Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Sal Vulcano Is Shocked This Is On YouTube | Your Mom's House Ep. 845

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

SPONSORS: - New customers, bet $5 and get extra bonus bets if your bet wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #dkpartner - Visit http://BlueChew.com to get 10% off your first month. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://shopify.com/ymh - Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to https://liquid-iv.com and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. This week on Your Mom’s House, Christina P is riding solo while Tom Segura is away shooting Bad Thoughts, and she’s joined by comedian/Impractical Joker Sal Vulcano for a unscheduled ride into the world of Architecture Digest. Things spiral immediately as Christina introduces Sal to Kevin Leonardo, a self-proclaimed “educational” creator who demonstrates ass shaving, douching, and butt-hole hygiene in full HD. Sal, who has a famously weak constitution and a severe fear of vomiting, is absolutely not prepared for what he sees, but you probably are. From there, Christina and Sal debate wild internet conspiracies involving satanic rituals, celebrity baby-eating rumors, and adrenochrome hysteria, questioning how anyone could possibly keep secrets at that level of fame. They next break down a viral food challenge. where a man with obviously fake teeth eats an obviously roasted potato every single day. The chaos continues with Sal recounting his nightmare experience in a self-driving Waymo car, the duo dissecting unhinged “alpha male” Uber-fight roleplay videos, and a brutally honest roast of shirtless celebrity vacation photos, featuring Jack Nicholson living his absolute best life. Plus some TikToks, cool guys, and Grammy fashion, all in this weeks episode for you to chew on. Your Mom’s House Ep. 845 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, [phone] or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $300 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Bet must settle by and Token expires 2/22/26. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 2/15/26 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:25 - Celebrity Satanists 00:09:57 - Opening Clip: Beaver Teeth Potato Eater 00:15:54 - McDonalds, Steve Irwin, & Beavo's IG 00:21:24 - Waymos & Disrespectful Uber Drivers 00:31:48 - Vacation Jack Nicholson, Pam Anderson, & Eyebrows 00:40:44 - RIP Catherine O'Hara + Michael Jackson & Eddie Murphy 00:46:11 - Sex Scenes In Movies 00:48:54 - Architecture Digest Open Door 00:53:30 - Uncomfortable Vin Diesel 00:57:48 - Grammy Fashion 01:04:49 - Sal's New Show 01:06:34 - Christina's Curations 01:16:01 - Closing Song - "Talk 2 U Girl" by Saul Garland Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Local news is in decline across Canada, and this is bad news for all of us. With less local news, noise, rumors, and misinformation fill the void, and it gets harder to separate truth from fiction. That's why CBC News is putting more journalists in more places across Canada, reporting on the ground from where you live, telling the stories that matter to all of us, because local news is being. Big news. Choose news, not noise. CBC News. Hi, everybody. Thank you. Welcome to your mom's house.

With me, Asale Volcano, everybody. Thank you. We're talking about Kevin Leonardo, who shaves his ass and douches himself, and it's considered educational on YouTube, and you have two children now. And I was just telling you before we started right, I don't let my kids on YouTube,

because I know that this guy's on that. I thought they couldn't, I thought they didn't have stuff like this, but, um. they do. Yeah. So he's going to let us know what he's letting me. If I was interested that what's he teaching me. Here's what you're going to learn, Sal. How to safely finger your butt. Go ahead. Let's see how to safely, because it's so dangerous. Your butt is a really good way to loosen up before sex, more specifically receptive anal sex, more specifically modeming, more specifically. I don't like his intonation and his inflections and the way he speaks,

Just right off the breath. What do you tell you? It's, he's annoying way he's speaking. It has an effect to it. Yeah, it's not just speaking. No, it's not even gay. No, it's not that is gay.

It's like, he's just like, it's like, it's obnoxious. It's like, here's how you get a finger up. I'm gonna tell you how to do it. Yeah. It's like, you know what you're doing. You know you're being a creeper. Yeah.

If you're a friend of his or in his life, and that's what you have to listen to every time he opens his mouth. That's a lot. I mean, he might be a nice enough guy, but he's like, you're absolutely right. I can hear him being a co-with his friend at the coffee house. Like, I'm trying out to me.

Telling you the life story and the removing butt hairs using nair from the kitchen cream of it. Oh my God. This is YouTube? Yes, babe. No, that's not. Why are you doing me like that, man? Are you kidding me, bro? I was not ready to see a full open crowd.

Welcome to your... Come on. That was terrible. But this was the original one that she was referencing. Yeah, this is how we got into the world. Oh my God. I thought it was going to be blurred or something. We just saw directly in his ass.

Bro. I wasn't ready for that. Oh, I didn't know this was on YouTube. Yeah, dude. Again, can you spell the name of his channel? Oh, my God, dude. There's no... Oh!

It's disgusting. But look how smooth it is! You didn't see how smooth. I don't need to see it. You didn't even see the results. Just look how smooth. Sal, Sal, do yourself a favor? Look, it's, look how smooth.

Oh my God. Look how well that narrow works. That is, that is, that is, that's a, that's intrusive, man. I don't want to see that. But like, I don't like that he has to show you the wipe. Like, bro, we get it. It's, I, I. But did you see his behole and how clean it was?

Please just look. Can you just put the stove? Because if I look, I won't forget the image. It's okay. I already got enough of the image. But imagine it's a woman's behole, because that's what it looks like. I can't. I'm not an idiot.

I can't just imagine it's a woman's. It's disgusting. You know, I might have told you guys on this show before, but I have a weak constitution. Really? Yeah. What do you mean? Well, if I look at that, I could throw up. I really could throw up.

And do you want to know something crazy? Yeah. I have a severe phobia of vomiting. So if you were to do that. Yeah, it would be like stand by me. Everyone just stopped vomiting This would be the worst episode ever Oh my god, that was

I cannot believe that's on YouTube out there Wow, I thought they just did like unboxings Yeah, me too He basically just unboxed his asshole Oh my god Differing guy That was like too intimate Dude

No one has shame anymore I can't believe he just did that I can't believe he just did that That's not even behind a paywall Bro Nobody has any Behind a paywall. I know.

It's weird. You can see him in the wild and be like, I watched you near your butthole like in 4K. I think about that all the time. Like the people that we feature on this show, they have lives. There's people that they talk to every day. They ride a bus. They're on the subway next to you. You never know.

You never know. Well, it's just like, you never know people are into. Like, Jay-Z is satanic. Did you know that he's eating babies? I heard that. Nikki Minaj came out. Do you believe that? No, that's crazy, dude.

What? Like her, like, she's, like, she's just, I don't know, I just, I didn't know she was like, like, so hard. I saw a post say, like, this hardcore, like Christian rhetoric. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, I will say that. Quoting the Bible. Yeah, but when fighting the dark horses. Not as bad to what the wild, but like she, I didn't, like, her of all people is like, now that she's like, yelling at us about Christ.

Yeah, why now? I wonder why now she's choosing to, I mean, do you think it's true that people eat babies in satanic rituals? Is that real? I would like to believe that's not real. It feels a little bit crazy. I know. But I don't know what's in these files either. They keep alluding to some crazy stuff.

So, you know, honestly, to me, the butthole was worse. That they have Steve files in Satanic. My question with the satanic baby eating is like... That can't be real. Well, you're such a high profile person. How do you keep that secret? Right. Like,

you're taking a big swing. Your circle is so big. Yeah. Like, I mean, Dom and I, yeah, like we make a silly video

for the podcast and TMZ picks that up. And it's like, how are you, and we're not that level of famous. Yeah, you're really, you're really into baby eating.

If you're like, I gotta do this. Yeah. Satan requires. That can't be, they can't be a human on this planet that's going to do that,

right? That's what I think, but then I've had, I've had people in the music industry and the house between you and me. Tell me that it's true. Years ago, my friend was like, there are Satanists in the music business.

Yeah, but what does Satan mean eating your kit or eating a person? Can't you just be a Satanist and just be like, mean? No, because you have to be an asshole, like hope for bad things or something. Why are you eating a human? Because you derive your power from Satan. And you have to give Satan sacrifices so that Satan will bless you with power. It's like praying, if you pray to God, God will favor you theoretically.

That's what they believe. That's what Tanner told me. And Tanner's a Satanist. They believe that they have to do evil things in order to get power. Yeah. Like ritual sacrifice. Like Satan requires it. Like lunatics.

Yeah. But Jay-Z's such a good rapper. Oh, Jay-Z eats them. Yeah. Allegedly. Allegedly. I don't believe that. That I don't believe.

I don't know. I don't think so. He's from Brownsville. I don't know. Brownsville, Texas. No. Isn't he from Brooklyn? He's from Brown?

I don't know, man. I mean, that's truly, that's truly horrific. He doesn't seem like the baby eating type. I don't think he is. But there was that whole thing where like you order a pizza and you get a kid or something like that. Yes, code names. A couple of years ago.

They said, like, I remember my niece came into the house one time. I was visiting my parents and my niece came in the house. She goes, I'm so upset. I'm like, why? She's like, did you hear? what's the blonde lady who's mean to everybody? Which one? She's a talk show.

She's super famous. Ellen. Oh, yeah. In real life. Yeah, yeah. She comes in. She's like, oh, did you hear about this? Ellen and Oprah, like, drink the blood of children or whatever?

I'm like, what are you doing? Slow down. I'm like, they don't think Ellen and Oprah drinks the blood of children. But now here we are a few years later, you're telling me Jay Z just chomps on them like their apps. That's what I'm hearing. And also adrenachrome, have you heard this? What is that? Hollywood thing.

We're going to get. Is that like taking people's essence and drinking that? It's, okay. It's supposed to be the adrenaline of like a child. They'll take the adrenaline. That's why they scare. I'm telling you, the dark virality of a Hollywood blood harvesting. They're people.

I don't know. If this is real, I am going to walk out of here in a pit of despair. But sell, doesn't it, Blair mind? There's people like you and me and showbiz who are so like far, Like my excitement today was that I drank this latte. Like, woo! Oh my God, I'm crazy. Like, I dream to grow home.

I know. And like, just be happy with your money. Like, just stay home. Yeah, it's just get a cat. What happens in their brain? What switch is flipped? We talk about this all the time. Yeah.

I think what my theory with fame and evil is like, you were evil before you got famous and then the fame just amplified. And now you've got the resources to be a piece of shit. Yeah. That's why like in superhero lore, like for instance, like Batman and such, like they're humbled by their orphans or they have something humble in the beginning of their lives that makes them like an inherently good person. So when they get power, they're not pieces of shit. But I don't know. JZ had a bad childhood.

I don't know. Maybe that theory doesn't work. Was his uncle shot by a burglar or something before he got wrapping superpowers? I don't know. No, his dad. Oh, man. I don't know. I mean, honestly, if that's something that comes to, like, those people just put, I mean,

give them a death penalty. I don't give it sure. I know. Straight to help. I know they're like, I mean, they're probably messed up. They're probably psychotic and should be, like, locked up. But you can't be doing that. I mean, it's like.

No, straight. Straight. Yeah. I thought we were going to have like a light conversation today. No. I took a Waymo here. I thought it's about Waymo. We'll talk about that later.

You know, we haven't even done the opening clips out. Okay. And I know you like food. we're going to talk about some disgusting things that you enjoy eating but before that here's our opening clip are you ready here you go let's do it day 19 of eating a roast potato every day in 2026 cheers oh cheese mom oh is randy don't bring anyone mothern's dead no my welcome welcome welcome you're going his his mouth was so moist He's got some teeth on him too. What do you think? I never understood like if they're going to spend that much money on a chain and we cannot understand what it says.

Like you know what I mean? I assume that maybe it's fake but like do you know what that chain says? O vase? It's backwards. It says bevo. Bevo. I can't tell. Even when you said it, I can't tell. What does Bevo mean?

Probably his name. Yeah. So it says, read me. I'll read it. Bevo is an internet personality who got famous for looking like a beaver. Oh, so he embraces it. He went and got a chain made up. Wow.

Bevo has taken this challenge of eating a potato every day. He is currently on day 19th. Yeah, did you hear all that? Oh. Yeah. That was the worst part Yeah I don't think eating a potato

Every day is inherently bad It was his mouth and his saliva Yeah he had a wet It was wet chomper Let's listen to it again Those big white chompas Day 9-E Not 8 every day

26 Cheers cheers Cheers Listen Oh God He looks He looks like an animated

Live action animated at the same time. How does he look like, he looks like a Pixar character and a human at the same time? I know. Why is that such a big challenge to eat a bite of potato every day?

Not a bite, an entire potato. Yeah? A whole potato. But it looks like he's got to put all the shit on it too. I can't just be like a potato with salt. He's got to load that thing up. But what's the challenge? I don't even get, I don't get it.

Like, why is that what? Like, who's gonna, who's gonna like, who's he really like? just roping in here. I'm not going to be like, I got to watch this guy eat a potato 365 times. It's like, no you can't.

Prove it. Prove it. No, you can't govna. I can't eat a banga every day. You know, like, who fucking cares? The time has finally come. It's Super Bowl 60 this weekend. The anticipation is heating up

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Visit blu.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blu for sponsoring this podcast. I agree. This is the biggest non-challenge internet challenge. It's also a drag. Like if I eat a potato every day, like, think about it everywhere you go. Like you can't go and make, you got to be like, I got to find a potato to eat. Like, you know what I mean? That's true. If you're traveling, it's a travel day, you're like, I got to find a potato in the airport. Do people have, like, that much, like, like, free time in their lives that he could take on the challenge of eating a full potato every day and recording it. Is there more footage of him eating? Like, do we have an explanation? Like does it have to be loaded? Does it have to have cheese? Well, what is it? Let me pull up his page. It's so stupid.

I will say, though, he's only on day 19 and he's made it to you. You know what I mean? Like, this is the place. Like, he's made it. You know, it only took him 19 days. You know what I mean? He's succeeding. Because here's the deal, man.

Like, there's shit that I really like that I think I have eaten 19 days in a row. Like, there was a sandwich in England, a curry chicken, mango chutney sandwich. I ate it every day for about a semester. So what is that? like fucking 90 days. McDonald's. Easily I could eat McDonald's every day. And I think I did in the summer of 1997.

Like, yeah. It's not that fucking hard. Didn't that guy die that ate McDonald's every day? Yeah. Oh, that's a shame. Yeah. He died recently, but like, something happened with that guy.

He's a documentarian. What's his name? Yes. I know. What was that documentary? I know he's talking about. Supersized me. I know I see his face and he's got that stupid facial hair too.

But he's sweet. Yeah. I think he recently died or something. I was like, oh, man. Morgan, something? Morgan Spurlock. Yeah, he was, I mean, he did that documentary, supersized me to expose, like, how vulgar and vile McDonald's food is and how they upsell you. Like, you want some more?

Yeah, supersized it. So he ate McDonald's every day. What was it for a year? And he was, like, pre-diabetic. He gained 50 pounds. It was terrible. So how did he die? He died like a year ago.

Oh, I'm going to go to cancer. I know. You know who's death I still can't get over? The crocodile hunter. Me too! That's a shame. I think he was beloved and also like it's just crazy. Unspecified cancer, yeah.

That's cancer will get you. 53, too. Fuck, that sucks. Yeah, you know what's interesting? I feel the same way and I see clips of him all the time when he's like, you know what I do is my money? I don't need a gold donnie. I'm on a boil all the land because I love animals.

And we're like, that guy died? I know. I love that guy. I'd watch him show me how to nair his ass on. Him I would watch. Like, all right. You're not having no sex? Watch this cow brat.

But it's like he didn't even get, he got taken out by a stingray, which I think like are known to be also like docile. Well, and also too, and doesn't the thing point down, right? The stingray, the stinger points out and is just like, how did it go up? up and through his heart. I don't know the circumstances that surround it, but that is bad. It was freakish. Yeah. His, uh, it was freakish.

And his daughter's around, Bendy, she still does stuff. Yeah. And Linda. And Linda was so in awe of him. Is that the wife? Yeah. Yeah. If you see clips of him talking and she's just like, oh.

Like she just, she adored him. Yeah. They were sweet. He seemed like a really good dude. Yeah, he doesn't eat babies. I would have been friends with him. Me too. I feel like I could have been friends with him, even outside of like crock stuff.

Yeah. Like his non-crock life. He'd be so cool to come. He's like, Sal. I just want to hear him talk. Got something to show you, Mike. Yeah, yeah. I feel like he'd be that excited about everything he does.

Sal, you might pizza, Mike. Yeah, he'd be so cute. Yeah, what a sweet soul. He's not in the Epstein files, no way. Can't be. No fucking way, that guy. So you've gotten to a... Oh, wait, what about this potato schmuck?

What's his story? So what's the big deal? Yeah, you're right, sell. This doesn't seem like much of that. of a challenge. No. His teeth are shinier than his diamond necklace. His teeth are shinier than the necklace.

It's always the bad veneers. I don't think those are even. I think those are the perfect smile, like the kind that you put in. And they, they're... That guy is making people feel bad about them their teeth. I've eaten rice potato every day, 26. Oh, he's under 2026.

Rose potatoes. Rose potato. Dye. Jeez. Yeah, that's like one solid block of white. Stop swallowing like that. Why does he swallow like that? I never saw someone swallow with the teeth outside the lips.

Day 23. Die 20 freight. Like a horse. That's why he seems like animated. He seems like, you know, he reminds you of an ice age, the little, like, a little. I know what you're talking about. A little. A little.

A little. A chimpunk or something like that or a squirrel or whatever. I mean, God bless them. This guy is a following. Whatever that thing is, I don't know. What is that? That's, I don't know. A sloth?

What animals are? I've seen this movie, it's 20,000 times. I don't pay attention. I sleep when my kids watch this. Dude, he looks like, that's what he looks like. Yeah, that's very accurate. Giant eyes. Stupid teeth.

Like that freeze frame right there. If you just look down, like, foot into the exact same face. Die 20 frame. What a fucking man I want to take. I don't know. So anyway, you've been, you took a Waymo here? You know, I didn't know I was taking one though. I just, I went to call an Uber and it just said it's a Waymo.

And I was like, you know what? I've never taken one. I'm not going to take one. I'm not going to keep taking one, but I was like, I'm just talking about it with some friends. And I was like, I'm going to do one for the experience. That's why not, you know? Yeah. And it sucks.

It sucked the whole way. Tell me about it because I fucking hate. I'm, um, I'm, opposed. I don't even want to try it. I won't go back in it. Okay, sorry, I interrupted you. Go ahead. Tell me the driving itself was fairly smooth, but like when it picked me up, it drove past me a block and across the street. So I had to, you know, it waited for me when I went and got in. And then when I got in the car, I was 11 minutes. I looked at my GPS. I was 11 minutes from here. And it said 23 minutes to drop off.

And I was like, no, I was like, you could hit pull over. It says it'll take almost, it could say, it could take up to a minute for it to pull back over. But you can't readjust anything. You can't tell the route. So I deduced right awake, Garcia, because I'm not a fucking moron that it probably couldn't go on the highway, I guess, or whatever. So it took sides to, but it doesn't warn you that your 11 minute trip's going to be 23

minutes. So I was like, all right, so I called here to just let you know. And then about two minutes from here, I was looking down, but the Waymo slammed on the brakes. And I don't know if it was the car that cut us off or the Waymo, but I think we beeped.

We. I think me and the car beeped And it literally jammed on the brakes Like a and a hold on the horn And a car like cut right in front of us like Oh shit And then it dropped me off with a senesta end Instead of here

And I'm like talking I'm like you're passing it You're passing it I'm like stop stop There's no voice recognition I hate it so what if it It was annoying It kind of slowed up outside the lot here

but then like just kept going and then just kept going and then it like the last like minute it was going like only three miles an hour like so it pulled into the other lot slow and then it like drove really slow in that lot to the front of the place and then I was just like just stop

just stop the car just finally when it was going like really really slow I just opened the door. Stop! Yeah and I walked here too so I was like as I gave it two stars I said drop off pickup and I said and route was too long

I gave it two. I didn't give it one because the driving, some of the driving seemed pleasant. Pleasant. It was like it seemed fine and not fine. It's too safe. Like it doesn't, it's overly safe. That's what I was thinking too.

Like if it's not going to go above the speed limit, who would take that? It's inefficient, right? And people hate these cars, so aren't they like setting them on fire and stuff? Oh, I didn't know that. I'm just my hope. Are they messing with them?

Oh, yeah, all the time. And anytime there's a riot or anything, Waymos are in flames. Good. Is that right? Every time I came. Good. Oh shit. Can I tell you something?

I just finished watching all the Terminator movies with my sons. How many other? Oh, like four or five. Yeah, wow. As a fucking cautionary tale against trusting the robots. Yeah. Okay? And Sarah Connor is not happy about this.

I'm not happy about this. Every time I see one, I fucking flip at the bird. I'm like, never. I'm never going to get into this. Yeah, I won't do it again. I'm not going to do it again. Because you know why? What if, bro?

what if you had a fucking warrant out for your arrest? You get in that waymo and it checks that or something. And next thing you know your ass is in jail, dude. We're one step away from that. Yeah, yeah. You couldn't even get out of the fucking thing. Yeah. You had to slow down.

It was annoying. It was like it was rubbing it in because I'm like, you missed it. You missed it. Just stop because now I got to walk more. You keep going. You know, I was like just like literally like chastising it. Yeah. And I just opened it and they're like, stop.

Yeah. It's like, make sure you have your phone. It was like, all right. Bitch. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, it could drop you off anywhere. Could drop you off to get trafficked or, I don't know. Yeah, it's like Herbie goes bananas.

Yeah, Herbie. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Here, I've got this for you, though. I'm glad that you actually chose that because if you'd taken an Uber, this could have happened. Hey, you, Uber driver. You talking mad shit's my girl. You better stop. Is he see this?

He'd disrespecting her, and I'm going to disrespect you right between the eyes. He got that? Damn, dude. Hey. Yeah. Quit giving her a lip, man. Wow. Wow.

I love his hypothetical situation that the Uber driver is just outright disrespecting his girlfriend right in front of him. And then after he threatens him with the first fist, the Uber driver kept it up. I mean, I don't know. I know that men, you guys have a language all your own. Like, for instance, Tom's told me when he walks into a room, unconsciously men size up other men. Like, I could take that guy. Okay, I don't do that, but now I feel like a pussy.

He's a psycho. But you think, like, don't you guys fight when you're younger and learn, like, hey, you're going to get beat. Like, you shouldn't threaten people on the internets and stuff? No, I don't know. Maybe I was just raised in a different area. I didn't walk around fighting people when I was younger. Where are you from?

Staten Island, New York. Well, that's, yeah. No, there were fights and stuff, but, like, I didn't, it wasn't like I was in the wanderers. I wasn't like in the warriors. And I didn't walk around the streets, like, looking for trouble and, like, mixing it up to learn, like, life lessons and to toughen up and stuff. I wasn't doing that. I would, I guess I would try to avoid physical confrontations if at all possible. Right.

That's what I'm thinking. And, like. But this guy was, he was, honestly, I would be scared. if he told me that, if this guy said that. Okay, well, here, let's hear what else he has to say. Hold on. Bro, I told you, quit disrespecting her. This Uber driver will not stop. Don't worry, girl, I got you.

He's got me. So you want to keep messing with me, driver? You want to keep doing that? Don't you fucking do it. Because you're going to find out real quick. I'm not someone you want to mess with. All right, pull the car over. We just, we're going to settle this right freaking now.

What? I love that he's white knight. Is this his like, who's he, who's this for? Well, okay, so there's a lane of dudes who will put hypotheticals online to attract women. Like they, he's showing you what an alpha he is. And if you were to date him, this is the kind of guy you get in. This is the, and honestly, as a woman, the, the thought of a man defending your honor is very enticing. That's what I liked about Tommy when I met him.

I'm like, this guy's big. he's going to fuck somebody up. Yeah, yeah. He never has for me. Right, right. But, or I've had to. Yeah. He would.

But, like, that's, that is what you want. But I don't, I don't know. Do you think he's one of those guys that's quietly a psycho? And, like, you fight him and he can fuck you up. Or is he just a bag of dough and you could fuck his ass up pretty harsh. Oh, man. You know, I'll tell you, he has, in the face of this, he's had a lot of patience with this Uber driver, too.

It's been about five or six warnings. And I don't know what's going on with you Uber driver, but the car is in motion. And this guy, he will not stop railing. on this guy's girlfriend. And I think he's, I mean, I think he's given him, he's given the Uber driver enough chances at this point. You should fight. Yeah.

Yeah, I like your assessment. Just keep on disrespect and see what happens. You just keep it up. Hey, buddy, do not test me. All right, that's it. In a moment, I'm going to request you pull this car over. Just hold on a second. Don't do it.

Don't do it. All right. Begin, start thinking about in your mind that you're going to be pulling over soon. Before we start. at this podcast, there were moments where I wondered if anyone would actually want to listen to us and our brown talk. No matter what you're starting, the doubts will always creep in. But that doesn't have to stop you from turning your idea into a business. Shopify is the platform behind millions of businesses around the world from household names to brands like ours here at your mom's house.

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You love them. So we were allowed to stay on the sidewalk of the square block. We weren't allowed to get into the street, but we can go around a full square block on the sidewalk. And so when we ventured like to the top of the block, there was these kids that were like bullying, like being a little bullying. And my cousin was a year older to me. So when you're little, that's a lot. And he was driving and I was holding on. Like I was riding bitch and not big wheel.

And I remember my cousin turned to me. He goes, don't worry, Sal. He goes, if they mess with us. And he made a face He goes, they'll get one of these. And that's exactly the energy that's going on right now. Yeah, the exact energy.

And his fist, like, he didn't like, he didn't like, he did it like this. Yeah. He's like, I'll give him one of these. And I felt, I felt what I felt protected and safe. Yes. Yeah, I did. You understand.

And it basically was this guy. It's the same vibe. Yeah, that's true because my little boys love to talk about fighting and how they would fuck somebody up. Yeah. And they're into guns and weaponry and killing. and, you know, it's normal. Yeah.

Great. Hey, do you want to see some pictures of Jack Nicholson on vacation? Where is that? I'll pull him up. Shirtless Jack, let's do it. Brett, we've seen him. I've seen a few of him shirtless. See, much like our love of the crocodile hunter.

Yeah. I saw these photos like weeks ago and I still think about them once a day. Yeah. For so many reasons. Like, I like... Is he doing a cannonball? Of course he is. No, no, he's just getting out of...

He's getting into the... But he's fat, so that's how you look when you have to pull your body weight up and in, you know? I don't know if I look much different than him. No. No. But he kicks it with models. Look at him.

Look at all the models. Yeah. So this is recent? That's really great because I thought he was like... Good for him. I thought he was like kind of like a recluse now or something like that. No. No, no, wait, put in recent ones, because they just dropped some like a month ago of him.

God, he looks like shit. But like, you still love him and he's still hot. He's him. I mean, you can't. No. He's a one of one this guy. I know, right? Yeah.

I would be intimidated. This is someone I might be a little bit intimidated to meet. No, Jack Nicholson on vacation 2020, recent ones, yeah. Like, I guess these are all recent. I love that he's airborne in that one. He's just like, he's airborne, but his arms are like totally not like. Well, and the paparazzi's taking these photos. Yeah, leave the guy alone, dude.

Like, fuck right off. Like, he's on a boat. He doesn't, he's not asking to be photographed. That's those long lenses that they're using, you know? I understand that. But I also will say this. I'll also, I mean, I like that he just doesn't give a fuck. Because if that, I might be wearing like a rash guard.

if I had you know if I I wouldn't I wouldn't be as comfortable even right now as he is with just letting them out letting him go look at those tits I know nobody is and here's a thing is that the rash

this poor guy I know he's the most unflouted he's in the middle of smearing on SPF oh my God that is so mean it's like mean to post it

it sucks so bad like why do they have it out for him He's never pretended to be like, right? Like the hot guy. Like he's just like, No, actually, he got to love him for it. Yeah, like he's cool. I love it.

Oh my God. Oh my God. It sucks so bad, dude. This photographer sucks, dude. He sucks. He's probably snapping like, this is the amazing. He's fucking. That's one of the funniest.

It's like, that's so, I love that he's jumping in the water like, you know? He's not a blast. He's crushing his life. Yeah. But that is what I like. about like all the celebrities that go to the fancy places they get paparazzied which is funny

but not him I think he doesn't deserve it I like him a lot well you see like Heidi Klum was in St. Bart's over Christmas and they dragged her because she just looked like a normal 50 year old woman naked or like what a pig yeah fuck that

who cares but they also pose they also pose for these things too like these are set up oh yeah are they are they Oh, yeah. Like, see, like the ones where she looks good. Right.

And she's walking with that guy. She, so sometimes they'll have their own photographers take the pictures and then sell them, which she definitely does for sure. Oh, wow. That's, uh, I'm, I'm naive. And the Kardashians do that too. That's why they always have like, you know, those celebrity like Us Weekly's and they'll be like, Kim's just out on the town with her latte.

And it's like a perfectly posed because they have photographers do that. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Heidi just, I guess there's one photograph where she was just normal and she had her top off and they were like, people were dragging her for, you know, just being an old broad. I wouldn't do that. If she came to me and took her top off, I would not drag her. I would let her be her. Would you want to, do you want to?

She's got, I mean, she's no Jack Nicholson topless. She's no Jack Nicholson. But I think the difference being like, if you put yourself out there is like, I'm the hot chick. You always have to live up to being the hot chick. It's so rough. Like poor Pamela Anderson, even though now she's kind of like, she's become like the cool, ugly, used to be hot chick. Wait, does that make sense? Like I used to be hot and now I'm just like normal and old.

Yeah, she's, she looks great. No, no, she's got this little Lord Fauntleroy haircut now and she doesn't wear makeup to premieres. It's very upsetting. But we're looking at unflattering photos specifically, right? No, no, no, no. These are red carpets. Look at her then and now. Look at her little Lord Fauntleroy.

Look at the stupid haircut. Yeah. Well, I like that she's Stupid. She's trying new things. Yeah, you're very nice. The only thing I don't understand is like the with the eyebrows.

But like, other than that, like, that's Pamela Ender. She's. She's smokeshow. Yeah. Can I tell you what's with the eyebrows? I'll tell you exactly what happened. What happened to all of us in the 90s is we over tweezed because that look was cool and then they don't grow back.

And they don't grow back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So people like they tattoo them now on there. Yeah. Which is crazy because they always look surprised. I know.

You know? Yeah. It's always like I do. Microblading. I've been here a while. I think it's called my makeup. I will never tattoo my face. I've never done,

does Tom, does Tom wax, do, what do you call it? Twees. Thread or whatever they're called? No, but he'll,

he'll get like crazy hairs and all tweez them. Yeah. Oh, that's just regular maintenance. Why do you do? No, I never have.

You don't need to. I can't, like that manscaped, like that manicure. It's too much for me. Yeah. I don't, I don't, you look at me. It's not right.

So gay. Hold on. There is this YouTuber. Who was I talking about? The science guy that I brought up earlier? The video game guy? No. He's on Netflix right now.

The Crunch Labs guy. Can we please look at his eyebrows? This is so mean and I don't care. But just look at his eyebrows. Because I think it's too far. Like, yeah. Mark Roberts shout out. I love your show.

My kids. love it. They're learning about science. But it's the brows, dude. Right? Do you guys see what I see? Am I wrong? Is he like grooming over grooming them? Something's going on there. I can't really... I know. Can you...

I should have brought my glasses. Can you make it big? Because I was watching it last night with my kid. I don't know. It's a strong brow. It's his firm strong brow. He's not. No, he's no George Whipple. George Whipple's wild.

George Wipple's nuts. Bring it up. Just looks like he has two fur coats over it. That's old school. That's when a man can be a man. I mean, that's fucking nuts, bro. And he, he cultivates it. I mean, he could at any moment in time dial that back.

I know. Whipple, that's not his, he's definitely Greek or something, right? Yeah, that's something else. I wonder how much random shit gets caught in those. Like just large pieces of dust and stuff like, you know. That's so crazy, dude. That sucks that that's your thing. Yeah.

You know, like, I'm going to be eyebrows guys. Yeah. You know, like, you tell me it was like, you got something in your teeth. I wonder every time someone's like, you got something in your eyebrow. You got a piece of spinach. You got a piece of spinach in your eyebrow. Terrible. Yeah.

Good for him. Good for him. Good for you, Whipple. He's dead, right? He's got to be long. I I I I uh for me it's unclear I if I was playing the game to guess I would say he's alive still live shut the front door 71 oh my god yeah that's got Catherine O'Hara's past stop it 71 she was that's crazy I was that's sad man I like her so I love her no did you

no no idea I wish I did me too I'm such a fan of beetle juice I loved her and that of course home alone we watch that weekly in her house so good give it give us Catherine and back take Whipple. I didn't say that. Edit that out. Even swaff. No, I'm kidding. George, I hope you're thriving wherever you are. God bless you in your brows. Fuck. She was fantastic. She stole every scene. Did you watch Sixth Creek? Of course. Yeah. I mean, I couldn't get enough. I'm just quoting it. I was just like, yeah. She's dope. She, they, whatever, they caught her, like, TMZ caught her in line. Did you see that when she was a little bit older and she was at the airport standing in line and then like, what's your favorite role? And she's like being a grandmother.

Yeah. I was like, that's cool. It's a dope. Yeah, that's a dopes. Yeah, she got it. She was weird. I liked her. Yeah, I know. All right, let's talk about the Grammys.

Do you want to go through some Grammy fashion with me? Yeah, let's do this. This was last night, Grammys? I don't know. I don't watch it anyway. I think it was last night because when I walk into my hotel, they're like, there's a Grammy viewing in the thing. Oh, okay. I didn't know.

Yeah. But I know Nate won a Grammy. That's right. Shout out to Nate. Shut out. Congrats, buddy. I love you. Congratulations.

Yeah. I don't watch these award shows. I stopped. I used to watch him. Really? Well, my parents watched, like, the Grammys and, like, I remember, like, I used to be into the movie one, the Oscars. Yes. Like, you know, like, because I used to, like, bartons and stuff.

We used, like, like, bar parties and stuff and get into it. And there's a kind of a, but I'm so, so removed from the war shows like the last 15, 20 years. Same. Yeah. I think it was, that was the time of television when there was, like, five things you could watch at a given time and your parents. It was a big deal. It was a big deal. Yeah.

And I do like the Grammys when Michael Jackson. came. Yeah. That was cool. And he walked in through the hat. That was the best Grammys. It's the best one ever. I know. It's like he was God. He's like, he's like hovering in the air. I remember watching it as a kid, and I just was like, this man is, he's walking, he's walking

on water. I know. He was so talented. I used to, I mean, I used to walk around with the glove. You're so lucky. How did you get one? How did you get one? It had said, it actually said Jackson 5 on it. And in gold. It was a white glove.

But in hindsight, because I still have it. Because it's just like, I think it came with like a record or something like that. But it was head jackson five on it. But it was a white glove. But it's so funny. It literally looks like an of glove.

Like it's not like the sleek one he wore. It was like a white, it was like a huge white shitty, like you know, something that would come as like, you know, like a bullshit extra on a record, you know? And it's like,

it's just like you look, it looks like you would wear it to like, it looks like an of glove. Like, but think, about how original that was. He's like, I'm going to wear one glove, one glittery glove. I know. I don't think anyone's ever done that. Nobody.

He's like, Cory Feldman, who's ripping him off, right? Then I'm going to moonwalk, and then I'm going to bring a chimpanzee to the Grammys. Oh, he didn't bring, he brought McCauley. He did? I think he brought McCulley Culk into the Grammys. I think about McCauley's... Or Emmanuel Lewis. Sorry, it was Webster. Yeah. Not Macaulay.

Yeah, ma'am and George Papadopoulos. Oh, my God. Webster was great. He used to go. I love me so much. Didn't he used to go up and downstairs in a dumbwaiter? Yes. Didn't he?

Didn't he? Didn't he? Didn't he? You had a sadder childhood than I did. You remember that? Yeah, they used to be like, I'd go upstairs and put him in a dumb waiter and just levy him upstairs. Yeah.

Why couldn't he call her mom? Why ma'am? Yeah. Why couldn't he just use his steps? It's, it feels demeaning to throw him in a dumb waiter. That's reserved for like food. It's so scroes and unsafe. And he was like a 30-year-old man.

I know. At the time you played that role, the 80s did not give a fuck, did it. No. Because there's also the reality of that. He's a 30 old man. And they're just like, come on, get in the tub waiter. We'll look you upstairs. But, no, Michael Jackson, I was like, I mean, that was, he was everything.

Oh, my God. And I wanted the jacket, the red beat it jacket so bad. But that was like $300. I remember my parents were like. Because then he had the thriller one too. But the beat it one, yeah. The red one. Yeah.

The nice fight. The zips on it. Yeah. Fuck. And he broke out into the knife fight. Wait, what's the thriller one? That was just... The thriller was a full red outfit.

Oh, the leather. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, goddamn. Which is kind of what Eddie Murphy wore and delirious. I was just thinking that. Wait, who came first? Eddie Murphy or thriller? I think it was the same freaking thing, actually.

I watched this when it came out. My dad didn't... We had the cassette. When it came on VHS, I should say, is when I was... But my dad, like, my parents were divorced, like, so my dad had... He didn't prohibit. Like, I didn't just watch it. No, me too.

And I would... would watch this on cable because they would loop it. And I've still to this day memorized all these bits. Raw, everything. It's like, and I'm watching now, I'm like, damn, this is wild. Come home with the AIDS on the lips. You're like, AIDS on the lips. Yeah.

I mean. Pussy on me over here, pussy on me over there. Yeah. I know. And he was only like 21 or two or something when he did that. Yeah, I know. So he had the bits like that were accessible a little bit, like the one like, why'd you pick the ice cream off the floor?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right? And then he had like the ice cream man, like all that shit. But then it's like, yeah, so you watch that and you left. But then it was like, he talked about so much. And I'm like, I don't know. I guess my parents were just like, yeah, you know. Well, mine too.

I don't think there was an awareness that children had different psychology. Like we were just... I think they were just like, that's bad. Don't say that. It's fine. Yeah. Tits and movies I used to see. Yeah, all the time.

Tits and just for no reason. I always just feel a little weird. Yeah. Maybe not just, maybe if not that was just tits, but like if there was sex, because that's another thing. We used to just watch movies. like as a family and then they would be sex scenes. Oh my God, it makes me so uncomfortable.

Yeah, so do you just happen to you now? So I forward through that stuff. If I'm watching with my boys, they'll be like, up, grown up stuff, boon-bo-boo, and I forward. But I let them watch all the violence, which is probably right. Well, because sex with your parents next to you is so gross.

That's gross, yeah. There's this great joke Lori Kilmartin has right now because her son is a teenager. Or he's probably older now. where she's like, I figured out how to get my son to stop watching porn. I told him that if you watch his porn, he has to do it sitting next to me. That's so good. So funny.

I always felt weird with the sex scenes. I would feel so uncomfortable. One time, I swear to Christ, nine and a half weeks was on. Stop. Yes. And I watched that. With your mom and your dad? Why dad?

My dad's stepmom, sister. I know we would watch like basic instinct yeah I look away for a second or something I'm like but that's also like a single is that a single dad things my dad was oblivious he wasn't single he was married to my stepmom he wasn't like he wasn't like a fumbling dad he just like it was on and then I don't know he's like I just don't know I just feel like I always watch whatever we wanted I just thought he was just like gave us the benefit of the doubt I suppose I don't know I know we would watch

I would watch anything. Yeah. And now I'm like, I'm so cautious about that stuff because it did traumatize me. You're not supposed to see like tits. Like fucking at nine and a half week. Oh yeah, yeah, not tits fucking. Tits fucking is.

You know my first tits that I saw was Melanie, Melanie Griffith and body double, I think it was? Oh. You know a body double? I don't remember. This was at my friend's house though. And we were, we walked into the living room and walked in on it.

It was a core memory. Yeah. I remember. I don't know. I must have been like eight and I was like, oh damn. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She's gorgeous.

Her daughter's so pretty, too. Who's her daughter? Dakota. What's her name? Fanning? No. I don't know. I just spoke Hungarian to you.

Dakota. Dakota. That chick. Dakota Johnson. Dakota. Oh, of course. Yeah. Right.

Right. So pretty. They're so pretty. Oh, yeah. She had a great AD open door. Did you see that one? A.D. Open door? Yeah.

The architectural did you ever see open door? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, I want to see her.

She had a great one, yeah. Yeah, she's a cool one. That's what I do. I swear to that. I know. I stay home and I just watch like architecture videos. Yeah, I saw Lily Allen's one where she, when she was living with the stranger things guy when they were married before he blew it up. Oh, they're not married?

Dude, apparently, allegedly he cheated on her everybody. And then she wrote an album about it. It's crushing right now. She's crushing. Oh, wow. But their place was a total hen den. I mean, look at the, look at that. It's like a chick palace.

Yeah. So you could tell like, okay. Oh my God, he publicly, this was a big public thing. Like he got caught. Yeah. Like he, oh, wow. Well, I guess I don't know the details. I forget.

I don't know. But I think, yes, he cheated on her. It's out. She wrote an album about it. And the details are in like the lyrics of her album. Oh, whoa. I know. And they have an open door together.

He had his own in his bachelor apartment before her. he has an episode like when he just lived in New York City on his own and then he got married then did one with her and then now I want to see the next one both of their houses after they broke up and had to splitterating back up oh my god I just this is the last thing I would ever do is like welcome architectural yeah it seems it it is crazy that people let let them like into the house like that no way I daydream about doing like I daydream about my episode but like just just like but not I wouldn't do it no and I love the show I daydream like showing them dumb things

like and here's my wall of cool guys I'm like this guy's cross-eyed this guy died taking 10 to 12 benedro like not really that guy over there is me I still don't see it but all right yeah but I would hate to like do it to be serious and to be like I'm really proud of this room yeah some people do it pretty good they're like they don't seem pretentious And they seem like genuine and it's interesting. Some people are, that's why I like watching it too. It's like there's a whole like scope of how they are. There was one, I think Tyrese, I think.

Like, I think it's Tyrese. The guy, is he in the old back, back to the future. Fast and Furious. He's a black guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a handsome black fella. Yeah, I think, I think this is his in Atlanta. Yeah.

Oh, dude, his is hysterical. Can we just watch the, can we watch the thing? He just walks around. He's like, it's like a crazy mansion and he has like servants every. It's like it's so like he's like he's like this is no one can afford this this is like I swear to go open your door and you look to the left and the right I'm just playing. I'll come on in first of all press pause for saying it let's let's scale it like oh it's Atlanta it's not Pacific palisades right so like the same amount of money is going to go a lot far your dollars just stretching yeah let's keep it real with the location folks come on well he's acting like it's he's acting like it's in the West Village. Right. Yeah. Right. Relax, bro. But he does go around like bragging about everything. Nobody, nobody else had an open door like this. He just was like, it was just, it's really, really funny, pretentious.

What's up, A.D.? The house is a total 25,000 square feet. The house is six stories and it has an elevator in it. We're not going to be able to do all six stories. I probably would grow a bunion if I walk through this whole house. This room right here, It's like, I kind of nickname this room, Zen. The moment that they come into this room, you see their energy go. Yeah. Yeah, totally.

There's pieces in it where he starts explaining how rare this wood is and a normal person can't have this wood. It's like, this is unreal. And then he ends up relaxing and he cuts the check. I believe in prophetically thinking and speaking things into existence. And so what I did. did was I went online and I actually ordered a replica of an actual Oscar and you'll see in the front there's no name on it. So one day I believe I'll be taking a picture like this backstage while talking to the press that's always backstage in the Oscars.

Wait, I'm preposite. Don't you feel sick? I feel uneasy. I feel sad. Yeah. I feel uneasy. He has a way like that. You know what?

His coast, because Vin Diesel has a way of. I see him in these interviews. He's weird. He like walks the line of like, I feel a little bit uncomfortable, but he seems very direct, but it's like, I don't know, he has his air about him. You ever see when Vin Diesel, like does an interview? Let's see. It's very like, um, he seems like a, like a down-dirt person, but it also like he's in this

space that makes me uncomfortable when he talks, Finn Diesel. Okay, let's see. I'm sure I can pick it. Right, because there's people that are real and you're like, oh, that's, that's real. That feels real. I don't know if he's like, it's actually so real. it's like, but it's like, oh God. First one, and he.

God, you're so beautiful. God, she's so beautiful, man. Am I right or wrong? Look at her. How am I supposed to do this interview? Look at this woman. Tell me your story. She's so beautiful.

Conyo, man. Talk to me, baby. Tell me your story. Tell me your, let's get out of here. Let's go. Let's go have lunch. My God. So you see what I mean there?

Wow, and like here's a thing, dude, like she's a depressed junket. She knows how big this star is. She just has to get the interview. Yeah. And like, he's like, I really want to fuck you. You're fucking hot. I mean, shit, this chick's so hot. I want to fuck you a quarter mile of the time.

A quarter mile of the time. Look at me. You're family. You're my family. I want to fuck you. But you have to imagine at this time in his career, women were just falling right over themselves. I suppose.

He's a big story. I mean, to be fair, I didn't even, I've never saw anything like that. I just mean, like, he's on like Conan or something. Like he's like, he has this way of talking slow like that with like intent and everyone's just like kind of leaning in like waiting from to finish. And it throws the balance of the whole conversation off. That's kind of what I meant. Like a little bit more like like like I don't know like it feels socially awkward.

But I think he's just being unapologetically him. and so he won't like, I don't know, you know what I mean? Well, thanks for having me. Yeah, yeah. Thanks for having me. I mention it, I know people talk about this all the time, but every time I say your name, a lot of people, you know, create a name

when they get into show business. Vin Diesel is one of my favorites. It's such a cool name. Don't clap for yourself. Don't clap. He's clapping for him. To say Vin Diesel in an uncool way. It's a, you know, it's like, you try and you're like,

oh, Vin Diesel, still sounds cool. That's a good point. Yeah, Vin Diesel. Yeah. I'm going to keep saying it to you. Vin Diesel. Yeah. You know what it is, Sal?

Low IQ. You think so? Yeah. He's a dipshit. It's not that he's... I just don't think he's... Do I think he's a great actor at what he does? Yes.

Is he attractive? Yes. Is he doing Shakespeare? Never. Right, right, right. No, I'm not... I just don't think he's like a bright. And I think that is bright.

his brain that it goes that way. Do you know? Yeah. It's like, you know about how McConaughey does it, but it's like it's kind of like that southern drawl, but he's kind of slow, but you kind of,

I think he has enough goodwill with us where it's like, ah, fuck of a connor. 100%. I think he's doing a version of that, but I also, then I'm just like, like,

like, if you're in an interview with him, like he'd be like, yeah, you know, I, let me, you know,

and it's just like he, and you just watch, I feel uncomfortable watching it. That's how I know. Something goes off inside me. And I'm like, I feel uncomfortable right now. Like, I don't know why. Like, he's making me hang on everywhere.

He's talking so slow. It's slow talk. And it's, it presumes that the listeners got to just hang in there. Yeah. Like, I'm just that interesting. You're going to hang in there. I wonder if that's like a technique. You know, like those books you read is like make friends and influence.

Yes. Dale Carnegie. I wonder if it's like, speak slowly. Yes. And, like, make them, you know, like. Yes. They say that. Like, I've, I've seen videos on TikTok, like self-helper people.

Yeah. They tell you to slow down. Yeah. And I'm sure they're right, but I don't fucking care. I'm anxious. You know what it is, Christina? Mm-hmm. For me.

Go ahead. You know, for me, in my own life. I just go, ugh. Well, that's my favorite, yeah. I mean, I feel, yeah. And that's just me. Yeah. Barf.

Okay. Let's do some Grammy picks since we're on that. Let's do some fashion. And then I want to run you through. some TikToks. So this is the main one that everyone's talking about. Chapel Rhone. That's hot.

Whoa. Sorry, I thought that was Jack Nicholson. So the dress is attached to her nipple rings. What? Brilliant. That is,

I thought I saw, seen everything. Ten out of ten. That's a, that's a, that's a banger. That's fucking amazing. That is, ballsy.

Wow. That was wrap. To pull that off, even to make it. If I was like the designer, I'm like, hear me out. She's just going to put these right through your nipples.

That's phenomenal. That's phenomenal. That's really, I mean, she's just topless. I love it. Well, this falls on the heels of J-Lo. Remember the infamous J-Lo. Do I remember it? Come on.

And then Rose McGowan as well, I think to the MTV Music Awards with Marilyn Manson, wore like a really nice titty dress. Titty dress, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I know what you mean. But how are they releasing the photographs of this? Because I know the nip-nips, they have to blur. Oh, wait. Are those her actual nipples? I can't see.

No, she has on covers of pasties or something. So I think they're prosthetics and like she doesn't really have like nipples, I don't think. I think they just kind of like, you know, blended it all together with makeup. Zoom in. We got to invest the gate. What's prosthetics? The nip, the whole thing, the nipple with the piercing. Yeah.

It's like an overlay of her breast on top of her breast. So let's see how the dress is engineered. I mean, it could be that the whole top is C-Sys. through you know what I mean like it's just a skin I could never God bless people's like security oh my god I could never

you imagine you're showing up to be photographed Sal let me tell you saying we went on vacation over Christmas and I thought I looked really good you know and you're like like I'm feeling myself in a bikini yeah Tom took photos of me and I was like fuck dude let it flattering angles and stuff no it's just I'm fucking shit I'm a fuck shit

yeah but we're normal we're normal We're normal. Yeah. I'm a fat fucking cellulite, fat fuck pig. And you're like, that's my lot. Okay, so how are we doing this? So look, yeah, there is a cover. So those are not her breasts?

Those are her breasts, but I think they're covering, like with a pasty or something. It's nothing if it's not fashion follow. And I think the tattoos are fake too. Okay, so maybe, oh, that's cool. That's a really cool idea. So that's like a mold on her maybe? No, I think it is her real breasts and her real chest, and they've inked it with that Hena ink, and then I think there's an overlay on the nibble.

Something's actually covering her real breast there, like a latex. Okay. And then they put a hole through it, and then it sticks there on her breast. Wow. That's really cool. That looks great. 10 out of 10. I think this is a banger.

I mean, it's, I'm going to be thinking about it. It's cool. It's really cool. Even to strike that pose, though, like, sometimes you have to do press and promo and stuff, like, you know, you have to do it for whatever reason, right? Yeah. I feel more uncomfortable when people are trying to take a photograph of me, like, then, I mean, my skin crawls. I know. I can look at them and smile, like, regular normal people do that when they take a photo at their house, like.

Yeah. And then they want you to do anything beyond that. And I don't know what else to do. I tell them, I can put my hands in my pockets or out of my pockets. I can smile like this or smile with no teeth or. and like don't smile. Those are the options. Like people are going like like that you know.

I know. Like you know what I mean? Like so here's another. Okay. So what you should do? Because I had someone teach me how to do this back in the day. You have a technique? Three quarter turn.

So you find the pose that you can work with that you look good in and just do that. Don't listen to them. Right. I learned the three quarter turn back in my Chelsea lately days on the red carpet. You just put your hands on your hips. Yeah. You do a three quarter turn towards the camera. I don't like a profile though either

So that's the thing It'll thin you out I got a Jack Nicholson going on myself So that that's what thins you out The three quarter turn You turn three quarters But I put my hands on my hips And that thins you out

You can see there's Look up the next The last bad thoughts Tom and I I do the pose there But if you find the one pose Just do that one Like look how she's posing

Like that's you have to think about that And do that And then be confident enough To not feel like a moron doing that That's the worst part. I don't have it in me. I just don't have it in. Okay, see that hand, there I go.

There's my three quarter turn, hands on the hips, one foot in front of the other. You look great. Thanks, buddy. Thanks, pal. Okay. There's fat bird. So you just have to find one pose. Oh, and then learn like your one angle when that's it.

Yeah. I always look so awkward on those things. Of course. And they're all flashing and I'm just like, something always ends up with like a hand. My friends are funny. There's always like a misplaced hand. I'm always just like like, like, yeah. I just, I'll never have it.

I'll never have that confidence. No, no, no, I know you're talking about it's those videos that you see like Natasha Leon, I just watched one of her and she was like, yeah. Like they know how to do the angles perfectly. I know. And I'm like, that's years of experience. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a lifetime in showbiz. I'm just thinking in my head like, they're not embarrassed. Oh my God. I'd be so. Are they not embarrassed? But they're not because like they're given, they're doing it right. I just, I feel so. I make everyone feel uncomfortable because I say I'm just letting you know that this is the

uncomfortable thing I have to do. I don't feel like I can do it. You're all staring at me. I feel stupid. And so just, and now they're all like, oh, come on, what's your favorite music?

Like they put on a song I might like, like it all of a sudden I'm gonna be like, oh, because they want that photo of you. Yeah. Well, the thing is that this is what I learned too. Like, if you do anything, you like, sometimes you don't get to go pick.

No, no. Pick the one. And then I'm like, all right, so that's it then. You're not getting anything, you're not getting anything but me just smiling. That's right, because they fucked me up a few times

In the beginning, I was so excited to be on red carpet that I was like, ah, just an asshole. And then, yeah, there you go. That's up to the fucking associated press. Or like a photo shoot. Like a photo shoot when you were to know it. Like that's like, that's like. I don't do it anymore.

And like the photographer's trying to like bond with you. Like I don't know people don't know this. But like it's out of my realm. So when I go doing, they're like, hey, how you doing? Like, so what do you like to do? Like, well, let's talk about stuff you like. They think like, you know. Stop it.

Because then you're going to get a photo of you that feels like, you know, you're in a headspace of like as you're talking about puppy. or whatever. I know. The worst is when it's a male photographer and they try to flirt with you or they'll be like, think of a guy you like right now.

Think of a guy that's sexy. And I'd be like, I'm gonna throw up like I'm not that. I can't. I'm not that girl. And there's like 30 people watching you too. It's, it's embarrassing.

People might not relate to this, but this is my point. I can't relate to it. I can't either. It's weird and they make you do it. Maybe that's why we're podcasting. Oh, speaking of this is why this is why you, my friend,

you have a new podcast slash talk show called the Mnuch. They're just minutia. Mnuch. Mnuch. Yeah. Sure for Mnuchia.

It's like, it's a talk show. It's ridiculous. It's like very absurd. It's like, it goes in and out of like ridiculous talking points and like sketch comedy. And it's all bits. How fun.

It's almost like a in between two ferns meets like a talk show. But it's not like I'm not, it's like that's like, that's like how he's like a dick to the guest or right. But it is like all bits going back and forth. And it goes in and out like real conversation in bits. That's awesome. It's cool.

It's been a lot of fun. We got it. We've, I'm doing a shooting a, it's shooting it by season. So I'm doing 12 episodes Cool. For the first season and we've had some really good guests on. I just do it Will Forte. I'm doing with Paul Rudd. I'm hoping method man comes on. Yeah, it's gonna be, it's fun. That sounds awesome. Yeah, just some really fun we've had so far. Uh, Richard Kine's gonna do it, which is he's the best. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to have him on. I mean, yeah. I'm just doing people that would be really fun to, you know, like, well, that's the secret of this is having the fun ones that you're excited about like you and I love you. Oh, also, also come see him do stand up comedy, Salvolcano.com. Am I seen your last,

Volcano? Volcano. Volcano. But 99% of people say Volcano. I've accepted it. Volcano, comedy.com. Where are you going? Where are you going? Upcoming, I have Atlantic City. I have the Ryman in Nashville. Ooh, that's a big meatball. There's probably like 30 or 40 cities up there. I'm always adding more, but it's like, you know how it is. I've been touring this since 24. I'll tour it through 27. I'm going to the UK, Canada. Nice.

Yeah, by the time it's all said and done, I'll have done, you know, a good hundred and 25, 30 cities. It's awesome. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. It's chugging along. Well, he's very funny. Go see him.

So before I let you go, though, do you know, would you like to do some TikToks with me? Yes, I do. Okay. As you know, we feature the marginalized communities. It's a little. You know? I just don't. What?

There's just no shame, man. What? You know. It's fun. It's fun. It was fun. Well, I like this lane of TikTok's the empowered farting women. Because truth be told.

Is that a thing? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's a whole thing? Well, she's getting paid for these farts. Don't think that this is free. What do you mean? So like, there's a whole lane of ladies who. About fart into a jar or something?

Fart. Yeah. And like she'll send you a smell, a fart in a jar. or they'll be like fart on a cake and send me you know 50 bucks i'll fucking fart on oh really i know there was that one girl that was doing it right and then she like something happened i don't know like i heard about one girl that was like farting into a jar and mailing it and stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah that's the thing that's crazy you know i have recurring nightmares that i'm poor again and then i've i've lost do you have i don't know this is the theme of my

nightmares is that like i have to start from scratch again and i never made it in showbiz Yeah. And in the dream, inevitably, I remember that I have some kind of social media following, and then I'll be like, but I can sell feet picks or I can fart in a jar. You have a last resort. You can. I mean, you really can. God, please. I mean, people are doing it.

Like, it's a viable option. I really am. I just don't know how they fart on command like that. I think it's prep. Oh. I think you have to plan for the shoot. Okay. Do you know?

Like, I know if I eat minestronee soup in three hours, it's going to happen. Okay. Okay. So you have your way. If you needed to do it, you have it. You have an in. You know what I see? You know what I mean? I think that you have slapped Tina before, but why, Ike? She would be walking around looking sad with a lip drop and I keep asking her. And what is the matter with you? Yeah.

What's on? And there's always nothing. And it would go on for a day or two until finally, why in the fuck don't you? And then this is where I would slap her or something. Then she would change her mood. I had a deep stuff. 80s did not give a fuck. What the fuck? I knew that he did that.

I didn't know he went on and just talked about it like that. I know. That's why it's such a mind. Oh my God. That is fucking insane. He's like, she got a droopy lip for like one or two days. Finally, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, she went on, he's sad?

What do you say? She's like, sad or something. Yeah. He had to slap her out of her sadness. Well, you're not listening. Okay. The point is that she had a bad. attitude and he doesn't want to be around a bummer like that which I understand don't you hate it when your

wife he's got a bad attitude but even back then there wasn't backlash from that I don't know I think everybody knew that Ike was beating her like right but he's talking about it like on a current affair babe you're time I know remember when her movie came out what's love got to do with it and then everybody knew it a piece of shit he was and then he was demonized a lot of life is he alive is like Turner is he alive I hope not No. He's not alive. Okay.

Yeah, I remember that one with Sean Connery. I was a calling to. Like, a woman needs to be slapped. Yeah. For every once in a while, she's not listening. I know, but my dad will be like, yes, of course. She's right. This generation of men is like, yes, of course.

These women need to shut the fuck out. Oh, my God. That's crazy. And he said in an interview like that. I know. He looks. how dope he looks though he's got the he looks fly yeah i will tell you that he definitely looks like a pimpleasing sometimes you gotta wake up and drink some coffee eat a donut what do you think

well uh her complexion it's a red flag yeah but sometimes you need to wake up and have a coffee and have a donut she speaks to truth though she does where do you get these things i always wonder Every time I come on here, I'm like, I don't come across these videos that you guys do. Hashtag blessed. Yeah. Yeah. It's because, like, I love this stuff. This is, you know, it's just.

There was a time you didn't have this. No. You know, like, we didn't have access to these types of things. You know, no, really. No, you had to get like a VHS tape that was full of weirdos doing weird stuff or like, you had to find them. Like, G.G. Allen was like my introduction into weird. And I was like, oh, this is fucking public access shows. Yeah.

You're like, oh, this is where the weirdos hang out. Yeah, public access, right. Yeah, that would be it, really. But who is she? What's her story? You know? It's a mystery. Yeah.

It's a crime. Yeah. She's missing a few teeth, so she's had donuts. But she seems like she's happy. Oh, she's chilling, dude. She's having a better day than most people. Yeah. I seem happy.

I love you, Nick, but sometimes I feel like there's a lot of couple of privilege between you and Melly. And that makes me feel like a mistress sometimes. We meet. Look. I don't want you to feel that way. Like, how can I improve this? Like, when do you feel like that the most? It's mainly around the times I get to see you.

Yeah. I get to see you on the weekends and Millie gets to see you in the weekdays. And I understand it's because you work from home. Aw. It just makes me feel like I'm like some weekend lover or something. I totally get that, Amy. You're acting? I'm totally fine with you taking more time because I only need to see Nick three.

times a week. Hold on. These do a fight over Nick. Come on now. Well, if you don't know how to navigate being in a thruple, these videos help you navigate how to be in a thruple. That's what this is. This is like, but they're not a real thruple.

This is. No, no, they're really in a thruple and they're doing like thruple advocacy where they teach you how to be in a thruple. So they're acting out like how they would have a problem. Oh, my God. We'll find out what's happening with Nick. We can create a polycular agreement with things that we all agree upon. No one speaks like this.

That sounds great. That sounds great. Maybe we can start by rotating the weekdays and weekends a bit more. For Nick, bro. So that I can have some time with him during the week. Absolutely. Let's take another thing together. Make sure we're on the same page.

Yes. Let's do that. Your happiness and feelings of equity. Oh, my God. This is horrendous. Where's the guy, was it in there his asshole, please? Can we get him back out? This is horrible.

I'd rather watch the narrative. This is so cringy. I know. He's like, I totally understand your need for angry. Could you imagine talking to your wife like that? It's a real, real couple. That's real. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Triple, whatever. These dorks, they fuck each other. And then they want to, like, tell you how to do this, too, so then they'll put instructional. It's crazy that they'd be progressive enough to be in this situation, but then still need to make a video to explain. how to do it the right way you know what I mean like all right it's I know it's like you're so

progressive yeah it's like you're already there you're so progressive and you're still got to be like I need to explain something like how this it's just it's just it's just a weird like it's just I don't know it's just that that's a that's a that's a lifestyle that is so out of my oh like buddy you and me both Satanism baby eating yeah polyamory throupling yeah I always leave here with anxiety attack Every time I come on, I like think about the videos for days after. Yeah. And I'm just like, oh, fuck, man.

Because this is what I, these are like my nightmares that I think about a lot. Like, I love, I just love trauma. Like, I can't do chit chat. I just got to talk about the dark shit. I can't do small talk. I can't. Yeah. See, we're different in that way.

We're different in that way. Manouche. I thrive on a small talk. The whole thing is, it's really big guess, really small talk. I love. Yeah. But it's like, yeah. The trauma I try to stay away from, but I know what I'm entering into when I get here.

Yeah, you've buckled up. I'm right. I know. You did your prayers. This is my, like, this is like my trauma filled for the, I fill with my cup here and then I, until the next time I see you. Then you don't. Well, guys, check out Sal's new podcast. That's actually a talk show called Mnuch.

Go see him on the road. You got some great gigs coming up. Yeah. I feel like I should be calling out a few specific ones, but I'm blanking right now. You're doing great. Check him out. Yeah, Joker's is on right now on new episodes every Thursday on TBS. And we just actually, we just got our highest ratings ever.

What? Congratulations. The show is growing, finding an audience right now. I think a lot of it has to do it like TikTok and stuff. Great. Well, it's a great show. It's such like a fun show to watch. It's like hanging out with your best friends.

Yeah, it's fun to do. It's fun to do. Well, you guys are the best. And we love you. Thank you for coming. Thank you for letting me horrify you, Sal. No, this was great. Thank you for having me.

Take care. My mom. See you.