Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Sam Tripoli-449-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: May 23, 2018

Need your sack shaved? There's a really nice guy who is willing to do it. He's pretty naked if you don't count the leather straps. Don't be weird about it - a LOT of straight guys get it done too.  Plus, when you have to make a brown and the store you're in won't let you go, there's only one thing to do - yes, that is correct.  Sam Tripoli joins us and so did so many talented FEMALE listeners who are just dying to TRY IT OUT!  

Hey, Gene, here's something I keep forgetting to mention, so I wanted to put it right here at the top of the show. A little while back, I was part of a documentary that was shot in Asia called I Need You to Kill, and I went overseas, did shows in Hong Kong, Macau, Singapore, with the great Chad Daniels and Pete Lee, and we went with Louis Lee, the great owner of Acme Comedy Club Minneapolis, directed by the great Jay Elvis Weinstein, and it is now available to watch on Amazon Prime for free. If you have it, if you have Amazon Prime, you can watch it right now, so that's what

I wanted to tell you. If you haven't seen I Need You to Kill, just go log on to Amazon, and if you are an Amazon Prime member, you can watch it right now. Please do. Thanks. Hey, guys, what's up? Did you happen to know? Did you have any idea?

That every single, solitary episode of your mom's house is now on Spotify. Yeah, that same app that has millions and millions of songs now has thousands of podcasts. You can listen to all your favorite shows. I mean, you know, I'll put this one obviously at the top, but you could, you could discover new shows if you needed more than just your mom's house, which I guess is possible. You know, we're pretty jealous, but that's fine. You can subscribe to our show. You search for your mom's house, you tap follow, and every new episode will be delivered to

you. Podcasts. That's right. Podcasts are now on Spotify, and they are streaming right now, right now, right now, right now, right now, right now, right now, right now, right now, right now, right now. Great. Good job, Gene. Gene, go ahead.

Oh. And tell people what... Oh, geez, I'm not even... Oh, dears. Oh, dear. It's what a morning we've had, folks. Let me tell you. We've been all over the place trying to get our lives.

So yeah, I've got... It's been, it's been quite a morning. We're barely holding shit together, but that's what's exciting. I have two major announcements. The first being, I'm taping a half hour for Netflix, June 4th, in Las Vegas. It's called The Degenerates of Comedy, and Joey Coco Diaz is on the lineup. That's huge. It's huge.

Big J. O'Corson and a few others, I'm sorry, whose name I don't recall at the moment, but you can come to this live taping for free by going to my website, Prasina P. Online. Use the promo code. Can you turn it down just a little? Oh, sure. The way you're allowed to. Oh, sure. Use promo code, your mom.

That's Y-O-U-R-M-O-M for preferential seating. That's the thing, guys. They don't know you're a fan of your mom's house unless you use that code, your mom, and then they will make... I was promised they will give you seating at the front of the venue so you can be up closed and you can see Joey and myself telling horrific jokes for The Degenerates of Comedy for Netflix. In the meantime, L.A. Peeps, I'm going to be running my set for Netflix May 31st in

the belly room at the Comedy Store, 8 p.m. show. We got Sam Tripoli on that lineup. We got Ryan Sickler, Steve Simone, and a few others. The tickets are available on that one, also at Christina P. Online, November 24th, San Diego House of Blues, and then December 8th, Jewdork Titties at the Gramercy Theater, so very exciting stuff. And then also July 17th, Cardi B and I will be delivering our babies on the same day. That's awesome.

That is awesome that you guys worked that out. Yeah. She's been hearing about it on Twitter, and so far we haven't heard from her, but I'm sure she'll get back to us. This is, thank you for the instrumental, let's odd von downberg stay a while. I am in a Charlotte. All those shows are sold out. Then I go to Omaha, Samseys, some tickets left for Breastballs Beach, Florida, the West

Palm Beach, Improv, 25th is nearly sold out, 24th has some tickets, 25 tickets remain for New Orleans for the third show, Boise we added a second show, Ball Sacramento, Fresno, Bakersfield, Jack me off Phil, Orlando, and a second show in Philadelphia, all on sale, Tom Segura dot com slash tour. That's what's up. There's a lot going on in this house, huh? I know, it really is a lot. Goodness, we got a new life coming pretty soon.

It is true. We're shooting things, we're doing stuff. There's a lot. All right, let's get this show on the road. Here we go, everybody. Here we go. So this would probably be my most popular service out of all the services I do and my most erotic service.

Let's discredit him, Shave. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone mother to this. Welcome, welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura, Tom Segura, and Christina Pajitse. Welcome to your mom's house. Happy birthday, big boy, is that who's on your shirt today? Yeah, rest in peace. B.I.G.

You'll be 46 today. Crazy. Wow. Think about how much that guy did and how much he ate. God. What? Terrible. He's really fat.

Amazing lyricist. The great Sam Tripoli snaps 46 big. Can you imagine that? Can't believe that. I mean, he was so good and all that was put out by like 23. Yeah, man. Because I feel like he died in 96. I want to say.

Yeah, it was like early. So he was fucking 24, 25. Yeah. What? It's crazy. I wouldn't even understand that power. I would flamethrow everything. I would only be able to play Reno because I burnt every bridge and like socks, man.

I have a whole new appreciation for fame and success at a really early age when I see. I couldn't understand it. 18, 19 year olds. Everybody be pregnant. Oh, my God. No, and I would have run through all the money, all of it, all of it, dude, all of it. 23. You've earned $30 million.

I'll be like, I forgot about 35. Yeah. I'd be Red Foxing it at like 24. Yeah. IRS becoming and grabbing white tigers out of my house. Did he spend like that? Oh, yeah. About you.

Oh, yeah. Tiger is a shit. Yeah. I don't know if he got tigers, but just buying crazy shit. Oh, that's so good. But he got his success later in life. I have a theory that black comedians go nuts. Okay.

Yeah. Let's save this theory. Okay. Later on. Later on. This is another example. So I go down that rabbit. By the way.

I'm going to hold it for later. Save it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Black comedians go crazy.

Go crazy. Okay. Okay. This is yet another example of guys acting like they're running a legit business. There's nothing sexual going on. There's nothing sexual. It's totally to get your dick hard. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. This is right there. Yeah. But what's that? Swing set. So are you hitting in? The most writing service. Does he use the same clippers on both parts?

Your head. And your asshole. I sure hope so. I'd be like, hey, can you use whatever you used to shave that guy's balls on my face right now for my beard? Oh my God. Did you want me naked for this? Obviously I'm the naked barber.

And he's just walking around? Yeah. You do? He's always ready to go. Look at that. I get a lot of guys that, some of the best bodies are not that well hung. They don't want to feel intimidated. So being an, what I would call an average bloke is probably a lot better.

You get your asshole bleach if you have nipple rings, am I right? Oh yeah. For sure. That a minimum. Oh wait, I missed what he said. Did he say that he considers himself average? Is that what he said? That guy's like in great shape.

Yeah. What does he say? Hung, they don't want to feel intimidated. So being an, what I would call an average bloke is probably a lot better than if I was some spunky model with steroid body and big dick. So oh, he's saying that he's average, which is, you know, like makes people feel at ease. When you're doing arse and genital waxing, you have to like add a beautician or anything. You have to get in these different areas.

Look at this. This is not what women do. Yeah. I've always imagined what you girls do. I just got waxed and I go, how do you do the butthole? Like is this, they put you in a swing and they just get in there. Here's the thing, heterosexual women who have the exact service done, they don't put you in a fuck swing.

They don't. And a leather daddy with a hat and a harness doesn't do this. Wearing a jockstrap. I'm just always amazed how the gay guys look so alike and it's like, you're just in fuck by yourself. Right? It's so weird. Yeah.

And they are, they look alike. And the truth is this dude called himself in average shape. He's an average shape for his world for a gay guy. He's sloppy. Right? Yeah. For us. It's like fucking workout.

Tom, right? Oh, he's coming up. This would be like a shredding body. I'd be like, Hey, a million dollars to have this. He'd be one of those dudes just always hanging out with a shirt off. You're like, fuck. Fucking a. Yeah.

Let's get some. And it actually makes me feel like shit that he called himself average looking. Yeah. Well, you know, my gay friend in Portland, he talks about all the time, he's like, you have such low standards women, straight women for heterosexual men. He's like, it would never fly in our community. You guys think is acceptable. And they're children of the corn, dude.

Once you like age out, you're like abandoned in the woods. No, no, not anymore. It's different up there because he's, he's aging and now there's a whole, there's a community for that, for like something, you know, overweight, what would bearded. Yeah. Some for everybody show up in your twenties or thirties and you're like, huh, dude, you're not working out. You're going to get, you're going to get crumbs if that's what you're into.

I wish you two were gay guys. So much. Respect. Yeah. Well, I just got a tattoo on my leg of my area code where I went because I'm Mexican trash, dude. Right. That's what Latinos do.

They love to put their area code. So I put it on, which is 607 and of course red band comes up who like is the mayor of like 4chan and reddit and he informed me that 607 basically means it's a gay term to shoot come in your asshole, but I'm cool with that too. You know, it's like, it's my hometown or you like to get weird either way I'm in really what that means. That's what he said to me and somebody sent it to me. I bet red bands.

If you look it up on like, uh, like urban dictionary, it's like, it's like fist pumping jizz or something like that. Red band does know all these things though, but he is when he's drunk, he comes with that devil smirk and you just know he's about to talk some mad shit. I love him so much. Yeah. Of course. Um, Tom, it's so funny.

That's so hilarious. Yeah. Again, this is not sexual. These are just a bunch of guys just who need a shave on their scrotum and there just happens to be a fuck swing and guys and harnesses and this is a very innocent. I find that the female equivalent of this is Instagram models who do like humble brags like they try to do funny pictures with their buttholes flapping. They're like, uh, just chilling like a villain and you're like, you see into their soul through

their asshole and it's just such a weird humble brag. Oh no. The worst is the Instagram girl who shows her tits or her ass and then she's like, and when people comment like nice tits or ass, she's like, stop objectifying me. Yeah. I'm trying to take a nice picture for myself when they call their fans, their fam. It's like, oh, by the way, your fam is beating off to you. Just to let you know uncle Sam's going knuckles up on it.

Right. Right. This is saying that it also means to give a blow job. Like would you want to sit so seven after school? It's so weird, right? I've never, it's just my hometown. You have to change it to 16.07 as well as a lifeguard code for a turd in the pool. I don't know.

I don't know. It's just, it's written upside down. It spells log. So. Hold on. At this very moment, Richard is shaving my balls on the end of my dick. It's going to make my dick look a bit bigger, which is always a nice thing. It's an amazing feeling.

It's just like, dude, it's not something that I would normally do myself. The sensation of having somebody else do it is the smell of blown out asshole. I've never experienced it. He's quite arousing. Yeah. Of course. It's a little bit arousing. Here's, I mean, hold on.

Hold on. This is, no. What's coming up here is you're going to be your friend. I always say like a lot of guys shave their own balls. I don't get the shape right. They usually go too high, stuff like that. The funny, like most things, I always find it's a lot nicer to have someone else do it for you.

You literally, his dick is like, is touching, tapping your ass on the time that he's shaving you. Like you really don't need to be naked doing the service, but you've just. Decide to jump in. There's 100% no reason to do this. Yeah. For the guy shaving. Hold on.

It's a lot nicer to have someone else do it for you than to do it yourself. Yeah. I guess a lot of women go in and get weekly blow drys. I get a few clients that come in for a weekly scrotum shave. Okay. What? Here's the part that we knew was coming up because this is always in everything like this.

Usually you find enough head straight guys. I've shaved straight guys balls before. Sure. Sure. Straight guys that are really comfortable. They know. Yeah. Man, everybody's got to work uniform.

Yeah. Do you think the straight guys know that they're secretly gay guys? Cause here's, here's a, I'll tell you a little secret. Those weren't straight guys. No. Okay. There's no such thing as a straight guy. They're there for you.

I think the kids growing up right now are all going to be bisexual. They've watched so much porn. The amount of dicks they've seen compared to their grandpa, like a couple in the army and the fucking showers. Yeah. Dicks for like mountains of dicks these young kids have seen. They're definitely totally comfortable with it probably. Yeah.

It's like, fuck it. Hit holes. Be weird. Get a six or seven. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, well, speaking of haircuts. Yeah.

Why don't you tell them about your haircut experience and how I helped you? Mother. Let's talk about it. Almost divorced me last week. So, oh yeah. By the way. Great guys. If you want to go see the naked barber, I don't know if it's info on where he is, but...

It's either New Zealand, it sounds like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He should sponsor the podcast. I know. The naked barber. His name is Dick Savvy.

Hmm. Yeah. Give a name. He's Christian. He enjoys. I enjoy watching other guys get off on it. That's where I know I've got a good business. But as far as it being my fetish, no.

No. You wouldn't want to pay. Is there enough... Getting off on shaving or waxing you? Because you're thinking he's getting off just as much as I'm getting off. Why am I paying for this? Yeah. Is there enough...

Like, where does he... Is there enough business to keep him open? Like, is he living with his mom and he's like, this is my art? Like, I mean, in Hollywood, there's so many gay. It's like the... It's the business of gay. This is mecca. Right.

For butt fucking, right? In San Francisco, New York. San Francisco isn't even close to this anymore. Is that you? That's me. Can I see the back? Is it still wrecked? Nah, it's fixed.

So, I shaved my own head. And by the way, a bunch of people were like, I didn't think you were cheap. Why are you... I was like, I didn't do it to be. It's not to save money. It was to save time. Yeah, I could stick all the fucking... Yeah, I was always going to get like a...

You could go to the gay barber, but... Well, I was always going to get this easy... You don't want to fly to New Zealand? Hair cut. So, you know, I used to get it like a little more shaped, but as I lost hair in the front, I'm like, I'll just throw clippers on and have this be done, you know? So, when I was shooting that movie, the hair guy, I told him, I was like, I really want to do this. I have some clippers.

What clippers should I get? He was like, these are the best clippers. Order these. And then he goes, you know, you'll learn how to do it. You kind of feel your head. And so, I order them. I start... I get the guards and I do my first pass, right?

So, I do it and then I go in to see Christina in the bedroom and I go, how did I do in the back? And she's like, oh, you missed like a strip up here. And I reached and I'm like, oh, yeah, I did. First of all, you... Go back in there. Hold on. Go back in there. Clean that up.

Try to then do my neck. And then I go back in and I'm like, how's it look? And she's like, looks great. And then the day that I do that, I go do two shows at the Comedy Store. I go out to dinner the next night. Then the following day, I walk into the gym and as I put my stuff in like this cubby, my trainer's standing, I hear him go, what the fuck? Your trainer?

Yeah. Yeah. He goes, what the fuck happened to your head? And I go, what? And he goes, dude. And he takes this picture. He's like, your neck is jacked, bro. And then I send her this picture.

What the fuck? You told me it looked good. I liked it. She's making you unfuckable. That's what she wants. She doesn't want anybody to look at that. Okay. Biana, may I present my side of the case?

Please. First of all, you came into the room. I was laying on the bed. It was nighttime. The room was dimly lit and you pointed, you go, how does my head look? And you pointed at the top of your head. I've never shaved my head. I don't know that neck lines or I don't fucking know.

I mean, how about the next few days after this? I didn't even look at that stuff. So I look, I said, oh, you've got a spot here. You didn't say, hey, is it, look at the bot. I don't know. I don't cut men's hair. I don't shave guys scrotums. I don't fucking know.

What do you think of this? It looks like a US jobs chart where it's like up and down, up, down, up, up, down. It's like rock bottom. Everybody's unemployed. You know, the worst part was about this day was that when he, the guy took the picture when I got to the gym to work out and, and at the beginning. And then the whole time, you know, when someone tells you something like that, you're like, I can't, I can't focus on this right now.

Yeah. He knows it. He's like, you want to go fix your neck right now. You're not in the zone. You go, you're not in the zone dog. You're not in the zone dog. And I go, I know, I just fucking, I go, I can't stop thinking about it. And he was like, go get your clippers.

I'll fix it for you. Oh, so he's a trainer slash hairstylist as well. Does he bleach your asshole too? He bleaches, he shaves, he does accounting. Okay, Baba. He does it all. But then I fixed it for you to be fair. You came home and you were so mad at me and I, I, I didn't know what I'd done wrong.

And so now my neckline is a midway through the top of the back of my head. Let's see it. Oh yeah, dude. I like that. I like that a lot. It's fine. I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Pretty soon the bottom will meet the top and they'll just be like, I was cursing her name. Weird ear horns on the side. I'm so mad at me, but I've never, I've never done that stuff for a day. All I'm saying is I can't see Meghan Markle doing that to Prince Harry. Let's talk about it. How many times have you guys watched the royal wedding where did you set your alarm? You did.

Yeah. Yeah. 4am. Oh, I just, you know that I wrote that. I tweeted that. Yes. And since I hashtagged it, you know, and that was a popular search term. I mean, hundreds of people were like, me too.

It's so beautiful. I was looking, it was all British people. Women love this. I loved it. I watched it. I'm not the whole 4 hours. I watched the highlights. But what I love best about Meghan Markle is that her family's trash like mine.

Yeah. Like her dad sold photos to the paparazzi. And then it was uninvited. And then it was uninvited. And then she's got like this derelict nephew who grows weed for a living, who named a strand of weed after her. She's like, thanks asshole. I love that she's in the royal family and she's just, she's got these horrible assholes

in her. I had a family member who was probably one of the top upstate New York meth cookers. He's doing four to five right now. Oh yeah. Four to five. Yeah. But he was known as the chemist. So I mean, we all have weirdness in our family.

This is a close relative. Oh yeah. He like tried to rock. He was my cousin's husband. He tried to rob a Walmart for Sudafed. Oh yeah. That's where you get it. That's what you do when you're a chemist.

I get that shit rocking. Yeah. I was in upstate New York. It is shady as shit. It's not, you know, everybody's like, I'm from the hood. I'm like, I'm from upstate New York, dude. It is ghetto country, dude. It is shady shit.

That's where the sex cult is from. The big sex cult that they're busing everybody right now. Albany, New York, right where I'm from. Upstate. Anywhere like a few hundred miles from the main city always has a sketchy as shit. Think about what's a couple hundred miles north of LA. That's some sketch ball. Oh, that's, yeah.

Yeah. Meth is time travel. Like you're in the middle of nowhere and you're like, I don't want to deal for the next week. Meth. And now it's fucking a week's gone by. And it's just, and then you drive to Vegas and there's just, it's weird out of nowhere. There's like a trailer in the middle of fucking nowhere. Yeah.

And you're like, you are on the run from some state. There's no reason to be in the middle of the desert right there. Oh, by the way, four stroke gang. Talk to me. What is this? The kids are talking about it. Yes. Hold on.

Let me pull it up for you. You had to ask. I want to get this right. You guys are the best. So you're going to love this, dude. Let me get this ready for you. Hold on. Hold on.

Okay. Is this the guy? I think this is the guy. If you've had any kind of erectile disorder problems, I'm here to tell you, forget that bag or forget about salads, forget that dick and plants and all that stuff. So I don't know if you believe me or not. Oh, God. If you like to see me smoke some meth with a small limp dick, then get harder and harder

and harder. The more I smoke, the harder my dick gets. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. So this guy. Have you heard of that before, Sammy? He's a time traveler.

Smoking meth is trying to waste a week. Yeah. Have you ever smoked meth in a major penis as hard as this guy's? Once in a while, like back when you do coke, there's someone will give you some coke. They're like, oh, this isn't coke. This is meth. And boom. Weak goes by.

So it's like, it does happen, but do the mill know where he's probably got nothing fucking going on? And is that the four stroke gang? Well, here. Okay. No. Yeah. Let me get you the four stroke.

Okay. It's amazing. People put this on film. Yeah. It's so amazing. Like this might come back and fuck it. He's high. Well, something actually happened with him.

And the fact that he put it on film because he put it on film and then we put it on film and then he was like, up. He took it off. Oh, did he hit you back on? Hey, dude. No, no, he just took, he removed his own. The mommies kind of found him and had their way with him. We had that file ripped.

You won't believe how good it feels if you're straight. You won't believe how good it feels. Your dick head becomes so sensitive that you don't need Lou, you don't need spit. You just stroke that dick head. So much going on here. Yeah. Sometimes it's just a bad dude. That's why.

And you will shoot an enormous amount of very thick, thick, hot white cum. Dude's got it on the brain, right? Yeah. That's all they think about. That's all they care about is cumming. Yeah. Why? It's just a testosterone, you guys.

It's all we care about. I know. It's choosing all day. It's pretty nuts. I mean, it is like, I think it's different for some people and I think if, I mean, it is like a constant thing, but if you are somebody who also has like, you know, what's it called? Drug problems or something. And then it's exacerbated.

Oh yeah, dude. The drug and sex addiction are like tag team champions. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. They like to get weird. Now it's your show taking a hit since they took down like the casual encounters on Craig's list.

Now you can't go get all those sweet looking for weirdness. Oh no, don't worry. We get the video sent to us. Oh, good. Good. No, no, there's plenty of that stuff. Don't worry about it. Yeah.

So the four stroke gang is an homage to this clip of this man saying that when he smokes meth that he can come in four strokes and also disgusting, right? I mean, would you wear or it's a super power? It could be one of the other. It could go either way. But Sammy, would you wear a shirt? It's not just him though that that came in four strokes. He also introduced this product to God damn it.

Why the fuck is this happening to me? Dude, your production value is amazing. If that's the worst thing that happens, it's pretty special. My brother didn't believe me. But when he smoked with me, put it in his dick, I can't believe how big his dick was. He jacked off in four strokes and shot the most coming he ever shot in his life. He's only 49 and he's fine and he has known to rock. Known to rock.

His dick is even harder and thicker and even more coming. He believes me now. Meth just gives you the fuck it's right. You're like, oh, you're my brother. You're going to stroke it. Fuck it. Have you ever jerked off with your brother and no math now? So the four stroke gang Christ from this.

And then we did do the, the four stroke gang shirt, which Christina thought we would sell five of. She's like, nobody wants it. I'm going to wear four stroke gang. You've already exed out half the audience. It's sold out. I had to reorder it. You are.

You two are the best at t-shirt. I don't under. Wow. You're amazing at it. Here's the thing. Here's another thing. No, no. So one of the things that happens is we did a golf inspired four stroke shirt because

you stroke. You don't want to put like Jack, your right, right, right, right. Don't. So what about a Cumbier rub, rub, rub, is that an exception? So we put that out there. We put the golf one out there. It went really well, but a lot of people were like, this should have been an engine, four stroke engines, motorcycles, four stroke.

So I went ahead and reordered also a four stroke engine shirt for all the motor heads. There is a four stroke engine. On top of that, I also have a four stroke hat coming. Oh. Yeah. It's all about getting high and jacking your cock. That's what we're all about. That's the best part.

So the grandma's house for Thanksgiving, you got a four stroke because I've been like, I'm upstate New York. We'll go to weddings and Jean short. So I'll wear a four stroke at a fucking holy ceremony. I'll do it. I love it. So let's see how many girls bite. Do you think they go knuckles up when they four stroke?

Oh, yeah. That's a little crazy. I have a joke about that. Like, okay. Sorry about that. I was on call for that topic. Okay. Put that on there.

Yeah. We'll read back the minutes later. We should corporate. We should get to this because Sammy's here. Yes. So tell us these guys. So everybody knows try it out. Obviously, try it out is one of the other classic to try it out at, oh, try it out.

And not only that, this Yanni Laurel debate that's been going on very similar to our debate of, Oh, right. I'm home right now. Yeah. Or a whole man out. Yeah. Yeah. Very similar to this.

Yeah. Well, this is what you hear. Yeah. A lot of people were debating. Some people still said 100% it's a, it's a whole man out. You know? Yeah. I think it's, I'm home.

I'm home here now. Home here now is what we thought it was. It's somebody beat me. A whole man out. Yeah. What are you here? Do you hear a whole man out? Do you hear a whole man out?

Hold me out. Hold me out. That's what some people see. I tried to create. So here's the, here's it in real time, like this somebody beat me a whole man out. Here's it isolated. Oh, this is my dream. Here's, here's it with like some breaks in between home yet now.

I think he's saying home here now, but he's so worked up on that home here now because he gave out his address before and he's like, if you're in the whole thing, I'm a home here now. Yeah. See home now. This is like ancient aliens. We're just solving mysteries, right? It is.

And he's like, if you're in the building, if you're in the building, you want a building one, come on, piss on me, piss on me right now. Yeah. Well, to the people listening, it's going to sound like we're just playing that again. But Sammy, two of your buddies, Tony, Tony, C E L A N O Solano. Yeah. I A N O. A C E L A N O.

Solano. Yes. Um, the horrible names and Eric Friedman, they, they're tomorrow's no buddies. This they, they, they write a bunch and they draw a bunch of animations. They're wonderful. Man. They sent this, try it out. They animated to try it out.

So hilarious. This is not the full thing, but just take a look at what they did here. Black guys would love to fuck and fuck. Deal, man. I mean, I need to be fucked. You're a black guy. You want to fuck men from jail homeless or your thug want to come move in. Your friend can move you, man.

Free food, free rent to get a lease on a key, but you got to fuck me. You want to come over today and try it out, try it out, man. If you're in my building, try it out. You want to fuck a piss on me, beat me, try it out. It's like, only as fuck, man. I'm looking for hardcore guys that mean it. Want to do it. I'm a hot white trash.

Come down for the fuck. Amazing. Amazing. It's so good. It's poetry. If you, um, if you're listening right now, you have to see this. Go to the YouTube page and we'll, uh, we'll put it on the YouTube channel. Um, your mom's house.

It's, it's really, really exceptional. Um, also you guys inspire art. Well, we, you know, the other thing is we've been soliciting, um, people to do their own try it out videos. Okay. Um, so, uh, people have been submitting. I love this. Black guys who love to fuck and fuck good.

So dark. If you're a hot black guy and you want to fuck me at 23. He's got it. You got to fuck me. Fucked a lot. He does look like a good fuck. Man, everything else, man. Here's the deal, man.

He's nailing it. He nailed it. That's a great cold ring, bro. Yeah. He would nail the roll. Yeah. You get a callback for sure. James, you would get a callback.

This guy looks like he needs dick or he'll die. We were asking for, we were like, oh, so far last week, we had a bunch of submissions all men. And I was like, are any women going to submit? Are the women? Black guys who like to fucking fuck good. You're a hot black guy and you want to fuck me at 23. If you want to move in, you can move in.

She did it. She did it. I need to be fucked a lot, man. She's good. She's got the creeper eyes. By the way, I'm big on the teeth. I'm a big teeth man. Yeah.

And the space is sexy as shit. You like that? I do. Belladonna teeth? I'm in. Right. Get a listen to Keith. Fuck.

Piss on me. Beat me. Home man out. She said home man out. You know what I like about her? That's faith, by the way. I've got faith and faith. Here's why she nailed it.

She did the breaths. She even got it down to the, like his frantic breathing. That's really good work. Well, obviously her acting classes have started to pay off. So far, James and Faith are both getting called back. Callin' it. Great lighting. Guys that love to fucking fuck good.

You're hot black guy and you love to fuck me at 2395. If you want to move in, you can move in. She's got the wrapping paper in the background. I need to be fucked man. She's got a map. Free food, free rent, free everything else, man. It's Jetta. Men from jail, homeless.

She looks like she's in a crack house. So I'm down with this. She's doing great. She's got the, what is that? Something, she's holding something as a mustache. What is that? I don't know. I can't tell.

She does a great job. It's really, really good. Your friend can move in too, man. Fuck me. Piss me. Beat on me. I'm home right now. If you want to come see me, come over.

Come over. Great. Love it. Here's Ashley. My guys love to fucking fuck good. If you're hot black guy, you want to fuck me at 2395. If you want to move in, you can move in. But you gotta fuck me.

I need to be fucked a lot. Free rent, free food and everything else, man. Here's the deal, man. If you're in from jail, you're homeless. You're a thug. You want to move in, your friend can move too. Free rent, free rent. At least in a key.

Fuck me. Piss on me. Beat me. I'm home right now. If you want to come over today. Try it out. Try it out. You're in my building.

Try it out. You want to fucking piss on me. Try it out. I'm looking for guys who mean it and want to do it. I want to deliver it. I'm a hot white guy. I'm trash. I'm dumb.

Fuck. Let's fuck. Wow. I gotta tell you. I'm blown away. I mean, honestly. Thad's Beans. Yeah.

Ashley, the manic energy. Energy. With which she delivered that. Poof. You always got to make the role yours. Yeah. And that's what I saw with these people. They went a little deeper than just a Craigslist creepy fuck.

They go, what is this person's backstory? What was high school like for this person? God. What was the relationship to their father? Did the father like to fuck and fuck now? Fuck hard? Come over and fuck hard, you know? I mean, it was a different interpretation.

Yeah, it was. Yet it worked because the energy, the frenetic energy. The anxiety was there. I felt it. I felt it. Couple more females. I can see her like in a fuck me, fuck me now on ice. Like if they did an ice version of that.

I could definitely see that happening. She could kill that. You might actually send her out first. Yeah. Let's get the show started with that. Let's get it going. Actually, go out there. Guys.

Turn to the whole arena. You want to fuck? God damn. Oh, shit. Fucking fuck good. You're hot. That guy, you want to fuck me at 2395? You want to move in, you can move in.

But you got to fuck me. Oh. She took her shirt off. She's added something here. She's added it. That's right. This is like a Cinemax version. Everything else, man.

And here's the deal, man. Man from jail, homeless, or worth it. Want to come move in? Your friend's moving two men. This is really good. This is Kelsey. She also. She committed.

She did a, I feel like a commitment to a different drug. In other words, this feels more sedated. Okay. Like Sativa. But maybe Sativa, maybe like a real, I don't know, more excessive, more powerful downer. But the eyes. Like a black tar? Yeah.

Like more of a black tar feel. I got that. Some opium. Yeah. I feel like the eyes are really selling it for me. Yes. And I love the mustache, obviously. Her pacing is very slow and deliberate.

Off detail also. Fantastic. Yeah. You know, when you do these auditions and you, you submit these things, it's all about details. Cause God's in the details. And if you're a black guy who likes to fuck and like to fuck hard, you know, I got to feel that in your video. Yeah.

That's true. That's true. I got to feel it. I got to feel it. And it's also a brave choice. And I'm a bog. What the fuck? Black guys who love to fucking fuck good.

That's good. Unbelievable. She's got the posturing. Perfect. And the bow. When you can move in, but you've got to fuck me. All right. I need, I need to be fucked a lot.

You know, I feel like this is like backstage at a Larry the Cable Guy concert. We're like, we're like backstage. He's just a dude. And then the Larry the Cable Guy eyes come in and now he's the character. And that's what I felt. Yeah. She did something amazing. She started the show.

She started her clip by saying she's Peyton Lafferty, who is another go-to from the show. Hi. I'm Sierra Sin. Oh, sorry. I'm Peyton Lafferty and I'm a ball hog. So she did that. Oh shit.

And then she went into the primary. Two characters. That's very hard. And she actually switched person. She went, she went from like, hi. Yeah. And then she's doing this really well. Talent.

I think she's acted. And, and you know what I like? Her posture is exactly his. Yes. She even got the bow, the attention to detail. Yeah. I wonder how much she paid for like a lighting crew to light this scene for her. Oh, and, and the lighting went from like well lit to like dimmer.

To crappy. Yeah. Very good. Edward. Everything else. It's competitive. Oh, it's competitive. It is.

And if you don't put the time and effort in, you're not going to make the show. This is Kristin. This chick's great. Man from jail, homeless. Great. She's obviously Armenian. She's a woman with a mustache. So those are my people.

The accent. That's my mom. Mom. She's, she's very good at mimicking. I think. Very good. This is very close. Very good.

She's moving. Franca moving too, man. She's got the accent. Get a lease and a key. Fuck me. Pissle me. Beat me. A whole man out.

Home. A whole man out. See now. Try it out. Try it out, man. If you're in my building, try it out. You want to fucking pissle me? Try it out.

You've literally gone through more lists, female listeners and all my podcasts. See, now here's the thing with, as with the Yanni Laurel, I'm now, I'm hearing home man out. Of course. It's like it goes back and forth. Your brain is primed. That's why. We're just living assimilation, man.

Yeah. Black guys who love to fuck and fuck good. If you're a hot black guy and you want to fuck me in 2395, if you want to move in, you can move in. 235? But you've got to fuck me. I need to be fucked a lot. This is like the Guy Ritchie version of it, you know?

Can I tell you something? All I keep thinking about is like just this video getting out there on its own with obviously no context and the guys watching this being like, we have got to find this chick. This is Lauren because this is exactly the video I've wanted to see my whole life. Yes. Like a woman who's like, guys who want to fuck, I'm down. Do you want to piss on me? Oh yeah.

And are you? There's no one more magical than British black guys. Like Guy Ritchie films, they have all the answers. Yep. Whatever you don't know about life, they fill it in. It's so much better. Oh my God. She actually reminds me of Glen Appeltro doing a British accent.

Like she's got that refinement to her. It's very clean and crisp. Yes. It's a Shakespeare in love version. Yes. What better way to honor the royal wedding than to put something out there like this. Want to get peed on by black guys. Men from jail, homelands.

Jail. Jail sounds like a wonderful place where she's from. Your friend can move in too. Free rent, you get a lease and a key. She goes, uh, like casual. Piss on me, beat me. I'm home right now. Have you guys ever been peed on?

And you want to come out? No. I have. Of course you have, Sammy. It's great. Have you gone to adult corn before? Stop. I'm going to give birth right now.

I can't laugh anymore. Please let's do it. Let's do it. I got peed on by Miley Cyrus' stunt double. Of course you did. What? So, so, uh, do you remember the British, the, uh, the, uh, uh, American music awards? It was many moons ago and, uh, Miley Cyrus is dancing on stage and then she runs down

the aisle and then the camera turns and Miley is sitting there in her seat. Well, that girl who runs down the thing peed on me one time. Uh, we were at the comedy store and you at the store. Well, she tried. It got like this weird, like deer hunter fucking thing went on. What? Was she hammered? She wasn't.

She just somebody, she somehow brought up peeing and she's like, I'll pee on you. And then it got really weird and everybody's laying money down. So then we're all in the back and nothing happened. Where, where, where were you when you got peed on? I was in the shower of the green room of the main room. Okay. And then she's like, oh, I really want to pee on you. I'm like, well, let's go back to my place.

You could pee on me. So we go back to my place and I, I, you know, I take the shop. She peed on me. It's wonderful. And then I get up and she starts putting on her clothes and I'm like, what are you doing, dude? Like, are you putting it? Why are you putting it?

She's like, we're going to have sex. I'm like, I'm not a porta potty. You know what I'm saying? Like, I like, yeah. So I actually do enjoy it. Oh, so you, and then you, you told her, yes. And then she's like, oh, okay. I will have sex with you.

Yeah. And then did you smell like her? Like what, did her pee smell a lot? I showered after. I'm not a scumbag, but I did. I'm not against it. Wait, after she peed on you, you showered and then you had sex. No.

Or you had sex after peeing on you. Can you take me? I look, I'm sorry to ask a lot of details, but can you take me through? Yeah, me too. Let's talk about it. Where did you laid at? Were you laying your bathtub? Yes.

Okay. And then does she squat over you? Yes. And like. Facing you? No, she, uh, no. Facing away. She was that?

Yeah. Assholes towards my face. Okay. And like very close or like, you know, far up. I know she wasn't like right here. She's like here. Like, you know, I was in the tub. There's a tub.

She's on head, foot on both sides holding boom. Okay. And then yeah, Pete. And it's not that bad. And then she like, um, I like it. Is she laughing during it? She's just like, you know, she's happy. Yeah, she's happy.

She achieved something. And did Annie get in your. Naked in the tub? What? Naked in the tub? I had my, I think I was naked actually because I was in the tub. It was going to get all over the place. That's what I thought.

So did it get in your mouth? No. It was more in my chest, but I wouldn't be against that. Yeah. You didn't mind the tick because it didn't smell strong. No. Yeah. No, but it was actually, yeah.

I mean, it doesn't sound like peeing on people is like not. I think drinking. It was. It was like a shower. Yeah. Gold. Gold.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, dude, I guess like I'm just a weirdo. No, I can see how it's pleasurable. What about eating poop though? I don't eat poop. I don't, but I love eating, but, but I don't like poop. Yeah. Okay.

Make sure. No. Do you make sure the booty's clean though? Yeah, you got to. I do a quick look and I just, you know, I just get in there like a champion. You eye it out first. And then I finger blast, which is like, I call it the avatar. When they sync up with the flying animal and now they're soul mates.

That's why back in the day, this was young. Tripoli. Now I just want to sleep. Sure. Sure. Sure. Yeah. Wait.

So have you ever had anyone take a shit on you? No, that will never happen. That's just not my thing. It's too. McAfee. Is that his name? Yeah. John McAfee.

McAfee. Oh, he's into that. Yeah. In his mouth. Oh, really? Oh, it's just not my thing, dude. No. I can't even entertain it.

I don't know how you keep from vomiting. Really? Oh, dude, the smell of like fresh human shit. Oh, just get me out of here. I was watching. I laughed, by the way, we were talking about women's bathrooms versus men's. And she was saying how like women, you know, will like squeeze their butts on the. They won't fart a lot.

And I was in LAX yesterday and I walked in there and was like. Oh, guys just like, and then you get almost embarrassed. Oh, so you're like, oh, sorry. Yeah. You know, it's like a symphony out of your asshole. It really is. And like those bathrooms are wrecked, man. LAX.

I just feel like women's poop doesn't smell as bad as guys. That's right. It's completely, completely wrong. It smells horrendous. It's the same thing. It's shit. Shit is shit. We eat the same things.

Right. But do you spray after? Because back in the day when I worked at the store, the best place to meet chicks were sitting next to the women's bathroom. And then it came out. It was never like, I was never like. It's not that. It's not that this shit doesn't stink.

It's that we don't shit at the comedy store. Women are more weary of shitting in public is what I'm saying. That it's the fear of embarrassment and of the smell. So we'll shit here at home, but not out in public. You guys are just animals. We are scumbags. Yeah. Yeah.

So disgusting. We're knuckle draggers. Oh, for sure. Are you guys kinky? Are you guys a kinky couple? Yeah. Are you guys just like Mormon eyeball four stroke gang? Yeah, pretty much.

No, I'm not that. I'm definitely less strokes than I used to be. I just feel like sex is like two stroke. People talk a big game. They talk like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. And then just at the end, it's like, bump, bump, dump, go to sleep. Right.

You're married. And then that's part of the married thing too is like, you know, you have your, your big tricks and performance when you're, when you're starting out. You show, you like the first time dude throws out all the tricks, right? Got to get repeat business. Got to get her to come back for another Starbucks coffee. So you throw all the good shit in, right? All of it.

Yeah, man. From there it's slowly. And then you have like, you have, you know, your performance face on. So you're like, you're like, what is your performance? It's like, you're like, you're like intense and you're like flip, flip. You're doing positions and you're like, yeah, this is what I do. Tom, do you fuck with your eyes open or closed? Or do you concentrate?

Or are you just like staring to her soul? What is it? Are you just like, well right now I'm seven months pregnant. So there's a limited thing. There's not a lot you can do at this point. That's true. You know what I mean? Like it's side meat time.

Side meat. No, no, not doggy style. No, I can't. We tried last pregnancy. Remember, and I couldn't stay up. I was too heavy. It's too heavy. It's like regular when there's no, when there's no thing.

I don't know. I'm not like, yeah, put her in the gay barber swing dog. I put her in the, I try to call her all the time. Try it now. Try it now. Try it now. Try it. Let's finish Lauren though.

I love her accent. Yeah, she's doing great. It's a day and try it out. Try it out then. This is like Peter Pan trying to fucking try it out to black guys. I love it. If you're in my building, try it out. You want to fucking piss on me?

Try it out. Serious replies only. Just fuck me. I'm looking for hardcore guys and mean it and want to do it. And I want it delivered. I'm a hot white trash come done. That's fantastic. Shakespeare.

And also it was a different, she made it her own. Yes. She, she really, you know, did her own thing. I always tell people that when it comes to the industry, they don't know what they want. No. These people let you know what they want. And therefore you know what you want through what they want. As the director, I would right now be talking to my producers like, I really like what Lauren did.

It was different. Yeah. It was entertaining. It caught my eye. It caught my eye. Do you know that European women come to America to get drilled by like black guys? Like they try, they come here. Let's table this one too.

Okay. Put that down. No talking about black men. Here's the last try it out. It's not, it's not a, it's not a monologue. There's black guys in Europe. What are you talking about? Yeah, but they want like fucking American black.

Okay. Okay. They also spend their money. They want too short. American comedians, they spend their money. They go crazy when they're young. Hold on. Hold on.

Are you ready for this? You're not ready for this. Theories with tripling. Okay. Hold on. Okay. What is it? Somebody submitted a tried out song.

Oh, great. Good. Good. Black guys. Who love to fuck and fuck good. If you're hot black guy and you want to fuck me at 23.95,. She can sing. Yeah.

Really well. That's great, Amanda. If you want to move in, you can move in. I mean, I'm just blown away by the talent. Always with our show. I need to be a fashion love man. Geez. She's quite a voice.

Great. Everything else, man. Man. Here's the deal, man. Man from jail, homeless or um. If you want to come move in, your friend can move in. Man, I love it. So good, dude.

So good. Talent. Florence and the machine. That's what I'm sensing right now. This on me. Oh, man. This could be a song. This also looks like somewhat of a hostage situation as well.

You know what I can see? Like Fiona Apple doing torture. Like my ex-boyfriend's a piece of shit. Like that kind of. Break me off. Break me off inside. What was that band from like the early 2000s? They were big and then they just went away.

Like Dido or something. Like this is one of those break up songs. I love it. I don't know who your guitar player is, Amanda, but amazing voice and really, really interesting, a beautiful rendition of this. And I love the background. She paid attention to the lighting, the details. Imagine if I tried out guy.

How can you get these to him and let him know like he's inspired so much art. Oh my God. That would be a dream is to see, to have a camera on him. No. Showing him. Now what if this just took off and then like 20 years later, he's just like everybody walks home. Hey dude, I tried it out.

I don't give a... I met the guy like, what was the Charmin? They don't squeeze the Charmin. Oh yeah. And I remember seeing him and I go, hey dude, I don't squeeze the Charmin. He goes, I don't give a fuck what you do with the Charmin. Okay. You think I give a fuck?

And I'm like, oh dude, you must hear this all the time. So angry. You and he would hear that all the time if you were that guy. Oh, I don't give a... I try it out. You can try it out and shove it up your ass. Why don't you 607 that shit? Yeah, exactly.

Ever since you introduced Hot White Methcom guy into your clip, Lexicon, I no longer enjoy any type of self-pleasure. Now that vision of Mr. Meth and his voice haunts my spank bank. Never again will I be alone with my thoughts haunting neuropathy. In closing, you're awesome. Keep up the good work. Come to Pensacola, talk trash about Cajuns. We love you.

Cheers, Taylor. Yeah, I mean... Neuropathy. I've been thinking about that guy and I also think about tried out guy whenever anybody says, why don't you try this out? I know. It's ruined. Yeah.

Try it out. Try it out. Did you see... You saw the video of the lady in the Tim Hortons? Oh, no. Oh, my fuck. We got to talk about this. But let me remind you that we have a dental update coming up soon.

Oh, yeah, yeah. We do have to get that ready. And... This should be on TV. You guys should have this show on television. I don't know. I'd watch it. Coca-Cola or General Electric.

Dude, showtime this shit. Try it out. Try it out. Showtime. Try it out. Showtime. Show... HBO.

This would be perfect. Netflix. Netflix for sure. Try it out. Try it out. Yeah, what's up, Netflix? I know. Wait, so what was I about to tell you?

Your guy shows Tim Horton. Tim Horton thing. Holy mackerel. Oh, my God. Now, this video went a tad viral, at least in our world. I had friends sending this. Like, do you just get inundated with... Like, you guys are somewhat the world star hip-hop of podcasting.

Yeah, you're right. Like, you get sent the best of the best. We do. We do. We're so lucky. We're so lucky. Our fans really do. How old is this podcast?

Eight years. Eight years, and it's just humming with greatness. Yeah. If that's better and better, I think the clips are getting better. Yeah. The world is so... That's why you guys are doing so well, because you feel so good about where you are in life, compared to, like, what's going on out there in the world.

You're like, oh, dude, we're not trying it out. Trying it out. Yeah, yeah. We're definitely ahead of the try-it-out. Yeah. Man. You got options. Before I forget, tell me.

I don't want to forget until too late in the show. Where can people see you coming up? Well, I'm very excited that Live Nation and All Things Comedy is producing the Tim Foyle comedy night at Cobbs June 1st. Oh, that's great. Myself Eddie Bravo, Tres Mala, Off The Grid Ryan, and then we're going to be in Sacramento June 2nd. There are one shows each, and I'm super, I'm excited, man.

Oh, go see Sammy Live. He's one of the best. Talk about lizard people, weirdness like that. I love it. QAnonymous. It's going to be... I'm really excited about it. So you'll have the table up there, right?

And the... We're going to do Stand Up. Okay. We're going to do a Q&A at the... Oh, that's... So you're getting double trouble. Yeah. Bam.

What a girl. You know what? There's one thing that's so great about when you do a one-show night somewhere where it just breathes easy, and people know that we're going to settle in till it's just for us. Yeah. I love the one-show nights. The show's been... Tim Foyle has been killing it lately, man.

It's been a lot of fun. I've learned a lot about the world, and it's... I just enjoy it. Good, man. It's perfect for you, too. It's perfect. Sam Tripoli is such a fantastic standup comic. If you want to see him, he's also on my show May 31st at the comedy store in the Belly Room,

the 8 o'clock show. I'm so excited. It's such a small show. I'm running my Netflix set for the Vegas shoot in June 4th, and you're going to get to see Sam Tripoli as well. There you go. So come try it out. And you did my dojo room.

I did so much fun. You got to do it. The comedy dojo. Yeah. You do it a few nights a week. It runs every night. Every night in Los Angeles at the Sycamore Tavern in Hollywood. Yeah.

It's just a comedy show. Drinks, right? Yeah. Free parking. The parking's excellent. And you can work it out. That's really what I created the room for. It's just somewhere like you don't have to follow like monsters, and you can just try

to work something out. Yeah. It's a great room. I'm excited. And Sammy shot his new special. That's right. Yeah. Viper room.

Editing it right now. I'm super excited about it. I'm going to edit it as one piece and then also break it into two pieces, like two 45s. Wow. Look at you. You're going to miss jokes at the end that I forgot to do, that I just want to add to it. Are you shopping at home for it right now?

Well, once it's edited, all things comedy wants to bring it out. So I'm cool wherever it goes. If it goes somewhere cool or I put out myself, I'm just kind of, I just want to start creating shit and throw it out. You don't care. That's the way to do it. People are going to love it when they see it. I'm a crazy person.

I like just, I like to just do my own thing. You know what I like about Sam is that you really don't give a fuck. I feel like, especially in this era of people being censored and afraid to say things, it's so important to have comedians like you out there, really try, you know what I'm saying? Like really keeping it real and being, and hardcore guys who want to fucking fuck good. Yeah. I want to fuck.

I want to fuck good. I want to fuck now. And I just feel that it's just like, you know, my career is what it is. I don't really care to do the Hollywood thing anymore. Don't get me wrong. If they offered it, I'd probably do it, but I just feel like we have so many comedians selling each other out and just letting like just joining this mob and I just feel like comedians have to be able to fail and say provocative shit and just go for it and not

be like black ball. I just don't get this world of like black ball in comics because you didn't like a joke. And I think we let the meek pick the rules. I feel like political correctness is like letting the, the fat kid who gets picked last and kickball make the rules of the playground. It makes no sense to me. If you don't like the joke, wait, leave, do whatever you want, but she like, dude, stop telling people what they can especially comics who are like, oh, dude,

that's just, you shouldn't say that. Why would you ever want to limit yourself? Why? I don't get it. No, it's ridiculous. No, I know. And it's it is heartbreaking when it's comedians that are policing. What are you doing? It's these beta cuck these beta cucks, dude.

I love it. The beta males, the beta cucks. What they're trying to do is outrage themselves through their dreams. That's really what they're trying to do. They're trying to get rid of everybody that they're threatened by so they can just walk right into their dreams. They don't realize that everybody's got dreams and you want to make your dreams. You got to take someone else's dreams and like it's not going to be easy like that.

Those are some wise words from Sam Tripoli right there. It's very true. A lot of people are they rail against people they feel threatened by. Absolutely. This business for sure. The powerful, the winners. Yeah, they want to drag down. My friend just got in trouble for this fucking tweet and it's just like it's like

he said that like a single white males with a new N word. It's a bad joke. It's it's not a good joke, but he's like he's got black ball from this club. And guess who's yelling at him? White beta cucks. That's who's yelling. It's not black guys or black women going crazy. Beta cucks.

That's the next shirt, Tom. Beta cucks. I love beta cucks. That's great. That's got to be your next shirt, Sammy. You should. Beta cucks. I'm going to go.

I mean, just go. I'm so tired of it, of these meek. And then you got, you know, all these male feminists who in Hollywood, we find out are all the ones doing all the raping. Yeah, right? Yes, yes. It's not the knuckle draggers. Yeah, no, it's not the saddle ranch bartenders that are doing all this shit.

That's right. It's the ones with the big mouthpiece that they're so fucking. Look at Cosby telling everybody how to live. What a scumbag dad. He's the most evil of the fucking all of them. I know. Matt Lauer, that fucking homo, too. I mean, come on and he's like, oh, Matt Lauer is looking to make a comeback.

Come back from a fucking basically a rape button. Like he had a rape button in his. Nobody wants to come back from any of those. No, nobody gives a who wants it and see Chris, too. That fucking ass kisser. Well, he didn't get he didn't get checked at all. No, none. You know why?

Because the Me Too movement ended up taking out their own people. Do you know what I'm saying? They thought it was going to lead to like taking out all these politicians. And he just ended up taking out everybody at the Golden Globes. They're like, whoa, then it just started ruining brands. So they're like, OK, we got it. Just stop what nobody's getting harassed anymore. No, no, I think, by the way, I think that that tweet, though, that that Josh,

then yeah, was really just it was just I think he was trying to make a point that he didn't word correctly at all. Right. And that that's where I mean, that's just why people flipped out. We got to be able to, you know, you got to be able to fail. And and like, you know, and it's just like this notion that he's like trying to bring back like Alabama in the 1950s. It's just ridiculous. And it's just white people going crazy on other white people.

Remember that woman that sent a tweet as she was flying to Africa? She was like, flying Africa. I hope I don't get AIDS, LOL. And by the time she landed, yeah, she had been fired from her job. Twitter blown her up and she like her life was ruined in a matter of hours from like a dumb joke that she kind of thought like it's off color. It's not great. It's just a thought.

Twitter supposed to be like math throwaway and her life is ruined. It doesn't work like that anymore. No, I mean, yeah, now it's like you. You know, that's the other thing about things written that stay there because you can read it over and you know they found tweets from him from 2008. Yeah, from who for who for Josh Denny. They went back to 2008. Here's the thing, man, entertainers, they're crazy people.

And they like crazy weird shit. And if you if you make it so we can't be crazy weird, you're just going to get liars. Yeah. And the whole point of comedy is like to be as honest as you can on stage. Well, when you pull up old tweets from any comic, you're going to find a wasteland because that's how jokes are written. You write the thing. Normally, it's not publicly.

And then, you know, if you go through most comedians joke books, you'd be like, oh, my God, yeah. Because you take swings and you're like, I missed the mark on this. This is horribly offensive because really like great jokes are usually like on the line. It's like you find the line and you dance on the line. If you don't get to do that, you, you know, then you just never write you. What ends up happening is you go over the line a lot when you're trying to figure something out, right?

And then you go, that's too much. So people don't laugh and you have to pull back. But you have to be able to try to figure out the line. You have to be able to fail. And like, you can't tell me to celebrate our diversity and then tell me, I can't comment on it. You know what I'm saying? It's like Dave Chappelle is one of the funniest dudes ever.

The first 30 minutes are like the first 50 minutes of one of the special on Netflix, all rape jokes. Yeah. But where's the outrage on that? And I love Dave Chappelle. And I don't know. He got it. He got it. Yeah. But it wasn't like the fucking murder you've seen people go after. And then that whole thing with a Donald Glover video where he's like shooting

people and like white people were love telling everybody what that video was about. But two weeks later that Jay Feely takes a picture of his daughter going to the prom with a gun and everybody loses their skull. And it's just like, what are you doing, man? You make it really hard for when real shit hits the fan to anybody to give a shit. Well, the part of what's going on is that everybody has a voice now. That's what social media has allowed. It's given everybody a platform, so it makes people feel powerful.

They get to express that rage. And when a lot of them get together, you know, it seems like a movement. Yeah, but it only but it only matters if they can affect the money behind whatever is happening. So if they can rally your employer, the general electric, whatever is sponsoring this thing or that, then it matters. It doesn't fuck a matter unless it's going to affect the revenue stream. Tied to it. It's always money.

Yeah, I don't like who I don't like when anybody from and I'm saying any side of the aisle, any ideology gets their ability to work destroyed from their jokes or you know, I mean, like when when when somebody makes a joke and then people are like start attacking. Yeah, their ability to make a living. It's like, what is the point of that? Yeah, I think that's I think that's a very misplaced anger. And it's just like what you're trying to do is make the bad man go away.

And that's not life. That's just not life. Well, I would argue that that's the problem with the Me Too movement is that the bad men just don't go away, sweeties. It doesn't just go away. So we need to have a discussion about the gray areas, not just the black and the white. You can't just shun, right? We want to throw them in a fire pit and blow up all the rapists and the pedophiles.

They're still going to fucking exist. So what do we do now? Yeah, there is a there is something about Hollywood that is no different than Washington, D.C. and and and Wall Street. And, you know, if you're lucky to make it through a medium, like you guys were able to create this amazing medium of this podcast that which took you to these certain levels that you didn't necessarily have to go through that, you know, auditioning all this shit to get through that almost takes

a psychopath level of dedication, craziness. So when you get there, you are a psychopath. It is no different than Wolf Wall Street shit. True. Like the people you meet at the high side, they they just they're just crazy. It's sheer force of will. I mean, yeah, of course. So then they get there.

And of course they're going to want to scorch the earth. Yeah. Right. And a lot of these guys like couldn't get any couldn't get laid in high school. So everything they learned about women, they learned by watching Japanese anime porn, right? So they think girls like octopus tentacles all in fucking places. And it's just like no wonder they're psychopaths. All right, let's go to the next topic.

Sammy, here is here's working. Now, there's no audio because this is from a security camera. Oh, right. That's why this lady is at the I'm a crazy person. You're you're the best guess ever. So look how this woman is really animated yelling at the employee. It's in Canada, right? Yeah, at Tim Hortons. That's like they're Duncan Donuts, right?

And she's yelling him yelling, yelling, yelling. My God. Oh, my God. Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait. Describe what you're seeing. So so yeah, we people listening.

This lady was extremely, extremely animated, clearly yelling at the man behind the counter at this Tim Hortons. OK, she she then runs over or excuse me, walks over to the napkin dispenser, grabs napkins, keeps yelling at him. You can basically put together that he is. He's very calmly and politely saying he's Canadian. Yes, he's very Canadian, like saying you have to leave. She keeps yelling, takes the sweater that is wrapped around her waist off,

drops her pants, leans against the wall and takes a big shit. Like my dad type shit. Like, and by the way, Christina, you're totally right. Women drop the hot deuce, too. I mean, this is like it's hell. Just came out of her. I mean, you know how you get sometimes juiced up and the adrenaline rush and then like you have to even take like post-dump comedy shits.

Oh, yeah. Post comedy dumps. This like she had one on deck. We have to say that what's happening is that she probably has to use a restroom, right? Oh, I don't know. As they say, as they say, washroom. The wash closet and in Canada. But you have a customers only probably. I mean, that's what I assume when I saw it the first time.

Yeah. But then again, the fact that it's Canada makes me think differently. I don't know. I just felt like, well, it depends on where you are. The big problem in Hollywood is that nobody, they really don't like using public bathrooms because people go in there and do drugs and then they don't open the door for fucking ever. Yeah. So that's why they like Starbucks forever. I remember being, by the way, a new comic, Sam Tripoli got me into it and trying to, trying to work out bits in one of my like old school bits.

They never went. You know, one of those you kind of threw out there was about trying to use a public restroom in Hollywood. It's so hard. And also it feels inhumane, right? That you can go like, hey, I need to. I'm a human being and I need to pee right now. Yeah. And they're like, you can go somewhere else. You can't go here. Not here.

No, no, no public bathrooms. Your your place to sell liquor, like a coffee or coffee for all things. Wait, this is the United States of America. And I can't go pee right now. Drop a deuce. Yeah. I have to go and they're like, well, it's not for you. Oh, yeah. It's really interesting that you built a narrative like that. I just thought she was fired up about something else.

She's a crazy person. You might be right. You might be right. This was a meth train. Yeah. And this was her way of retaliating and being like, fuck you, dude. I want Sammy to take the call from here. So I'm going to start playing clip number two of this, which picks up right here. You go ahead and describe what you see. OK, OK, here we go. So so then she, oh, my God, she she zoom monkeys it.

She grab by the way, the whole poop, the poop is gone. I just realized that there's no poop left on that floor. She literally cleaned it up for him. She grabbed it and that poop stayed hard, which means it hard and quick, which makes me think five. It's some X-Men shit going on like her superpowers that she drops deuces places. And she uses as a weapon. She dropped there's no poop on the floor,

which this guy who's drinking his coffee is like, thank God, right? Yeah, he sits there. Wouldn't you get up? I don't think he knows what's going on because of that wall. He knows there's some action going on. But Sammy, she picked up her shit and it's gone. She threw it at the guy like a boomerang style. Then she wiped her ass and through that paper at the guy, too.

Man, she just really hates this coffee. That's what this has got to be. She wants Starbucks. There's only got Tim Hortons. I really wish there was audio. If anybody has the audio file, I bet it's just good security. I would just love to hear that poop hit again. She got some solid loaves.

I've, dude, I was blown away. That whole poop stayed together. It did. It was like a five, a perfect five. Does that mean she's healthy? Yes. If you're poop. So this is obviously not a drug addict. This might be like a crossfit lady who just wanted to drop a dude. So they're like, oh, sorry, it's for customers only.

OK, she's like, oh, really? Boom. Eat my fucking way. Check this out. What? I just pulled this up. Oh, audio. No. Well, she has on first of all, she has on athletic pants, like Pilates pants. And then the thing I think she's like a mom who came from Pilates.

Tell people what it says. Angry. It says we finally know why the angry Tim Hortons pooper pooped for the love of God. Just let people use your bathroom. In recent days, this has become deep in the bowels of a mystery. Why did the woman take a dump in British Columbia? Tim Hortons, if you haven't heard about this, congratulations. This is on the.

My only question is, is how soon to she's headlining improvs? She then grabbed napkins. Yes, picked up her log here. We have the answer. It turns out that Timmy's employees wouldn't let her use the bathroom. Always. And she really, really had to go. It's fucking mean Tim Hortons.

Restaurant policy is that anyone can use it. You don't have to be a customer, but that in some franchises, employees have to give you a keys or buzz you into the bathroom at their discretion. On Thursday, Tim Hortons responded to the video in a statement. The fast food chain said they didn't let the use of the bathroom because of past behavior of her past behavior.

Well, out of concern for the immediate safety of team members and guests in the restaurant. We are deeply concerned by this video, blah, blah, blah, and limited cases. We restrict bathroom policies. So she had gone in there and made a fool of herself. Excuse me before, is that what I mean? That's what that implies.

That's what they're saying. Police picked her up. She was eventually released. She's coming to, she's going to make a court appearance coming up. And she'll be headlining yuck yucks in Calgary. She was there. Other public defecation. Wait a minute.

This is this is a open defecation. Open it is open defecation. Absolutely. Yeah. What was the name of that? There's yuck yucks and there's House of Comedy. Yuck yucks. Right, right.

No, there's a comedy. What is it? The one in Edmonton. Fuck, I can't believe I can't remember their name. I love the club. Dude, I just shot a special there. Um, I don't know. Comedy fucking comedy comedy comedy committee.

I was told a guy who runs yuck yucks, hates female comics. That's why I never played there. It blows my mind that people do that. I was told that like a decade ago. Like, no, he just hates females. It's unbelievable. I guess I won't be doing Canada for a while.

There's so many funny females out there. And no, it's pathetic. Anyways, really is a lot. Dental update, man. Oh, you're totally right. Let's see these teeth. Let's see. Let's see.

Here is my dental update, Sammy. I'm a big snorer. When I started dating, Christine and I wasn't snoring and then I got real fat and I started snoring a lot. That's men do that. And one day she played me a recording of my snoring. Oh, really?

This is when we were engaged and I swear to you, it was like somebody, it was like somebody playing a video of you drunk and they're going, this is what you like when you're drinking. You're like, oh my God, I have to quit drinking today. It was like that where I was so ashamed that I ordered a snore guard, like an online one that night.

Then I went to the dentist a few months later and I had like a real deal one. Well, they're made of plastic, obviously, they're mouth guards. Over time, they start to change color and it starts to look like you keep your snore guard in a trash bag and then you pull it out when you want to sleep. So mine got to the point where it's pretty discolored now

and it looks gross. Two years old though. Yeah, it's a few years old. And I asked the dentist, he said it's totally normal. He goes, you know, they look. Retainers get scummy too after a while. So I just had my new one delivered yesterday. How was I last night?

And not a peep. Okay, yeah. I call it deforestation where it sounds like you're just cutting trees down. That's me, my girlfriend, go back and forth. Do you wear a guard? Nothing. Dude, you know, here's the thing.

You think when you get it, like when I first ordered the one over the internet or whatever online, you're like, I'm just doing this to save her the burden of having to. To let her sleep once a while. That's the only reason. And I would do anything for love. What happens is you don't realize that snoring,

when you snore horrifically, you're having a lower quality sleep. So when you wear this thing, not only is it quieter for you, you're getting better sleep. You start to feel more refreshed. Now you know. Yeah, you should really get one.

I'm not against it. I mean, it's, you know what the principle is of a... What? So if you lay on your back right now, pretend you're asleep, that's exactly right. See how your lower jaw dropped? Yeah. That's what causes a lot of people snoring.

The jaw drops, your tongue sits back, your throat meat starts to go in on your air valve. These guards just keep your lower jaw up. So when you're totally passed out like this, your jaw stays up, air passage stays open. Dude, you sleep so much better. You just get that quality sleep. Yeah, will you try it?

I will. I think you'll be much happier. Where do I get it? Well, I mean, I did mine by just going to the dentist and just telling them, hey, I want this done. And they take a mold of your top and bottom teeth and then... I'm gonna go get a physical done and I'll get that done. Dude, tell me how much better you're sleeping.

I will. I will report back. You'll feel like a fresh little bunny. I'm gonna try it. I'll get my girl from one, throw one in her mouth, throw in my dog. My dog snores. What kind of dog is it?

It's a mutt. It's a mix. It's a half... Does it have a flat face like these guys? No, no, no. She's half besenji, half tie ridge back. The girl here, Bitsy, she snores like a 300 pound man. Yeah, she's just like cranking it out.

Oh my God. Oh yeah. And then it sounds like chainsaws, right? Yeah, cause it'll be like... And then she'll like catch herself and I'm like, fuck. I wanna throw her in another room. She sleep on your beds?

They've slept on our beds for years. During the pregnancy, she's much more sensitive to everything. Yeah. So we have crates in the room. Okay. And we were putting them in the crates. My dog sleeps on our bed and she sleeps perpendicular

and we work around her. Oh yeah. I pay for fucking everything and I gotta work around this dog. Yeah, no, no. I mean, sometimes when they sleep on the bed, they'll take turns going between, like laying between her legs

and they'll come over and lay between my legs, lay next to me and you're always like, yeah. They're such adorable. They're just snoring right over here. I love dogs. Yeah, they're the best, man. I'm a big dog person. So tell me how, tell me the tinfoil hat show.

How long have you been going now on it? It's a little over a year. And it's going strong. It's doing great, man. You know, it's getting, hitting marks. It's growing every day and it's just fun. And I just like... And it lets you be crazy.

I just enjoy hearing it all. And I kind of like learning how to interview people because conspiracy theories are like street dogs. They've been beaten down a lot. That they're very sensitive. So I kind of just have this thing where it's like, I'm gonna assume everything you're saying you believe in. I just want to hear what you believe.

So I kind of go with it instead of just like checking everybody all the time. I mean, if it's a really crazy thing, I'll go, okay. I don't necessarily... What have you checked? What have you checked that you're like, come on. Well, you know, it's like, I had this guy come on. There's this thing within the conspiracy community

called Q Anonymous. He's been dropping breadcrumbs about all the shit going on with Trump and CIA and all. It's like so exciting. Like if you get into conspiracies, this is the golden era of conspiracies. I'm sure, I'm sure. It is the best.

Yeah. And then I got into Anunnaki. So you, but you do question this dude when someone says something like this, yeah. Well, it's like this 85 year old man comes on starting. He's like, tell me all about the Anunnaki and all the stuff. So it's like, I just like to hear it. Okay. Now I've heard a crazy stories from you.

Lizard people, I'm into that. I'm talking of your family. So I was going to ask you is like, you've told me like stories about pops, whatever. Yeah. Brother, mom. What do they think of your, are they conspiracy types or are they like... I see an episode with my dad

in which we talked about conspiracies. And? He's totally into it. He is. He's all, dude, he told me very young, don't believe anything you see and half, don't believe anything you hear and half what you see. So it's always kind of been like my whole thing.

Is he into some big ones? Oh yeah, dude, like JFK and all that stuff. You know, for me, the first conspiracy I knew some was up was when the iron sheet got busted with hacksaw Jim Duggan in a car. And I'm like, you guys are supposed to hate each other. Even though I knew wrestling's fake, I was like, okay, that's craziness.

And then over time, there's all this crazy stuff. What's his, does he have a JFK lane? Cause I know there's multiple lanes for the conspiracy. He knew something was up that the, that's where, that's where the term conspiracy theory comes from is the, is the CIA creating the term or basically promoting the term to kind of demonize anybody who questioned the shooting.

And then it's from there, it's just crazy shit. Do you have a JFK theory? Cause I feel like that's the most famous. I think he was killed by the federal reserve, the mob and the CIA. All together. They all were, it was a big event actually. People flew in for it.

And you know, then you go to 9-11 and there's all that crazy shit that went on with that. And then there's just so much, I just love it, dude. I love studying it all. People love it. It's fun. Yeah. And I get some people don't want to hear it. Yeah, I know.

And I think some people are kind of afraid what's going on and where the world is. And that's fine too. I get it. You know, some people like to watch the news. I like to go and read it and just go deep. And then you see all this crazy shit going on. I just love it, dude.

I just like to hear about it. We have footage of one of Sam Tripoli's ex-girlfriends was in the news. So I don't know if you want to comment on her at all. Oh yeah. You saw her? Yeah, the 65,000 texts. I felt like I met my soulmate and everything

was just the way it was. And I thought we would just do what everybody else did. And we would just like get married and everything would be fine. But that's not what happened. Right now, the Valley Woman accused of stalking a wealthy businessman is sharing her side of the story from behind bars.

Police say that she texted the victim tens of thousands of times. Guys, this woman says she came from Florida to find love. Now she claims a man she's accused of stalking is her soulmate because of her superstitious beliefs and a particular number. Following the number 33, I used to wake up every day and every night at 333.

So it was 333. Jacqueline Claire Addis telling 12 News about her beliefs tied to the number 33. Hmm. And that's kind of what happens is like the crazy people getting the news and all the shit. There's a lot of numerology, stuff like that. It's all there, dude.

And if you sit down, you listen to these people, it's like crazy shit. Let's see, let's see how crazy she gets. So I kept following the number and I said, what? She claims that's what led her to a Paradise Valley businessman she met on the dating app Luxie. Then I find out he does stuff for the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea has 33% salt in it.

The common ground between the two. The same birthday. Convincing her even more that he's her match. The common ground between the two. The same birthday. Convincing her even more that he's her match. Our brothers are both named Jacob and David. We're both vegetarians.

But police say the multimillionaire didn't feel the same way. He called authorities on her numerous times, including last month when cops found Addis trespassing inside his house, taking a bath. I don't want to talk about them. That's really wild, breaking into someone's home and taking a bath.

Yeah. Like they, you know that serial killer, the one that killed Versace? Yeah. He would, he killed like five guys, right? Yeah. And one of the things he would do in a lot of the homes is like make sandwiches.

Really? That was his thing? Well, he would just go in there and like chill out, see what food they had. After he killed them or before? Well, see both, because sometimes he would arrive and no one like he was kind of waiting for someone to get home.

So he would just eat. I remember when they contacted his dad and they're like, any truth to your son is the gay serial killer. He's like, he's not gay. He didn't care, he didn't care. He was a serial killer. Yeah. It's great.

You know, here's the thing. I lived in Vegas for a while. Crazy shit comes in good looking packages. Like with men, for the most part, when a man's crazy, it affects. But for some great reason, women can hide, like batching crazy comes in very fuckable packages. Right.

And usually the hotter they are, they're crazy. Look at those ojos though, right? Like you see those eyes. And the eyebrows. It's always in the brow work. The brow work too. But you know, I would know 100% immediately looking at this woman that is dangerous right away.

So this girl's probably like 30, right? Probably. Right. And the guy she's probably hitting on is like 55. And like when you get into the 50s, girls in their 20s and 30s can do no wrong. You always see these older comics taking these super young female comics on the road.

She's really funny. Is she? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is she really funny? Yeah, you do say. We don't have to give examples. No, we won't. One thing I always think about when somebody breaks into someone's

house and goes and makes food from their fridge, like would you trust a stranger's fridge? Just because so much shit in hours is old and outdated. Like how do you know what you can and can't eat? You're a killer at that point. I don't know if I'm really worried about like fucking calorie intake at that point. I'm worried about getting food poisoning or something.

Yeah, but that's your obsession. You're like, oh, fuck. How am I going to get away with murder? What if I get food poisoning? Christina would do. She would break into someone's home and then kill them over their outdated food. Yeah, I'd be so mad.

She's shoving bad hot dogs up her ass. The milk's expired. Get the fuck out of here. I hate that. The documents reveal she texted him 65,000 times. That's it. Is she going to do a hard time for this? No.

Many of those messages. Did you hear her? She goes, that's it? She said that. 5,000 times. That's it? It's making me think like more. Many of those messages show disturbing delusions

of murder and hate. We'll do it in a method of scary stuff. I don't want to talk about that. But she admits he blocked her number. I told him if he ever blocked me on WhatsApp, that I would come and move here. Oh, dear. So he blocked me.

Oh, man. I mean, you think he waited for 65,000 messages before he blocked her? But she's clearly mentally ill. Yeah, I would have blocked her at like 20, 30. I'm like, oh, this chick's crazy. I could see her killing somebody and being the same. I'm really good at talking people off the ledge.

Are you? I know when people are crazy, you kind of talk them off. How do you do it? Just, you know, you just kind of find if there's a soul in that dead wood, right? Yeah. And you just kind of kind of, I think people at the end of the day just want to be treated

like a human being. And you just kind of slowly got to take them. You know, she's probably hooked on his dick smack, too. You think so? You ever meet these like, like this sex cult, like these dudes get these girls to brand themselves? I can't even get chicks to give me hand jobs. And this guy's getting a fucking guy named Keith.

He runs a fucking cult named Keith. Yeah. Branding. Branding. Chicks are branding themselves. Jesus Christ. Investigators say Jacqueline showed up last week. Crazy eyes.

That says I love anal, those eyes, right? Plamed to be his wife. She says she got a text message through a fake number. A number she thought was from her dream man. I was like, please don't tell me that this is you sending me fake text messages because you want me to come over so you could go to the police on me again. Should he be afraid of you?

No. Did he ever warn you that he was going to call the police if he didn't stop texting? No. Now in court documents, there is a box that's checked indicating that she's mentally disturbed. She's behind bars with no bond. This girl's going heavy on the makeup, huh?

Like the rodeo clown makeup she's rocking right there? Why are they treating this like a normal story? Like it's clear she's mentally ill. It's so clear. It's not her fault. That's bothering me that they're like, she's just a lady that overdid it. She's not.

She's clearly off of the rocker bit, yeah. Stop treating it like it's a normal. No. Oh my god, no, I love him so much. Yeah, she's got like, see, that's the problem with this country. It's like, if he doesn't like it, then I'll go home and I'll have my ex-boyfriend. What am I supposed to do?

The point of love is to keep giving it. That's the math equation. It's love equals 3.3, which is infinity times. Yeah, I mean, it's clear. She's got mental problems that she can't think clearly. She'd be a great guest on the same podcast. I would love it. We'll break it down.

I just want to know, like these girls would go on these, these millionaire websites. Just like you're asking for trouble. No. Right? I mean, like you're looking for something that doesn't necessarily, not that I'm saying bank broke dicks by any, I mean, I would totally not.

But it's just like you're looking for a certain type of person right there. I just think it leads to trouble. Yeah. Yeah, it's not like the real love. It's not a good idea to be on either side of the millionaire site. Millionaire sugar baby thing.

So weird. Real quick, someone says, I just want to throw out a thank you. You might not think of your podcast as something that can help people in their everyday lives. I'm a 40 year old white cisgender male. I'm a detective for a police department. What? We receive little to no training about the LGBTQ plus

community. Just recently I was assigned to investigate a robbery assault case. I met with the victim. Multiple face piercings, cuts on the arms. Let me know right away. She, in parentheses, in quotation marks, was non-binary. If it wasn't for the podcast, I would have been like,

what the fuck is that? Then I thought about your podcast and wanted to laugh. Then the scene from Leafa Weapon popped in my head with Murdoch saying, I'm too old for this shit, but I'm a professional. I quickly replied, what's your pronoun? Oh, wow. This person had a surprised look on their face

and said that she is fine. Oh, so she's non-binary, but that she. She referred to herself as she. She tried to tell me what happened, but would lose track and go off something else. She showed me all the text messages, Facebook posts between her and the suspects. I had to decipher who did what, to who,

since everyone was describing her as a he and the multiple suspects with different pronouns that were involved. I ended up giving her my card and asked her that she emailed me with a detailed statement. Just wanted you, guys, know that you're the Lord. Hold on. It's not my pronoun.

High and tight, Kevin. Well, how about that? Thanks, Kev. In. In. I don't wanna call him Kev, he doesn't wanna be called that. It's his pronoun.

It's not his. Keep the streets safe. They didn't give their pronoun. No, but that's, how about that? This podcast helped the detective. Absolutely. Helped him in the trans community. See, he really would.

Absolutely. As soon as that person said. I'm sorry, not trans. It's a non-binary. It's different. Oh, am I positive? It's gender identity. I wanna try to be sensitive.

I just saved my syllables. Sammy, mount up. Where'd you get that hat? Oh, it's, they are most, man. I have a buddy of mine. Oh, really? Armenians, dude. Yeah, this rack thing, boom.

Oh, that's cool. He makes some really great shirts and I wear his hats whenever I can. This is my buddy's podcast. He's kind of the top dog in the conspiracy world podcast. Hire side chats. He goes deep.

One of the things we do on this show. We wanna have you on the podcast. Oh, yeah, we'll do it. I like to have you both. And we won't go into the weird shit that will make you uncomfortable. I'm not uncomfortable. I just don't know anything.

Well, that's what's kind of fun to bring you on and talk about it. I'm a dope when it comes to that. Here's the, another thing we do is we always come up with alternative names for cities when we do our dates. Yeah. And we always try to make them juvenile

and silly. So for instance, Jacksonville, when I plug it, I'll say Jack Meowthville. Yeah. Orlando's, Orlando, Pittsburgh's, Titsburg, and so on. Yeah. We realized we didn't have one for Los Angeles. Yeah.

So people. Devastated. Submitted because we were saying we don't have them. There's a lost angel tits. Yeah. Good. I love that. Good.

Cox Angeles. Good. Floss Angeles for the dental month. Yeah, for sure. Fuck Angeles. Mom's Angels. Yep. Los Mangeles.

I like that one. Hot candle tits. Lost anal fists. Please. Lost anal fists. I love candle tits. I like candle tits too. So there you go.

There's some. What's San Francisco? Manfran Disco. Manfran Disco. Manfran Disco. Manfran Disco. Yeah. I love that.

Yeah. And what is Sacramento? Ball Sacramento. Ball Sacramento, very underrated city. Yeah. And for stand up, it's phenomenal. Phenomenal. Tampa is too.

Tampon. Tampon is for sure. Guess what New York City is? Jewdork titties. Jewdork titties? Yeah. I'm so in. Yeah.

I love Jew tits. That might be the best one. Yeah, do you like Jew tits? Oh yeah, they're number two on my super freak big board. Who's number one? Mexicans. Yeah.

Just all. They can just walk that fine line between being able to meet your mom and anal on the first date. You know what I'm saying? Like it's fun. Oh, Mexican girls, you mean? Yeah, Mexican girls.

Oh, yeah. Before we, it gets too late here. We encouraging our listeners to hit up Cardi B. That's right. It started. Christina and Cardi B are doing the same day. Oh, that'd be great. So we're just trying to get people to.

We planned it that way though. That'd be great. So they're sending these tweets out to Cardi B. I saw, you know, a hundred last week. Torrents of them. They're saying Cardi B are having baby at the same time. And they keep tagging her. She is, I am Cardi B.

We just want Cardi B to see it and say something. I think she should. You're probably a very famous mother. Did you know that you're due to have your baby while the famous Christina P is having hers? Is this a publicity stunt? What if she knew that? I just want acknowledgement from her

because it's like, you knew I was getting pregnant in October, you planned it too. And you know what I mean? Yeah. We're friends, we're bros. It's kind of like, you know, Avengers Infinity Wars. And then they had like the Legion, the Legion of superheroes, the DC version,

which was a very bad version. So you have yours, which is the affinity wars. And she's having hers, which is the Hall of Justice or the Legion of Justice Batman. It was just not good. It was just not good. She combined forces. Yeah, work together.

I agree. I got to get over this cold. East Coast on West Coast. She's killing me. Oh yeah? Yeah. We got to get our kid. We got to get our kid.

Sam Tripoli. He's got the tinfoil. Tinfoil hat, comedy, not comedy. Tinfoil hat with Sam Tripoli and then punch drunk with Archfielder, Jason Tipo. And you can see him live doing the show in both Manfred and Disco. Cobbs.

And yeah. We're this Friday night at the comedy store and we're doing a live podcast. We're kind of doing a run through. And then we're June 1st at Cobbs and June 2nd at Sacramento Punchline. Beautiful. I'll let you boy.

And May 31st, you can see him in the belly room at the comedy store with me. It's going to be a fun show. I can't wait. This is Fremont Street by POMMDM. Enjoy it. Thanks guys. Call me.

This is the Fremont Street. Put me in a dress. You stupid white bitch. I'm white. White slut. White. I'm the sissy of Fremont Street. Put me in a dress.

Take the shit out of me. Call me. This is the Fremont Street. Put me in a dress. You stupid white bitch. I'm white. White slut. I'm white.

I'm the sissy of Fremont Street. Put me in a dress. Take the shit out of me. Call me. This is the Fremont Street. Put me in a dress. You stupid white bitch. I'm white.

White slut. White. White slut. I'm the sissy of Fremont Street. Put me in a dress. Take the shit out of me. Call me. This is the Fremont Street.

Put me in a dress. You stupid white bitch. I'm the sissy of Fremont Street.