Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - My Day On A P*rn Set w/ Adam Ray | Your Mom's House Ep. 863

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

Watch "The Adam Ray Show" premiering June 19th on Netflix! Christina P is back touring! Check her out in Chicago September 18th and 19th. Get your tickets at https://christinap.com/pages/tour-dates Gape your 4th eye with Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell's new podcast Mystery Boys and get to the bottom of what's really going on in the world: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-i3EV1v5hLdsQknDbyTEDhROmB-qoGg7 SPONSORS: Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code YMH. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://shopify.com/ymh Hey Hitlers! Tom is back in the Mommy Dome with comedian and master of disguise, Adam Ray! Adam is sober this time and very sorry about the strip club incident that went down when he was previously in town. If you don't know what I'm talking about go back and watch that one episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Tom drops a few announcements and Adam's got a new show dropping on Netflix June 19th. But before any of that, they watch the opening clip, which inspires a debate about toxic masculinity and homophobia. From there they get into the Kevin Hart roast fallout, Tony Hinchcliffe's Comedy Store grind, and the two comics who nearly broke "Dr. Phil Live". Adam also tells the story of Brad Williams taking him to a webcam porn shoot in a strip mall right before Passover Seder. They watch Backwards Brenda, a hick influencer in a Walmart parking lot, roast a Portuguese woman's forehead with the help of the comment section, and run some Horrible or Hilarious clips including carnival disasters and a man who doesn't learn from his mistake. Somehow it all ends with Mr. Hands, the internet legend who died because the wrong horse showed up. Yeah, this episode gets pretty dark for some reason. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 863 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:07:31 - Opening Clip: Don't Open The Door 00:08:53 - A Quick Update + Tony Hinchcliffe Impressions 00:21:16 - Is It Gay If A Man Opens A Door For You? 00:25:42 - Two Doors Down From A Porn Star 00:31:16 - Brad Williams Takes Adam to a Live Porn Shoot 00:36:50 - Backwoods Brenda 00:40:07 - Big Forehead Comments 00:45:09 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:52:01 - Mr. Hands 00:58:52 - Clip: Sparks In Face 00:59:52 - Adam On Blind Date 01:07:46 - The Adam Ray Show Teaser 01:11:57 - Adam & Tom Talk Character Work 01:19:34 - Closing Song - "Ass Liquor" by R PATTZ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. We are joined by a very, very funny guy. And thank God, Netflix got their shit together. And they are putting out the Adam Ray show starting June 19th on Netflix. It's Adam Ray, everybody. Yes, sir. Not drinking this time.

No. And out of bald cap. Yeah, dude. Last time I was here. Pretty, well, were you totally? Mosty last time? Remember we drank? I was doing Phil with you and Bart.

And then we went to the strip club. Dude, that fucking, that, that, the, when I, sometimes the highlights of that come on, like, they're reposted, you know? And every time, I, a lot of times when you, you know, if you're scrolling and you see yourself, I scroll, I flip it away. 1,000%. That one I always watch because I remember how hard. Drinkable soups, Tom. And specifically the line about carrot top. when you go, stop fucking around,

and I laugh so fucking hard. I laughed like it was the first time. That was so fucking funny. Yeah, that was a blast. I was so nervous for that too. I don't think I. Really? Oh, yeah.

Well, dude, you, I, you know, there's a handful of pods. Even like the first time I went on Marin's pod or Joe's pod. Yeah, yeah. Like, there's just a handful of pods that, you know, and to each his own, but you put them up on this pedestal. And like, so being in Marin's basement, I was like, whoa, this is where it happened. Same with Rogan Singh. I'm like, that's the fucking, you know, we're, we're wolf or, it's a werewolf, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a werewolf. Yeah. And so, and same thing, seeing like your guys is a student, like, and the backdrop and everything. So it's just, and you just know how many people are watching it and you can't. I'm sure, like, again, probably pretty comparable to, like, people going on late night shows when they really matter being, like, knowing how many people. are watching. And it was also like the Phil stuff was kind of just doing that. So I was like, and I just wanted to crush it for you guys because you were having me on. You crushed so much.

And I remember just like, so it was almost nervous energy of just like plowing through. Have you had it yet? And you'll know what I'm talking about though. Because when you go in, especially with the goal of comedy, like when you're going in to do Phil or a character, like you're going in like I'm going to do comedy, I'm here to make you laugh. Have you ever, have you had it? You don't have to get into if you don't want to, but have you had someone who's, like, resistant to it? Like, in other words, oh, yeah, old managers. Should we shot him out? Where's the, where's my old manager, Cam? Hey, yeah, Tucker, remember when you said, don't do characters? Um, yeah, there's only one Tucker who's a manager. He'll know he is, but, um, no, he's a great guy. Um, really, uh,

so you're saying, like, somebody that just says, yeah, you know, like, when you go, like, sometimes, look, you can be yourself, um, not even in character, like, you're going to do radio. Oh, yeah. And you're like, you know, you're like, you're like, I'm I got a story and you see the person is like not reset. They're not open. They don't want to laugh. Like they're shut down. But I figure like with characters, like you have to be on the other end of it.

You have to be like wanting to participate. Oh, totally. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, we never had with the Phil stuff anybody truly put up a wall. I mean, the only people that ever really were jokingly resistant were, and this probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

If I were to name two comics that did the Dr. Phil live show that were like, that either actively broke the fourth wall or kind of like, or straight up like almost to the point where they said my, because that was my only prerequisite. I was like, you know, I didn't like to give anybody a heads up. I gave Bobby a little bit of a heads up because he was such a fucking mess, Bobby Lee. But then end up being, you know, does. But then does what he does and crush. But they were, so I always would say, just treat me as Phil.

Like, just don't, so that I can like, don't. at some point be like, Adam, what are you doing, dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But two comics got, you know, to the goal line on that. And if I were to say, who do you think? I mean, were they grumpy?

Are they grumpy? On the grumpy or side. Is Mark one? Mark. Marin? No, no. Marin actually, I mean, great. I mean, at one point he told a story

about how he got cut out of D3 Mighty Ducks. And I go, if I got cut out of the third mighty ducks, I'd take that shit to the grave. I go, that might be the most embarrassing fucking story I've ever heard Mark Merritt. He came to play. But they are two white guys. One of them is bald. One of them has hair.

Okay. One of them's older. One of them's younger. One of them's a roast guy. One of them's from Boston. Wait, Ross? No. Oh, you said bald roast. I just went to the... One of them's fucking, you know... Oh, Bill. Of course. He's grumpy. Yeah. And he...

He, uh... He, what do you say? He goes, uh... He said something where he kind of like razzed me. And then the crowd like, you know, was just... were always on Team Phil. So it was like, if you did come out like that, people were like, fucking not cool, man. And so he goes, he goes, oh, come on, really? It's fucking, you feel bad for fate, Dr. Phil?

He goes, that's underneath all that makeup. It's just a sad clown. Which was very funny. It's very funny. You know, come on, man. You got to have thick skin. And it's also, it was making me laugh. And that's, that might have been the episode

where my mustache would always get pretty loose. And so I'd say, you know, you're going to make my mustache fall off. And then Jezelnick. Oh. Jazzelnick said, I go, so how do you put together an hour? You know, that's, you know, every year you do another set of jokes. You, you, you're out there grinding and winding and figure out, you know, put one foot in front of the other.

You're waking up with the sun. You're going to bed with the moon. And you just figure out, I got another set of bits to do. How do you do that? He goes, well, it's, you know, it's, you just get out there and you do it. And you, you know, it's just, you know, you write all the time. It's not like I could just, you know, I could do it the easy way and just, you know, do a character. And then he says that back.

And by the way, so then again, and I also, you have to go into like talk show hold most. And you're good at this too where it's like, you never, you don't want to make people look bad or feel bad. And I don't want the crowd to think like, oh shit, like this one's getting weird. Like it's all should be in fun. So I kind of like, you know, smirk and smile and kind of like let everyone know like, all right, like I'm, you know.

And then I kind of pause and I was like, you know, I hear you. You know, I go, but there's not just one way to eat or Reese's, you know. And I go, you know, I go, because look, you know, I could do what you're doing, you know, jokes, dead baby jokes, but been there done that, you know. But, but, you know, good on you. Keep doing what you're doing. There's an audience for, you know. And then, uh, and we kind of fist-bumped or whatever.

And that kind of like, but that was early on. He was kind of, but he also didn't know what it was going to be. So I think that was almost like a defense mechanism. Yeah. Of him, like, needing to come at me to make himself comfortable, not knowing that, like, I'm not doing that to anybody. Yeah. And so then I kind of went out of my way after that to tell people, like,

I'm not going to set you up to fail. I'm not going to like try to make this a bad experience, which, you know, should have been. Well, there is like with, I think with certain people, not with you, but there's certain people who you do, if they invite you to something, your immediate first feeling is fear. You're like, this motherfucker.

Yeah. Because, you know, you don't know what they're like. They're kind of unpredictable, but you don't give off that kind of energy. I just want to have some goofs and maybe get some fun clips out of it. And also just, it's a live show. Like you just want to have some fun. fun. Yeah, exactly. All right, throw those on for a second because it's the opening clip. I can't wait. We will talk about it. We'll get into your show. Here you go.

Close the door. I don't want another man holding the door for me. Why? Bro, I don't even let my wife on top of me you have sex because to me that's gay. You got it. Okay. Close the door. I'll open it myself. Thank you. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone mother to this. Yo, mom in the fucking stand. Well, welcome. Welcome. Welcome. to your mom's house

with Tom Segura Tom Sucura. It's a long intro. I love it, dude. Make it longer. Yes, that's the right fucking attitude. Yeah, that's the Norm MacDonald way. We did one time have a 10-minute intro song.

No, you did. Yes, and we just... Oh, wait, I think I did see that. It was a long time. Yeah. People were, this is so fucking long. We'll make it longer. Yeah.

Oh, my God. By the way, fear not everyone. Christine and I have been recording separate episodes. Oh, great. Yes. She's been back on the road. Yeah, I love that.

She's also mom of the year. She's volunteering at the school. So cool. It's very crazy. I would never do that. Really? Of course not. You're like, that's what moms are for.

Dads aren't there. Yeah, also, how much time do you want to spend around the other dads? Oh, my God. I'm assuming not a lot. Especially if you're used to hanging out with comedians, then you meet like a normal dad. It's a big drop off. Also, I will be, I can now announce this because this is being recorded in advance. I'm flying to L.A. today to announce a deal that we have with Fox.

So I will be producing three new shows for them. So I am out a lot. We're covering for each other. Wow. Fear not, we will return to record some episodes together in the near future. Cheers. Mozzle, dude. Wow.

Thank you, Fox. Yeah, thank you Fox. It's good for YM.H. Studios. It's good for the audience. This is going to be things that I think our fans will be very excited about to see in the very, and we're doing them all this year, which is pretty crazy. Dude, it was only a matter of time until you expanded your, like, creative endeavors. I mean, bad thoughts, so funny, dude.

Thank you so much. Pretty deep into the second season. And please, if you have not yet watched bad thoughts, also a YMH do. You hit number five today, I heard. We hit number five. Huge. We're moving up. Usually you debut higher and you go down.

Right. We debuted down here and we're going up. That's pretty exciting. Wow. Yeah, very exciting. We have some serious competition, though. We have the fucking Stranger Thing guy's new show. Dude, is it cake?

Is it always a bit? It's always, you always got to consider it. The roast is still trending. Oh, fuck, dude. Fucking roast. Well, if you saw it, you can only imagine why it's still so fucking popular. The George Floyd jokes were just fine. Easy.

Kevin loved him. Check the internet. That, yeah. Your mother is doing stand-up in Chicago, Illinois, September 18th, and 19th. Get your tickets at ChristinaP.com. Welcome to the mystery boys. I'm Kermis, Trez, White Clausemus, Dunstan Trudeau. We're here to gape your fourth eye.

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Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash yMH. Go to Shopify.com slash ymh. That's Shopify.com slash ymage. Like, my favorite thing is for more than a decade, whenever I'm around Tony, if I ever run into him, anytime in the last 15 years and I go, how's it going? He goes, amazing. Amazing. Unbelievable. Everything is doing it, Tom.

I'm like, okay. Look at what you've built. Look at this facility, the infrastructure. Austin is the new comedy. Mecca. Rock and roll. Rick, Rick Engel, I just saw Rick at the start. He goes, you know,

I wish I could do it, Rick, but he was just so fucking, he was like, he's like, yeah, he goes, Tony comes up and me and goes, got to move down to Austin, Rick. He goes, it's like LA, but with a little bit of rock and roll. He's the best. He really does take a page from WWE. Yes. Yeah, that's, that's for sure. I also, when anyone asked me, like, about Tony's, you know, flare, confidence, if you want to call it, arrogance, whatever, I've just known him since we were door guys at the store. I did phones and he was, I think, an actual door guy. And so I wasn't out in the mix is much more behind the scenes. But answering phones and, you know, and listening to, you know, like Tommy, the old Booker, you know, scream the N-word because Freddie Lockhart cancels the lolloyas spot.

You know, just the classic stories from beyond the walls. Yeah. And Tony just, I've just known him for so long. So even then he was had this sense of a hundred percent. So so when people were like, I just don't take it seriously because I know him from so far back that I don't. Yeah, maybe it's grown with his accomplishments. But I just still know that I'm so silly with him.

He used to say this too. He's like we'd be so joking in the parking lot of the store and he's like, no one brings us out of me, but I'm only silly when we're like we just, we're just goofy. And so so I don't when I see. him being so polarizing, you know, whether it's here or, you know, at the roast or at the fucking Madison Square Garden, wherever, it almost doesn't even like phase me because I'm like, I don't know. I think he, I feel like it's not an act because he's, it's a deliberate move

to do what he's doing. And I think he likes the, but I also think he doesn't want to be hated. No one does, dude. No one does. If you're in comedy, you want to be. You want to be loved. Isn't that a part of walking out? You want, you like. You like. that's why he's walking out, you know, just... No, he wants to make you laugh. Yeah, for sure. Everyone does. So it's, I think he really is, like, going for the jokes. And, like, you know, we're just...

And not to beat a dead horse, I feel like this has been a topic everywhere. Even my stepdad was like, you see, the Kevin Hartrose? I'm like, George, you didn't watch it, but you just want me, my take on it. Yeah. Go back to the garden. But he, he's gardening. He's 82. So, yeah, it...

Too many opportunities to like break down and and see why jokes were made for the, it's, I don't know, it's, maybe I'm such a simplistic, you know, taking such an easy approach to it, but I'm just like, I don't know, they went for the, they went for what they thought was the funniest joke. I think that's kind of where it begins and ends and not. There's people who, their thing is, I'll go further. Like that's part of their thing. Like Tony and Chelsea, like, yeah, they're,

might be some real underneath there. But also they were still making jokes. Yeah. And maybe because there's a little bit of I actually don't like this person underneath. You got some of the jokes teetered a little bit more on just like name calling and stuff like that.

So if that's where you want to maybe gripe about it, sure. But they still had plenty of jokes. And then if you were going to comedy police it and break down the accuracy of them and, oh, she said they were at the Riyadh, they weren't even there. All right. I was, I was so like, I mean, I guess because we're used to it, but like, I was so unfazed by the controversy.

I was like, these are, these are like, social comedy controversy. I know. What are we doing? What are we doing? It's like, and you're talking about roast jokes that go too far. They're supposed to go too far. I know, dude. Like it doesn't, I will say this, though, for all this shit that like, you know, once you get

to a certain level of popularity, people talk shit about you. Yeah. For, for Tony, I will say this. if you are a younger comedian coming up, I would encourage you to look at how this guy was unwavering in his belief that this show was the show. And I'm telling you, when I look back, I remember being in L.A.

And he would be like, do you want to come do this show? I was like, what is the show? He's like, you know, it was in the main room. And that guy never missed a Monday. Consistency is king, man. holidays and he was like no the show is growing and it was like it was a little show man it was a little show i did it was in when it was in the belly room and he he fucking never ever ever missed a and like that's something to to celebrate about a person is their belief in themselves dude how many more how

many being consistent i love that you said that do you know how many people i'm sure we both know and he's gay and he's gay and that helps a lot because you have a crutch and you have a you have a gimmick you know yeah it's like you know like brad is short tony's gay like yeah like yeah You know, you got people in wheelchairs. Also, how many, what other show takes people with speech impediments or that can't even speak or that are trans? Severely mentally ill. I mean, it's wild. It's like not, and doesn't, I would understand all the flack and hate if it was like, oh, he's having these people on to like chastise and ridicule them and be like, look at this fucking game.

I just did one last week. Oh, great. I'm sure it's out now by this time with, it was. Tony, myself, and Cheryl Underwood. Whoa. And I have never laughed. I've done that show, I don't know, a dozen times or something over the years. I've never laughed harder than I have on this particular episode.

From the bucket pools? From the bucket pools, from the commentary. Tony's quick retorts, right? Everything. It was the whole thing. It was for me the most perfect and fun episode I've ever done of that show. Awesome. Yeah.

I don't want to do it again. It was too good. It's never going to live on. I get that. I get that. It was so fun. Wow, man. It was so fun.

And by the way, I will be sending in field pieces while I'm out. In L.A.? Yeah, and on set and from these different things. Wow. And I think they're going to be really perfect for your mom's house audience, things that they will really enjoy. Things that are on brand, as we like to say. That opening clip was very on brand. Dude, how great was that guy.

Unbelievable. I love how the guy was like, what's the problem? You need to. Not you need to. so like any mom with a kid in show business, what sounds like a good idea. You need to. My mom, since I got going,

you need to get Steven Spielberg to listen to you. Okay. She would agree that your plethora of clips that feature guys on the other end of the camera the fucking guy. Don't hold the door for me. It's gay. Yeah, dude.

But I've heard so many of those guys in the clips and it's like I would love to see all those guys together. I don't know if they're road tripping or they live in a house, but like this guy already, I want to know where he's from, where he's going. Why?

I don't even let my wife on top of me. I don't even let my wife on top of me. I don't even know. That's gay. You got it. Okay. I love how the guy, instead of,

he realizes, he recognizes how fucking stupid this guy's logic is and just, you know, because he's not worth arguing with it. No. I don't have let my wife on top of me because that's gay.

Yeah, this guy right. Yeah, look at him. Close the door. I'll open it myself. Have a good one. Have a good one. I will have a good one. As a straight man who likes breast and vagina.

How scared is this guy of cock? I mean, he's scared that he'll love it. Yeah, I think he's a little petrified. Yeah. He also has had a couple moments in the past couple years, months that have made him think like, oh, maybe, like I think a friend, you know, convinced him to get a facial. And he was like, fuck, I fucking loved it.

It was amazing. It was unbelievable. It was amazing. That shit feels good. And this was a guy who used. to make the jokes where like if he heard him. It ain't that kind of facial. Yeah, yeah.

His name's not Brad. Yeah. Well, it was who did it, but he didn't put his cum on my face. It was a little bit of cream. It was a woman. She basically wanted to jerk me off. Yeah, exactly. He's always overcompensating to make anything that sounds, yeah.

That's so crazy to have that mentality. Any, do you let a guy open the door for you? Yeah, you did it the other day. Hey! And you let it happen. You weren't like, shut the fuck the door. I'm not a fag. Now let me ask this.

If you opened it with your cock, that would be different. Dude, that's so funny. Somebody said that to me once. I was doing the stair stepper at 24-hour fitness years ago. The story gets better. And I was on, and I was,

by the way, this particular day, I had, I was next to, I don't want to say when porn really took off, but, you know, me. When did porn really take off? I don't know. Let's go back to the beginning. When was the first titty fuck?

Dude, David Attenborough needs to do a whole, like, not like where are they now porn stars, but just a real historical, maybe it's a Ken Bernstock. Yeah. Can, let's get Ken and Dave in a room. And maybe this could be one of the Fox shows, get at Brodard. Remember when Atel did, what was the porn show he did on Showtime? Oh, Dave's old porn. Great. Yes. But I, maybe let's, you know, revamp it and have a little more current content. Yeah. Yeah. Because some of that stuff was tough to watch. But, but so there's a porn star that I had seen on a video. I'm going to say this is, so this is pre, you know, what is this, 20, I'm going to say 20, 10, 2011.

I'm still working at Universal Studios. And I'm at the 24th Fitness. And a girl, no joke that I had been watching, is on the machine next to me. Bad skin or looks good? Looks pretty great. Okay. Warmer temperatures means spring is approaching

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Tom Hanks could have been one more down and I would have not even seen them, dude. And that made me feel sad, confused. Sure. As to where my priorities were, as far as seeing famous people. Famous people. I mean, it was, I couldn't believe, it was almost like seeing your teacher at the mall.

You know, I was like, shouldn't you be inside, you know, blowing people? Yeah. But here she was trying to get in shape for the summer. And, um, maybe for other things. For other things, for sure. And so I, uh, but so anyway, so I get off and I was telling, um, a friend of mine,

I'll live that night at open mics that I was doing the stair stepper and she goes, Jesus Christ, so fucking gay and I go, I wasn't doing it exactly like you did, I go, I wasn't doing it like this. Yeah. And she was like, even just the fact that you told me that makes me, that's so gross, that a grown man

does the stair stearpper, like that's the gayest fucking machine. Jesus. Yeah, and it fucked me up for a couple weeks. I mean, the stair stearstepper's great. I feel like, yeah, I don't know. It definitely gave me a complex as far as like what how what women I was like fuck what are other things I'm doing

that I viewed as pretty pretty normal heterosexual that are that are fucking guys giving yeah that's super gay that's an obvious one yeah the this is also something that was in the bank that I wanted to show you just to get

your take on I feel like this is a possible please everyone that we play on the show is a possible Adam Ray character by the way bro the amount of people I now get messaging me with people from videos that they're like, here's your next character. Or sometimes people would even just comment on things. Like, I have to roll over in bed every other night now

and, like, you know, pull my wife's eyes up just to make sure it's not Adam Ray. Full makeup. And I just remind me, when you were saying the porn person was on the, at the gym, I lived in Hollywood many years ago. Yeah. Two apartments down was a star. Wow.

And when at first time, you know, I'm like 22 years old. Oh, yeah. So I'm well versed in the topic at the time. Yeah, yeah. And I just do like a double type. I'm like, oh my God, because I just moved to L.A. I'm like, I live in L.A. And someone who I've stroked it to many times is two apartments down.

Wow. This is going to lead to us shooting one. I'm going to be in a movie. That's fine. Hey, everyone starts somewhere. They start somewhere. You know what's so funny. It's just L.A.

truly is filled with people that are. in porn, that are about to be in porn, they just got out of porn. All the, yep. Also, I think there's all, there's little people. There's people trying to be in the biz. There's people that are just like, you know, deciding that this might be their last year and then they're moving

back to Omaha. It's really wild. And I know you've been out of there for a while, but like, do you get, where do you find, where do you get that replacement energy in Austin? Or are you just so now like in your own, in your zone and you got enough fuel? Because like, I still enjoy the, I still use it as fuel. to the fire of being around the energy of LA, but I'm sure at some point...

The energy of LA is amazing. Yeah. Porn energy is not something that I miss at all. I also feel so, like, detached and removed from it. I look at it as, like, a time where, like, I used to drink, you know, like, that kind of thing. That's how it feels to me. Okay. Because also, I remember that this particular person is, like, bad skin.

I remember, like, that was one of those things where you're like, oh, shit. Yeah. Like, you have a whole other face. on when you do this stuff. Yeah. The levels of it. Weathered and tagged. But my favorite story of like, like I'm saying in a general sense of that world is when

they go, I moved to LA to become an actress. And you're like, fuck. Yeah. This is what you're doing after pursuing acting? Yeah. They're like, it's still movies. And you're like, fuck. That's a spin on topic.

It's still movies. Yeah. I would love to hear the story of someone who came for porn. And then, which by the way, would be a great title for their. I came for porn. I came for porn. Yeah. A couple of meanings with that.

And then they, it didn't work out the way they planned. Yeah. Or they did so well that they're like, I think it's time, you know, like, you know, they're meeting up with a friend and they're like, like, hey, are you going to be in Big Cox 5? Yeah. By the way, that's the title I could think of right now. Big Cox 5. I mean, but you know what? It's probably out there.

Yeah. Are you going to be in, we're going to fuck now, seven? Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then the guy goes. Actually, Eric, I got an audition for CSI on Friday. And you go, what? Yeah, I'm stepping out of the business, man.

I'm going to take my shot, no pun intended. Legit. I'm going to jump into the world of acting. I'm over with dummy ME now. So, yeah, working with Bruce, you know, Bruce. He reps all the Survivor guys. So I'm going to try to see what happens. Bro, we did a blowbang together last week.

That's the old me, man. That's the old, that's the old, Biff. Do they know what you did? Look, the tape ain't going anywhere, but neither is my drive to be successful in a business I got nothing to do with. It's on the internet, bro. Hey, man, everything's on the internet. I can show you a video of a woman getting attacked by penguins if you got two days. I would go get plastic surgery so that people don't recognize you.

Nah, man, I'm going to, I think it's going to help, actually. I think people are going to see what I did and go, that guy's now doing that? He's now with the rock? No, they're not. Well, you sound like one of my many haters that I've already got on the internet. So you keep doing what you're doing. You're the gaping guy. You're in Gary Gap.

Yeah. That's what they know you for for gaping, man. Well, now they're going to know me is the voice of the dog in Airbud 12. But it is a weird thing. Don't you feel like today, like, there's always a stigma attached to that world? I think so. But I do feel like today is like the, of all times, the time where you could pivot out of that and just be like, I do this now.

I think so. Yeah. I think people have a short. attention span and don't really, it just depends on, it's almost like, you know, a new streamer dropping and it's like, you know, what's their first, what's their hit show that's going to make people immediately like tune in? So I feel like if you're a porn star and you immediately get in some big Ryan Gosling movie and you're like the lead female actress and everyone's like, dude, there's a porn star on that gossip movie, but then you crush it or does it just depend

on how much work you've compiled prior to that? I don't, that probably, that probably plays a role in it. Because if people can see... But you know what's funny is that everybody ultimately still just wants to be in like a legit movie. It doesn't matter if you're like a streamer, TikToker. There are porn stars out there that are... Everyone's... Yeah. That are probably like complaining about the dialogue.

Yeah. And they're like, dude, just fuck her butt. Yeah. And he's like, the words don't make any sense, Tom. Yeah. There's gotta be. That makes me so happy, actually. You know, shout out to Dave Attell for the Dave's old porn. But that was the thing about that early era stuff is they made a movie right they used to make like storylines

have the performances yeah and then it would just be like you were almost watching a real movie that just had graphic sex scenes that all shifted that all shifted away where they were like yeah I mean it was kind of like you you get lost in a in an actual story totally that's what it was in the 70s 80s yeah I've seen one I don't think I've told the story before I've seen one porn live ever and I was a plus one uh to this set visit with a comedian um wow if you were to guess one comedian that can't Tripoli close okay drop about uh two feet and um he's a comedian he's a smaller of smaller stature okay um four foot four some would would say is the exact height um which is dwarf size Oh, Brad?

Yes. I'm sorry. Yes. Of course. Brad, when I knew him, he knew all the porn stars, all the swingers. Do you ever go, sorry to pivot. Do you ever go on Twitter and you end up on some porn or sex persons? Yeah.

And then it just, it's always as followed by. And it'll be like the same comic. You're like, dude, you follow everybody. Yeah, yeah. It's like Brad Williams, Stephen A. Smith. Yeah. It's like, you're like, dude, you're following everybody. Yeah.

You're following everybody. So Brad goes, do you want to go see this porn? And I was like, where is it? I have a Passover Seder at my Aunt Shirley's house at 5 in Van Eyes. He goes, it's in Chatsworth. I go, pretty close. Pretty close. I'll meet you there.

I'll have a story for Passover. Oh, I did. And, I mean, just cut to the end. My Aunt Shirley was like, where were you coming from? I was like, well, have you ever seen two women squirt at the same time? Past the Cougal. No, so we walk in and there's. a guy in a like, you know.

In a house, in an office? Great question. We're talking 1980s strip mall. It looks like an office building where it looks like maybe there's an editing bay. It's all like, it looks like a motel almost, like just kind of a motel meet strip mall. And there's probably an old Quiznos marquee on one end. And there's, you know, a rub and tug and a baseball card shop. It's like just all sorts of things that feel like their facades for other shady shit going on.

maybe a psychic booth. And then this little, just 309 or whatever it was, we knock on the door. This guy looks like Billy Bob Thornton, opens the door, wearing a mesh tank top and, you know, just starter jacket. And he's just scratch his balls. He's like, Brad, what's up, man? Come on in.

Hey, who's your friend? Hey, come on. Hey, you really see some crazy stuff? And I was like, yeah, I mean, I'd be bummed if I didn't see, you know? And we walk in after meeting the host, and he takes us back. We walk back to this room, and there's two gals on like a child's floaty.

and they are doing a webcam scene. And there's, I would think that maybe there's like a big crew. There's one fucking purve with a cam and then the girls with their webcam and no one else in this little room. There's no like crew. There's no boom guy. It's not, it's not, I was thinking big glamorous, boogie nights. No, dude. It's just fucking guy shooting, girls squirting and then a fucking Jew and a midget.

And we walk in and we stand there and I go, what do we do? And he goes, I don't know, just act supportive. I go. Supporting. Yeah, like what do you mean? Because he knew the girls. And so then at one point, the guy goes, he goes, you guys need anything, water, snacks. I'm like, I'm fine, man, just trying to figure out where I belong here.

And then, dude, like, without even batting and I, they both just like, ready, ready. And then they just both start squirting. And, like, the waters just kind of cross. Like, do you remember when the kid in Free Willy was, like, doing that? And the whale, like, jumped over him. Like, you know. So that's kind of what was happening and the water was like it felt like he was going over us

and I was like, whoa! Like Hollywood's crazy! And this webcam guy's doing this and Brad just starts clapping so then I start clapping because he was like, I don't know what to do it's either this to start joking off. Yeah, you need to like show them that you are encouraging. And then they finish and they stand up

and they both just give Brad the biggest hug while they're just like bug naked and they came up to me and I was like, yeah, and then I put my hand out at first because we can just do this, we just met, you know, you're covered in strong. squirt and and then uh and then we go out to the lobby and they're like you said like they just looked like they've been doing it a while man yeah and like the skin was and no judgment but like they just it just looked like and then they were complaining about the scene and one of them was

like scratching and itching and sniffing and she was like I can't do the next scene and the guy the host was like well it's Brian it's Brian he flew in for this and she was like I just like it burns down there and he was like you got to fucking do it And she was like, but it burns. And then he was like, just fucking wait. And then she's sitting down checking her email. And that's what really was like, threw me off. Because I was like, I just saw her squirt in unison.

And now she's just checking. She gets email. They are just like us. That story is brought to by Nate Bargotsie movie, The Breadwinner. It's available in theaters nationwide. Go see Nate and bring the family. Yeah, that's pretty. And then did she do the scene?

Did she do the next scene? we didn't stick I had to go I had a Motsin ball soup wait I truly bounced out I go the guy goes

you're going to leave it I go I got to pass over Saturday he goes everybody's got a stater Brad stayed oh yeah what are you kidding me

I got a support yeah that was just like the opening act he saw the feature in the headline do you feel like you could

you could do something with this this this backwood's here at Walmart parking lot

yeah for backwards Brenda Yeah. I'd come here to get some fishing worms. Yeah. I'm going to do a little muck bang. Mm-hmm.

Have a little snack. We're going to talk. They'll talk. Today's sponsors, Adam and Eve.com. Do you like to nut? Yeah. I sure to hell do.

And if you don't like the nut, maybe it's because you don't know how to nut. To nut. And Adam and Eve. com can help you with that. go check out their website. They got a sale going on right now. They might, I think, I do believe they even carry a manual that teaches you how to nut.

Does Adam and Eve actually just a higher regular people posting videos? Yeah, there is a wasted opportunity if they don't grab this gal ASAP. Out of the parking lot, they need to throw her into a van and take her right to the Adam and Eve headquarters. Free plug? I mean, she just was like, you not know how to nut? Do you know how to nut? Yeah. Do you want to?

Do you like to? Did they send you a pamphlet on how to nut? It's always, dude, not all heroes wear capes. Brenda. Brenda also. Why do the people, why do Brenda's always look like Brenda's? They absolutely always do look like Brenda. And a waffle.

She's wearing Waffle House merch. She's just a full on American flag covered seat in the car. And her story was, I'm in a Walmart parking lot. I'm picking up Fish and Wire. I'm going to do a mutt bang. She got a whole day plan. And then I got a day plan. nut. What do you think of it is? 7 a.m. 2?

Your guess is as good as my. I think she starts the day early. I think she wakes up. She's like... Fisher. Her husband, Darrell, like, where are you going? You're fucking fish. I go down and get the fish on my arm. I'm trying to get a nut in the parking lot. Make a little video. You're always on your goddamn tip-talk. You ain't got some more than but six followers. Adam and A man going to send you free products. Maybe that, maybe that was the thinking. Like when you hear, oh, people get sent free shit? She's like, well, fuck. Also, I think she... I think, I would like to assume that she...

she does have a non-supportive husband, and that's what, like, pushed her. Like, this is her rags and rich a story. He's like, you think you're going to go on TikTok and be doing those streaming streamers? You don't even look like one of those hot-ass only fans' miles. You got some fucking weird-ass. American flag cover on your seat.

You got that fucking Waffle House hat that you stole from the Waffle House. They're going to find out and take us both to deal because I was they eating with you, too. And now you're out here driving at Walmart. We don't have enough money to buy anything at Walmart, let alone fishing while. I don't even have a fishing boat. You're going to go down a fist where you're going to stand on the creek

and put your pole in the water. We don't, we can't, I do, I'm allergic to fish. We're going to bring it home and just stare at it and raise it. You're going to raise the fish and teach it to talk. We can't eat the motherfucker. Well, guess what? I'm going to go down there and bust the nut. You can stay here and act all how you're going to act,

but I'm going to go teach people how to nut. You got a nut in the park a lot? You got a nut in the park a lot. And then cut to, I mean, man, she needs to start doing the, the kill Tony Milo and just posting videos. She could probably, she could fucking definitely get. If she got a bucket pool, oh my God. Ignorance is bliss.

She doesn't even know how funny she is too. That's what's brilliant about this. She doesn't. How many? No, it's all door of the It's a lot of crisis that can't parer to your life. Oh, God.

A inschaqueca is a condition Neurologic, Sensor, insensibility to the loose and, as many, nor incapacitant. Gatilus like stress, alimentation,

son irregular can desincadear crises. But with a is possible reduce frequency. Okay, so I know that that was not English. That was my high school year, but quote. That is a... Is it Brazilian?

It's Portuguese. She is in Portugal, actually. But what was crazy is that this came up on the feed and you're like, okay, I don't speak Portuguese. But she has a specific look to her. And the viewers took note. just interesting when the comments get, well, we like roasts. Love them. The comment, okay, yeah. Oh, impressive. She's fluent in both Portuguese and

beluga whale. Well, she has a notable... The forehead is what stands out. It's, it does. Her eyes, they picked her to talk about headaches. That was a deliberate... Because she's talking about pain. Oh, wow. She's a pain specialist. Wow. So these are Portuguese haters or trolls. Yeah, I think it's actually English speakers who have no idea what she's saying. They just saw her and they're like, I'm a fucking shit on this person. Dude, that is one thing. Her dreams look like an IMAX theater. Anyone else see Chaco from Land of the Lost?

Oh, my. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. This guy so far is leading the pack. Yep. Guys are relaxed. She's got a lot on her mind. Classic.

Wow, Bazie Hassan. Basie. Basie coming in hot. She can remember what happened tomorrow. That's pretty great. Dude, see, now this is the type of stuff that should be celebrated. Like this is where razzin and roasting is like, this is what it is what it is. And you would hope that she reads that and doesn't feel.

Also, sometimes, dude, I read these comments and you're like, this is funnier than anything I've heard of professional. 1,000% comic say. She can remember what happened tomorrow. That's brilliant. That's so good. It's so funny. Yeah.

And it's Puerto Rican dot Hulk smash. Yeah. I mean, so basically AI wrote that, but still, who says that can't be funny? A sniper's dream. That's incredibly, that's so on point. Josh Childs, that's a real guy. Yeah, that's on point. That's really clever.

Oh, my God. That'd be like, if you were on the dais and you were doing a roast and the person had a huge head, you saying, like, a sniper's dream is such a clever. So funny. And you're not saying you want, and this is where I think people, and sorry to go back to it, but like then make a meal out of something. Yeah. They're not saying you should show.

shoot that bitch in the forehead. No. No. It, it, you're saying. Adam, everybody, as many, as many, people like to say, a sniper's dream with a head like, like, you know, like, throwing it in there. And I guess it does help. Yeah, like you should, yeah, fill it in with the words to really,

you know, hit it over. Built with the forehead of a sniper's dream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, uh, they were, Jeff Ross was trying to get me on this last roast as Dr. Phil, which I thought would have been awesome. I would like to, I've only ever done one roast, Jelly Roll had some surprise birthday roast that Tony and Bert and Whitney

and I went down and did it in Nashville at Zanis and that was the only one I've ever done is myself and it was a lot of fun but I'm like man I'm just so comfy with other stuff on when I'm on KT roasting or doing whatever to where I'm like oh man I would have like you could not have put a joke

if I was as Dr. Ville you couldn't have put a joke in front me that I wouldn't have said yeah which well that's the thing is that it gives you a longer right like more comfort to go anywhere. I think it tweets his own.

I feel, yeah, like there is a weird, like that's why, you know, I hadn't hung out with you and Bert like that yet. So it made me, if I had gone out as myself, I definitely wouldn't have been as comfy because I would have been just more in my head. Yeah. Because, and it's not like I'm hiding behind it.

It's still me. Yeah, of course. It's still my like filter and whatever I'm doing. But I just did feel like I could, uh, I don't know, just just, yeah, I guess hide a little bit behind it.

or shoot from the hip a little bit more aggressively because I'm somebody that's known for maybe doing that. And you guys are, I think, expecting that more so. Whereas if I come in and it's our first time hanging and I'm saying some wild shit. Okay. Hold on. Let me see here.

I got some. There we go. All right. This is horrible or hilarious. Oh, great. So we just show it to you and you tell me how you react. I get to decide. You decide.

Exactly. But he better not He better not do what they just did But he's trying to get him and Jay That's why he doing that shit What's he doing? Oh He just did shit

Oh Oh Oh Oh God Damn, dude Yeah I just thought he just fell That's

Jesus Yeah that's Man the booth is getting dark That has you just threw that in there Fuck man I mean, that's obviously horrible. Horrible. That was horrible.

I mean, the fall is hilarious. The fall was America's funniest own videos-esque, but then you zoom in and, yeah, that's a... He's in real pain. That part's funny, but what we're seeing, Jesus Christ. And then his buddy's trying to help him up, and he's like, well, I'm fucking gay.

I can get up on my own. Don't fucking pick me up. Pick me up, dude. Yeah, that's horrible. Jesus, Christ. I mean, that's like, that's the wrist version of your foot. Yeah, that's fucking, oh, my God. Jesus, dude.

I can already tell us it's going to be hilarious. This is going to be good. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. That for sure broke his toe. He's like, oh, fuck, man. That's definitely going to fall again.

That's definitely going to fall again. That's the whole thing. Oh, oh. Oh, yes. Great call, dude. That's a classic. That's very good. Where is he?

Just like a pep. boys just waiting for his car. We essentially just watched, what's it called? Like the three stooges. A thousand percent. That's it. Yeah. Hit him in the foot.

Put it back. Distract them. Yeah. And then hit him again. Yeah. Definitely hilarious. Put it in the classic folder. We're never, this, one thing I do love about this country, we'll never be too good for

nut shots, head shots, foot jobs. Farts. It's just never, well, just getting smacked off by a soft pair of souls. Yeah. The, the, I once said, like there was, I was, I was in an elevator somewhere in the valley and a fat kid was in there with his dad and ripped the biggest fart. And I just started crying, laughing. I don't know if you've ever gone from zero to 60 with a laugh to where you're not even

expecting to laugh. Yeah. Because it's just, you're keeping yourself. I literally, and usually it's like a slow build and a crescendo of like laughing so hard that you cry. I started crying and then. started laughing. Yeah. Because it was so funny. Did he laugh? Oh yeah, the kid was losing his mind because he saw me laughing. And it was, I wish I still kept in touch with a kid to let him know how

much joy brings me to think about this. Yeah. But because what put it over the top is he walked in and he was already an adorable little fat kid like his hair. How old are we talking? 9, 10. Okay. Prime age to fart in public and have it be funny. And his hair is like, you know, underneath his hat and his jacket It didn't fit. He looked like Chris Farley meets Roseanne. And he just like, weebled, wobbled in. And his dad was just like, you know, on his phone. And we're just staying there.

And it probably couldn't have been longer than like three seconds and just and then it just dragged on for a while. And I just started laughing. And then when I looked down, he was looking up at me going, like with this face of like, you're welcome. Like, like, wasn't that crazy? Oh, it's so funny. That's great.

And I was like, dude, if I get to a point in my life where I don't find farts funny, like, I just, that's a rap, man. You can take me out. Yeah, farts are always funny, man. Take the sniper that's going to work on the forehead gal and just put him in my direction. If you find no humor in a fart, especially a real life, it's one thing if you're like, I get it. Like, if you are not amused by like the entertainment fart.

Yes. But if you're like in life can't find any humor in a fart, you've lost it, man. Devil's Advocate, if you're on a plane. That can be very upset. But that's just the smash. hitting you. Totally, yeah. Well, I think that's sound versus smell. That's what we're talking about. That's exactly right. It can be rude as shit.

Someone just keeps pounding farts in the Do you speak up? I have not like called out people, but I've done the whole like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's what I've done that. Yeah. Which also takes a lot. Yeah. Because, you know, that's basically... I know a guy just did it

like as he was sitting down next to me like a few weeks ago where like he turned and sat and then like wapped and I go, oh my fucking God, like that. So I wanted him to know that I'm like, if it's not you, it's someone right here, bro. Right, right.

Yeah, it's not as rude as shit. Oh, boy. Foreign carnivals are all, oh, fuck. Do you see it? No, I look down. Sorry, we hit me that one more time. Watch this guy. Holy, that guy right there that works there.

Oh. Did it knock him out? I mean, pretty. pretty close. Yeah. Holy. Dear God. On the side of the dome.

Where is this? That's Phoenix. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Dude, that, yeah, you're right. Foreign Carnivals. It's always. That ride doesn't.

It's a lane on Instagram. You start looking at foreign carnival. Bro, and it's always disastrous. Because you're saying this is the kid that works the machine? He works it. You can tell. He's like, he's like, he's done this 55,000 times. Yeah, he's just like,

he works see he's like looks like he's working there oh if he's not working there he was like waiting to get on I guess I don't know

but that was horrendous how about this one that was really really fucked up by the way guys oh this is gonna be bad this is gonna be bad

if you're getting thrown off so oh he's not the same ever ever ever again that's a back wrap oh he's

Yep, that's forever different. Dude, that reminds me. John Knoxville almost died from getting kicked out. Do you ever see that clip? Yes. From the movie where he like, that's, I mean, they've done some crazy shit, but that was, when I saw that, I was like, why is anyone ever getting on a, what is this, pony horse? Yeah, or the bull riding.

I've seen, by the way, full thrashing deaths. And they're like, what? Yeah, dude. It's so. On an e-bombs world or what? No, no, on Instagram. Jesus. Instagram has straight up murders.

too, you know. What? Yeah, you didn't know that? No. I'll change your algorithm. No. I know. My algorithms right now. Is it nice? Do you have a nice one? Well, we're, my wife, I guess I can say this now. She's nine weeks pregnant. So, hey, congratulations. Thank you, brother. Congratulations. That's fucking awesome. What if nobody clapped? It was actually one. Yeah, I did here. It was pretty. This is your six kids? Cluster. Uh, first that I know of. Okay. Great. Great. Um, yeah, first, uh, so it's all baby stuff right now. It's fucking awesome. Yeah. I'm pumped. You don't want me to send you videos.

No, because right now it's like... Well, it might be a nice balance to be like, look at this baby shit. And then you're like, look this guy that fucking thrashed by a boy. Dude, this is interesting. It says the guy's fine because he wasn't injured because of the mud, like the soft tissue. Kind of sever the fall, huh? Yeah, because if it's a hard ground... Soft in the fall, yeah.

And you have 2,000 pounds land on you, but he just kind of went into the mud. I don't know if that's true. Sometimes these guys make shit up. Well, thank God it's not the guy in Washington State who was doing this, who died from fucking the horse. Remember that guy? Mr. Hans, Mr. Hans, yeah. That was his name?

Well, that was the video. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, Mr. Hans. It was an Enum Claw, Washington. Yeah. Okay, great. Yeah. I can't believe I would assume you didn't know that story.

So for people that don't know the famous story, this guy and his circle of friends like to have, like to be penetrated by horses. Sure. He had done it. We all have our obvious. Everyone has a kink. Everyone's got a kink. He had done it several times with a horse that was not there.

There's Kenneth Mr. Hanz's opinion. The horse that he was used to doing this with was not there. So there's a video that you can see it happening with. That's not the horse that killed him. So this is like in Grizzly Man. Do you ever see that documentary? Yes, exactly. Remember he was like friends with all the bears and the bear that killed him and his girlfriend

was a bear that they hadn't met yet? This is exactly the same thing. So if you've seen the famous video, which is horrific to hear the sounds in that video, the sounds. The Grizzly Man. No, no, no, this. There's video of this? Yes.

Not of his death, but of him doing it with another horse. No! Yes. And the sounds he makes are, I've never heard a human being make a similar sound. Because he's getting penetrated by the horse. Exactly. So...

You can't penetrate a horse, right? You can try, but it's a lot easier for the horse to do it. So the video that exists... By the way, to the bride and groom, this is a weirdest wedding speech ever. You can try to fuck a horse. By the way, congrats on the pregnancy. Oh, thank you. So the video is absolutely horrific, okay?

And like I said, sounds you've never heard before. Is there any sort of pleasure being derived or is it sound like all like this guy's getting off on the pain and the cheerhole? I don't think you can tell that he's enjoying this. It sounds like someone's being tortured. Oh, God. But he loved it. So he goes back and he wants to do this again. this is what he's into.

The horse that he is accustomed to doing this with is not there. Racing? I don't know where he's at out. Met someone else. On a date or something. There's another horse in the stable that he's not familiar with. But he's got a fix he needs. And the horse's nickname is Big Dick.

No joke. Stop. I swear to you. Pull it up on Wikipedia. I'm sure you can see it or Google it. That horse... And if Big Dick wasn't there, human killer was right next to him. Human killer was right next to him.

That horse penetrates him, perforates his colon, and he dies shortly thereafter. Yeah. Yeah. But, great guy. Kenneth was a great guy. You know, that was, by the way, like, this was not,

Beastiality wasn't, I was just talking about this with a buddy that Beastiality in Seattle. Yeah, Class C, yeah. Then it was, after Washington State made Beastiality, a Class C felon, and he punishable, by up to five years. behind bars after this. And since there was no events

and the men, it was only charged the scandal of socialists, Washington State made it a classy felony. Because of this. Which means prior to this. It was legal. Hey man.

I know. Do you. Do you. Which means there's a group of guys at a bar shortly after that they were just like, you hear about fucking tinian? Ruin the fun for us.

Now what are we supposed to do on Tuesdays? I used to do a joke about this that because, like, they made it illegal because of this, that I would no longer tour in Washington

until it could. came like you have to stand up for something you know oh my god because like they just did it for him you know and it's like what about the rest of us that aren't fucking crossing the line yeah yeah dying we're just having our fun he's like the kid that got the cops uh called on the party and ruined the fun for everyone else and it's like oh none of us can fucking we can't party just because he got fucked a little too hard a little hard pick the wrong guy he um yeah he really big dick this is like a it's crazy A joke story.

I know. It's really, really crazy. And think about, like, having to tell... Because he had a family, right? I don't remember if he had a family. I know he had a wife. Did he? I'm almost positive.

I thought his mother was still alive. So somebody, though, had to... Authorities came to some family member's house and were like, are you Kenneth Pinyon's significant other mother? Yes. Something happened? What's going on? Is he in an accident?

I'm just time to get some fishing where I have a nut. What's going on with Kenneth? Well, you're going to need to sit down, Brenda, because something's happened to him. It involved one of the horses. Oh, my God, did he lose a race? Not exactly. He hasn't been racing horses.

Well, what, the window? Did he get thrown from a horse? Kind of. Ever heard of the word perforated? Uh-uh. Well, his colonel looks like a Snickers bar. Oh, my God. What's it here?

There is a Boeing. Previously married to a woman and had children with her, which means there are young kids. opinions out there living with this cloud. What happened to your dad? Yeah, that's the story. Oh, you're shifting, you're, I don't know what you're saying happened to your dad, but it's not this.

Yeah, you don't tell the story. And do you change your name? Because are you the, yeah, for sure. Or do, or, or. My family changed the laws in this state. Totally. And do all your friends call you big dick? And like, kind of like, you know, poke fun, take a little like.

And then like a woman sees that, she goes, why do they call you big? You have like a total normal dick. Oh, no. You're like, well, it's about my dad. What, your dad had a big dick? Not exactly. Can I just finish, please? Yeah.

Let me get it one goddamn. God, you are so... You like horses? No. Yeah, that's an uncomfortable conversation. Oak Harbor, too. Yeah, it's always in Gig Harbor. I was in a free throw competition

in the fifth grade in Gig Harbor. Oh, look, you and Kenneth may have crossed past it so far. Oh, we probably did. Holy shit. Oh, God. Um, wait, one more for you. It's a small world. All right, please.

Look this guy. Just taking sparks to the face, bro. What the fuck? You know how you thought you were a man when you walked in here today? You're not. I know, dude. Nobody here is. How, what do you have to do prior to this to be able to just withstand?

Like they always wear a shield. Yeah, no, not this guy. He's like, those are fucking gay. Don't hold the door open for me. I don't care if sparks taking my face out. Do you think somebody dared him? You're going to wear your fucking shield again today, Matt? No.

Well, if the sparks just take charge. Take out my fucking face. Jesus. Maybe you just do this job so much that, I mean, I don't know. He obviously hasn't even flinched or looked up, so maybe he's just like waiting for those things just to like slowly melt his existence. Dude, I wanted to ask you, like this to me,

what you described as your name. new show coming out. Yeah. Is such a no-brainer. Oh, thanks. I mean, it's like you've been killing it with these, with these characters for, how long has this been now? Like, it feels like it's.

Well, I've been doing stand-up almost 20 years, but the, 07s, like 20 years, but then, but the character stuff, I'd say, shit, man, I don't know, probably, I mean, even in college, I was like, I, you know, I mean, shit, I went on the show blind date twice, uh, with wigs. There might be a clip of one of them on YouTube, I think. But I went on, me, my Stoner acting school roommates were sitting around and we were watching it and they were like, man, you should try to get on this. So I went to this wig shop.

I applied and got on and I went to, oh shit, yeah, that's a fucking, yeah, this, yeah, and so they, the, oh my God, blind date disaster. Jesus Christ, they put me in the disasters. So that chick, so that's a, I bought that at City Walk when I was working at Universal. It's like one of those bucket hats with the hair. And this girl was from Chico State. And she got so, I was like this stonery guy. And she, the producers gave her scissors and she tried to cut my hair.

And she wanted to, they had us drink Manashev, it's wine and had me give her a Hebrew lesson in the park. Just really leaning into it. Did you go to Splash? You're a Jew, right? I was like, all right. Did you go to Splash, the Relaxation Spa? That sounds familiar. Like a place with hot tubs?

We might have, yeah. Yeah, I worked there. Wait, we did at the very end, I think. I worked there for a week. Did you really? When I first got to L. It was a fuck tub. It was a fuck tub.

Yeah. And I got to L.A. And I was like, I need to get some job. And I saw spa. So I was like, oh, I'd work at a spa. You know, you're thinking like a nice. Sure. And I go there and the guy is like he's, he was a tall guy older white hair.

Who's the owner of fucktubs? Yeah, he's, but he's like a, you would never suspect. Like a white beard, white horseshoe, you know, like older. So he makes popcorn. Looks like he makes popcorn. He hangs out. He mentioned he'd gone to the Playboy Mansion a bunch. I was like, cool.

And he takes us through training. That's a great opening. Me and my friend go there together. Chuck and I go there. And we're like, we're putting it together as this is, as he's training. He's like, you come in here. And he tells us like, you put these things in the hot tub.

All right. This first, then this. Talking us like, we're kids. Clean up. You clean up the fucking. It's a well-oiled machine. You create the condoms. And they're like, what?

It's like people. It's off the plugs. Oh, the big thing was you never take a party to their room unless both parties are pre- so people will come and be like, I want to go in that room. And like, is the other person here? No, you have to wait here in the lobby. It's like a restaurant. Because then it's about the booking of the time.

So like if they go in there and the other person's not there yet, they might be like, yeah, but he wasn't here yet or she wasn't here yet. Oh. So you'd like make sure that everybody is at a lot of rules it fucked up. A lot of rules. Splash it was called. Splash the relaxation spot. I love that.

There it is. Is it still around? Wow. It's almost like a, it closed. Okay. Yeah. No, it didn't. That place was around for you.

And they filmed Blind Date there. It looks very, yeah, looks like the mansion grotto, right, that they used to have. Yeah. And it was like the Barcelona room. Yes. It's like, so we actually went to a,

I think we went to like a motel six hot tub. And we were, my whole thing was, I wanted, we didn't make it there. She got too fucked up and they had to take her home. Wow. Because, uh,

they would shove booze in you guys, right? We drank so much. We did triple shots at tequila. And then, uh, we actually, uh, I was featured on E's 101 bad dating moments because at one point we went to a bar and she just like her feet,

you know, goofied out from under her and she fucking luny tune spilled and hit the deck hard. Like that guy with the bull. And I just stood there and went, whoa. Whoa. And like, I got blown up in the comments, dude,

being like this piece of shit, because I just go, uh-oh, like, that looked bad. You might have brain. And then we get to the end. And my whole thing was just to have a goof on this. I brought like a Batman suit. Because in my head, I was like,

we're going to get to the hot tub. And I'm like, we'll be sitting in a hot tub and it'll be a wide shot of her and me and a Batman suit sitting in the hot tub. And then they'll cut to a close-up and I'll be sitting there with my drink. and I'll go, they said bring a bathing suit. I heard Batman's suit.

Yeah, this was, I mean, I was very funny. It was 2004. And so she was too fucked up to get there. And they kicked her out. So I went back and I went to his wig shop on La Sienaiga and I had this long like Antonio Bandera's wig in a ponytail and a little bit more scruff. And they had a limo pick you up.

Yeah. Right? I mean, it was blind date was like, you know, this is Roger Lodge. It was a hot show, dude. show yeah the thought bubbles people were pretty much fucking on the show yeah and i mean they were going to fuck tubs and they sure were they were everything was on the table and this guy picks me up and i'm like in this is again i think junior college because at one point uh one of my roommates was like dude you should just go in character on every dating show that's such a good idea and i was like kind of into it at a point

and again all of this stems from trying to make my friends laugh yeah and that's like i and that's been the driving force for anything I'm trying to do. And so, uh, so I get in the limo and the guy goes, how you doing, man? I go, oh, you know, just trying to meet the love of my life, you know? And I'm just immediately he looks at the rear of me, like, who did I just pick up? And I got these sunglasses on and this, and this wig. And I go, it's tough out there, man, it's tough, man. You got all sorts of women. You got fat women, you know, big black women. I go, but I just, I like that fat fucking ass, man. And he goes, yeah, yeah, well, there's something out there for everybody, you know? And then they dropped me off. And the producer was the same producer that did this episode.

And I walk out in full, I again, gone to a wig shop at 8.30 in the morning because they pick you up at like 10 to have it like fit it. I paid an extra 100 bucks for them to like put it on, the wig cap and everything so I could like really, you know, try to pull this off. And I walk up and the guy's on the phone and he just looks over and goes, oh Jesus. Yeah. No, it's Adam, the wig guy. Yeah, no, he's doing it again. He's doing it again. So they're already like.

They're no. Yeah. And I walk up and he goes, he puts phone. He goes, what are you doing, man? I go, I go, what? He goes, what the fuck? What is this? I go, he goes, you're not trying to find love?

I go, dude, I'm trying to meet somebody. Look, if they like me for this guy, then they're going to, I know they're going to like me for who's underneath. He goes, what the fuck are you talking about, man? And he goes, he goes, take it off. You're not doing this. And I go, come on, man, I'm just trying to have a goof. He goes, dude, we're not doing a goof. We're trying to make a show here.

He goes, you got to take that shit off. I'm sorry. Either you're taking that off or we're not shooting today. And I was like, I still can be funny. And then I go, all right, I go, all right. And then I take it off and I go, well, can I, can I drink? And there's like 10 a.m. And he goes, yeah.

He goes, the other girls didn't drink, though. I go, perfect. I'm getting hammered. So I just got hammered. And she was a total prude. And like, it just became a thing of like, you know, we were in the car and the drive out. And she like at one point was like, it had to be a disaster date, right? It was awful.

She called me out for. And one point I was just fucking with her. She was like, what do you want to do? I go, I want to open like a chef boy already like 24 hour like restaurant. And she was like, what? I go, you've never had beefaroni? She goes, no. I go, missing out.

I mean, I was just, and then, you know, it was, it was bad. But, but yeah, so I mean, the character stuff has been since then, and the last couple of years, I guess it's been a nice bump. But also it's, you know, and it's... But as you're, I'm saying, as somebody, like, watching you ascend and do all these characters and people, you kind of go like, yeah, these are, there's another thing here. And you think of, like, the natural thing is to think of, like,

shows and things like that. Do we have a sizzle? Did you say the sizzle? Yeah, yeah. Can you just pull it up? I sent you a little... The Adam Ray Show. So this is one of the characters.

So yeah, it's me or the characters interviewing all sorts of people. Musicians. So exciting. I don't like my nick. But also, I'd start... Did you say I don't like my dick? My neck.

Oh, my neck. I'm a fan. Oh, my neck. But I'm also not a fan of my dick. I'm a fan of my dick. But I thought... Your dick's fan. I'm talking about you said this whole I'm interviewing you but we're talking about my penis right now

I would look I was surprised I would said my dick it's not perfect it's not even because it goes it's kind of like a are you talking about your penis or your neck now I'm talking about my penis okay why are we shouting oh you got a Fitbit I have a aura yeah I think that's for women to get pregnant what do you what are you talking about oh no that's definitely no Emily do you know Hitler's last name let's do this Yes. What is it? That. Okay.

That. All right. And what is his first name? Six more weeks of work. Great. Let's take a stab. Wouldn't it be great if the Pope was like my favorite song, but again I don't do voices, but if the Pope was like, my favorite song is Every Morning by Sugar Ray.

I think you're talking about, every morning there's a halo hanging on the corner of my girlfriend's propone's bed. Hollivis have a late for shade of fruit. To this end is an upsetting. I'm saying. Can do it for a weekend or a one-night stand. Couldn't understand. Got it.

Let's slide on the ghost thing. They got all kind of their periods, they're attached to the moon, they're all over the place. The crystals don't help. Crystles, yes, yes. Bertries and retro Gatorade, I don't know. A song that you like to bangarang to. Sure.

I'll go first. Hanson Zumbop, Beyonce single ladies, Creed's One Last Breath. Nice. How about Wandering Stars? during stars by Portishead. That's a nice look. Yeah, she'll appreciate it.

She sure will. What the koalas do. They all get familiar. They do. Know that when you go to Australia. All the koalas have to . Yeah, no, I get it. I hear ya.

Yeah, but I don't, yeah, because I guess you can't transfer it the other way. That's the room, though. That is the room they did, We Are the World. Joe McElchale was really fun. They were all fun. And I thought, I thought it would be around longer. Oh, Joel.

Nothing lasts forever. What a transition. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? I love the NBNNNNBC theme song. B'nanna na na na na na na na na na na na na. So, anyway. What? You know what I was saying?

Yeah. No. Oh, your debut. Oh. Yeah. You didn't remember. I thought you were setting up a bit. I said this.

I said this. See, that's what a geriatric experience is. Yeah. Bro. Yeah, be silly. Congratulations. Thanks, brother. Yeah.

That is... I mean, it's one of many things I want to be doing, but it's a fun. Just getting to be on the platform in a way that's, I'm getting to, you know, control what I want to do is cool. And it's out June 19th. Will the episodes all drop it once? I'm but they'll drop a few at the beginning and then it'll be weekly. That's so fucking great. Because I think I'm trying to...

Dropping a few out of the gate feels like the move. just to show the diversity of it all. And also there's just so much shit. So it's like to just drop one thing and have, and since the show is more, it's not just, I want to show right out of the gate that there's like variety so that people maybe have a reason to come back

and not just see one. Like if you just posted one of those, you would have no idea that there's other stuff. That's true. When you, I want to ask you this, when you do, because obviously like everyone knew Phil and the reference, and then you started to break into like other characters.

Yeah, yeah. When you debut a new one, Do you, when you're starting one, is there tremendous anxiety? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm here right now because I'm doing, I did one bucket pull of this guy, Randolph Davies. I don't know if you've seen this. You can find it on somewhere on Instagram,

but on my IG maybe or YouTube. But if you're typing Randolph Davies, like sex stories maybe, like, wait, let me, right, wait, do one of the shorts. So I did this, Tony, they were doing two. they were doing two kill Tony's in a night and Tony was like, do you want to come back and do another character? And I was like, yeah, but I didn't have a lot on me.

My makeup gal didn't bring other prosthetics. She's like, I could do a goatee. So I went to the store and got this cowboy hat. She got the wig. And I late night at the comedy store, when Jeff Scott was there, RIP, and would play us up and down, if I was up at like 1245 or 1 a.m.,

I was like, I can't do more jokes at this point. The people that are there have seen everything. And there's usually only eight people there. So I had this long-haired wig and this shitty goatee and this cowboy hat. So I was like, I'll go up there with Jeff and pretend to be this guy from the road and we'll just fuck around, do some songs. He would kind of just accompany me. I'd tell stories from the road. And it was just a fun way to like use the stage for something creative and also, you know, I would sometimes work out jokes from me through the guy just to kind of like fuck around. So I was like, all right, I have a

version of a guy I could do. And Tony's like, are you going to come over or what? We've got to start the show. And I was like, all right, I think I'm going to come over. This looks okay. and he's like, what's the guy's name if you do come? Because I wasn't totally say yet. And I go, his name's Randolph Davies. So Tony didn't even know what I was going to do. Darno Rawlings. And he'll just introduce you as Randolph.

So he gets the call that I'm coming over. And then he pulls me out of the bucket. Donno Rawlings didn't know this was me until after the show. And a lot of people after. So in my head, I was like, all right, I'll do this old school weathered guy. All I know is his name. He's 55. He was a Rodee for the Counting Crows for 30 years.

And then I'll just kind of shoot from the hip. And this character, people, loved it so much that I was like, oh, I should do a full, like, VH1 Storytellers concert with this guy. So I put two shows on sale at the Mothership that are this Thursday, sold out about two days, and then I got with the Kill Tony Band. I wrote about 10 songs, and I came here early to, like, rehearse. So we're doing first time, just going to do it twice, where I'm going to do like, you

know, I mean, the whole show is, you know, there's stories and there's songs and there's fake sponsors and there's, you know, it's creating the show from the ground up, which is fun. But yeah, dude, full of anxiety. Amazing. We went to late night. We went to this bar called, I think, C-Boys or something. And the band was playing a gig. And Carlos and John Dees just were like,

just come, let's work out some of the songs. So I went and we worked out like four of the songs just to kind of do it in front of a crowd so that we're not doing it. The whole show will be like any Phil show. You prep, you get it set. And then it takes it. And then you just do it live once and you go,

let's just let it rip. And I kind of like that. Let's see this. Yeah. Pregnant girls, I've fucked. I fucked a girl with, you know, oh man, she had cervical cancer for about a month. What was that like? Can you describe that?

The sex was unbelievable. Because she thought it was, you know, she thought this was a rap, you know. So we got to do everything, you know. She beat it. He beat it. Shout out to Jill. Wow. Absolutely incredible.

And the pregnant women, you said women, plural Randolph Davies. I did, didn't I? Yeah, you did. What's that like? I've never been with a pregnant woman. Is there something that you've noticed that's different than a pregnant woman than a woman that isn't pregnant?

I mean, look, that's, you know, that's like asking someone to explain the plot of Indiana Jones in the last crusade. You know what I'm saying? You want to know, but you don't have time. That's fucking fantastic. So I did a whole, like, I mean, the whole set, some stories, whatever, and people,

so then I was just like, I don't know. Again, it's how the filthing started. It was just like, you know, I wanted to do a live character show and... This reminds me of, what was her name on HBO? Oh, Tracy O'Mon. Man. Yeah.

She was fucking amazing. Unreal. Unreal. That's so great. It's just a little, I mean, and, you know, I'm... There's nothing better than also showing something, like, tricking someone who knows you. Oh, totally. I showed my sister before it came out, before Bad Thoughts season two came out.

I was over and I was like, oh, watch this one. And she's watching, and I'm a woman. with cornrows, like braids. And she's like watching it for like two minutes, like into it. Patricia. On real makeup job, too. And she just goes, wait, is that you? And I go, yeah, she's like, Jesus.

I'm like, she's watching me for like a few minutes. Wow. It's my sibling. Yeah, there. That's that one. But that's so fun to like, you be like, oh, I really trick this. Yeah, it's the coolest. And it's just another little like, I don't know, man.

I'm always, you know, obviously there's plenty of challenges in stand-up and, which I'm still, you know, it's funny when people are like, oh, so you just do the character stuff and I was like, no, I'm doing stand-up all the time. I'm on the, it's my first theater tour started this year and, and it's all on sale, Adamraycombe. Going to Australia for the first time to do 12 sold-out shows, we're going to do three fills down there because we're down there and they love American comedy and like, I have to. And then, but my theater tours all the way through the fall and then, I'll be a lot. shoot special in October and

so yeah but this the character stuff is just like I don't know I've never been able it's probably ADHD or HPB but I'm always like I just can't do like one thing thing yeah and I mean look we're all like a Jew you're about to do fucking 19 things with Fox it's like doing a bunch of things is

not required in our business but like you know again for me personally it's the excitement and like I'm like what am I what boxes my checking like the fun factor like am I challenging myself like the nerves that I have felt going into this and putting it together like even talking my wife last night I was just like it's just fucking ambitious like I'm not uh you know yeah I can sing

well enough but like to do a fucking show and we're trying to make the songs I mean the kill Tony band they are fucking at the top of their game they're amazing so some of these songs are fucking wild and I sang about 10 into my phone and with these melodies and then they've made them even better and like they're all into it because it's something cool and different for them and And they're like, exciting for that. Dude, and Coloss was like, dude,

I talked to Zach Brown and I was like, I was telling jelly that we're gonna open for him next year. And so getting it, just the idea of like having it be fun and trying something that could, you know at a certain point too.

Like, I know it's not gonna bomb. Like, because I just know I have enough confidence to be able to, and I'm setting up enough bits throughout the show to, to have it be fun.

But like, yeah, like, what a cool thing if it does become cool and then we run it back and then we like make the songs even better. and then like fucking jelly rolls like yeah come do some fucking stadium dates like what a funny like like that's just like i don't know well look dude well deserved all your success congratulations on it seriously i just love seeing someone just work hard and get good things it's awesome the man

i want check out the jackass movie june 26 i'm about four bits in that nothing went up my ass but but i but i was around a lot of stuff for people that did we're all going to check that out and check out adam rachel june 19th on netflix thanks baby uh thanks again for coming in i love you we'll see you guys love you too next week. Bye-bye. All I'm saying is, why is it gay for a female,

well, for a man to be okay with his female licking his ass during sex? Shit. Fuck what you heard, bitch. Fuck what you heard me.

I'm an ass me. Fuck what you heard me. Fuck what you heard me. I'm an ass me. Fuck what you heard me. Fuck what you heard me. Fuck what you heard me. I'm a ass me.

Fuck what you heard me. Fuck what you heard me. I'm going to ask me. If my nipper would let me lick his ass, I would leave the shit out of his ass and say this shit gave it. And you got to be honest, fellas. It feel good to hear your... Yeah.

Would you wax it? Yeah. Yeah. You promise? I get to lick your eyes. ass.