Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Merry JEANS-mas! w/ Jeff Dye | YMH Ep. 790

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

Jeff's new special Last Cowboy In LA is out right now on youtube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwRz8rvGizI&t=2s SPONSORS: -Get 20% off + 2 FREE pillows for all mattress orders https://HelixSleep.com/YMH -Try BlueChew FREE-just pay $5 shipping at checkout–when you visit http://BlueChew.com - That’s http://BlueChew.com to receive your first month FREE. -Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. -Use code YMHJOY24 with DoorDash for 50% off your first order. -Paid Endorser of Rogue, but Tom is also a current customer and his opinions of Rogue Nicotine Pouches remain honest and based on his personal experience. Ho Ho Ho, chomos! It's almost Christmas and Tim y Tina are already into the holiday spirit this week on Your Mom's House Podcast. Tom opens the show with some deserving apologies from the Booth Boys, who are back with some handwritten letters expressing their regret from laughing at his life or death moment. Tom also brings up a clip from an old YMH episode showing how concerned he was when Christina was choking on the show and he didn't laugh or mock her. They next open the show with a clip of a pro fisherman with a really cool last name. The Main Mommies also share some huge news about Charo, talk about UHC CEO shooter Luigi Mangione's thirst traps, share their thoughts on American Nightmare, and react to some disappointing news about Tony Johns. Tom and Christina are then joined by the last cowboy in LA, Jeff Dye! He's got a new special out and he's got a lot of thoughts on big city girls in boots and dresses. The mommies talk to him about taboo jokes, offensive last names, politicians on podcasts, Trumps weight loss, dumb girls stuff, then they check out some Horrible or Hilarious clips, and some of Christina's curations! Merry Chrysler to all, happy holidays to some, don't forget your Uvers, and to all a good night! Your Mom’s House Ep. 790 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of Your Mom's House podcast was brought to you by Rogue. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. What's up, everybody? It's Tom Segura. We're almost into the new year and I'll be bringing my Come Together tour to a bunch of more cities in 2025. January 18th, I'll be in Philadelphia. I haven't been there in a while. January 24th, San Francisco.

The 25th of January, I'm in Reno. January 30th, I'm in Athens, Georgia. And January 31st, Savannah. February 1st, I'll be in North Charleston. I can't wait to hit all these cities. Get your tickets now at tomscuro.com slash tour, and I will see you there. Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house. As a Fizz member, you can look forward to free data, big savings on plans, and having

your unused data roll over to the following month. Every month at Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at Fizz.ca. Bon giorno. Welcome to your mom's house. This is very exciting. This is actually gonna count as our Christmas episode

because we don't have an episode Christmas day. We're taking the day off. Everybody's having the day off. So this is our Merry Christmas episode. Baby Yezushka's birthday. He was born. Baby Yezushka was born and then he takes over the world real soon.

That's right, and then he dies, and then you push a rock away. And then 2,000 years later, everyone's like, that was the guy. That was our homie. He was the best. Yeah. We have so much fun stuff planned for today.

Number one, I'll let me just tell you, you've noticed that my facial hair is different yet again, so everyone's gonna be like, what's going on, why do you look like a Latin mechanic? And the reason is that I just finished finally wrapping up that television show. It's the reason I had a shaved face, and it's the reason I have this goddamn goatee. It looks so good on you.

I like it, it reminds me of the 90s guys. The 90s, yeah, the 90s were a good era. You look good with it. Yeah, I'm just letting everything else come back. If it were in fashion right now, I'd say keep it, because I do enjoy it on your face. And the cool thing is, it is not in fashion. It's not in fashion right now, you can't do it.

You can bring it back. I think I'll just let the rest of the face come together. So much to mention. I don't even know where to start I guess we should start by pointing out that we have finally after A lot of back and forth a lot of really emotional chats we have welcomed back our original Booth crew. That's right. So they're here today, but they said that they wanted to say something before we moved on.

Yeah, you know, we all just wanted to extend our apologies. I wanted to say I extend my sincerest apologies for my inappropriate reaction during your moment of peril. Laughing while you were choking was not my finest hour, and I promise it wasn't because I was enjoying your distress. I'd like to formally ask for my job back. I promise to show the utmost respect for your health and wellbeing moving forward. This is stupid. I will also learn the Heimlich maneuver and have it on standby at all times and

refrain from laughing at any other life threatening situations. Very well. Are you happy? I just wanted to hear the rest before I commented. Thank you for your understanding. If you have any left for me and for considering my request to return, if nothing else, I hope this apology serves as proof that I do in fact take you and your life very seriously.

That's a good apology. Thank you, Josh. It's ridiculous. Tom. Your ego is just life very seriously. That's a good apology. Thank you, Josh. That's ridiculous, Tom. Your ego's just gone. Okay, I wrote a letter to... Oh my God. Thank you, Chad. To Mr. Tom Segura.

First time embarrassed and ashamed of my actions the other day when you nearly choked to death on the show. In the moment, I unwisely believed that I was laughing at Christina's reaction to your convulsion, but I see now that that may be interpreted as me laughing at you and I should have known better. You know while cartel videos are something to laugh at my boss choking definitely is not especially with all you've been through with Invisalign this year. Oh my god. It was a rough year for me. And you know many

people don't know the risks associated with Invisalign so I did some research to educate myself and some of those include tooth decay, allergic reactions, and gum disease. Yep. Which can lead to life-threatening situations. I was trying to tell everybody thank you for digging out those details. So all this is to say that I feel dumber than a Chris and I will certainly learn from my mistakes. And I appreciate you letting me back in the booth and thank you for your service. Thank you, thank you Chad.

This is pathetic. You should be ashamed of yourself Tom for enjoying these. I don't think so. Now, you don't think this- Is there anyone else in there? Oh yeah, I'm in here. Yeah, so I wrote, wrote a little something. So, I mean, I wrote that, I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I ain't really do shit, to be honest, but at the same time, like, I ain't trying to put my man down you know I'm saying so like if an apology gonna be what you need to feel right like we could go there okay but like at the same time like I straight up you know I ain't really do shit like that like I told you what it was so like you know we could

talk but yeah that's I stopped writing thank you I appreciate your choice of words and I feel what you're saying it. Very unique way of doing it and it's very any. Well, yeah, I don't think that was an apology. Well, it was any. It was any. It was I know where he's coming from. I said the word apology. You didn't hear it. I know. I barely said. Yeah, you said if you need one, I will be there.

Yeah, right. So I get it. I get it. I get it. I've been around you enough to know exactly how it works What was that? What was that noise? He was a phlegmy cough. That was disgusting. It was what's called a productive, productive cough. Yeah. Should you be in the office with that? Yeah, that was terrible. And might I add, you know, in lieu of, in lieu, in addition to this lackluster apology that Eni just gave, I kind of enjoyed the other crew better.

Can I tell you something that I, I know what you mean because it was a young, fresh. It felt so fresh and young and vibrant. I don't know if they're experienced though. I think, I think after a couple of weeks, you'd be like, oh fuck, what's going on? But because these guys, this is like the varsity team, but it is fun when you bring your kids to school

You know what I mean? Bring your kids to work. I think they were it was kind of they were cute It was a much younger it was much younger much hipper the googling was a lot slower. Let's be honest I don't really know they didn't really know but I enjoyed it But I have to pivot away from this because I actually feel like after a lot of thought, these guys weren't the worst when I nearly choked to death. The worst person was definitely you. And it's not lost on me and it's not lost on anybody that watched me basically

hang on for my life and have my spouse mock me as I was on death's door That's so funny It's really crazy and then you know what I wasn't really remembering this but then somebody pointed something out Death's door. Yeah, I was so we got this email I Recently introduced my husband to the full YMH experience episode 788 where Tom nearly dies Choking please right after finishing this episode I wanted to show him more and I clicked on the episode with Charo and Blanca in this episode

We noticed a moment where Christina chokes on water and Tom shows genuine love and concern Not laughter I felt like I needed to have Tom's back here and wanted to provide the evidence to help redeem him after the way he was treated. I tune in weekly and have never wanted to write into the show more until this evidence presented itself. However I do, you'd ask Tom, please forgive the staff and your beautiful co-host everyone deserves another chance

Keep them high and tight love Keely from Oregon. Well, let's talk about let's see what you're talking about Let's see those. I doubt that if you even noticed my choice the difference. Here's me hanging on. I didn't even notice Okay, here's me just trying trying to live. Hey guys I was listening to this to the Adrienne Apoluchi episode. But by the way, she has a great new special out on Netflix. I'm on Netflix. You guys are of course, what? I just choked for a second.

I can't choke. Hey, fuck you. It was just scary. On Netflix. Why is it scary? I got scared. I thought you were dying. Everyone's fired.

Okay, first of all. On Netflix. I'm being re-traumatized. Just trying to show you something. I don't like this at all. I don't like where this is going. Do you want me to hold your hand? No, it's just about to be, seriously, I'm about to shut the studio down. Okay, so that's how you react to your spouse literally having a life-threatening moment.

And then here's how this is the other way. This is the only thing I wanna tell you. It's because she's a teacher. It's the most annoying thing in the world that if you don't prove to Blanca I'm already coughing like 20 minutes. It can be three days with the same topic. Yeah, that's true.

That is true. But I tell you what, every message, anything I ever send to Maria, I send it under Maria. So why I would. I am the mother, don't you see? I know what I'm doing with my hold on why am I T you keep moving your chair by the way I was choked this is

ginger tea okay sorry go ahead wait so people who don't know you guys are sisters do we clarify that beginning well beginning? Well, just look at us. I'm frustrating you again. You have to look at us and you know what she said. Now, this is- Yes. I mean, here's what I saw, Your Honor. A woman coughing and choking for 20 whole minutes before her spouse even hears or acknowledges- Well, okay, first of all, it was annoying to listen to. Of course it's annoying.

I agree. Nobody wanted to hear that. I don't want to cough. But my thing was just like, you're about to want to off my thing was just like you about to die and then I was like you good And you told me you're good. I did not mock you oh My god the look of a disdain disdain and annoyance at my coughing everybody hated it Everybody hated it because you it was prolonged if you're gonna choke make it quick don't fucking make it a whole show That was really long. It was really horrible. Do you think I wanted to choke like that? Sounds like you were looking for attention.

It didn't seem like you were actually choking. Wow. Yeah, it was like, oh, is this moment not about me? Wow. That's what it felt like. Bold, bold. That is unbelievable. You think I deliberately choked

so that you could ignore me for 20 minutes choking and going? I think you put on a bit of a show. I think you put on a bit of a show. But I just wanna thank Keely for pointing that out There's two different types of people fucking Keely or people trader and that so he leaves a gender trader. Mm-hmm Let's um, I know let's put choking past us. Hopefully for the rest of the day Yeah, and watch watch your Netflix specials Okay, you know mush mouth lately Yeah, and watch your Netflix specials. Okay.

You've been a little mush mouth lately. Let's get into the show. Ready for the show? I'm ready. Let's do it. Hey everyone, James Niggemeier here. A lot of people have been hitting me up on Instagram and texting me, where's the merch? And I appreciate everyone's patience through this entire process.

Finally got it sourced out to DavVilleOriginals.com. I'll post that information in the link below, but here it is. James Niggermeyer merch, ready to go. They are live on the website now and available in medium all the way to triple extra large, available in gray and black. Check them out at De vill originals.com appreciate your patience get your James Negomare merch now he's a great fisherman yeah yeah I love fishing with Tom Segura and Christina Pujets.

Welcome to your mom's house. Hey everyone, James Nigermeyers here. So if you're into Bass Pro shop, fish style, fishing, all that, he's one of the big stars. He is. Is he legitimate? He's super legit. Yeah. He's got some new merch. I'm just trying to help him plug his merch.

That's why he's selling the merch for his skills? Yeah. He's a pro, man. I didn't know that. I can really fish. Yeah. If you like fishing, watching fishing, that's a pro. He's a pro man. I didn't know that I can really fish Yeah, yeah, if you like fishing watching fishing. Yeah, I had a feeling his audience like a lot of the xls Double it goes up to triple x he said yeah, and it's still the holiday season if you want to rush you can get your james niggam

Our merch now. Oh my god, it's a merch Yeah, anyway, merry christmas jeans. Merry jeans miss. Merry jeans miss to you. Um It's my favorite time of year It's not mine. It's not my favorite time. I love christmas And it's my favorite time of year. It's not mine. It's not my favorite time. I love Christmas. That's my favorite one. But anyway, I thought I would bring some cheer

to the world, joy. And I noticed that you don't have any holiday cheer on. That's why I brought you something to wear. I don't want to do this. Perfect. You always look like a sad dog. Thanks. When you put a costume on a dog.

That's exactly what you are. Every time I dress you up for Halloween or Christmas cute. Yeah. You look so happy. You always look like a sad bastard hound. You're like, mwah. OK. Well, thanks for that.

You got it. There is a. Yeah, there's Tom with his little Christmas cheer. Mwah. Yawr. That's totally why you look like. A sad dog. I'm a sad dog, everybody. Yeah, but you look much more happy.

There's a new controversy. I don't know if you're aware of this. Sure, what's that? I guess I did a bumper that played on a bunch of episodes. And everybody is saying that I misspoke in this. And they're really coming down on me hard. Would you like to see it? Of course.

What's everybody? What the fuck, dude? it? Of course. What's up everybody? What the fuck dude? What's everybody? No, what's up everybody? No, it's what's everybody. What's everybody? What's everybody? What's everybody?

What's everybody? Why are you saying what's everybody? It's what's up everybody. What's up everybody? It's not what I heard. If you're retarded. What's up everybody? What's up everybody? No. What's up, everybody? What's up, everybody?

No. What's up, everybody? Your brain said, what's up, everybody? But your dumb retarded mouth said, what's everybody? No. Yeah, your basset hound mouth. What's up, everybody? Can I tell you something?

You need to be checked out. I think you're going to have a stroke. You're going to have a stroke pretty soon. First, you're choking on a net-fla special Netflix special and now what's everybody? Your brain and your mouth aren't working together anymore. Okay. Well, everybody is saying this. Okay. Forgot the up with R2D. Yeah. I agree. It makes you sound very retarded. I may be a poor, but I know words real good. And that's not how you say that, Tom. This is so...

What's up, everybody? What's everybody? No, it's not what's up, everybody. It is what's up. It's clear. What's everybody? What's up, everybody? It's Charles. What's...

Up, everybody. That's maybe closer to what it was. What's up, everybody? What's everybody? What's up, everybody? I didn't even hear the up, though. What's everybody? What's up, everybody? I didn't even hear the up, though. I did.

You said it in your dumb brain. The ghost of Larry King has- See? You need to go to a doctor. You're getting old. Yeah. What's everybody? Fucking A.

It is what's everybody. I hear what's everybody. Sucking souffle. Yeah. Mark Walberg. It is what's everybody. I hear what got it. Sockers for playin'. You know what the greatest part about the sockers is you play. What's everybody? Yeah.

Do it again. What's everybody? I hear it clearly. Yeah, it's what's everybody. No, I hear it clearly with what's up. Guys, what do you hear in the booth? I personally like my job and therefore I, Oh shit, that's right.

I refuse to speak on this. He clearly says, what's up everybody? No shut up. Okay, you know what we need to do, take an anonymous vote because these people are scared if you vote. Oh bullshit. What's everybody? It's Charles.

That's what it sounds like to me. What's everybody? Hey everybody, it's Charles. Yeah. What's everybody? Yeah, that's terrible. It's what's everybody. What's going on? that's terrible. It's what's everybody. What's going on?

It's Charles. Oh, yeah. There he is. Oh, try. Oh, say around eight o'clock. Oh, he's the greatest. So I'm going to start going, what's up, everybody? Yeah. Enunciate. Oh, shush. start going what's up everybody. Yeah enunciate You're an actor you're doing stuff and showbiz. Yeah, you've got to enunciate

And I just for the record you waited a long time to before you intervene with my choking episode and I'm getting angry thinking About it. Yeah, I was already good Wish you'd and I'm getting angry thinking about it even. Yeah, good. I was already. Good. I wish you'd. Wish what, Tom? I wish you'd never choked. I was really worried about you. I was super concerned. You know what?

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Oh shut up. It's a video, here you go. It's a puke video. Why are you always trying to fight somebody, bro? I don't care, like I am from the streets and gang gang, bitch. Yeah. Because I am from the same street.

You are not from the streets. Yes I am, because I am about to log, bro. Shut the same street. You are not from the streets. Yes I am. Because I'm about to die like you all. Shut the fuck up. Oh. It's like you and the kids playing PlayStation. I hear you guys downstairs. Merry Christmas.

I loved it. I know. I know you liked it. And we love, I love. So funny. You hit a bat. Dang. Yeah, and you know, someone like that,

you keep saying, oh no you're not. That bat will come swinging at you. Oh for sure. That's the danger of playing with, you know. Not a lot of impulse control. No, in any direction. Sexual, eating. Fighting.

Fighting. Swinging a bat. Swinging a bat. You look what you fucking did and they go, yeah, sorry. But that's why I like, I mean I've said this before publicly. There is a chain of stores here in Austin, Texas, and they, I think, exclusively employ.

Towns. And people who are challenged. And I take our kids there just to experience that, just to be like, hey, there's different types of people. And I love that they employ those folks, you know, and because that's what we used to do in the 80s. You would go and you would, at Gelson's, the bagger would be special needs or something. And it was way more normal. It felt way more normal to be like, here's Mikey, Mikey. And then they always want to help you to your car. It's really sweet.

At the store. It's very sweet. No, Mikey's my favorite. Yeah. And I tip him, like I give him like $10. And it's like, it's the most amount of money. That's great. For him.

And he loves it. Okay, that's good. That's good. It's really nice of you. I'm serious. You ever give it Down Syndrome Kids $10? I've never done that. It's like giving them a million dollars.

Okay. They loved it. So what's the gift that you have? Oh, I forgot I got so excited thinking about my yes. I know okay. It's in the folder there right Josh. No hold on Hold on. I really want you to prepare yourself and ground yourself Shit take your shoes off go outside walk in the grass really feel the earth. Okay feel my love for you Okay, there you go happy Merry Christmas coffee time strong black coffee best drink of the day and today it's a special coffee time Tom it's coffee time just for you and I've got it

on good authority I have Christina tells me you like a little bit of milk in your coffee. Well I think I could do that for you Tom. I'm sure I've got some milk somewhere for your coffee. A little splash. Oh Mickey, yeah, Mickey just right for you. A hot, hot strong black coffee You'll enjoy it. I'm sure

Enjoy your coffee Christina sends a low and so do I Thank you, I Love how you're blushing well for people that don, every morning, Christina sends me a video of this lady. Katherine Kan. Her name is Katherine. She's not just a lady. Every morning.

She's at KatherineKan69 on Instagram. Every morning, I open my phone and it's this lady going, coffee time. Strong black coffee. Best drink of the day. And then it's just that. And there's a thousand variations of it. And every day I'm like, right, good morning. It's every day.

But I love Kath, KathrinCan69 on Instagram. She also has an Etsy store, Kathrin's Chest, on Etsy where she sells her coffee time mug. So thank you so much, Catherine. Yeah, that's very, very nice of you, Catherine. And this is a perfect segue. Perfect segue. We actually have to tell everybody.

This is a YMH exclusive. Coffee time. This is as fucking big as it gets. What? Chips in a bowl? Chips in a bowl. Yeah. It doesn't get any bigger than this. No. In just a few days, there's going to be a new resident of Austin, Texas.

Oh, that's right. I don't think the audience knows. I don't think we've told them. Well, I guess it's official. Charo is moving to Austin. Yeah, so. Now, we have been talking to her, of course, about coming in here more and getting involved in podcasts and whatnot.

But you know, she's 80 years old. She is a retiree. And she's always telling me she's like, you know, I don't have your income. I need like she's always just like, can you pay for my gas today? Like it's just insane So I'm like, look, why don't you fucking do something? like do something that generate a little extra revenue in your life and She's like what and so over Thanksgiving we introduced the idea of her getting an only fans go

of her getting an OnlyFans going. And it was the best conversation ever. I laughed so hard. Because everybody at the table was like, yeah, you should. And she's like, what? So anyways, we told her that this lady, is her name Catherine? Catherine Cann.

As in, I go, look, why don't you, these are the things I told her. I go, people will pay What is it 599 690? What's the monthly? It's whatever you want it to be. Okay, so I was like, yeah I said something like five bucks and people I go will subscribe to you and then you put out things like this where you Say like good morning. Yeah, and I say you go you have a great day and I said people will watch you just like if you just want to set up a camera and go about Your your morning routine in the kitchen. Yeah, and I go and then maybe Every once in a while you let a little fart go, you know, oopsie and she goes I don't want to do it

I go no, no, you don't have to make like very I go go, just like, yeah, just like, oh, there's one there. And you don't even have to look at the camera, you just let it go and you go about your morning. And she's like, what? And then I was like, you know, and the people will like message you and you can message people, like, you just, you know, you don't have to be like,

it doesn't have to be like super graphic. It doesn't have to be sexual. No, which by the way, It's not sexual. was how that platform started. It was just supposed to be sexual. No. Which by the way, was how that platform started. It was just supposed to be. Oh really? For people that just wanted to engage with fans and it morphed into this thing.

And then they did this, I guess, second play where they've, as a platform, they've been like, no, this is, you know, DJ Khaled has one of these of like, hey, I'm grilling in my, it's supposed to be access to people, right? And they just had allowed for the sexually graphic stuff to happen, point being, I've been encouraging her to do this. That's money on the table. And what I would love to ask you,

the viewers and the listeners of this show, please, please, please record a short five, 10 second video, tag at YMH Studios on Instagram, on Twitter, or you can email in your mom's podcast at gmail.com and just say like, and I'm asking, because we want to put together a montage for her of like showing her the potential of doing this.

Just the video being like, hey, I'm so and so, I'm Jim, I'm James, I'm Melissa, and, Charle, I heard you're considering OnlyFans, I would love to sign up for a monthly OnlyFans account with you. I would pay and say how much you would pay. Yeah, and then be like, I would pay five, $10 a month for that, you know, and I'd love to see a good morning from Charle, and like, let us build this mega montage where it becomes undeniable, where she goes,

she's like, shit, is that like a hundred people saying that they want to sign up for it? And then we'll get her to say her good mornings and to greet you and have a little, and then we'll gradually just try to ease in some fart content in there. But I need your help. I need your help. So please, this is what YMH is all about. Please let's work together on making this happen. Just a short, just has to be a few seconds, say your name and say,

Charo, I'd love to sign up for your OnlyFans and spend $10, $5 a month and tag at YMH studios on Instagram or send it in Twitter or even email it your mom's podcast at gmail.com thank you so much and I must say that Katherine can 69 brings me so much joy does she does because I can tell how sincerely she wants me to have some strong black Coffee and it is the best drink of the day and it's so simple Yeah, and it's so inviting and you know, there's a lot of people out there would love to have a good morning

It's speaking at Christmas. What I have been Pretty relentless. I would say without overdoing it Speaking of my love of rogues, you know? And I made a call, I told them, I was like, I love these fucking things. I introduce them to people all the time, wherever I go. I'm like, if you had a rogue, I'd just do it. And it's a genuine thing.

There's rogues on your nightstand, there's rogues on the floor, there's rogues in the bathroom. I get people into rogues everywhere I go. And so I said on this podcast. I love it. I love it They sent me a present. No I don't think you deserve any presents because you watched me choke die. Thank you. Thanks rogue. I got the present It says flavors that pack a punch. Wow Let's see the cool little box. Oh shit. Hey there. Thank you

Take a punch of spearmint. Oh shit. Hey there. Thank you. Take a punch of spearmint. I love spearmint. Here we go. That's a really nice box, Tommy. Oh shit. Wow. And it has a, it's flavors the pack of punch. Which flavors are there?

So they came with gloves. Oh. Fuck yeah. I like when companies do cool shit for their promotions. That's a terrible sound to do in the microphone. I think people listening in earbuds were not happy about that.

Nobody liked that. Oh my God. Nobody likes that shit, dude. That's what your mom's house is all about. Doing shit nobody likes. It's showing stuff you don't wanna see and hearing things you don't wanna hear. That's so true.

Welcome to your mom's house. That's so true. That's our slogan. All things terrible. Oh man, this is awesome. Wait, what flavors did you get? Okay, so they sent me experiment, which I've had. That's awesome.

Mango, I've never had mango. Okay, mango. I'm gonna try that. Peppermint, I've definitely had. I have peppermint in my pocket. What else do they have? Citrus, this looks like a new bold citrus. What else? Wintergreen. I've had those. They're delicious.

I love wintergreen flavors. And apple. Shit! This is super exciting. Thank you, Rogue. These are flavors that indeed pack a punch. Wow. So, let me get this off. Jesus, that was... And the slamming of the box. Nobody wanted that. Okay, what should I start? I've never tried citrus.

Try citrus. Would you like to try one? Um, no, because I've got this beautiful lipstick on that I sell. It's called Berlin. You mind if I try one? Hell yeah. Which one do you want to try? What you doing, a mango? I just tried citrus. Do you want to try citrus? All right, come try it

This is awesome Roge's all day all the boys in Austin are into the rogues. Yeah Rogues are the way you guys are all into this Tom. Is it okay if any grabs me one? And there's other flavors if you want to try. All the boys in Texas. That's really nice of them. What a nice company. That's very nice of them. Thank you. By the way, thank you. I tried not to overdo my desire for more rogues, but this is very, very appreciated. I really do enjoy it. Okay. Do I feel like Katherine Can is like the ghost of my Christmas future? Like maybe that's why I like her so much. Okay feel like Katherine can is like the ghost of my Christmas future Like maybe that's why I like her so much

I feel like she and I look alike and if I had my real tits, that's exactly like this is you in the future Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like yeah, I identify with her. Yeah, you should identify Identify with her too coffee time coffee time strong black Well, this is I don't even know where to go. There's so many fucking crazy updates. There's so many places to be. Okay. I think because.

There's so much happening in our YMH crazy world. There's so much happening. I'm gonna put these here so I can grab rogues whenever I want. Yeah you should. This is part of our set deck now. I love that. Okay, you should. This is part of our set deck now. I love that. Okay, so this podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.

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It's never happened in YMH history, and I just hope that we can continue to encourage him to stay off the cool guy list. It's never happened. I don't think we've ever taken a guy, right, off the list. Off the list? Once you're cool, it's pretty much for life. You're cool for life, bro. So I'm so proud of him that he's cleaned up and that he has a job and that he has a girlfriend and he's reunited with his family.

And it sounds like things are going really, really well for him. Yeah. And? And that being said, I was wondering if it's okay with you, if we could take his portrait off the cool guy wall. Cause he's not a cool guy anymore. He's not a cool guy anymore. It's the first time we've taken a cool guy off the cool guy wall because he's not a cool guy anymore. He's not a cool guy anymore.

It's the first time we've taken a cool guy off the wall. I think he's earned it. Wow. Should we should we take Tony John's off the wall? Take him off. Take him off. Let's see. Here you go. See you later, Tony John's. Wow. Here you go go Tony. But also not, we don't want to put him like completely away.

Do you know what I mean? I think you should. Really? You think he's done? Okay. He's done. Yeah, he's off. He's off. And I also have a Tony John update here. Okay. Here's off. And I also have a Tony John update here. Okay. Here it is. This is the update that we got. This came in later in the day after we recorded. So here you go.

Just wanna let everybody know, I've got a lot of anxiety tonight. My balls are smoking. Fuck, man, lost my job, dude job dude there's a lot going on man fuck you know what it's just wild man because it's you know what when i get anxiety i get very very horny and i get very very anxious and i get a lot of anxiety and i'm just being straight up my balls they are smoking tonight fuck man They are smoky tonight. Fuck. Man. No, he lost his job?

He lost his job the day that we talked to him. Yeah. Fuck. Don't do it as bad. All right. And then he talked to Josh Potter on Behind the Scenes. Oh, he did. You mentioned you're working at Lowe's now, and I saw some of your Instagram. And he talked to Josh Potter on Behind the Jeans.

Oh, he did? Yeah. You mentioned you're working at Lowe's now and I saw some of your Instagram. That's cool. I mean, hey, dude, what are you doing out at Lowe's? Ah, man, dude, they canned me Friday. No! Why did they do that?

What happened? Oh, yeah, sure. Breaking news here on Behind the Jeans. What happened? Breaking news here on the behind the jeans. What happened? Oh, man. They claimed it was for attendance, but like, it's iffy, man. I don't think, you know. I just, I don't know, man.

It's just real iffy. Heather wants to know, should we start beef with Lowe's? We got to get on the anti-Lowe's train. Oh, no. No, man. We'll make them. We'll make Lowe's regret man. We'll make them. We'll make those regret this. We can do that.

There you go. We stand with Tony Johnson. Always. Yeah, what a bummer, though, man. I think it's. Yeah, I know what to do. Yeah, I think it's. I think it's time Yeah, I think it's probably best

Chicks you can't even get a girl to fucking hang something up, right? Well, now that he's back, I think it deserves another, you know. Well, I hope Tony finds another gig. I think it's important, you know. I think it's really important. He needs a job ASAP. He's in Upstate New York, is that right? I think Rochester area.

Oh, okay. Well, there's it's really important. Yeah, he needs a job ASAP. He's in upstate New York. Is that right? Okay, well there's plenty of places there you can do job please Yeah, he needs to get a job to get his life together to have somewhere to go every day and his balls are full right now And yeah, that's dangerous. Yeah, they're smoking. He said his ball is smoking He said my balls are smoking right now. Well, did he lose his girlfriend too? They didn't mention anything about that. My balls are smoking.

His balls are smoking. I've never heard that before. But it is good. When I get anxiety, I get very, very horny. It's good to see him back, though. Why am I happy to have the old Tony Johnson? Well, it's familiar. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, it's a trauma you know. Yeah. Those feel good, but it feels familiar. Yep. Aw, man. Yep. Fucking Lowe's, pinchy fucking Lowe's, eh? Yeah.

How could they let Tony Johns go? Don't they know who they have? That's a celebrity. I know. Fuck. For attendance, he said? Yeah, well, he said it's very iffy. Yeah.

He's like, they said it's a tardiness or attendance, but it's real iffy right now. Like, I'm not really sure what that means. It sounds like a fuckin', you know, something that, you know, somebody cool would say. What happened at your job? I asked him if he shit. I'm not quite sure.

Okay. Yeah. Well, I hope it gets. Yeah. So by the way, we haven't really discussed it, but you know, it's really crazy the way the United Healthcare shooter story has evolved and how a lot of the internet isn't just, you know, ideologically kind of siding with this guy, like the man that he murdered, you know, represented the healthcare industry, which is obviously, it's a horrific reality in this country

that healthcare is just, it's so set up seemingly to not take care of people. And people get denied coverage and they're spending so much money. It's a shit show, right? That stuff aside, saying let's just take out his reason all aside, the internet has flipped for this guy

as being a hottie. Have you done a dive on this? Not really, I don't want to. Well, I just wanted your opinion on his level of attractiveness. Oh, are we doing this now? Well, why not? I mean, it's the story, it's the big story.

I mean, look at those abs in that photo. Yeah, and I'm trying to think, has there been a hot killer like this in the past? And also a hot killer who people, it's interesting, because it's kind of doubled up. If he was objectively unattractive, he would still have people going, you know, cheering for him because of,

they hate the healthcare industry and they're like, this had to happen. But the fact that it happened and he's viewed as an attractive person, it just, everything kind of morphs and changes where they go, yeah, I side with you, also I like you even more because they find them attractive. The gays lost their mind for him.

Is that right? Oh yeah. Gay Twitter was on fire when they caught this guy and a Lot of women a lot of young women are just being like yeah this guy's he's it You know which has always been a thing killers always get the chicks. We know that sure now does he have an only fans? He doesn't I heard rumors, and I don't know this is true that he was Openly by oh even better that got people even more fired up.

Yeah, because that's, you know what, in the rock and roll world, that's what you want. You want guys and girls to want to bang you. It's that David Bowie thing. Does it say anything? Where did, okay. Oh, this is great about the internet. You just right away.

Yeah. One of the, McRib? Can you make that bigger? One of the related terms that comes up in Google when searching the name of the UHC shooter is, is Luigi Mangione bisexual? It might seem like a pretty strange thing to focus on, but obviously things went viral. 26 year old was arrested last week's been a wild seven days That he was he was killed in a premeditated pre-planned targeted attack outside an NYC hotel He was on his way to speak blah blah blah Where does it get to that part ex users in particular were positively tripping over each other to see who could post the horniest response to the photos

It was at its core an outlet for people's intense frustration about the US health care crisis as well as a distraction. Okay. I like his smile there. I have to admit. So, you know, this is one of the reasons. This is basically why he got caught. This is like, well, I'm sure there was other physical evidence that could have led to him being caught. He did have prints there, you know, the shell casings, footage elsewhere. But this was the first, he lowered his mask. It was reported to flirt with, like to smile at one of the,

like the sales lady at Starbucks or something. He was like, hey, or like at the hostel. So that's what gave, you know, the image of his face. So we're still not seeing why, where this came from the buy stuff. I don't know. This is still not it. A small but vocal minority of LGBTQ plus people started at that point to claim him as one of their own. Despite any evidence other than his love of artists beloved by

the queer community, at that point several users began to call Mangione gay and shared unconfirmed photos of his quote, boyfriends. However, the Luigi Mangione is bisexual rumor really took flight at 745 UK time when they discuss when the ex account which covers University of Pennsylvania campus culture treated breaking by Confirmed along with unverified screenshot of what it looked like a text message that read a friend of mine made out with him When he was a student for those curious he is by That's just somebody's tweet right and then it led to an immediate spike in Google searches. Anyway, I don't know if it goes on from there.

There's no evidence that he is bisexual. Yeah, I don't, do you read him as bisexual? Well, I don't, I mean, I don't have really much to read on other than like the case and like a mugshot. I don't really know. I know. I know that he was valedictorian of his extremely elite prep school.

I saw the clip of his- And those guys are bi? No, I'm saying I saw him speak briefly in that. Nothing in that would prompt that. The fact that he has great abs is pretty gay. Or just young. Cause like when you're young. The fact that you're young is gay.

Yeah. No, yeah, 26 it's easier to have a great physique, but I mean nothing about that obviously. Now, then there was a photo of him holding his dick. But when that came out, I was on set when that was like being passed around. And one of our directors was like, that's a Photoshop. Like he was like, here's the blur line or whatever

I don't know if that's true or not I would say I Saw a pose of him with like hand over like this. I was like, that's a gay pose It's a gay pose. If you see that pose you'd be like, I don't know that's straight. Like can you pull up his Nude photo and tell me if you think a straight guy does this pose because I think it's the only thing where I go That's kind of gay this one. Yeah that pose. Okay, there's a straight guy ever Would you guys ever pose like that? No, I feel like that's the gayest evidence I've ever seen And he's wearing those tighty-whity types and he's American. I think that's more of a...

It's this. ...gay body. Well, the pose and the tightness of the panties. Yeah. That leans more gay guy stuff. I also don't like how Bro kept the underwear on. That's kind of crazy. Yeah.

If you're going to do all that, just like... Oh, there's the big... That's what was considered the... I don't know if that's him. That's more hetero. That feels gay. It feels very gay. Cause even as a woman I'm like, yeah but I'm not,

meow. I don't know. Women don't, I don't want that. I'd like our gays and. Whoa, that was fucking. Gays and straights to weigh in. Is that pose gay? That arm behind the shoulder? It feels to me very gay. It's what's everybody writing? Does the booth agree or no?

It's super gay. Pretty gay. It's pretty gay. I would kind of wonder what women think about it. I think it's gay. Is he doing it for women? What are their thoughts? Yeah. No. Like if you asked a guy for a photo and he sent you that. No, can let me tell you something. The only thing I'm wondering though is if the fact that he's holding, cause it's always weird when you're holding a phone for like makeup pose.

So maybe that's making it weird, but I don't know. Right, no, that's a good point. Listen, but in today's world, you can put the phone, you can set the timer and you can go pose. You know what women like is in terms of naked bros. Can you listen to me? I'm trying to tell you something. Yes, yeah, you just, I was like, that's, okay, go ahead.

I've got violated. There might be one pose in the history of dick pic poses that is somewhat alluring to me as a woman. Yeah, which is. And that's the Burt Reynolds lying on his side. Because you knew that Burt was slaying and dick to women. Here's the thing, if you didn't know who Burt Reynolds was, that doesn't scream necessarily masculine.

That's a famous pose. Can we look at it? It's more masculine than, okay, the panties. I know, but I'm saying that it's a hardcore masculine guy, and you know that that's Burt Reynolds. But that pose itself is not. It could be hardcore gay too. Totally.

But hold on, the thing that makes that pose gay, standing in the doorway, is that his panties are halfway down. As if to say, hold on, as if to say, I'm gonna bend over and a guy's gonna fuck me from behind. That's what I read into that story. Yeah, there's the wider one if you scroll up. And he's laying on a bearskin rug

and he's got a cigarette and like. But see like, you know that's Burt, who was slanging dick into ladies forever. That's true. But if you were just like, this is some guy. Could be a gay guy. Could be a gay man, but this might be the only nude photo of a man that I'm like, that's tasteful. I like that Just men are not great

Nude and you don't even see his dong there, which is like thank God. Oh, you're really you know Unless it's the Lakers you want to see all those dogs running, but you don't want to see them like that Anyway, I think the panties down or under the knees. Yeah Is a submissive come fuck me in the ass. Yeah, and then this is this is totally that's feminine Yeah, it's a feminine pose. Well, here's the thing. I've always said this we tackle the real issues And I was dying to get your take on this.

Well, hold on. Let's go see the back. What kind of products does he have in his bathroom? Maybe those are clues to his level of heterosexuality. Could be. Gotta see if we could zoom in there. Could be. Straight guys don't wash their face, right?

There shouldn't be any facial wash. I don't know what all that stuff is no he's fucking Jack though yeah which like I you know it's point important to say also pretty gay pretty gay I think he's gay too yeah yeah oh well we cracked the case we cracked the case it's confirmed we did it we did the research yeah he did away there's another woman in the booth now yeah We cracked the case. We cracked the case. It's confirmed. We did it. We did the research. He did really. Oh wait, there's another woman in the booth now. Neon.

Neon is a woman. Is that a gay pose? Yes. Very gay. It feels like, right? Yeah. Is your take that he is gay or are you undecided? Yeah, I'd say he's pretty gay.

I'd say so. The pose, this alone, first of all, straight guys just send you their dicks, right? Like a straight guy, I don't know either, but from what I've heard, from what I've heard, when girls get sent dick pics, right, Neona? Isn't it just the dick? And you're like, thanks for this dick.

Guys don't have the wherewithal to pose, oh, that's a good angle. I look good here. Guys are not like that. Yeah. They're just not as straight guys, I mean. You know, we also have never had a- Hold on, I've cracked the case entirely.

Okay. Go back to all the photos. He's got curly hair. Yeah. Hold on, I cracked the case entirely. Okay. Go back to all the photos. He's got curly hair. Yeah. Hold on. See how he styled it and gelled it? Click on that. Well, that's got him got arrested.

That's his arrest photo. Doesn't matter. He looks really good. And you know how hard it is to manage curly hair like that? Josh Zollo knows. Josh Zollo's hair doesn't look as good as his arrest photo. Yeah Yeah it's a nightmare. But look how good he styles it. Look how... That's not style is my point. That's his natural style. Looks good but he still looks good. That's years of maintenance and proper product conditioners all that shit.

Yeah. And what does that tell you? Gay. Yeah. Damn that's a good show. Yeah. Alright sorry what were you gonna say my love? No it was just you know we're really... Yeah. Damn, that's a good show. Yeah. All right, sorry, what were you gonna say my love? No, it was just, you know, we're really. And he's gonna have this. Oh, also the fact that this is, here's another thing that's pretty gay. Ready?

He's very smart. Oh, super homos, yeah. They are the smartest. But I mean, when you have somebody who's really fit, really well-read, I mean, this valedictorian. He got, he went to an Ivy League, he went to University of Pennsylvania. He got, I think, a degree in mechanical engineering. Gay.

Yeah. I mean, these are some of the gayest things I've ever listed. So gay, yeah. Loves Britney Spears and the Sabrina fucking whatever, carpenter. Yeah. These are, I mean, these are just gay building blocks. So true and Happy Meals super gay too. He 3D printed his gun.

I mean that's a thought. Oh, he did? Yeah. Okay, so I was going to ask you, how did he learn to shoot if he's so gay? Hold on, because shooting is a straight guy activity. Pretty much. How did he learn to shoot then?

I don't know. Pew, pew, pew. Like that? Pew, shoot then? I don't know pew pew pew Like that pew pew pew pew pew pew pew. Yeah, these are just so many so now he's now the little gay details But then yeah, you throw in a yeah, like why are you shooting? I don't know. How are you? Yeah It's all very fascinating Anyway, it's so It's all very fascinating. Anyway. It's so, hot and evil. We will revisit this topic, obviously, as we learn more.

But looks really do help you in life across the board. Of course. My goodness. I think more people are sympathetic to this guy than would, a lot of people would be sympathetic because of the healthcare world, but it brings even more people over when they find the person attractive and hello I'm into murders now and also realizing how like oh we go look for the white the white blonde girl the most yeah like if it's a white blonde lady

who goes missing oh you better look out out. They're on the case. Anyone else? They're like a chubrinet. Forget about it. You finally watched American Nightmare. Buddy, I've watched the Madeleine McCann story. I'm back, I'm into John Benet Ramsey and I just finished American Nightmare. And?

American Nightmare, a lot of details I feel are not really present in the story. I don't mean spoiler alert for anybody that hasn't seen it. Can I tell you my true opinion or you want like... Tell me your true opinion, I'm trying another flavor. I think the FBI investigator who's dating Andrea, his ex-girlfriend, I think he ordered the hit, maybe he was jealous of the ex guy fucking his girlfriend, Andrea. And he ordered that creepy guy, Mueller, to go kidnap. You think an FBI guy?

Yes, because they, he was so quick to be like, no, no, no, no, no, those two did it. Those two did it. Remember he like steered the investigation away from even looking for potential suspects? So I think there's something there that the FBI guy is corrupt and they didn't even investigate him or anybody. I don't know about that. I mean, it's an interesting,

what I really thought was the real lesson here is there are tells in behavior that we all register as normal. Normal is a term that people think of as relative, but the reality is there are objective normals. So like, in other words, something horrible happens to a family member. There's a normal way that people react.

But when they pull, when you watch this doc, and we are spoiling it if you wanna skip ahead, but the first episode focuses on the boyfriend at the time, the way he is in the interrogation room is so peculiar. It's so outside of the range of normal behavior for an interrogation that you're like, this is not, something's up with this dude, right? And it ends and then episode two focuses on the woman

that was kidnapped and her behavior in the interrogation is also outside of the norm, normal behavior, which again you go, oh, now we're gonna get to how this is like what really happened and to learn that they were actually telling the truth and that their behavior was in fact genuine was to me the biggest surprise of the entire story. The way that they behaved in their interrogations after going through something traumatic was so outside of the realm and the spectrum of

normal behavior that I couldn't believe I was like I would have bet I mean I know obviously when you make documentary you you can produce moments but you're not producing the moment of them answering the questions in the interrogation room he's like yeah came in put goggles on us and then was like drink this and then they get you're're like, there's no panic. Agreed. I agree. So strange.

He's calm and he's collected. And I think that might be because in his interview, he says, I trusted the police. I went to them looking for help. So imagine if you assume that you're being assisted. But then the interrogator already has it in his mind that this is guilty. Well, he has that in his mind

because that is how police investigators are trained. They're trained to go into a crime like that. And if there's somebody there who is present, that is close to the person that is missing, 99% of the time it's the the boyfriend they have to do that, but They really let those people down especially when they know they're like fucking burn that bitch to the ground I know so why would but I'm saying why would that police department not look for ended up having to pay them Quite a sum of money for being shitty, but it's a fascinating story, and we just ruin it for everybody, but

some money for being shitty, but it's a fascinating story. And we just ruin it for everybody, but. Well. Just fast forward to our conversation. All right, let's take a quick break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll be right back, and once again, Merry Christmas. Ready in five, four, ready in five. Thank you.

Four, three, two. And we are back, and joining us is a comedian whose latest special, The Last Cowboy in LA is available now on YouTube. You can get tickets at jeffdye.com. It's Jeff Dye everybody. Hey, Jeff Dye. What's up you guys? Thanks for having me.

Welcome to Texas. Love what you've done with the place. Thank you, congratulations on the special. Thank you very much. Where'd you shoot? In Nashville at a place called The Electric Jane. That's awesome. Which is like a music venue.

Nashville's a great comedy town. It was awesome, yeah. I don't know a lot about Nashville, and every time I go there, I kind of have a different experience, and I'm like, I like this place. Every time. People always have it as the sister city to this city.

Oh really? Yeah, I think there's some similarities to it, but yeah. It's a big city, but it's got that country thing. Got a country feel to it. Accessible city. There's more people there than the city is built for got that country thing. It's got a country feel to it. Accessible city. There's more people there than the city is built for. Just like Austin. It's like, it's cool.

Yeah, it's growing. If you have a cool town, we will ruin it. We will all move there and ruin it. A lot of bachelorettes, they have that thing where you ride on the golf, the cart, and you guys get to get drunk as you pedal. Yeah, that's good here too. I would hate to start the podcast on a negative note, but I don't hate anything more than that.

You'll see it here. It's popular here. I hate it so much. So much. Because also, if you want to drink and have fun, just go do it. I know. Why do you have, why do we have to be part of it? Ah, like in the streets. Yeah, like why is a guy working after you shouting fallout boy and like,

they're like, the like working like why did The bar come to me out here. It is a bummer and I always every time I'm I'm dead Because you always see it downtown when you see that I always think about a truck hitting them. I would love that Yeah, I know it sounds terrible, but I hate it so much. Yeah Well, I just don't like the idea of getting drunk and exercising at the same time What's hard you could you don't even have to pedal if that's the big coup about it Is there not even really part of the system? Yeah, there's really the person there's like a main guy who's in charge. Yeah, he's the one that's the whole thing

He's got gray legs. Yeah, those other people peddling. It's like paying taxes like they're doing a lot of work, but it ain't going It's like paying taxes like they're doing a lot of work, but it ain't going People that get drunk and play tennis like my dad I mean yeah for years sounds like he's having a good time I'm doing that, but how do I don't that's the last thing I want to do when I'm drinking I don't want to drink and do any Ridiculous right no I want to sit down saw the greatest thing ever with one of those pedal carts in Detroit One of the black Israelites were out on a Saturday. You know these these guys. If you don't know what they are, look them up. They just yell at people. They're just trying to invoke any sort of thing. They usually stand at a corner and they just like preach.

But it was Detroit, so it's really cold. So they're wearing their Muslim garb, but then he had like a Detroit Lion's starter jacket like over it because it's cold. But they're like, you white devil bitch, like just yelling at people, right? And I'm just kind of got my headphones in and kind of like, I'm scared if I'm honest. And I'm waiting to cross the light or the street. But then coming down the same street is one of these pedal carts, full of just bachelorettes singing,

you know, singing to music. And I was like, wait, they might have to be on the same street. Yeah. So I waited through my walk sign to just see if those two worlds would collide. Collide, yeah. And it did. And I thought it would be this masterpiece of whatever, but instead just both groups

were uncomfortable and didn't know what to do. So they both just silently stopped their bullshit. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of it. It is such a thing too, because I would have done the same the same thing like I'm gonna stand here and look like I'm doing I was amazing watch this. I I was I had to wait like a few minutes to us. Okay, they're coming Yeah, I'm not gonna check something on my phone. Yeah, exactly My favorite is when Tom does drunk girl

They're the same everywhere same everywhere a drunk girl in girl in her 20s is the same in every city. Oh for sure. I'm terrified of drunk women now. Sadist lie. Sadist lie, and they always have the dress with the cowboy boots, which is adorable. It's a look I've never been able to pull off, but I like seeing it in the South.

You're like, this is adorable. You'd be lucky if she talked to you. Like they're always defending their ugly friends. Oh yeah, for sure. We've gotta go. You're like, no, she's talking to me. What do you mean you have to go? There they're always defending their ugly friends. Oh yeah, for sure. We've gotta go. You're like, no, she's talking to me. What do you mean you have to go? There it is, there's the look.

It looks great, I think it looks. Seriously? What do you mean you've never pulled off this look? A southern girl can, no, I'm too LA vibes. That is a very. But I like it on other people. I mean, that's an Austin look and a national look. Yeah, it's adorable.

For sure. I like it. It's always the white boots. You see it a lot obviously on game day here, like when UT is playing. You just see 80,000 chicks like this. It seems like women copy these looks. Like, what is the playbook? Do you guys go, is it a celebrity or is it just a thing you see and you go, I want to dress like this?

It's usually, it could be celebrity based. Okay, a lot of people do we want She's just awful though, it's awful because It's because she's drunk. Yeah, she's drunk and then she's just like mean. Yeah, she's entitled I like that. She thinks she's a rugged individualist. She's like, what's up? I've got a watch. Yeah, she's just mean. And entitled. But I like that she thinks she's a rugged individualist. She's like, what's up, I don't know why I fuck out, what's up, tonight's our night, girls, woo! Yeah, yeah, do it, do it. Well, they always, I swear, like,

you can be passing by, like, minding your own business. And that girl has like the, somehow goes like, fuck, are you looking at? And you're like, yeah, they'll reject you from like six feet. Yeah, you're like, I'm not talking to you. I'm not looking at you. Well, you should be looking at us. Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna be looking at you if we did talk to you. And you're like, fuck are you talking about? What is happening? And then you notice her like 230 pound friend. And you're like, ugh. And then they're like, what was that? Yeah, yeah. Like, I just saw the fucking starting linebacker

for the horns here. God. They're just so entitled. And it's so embarrassing, because I was a 20-year-old girl, obviously a million years ago, and I had a friend like that. Yeah, every girl does.

That was the instigator of like, Yeah, the instigator, that's right. Yeah, why do they think they're so tough? It's not, it's booze, babe. It's just like, booze. But it's still, it's booze riddled with insecurity. Which is like what usually fuels a booze-like binge, is like you're insecure and you do it for a different reason.

But I get sad when I'm drunk and insecure. I don't get overly confident. This is what you see is like booze affects people, right? I've never been a confrontational drunk. Me neither. It's just not, but that's just why. It's not in me. I had a friend in high school, college who like super cool guy, and then you get a few, and he would come and headbutt you.

Oh my god. Fuck man. But then what happens is you're like, yeah I don't want to be around you. Yeah, it's not fun. In this situation, you know? Like I was, I'm like a nice drunk. I was with a bunch of comics at a nice dinner recently, and they were describing one of their celebrity friends that I was like, I'd love to meet that guy.

I'm not gonna say his name just because it's not my story to tell. But they were like, oh, he's real fun till he's not. And they go, what does that mean? They go, he's the best, the best, the best, and then at a certain point with the drugs and drinking, like it's just a nightmare. And I was like, oh, that sounds not as exciting as I'd hoped. I don't want that in my life. You know what though Tom

You are the best drunk like you don't get drunk very often, but you're you're a party You're still a party and I I always remember the story or please tell the story You've set up before the podcast but do it again. I hear when you were younger. It was at the Saddle Ranch You said it before the podcast, but do it again. I hear when you were younger, it was at the saddle ranch or the tell the story. It's already a good setting. It's one of my favorite. Saddle ranch.

I was an intern at Copelson Entertainment. What is it for the record? Like a management or like an agency? Copelson was a production company that they made the fugitive, you know, the Harrison Ford movie. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Murder at 1600, Arnold Copelson, so a big time producer. And because I was like, I'm going to LA

and I want to make movies. So I started interning there and I ended up doing script coverage and I moved on to do more coverage for other producers, but when I was interning there, some of the assistants, so I'm like unpaid intern. And the assistants are like, do you want to come out with us tonight? And I was like, sure. And I'm, and the assistants are like you want to come out with us tonight? and I was like sure and

I'm you know, I know I want to be performing So I think I I don't even know if I had done stand-up if I had done stand-up I've done it like once And we go out and like what Adrian 21. Okay, so um Start at one bar and I have a few and I just just keep drinking Yeah, you know to the point where I, I mean I definitely black out so I only remember bits of people but it was retold to me that we made it to, was it Saddle Ranch or was it Miyagi's?

Miyagi's next door, I don't remember that place. Sunset Boulevard, like bar, whatever, sushi, bad sushi, you know it's like a party place. Terrible. For the bar, yeah. So, now this is like our second or third location and I am completely shit-faced. And I am holding court, I'm telling the story.

With work. Yeah. And there's like, and we're all standing in the circle and there's like six assistants from work. And I'm just like, telling this story. And then I only learned this later because I don't recall it much, but they told me that they're like, you're telling this story. And then I only learned this later, because I don't recall it much, but they told me that you're telling this story, and people are laughing, but they're also looking at you

because you're so clearly completely fucked up. And then you just start throwing up. Mid-story. Mid-story. Yeah, dude, that rules. You puke everywhere. You know, like, post-puke, you spit. Yeah, so you're like, and you know like post puke you spit you're like it's like they're like you're spitting you're like you stand up and

you just go right back and that's the best they're all like and I the only reason I like blacked out when I got home and I had a friend who I was living with at the time who he was like yeah you were fucking that's the king of storytelling though. Like you're the story telling guy Storytelling Just BWAH and then like where was I? It's amazing But I remember that I got into like he told me he was like you were fucking and I still was like, eh And then I get into work on Monday and all of them were like

Changed your rep. Yeah. Oh, yeah, them were like, changed your rep. Yeah, oh yeah, they were like, this guy, you're a fucking mess, dude. Like, just puking in front of people. It's cool though. Yeah, I mean. Especially at 21. At 21.

You're not 55. No, that's a different story. No, but the fact that he committed to finishing the bit. I love that, yeah, that's great. You were meant to be a stand-up comedian, you committed to the bit, and I respect that. And I wish I knew the story you were telling. Like, what could have been...

That I don't know. I'm sure... Oh, any story could have been that good. When you're in it. You know? And you don't lose focus, too. You're like... Hold on. Like I was saying. Yeah. It's like, come around the corner. And you're like, uh-huh. And it could make you a legend at a workplace, too, though.

Like, dude. They carried me to... They carried me home. They carried me home. Charlie and Jack carried me back to my place. And then in the morning, I had no clothes. And there was a towel on the ground, because I had also puked when I got back to the place. You left your clothes. I don't fucking know. They took it off of me? I don't know.

I don't know if this is interesting or not, but like I'm always fascinated when people are surprised When people get drunk Like I said like like I said, I don't know if this is interesting But like so many times we go to a bar in San Diego me my buddy Josh Nelson great comedian And we would just get hammered the bartenders were our friends. They would get us hammered We would flirt with them. Obviously it's never gonna happen. we'd try to do whatever, we'd look at girls too young for us and then we would go home. And then the next day we'd get lunch at the same bar

and they'd be like, you guys were drunk last night. You're like, yeah, you got us drunk. Yeah, we were at a bar. What are you talking about? And I go, did I do anything embarrassing? They go, no. I go, did I like try to fight someone or get on the bar or puke?

They go, no. I go, then why are you telling me that I was drunk last night like it's right to hold something just to shame you yeah or like streakers will run on a baseball field and they'd be like that fucking drunk guy you're like yeah dude you've been selling him $30 Bud lights all night like yeah like he's gonna do drunk guy shit and also it's awesome and it's fun and it's funny it's okay shaming people about it yeah it makes no sense to me. I know, someone shamed me on our vacation,

I'm not gonna say who, because I had day drank. Oh, we want names, this is a podcast. I'll tell you guys later. And I was day drunk and I was so drunk that I was like, I gotta take a nap babe. And I left you with the kids. But it's great. It was on Thanksgiving.

Yeah. I was like, I gotta go. And then somebody in our group was like, well mom, got a little drunk, huh? And I was like yeah, bitch. Yeah, I've had cancer this year. Yeah, I get to drink it. Yeah You can also do whatever the fuck you want. I mean, it's not a crime to get hammered on your vacation Well, so anytime it's not a crime to get hammered at all I mean when you drive you can get a little bit of trouble, but

But the point is if you do it in a pool or something everybody who drinks has had at least 10 incidents in their life where they were like, I should have gotten a DUI. Yeah, you reflect the next day going, oh boy. I've had two that are so traumatizing that it, it mean like, you need them. If you don't get one, you need the incidents

to scare the fuck out of you one time Where I was uh in LA and I got pulled over on Sunset I'd been drinking my buddies in the passenger seat and I was like I just go what do I do it? He just goes I don't know because he knows we've been drinking. Yeah, he knows the deal Yeah, and the guy comes up and he's like you're driving kind of erratically. It's a rental Oh that makes sense. Cause that part was true. I was like, I don't even know how it all works.

It is a PT Cruiser, maybe that's why it's. And he was like, you know, license and I was, you know, your heart rate is just, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And then it's like a movie. A fucking call comes out and he's like, da, da, da, da. And he goes, it's your lucky day. I gotta go It is your like I just got we got out of the car. Yeah, like let's just fucking yes Yeah, yeah, that's so traumatizing and then another time where I was

Annihilated yeah, like fully fucking to be driving erratic is is you know, which I was doing says because I really was doing because I He was right. It was a rental and I was like, this is fun. I don't like that. I can with the gears. Yeah, and But the one time I was in college and I had years drank a bunch and then smoked and I was so I was like blasted Oh, yeah And I insist in getting in my car and driving back to my place and as I pulled onto like this main street to go to my place. And as I pulled onto like this main street to go to my place, cop comes and what he does is he rides my blind spot for probably, you know, I don't know, half a mile. But when you're that fucked up, it feels like 10 miles.

And you're just all in the mirror, just kind of. And you're just like, all I was doing was like, I go, the speed was like 35 and like stay in the lines. And I was just like, you just turn your brain on to focus so hard. And I was like, don't fucking do anything. Like just stay in these lines, stay going 35, stay. And like, I was just waiting and then he just broke off. But it was like, it was clearly, it was one of those where I was like,

I pulled over, I was like, my God. Like it was, you see your life, like, cuz if that one, he wouldn't have been Like it's a lucky day. He'd be like we didn't call extra units over here. What is this guy? Yeah, this guy's fucking um a funny drinking thing I think of with you is You know when you do college gigs the kit for whatever reason I don't know why this was a thing Maybe it's not anymore, but there was a thing where they're like alright. It's gonna be this amount of money Yeah, you're gonna get picked up at this time, do

60 minutes, and then the students wanna take you out to dinner. And for whatever reason you're like, why is this part of it? And they're all younger than me and stuff. And then sometimes I say, I don't wanna do the dinner or whatever, but then I'm so lonely and I'm in whatever town that they'll be like, we're gonna go to a bar if you want it, but you know it's a college bar and you're still like, I don't know. And I was also like, last time I did colleges was like 10 years ago, but I remember one time

they were like, Tom Seguirre came with us once and he drank with us. And I remember being like, you sure? And I felt like I should do it. I was like, well if Tom did it, he's a better comic than me if he's drinking with these fucking young kids. He had so much fun with us. Like, no he didn't. It was in Colorado somewhere.

Oh, I know where that was. Really? Was that the school of mining? Yeah, Golden, the town of Golden. That was in the school of mining. I remember doing that. You know what the craziest thing was at that show? I remember that it was Obama was either president or being elected. That's how long ago that was.

And the reason I'll never forget, first of all, they had me perform in the cafeteria. Yeah, I did this exact show. So it's in the cafeteria. Outside of Lance Armstrong and I'm at you. Why is it always in the cafeteria? They don't have anywhere else. They don't. So there's like, let's say 200 people in there.

And I'm getting into like, I have, you know, a bit about, I just can't remember whether it's he's being, he's running or he's elected, something in that joke. It's my Obama bit. And I go, and I say something like, what do you think? And some guy goes, oh, he's a N word. Oh my God. And I just go, what?

Like, what did you say? And then he repeats it. And I look around the room and everyone's like, so what's your bit? Like, do you have a, and I'm like, I'm like, this is insane. Cory told you, like do your bit, you know? Is your bit similar to that?

And I'm like, no. That's wild. It was wild. And I just kind of, and I just went back to, and I walked off and I remember, I don't forget who I had with me But I was like, did you and they were like, yeah, that was that happened to me, too I think you took my story and just made it yours That happened in Shreveport, Louisiana

It was to it's another place that that could happen. Yeah. Yeah. It's at the old funny bone It doesn't exist anymore and it was the same year Obama was getting elected and I know bomb a bit It's interesting how parallel our stories are like you choke, I choke. I had a story that goes, no N-word story, but at the School of Mines in Colorado, I was doing like my liberal bullshit. I'm from Seattle, you know, pretty liberal guy, not by today's standards. And I was doing some bit about like, that was like an anti-oil bit because I was like you know like if we have a problem with oil and gas you know

the Bush administration is always talking about that like then let's cancel NASCAR like they're wasting yeah just going in circles yeah and I'm I was doing well until this bit and then they all just got weird on me like crying I was like yeah and then afterwards they're like oh you know why this is like a big oil place yeah that's yeah people work at school of minds I don't know why I didn't think of that yes and I did my dumb liberal anti-oil bit and then we're gonna shift gears on how we like you exactly it happened right away so fast but I got him back with some you know frivolous cats and Mario

Brothers bullshit I just went back to the classics. But you know, in my mind since that time that someone screamed out the N-word too when I brought up my Obama bit, I cannot think of a good comeback for that. And I've been thinking about it for 20 years. A good comeback? You don't have a good comeback? Yeah, I go, hey guys, we're gonna have Obama as a president. N-word! Fuck should I?

What's a good co- Well you just shamed them. That's the one I'm talking about. The one running for president. Yeah, same guy. Same guy. You got it. Or I would just shame them. I'd be like, Jesus Christ, what is my Uncle Al here?

You know, like play it, like just playfully shame them as like that's not how we speak. Or double down and agree with them. Like say, yeah, that's the guy. That's the guy. Why are you interrupting? You know who I'm talking about. The craziest thing to me when this happened was A, there's the nerve, right? But the fact that the whole room was like...

Same as Shreveport. Well, this isn't a popular take. I'm risking something to say this. I think a lot of that kind of thing is this, aren't I being naughty? Yeah, yeah. Sure. Like, they don't really... I mean, some people really do think that, obviously. Yeah.

But I'm saying, like, I think a lot of times it's very, like, aren't I... I'm being a shock... shocking guy. Sure. I mean, there's a lot of comedians that live in that world of, like, what's taboo? I'll say it. Right. Right. Now, if it's... Howard Stern made a whole career off of it.

If you're... if you say the thing, but it's also a good joke, correct Then it's like that's the double right, but if you're just like here's something that I shouldn't say and I'll say it Yeah, then you're just what I did it when I was a kid Well, sure myth I used to like because you know, I grew up in like this white bread area of Washington That's like south of Seattle. Yeah, and me and all my friends we'd play video games were smelly little boys You know, it's very classic kind of whatever. We had like two black kids at our school.

Yeah. And I remember like the bad kids, the rebellious, the naughty kids, they got to get in, like they would get in fights, or they would steal, or they would blow up mailboxes, or they would do these things. Well, that all has risks. Yeah.

You know, like you can get arrested, or you can get suspended, or in trouble, or you can get arrested or you can get suspended or in trouble or you can get in a fight hurts. Whereas like if I just said the N-word while we're playing video games everyone would be like, Jeff is nuts! Yeah, yeah. And so I learned like, oh, you're just saying a forbidden word. We have a shirt for you. What's that? We should show them merch.

What merch? We played at the top of the show. The opening clip guy. Oh, oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah, what is the thing? This is it. Yeah, this is a real thing here. Hey everyone James nigga. My are here Oh, wow people been hit me up a fisherman inappropriate and texting me. Where's the merch? Patience everyone higher process finally got it sourced out to DeVilleOriginals.com. I'll post that information in the link below,

but here it is. I can't wait. James Nigermeyer Merch. Oh my God. They are live on the website. Now the question is, does it fall into the same category that we're discussing, which I think it does.

The person who really buys this isn't like, God, this is my favorite fisherman. Yes, they think it's naughty and hilarious. Yeah. It's fun to be naughty. It's fun to be... And in this instance, you get away with it. Yes.

Somebody goes, what the fuck? You go, this is a fucking fisherman. 100%. Well, like my favorite way to phrase it is Beth Stelling. And like when we'll talk about like, it's sometimes fun, and I'm very guilty of it in my act all the time, to be a little piggy in the mud. It's fun to be naughty and that's all it is. That's what every comedian loves.

There's no hatred in our hearts. It's just kind of fun to be the mischievous. Or there's a college football player named Noah Kaniga. Yep. Can you pull him up? This one's not even spelled too aggressive that fisherman Yeah, like it's not spelled that aggressive what we're about to see is spelled pretty aggressive, and it's his name Yeah, this is a linebacker. Yeah, it's in the K is not silent. It is it's oh no

It's not silent for sure. It's um yeah He's gotten famous just because of his name, but he's also pretty good, I think. Yeah. You think you'd change that last name? There he is. And it's like, you need a linebacker? When also, you got a Noah is kind of good, too.

Well, yeah, I think the recruiting thing was like, we need a linebacker. I think a Noah. Right. It's perfect. Yeah. And that has no K for that like yeah, I love it Yeah

Yeah, you know that What is it called like the broadcasters are always like whoa? Oh, dude. I wouldn't do it Yeah, there's a guy named look up Seattle Mariners Mitch Han H a n H a n and The rest will come up. And when I cheer for him in Seattle, I call him Mitch H.

And sometimes people will look back because I'm going, come on Mitch H. And they'll turn around and I'll go, well I'm not gonna say his whole name and I'll get a little laugh from the person. Like, oh, I see what you did there. There was a, I remember because I always followed FSU football, that they had a wide receiver named Dakota Fag.

And there's just no way around that. There's no way around that. They would just be like, the guys calling the game would be like, you know, first down by fag. What do you do? Yeah, you gotta do it. Also, is he straight or gay? This guy. Because it would be great if he was also gay. What a treat. There he is.

You know what I mean? There he is. There's Dakota Fagg. Oh yeah, he looks pretty straight actually. If I had to profile, I think that's a straight guy. There's no, there is no doubt that what fueled this guy to be a Division I football player was being called a fag his entire life. This is the pro athlete version of Boy Named Sue for sure.

Also, at this point, don't you think if you're in this family, you're like, I think we can petition to do the name change. Yeah, for sure. Or you're like, no, we're devoted fags. It's so easy. We love our back. Come on. You go to the social security office and you apply for a name change.

It's really not that hard. For my podcast We basically play a game where it's like how much we just ask you a thing and then we crowdsource The money so you actually have to do whatever the thing is you said you'll do yeah And we were like one of them was how much to change your name for a year Yeah, and so like to change my name to Jeff farts for a whole year, and I've got to commit to it I've got to commit to it. I've got to like all everywhere you go. Yeah. We put a caveat for like comedy because you spend so long building your brand as far as like tour posters and stuff. Sure. So you

can whatever but for your everyday life your mail your ID. I'm Jeff Farts. I'd do it for five grand. Five grand. That's it? And I think it's kind of funny also. It's very funny. So hold on so if you go to a restaurant you put your name down for a table it's kind of funny also just very funny so hold on so if you go to a restaurant you put your name down for A table it's Jeff Fart which is kind of fun. That one is a good example They'll never believe you if you see you'd have to do like a ph a r t or something You know or if they like it's f a r t s. It's like what well if they don't believe me I could just show my ID your ideal like gosh. It's you know. It's my real name I'm not trying to be silly a table for farts is ready. Yeah, it's my real name. I'm not trying to be silly here. Table for Farts is ready.

Yeah. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. See, I think this guy's name fuels either, if you're an athlete, you become a high level athlete, or this would be the perfect fuel to make a comedian. Yes.

Somebody who's just ridiculed. Yes. You know, if he was non-athletic? 100%. Or what about you just do your Starbucks name for a year as Farts? Yeah, that'd be fine. I mean, I always do a fake name as Starbucks anyway.

Sainsies. I do, I always do a fake name at Starbucks anyway. Sainsies. I do, but it's not for humor. I just can't believe they're gonna take any name I tell them. What names have you gone with? I usually do Mortal Kombat names, but like the most preposterous ones I can think of like Cyrax, you know? And they'll be like, Cyrax?

I was like, yeah. And they're like, they don't push back much. They just write it on the cup. They never spell it right, because they don't spell Christina correctly. I can't imagine Cyra in their defense. They're doing a lot of I've been a barista at Starbucks summer of 97 and I just spelled the fuck out of some names, okay And yeah, they're gonna fence. They are you know I've done it teenagers who hate their jobs um Wait just a second ago. You, that makes a good comedian.

Yeah. This kind of thing. You're a therapy person. What, have you guys kind of gotten to the thing that makes you believe why you're a comedian? I mean, I've definitely thought about it. I think the most simple, broad thing for me is, well, two things.

One, I think moving a lot as a kid plays a role in the fact that you're just always new and wanting to be accepted by a new group. So yeah, that's how you get friends by making, by just being human. So that was a huge, I moved, I went to like eight or nine different schools. That's a lot. So that's a lot of being new. And I think I have a good bit of like middle child syndrome of where you just are kind of Ignored because you have like feeling your first kid who's like, you know taking like all the attention and then your baby Yeah, and so like they're just like well, we're glad that you don't need anything You know, so like I think those things play into the psyche of like how you become a comedian

Yes, you're full of hate and anger full of rage too. Well that helps for comedy. Yeah. It's a great one. What about you, Jeb Dye? I'm just, it's very simple, short and sweet. Like my parents just were like, I was not like a victim of abuse, but we were like victims, me and my sisters, of neglect.

And neglect makes you go, like, you know, I'll get in trouble, I'll draw something, look what I drew, you know, like that family guy thing where he's like, mom, mom, mom. That's a version of like middle kid, right? You just feel, you feel lost. We just, look what I drew. I'm, you know, like that family guy thing where he's like, mom, mom, mom. Well, that's a version of like middle kid, right? You just feel, you feel lost. We just, they're never around. And when they were around, they weren't around.

So it was just like constantly needing validation, which is a comic. Were they just overworking? Why were they not around emotionally? Were they alcoholics or? No, I've never been able to really, no people are like my parents. I've never been able to really know people are like my parents. I've never met any people like my parents.

Were they Mormon? Now what I'm about to tell you, you won't believe. Okay. They have no friends. They have no hobbies. They have no favorite movies. They don't have a favorite food. There's no interests. They don't connect with anyone else in the family. They're just these two people that work. And then when they get done with work, they just sit up. They don't want to be parents. They don't want to be married, I don't think. They don't want to cheat. They don't. There's no interests. So the reason I want to do everything and I want everyone to be my friend and I need so much

is because they did nothing. I want to do everything. They don't even like each other, you're saying. Barely. So they're uninspiring people. They don't want to do anything. Really? I'll go, want to watch the show? And they'll say, yeah, put it on.

I'll put a show on. I'll look over. And they're getting up and then go into their room, napping. I think this is my least thing. I had a good relationship with my father. And one thing that always made me crazy is I'd be like, I know you like this topic So like check this out and I'd put on like a movie. Yes show About something that I know interests him and I'd be like, what do you think? He'd be like, what's that?

Are you watching this? I just showed you this for you No, I already know this. I'm like, no you don't. You don't know this. And he's like, I gave him a book one time. And I was like, this book is like exactly what we were discussing and it's excellent. Aliens. And then he would be like, oh thanks buddy.

And then the next day I was like, you're reading it. But he goes, yeah, I finished it. I go, it was 600 pages. And he goes, well, I knew most of it. So would you just kind of like skim through it? He's like yeah, yeah interesting like It makes me crazy. It drives me nuts. I'm actually the worst This is like whoever my future partner will end up being is gonna be So annoyed with how much I need someone to see what I'm seeing or watch what I'm watching like I mean

I need someone to see what I'm seeing or watch what I'm watching. Like I'm in Cape, I'm the best consumer, because if you like gave me a product and I liked it, I wouldn't shut the fuck up about it. Right. I'm the best for like, you know, everything I have. I got to share and tell and yeah, but you know, I'll show my buddy like a movie or something or like a YouTube clip. And if I look over and they're texting or like look at like I go crazy. Like I'm like, dude, I'm showing you something. I'm showing you yes. I want you to... also makes me crazy when somebody goes this is

really funny and they send it to me. Oh no it's not. This made you laugh? Oh no yeah that would drive me crazy. Stop being my friend. But you're honest I think that's the good part of that. You know what Jeff I'm the opposite with Tom whenever I'm really into a show or something I want to hide it and conceal it from him because I- Is this real? Yes. Okay. Because I fear his mockery and derision.

He hates every, like, he'll be like, what the fuck, gay shit are you watching now? Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's a fucking- That's not accurate. It's an 18th century period piece. Can I tell you something? A lot of this is in your head.

You think so? I don't think so, I know so. You've said it before. You're like, what the't think so I know you've said it before you're like I'm gonna give him an example of something here's my point. Jeff died if you say Your honor, let's go through my Netflix history. If you say something once for her she goes that is that's an always thing Like no, I said something one time. What was the one thing he said that he hated that was on Netflix she was watching What do you watch like some girls, like girls like shows that men don't like? She loves period pieces.

And it's tough for us to understand. But Jeff, I understand that some of it sucks. For instance, I love Bridgerton. I'm aware how gay that is and how much it sucks. I'm aware. And I let him know, hey, I'm watching something stupid. Don't shame me for this right now. I'm enjoying something stupid. Right. I love that she finds a show that she loves because I think it's a great feeling

when you find, but sometimes he'll like my dumb girl stuff. She got me into Downton Abbey and I think that's one of the best. It's a period piece. It's one I never saw it. It looks like some gay shit. Here's the thing. It does. It is phenomenal. Yeah. It'll make you want to book writing is top tier. The acting's incredible. I'm out there. It's excellent. It'll make you want to butt-fuck. The writing is top tier, the acting is incredible. I'm out then. It's great. It's really good.

Well, me and Burt were talking about this recently, like on his thing, was like, I am pretty easy to convince too. I'm like, I'm not watching this shit, and then you just go, just watch like an episode, and then I'm like, alright, I'm in. That one's fantastic. And then I'll watch the whole thing. That one's fantastic. Pretty, I'm like, I'm a judge at it first, and then I'm an easy sell out. And you probably, look, if I sat down and watched it, I don't know if I'd like it,

but if it's good, if it's quality, like the thing about television and movies is there can be genres that you're drawn to and ones that you're not, but if something actually is great, it's the same with sports, right? There's sports that I'm like, yeah, I'm not really into this. If you show me, I don't know, a World Cup game, the drama, the stakes, the best players, I'm like, yeah, I'm not really into this. If you show me, I don't know, a World Cup game, the drama, the stakes, the best players, I'm like, oh, I'm into this. Because it's the highest level. So yeah, it's just, you know.

Yeah, that's true. You still hate my music, I think. I don't hate your music either. Really? I thought you hate goth music. No, I mean like music, what is that? Bow house. What is goth music?

Bow house. It's really incredible. I've never heard of any of this. I've never met somebody quite like her too. Sus is goth music? Bow House. It's really incredible. I've never heard of any of this. I've never met somebody quite like her too. Susie and the Banshees. People have a favorite band sometimes, and you're like, okay.

I just learned about a genre of music. I didn't even know goth. I thought goth was like some teenagers I picked on in school. It's so funny to me how devoted she is. It's kind of amusing because, like I, like I like some different genres of music. I don't think I have a favorite, like one group, but like, you know, I'll listen to different things. With her, she's like, oh, I love Bauhaus, right?

Yeah, I've never heard of that either. I can't tell you how many times I walk by her closet and I just hear her go hey Siri or hey Alexa whatever play Bauhaus it's like hundreds of times I'm like god damn you really want to hear this every day is that a band or is it a it's a genre oh Bauhaus is the band that's interesting after Tom says he never you told Siri to play it oh that's not Bauhaus that is not fucking bow house. It's not mine Yeah, Tom, it's yours cuz you said hey

Sure and came on yeah, that's definitely not bow house. What's the song name? Maybe is that no nothing close stop the rain all right I'll tell you this I like it sure stop.an. Stop. I like Ed Sheeran. But do you see how he criticized my band just now? After he was like, oh I don't criticize anything. And that's like my favorite thing. Well I don't think he said he doesn't criticize anything. He's not even listening to us. I am, I'm just seeing what the hell happened. What happened was it brought up the gay-ass shit you were listening to on the way in. I do feel like women watch and like things that are...

And it always is a great balance when a man likes sports. Do you like sports? Yeah. Endless sports. Because then you go, see how you don't like this and I'm really into this? I get that that's what your shit is. That's what I'm saying is that her being really into a show, I go, that's great. Yeah, 100%. For her, football, she's like, is it still on? I'm like, yes, it's the fucking second quarter.

Four hours. Yeah, they're long. And then the ESPN show. Shorter than Marvel movies, I'll tell you that. What happens on the show? And then I gotta talk about the guys, the old retired fat athletes sit around the table, and then they talk about the shit they just saw.

Well, no, my favorite's the press conference where the dejected sad Coach is like we should have tried harder. I know we didn't try as hard as we should have tried We're gonna do this Because I've never heard it through this guy and it actually is very funny The funniest one is like, you know the the shows where they recap games She's like, are they talking about the game you just watched and I'm like, you know, the shows where they recap games. She's like, are they talking about the game you just watched? And I'm like, yeah.

And it's just like five guys who are like, they should have held on to the ball. And they laugh at their dumb. I was like, until you pointed that out, I just thought this was totally normal. It is normal to us. Yeah. I was like, no, it's super lame. But what is it you guys like reliving what you like reliving the highlights, the moments. You cared about the game right so you have to have an emotional investment some to otherwise why are you if you don't give a shit. It also

reminds me what happened. Yeah it reminds you what happened. It sounds really lazy but I'm like oh yeah that happened in the first quarter. There's a lot going on it's a four hour game. And then if you lost you're like how why did we fucking lose and then these guys are talking about why I like to believe that they know more Than us like oh sure played for the Steelers in the 70s sure Have a better idea of what happened also Tom might not admit this I don't know if I really will admit it, but I think maybe Some people like to then regurgitate what those old athletes said Later like the next day at work.

Like, you know. It becomes your point of view. Right. Because I agree with that, I will now absorb that, and then I will say that like I thought I would. Yeah, yeah. Because I don't know a lot about sports as much as I love sports.

My heart for sports is bigger than my brain for sports. So, but why the game of- If you can't convert third downs, I mean, how are we gonna fucking win? Exactly, I'll say stuff like, I mean, are you gonna, that was more of a great defensive player than it was a bad intersting? I was like, that's your thought you're like, yeah But then why the percent of your why the press conference to shame the losing coach and he they never say anything

It's it's first of all, they're actually obligated to do which I think is think is dog shit. Let's stop, I agree with you on this one. Let's stop interviewing athletes and coaches who have had media training. They give them training to teach them to not say anything. Then we interview them, and I'm like friends with some journalists who won't like this take, but like the only time an athlete is interesting and it goes like viral is if the player

screws up and then the player gets fined for saying something it's the best they're like capitalizing on like look he screwed up he said a thing he shouldn't know it's why the UFC is amazing I love that they're allowed to say anything they say anything and Dana White is amazing he encourages it yeah and he also is like fuck that shit right because like, because all the other commissioners. He's like, can you believe these? He's like, you own this league? You run this.

The other guys are terrible. They're literally talking to the, Roger Goodell is the CEO of Coca-Cola. You know what I mean? He's not gonna say anything interesting ever. Correct. It's just like, and as an organization, we are committed to making their communities better. And you're like, okay. Dana is just like, and as an organization we are committed to making their communities

better. And you're like, okay. Like, Dana is just like, you want to see that fucking fight? I want to see that shit. Yeah, he's the best. Cool. Well, that's why I used to say, before Donald Trump, I used to always talk about how like, why would you even want a politician on your podcast?

Because when Obama did WTF, I was like, Barack Obama went into Mark Maron's cat-infested garage in Silver Lake or wherever. I couldn't believe it. And then you listen to the episode, you're like, oh yeah, he's the president. He can't just get on there and be like, you know, Shloban on Milosevic is a psycho. Listen to this story. He can't. He's the president.

Now he does better interviews. I've seen clips of him like he did What is it like Ryan Clark and Channing Crowder's podcast and those the way he was speaking you're like Oh, this is a guy who's not in office, right? and those that's great and he was funny on that and and interesting and again because he's an Ex-president right? So yeah, most the time no one's like Trump Trump where well that's why he kind of broke the mold of it oh sure which I don't even think I'll see all people fat I don't think we'll see that again I don't think the next few presidents crazy yeah if Barack Obama would have called a woman fat like it would have been the worst thing like for his life ever like it would have like

he would have tailspin but if you if I told you you know Donald Trump called some lady fat you guys go yeah, he does that all the time I think we're gonna see more of it not less. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't think I think people will try there's something that he has like a It's just like a mix of qualities that allows him Look, you can find a hundred things he's said that would have ended people's careers. Anyone else.

I think part of it is the source. People are just like, this is who this guy is. I think the only reason Trump won and won the popular vote and all this stuff is because he wasn't a politician. Now if any other person was running that wasn't a politician, they would have won instead. That's why I think we'll see more of it. Maybe if it's another non-politician. That's what we need.

Because you can't get into politics with that. You have to like come from the outside. And politics used to be, they'd come to your town, right? Before the internet, they'd come to your town and go, you guys like guns? Oh, hey, guns are good. We're going to help you with guns. And they go to the next town and they say, what do you got?

They go, we hate guns. They go, we're going to get rid of guns. But now with the internet, you you can't you can see that a Politician will say a thing and then you'll go but they just said a different thing in this and now we can compare it We have reels we have social media We have and so like the the age of being a politician where you just kind of say what works is it's over Yeah, you gotta be authentic. Yeah, authentically yourself. That's the other thing is that he's not I don't think he's like putting one on when he does that That's who he is. I think so too

And I think that like that not to confuse that with being honest, but it is he's not telling Different stories in different places as all yeah He said he's coming with his flaws and his things right there and you go alright. I do like we know we're getting I guess I like that he lost weight, and I like that he's not as orange. And I like, and... You're like my crazy neighbor. Oh yeah. You wanna talk politics? I like that he lost weight and he's orange. Hey, that's what we care about at your mom's house, okay? We don't talk politics. He did, he did. He did, he looks much better. He does. And I think he's actually toned it down a bit. Yeah. It seems to me since the last, I think he's calmed down a bit. Yeah seems to me since the last I think he's calmed down a bit after they tried to murder him after The FBI tried to kill him. Yeah, now he's like, all right

Oh, you know lay low a little ways. I think he did the Osempis think so course 78 I mean, he's great. He eats McDonald's. Yeah, exactly times a day. So yeah, maybe he did take some was like KFC I mean, I don't know much about about Ozempic. Everyone talks about it. It's in everyone's act. Oh, it's great. I want it. I know nothing about it. You're on it?

Back on it. Are you? Oh, yeah. Are there any negatives? Yeah, it's harder to shit. If you take too much, it'll back up your poo shit. She OD'd once. I OD'd once.

I like her honesty. I like this girl. I OD'd once, but it just made me lose a lot more weight that week, so it was kind of a win-win Yeah, big whoop. Yeah, what are we splitting hairs here? You want to wait, right? I mean if you're healthy that's like the only drawback is that you can't poop as easily but take some fucking stool softener Oh Zampik. Yeah, it's easy to get Yeah, you have to have one of those like doc fancy doctors. Okay, or a fancy doc I don't know if it's covered by insurance, so I think you have to pay out of pocket

You know okay. Yeah, it's funny. I mean it though. What do you what do you I'm just curious about it everyone talks about Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll be with like someone you know and they'll say I think your friend took goes in because I don't even know What that means yeah, but most people don't take really yeah? He was like pre-diabetic. He's like 285 and he took it and lost weight interesting Yeah, but they don't just take ozempic, there's different types that you can get on. But it's all called, people just call it ozempic. Yeah, it's pretty fucking great,

especially for us middle-aged. I wanna show you something. You tell me whether this is horrible or hilarious to you. Okay, it's probably gonna be both. Those overlap. But sometimes, here we go. I've got an interesting humor. Yeah?

Oh shit. That's amazing yeah, yeah, I really like it that's pretty good Yeah, I like these kind of Darwinistic like well what you expect kind of stuff like did you guys see chimp crazy on HBO? No, it's this it's the people from the guy who made Tiger King made a movie or made a Moronistic like well, what you expect kind of stuff like did you guys see chimp crazy on HBO? No It's this it's the people the guy who made Tiger King made a movie or made a doc series about the same kind of thing Instead of with cat people it's people that have monkeys and chimps Wow. It's you'll love it. What's it called? It's called chimp crazy Oh, wow, it's just as good as Tiger King, but now we're not in a pandemic. So everyone's not chimps when They feel the need to be aggressive, will do almost always the same things first to a male, because they identify that you're male. They'll bite your fingers off, because they know that these are your kind of weapons,

and they'll rip your testicles off. And then they usually will pull your jaw out, and they can pull strips of skin off of your back Like it's just pieces the only reason I know all this is cuz of chimp crazy They go through everything Travis the chimp who fucked up that lady like they go through all this it made me hate monkeys, too They're kind of gross to me now or hey made me hate chimps, but I'm sure think why I brought that up. Oh Because of the guy that bombed his hand off right right? Yeah, yeah. So for this, it's like, listen, if this dumb lady needs to keep a bunch of gross chimps locked up to be happy, good for her. I don't give a shit. Lock up these ugly, non-working Hollywood monkeys, right? But if those monkeys rip her fucking face off

and she looks like some ghoul on the Oprah Winfrey show I'm fine with that too. Yeah, I don't care about either I don't give a fuck about these monkeys or this dumb lady And so like I feel like that's kind of like the bomb in the hand You want to go shoot a bomb off at the lake then go for it do it But also when your hand blows off I go that's hilarious. Yeah, man. That's what you get stupid set this up that was 200 grams of ammonium nitrate and nitro... is it methane? It has a detonation velocity of what is it 58 kilometers a second. The person basically

made a bomb leading to his hand being blown straight off. The ammonium nitrate was used in World War one to make low-cost explosive dynamite. His hand being blown straight off. The ammonium nitrate was used in World War I to make low-cost explosive dynamite. His hand is gone and it took seven weeks to recover. Also, go back to the beginning of the video. Look how happy he is. And when he's looking back, like he's like, look at him looking back like he's really trying to impress everybody. Like check this out. Oh god.

I like the scream. Like he's really trying to impress everybody like check this out. Oh Like the scream Very guttural You gotta know how to light an explosive. I mean Well, how do you like that don't they teach you that like you don't hold it in the hand, right? I thought I thought I maybe just try to get like a super long wick Yeah, like yeah, right like we all learned. Yeah, maybe just try to get like a super long wick on something like that. Yeah, like, yeah. Like, we all learned that. Yeah.

Or put the thing down and then, you know, I just. That's the kind of thing that part of me, like, I go, that's hilarious. And then I always just think about our boys and I'm like, I'm looking at a show like this. I know. Oh, they're gonna have a thing. We gotta show them this kind of show. I've learned that with my sisters. Sisters will have like bickering between moms.

Like they'll go through these wars. Yeah. Where they're're like one girl will be mean to mom will be mean back. It's this weird female battle. But with boys it's always some big one thing. They get arrested or they knock up a girl or they beat up a kid in school who's gay and there's some weird thing. Some big thing. Just for being alive, okay? Yeah, tie him to a fence and now you can't go to Colorado anymore, Wyoming or whatever um What was gonna say about that what country was this in feels Russian yes? Yeah, it does Let's see if it says this is normal if it's Russian yeah It was a Slovakia so on the way. Yep.

Nearby. Here's another one. Let's see if this makes you laugh. I don't like these. Oh, god. I didn't even know that was possible. New fear unlocked. Oh, yeah.

You've never seen pectares? That made me, that didn't like that. Yeah, that was. He didn't ask for that. That counts as horrible. Yeah, he didn't ask for that. was- He didn't ask for that. So that counts as horrible. Yeah, he didn't ask for that. No, he didn't ask for it. He just weight lifted.

Yeah. He's not some jackass, he's just a cute guy trying to- Just some super hot guy. Oh, but see, look at that- I don't know, he's got four plates on there. Maybe he was exceeding, you know what I mean? Barking up the wrong tree. He was like, hey dude, if you try to Flex for the camera sometimes maybe that could be it

I've seen that I love that oh you don't have the after my class all the aftermath videos great Oh, yeah, you gotta have the aftermath. I love that bad This one's a mix of the two she wasn't asking for it, but I still like it I know yeah, she had a great sense mix of the two. She wasn't asking for it, but I still like it. I know. She had a great sense of humor because she put out the aftermath video, I think, in the same exact area. What could be the aftermath? Like, how bad could it be?

Just, oh, it's bad, dude. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her face hit that platform really fucking hard. It seems like it'd be kind of a, just an embarrassing one with a embarrassing She trying to yeah, but she was trying to be like an influencer Come to be like you know like playing like hey She hit that shit so far face first. Yeah, you know that wasn't tough one You guys don't have it

Bad work something about beautiful women getting hurt makes me happier. Oh, I was gonna say the opposite. No, it makes me happy cuz like there's it happens to them too. There's so like We're so beautiful. Yeah, and so to like see it makes it that much more funny But don't you feel sadder when attractive people get hurt versus unattractive people? I feel like what a waste. She's like this cute little blonde girl. What if we messed up her teeth or something, you know? I don't know what it is about it. Because there used to be an Instagram account that I followed that got banned, but it was called Girls Getting Hurt. And I'd send it to my buddy, he'd get so mad at me.

Because he'd be like, stop. Do you hate women? Why are you sending me this? I was like, it's just funny. It's funny. It's just funny to me. It's funny. I think it's amusing too because you know that somebody has an easier life Yeah, being attractive right so when they're protected we protect women and there are like these you know like like I Don't know it's like squishing a flower or something. There's something kind of rebellious about it. Yeah, there is there is all right Well, here's the next one. I keep talking too much during these There is. There is. Alright, well here's the next one. I keep talking too much during these. Oh!

Oh! That's a drunk. That's drunk, yeah. That's a good one. The good thing is she won't feel that. Yeah. Oh, shit. She's not gonna...

She had to check her ring cam and go, That's why my butt hurts. Oh, God. That's... That sucks so bad. Everything that she owns, though, made it on the patio. Like, made it on the porch. Look up! She's not like...

BOOM! Cigarettes, keys, wall... It all fell perfectly yeah But her tail bow is shattered Although she's got some cushion She does have a cushion Yeah, big butt That is, yeah

That's a good one Fuck, I could see why she's not doing that Hilarious That was hilarious That's all we got today That's it? That's it man, those are the four of the day Sometimes they're great

Do you ever show like... Dead? Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Hilarious. That was hilarious. Yeah. That's all we got today. That's it. That's it man. Those are the four of the day Sometimes they're great. Do you ever show like? deaths No, I mean it's happened and try not to like go like here's ten people dying Your guest is like what the fuck I feel like that like the face plant stuff is kind of about this lady Yeah, you know with we've had harmless fun harmless fun. Yes, I was like, hey

Here's a workplace accident. You're like Here's a shooting at a volleyball game. Like what the fuck? Yeah, the workplace injuries are the worst because those people don't want to fucking be there anyway, you know Like what like a forklift dropped in like 9 million? Just like some kind of spinning machine like nine million bottles of coke or just like some kind of spinning machine oh those will get caught in and you're like oh dude that poor guy yeah those are brutal too I always wonder about those like how do we know which ones are alive still mmm especially when they're like like the China ones and the Russian

ones they're just always like that machinery yeah they're posting the video like look at this they don't have like an OSHA like Standard it's like when a robot dies here. They just got says one of our employees We've seen some China workplace ones where like there's a pressure valve and a guy just explode like his body just explode and They're in China. They're just like yeah, they put it out. They go to this person live. They go. What do you think dude? Yeah, that's it. Just fucking go to work. You want to see the video or what? Yeah, you want to show them your yes I know you don't like tech talk, but I like to cure it. Oh, okay I curate them the marginal people the underrepresented people the people without voices. I like what a hero. Yes, I am This is for you

Do I pull out their tampons? So, yes, as an autopsy tech... He answered it so... I'll remove that if you have one in. Because I gotta remove all the stuff from the inside. All that comes out. Don't do that with your hands. So, if there's a tampon in there... It comes out too.

I'll remove it. You're welcome. I don't want you to like spend eternity with one ofon in there. It comes out to it. Yeah You're welcome. I don't want you to like spend eternity With one of those in there Don't you get like sick or something if one stays in too long? We don't want that happen. We don't want that happen I got you I'll remove everything everything gets removed got it. I'll throw that away All your pieces will get put in a bag and then the bag put in your belly

So you get to keep everything except for that tampon. I'll throw it away. I'll put it in the red Red band We'll get rid of it. Something tells me he's over explaining do that for you. Okay. He's got him Keeps Jesus. He keeps the town. Well, I like that he has a sense of humor about this. He's the best. So he does what he's saying. He's the autopsy, or the coroner. Whatever the fuck it is. Who takes the body parts out and prepares the... Yeah, the coroner. I think he got it. He does that. And he answers all people's questions on TikTok. Interesting.

It is interesting, actually. Is there any sort of, because you said you like to talk about the underrepresented on these things. Yeah, marginalized. Is there like a channel that you watch or anything on YouTube where you're like, I wish more people knew about this? Hmm. Do you? No. Because I watch some stuff where people come up and they go, you watch this?

And I go, yeah, this guy rules. Or this person. Oh, what are you into? Like, there's a channel called Decoy Voice, this guy rules. Or this person. Oh, what do you know? What are you into? Like, there's a channel called Decoy Voice, which is like a great political channel. But then there's one called Muck Bang Mermaid. Oh, well, those are on the talk. You know Muck Bang?

Of course I know Muck Bangs. Do you know Muck Bang Mermaid? I do not. This is a person doing Muck Bang, which I just learned what that is. I thought this was just the name of this character, Muck Bang Mermaid. I thought that was like a funny name she put before mermaid But she wears like this terrifying mask and eats foods, but she's doing this great character and the mask is so That's her a mukbang mermaid, but she's comedically brilliant

Whoever's in that costume is crushing it Because it's very funny. I love this It's scary. It is scary. I love it. This is more interesting to me than most Nice see this is my shit right here. Look at this guy Oh my god, you're POV when dating a six foot five three hundred pound caveman like me So this is just like the hornier side of talk, right? This is real why an index finger for that? I think he just can't show you what he wants to show you but just an index finger and he he's bragging about being 300 pound caveman? Well, he's giving you the POV for sure. Yeah,

yeah. That is terrible. Maybe the index finger is the perfect. Yeah, maybe that is. Yeah. He's being honest. Yeah. I like this. If you are a COVID conscious queer, okay, I should say a COVID conscious person, like someone who wears a mask, don't scroll because this is like literally life-saving advice because if you've just been like opening up your bifold popping it on squeezing it on your nose and going incorrect it doesn't actually create a proper seal because this is a V shape which is like not the shape of your nose what you actually want to do kind of switch this V shape into a V shape that is flatten it so it's like flat like this and then use

your finger and mold it so that you get like this round shape It Wow pop that on and squeeze it just as you would okay Great you'll notice you get a way better seal. This is huge for me like I didn't know I'd been really helpful for Everyone on the internet live in their car You look at you guys you got the this great You know you shoot a thing if you want to shoot an opinion about something you might walk around Yeah, why is everyone in their goddamn car most people don't have really don't have a space

Anywhere they could do this. I think that a lot of people are like where can I go that I can sit and talk and they Can be quiet. That's true. It's good for sound. It's my car. Really? I think so. It drives me nuts It's a lot of you're I can't hear to anyone's opinion if you're sitting in a you're totally right. It's good for sound. It's my car. Really? I think so. It drives me nuts. It's a lot of you're right. I can't hear to anyone's opinion if you're sitting in a toilet. No, you're totally right. It's always a car. Yeah, it drives me nuts. Well, I saw like I did cuz now my algorithms insane, you know It's I got the best curated algorithm for what I like But you'll see like a girl being like I'm gonna eat this whole pizza and you're like in your car Yeah, you have to do that in the car. Yeah, maybe a tick-tick table. You do you film ones in your car? I do I film yes, cuz sometimes like I mean car. I didn't know I was criticizing you. Yeah, maybe a picnic table you do you film ones I do I film

Yes, cuz sometimes like I'm not criticizing you no no no I don't mind I'll be in carpool lane like waiting to pick up the kid or something and I'm like oh I should do this now So I only have this much free time. I also like to eat in my car a lot Can you believe that's not an insult? That sounds like something I yell at her. I know. What do you want, a COVID conscious queer? But now it's her identity.

At least she was like, well, anybody really. That's co- Yeah, she went back if you're a conscious human. She's inclusive, but I do appreciate the lengthy- Explanation? Obnoxious explanation. She thinks it's really informative. She's letting us know.

She thinks she's helping. I did as hard as she could and she went all in. I just hit myself, so can you not get my ass? Thank you. Oh, we're definitely filming the ass. Pan down. Oh, and the person didn't? Yeah, that's cool.

She's a world-class marathon runner, I saw this story. She's like, yeah, top tier. She finished like in the top three on this one. Which correct me if I'm wrong, that's a common thing to show. Sure. Especially if you're the best in the world, right? Yeah, I think, yeah.

But you think the best in the world would evacuate their bowels before the race? I think they have to. I think it's still gonna happen. It's still gonna happen, yeah. Because don't forget she's running at least 26 miles. Do you know why it's still gonna happen. It's still gonna happen. Yeah. Yeah. Because don't forget she's running at least 26 miles. Gosh. Do you know why it's called a marathon?

Mm-hmm. I just learned this. No? No. When the Greeks slaughtered all the Persians, you know that movie 300 that really happened? Not as cool, but it happened. A guy ran back to let everyone know that Greek was victorious. And he ran an estimated 26 miles to let everyone know.

And he died from fatigue from that run to let everyone know that the Greeks were victorious. And that was the Battle of Marathon. No idea. Very cool. That's very cool, actually. Thank you. That's the smartest thing anybody's ever said on the show. That was the most useful thing.

That's a good one to know. I love learning stuff like that. I think that history is the best thing to know for comedy. It is. It would help. It helps a lot. It wasn't funny right now, but you know. I liked it. No, I think it actually does inform.

Yeah. Yeah, it gives you... Knowing things. People like you'll reference a war and they go, what are you talking about? You go, you don't know this? Yeah. Makes you look smart. Makes you feel smart. Yeah.

And then you can weave in the dumbest shit because you said something yeah, yeah, that's true Who knew that was in there so good huh, this is like oh shit This is like a DIY talk Well, yeah, it's kind of on the coattails of horrible or hilarious. What do you think? It's hilarious. Yeah, it's great. Oh, so why is he doing his own demo? Save a few bucks. He's like, I can do this myself. That sucks so bad. Don't do this.

Oh, fuck. Hopefully I just got his pants. I wish women knew the feeling of getting nut-tapped. There's no way you can never explain it. You really can't like all right that Yeah, you'd feel that and there's a delay I mean you of course you'd feel it it would hurt you is what I'm saying like that that fragile Yeah, would hurt you I believe Yeah, those are carrying also when I was young I got hit in the nuts a lot

I feel like it happened like once a day minimum and now that I'm an adult it never happens They're fragile bits. Yeah. Those are carrying. Also, when I was young, I got hit in the nuts a lot. I feel like it happened like once a day minimum. And now that I'm an adult, it never happens. But like as a kid all the time. And it's good. It's when you're forming. Yeah. Probably healthy.

Growing that first load. Sir Alex Ferguson said, he plays 4-4-2, but that was 4-4-2. Or that was 4-3-3. I'm working now for one of the more famous things. And I'm working on the next one. And I'm working on the next one. And I'm working on the next one. And I'm working on the next one. And I'm working on the next one. And I'm working on the next one. And I'm working on the next one. And I'm working on a million bucks.

Can you understand what's happening here? Do you have any idea what you just heard? No. German? It's German spoken by an Irishman. Ah. He's got that accent, which German's hard enough. Yeah.

For schweiden, den Faden, wasen, taffen. Yeah, he's got the Irish flair. Yeah. Isn't that great? That's great. I thought that was pretty amazing. It's a good talk. Good pool.

Right? Do we know what he was talking about? Sports. I should have won, but I didn't win. Yeah, exactly. We're going to try harder. Shit, look at that drop. This is a water sliding creek.

Oh, fuck off, dude. Never. Never. Oh, yeah. That's insane. Fuck that, right? Yeah, that's why we got the tube at the top part for like at Wild Waves. That would never pass here.

That would be like week one. somebody would fly off of that and be like, it's shut down. So I know Burt would do this bullshit, but would you do this? This? A slide like that? No, I don't think so. I mean, I couldn't do it. Well actually I could if you had me. Oh my god.

I just feel like my luck too, I would go right off of it. I would just go right to the right sir. I would go right off of it You can't set your good career ruined it all to the stupid water do Greek slide that is insane Getting work done. I don't think he's working. I think he's playing video games under the up for it? What does that mean? Who wants to suck me off? You know what it means. That's not hell- I know what it means, but I mean like why would he think that's gonna help him work or whatever? I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.

Again. Being gay is awesome. Is this for gays or for- Yes, of course. Yeah, no woman's gonna be like, let me jump under the desk. If this guy's straight, he has never interacted with a woman. Right, and it's not gonna work. Yeah, but gay guy for sure.

But he's got his pilot headgear on. He's playing a video game. No, and you can't be entirely sure until working remote This shot lets you know that he's gay because the armpit you're right I'm this babe apropos the earlier discussion armpit is like you guys like that really guys like yeah fucking love smelling armpits Gross. Oh, what the fuck? Yeah, it's such a gay pose Isn't that a game? We're talking about no way that's him, right? fuck? Yeah, it's such a gay pose. Isn't that a gay pose? We're talking about Luigi Maggioli. There's no way that's him, right? Is it him? I think that's him. No wonder everyone's so into this guy.

But also, isn't that pose? The arm up to me. And the panties down. Also, this is a strong move by whoever censored the cock. Because they make the bar super long. Yeah. It's smart. Wait, what were you guys? Oh the the arm thing Well, and the panties down under his knees. That's such kind of a gay guy thing

No, this episode's been so gay heavy. We're so So well just talking about talking about their community that deserves representation. That's right. They're marginalized. Yeah, we're trying to show America's most extreme fright experiences alone called the 17th door The objective is you work your way through 17 doors and rooms with each one getting progressively more intense eventually leading to the crazy 17th door as it includes all these things along the way you have to sign a wave and recite you signed it to a bunch Of cameras to get the light to enter it you sooner in the barbershop where they chop or shave your hair and then into this Room full of spiders and chemicals with cushions that inflate keep your arms at your side as the tarantulas are placed on your face

oh shit navigate through the tight corridors as characters with the legend of places chase you you run away into a room that starts rotating outside with acrobatic clowns after you dodge chickens before they seal you into these tight below freezing misty chambers for about a minute you go through another electric room where the charged ceiling starts dropping down on You before heading through this door where cockroaches are placed on you and in your clothes Next is a 30 second tight hug from this big latex sheet and a few wild rooms completed later You move into the party room where you begin to celebrate making it before being buried above the head deep in balls

It wasn't the only one that made it out though as I found this little guy in my pocket way after finishing. That is an experience. I can see how this could be some people's favorite fucking thing. You know the people that just love- I love horror nights and Halloween things. They've made a great documentary about these type of places. Yes. Do you like haunted houses? I love haunted houses. I don't like this kind of stuff, but also the reason like McManny Manor, I think it's called, was one of the most extreme haunted houses, I think it's called, uh, was one of the most extreme haunted house. I think it's still going.

Uh, is that right? Did I say the name right? Mcmanny Manor? McCamey Manor. McCamey Manor. Yeah. Anyways, the reason his was so controversial is cause there's no safe word. Like this one, at any point they can leave, he said, I made it out.

Meaning like some people were able to go, ah, let me out. That's the most extreme one. And they waterboard you. And like there's no out. You can't, ah, let me out. That's the most extreme one. And they waterboard you, and there's no out. There's no safe word. That's why they think this guy should be locked up. He also films it, which is because he's a creep, and he wants to watch all these people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that guy in the middle is the guy who runs it. And also to get in, you have to do this waiting list. It takes years. It's a huge contract. Two dog food cans you have to donate, which is strange. Really? That's part of it. Cool. I don't know. I mean, it's cool that like you're totally crazy. Yeah. You have to be a psycho. That is completely insane. Sexual kinks for sure.

Uh, I also, this is a tick tock thing when he was doing it, when he was explaining it, I don't like the cadence in which he's exp- why is it so mon- like so- Some of those narration voices. I went into the things and then once you go through the 13 chickens, then you have to go to the electric thing that's being those. And then like why is that how he's explaining it? That's a TikTok cadence the girls do too. I woke up this morning and had my matcha tea latte and then that was very delicious. And then I went into the-

Yeah I don't like that. It's just like a cadence that TikTokers- It's autistic-y. Yeah. It's very weird. Which was very tasty, very yummy. Thank you. And you're like, shut up. Yeah, I hate the way he was explaining that haunted house.

Oh shit. Oh, I saw this. Oh yeah. New Zealand's youngest MP started early. Look at his face. This is so silly. It's so ridiculous. In parliament, doing their battle song? It's ridiculous.

And we're all supposed to think Isn't it great? So we look virtuous. It's ridiculous. It's so like, come on man. He's fucking bullshit. I hope you beat the USC. It's fine on a football field.

What are we doing it in parliament for? The like I said. I hope you beat the USC. It's fine on a football field. What are we doing it in Parliament for? That's too hard. The white guy faces are the best part. Oh yeah, it's terrifying. I kind of like the chant itself. I think it's pretty hard. Like, I like it.

The chant goes hard. Alright, cut the shit All right, you guys did your little song. It's so ridiculous, and I know people bring it Oh, he's being a dickhead about no. It's like knock it off Yeah, this is that's what you do like before the rugby game. We've also evolved this I don't bring my gun into that Parliament to go, it's my culture, this is what we used to do, we're all cowboys. This form of protest. We've evolved past you shouting some tribal thing. But halfway Jeff die. What are we doing? Halfway. The point is. And you go, hey we got all sit here terrified.

The first time I saw it, I hated it. And now I've been watching it more. And I like the actual chant more. It's become funnier to you, right? No, now I see how tough it is. Cause like she, I watched a video about like the dude, those crazy eyes to scare the opponent. And I'm like, yeah.

I've seen it a million times. Battle that's where that comes from. Yeah, I like that. I like it. It's pretty tough. But it's fun to seen it a million times battle. That's what that yeah, I like that. I like it It's pretty tough, but it's fun to see it Like that's why I'm against it. I'm not against them doing the hawk. Is that what it's called? I'm just I'm just against them doing it in Parliament Well, the guy was dressed like Papa Shango and it's supposed to be like this civilized thing

I would love to hear this guy on the bottom summary when he got home. Oh yeah. Tell his wife. You know how they get. They came in. They started screaming and hollering, doing their dance. You know, they did the whole thing. She goes, did they do the eyes thing? Oh, yeah, that was part of it. Hand shaking.

I tried to get order and they kept popping in with some new ones What'd you do? I just said we're just calling it a day. We're just not gonna do this. You should have seen Gary He was fucking terrified. Well, you're right. That's what he did. He just called it a day He's like this needs to be cleared. We're just done y'all the next day. He's like, are we gonna do a fucking show again today? Yeah, I know I hated it I saw that video like four times and every time was like, this is ridiculous. And read the comments. The comments are like so supportive, like isn't this beautiful? Like it's not beautiful. It's ridiculous. Also, if they were gonna stick to the tradition, they wouldn't be wearing female pantsuits. Yeah, that's so disruptive though. Yeah, that's not part of it. But I do enjoy the disruption. I do think it's funny.

It was funny. I mean, but yeah, just seeing the white guy's face. They went worldwide, like globally viral. Oh, sure. Well, she's making a good name for herself, and that's good. Pretty cool. Yeah. All right. Um, Jeff. The podcast, excuse me, the special, The Last Cowboy in LA. Yes. Is available on YouTube right now. Please check it out, and people can get tickets at JeffDy.com. Yeah. I'm gonna be all over. And welcome to. Yeah moving here. Yeah, I'm excited. It's very exciting. I love it here

Awesome. I love you guys show. We'll come back. Thanks for having me on my mom's moving here, too So maybe you guys can become good friends. I'd like that. Yeah, she cool All right, thank you for for coming thank you guys for watching I want your fucking lighter It's a orange lighter What the fuck? I'm gonna hook this motherfucker on It's a black fucking lighter You see this shit? It's a black fucking lighter What the fuck?

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AG, then you out your money Y'all, then you out your money See this shit, AG, then you out your money Y'all, then you out your money What the fuck This episode of Your Mom's House podcast was brought to you by Rogue. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.