Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - No Bull w/ Johnny Pemberton | Your Mom's House Ep. 763

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

SPONSORS: - Visit https://coorslight.com/summermusic to see how Coors Light can amplify your summer. - Download DoorDash and use code YMH24 to get 25% off up to $15 value when you spend $35 or more on drinks through DoorDash. For eligible users only. Terms apply. Must be 21+ to order alcohol. Drink responsibly. Delivery and promotions available only in select markets. - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM Pull your jeans all the way up over your head because Tom Segura and Christina P are back for another week of Your Mom's House Podcast! We start off with a really cool opening clip of a vintage smut film featuring a very forward bus driver. Christina continues her investigations into Tom's digestive deviations and they read some follow up emails regarding a past clip of an Indian military ball bag exam and adults who eat boogers. Tom also gets a special shoutout from his neighbor Ted Cruz. Johnny Pemberton joins the Main Mommies fresh off the hype from his role in Amazon's adaptation of "Fallout". Tom, Christina, and Johnny discuss Pasadena, leaving notes on people's cars, HOA's, Disney adults, shits & giggles, and sharp minds. They also check out some horrible or hilarious clips, some TikToks curated by Christina, and an update from a guy who crashed his flying machine. I love you. https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinaponline.com/tour-dates https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Your Mom’s House Ep. 763 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up guys, the store is full of some hot new fresh products. Go to store.ymhstudios.com to see what we've got. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. This is a paid advertisement from BetterHelp. As a podcast listener, you've heard from us before. Today? Let's hear what members have told us. One member said, I would recommend my therapist 1,000 times over. She has truly changed my life.

Another member said, the day after my first session, my friends and family said I sounded like myself again for the first time in weeks. You deserve to invest in your well-being. Visit BetterHelp.com to see what it can do for you. That's betterHELP.com. Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. We have an action-packed, fun-filled, information-filled funny episode for you today. Amazing, yeah some real important updates and Yeah, bunch of stuff going on. I think to start Do you want to do your dates? I would love to do my dates Tom. Okay. Thank you so much

I I am NOT coming everywhere like you. Yes, then I do select cities. I start with Orlando, Florida. Fartnicks, Arizona. September 21st and then Raleigh, North Carolina. September 27th and 28th. Yeah. The Lincoln Theater in Washington, Dick Kuhm. Ha ha ha! In October, Boston Massive, Huge Tits, The Wilbur October 26. Ha ha ha! Dania Beach. Mm-hmm. Whoa, Jesus Christ!

And then Phallus, Texas in November. Christina P. Oh, God! Online.com, thank you so much. Awesome. That was really nice. Yeah. What's going on?

I'm going to be in some, I'm going to Canada for a bunch of dates, but let me see, I'm gonna pull this up. I got some Canadian dates coming up. Let's see, I'm gonna be in, well, Verona, New York. I guess that's sold out. Banger, Maine, June 15th. Winnipeg, that's what I was saying. Winnipeg.

London, Ontario, Canada. Asheville, North Carolina. Roanoke, Virginia. Ottawa, Canada. Halifax, Canada. Those are in August. Spokane, Calgary, the great city of Calgary, Alberta, Canada. And then I'm going to be in Tuscaloosa, back in Lincoln.

And then I'm in Coachella, Vegas, Eugene, and Vancouver. Of course, September also has Denver and Clifton, Buffalo and Toronto. Go to ThompsonGro.com slash tour for tickets. Amazing, amazing. Amaze, what is amaze? What is amaze? It's two gentlemen. Gentlemen.

Yeah. With large penis. And I put into, how you say, rectum. He goes, no, my asshole. Yeah, well she did a PG version. Oh yeah. She did two. Rectum. Rectum.

Yeah, there's the spicy version, which is asshole. Asshole, and she whispered it. You know what I'm seeing a lot of is be relaxed massage. Be relaxed is a very, yeah. I've seen a couple of them. I think it probably translates massage. Be relax is a very, yeah. I've seen a couple of them. I think it probably translates perfectly. Be. Because there's like different grammar, you know?

And in whatever in Mandarin or Korean, it might just be like be relaxed is how you say it. You know what you wanna be? Well, be relaxed. Be relaxed. Also be relaxed. You don't wanna be tense, you wanna be relaxed. So let's open be relaxed. So relaxed. So relaxed. You don't wanna be tense, you wanna be relaxed. So let's open be relaxed.

So relaxed. So relaxed. Total relaxed. You know, those are everywhere. I'm a huge fan. Listen, I have so many updates, but I'm weary of getting into it because I know we have an opening clip.

Yeah. Should we start? And then I got so much to, I got a dental update. Yeah, let's do it. Ready? Yeah. Hello fellas, it, ready? Yeah. Yo fellas, how you doing? I always like to stop along the stretch of road

to take a little break. I just stretch back, pull out my dick, whack it, and pop off a load. Guy gets horny traveling down these fucking roads. Yeah, I know what you mean, going without a break that long really sucks. This shit is big time! Who is Randy?

Don't bring anyone's mother into this. Your mother the fuck is dead! Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Tom Segura. It's so true! Welcome to your mom's house. Boop, cha, boop, cha, boop. Boop, beanie, naughty, burp, burp.

Oh! Oh! I felt it. Oh Wow Wow what an opener gay porn really has the worst acting. Hmm. Maybe. I find... Maybe all porn? All porn, but I feel like the gay porn they don't even try. Yeah, we're trying to... Let's cut the bullshit. It's guys.

The guys know, like, let's fucking be done with this nonsense. Not a lot of artistry in that. No. But look how cute these little boys are. Yeah, I don't know. If you see the next scene, it doesn't look so cute. Jerking off releases a lot of tension. Oh, geez. don't tell me you've never beat off. Oh boy. Yeah, I've done it Ever done it with another guy like your best buddy

Never have no you really ought to try it. Oh, I don't know dude. Do you think we should? I guess so. Oh That wasn't like start off like no Yeah, didn't really don't twist my arm I do so Instagram has a bunch of these clips of like the setups for these scenes and all the gay ones I always send to de Stefano And he always writes back fucking yum. is awesome. Nothing better than a fat cock. That's beautiful. Every friend has different memes you can send.

Yeah, it's true. Everybody's got their own special stuff. Anytime this comes up, it's like straight to Chrissy D. Straight to Chrissy D, all the gay stuff, yeah. And if it's somebody like losing their limb or a life, I send those to like Rogan, Sean. If it's like a catastrophic lower leg injury, I always send that to Nadav, because I know he hates that.

Oh yeah. Like somebody breaking their legs or something. He has like a real, I sent him someone getting hit by a car yesterday. Oh, did he respond? Yeah, he was like cool. Thank you Yeah, it's a it's really a sign of friendship who you can send your most depraved to yeah, I do I like Retarded people singing I send that a lot to select individuals. Yeah. Very cool people.

I send mentally ill people to you usually. I like those. Yeah, I know. I'm like, oh, this lady's wacky. I'll send this to you. I like that. I don't, I ran, I very rarely send regular funny, funny memes. I know, I sent somebody.

I don't send. I sent somebody who went some catastrophic, somebody falling off a bridge, and like, both of their legs break, and I sent it to like a newer friend, and he was like, what the fuck? And I was like, yeah, this is terrible, right? I didn't know how to respond.

I was like, I know, and he's like, what's going on? I was like, yeah, I don't know. I just thought you and I could talk about this. I didn't know how he was gonna react. It takes time to find what your meme friendship is with certain people and how dark you can go. Yeah, I was like, that's what I was, I was sending this to be like, can you believe they let this up?

Yeah, I was deeply offended. I sent a Muslim, they're making fun of this, it was a call-in show during Ramadan, and this guy was like, if I eat my own semen, is God gonna punish me? Or something, you know, like it was a prank call, and I sent it to my Muslim friend. I didn't get any LOLs on that.

What did they say back? Nothing, they didn't comment, so I was like, ooh, maybe I can't send Muslim humor. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's best to send those to somebody that's not in that religion. I know, but then, you know. You guys can all have a laugh together.

Look at this fucking. These outsiders. But then, you know, I have Clayton Peters, a friend, he'll send me Indian stuff all the time. Yeah, he's got a great sense of humor. Yeah, that's true. He kind of sees the jokes in everything. Not everyone's like that.

Some people are very protective of their ethnic background or their religion. I know. And you're like, well, you're what's called no fucking fun is who you are. No fun. My favorite is when they make fun of white ladies. I really enjoy. Yeah.

Or Eastern European stuff really gets me every time. Yeah, yeah. I sent you one last night. You did, I know I saw it. Yeah, it was pretty funny. I hearted it and I sent it. Yeah, it was pretty accurate, right? She heard transition from fork and knife to like,

oh, I like. Be the pig. Yeah. Drinking ice. Pretty good. Yeah, good shit. So there's so much stuff, I don't even know where to start. I guess I could probably start with my morning because this morning, so this is kind of interesting.

So last night I'm working via Zoom on my show, the my Netflix show, I'm in the writer's room, but I couldn't be in LA so I just zoom in. I didn't realize the saga started this far back. Well, this is what I'm in the writer's room, but I couldn't be in LA, so I just zoom in. I didn't realize the saga started this far back. Well, this is what I'm saying. Oh, wow. It's that I'm in the writer's room, and so I couldn't join for dinner.

So I, so you guys are done with dinner. Cause they're two hours behind, so I have to like stay on later here. Sure. So when it finally ends and they're going home, I get out and there's salmon on the stove. There's what? Salmon.

Salmon. Thank you. So there's two little filets there. I eat those and that's probably like 7.30, maybe close to eight our time. And then so whatever, then we do like the whole kids routine, right, get them ready, brush. That nightmare.

Read, store, yeah, the whole thing. Force them to do everything, yeah. And so then I leave there, I get in bed, I'm getting ready for bed, and then I have that thought where I'm like, oh, I should eat something, right? But then I go, don't eat something. It's nine something at night you're not actually hungry you're just kind of like you're being a snacky

jackie yeah you're being snacky yeah you're ruminating and there's no there's no reason to eat so I just go don't eat which I think is a good for you a good choice go to bed wake up this morning it's when the boys jumped in bed so it's six something. Finally I'm like, I'm getting up. Get up and I'm like, I'm gonna go run. I decide not to have any food. I have a little coffee.

I put water in my little container and I go for a run. I run out two and a half miles, come back and I have the sauna prepped. I go into the sauna and I'm about to fart. And then I feel like the signals, you know, you have like little fingers in your asshole. They go, don't fart. You felt, that's interesting cause I feel the signals deeper in.

And I go Whoo, this is kind of crazy. Like I haven't I haven't done anything. This is considered fasted cardio. Basically. I haven't consumed anything And I'm like man, that's strange so I push through the sauna I Get out of the sauna and I'm like, can I clench my asshole still and get in the cold plunge? I decided that I can. I get in the cold plunge. I do a few, three minutes in there.

I get out and I'm like, man, I really need to sit on the toilet. When I sit on the toilet, it is like somebody, you ever see a dump truck go into a landfill? It's just, I mean, a valve opens and just, it's like somebody had taken handfuls of shit and they just throw it out. Which toilet did you use? The ours.

Okay. And it's just water and like just violent. And I'm like, man, this is crazy. It's so much that I, thank God we have the Toto, I run the cleaning cycle and I run it twice and I put it on oscillate and pull it, like just clean me up. When I go to wipe, the paper is all brown water,

it's stained brown. So I have to run it a couple more times. So that means you had leakage. There's still leakage. It was horrific. And I'm thinking, what do you think it was? Well, okay, based on what I know about you. It's 12 hours after salmon.

Well, it's not the salmon. It's not the salmon. It's the last thing I ate though, right? Okay, here's what I've learned. Sometimes when you don't eat, it'll make your body shit stuff out. I's not the salmon. It's the last thing I ate though, right? Okay, here's what I've learned. Sometimes when you don't eat, it'll make your body shit stuff out. I don't know why. Really? Sometimes if I don't eat a lot.

But Lin, here's what you did. Listen. You drank coffee. A little bit. Just a little. Yeah, it wasn't even a full cup. But then you made fitness. Yeah.

Fitness always makes you brown. Sweets, if you have too much sugar, you'll diarrhea right away. I didn't. But you know what I'm saying? These are the things that these are your triggers, your anal triggers. And then fitness. And dare I say, sometimes I've had diarrhea after going into a sauna. Really? Yes.

Sometimes the heat alone, like if it's super hot outside, I'll just shit. It was so bad. It was like noteworthy bad. I know and then guess. If I was keeping a shit journal, it would be. I know, it's like traumatic. Like you'll think about it forever. Yeah, I had diarrhea at the park with our kids

and Julian kept opening and shutting the door because he didn't believe me that the door was locked well enough so that people could just watch me shit. That was locked well enough so that people could watch you just watch me shit That was really special. But that was pretty catastrophic where I thought about it for days and days Yeah, this is one of the worst shits I've had in a long time. Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah. What do you guys think? I don't think it was a salmon. I think it's fitness heat Yeah, I mean it's the amalgamation of everything. Yeah. Salmon could do that to you.

Salmon. But I didn't get diarrhea. And I had the same salmon. Is it possible that it sitting out for a while might have done something? Oh, I know what it is. I cooked the salmon in butter. And butter makes you shit. I'm so sorry.

I forgot that piece. Yeah. I forgot. I'm so sorry. That's what made you shit. It was a lot of butter. I didn't, I thought it was. It was a lot of butter cause that's how the kids like it. That's how they'll eat their salmon. That's what it was. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I did you wrong, babe. Yeah. We're heading into the final round of the playoffs,

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for more exciting announcements. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado, celebrate responsibly. I did you wrong. But I admitted it. Do you love me that I admitted it? I could have just kept it a secret. Close this cold case. Yeah, no, of course. Thank you.

I'm glad I have a couple of updates that I like to give the audience. Firstly, Annie, I'm wondering, how do you feel? How do you feel about reading glasses? That's real quick. you feel about reading glasses? Do you think reading glasses are cap? Meaning, OK, carry out. Hear me out. Because and I think you'll agree with me here. As you age, the muscles in your eyes atrophy.

So the reason you need reading glasses is because they're weaker and you have to strain in order to read. So my thinking has always been, well then fuck them, work them out harder. Why are you allowing them to be weak by putting these on? You know what I'm saying? And now I'm weak. That's right. My eyes are pussies. That's right.

That's right. You're making them comfortable. Right. So as soon as you don't have those glasses. They're gonna be even worse than they were before Exactly. So this this is the theory I had for for a year. So I've seldom went to get my Prescription not subscription, right? My subscription updated So anyway, I'm at the fucking eye doctor and then she's like, oh yeah, I'm going to can I touch your eyeball with this tool to test for glaucoma?

I go, no, I'd rather have glaucoma than you touch my eyeball with that. So no, I don't have fucking glaucoma. I'm only 47. Fuck your mother. Secondly. So they give me the optometrist comes in. Are you listening? And I ask her about this theory,

does it make my eyes weak? Gay, yeah. Am I giving in? That's right. Are my eyes gay now? Am I gay as shit? Am I making my eyes homosexuals? Right. And?

She goes, well, I mean, look, you can either wear the glasses and allow your eyes to see. And look gay, right. I look gay. Or you can give yourself headaches trying to squint. So basically saying, it won't make a difference. If you try to squint, you're just gonna give yourself migraines.

It won't strengthen the eye muscle. I asked the doctor a similar question, and they told me it is just a matter of time for the entire population for both eyes and teeth in other words your eyes And your teeth without a doubt there's zero percent of people who don't experience Some decline in both of those over time. Yeah, that's at a certain point Your teeth just rot out of your mouth. Yeah, like if you live long enough you ever see somebody who's Your teeth just rot out of your mouth. Yeah, like if you live long enough you ever see somebody who's

90 like they don't have normal looking teeth, right? It's just unless they Update them. There's nobody who's Really old who's like, yeah, my vision just stayed 2020 up until I was 97. It's impossible The body just wears down. Yeah, the the muscle in your eyes. Yeah, you retina this just starts to decline over time The muscle in your eyes, like in your retina, this just starts to decline over time. Yeah, it just declines. So you can make yourself comfortable, which is like, either way, it's gonna decline. I've just never, since I never had glasses

or anything before, as I've needed these, I'm just, everyone's like, why don't you get contacts? I'm like, how do you, I'm not comfortable with them. I don't want them. Well, that's gay. I don't think so. Contacts are gay. I don't wanna touch my eye and then, but you only need these for reading, right?

Or, now you Or 24 seven on. No, I mean, I wear them because they make screens more clear and yeah. Yeah. Reading anything. I just I just need readers. Isn't the move to just do laser? Like laser works, right? Yes. That's not good. They don't know what.

What point do you do that? Like, do we wait until we're like 60? Because then it'll decline. No. Well, what I heard is that there is a point where you can't anymore. So you should do it before you can't. What if they, but what if they mess up my eyes by laser? It's a percentage, it's a very small percentage.

It is a super small percentage. My homie, my old homie, he got the surgery and they didn't tell him that one of the drugs in it he was allergic to, or I guess he didn't know. Dude was blind for two weeks. Like literally he could not see anything. He told me that. I'm like, I don't even know.

I saw one of those news magazine shows about Lasik surgery once and how it has a really high positive success rate. But they're like in this small percentage of people, it distorts their vision forever. No, one guy only sees in orange now. No, everything's like orange hues. Yeah. But it's also in like point zero01% of the cases. You know, it's like that does suck and all, but.

Orange is a cool color. How do you prove that he only sees orange? Or is it just a lawsuit? Oh, you're right. Good point. Maybe he's a liar face. And also, this looks pretty fucking cool. It's your cool new middle aged look.

I have a cool look. You know, in Botox, there's a small percentage of people that get droopy eye. Yeah. And I asked my plastic surgeon about that. And she goes, well, I go, well, is this gonna happen to me? She goes, well, if it does, you just come back and I give you a shot and it opens your eye

for the time that it's drooping so that you don't look crazy and then You look cool again, and then it'll come back after Yeah, but then why aren't people doing this shit because I see fools on tik-tok. That's what I want to get I want to get to get real pulled back Yeah, like you can go get a shot apparently that'll open your eyes that you don't look crazy for the time It takes for this to wear off. Here's the thing you look really look really funny. And that's a big plus, you're a comedian. No.

You go on stage like that. So good. People are like, hey, I'm already laughing. Oh, we're all laughable. Yeah. That's cool. Are you gonna start doing Botox? No.

Fillers? I don't think so. Running Gosling got crazy fillers. Did he? Will you Google his face? He got crazy fiddlesies. And you know I'm a huge Gosling fan, but they put too much in his little cheekers.

Oh, did they? Yeah, he's a little too smooth. Huh. Yeah. He has a rounder face. Yeah, look at the one next to that one, the right one. Yeah. That one.

Ooh. Oh, wow, I see what you mean. Yeah, they did, so they do it in the cheekbone, but male cheekbone's different than women's, and whoever filled whoever filled them out then yeah, that's a lot, right? That looks like it looks like he's swollen there. Yeah, they should dissolve that okay It wasn't placed properly for a man movie stars, man. Yeah They got to do it though, you know Tom Cruise does Phil's ease yeah, they all do it big stars big stars They all do it though, you know, Tom Cruise does Filzies. Yeah. They all do it. Big stars? Big stars, they all do it.

Yeah. Looks like his nose is real pointy too. Look how narrow his nose is. Isn't that a more narrow nose? I don't know. I don't think so. No? No, I think just the, they did his cheek area is a little too much. His lady did stuff too, right?

Eva Mendes, it looks like she got a full facelift. That's the age to do it though, right? You don't wanna do it late. No, so here's what I heard. I've always been told to the right. I've been told you have one good facelift and you should choose your timing wisely. Eva Mendes is very young.

I don't think it's in your 40s. I think she's in her late 40s maybe. I think that's too soon. I think you gotta wait. Okay. I think she's oh, she's 50. Okay, so she I don't know maybe 50. She's very pretty. I would have. She's gorgeous. Hopefully it'll relax. Maybe it's brand new. It's tight. Well, I tell I'm gonna get mine. I'm gonna get it like this. Yeah, pull it back real real tight. Well, that's how I'm gonna get mine. I'm gonna get it like this. Yeah. Pull it back real, real tight. Okay? Yeah.

Do the veneers. You look perfect. I go, how's everybody doing? You look great. Yeah. Also, I have a veneer report. I was watching the movie Valley Girl. Okay.

The 80s movie with Nicolas Cage. Oh, oh Yeah, this is part of it. Yeah anyway Nick can you Google Nicolas Cage is Valley Girl his teeth are very different naturally like he's a cute boy in the 80s Nobody had good teeth right? They're kind of uneven. They're jagged. They're not great, but he's adorable like he's just goofy and cute Look at Nicolas Cage's face. Look at those teeth now. But again, he's a wacky guy. Yeah.

Yeah, that one. Yeah, that's not good. Yeah, those are... Those are super white. Yeah, they're very white. Oh, I see. You can see it right there perfectly. Yeah, I think he was even kind of cute there when they were just natural They're big They're big and white. He also has a big mouth. He can't do little teeth. No

But he has little teeth naturally see oh, yeah And they give him big teeth. Big and white. You can't you can go too white Everyone goes too white. Too white and also if you're a celebrity and you can afford it Fix them like you know that doesn't look right so go back and fix them. Yeah, have them made a little more natural Hmm not nudge. He's great though. I can watch that guy in anything. Yeah, he's amazing We got some good really interesting updates here. Oh Do you remember this? Yes, of course who can forget? Well, you were very he's like, yeah He's like get out here nuts are too small. Oh

Play with your balls. I like that. He's smiling. Yeah, this guy doesn't like it So I got this hi Tim and Chris Watching episode 757 during the gay Indian military ball bag exam, I just got to thinking that our very own American military has a much more gay and invasive exam, which goes as follows. For a whole day you get regular physical exams, but it gets very gay right before you are able to swear in. Things begin to turn sideways when we, about 30 dudes, were put into a cold empty room. Then about five doctors who look like they enjoy the company of a young boy told us to strip down to only underwear.

For the next hour, they watch us and take notes as we perform a series of weird walks. At the end, they come up and feel up on our chests and whatever else looks questionable for entrance. Just when you begin to feel a little violated and uncomfortable, you are then funneled one by one into a separate doctor's office with only one dude who should definitely be sworn in as a cool guy who tells you to face him, remove your pants and underwear. He checks the front out for a second,

then asks you to take the following steps. Spin around, bend over, touch your toes, then reach back and spread those cheeks. You can then feel the heat of his gaze on your undercarriage for entirely too long. Just wanted to make the Mama Universe aware of this fun exam, and if they're considering joining, and also to let Ian know that he does not need

to move to India and join the military. He can have a great experience in our own country. Thanks, Jeans. Jacob. Oh, why are they looking at your butthole for so long? I mean, just to make sure everything is probably functioning properly. Maybe if you bend over and cough,

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Tickets at Cirque du Soleil dot com. Echo thanks its presenting partner Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Get out of here, you know? Yeah, I heard when you get into into prison they they do a pretty aggressive You know exam too. That's if you're hiding stuff up there your general and they want to see if there's contraband Yeah, and your booty hole because you can cough and it'll fall out of your booty. Yeah. Yeah, cuz people put cool stuff up there True. Oh, I know true cool stuff. Yeah, yeah sneak in your your drug. I said everything. Oh, yeah Okay, let's see this. Oh my God, I'm gonna have trouble with this one.

This was one that we played. Eating a booger breaks your fast? If you pick your nose and you eat the booger and intentionally swallow it, yes, it breaks your fast. This was about eating boogers during Ramadan. It led to us talking about, I have a visceral vomit-like reaction to just booger eating. So we put out the call.

And you brought up that Brooke Shields was a voracious booger eater. Because I remember that photo is burned into my memory. When she was seen doing that, I think at a tennis match or something. So we got this. Hey, I'm 31 and I've never stopped eating my boogers. Oh my God.

I'll get straight to the point. About every serious relationship I've been in, I had revealed I eat my boogers early and never really met a woman who takes issue with it. If anything, they love. No, they don't. They love the honesty. Plus, I've eaten a boogoger of multiple women I've dated.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm gonna fucking puke. I will say I've barely been sick in my life as far as a common cold or anything. Thanks for reading and shout out to my fellow booger eaters, Erin. Erin, I'm gonna fucking.

That was so gross. Oh, and then here's another one. Good morning, Julia. I hope this doesn't scare you. I'm reading, I'm writing in about the adults eating their boogers phenomenon. My other half is a big old booger eater. And we are both in our late 20s, early 30s.

I first noticed this habit a few years ago. We had just started dating and frankly, he was the best and most attractive boyfriend I ever had. So needless to say, I chose to ignore it. Fast forward a few years to moving in and spending essentially every day together. He was now consuming his boogers with no shame as we sat side by side on the sofa.

I finally mustered up the courage to ask him about it, stating, did you just eat a booger when there was a Kleenex right there? He said, yeah, why not? The response left me dumbfounded. Did I really love a man so much that I could overlook this strange habit? Could I open up my arms to him in my heart forever?

Short answer. Yes, I can and I always will. He is my disgusting little goblin. Now to be fair He has accepted my disgusting habits like blowing my nose into my hand in my shirt. Oh, I do that I guess you could say is a heavenly match in our cute little home from the crown mulling to the chair rail sending buckets and buckets of hate from Toronto, Melissa. Well, what do you think? Cause I blow my nose into my hand. Yeah, I've seen that. It's fucking foul, but.

But I don't eat my boogers. I don't think I could tolerate. I would have a real rough time. I can't do that because I, look, we all do stuff where we're watching TV. Yeah. Bite your nails or I blow while we're watching TV. Yeah. Bite your nails or I blow my nose into my hand. Yep.

But having somebody quietly eating their boogers next to you, you're trying to watch baby reindeer and he's picking his nose and eating it. Yeah. I can't do it. I know. I can't. That's it, that's a deal breaker.

It would be rough, man. I can take your explosive farts and diarrhea any day. I very rarely do that. You farted so loud this morning. Oh, but that makes sense, because of your diarrhea, that was a precursor. But there was no sign then. Yeah.

When that came out, I was like, welcome to the new day. It's a new day, you know? I thought you might enjoy this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cooking my dinner. Two choices, some is good, and the chicken. Cooking my dinner. Two Chelsea's, some, some as well. I'm a chicken breast, some as well. He's cooking in his car.

Yeah, I see that. That's cool. I wish I had one of those for hotels. Yeah, I mean, he's doing better than a lot of folks. I want a pan that I can just bring with me on the road. In the car? Yeah. You like that? I mean if I were him I would roll the windows down because that's a lot more smoke and Smell his car is gonna smell like bangers and chicken tits. Yeah, but I mean it's alright. It's fine

It's just him. Just him doing his thing. Yeah That's cool. I like this guy. I know, he's very cool. Yeah, but you know what I take issue with? He didn't season the chicken. It looked very bland. Very bland, I know, but maybe he's just cutting weight or something, you know? I didn't see any herbs or spices in his car.

Is there a spice rack maybe in the glove box? I don't know, I didn't get the full tour. I just saw what you saw. There's no spatula, how is he flipping? Yeah, so many questions more Videos that elicit a lot of comments. This is a new lane that we've discovered I bet people love her. Well, nothing but positivity. Goblin head big word.

I came to comment section to see if everyone agreed and the only comments I see is everyone bashing this young man. Oh boy, I know Someone who would like that who would hit that? Oh 85,000 likes for that 85,000. Oh, come on you guys. What ethnicity are you? I'd like to call you a slur She's by Mr. N word. Yeah That's really cool. Cool. She looks like she's from an English village

in the 1300s. Okay. Next video, try opening them with your chin. Jesus Christ. She escaped the Salem witch trials to tell us about almond milk. That's dedication, man. Geez.

Stop worrying about what's in an almond milk. Start worrying about if your mom and dad were brother and sister. That's fucking, that's cool. That's pretty funny. So that's goblin head. There's baby head and goblin head. Oh.

Yeah, baby head. There's baby head too? Baby head is this lady. Reese's Puffs, Reese's Puffs. Throw them out, throw them out, throw them out. It's got sugar, corn syrup, caramel coloring. She does have a baby head. Yeah, that's what they call her.

She's got a baby body too. And they also call her hairy arm baby. Jeez, with the handbob. It's very common now. People are so free. They are very comfortable, yeah. Very comfortable. Finally, I always wondered if he had seen it

and we finally got verification that he did. You may have seen on social media from when I did my Sledgehammer special, I tell a story about a famous neighbor. And they finally got to question him. There's a comedian named Tom Segura who does a standup special, I don't know if you know this. And he tells a story that's allegedly about you.

Yeah, it's complete fiction. It's utterly made up. I've never met the guy. I've sadly watched it on Twitter. Sadly. It is twisted and deranged and it's complete fiction, which of course means every lefty believes it's true because it's horrible about me and he just made it up and got some laughs from lefties who hate me.

To be fair, to be fair, I toured the world and everybody hates you. Like it wasn't just lefties. So like people in every market all hated you equally. But that's why he was, he's just such a good choice for the story. It's perfect. It was a story about him.

Beautiful. People asked like, was it really him? And I say, you know. Maybe. He looks great though, I do like that suit jacket. That's a nice suit jacket. I'll say this, people hate you, but that's a nice suit jacket. Yeah, you look good though.

At least you look nice. Yeah, that's a very nice jacket. I think we should take a quick break. Oh, exciting. And we'll be right back with our very awesome guest. Our guest today is a prolific comedian and actor you can see him in New York City on July 21st. You can get see him in San Francisco, August 28th Sacramento, August 29th. He plays Thaddeus in the hit show Fallout on

Prime Video. More importantly he's Peanut from Pickle and Peanut. And you can get tickets to see him at JohnnyPemberton.dog. It's Johnny Pemberton. All right! Hey! Hey! Ow, ow, ow! Great to be back. You, it's great to have you back.

You are on a massive hit show. It's nuts. It feels, it's kind of strange. It's the most watched show in the world right now. I think it is. I think it's like, it's, I don't know. I mean, obviously no one knows for sure. Cause it's Amazon.

They're like, we'll tell you a little bit. Yeah, of course. It's so weird to be in this era where they're like, I don't know, it's good. And you're like, tell me something. Do people like it? Yeah. But you can tell because TSA is like,

Hey, hey man. Yeah. The TSA thing is, Hey, you that guy. What I get theSA thing is, hey, you that guy. What I get the most, though, is, you know, you look like the guy from this thing. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I hear that.

And then they're like, sometimes they don't know. Yeah. I get that when I'm out in public. Right. A lot of times, airports, they don't ever tell you, you look like a comedian. I'm like, I've heard it. It's the guys like, hey, they don't ever tell you, you look like a comedian, and I'm like, I've heard it. And the guy's like, hey, they don't ever tell you you look like a comedian.

You walk away, like, I just dropped that on this guy. He doesn't know. He's gonna sit with that the rest of the day, don't even know who he looks like. I get, are you Christina P.? And they'll be like, I am, thank you. You know what I mean? And I know I'm blessing their day.

I just know how great I am. Just imagine. You're so great, you're so goddamn great. You're so good, you're so, so good. Cause you've worked so much though, is it like, everybody wonders what it's like to be on something that's a hit. Like you've been on a lot of things,

but like, huge hit. Does it feel like, oh wow, this is what this, you get the experience of? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I haven't been, I was in Oklahoma for the past, like almost a month when it came out. So I was experiencing like the Oklahoma version of that, which sometimes is like-

Filming there? Yeah, I was filming with one of those pilot for FX and it's like, you know, it's very different there. Oklahoma is different than everywhere. It's nice, but it's also, I don't know what, if this is just, if I'm experiencing something because of it's Oklahoma-ness of it or if it's like actually... Is it more there? Are people more like, oh shit. I don't know. I can't really tell. I feel like maybe, but that's also just because it's like a thing where there's always context too.

Cause sometimes people, they, like I had something recently, I was in Kansas city, I don't know where, maybe Indianapolis, I'm not sure. But I had a girl, she was like, does anyone tell you you look like Johnny Pemberton? And she was fully saying like, oh, I'm not that person. Yeah. And so I think it's like, you, I'm not that person. Yeah. And so I think it's like, you know how context

is like a thing where- Did you tell them? I just think I said, yeah, I get that a lot, almost every day. And I think slowly she realized, oh, yeah, it is him. But you know, cause like you don't expect to see someone in a place like a crappy ramen place. You just don't expect it.

So what the hell are you doing here, man? Yeah. Yeah. That's the best is people are like, what are you doing? What are you doing here? Yeah. Yeah. So is that how you feel about your town? Yeah. This place sucks, man.

What are you doing here? Yeah. There's like the two reactions. Some people are like, what are you doing here? Yeah. What are you doing in New York City? Yeah. Like, what are you, why are you doing here? Yeah. What are you doing in New York City? Yeah. Like, what are you, why are you here?

Yeah. Why, why did you come here? We get that a lot on the road when we do a stop like for coffee, like on a highway somewhere. And someone would be like, the hell are you doing here? Like, we just stopped for coffee. Like, that's what we're doing here. Yeah.

We're leaving too. Yeah. You should, and we are, yeah. Can I come with here. Yeah. We're leaving too. Yeah. You should and we are. Yeah. Can I come with you? Yeah. Can I come with? Yeah.

You're just, I mean, you act in everything. I feel like you're constantly. No, it's like waves. It's waves. But Kirk told me you guys, didn't you guys do something together? Kirk Fox? Yeah.

He said you guys did a movie. Shot a movie in the fall in Florida. Yeah, I remember that. It's being, they just finished editing it and it should be, we're kind of waiting on festivals right now. That sounded cool. It's really cool.

It's gonna be, it's nuts. It's like, it's a crazy sci-fi Florida. It's about a mermaid. Yeah. But it's not a pretty mermaid. Dark, it's a dark story, right? Very dark. I play a guy who's addicted to painkillers.

And he's like, you know, basically on the spectrum a little bit and he is obsessed with fish because he's not good with people. He's obsessed with fish and it's like a crime. Like Robert Patrick's in it. He's the main bad guy. Yeah, he's great. Dude, he's fucking incredible. That guy, he's nuts. He's like so, he has so much energy and he's so intense. It's so inspiring to work with a person who's, he's at least 20 years older than me

and he is so fucking sharp. Ready to go. He exhausts me. I'm like, how are you doing this? Where are you getting this energy? There's a scene where he's in the water, he's supposed to be pretending to, I don't wanna spoil anything, but he's in the water and he's supposed to be pretending to, like, I don't wanna spoil anything,

but he's like, you know, he's in the water and he's trying to make himself vomit. And he's like, he's talking shit to me between takes. Just fucking with me, because I was filming him, he's like, can't pretend to be a piece of shit, you dumb ass. I'm like, he's taking the piss out of me. But it's just so, I'm like, my God.

He's just so, I don't know. I don't get where it comes from. Yeah. That's rad. Yeah, that's cool. That's going to be a fun movie to see. But you know what I like about you, because you've done where my mom's at a few times, is that you're, um, you're a big show business guy, but you're not like you're so normal. Like even like, look how you dress and stuff. Like you're kind of normal guy. Look how he dresses. You know what I mean? And you're like,, like even like, look how you dress and stuff, like you're kind of a normal guy. Look how he dresses. You know what I mean?

You're like, how do I put it? Cause aren't you from Virginia? Wow. Carolina. Keep going. North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia. Daper, farther south. No, okay.

Really? No, I'm going the other direction. From Minnesota, that's where I grew up. Why? Why did I think you were Southern? Because I just do Southern accents all the time. Yeah, you do. And you talk about- My mom's from Louisiana, so it's like, you know.

But you always talk about like playing in the backyard and stuff, and blowing stuff up. I like that. Your mom a Creole? No, she's just like a redneck. Just a standard Catholic redneck. Baton Rouge? Alexandria. Alexandria, okay. Where the paper mill is. Okay. Baton Rouge? Alexandria.

Alexandria. Where the paper mill is. Okay. Oh, that smells bad. Is your dad from Minnesota? He's from, he was born there, but he, I think he spent most of his life in Wisconsin. Okay. So he's a Scani.

Yeah, so you're hardcore Midwest. I mean, Minnesota, Wisconsin. But you know, I grew up, my mom would like talk shit about Minnesota constantly. I was around my mom 90% of the time and she would be, she had a Southern accent, everyone would make fun of her. Not make fun of her, but she's like, hey, here comes Lacey, she's coming, she's got her.

So. Twang. Yeah, she's got, I made rolls for the party. That's right, because when you're on my show, you were like, your mom would love to talk trash about the neighbors. Because that's what we're talking about. In our community, they're so concerned about

what other people are doing on their property. It's all people do. Yeah, I'm like, I don't care what my neighbor's building, doing, growing. How can you not care? How can you not care what they're up to? I don't care. People will be like, I saw you put an umbrella up. Yeah. And shit like that.

And you're like, huh? Are you serious? Yeah. Hey, Tom. Yeah. I saw you put that. Where'd you get the umbrella? Yeah. Yeah. And shit like that. Are you serious? Yeah. Hey Tom, I saw you put that. Where'd you get that umbrella? Yeah. Yeah, and they're like, is it permanent or is it just kind of a thing for the moment? What is that?

What's up with that umbrella you got there, huh? Yeah, and I'm gonna take it down. Okay, cause you know you can't have like a fixed umbrella up all the time. Yeah. You can't? No. There's all these fucking rules.

I can't handle that. I don't know. Oof. Yeah. I cannot handle that shit at all. I know. They're all involved. There's all these fucking wolves. I can't handle that. I don't know. Oof. I cannot handle that shit at all. They're all involved. There's part of me. It wears on you. Like the whole, you know about Pasadena, right?

What about it? It's what the valley was supposed to be, I know that. Pasadena is like, if you want to paint your bathroom, you have to get the city council involved. The shit like that. What? It's nuts. To preserve the oldness of those houses, like the bungalow styles or whatever.

They're like, we are not LA. It's Pasadena. I wanna buy a house there just to like, oh, fuck you. Yeah. Like fuck. All kinds of bad shit. I feel like that will backfire.

I think it will. I think this would be like a thing where I would be, I need something else to do other than fucking piss off the Pasadena olds. You know about the Huntington Gardens, right? You know why their hours are from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.? Please tell me. It's because the people, the Huntington,

like homeowner district is such a bunch of nimby bastards that they don't want traffic in the mornings. Oh yeah. So what's the best time to go to a garden? Obviously early in the morning. Oh yeah. So what's the best time to go to a garden? Obviously early in the morning. Early, yeah. It's the greatest time. It's like the one time it's worth getting up early

is to be in the garden. Right, the sun's not killing you. Yeah, you're not getting fucking blasted by this nuclear Southern California sun. Yeah. Yeah, you can't go there. It closes, it doesn't open till 10. I know. Unless you're like a special member,

you have to pay twice as much and you can go there at nine. That's so weird. Yeah, cause it's all this nimby shit. Yeah, and they're like, we don't want all the trucks on the street, congestion. And you're like, where are you? We don't want, no. We noticed, no big deal,

but your car was parked outside on the street. You know you can't do that overnight, right? Also the car is not clean. Yeah, if you could. It was sort of a dirtier car. We have a parking place for people who are coming to work. Yeah. If you don't live here, you should probably walk in.

Maybe use the back entrance. Use the back entrance. There's a whole back street, it's dirty. It's where the rats and the cats and everything. They all hang out back there. There's trash there, you can put up by the trash. Yeah, just stand by the trash. If you could just wear a trash bag, like a sort of a ghillie suit trash bag, please.

If you could just show up and maybe make sure, no eye contact, please don't, no eye contact. Never. No, please don't make eye contact in the morning in the Huntington district. We lived in a neighborhood where the neighbors would police if you parked in front of their home. Oh my God.

On a public street. This is a public street, this is on a regular street. That's a bored person, that's a person who's like, oh, you know, I'm addicted to Diet Coke and I hate my life. So I'm going to make someone else as miserable as mine. I remember getting like, the person came in, hey, yesterday, you parked right in front of our house. Yeah.

And I was like, huh? Who cares? And they were like, yeah, you parked right in front of our house. What'd you say? I was like, yeah, there was nowhere else to park. And they're like, yeah, but we park in front of our house. So don't park in front of our house. And I was like, okay, well, if there's nowhere else to park and they're like yeah but we park in front of our house so don't park in front of our house and I was like okay well if there's nowhere

else to park I think that it was like a last... Don't they have a drive-light? Yeah and a garage. Yes all the things that come with houses. Then there was a real psycho, the guy across the street. Tell this story. He's probably dead by now anyway. He's gotta be dead. Yeah hopefully. I'd never spoken to this guy and And I parked in front of his house. And I guess, you know, it was Tuesday, Wednesday I took her car. So I left my car. Oh, for more than a day?

And so I left. And when I came back, I park. And then that night I'm gonna take my car. So I walk over and there's a note there. And it's like, hey dipshit, like that. It was like, you left your car here and they couldn't street clean. Don't fucking leave your car here.

So then what I would do is- Did you get a ticket though? You also got a ticket, right? I don't even remember if I got, I don't think I got a ticket. I think what happened was I see that and I'm like, yeah, okay, it was so aggressive. And so then what I would do is when I had friends come over.

Park over there. I'd go park over there. And then I tried to get friends, I go, hey, I'm leaving town if you don't mind. Would you mind parking your car there? Would you park your car there for a couple of days? Yeah, try to see if I could. So they basically just raised your hire.

He was a former cop. Former cop. Yeah. No, but Tommy, remember what, if you did park in front of his house, he would. Oh yeah, he would put his car like an inch from your car. Yeah, the passive aggressive, the passive aggressive like super close thing. Yeah.

That was wild. I have written a note though. You wrote a note? I wrote a note, but here's why. In front of our house, there's only two parking spaces, and the person took up both. Okay, that's unfair. And when I do write a note? I wrote a note, but here's why. In front of our house, there's only two parking spaces, and the person took up both. Okay, that's unfair. And when I do write a note, I do it in a way where it's like, I don't speak English.

I wrote a big note with my left hand, and it was like, please park extra space, thank you. And like a big, huge piece of construction paper on their like, scrawl. And then I think they're like, oh, this is scary. Yeah, this is not correct grammar or anything. And I'd feel bad for the person who wrote it and I'd want to help them.

That's actually very smart. Or maybe I should be like, please, I am no walk. This help Papa Daddy sip daddy sick mini cough Please help this space for mini many many many do you know? Now you do you knowing yeah? Many. Do you know? Do you know?

Do you know? Now you do. Are you knowing? Yeah. Are you knowing this is more room for people than this car is? Yes. I'm having wonderful time of explain, are you?

It's so weird to do it without an accent. Yeah. Yeah. The non-accent accent. I never tried, I should write it I should start writing notes to neighbors just on cars shit anywhere on cars. Just hey, hey Hey, how's it going? Well, like you can do the wash. Where are you from? Why do you park like this? Oh Welcome nice tits bitch

Yeah, you probably if it's? That's it? Yeah. Especially if it's a guy, he's like, oh fuck. Fuck, I'm gaining weight. Yeah. Nice tits, bitch. Saddened to think about that, actually. Yeah. Yeah.

Fuck, these tits are growing. You've got a big titty trauma. Yeah, dude. That'll really wreck somebody. By the way, speaking of Gotham, we've been seeing that, you know, there's this whole lane of like theme park people. Some of them are like seeing if you're fat,

can you ride these rides? Some of them are like, here's the food. If you were thinking of just spending a day eating here. Oh, I know. These videos play in my house. Oh, cool. What? Yeah, but there's this lane too. I know.

Goth. I know. Goth. I know. Disney. It finally happened. So. Wow. This is Christina's dream. Is this Bat Day? Yes. Okay. So this is called Bat Day.

And this has been a Goth tradition, especially Disneyland in LA. If you grew up in LA, this is something the goths have been doing for, I don't know, 30 years now. Now, Pemberton, you and I were talking about this before we got on mic, is that they actually used to be a goth club, I think he was at Knott's Berry Farm, I wanna say, in the late 80s. And so, and not, there are goth characters,

Maleficent is goth, all the dark witches and stuff. So there's a little correlation. Granted, they are adults. I'm not stoked about that, but there's a lot of teenagers too. I don't have to defend my tribe. There's also Disney dating sites. Oh, serious?

It's like, are you a rope dropper? Which means are you there first before it opens? Are you a park closer? Rope dropper does sound 100% like taking big shit. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's funny you say that because here's a guy that was at Disney and- Shut the fuck up.

Yeah. Oh, even the walk to the walk, he's got the, the, the, the, you know, the sort of wobble. That's also a lot of shit. And like, why don't you take off your long sleeve and wrap it around your waist to cover? Is he got his period? He didn't even notice?

Did he not notice the shit? I think he knows, he knows. He's like, well there's a bathroom up there. Also you know what? Yeah, let's film him. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just film this guy.

This guy who had the worst moment of his of the year. And then just put him on the internet. You know I've been so lucky when I've sharted, it's always been at home, except for one time on an airplane and I had an extra pair of underwear with me. That's right. I always bring extra underwear when I travel.

Yeah. Oh yeah. It's like, I was- When was your last shart? Ooh, last shart? It's been a while. Yeah. I mean, it's all like, I kind of forget the minor ones cause it's just why I remember. Sure. Yeah. But I did one on a train in Europe when's all like, I kind of forget the minor ones because it's just why I remember.

But I did one on a train in Europe when I was like probably 20 years old or something like that. Oh, it's been a while then. But that one was like, I wish I had, I had to take off underwear and just free ball it. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was, I think I slept so hard

and I drank so much wine. The combination on my feeble bowels just really fucking ripped it. Well, but this is interesting because is he not wearing underwear? Because it's rare for a shart to bleed. Is it bleeding through? He could be, or it just could have been

just a massive shit. Just a huge, I mean, look at that. That's a lot. That's a big shart. That's a liquider. Because you know when you're sharting. I think it was on a ride and the abrupt, oh, you know, like. Oh yeah, that's a thing, fuck.

I've had that almost happen a bunch of times. I find out where I'm laughing. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I have to do more kegels. Cause I have to do kegels like actively. You do? I didn't know men had kegels. What do you mean?

I thought it was just a vagina muscle. Oh no, it's ash, it's the same thing. It's all part of the same thing. It's in that pelvic floor. Yeah, the pelvic floor. Okay. Yeah. Also can help you from busting your load too fast. I think. Oh, okay. Hey, sorry, I hate to analyze it. It's just, it's capturing my attention. He's not in a hurry. That walk is a leisurely clueless walk, am I right? And he's noticing too. Well that's why I was thinking that I don't even think that that's shit, because yeah, if that was shit, homie, you're running.

You're running to that entrance, there's no way. He's got the crazy Disneyland jacket on. He's got the gear on. You know what that's called? It's called the Spirit Jersey. It's literally called that, I know. No. Is the shit staining the bottom of his shirt too?

Cause that color looks- No, that's the gold castle. Yeah, that's the castle design. Can we see that one more time? I just wanna check his gate out again. Yeah. I don't see a sense of urgency. Yeah, but you know what?

I'm gonna speak from experience. When you have that much shit in you, you can't run cause you're at risk of agitating it further. I think he's resigned to the fact that it happened. You're doing this's looking ahead like bathrooms are up there. Okay, he's walking like this He's also like I'm still a cool black brother. I'm not gonna run and look silly in front of all these folks You know, I mean like hold on so he's got a hot load in his pants. He's got to own it. Hold on I've got another forensic thing to go on here when you dump in your pants like this I've had shards run to go on here. When you dump in your pants like this,

I've had shards run down my legs. There's a lot of brown up top, but wouldn't the brown go down the leg and out the pant bottom? And I'm not seeing any brown coming down. It's going down. I can see a streak. Okay.

Yeah. Oh my God, there's the Disneyland swag. Are you taunting me with these spirit jerseys here? Are you taunting me? Spirit jerseys. Cause I know. Cause I've been to Disneyland more than twice. How many times have you been there?

Probably like 10 times. Oh, okay. But I haven't been in a while cause it's- You a rope dropper or a park closer? I'm probably a park closer. Yeah, dude, we're park closers too, man. Yeah, we're park closers. Yeah, stay away.

It used to be fun. It used to be like a thing where, oh, this isn't like filled with assholes. It's not filled with- Now Disney is just so, so busy. You can't really have fun. I feel like. Too many people. There's just so many people.

Ugh. Yeah, that's gross. Yeah. Fat test avatar flight of passage here at Disney's Animal Kingdom. This is one of only a couple of rides that have a test seat out front. There are two things that this is going to come up over the back here and it also has

to come up over your feet here. So I'm right there as always. I am always right there. I have fluctuated like 40 pounds and I'm always right there. Can you shit in that little slot? No, not today. So clearly Avatar Flight of Pass passage failed the fat test. Wow.

So he couldn't write. Did somebody say like, you can't be on, is that what they were saying to him? Yeah, they refused to. Yeah. At least he says fat, right? Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does. Or does he say like a person of-

Yeah, he's 5'8", 370. He's a big boy. Damn. Yeah. 52 inch waist. Disney's animal kingdom. Yeah. Is that true? I mean, I don't want to say I'm not gonna say anything. No

What it's just it's all right there. It's all there. Yeah It's all right there. The details are This is the baseball card. Yeah, it's the baseball card. Yes. That's what park this is animal kingdom Yeah, do you do they put that test chair out for fatsoes? I think that's what that was. Yeah, that's what that was. Specifically for fatsoes. Probably because it's like,

we don't wanna have to deal with this on the day and have it be like a difficult thing, you know? Yeah. And also, here's the thing, you put that out there if you have this come up a lot. They're like, a lot of you are fat, a lot of you are coming up here. Take a seat, see if your big fat ass can fit on this, yeah.

And if it can, then, it's like that thing with TSA, can your bag fit in here? Yes, yes. Just because we have to deal with you later. That fucking bullshit. Oh, sorry, oops. Yeah. Sorry.

Oops, sorry. Sorry, flying, I forgot flying is hard. Yeah, fucking unbelievable. Oh man. This fucking lion. What alien was it again? Oh my God. It was United, fucking unbelievable. Oh man. This fucking lion. What alien was it again? Oh my God. It was United, right?

That was American. Yeah. She's a lion. United makes sense. She's a lion. Uh oh. Well, they're out there. There we go.

They're out there. They're not fighting that fire, Johnny, thanks. I check. I like to check, I just wanna worry about it. Yeah, same bag that is overhead in every flight this fucking line said it wasn't gonna fit fuck her whatever she's dead so how did she die I don't know I don't know okay I just heard that to you yeah you're fucking dead to me yeah you're fucking dead whatever You want to get heated many Olympics are happening in Paris Damn

Thumbs up, I'm good double thumbs up. I just tried to stop 400 pounds flying at me Wow he got sat down He literally was like I'll stop this with my hands. That's really crazy And also just the the momentum of that thing spinning Get out of the way, dude Run Was he trying to stop it or just her? I think you're trying to stop it from hitting his you know Oh, yeah, so he just put himself don't a damage that expensive piece of equipment. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I'd stop that shit. Yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

I'd say, yeah. I'd stop that shit. Yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah, dude. I'd fucking stop. I got gloves on. No problem. You got gloves on.

I'll do anything with gloves on. Stop. That's what you should do. You should wear gloves when you fly. I have. Really? Yeah, sometimes. Like rubber gloves or like?

Receivers gloves, like, you know? Yeah. Like football gloves, yeah. If you do that, then they'd be like. Oh shit, this guy's serious. Yeah, sometimes I'll just wear one. It'll fit. Yeah.

Yeah, it'll fit. It'll fit, it'll fit. We'll find a place for it, sir. It's good, it's good. We'll find a place for it. You're fine, you're fine, I didn't see the gloves. Didn't see the gloves. You're seriously, you're a frequent flyer.

Yeah. Now you wear gloves and an N95? Double crazy? N95 gloves, safety glasses. N95s I still see out every once in a while. So do I. You're fucking intense. So mentally ill.

Yeah. The worst is people trying to talk with them on. Oh my God. Yeah. I just can't understand. I realized that recently, like, oh, I can't understand what you're saying. Is that okay? Yeah, it's not even that. It's not just the't understand. I realized that recently. Oh, I can't understand what you're saying. Yeah, it's not even that.

It's not just the muffling. It's the literally like how much visual cues you get from seeing someone's mouth and stuff. It's like I can tell the difference between two words that are way too close together. And also my hearing is not as good as it used to be. Like I feel like, oh my God. I'm scared to get tests

because I don't want to find out how bad it is. Because I, so much of the time, I'm not in our house, it's like, if you're talking to me from a different room, it's like, I don't know, I heard was, I don't know, I don't know. Really? It's like we're one room apart. Yeah.

It's like, I have no fucking, I get so pissed though when I can't understand what someone's saying. It's like I can one room apart. Yeah. It's like I have no fuck. I get so pissed though. I can't understand what someone's saying. Yeah. It's like I can just feel myself diving into dementia. Yeah. That's how I feel about my shitty vision. Really? Well, I just had my eyes checked and then, you know, I have to get my prescription

up and I'm like, fuck dude. Yeah. She was like, are glasses gay? And they were like, no, but your eyes are going to be if you don't wear them. And so the doctor said, well, because I feel like I but your eyes are gonna be if you don't wear them. And so- That's what the doctor said. Yeah. Well, cause I feel like I'm giving in to the atrophy if I get glasses.

Yeah. Like you're just making them weaker, those muscles. But she's like, that's not how it works. No, I think it's the other way around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like if you give into hearing loss, then you get dementia. Oh.

If you give in. Yeah, you don't know about that? No. Like hearing loss is inextricably linked to dementia now. They found out that it just hastens that so fast because you start to not be able to hear stuff and so you kind of withdraw and that makes it go faster and all these different aspects.

So does that mean if your hearing starts to go, you should just try to dial up your, like get whatever you can. Yeah, get hearing aids. Yeah. Because it's like you'll develop dementia even though you don't want to, you, get hearing aids. Yeah. Because it's like, you'll develop dementia, even though you don't want to, you'll have it happen. Fuck, I don't wanna have dementia.

No, and that, I have a relative who has really bad hearing and her mind is like, yeah, close. That's so true. You start to have your own world. What? And you're like, okay, I'm right here. Yeah. I feel like if you're a comedian though,

it's really hard to have that happen because we use our brains. I know. Such a specific, like think about like, who's the comedian who just died, who's super old? Like there's some comedian, did Don Rickles not die? No, he's not dead now. He's been dead for years.

He was like with it till the last second. Oh yeah, Philly Stiller too in the late 90s. They lived for a long time. That's not an accident. I feel like that's a comedian thing. Cause your brain is always solving puzzles. George Burns and Bob, they all lived to be in the 90s. Yeah, Dick Van Dyke.

He's still around, isn't he? He's still around. Carol Burnett, still alive. Still sharp? I don't know about that, but I know they will. I mean sharp-ish, sharp-ish for the age. I think so too. And I just started learning how to drum,

like I do drum lessons now. Oh, that's really good. Yeah, and, cause you have to move your foot and the right and the left at the same time. Yeah, it's so hard, but it's so good cause I can actually, like I can't do it right, the first time I learned to beat, I'm like, I don't know. But then I'll sleep or something,

and then the next day I can do it. And I'm like, whoa, like my brain totally learned to do something that it's never not. Yeah, it's crazy. I don't know, it's a good skill. I feel like- That's how you used to learn video games and stuff. You'd sleep, you wake up like, I know the map now.

Yeah. I can fucking stroke these nudes. Oh, cause then you sleep it would happen? Yeah, cause you're out, you're replaying the game and you're asleep. Oh. And so anything you learn,, cause you're out, you're replaying the game in your sleep. Oh. And so anything you learn, like if you're learning a language,

when you sleep, your brain's like still tinkering away at the problem. So when you wake up, you're like, ah, just oui la jean vie, you know? Same with jokes. If I'm like, I don't know how to do this. I'll sleep, I'll wake up. I know how to do this now.

Really? So crazy. Yeah. It might take, that takes more time though. Sometimes a joke can take a decade. Really? Mm-hmm. But it's because I haven't emotionally processed

the matter. If I'm emotionally too attached, I can't make fun of it. Or there's just like a setup that stays with you forever and you keep kind of going back and then one day it just clicks for you. I don't know. I feel like there's so many jokes that I will laugh at for years.

This is so funny to me, but I just can't make it funny. Yeah, for an audience. Yeah, and maybe eventually, you know that company No Bull? Yeah. Like to me, like the dumbest, like the idea like, it means no, it means no bullshit. It means shit.

It's like, guess what? This is a curse. Is that Tom Brady's? I hope not. I mean, his company now, didn't they rename it noble? I agree. There's something wrong. Juvenile about it. Right. Bullshit.

But I think it's like so funny to me, but I feel like other people don't think that's funny. No bull. Like, can you guess what?, guess what these shoes are. These shoes, they're called no bull, but guess what, guess what that stands for. No bull and TB12 have merged to create one company. What's TB12 stand for?

No bull, total bull. Total bull 12. Guess what bull stands for. Bull shit. Bull shit. Oh you know those bars that say like, guess what, guess what's stands for? You know those bars that say like guess what guess what's in these bars man? Yeah, you got like an egg Yeah, you got some cinnamon and guess what there's no BS What's what's BS stand for? I?

Want to call my back hi? What is what's BS? What's BS? Um? It just you just a joke. We have what's the joke? What's that? I love your bars. What's the joke that means? No BS is in them. I want to tell my kids What does that mean when it says there's no BS in your bars? Oh Ma'am, it just said it just means um, there's no no bull crap. That's that's BC. What's both? What's it mean? Just make the person say, it means, okay, I'm gonna get fired now, it stands for shit. There's no bull shit.

In our products. Why would you say that on a food? Why would you say there's no bull shit? It just makes me fucking, it drives me insane. I know. Yeah, just say the word, be an adult. What's there? To be cool.

OBS. What's the, can you go be an adult. What's there? To be cool. Yeah, be asked. What's the, can you go to nobull.com? Whatever it's called. Let's see. It's like wearing Tom's shoes. You know those Tom's shoes? Yeah. No, obviously it's nothing to do with you,

but those shoes were like, epically ugly. Like ugly in a way that is, I feel like, feels sick. All those have no bullshit, those shoes like that like oh You know what we wouldn't have a shoe that has no branding So we work with some of the industry's top fitness experts, and we come up with a shoe You know we decided to call it. We don't want to call it a cool name. We decided to call it what it is There's no bull in this shoe. So we please put together a gift bag put together a gift bag of Noble stuff for Johnny. You get like a, get his size, it's almost like a small package.

I'll send you a picture of me burning them. No! He's gonna wear them out. People know you're Noble shit. Yeah, I'll wear them out. Hey man, I tell you what, there's a lot of things I don't like. It's I'm allergic to blueberries, okay? No thank you on those.

I'm a rope dropper, and I'll tell you one thing, I'm always doing when I'm at that rope drop, I've got my Nobless on because I don't like bullshit. We don't have a lot of rules in this restaurant. Well, we got 12. One by one, no stupid questions. You ask one of our servers who are very busy for a fact of a matter a stupid question, they're going to reply to you with a sassy answer. If you can't handle that, then maybe you should go to a different restaurant.

There you go. I love it, dude. I like this noble approach. Yeah, there was Dicks. Wasn't Dicks? That was the whole premise. The premise of the restaurant was the waiters are rude to you. Oh boy. But that's fun though. Yeah. There's a restaurant in Atlanta that has like no rules except for these 12 rules. Really?

Yeah. It may be attached to a comedy club. Okay. That we all know. Oh look at the lady out there she's like oh I do know Park not here. No! Oh. Dude, how did that even happen? Oh, she got so clocked. Yeah, she did. Wouldn't she just run away? I would've run away. Run away if... But she didn't do anything wrong, really.

She just opened the door. I know, though. I'd be so afraid that I'd be accused of doing something. I gotta see that again. Okay. Yeah. Because she just goes to open the door and it shatters. Yeah, it just shatters. It doesn't... Oh!

Something tells me that wasn't put together well. Oh, I think they hired the wrong guys. Yeah. Why would it shatter? Because it's like those doors that have like the, what's that, like a car door, you know, you hit it in that one spot. It's like that kind of glass, like probably tempered.

Oh, I don't know what you're talking about. Don't you miss backboards breaking? Remember those, what you would break all the time? Those are the best men. How it shattered so many bad boards. Any highlight of a backboard breaking? I was like, this is the fucking coolest. I don't know what you're talking about.

Like when people would dunk in the 70s, 80s, even into the 90s, they would. They didn't have like like now it's like this plexiglass. It can't. Yeah. But it used to just be a glass backboard. I remember that, it was exciting. And it would shatter. Like it would just shatter and be like, oh my God. How long would the game be locked down after that?

You know, I think they obviously probably got more proficient at it where they could probably turn around quick. But at first there had to be massive delays. And then you see it in, sometimes in like high school games and you're like, I don't know if they're equipped. They probably just like, the game's over. Yeah, there's nothing. They won. They won They want that kid's big Brian Brian. Oh, he can get up

Yeah, I mean I'm sure back growing up Shaq probably broke a thousand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna bill that guy That's the best stuff is like well We're gonna send him a bill. That's the best when stuff is like, we're gonna send you a bill, sir. Yeah, a bill for your athletic ability. We're sending you a bill. This is already good. Yeah. I hate that it ends there.

Because that noise is so great. Yeah. I liked watching her tits jiggle Can you slow mo? Cuz the sound here like Okay, do slow mo sound oh no, I don't have that can you hear it one more time yeah, I think I got it I think I got a beat on that song. The kid's watching her too. Yeah

Glad you got that helmet on. Yeah She totally resigned to the fall too. She was just like just take it. You could almost make that I'll leave with my face We just need uh sway the remix god to to make a whole video with this, you know I'll drop some bars on that. Some thick bar. You got this. Oh! Oh yes! Hahaha!

Yes! That's the best when a camera person is so invested like, fuck. Holy shit. What was that even though? I don't know. What is that? I don't know. Like a parkour test roof?

Yeah. It can't take any weight, so it's definitely not meant for that. What is this, France? Oh man. That's a good leap. Yeah, she did it. She made it. What's in there? That was great good one boys I Could watch the kids you watch the kids getting hurt I could watch the kids you watch the kids getting hurt

Hmm I don't know yeah, that was just terrible that was pretty good. That was horrible Jesus I wish there was a big nasty bitch locked in my booth with me Ripping big nasty farts out of her nasty asshole while I jack off. Oh wow Didn't see it going there at all. Yeah. Is that JK Simmons? Yeah. Yeah. Good night Instagram. I really wish an alien would sneak in my room and tongue fuck my rectum and call me the N word.

Oh. Oh, various specific. Good night little N words. Oh wow. Almost seems like someone wrote these down. He's being paid to read them. Yeah, it does feel like it. Right.

It's like, here's five dollars, will you read this in your voice? Right. He seems a little emotionally divorced from the subject matter. I don't believe, it's not believable, as they say, in the acting world, right? That is a cool.

That's what you're selling. Yeah, I feel like he's reading. It's a cool kink, though. What, having, wanting to be invaded? Yeah. I've never heard of that one before. Called racial slurs, I think that, I mean, I get it. Yeah, you wanna be degraded, you wanna be invaded. Invaded and slurs. I think that, I mean, I get it. Yeah, you want to be degraded and you want to be invaded.

Invaded and degraded. I want to be invaded and degraded. Yeah. Here you go. Invade me, degrade me. That's really cool, Tom. I like that weird pillow he's got too. What is that?

It's a cool guy pose. This is the cool guy. They always do this. It's like shirtless. There's a reflection of the phone and his glasses. No headboard. No headboard no headboard propped up wall light from one direction yeah It's kind of a guy does betray a certain honesty. Yeah, it does tells you that like you're getting an unfiltered look

Yeah, like if you were to recreate this I think you'd have trouble Being like this is definitely take one. Yeah, yeah. It's got that take one feel. Hey, I'm a one take guy. It was probably his philosophy. It's the kind of guy you get. I only need one take. Yeah.

Yeah. Cause the second take I get like tripped up in my words and I start to sound kind of artificial. And I don't like that. I like it to be real. I'm not selling it. Call me the N word. Yeah.

Thanks, Tom. Does he want, but who does he want to, do you say he wants? An alien? An alien. An alien to crawl in his ass. Tongue. Right? Tongue his ass.

Tongue his rectum. Uh huh. Rectum too. Which one? There's so many. Does he want a, does he want a tall gray? Did you ever say rectum darnier killed him? You ever heard that?

Yeah, rectum darnier killed him. Yeah. Yeah. I gotta ask you this. Okay them, darn your killed them. Yeah. Yeah. I gotta ask you this, okay, I'm thinking about this. Sure. What is your take on the phrase shits and giggles? I don't know if I understand it. I mean I've heard that phrase for sure.

Have you ever said it? Just for shits and giggles? Yeah. I don't know that I've ever said that. So you wouldn't say it, right? No, I don't think it's in my vernacular at all. Okay, same with you, Christine. No, I don't say that. You would said that. So you wouldn't say it, right? No, I don't think it's in my vernacular at all. Okay. Same with you, Christine. No, I don't say that.

You would not say that, right? No. I feel like to me, that to say that is like extremely cringy. Like I would never say that. It's like no bull. It's no bull. Yeah. It's on par with no bull. My wife is a person, she's so far on the right spectrum.

She would never, like in a million years, ever say that. But I heard someone say it recently, and I was thinking like, I feel like that's like a litmus test for what type of person you are. Is will you- Totally. The expressions you use.

Yeah, but will you say shits and giggles? No. Like if you say shits and giggles, that means like, oh, you're just like a sweeter person than most, you know what I mean? Oh, you're nicer. You're a nicer, you're less liable to it. Because what happens is you heard that

and you go, that's a way to express myself. Yeah, yes. Yeah, and it's a summary of what you're doing there. And then they go, I'm gonna start using that. And they probably, that's the person who sends you, I don't know, like, you know people send you sketches that they find funny? I was like, what is this?

And they're like, did you see this sketch? Like Dhar Mann says shits and giggles, you think? No, because it's a curse though. Right. For craps and giggles. Shits and giggles. Here's the etymology of it. I don't like it either.

I don't wanna know either. I'm so bored by Sometimes I don't phrase It's old or even when people are like Why don't you tell me how you really feel? I feel like that's on par and I used to be for kicks Kicks and giggle just for kicks just for kicks is so much cooler like just for kids just and giggles is like Let's hear what I found on the interwebs today You're gonna find this pretty amazeballs, but on the interwebs I found a guy who has a two-headed peen.

Okay? How's that for shits and giggles? What do you say for shits and giggles I suck both tips? What do you say for shits and giggles I suck both tips of your double dang? It's pretty recent. the morph of it. It's gotta be. So for kicks, took off in the 70s. Cause that feels like something someone cool would say.

And that shits and grins seems to follow in 80s and 90s. I've never heard shits and grins. Shits and giggles is just hell. It looks like Austin Powers made it more popular. No way. That's what it says, yeah. See, that's all you gotta know, because Austin Powers is cringe. He's like the definition of it, right?

People who just go, yeah baby. You're like, oh fuck. That's what my coffee order is now. What's your name? Horny baby. Then you get to go like, they get to shoot you. They get to kill you on spot. There are people who still do Austin Powers stuff,

and that's a very cringe thing to do. I feel like it's gotta come back around. It's gotta be, for me, if someone laughs, be like, you get it. Well, do you remember how, so this is when something becomes, it's really funny, becomes accessible to more people, and then if everybody starts doing it, you're like, you can't, that happened with Borat.

Oh, totally. So like, Borat came out and we were like, that's the funniest fucking premiere I've ever been to, like for in the theater. But then when everyone's like, yeah, my wife. And like, you're like, mm, yeah, you can't. What else is like that? There's something else I was thinking. Oh, you know what it is?

It's the, oh, the Budweiser frogs too. Yeah, remember that? What's up, what's up, what it is? It's the, oh. Oh, the Budweiser frogs too. Yeah. Remember that? What's up, what's up, what's up? What's up? Oh, the first time I went to Mardi Gras was right after that. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss holding a hand grenade on the roof of the bus going, what is that? I heard it a thousand times in one day. Yeah.

Oh my God. Yeah, it loses the luster for sure. That's bad. I feel like cowbell for me. Oh, more cowbell. That's what it needs is more cowbell. I want to bring it back to where it's like this thing where, you know, that's what you gotta do.

When you're traveling, wear gloves, and have a huge, oversized, More Cowbell t-shirt, ooh. You're gonna get that bag. That's insanity. Yeah. Yeah. Like the guy who's like waiting for his road to be called. Yeah.

Right there, More Cowbell. Ha, More Cowbell. If you get heated when you have your More Cowbell thing on, it'd be pretty great. Oh, a video of a guy guy screaming being dragged off an airplane more cowbell It's got the more cowbell t-shirt on and like a David S pumpkins hat There's a couple there's some like have gone viral mugshots of people wearing funny shirts

Which is pretty great a more cowbell one would be. Yeah. Perfect. Priceless. Yeah, that also, that leapt over, oh, that's funny to like, it's not good. It's cringey. Like I think it'll be the ultimate picture on a dating profile. It's just, if you had all your photos

with a more cowbell shirt on, just to sort of, cause it would set, it would get the spicy Marg spicy marks crowd it would get them Yeah, like this guy said this guy's a dork. Yeah. Oh my god more cowbell. This guy's a dork. I like spicy marks I don't know what you I know what you're thinking for Sunday, but I had some amazeballs spicy marks. I Love just crazy eagles. I made him spicy just for shits and giggles, let's put an extra jalapeno on there. Fucking hell. Spicy Marks is like a disease.

I didn't even know that's a thing now. Oh, it is a thing. Spicy Marks? I know from some single people that they say like, this is like an epidemic on dating things. Spicy Marks? Is like women saying, weekends, you know weekends means spicy Marks.

Yikes. Like, oh God, that's your personality is spicy Marks. Well, like there's the weed is my personality is another one. Yeah, that's like a big one though. The weed is. I know, but when it's like they're like, when someone's profile is just like, here's weed.

Here's me smoking weed. Here's some weed I just got. Look at this weed. And you're like, that's weed. Here's me smoking weed. Here's some weed I just got. Look at this weed. And you're like, that's your identity. Weed, okay. It's all they have. It's just- I get it if you're fucking 16,

but when you're an adult, you're like, that's what I'm into, just weed. Maybe because if you smoke so much, your brain has been, I mean, cause weed is, if you smoke tons of weed, it's just as bad as being a drunk. Isn't it? There's people who have addicted to it

and they have to go to treatment. And it's not like a, remember some comedian being like, I know it sounds funny and everything, but I was like very addicted to weed in a way that was not funny. Like bad, like can't leave your house kind of thing. All you do is watch reality TV

and you're just in a fucking shell. I remember having friends who would just went from like, hey, I smoke sometimes to 24 seven. And what happened, what I noticed is that they just became like kind of numb to be around. You know what I mean? They were always like sedated. I guess that's how it affects me.

Maybe some people are like, yeah, it doesn't were always like, sedated. I guess it's how it affects, maybe some people are like, yeah, it doesn't affect me like that. Okay. Yeah, if you can still have a life and smoke weed, that's cool. But if that's all you're doing, it's a problem. It seems kind of lame. I had a friend who used to smoke so much weed, this is like in high school.

I remember one time we were in Blockbuster videos, this is how old this was. And I was like, Steve, are you super high right now? And he goes, no, I'm not high. Oh, right. Because he seemed weird, like he's acting weird. Like, oh, this is the one time he's not high. Yeah.

Please go back to smoking, you're so weird right now. So strange. We got this guy who had like a manmade paraglider, like, you know, with an engine on it. And so here's his 48 miles an hour so then he's okay he's fine so then we got this I mean no broken bones or anything then we got this hey everybody Anthony here this is day number three in

the hospital for me there was a small tension knot that I hadn't seen in spite of me checking the glider I hadn't seen it it was there I just didn't see it myself but in the camera footage if you look closely, you will see it. Here we go. Go ahead. Oh man. 48 miles per hour! Come on baby! Oh shit!

Fuck! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH A Ziri, call 911! Fuck! A-Zeri, call 911! Call 911! Emergency! Oh my fucking god! Help me please, I crashed my flying machine! Ah! Oh my god!

Okay, where are you at? So do you know where you're at? Uh, in the Enchanted Hills. I'm in the desert You're ready, you're ready, get the ambulance. Yes! I need to call my wife. Yes! Okay, hold on. Where's your wife at? In the house. Okay, let me get your... This is the best movie I've ever seen. I'm in the desert.

Sir, I know you said it's rented cars. Do you happen to have another soft drink? A crossroad? It's just cheap truck is fucking fun. Oh, fuck. No. This guy's like, I don't know what to do. He said you see an ambulance?

Yeah, my friends already went to... Okay. I crashed my para motor. I crashed the paraglider Yeah Yes, it's a powered paraglider it's like a backpack flying The guys came Wow, it's gotta be the longest minutes waiting for the fucking This is for real brah. I have it on my phone too. My phone. And the guys came. My right arm.

Wow. It's gotta be the longest minutes waiting for the fucking ambulance. This is amazing footage. Yeah. Touch your fingers, touch your shoulders. Probably wherever the deformity is. You couldn't like frame that shot better. No.

On the phone. You know what? This made me had to pee so fucking bad. Yeah, go home. Me too. He broke his back, his back, pelvis, neck and severely crushed my arm. Oh my god. I'm gonna take a piss, too. Okay We're back how was pee everybody? It was so good. How was your pee? Good so I have to pee so much. Yeah, so do I. Especially when I'm traveling. It's like my body's like, I don't know

Yeah I get that way too And then I actually dehydrate myself because I don't want to pee as much when I'm traveling, it's like my body's like, I don't know. Yeah, I get that way too. And then I actually dehydrate myself because I don't want to pee as much when I'm traveling. And then I can't make caca because then it dries out my poop. That's no fair. That's a thing that people have to deal with

is travel constipation. I do, and I do. How's your diet these days? How's my diet? Yeah. I mean, like, how is it? I mean, what how is it? I mean, what do you eat?

Yeah, like what's your, you know, what are you eating? I mean, same, I'm always having yogurt in the morning. Yeah. Always. If I can. Like a yogurt guy. What kind of yogurt do you have? I have a few different ones. So I have this, what is this brand?

I think it's like Norwegian or something. You don't know? No, I shouldn't know. He doesn't know, because I buy it. It's Skir. Skir? Oh, that's Icelandic. Icelandic. And then there's another one that we get

that's vanilla-based. Vanilla-based? Vanilla flavored, sorry. It's got sugar? It's a zero. No, it's a zero one. Zero, it's a zero one. Oh, you know what you should switch to is Sheep's Milk.

Sheep's Milk? Yeah, that's the ultimate shit. Sheep's Milk yogurt is the ultimate. Ultimate, how is it the ultimate? Because it's the best milk. Sheep's Milk is the ultimate milk, has the most vitamins, tastes the ultimate. Ultimate, how is it the ultimate? Because it's the best milk. Sheep's milk is the ultimate milk, has the most vitamins, tastes the best. Wow.

What are you doing here? Why are you not getting me sheep milk? And their fur is so soft. Yeah, you can make products with the yogurt too. How much yogurt do you have? Just one thing in the morning? Yeah, usually that, or I have a smoothie. Are you actually allergic to blueberries?

No. Okay, you just threw it away. I think nobody is. Okay, I love blueberries. Is that right? I love blueberries so much, I have I've eaten them I've I've taken like some huge blue shit voluminous Turns kind of green actually that's kind of yeah

I took one our national park once was eight like half a block of manchego Oh, I like a whole bowl of blueberries best. It was one of the greatest shits have ever taken. That's awesome It's like a specimen. That's awesome like an alien So colorful you ready Christine? I'm ready. I heard you bitches were looking for me I've never taken in my life. That's awesome. It was like a specimen. That's awesome. Like an alien. So colorful. Are you ready, Christine? I'm ready. I heard you bitches was looking for me. Oh yeah.

I can't wait. There you go. All right, Johnny. Oh, there's so many new lanes. It's time to dive deep into the mind of a psychopath. Christina has pulled some of her favorite TikToks. Russian guy feeding a bear. Standard Russian shit.

Oh, he's not full yet. That's so not enough food for a bear, right? It's so massive. Look at it, look at it. That spoon isn't big enough for a bear. No, just put the fucking face in the bowl. How much does a bear eat? To be fair, is it like a sheep a day?

It's gotta be just non-stop. Non-stop, right? Because they're omnivores, though. They don't eat meat, mainly. Sure. Eat a lot, okay? That's a snack. They love blueberries and blackberries and all berries. They love pine nuts, too.

Grizzlies will scavenge meat when available from elk and bison carcasses. Grizzly bears spend most of their time feeding, eating up to 30 pounds of food per day. That's like a job. That's a fucking job. That's a full-time job. All day. What do you do 30 pounds of food per day. That's like a job. That's a fucking job. All day. What do you do?

I just eat all day. That's all I do is eat. This guy feeds me. I like when you watch them get salmon. That's a toddler. And you catch them and eat them right there in the river. That's awesome. They're so dopey and silly looking.

Yeah. You don't realize that they can just absolutely. They have the small eyes too. And like when they eat salmon alive, so you see salmon like, and they're just like peeling its skin off and they're like, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. That's cool.

That's a rock client. I was fully panicking. Oh my God. Oh, I got that. The best thing you see people wearing like the hip clothes. Yeah, like the weird sports brand You see it got sandals on? Yeah So scary This is a rock climbing montage

It's terror God damn it Fuck it so hard Fuck it right in its butt hole You know what's less scary? Real rock climbing Yeah Oh

This is terrible Are you afraid of heights at all? No, I'm just afraid of like when it's like the thing that... I used to rock climb forever as a kid. You did? Yeah, all the time. I was really into it as a young person. Why did that change?

Just cause it's like, takes a lot of time. I still like it though. You know, I used to... Do you have really strong fingers and everything? Like I've seen some of those people like pull themselves up by their fingers. I can do a fingertip pull up. That's pretty crazy.

But that's just from doing pull ups, I think. Really? Yeah. Because they have like special drills. I see them with like these little finger holes. It's called a finger board, right? Yeah. And they pull them and you're like, holy shit.

Or the forearm strength. It's really impressive. But this sort of thing, this is not, this isn't real rock climbing. This is those installations they have so it's like you can experience the thing and some of these are actually incredibly dangerous because the way they have them set up. So you clip into a static line

and there's all these equations and stuff with how ropes work where the way this stuff works, if you fall maybe five feet, you can die because of the, there's no give in the rope kind of thing. It's this crazy bullshit. No thanks. This is so dangerous.

Yeah, looks like it. Oh. This is the entrance to a beehive that is inside my house. Inside? There's the outside. It's actually kind of cool. I thought we should do this for the kids.

Oh, Jesus. This is an observation high. What do you say, Tom? Can we just call it? That's kind of cool. That's super cool. Yeah. But imagine that ship breaks.

Yeah, that would suck. To these three boxes of bees. Your kid throws a rock in it. It's done. Yeah, maybe. In our house, that would definitely be broken. And there would be bees all over the house. All over the house.

And they'd be like, I accidentally threw the remote and it broke it. Dad, I flew him a lot. I'm measuring up. But then there's two more entrances. It's not that bad, right? It's just bees. It's just bees in the house.

All busy. Yeah, thanks dude. Yeah, but then every time you walk out your front door or whatever, there's just swarms of bees. Like it's a whole thing. But they're busy. There's a mirror, a big mirror that's hanging off the wall right now, big one. And I walked back and I was like, what happened here?

And he's like, okay, I was rolling the ottoman. He doesn't know the word, but he's like, I was rolling this thing and then it hit the side and then it fell. So that's what happened. I'm like, cool. Yeah, thanks man. And not only that, it was a heavy mirror. Yeah, it's a big heavy mirror.

Oh, so it could have been like, his arm could have been sliced off. That's true. But not only that, it took plaster off the wall as it fell because it was hinged in. And then the mirror, the edge of it collapsed, fell off. And they're like, he's like, but now it's all good because I didn't do it again I'm like yeah no it's broken now so that's

fine how long after it happened did you discover the later the day like a few hours later so they have this mirror just teetering there ready to be a guillotine on here that's pretty cool that's every day I don't know how people have kids then don't just how do you not constantly worry that they're just gonna get sliced that that that you do or how do you do your how do you not constantly worry that they're just gonna get sliced? That you do. But how do you go about your day? So you hope to scare them out of the vital stuff. Like, hey, don't put forks in the electric sockets.

Don't play with the toaster. Fire, bad. The oven, don't touch. So you get the basics. Knives, not for you. No more knives. But they're your kids. they're gonna be creative. Yeah, that's how they are. That's bad. They're gonna do something that like,

oh, I would never think you could do that kind of thing. Oh my God, I almost caught our little guy, they've got those little razor scooters and he was in the house with it. And I saw him wanting to go down the staircase and I was like, don't fucking do it. I see where your brain is going, don't do it. He's like, what, what? I'm like, I know what you was like, don't fucking do it. I see where your brain is going. Don't do it.

He's like, what, what? I'm like, I know what you're thinking. You can't do that. This is not a cartoon, dummy. Get a big piece of cardboard or take the wheels off of a skateboard and do what I used to do. Dummy.

Yeah, it is. If you leave them unattended, like they climb the garage. I'm sorry, we have a, what's that shit called, baby, the garage, open door driveway. Oh, the gate? The gate, we have a gate that opens to our driveway, and like I walk away for two seconds, I come back,

they've climbed the gate. I used to climb everything. I would climb up the chimney on our house. I put a fucking rope around the chimney and repelled from that. It's like, what if that thing had a crack in it and the whole thing just comes off? Or a climb this retaining wall we have behind our house

and this massive hill. This thing was made forever ago. All this stuff where- All boys are basically on inadvertent suicide watch all the time. For about 17 years. I don't know how I survive. I mean, the stuff we used to do,

I went down like the steepest hill in our town on a skateboard and fell on my face Like I used to like start fires all Everything was fires. Yeah used to make a little pipe bombs and stuff. Yeah Pipe yeah, why you know cuz cuz it's cool to blow up my hole Yeah, we should throw spray paint cans into fires that we made Mist yeah Yeah, we should throw spray paint cans into fires that we made. Oh yeah, that's fun. See the mist go up. Yeah, the mist. Yeah.

The mist. Yeah, that's fun. I had stuff in college where I'm like, why would I ever do that? That's boy shit though. That's testosterone, dude. It's insane. It's just like, I should have been arrested and dead multiple times. Yeah, every kid, every boy.

Potato guns. Oh, you should start crawling three times per week so your posture improves, guys. Your arms are more muscular and your upper back pain is gone. So this is if you start, there's a whole movement of tectonics. Do you have to look at people like that?

Is the stare necessary? You gotta have that vest on, that cool vest. It's a working dog's vest, right? Where they put weights. That's what I kinda do on this grass. You have to start crawling, Tom. Have you heard of the guys who do that thing where it's not crawling?

You're on your hands and your feet, not your knees down. Yes, yes. I do those inchworms that work out where you like, it's like a workout some guy taught me to do where you, you know, some guy. Some random guy. Some random guy taught me to do this exercise where you know, some guy. Some random guy. Some random guy taught me to do this exercise

where you bend over, you walk your hands out, do a pushup, then you walk your feet up with your hands still down. So you're like a little inchworm, but it's like a great exercise. You do like 10 of them and you're winded. But it's a good exercise, but I mean. Hotel room, you could do it too.

Yeah, or like just in a park like that. Sure. Well, there are people that train like dogs on their all fours. And then they can jump or horses rather. And they can run like that. And they jump and they run. It's very cool.

It's a whole thing, yeah. And this guy's different. And this guy's different. 26 year old at Disney. Okay, so first place I went to is Cafe Daisy. I got this watermelon lemonade. You're killing me right now. Look at how gorgeous.

It was so good, way better than I expected. Look at that. And then I got the dandy dog. I'd have to rate this as seven out of ten It was nothing special, but it was it also came with some chips which were okay Oh my god, that's part was I got the cheesy pizza flop over when they say cheesy It was so cheese my cousin gave me a taste of his orange Thirsty again, so I got this raspberry

Water then we headed over to Tiana's Palace and I had the house been gay How about water? Then we headed over to Tiana's palace and I had the house bengay Sounds sweet That's a bad beignet I can tell from your face Now for the best part I got the house gombo It's actually so good Rice was to die for What about in the afternoon? What did you have then?

Fucking A this is a joke No way Shop stop it These are so worth it you guys So worth it if you get anything get these apples We went across the water they hate our freedom Barbecue was so amazing literally so amazing

Also had to try the funnel cake. I would give this a six out of ten I've definitely had better funnel cakes, but it was definitely worth it. Lastly I went to the cheeky juice bar and had the strawberry tulip Shut up! Thanks for coming along y'all. Bye! That was so much fun It's all daytime still. Yeah, the entire time is daytime. Yeah. Oh, the rope that got dropped after that. Oh my god Big ol' sloppy rope.

This is a fucking rope, it's a fucking breaker, toilet breaker. If she had done a shit report after this, I would really respect it though. If she was like, here's my first dump after the funnel cake. It funneled out too. That must have been like 8,000 calories. And by the way, I don't agree that the Disney gumbo

was better than the beignets or the funnel cake. I think the gumbo looked like the worst. She gave that a 10 out of 10? That beignet was. It looked good. It was a bad beignet. I've eaten a lot of beignets. Yeah, you think that wasn't a good one?

Oh, I can tell. Yeah. I used to eat those. I gained a lot of weight on beignets. Really? Oh, for real. On the road, like working or? No, because we shot 21 Jump Street down there.

This is years ago. Yeah. And I had like, you know, I'd have like five days off. Yeah. And I would go to a comedy show, have four or five IPAs. Yeah. Then I would go to Cafe du Monde at one o'clock

in the morning and have a bunch of beignets and coffee. And go to Slate's Paper event. And I gained about 15 pounds. You go back for your next shoot, they're like, hey, you look different. Oh, my pants were tight. Really? They were literally tight, yeah. That's awesome.

Oh, but it was the best. A great hot beignet. Hot beignet. So good. Then having cake every lunch. Oh yeah. On that shoot? Oh yeah, like good cake every lunch. Oh yeah. On that shoot? Oh yeah. Like a good cake after having the greatest oyster po-boy.

Oyster po-boy. It's hard to say that. Oyster po-boy. Oyster po-boy. Oyster po-boy. Oh, this is a meme. So apparently Cinderella's, there's a new Cinderella castle that opened after COVID and people were doing videos.

In parentheses, emotional. Videos of themselves seeing it for the first time. So there's several adults that were doing this. Is this land or world? World, I believe. It looks like world, it looks a little bigger. Yeah, this is world. So Jesus.

Okay. And also you can pay to stay in the castle overnight, but you have to be very very VIP. Why are you that emotional? It's the castle for the first time. The first time I saw the castle, I collapsed. So there are people who make fun of it, but then these are the genuine ones. These are genuine people who did it first and then memes were making fun of it. This is going to get me back to Disney to make one of these. Yeah, I'm gonna make one. That's like fucking you're gonna have to call the Disney cops

It's like sir. Are you okay? It's like I you know just crying on the ground Oh my god the beauty I grew up loving the castle and now I get to see it in person. Yeah. Do you want to stay in the castle? That's so insane. So, and then there's like a hotel. I don't know if I put it in there. Is this it?

I don't know. So this is it. Look down. Look down. Don't look up yet. Don't look up yet. Wait, I'll tell you when. Everyone collapses.

First time since COVID. Seeing the Disney castle for the first time since COVID. Seen the Disney Castle for the first time since COVID. She died of a heart attack on Main Street, USA, and was run over by a horse. The horse shit on her and she lived after the shit. Oh, fuck. That right there is the jungle. And this right here is my house.

I moved to South America when I was 21 years old. This is called a tropical savanna. This is a beautiful place to live if you wanna be close to nature, but also not spend too much money. Now let's take a tour of my unfinished house. 4,000? Oh yeah.

As you can see, my view is beautiful. Right outside my window, we have the jungle right there, and the parrots and toucans usually fly around here. Oh, yeah, you can you can see my view is beautiful window We have the jungle right there and the parents and toucans usually fly around here The parrots will land in the tree the toucans like to fly back there near those palm trees and the monkeys like to hang out Right here. This is a personal video for a family member because it seems like he's telling someone specifically No, he's telling you how to get out of the capitalist trap that is the US and you can go live, was it Costa Rica, I forget where he is. He said South America.

South America for $4,000. You can see that branch with no leaves, that's where the monkeys are usually at. Anytime you say as you can see, you know something's up. $4,000 so far, I still gotta finish the bathroom. You gotta finish the lap house. As you can see, this is my blanket for the floor. And then I have to install the water.

Just look how beautiful it is here. Perfect. The ground is nice and fertile for planting stuff. You know his parents are like fucking Steve, left when he was 21. I don't know, he's somewhere down there. He's living in the jungle. I mean, I'm just mad about the toilet.

Like, there's no plumbing. There's no plumbing? He's gonna install water, he said he's doing that. He's gonna shit around this tree. You know that easy thing that people do, where they go, I'm just installing water in the house. I'm gonna make my own plumbing. Yeah.

I'm gonna make plumbing. I watched a video, it's fine, I know how to do it. I always feel like that's the career that I should have done. Plumbing? Plumbing? Because if you wanna make money. I know. Fucking just be at all good at plumbing.

Yeah. I know. And imagine if you were like, I thought I have a funny name from a company. You're a fucking millionaire. I know. You're a millionaire. Yeah. Just if you were like, have just a touch of savvy.

Plums away or whatever the fuck. Yeah. Fucking minted. I know dude. Flush again. Flush again. Flush again. Here today, flush tomorrow, whatever.

I have a message for you. Oh no. I love you. I love you. I don't like that. I love you. Okay, so this is a lane that I've been finding where just dudes are telling you they love you. It's like a self-help community.

Is this like, hey, if you're feeling scared right now, don't feel scared, because I love you. And it's okay, everything's okay. If you go to Verizon, there're uncomfortable, watch this video. Everything's gonna be alright. He's got that weird posture too. It's the thing where like the head forward, arms down. Hi.

I love you. Do you so you know, I would never love you. Do you show you know I would never hurt you? Just so you know if you think I'm gonna strike you I would not I would warn you I Would warn you if I did a stretch. I know you've experienced a lot of trauma in your life, but it's not gonna be for me I'm a good guy Excuse me. Hi. I would never hurt you. Excuse me. Pardon me. I Couldn't help but over notice that you are needing of love And the feeling of you get when you see someone approach you with a raised fist it will not be

In this pocket tea I have Something that you won't be good for you It is nothing that feeling that you felt when be good for you. It is nothing. That feeling that you felt when you first saw the castle at Disney World? Yeah. That's what I want to bring to you every day because I love you.

And they all have beads. I'm going on Naked and Afraid next week. Can we see it again? And beads around the wrist, beads around the neck. You have to have beads to do this. Message for you. Oh. So creepy.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Message for you. Oh. So creepy. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Got it. Is his IG full of this? Is it just this?

It says his name up there on the screen. It just took me down a rabbit hole of dudes that just tell you they love you. Yeah. It's like, just so you know, I love you. I love you. And you're like, oh. I'm uncomfortable. I'm seeing the ones you're like, oh. I'm uncomfortable. You see the ones that are like, uh, hi, I'm your Australian dad.

Yeah, I'll listen to you. How was your day? Oh, I was just, I'll listen to you. I'm your cockney fucking daddy. Are you in the back of an Uber and you're not feeling comfortable? Watch this video. Hey, everything's going to be okay, okay? Hey babe!

Are you in the back of an Uber? I'm petting your arm right now. Everything's fine. Watch this video. Hey, everything's gonna be okay. Okay Your arm right now everything's fine. Hi, I'm actually worse That should be the video should be is uh, how you feel uncomfortable well just be glad you're not with me So I'm gonna show you a sword this guy has this guy has a You can tell there's a whole lifestyle. Yeah from this video. Yeah, help guys. It's kind of like Late to the cult is it up you have it It doesn't look like he has too much more on his Instagram. I'm trying to see if he posted to another platform Oh, it's what does he have? Patreon

You can pay to get loved Hmm, this guy Aussie No Just like generic. I think you're thinking that the style of the shirt. It's very ex-pat Yeah, he's like I moved to ball. I and I love it here. It's just one guiding you. What does it say? Guiding you into your highest timeline. Oh, of course. He's a business wizard. Business wizard and mystic. I am love, play, joy.

That's the best thing to me when you combine the things. One post. You combine like, oh, I'm super high minded. I love a spiritual god. Also, how do you succeed at business? Oh, you can book an activation session with a wizard. A spiritual God. Also, how do you succeed at business? Yeah. Oh, you can book an activation session with a wizard. Sign up to become an enlightened leader. What's his one video of?

It says he has one post. There's a woman. Oh. Your love, your love in every single moment. I like her cat ears. Everything you do is perfect because you cannot make a mistake. She have a piercing?

Whatever is happening, whatever you're moving through, everything is perfect. The top is weird too. So stop, take a mistake. Should you have a piercing? Whatever is happening, whatever you're moving through, everything is a mistake. The top is weird too. So stop, take a moment. She's got a lot of piercings. Breathe and remember that you are love. You are love. So you can tell that she used to do meth.

You know what I mean? Yes. A lot of people are like ex-meth and this is what they have to do to not do Meth. So true. They have to live in the jungle and say I love you a thousand times a day. Otherwise, I'm gonna hit that.

The demons go right back. If I smell Meth, I have to do it. You have to. If I smell bananas, I have to do Meth. It's always great to have you here. Yeah. It's great to be here. Don't forget to go to Johnny Pemberton dot dog

For tickets to see him either July 21st in New York City August 28th in San Francisco or August 29th in Sacramento Don't forget to watch fallout on Prime video Yeah, and um That's it man. It was a blast. Thank you. I love you. Thank you. I love you. I love you. I love you I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you I love you Go tell dad. Go tell dad that you love me more Mommy mommy mommy loves you more than daddy Daddy daddy daddy doesn't know your middle name Mommy mommy mommy loves you more than daddy

Mommy mommy mommy is the best Daddy's gonna kill mommy in front of you Daddy daddy daddy's gonna slice her tits out Mommy mommy mommy will cry But new mommy will be more fun Mommy mommy mommy loves you more than daddy Daddy daddy daddy doesn't know your middle name Mommy mommy mommy loves you more than daddy Mommy mommy mommy is the best Let's bang chicks together The ultimate father son thing to do

You're up in her puss and dad's all in her mouth Let's try to finish up the same time Father and son, banging chicks Nothing like it, la la la Mommy mommy mommy loves you more than daddy Daddy daddy daddy doesn't know your middle name Mommy mommy mommy loves you more than daddy Mommy mommy mommy is the best