Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Our Favorite Jeans w/ Charo | Your Mom's House Ep. 825
Episode Date: August 27, 2025Make sure to tune in to Muy Mucha Charo! New episodes every other Thursday https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-i3EV1v5hLdW3LCtKigp5hl7Pi38QRNG SPONSORS: Get organized, refreshed, and bac...k to routine for way less. Head to https://wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Go to https://ThriveMarket.com/YMH and start saving today. Sale ends 8/31. Head to https://adamandeve.com and use code YMH for your discount. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tim and Kristine are out and it’s “My Mom’s House” as Charo sits in for the absent main mommies. Charo hosts a nostalgia fueled clip show, which features fans and guests—including Stavros Halkias, Dr. Drew, Chris Distefano, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Rob Iler, Andrew Santino, Ryan Sickler, Armie Hammer and more—sharing their favorite YMH moments, each leading into a classic clip. Tom’s mom is putting in the leg work and proving you can’t spell “contractually obligated” without Charo! Guest SubmissionsChris Distefano - Ep. 765 https://youtu.be/aDknTsElGcAStavros Halkias - Ep. 711 https://youtu.be/L3zV1AzFisYSteve-O - Ep. 517 https://youtu.be/HjHJ1TY2AAgDr. Drew - Ep. 427 https://youtu.be/zeJkkihtD2AAndrew Santino - Ep. 466 https://youtu.be/0_tdOY6ssbIRyan Sickler - Ep. 735 https://youtu.be/b5WvnO5E8PsJohnny Pemberton - Ep. 612 https://youtu.be/gB1LQBp8nLADuncan Trussell -YMH Live X https://ymhstudios.com/rent-ymh-x/Robert Iler + Jamie-Lynn Sigler - Ep. 561 https://youtu.be/BbNqYAR1ulQSteph Tolev - Ep. 814 https://youtu.be/4Gi917jYvdgMark Normand - 2 Bears, 1 Cave 85 https://youtu.be/cQNH8Djac-cJosh Potter - Home Here Now Doc w/ RPC https://youtu.be/HmViwV_10ykArmie Hammer - Ep. 791 https://youtu.be/-Ay7j-X-Wxs Mommy SubmissionsDaniel -Ep. 537 https://youtu.be/xVOR712pRaEDouglas -Ep. 759 https://youtu.be/qN5rXW5C238Ellison -Ep. 644 https://youtu.be/A-95v0ngiGcKaitlin -Ep. 773 https://youtu.be/pBfdf85I-hkBobby - Ep. 358 https://youtu.be/OIjeu2TQ4qs Your Mom’s House Ep. 825 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:06 - Stavros Halkias - Pig Poutine 00:03:57 - Chris Distefano - Trans Love 00:07:11 - Mommy Kaitlin - Hammy Escapes 00:16:04 - Steve-O - Skyjacking 00:19:24 - Robert Iler & Jamie-Lynn Sigler - Buried For The Kinks 00:22:12 - Mommy Daniel - Pouncey Twins 00:27:46 - Mark Normand - Fat & Gross Segura 00:31:20 - Dr. Drew - Meeting RPC 00:34:59 - Mommy Ellison - Charo's "Bet" 00:42:05 - Andrew Santino - Good Morning Julia 00:46:50 - Ryan Sickler - Jesse Lee Peterson 00:51:54 - Johnny Pemberton - Lathe Death 00:53:33 - Duncan Trussell - Will Blunderfield's Retreat 00:55:44 - Mommy Bobby - Top Dog Blonde Jokes 01:03:20 - Steph Tolev - Pig Poutine Redux 01:06:53 - Josh Potter - Home Here Now 01:12:32 - Armie Hammer - Austin Is Insane 01:13:39 - Mommy Douglas - Good Mornin' Julia Song Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.
Hello, I'm Charo.
Welcome to your mom's house.
Well, here I am doing a podcast with Tommy and Christina,
and I have never seen them looking better.
Hey, Christina, close your mouth.
A fly might get in.
Better you look gorgeous.
And of course, Tommy the boss,
but I love them.
I can scream at them, I can boss them around, about it to say anything.
It looks so good, oh my gosh.
I'm taking them with me.
Tom and Christina are gone, so of course I have to do the work for them.
Tom is going to owe me so much for this.
He's going to regret not being here.
So here we go.
We ask fans and guests to send in their favorite moment from the podcast.
Our first guest, Stavros Kalikwakias.
I can pronounce it very well.
but I know who he is, and I love him.
I don't really have a favorite clip.
I do have a least favorite clip
when you pieces of shit made me watch a guy eat shit
just came out of his ass like soft serve
and he lapped it up.
How the fuck is this even a successful show?
I love you both, but you scarred me that day.
The way we first learned about him
was through one of his cooking shows.
He had a cooking video that became famous.
It was before he got his forehead tattoo.
Okay, okay.
Before he had titco.
Today we're going to make French, Canadian.
in Poutine fries.
What are Poutine fries?
Well, Poutine fries are basically your fries,
cheese, and a great appetite.
Wow.
A great appetite.
Just like your grandpa.
However, there's going to be a bit of a
change the recipe.
No.
No, I don't want to stress me out, too.
Fries, cheese,
no.
Pig shit.
And pig piss.
Ooh, it's going to be a treat.
No.
No.
Ready?
This guy's cocking a little fucking thing.
He paces through the cage.
Yeah.
Which, it's in his urethra, so I don't know how he's...
Oh, fuck.
No, dude.
Mix it up.
You got to have all the things are covered.
You got to have all the ingredients.
I take back what I said about his recipe.
I don't want to...
No, no, no, no!
Oh, no!
No!
Oh, no!
Oh, fuck!
No!
Look, dude, that's disgusting.
That fucking sucks so much.
Oh my God.
Why did it come out so fast?
Why did it come out so fast?
So gross.
No.
Now you take the cheese.
Jesus Christ.
I literally...
I don't even gag easy, dude, but that shit is fucked up.
You know, I don't want to eat it.
Don't eat it, Norm, please.
I beg you, Norm, don't eat your own shit.
Good hand.
Look at this gooey turn.
Oh my God.
Cheezing, trust of shit.
Oh, good.
Oh, my fuck didn't come out so fast.
No, no, no, no.
This is disgusting.
When the first time I did in your mom's house live,
and when Tom and Christina showed me a man getting shit into his eyelids is when I subscribe to the channel.
So I know Stavi, it was one, you know, one man's treasure, one man's trash, another man's treasure.
And I got to be honest, also one of my favorite moments is when I came on there and I talked about my love for the transgender woman in baby reindeer.
And we had such a great moment and I felt so listened to and included.
And then the very next day I told that same story on Joe Rogan, and his response was, ugh.
So thank you for supporting my trans love.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about her at all.
And she consumes my thoughts when I'm every moment of my life I'm thinking about her.
Terry and Ben Booker.
Yes, there's a video of her dancing around.
Can we please pull it out?
Yeah.
Her dancing around.
I've watched it on repeat.
I've had to, you know, Jasmine's caught me multiple times looking at her Instagram,
looking at her pictures.
And I've had to tell her multiple times.
No, it's for a bit.
But it's not.
Can you walk me through the attraction?
because I'm trying to understand because to me it looks like a very masculine woman.
So it's like you like the woman look, but you like a masculine woman look.
Is that what you're?
No, she looked like an Italian girl from Brooklyn or Staten Island to me.
Oh, yeah.
She looked like that.
And I first thought, I thought she was a woman.
And then it's one of those things when I found out she was in fact a biological male and still had a penis.
It made me more intrigued.
Okay.
Yeah, I think there was a video of her dancing.
I think it's loading up right now.
Okay, so am I.
I want to get my feet over my head and get back to my hotel room and shoot it off my eyelids to Navamaz Instagram.
So, wow, followers have doubled.
When I, the last, I was on her page about two days ago, she had 68,000 followers.
Now it's over at 110.
Yes, see, Terry's just dancing around.
And, yeah, just kind of, yeah.
And you like her paws?
I like it, everything.
I like her.
I was like, I was like wondering, like, I wonder where that apartment is.
She, I like her flowers.
I like her kitchen.
I'm just like, she looks like she would, she looks like she would tolerate me and not judge me.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
I like that.
Yeah.
She looks like she would, that's, maybe that's the hook, Chrissy, is that she'll, she won't judge you.
Mm-hmm.
The thing that excites the straight male human brain number one the most is big tits and a big dick.
So you don't even realize when you're watching porn, you will.
fast forward through the videos
if the man's penis is too small.
But if you see a nice big fat dick
and some big tits, then you stay.
And that's why I'm staying on her
because I'm assuming she has a big fat cock.
And big tits.
And I've already seen her tits in baby reindeer.
Yeah.
And I feel good talking about this
because I promised my family last week
at a barbecue that I wouldn't publicly talk about
any gay stuff or hypersexual stuff.
And I looked them all the idea.
I said, I won't do it.
And then I'm happy I'm doing it.
Yeah, you are doing it.
Yeah, still, it's fine.
It's just who cares.
What?
That lady has a penis?
Oh, shit.
Turn that off.
Shit.
Hi, Tim and Christina and Boothboobs.
My personal favorite YMH podcast moment ever is from episode 773, where Christina gets to tell Tim
live on the podcast that Hammy has escaped not only for the third time, but infiltrated the walls of your home.
always makes me giggle.
Thank you guys so much for what you do.
Thank you for the years of laughs.
It's your buff day.
And if you're ever on the market for an orphaned, mouthy, 31-year-old, hit me up.
Love you.
I've been a little high on drugs the last like nine days recovery.
And yes, I've been a little bit bored.
So I bought the kids a hamster, right?
This happened a while ago.
And then I thought, what's better than one hamster?
Two hammies.
So right before surgery.
I bought us this fucking crazy hamster dude that like we had it in a box on the way home from the pet store.
It chewed through the box.
It chewed through the box on the way home.
That was cool.
This thing is crazy.
And so we have had three hamster escapes in the house.
And the first one was just like a total fluke.
The second one, the kids let the cage open and you were not pleased.
No, I did not like that.
You don't like that.
It made you very upset.
I mean, I'm not a big fan of this family of pets.
This type of pet is not one that I'm excited about.
We can't have dogs or cats because of allergies.
One of our sons has allergies.
But then knowing that it's free and it just really makes me uneasy.
And then I leave and you're like, oh, I got a new crate.
It just brings me, look, I don't do it.
well with feelings, especially feelings of sadness and depression.
And I was like, fuck it.
You know what?
I'm going to buy another hamster.
I know, but you also decided to buy a new home for the hamster.
Yeah, let me show you.
So this is actually the third cage.
The third cage.
And it is.
Look at this.
Enormous.
That is taking up half of a room now.
It's called the hamster habitat, Tom.
It's more humane than a cage.
And that's just for one?
That's for one hammy.
That's the savage hammy.
That's the savage hammy.
So you came home and you found hammy in that.
But the reason was,
So that fool got out a third time, remember?
This is what you haven't told me.
Yeah, bro.
So remember you left and the search was on.
And you found.
For Hammie.
Yeah, you found him.
Now, I didn't tell you what went into finding Hammy.
Wait.
This is the time you said, I found it.
And I did.
Yeah.
But it took a little prep work.
So, oh my God, dude.
You didn't even know this.
We were at dinner.
We were at dinner.
You were sitting, right?
It was here, here.
and then Jane was sitting next to you
and we're eating.
And I fucking hear
like scrambling.
Like it's in, like that.
And it's in the walls.
It was in the walls right next to your fucking head
when you're eating dinner.
Wait, how did you know?
Because right before you came to sit down for dinner,
I heard it scrambling in the walls.
What do you mean in the walls?
So you know our dining room table?
Yeah.
Right behind you is that wall
and that cabinet there's a wall right behind you and then the front door it's like not a full wall
it's like a little partial okay it's like a you mean if you're seated with your back to the front
door where you were sitting yes or the head of the table yeah the head of the table where you're sitting
when you're in your back is to the front door and our big dining room table yeah there's a piece
of wall and i you heard that heard it and then i was like to jane i go you cannot tell tom that this
fucker is in the walls he's gonna freak because this is the third escape and you're gonna kill me
and i've already bought this crazy hamster like this is crazy you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna
divorce me and i and i put a christmas tree in our room too by the way and i mentioned that there's
a christmas tree in there but anyway okay there's the fucking there's my christmas tree in there
like i've already i'm off the deep end already with this cancer shit like i'm losing my i'm
already doing stuff to feel better that doesn't make sense so we eat dinner and
Jane and I are just like praying that you're not hearing right behind you.
It's like a comedy.
It couldn't be funnier.
It was so perfect.
And you're telling, we're just like, so tell us about the thing, Tom.
And right behind your fucking head and you don't hear it.
And then so you leave.
And to Brian, I go, look, we got to get this fucking hamster out of the walls before my
husband gets back.
He's going to be furious.
So he calls a guy over.
So first of all, when you have like rodents in your walls, the exterminator won't drill holes in the walls.
so we had to get a guy
to come over and drill holes in the walls.
What?
Yes.
We fucking drilled, dude.
We drilled holes into the walls.
Where? You know the front door?
Yeah.
That wall is right to the right of it.
We drill the hole in that wall.
And then on the other side.
And then they patched it up?
Before you got a hole.
Wait, so hold on.
So, so, so we're all like, okay, I hope this fucking hamster comes out because otherwise it's just going to die in the walls.
And we're waiting for the exterminator to come, but he doesn't come until the next day.
So we have this night of like, please let this hamster come out.
So we put food out.
We're waiting.
And I'm, I can't sleep because I'm so codependent and I hate when you're upset with me.
Like, I can't handle the feelings of you're upset.
And I'm like, he's going to be so mad at me and I've got to resolve this.
So I'm up at fucking midnight high on oxy.
looking for a hammy and my tits are hurting and I've got a flashlight and I fuck I find it dude
I find the hammy by the kids room and I'm like so it did come out it did come out we lorded out
with treats so it came out of one of those holes I'm presumably so how did it get into the wall
do we know we do not we found there's a tiny little area under the cabinet okay just a
you know they only need an opening yeah yeah and that's how I got in there and it got in the wall
did we plug that up don't know
you know what I'm thinking about right now
divorce no new Christine
new Christine was just here
she would never have tricked you like that she never would do this
do they patched it up so that you didn't you never have to know but I thought that
would patch up the original entrance yeah we will that was fun
that was like fun summer's winding down and while I'll miss the long days
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Oh, Steve-O.
Hey, everybody, Steve-O here.
And my favorite time on the Your Mom's House podcast was when I told the story about jacking off in the airplane
and simultaneously ejaculating as I fell out of it.
it was just a special thing man
on my bucket list
I had skydiving
I said if I ever go skydiving
because the first time you have to have a tandem
dude strapped on your back
that I'm gonna be butt fucking naked
and furiously jacking off
and I'll be all pent up
and while I'm fucking whacking it
like when I pass the point of no return
I needed really time it
so the right when I blow a load
is when I fall out of the plane
and you just just went flying
everywhere as you're jumping out of the plane it was that the wind caught it not a drop landed in
the plane so wait you're but i hadn't fallen out of the plane yet i just got my wiener out into the
wind and the wind caught it and blasted it into the slow motion camera that was mounted on the side
of the plane wow which was like just a full brunt fucking money shot and and then and it's good that way
because because had it had i blown the load after falling out of the plane it would have really
tough to catch it. This is right in your face.
If it was in 3D, you'd be like wiping
the jizz off like those. So you're on the precipice
of jumping, right?
Like that? I'm jizzing
as we're scrambling as we're going out.
Holy shit. Yeah, I'll show you.
Love to see it.
You know, I had four
dick pills for breakfast.
I planned this. You did?
Yeah, four Cialis tablets.
Holy shit, dude. Four of them.
And I planned it like, you know,
I did not blow a load for four entire days and nights
leading up to the events.
I'm all pent up with a hair trigger.
Yeah.
I don't think you can blow a bigger load than four days, you know?
Four days is a lot,
your body just starts cycling it.
Yeah.
Four days is a lot.
Four days kind of maxed out.
Yeah, maybe 10, but I'm not trying to do that.
No, I was trying to do that.
I came prepared.
Yeah.
But the thing was that before we took off, they said,
okay, now you're gonna have to,
there's a two minute window for the jump.
because before or after the two minutes
like we're not over the drop zone
so I'm gonna have to time this ejaculation
oh that's a airplane full of dudes pointing cameras at me
with one of them strapped on my back so tight
that his fucking chin is resting on my shoulder
like a parrot yeah
like and I have to
it's thread the needle over here
I gotta fucking do this within the space of two minutes
and I thought about it and I was like okay
like give me one minute
notice before the two minutes starts oh wow so you start pre-gaming the jack uh i start
are you stroking stroking semi regularly i had my jaggos buddy preston with me he's my fluffer he's got the
lotion yeah right he you know when they when i hear t minus three at 15 000 feet after they open up
the door i go lube he squeezes the lotion on my hand and then i click play and i start whacking that's
like uh there's no pregame there's just
Hit play and full fucking go.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Aye, Tommy.
Aye, aye, aye, Tommy.
On tour next.
Robert Hill and Jamie Lindsikler.
What's everybody?
I'm Rob Eiler.
I'm Jamie Lindsegler.
And one thing we could tell you about working for Tom and Christina is they make us show up every week no matter what.
And then weeks like this, they just don't show up.
Must be nice.
Yeah, no one's there to tell them they have to.
But they're making us work even more by introducing or maybe talking about our favorite YMH moment.
Any thing with Tony John for me is my favorite, but then I don't know if you remember. I think it was the one with me and you or maybe I was doing it alone. They showed us a video of some guy and his fetish was to like be put into the ground. Or he put a woman into the ground in his apartment and then like put the furniture back and acted like she wasn't there. And then there were like spiders down there apparently. I'm really appreciative to Tom and Christina for showing me just how fucked up the world is that we live in.
Yeah, and thanks for letting me watch that every week.
It's all right, Jamie.
Is this what you do at home, Jamie, with your husband?
After the kids go to bed, for sure.
This is super fucking cool.
That's it?
We stop it at home.
Oh, Jamie had to end.
I was like, well, what, what?
Are we using imagination?
I hope that's a set and not his house.
I think that is his house.
Me too.
This is terrible.
Did you see his dad's dance at first?
Dude, guys are so fucking weird.
Imagine that gets you off.
Oh, no.
The craziest part is that.
Spiders in there, that's my straight up nightmare.
Oh, I thought you met Michael Imperioli from Goodfellas.
I'm going to watch the TV
Wow
Hey that's great
I thought Tony was a gangster
What's that mannequin in the corner
Just to practice with
La la
Jesus Christ
You know it's crazy too
He's like she's down there like
And he's just like
I think I'm going to jerk off
Yeah
Like where does the gratitude?
He's peaking right now.
Yeah.
Right now he's got this rush.
He should be.
It's not a good feeling.
So we highlight cool guys on our show.
This is obviously king of the cool guys club.
But he's not jizzing on her.
He's not even ejaculating.
This is a gangster.
Yeah.
This guy's the darkest, cold, cool guy.
Now there's a cool guy.
Tom, have you ever thought of putting the dove under here?
Honestly.
Why are you showing me this?
This is going to cost you.
Up next.
In the episode where Christina, Tom, and Josh Potter are talking about Aaron Hernandez out of nowhere,
Christina says, the Pouncey Twins be gay.
And if you watch Tom's reaction, he's just so happy.
You can see how proud he is of the decision he made to marry that.
woman he did crazy shit like someone would like walk by him and they'd like maybe spill a drink on
him or something a little bit and then he would well that was exactly what happened when he murdered a guy
he married he murdered two guys yeah two of them two guys on the street because they spilled a drink on
him and he got so crazy and he couldn't control the impulse to murder i mean it was just such an irrational
it's like when someone makes your drink wrong at Starbucks how far away are you from but you know what
I have? I got that frontal lobe.
You still have yours? Yeah.
Okay. That's when you'll know something's wrong with me.
Oh, boy. If I'm like, they made it wrong. A couple of head injuries.
They made it wrong, and then I just cut them up.
Yep. A couple of head injuries away from that wall breaking down in your frontal lobe.
Yeah. It's a good thing. I didn't play college ball.
Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah. Oh, how sad.
No, it's really sad. He killed those two guys. He killed his fiance's sister's boy,
friend. This is a separate one. Then one of his friends who he was rolling with who knew, because
it was with him when he shot the two guys who spilled a drink, he shot him in the head. So he tried
to kill that guy. The lover in prison, by the way, said during a night of canoodling that
he confessed to a fourth body. Oh my lie. And then don't forget that he also shot somebody in
Gainesville when he was at Florida and they never tied it to him. The Tebow team. You must
look back and go
ha ha ha yeah
the savages
yeah they're all animals
on that team
there's like a coach
who got arrested
and all those other stuff
too
yeah and then they're like
national chance
how about the pouncy guys
being in that
documentary
they got a pouncy twins be gay
ha
you remember that's the one thing
I know about football
I got it
finally
oh shit
you know what she's talking about
they might be that
No, I don't know.
What she's talking about, the year they got drafted.
Yeah.
I remember this so specifically, because I was laughing so hard about it.
There was an Ole Miss player, right?
Who was, Twitter was like kind of, because the twins have been in the NFL, like, 10 years or something.
Yeah.
Twitter was sort of newish, right?
Yeah.
It would have been like...
It was probably around that same draft as Aaron Hernandez.
Exactly.
Oh, 9 or so.
Right.
So it's a couple years old, but it's not like what it is now.
and um so it's like oh let's go on twitter and this this old miss player was tweeting like hilarious
shit about everybody in the draft and when that was the year that they didn't enter the draft
the same year so marquise went like the year before mike or vice versa right pouncy yeah i don't
remember so whichever one was first he gets drafted and the the brothers stand up and they kissed
and they kissed like on the lips kind of and then that dude wrote ralcy twins be gay
because they kissed and so I started tweeting at that dude the old miss player and he blocked me
oh what did you say to him I was like they'd be gay huh like I just kept like trying to provoke
them but it was and you've held that now for over a decade of your brain christina yeah it's amazing
I can't believe that came out of that vault right away
the joke just I must have been talking about it if you're yeah because I remember you saying it
palsy twins be gay and you would say it around the house and then it's like lock that up for somewhere
I can't remember what I had oh yeah I don't know what I did yesterday but I know palsy twins be gay
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I said interior paint, right?
This is really going to cost him a bracelet.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm talking here to a wall.
Hey, hey, folks, Mark Norman here.
It's raining and disgusting New York,
but got to give a shout out to your mom's house.
What's the best moment?
Well, Compton's cans are hard to pass up,
But for me, it was fun zinging Segura five years ago about how fat and grossy used to be.
Check out that clip from the old show.
That was a doozy.
But yeah, love what you guys are doing.
Christina Pease the shit.
And we're all glad Ari left.
Ugh. Comedy.
They sent me a set that I did.
Oh.
Like two years into stand-up.
Yeah.
A friend of mine, I was like, what?
He's like, yeah, I recorded this.
And I could not watch it.
I started to watch it
and I was like
I started to sweat
Can I say about you
You're one of the rare cases
Like usually you watch a guy's
15 year old set
And you're like man
You were so young and thin
You looked like hell
Back then
And you look great now
Thanks man
You went the other way
The other way yeah
Yeah you were like a big guy
With the weird facial hair
It's the only advantage to
Like not giving a fuck about yourself
When you're young
It's like I also see friends from high school
And like they look like shit now
Yes
Right
And then I look better than I did in high school
Exactly.
And they're like, oh, what happened?
I'm like, I don't know.
That's when you neglect yourself when you're young.
Yeah.
You can improve later in life.
I look at sometimes I'll, because I'm a big stand-up nerd, I watch everything.
So I watch your old stuff and I'm like, you can just look at you and go, he'll never make it.
He's so unappealing, looking that he's fucked.
Like you looked like a guy who liked wings and tits.
That was like your look.
You know, it kind of had a vagusy.
There was a shiny shirt involved and your hair was pointy, down.
Yeah, and you're like, this guy's a fucking mess, dude.
He's like, I would never hang out with this guy.
He's going nowhere.
You look like he had flames on your car.
Probably.
Let's see.
Give me a real on stage.
Like a real, oh, that's rough.
That's bad.
Look at the gold chain, the chest hair.
I mean, this guy works at a place called Diamonds.
Yeah.
And it's a strip club.
It shouldn't happen.
Keep scrolling.
Let's see what else we got here.
Oh, this is.
Oh, look, look how big I am right there.
Yeah, but that's kind of a sitcom.
Yeah, that is a sitcom look.
I'm talking, you know, those shiny,
black shirts and the fun hair.
Yeah.
The gold chain, man.
Oh, there's a guy.
Come on.
You think I like to tell?
I'm holding the mic to flag him.
And then look at that one on Conan.
You're like this distinguished dude with the suit and the gray.
It looked cool as shit.
Like that looks like a guy who sells a badass tequila.
Yeah.
That is the guy that sells tequila.
Oh, there he is.
Look at that one with the green button down there.
Yeah.
Come on.
What was that, Ben Glebe?
Oh, yeah, but you were still getting laid.
Christina with the bangs, she's got the bangs.
Yeah.
Look, that's me when I first got to L.A. on the right.
This one, the other one, to the right.
That's me when I first got to L.
Well, hey, well, that guy's a smoke show.
That's how I got late at 22.
What happened?
I just fucking neglected myself again.
Yeah, I guess so.
Because the one next to it, that's like a before and after.
I know.
Or a, yeah, like, that's like, that's like, oh, I started doing stand-up,
and I don't know what's going to happen.
with my life. This is scary. Yeah, yeah. But you got good bones. No pun intended. Like you,
you're like a house that's, it was falling apart, but you can see it's good there. When you reduce all
the fat, the bone structure is not that bad. Not bad and the eyeballs are gorgeous. Yeah,
you're solid. Oh, that was good. I like that one. Oh my gosh, Dr. Drew. I've been asked to
reminisce a little bit about one of my favorite times on YMH. And immediately when I thought about it,
What came to mind was my very first experience with Tom and Christina where I went out to way out in the deep San Fernando Valley and they pulled me into their garage or something they were filming in at the time.
And Tom began showing me horrible videos.
And Christina thought that was very funny.
And especially this video.
This one stands out in my memory.
It was an introduction to a man with whom I would become, let's say, intimate.
It certainly was sitting in his living room, not, well, a little while after that in New York City.
The cameraman I was with never recovered from that experience, Paul, sorry.
But it was my introductory experience to none other than Robert Paul Champaign.
Do you think the person involved in the clip is a...
Is taking drugs?
Is it one of you two?
No, it's not us.
Okay, okay.
I can't wait.
Black guys who love the fuck and fuck good.
If you're a hot black guy, you want to fuck me at 23.95.
If you want to move in, you can move in, but you got to fuck me.
I need to be fucked a lot, man.
Yeah, we got it.
Free food, free rent, and everything else, man.
He has a deal, man.
Oh, boy.
Oh, hold on.
From jail, homeless, or you're a thug.
You want to come move in.
A friend can move with you, too, man.
Free rent.
you get a lease in the key fuck me piss on me beat me home you know you see me want to come
over today try it out try it out man i just get sad yeah i mean what's happening first
all we go dark the circles around his eyes what do you think that means it does not look well
it just slept in a month and then i just smell meth i can smell meth oh yeah well the first
time we play is interesting i said you know the funny thing about this you play this over and over
again oh yeah this is a regular clip
on my show so just that
just that
you're worried about your souls now forget it is
oh we're ruined
I know I see that I'm gonna bring in my
questionnaire
so we're ruined
but this I was like you know
there's some part of every
man's brain that
has wanted to like
be this guy express these feelings
like just fuck me but I'm saying
for someone to actually pull out a
camera and no it to be this
disconnected and all of it.
This was somebody who was like severely beaten
as a child. Really? Oh, yeah.
Is that what's happening? Yeah, that's just all I see
is just abuse abuse. Because he's looking for the
abuse again. Yeah, yeah. He's reenacting. Oh,
he's reenacting the trauma to try
to solve it or whatever. Whatever our brain does
that makes us do that. That's interesting.
What's with the ball on his head? That's, well, that's just
a BG there. That's just, it's very
dark. It's not well it. He's shirtless.
His spot-on analysis made this sad for me now.
Yeah, it is sad.
that's why I could never go to strip clubs and things
because I'm like, oh, these women are speech sports.
Yeah, same here. No, it's empowering, don't you know?
It's supposed to be empowering for it. That's what they say.
I know. It is. You guys don't get it.
So, yeah.
In my building, try it out. I'm going to fucking piss on me, try it out.
Seriously, quite only this fuck, man. I'm looking for the hardcore guys.
I mean it. I want to do it. And I want to deliver it. I'm a hot,
white trash. Where did you find this?
People just send this into it.
Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I'm so glad I'm talking to your fans.
This is very nice
He actually looked like Tommy
So I like this one
My absolute favorite moment of the podcast
Is when Charo and Blanca are on the episode
And Charo bets Tom
$500 that the man in the video
Is not Tom
And he responds with okay
But then later denies ever saying
Okay
And they were just off and running
Uh
I missed.
You missed it?
Yeah, because I don't know who fell.
Two guys jump into the people.
No, it's not two guys.
There's definitely not two.
Just watch the one screen, Blanca.
Okay, I, is this screen.
Don't look up by yourself.
Just this screen right here.
This screen.
Oh, this is green.
Okay.
That's what I thought.
Okay.
Erase that thing.
Here.
Okay.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my.
That was horrendous.
Oh, oh my gosh.
For God?
Oh, that really happened.
Oh, he broke the glass and his body is all the...
And you think it's funny?
I did.
You did that?
I think it's funny.
Yeah, I did that.
You felt, you broke that glass?
Yeah.
That's stupid.
I know.
I was trying to dive, I was trying to dive
straight through the thing into the pool.
thing into the pool. And you didn't realize it was a glass there?
Right. That's in our old house.
Hi! Oh my gosh! That is horrible!
Is that for real happened or no? Yeah, that really happened.
That was in the house, the last house. And that didn't. I'll tell you something. It hurt.
Oh, I bet. It's amazing that you don't have any scratches.
But that's not you. How much blood did you have? A good amount of blood.
That's not too, me. That's me. That's him. Yeah. Okay, do it again.
I thought you were smarter than that.
that I bet you I'm only making a decent bed but it's funny but I'm going to bet
$500 that's not you and if I am right you pay me okay okay you know what I realize
now you don't have that hair that that's that's what I realized yeah everybody
everybody heard it I just make what did you just say that that is a really wait
no one even took you up on the bet that's that how bets bets don't work wait wait wait
wait wait Brett's don't go I
bet this and then it is a thing someone has to say I'll take that bet someone has to say I'll
take that bet you did I say I'll take that bet I did not hear that okay play it
yeah player play it no no no no way wait wait wait wait I don't wait no here's what I want
here's what I want I want I want I want I want I want no no no you're going to pay me
when you hear that it's not recorded that's the bet you're gonna pay me when you
hear that it's not recorded you got to talk to the mic listen to the answer i said that's not you
and if it's not you and i'm right you pay me 500 your answer was okay and i said okay play it i did not say
okay oh my gosh mom there's a whole room of people yeah but they cheat to fake to help you no yes
no play you like charro i'd never lie to you okay i did not hear that okay he's right there was no
contract made there was no deal you got to pay me now
I swear.
Okay, you can swear all you want.
But now when you hear that, wait, wait, when you hear that I didn't say okay, do you agree
that you will pay me?
If he doesn't cheat and I have to prove to me that he doesn't cheat.
Oh, he's playing words.
And she cut, you didn't realize he was playing with words.
Well, who was playing with words?
No, no, no.
Let me tell you one symptom.
Who's playing with words?
How?
No.
She had no idea.
And we didn't think that you were really betting.
Okay, okay.
Wait, I didn't bet.
You're the one that said I bet.
How am I playing with words?
And your answer was okay.
It was not.
It was not.
Please, God, help me.
There's a whole roomful of people who have watched the conversation.
Yeah, but they all helped me.
Why?
Why would they help you?
They would love to see me lose the bet.
What are you talking about?
Okay, then do it.
Then do it.
Put the okay in there.
No.
Put the okay in there?
Watch it again.
You're asking me to lie?
No.
Watch it.
okay again and please tape it.
Wait, so
I want to be clear about how you think bets work.
You think a bet is like, hey, I bet
that if this dog
runs across the street, it's a thousand, and if someone
goes, okay, that's a bet?
No, no. That's what I didn't think.
It would be a bet. If you are
smart and you are smart and you're
my son, they have to be a part of me
in there. So, I number
one, I don't like, and number two,
when I make a bet. Part of charingot.
I am very careful with my bets.
And when I told you
But he never agreed
But nobody bet you
He didn't agree to the bet
He has to agree to the bet for there to be a bet
You guys don't get it
I said I bet you $500
Yeah but he didn't say great
Bet is on
I get a no
He says okay
He didn't agree to the bet
You have to agree to the bet
So the word okay
Is not a bet
No he just was like
Okay
Like it wasn't a consent
What did you say
Did you have been saying?
I don't think I said anything
I don't think he said okay
I think that he's not
say okay?
Follow me?
Any's the sound, listen, any listens to us to make sure.
Any, hold on, here's a deciding factor.
Any, did, did my husband say okay?
No, definitely not.
And this is the most hilarious gas light I've ever heard in the line.
Hey, by the way, this is how I grew up.
This is how I grew up with this nonsense, 24-7.
All of a sudden, the argument is, did you say okay?
You didn't go to the bed.
No, no, no.
No.
I swear.
Charles, all you did was observe.
You're turning again, you're away from the mic.
Move.
Okay.
Turn your chair.
Turn your chair.
The other way.
The other way.
Jesus.
This is a microphone.
Okay.
Sorry.
So, Charo, what happened was you just had a thought that you expressed out loud as in, as in, as in, as in, hey, I bet that's not Tom.
I bet five.
That's the rule.
And then, and then you, in your mind, heard.
heard him go, yeah, that's a bet.
That's not what happened, baby.
You just went, hey, oh my God, I bet, I'll bet $500.
That's not a Tom.
That's true.
You know what?
Your sister's a, you know what?
Yeah.
I agree.
That's true.
I'm an impartial.
Yes.
Okay, I want a lawyer.
It's really, you know what?
It's like talking to a crazy person.
That's what everybody thinks you're ready.
And you are the crazy person.
No.
No.
I know.
Go around the room.
Their room is all in your side.
Your sister just agreed.
My sister doesn't hear.
I think.
You were excited.
You're just talking your hand on my face.
She's deaf.
You're the wife and they're all in Tommy.
You were just excited, I think.
And, and, but, okay, so.
Okay, let's do it again.
Can we move forward?
Can we go on?
Yes, yes.
Let's move forward.
Let's move forward.
That was like fun, but that's okay.
Gosh, finally.
Okay.
Tom and Chris doing a best of episode, obviously running out of ideas, a little desperate.
What's my favorite moment in YMHF?
history. I've never seen the show, okay? I've never seen the show. Not interested in the show.
Never seen the show. Good morning, Julia. That's, that guy's one of the funniest guys on planet
Earth. I think that guy is brilliant. I don't know. Is he dead? He might be dead. Anyway, I love you,
Tom. I love you, Chris. Kisses. Oh, God. Good morning, Julia. It's me, Joe. Just wanted to say hi.
Wish you a great day. Tell you that meeting you yesterday and getting a look at you.
It was probably one of the greatest moments of my life.
You were so beautiful.
You don't know how beautiful you are to me.
You're gorgeous, you're precious.
He met her at a club and got her number,
and then she woke up to this.
This is your inbox.
Sweet guy.
Sweet so far.
Yeah, you're gorgeous.
He's got a good goatee.
He combed his hair.
He's got the fan running.
I like this guy.
He's almost two.
It's a great goatee.
It's too round.
In the world of Gotees, he's got it.
That's the one.
He's got a cute little butchen underneath there, so the more hair's grown in the crevice.
But it's been sitting in my mind when you said to me you want to go back with your ex-boyfriend.
Please erase him from your memory.
Don't ever go back in the past.
I know, because I've been there, and I understand when, you know, you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates and nothing compares to your ex.
Hold on. He was religious, by the way.
You didn't see the cross in the hallway.
I saw it.
I saw it.
Just letting you know what kind of guy he is.
Yeah, he's a good guy.
He's a good guy.
He also will let her know that if she were to not go back to your ex and go with him, that she would forget about her ex.
I will love you like you've never been loved before.
I believe it.
I will cherish you.
He'll make you feel like a woman, a real woman.
He does like that.
And believe me.
After you experience me, you won't even know who your ex-boyfriend is.
Yeah.
It's almost like that I make you come guy.
A threat.
Yeah.
Similar proposal.
Yep, and then
A lot of cool guys on this podcast today
This is a creepy guy episode
Open up your heart
To me in your arms
Oh boy
Both
Let's go full throttle
Oh yeah
I could see me falling in love with you
I just I don't know
I just looked in your eyes
And I just melt
Wow
This guy's a fucking romantic
Yeah right
I'm gonna tell you I'm liking this guy a lot
I like everything he's got going
Would you set this guy up with a sister?
With my sister
Come on
Yeah
Yeah
Let's see what else he's got to say
I mean I'm so interested
in this guy's rhetoric.
Do you, when you, for me, when I see something like this,
my immediate feeling is like.
My new best friend.
My new best friend, who I'm so humiliated for.
Yeah.
But I also go like, because we were talking about last week,
that this is what happens in my mind
is I start thinking about embarrassing things.
That you've done.
Yes.
Yeah.
And I get washed over with that shame.
I got, I got videos.
I got videos that are pretty similar to this.
So, yeah, pretty close.
What's the worst one and how old are you?
Pretty close.
34, when the first one came?
No.
Probably put out a little...
I was probably on the cusp of the first round of dick picks and sent a halfie.
I thought that was fun.
Like, just not a fully, just like a half chub, you know?
Oh, okay, okay.
Yeah.
I've never gotten one because he and I hooked up in the time of Friendster.
Oh, yeah.
I've never even...
I've never sent my wife a dick pick.
chance.
When you sent this picture, like a half...
A little haffy.
Do you text it?
Yeah, it was a text.
No, I think it was an email, to be honest with you.
An email?
Yeah, I think it was an email.
A pick email.
Bold, bold.
Is it a response?
No, and that probably is the nail in the coffin.
And how did you meet this girl and like, what's the...
It was like friend of a friend type of shit.
Don't really know her that well.
A lot of flirting.
I thought, real horny, I'm going to send you this penis pick.
Got no response and got...
Nothing ever again.
I think it was an indication of my
my lack of skill.
Really?
Yeah.
Was there, but it wasn't at it,
like, you weren't just like,
oh, I met you here's a dick pick.
There was like a lot.
No, there's a lot of communication.
And then she saw it.
Ghost.
Wow.
Yeah.
Not a cool penis, bye.
Not a cool penis, bye.
That's my name of my bio.
Will you send me the picture?
I'll send me the photo.
Okay, thanks.
And it's just half.
It's half.
It's like, hey, I'm getting excited.
I bet you, it's better than you think it is.
I think it got sent around to friends.
Oh, Tommy, please.
And who would believe it?
Ryan Zickler.
Hey, guys, Ryan Sickler here.
I'm very fortunate to have a bunch of crazy moments and fun times on YMH.
But I would have to say the wildest moment would be the Jesse Lee Peterson episode coming full circle.
Like, I had no idea what that show was.
I thought I was being punked.
I had no clue what was going on.
And then, boom.
Here comes YM.
to save the day.
We have been so obsessed, so obsessed.
White History Month?
Right.
And every month, white history month?
I hear that all the time, but I'm not the need.
I mean, it is.
That's the way they built it.
How is it every time?
What is White History Month?
Well, we take a pause to recognize the men who found it and created the greatest country on this side of heaven.
and because right now they're trying to erase that history
and put on a fake history
and so I don't want the younger generation
to forget real history
otherwise they're not going to appreciate America
yeah I did not know that was a second
so this is like this is towards the beginning
so it's like I really don't know what's going on here
just block this out this is so traumatic
probably you're like God I never want to
When I left, I was so, I called my manager and go, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Did you just set me on?
What was that?
I go, and first of him, he goes, I didn't know either.
He didn't look it up either.
Oh, that's hilarious.
I fucking spent about 10 minutes in the mud trying to figure out what's really going on.
And then after I figure it out, then it just gets fucking fun.
Yeah.
Look at your, because even, I'm not.
I have two kids.
My daughter's seven and her brother's my stepson.
He just turned 19.
And are they white?
my daughter is and my stepson is mixed oh we need white babies oh my
we need white babies we got one we got one she's I mean look at you
that's such a crazy thing he's loving it even your posture you're when you're
sitting like this I'm kind of like what the fuck like I know this posture I there was a
moment where I was like really ready to just be like all right I don't I don't have time for
this I'm going to get up and leave really yeah yeah I mean my time's fucking
invaluable.
Yeah.
I'm like,
is this a clown?
Like,
what is this?
Yeah.
He said there needs to be more white babies.
That's a big,
that's one of his big stances.
That's a big stint.
But that's not all he's.
He got into so much shit where I finally,
I'm like,
okay,
dude.
That's like shit my family says in Hungary.
I think he asked me rapid fire questions at the end real quick, too.
You got,
you got no time to think about it.
I want to ask you that what do you think about the attack upon men today in America?
Men are the most hated species on this out of heaven.
And they're doing.
Everything to erase them.
What do you think about that?
I mean, who's trying to erase men?
Yeah.
The people who hate men, liberals, and some Republican women and others.
Republican women, not men.
Yeah.
Only the Republican women.
What is the purpose of the attack of our men?
Why is this attack happening to men?
What is he talking about?
I really, honest God, I don't know where we're going with this.
I don't think.
men are under any different attack than women are you don't think so well look who's attacking the
women who the men in what way in what not way yeah i love seeing the like that it hit you because
you're you're being like a gracious guest to start and you're like wait trying i'm trying yeah
but i've never heard any shit like this come out of a black man listen for one thing there's
also a part in this one he's saying shit about black people where i don't want i i i almost
Eventually I do, but I'm like, I want to be like, aren't you black?
But I don't want to say, aren't you black?
Because if he's like, I'm Creole or some other's Cuban or I'm like, then I'm a fucking, I'm as bad as he is.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm confused as fuck.
Like, what is going on right now?
Are you not?
Like, what?
Do you believe that racism is this?
Of course.
Do you have any proof of that?
Yeah.
Give me an example.
A proof.
Proof that racism exists?
Right.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
That's where I'm not.
Can't you be serious?
Slavery?
How about we take decades, the 50s, the 60s.
I'm talking to...
This is where...
You're like, you're black, yeah.
Right here.
You believe, right there.
That's where I stop was that.
I'm talking to a black man, am I not?
And I caught myself, like, I better not fucking say that shit.
Because he might be Cuban or something like, I'm black motherfucker.
That's true, you don't know.
You could be like Indian or something.
Yeah.
I'm talking to it.
I just stopped.
Stop myself, but
That's the moment where I was like,
Ryan, shut the fuck up, man.
This might be real.
How about we take decades,
the 50s, the 60s?
I'm talking to...
He makes some very good points.
He is one of the good ones.
Favorite moment from your mama's house podcast?
It's got to be...
When I was forced to watch
that man be completely dismembered by a lathe
on a Russian security footage video
by the Lord of Darkness, Tom Sagar.
You sure you want to see it?
Is it a lathe?
It's going to be on that monitor.
It's a lathe, right?
Is it a death?
Yeah.
Oh, it is, huh?
He gets a little hurt.
Here he goes.
What he's going to get skulk,
bitch.
You, my.
Oh, rush it, that's like I know.
You're missing it.
I'm not fucking watching that.
No, I saw it.
I saw it.
What more can happen?
Oh, fucking A, Tom.
Jesus Christ!
Jesus fucking Christ!
Oh my God!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, Jesus Christ!
I didn't know it was going to escalate so fast.
He is not okay.
He just got disintegrated.
Disintegrated.
Yeah.
He got like dog-meated.
He did.
They have the high-res photos of the aftermath.
Mm-hmm.
Jesus Christ.
It's not good.
Wow.
Yeah.
You got to not work at a place.
Just don't work there.
Don't work there.
Cut that out.
Cut it out.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
Cut it out.
There's a limit for everything.
That's absolutely no.
Nighty-night.
So many great memories from YMH, but I guess not just my favorite memory from YMH, but my favorite memory of all time, was when you guys sent me on that all-expense-paid trip to a men's retreat, and I learned the importance of sunbathing than my taint.
Up until that point, my taint had been cold and hard, and after that point, it was warm, alive, and so was I.
So thank you for that.
Thank you.
We know you're in there!
Tom!
Duncan?
No way! You're doing this?
Dude, I already did it.
It's a life-changer.
Oh my god.
I started making more money, getting more bitches.
Nice.
I kicked this immigrant family out of their house.
Hell yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude.
I just want to get hard without pills.
This can do that.
Oh, keep an eye on my guy Tanner.
He's kind of susceptible to things.
What do you mean?
Something's just...
don't go away, you know?
Sure.
Okay.
No problem, man.
Thank you, man.
I appreciate that.
You got it.
Tanner, listen to what he says, okay?
He's got a beautiful cock.
Let's get naked.
Um, is there a way of...
To not do naked?
That is totally fine.
We got some other options.
Let's shake off and knee my intention.
Hmm.
I am doubtless.
I am doubtless.
I am fearless.
I am fearless.
Exhale, grunt and growl at your ball.
Beautiful.
Now slap your nuts.
Ah!
Ah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Ah!
Ah!
Let's get butt-fucked by the most masculine force in our galaxy.
The fucking sun!
There is a limit, Tommy.
That is disgusting.
No, I don't take it.
Another bracelet.
Good morning, Julia.
Hi, Mommies.
I was recently asked to come up with my favorite YMH moments.
And I'm just taking a walk because I'm fat.
There's so many that I wouldn't really know where to start.
But I will tell you, there's one that stands out.
And that is episode 358.
And that is where Top Dog is doing his blonde jokes with Tommy, RIP, Top Dog.
I really don't think much people could argue this.
It's almost an iconic episode at this point.
It'll live on forever.
It'll be there on the internet long before we're all dead.
It's a fantastic episode.
So YMH, please play episode 358, where Top Dog does his blonde jokes with Tommy.
Again, RIP, later our words.
like jokes, right?
I love jokes.
Okay, so I wanted to read some jokes to you and talk, and you tell me what you think of these
jokes.
Okay.
How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
I love blonde jokes, by the way.
I don't know.
It has a stamp on it.
I love it.
I love those jokes.
Oh, my God, little bon jokes.
Okay, how can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
I don't know.
There's white out all over the monitor.
Oh, my God.
I got one for you, too.
Okay, go ahead, go ahead.
Okay, this blonde is sitting at a bar in Chicago.
watching one of these bars
where they had the TV behind the bar
and there's some guy up on the ledge
getting ready to jump
so this guy sits down next to her
and he says to her
this is the 6 o'clock news
and he says
I bet you he jumps
and the blonde says I bet you a drink
he doesn't
and all of a sudden
the guy jumps
and so the guy's, the blonde says,
I guess you owe you $20.
And he said, no, I really can't take the money
because I saw it on the 5 o'clock news.
And the blonde says, so did I,
but I thought you might change his mind.
I think that's hilarious.
Oh, my God.
I think that's so funny.
Can you imagine?
Yeah, that's funny.
How do you drown a blonde?
You know, have her stand in the shower for a long time.
I don't know.
I'm discussing.
I don't know.
Okay.
Just go how?
You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
that's funny
that's funny
oh my god
what did the blonde say
when she saw the sign
in front of the YMCA
I don't know
look they spelled Macy's wrong
that's funny
that's funny
I got one more blind joke for it
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, please keep it coming.
Okay, so this blonde, she was going to go from New York to Europe to London.
So she just climbed on board, and she said in first class without a first class ticket.
And the steward says, I'm sorry, miss, but you're not allowed you have to go back in the coach.
She says, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to London in first class.
Well, the stewardess never had anybody talk to her like that, so she doesn't.
went to get to the co-pilot.
The co-pilot came out and says,
Miss, you've got to go to the back of the coach
with everybody else, you don't have first class ticket.
She goes, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful,
and very busty, as you can see,
I'm going to London in first class.
Well, the co-pilot, he didn't know what to do.
So he goes up and tells the captain.
The captain says, don't worry, I speak blonde.
The captain goes back, whispers something to her ear,
she pops up and runs back in the coach
and the other said
what did you say to her
I told her that only coach
is going to London
I think that's hilarious
I think that's hilarious
yeah that's good
dumb broad
can you imagine
so stupid
figure out
take the airplane,
kind of divides itself here.
I mean, how dumb can you get?
Yeah.
It's really funny.
Actually, I love that joke.
Yeah, that's a good joke.
Sometimes I just tell jokes to myself to make myself laugh.
Oh, my God.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Seriously.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Man, that's a lot of, I can see a broad doing that, though, you know?
I could.
Yeah, the other kind of jokes I like.
I like, I like, I like Polish jokes.
Yeah, who does?
Yeah, sure.
These two Polack's are driving down from Cincinnati to Miami on the high 75.
They saw a sign that says, clean restrooms ahead.
Yeah.
So the time we got to Miami, they cleaned 150.
That's funny.
That's good.
Never heard of now.
Hey, you know what the world's shortest book is?
What?
Polish War.
hero.
Oh, yeah, I've heard that one.
Yep.
The Hungarians,
you said,
like the Russians.
Why do blondes wear
panties?
I have no idea.
To keep their ankles
warm.
Oh,
my God.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, I love
this.
I love my jokes.
Hey, where do you
look for
for blonde's obituaries?
uh in the sports page no under home improvements
that's good that's really funny
god
who
that's pretty good man
yeah
you know it's it's you don't know it's you know it's you don't do any one
liners like this but this is good good stuff here buddy
He saw that they were so funny
that he laughed so hard as he tells you the joke
that you are laughing actually at him
no other joke. He was adorable.
Anything he did was funny.
Anything he did was good anyway.
My favorite.
Now you're making me cry.
You are not taping.
This is me blowing my nose, no?
Because I would cost four bracelets.
My favorite, your mom's house memory,
is actually my least favorite memory
when Christina and Tom
forced me to watch that disgusting
pig man norm piss and shit into a putteen and then eat i get i gagged i gagged into the garbage can
i almost threw up i've never almost thrown up before like that in public on a podcast almost barfed
and then i looked up to see both of them sheer glee on their face never seen people happier
and it made me realize they are so in love and it was a very nice moment to see two people so happy
at somebody almost yakking
on a very large podcast, but
I guess it was a nice memory just to see how
happy Tom and Christina are together in love.
I fucking knew it.
Today we're going to make French Canadian
putteen fries.
What are our protein fries? Well,
putteen fries are basically your fries,
cheese, and
have great appetite.
Yeah. What on God's
green earth am I looking at right now?
This Norm Somerton. However,
there's going to be a bit of a change to the recipe.
everybody likes to change the recipe no they don't these ones are going to have fries cheese
pig shit and pig piss oh it's going to be a treat he's canadian too but no don't don't
he's from calgary well that makes sense keep those okay so let's get let's get things happening
oh no does it come out if penis comes out oh my god what's what is it is it's in a cage it's in a cage
I can't look at this actually. This is, this is protest.
No, he doesn't poo.
It's just the beginning.
No, he doesn't pick this.
Isn't sure all the fries are covered and pick this?
What, you're not even proud to be Canadian anymore?
This is our Canadian test.
This is what we have to do.
This guy's fries.
That's how you become a citizen.
So every immigrant?
No, no, I actually can't watch this.
Watch this, I can't.
I can't.
Oh my God, I hate you guys.
Oh, I guess.
Is it done yet?
Oh, God!
This is the best part.
No, I can't, I can't.
The fact that we've already watched this is making me...
What's that?
Some cheese?
French Canadian portion here.
I don't know why it's worse than the rest of it.
Somehow that...
Oh, God.
He doesn't eat it.
Does he eat it?
No, I can look.
No, just look.
I can't look.
You got to look.
I just got to watch.
I tried to game.
Ah.
Why is the garbage here?
I'm not joking.
I have to throw it.
I hate it.
Why is it still going?
Okay.
Why are all your clips so long?
I'm sad to throw off.
That's so bad.
It has to stop.
Okay, okay.
It actually has to stop.
I can't, you know what, I can.
Hold on.
I hate that man.
Like that, the Poutine video?
I hate him so much.
No, I'm actually like really upset right now.
That's him now.
No, he's a bad man.
Underneath it, with the pig.
See how it says...
What the fuck is his problem?
That's him now.
He got the tattoo pig on his forehead.
Why is he so sick about pigs?
He likes being a, like, a submissive to a couple doms, so...
Those doms better be getting paid millions upon millions of dollars to go near that man.
I think they're getting anything they can get out of them.
The smell that radiates off of that pig-pissing clown, I can't.
What's crazy is what you're saying right now is making him so hard.
I know.
Does he watch this?
I don't know.
That is disgusting.
No, I'm really mad.
No.
Ah, that.
What, everybody.
It is I, the Roach.
Your host of Behind the Jeans, Josh Potter.
How are you?
I have been asked, what is my favorite YMH moment?
Why, there's only one choice, really.
It is having the honor and privilege of getting to be the first person to cross through the threshold of 2,3,95,
Wagner House's apartment 2C in East Harlem.
and making first contact with Robert Paul Champagne.
I mean, I felt like Neil Armstrong,
I felt like a political dignitary going to a faraway land.
It was truly one of the best moments of my life.
And definitely my favorite moment on your mom's house.
About to go to Department 2C and see Robert Paul Champagne.
Move, Ashley.
Ashley!
Hi, Robert.
Hi, can you come in?
This is we come here.
Hey.
I'm Josh.
I'm not the great.
Oh, that's okay.
Where can we go?
Where can we set up?
No one there.
Thank you for inviting us in your home first and foremost.
We're really happy to be here.
Okay.
Thank you for all of your art that you've provided us with.
I try.
Some of it around the house here I've noticed.
A lot of art.
So tell us how you came to be here in Harlem.
You said this was your mother's place?
Yep.
She was in a real cheer.
She hated the nursing home.
And I, well, they agreed.
They got the place to me.
It's like, okay, Mom, I'll go with you.
But I'm not crazy for Harlem, but I'll go with you.
Right.
And then she got worse and worse.
She wasn't home too much.
She was getting sicker and sicker.
I had a nurse here.
She was robbing me blind.
I had to get rid of her.
Then I put her in a nursing home.
And now you're here?
Is your mother still with us?
No, she passed away in December.
That's the way? Okay.
But now you've inherited all her wares.
Yeah, but I don't do half the stuff.
You don't know what half the stuff is?
No, I like the stuff, but I have, that's why I said, I've got to get to live.
I've got to put somebody on a wheel for anything happens to me.
They're going to have antiques here.
I have crystals there from Ireland and their glasses and all this beautiful stuff.
And I can't, anything happens to me.
They're going to have a party.
Yeah.
That's true. I mean, that's always tough.
So what is your solution? What do you think is going to...
I try. I guess why I put it for two.
I said, my ad was, you could be S-Con.
You could be a thought, but, but, but if you're here with me and we have a fun,
and you go back and forth, you can be comfortable.
I have the rooms that I can fix the room.
Okay, I got one is the mess. I've got to fix it up.
You could give you a room. I take another person in.
We could have a little fun as a family.
I have nothing to leave a stuff too.
Right, and then the only thing that they would have to contribute is helping you move all of these things.
You just move some of the stuff and, you know, fix it up.
I think that's fair. That's a fair trade.
And it's taking a room, put some of storage, because it's like some...
Right, it's a lot of lifting and it's a lot of, you know, carrying up and down the stairs and things like that.
You need some strong, bigger fellas to do that kind of thing.
I put it out, and people call it and make jokes out of it.
Oh, well, that's a shame.
I say, you know, you could be homeless and you're making a joke.
Yeah, that's sad.
It shouldn't make jokes about those types of things.
I got clothes.
I said, I told me, you could shower.
I got clothes, clean clothes for you.
I got lots of toiletries.
I mean, you go in a clause.
You go pop anything out.
Right.
And then, and here they are making jokes.
Yeah.
That's a shame.
Have you had anybody that was a real serious possibility?
Some guy he's getting out in August.
I don't like his island.
but the deal is he has grand theft and that is not a good deal yeah he's getting out in august though
yep so you're thinking because of the grand theft he might not make it out no no great i don't mind a
rape or a little mind of robbery but grand theft he sees antiques i don't want to be the next victim
i hear you okay so that kind of bing yeah so if he was a rapist a rapist wouldn't bomb you're not going
to rob you because then he can't rape you you're willing you're down okay but he will wrong but but but
But the robbery.
The robbery, I'm thinking I've got antiques here, and I've got a few of stuff.
Yes, of course.
Now, tell us about some, you mentioned before we got started filming,
some famous names of lovers that you've had.
Tom Selleck.
Tom Selleck.
Now, this is what year about?
He was around the 80s.
Right, okay, so this was in his heyday.
This is Mustache, Miami, Vice, Tom Selleck.
He used to go to the eagle, the lore.
the Eagle. He's a smoking cigar. He wore a harness. And, and everyone says, Tom said, we don't,
and I can call him Tom. I just say, I say Tommy, and he was just smoking cigars. We used to go back
and forth. And we went to hotel rooms, but no one thought him to Tom's cell because when he
wore the leather, he wore glasses. Ah. And that was like his Clark Kent to Superman, so he speak.
He was, he was kind of, but he was by. Right. So he was, uh,
a little more shy about his
his gay side.
And I don't respect, it's okay.
Okay, yeah, sure.
What was, uh, do you remember some of his favorite things to do when it comes to?
He was into water sports.
He was into whips.
He was into restraints.
Oh, he was, he was a, he was so wild.
Oh, is he retarded?
Ooh, favorite memory of your mom's house.
So I get to Austin.
It's 10 o'clock at night.
I'm doing the podcast the next morning.
I've been on a plane.
I decided to go for a walk, see the sights.
Everyone is all about Austin these days.
Everyone's moving there.
The business is going there.
And I decided to just go check it out.
Why not?
I get out there.
I start going for a walk.
And it's insane.
I mean, it is like Sodom and Gomorrah out there.
It's the craziest thing I've ever seen.
And I live in Los Angeles.
I saw a homeless man who was not wearing a shirt smoking crack
and loading a handgun at the same time.
Favor memory.
Nothing to do with the actual podcast,
just to do with how insane Austin is.
But congratulations, guys.
Thank you for watching.
Make sure to check out my show,
Mucha Charo, please.
Anton has to buy me maybe a diamond bracelet
for doing this.
Tommy will be back next week.
Tata!
There is retarded.
What?
What up, Jeans?
It's your boy, Doug.
You want my favorite moment of YMH.
It's got to be the opening to Tom's birthday episode number 759.
The Good Morning Julia song.
Frickin hilarious and one of the biggest tunes ever recorded, not just comedy.
Like it's actually sick.
So I was laughing and jamming it at the same time.
Good times.
Joe, just wanted to say hi, wish you a great day.
Tell you that meeting you yesterday gave you a look at you.
It's probably one of the greatest moments of my life.
You were so beautiful.
You don't know how beautiful you are to me.
I mean just you're gorgeous, you're precious, and where it's been sitting in my mind when you said to me,
you want to go back with your ex-boyfriend please erase him from your memory don't ever go back in the past
i know because i've been there and i understand when you know you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates
and nothing compared to your wrists but there is that better person out there and julia i promise you it is me
Like you've never been loved before, I will cherish you.
I'll make you feel like a one or real woman.
And believe me, after you experienced me, you won't even know your ex-boyfriend is.
So open up your heart to me and your arms let's go full try.
I can see me falling in love.
with you, you'll just, I don't know.
I just looked in your eyes and I just melted anyhow.
I'm heading off to work.
Child, baby, let's go full.
Try out of, baby, child, baby, child, baby.
Child, baby.
This is my cute little home.
Everything you see behind me, I built everything every square inch from crown molding,
the chair rail, the floors, the light, and the plumbing doors, windows.
This is the type of guy you're getting.
I'm a very handy guy, and I love to build you whatever you want.
You're a sweetheart, so I hope this video doesn't scare you, but that's how I feel.
I just want you to know that, okay?
And I look forward.
I'm going out to dinner with you, so let's make it happen.
Wow, baby, chow baby, chow baby.
Let's go, chau-bedo-chado, baby.
Let's go, let's go, full-chado, baby.
I'm