Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Pranking Your Kids w/ Josh Wolf | Your Mom's House Ep.688

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

SPONSORS:- Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.- Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to http://LiquidIV.com and use code HOUSE at checkout.JEANS UP!! This week, Tom and Christina discuss Back to the Future, Chuck Berry, Rocco Siffredi, Peloton instructors, which animal each of the YMH staff is, and watch a clip of girls that really want to meet Chris Larson!Josh Wolf is a comedian, actor, and writer. He joins the Main Mommies to discuss his new prank show “Family Tussle,” the time his son challenged him to a fight, the things that come with being married, gambling, eating gross things, Joey Diaz, Josh’s first time doing stand-up, Don Rickles, and more! They watch videos of encounters with a mountain lion and a bear, a Cool Guy who is looking for a female rapper, and a batch of Christina’s TikToks. https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

From my wife and I to weekend. I know it's gonna make her laugh, but I she also Can turn me from incredibly happy to the angriest I've ever been. Oh, yeah, that's my gift half a second That's my gift half a second. She knows she knows Welcome to your mom's house What it do hi, I like your white t-shirt you look very 1950s Yeah, white t-shirts pack up put a lot of pack a lucky strikes on your arm. Yeah, like Back to the future Goes back to

55 yeah It's a cool aesthetic. It is a cool aesthetic But that would suck to not be able to blow loads and chicks because I don't think they had birth control Because back then if you got preggers you just got married they're probably so scared of that so scared Could you imagine how awful that is to be a teenager in 1955 and no abortion like it like now No abortion certain states, but how about that like that's like the biggest hit, you know that movies It holds up and credits incredible movie. Yeah, so good. And there's that one racial exchange, do you remember it when they go they

They throw Michael J. Fox into the trunk. Yes of the black bands. Yeah, our yes There and then the one of the white kid goes. What are you looking at? And then yeah, like five black guys get out of the car. Yeah, they're like who you call a peckerwood Yeah, it's like such an old date and that's like those are like prison terms. Yeah It's a fucking wild scene. I don't know what I could what is still still said in in prison It's a perfect term for whitey though. Peckerwood's good. Yeah, I mean Packer packer only offends guys in prison Nobody else cares. That's the scene right there. Yeah, and they're all smoking weed in the car. So like

Mm-hmm. And then that is Chuck Berry's cousin. Yeah, I know cuz he's like, here's a new Sandra looking for it. It's his song. Yeah. Yeah That all I could think about was Chuck Perry pissing on that girl. Me too. He's like did I fart? Yeah, he goes sometimes I do that Yeah, and then he goes I kiss you, but your breath smells like piss. Yeah, that was nice It might be the best six video of all the fact that that's not Celebrated more. Hmm. I know I feel like it kind of came and went. I mean he pisses all in her mouth And then when he's getting blown he farts and asks her if he farted

You know, I mean, it's all it's clear is that he's like he goes did I fart? She's like, yes, he's like sometimes I do that. Mm-hmm. He's playing koi with your evil koi It's what you do to me when you pee on me in the shower And then you pretend like you don't know what you're doing and then I've done that in a long time And then you would go like oh my god, do you smell that you do that to me a lot long time Well, we haven't showered together in a minute. You've been on the road showering with the Kendall from Peloton Fucking I would sign up for that class Oh

Stop it. What's up Kendall? How much do you think? I was gonna say how many how much do you think Kendall could get? Do you know what happened to her stock price if she was like and one lucky rider will take a shower with me after this cut? Oh my life. No, but she seems sweet. I think she's sweet. I know. I'm just joking. I think she's lovely I think they need to hire more horse. I think they're all too sweet. They're all too classy It would be great if they were like yeah, tramp here real trash. Yeah, come on you fucking assholes Come on you fat fucks, and then they really chastise you. Yeah, that'd be really funny actually turn that resistance up Make that big dick work. Come on

Cuz cuz cuz cuz I'm so stupid when I Is there there's a camera that's on your on the treadmill. There is mm-hmm There's a camera. Why is there a camera? That's what I asked so I googled it Yeah, and it's like so that you can see yourself working out and I was like that sounds Sus as the kids say go ahead and Google it See if I'm being retarded you guys are all looking at me like there goes crazy Cristina with these wild allegations Look at what Peloton there's a camera For you and it's like so you can see yourself working out and I'm like I don't trust that

I'm gonna cover that right up cuz what if Kendall can see me what if they see you jerking off while you're Can you jerk off and be on a treadmill sure there's a camera see it's at the top. That's it. That's so strange. I know I Don't want to watch you riding your bike Well, I don't know if it's on the bike But it's definitely on the treadmill and it's like so you can watch yourself work out ride so that you can see yourself on the screen I'm like fuck wants to see themselves in the screen bullshit So suspect. Yeah, what do you think you can jerk off the Kendall? So she can see you

Don't forget Tom we got a couple more sprints coming up But I kind of wish they could see you and then and then yell at you. Yeah Cuz they's leaning. You know you're fat Fat dad 102 pick up the pace chunky you're trying to get into a nightclub or not. I mean Not with that bod Yeah, cuz I believe in it. I believe in talking to people like that, you know, you do to me I don't talk like that to you did when I was doing my PT and you looked at me and you're like, come on I just said your squats were bullshit. Oh

My god, so I was sick Like three weeks ago like laying in bed like hacking sick And you come in and you see me laying in the dark at like 3 p.m. And you go you gonna work out I was like, um, I'm sick. So you're not gonna exercise today Who are you who the fuck do you think you are? No days off never quit hitting it every day. He said well, I don't feel well I was like, all right. Well, maybe get up and do something you might feel better. I mean Stop it any don't you dare

Don't encourage this No, but you're sick. You need to rest I was I was I was channeling my Sean nicks, you know, I thought I thought I thought I thought the world with this guy You know what it's like to have that guy around 24-7 If I was like, I don't feel well. He'd be like, what the fuck are we doing today? Jesus Well, let me tell you my Stacia Oh

You're jacked Look great Tom. You look great. Yeah, let's clap for Tom. Thank you very much. It is seriously a triumph Thank you. Thank you what you've done with this bot of yours. It is Amazing. You look so great. Thank you still going still going. This is my difference this time. Okay in 20 End of 2017 going to 2018 I'd lost a bunch of weight Everybody's like, man, you look good. You know what I did. I was like, great. I'm here now

I just fucking stopped. Yeah, and I regressed And I put weight back on yeah, because I accepted the fact that I was like this is good And I think you have to just constantly set new goals. That's what I've learned about fitness You have to constantly set new goals and Tom. I would argue about life One cannot be complacent. Yeah, you can't ever say, oh, I've reached the mountain top. I'm great I agree you have anything constantly be flogging yourself telling yourself what a piece of shit You are in every area and I know the therapist tells me that's not good. Yeah, but it fucking works It does it keeps me honest

You can't feel like you've like I've never felt like I've honestly arrived in stand-up, you know I've never been like I'm I'm there like you always are like, oh, this isn't good enough and and because of that Mindset, I've actually always progressed. I think you know as a stand-up because I've never been like I've arrived I'm here. You know, you just always are like I gotta go to the next thing. I gotta figure out the next thing Yes, but with fitness. I have been like, oh, I'm good. Yeah, and then that's when everything Falls apart. It's like Christian Bale said an American psycho. You can always be thinner richer better looking Yeah, and it's true. You can always be richer

Thinner better looking and in better shape. It's like always Chris Christina Rose the porn star said to me That's my hero. That's the guy. That's who you listen to you know, she said to me. Okay. What did she say to you? I got to do this interview with her one time and I said How how big is too big? Oh my god, when did you do this? If we know the years ago of a dick, no KR well here's what he gets There here's your mom Hello

That chick Hanukkah's coming up. Oh, no, yeah, you talked to that girl. So I asked her on camera I said how how big is too big and she goes dicks are like money and Sunglasses you can never have too much and they can never be too big It's called truth knowledge Christina Rose, I still remember She's right Bitches right. Yeah, I give it up to Christina. I was like never she was like you got to put that on the wall Bro, can you can we put that in like the YMH mural? You can get on the mural be on the mural. That's say it again

Dicks. Yeah are like money and sunglasses or maybe with sunglasses and money They can never be too big. You can never have too much. I love it This woman's a fucking genius. Oh, I've seen her work. She is a genius Oh What's her speciality What's her jam? She's a savage. She's in that savage category like she goes Yeah, like that is our baseball internet Time, you know every hole. Yeah, just all systems. Can I tell you something sometimes? I think yeah

And this is a really warped thought that I have with you. Yeah Because you love these ladies of the porn so much. I don't love them so much. Maybe if I did a porn Maybe you would love me more. Is that accurate? Right? What a sad fucking thought You would love maybe you would love me as much as I don't love them Christina Rose if I put a baseball bat in my Mother's 12 years ago. Maybe if I fucked like 12 guys at once you'd finally That's really your thought There's some kernel of truth to it I go, yeah, cuz I'll be like my husband like I don't really like that though, but that's just as the

Peloton this is the flaw in your yeah, I know that's why I'm sharing it I think it's amusing because it's funny to be so messed up mentally. Don't you know that mental illness is fun? That's what the whole show is right? You don't have fucked up thoughts. I do have fucked up thoughts, but that one's super twisted I know that's why it's fun. Then you went you went from porn girl to Kendall the Peloton instructor, right? What does she have to do? Well, she's more accessible. So the porno girl is like a pipe dream, right? But what if Kendall is I think it's a lot easier to get to the porn girl than

Like I could just be like I have three grand That's the fortune yeah gosh, I wouldn't mind if you did a scene with like Rocco, I would accept that, you know I think you deserve it, you know Why why Rocco because you know you're not gonna experience anything like that anywhere else. That's what's in a lifetime That's what I'm saying, but there'd be a rule. It would hurt real bad And that's the rule It's got you you got to give up anal. No, I can't But I don't like it. I don't sign off on it, but I don't want it

I don't like anal. That's the rule first of all Rocco's not doing it except no for an answer either Then I don't Hey, you really had me considering it. I literally went I first second there. I was like, okay, maybe like I thought about it But google Rocco's to freddy. I want to see his penis one more time. Let me just look at it Let me just look at it. Let's see what I'm working at working with Yeah It's definitely there's multiple images Yeah, that's

That's not Rocco is it? Yeah, that's not him. That is him There you know what I hate how about the one where it's going right there. Yeah, that's not going in my ass I hate when they wear tennis shoes and socks And they're naked. It looks tear. I don't think so. I can't do this. Why not? I back out. Why? It's gonna be a memorable evening Because I've already had two children down there. It's already Look right there. No, it's that's him. It's too much. You got to start like that with the nice kiss It's so much dick. It's so much dick. It's way too much penis than anybody needs. Yeah, it's so much dick. What do you say?

I thought you could never have too much. I don't know That's Christina rose. I didn't Christina p I'm I'm more of a conservative Man, I mean that is so much dick and like Honestly, I have birthed two children. Yeah, I'm not into stretching it out down there. It's already done I do that to him too. You gotta do that No, the ball's in the face. He's so easy That's horrible. That's my nightmare right there, babe. That is my nightmare. That is my fucking nightmare

I'm just to describe to the listeners. This is my nightmare I'm laying on my back on the side of the bed. He would make you feel different Can I describe it to the listener, please? Sure. My head is dangling off the mattress You're sitting on my it's not me. It's rocko safari No, I can't even picture but I'm saying my nightmare is you doing this You're sitting on me with your asshole on my mouth, but you're facing me. Does that make sense? Yes, so the balls are over your nose and stuff. Yeah That is a nightmare. I like the description of the one is that rock is ready dick too big

Because you know that that scene has her going um And now that's known as a rhetorical question. Yeah. Yeah Look at him shaking hands here. Hi When you shake that hand Jesus at the court of the rocko safari big What you can buy his dick there too Maybe you start there. Why don't you get one for me for christmas? Yeah start practicing. You really wouldn't um Give anal a shot with him. No, but he would he's gentle he would he would

No, no, eventually he's not he's not gentle. No, but he starts. He's always like very warm No, it's a start. He is he's all he's like, oh, he's gonna like hold your face kiss hug He's like he's so beautiful. He's like very like seductive and sweet to start And then he like eases you into like I can't I don't buy this. I swear to you Tom Tom He eases them into it and then when they're like that's he's like, it's okay. It's okay It's not it's not hurt and then you're like And then he's like no

He guys just Kind of ramps when he gas lights you and then you're like he works up to the wild stuff. He's such a liar He's just he's just one of those guys. I think you should be able to do it All right, let's do the opening clip you've ever been talked into it. Okay, what do you think about ripple? Well, I mean, I think it's too centralized, but I definitely want to meet chris larson Hahaha Welcome Welcome to your mom's house

Yeah What are you doing? I Definitely want to meet chris larson and then she goes Well, chris has got fans out there. This is crazy. There's a little smarty pants now. Yeah I can't believe it. Chicks are now into chris larson. Very cool. This is amazing. Very cool Yeah, those two girls look really nice and friendly and they look sweet like they'd be willing to do stuff with chris larson I bet they would take a scene with rocko. Definitely. Definitely. Oh my god. I caught a stat bag

Oh, I just gotta make sure no because of like Skeetal and okay Now this is a stupid thought but hear me out. Yeah, let me hear it What comes first? The porno girl look Or the porno girl so meaning like I know those are adult actresses. Did they look like this before they did? Wait these girls. Yeah, these aren't porno girls

Are you sure? They're porn. No, they're not. No. No. Well, what are they? They're crypto girls With that laugh. You thought these were porn girls? Of course. You guys are messing with me. They're not porn girls Those are definitely porno girls. It's an ad for blockchain smartphone Yeah, they're just models. They're not porno girls. No, these are porno chicks. Guys, I put on ymh long enough to know a hoe when I see a hoe. Oh my god Are you sure? Yes Let me see them talking again. Okay. Don't lie to me. What do you think about ripple?

Well, I mean, I think it's too centralized, but I definitely want to meet chris larson I Yeah, huh. Yeah, chris makes him nervous. I guess Everybody didn't realize it. He's like, have you ever met the second smartest guy at the office? He did lose his title to chat. He did. He did. We were doing what animals we all look like. Yeah So here's the animal we came up with for chris. Yeah bobcat bobcat

Yeah, what do you think mid-off? Yeah, I don't think you were here for that discussion chris larson's a bobcat. I think so google bobcat. He looks exactly like a bobcat. You think so? Well, you also said it differently. We didn't say what they look like. It was what they feel like like what their vibe is I'd agree with that. I think you know, right his vibe is like dodgy and like sketchy and like Yeah, I don't fucking know you. I don't trust you. It looks like like a house cat, but he's got claws. Yeah. Yeah What were the other animals? um Okay, so any are you ready for any's animal

ferret A ferret. Yeah, you're a ferret, right? He's totally a ferret. He's got ferret vibes like crazy. I got ferret energy I'm always That's me. Let me see it. I like that. That's a good one for you. Yeah I'm always fucking around man. Look at this thing that thing can't not fuck around if it tried It can't there's you got from the dive Well, and a dog wasn't here Do you remember what in a dog? We said beaver?

Yeah Like oh, I need to get all this wood. Yeah, not how we said it, but sure. Yeah Yeah Yeah, like give zola one like industrious and building. Yeah very very resourceful. Um, yeah jarzolo is a retriever a golden retriever That's good. He's such a golden retriever. It's got good energy. Yeah, like always good to be around good vibes. Good vibes. Yeah, like Just sweet. Hi zola. Hey, baby zola. Yeah, I might get a golden retriever and name it zola. I fucking think you should Yeah And then did we have a one for a chad for smart chad? Yeah, he didn't like it though. He didn't like it. He didn't like it

What was it? They said it was a sloth Sloth's got a bad name, but they're they're cool as fuck. That's the thing Sloth's fucking dope. I just knew he wouldn't like it It's fine. I'll take it See, you know, he said that then he goes, it's fine. I'll take it just like a sloth. Yeah, it's fine. Oh, look at that face Yeah, that's totally him. It does look like me a little bit a little bit It does look like me. Yeah, and what were you? Well, I'm a what am I?

You were a peacock a peacock. Yeah, I see that I'm definitely a bird. I feel very birdlike. Yeah, there I am with my plumage But I'm a male peacock. So I'm a trans Peacock. All right, what am I because the men are fancy. Well, it's kind of obvious And here's the deal is that we didn't want to be trite with yours and like But the truth is I've seen you scratch your back in the house like a bear Like you literally rake your back up and down. Yeah, you're vicious killer You're mean you look cuddly and cute, but you're not your teeth are large

Your eyes are black and terrifying What you eat salmon a lot. Yeah, that's you You're terrifying. You're terrifying. You scare a lot of people away. The villagers don't like it. Just the store Oh my god, ask it for my info But what animal do you feel like there's the animal you feel like and the animal other people think you look like Yeah, that's true. There's two different stories because I feel like a dog I feel like a Brussels graffin, but they're telling me I'm a peacock. So these are two different things. Yeah, what do you feel like? It's true

What do I feel like you're cozy you're sloth like too Like you've got like chill fucking I'd rather be asleep now energy. Yeah Maybe a some kind of a burrowing animal like a mole I like when I see like gorillas chilling at the zoo. You are they chill they chill hard Yeah, I feel like they're kind of grumpy Yeah, and they only get upset every once in a while But when they do yeah, you better fucking watch out how strong is the silverback? I do want to know that You are a gorilla. I like them

Let's see. They got to be so fucking strong, right? Oh, yeah, dog. Let's see the average weight 600 pounds Yeah, uh, we can tear the fucking 600 pounds dude four to nine times more powerful than the average person So they can fucking oh my god According to the guy's book of records silver I can lift 1800 pounds of dead weight A dead weight They're shy and reserved for humans So much that they will attack only if they're surprised or threatened

The human made any unexpected movement silverback would charge. That's you terrifying. That's you You attack with the size strength nail the result is uh, still the same Bear victory both way however, it will not be to hit fight the bear. Oh this comparing a bear hitting a gorilla Okay Uh, the common misconception is that even the biggest the strongest people call the mountain who is truly impressive compare what So no matter how much what the fuck is this getting into Here comes the gorilla. Okay, according to the Guinness book world records

experience experiments on the strength of large silverback gorillas research We've already read this stat. This is terribly written And they have a bone density of Five are designed to use the greatest energy in a way. I know it's just like this is a stupid article. Here you go. Nadav. Here's what you get Nadav finds a better article. This one sucks I like it. She's like, I want to meet chris larson. I want to fuck larson Oh back to my point Is it that the the the girl who looks like a porno girl becomes a porno girl? She looks like it later

Right, like you you can look like a regular girl and then you transition to be looking like okay, exactly like there's a You're in that biz a while then you start to transition your look To fit what you think the look at should be sure. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah Oh my god. I'm shitting a scene today I Haven't worked with him before right suck. Yeah, isn't it funny? They call it work in the scene. They call us civilians Oh, yeah, for sure. But we are definitely not in their world. Yeah, I know we are civilians compared to sex workers geez louise

That's a whole other lane Yeah, so gorilla, I could see you feeling like a gorilla. Yeah Or I also feel like I'm in iguana I just love them so much You do like the sun And I like to chill on warm things and I can be still for a long time. You're like too warm. Yeah, it's too warm I like to be on a rock. I'm there's in the car that you were in and it was 89 You know what I'm saying the temperature in the car was 89 degrees. It was like a goddamn sauna in there feels so good

Way too warm. It's cold outside. Yeah, but that's a little I mean, I was like, uh, well, you know It's winter time. It's cold as shit now. You know what that means What? Cuddle season Please It's cold as fuck, please You can't claim to be too hot right now. You cannot say that I slept with the The the sheets off of me last night. It was 68 degrees and the room was freezing. No, it wasn't. Well, was it? 72

I saw it But why did you lie and say 68 because it was the night before The night before I remember looking and it was 68 and that can I say something because I love you so much I let it rest at 68. I did not turn it up. I was fucking dying last night. Okay. Can I make a deal with you? What if I turn the thermostat to 68 may I have a cuddle? Yeah for how long How long do you want it to be? Can I have the uh

seven minutes deal You swear? Yes. Okay I'm gonna hold you to it. I said the timer Wow, this is really exciting for me Let's take a quick break Hi ladies Ask me all tips on how to live life with herpes

It's not that bad. How you doing, sir? This is great. Ask if you want to ask any tips on how to live life with herpes. Has it been a problem? Well, that's good I'm glad to hear you know syphilis is way worse You guys want to ask me tips on how to live life with herpes at all? No, all right, cool. It's not that bad. You're missing out. You're missing out on a great community I don't have herpes, but why would I want to ask you about living with herpes? I don't know in case in case it does happen any more in the future. I do I have to tell them before it's a common courtesy to make sure

If he has herpes and you didn't know, would you still kiss him or would you ask for herpes? It's a good question I mean, I would kiss him and I but I have herpes, but he doesn't know that and I don't know that he had herpes until This time you know what you know now. What would you have done differently? I gotta say probably protected sex or probably my best bet anything else boss. All right, my friend Thank you so much. Have a great day now. All right. That was so good Do I keep going? That was and that was his punishment

Oh, that's cool. So we compete and then the loser has to do something that the winner choose So what is your plan now? You can do it through your channel. I'm just gonna keep doing it Is it is are the episodes up this so the first five are up a relation one a week And like for you my punishments and his punishments are different because that doesn't that's not a punishment to me to me It's embarrassing, but I'd be able to fuck with somebody. Yeah So like he hates that that public embarrassment thing for him is huge for me He did things like like I had to get a brazilian wax. I know I had never got one of those To get my asshole waxed. I liked it. It was you know what I said to the esthetician. I said, um

Because when he waxed my butthole, I was like Yeah, they didn't really hurt Really? Yeah, and I asked him I go do I have a doesn't really I said do I have a tough butthole? Yeah, and he was like, what do you mean? I'm like, well, I don't want to brag it hurts less than you think the mound hurt Like the front mound. Yeah, that and my he also made me get a tattoo that hurt He made you get a tattoo. I have a tattoo. You know, his name is jacob So I have a tattoo on my back that says jacob is my biological dad right here I found that I did my back waxed and my ass waxed and the back hurts way more

Yeah, then your back get yeah asshole doesn't didn't really hurt the mound hurt and I asked the esthetician I go And the I loved life after it me too I mean after game changer. The wipe was so Different I gotta go back. Are you would you go? Why did you do it the first time as a joke? There was a joke thing and I thought I was gonna be like so painful. Wasn't that painful? Then I was like, oh wiping's a dream and I didn't do it forever I did it again

And again, I was like, yeah, it doesn't hurt that bad and it's great to not have hair back there Yeah, and then it just came back and I'm done it again I will say like I thought the butthole wax was definitely useful in the front. I didn't need I don't mean everything Wax in the front the mound the top of the mound. That's the one that hurt the most above your junk That's gotta hurt. That's the one that hurt the most and What I heard was they were supposed to trim it first. Yeah. Oh, they didn't do that. Where did you go? I went to a place in the valley Yeah

Well, we were going for wait, were they russians or asians or persians hispanic really? Did they even blink an eye about it? Wildcard Well, when he so he said he's my son. He said will you wax my dad's dick? Here's where here was the best part. So when when we found out that the punishment was the waxing I called my brother and I go, hey, you know, we're shooting the show today Will you set photographer for me because he does TX pictures? He's like, yeah Well, he goes, what are you doing? What am I doing? I said, I don't know yet. Just come down So part of the joke for me was, you know, those esthetician ribs are so small

Super small So one side had the dude doing the waxing one side was the three camera Three dudes two cameras and audio Jesus and in the back where my asshole was up Was my son and my brother with a camera So I'm like, he's like, what do you want me to do? I'm like, you got to get in there and take the Three days later, he sent me this picture and I said, what is that? He said, that's a close-up of your asshole in case you've never seen it before Did you bring the picture? Let's take I had never seen a close-up of my butthole with no hair before Yeah, how did it look? It looked honestly, not that bad. Not that bad. Yeah. I actually was like, oh

It's a little more appetizing way without the hair without having to feel like you're You know, I'm so nervous to put wax on my cooch. I've never actually done it I've only ever shaved and because I one time I waxed my legs as a teenager and it hurts so bad That I'm like, I don't and I'm pretty blondy like I don't have a ton of hair down there But my asshole smooth all again. I'm pretty hairless, right? We got so you say my asshole is pretty There's not a lot of hair there. Anyway, your asshole. Yeah, not a lot of hair there, right? Yeah, I mean, I like how you started to rub him when you asked just to make sure he gave the right answer Well, how much hair is almost

I mean, I think you got a few stragglers Just a little bit of butt top, but not have you ever been with somebody who had like one or two Long straggler nipple hairs. I was with a woman once with one long left Nipple hair one long like one. Did you guys talk about it? Yeah, because when I was kissing a nipple, I did I did a couple of because I thought it was mine Yeah, and so I just gave it a little and she went out and I was like, oh, that one's yours Why wouldn't she pull it out? I said, why didn't you pull that out? And she know what she said? It gives me character. I'm like not the right character. No, you don't want to be one long nipple hair character

It was a one time. This was a one time hookup. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Because if that's how you live your life, yeah That's that girl from material. No way Nipple hair you get the fuck out of one long one too. One like like honestly You should have just gone like and bit it off What if that was the source of like if what if I pulled her hair and she died that would have been Like you pulled a plug on her She deserved it

Um, we got so into this right away. We didn't even intro you Josh Mulf is here. Um, thanks for coming by We're talking about the fact that you Developed and shot and did something that were huge advocates of which is doing your own thing You shot a show with your son and you're releasing it yourself Yes putting it out yourself on your youtube channel my youtube channel and we like I said we self funded it You know, I found out a long time ago. So I don't know in like 2018 I thought I was gonna have to stop doing stand-up. Oh why well So

Look after Chelsea ended. Yeah, I made a like I was like I have to shed this crowd. This isn't my crowd We don't have not like I didn't like them. But like This is crowd isn't gonna follow me forever Because I'm not going to be talking about the things they want to be me to be talking about So the quicker I shed that and try to build up my own crowd The better idea of where I'll get where I'm like where my standing is right And ticket sales started to drop and I was still getting booked but just not making

And I told my I told Beth. I'm like, hey, so I may have to I'm better than I've ever been. This was the frustrating part I've never felt more comfortable. I'm just not selling tickets And I'm not going on the road for this anymore Like I I'm just not making the money for our family and I've made money as a writer and in writer's room So I was like, maybe I'll just have to go back to writing I said, but I want This hour that I am doing right now

Which was basically a special of mine called father the father of the year Which was one long story about my son challenging me to a fight Right, it it came in and out of the story But it was just a story about him bumping me and bumping into me in the kitchen and telling me he could beat the shit out of me And which is something did you do that with your dad? No Did you ever get you never got froggy with your dad? Not really no No, well my all my kids got a little jumpy with me really

All of them got a little jumpy and so He uh, and so but I was like I love this feels was super relatable to me And I'm just gonna film it myself and put it out there and nobody this was Before people were doing that one time I went to hit my sister and he got in between us and I stopped it Did you have any of your friends ever challenged your dad to a fight? Yeah. Yes, right? Yeah, and they all got their asses kicked

Do you know why because dad's realized like the kid wants to win but the dad has to win Yeah, because if you lose and your son knows he can beat the shit out of you. Yeah, you're done. It's it's tough shit You know, you try telling him to take out the trash. Yeah, he's gonna be like look, bitch Yeah, don't make me fuck you up again. Dad's assert dominance in several ways For instance, ls the other day learned that when dad's watching football That means the Football is on for five or six hours and you don't watch cartoons dad's watching football And he had to learn that painful lesson of like we don't change the channel

I thought this was on until I'm done. Yeah, dad's just watch football for hours and hours Dad's take stinky shits that permeate the whole house Dad's dominate like when dad is eating dad doesn't get fucked with or talked to like stuff like that These are very specific male rules. Yeah, good rules to learn But can I ask do you are the only time my kids ever really wanted to talk to me was when I was taking a shit Like nobody wanted to talk to me until I was taking a shit the door the door knock knock Open the jiggling and I'm like I'm in here and he's like open. I go. I mean go away They always want to park and talk to you. Yeah, my my kids used to bring in

They used to always bring in a book I'm like, you want me to read I can't tell you how many times I read brown bear on the toilet like brown bear brown bear Do you see you know what I mean? And they're like like this is how you want me to read this book to you. They were they I don't miss how old are your kids? six and four you I have Two grandkids that's so wild to me. You've been telling me your granddad for a while Yeah, I have four grandkids but two of them are older than your

Children, I feel like our kids never get older. Yeah, everybody is like I have a tea. I'm like, what is my kid? You don't don't they just they just want to snuggle the four-year-old wants to snuggle when you're taking a shit all the time There is a such a difference between Taking care of little kids with teenagers. You okay? Yeah. Yeah. We're taking some discreetly and she's like So obvious How much does your wife hate you as much as my husband hates me for these little things? Yes, but it's mutual Yeah, yeah, there are certain things. There are certain things that you can't like That have happened in your marriage that from the outside. You're like, why does that bother somebody else so much?

But you've either answered it or done it so many times like you can't do it again. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like And I was in the airport in Florida and there was an old woman following an old dude And he was shuffling around. It's fun when you see the old couple and the guy goes I I can't find my wallet and from behind him. She goes. I got it. Keep moving and I was like she said that Yeah He loses his wallet every day a million times. She said that like she wants to she loves him

But she also if he died when he said that she'd be like, so it was time. Yeah It was definitely time. That was the fucking thing now. I'm the seeker of the house. Tom always loses stuff and I find your this is true I'm horrible at finding things. I can't find anything But do you do what my son does? Yeah, he'll he'll be like he'll walk now. There's he'll look in a place Where he thought it was and if it's not there, he'll go I can't find it Yeah No, I think I actually look the older I've gotten the more I look and I still feel like I'm not that good at it Like I'll flip things up that move and I'm like I've looked all over this fucking place and she's like hold on

And then she just goes on her little fucking find it interesting gypsy mission. She fucking finds it You're not good at looking at looking for things Well, josh, can I tell you what he does? I'm not proud of it when he looks he was looking through his drawer of bullshit the other day Like just you know, everyone's got their bullshit drawer. Literally. This is how he looks through bullshit Like he just mushes the objects Around and I'm like, that's not looking you're mushing. I also like how you did it like a gorilla. That's what he does He does he does back of the hand You mean like dude you back at that's how gorillas touch things, you know

That's what gorillas did. Did he watch? Did he were you able to see the monitor? Okay, we just went through this thing where we we played what animal in my and tom goes I want to be a gorilla. I'm a gorilla. I feel like literally because of this picture though That's the picture That's what I feel like He's like nah That dude's gonna forehead like me. Look at his forehead. Holy shit. Josh. What animal are you? I feel like you're a fast animal. You're fast. I would be squirrel

That's a little too messy for me. You're kind of swinging monkey-like He needs to have a little chill to him because I smoke a lot of weed. I know you are you're a koala Yeah, that's it I would have said slaw Oh, that's Chad the koala pull up a koala. Yeah, he's yeah, and you look like a koala a little bit Koalas get high. What what do they get high off of the eucalyptus eucalyptus But I also think they're well known to have a lot of chlamydia. Yes When I when I was in australia, they in the wild they do it's so weird that people in australia warn you don't get chlamydia

I'm like you think I'm gonna fuck koala. Yeah, they they but you learn that They tell you that it's a different strain than the human strain. So it's not transferable I don't they the big joke there is like Because that's what I was told. They're like they keep you know, you don't want to fuck them and I'm like, I wouldn't yeah Yeah, thanks for the warning and then someone's like actually you can fuck them Don't don't listen to them They just slipped your note. Hey, hey, hey You're you're good to fuck the koala. You're fine

Wait, did they get it from fucking each other? Yes, like sexually transmitted. Okay, but it's a koala chlamydia. It's koala It's not a human at chlamydia. I but like who is the one who finds out that you can't get it Oh, do you know what I mean? Yeah, someone's fucking a koala. Somebody came back from the wild and was like hey everybody was like Somebody's fucking them. Yeah, I mean, they're cute. I guess if I was gonna have sex with an animal I'm not sure that's the one. No, that's not the one. That's not seductive. No You need an animal. It's seductive. Oh the female skunk Pepe Lapus girlfriend. Oh with the tail up. Yeah Strutting that ass Oh, what about well Jessica rabbit wasn't actually a rabbit, but you know who's looking for a bug's bunny's girlfriend

That's hot. Oh, yeah, she was hot. You know who's looking for a girlfriend right now. I didn't show you this yet, but Yo, what's up? I'm looking for a female Rapper that lives here in Pueblo. What was the name of that wants to Record some music with me So yeah and get at me Because I'm home all day And everything And plus

We could do some video shoots too. Oh video shoots For music for music as well at the end long pause so well That's all I gotta say so peace out. Okay. That's all I gotta say. First of all, he didn't have to say he was home all day I think that was implied by Very cool, but I want I have so many questions. This is a dude that you've seen a video from before first time First time first time call. I'm pretty curious now. Long time first time. Yeah Because is this I I'm not sure if mock turtleneck is his best move. Yeah, I don't know

He looks like he's been hitting them shrugs That's his rap name shruggy g yeah, no man. That's uh weird, but I don't know if I go if you don't have a thumbprint You mock turtleneck is not your I'm looking for a female rapper. I'm home all day all day. Also, we can shoot videos and he's like two three four for music I know I wanted to make it clear. I I wonder I'm so curious if he got any takers. No Oh No, no

You don't think there's somebody for you don't think somebody out there. I was like maybe I'm trying to rap too Someone's got to be some girl who's desperate for show right now. Here's the thing though It's it just shows you how important marketing is if he was like even in a music store Yeah, like there's just keyboards behind him. So true and he shot this same video He was like, yeah, I'm looking for a female rapper in this area That'll allow someone to be like this dude. Is he a producer? He's just out with trees and shit. Yeah, he's just like I'm here all day. You know, it looks like his mom said don't make those videos in the house anymore Stop that. Yeah, so he went out in the front yard

And I'm sure if a female rapper or anyone came over they'd be like, so where's your setup? And he was like, well, let's just let's just spit game right now Like he would it would there be nothing to record with and there's no sidewalk that always bothers me. Yeah, this is not He did this all wrong, which is why he's on the show. Yeah I would also say that like You know, you have to if you're gonna be a rapper and rap is all about you know Your words and how smoothly you get things out of your mouth. This was a very choppy. Very choppy I think though he's looking for a female rapper. Maybe he's like I am a producer

You know, maybe he's like that's my strength producers are weird. I know a few of them. They're weird as fuck I think he needs a chain. I'm not gonna lie to you. I think that that'd be a long-ass rope to Take it off his bicycle I Was thinking from a fashion perspective, how would you Mask that neck issue. I mean that shirt is like a specialty shirt. That's not a regular t-shirt. No, that's a leg hole That's a those are legs Like open collar button down open collar long narrow chain to a long gate

Yeah, yeah, that's a that's and white is tough for that's what I'm saying like anything But it takes like a tom cruisy crazy kind of A cult leader to pull off a mock turtle neck tom brady terrible, you know, you got to be a super villain Terrible or like didn't bill gates wear them or like one of those nerds. Yeah One of the nerdy guys billionaires were them. I think it was Steve jobs was into the jobs wore it every day By the way, a couple these guys they were like if you just have a uniform It's like it's one less thing you have to think about every day

Did they all like some of them like he did that zuckerberg did that where it was like gray t-shirt blue jeans every day You know Did you when you first started doing stand-up? I did I had in my brain like the first three or four years three years probably this is what I'm I wear on stage Yes, what I'm so curious. What was your I decided vest I went vest leather jacket and you know the hat that rocky wore in the first rocky That's a good look though ponytail Okay, do you have a headshot somewhere we can find? Yeah, um

I can probably set it down. Look up look up his old head Yeah, that the fedora is that what that's called. Yeah kind of yeah. It was kind of like fedora. That's right. It's a good hat Yeah, but it looks so much better on him. I have a long thin face with a giant forehead So those hats really rest on top of my head. Do you know what I mean? Like it's not a great and anything besides probably a musician, right? You probably look very musician I looked like somebody who was sick. Yeah, let me see it. Could you can you find josh wolf headshots? Just google? Josh it was not a good, but it was kind of around dice

Yeah, time there it is. Oh, oh, yeah So good, holy shit, man. You look cool though. Yeah, you look great. You're so east coasty looking This is the one the Blake Shelton That's the unfortunate that's you but the the one on the left and so I By the way, that's that shirt I got with my structure card. It was the first First credit card I ever got your shirt right 100% a structure shirt It was a $250 limit and I went in and I'm like get that was like this is my comedy shirt Did you have a structure card? I don't know about a car, but I definitely shopped there

I thought that was like a cool store, man. I was yeah, it's structure was one step up from chest king. Yeah chest kids Do you remember it's my brother used to work at chest king and he was like he came home one day with that Remember the tie that had the bar underneath it. Yeah. Yes. That's a huge deal. Yeah You look good in a hat. I will say I think the rocky hat is not a bad look for you I really pull it off. I think you're good with hats this year. I think super cute. I want to go no hat That's a great headshot. I always liked that one the puma I was trying to get the blues trying to get free shit. No, that's such a good

Thank you. Look for you. What was your guys when you guys were? Oh, stop. What did you start? Everything's embarrassing. I started with I wanted I thought it would be I don't have like headshots of it But I remember what I would do stand up I remember once I'm leaving to go do a spot and I was just like just starting out and I I was wearing let's say, you know Uh, a black a nice black t-shirt and I had a shirt on the chair that had holes in it I was like, I got to put that on. Yeah, I switched. I put the shirt with holes in it on because I thought it was

Better for like the stage to be like this guy's messy. He's one of us. Yeah Like I thought the more sloppy and messy the more that The jokes that were like crude or whatever like fit the look So I was like and then one of my friends was like, you know, you really look like shit up there And I was like, yeah, thanks. He was like, it's not good He's like, you know, we want to look at somebody presentable. You're the person on stage like You should try like, you don't have to dress in a suit But like you should try to dress like nice to look at right and I was like, oh, maybe so I then I mean

I started to dress a little bit. I was like shit, too I went through a phase where I was like the fatter and uglier. I looked the better It's going to be for me Yeah And in some regards it was because I was at the age where I was like late 20s early 30s Like still cute. It's cute pretty like in that zone of like hot chick lane. You know what I mean? Yeah, kind of worked and then and then now I'm like, you know, I'm just I'm a handsome woman I lean into just being like a handsome lady

You know, I call my wife. I always tell her I go you're a handsome woman. She's like, don't Say that. Oh, she fucking hates it. I'm like, you get a great job. She was like, I don't like this is these are not compliments for me You're a handsome woman. I am an handsome woman But I mean, I don't know about you but for me part of marriage is just Poking you and saying things that I know are gonna bother you. Of course. Yeah people like, why do you do that? I'm like, what? It's fine. Why else would I have like this is part of the deal It's like having kids one of the reasons I had kids is so like I can I could fuck with them play Yeah to play and it like if you asked my kids one of their favorite things was that I fucked with them

Yeah, what did I say the other day when we were pulling into the gate? And I made a joke and it made you laugh because I was like, you know, put your dick in it and shit all over something Remember I was telling you a joke you remember when we were talking about and I was like, I knew that would get you Because I I know specifically how to make Tommy laugh Because we've been together for so many years Then I could be like, yeah, why don't you tell it to go fuck itself or go Why don't you go put your dick in its face and then you'll lol or why don't you go piss on my shit or something? Like I know how to get him

What what the fuck we're talking about when we came into the gate remember And I oh man, I got you so you were laughing so hard You don't you do know how to pull it out at any moment. You can you can Say it and just make me laugh. That's true. Isn't it interesting though like For my wife and I too we can I know it's gonna make her laugh But I she also can turn me from incredibly happy to the angriest I've ever been Oh, yeah, that's my gift. Half a second. That's my gift half a second. She knows she knows she can put You to she pushes the exact button. It was the best day of my life. And now I just want to murder. I want to murder

Yeah, yeah, but that's that's marriage. Isn't it? It's when you're when you've been with someone for that long Yeah, to me if you've been with someone that long as you don't going on 20 years And you don't know the button then you don't know that person that well, you know that person. What's my button? That coughing on me you got a lot of buttons Oh, I know Call me crazy or like when a woman is mad beth hates that. Oh, look at all the guys in the booth They got that resonated. What what a woman's upset and you're like calm down

Yeah But can I tell you sometimes I know I know it. I'm like, I'm like this is gonna be fun to watch and I'll go just relax Oh But and I know I know I'm just pulling the pin on the grenade and just kind of lobbing Yeah, and and I'm like I'm gonna endure this shit storm just because it's it's kind of it's gonna be fun for just This is entertaining for a minute. Yeah, it's gonna be entertaining for a minute. So awful It but it's so but here's calm down. Can I ask do you ever? Oh, yes, you do. You told me to calm down before when we fought. Yes in cars a million times

A million times a million times. Do you ever get the fuck? Do you ever Do it and know you're guessing so beth has started to catch up. She's like i'm not falling him. I'm not falling No, really She knows when you're trying just to fuck whether one of my favorite things to do to her and to my kids Is I repeat questions like I didn't hear it. Oh, so I'll just repeat it like three or four times And they it fuck. Oh my god. It's such a small little thing And I see that little smile that you just got that's all I need for the day. That's all I need

That's I don't need a huge prank. I just need something that entertains me for just a couple of minutes I've been asking ellis our oldest his what his name is For you like every day I want to go. Hey, what's your name again? He's like ellis But it doesn't that give you Yeah, yeah, I don't I don't need the big one like the big ones are fine. It's just the daily It's that little water torture of like, oh that little drip's gonna it's gonna make you snap about a month from now Yeah, do you know like I know that that tiny little one a month from now you're gonna be like What the fuck?

And that long game is like one of my favorites or so fun to go up to like a kid I go up to my four-year-old and I just like pinch his neck. He's like He can't handle it. I fucking I get so much joy out of that. He's like It's the most fun He like collapses. He's like, do you ever play hide and seek and make them go hide but never got to try to go find Oh, yeah, always a good game too. I go. I looked fucking everywhere Yeah, yeah, okay. Go hide again. Go hide again. I'll try to find you again. It's a good way to get this kids, you know that Yeah, that's fine

To hide and never be found. I think that's like one of their primal fears Yeah, I work it out. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. They're fine. Forget I said that. They're good That's why by the way these little this thing that I'm doing with jaco The the way it's played out And the relationship, you know that relationship of messing with each other. Yeah, that's fun. That's how this is played out and it is What I try to explain to people Because I've grown kids. Yeah

You know, they don't talk about When you cut the crust off their peanut butter sandwich They don't talk about the perfect tuck in. They're like, you remember that time That's what when your kids get older and you fucked with them Yes, or they fucked with you or something went wrong, you know, for those of you who are trying to make your kids Childhoods perfect. That's not what they remember. That's not what they talk about when they come around They talk about the fun things the off schedule They talk about when you fucked with them or you they fucked with you or the weird thing that happened on vacation

Do you know what I mean? That's what they get around and talk about and so I I guessed right It could have been wrong. But but like if you're trying too hard to make sure your kid's childhood is perfect or nothing That's doesn't matter. No, you can't be perfect anyway You know what also Like your idea of perfect parenting. I think what I wish I had known this when I was When they were younger because I you second guess yourself But every choice you make right so say you want your kids Some people's kids are what I would consider over scheduled. Yeah

However, there are positives and negatives for every decision you make for your kid the over scheduled kids Yes, they're really good at you sit down here be for an hour sit down here for an hour This is when this is this is when this is and they're good at that But you throw a little wrench in the and they don't know what to do my kids They can flow with everything, but they're not good with the structure, right? So there's a negative like it just working things that are unstructured now. So Jacob it has started doing this with me and um, but he was in like a production and he was It's kind of flowy, right

So they're not My oldest son was in the military and he that's superstructure. But he's not in the military anymore. Okay But there's things like Jacob can flow with anything But you put him in something structured. It just depends on what you value as a parent Yeah, so that to me I stopped thinking of Right and wrong in that way. It's like whatever you want your kids to have Yeah, and also too. It's like what are they inclined towards? And lean into that direction because you can try to force a kid to learn piano

And if they just fucking hate it or tennis remember when Ellis was like fire me fire me I don't want to do this. We're like, okay. What am I gonna do? I can't make him You know Boris Becker. It's not or whatever. It's not gonna fucking happen. Yeah That's not gonna happen and he doesn't enjoy it. So who's it for? I don't believe in making the kids and things They don't enjoy. I agree. Yeah No There's no point in that life is gonna give them plenty of those things. Yeah, I know life's gonna give them plenty of shit That they don't enjoy doing. Yeah, I do feel like though if we like if you ask to sign up for some thing

That's different. You have to stick with that. I agree with that. Like, you know, he tried 10. He's gonna hate him I'm like, I'm not gonna make you go back to tennis. You don't like it Then be done. Yeah. Jacob played one year of soccer when he was seven. Yeah Played the whole year after the last game. He took off his jersey. He handed it to me and he said I'm never playing that sport again And I was like, you know, like it. He said, I hated this whole year. Wow. Well, then That's the first time he told you the first time he told us the entire year He and he and then he was like, where are the capris on him like over there? Yeah, and that was it

But Ellis Ellis our eldest court a hat trick the other you had three goals And I was like this fucking awesome. He goes it was easy Literally, yeah, but he likes soccer. So we keep him in doing it. Yeah. He likes it. I never that was never my Sport I like it more as an adult I enjoy it more now. You mean playing it. No watching. Yeah, I watch it more now. You watch it on tv Depends. I like watching the super high level stuff. Like I like watching la liga You know premiere league stuff like big matches They're fun to watch because you're watching just like such elite players. I think

Super elite players in almost any sport can kind of get me to check something out. Do you gamble at all? Not a sports Not a sports. I'll do like card card We moved to vegas and I I'll come see you. Yeah, it's That That trip down the street. It's 20 minutes. Yeah, but We have 20 minutes from the strip It's dangerous. Oh my god. What's your game? What do you like? I like

Craps because I like the communal. Yeah, that's fun. I like the and I just started getting into pagao Really? So my uncle who's a huge he loves to gamble. He was like, you ever played pagao? I'm like, no, I don't You know what I mean? I just think of joe coy and his friends walking into a casino and I'm like, man I used to tell him when he toured I was like you touring with the pagao poker group or who we're touring Oh But um So I I but he was like it's fun because you can play and your money You can win a lot of money, but your money doesn't go as fast. Yeah. Yeah

And so I kind of like that being able to sit at a table and do that when you do craps Do you do I'm gonna go take a fish entry level in other words, you know Come Pat, you know the just the simple but okay You don't do like all the side bets and all that every now and then I will throw in, you know a snake eye is better or something like that, but I stay pretty basic You know what I like I know what I like dude. I like I like the community They just kept seeing them fucking yeah push stacks over to you like what's going on

Half the time when I win. I'm like, did I was that I win? I don't ever know what's happening I also will honestly What's fun for me is like I'll find Like a couple of old women with oxygen oxygen tanks smoking a cigarette on the slots And I'll just sit next to them and I'll ask them their advice Like there's a strategy for slots, but they have it And those because I know my old lady fucking not this one. My mom she plays lots non-stop

Has nothing better to do than to give you advice and is a fucking loser like Is a This is strategy. This is what I don't what do you mean? You're not this is a bad this doesn't pay. Yeah, that's my mom. That's the woman But with the oxygen tank Well, this is an option, but she'll be like you need to move and you're like whatever you're doing Doesn't work. So I should do the opposite of whatever you say. First of all, if you're paying playing penny slots

Get out of here. Yeah, you've already this I'm not listening to you. No, this is not not even max betting I'm like, so if you do hit something on this cheap ass slot You're gonna get a mint. She'll do that. So she'll like play play play And then she'll be like, oh, it's all this and it's like 28. She's like, oh, I want $28. I'm like Yeah, because you're betting five cents. Let me ask you a question My my cousin used to be an actor. He used to be on a show called party of five, right? He was making some pretty good at the time tv money. Yeah, remember going to vegas And we used to gamble and when he was making money

He wasn't gambling and I said why and he said the truth is In order for me to make enough money for it to matter to me Yes, I would have to be willing to lose that money and I'm not It makes sense and he said that's it. He said I still love it. But if I win a thousand dollars, he's like, I really don't Yeah, he was like, it's not exciting and the money that would excite me To I don't want to lose that money. Yeah, that makes sense. Does that do you have that at all? Yes Yeah, right right because let's do this before she gets back. Yeah, right in order for you to Be excited about a certain amount of money. That's at this point a chunk of change

Well, I can get I can get a rush from not a life-altering amount of money, right, but it is true that like Losing a hundred or winning a hundred. I'm just like, okay. I like it to be more Yeah, so that when it hits you're like, yes And then when it hurts you're like fuck like you got to have that it doesn't have to be crazy money for me But I do find that you build momentum and you start you start Raising the stakes I I will say that yeah, church is great Everybody prays. Yeah. Yeah, I don't go much anymore. I'm Jewish

Yeah, same thing I I will tell you I've I've liked vegas more than I thought I was gonna. Yeah So 20 minutes outside of vegas gambling a lot. Are you going and gambling a lot? Of course Okay, so 20 minutes outside of vegas is the quietest most chill place. Yeah, I've ever lived it's when I step outside my house How long you been there? We've been there since december last year, okay, and um It's the most chill

The most neighborhoody More parks more sidewalks any place that I've ever stood for us I was blown away by how quiet now The cut these are the first I think real coyotes. I've ever seen Healthy, you know the coyotes in LA are very methy. Yeah, you know how they're skittish and they're shitting and they're mangy And you know how like they're Hollywood. They almost run sideways. Yeah, you know the weird kind of like accordion these coyotes look like

You familiar with that cartoon balto like that big wolf looking The they are healthy 80 pound. Oh Healthy no mange. Uh-huh And they big you know, I have a half pit half american bulldog And I was walking at eight in the morning And I turned behind me not kidding no more than 20 yards. There was just a coyote following us up the path Damn no in LA those little methy ones. They're scared of you. Yeah, we stopped and turned around which was and he just stopped And stared at me. I threw a rock at him. He didn't move. Wow, and I was like

I'm not coming back here tomorrow. Did you see that video that hunter posted? of The bobcat approaching him and he pulls his gun And shoots at it and the thing just keeps walking towards it. You're like, oh Yeah, did you see the one recently of the bear and that dude with the bear spray? No No The bear is running in and out of the woods Following this dude

These these videos amaze me and the bobcat one fucking freaked me and he stays recording. That's that's what amazes me You know what amazes me? You know, it shows. You know, it tells me I do not have the life instincts that these I would have jazz handed and screamed and started running Drop your phone and use both hands on the pistol something. Oh with a gun for sure Yeah, he has a pit but he's going one handed so he can record So I'm not that's not I'm not on board for that. No way Have I been gambling more than I should? Probably nice probably like a lot of times I have friends that come to town and I'll be like, hey

I'm gonna go down and see tom and I'll drive and I'll see a show and I'm like, you know, I should stop in The casino Real quick. Here we go. Is it set? This is it. Yeah Get back. Look at this. Look at this thing This thing is like, who are you? What are you? I haven't eaten yet today This is freak stays recording. No, I don't

All right Yeah, he's like, hmm. He's like, yeah, that was loud. You missed bitch. Yeah Doesn't even like freak freak out though. No, I think you gotta actually try to hit him with the Dude, he barely flinched. Yeah, the thing was like, yeah, try again asshole Look at him. He's like, all right, I'll go home. Bye. Yeah, he didn't really like scurry away I don't think I don't think I dang dude have any confidence Walking out that that cat has stopped stalking me. Oh, I know. No way. Jose. No. Thanks. Tom Hanks. Yeah Oh, that's a new one

No, thanks. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Yeah, what about Chet Hanks? This is the bear one. He's rad. This one Oh, cool Terrifying he's got spray that shit don't work against a bear. What the fuck is in that spray this this Like well, he's doing the right thing. You're not supposed to turn and run But but ha it's so difficult. Oh, of course, of course, but that is definitely how you get chased down By running and yeah, yeah, absolutely making yourself the prey. Yeah It'll just trigger it. It'll just be like, here we go. But like, you know, I I did a um

I hosted a show on shark week for a couple years. Yeah, you did. Yeah, and I asked that's cool one of the Photographers did that keep going does that keep going? Yeah, I asked one of the photographers. I'm like, what are you like? You're the one with the camera What's the deal? And he said they say If the shark's swimming at you Your best bet is to turn and swim at the shark at the shark. I've heard this too He said because in the ocean nothing swims at the shark So it may give you just a second where the shark will swim away and be like, wait, wait, what's going on?

And then before it comes back you can swim back. So there was a dude Andy I can't remember his last name, but he basically films all the shark weeks Have you had a guy named paul to gilder on here paul is a shark attack survivor He lost one of his arms in one of his legs and a shark attack. Hold on. Hold on. This dude is He's like, look at me. I'm I'm I'm playful. I'm in a tree. Yeah very cute I Why not? Why aren't we just spraying this?

Bear right now. Does he ever spray it? He's about getting ready to think Go to where it's yeah, hi Oh boy Yeah The fact that they can attack from the air Like a that doesn't look like it should be able to climb a tree. No, how can it better than me? Yeah, how is that possible? Dude, he's so big so heavy. He can climb a tree. I what I don't like

Get away. Yeah, this is one really close down. This is too close. This is where you start spraying. Yeah He did it finally What why I think I would have done tried that a little earlier on in the encounter earlier Do you know what I mean like right when I saw the bear I'd have been like, you know, I got this bear spray This is why I brought this. Yeah Andy said The problem with the shark thing is that Sharks are really at their sneak attack

Like they they go underneath you and then they come straight up like a missile And that the thing you're supposed to do is swim straight back down at him And at that if you see a shark, he's not stalking you Which is the scary thing that's terrifying. But he said he at one time Just swam straight back and the shark veered off and he swam back up. He said but your instinct is not To do that. I swam with sharks and the guy told me It'll probably bump you first Don't let it bump you again. It bumps you the first time just to check if you're prey

He said but if it comes back a second time It thinks you're so you gotta punch it in the nose. I'm like, yeah, there's the things I've seen the uh, um A shark expert Say exactly that when a shark Is swimming towards you if like if it's really close swim towards it You can actually tap it on top of its nose And also that all sharks like large sharks, I guess before they bite The moment before they bite their eyes roll back. So they're actually blinded for the second

Before they bite So if you even if you watch like a great white Come out of the water and when they're feeding it as it comes out of the water That moment right before it clamps you see its eyes go back So They're they're blind for a moment, you know, I mean obviously in that situation you're gonna be fucking so panicked out of your eyes Yeah, and by the way, what am I gonna be like? Oh, you can't see. Oh, that's it. You just done I

That show that those that show I learned more Like in Santa Monica the guy was like you been I go I'm kind of nervous He goes, have you been in the water in Santa Monica? I go. Yeah, he set up to your waist I said, yeah, he goes well, then you've been within three feet of a shark and I was like no way and he was like 100% That was the last time the pacific I learned more I I also did on that sound net on discovery. That was a discovery I did a show called naked after dark. What was the after show for naked and afraid?

Oh, I love you were a contestant. You're a host. I was a host And so one of the things we did on the show is I thought it would be fun because you know, they eat weird things I said i'll eat Something that they eat every episode And one of the episodes I ate with michelle beetle. Do you know who michelle is? Yeah, we ate a live Cockroach. Oh, how's it taste? it It wasn't as bad

So they gave me three options So they said you can eat one of three things either they were maggots and i'm like i'm out on maggots I've eaten baked maggots. It tastes like popcorn to tell you the truth Um, there was this caterpillar like a light Almost like a like a harry potter blue like a magical blue Thick caterpillar and these giant cockroaches and I said it's between these two and he said okay the caterpillar The problem is it's filled with like when you bite into it It's gonna the liquid's gonna shoot into the back of your throat. I'm like, no

Yeah, like I can't I said what's the deal with the cockroach? He said it's gonna be the cleanest thing you've ever eaten in your life It wasn't I said why he said they're farm raised They only eat organic food. I'm like, yeah, but they're in a Been together they piss and shit all over each other. He's like, yeah, that's the one part. I'm like, that's a pretty big Yeah, it's disgusting, but It was it was gross because I knew I was eating a cockroach. It's it's online somewhere

But it it was but it didn't taste it exploded in my mouth, which was kind of gross. It's kind of gross. That was kind of gross, but Is it earthy tasting? Yes. That's a great way to put it like dirt. Yeah, dirty You know when something doesn't really Taste like anything. Yeah, you I would assign it earthy, but it was so gross Because there was a little wiggle, you know when you it was alive and because I forget when you A cockroach you can cut in half and that it still moves So you really had to it was pretty gross. That's gross. Yeah, it's disgusting I learned that day that I'm a bit of a whore. Yeah, they were like we eat it. I'm like, no, they're like live tv. I'm like, yeah, I'll do that

Yeah Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'll do it for live tv if people are watching, you know It's so funny because you do stuff for television. It doesn't feel real. Yeah, and you're like, I can't get hurt I'm making a television show like you can you can you can die. I was on a I was on um, uh My name is earl and my character died in one of the episodes. You guys know garcia. Yeah, he's the best One of my oldest friends, dude. He's such a good good guy. He's the best by the way For a guy in that city to achieve what he's achieved and to stay true to who he is Yeah, he doesn't do shit for the money. He he won't so unpretentious. So great

Right great. You're like almost an upsetting degree. Yeah because honestly like And I don't I don't mean I he hates people talking about him But if you think about the amount of shows that he's pitched to the amount of shows that have made tv Like usually If you had a one in ten success rate of pitching a show to getting it on air That would be amazing. Yeah He had four in a row

You know, I and I'm gonna tell a story that I could be wrong about and he'll hate me. Yeah But I remember when he was talking about pitching raising hope And raising hope he was like, I'm just gonna pitch it and I'm gonna have it in the pilot the mom's gonna die Right and she's in jail and he he was like I have this deal and um I'm not sure I want to get back into a day-to-day thing So I'm gonna pitch exactly what I want, but there's no way they're gonna buy this the mom dies Yeah, and he was like to buy it in the room. Wow

But that that's the kind of god. He's so he's so he's such a good storyteller and story writer And he's a good person. He cares about his friends a lot. He's a good dude He also like is a master at showing you people That you relate to yeah, but writing And in a in in a vernacular that isn't above anybody's pay grade. Yeah, but his jokes stay smart Yeah, right. So he makes the people relatable and he makes their vernacular relatable and he elevates The jokes. I don't like them. Yeah. Yeah that guy, right? Yeah. Fuck him. Fuck him exactly like And he knows his face he's listen, I will tell you his face with that beard

God Did you see him when he got that bike accident? No. Oh, yeah, he got all he got all fucked up on that. Yeah At the beginning of covet. He was riding his bicycle. That's right. Oh, yeah, he has like a real conquistador kind of Look, you know, because he is actually Spanish. I still don't believe it. I know but he has that I'm 50 50 on you. Yeah when he has the beard like right there. Yeah, that guy has killed so many To the left. Look at date This guy killed Half of Bolivia when he has that look but this one to the left in the striped shirt. Yeah, I don't recognize at all

That's that's that's that's date. Greg right there. That dude has roofied eight people. Yeah, I don't recognize him at all Yeah, I haven't seen his teeth like that ever. I've never seen him without big beard actually I've never seen him like that. No, man. He he and I The very first show that I developed in LA was with him We he was under he had a he was a young writer. He just came off a show with royal Watkins what's called built to last maybe and um 20th century had given him a deal I met with him. I had just become I was just into being a single dad and

I sat with him and we were like, let's write. He's an idea machine dude. He really is I they ended up passing on greg And giving the project to somebody who was a higher profile who they had a bigger deal with Which fucked the show. Yeah, but I still have the script that he wrote And I'm like, this is like the funniest thing. Yeah But some of those dudes like he's he's like he hasn't even the show that is out right now on um What's it called? Right? He has something freebie. Freebie freebie. Yeah Yeah, Joey both Joey Diaz and I were

Yeah It did a part in that. Yeah, by the way Freebie freebie. Joe Diaz came and did a guest set with from a in sprung sprung in jersey He he's like First of all, he gets standing ovations when he walks on on stage. Yeah Oh when you watch on the stage, yeah But he's you know, I started with him, right? Yeah with him and brody seattle in seattle and I would tell you like I remember watching those guys

Okay, when they first started both of them had this in common when they told jokes they bombed when they went off script They murdered how interesting brody the first time we ever saw brody snap Watching him was the was the absolute best So he was telling jokes and they were bombing in a way that only he could bomb Nobody has ever in the history of comedy bombed like brody. Yeah, but he he goes guys I don't think you understand. I've had a rough night And he goes you just do you have have any idea how hard it is for a single guy who lives by himself to shave his back And he lifted up his shirt and there were patches of hair

All over his back where he just obviously couldn't reach he goes I have trouble spots and the whole place just fell apart because I who is this dude Who's just showing us patches of hair on his back and joey? Would tell jokes that were just Terrible, but when he got mad for people not laughing at his jokes. That's when it was on it is I I would tell you right now and we all know the funniest people in the world But 15 minutes of joe deez in the or at the comedy store There's nobody. No, nobody's 15 minutes

Nobody, especially if it's like just him talking Especially if it's just him talking telling one of his ridiculous stories Like there's no when he I hired him in seattle Um, and I was running this club and he was like I need a job And I was like I was doing this thing on a Tuesday night. Yeah, I um I had he and I robbed a safe. I remember this. Yeah, and so but he he he was working the door. He I had a fetish night And it was Tuesday nights the dj

He he showed up in a A hearse and he had all his dj equipment in the back in a coffin all that shit, right? I love it. There were these two old dudes dressed like they were in Gone with the wind They had the parasols and everything And they were arguing over each other screaming at the top of their lungs and I go to joe I go joe you gotta toss him out. He was one I go you're gonna toss these dudes out. He goes these two dudes

He was like, all right, he will he walks up. He goes, hey use two screens. We gotta go And they were like what and he started to walk about he goes i'm really sorry But I gotta walk I gotta get you out of here and he's guiding them by their elbows They have their parasols and they're hitting him flat And he's just laughing the whole way out Ah And he walks him out and he goes and he walks up to me. He goes, did you see those two queens beating me with their umbrellas? I'm like, yeah

They're umbrellas And then we were we did san francisco one time and he's we're at cobs and he was like What happened to this city? There used to be real facts here There's no more facts here Everybody is like waiting like when can you say and they're just dying? Yeah, and he's like i'm talking about like elton john those kind of Got somebody with a with a necklace with dicks just hanging off of it. You know, where do they go? No one left like that. He's right. He's like kept going on that. We're like, holy

One of the reasons I think that people don't get offended is because he's so authentic. Yeah There's also the shelves. Let me look at that. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah I don't think anyone thinks it's like uh rickles. Yeah, this could just get away with it, you know I do like that type of uh Like when I think uh, you ever go back and watch any rickles. I've seen like yeah, I go youtube clips and everything I am just He that style of joke writing. I wish I had that face too. Oh come on So what a great face big eyes. You know that the tarantino story he told me

that he he's going to visit the set of casino because he's in vegas at the same time as Whatever a couple of and they're like and he's never met scorsese. He's like obviously like a hero so they arranged for him to

go to the set of casino and Watch him shoot for like an hour and then have lunch with scorsese So he's like I show up they're shooting the scene and then As we're breaking for lunch

He's like, you know, I'm I've only done like one movie or maybe two at this point like he's I mean he's he's hot shit, but still he's like, you know young guy He's like we break for lunch and as we're like walking rickles who who knows um Quentin goes Quentin Finally a real director is here. This guy doesn't know what the fuck he's doing Finally somebody that knows how to fucking direct

We have been we're lost here without without a real director He's like keeps laying into this thing, you know, like any and and tarantino said he wanted to like hide under a rug Because rickles he just keeps hitting the point that like we got to deal with marnscorsese Thank god. We got a real fucking director here. He's like But I mean that's the guy who's going to do that to you, you know, there's nothing you can do But that you know what is every You earn trust. Yeah, so you are you can say whatever you want. Yeah, you you young comics sometimes are like

How come he can say this they've earned their trust. Yeah, 50 years the guy's Yeah, you can't be an open mic or there's just some things you're not going to get away with being able to say because the audience Trust you they don't trust you It's such a huge difference, but but like um My favorite and I'm sure you get these questions all the time when comic young comics are like It's almost like they're looking for a shortcut. What's the secret? It's just stage time, right? Yeah Do you say the same thing always it's just getting no shortcuts No, there's just getting on the stage and seeing what doesn't work over and over

Thousands of times I I think the reason why there are so many young comics honestly is because the people at the top of our game make it look easy Yeah So they're like, oh, I can fucking he's just talking because you thought that at some you're like, I could do that Yeah, oh, he's just talking like that. Yeah, otherwise we never would have started. Yeah And then you go do kill tony and you're like, oh Yeah, thank god Jesus I would have I would have eaten such shit

I I never have the balls to do it. I was nervous as shit For them me too. Yeah, it's horrible full anxiety full anxiety I the last time I went I took mushrooms before I went and did it because Roasting people isn't really my thing. I don't like doing it at all But like roasting first timers. Oh my god. No way I I would have never been I remember what my first joke ever was. Oh god Because my parents were there. Oh my god Oh, my first joke wasn't terrible. My mom was in the front row

And I said, hey, and I was 15 I had a mullet. I had uh, I was wearing a white mesh Football shirt no numbers just the mesh. Oh no a thick silver chain. I was full western mass I had my I had my acid wash jeans tucked into my high tops. Oh god. It looked like that dude Yeah, yeah, I looked a lot like that dude and the on the far with the bangs. Yeah, that dude. Yeah That's what I looked like. Hey, and that little Kirk Cameron special for you. Yeah The first joke ever said was hey everybody. I'm so happy to be here. I'm josh. I'm 15 I'm nervous. This is the first fucking time. I'll be the fucking swear in front of my cocksuck and mom

Oh, that's funny. It was actually not a bad. My dad loved it. My mom hated it Yeah, but but uh The vet was the first every other joke bombed But I was like, oh this comedy stuff is My dad was like, you're gonna have to find your own ride next time Yeah, yeah, but he was like you had to say that's what the next day he was like just saying next time You could have said first fucking time. I could fucking swear in front of my fucking mom

You didn't have to say cocksuck and it was it was I mean that was better. Yeah, I liked cocksucking Your dad's just trying to make it more palatable for my mom for your mom. Yeah, you did the right thing. Thank you. Thank you very much You want to watch a couple of your talks? I'd love to I've been curating these especially for Oh my god Is that amazing? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. He didn't stick At all. That's it. Yeah, that was one. Here he goes jump Ka-bam You know how much I know he had first of all

I'm surprised that we didn't get more ass crack on his way down. Oh at least That's a big time burp move. He would have done the same shit, man. Oh, I've seen Burt fall off of of an inflatable Waterside in his front yard He jumped down and he slid off and then he landed on his back on the cement. It was horrible. It was terribly tragic It was so bad. By the way, that's how you can tell you guys are good friends Because she's like that's terrible and you're like, I gotta take It was really painful see he was drinking though. It's fine

It's a billy goat that this guy has as a pet. Watch what happens here. Oh, I can tell you that was about to happen He's lining it up. Yeah Oh Yeah, it was a hard one, dude. Oh, by the way, I want one of those. I know that looks fucking adorable I have a friend who has goats and he said they're fun. They shit Everywhere all the time But he did say the one thing is that they like to headbutt you Yeah, and so you might just be standing there and out of nowhere from behind they just come up

Yeah, and take yeah, that's kind of cool. That's cute. That's cute as shit I'm a diagnosed sociopath and people always ask me about love bombing Firstly, is it intentional? No, not often, but sometimes it is We tend to get bored quickly and frequently So when we meet a new person, we're suddenly very excited by them and all our attention seems to go that way But we don't love a real person. We create an image in our heads of you something that you can never live up to Once we realize this we tend to get bored and we will discard That's unfortunately the cycle of love bombing

So she's got a whole series where she tells you what it's like to be a sociopath. It's really cool But why does her mouth look like? It got like it's not actually her mouth. Well, she's had a lot of work done Her mouth looks like it was like a filter over her natural nose. That is a it's a crazy look Yeah, I do you ever wonder on a day-to-day because they have you've read about how many sociopaths are in the country? Do you ever play the numbers game with like with your friends and you're like, I mean you have friends that are don't you? Show business. Yeah, also executives agents managers hundred percent in our business. I think there's I mean You see it dead in the eyes. Yeah, I mean, yeah

Oh Open your mouth open your mouth What the fuck ate a bunch of cockroaches dude. That was horrible Oh, but there wasn't even I dare you no, he's like, watch this shit. There's some shit. He's done before. Yeah, you'll watch Why is this shit? Oh, what's the grossest thing you've ever eaten live? Let's say this thing live. Have you eaten anything alive? I can't really think of anything Have you done bugs at all? Have you done the cook bugs? No No, I'm not in no bugs. I mean like cow brains and blood

Tongue, you know, I mean, obviously, yeah snake, but Tongue can be kind of gross. I didn't really like it. I think tongue is super gross alligator The last time I had brain it made me shit in my front yard. Yeah I I was running into the house and beth goes you're not you're not doing that in the house I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, I know what's gonna happen. You're not doing that in the house I'm like, we're the shitting it was about to be an explosion And she she knew which bathroom I was running for. She was like, that's not happening Don't do that in that bathroom

And I didn't have time to fuck about so I ended up shitting on the side of the house And I was leaning up against the side of the house And my I remember that my dog walked around the The back he walked around the corner and saw me and he looked at me like Are you doing this? Yeah. Yeah. Are you are you doing this now? Yeah, and I it was a terrible shit on the side of the house Oh, but she was like, yeah, don't she'd rather you shit on the side of the house She was like, I don't want that Because she's like, you're not going to clean the toilet. So

Oh, that's true. The whole thing is going to be a mess. That's true. You know, you're it's not going to go straight It's going to splat and she was like, I know what's happening. Do that outside. Yeah, good call Yeah, she knows what's going to happen. Did you hose it? Yeah, I washed it down. That's just a pet whenever cheetah pet cheetah Jesus That's fucking what's the obsession with wild having wild animals? I just love these I don't think she liked it and then like it But how do you get a cheetah?

Do all we see are more and more videos of this all the time people are clearly getting them somehow Texas and florida they have them I've heard Joe Rogan talk about it. Remember, he's like they have the greatest number Of pet tigers and lions. It's in Texas, bro Like I've heard him say it. Is it terrible that I want This cheetah to maim this dude. Oh, no, no, no, that's that's a good that's a natural instinct Yeah, when I see somebody with a tiger, I'm like, man, I hope this ends with the tiger winning. Yeah This makes no sense to me. It's it should it should end that way everything. I wish these videos went on to just blood baths

Yeah, I know Like, you know those by the way Thank you for being on my list of people that I can send those gross videos to oh my god, you send the grossest Yeah, by the way, you are One of three people that I can send. Yeah certain videos and wild shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's sent stuff That's been on the heavy segment. Oh, very cool. Oh, I enjoy I enjoy a you know what you need to start finding more of legs breaking Legs breaking. Yeah, he doesn't like those. So I want to get more of those. Okay, cuz Nadav's broken stuff before now

My I'm trampling all injuries. I've had and that's what you send me Which are the witches like like the the snap and half ones. I hate those. Yeah, the more We're the like it's swinging a little bit. I don't like people land. See that guy got hit by that. Um Tire on a bike He's just fucking Oh, yeah, yeah, where uh, wait, are you talking about the tire hit like it has got a motorcycle and then it comes back No, this one just kind of hits him off a motorcycle. He is Done. Yeah. Yeah, very cool. Do people

I got some new stuff to show you. I'm gonna I have some stuff for the phone. I'll send you. Okay, cool. Yeah, I try to stagger it I don't want to. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good way. Yeah, I don't want to overwhelm me Yeah, I try to but but I I have a social path and I was an absolute demon as a child I often became a truant and then convinced other people to start being truants with me truant I stole online Consistently and it would always get me into trouble But I can cry on cue and I was very little and cute. So that always helped me out I constantly engaged in physical violence and I may or may not have pushed a girl down the stairs

And then gotten her suspended because of alleged racism Her leg was fractured, but you know things happened to me too Academically, I was gifted. So teachers were always on my side I know that these were horrible things and back then I did not really know they were wrong I just thought they were really funny and I always acted on my impulses because I was so constantly bored and under stimulated Do you like that part, huh? Bored and under stimulated. Yeah, I love the devoid of emotion It reads you know, she's not lying. She's so sociopath reads that is so chilling to me the zero emotion

She's just reciting facts. I may or may not have pushed a girl up the stairs and she fractured her leg But you know things happen to me too Things happen to me too. Yeah, that is a I I'm Fascinated by this. She's a fun time as I've gotten older. I've actually gotten more empathetic. Yeah. Yeah, of course And also too, I've learned to trust my feelings about people and situations way earlier Where you're like just trust how that makes you feel inside if your stomach is reacting if your head is something's Reacting to the thing then just listen to it

Don't ignore it that and you know what else the the roller coaster of young person emotions. Oh my god I've you know what really helped like I've stopped looking at Things as success and failure and I just group it all in his life. Yeah There's there's all of it So if I stop assigning and I just go well, there's gonna be good and bad And if I don't assign it either and I'm just like this is life Yep, and it's all part of the deal I've my emotions have stopped riding with that kind of stuff. You stop attaching meaning to everything. Yeah

It's just it's the other side of the coin. That's right. It's just Tuesday moment The next one's gonna suck especially with children you learn that lesson with the the inherent suffering Yeah, children are constant suffering. We have to wrap so I want to make sure we plug the The the channel is is it my youtube channel? It's on my youtube channel, which is you just go to youtube and find josh wolf I think might be josh wolf comedy, but the the show is called family tussle and this is what I would family tussle Yes, this is what I would say everybody you know, I

I I I pushed all my chips in on this one I really I really did it's a way to do it and I will tell you Without pause. It's the best thing I've ever done in my entire career. That's awesome. It's It all I when people kept telling me what it could or couldn't be and that nobody's gonna watch it I was I know what it is. I in my head. I'm like, this is entertainment And you do something that is unthinkable now, which is you've turned down networks to keep it for years Like you've been offered to be on a network and you're like, no, I'll keep it and that's right because

creatively Look, you know the reason I call it family tussle also is because next season It could be the next season if it could be red sox ranz vs. Yaki's fans It could be you guys versus Burton his wife It could be it my me and jacob versus jocoy and his kid. It's family tussle And basically it makes it personal and different Every season and the punishments we do like he made me get my asshole wax and the tattoo But the real show is the relationship. Of course. It's the dynamic. It's the relationship that he and I have it's the

I would love it if everybody just gave it a shot. It's over on the youtube channel. It's super funny Watch it. Congratulations on that. Thank you, and I applaud you for doing it that way. I appreciate you man. Absolutely. Thanks for coming by dude Thanks for having me. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. We'll see you guys next week. Bye, mommy You searched for music as you were finding your favorite song to listen to call me their own name I've heard people just massacre people fuck up It's just never never stop Whatever Krishna

No, it's christier and she was like, oh Chrysler People Prichinger Chrysler Crazier You almost had me say his name You're fucking up

Brett It's Chrysler and she was like, oh Brett Chrysler. I just could not stop. I was like, it's like it just doesn't stop Real This is a man. I hope it never ends