Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Pooping on the Tires Set w/Shane Gillis & Matt McCusker | Your Mom's House Ep. 762

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

SPONSORS: - Get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription at https://Babbel.com/YMH - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/momshouse What's up, chomos?!? Tim and Kristin are back and open the show being serenaded by classic cool guy, Bill Tapley aka The Third Eagle. They check in on what he's been up to lately before truly opening the show with a clip from a bad guess on "Wheel of Fortune". Christina also gets to the bottom of some mysterious things going on with Tom's bottom. The Main Mommies are next joined by a couple of white guys named Matt McCusker and Shane Gillis, who you may know from Matt & Shane's Secret Podcast, Tires, and a few other neat things. Tom and Christina welcome them to the show some incredibly thoughtful gifts, before they get into a conversation about teachers, hippies, Bridgerton, and blowing up toilets on the set of "Tires". Matt and Shane next meet the Double Soul Shaman and get a double dose of clips via Christina's Curations and some choice Horrible or Hilarious selections. They also check out some back adjustments, fat girl pride, and celebrity farts. Enjoy! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinaponline.com/tour-dates https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Your Mom’s House Ep. 762 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. My favorite spring cleaning takeaway is the post clean clarity you get. It's kind of like when you find out that you've been paying a fortune for wireless when Mint Mobile has a phone plan for $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan. It's time to switch to Mint Mobile and get unlimited talk, text, and data for $15 a month. We use Mint Mobile at the office and we have been saving so much money since switching over and setting up on Mint Mobile's website was super easy. All plans come with high-speed data and

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Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Yes. taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mitt Mubble for details. VOTE FOR THE DONALD! Trump is the man! Let's put our nation into his hands. Mike Pence and Donald make a great team. They'll make our nation the greatest it's been. They've got the wisdom, and pride. Criminal Clinton ought to go hide. They know our borders leak like a sieve. They'll build a wall that's high and strong

and it's not gonna give. All those jihadis keep their swords honed. Trump's got the answer to that problem Just send them back home Terrorist bombings still are a threat Trump's the solution You wanna bet Second Amendment guarantees peace Firearms protect us even though we

Criminals love those weapon free zones When guns are banned then how the hell do we fight with I fall nice truth now we've a choice That choice is sweet. Vote for my man, the Donald Trump, for commander in chief. Wow. Nice. Mike Pence and Donald. Fuck yeah. Shooting like stars.

They love our freedoms. They'll take us far. I love him so much. Wow, yeah. Now this is an old one, but there is a more recent one that he's out in a field. Yes, and he warns us to... See if you can find it. It's really good. And can I tell you, I've been singing it. That's how catchy. See, he's improved his songwriting over the years.

Yeah, the newer one is fucking tight. It's fire. Let's see, to the revolution digital market income Fed spoker Let's see I pray our dear leader picks the honorable RPC to replace our Let's see RPC I'm not sure how our RPC would be I've read the names over yesterday ones that were appointed, but I Forgotten out what their initials Oliver

Yeah, so some of the fans found him. That's cool On his big show We're talking about what's important. See this is why I miss Cable access television. He would be on it 24 7 that's quite a set that he's got going on behind him Can we give him a show just to broadcast 24 7 listen? I'm a hundred percent in on producing a podcast for this guy You have you there is no pitch done I Would listen to everything for sure I love. I'm gonna lean towards short form

I don't think we should give you the four hours that you're looking for but I think Whatever you do in 30 would be amazing I mean, can I I just like the amount of thought he puts into everything look at his backgrounds are impeccable The content is there. He's musical. He's thoughtful He's got visual cues. He once a month he drops a new fucking track on us. That's so rad. Like, oh shit. Oh man.

My man Bill T's got a new one dropping today. Cause here's what I like about him is that he's actually very intelligent. Yeah, he's a smart guy. But it's intelligence in service of mental illness, which is my favorite combo. I don't know if we're really recruiting him real well right now.

Oh, sorry. I mean, in service of great ideas. Yeah. Yeah. Tom, how's your period going? It sucks. It started today. No.

Yeah, I could feel it last night coming on. I wanted to die. Me too. Just like cramps. I just like any minute. Sucks, but yeah. What did you do? Did you use a tampon or a pad?

I put a pad overnight, yeah. Cause yesterday you told me you put a pad in. Yeah, sometimes I do that too. You roll it up and you put it in? Mm-hmm. Where'd you learn that? It was just something I learned back in high school, like when it really... Yeah. Doom and gloom? Oh, Doom and gloom, that's it. Yeah, don't blame me. My man has fingers on those keys.

Yeah. And he's in nature. I like that. I like nature. Third Eagle's tune. I'm getting Stevie Wonder vibes. All day. Just skill set I'm saying, you know.

Yep. Just dance on those keys. Yep. All day. Don't play me. Just skill set I'm saying, you know. Yep. Just dance on those keys. He's feeling it. I feel it. That's original too.

How is he plugging the keyboard in out in nature? Wild. Doom and gloom Coming soon Listen to third eagle's Oh that's right, he's third eagle. doom and gloom coming soon listen to 30 eagles oh that's right he's 30 doom and gloom god is telling us the end is coming soon damn

very soon you'll see signs up in the sun and stars and moon doom and gloom very soon rapture comes at night or noon ooh night or noon doom and gloom very soon Rapture comes at night or noon Doom and gloom very soon If you're ready you will meet the Brighting's Room Don't be dumb Rapture comes long before the seventh drum. Don't be dumb. It won't be as in the days of Noah's flood. Ratcher comes.

Okay. What do you think his wife is like? You think she's like, oh, he's out there. She's doing one of his songs. I think. Oh, Bill, he's doing songs and I'm making him lunch. I think what every wife does when you've been with a guy long enough,

you just surrender. Surrender. You're like, this is what makes him happy. At least he's not out at the strip club. Right. He's not doing drugs, he's not drinking. This is his jam. It's what he does.

He wants to warn you about the apocalypse. Is he alive? I think that's a reason. He's still uploading videos. He is? That video was 13 years ago. Jesus Christ. He's still at it. He's very old now though. I mean he's got to be way better now. What's the most recent video? I thought this was recent. What's the most recent William Tappi video? Doom and gloom. Oh, yeah, he's been aging. Okay. Oh yeah, there's so many more things in the background. Wow. See, at this point, his wife, This is just like the televisions on in the background. He's just like, well yeah, he's doing one of his prayer videos and he's talking to the idiots

and letting them know. Or she's on board. For our WFRN families, what does that say? Huh. Wow. What is WFRN? He's got a lot of subscribers. Is that like a regional channel? It sounds like it's a radio station in In Indiana, is that where he is? I wonder if he's there. He's got a strong Indiana vibes. Oh, yeah No, he's salt of the earth, you know, yeah, like if you told me that's where he lives I'd be like, yeah that checks out. Yeah. No, he's very like Midwestern vibes. Yeah. No, don't you think the wife might be into it too though? There's she can't be against it She can't be no, I think she's of the same

Yeah, she's like Catholic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but she's probably like I mean Yeah, he's helping. He's teaching doing this, you know informing people. I don't think she's aware. I'm gonna guess she's probably like, I mean, yeah, he's helping. He's teaching, doing this, you know, informing people. I don't think she's aware. I'm going to guess she's not aware. She knows she probably met him and she was like, you can play the keyboard. Like, that's cool. They met at church, definitely.

And he's a little more zealous. But she likes that about him. Yeah. Because he's a man of faith. She's into the faith. He's not scared to say what he thinks. You know? She likes that about him. He. Cause he's a man of faith. She's into the faith to. And he's not scared to say what he thinks, you know. Yeah, she likes that about him. He's got convictions.

It's very cool. Did you take any Midol for your cramps today? Not yet. Not yet. I'm going to though. What about a heating pad? Yeah, I slept with one last night. You did.

Yeah. How long is your cycle? Six days. It's like, cycle? Six days. Six days. And then how often do you get your period? Like once a month. Like how many days apart? 21 or so. 21 day cycle. That's pretty short. What's your favorite tampon to use?

Extra Large, any brand. Any brand. Do you like, which kind of applicator do you use? What large, any brand. Any brand? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Do you like, which kind of applicator do you use? What do you mean? I mean, which do you prefer? I just lube up my, and I put it in. Oh! Yeah.

I bleed so much though. I have such a heavy flow. You do? Yeah. I didn't know that about you. I just want to be in bed right now. Me too, I'm so tired. Bleeding for days.

Yeah. Which kind of pad do you use? I forget. Do you like wings? I just wanna be in bed right now. It's just bleeding for days. Yeah. Which kind of pad do you use? I forget. Do you like wings? Do you like a panty liner or do you like? I need a panty liner. Right now?

Oh, it's your first day though. You should probably, don't you think you should use something thicker? Whatever. I need one for the back hole too. The back hole. Yeah. Yeah.

I get so much diarrhea when I have my period. You do. Yeah. Yeah. It's always been like that. I used to and now I don't. I get the opposite problem. You get constipated.

Yeah. Oh my God. And that's where we're different. Yeah. Yeah, our cycles are kind of different now, huh? Yeah. Yeah. I just had a horrific bout in there.

You did. I know you did. I'll tell you about it in a second. Let's start the show. Oh, we haven't even started. I just had a horrific bout in there. I know you did. I'll tell you about it in a second. Let's start the show. Oh, we haven't even started. We've been so enthralled with this guy. Like in Love, We Love Fortune. ["Tamaras"]

Tamaras, right in the butt. What? No. This shit is big time. No. No. Oh, it's Ryan. Don't bring anyone loving to this. Yo mom where the fuck is Dan?

Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Christine, what the shit's interesting. Welcome to your mom's house. Right in the butt. I forgot the this one doesn't have the the correct it was something is the best. Forget what it was. This is the butt. I forgot the, this one doesn't have the, the correct, it was something is the best. Forget what it was. Oh. Hot sauce? This is the best.

Hot sauce is the best. This is the best. I do wish they had an adult version of We Are The Portsons. What? Like she's never heard of. Right in the butt. It's not even a possible spelling of that. Right in the butt.

Oh right, yeah. Yeah. He's just thinking about it. He's just Right in the butt. All right, yeah. He's just thinking about it. He's just thinking about the booty. Is Pat Sajak still hosting this? I think he just retired, didn't he? Isn't this just like his last go around? Or he announced his retirement? Aw, look at him, he looks great.

Yeah. Yeah, final episode airing. One week ago. One week ago. One week ago. Oh wow, okay. And then, what's her name? Vanna White? Vanna White. She still is what has been on the show?

So Vanna, they tried to get rid of her when she got too old. Yeah. And she put up a big stank and was like, no, no, no, you can't replace me, I'm part of the show just cause I'm old. And she kept her job, she still looks great. Which is gay, they should have booted her.

And just get like some young hot thing with big tits. Yeah, no one wants to see her old ass. No, but people who love the show love Vanna. And then, did you know that Christie Brinkley is 70 now? She's 70? Yeah, I just was on the gram. She looks great. What up, Daniel bitch?

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Jesus Christ. Do you remember when she was like the standard? Of course. Like the gold standard. Yeah, of course. Of beauty in America. I mean, there's some incredible genetics there. For sure.

And then also some incredible work there. Classic surgeons. Yeah, that's some incredible genetics there for sure also some incredible Plastic surgeons there. Yeah, that's that's it. You got you kind of makes me think of this actually Just because my legs may be shaking That doesn't mean you're done eating It doesn't mean that you still got to keep eating for her. I got it. Thank you. Got it You know what she's talking about. Yeah, I know What is she talking? I don't want to talk about it Because her her legs are got it it's so cool. She's so cool. They're there. Tanner told us you can buy her panties

Then you can also like FaceTime with her I know I think you should he should get on that. Are you gonna get on it Tanner, Team Money? Yeah. Yeah, we'll hop on that stat. I do like that she's just like a normal mom looking type and guys are still about it. Like you don't have to be. Oh yeah, guys are all about it. It's so wild.

I know it's so, and I didn't learn this till later in life. Guys are all about it. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, yeah. And we're all worried about being young and cute and things. It's just, guys are animals. Animals. It's true.

It's so disgusting. You've probably got a great following. Yeah. It gives me hope in case you die early. I'll have to do this. That doesn't mean you're done eating. Okay, great, thanks Tom. Keep eating. Ugh. I don't know you're done eating. Okay, great, thanks Tom. Keep eating.

Ugh. I don't know. You had diarrhea today. So let me tell you what happened the last like 12 hours or so. So. Yeah. By the way, I've adopted a new moniker in the office. I am the diarrhea detective.

Oh cool, well here's the story. Let's go through it. So I'll start with yesterday morning. Yesterday morning, I have the same kind of routine now. I wake up, I have a little coffee, and then I have to shit. And I did, and it was a pretty normal one. And then I did cardio, I did the bike.

Then we came in here, then I went over to the writers. I'm working on the Netflix show right now, so the writers room is here in Austin, so the writers came here. We had Terry Blacks for lunch. Hold on, because you're not done yet. We ate that around 1.32. Then I came, I went home, I had chicken and rice for dinner.

And then around 10 p.m., I take a dump. And guess what? Healthy., I take a dump. And guess what? Healthy, normal, ideal dump. That's at like 10 p.m. Okay, I'm listening. Then I got ready for sleep, went to bed, wake up again, go to work out.

When I went to work out, I had my little bit of coffee, take a shit. It's a little bit looser, but it's not bad. It's still pretty standard. Sorry, did you eat anything besides coffee? This is on an empty stomach, you did cardio. No, no, no, not cardio. I went to work out, like lift this morning.

Okay. So the dump is before the workout, and it's pretty normal. Dump, like a little bit looser, but not bad. I have only had coffee and water. I do my workout about 45 minutes. Go upstairs, clean up, get dressed, come here. I've only had a little bit of coffee at that point a sip of a protein shake

Not even like the whole thing and I sit down and I'm you guys walk in and I was like I have to shit now And it was a disaster Hmm horrific. Okay. Well, I've got a theory. Okay. I think the barbecue The barbecue is the foundational problem. You put some rice and clean food on top of it. On top of it, yeah. And then eventually it worked its way out, maybe. I don't know.

This isn't really adding up as a theory because the barbecue was first and I had a healthy dump about eight hours after eating it. Okay. Well, I'm going to go with the exercise with you because I know that exercise makes you brown. Sometimes it can, you've said it before. Yeah, that's true. Cardio especially, but I didn't do cardio this morning.

But still you moved, you woke up on an empty stomach. Maybe that's, I feel like there's something you're omitting. Is there a food item you're omitting? Are we forgetting? How much of the, you said a sip of protein shake? Because protein shake can make you diarrhea. Yeah, but it's still mostly full.

I haven't really finished it. Or even- No snacks in the writer's room, no treats. I didn't have any snacks. No sweets. No, I didn't have any sugar. I'm still gonna go with the lag on the Terry Blacks. You think so?

Yeah, it's a lot of grease. Maybe you're pushing out just what was there lower in the intestine. And then later your body's like, oof, like, you know what I mean? Cause you just traveled too. Yeah. Oh, but you had diarrhea there too.

Cause I don't know. It's a great mystery. It is. Let me think on it a bit. Yeah. I'm gonna go with empty stomach and exercise even though it's not cardio per se Sometimes I can loosen things up go ahead and weigh in on what you think it is. Wow Let us know. I know that you'd want to see this cuz you're a big fan

I'm gonna get banned from this. I fucking hate this guy so much. That is right, we're about to get banned from Disney. Last summer I got my cake pops removed and the plan up until recently was to get my marshmallow wand reconfigured into a marshmallow tunnel. Unfortunately a few weeks ago I noticed some hair regrowth on my marshmallow wand. That's bad because the outside of the wand is what becomes the inside of the tunnel so you don't want hair growing there or else it's very uncomfortable. I hate that he's doing it after. I talked to my surgeon and he said that it would be best

to postpone the procedure until after hair removal is complete. This is obviously disappointing because I was really excited to have a marshmallow tunnel sooner. That being said, it is still happening. We're just not sure when it's happening. Hair removal is a fickle thing and it's really hard to predict when it will finish. But my hair removal technician thinks it will be before the end of the year. So, fingers crossed.

Oh, good. Yeah, I didn't really realize that. I mean, it makes sense that the hair on your pickle becomes your tunnel. So if you have hair there, then it's inverted and you'll have hair growing inside of you. Could be uncomfortable. I know, but like, what's he gonna do for the rest of his life? Like, once it becomes a tunnel, it could still possibly grow.

Do you know what I mean? That's so much. It's a really unique choice to use candy at Disneyland. Yeah, it's so fucked up. Well, he does this because TikTok will ban you if you make- If you use language like that. Yeah, this goes to restaurants

and then waits to get misgendered by like this Salvadorian busboy to ruin his life. And I absolutely can't, I don't care if they're trans. He's having a nice feast. She, she, she her. Yeah. She her. It's okay, it's all good. But it was not all good. I absolutely can't I don't care if they're trans Sheer But it was not good I Use she her pronouns. I'm not sir. Yeah, like it's like a knife in the heart Yeah, I also did specifically ask ahead of time not to be called sir

Well, they had their balls removed. So that's probably why they're pretty upset about it. You know, if you have your balls removed and someone's like, hey, sir, you're like, I kind of made a big step yeah, towards this choice, if you don't mind referring to me as as you should, as I desire, because my balls are no longer here. I know, but here's why. It's always like sweet immigrant.

I know. It's not a guy who cares. Like tell it to a- I arrived in- Yeah, they don't know. My family, I send the money I make back to the thing. El Salvador, yeah, they make $5 an hour. Half of that goes back to their family.

It's like, okay, you're picking the wrong fights. I know, I mean to say wrong thing, please. I know. You're fired, okay, you're picking the wrong fights. I know I'm mean to say wrong thing, please. I know. You're fired. You're fired, talk to the manager. Stop. You're fired, you fucking idiot. I know, I hate it.

And by the way, okay, I'm being a really catty woman right now, fashion, it's not good. You know what I'm saying, Link? I feel like I should start. Crop top, that's not good. It's so hard to pull one, it's not. Like you need to be styled. Why can't trans men, there needs to be a service

where they can have a woman style them. Because they dress the way men think women dress, not the way women dress. Well, I mean, I've seen women in those. And his hair is fucked. I think women in those tops before? Yeah, in 1992, this is. Oh, so that's an outdated top. I would I see where it's fucked. I think women in those tops before yeah in 1992 This is the outdated totally outdated This is like Mariah Carey in a video in 92 and like the hair is jacked

I would straighten this person's hair makeup no bueno like this person needs a total Woman makeover sure I could probably help Yeah, something tells me this person wouldn't want your help. No, because I'd be like, listen bitch, you look like a fucking dude. Yeah, yeah. I think you're probably the wrong person to. Yeah, you fucking.

Yeah. Let me help you. Okay. I could help. I could help, but I won't, because I hate that they get busboys fired. Makes me so angry. Do you get headaches when you have your period? Mmm, I used to do.

Sometimes. And you know what actually really helps? What? This is really actually a super effective treatment for this. This is real. I don't know why we're not doing this over here. In the West, no one's doing this. That's a lot of blood. Are we gonna stop or?

Well, you gotta get the headache to go away. Where is he doing this? At the manicurist? This is not even a... I think it's like a salon, but the salon's in a guy's apartment. It's fine. Is that just like an artery?

They just puncture an artery at the nail salon? Well, it's how you relieve foreheads pain. Yeah, they used to leech you back in the day. Just drain the blood out of you and then the blood won't make you have a head pain. I see any not on board. What's going on with you? Why?

Why, why, why it immediately goes to me? Because I saw your face go. that's fucking what the hell is happening is he gonna die in like 10 minutes like no he's just gonna have no more headache that's it that's all this is the Middle East man I just got back from there they're on top of shit I like this idea they are yeah yeah we should be adopting this okay that's what it's called. If you do that. Yeah. It's beautiful.

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you can do to relieve a headache. Yeah, that is good. That works. I know you would actually, this is the other one I wanted to play before we break. This is for you I'm a city boy farmer. Oh me everything I'm doing is organic now homie Palabra check it out. Oh my god the garden homie. Yeah, it looks good. Check out the little chickies homie Yeah, we're doing this homie. Look at check out my levels not those ones these ones homie Organic where was right here?

Hot cheeky tell him what's up cheeky. Look. I don't think he likes it homie. We're showing his levels Look see you won't even look at it Organic shit, we're doing now homie This is my only that shot to me. Yeah, she me Is what they should be doing in every prison? Yeah, Norway has it down good idea where they do like they have them Farm the land and all this this shit softens people for sure You know like growing your your food and working with animals telling you the fact that we don't do this more It's really a shame. There was a prison that was giving inmates cats

Yeah, if they were on good behavior, they could adopt a cat And I think that's beautiful because animals do bring out a softer side of you And they humanize and a lot of these guys are not good with people. Yeah, but they're good with you know They won't kill a cat. Yeah, some of them won't And if they do they're, no more cats for you. You snapped our last cat's neck. If they start cutting them up, like a serial killer. Yeah.

Yeah. Totally. Do you feel like that's less of a deterrent though? What's that? To go to prison, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, I mean, look, I'm just gonna farm. Fuck it, I'll go to prison, you know what I'm saying? I mean, no one ultimately probably wants to be there.

But yeah, if you're like, man, no one's really helped me get a garden going out here. All I want is to grow basil. Well, I think it should be for the best behaved inmates. Obviously the top 10%. You've proven you've been there for five years or whatever. And then one day you're like, hey man, let me grow some tomatoes, dog.

You know what I'm saying? Prison's like, all right. I've been good, I haven't started shit. I wanna see what happens, you know? I wanna grow my own lettuce and shit, dog. Yep. And then they, okay, you've been good, Joker. You get over it.

That would be pretty tight or grumpy or fucking dopey. Fuck, let me get a goat, dog. Let me see you get my own milk, motherfucker. Dude, but this is real. Remember when we lived in the rampart division? Yeah. Like, these fools have chickens everywhere. Everywhere, yeah. Like, they were running on people's lawn Yeah, like these fools have chickens. Oh, yeah everywhere everywhere Yeah, like they were running on people's lawns like when you drive

Totally And then our neighbor at one point had a rooster that shit was waking up whole neighborhood up like For like a city that size that's the most impressed I've ever been with the response of like one of the you know like emergency type services. Not that it was emergency but we call it when you call it animal control and you're like this motherfuckers got a rooster that wakes everybody up at 5 a.m. They came that day lickety split. Yeah, that's the only time I've been like You can call 9-1-1 and be like I got shot and they'll be like we'll see we'll see what we can do

But we told about a rooster and they were like on top of that's California, you know, they care about the animals They do dude over like people ASAP they used to have people getting shot. ASAP. They used to have gunshot tracers in our neighborhood. The Echo, they would put these, you see these speakers up everywhere and you're like, what is that?

It's like a sonar. It can pick up exactly where the gunshot came from. Sure, pretty cool. And the helicopters. Choppers every night. That's how I built my love for helicopters. It was living in that neighborhood. Now you're gonna drive one.

They would shine the light in our windows. Oh my God, and now our sons, when we see a helicopter, it's in the vent. It really is like an abusive technique though. Yes it is. Because they would fly just around our building, shine the light in everybody, and you're like, what is this?

What are you doing this for? And it's just to kind of terrorize you, to keep you, you know what I mean? It's to keep you thinking like, you know, we got our eye on you, don't fuck around. Big brothers watching. But they did that in the San Fernando Valley in the 80s too, like when I lived in Canoga Park.

They, that's what fucking LAPD does. They just kind of met, you're right, slow drip. It's a slow drip. Like a menace. The valley they did it all. Every night that light would come through the living room. Dude, even in Tarzana, they would fucking shine the light in your apartment.

And you're like, what is this? For what? Shit, it's abusive. What are you doing? Let's take a peachy break. Okay. And then, where is this? Palabras.

Palabra. I love Cholo's so much. Your mom's house will be right back. And we're back. And joining us from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, it's Matt and Shane. Woo! Thank you guys for coming in.

Hell yeah. We're talking about your unique features. Yep. You're both black. Thereof. Very super white guys. You guys look really alike. Are you related, possibly? Very likely, yeah. Occ guys look really alike. Are you related possibly?

Very likely, yeah. Occasionally I lose weight and people are like, then we look the same. Oh right, yeah. Both from the motherland. Sometimes I gain like 50 pounds and I look just like Burt. So I can see. Yeah, I get real red.

And swollen. And my kidneys are distended. everyone's like you look like Bert I'm like, yeah Yeah, so I get it true. Get it. Yeah, I get Billy a lot too. Yeah Big brother, oh that you look like yeah. Yeah, I have a big little brother Yeah, well, did you guys grow up near each other in PA now you met in New York or no in Philly? Yeah, do a stand-up there. Yeah, so No. You met in New York or no? In Philly. Oh, in Philly. Doing stand-up there? Yeah.

So it was Philly before New York. Yes. How long were you guys doing stand-up in Philly? I was there longer. I was there from like 23 till like last year. So, the time I was 23, not 2023. Not 2023, cause that wouldn't be that long. My personal 23.

Yeah. So when was that? Yeah, when was your personal 23? Let's say I graduated college, 2009 around that nine onward, okay? Yeah Okay, and then you guys go to New York. I didn't go to New York. You never went stayed in Philadelphia the whole time I couldn't hand it actually used to be my you know when you start doing like club gigs, and you're you know There's so many that suck balls, and then there's ones where you're like, man, this is like a fucking treat.

I felt like that Philly helium was one of those surprises where you get there for the week and you're like, I'll just see how it goes, and you're like, holy shit. The weeks were really fun there. Helium was the best. Yeah, that was the mother club. Was, is it closed now? No, we just haven't done it in a while.

Yeah, they're successful. And we started there. We were there all the while. Yeah, yeah. They're successful. And we started there. I'm sorry. We were there all the time. Yeah, becoming like a, getting five minutes on that open mic was life or death for so many people. Well, I felt like the whole thing was like, you know,

like if somebody, I don't know Philly at all, but it's like if you're thrown in there to work the club, like that area that it's in was always like fun. Like it was fun to go out. The staff was really cool. The crowds were great. So the whole mix of the week was like a super fun week. Yeah, it was cool too.

There was also an improv theater right across the street. So it was like kind of like the sharks and the jets. You see how they see the improv kids and be like, fuck it. They're gay. Yeah, yeah. And they would talk shit on us and then we'd sell out the room

and then they'd be out there with their gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they would talk shit on us, and then we'd sell out the room, and then they'd be out there with their parents. Yeah. The four of their parents that showed up. To support them, yeah. That was fun. Yeah. Oh, that's what I remember now.

I was there for a week when I, I have this story in one of my specials about seeing a public fight, a racial fight. It's about seeing a racial exchange. And it was in that park. It was in a park in Philly. I forget, it's near maybe Rittenhouse Square. Yeah, and there was, it was the,

Aptly named. It was the, Kyle Rittenhouse Park. Right after that went down, it was a guy who yelled. He screamed. That's why everyone we turn our heads is that this white dude screams the N-word across the park.

And usually, you know, if you hear that in public, you're like, what's gonna happen right now? And then I just saw like a black dude who was literally like in some bushes pop out. Like, he was just like, he was waiting. He lived in the bushes and he popped out and he charged that guy. I was like, he's gonna fuck this dude up.

And he just went and tackled this guy. And then there was just people jumping on. I was like, this is a melee. Like, melee. Suicide. Yeah, that is. He went down the ridgeline house and screamed the N word. I'm done with life.

I'm done with life, I'm done with life. Yeah, it's fucking throwing the towel in for sure. There was a guy who hit the N-word, I think right around Rittenhouse. Remember that guy who gave a Black Lives Matter speech? It was one of the funniest speeches of all time. He's like this Italian construction worker from Philly and he's giving, like he's trying to be not racist.

He's like, I'm white, you're black, we're all in this together, we're all. Oh, and we're. Everyone's like, oh no. He's like, hold on, hold on. No, no, no, let me finish the speech. Oh no, I didn't know a guy did that. It was one of the best speeches.

He just crafted a way to say it. He was trying so hard to bring the people together. There's this guy one time giving a speech about like racism on CNN and he's a He's an Italian dude, and I think he's talking to Wolf Blitzer and he's talking about racism and language He's like, you know when our people got here in like the 50s They used to call us and then he calls him he says like It's it's some old

Expression I've never heard but it's supposed to be for Italians, but it has the N word in it. And then you could see Wolf was like, yeah. Yeah. He's like, all right, thanks buddy. And he keeps doing it, and he's like, so people need to stop saying that shit. And they're like, all right,

thanks for jumping in on this. No, we're done with that. You're the one doing it. Thanks for jumping in on this Yeah Italians only the race relations. It's not a good yeah, you want to kind of you know, I'm like, yeah Yeah, they have too many hot takes you're like, yeah Bringing in a racial experts never good. Yeah, they love to cry to be like we were treated bad It's like shut up. Yeah, not us Irish. Yeah, but head down Yeah, you guys you guys kind of roll along and get along with most right like yeah. Yeah who us yeah personally no

No, you guys Irish kind of keep to themselves and don't the land it's a land of poets You don't catch a lot of strays people are always like we love you Right do people hate the Irish well British no no all right? Yeah that whole thing Yeah, use can be a little tough on the Irish. Do people hate the Irish? Well, other than the British, no. Oh, right, yeah, that whole thing. The Jews can be a little tough on the Irish, too. Is that right? No. The Jews can be.

I was so excited for a millisecond. I was like, whoa. I guess probably lately, though, because Ireland's very, very free Palestine. Is it? Yeah, like crazy. Really? And they always have been.

I didn't know that. Oh, right, because they feel like they're an oppressed people of it, right? So they see the Israelis as the oppressor. Yeah, it's like murals in Ireland of like an IRA guy and a PLO. Have you toured Ireland? Only Dublin. Yeah. Yeah.

But great. Love it. I had the fucking most fun. I think it was my favorite city. Really, Dublin? Yeah. Super fun. But the Irish are always like like get the fuck out of Dublin, right? Like when I was there, they're like you got to get out Dublin

What and we're gonna wear it? Not for the show obviously the show is great, but they're like to see Ireland They're like leave Dublin. Oh to go see like the yeah the countryside and stuff for sure I went there when I was little good. I got hammered. I was 14 They don't give a shit. Yeah, they truly don No, I was 14, I would steal pint glasses. Yeah. Nice. Saddle one. Yeah, you were a real Irish kid.

That's nice. Saddle one. Cut my butt, my dad had to check my butt in the gas station bathroom, I wasn't happy with that. It was like an Irish tale. It's like an old Irish story. Let me see your ass. I was like, no, dad.

You know, we usually play a lot of clips on this show. Yeah, and there's one actually from your show That we love just there's layers to it. Okay, we've watched this a lot. It's very very fun What's going on here, Matt? Chilling, dude. Just fucking, you know. What's all this mumbo jumbo you got yourself into, dude? Some of us prize fast cars, dude. This is my stuff.

This is what I ball out of. What is this? The fucking high spirits, dude. Kia G-minor 432 Hertz. Seat on the Insigia. Rainbow Moonstone with the exact ripple that 432 makes on water or sand. This needs to stop. What? That's all? This is whatever this character is. Moonstone with the exact ripple that 432 makes on water or sand It's nice though, it's kind of like as a clip why it's great Is you having a specific kind of weird thing and then you're kind of you're disdained for it

Like the fact that you're bothered by it is just an Amazing clip. Yeah, it is that was funny. How did you get a love of flutes? Uh, I like to play instruments just decided to bother me one day. It was my older brother was like my older brother texted me He's like, yeah, you know, it's sick. Check these out. I was like I looked at him. I was like, yeah, they are sick So I just ordered sick my brother Tom and I was was like it's actually so those holes are lined up perfectly It's just a pentatonic scale so any note you hit you can't go wrong and you mentioned the hurt the Hertz's 432 Hertz yeah, that's music traditionally is that I think 440 Hertz and there are some theories that it's actually kind of bad for you, and you should be rippling at 432

And why is it bad? 32 it's just like I think they say it has like an agitative effect, whereas 432 has more of like a calming. There's frequency research. They're really sharp. I don't know, don't get mad at me. I'm not getting mad at you. I just love the idea of that.

I don't know, it sounds good. It was awesome. It was pretty awesome. And you're nice at the flute. I'm alright, yeah I can. Yeah, you're good. That's a G. That's a G.

G minor. G minor. Because every flute's in a different key. You can get like A, G. They are, yeah. So if you, you're good. That's a that was day one That's a G G minor G minus every flutes in a different key. You get like a they are yeah So if you want to like jam well Guess what what we have a surprise for you Dude thank you F Perfect. I can actually start pretty well enough. Oh

rare barrel boy Yo, that's beautiful. Thank you. Yeah It's a double barrel guy too. Double looking. Wow. Ah, it's beautiful. Wow. I feel like I'm in the Celtic tradition now and there's fairies and... He's shaking his head. Come on, come on.

Oh, I forgot, I forgot a note. Yeah. I can tell. It's hard because it's the same note. It's hard because it's the same note. It's hard because it's the same note. It's hard because it's the his head. He's like, come on, come on. Oh, I forgot, I forgot a note. Yeah. I can tell. It's hard because it's set up for a double octave.

What is this thing? This is for another octave. Those are the birds. Of course. Of course they are. Oh, it's so beautiful. Gorgeous. I've got to turn down my headphones a little.

Well, it's tough. I have to play this one side, otherwise it gets kind of complicated. Are you supposed to play both? Well, if you wanna add an effect, yeah. Let's hear it. I don't want you guys to fall into a trance. Yeah. Oh wow.

It's beautiful. Oh, I feel the resonance, do you? This might not be 432 though. Oh, it's 432. Is this 432? Oh, it's 432. When you play both, is be 432 though. Oh, it's 432. Is this 432? Oh, it's 432. When you play both, is it 432?

Oh, wow. It's really good, dude. Yeah. He's gonna keep going. I'll keep playing the way he keeps playing. Wow, that was really nice. Thank you so much. I could have played a nice Celtic ditty, but.

I felt like that was. That was it? That was more like it. That was more like it. That was a little bit more like it. That was a little bit more like it. That was a little bit more like it. That was a little bit more like it. That was a little bit more like it. That was a little bit more like it. That was a little bit more like it. That was a little. Thank you so much.

I heard you played a nice Celtic ditty but I felt like that was. That was more rabid. They're blessing your future. This guy is cranking out for us. Everything that is not supposed to be part of the movie. Get it out of there. There you go.

Damn dude. I they blessed it for you. It hurts. I love that stuff. Yeah let's go. You know what though, people make fun of stuff like this but if the placebo effect, it's like the most consistent finding across all medical studies. So the sleep, like it actually works. Like that, like oh that's bullshit but it makes them feel better so.

Sure. Yeah it works. It's the most reliable finding. This is meant, this is directly to you here from the general. The rare bird flute maker. I, this is directly to you here from the, The Rare Bird Flute Maker. I made this amazing flute for you. As you know, I don't know if you've seen the video yet,

but it's made out of sepile. It's tuned to F sharp. And I got it right on the back here, so just in case you ever forget. And it is to the 432 Hertz frequency that you absolutely love. Sorry for saying it wasn't. and what I did here was I put Black limba bands on the top and the bottom of the flute and then also match that on the inside of the birds

There's a piece of black limba right there Hmm, and it its voice is incredible. I just got the chill So yeah, we were watching videos of you playing to get the correct hand orientation Which side we're gonna put these on so we actually you're a right hand on top player So this is gonna be perfect. A lot of thought went into this. Yeah, it's crazy. Was the holes on the left side makes it a lot easier for you to play. Well, this is a longer video, but yeah That's so nice man. Yeah, I'll play this one at home. Absolutely and hopefully you can play it Well this is a longer video, but we'll send it to you. Damn, that's so nice, man. Yeah, I'll play this when I get home. Absolutely, and hopefully you can play it on the podcast.

Yeah, I could play that thing for hours. Honestly, I don't hate it. Oh, you don't? No. I think he's really, I was shocked how good he was. Part of the joy was that I saw happiness from you and disdain. And that was what the whole thing was. Oh, I was just doing a bit.

Damn. Yeah. Yeah, we're deep character actors. We're actually British. We're from England. Yeah, that's it. Oh, I was just doing a bit. Damn. Yeah. They were deep, we're deep character actors. We're actually British. We're from, we're from England. Yeah, I get it, I get it. Well, I didn't want you to feel empty handed, so we got you something too.

Oh, nice. So they'll bring it in here for you, but this way you don't feel like, hey, what, Matt gets everything in there? Yeah. So, if you could just. I wish I put on a better performance. Oh, nice. I'm feeling really terrible.

Right here. Oh, I see what that better performance. Oh nice. I'm feeling really terrible. Right here. Oh I see what that is. Yeah. Guys. Damn. Those are yours man. Those are 432. Those are 432 for sure.

This is big for me. Yeah right. Especially there's a shortage around here and this could honestly be a little bit to do with it. This is. What's your favorite flavor? Spearmint, but you guys got all the good ones. Yeah.

Citrus and Chill are two and three for me. Yeah. The odds of this are crazy. What's the flavor of Chill? This was from the phone call from Victoria. Oh really? Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, yeah, I was gonna say those. Spearmint's my favorite too. Yeah. But I'm a rogue guy, I don't know. I mean, I'll sense. Well, yeah, I was gonna say those. Experiments my favorite too. But I'm a rogue guy. I don't know. I mean, I'll do zens for sure, but I always go rogues. But I mean, I'm happy to. I'm incredibly addicted to these things.

So thank you guys. Yeah, of course. Hopefully it continues. How long will that last? Each one of those will be a week. Okay. Oh, this is a lot. It's gonna take me to the fall. 2026, man. It's great. Well, thanks for the gifts, man. Oh, this is a lot. It's gonna take me to the fall. It's gonna take you to 2026, man. Yeah.

It's great. Well, thanks for the gifts, man. Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. Yeah, this is really nice. We're super stoked you guys are here. Matt, does your wife appreciate your flute playing? She hates it.

That's tight. She hates it. I'll have the kids yelling too, and I'll just be blasting a flute, and she gets very upset. And you play other instruments too? Piano and guitar, yeah. Dude. Really?

You should've seen him on Kill Tony. We did the live Kill Tony for New Years. There was a guy playing guitar and Matt was like, let me see that real quick. Shredded in front of an entire arena. That's pretty cool. It was one of my favorite moments ever, yeah. I couldn't hear myself playing though.

Because that's the thing that all of us, whether you play instruments or not, when you do stand up in front of large crowds, you always go, Yeah, but musicians man That's gotta be a damn. I wish I was playing music. Yes It was one of the better experiences in my life I couldn't hear myself play so I was just like but the crowd went fucking nuts Yeah, they did I could tell everyone I was shocked. Yeah, you started ripping. I was the cars my real instrument

I can actually play guitar piano. I'm learning in the flute. I remember what you when you when you did that. I just sold it. I just did like a freestyle solo Actually the same Pentatonic minor that's like the blues scale. Okay, so they're playing I think in like a minor So are you a kid playing like you were always a teenager when I was a teenager? I started playing guitar. Okay? Yeah My history teacher I was self my brother taught me a little bit then I self taught then my history teacher I just smoke weed with him in high school. He taught me guitar. That's a cool teacher Is that allowed? No, you're fired Because somebody he was an atheist in a Catholic school

Oh, so they already had it out for him But then somebody put porn on one of like the school TVs while in his home room and they use that as like the silver bullet Did you get him out there? But there is always that one cool high school teacher at least from the 90s that would smoke cigarettes with students or get high There's always one even in college. Yeah one professor who we get high with us. They usually fuck the kids. Yeah, that's right He didn't fuck me or my friend, but I'm sure he fucked other people. Was he putting it out there at all? He wasn't putting in okay. I will say here's being cool is putting it out there at all? He wasn't putting it, okay, I will say here's. I mean, being cool is putting it out there.

Yeah, true. So he was newly divorced. Oh my God. He's smoking cigs with high school chicks? Hell yeah, dude. No, even worse. You wanna know when worse? That guy's jacket is.

Here's something so fishy, like looking back, dude. So I don't, it was a. I can't wait for this reveal, by the way. Looking back, she's gonna be like, looking back when I knew he would give me a back massage. Go ahead. No, no. I just didn't know that dudes were like this.

I actually believed you guys were people, and now I know better. I'm like, just horny and stuff. Anyway. He's like, it was me and my other, a male friend, just a friend. For sure. We're philosophy students.

No, no, we didn't. No, obviously, I'm not sure. And this professor was like, hey, I've got this, this I've got Annie Hall this movie on VHS back then that's how old I am and I'm like yeah, you come over to my house, so he came to my fucking shitty house like my victim I had to piss me off if I were you And we sat in my dingy ass like shitty apartment You know and my friend okay, and we apartment Just you and him? No, and my male friend Okay

And we watched Annie Hall and nothing weird happened But then he would invite us to his place for dinners and stuff He was always like how you don't have to bring your friend You know? He came to your house like your high school house Bro my college like even like my shitty ass He starts ripping on him I had five roommates

Like Oh he was a college teacher He was a college professor Oh it's on That's part of the, but he didn't fuck me or my friend Yeah, maybe he's trying to fuck my friend now that I think about it my male friend No, you can tell if he's trying to fuck you or your friend. Come on. I was so oblivious back then But I said through any hole though. I mean he was definitely trying to get posted. Yeah Obvious awful Long the first five minutes? Awful, it's so long.

The first five minutes are brilliant and then it's just downhill. I've never seen it. Oh shit, anyway, dude, he never fucked us. That's right, and he didn't do the thing where he was like, hey, fucking Rob, right? He didn't do that? And then I had a professor at Oxford one time,

who, this one's even, this one's shifty. Yeah, I did a year abroad. That's awesome. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, I did a year abroad. That's awesome. Yeah, it was great. Anyway, he was married, but his wife taught it in a different part of the city or whatever. Anyway, one time he goes, I forget how it came up, he goes, yeah, Christina, you're pretty but not beautiful.

Like he would cut me down a little bit. He negs you. He negs you, he's a pick-up artist, yeah. Yeah, and I was kinda like, I don't give a fuck, why are you telling me this, bro? I don't care, I don't lead with my looks anyway. Obviously I'm here in Oxford, anyway. And then he's like, let's have, we should have drinks

and talk, because I had him write me a letter of recommendation to go to law school. And he's like, let's have drinks one time. And I was like, yeah, okay, again, I'm so oblivious to men. Sure, yeah. And so we made it the school bar and we're having drinks and I whatever he's saying is going over my head cut to we Have a dorm party and I bust in on him and the cross-eyed girl the fat cross-eyed girl in our program

Frenching in the kitchen do you like fully? He's a professor. Yeah, you think he used the same line on the fat cross-eyed Oh, yeah, you're not hot, but you're pretty It's nice to think about like an Oxford gentleman reading the game and just like picking up like technique Fat cross-eye in the kitchen is that we've all been there. Yeah. Yeah, a little drunk you go little drinks in yeah, sorry Yeah, I can deal with this Yeah, also they get that separate am I crossing the eyes you're like damn am I doing that? Did you guys have any professors that made out with people that you know about No, no Not at all. I didn't really talk to my professors at all though. I still held down like pretty high school mentality in college

I was like you're the teacher fuck you. Yeah, I hate school. Yeah, so yeah, I didn't talk to my professors at all though. I still huddled down like pretty high school mentality in college, I was like, you're the teacher, fuck you. I hate school. So yeah, I didn't really build a, I didn't know you were allowed to talk to them. I would just get down to class and be like later. I used to throw stuff in college, that's how I matured. Throw stuff? I would throw stuff.

What do you mean? Like I would just throw shit at the teachers. Racers and shit. Like high school, I would take loose change and throw it. I was in an auditorium room and I pegged somebody and everyone was like, what the fuck were you doing? I was like, I thought we did that at school, my bad. That is, that is.

That's so angry. It's the worst feeling. You're so rebellious. It's the worst feeling, thinking like, I'm about to do something cool, everyone's gonna think I'm the man, day one of college. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I did that in Spain, I lived in Spain and I went out, I was teaching English and I went out with all these teachers What city were you in? I was in Madrid. Oh, yeah And I was with all these teachers and we went to like a concert and I was like, oh we're gonna get fucked up Right and in Spain, they don't drink like that. They're drinking like very slow. Yeah, and I was like, hey everyone watch this And I did the top off a beer and jugged it and they were all like Couple left off a beer and chugged it. And they were all like, no, no, no, no, no. Like they grabbed my arm while I was doing it. And a couple left, two of them left.

We don't want to be with this guy. This guy that handled it. I'm sorry. I did a semester there too. Really? Yeah, it was great. Loved it. Madrid rules.

That's awesome. Love Madrid. I just did it on tour too. Really? It was fucking awesome. Yeah, you can speak. Yeah, but I did an hour in English. Oh nice.

And then just did the end in Spanish, yeah. Damn. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, but I did an hour in English. I'm just just did the end in Spanish. Yeah Yeah, that's good. They don't even complained The Americans are at the show. They're like what the fuck was up with the Spanish? We're in Madrid You're in a Spanish-speaking country Yeah, they're fucking assholes Yeah, everyone's every guy's always trying to get fucking assholes. Yeah everyone's every guy's always trying to get pussy no matter what. Like this guy here this is all about pussy. Good morning my name is Glitch and today I have some light

language for you to raise your own frequency of light within your own consciousness but also the frequency of the planet as a whole. So if you'd like to accept you can stay on this page and say yes and receive the energy if not you can scroll on by and go to the next video. See he's just doing Cuz there's eight chicks it'll be like yeah fuck that yeah, like that's so cool that he knows how to speak black language. Or just a drunk driver just can't fucking. Some guy that's in a thin Lizzie, just shit faced. Bam, just fucking crashes into him. Yeah, this is definitely a guy, possibly the horniest dude.

Once you hit this level, you are absolutely brimming with. Cause you've tried other stuff. Yeah. You know, you've tried. Skateboarding. You've tried having short hair, you know. You've tried shaving and like you've just having short hair. You've tried shaving. And like you've just like, it hasn't worked for you. These guys are the low key players.

Like they fucked the whole campus bro, but they don't talk about it. But you morph into this. This isn't like a way. But they make friends with girls. White dreads weed guy at college, yes. That guy gets laid homie, because he's got the good drugs and he's not gonna put it out there

that he fucked you and your friends. So you'll bang him, because he's cool. I've interacted with people like this actually a lot. And I used to envy them, because I remember I was, I was married before and I got divorced, unfortunately, but it was like, well, fortunately, I guess I have my kids now. But like, I remember trying to make a regular wife,

give her a vacation, and then like showed this lady a rock and she was overjoyed and I was like fuck Oh, just showing her the rock. She was so happy. He gave her a f- something like- I don't know if it was even a crystal necessarily It was just a dirty rock. It was just like a cool quartz thing. I guess that's a crystal But like I remember thinking like damn these guys also are very I mean not I don't know that guy but hippies are very treacherous Yeah, they all just wanted to sustain this lifestyle where they can go follow like a grateful dead covered band I've watched they would rip each other off and like it's very it's a cut third existence True story. I'm friends with two hippies that got married and like treachery, bro They ended up being swingers and he impregnated some other chick.

Now he's a shaman and like just no, it's just so shady. Yeah, run away from those guys. Yeah, run. Sometimes you can't though, they just fucking. Yeah. They get you in. Yeah. They catch up to you.

Yeah, they do. With their light work? True. Yeah, if you're on like an eighth of mushrooms at like the Splintered Sunlight show, that'll get you. Yeah. Yeah, you you're on like an eighth of mushrooms at like the splintered sunlight show that'll get you This is just all nonsense and he'll tell you I'm fluent Shit he's like I speak this light language speaks nine languages That's how he gets the girl over. He's like you you wanna learn? I could teach you if you come over.

Oh yeah. The dating profile's probably nice. Yeah. 100%. Just in wingdings. You know what's going on. Yeah. Wow.

Yep, he's got his necklace on. Congrats on tires. Yeah. Thank you very much. So funny. Thank you, yeah, I should promote it. What was the, what was the, like, cause you guys made this on your own. Like you sold Yeah, I should promote it. What was the what was the

Like because you guys made this on your own like you sold it to them afterwards, right? We made the whole thing and then sold it. Yeah So when you did you make it with that plan or you're like, we're just gonna make this and we made it out Yeah, we made it we knew if we sold it online, we'd at least get our money back, right? So you're gonna do it on your own. Yeah. Yeah, but then once we made it we're like, this is actually pretty good we should try to sell it to somebody. Yeah, and Netflix was cool enough to buy it and not fuck with it It was great. That's awesome. And you have season two already season two. Yeah, you got season two coming and I'm excited to get actually write it like this one John John McKeever did

Literally everything the whole thing. Like wrote it, directed it, edited it. Wow. He's a freak. It's insane, dude. He's a true freak. That's how you do Gilead and Keeves? Yeah.

Yeah. And he did that also. Right. Everything. Everything. But with tires, I like forgot we filmed it, almost. Like we did it in like August, or I forget exactly when we did a year ago

yeah, like last summer okay ish and then I Would like go I'd forget it'd be like three months later, and I'd like call John be like what's up, dude He's like I've been editing. I've been editing since we left in my basement. He never stopped He worked for months on that thing. Yeah, he's a freak That's fucking awesome. Yeah, that's crazy. And he'd be throwing Bridgerton,

which was a huge victory for me. And we got Bridgerton. Wow. We got Bridgerton for a few days, but Bridgerton called their ass back. It's girl porn. It is girl porn. Yeah, it's total girl porn.

We had Bridgerton for three days. That's a fucking, that's a good feeling. Yeah. I had one of my specials. It's so gay and great. And I wanna be a cool girl and not like it, but I'm dead. It's perfect for girls. It's so gay and great and I want to be a cool girl and not like it, but I'm dead. It's perfect for girls Isn't it like a like a Jane Austen type? It's like an interracial love story women hate the Handmaid's Tale, but you guys love British society

Love that shit. Yeah, it's totally true. Courtship Drama because it was an innocent time like The idea of like he he has to marry you to bang you like yeah He's gonna lay down his whole life just to get in your pants, bro traditional values exactly. It's the hammond's tail, too just to get in your pants, bro. Traditional values, exactly. It's the handmaidens tail, too. It's the same thing. Yeah, that's so true. That's the same exact thing.

Just as exciting. No, when I, when I, when I had a special come out and we dethroned the Henry Cavill show, that was my greatest pride. God is that. Yeah, God is that, man. I got a, they had, when I put my special on Netflix,

they had that one piece, it was an anime, like a lot like they reenacted it or how do they made a live anime show that they put like a billion Dollars into yeah, and then I came out like you guys ever jackal Where did you guys shoot tires in Westchesterchester. Oh, so you went home basically. We shot it at Steve's dad's tire shop. So that is real. That's a real place. The other thing I liked about the show is I don't know everyone's name, but I recognize people from having seen sketches of yours before. And I love the cast.

Nobody recognized, nobody saw Matt in it. Matt was too good of an actor. I was a cop and no one knew it was me. Yeah. Oh shit. It's going to my head and I have a huge acting ego now. Yeah. I popped up. A huge acting ego now.

You do though. I mean no one knew. People didn't know it was me. They're like bro, you weren't in it. I was like, watch again. Watch again. They were like, what? I wish they kept the part

you took your gun out in front of the bitch. We're having like a bikini car wash and Matt's a cop and he pulls up and starts showing off for the bikini girls. It's like, yeah. That was really great. I'm so nervous. I'm literally having a panic attack every time I'm acting. It's the scariest thing. Yeah, the the funniest part is when he pulls up somebody brought this to my attention. You can see me break as soon as Matt rides up on the bike. I'm like

Here he goes How did you guys get to use like was it is it a former place or it's active like how did you lose it Steve's? Dad's tire shop is right next to this and then they were using that like areas storage And then we went in and dressed it and like made it a garage and we're like you can have it when we're done You actually outfitted it. Yeah, it was like, put lifts in and stuff. And you'll get to use the same place again when you go back?

We're gonna try. You can smell that through the television. Yeah, that place is real. The tire smell. You're like, God, that's so good. Cause my dad had a forklift shop growing up and I know that smell. Yeah, it was real.

Like oil, grease, tires. Yeah, it's very distinct. We used to, my dad and his brothers had a trash company and we see one of his friends had a forklift shop Okay, apparently he was an old guy, and he wouldn't give his employees toilet paper He would make them wipe their ass with magazines. Oh my god I think shots. Yeah, he wasn't American right no He wasn't American right? No way. Shootski I believe is last name. He's a poor.

He's off the fucking hook. Oh my god. That's what the magazines are for. He was old too, he was an old man. And like the shittiness of that shop is so accurate. Like when you're taking a dump and he's giving you your performance and you're like, you said that about me? I'm like, oh my god, I would take shits the same way.

Well the problem is that was actually where we had to shit. And we were filming the entire thing in the garage. So if you had to shit during the day, you were shooting through like a cardboard door. Yes, they're like that in the car. 100 people. The best was, so I didn't know, there was a cute girl on that was working on the show.

And she was like my, I don't know what the word is, but she was like following me The last person on set I wanted to know I was She was waiting outside the door She was like you ready to go down I was like great You've been out here the entire time following me. Oh, Oh no. You know I've been in here for a half hour. She clocked the dump. She clocked the dump, dude. When I was taking my time, I was watching my phone and shit.

Yeah, you're chilling. Disaster, I thought I escaped because I turned my mic, the mic pack's the scariest thing. That's the scariest thing. Mic pack dumps. Do I have to take my 20th? I didn't have a... So what if I killed him?

I didn't have a. So what if I killed him? I didn't have a mic pack dump, but I had a mic on where I shit all over the director. Oh yeah. On a commercial, and I was like, are we gonna have another director for this next one? Because this guy fucking sucks. And then he quartered me at lunch. Oh.

And he was like, you know what you should do when you get back? I go, what? He goes, maybe take some acting lessons. Oh. And I was like, what, what you should do when you get back? I go, what? He goes, maybe take some acting lessons. And I was like, what? This is a crazy thing to say. And then I was like, oh. Damn, good for him though.

Yeah, yeah. That's the right move. Yeah, and then I was like, have you directed before? He was like for 25 years. I was like, oh, I couldn't tell. I'm not familiar with your work. I do other commercials. Yeah, yeah.

Big shot. Big shot, yeah. Oh man. The first time when we filmed the tires pilot years ago, like five, six years ago, we made a YouTube video. I didn't know, that was the first time I ever wore a mic. Yeah. And I'm sitting there just shitting on the sound guy. I'm like, fucking sound guy's a weirdo.

I did it the whole time. Oh yeah. I was at the guy, the only guy that was actually listening. Listening to everything. Oh yeah, dude, I did it when I was at the guy, the only guy that was actually listening. Listening to everything. Oh yeah, dude, I did it when I was on Road Rules in the 90s. I didn't know how that stuff worked either. And I was like, dude, our director, because he's such a fag.

I'm like, no way, dude, this guy's so fucking gay, dude. And of course, he heard, yeah, he's like. That was so weird. I would have to remind everyone, like guys, please just mute yourself. That would devastate me. Bro, it doesn't go away. You forget. You're filming all day and then you're like, you say the dumbest thing you've ever said. There has to be the best stories in the world from that, from like major films too.

Like Bruce Willis just being like this fucking... Yeah, he's probably got some good ones. You get to hear Kevin Spacey doing his thing. Yeah, true. Like Bruce Willis just being like this fucking Mike double he honked that guy. He honked a guy on a house of cards right before the scene You're gonna turn me up to act. Dude, Kevin Spacey went boop. I'm like, yo, it's Spacey. Also, is it Dick or his butt? Yeah, I think it's Dick. His dick, yeah. Damn. He's number one on my list of just bring him back. The guy's incredible. I don't care what he's done.

Does he done much? Has he done much? What has he done? Gay Tom Ford. It was gay Tom Ford. It was gay Tom Ford. It was classic gay stuff. Yeah, but that's Dick Slaps.

You guys do that, not Taps. Yeah, I agree. I was watching that. But the intent, it's like murder. The intent was there. It was definitely groping a guy's dong. Dust him off, groping a guy's dong, he's taking five years off.

I say dust him off, put him back in the game. I think it's ready. Have you seen the double soul shaman, by the way? You know who that is? Sounds familiar, actually. This is. In this episode of What Does the Wild Thing Do? I'm gonna fill this beautiful mason jar

with my beautiful Orin, which is medicinal, especially after some amazing working out or going for a run or pump up some iron. This guy's about to drink his own piss. It's a form of biofeedback and it's a form of self-love. When I drink my own piss, I it's a form of self-love when I drink my own piss I Get this enhanced benefit of self-approval and self-acceptance And really that's all

There is to life because self-love is the only love you so so no wonder the yogis have been doing it for over 5,000 years So I'd say it's pretty hydrated. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my everything that's bad for us Yeah, yeah, oh my everything that's bad for us Like injecting heavy metals and aborted fetal cells right into your body is made to made to seem good and everything That's good for us like drinking your piss is made to seem bad. We live in an inverted clam world So try it for yourself and be your own guru and do it feels good. Yeah, there's another guy certified health nut Who's deep into this as well? He ages the jars. Yeah, we have him Oh, yeah, are you psychic? This is aged urine. This is about six months It's got that nice brown tint to it Oh my god

Gnarly smells like ammonia the research that I've shown is It's good for parasites, it's good for the biome So of course we can drink a little bit and see what happens. What's on the bottom now? The research that I've shown is So of course we can drink a little bit and see what happens what's on the bottom That's what I want to know the way I like to use it ultimately Practically, so you put a little bit in your hand there, then you just rub it on your skin But what a golden tan he does have nice nice, yeah. Yeah. Very nice. He looks great. He was a male model. Okay.

Ball slap. Ball slapping. That's him too, yeah. Yeah, dude. He was leaner here. Get it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's when he published Ripped at 50. That's his book. We were talking about this yesterday on our podcast. Oh yeah? You were right. Certified Health health nut who was the other guy? Was it Wes? Yeah, Wes Watson certified health nut. We were saying if we had a debate if we brought in our best Man-O-Sphere guys and had them battle. I'd never really watched this guy and this guy would be a problem.

He's a savage dude. Belmar might fuck him up. No dude he would destroy Belmar. Belmar might fuck him up. No, dude, he would destroy Belmar. We are these guys totally heteronormative man, man, spheres, or are we? Because our Will Blunderfeld also believes in cupping balls and sucking men's nipples, because that's what the ancient Spartans did. Yeah. I don't know if you're aware of that. It's actually more masculine.

It all just engaged. You know, they'll buy all the supplements, very expensive supplements. Yeah, they never have seen their bros naked. They've never worked out naked. They'll buy all the supplements, very expensive supplements. Yet they've never seen their bros naked. They've never worked out naked. They've never played naked ultimate frisbee. They've never done naked wrestling. And there's a reason why testosterone and sperm counts are at an all-time low.

It's because men are not getting that vitamin that Robert Bly, who wrote Way of Iron John, said is an invisible food that gets transfused between men through the ethers when they get naked and do, for example, ball cupping or ball tapping rituals where you tap your bestest bro's balls and look at his beautiful mushroom head and send good energy into it. These are things that the ancient Spartans did. They would also eat ass. You don't have to eat ass, but there is a good bacteria in your mouth that you can transfuse into your bestest bro's butthole to improve his digestive tract. We already talked about that in another video, but I just wanted to talk about like, why waste all your money on all these supplements when you can literally increase your testosterone

for free simply by just rubbing your mushroom against your bro's mushroom before the workout and then having your balls cupped by your bro and honor each other's balls and then pump some iron. Follow for more tips. It's the Canadian health minister. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, are your guys even talking about this? Yeah, you guys are bestest bros. I mean, we've been naked around each other. Yeah. Great. We've seen each other naked bodies. And it does, it gives you a little bestest bros. I mean we're getting a job. Yeah great I've seen each other naked bodies and it does it gives you a little jolt. Yeah, I think it's good for you I I think I mean rubbing your mushroom. I love it calls it your mushroom. I don't know about rub mushroom

It's a little aggressive. Yeah, that's like I mean you could do that if you want, but I don't know I mean getting naked is kind of electrified. It charges you up. Yeah swimming naked is incredible Electrified charges you up swimming naked is incredible swimming. Yeah, that does feel amazing Unbelievable especially in like like not just a pool, but like in a lake or the ocean that does feel amazing It does the greatest so I mean yeah if you work out feel pretty good that is that's aggressive. Oh what the hell's that? That's him too. There's another ritual. Why is he doing this you'll see? Don't ever try it. Oh, wait. Wait a minute. What? Hold on.

You watch it. We've seen it a few times. Is this his OnlyFans or what is this? No, this is just original. YouTube? Dude, what the fuck is this? Hold on. This is the part you gotta listen to. Oh Hold on this is the part you gotta listen to oh

I'm just enjoying the taste of it. Oh, I'm shameless. I'm fearless. I'm doubtless. Hey, that's the one I'm shameless. I'm I mean dude when you hear about early Christianity coming in and just yeah shutting shit down. Yeah, you are Germans in the woods doing this shit came up to knock that off That's fucked up all right. I was wondering about that though cuz he drinks his pee I was like you'd has to eat his come cuz yeah, of course because it is the ultimate act of self-love. That's how will season true. It's a cup of Hermes. Yeah. Yeah It's all good. This is the She's okay We got we got we got word she's fine. Oh good. Asian women are built different.

True. They are. They can take a very long time. That's how they test at the Hyundai factory. They do reverse safety ratings. Yep, she's good. Put this one on the line. Oh shit!

There was his teeth dude, right? Oh my god! No! Oh! Oh! Damn! on the line oh shit there was his teeth dude right? no oh hell no

hey he just got his leg ran over oh no he's fine dude he's so sauced there's nothing like that fucking like falling like that but also having people comment on it that sucks so much more.

Oh shit! You're like, yeah, I know. But thank God for alcohol, cause he's so relaxed. He is, he's not gonna know this is terrible til tomorrow. No. He'll never see it. Yeah.

There's no way that guy's on the internet. He's just gonna be like, damn, something happened to my legs, fucked up. I guess I'm just getting old. Oh, fuck dude. Did you break your legs? He did double peace on it. That one's my favorite.

That one's great. Oh, fuck. Did you break your legs? Nah, that's terrible. Is he high as fuck? He said nah, I, bro. That's terrible. He's like, nah, I'm chillin'. Nah, he's totally fucked. Dude!

Nah, I'm chillin'. I'm chillin', dude. Double B-side. Nah, he's super fucked. His kneecaps are blown, right? That's fucking crazy, dude. God damn. Dude! They're dangerous.

Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Yes! Go, you fuck! Get in there! Hahaha! Shit! Hahaha! Shit! Oh

Shit is wonderful. Yes, that's fucking great. We said this one earlier. This one's great Mars right in the butt. Right in the butt. Right in the butt. Right in the butt. Right in the butt. Right in the butt. Right in the butt. Watch him click it again.

Watch the certainty. He's like, I got this one. What? Right in the certainty. It's crazy. He's like, I got this one, yeah. What? What? Right in the butt. What? What? Oh, shit. Five G's on the line.

Holy shit. Man. That's crazy. Do you mind if I pee really quick? I hydrated too much. Yeah, sure. I'll be right back. Do you guys want me to keep it in a jar for you?

We're back we peed Were you saying what do you what is this in the break? I was just I was showing Matthew some Simon Rex farts So Simon Rex the actor sends you his farts Yeah, so me and some of our buddies and he would stay at my house when he's in Austin and he just he's a One of the best house guests of all time He literally sits on the couch and watches me play Xbox all day and he has a great time But he hits some of the loudest longest farts I've ever heard. That's incredible. This one is just titled record breaker Hey dude, real quick. Um... **SAD TROMBONE** **SAD TROMBONE** **SAD TROMBONE**

**SAD TROMBONE** **SAD TROMBONE** **SAD TROMBONE** **SAD TROMBONE** **SAD TROMBONE** No way! **SAD TROMBONE** **SAD TROMBONE** That's like 20 seconds. No way. Still going. Oh my god.

It's like 20 seconds. How did he know to grab his phone and record? He knows it. He feels it coming. This isn't a new thing he just discovered. Yeah, that's incredible. When you got one of those in you, you know. You're like, oh shit.

He calls, I gotta get the phone. I'm recording the voice. It's always the morning after, it's specifically movie theater popcorn that I get. Really? Yeah. I can see that. If I go to the movies, get popcorn, doesn't have to be a lot, it's like a small bag.

Whatever that does overnight, it just really gets it. It's the butter, bro. Maybe it's the movie theater butter, I don't know. Yeah, fake butter. It's crazy. I can see that producing. There's definitely things you eat that are like, top notch, yeah, top-notch.

Protein powder. Yeah. Joe Rogan. For me, dairy crushes me. Dairy is like... He's got to have, yeah, he says... Rogan? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll clear it out. Who had a protein fart? Yeah. My brother took Lance Armstrong supplements on time. And they had like chemical smell farts. was messed up still to this day the worst The grossest is a fucking uh h foley our buddy h foley guy. Yeah, you know I troll you garbage He got on a zempic and then he had to stop because he was getting That were like clearing out planes Thought it was a human that made the smell.

They were like, something's wrong. He said that. He said that it was like, yeah. He said it was the most disgusting. It was making him sick to smell. He was like, ugh. That's awesome. So funny.

That's very funny, yeah. So now he's not on the OZs anymore. I don't think he's on anymore. Damn. Damn. Okay. Yeah. Gotta go the old fashioned route.

Did he have a nice run on his epic? Yeah. That's good. He drops some LBs. Yeah, he's losing some the old-fashioned route. Did he have a nice run on his epic? Yeah, that's good drops. He drops him Yeah, he's losing some weight good. Yeah Christina do you want to prepare? Yeah? I don't know if you guys are on tik-tok, but I like to find the outliers people that are underrepresented and give them a voice nice So nice. This is my these are my curations The marginalized folks marginalized Marginalized people. Okay. Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Get off the reins! Yeah, don't touch that horse, dummy. Dude, don't do it man. Oh, that was nice. Yeah, don't mess with the guards, you guys. I saw another one where the guy yelled at people holding onto the reins. It was great.

Get off the reins. It's pretty great. Get off the reins. It's pretty great. Get off the reins. Who do you think you fucking are? Yeah, true. It's government official. I hate horses so much.

I'm terrified of them. Yeah, they suck. They're very scary. Yeah, they are. Standing behind one too is just crazy, man. Oh, fuck. They're terrifying horses. They're so crazy.

This is a new, oh, Paris. This is a man giving love to his pet rat just on the subway. Sorry, it's got a bow on it. The bow changes things. It does. And it's a well fed rat. They're well behaved. Yeah.

Yeah. That, see that rat would not do well with city rats. Like, no, fuck no, that'd be lights out. That might be relative. I was about to say that. Show them how to cook. Ugh. My favorite facial tattoo removals.

So much. That's not going to work. All in one day. So much. It's going to be really painful. So painful. Like the worst, right? The worst.

On your face, too? Oh, man. People say that shit sucks on your arm. I can't imagine what that's like on the face. No. And it's gonna need like 10 treatments too, you know, for it to be gone. At least.

He's bleeding everywhere. Yeah. That sucks. I don't think they're ever gonna lift it totally. He was pretty hardcore at the start. I mean, this dude was living a life. I don't know if pain really registers the same way to him as it does to us, you know? It's lifts. Yeah, when you do the full fucking, the teeth on the teeth. Living a life. I don't know if pain really registers the same way to him

Yeah, when you do the full fucking the teeth on the teeth Just get like this terminator face. It's like oh, that's cool. Yeah ever see terminated before I'm kind of like I enjoy having sex with my girlfriend while she's on her period We just go with the flow Yeah That guy's pretty rad. That's somebody's fucking grandpa. Yeah Talking about pussy

Dude and always with the Christian cross runner next It's a young man's game. Have you been thinking about renting a scooter for your Disney World vacation, but you weren't sure where to begin? Hey everyone, we're plus-size park hoppers. We range in sizes from 2X to 5X. Make sure you like this video and follow us for more plus-size Disney tips and tricks. Disney World trip.

Double X, I'm a plus-size park hopper. Disney World vacations can require a lot of walking, which can be painful and might put a damper on your vacation. For longer trips, one of us always rents a scooter and she prefers to rent through Gold Mobility. Renting a scooter through Gold Mobility is much more cost-effective than renting through Disney. And you don't even have to rope drop the ECB counter.

Their most durable model is the Maxima, which has a 500 pound weight capacity. Much like Hercules, this thing really goes the distance. Between the captain's chair and adjustable steering, this thing is the Cadillac of scooters. All of Gold Mobility's Victory line of scooters come with a fan, a phone holder, and an accessory of your choice.

The fan really came in handy during our trip in August. It gets super hot. When you're not using the fan, there's even an available USB to charge your phone, which is a great amenity. They dropped off the scooter right at our resort and the driver even texted us when they were on their way. Batteries on these scooters are incredible and barely even dip full of green after a full day of use. The seat even pivots so you can get on and off

super easily. One of our favorite reasons to rent a scooter through Gold Mobility is that you can take it out of the parks and onto a boat so you can go have dinner on the boardwalk or at a resort. You can take it out of the parks and onto a boat so you can go have dinner on the boardwalk or at a resort. You can take these scooters onto all disease transportation. Overall, you can't recommend Gold Mobility enough. Gold Mobility staff are super helpful and ready to help you have a more comfortable.

It is nice to be like, I can fit on a boat. Yeah, that's pretty cool. I do think, shouldn't the chair be a little bigger? It seems a little. A little narrow. Eh, you give him an inch though. No. Hahaha.

He'll be crowded after this. Yeah, that is really funny to be like smugly pulling in a Disney rail and be like, I got my electric scooter elsewhere. Yeah, exactly. I had a good scooter video. Did you really? Yeah, it was making me laugh this morning. I can't find it.

There was a lady on a dance moms show. She gets scolded by another lady. Fuck. While she's on the scooter? It's great. I like to planning your laziness for the day. You're like, it's too much to walk. I gotta plan how I'm gonna do it.

And they also do videos where they teach you whether you can fit in certain restaurants and rides. And then some of them do do the here's what I ate today at Disney. It's so much fucking So much I've seen that it's crazy Like they start off they're like I just got here and get some churros and you're like cheese I stopped by the Mexican. Yeah, then I got some ice cream. Yeah And then I had a double bacon cheeseburger and then I had the chicken wings And then they're like, holy cheeseburger, and then I had the chicken wings, and then I hear like, Holy shit! Grabs a couple of people.

You can even see how we can begin to snake up on this, and down these environments, and start to sort of slide. This guy wants you to come join him in the park. So this is a new way of like, you snake around trees? I honestly... I notice you also have the whole underside of this chunk of empty space to be used. That's how I wake up every day. I get out of every bed and couch.

Slither out. Oh, there's a lot of people here. Fucking weirdos fucking the treasure. There it is We could totally do this in Austin. Yeah for sure Yeah, I'd want to do this alone though without 20 other hippies Yeah, maybe alone would be a good way to start some guy rubbing his nuts on your face like so it goes just snaking You've waited three years to hug him. Hug Goofy.

She's a doll. She's hugging Goofy. People love Disney. Yeah. I just went there recently. It's pretty bizarre. There's a trending thing now of people seeing the new Cinderella's Castle and it's women who see it and just they cry

They break down. I saw so the Disney adults is like a new phenomenon I saw a couple of them in the cow was like bringing my two little daughters and I was like bringing them around you'd see like a 24 year old or like 30 year old lady just like oh and you're like okay okay yeah okay this is how she brushes her teeth with a stick she's the teeth this one's a licorice root she puts her homemade tooth powder in the palm and it looks like dirt and then you dip and just scrub. You don't need to spend money on stuff like toothbrushes or toothpaste.

No, you need to go to the woods. Clean this way in nature with natural tools. Relaxing self care. They look all right. They're not that bad. Get yourself a trig brush. Okay. All right.

Would you try that? It's like a Russian chiropractor. Throat. Someone tricked you into going to that. Yeah, I'll try it. The guy's just stomping on you. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

Oh my God. You're in the throat, dude. I'll try it, the guy's just stomping on you. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Look at the face. God, what? Oh my God. Look at the throat, dude. I love, my favorite lane is, I love these, the chiropractic stuff. Those are my, that's my lane. I watch these all the time.

For the screams. Lay face up, your head will be here, Yeah, the screams are just so epic. And then your feet will be in that direction. This guy's suffering. Yeah. Nice. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Feel that relief? They fucked him up. So bad. And then there's people doing it, and you're like, there's people doing it here like, there's no way this is the way you're supposed to do this, you know?

Step it. Like that. Step it. He's gonna kill someone. He's gonna stab someone. There we go. Holy shit. This is good.

It's a decompression of the brain. He's got swag too. Yeah, it's very sensual. Do you guys ever go to a chiropractor? I love it dude, I just went recently. It's the best. There's nothing better though than in the last few years the... There's been this like recent like

And they try to leave you know with the hammer It's usually Russians yeah Get that upper thoracic back in check. We're fat girls. We eat what we want, run and watch ya. We're fat girls. Of course we're gonna ask for a table instead of a booth. We're fat girls. Of course I ordered enough to have leftovers. We're fat girls. Of course I'm learning to honor my hunger cues. We're fat girls. Of course I'm learning to honor my hunger cues. Damn, she's not in frame. We're fat girls. Of course we save something later.

We're fat girls. Of course we take up space. Sorry, not sorry. We're fat girls. Of course we're unlearning generational fatphobia. We're fat girls. We're moving exactly as we are. Generational fatphobia, guys. That's a big thing. It's important. That is kind of a... Generational fat phobia, guys. That's a big thing. Yeah. It's important. That is kind of a.

Generational fat phobia. Well, they're also like you're at risk of dying. It's like being like I'm taking this stick away from smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. Yeah. If you want. Sure. Die from that, too.

We were having to live with fat chicks to feed ourselves. And the reason that you live with fat chicks is because they eat. And it's a safe bet when you're starving and as a musician, you want to become successful. You need to find a rich girlfriend, and you need to figure out how you're going to feed yourself. Now, we were selling drugs at the time,

so we weren't really worried about getting the equipment. So the rich girlfriend part wasn't part of the equation anymore. It was just a fat girlfriend part Oh, it's Megadeth. Yeah. Oh, yeah, pretty cool. Guys a man. Yeah. Oh, yeah the whole Does have a good point. Yeah, he's got a good one. Here's your last one. That's how they became dogs What's the advice you give to your younger self? Spend least time with the kids spend less less Less time with dickheads. They just waste your time.

I can't believe a father would say spend less time with your kids. No, dickheads. What's he say? Dickheads. Dickheads! Thank you Simon for your interpretation. That's pretty good. I thought he said that too. Spend less time with your kids.

Decades. Decades. Look, you guys were so much fun. Thank you for coming. Thank you. It was so fun. We'd love to do it again. Congrats on Tires.

Congrats on your special. You guys can obviously listen to Matt and Shane's secret podcast. You can watch Tires. You can get tickets at mattmcusker.com, shanemgillis.com. Go see them live. Listen to their podcasts and we'll see you next time. Thanks. ["Tires and The Secret Podcast"] So You want me to play Dancing Moon?

Are you serious? I'll play that right now. So So Some little Celtic. Yeah, but for real, if there's not people in the Goobies, I'm gonna for real fucking spaz.