Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - No Pain, No Gain w/ Tony Hinchcliffe | Your Mom's House Ep. 718

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

SPONSORS:-Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.Welcome back to the mommy-dome with Tom Segura and Christina P! Tim and Kirstin try and help dig Nadav out of the hole of negativity he’s found himself in surrounding this marathon, and announce that there will definitely be a punishment under circumstances. We learn from our favorite cool guy who to pick up goth chicks, Gorlock the Destroyer, hear one of Tom’s drunkest stories and we have a HUGE announcement to share: Garth Brooks has completely blocked Tom on Instagram. We then welcome professional roaster, podcaster and comedian: Tony Hinchcliffe! Tony gives some incredibly supportive advice to Nadav, shares some Redban and Joey Diaz stories, and describes the liberty he gets to experience while doing comedy in Austin. They talk about how awesome Austin is (minus all the killings), Demarkco Flemming, and Tony shares his feelings on how terrible Whataburger is. We wrap up the episode with some of Christina’s most fear-inducing curations of TikToks.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

This week on your mom's house. It is. It is kind of American. You might just wake up in the year. My place is kind of American. Kind of. Clearly the worst medicine you could take for it causes internal bleeding. Which I think Demarco also causes it.

Stop complaining, start jogging. All right. All right. All right. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ SOTVA mattress company. I've been talking about them for like a decade.

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Well, there's actually two. One is that our very own native, the, as Jay Bird has he's known around these parts, has been challenged to run the New York City Marathon in November and he accepted, and everyone's very excited about that. You can't tell by his face, but he's thrilled to be doing it.

And we have, I'm lining stuff up. We've already- We've already- We'll just- We'll just- We'll just have- I mean, right now I got Mark Bell leaving me messages. I got the ways to well people reaching out

to do your blood work. I've got a couple other things, PT's that are gonna to be lined up and... Nutrition. Yeah, nutrition. We're covering the whole gamut and I've already spoken with agent genes. He's clearing our schedules for the marathons we can all attend.

We're all going to go. We're all going to go. We're all going to go? Yeah. The whole crew. I think the whole crew is going to... Everyone at YMages coming through. I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, cool. It. I think the whole crew is gonna everyone at YMages coming to I'm pretty sure yeah It depends like I might My might I don't know I might not like somebody and they don't come but everybody also come Yeah, cool. Yeah, but our schedules are cleared and we're ready. We're committed to you Yeah, you know, I've had it's cool to see you guys are so excited and I love seeing you guys happy. Yeah But something in my head is I don't know what it is. Yeah, what is it? I can't even articulate it. Like one thing for sure, I definitely need to get back

into therapy because this is, it's complicated emotions that I'm feeling. Like, and I don't even know how to articulate it. I was talking to my girls, talking to my mom, like over the week and they're like, hey, is, are you okay? I'm like, what? And you're like not listening,

like not listening. But do you think it's, I'm like disassociated? Okay, do you think it's just because all you're thinking about is what sucks about running and then you're like, man, it's just gonna, I'm just gonna suffer. This is just about five months of suffering. They, yeah, I'd,

let's say that's probably a big slice of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just gonna be a complete lifestyle change until the marathon. And I mean, also you guys are gonna have all these acidic juice waiting for me at the finish line. That's kind of upsetting. Like,

that's hard. But you're transforming. I mean, it's scary to change. It's scary. You have to give up things to gain things. And I mean, I was looking at like some of the stuff too, like, I mean, I feel like I do my best googling, not on the show.

Yeah. But I was looking up these timetables. Yeah. And on 34, let's round me up to 35, at a beginner rate, just under five hours. Yeah. Which is right under, I mean, and Bert came in right at average where he should have

Well, he did it number years ago a number of years ago sure yeah Well, I mean yes still kind of close at five hours and 20 minutes I got you but then like I also like read the rest of that paragraph like how long it took him to run Instead of feeling a runner's high Christchurch felt the pain of long distance run for months. We didn't prep. You really do. One thing I've noticed in these conversations,

you really latch on to the pain aspect, like that this is all gonna be painful. I've been hurt a lot, Tom. And I know what it feels like. I think that's what it is. Like if you've never broken bones, torn ACLs, thrown out your back, you just have like a childlike wonder about you

going around like the world. But it's like anytime I see someone jump on a trampoline I'm like, oh god, watch out. Well, have you been injured running? Ever since I tore my ACL, I don't run and I don't jump. How did you tear your ACL? Freak trampoline, actually. Okay, so we're not asking you to trampoline.

But it's impact. It's an impact. Jumping on a trampoline is different than running and being trained. Here's the thing, you're not gonna run like a fucking deer into this thing. Yeah. You're gonna learn, no really, it's about doing this low speed,

low impact, you know, it's a style of running that actually takes a minute to learn because you're not going to be just sprinting at at this rate. And look, man, if your body really rejects what you're doing, then it's going to reject what you're doing. But you're not just going to be thrown into the fire to try to get, we're not always trying to hurt you, you know? Right, no, no, and I can't tell you how great as I am that both of you guys are offering, like the amount of help that you guys are offering to get me there is fucking insane.

Like it's absolutely insane that. Like, and this was all kind of stuff that I've already kind of wanted, like get my blood work done, figure out where I'm lacking, like in all these things and like getting back in it. Cause yeah, I'm like the unhealthiest that I've been in a long time, part of it, you know, having to do going to gambling

where you have those are pretty low part for me. That's true. So, you know, a lot of comfort eating, a lot of that stuff. So it's like I've kind of like, you know, it's just the transition between getting in shape, setbacks like three steps forward, and it is an adjustment is going to be

completely adjusting your diet. Right. Doesn't mean you're not gonna eat. It's just right. Right, and like I'm okay with it, but it's almost like it's the 4am wakeups. It's the two of days. It's like it's not just the food that's gonna be different.

So I think I could get myself to like the food that's come, it's that's gonna be different. So I think I could get myself to like the food that's coming. It's everything is gonna change. And I'm a creature of comfort. Yeah, I'm a creature of comfort. So I think that's probably like a great, so yeah. Yeah, I do think you should get that therapist on the line. Not yeah, me too.

Yeah, I've been meaning to do that for a minute. That'll, I think it'd be good to express it. Because in the dog too, this will be an extreme thing, that you're working towards. But then after, you don't have to wake up at 4 a.m. and run for the rest of your life, but you could calibrate these good habits. Maybe it's just 10,000 steps a day after this.

Maybe your diet gets cleaned up and you have long-term change. Yeah. Yeah. So don't think of it as a lifetime of suffering. It's just a finite thing. And then you, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So don't think of it as like a lifetime of suffering. It's just a finite thing and then you, you know. Nah, yeah, it's just the first time I've called myself dissociating for over.

Wow. I'm just like, I'm never even so afraid of it. I've never even felt, I don't think I've ever felt it to this level where people are like, are you okay? But even that what you're saying right now is a real sign to analyze, right? Yeah. And that the thing that is making you dissociate

is objectively a good thing for you. And that is scary and you're dissociating from that. So it's like, what's really going on? Do you want to, you can keep living the way you're living, everything, you know, you're not gonna pay the price for that in the short term. Or it's like, look better, feel better, be healthier, longevity, move better,

have more energy, all these things that are huge, huge benefits, but it'll take, like, you know, discomfort to get there, or it's like, I don't wanna deal with that, just go back down this path. And even the fact that you're aware that you're dissociating it is like informative, right? It informs you of like,

No, yeah, I'm very emotionally aware of like where I'm at. Like I have a hard time explaining why I'm there and stuff, but like I know what I'm feeling at all. Yeah, it's scary. Yeah, it's scary, like I have a hard time explaining why I'm there and stuff, but like I know what I'm feeling. Yeah, it's scary. Yeah, it's scary, but there's a thing you have a huge support network. Yeah, and again, I can't say how appreciative I am. I know like part of this is the fun and watching me suffer, but really the underlying thing is like you guys, you guys, you guys like care. We do care.

We do care. And we're not going to let you, we're not going to just throw you into the fire. And we'll figure out look we're gonna figure out with this time like I don't want to focus on the time that you have to do Because four hours and twenty I really think that's not the thing to focus on. I think we'll figure out that time There will be a reward For getting there in another time. I think what's more exciting is a punishment That's something we didn't talk about that's correct there in another time, I think what's more exciting is a punishment if you don't. That's something we didn't talk about. That's correct, my friend. Because that is what excites me.

Same. You know, if there's like a- That's not so much cooler for you guys. Negative reinforcement is always the crux. I gotta have something to look forward to, you know. Like I'm sitting here being like, yeah, yeah, get healthy. But like for real, I wanna see him suffer. Yeah, yeah, of course, of course.

So what can the punishment be if you fail? I don't know. I mean, because he's prone to, you know, we got him a little, like, hurting. I know. We got to get that shit. I'm like, my legs. Yeah.

Ira's got to just show up and do it. So I've got blood clasp. Hey, my bag. I'm gonna get a Jewish cyclist. I don't know. I mean, I'd love someone to hurt him, but I think that the thing, I think the, I don't know, what can we take from him?

Full chest piece, like, it'd be a pretty big punishment to like not be buried next to my grandparents, yeah. Get it tattooed. Ooh, what's the tattoo saying? I'm slow. F-G-T-R-G-E. Irish pride, you know. I'm not, I'm Russian proud.

Kiss me, I'm Irish. What tramp stamp? Celtic flag. Yeah, but it on tramp stamp. Yeah, no, huge, oh, calla hand. That's awesome. That's awesome. Athletes do it.

That's awesome. That's awesome. They do it over the brand of the black beer. Irish pride. That's amazing. Athletes do it. That's awesome. They do it over the bed. I respect that. That's amazing. I can't do that. That'll get me cute. Like if I am.

No, no, no. There is. If I am, I'm going to run. I don't think I'll ever be in prison. But if I am, and I take my shirt off, there's going to be very clear lines. I need to follow or I'm going to get fucking cute. We're not going to prison

I was pride that's what it's a cult of it's good motivation If you don't do it and you're gonna do it. Yeah, stop complaining. Start jogging. All right All right, let's start the show here we go. Are you ready Jane? Yeah, it's the special one just for you. Oh shit How to talk to emo and god bitch Yeah, it's the special one just for you. Oh shit. How to talk to emo and God bitch Now emo and God's bitches are pretty much the same. They both think that the world is fucked up Yeah, it's just like the emo bitch blame herself for it the God bitch love that shit Now we know how to navigate going forward It's gonna be hard for you to get one of these bitches without having some kind of common interest

Cuz just like fat chicks they know that some of us only look at them for a fetish. So here's the game plan. I need you to study up on their culture and put that shit in the bag. He's right. He's writing a picture at a goth or emo concert or a venue. Post that shit on a dating profile and make your entire profile about your love for that culture.

You're gonna turn off a lot of other bitches, but fuck them holes. We're looking for that one. Stay focused. Mm-hmm. Let's sit up and talk. Oh my God. This guy's the best. He's the best. He gets me. He gets it. bitches for fuck them house we're looking for that one stay focused guys the best he gets me he gets it it's fucking right stay focused Welcome to your process! I'm gonna go for it. Bro.

What's up, dog? This guy is so fucking spot on. Yeah. Like, here's the deal. I don't know much about emo because that's lame shit. That's not my vibe. Yeah, here's the deal. I don't know much about emo, because that's lame shit. That's not my vibe. Yeah, it's okay.

So head to his foot. As a hardcore goth, he's absolutely right. Gothchicks and goth people. Can you imagine you telling people you're goth today in this thing? I'm freezing. That's why I wear my ski jacket in here.

It's freezing in here. You look like you're going skiing right now in the Sun Valley Idaho with some of the other CEOs And you're like who tells them about being got I'll bring in picture Merger in acquisitions talk on here listen. I'll bring can we insert a photo? I'll bring in I'll give you some credit some street cred later. Okay, so he's right the the pride being goth is that you point out that other people aren't as goth as you are.

It's so fucking immature and lame. I've heard you do it for 20 years. I love it. Like fake ass goth. They're called weekenders. We're like, you're like a hot topic goth, we're a weekender. So the fact he's absolutely right.

He's like me with my Harley, a lot of guys. They think I'm not about that life cause I only ride on Saturdays and Sundays. That's pussy, yeah, but don't bike bikers, that's what they're call right bikers. They think that's lame as shit. That's weekenders. Yeah, weekenders are fucking lame, bro.

So it's all about living that golf life 24, seven and representing our, we count, Chocula for breakfast, bro, to sit in the dark. Yeah, you don't go on the fucking son. I didn't get a suntan for a decade. I was got more room, you wanna hear it? Oh, he's the best. Yeah

When you finally get her I need you to know that underneath all that black eyeshadow and nails and shit It's just another bitch Like she's normal and then sprinkling some of that bullshit that you learned earlier. Yeah, bitch will be spellbound Also look the part spellbound Suzy's on and Dallas cowboy jerseys don't mix. That's right. Yeah, that's right He's a hundred percent right and I would smell that out and be like that guy's a poser. Yeah, I was game games game God, he knows everything. Yeah, he does And also there's a lot of in if I were to do a Venn diagram, there's also a lot of overlap in the Goth community and FATCHIC community.

There was a lot of FAT Goth girls too. So there might be some in that too. Oh, wow, yeah. Cool. There are some FAT Goth girls. There's a lot of FATs, I was, yeah. There's a lot of Disney gots too, that's a whole thing. You know the big fucking fat Mexican trans chick that's like all over all the internet right now.

Wait, which one? Warlock, the Gorlock or whatever, the destroyer, the- How did I miss out on this? You haven't seen this? No, you know I'm on the dark side of talks. I don't do normal people dick TikTok. This fucking chick, she blew up because, well, because she ate a lot, but she got a lot of press

because she did a big podcast. There's like this big dating podcast. Okay, oh this girl. This one. Yeah, you sent me this meme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. She thinks she's amazing, right?

And every, every day, I see a new thing from her. I wanna know the backstory though, behind this person before they. Fat Spanish girl podcast. Yeah, I mean, she's everywhere. She's everywhere. They do these, the first one I saw was,

was her being dubbed. Aww. When she spoke, they just put Java the Hut over her voice. It's fucking crazy. Okay, but big goth chicks are also, no, yeah. The bigger goth chicks,

she's really something else. Yeah. Foo-fah. Is she trans? I mean, yeah, she's always like, I can get any man I want. Okay, but here's the deal. And here's the deal, man.

Is that at least she's trying to look like a girl. And I do give her mad props for that. A lot of these trans are very lazy. They don't try to jazz up doll up Then and no one knows this person's story, right? Does anyone know? Who I do like her purple hair. You're right. I'm deep dive on it. She looks good with purple hair. Yes, I like that Yeah, see that's that's got the chase See that's that's got the Jason Yeah, thanks to it

This poor woman But isn't she saying it's so it's not just sort of appearance is that she's saying crazy stuff to like well It's like like she's just like I can get any man. I like I don't know go go up to go to the profile and like go to Down To the one on the podcast. I don't know what Clipdice is, but it's probably a clip from the show.

Maybe she's saying some wild shit here. But I'm rich and I'm pretty. So it's just, no. That's a clip from SupMouse. So she does this thing where I'm a bad bitch. Yeah, like Lizzo. Yeah, I'm baddie vibes only. Yeah.

And then people are like, stop. But don't you find that attractive a little bit, that arrogance? Uh, no. Okay, I'm just, you know, I'm trying to help route, trying to help a bitch out. But goth chicks have a very stylized look. So if she were this big and goth,

I feel like when somebody has that like real, I love myself thing. Yeah thing and it's genuine. You don't, you actually don't hear them say it. You don't have to say it. Yeah, you just see your like, this person doesn't give a fuck with anybody, the things and when people are like, I don't give a fuck, you know, it's different.

Yeah, it's different, it's different. Yeah, but these, Well, that's always a trouble when the picture with the middle finger. The double bird is always a good look to. She's hanging below the screen, the cap. I wish. I mean, because of this. Big, big, good. A good vice. He can. No, isn't that me. So, yeah, no, she's not good. Take that down. Okay. Feel sick inside. Yeah.

Not good, take that down. Take it down. Okay, feel sick inside. Yeah. You know how we were talking to Tom Papa, like you go to other people's profiles to feel better. Yeah. That was like a sorbet, right? No.

I'll go back and back into my back. Back. I'm not looking. It's puke, babe. No, no, it's not. You said it. No, he's drinking. He's puke.

No, he's not eating. He's just drunk. I like the music. He's just drunk. Babe. He's just drunk. Great. Oh, man. Okay, that was great. Thank you for playing that. I like music.

I like that. I actually like whatever they're playing. It'd be kind of weird though, right? If you were like, I bought a ticket to the show. That was there. That was me. Puked on me. I feel like what happened? Wasn't there a time where you were so drunk and you were telling a story?

Can you please tell this story? This might be one of my favorite things. Oh my God. I wish I could reach out to it. Because I don't remember any of the names. So I was working at Copelson Entertainment. I could reach out to, because I don't remember any of the names. So I was working at Copelson Entertainment for people that don't know.

Copelson was the people that did the fugitive. Those are like my favorite genre of films. And so I'm sitting there, interning, and then I become a do a script, treatments where you read scripts and you break down, you do the synopsis, log line, and you have to talk about, like, you have to write up what's good about script,

what's bad script. And so there's a little bit of a camaraderie amongst people like me, the interning there, and assistants. And all of them have aspirations to be executives, like running studios and things like that. And I know that I'm not going to do that. And so I'm like, but they're all young. They're all the assistants are young

And so one weekend this group We all go out And we start at one bar and we go to another bar and I'm drinking crazy and what I'm sorry. I'm just like excited to hear I think I I think I just have like a lot of anxiety about how to be in this environment and I start drinking a lot, I'm drinking a lot. I'm having, I forget what it was, but it was definitely, I'm drinking mixed drink like cocktails, you know, like screwdriver or like jack and coax or something. And I'm putting them down. I mean, I'm putting them down one after the other after the other after the other.

I'm probably 10 or 12 deep in these. 12. And we end up, what was the, it's like it's called a, it has a sushi, it was a sushi bar on sunset. Oh, Miyagi's. Miyagi's? Yeah. We're at Miyagi's. And we're standing around and it's pretty late. And we're in a circle

and I start telling a story. I'm like, I'm holding court and it's like a full circle of people. It's like four people from the office and then a couple other people that are just like kind of with us, you know, like someone's girlfriend, someone's boyfriend. And as I'm talking, and I have a friend with me, I just, I talk and I, I just in the middle of the story, I vomit, like I puke. And on the floor at Miyagi, like a huge pool of vomit. And the reason that I even know the story because it was told to me, I don't remember it. I had like vague memories of it. But the person I was with goes,

so you vomit all over. And then you do that thing, like you know when someone's done puking where they spit, they go like, he's like you spit. You spit a bunch. And then in your bent over, he goes and then you stand up, and you go right back to your story.

Right? And I was like, what did you guys do? He's like, we were all like, oh my God. Like, what was happening? And, but, what were you talking to me about? I don't remember, I don't remember I was telling them, but what was happening? And... But, well, were you talking to me? I don't remember, I don't remember what I was telling them, but I was like, listen to me, you know? But it must have been so important to you,

for me, I was like, this is a funny story. Yeah, hold on. And then the guy says, and then, yeah, and then I'm like, hold on, hold on. So we got back in the car, right? Everybody's like, you just threw up everywhere. Everywhere.

So I go back, I don't go back. I'm taken back by my two roommates at the time to the apartment. My one roommate helps place me in the bed and face down because they're like, he's gonna puke again. And guess what? I puke again. I just, when I wake up, my pants are off, I mean, I'm just like, how did I get here?

And I walk out into the living room. That part I remember and I'm just like, how did I get here? And I walk out into a living room. That part I remember and I see Chuck, and I was like, what happened last night? He's like, oh, you're alive dude, that's good. And I'm like, what? I'm like, did we? And he's like, bro, like, he, and that was a full blackout drunk experience.

And the other part that was crazy, he recapped that whole story to me and like getting me back and he was like, you were such a fucking lunatic, is that I had to go back to work. Oh fuck, you know, like, it's the worst part. And they were all like, how are you? Go story. And then you can see like their eyes are like, this guy is a different guy. How are you? Cool story. And then you can see their eyes are like, this guy is a different guy. Yeah, yeah.

But what a valiant effort to finish the story. That's so cool. Yeah, that's what was important to me. Well, I got a funny story. But you're a storyteller and you know even back then. I knew that. You got to finish the bit, man. I'm not going to just bail on this bit.

You guys are gonna laugh. That's the best part. I think that makes me love you even more. Thank you. That's why I fell in love with you. Huh. And then the guy. Huh.

Well, you'll wanna hear this. You wanna hear this, this is pretty big. Oh, okay. Oh, a cat eating kiddle, big. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Does again you bigger than this in there. Oh, wow. This is a YMH exclusive. Huh. Well, it finally happened. Um, and I didn't think it was ever going to happen, but it is official now.

Garth Brooks has blocked me on Instagram. Oh, no! Can you pull up his stuff here? I think the... Why? What a fucking lunatic. Why would you do that, Greg? Go to his actual account page real quick.

You could. Oh, that's him. There he is. So. Oh my gosh. Yeah, this is, I'm trying to remember the, there he is, it doesn't come up for me anymore. The last, by the way, how weird is that poster,

the plus one poster there on the right? Yeah. It's like, just hold on to my guitar. Yeah, what is that? He's bummed out. He's sad. He's in the green room. Can you scroll?

I'm trying to find out the last time I comment. Could I do comment? I don't comment that often, but I did recently, and it was one of my last ones. And you didn't even realize that would be your last one. I didn't realize, like, I hope it was a good one. Oh, god, these are so creepy. And then his smile, so inauthentic.

Oh, that's a photo. That one's fucking weird. Yeah, that's not welcoming. Go that way. That one's from November. Okay, go to, yeah, above it. I mean, like, click on, start clicking on them. He does look better though. He looks good now

Okay, he didn't get that one. He got red during the pandemic Yeah, oh there you know what? Maybe they're oh no, they're still why I make comments because if he blocked you then all of your comments would be Stric and oh they would. Yeah. I was looking for like the last time. Right. I would have, look at that big dumb hat. It's fit.

Oh, it's so big. Yeah. Look, it's all YMH comments. Yeah, I was wondering. So funny. Go to the next one. Yeah, hit that. Let's see.

Dolly Parton. I need a man who wears a cowboy hat. Mm, all right, maybe he's trying to, it seems like he's getting a little more like real comments, you know? Well, this is Dolly, you know what I'm saying? Hit that. Hit that.

You know? All right, that's her post. Yeah. Reba, like we're not gonna, yeah. Why is, when is Garth using lung infection as instrument? Yeah. Oh, like a Reba and Garth back in the day. Back in the day. His or tight jeans on reba and Garth back in the day. Back in the day.

His or tight jeans on him. Look at his dick in that one. Look how tight that is. There's Dolly. She said when we watched that little red smoke in the band, you were like, look at that dick in it. Well, the pants are too tight. I couldn't help but notice it was for me.

Look at her. She's the best. Yeah. Does it feel funny to hold hands? I have beards real dark. Yeah. Like, sigall dark. Going back to that. Yep. But he does look better than he did before. Vegas begins Wow Okay, I have two tickets sure will love your music and your humor Okay, that's not all right. That's fucking weird. Is shit to write that Tommy wants to play basketball Leave Tilo. No, they know. So that's just recent, right?

That's like, so yeah, it's, anyway, so I can't, I don't even see him on Instagram anymore. It doesn't even come up from it. Oh, no. You're gonna miss all this. Which is weird because I've been to profiles what says you're blocked by this person, but you still see their profile. And like, if I go to his profile, it just there's nothing there Do you understand are you sure you don't mean that it says when you block someone? It says that it's not say that someone blocked you. No, I've definitely gone to a profile of someone I followed and it says

You like it says blocked from this person. I think I've seen that on Twitter, but Instagram is also a little bit like- Or it says constantly changing though. Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, it's been a while, but- It's devastating. Yeah, it's- I can't imagine why he would do that. I know. You've been nothing but supportive and kind.

It's very strange. Let's see some video. This, like some of his more recent things that I got real excited about. Oh, look, there's an any comment. We had a lot of people asking where the music was. Cap. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you see that big ass cap in the other fucking photo? Yeah. Home, he's capping all the time, man. So this is him. This is what I love. This is such a, it's such a country guy thing to do too.

Yeah. He's unboxing his own stuff and is getting excited about it. You know, so he's playing the part of a fan for the unbuck, let's see it. You live with these things, you live with these things year in advance, but you create them, you're part of everything, but the unboxing up in for the first time. Of my own music. Always the greatest thrill. That up and for the first time. My own music. Always the greatest thrill.

That wasn't for the first time. So beautiful. There's the book and Solitude 2. You might have one N3 already. I'm gonna complete your collection with Anthology 2. Let me take a look. I'm excited, just gotta see one thing. It just, I love this.

These things are so well placed. It was delicious. That on the first Anthology. We had a lot of people ask me where the music placed. It was still listening to scenes. That was on the first anthology. We had a lot of people asking where the music was. It's fabulous. So it's so smooth and it's so beautiful. Pictures of me. I just love this.

Things I've said. I'm sorry, Garth Brooks anthology too. There's your ships. So people asking where the music was. Niggas the first page. Yeah. That's a stupid. You don't usually know.

And like also, how much money does this guy need? I mean, isn't he a good-gillian? And he already is hawking his anthology. And why are we stopped? Did he do the thing where it was it like Star Wars where he's like, there's anthology one and three. Now I'm releasing anthology, too. Like, he went back in time to release a different anthology.

It's so strange. Oh, there's trash on him. What's going on? Okay. Trish looks good, too. Buddy, it's so strange. Oh, there's trash on him. What's going on? Okay, what's going on here? Trish looks good too. Buddy, Garth Brooks here. And guess what? Habitat for Humanity is back on the road.

That's right, the Carter work project returns. And they're gonna come to Charlotte in October of 2020. He can't do it. We can wait to see you there. We can't be sincere. And right in Carter's, will not be here. They're enjoying their retirement back in Plaint's Georgia. So the building is up to you and us. Let's do this for them. Let's do this for us. Do it for yourselves. Hey man

This is some weird shit. We're a fact that every time there's something charity related That he's like hey, uh, um, hey, uh Jimmy. What emotion should I do for charity? And They're like just laugh it up. And he's like, okay. Well, why is Habitat- Actually, the refugee. Yeah, the refugee, he's laughing at the refugees and the Habitat for Humanity.

Why are you laughing? You don't know how Habitat for Humanity is building homes for people that don't have them. Yeah, it's not funny. You know, he's like, Habitat for Humanity's back. We're gonna build some houses for four people. Yeah. He's laughing for no reason. It's beyond drugs. Beyond state. For Ukraine. It's like, this is not the time for catchy funny shit. Yeah, it's just so bizarre. He cannot do

a normal post to save his life and that one that we played recently He can't do it about I'm gonna change the world with this post and they're like, oh, yeah, what is about merch? Oh, right. Are you ready for this? Yeah, and the guy's like yeah, he goes Treat people the way you want to be oh my god, you know, just right. I where is he getting the shit from? People are way you want to be trained. Yeah. That's it. You don't want charged five times what it costs to make this shirt. How much is it cost to see Garth in concert? How much is the ticket?

Well, he was big on... I have a very accessible ticket price. That was his big thing. And then I think this Vegas show is where it all went sideways because people got really upset about the Vegas ticket prices. Like really upset. Well, he's not, he's got to sell his anthology now too. Yeah. I mean, he's just a humble pie guy, right? Doesn't he just have a tractor and a farm? How much of those? How much? right? Doesn't need to have a tractor and a farm. How much are those? How much?

729 tickets, $891. For dollars. Yeah. I want you to pay $37. What? Per ticket? And what's that front section there right by the stage? 8009, from 899. From.

That's what people got really pissed about. Well, of course, this is, this fan base isn't. And this from stuff up. So, so what? So these are second hand tickets, this from this. And this is from Stubbub. So, these are secondhand tickets, right? Yeah. So, they're probably, so all the original tickets are probably already all sold.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Taylor Swift was at $3,000. But that's also second. I mean, what happens is these really big artists, the tickets get scooped up and then they go straight to Scotland. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, he's really got a, so I someone goes straight to scalpel. Yeah. Yeah.

But I mean, he's really got a... I'm so excited to unbox my own shit. Tom, when you get your album of your hour, are you going to be super pumped to unbox it? I'm going to do an exact... Yeah, I mean, who stoked to look at their own shit like that? Oh, man, when you hold it for a long time. Oh, my. And CDs.

How do you even play a CD anymore? Yeah, I don't know, man. Jesus. Consumption CDs. He do you even play a CD anymore? Yeah, I don't know man. Jesus. Consumption CDs. He's yeah. And what are you seeing there? $1500 for upfront. Wow. A ticket? Yeah. Wow. For at least that like right. Wow. This is for his residency, his Vegas residency.

And everything else is already sold out. Well, you know, I'm just a good guy. Just a down home fella. And, you know, three people the way one can treat it. Had you tapped for humanity. I really liked that. Well, I'll say this. I'm very hurt that I'm blocked, but...

It's a devastating news. Yeah, it's like... I thought we'd get to this point at some time, you know. And then I thought I was actually in the clear. I just thought that point at some time, you know, and then I thought I was actually in the clear. I just, I thought that they were just going to, you know, why push back, just going to create more fire for him, but, you know, I'm just, I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to let the conversation begin. Hopefully, we can have a dialogue at some point.

I mean, just, oh, but Garth open your hot and your arms to me to me Yeah, give time another chance He's a caring Christian man. I've always been a big you know, I'm I'm definitely upping the engagement on your stuff For sure. Yeah, you're helping him get that that nice Instagram audience. Yeah, digital age Come on man. We're nothing but love cards. By the way, you know, Sexy Rex. Sexy Rexie? Who can forget him?

So, this was Sexy Rexie here. There he is, there's our guy. And we discovered him, and then we spoke to him. Yeah. And then right after we spoke to him, they did another post. Look at that one. Man. Where he's in the sauna, he's in a Turkish bathhouse.

That looks great. Yeah, click that. Look at how jacked he is. So jacked. So jacked. He's got two foots he's on him. Yeah. One's covering his dong.

Yeah. He says he never goes in for the kill. I know what I look like. I've been six four since I was 19. When a guy in my size makes a move, it can be frightening. So I let the woman lead. I know that when she's ready, she'll let me know. She'll give me the cues. Only when that happens, will I pull out the magic wand. This is important. I always ask, if you had a magic wand, what would be your perfect man? I let them tell me how they want to be treated,

and then I follow instructions. I can't tell you how many women have told me, wow, you don't go down on me like a guy. Most men just put their whole face in it, way too much, especially if they're stubble involved. I'd personally recommend shaving your face right beforehand. Shave that shit down until it feels like a baby's ass. If you're not gonna do that, at the very least, you've got to lead with the lips. Use the tongue gently. And don't go straight for the clitoris. Aim for one o'clock.

I'm gonna puke, dude. You can't go wrong with one o'clock. But don't just park at one o'clock, travel all around. The entire area is sensitive. With men, it's all about the penis. But with women, it's all about everything. Except the butthole. This one is so important.

The balloon knot is not for you to touch ever, not even once, unless you've asked. Rex is right. Even then, there's got to be preparation unless you want the whole house smelling like baby diapers. So always ask, always, always ask. Ask if she's comfortable with fingers.

Ask if she's comfortable with penetration. Ask if she's interverbal. A lot of women don't want to hear a fucking word. It scares them. So you better ask. Also in this one might be surprising, a lot of women don't want to go face to face. If you're kissing them or being too intimate, they might lock up. They'll make it very clear that the intimacy scares them.

It's a heartbreaking thing because it usually means there's been some trauma. If that happens, just stop. Just stop and hold them. Don't ask them to explain unless they choose to tell you, just hold them. Maybe the sex will come later when they're more comfortable. Maybe it never comes at all and that's fine. Just be a gentle soul. They can hold for as long as they need.

All right, Kaz, let me make my pussy drier than hearing all that. Yeah? That was a whole, it's too much. Yeah. I don't like to hear his details about going down on the knees. Well, people got really, I mean, that's 171, what are the comments under this one?

Because we just missed out on that. This is a lot for a Monday. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Really is. Oh, man. Yeah, sir, this is a Wendy's. Yeah, well, he definitely does understand boundaries. I would say that I would give him I know, but I also don't you feel like Tom that There's a level of communication that's

Vital and necessary, but then there's like over communication. Yeah, and I don't want to be telling him everything Can you listen to me for night? I'm listening. I'm just saying that also with your partner there should be a level of unspoken communication that you should have in order to be compatible. Right? Sure. And like, I think he's right. Like he probably is a great lover because he asks all these things, but I would be so fucking annoyed if he's like, do you like a noob? Oh no, it's like I'm a suist of wants to know too much. Just do it. I would be so fucking annoyed if he's like, do you like a no? I don't know. It's like, I'm a suist. I'm not too much.

Just do it. I think he would. Just fuck, let's fuck. Come on man. Let's see, that's what he would read from you. So you're saying that? Or just shut up. Yeah, just that one.

I want to enjoy what you do. He would pick up on that from you. Rex is not a fucking adult. He'd be like, oh, this whore just wants to fuck. And he would just, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I also want to experience who he is.

Do you know what I mean? If somebody's just here and what are you doing? You don't know what they're into. You don't know what they're like. What do you like, motherfucker? Yeah. And the fun part is also experiencing how that person is. Yeah.

Cause I'm like, that's who you're gettin'. Yeah. Long time. What do you think about that? That's who you're gettin'. You really wanna know what I like and he just cracks you across the face. Great. Perfect.

So I'd rather take that than like, does this feel good on your pussy? How about now? Am I licking right? I'm just shut the fuck up, dude. Right? I'm gonna try. All right, Ratch, well you got some work to do with this one.

Oh, like trash, come dump, let's fuck. All right, let's take a quick break and we will be right back. Oh no! It's been a minute since we've seen our good friend who you can now see on tour all over the place. You can get tickets right now at TonyHingeCliff.com. It's the great Tony Hinge Cliffs everybody. Yeah!

It's good to be back. Good to see you, man. A lot. We're both Austin residents now. I love it, huh? Yeah, it's been a minute, man. You love living here, right? I love it.

Yeah, you're really taken to it. I've seen you thrive since you got here. Man, everything has changed. I'm injected with stem cells. Yeah. I'm just full of them. You get them today? Yesterday.

Yeah. And, you know, my brain is activated. I'm healthier get him today? Yesterday. Yesterday, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, my brain is activated. I'm healthier than I've ever been. Lifting weights. Look at you. Eat and clean. What got you into lifting weights? Hanging out with Rogan too much.

Yeah. Him having, like, never ending energy in the green room. And just, I'm, I'm feeling sluggish. The energy is sluggish. And I'm like, maybe he's on to something. The thing that people, when they ask me about him, you know, the most, like the thing that I go, oh, the thing that's the craziest to me that in like the almost 20 years I've known him,

is this boundless and less energy that he has. It's crazy. I've been with him on days where we'd land in another country and then we go to, we work out and then you go eat and then you go do a show and then he goes. And then we go to, we work out, and then you go eat, and then you go do a show, and then he goes and shoots pool. And then the next day, he's doing UFC, the ship for seven hours, and then he's like,

what do you wanna get up? And then I'm like, wait, how are you doing this, man? His energy is crazy. Yeah, and he works out every day, and it was like, forever, I was just like, no, you know, dinner, steak dinners and stuff, they'd bring the peasants bread, the old loaf for the peasants. And I'd always be like,

dude, you know, just butter and bread. He's like, you know, that stuff's not great for you. I go, whatever, whatever, whatever old guy. What are you now? And then eventually I'm like, whoa, you can like have clear thoughts instead of being a. Are you paying attention to this, Nadav? Uh-huh. So Arna Dove is going to be-

Oh, he doesn't know. Yeah, he doesn't know. Tell me please. You're going to love this. It's the best thing that's ever happened. Arna Dove is going to be running in the New York City marathon. In November. In November.

What? Running for what? Running for you. In May of the city. Have you ever done this before? 34 years of being completely sedentary. Yeah, but here's the thing. I'm setting them up.

So I got step one. I got ways to well doing a full blood panel. Do all the system. We're doing a Dexascan. Got a nutritionist coming running coach. It's too low, personal trainer. Look at all this stuff they have to do for you. I'm marathoning.

Yeah, I'm having a rough time understanding. He's really, he's been spirally. Have you thought about, can I pitch an idea? Yeah. Because you have time to prepare for this. I think I'm watching him. He looks very comfortable sitting there. I think he should be doing his job on a treadmill. What in that room?

Wow. That would be bad for sound. That would be bad for sound. It's the me running in here. Now, you make it an extra soft. They make them sit there extra soft landing pads and you put them in a... Can I tell you what I thought you were going to go with this? I really thought you were going to say he looks extra comfortable.

Why does he do the wheelchair stuff in the New York City? Oh, that'd be good. Downhill. Downhill. Downhill only wheelchair race. With a joystick electrical. He doesn't have the arms to compete with those people. Those guys are fucking incredible. Oh, those guys are so strong.

Yeah. Well, you hear the, like, here's the thing. Even though you guys are different, the thing is he's even saying it. Like, his head is clear, he's got more energy. It's the same shit we were talking about. You feel better. You feel better. It's good for you.

I can see behind those sad eyes that you're really bothered. You're just something slowing you down. You're a little bit sluggish. No, yeah, I definitely have some sort of luck. And look, I've gone through fits where I've like, I've like, trying to got healthier. And like it's, it was the best time for me,

like stress-wise, sleep-wise, like everything improves when you're healthier. But I'm the least healthiest right now, so it's just, I'm at the bottom of the door. What's the fear? He, there's something. I'm a meatist. I'm a meatist.

I'm a meatist. I'm a meatist. There's some fear in him, Tony. Yeah. The fear is, I think, that he has to give up the existence he knows. Right. Which is what you go home, go to wingstop you get I haven't done a wingstop in a minute but it's a pot in the in the certain lifestyle.

Right. Yeah, it's the you know it's the Drinking whenever I want which I'm not even a big drinker, but it's just like all no drinks until November Well that's a little intense. I don't know about eating whatever I want which I'm not even a big drinker, but it's just like all no drinks until November. Well, that's a little intense. I don't know about eating whatever I want. But he's already taking it to like it's going to be torture. No, no, do you drink? I drink all the time, but I overcompensate.

I do hot yoga, I sweat it out. It's all, you know, I do crazy stuff. You can drink. It's really like just right every day. Like Redban is the same as you. He goes to Wazewell. They have them, they try to measure out his level. And it's like, it looks like an earthquake chart, you know what I mean? Because he goes home and he just eats like bread. Well, look, the real thing is all this, the thing for, I mean, marathon running, you know,

the people who do them will lay out how to get ready for them. But the whole thing is you really got to change what you're putting in your body. Right. You know, eating. And like, you're not going to run at your weight now. So you're going to, like, by changing what you eat, you're going to start being in it. You need to be in a caloric deficit.

That's like number one. And it's hard because you're going to be hungry and you're going to want to eat. But when you're in a caloric deficit, you're going to lose weight. And when you lose weight, it's easier to run because it's just harder to run when you're heavier. No doubt about it. So it's harder on your joints and on your lungs and you know, your cardio capacity is going to be taxed by your weight. But as you lose weight, you know, it gets easier to do. But that's the thing that's the scariest I think. It's because you're like, right now, you just show up, you eat whatever you know, it gets easier to do. But that's the thing that's the scariest, I think, because you're like, right now, you just show up, eat whatever you want, whatever you want, and there's just like, who cares?

But you have to make this adjustment. Yeah. Yeah. It's just a complete 180, which is, I think, probably the biggest blog that I have to go through. Yeah. He doesn't even fucking retard at this fucking hot lose weight. So. Sorry. Who was that? He's a fitness coach. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Fuck it eating. Yeah. What are you, what are you into now if not wingsop? Because I was LA. I was going to ask that because I could tell there's something. There's a little bit of, there's looks like there's a little inflammation going on.

I'm gonna be asking. Yeah. Yeah, it's a, I really like, I'm going through a whole bunch, the whole rainbow of Asian food. So, oh, oh, that'd be gay pride. She, the rainbow of Asian food. Korean barbecue, like literal, if it's Asian, like I love Asian food.

But that's not, it's high sodium, it's high, like, Korean barbecue, literally if it's Asian like I love it, but that's not it's high sodium. It's high. Like Korean barbecue. You're you should are you eating the sides the veggies that come with it or just the meat the fatty meat? No, I know like I've always like I've you know you get the side of noodles don't you know? No, I'm like I know I try to avoid the carbs whenever I can you know, but it's just like I just eat so like it But don't eat for the first half of the day then I make up for it in the second eat so like it don't eat for the first half of the day Then I make up for it in the second. Oh, so you don't eat much in the beginning of the day? No, not a morning person Like I know like I'll drink coffee and told lunch and even lunch is kind of hard for me to eat But then I just start doing crazy afterwards

So wait, so by the time you get home that's when you're eating them and then you get a bed and then right It's like my wine down It's like oh, let me relax and treat myself at a long day of work. Let me get this ramen. Let me get some sushi on the side. Like all that shit, just fucking compound super quick. So you're rewarding yourself for, yeah, a long day. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

And that's the worst time to eat all that crap. Because now you're laying down, it's gonna stick to your body. But you can eat these things, but just maybe for lunch, and then you can burn it off. Not as much as you would have, but you can have a little bit of a long meal. It's a pretty good one re-writers,

you're not completely good with it. You're gonna be good. You're good. You're gonna do it. It's okay. Complete 180. I see it. Thanks, Tony.

180 is the amount of weight you need to lose. Yeah. Run the marathon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is gonna be going from New York hot dog stand to New York hot dog stand.

I'm not warning myself. Per each mile. It's been a long day. I didn't need breakfast. I mean, I don't know if you're not the best. Yeah. Oh, no dog with an excuse per mile over here. How's it?

How's Redban? Is he going after him? It's unbelievable. No, he's not going after anything. He just gets the injections and sits there. And he's like green. And I'm red now all the time from hot yoga and golfing all the time.

I'm just red. So now on Kiltoni, he looked like Christmas decorations. He's just red and green. It's weird that I should be, he should be green band. Yeah, he should be. He's not red at all. But he's totally sedentary not doing anything. I don't think he does.

I mean, less than nothing. I think he does everything wrong. He on his Instagram stories, he posts like, food that he orders at 4 a.m. 5 a.m. Oh, it's unbelievable. And he'll like complain. He'll be like, these McDonald's fries came cold. He's like, what are you doing?

Who are you complaining to? Are you trying to take down McDonald's right in the middle of the night? But yeah, he does his VR stuff and, and you know, he's just gets wasted and he does it in the middle of the night. I don't know what's going on. So this guy sleeps during the day, like he's just totally.

I imagine being, I imagine being a decade-long business partner with a guy that, like, if something happens, like I wake up, whatever, 8, 9 AM, and I see what he posted three hours ago. I'm like, you have to delete that. And he do, at 5 PM, I get the thumbs I'm like, you have to delete that. And he did, at 5 p.m. I get the thumbs up life. I'm up. Jesus.

Brian, it's crazy. Oh, it's unbelievable. He's a true, you know? He's a real man child. Podcast guy. Like I mean, he built this thing around what he could do. It's true. Yeah.

No responsibilities, no kids, no life, no wife. This is a good girl, right? Yeah, yeah. But they do it together. But she's not as heavy as he is. No, no, no. She keeps some plump. No one wants a skinny Santa.

But I remember Red Van when he would fluctuate, like he could do the Weight Watchers. Yeah, he would go up and down. He's like, Christina, I figured out with Weight Watchers, you just like, you get like a tortilla and you fill it up with vegetables and then like, you're full. I'm like, yeah, yeah, right, yeah. Yeah, he has breakthroughs, like once every three months

for about 24 hours, he's like, I'm on this. Yeah. And then I actually, you told me, and then I saw a photo, I called him yesterday, I talked to a DS yesterday. Yeah, he looks great. Yeah, he really actually made some changes. Yeah.

And he sounded great. Like we talked to him on the phone, he had totally different energy to him. Yeah. Yeah, he really did when we saw him at Mother's ship, he was like, glowing. Yeah, I'm like, oh. He also goes, what am I gonna hang out with, Charles?

And he's like, oh, I'll set that up. He's like, that's what we gotta do. He was like, you also goes, what am I gonna hang out with, Charo? And I was like, I'll set that up. He's like, that's what we gotta do. I was like, you're done, and done. Fly you in for that. Yeah, he looked really good. He was very clear. I was like, do you want something? Do you want some alcohol or pot or something?

And he's like, no, I'm trying to stay straight. I wanna soak this all in. That's not a very Joey thing to say. Right. That's what's changed for sure. He's got the best marijuana on the planet. I'll tell you that that's that he's been slinging. Oh my goodness Yeah, look at him there. This is tremendous. You understand me look at his face looks great. Yeah, that's really good for me and Joey 60 years old I do jitsu I got swim on Tuesdays

Him going through this regiment is always crazy. Used to be this thing where I would call him, I go, you want to podcast this week? He says, when? I go Monday, who fucks podcast on a Monday? Okay, Tuesday. He's like, I swim Tuesdays. I go, how about Wednesday?

I go, I got you Jitsu. I go, Thursday. He's like, taking the girl to ballet. I go, what fucking day can I do this with you? Yeah. And he's like, I don't know, just call me next week. I'm like, that's the fucking same thing. Yeah.

You always had his like plan for the week. He's an anomaly. I'll see you Friday at two. He's never once called me Tony Hinchcliffe. No? It's Tom Hanker. Oh really? Oh, he's true.

100% of the time. Always different. It's never even, even if he thought my name was wrong, he's never called me the same wrong name twice. That's great. Tony, he's called me Christine for 17 years. Yeah. The best is when he gets on fighters, like foreign fighters,

he's like, could be me in Bona. Yeah. He'll call me things, nobody's even called me. Anthony Cringench. Like Anthony. How do you even know that? Anthony Cringench. Like Anthony. How do you even know that? Anthony Cringench. Oh my God.

Can I tell you, you've been on this show, your friend of the show for so long. One of our favorite things is your father's restaurant called the Joey. This Joey. The Joey. Joey. Joey Restaurant.

Not even the... Joey rest. Not Joey. Joey with an accent mark. It's closed now. It closed over the pandemic. Oh, yeah. But everybody would call it joys. Well, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. The right it was. But no one ever corrected them. No, of course not. Because they were right. It was Joey's. It was Joey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Was it in Ohio? Yeah. No, of course they were right. It was Joey's it was Joey

Was it in Ohio? Yeah in young sun. Yeah right there. I mean just a dilapidated area really it was unbelievable Yeah, was the food good at least Literally there's no restaurant here or in LA Anything like it. Wow. From the beginning, all the way through. You ever have those little, you ever have like peppers and oil, like real, real peppers? Oh my God.

Good shit. You could just, you could eat a jar of them. It's unbelievable. And he could eat eight jars of them. A mile one. Oh my God, peppers to them. Oh, you don't like peppers. Wow, that's interesting. And that's real vegetable. The gross from. Oh, you don't like peppers. Wow, that's interesting.

A natural vegetable that grows from the ground you're disgusted by. Good. There's also bread that comes with it, Nathau. You might be interested in fresh baked by an Italian chef. They basically invented bread. You might really enjoy it. You're making me want to go get Italian food right now.

I know. It's crazy when I think about it. It's cool. It has joy. Unbelievable thriving. They're both 76 and crushing. She was just on, I flew her out to, I didn't have a guest.

It was like Sunday morning, and I didn't have a guest for the next night. They had canceled a couple days before. And for some reason, I'm like, I'm gonna fly my mom out and have her sit at the table next to me And we're just gonna do this thing and little did I know that It was scheduled to come out on Mother's Day so it ended up matching up It was weird like I didn't even know when Mother's Day was or whatever and

So it all just worked out and we had so much fun. She hung out, she was all in and out of the mothership up and down the stairs, hung out with our favorite homies, Ron Whitenjo Rogan. Oh, Ron Whitenjo. Yeah. There's no such thing as Tuesday.

Wednesday. Yeah, Wednesday. Yeah, legend, legend. She hears it all the time. There's no such thing as Wednesday. Yeah. There's no such thing. That was my favorite thing for people that missed that.

When I was talking to her about like being a bookie, and I was like, what if somebody didn't have the money, you know? What if it's Monday, and they don't have the money? And she, and she. What if they're supposed to pay you on Tuesday? Yeah, on Tuesday, right. And they don't, and they can't pay you then.

Where they go, like, I'll see you, I can get it Wednesday. And then she was quiet. Yeah. It was the pause they made. There was the pause. Oh, it was like four or five seconds. Yeah, and I was like,

I felt it. I felt, I was like, oh, and then she was like, there's no such thing as Wednesday. I was like, what? It's like trying to get Diaz on your podcast son. Oh! Oh! Oh! Wow. It's like trying to get Diaz on your podcast son

with no- Oh, no, no, no, no, no. She's thinking, no. No Wednesdays, no Thursdays, no Fridays, no Saturdays. God forbid, you suggest Sunday. He's like, what are you out of your fucking mind? No, Joey inspired me not to do Sunday gigs. Yeah, he was great for that.

What do you fuck just fucking fly home? Be home. Yeah. To Lord's Day. Yeah, he was great for that. What do you fuck just fucking fly home? Be home. Yeah. So Lord's Day. Yep. He got me off Sundays too a long time ago. Yeah. He was right.

He was right. Yeah. Misery doing a Sunday show. Yeah. You know what fucking kind of MoMo glue sound. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. MoMo.

It's right. Yeah. What kind of MoMo was at a comedy club on a Sunday night? Right. You stay a whole day. You A comedy club on a Sunday night. Right. You stay a whole day. You lose a whole day for one show. Yeah. But at first when he was telling me that, I'm like, how do you tell them no to that?

Yeah. You know what I mean? You're just like happy to get the offer. Right. Hey, I'm not doing Sunday. What? Right. Yeah, before podcasts.

We didn't have a choice. Yeah. No, of course not. Now you have to do radio to fill up your Sunday. Oh. You have to do, you have to fly in on Thursday to do radio on Friday morning so that you'd fill up Sunday. No, sometimes you would do radio Thursday and Friday.

Remember that you fly out Wednesday. Oh, what happened? Go to Hartford or wherever the fuck, five planes to get there. I was always booked in Chicago in the dead of winter for some reason. And I always had to do man cow and it was like 5.30 am. The thick guy's still in the air?

No. No. That's done. Yeah, no. That was a big show. It was an syndicated, like Nash is syndicated. It was like a really big deal. Yeah.

I remember hearing Stern talk about him forever way back in the day about him. Trashing him? Yeah, exactly. He was so good at that. Like anybody who got any juice going, he'd be like, look in this fucking Dork's show. And then he would just play their show and make fun.

Yeah. Yeah. So good. Jesus. Yeah. He was big, I can't remember. And yeah, and it, but it was like, I'd always get there, you know, and you have a show in Chicago the night before.

Yeah. So it's like the first show in Chicago. So the fans that you do have, they, at the time, you know, they get tickets for that first show. I think we're seeing you right when you get there on Wednesday night. Yeah.

And it's like, so you end up having a few drinks, and now you're hanging out in Chicago, you're your friend from high school that lives in Chicago, comes out, and then it's 3 a.m. and you're like, I have to be up in two and a half hours to do the radio to supposedly sell tickets for this weekend.

What? Yeah. Oh, and then you go back to your hotel room and then you have to go to sleep so that you can rest up for the night, but you had to have a bunch of coffee before so that you could do this thing. So you have to drink more in the middle of the day alone in your fucking hotel room and that's when you hit bottom.

Yep. I think it's time to become a mother and have children. Get off the fucking road, dude. I don't miss those days. No. Yeah, and people are like, you guys are completely talk about having money. Like, yeah, fuck you. We did this for so many years.

Right. We were poor. Exactly. Ugh. Yeah. And now you golf all day. Yeah. Well deserved. Absolutely. Country clubs with Ron White laughing, talking about how weird it is that we do jokes for

a living. Yeah. Fones are locked up. How's your golf game getting better? It's getting better, yeah, yeah. Yeah, really? Then you start like semi-recently? Yeah, Phones are locked up. How's your golf game getting better? Getting better, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really? Then you start like semi-recently? Yeah. I started during the pandemic. It was just, it was like the only thing we were allowed to do in California. Did you go through all the frustrations that new golfers go through?

Oh, like, it's crazy. Did you get lessons? Kind of not really. No. Lessons are like, I kind of think it's like cheating. Really? It makes sense, but I don't like it. But not someone who like, make you do all these drills. I just golfed with a lot of good golfers,

and I just watched them and made some serious adjustments constantly and learned little things along the way. How often are you golfing now? Woof, three times. Weak at least, yeah. Wow. Yeah, I have this crazy regimen where I golf hot yoga golf hot yoga So like I'm sweating out these demons. I'm getting the sunshine. Yeah, I'm having fun every night

I mean this mother ship thing, you know, I don't have kids or anything and I live Right I live downtown in a high rise. So it's like I just have fun. Yeah all the time Sure your life is perfect. Fones are locked up so I can literally say anything I want. So that's what I'm in it for. You know, I'm not in it for, you know, being a mainstream star or anything. I just like, I like, you know, I'm saying shit.

Yeah, like the other night I did a joke, a long story short I did a joke about it. I had a gun in my mouth, right? And some, the crowd laughs at the end of the joke, I don't wanna give it away. And then it is, the laughter's going down, some lady in the crowd goes, oh no! And I'm like, what's your problem, lady?

And she goes, I don't like jokes about guns and mouths. My dad killed himself that way. I go, lady, I've known you for eight seconds and I know exactly why he did it. I'm so fun. And it's like things like that. Like, you know what I, it's just a moment. It's just a glimpse of the other night.

And it's like, is there anything more fun in the world than being like in the moment and getting to do whatever you want? It's like, ever since I was a little kid and I was trying to make the class laugh, it's like, it's what I've always wanted. And it's crazy because this is what comedy was like a decade ago. And now we have to do it. We have to lock up phones and build a club in Austin, Texas to have freedom of speech Like what the fuck yeah, it's so wild. It is wild the world has changed

It's the opposite where we came from you know L.A. It's so groan-y and like yeah, hello and Weird it's just changed. Yeah, it's fun here It's crazy. Yeah, shoot guns It's so much fun. Ooh, it's crazy. I'm gonna shoot guns. Dolphin. You shoot guns too. Have it fun.

Yeah, have a gun right next to my bed. I just look at it sometimes and I'm playing. Yay. Hi. What are you doing over there? You little gun? Yeah. Gun range is fine.

You think you do anything. Yeah, you can. No one's gonna hurt us. My sweet little gunsie onesie. I'm excited. I love it. It sweet little, gunsy onesy. I'm excited. I love it. It's like crazy. It's also, it's a state.

Also, where everyone's like, oh, you know, somebody walks into your, onto your property. You can definitely just shoot them. Yeah. And there's no, like, they don't go like, oh, have you looked into the law? They're like, yeah, we have, and you can.

Yeah. Like, you know, some states they're like, someone can be in your home. And you have to be like, hey, we have, and you can. Yeah. Like, you know, some states they're like, someone can be in your home, and you have to be like, hey, you need to leave my house. Like, you have to like talk to them. You're not allowed to show a weapon to somebody in certain states, and here they're like, no, no, no.

Like, somebody comes on your property. Yeah. Smell them. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's amazing. Is that really a thing? Yes, if you've ever driven around awesome I mean someone maybe this is just folklore, but if you see purple fence posts It means we're gonna shoot first and call the cops late after that

Right, yeah, nothing better than being an Amazon deliver Put this here put this by your fence. It's a delivery. Even like, um, boating on the lakes here, like Austin and Travis, and you're like, oh, my God, you don't even need a license. We can just drive a boat. Oh, it's everybody's ripped and believable. People are friendly as shit, though.

So friendly. It's such a vibe. I've been, I've spent more time on the water here in Austin in the past almost three years of living here than I did in 20 years living next to the ocean in Los Angeles. Yeah. No doubt about it. It is unbelievable. The river, the life, the nature. You know, the LA River is a goddamn, we have all these rivers, and it's a sewer. It's literally a cement. I mean, for those of you that don't know,

it's literally a cement sewer. The LA River, watch, look. No, I know. It's a wash. Oh my God. They call it a river, but it's a wash. It's disgusting. It's where Greece did the race

You guys the famous car chaired race between the greasers and the whatever the boy. Yeah, it's mad Max. Yeah, it's gross It's always been gross. Yeah But LA will rise again like they call it the LA river isn't that weird that they call it the river. Instead of calling it like a piss pot? Yeah, exactly. Like just call it something else. I know. Yeah, it's super gross. Of course, city, I still love it. Now, even the boat police here, they're just like, hey, hey, hey, you see the lights, you're like,

oh shit, and they're like, just slow down. And you're like, oh, okay. They don't want to. They're like, go ahead. How many people drown in the lake, you think? Just being drunk. Well, depends. You mean on accident or because somebody grabbed them

by the neck and held them under the water. For all of us? Yeah. Well, because that guy is still out there. But. Oh, is he? Yeah. Killin dudes.

But yeah, there's that lady burglar lake. And they're like, oh, it's not a killer. And it's like, oh, okay. But drownings, I don't know. That has to happen pretty regularly. People are getting fucked up out there. Yeah. That's not that many This Lake Travis how about Lake Austin

Yeah Lake Travis is the rich people they have a life preservers and stuff Lake Austin This has got to be especially on those three-day weekends and all the drugs are out there. Oh Yeah, I mean three drown in a month this year. Yeah. Yeah. Poor people. That's because the cereal killer. Yeah, of course. Come on. Is he really, is really killing dudes, right? I mean, he's killing, he's not killing people. We're gonna miss. Yeah, clearly. You know, I mean, yeah, homeless. Yeah. That's cool. He's like, I'm trying to clean these streets up. Yeah. For this place, it's into the LA River. He's like I'm trying to clean these streets up Yeah, for this place turns into the LA rib you want you want Caesar chavez to look like

like in Sepulveda, you know, he's a transplant he's like I moved here. I'm gonna keep you Yeah Have you do you know who Demarco Fleming is? Um, have you, uh, do you know who DeMarco Fleming is? Mm-hmm. Tier name? My name is DeMarco Fleming. Are you gay? I'm bisexual.

Are you top or bottom? I'm a top, dom top, aggressive top. And you describe what dom top means. Dom top means which means I grab you by your back and neck, put your face down, ask something, fuck you shit out of you, and have you walk crazy for days. Well crazy for days. Crazy for days, mech means you be real sore and you be calling me on the phone. Daddy DeMar Well, crazy for days. Crazy for days, me, she means you'll be real sore

and you'll be calling me on the phone. Daddy, Demarco, I need help. I'm sore, give me some town hall. That's what that means. All right, honestly, I don't think I can handle it, but I appreciate your honesty. I know you can't handle it. I can tell the way you walk, you can't handle it.

My dick is big, they call me, can't call me my pants. I know you can't handle it, but I'll make sure I go real gentle with you. Oh my God. Thank you so much. I like a gentle, right? He's like let go of my hands. It's like if Stern's Beetle Juice was on stem cells and steroids. It's like a normal healthy beetle juice That call me King Kong in my pants. Yeah, how does that possible? They call me King Kong in my pants Yeah, it's not like that. They in your pants calling you King Kong. How does that possible? They call me King Kong in my pants. Yeah, it's not like,

they in your pants calling you King Kong, did they call you, hey, your King, hey, it's King Kong in his pants. No, no, no, he doesn't know how to. Like, there's no way that's the exact nickname. For a second, I really thought it was Jizzah from the Wu Tang clan,

but it's actually, it's not. He will Jizzah in your Wu Tang can though, if you know what I mean. He will. No, pull up Jizz in your Wu Tang can't know if you know what I mean. Well, um, no pull up jizz from a Wu Tang and like, how that kid is so scared of him. See? Oh yeah, I kind of think that's it. Holy shit.

So, right, my name is Demarco. No, it's definitely not him. Um, but Demarco ain't nothing to fuck with Demarco, man, so scared this kid is so scared. Oh, yeah, that he tries to get it kiss here Thank you so much. I cannot kiss that kiss. I have a boyfriend. He has a boyfriend. I got a husband What does that mean? I can't see the engagement on my neck. It was the program. My name is the walk of Fleming, all right? Period. Thank you. Good. Hello. It's the program. My name is Demalco Flummin, all right? Period. Thank you again. It's a pleasure.

My pleasure. You're awesome. So scarce. So what is so rare? And then Demalco got a little bit of press about, this kind of got, made its rounds. And now he likes the attention. So now he's telling people,

come over, take a picture with me Yeah, so yes my name is the mark will take my Instagram down come on like a take a photo Come on, listen listen take a photo my name is the walk How many people are holding signs here I'm just one guy holding a guy. This is Thailand all. Oh my God. Like he went over like there's people over here. You know?

Oh I bet that guy is walking crazy. Oh dude. Oh yeah. I don't know. That's how I am. Read that sound. I see who I am. Read that sound.

Come on. Let's go. Get the picture. Get the picture. Who got the phone? You got to make it quick. Where's the picture who got the phone? Chris yet to beg people to take a photo. Yeah, he's like really aggressively.

Come on, take it. Don't talk. I let me say this. Give me some love. What the? Give me some love. How about your point? Amazing.

You too. Next time when I give you order, follow me. Don't talk. Follow my orders. Oh my god, look how okay, you see the guy with the phone here in the foreground He looks over to his right like um like what just watch him right here Like why did we take a picture with him because he said so Next time when I give you order follow my dumb top follow my orders Trust me his leg will be on the road street the way he fuck with me. You have no idea his leg will be all like

Oh my God. What a fine. Scott, are you fine these people? Go to his page is Demarco DMA RK CEO underscore 83. You know something though? I'd rather watch him than the Kardashians all day. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Demarco Fleming meeting people and be like, I'm about to

fuck you weird right now. Yeah, so great. I can't picture him with a woman. I'm surprised he said bye. Yeah. He seems like the, you know, gaysilla or something like that. I mean, it's the dominant force.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, I mean. It's, I, you know, I don't know if I understand bisexual men. I always think that's a label right before gay town. I don't buy it. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, don't buy it. Yeah. Hey, bisexual men are cap, any. I mean, look at the marker.

He's putting up. Not gonna back me up on that one. Look, he's putting up a, sorry, I'm doing off-road job interview. He got professional photos done. Did he win the Dom Award? The big daddy Dom? He got photos taken.

No comments, yeah. Let's put some comments on that. You guys like, are really, hold on. You guys like, really hold on. This guy isn't even like viral. You're like really finding this guy. I mean, I didn't realize I was taking part in like, this guy's breakout moment. This is his moment.

Oh, have you ever talked with him already? No, no. This is gonna go down. We just found out. We talked to somebody else yesterday that we found. He's just, but yeah, this guy is a star. Oh, Look at that. Look at my camera. This is who people in offices know. Oh, like, oh, DeMarco. Oh, man, he gets the job done. He just grabs it by the waist and knocks it out. You know what I mean? He wears a sweet guy. He works his King Kong. What is it? King Kong on my pants.

There is no one. Oh, we're starting to say. Oh, we're starting to say. If the camera pans a little bit lower, there's just an innocent victim on the floor. Oh, looking up, I'm scared. Oh, there we go. You can leave anytime you want,

but we have a few more questions for you to find out. We love that you're cooperating. Oh! What is the pit, too, in the shit? You know what I'm saying? There it is. This is a friendly laugh. Oh, he's...

I like this one. I'll be thinking, man. Thinking about cock. Yo. Where'd that asshole at? What? Do I have Tylenol in the bathroom right now? I'm gonna put it in your ass, see the midifin.

That's the generic name for Tylenol. Oh, he's the approach of the book. This is like, come on, book me out. Come on over, I'm not gonna hurt you. I lied. That's the next one. I was just fucking around, I'ma hurt you real bad. Oh, my goodness. I lied. I was just fucking around. I'ma hurt you real bad. Oh my god. Oh, that's a thought for shit He's got his like to Marco the author. He's got some eczema on his elbow. I have the same thing. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, you need aloe vera. Yeah, he's a little bit a little bit Little bit ash there. I'm saying he's posting his Little bit, little bit ash there. Just saying that he's posting his... So he posted all those things in the last like 15 hours. Wow, all those photos. Can I just say that there's a comment, two spirit wolf says, love your personality. Yeah, our, our nights.

Yeah, I think it's like, go back, go to the page itself here. And what is it, when it says he explained, you know, that one right there, that middle one. Does it actually have his explanation? Oh, no, it's just like a reference to the video. I got it. The way I'd let him do anything. There's gay guys in the comments.

They are just daddy, Demarco, I need some Tylenol. I know. This is unbelievable. By the way, Tylenol would not be the way to treat a sore asshole. Literally the worst, Tylenol would not be the way to treat a sore asshole. Literally the worst medicine you could take for it causes internal bleeding, which I think Demarco also causes it.

So if you don't get it from Demarco, you're gonna get it from the Tylenol. I mean, it's just unbelievable. Tony, this is a really good point to make that if your asshole is torn and bleeding, you do not want something that's gonna exacerbate the bleeding. Exactly. As want something that's gonna exacerbate the bleeding. Exactly.

Aspirin also a blood thinner. Wow. Important to know. I mean, you don't want to consult your physician if you, yeah. And probably like maybe like some cooling pads or something like that. Oh, him or I, tux, medicated.

Like after you give birth, that's what this is you feel like. Hey, I got some fucking tux for you, bitch. Yeah. And this is the thing that if you are heard by that calling daddy, Demarco's not gonna help either. Don't, don't, don't be fooled. That a call to him will resolve your issues.

Like, hey, man, you really hurt me. I know. Okay, bye. Oh my goodness, daddy, Demarco. Yeah. What a fucking for a long time too, which I really like about him. He's like an elder Yeah, an elder guy. Yeah, I can't picture him with a woman. No, I don't think it's Then he's so old that he's like I'm still bicek. Maybe he's still clinging to it. Maybe he is Right old school old school gay says he's bisexual yeah right right this Oh my God. Right.

Oh my God. It feels like it. Whoa. Yeah. But here's the thing. A black hack and say it, right? Because it's right. And the owner's black.

Right. So it's just, I think that's the rule. You have to be black. He's just repeating what he heard on the most recent Lil Wayne song or something like that. If it's a song lyric, you can get away with it. I mean, if you're quoting a Richard Fryer bit, I've learned all about this. Yeah.

Then you're allowed. Oh my God. That's a pretty crazy cat. It's a cat. For if you're listening, that is a cat. I love when cats talk. Yeah. This is how the actor from Pussin' Boots gets canceled at the time.

Pussin' Boots goes on to raise his frant. It's great the way the guy films us too because he just looks at the camera like, listen to this bullshit that I do every day when the cat can you imagine? Oh my God. Have you seen the cat that can say, Nicole, Nicole? Can you imagine? Oh my god. What a great one. Have you seen the cat that can say,

Nicole? Nicole? And then there's one that's like, look, I'm gay. Cats were saying a lot of shit. They're saying wild shit. Yeah. Ever since that vaccine came. I'm sorry your parents are brother and sister.

And you're a fat, sack of in-brains. Yeah, now move it Who gives a shit move Can he do Kiltoni? Pretty good, right? That's amazing. Yeah,. Is he mad at the person in front of you? Yeah. That's a drive-through? Yeah, it's a drive-through. Fat second shit.

You inbred sack of fat shit. Yeah, it's pretty funny. Get it together and fucking move. Did she really cry? No, is that fake tears? It sounded like kindness and seer and then kind of mocking. Like, it kind of depends, I mean. I'm sorry your parents are brother and sister and you're a fat

second in bridge yeah now Moe video oh my what is this car paint it like what is oh it's reflection oh my god who gets a shit move it oh my having your hazards on in the drive-through is going to be enraging to the people behind you. Yeah, yeah. Come on, come on. And you are a fat-second bread-shit, you know. You're a chick-poor?

Yeah. You're a drive-through lane. I think it's a chick-poor. That really decides a lot. Is what fast food plays that is? Nidav, you're the chief consultant on fast food. That's so you can call him when he's running the marathon fast food. Ha, ha, ha, ha. fast food. That's so you can call him when he's running the marathon fast food.

Well, I could tell by the bricks that it is actually a 2010 model McDonald's. That was that. Where are they? Aren't those the weight parking spots the yellow? So maybe in his McDonald's, you know, Chick-fil-A would never make you wait that long. Right. Chick-fil-A would have somebody out there. Yeah. Yeah. Are you Chick-fil-A fans? Huge. Love Chick-fil-A. So good.

What's your top three, Prof. Food? Well, you know, I, uh, it's a little bit tricky because I barely do it anymore, but I go no bun with everything. Oh. I'm the opposite of DeMarco, no buns. I'm like, no Tylenol necessary. But yeah, Chick-fil-A always loyal to in and out. Oh, so, and there's never a line here,

because they don't like it. They don't like it here. It's so weird. Have you tried Water Berker? Yeah, I've tried that. It's stuck. It's so weird, because like the other stuff that they have to brag about here is so unbelievable. And they blow it with the water-burger thing, right?

Like, H-E-B, greatest grocery store. It's fantastic. Unbelievable. Yeah. Literally, the best grocery store ever conceived. There's a bunch of them. Every single one of them, you can trust their things. It's so good.

It's literally better than the best product. Like if you, you know, they're jellies, like the A, G, B, apricot jellies, my jam. It's insane. Or a buckies, you've been into a buckies. I was just gonna say, A, G, B, best grocery stores.

Are you saying that jelly is my jam? What? That was pretty amazing. It's my jam. Okay. I noticed that too. Sorry guys. That's incredible.

But my point is, they literally have the best grocery store. Oh no. You have bragging rights for days. You have the best gas stations. Bucky's are the undeniable. Champion. Number one, nothing like it in the world. And then they go, oh yeah.

And we got the best burgers. What a burger. And it's like, oh my God, no. You're ruining it. Fucking pile a dog shit. Yeah, you call this a? Everywhere else is better. Everywhere else is better.

I would really put it like at the very bottom. Totally. It's one of the worst experiences I've had. And I've had it a few, it's like one time I did it and I trashed it and I posted about it. And people got so upset. So I was like, I'll go again. Like I'll go again. Like I'll go again.

And I think it was worse. Yeah. It was worse the next time. Yeah. The bun sucks, the burger sucks. I think it's just that in your adolescence, if that's what you're exposed to first and you get married to that flavor, that sauce,

then you go, oh, that's what good is. And you don't realize that you've been served dirty sock soup and you think it's actually a fucking, you know, New York strip. And you don't realize that you've been served dirty sock soup. And you think it's actually a fucking, you know, New York strip. And it's, it's shit. They compare it to in and out. It's like crazy. It's like saying it's crazy or the earth is flat or something. I know. But I also had a bad first experience at a water burger. I was on the road opening like for free. It was like crazy. This was like two years into my career 14 years ago. I'm opening for a Texas comedian who took me and my good buddy Matt

Edgar, who's like another, especially back then, we were both super duper skinny. He always wore like skinny jeans. He was kind of like a hippie like golf kid with like hair in his eyes. One of those and we were in Corpus Christi, Texas and we go to what a burger. And our buddy takes us there, the headliner, Texas committee originally from Texas, but he lived in LA anyway. So he's like, wait till you guys try what a burger, you're gonna love it. It's the greatest experience of your life. So he's like, I have to make a phone call outside. Here's what I want you to get. Bubba, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, bu the person, the $20 bill or whatever, and someone over my shoulder goes,

yeah, you can give that back to him. They're gonna be getting out of here. And I go, wait, what? And there's a police officer. And he goes, yep, give him his money back. You guys are getting out of here. If you don't leave right now, I'm gonna arrest both of you.

What? And I'm like, what is there a problem? He goes, don't say another word. Get out of this establishment, or I will arrest you. I go, okay, okay, Matt, come on. So me and Matt walk out and our buddy's on the phone. He's like, where's the food? What are you guys doing?

And we're like, we just got kicked out. He's like, for what? We're like, we have no idea. So he goes in there and he's like, what the hell's going on, officer? I'm from this town. This is where I was born and raised. Those are my buddies.

This is their first Whataburger experience. Why are you kicking them out? The cop goes, if you say another word to me, I'm arresting you. He goes, what the fuck are you talking about? Boom, arrest him. Takes him in. Long story short, the next day,

we're driving to the next city, right? And it turns out that headliner was friends with the chief of police of that city. So he goes, the chief of police is calling me. You guys stay quiet. I'm gonna find out what went on. So it's like one of those calls where like, we're on speaker phone,

but we're not supposed to be on the call. Here he goes, yeah man, what happened last night and the chief of police goes, well, my guy says that there were a couple of f***s hanging out in the water burger and we're just, so me and Matt are like trying not to laugh. We're like holding on, like just staring at each other. Oh, this was a story?

That's the story. Just a, you're going to get, you're going to get, you're going to get, we just came across his gay giggling and lab they said they were giggling around. I don't know. He said they were giggling around like gays. We just were like, but the first thing was a couple of f**ks goofing around at a whatever.

Wow. That was a hard f*****. Harder than the cat says the end word. Yeah. And this is the chief of police. This is how they handle business back then. 14 years ago. This wasn't 45 years ago.

And it's not like we were making out or anything. You guys are just giggling with tight pants on. Yeah, exactly. Lock them up. Get them out of here. So what were just giggling with tight pants on. Yeah, exactly. Lock them up. Get them out of here. Wait, so what happened when the headliner got cuffed? They just took them, they put them in a holding cell or whatever for a few hours.

And they're like, and then they're like, there's no explanation for why we're right. Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Exactly. So the first time at a water burger, I didn't get served and I was considered a f***t. So maybe that left a bad taste at my time. I think that it did taint something for you.

And I think the only thing that could probably resolve that for you is probably the Marco Fleming. I have a feeling. Yeah, I have a feeling. Imagine if you went back to that one, like who's a f***ing now? I'm like, yeah. I'll have a water burger number two and three time, and I'll please. That's insane, dude. That's crazy.

That is crazy. That would never happen at an in and out. In and out. If you're gay, they give you extra frown. Yeah. You know what's adorable? I just went to in and out last week and they teach their employees to speak Californian. So when you order, they go like a big I'll have a number two animal style, they go, okay, right on, right on. I'm a Dr. Pepper, right on. And I'm like, oh, that's so 1997. California, but. Right on, it's totally radical, dude.

Right on, dude, bro. You know what, I found out because one of our great up and coming young talents on a Keltonia Golden Ticket winner named Enrique Chacon, 25 year old Mexican boy that just crushes. Just got a job at Bucky's and he told us that there's a thing at Bucky's where if you find another employee stealing, you get $500. And if you find a manager stealing, you get $2,500.

So everybody's literally like watching everybody. Just a horrible environment to work in. Yeah, but I mean, they have fun though. Everybody's like super nice. But it's just one little cherry on top. Like, can you see anything? Especially that manager, you always like. Right, exactly, hoping that he puts a dollar in his pocket.

It would be so easy to steal steal there's so much shit in a bucket oh my god there's so much there's like 20,000 beef jerky's alone you want to show I purchased art at buckets that's how much I love yeah hats yeah sure I almost got a I almost got a bonfire pit from their ones oh why not staring at it I was like I don't know I don't know this. Um, you want to show Tony your talk? I would love to show Tony my TikToks, of course. Okay, yeah, especially curated.

The marginalized communities are the ones I like to highlight. People that are underrepresented. If your husband cheats on you, bring the woman that he cheated on you with, and make him marry her. And that's how you deal with infidelity. Interesting theory there. She's rad, she's one of the greats. She's one of the greats, yeah.

She's mostly. Oh, I gotta make my TikTok. Good morning everybody. Hope you're having a good day. Just got here. Ha ha ha. Have a good day. Oh shit. It's right. Oh shit. You know what? This is like this is like when when people really first realized they were at a live television taping and they saw the camera and they're like, right.

I'm there. Hey, yeah. And then this guy's like, wait, I can make my own like, but hold on. Who does this guy remind you of? The Kings above 18. No, even better for me, Tony Johns. Oh, he, oh, Tony Johns, he looks like a more mature Tony John. He's like, Tony Jones. Yeah. I think Joey Diaz once brought me up to that name, but He's like you know him you love Tony John's Okay, I guess I'm Tony John's for 15 minutes. Yeah, he's our ladies man from Utah baby. Whoo And can you do Tony John's for a second? Whoo, he's about here baby. Where is he? Tony John's cool guys. He is he's the rainbow one because you guys fuck did you guys notice that the gay pride parade?

Did you guys notice the downpour of rain that happened? God's just like no It was hilarious. Oh, it was a super super huge Gay pride parade on 6th Street and as soon as it started God just like great on 6th Street and as soon as it started God just light. Oh my God. Do you why they be okay looks like yeah. Gentlemen, the art of the kiss is being lost. Oh.

You need to understand a woman is soft and gentle and she wants to be loved. Move in with the kiss nice and easy because you're only going to get one first kiss and if you want to be invited for a second one you got to make this first one count. Easily nibble on her lip and then once you move inside. I'm gonna fucking take it. I can't afford that if you're painting on a canvas. Nice and slow and understand oh Jesus God great kiss her own her hands He's got a skill set can be applied another parts of her anatomy You want to keep this in mind? be advised

uh I mean how the where the fuck do you guys find this stuff? You're welcome. I mean, I know. I feel like I could internet. I feel like I could stop everything that I do and just internet. Just end it up setting. And I wouldn't find as much creepy stuff.

It's so creepy. You're welcome. And an old guy just eating ice cream with a voice over about how women are delicate. And barely ate any of the ice cream. Yeah, but barely put a dent in it for as much, for as much licking that happened. Yeah.

I don't know how more ice cream got on the cone. I mean, for as much as on his face still, it should be more gone. That is unbelievable. And then that, that look at the camera at the end, like, that is the weirdest episode of Yellowstone. I'm not kidding. And also, as a woman, there's no way at the end like that is the weirdest episode of Yellowstone And also as a woman there's no way that that's arousing and the least just you know

Shit, this is pretty cool. These are my is this Demarco's dick going into an asshole There's a rough drop in the teeth which Jacob has successfully crawled Section requires a cave to drop down a lot of cave talks. I like cave D you cave dive buddy. These guys I can keep moving my elbows through so as long as I can keep better my elbows I'm okay. This little knuckle here is gonna give me fits though. Tell you Tony nothing gives me more anxiety than these cave talks. They're horrible. I am so with you on that. I mean some of them are she finds they're in these and there's water and they're horrible. I am so with you on this. I mean, some of them are, she finds that they're in these, and there's water, and they're like, I hope it doesn't rain, because I won't make it out.

And then they're like trying to get through a space this big. I mean, how much love did you not have? How many hugs did you do? That's all people, you find out the parents that like never held their kids. And now they need to be surrounded by earth At all times, like what a coincidence. And you really, like people talk about, you know, doing things that you could die doing.

But this has to be, this is another level above, like, oh, you could die, you know, on a racetrack or whatever. But this is, they don't even find you. They don't even find you. Who's gonna get your body? I'd rather be flying an airplane with complete engine failure. Yeah, you have to find a place to land. A thousand percent.

Then to be in a fucking dark cave. Imagine when your flashlight goes out and you're just like, okay. Yeah, just wait until death. There is no come get me. You're just, are you there? You're just there. But do you think that you would sufferer Kate first like the lack of oxygen? I Have anxiety right now that just a wave of it that just hit me in such an uncomfortable way

This is my gift Tony I don't like this suffer Kate. Yeah, go to the library Take a photograph see these rocks here. I think oh yeah move that rocks out of the way That'll save you by the way. What's the goal with this just not to die every time they get what do you get for doing this? Not I climb through a space that I shouldn't be in No, I'm gonna move that nothing right there. I'm not able to make it further through the tiny passage. I began to chip away at some of the more

obtrusive lava rocks. Woo! Oh, got it. Oh my god. Got it. Yeah. So much fun. Such a good time.

Yeah. Potato potato. Oh Oh, I love that you read that cap here. We go see this is my bread and butter. What's it would read the answer for people? I think bread and butter is her bread and butter. What does it say? Honestly, it's discrimination that they can't build wider aisles and airplanes 2023. Sure. That's first class. Is this real? Did this person really post this? Yes. This is first class, too, by the way. Oh.

I probably had to buy this. Yeah, this is a pod. Oh my god. Yeah, sleeping pod. Wait, but she's not in first class, is she? There's no way. They force them to buy first class tickets because they don't fit in economy sometimes.

At least on the Middle Eastern Airlines. This is always who I get stuck sitting next to, I'm gonna hang over, lay over. It's always, it's honestly, it's discrimination. Oh yeah. They have to build wider aisles, you guys. Right, yeah, it's discrimination. Makes sense.

The aisle should be able to accommodate 400, 500 pound people. It makes sense. Totally. Why are they hating on you? Take it personally. Hating you so hard. Not being able to fit, you can't walk down the aisle. You can't walk. You know what?

I agree. I think they should have an airline just for people over 300 pounds. And they all get to fly together and it's perfect. And babies can be on those flights. And everyone that sucks under 300 pounds have to pay extra to fly on your airline. Yeah. Yeah. Let's discriminate against the healthy people. That's a great idea. Yeah. And we'll call it You. Oh, that is your gift, Tony. I'm really in.

It's, I've always had, you know, in those roast writer rooms and stuff, you really find out like, if people have specialties and things, like there's one guy, Mike Farouchi, that has the amazing ability to be able to put together this thing that sound, that like his heart felt, right? Like a longer form thing.

But I have this incredible knack for some reason. And I don't know why, because I was never like traumatized by an obese person or anything like that. I was never like molested by a big person. But I have the anytime anything overweight comes up. I was like, I just like, that that that that that like, I cannot stop.

Well, you and David are, that's so much fun to watch on Kill Tony. Oh yeah. You and David Lucas, who's a hilarious comic. Yeah. You guys like roasting each other. There's one of the funny things I've seen.

Yeah, we go back to the funding. A lot. He keeps me, he gives me a lot to work with. There's a lot of material there. He is. He's a big dude. Big boy.

He is misshapen. That's him cheating and he had to cheat to beat me in arm rest. No, yeah, he had to lift his elbow up because I'm on testosterone. Oh, man, I wonder if you could beat any chanceless. Chanceless. He said there's no chance. Who, wait what? Man, I wonder if you could beat any. Chancellors. Chancellors. He said there's no chance.

Who? Wait what? Any, right there. In the booth. Let me see what, what are we dealing with here? Stand up for a second. I'm skinny and shoot, man. Let me just see real quick.

Yeah, I'd beat you. In our mess. Nice. No doubt. No doubt. Oh, you both said, yeah, I'm a freak athlete. Yeah, I like this. I lay low And he says and he says he can't lose that's not what I say by the way I'm Tony took a shirt off in the green room and I saw him. He's he's even got what's it called the dick lines?

Oh, oh, I do yeah, you got that. Yeah, dude. He's jacked jacked. I have a jack. Yes, chest. Yes. I bought two 45 pound dumbbells. Nice. And I put them over on like next to my giant window in my place that overlooks the whole city. I just keep them there on the ground. People that come over always like,

is that like art or something? I'm like, no. You're like a American circus. Art, yeah. It is, it is kind of? I'm like, no. Like art. Art. Yeah. It is. You're an artist. You're an artist.

You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist.

You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist.

You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. You're an artist. it and it works out because instead of like going to a gym. Yeah, I just see them all the time and I'm like I could not got a few. Yeah, and it's so heavy instead of you know getting 20 20 you know what I mean like lower weights like a normal human. It's Faster and more efficient to do five or ten reps of those throughout the day. Love it. You know, having to fucking it's awesome I love it. Instead of, you know, having the fucking. Oh, it's awesome. Oh, you're gonna be totally swole soon, man. You're so swole, and I'm all punny with that.

All right, listen, you can watch Kill Tony every week. I love Tony. On the YouTube's He's on tour. What's it called, fully grown? Yeah, going everywhere, very, very excited about it. Giant theaters, locking up up phones doing all these crazy Texas jokes that I've been working on here at the mothership nation wide all over the world wide probably right well Yeah, this one's we're just going to Toronto

Canada But also we're doing a kiltony at the H.E-B Center here in Austin on New Year's Eve. Yeah, the arena. So that's a cool thing if anybody wants to, you know, people always complain because you can't get tickets to Kyltoni. So everybody has a chance. You can make plans. Yeah, it's a great new year's Eve. Little Christmas gift. You get to visit Austin, the comedy and life music capital of the world. Make a little trip out of it.

I like it. That's a perfect plan for New Year's Eve. C. Tony on tour at TonyHingeCliff.com. Watch Killed Tony. Maybe consider making your New Year's plans here in Austin, Texas. Oh, yeah. Always great to see you, man. Thank you.

I love you guys so much. I'll give you some talent on it. I love it. Thank you. I need it. Oh my god. Go do something, get me it. I need it. Oh, you some man that look. Oh my god. Y'all do something to get picked.

Oh my god. Y'all do something to get picked. Oh my god. Y'all do something to get picked. Oh my god. Y'all do something to get picked. Oh my god I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna get a pig, I'm gonna Oh my god Oh my god Go do something to get picked Oh my god Oh I don't smell that dood

Go do something to get picked Go do something to get picked Go do something to get picked Y'all those in the game, PICK! Y'all those in the game, PICK! Y'all those in the game, PICK!