah. You know? Because I don't all of a sudden become like hyperactive but I stay walking the whole time. I think it brings a little something

to it to the energy. I think so. I really, I was in my head during the majority of the hour but I kept feeling like a very, it made me almost be very polished and I'd be like talking and everything I say.

I was like, I have to believe in this. Yeah. Because if I'm up here, you can't flounder around like this. So I had to be like, I kept remind. finding myself of Christopher Titus. That's who I kept thinking of the whole time

was up there. And another thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just making me laugh. I was like, damn, I'm Mr. Showbiz. There's another one in Long Island. Have you done Westbury? That's also like a 2,000 or 2,500 cedar in the round.

There's only like two or three left in the country. Really? Yeah. It's fun. I like, actually, I do like the round, but I was like, man, this is, we don't have a giant screen to rely on. It's like, yeah, these guys can't see shit back here. Yeah, yeah.

I got to turn that around. literally looking at you. Yeah, I know. When you do the arenas, you see people. Yeah, look at the screen. The craziest is when they sit up front and they still go. Yeah. To the theater.

You're like, I'm right in front of you, dude. I'm right here. Yeah. I'm right here. We'll get tickets to see Matt at Matt McCusker.com and check out Matt and Shane's secret podcast on the interwebs and also on Patreon. Thanks for coming in, dude. Dude, thanks for having me.

Always fun to see you. Yeah, man. We will see you guys next week. I speak good English, you. Do not speak. You do you do, do not do you. I'll be one can not talk. Four steps.

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