Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Sex Crime Sandwich w/ Joe DeRosa | Your Mom's House Ep. 820

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

SPONSORS: - Shop outdoor furniture, grills, lawn games, and WAY more for WAY less. Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to explore a HUGE outdoor selection. - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse - Go to https://ThriveMarket.com/YMH, to get thirty percent off your first order, plus a FREE sixty dollar gift just for signing up. Tom’s fasting, Christina’s gassy, and Joe DeRosa is back with a brand new comedy special and hot sandwich takes about a major New York institution. The show kicks off with a debate over whether fighter pilots could get away with call signs like “Stanky Cock” or “Big Dick.” The Main Mommies next dive deep into the aftermath of their staff psych evals, with borderline revelations, some tampon talk, and a real concern for Enny’s suspiciously normal results. Tom also opens up about his multi-day fast, shrinking penis, and terrifying wellness advice, while Christina celebrates colonics as feminist self-care. Then, Joe DeRosa enters the chat. The trio debates Hitler as a motivational speaker, Dan Peña’s castle energy, building houses on famous murder sites, and the growing arms race of celebrity sex criminals. Joe also dishes on Bradley Cooper visiting his sandwich shop, fantasizes about quitting comedy to work at Best Buy, and breaks down his bleak-but-hilarious new special I Never Promised You a Rose Garden. Plus: forklift fails, Cosby court swagger, Lena Dunham's cones, and how to turn fart jars and armpits into financial freedom. Your Mom’s House Ep. 820 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:08:51 - Opening Clip: I'm Ryan 00:23:11 - Brad Pitt In Fight Club Skinny 00:31:05 - Lena Dunham 00:37:05 - Clip: Bottled Farts 00:39:49 - Joe DeRosa, Dan Pena, & Murder Houses 00:48:28 - The Cosby Problem 00:59:22 - Woody Allen & Roman Polanski 01:13:33 - Drunk News Anchor 01:17:23 - Joe's New Special & Best Buy Fantasy 01:26:27 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:30:47 - Joey Roses Sandwiches 01:40:30 - Closing Song - "2 Catches (Obviously) By Odd-Track Numbers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey everyone, don't miss my Come Together Tour. I'll be in Athens, Georgia on Friday, August 29th, and Windsor, Ontario on September 4th. I've also added a second show in Akron, Ohio and will be there on September 6th and 7th. Tickets and all info is at tomsagurra.com slash tour. Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to the program. I'm Tom, of course, sitting here with my partner, Fart Dog. It's Lieutenant Fart Dog. Lieutenant Fart Dog, special operations instructor. You know, we were watching Top Gun.

Maverick. Maverick. And we were wondering if anybody is in the Air Force, if you could tell us if you have ever had a call sign like Fart Dog or anything remotely inappropriate. Inappropriate, yeah. Cause we were wondering if you could get away with being a call sign Fart Dog. It's all like Rooster and Joker.

Yeah, like what about like Tits slops or something, you know? Old big dick, cause you know those guys that would be the first one. Stanky. Stanky cock, yeah. I don't know about, they've probably just stanky. Just stanky? They wouldn't say stanky cock

wouldn't be your call sign. But what is the stanky in reference to your balls or your dick? Maybe, but the thing is, I think the only way to get away with a thing like a stanky would be because your commanding officer would be like, what? And then you'd have to spin it and be like, you know, it never showers.

And they're like, right. And then the real thing is that like, well, his dick stinks. Because he does it so much with chicks. Yeah, he's a big banger. Thanks. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I hooked up with a 26 year old and it was good. Oh my god. Oh my god. I hooked up with a 26 year old and it was good. Oh my god. I'm so proud of you. Like, like it was awesome. I'm so proud. Good for you. I gotta tell you something I did recently. I hooked up and I was like, it was great. Oh my god. I love that for you. Like seriously? I love that for you.

It was so fun. Oh my God, I love that for you. Like seriously? I love that for you. It's so fun. You know what's so great is that like, you're just being your authentic self. Yes, and I'm like, I'm just like not letting like society tell me who I can sleep with. Because society wants to shame you.

They wanna fat shame you. Society is racist, it's sexist. It's just horrible. Girl, you got to do your own thing. And like we butt-fucked and it was so awesome. Oh my God. I'm so happy for you. I haven't shit like this in years.

I love that for you. I have just been like, it's like colonics every day. Oh my God. And you know what? Colonics is also part of self care, which is so important. Nobody does it. Well, we as women, especially as mothers,

don't have enough time for self care. Do you think that my kids will like to hear this podcast where I talk about getting butt fucked? Probably about as much as they wanna hear us talk about Lieutenant Fart Dog. Probably. Their mom having pie surgeries. Actually, I think that the other one's probably going to bother the kid more. Yeah, I think talking about what you really do is by far more vulgar.

It's so funny that there's this, you know, I'm realizing this in the moment, that all these years on mic, and saying all kinds of inappropriate wild shit, there's this thing that in your head that always goes, yeah, but don't talk about what you do. And I think it's actually this self preservation slash, you know, putting into your mind, I think it's actually this self-preservation slash,

putting into your mind, oh, I don't want my kid to hear that. It always is the only line that exists. It's like, I won't tell real things. I know, and it's interesting, because as comedians, we walk the line of truth, of reality versus embellishment. So there is always a kernel of something usually, but not necessarily the whole shebang.

Now, I mean, if you would listen to the last episode, Tom and I are still reeling over the results. Everybody is. Everybody. The whole world is reeling over the results of the psych evaluations we did on our staff. I think we would, you know what it made me want to do? A more in-depth one. Like I want everybody to do the 500 question one.

I do. Let's go. Yeah. And then have somebody come in here and be like, all right, those first results, that wasn't it. There's a new top three. I would love that. Cross reference. I mean the big, I would say, headline news from it is, it's not a surprise Zolo is so well adjusted. I am a little surprised. You are?

I am a little, because he came to us young and we've raised him in a way and we've molded that young mind. It just means we're good parents, man. Maybe. Yeah. I was surprised. I definitely thought I was way more fucked up

than she made me out to be. What did you think she would say? I thought I'd be in the middle of the whole sample size here, but yeah, shocking. Yeah, I think it... Was he number one normal? Yeah, number one normal. That is wild. And I'll tell you who wasn't,

is sitting to his left and our right, Neyana who's wearing, what the hell does that shirt say? Does it say Daddy's Little Meat Eater? Oh, meatball. It's like, Jesus Christ. Daddy's Little Meatball. She's got her, she's representing the Bloodstain. I thought it said meat eater. I was like, you're insane.

She's got her Aunt Jemima handkerchief on her head too. Okay, so how's daddy's little meatball feeling? I'm very shocked that I was second most mentally ill. Did it actually rattle you? Did you feel surprised when she first said it? I was definitely rattled when she said the words borderline. That is rattling. But then the thing that we have to, I was thinking about it today, was that, well, everybody

registers on this. There is no such thing as, oh, you don't have anything. Everybody registers, and it makes sense that you're gonna be higher and in certain things when she started asking you questions and like you know you were Kind of coming to terms with like oh, I get yes to this note of that did it start to feel Unnerving or is it like settling in a way to to hear the question and reaffirm something? Yeah, I felt better that some things were reaffirmed, but also like, I don't know, I'm just very emotionally in tune. So it didn't really, once I saw that everyone else had a little bit of this borderline, I'm like, that doesn't mean anything. I'm just like an emotional person.

Yeah, emotional person. So that's what bothered you? What bothered you the most? Just the term? Yeah, just the term was a little scary. Oh, to be, well, look, as somebody that was raised by a borderline mom, I was definitely afraid of it too. And unfortunately, everyone's got borderline traits.

Yeah, everybody. And you can just go and work on those traits so that they're less prominent in your psyche. But also yours are not, they're not notable. They're notable within a hundred question test. Mine. No, no, I'm talking to Neona. Oh, Neona, yes, yes.

They're notable in a hundred question test in that moment compared to everyone. They're not like, oh my God, this is alarming. You know? Yeah, you could have been getting your period or something. I did take the test when I was PMSing. Same here. You too?

Same here. Are you finally bleeding? Yeah. What are you wearing today? I hate the fucking buildup of a, now I have a tampon in today. Did you do, and what did you take for your symptoms? Mydol. You like that one better? what did you take for your symptoms? Mital.

You like that one better? Yeah, I take Advil Tums sometimes too. Sure. What about the big liar face who we all know lied, which was Eni, right? I know, bullshit. We were all like, normal, get the fuck out of here. No way.

She was like, oh, Eni, yeah, who's that? Oh yeah, that one's normal, like get out of here. I would put money that, I thought he was gonna fudge the test to make it crazier. I think he fudged the test to be normal. Like, he probably went, oh, what would a normal person say here? And then that's how he answered.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, probably like- In character. Would go, I'm about to answer, hold on. Yeah. I'll go two to the left. Yeah, pretend I'm Josh Zollo, and now I'm answering. And now I answer, yeah. We know to the left. Yeah, yeah pretend. I'm Josh Zollo and now and now I answer. Yeah, we know we know we know All right, let's open the show you ready talk about us, huh? Well, we will but I think we should do our opening

Oh, yeah, I forgot about here we go Here you go I'm Ryan and I just got noticed by Tom Segura again and I just have one thing to ask why the fuck can't a beautiful black goddess ever notice me? Awwww Who is Ryan? Don't bring anyone loving to this!

You're welcome! Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura mom Segura Yeah, no, you know Oh my gosh. I just got a text from my mom friend who was like, this is so funny. She goes, wellness check, making sure you are okay with Tom's water cleanse. Play twice if you're okay. I'm really shocked at how pleasant you are. Well today today changed today So for people that don't know we're yeah

We are recording a few of these episodes kind of day after like, you know, three days in a row basically, right? Just because of the summer schedule which we'll get into in a little bit. So Yesterday we recorded an episode that came out the week before this one. And I was working towards 48 hours of fasting. And I could definitely feel, you know, hunger, lack of focus, you know, irritable, all the things when you're hungry, but exacerbated. And I was like, fuck.

And people were telling me different things about that's, you know, a normal thing, and that it might get worse for going into the third day, might get better, whatever. So I went to bed last night. How did you sleep hungry? I have such a hard time sleeping. That was harder the first night. After 24 hours, that was hard.

So that first night, like when I hit 24 hours, because I started this fast in the evening, I hit 24 hours at nine in the evening, and going to bed that night was the hardest. It was hard to go to bed, and when I got up to pee, it was so hard to go back to sleep. I was up a lot, you know? I was like, fuck man. Because you know, your body's just like,

hey, how come we're not eating? So yesterday, it was a little bit easier to go to sleep. I had some salt. I put this high quality salt just on my tongue, drank more water. Sounds great. Then I was able to fall asleep. But anyway, I woke up today, and in the the morning I hit 60 hours, right? So I'm working towards the 72, I guess, for today. And I felt much more energized. I felt normal. So I went to the gym and I hadn't

lifted or anything in a couple days. So I lifted, I didn't do anything. I'm really like, cautious and apprehensive about pushing too hard. So I'm not doing anything crazy, but I just wanted to exercise and like feel, you know, muscle contractions and everything. So I did like a little circuit where I did like full body kind of circuit and I felt fine. I felt totally fine doing it.

And then now I feel completely normal right now. That is crazy because you're not afraid of like passing out? No, no. I feel afraid of passing out. But there's this thing that happens in your body, which is that like at first your body's like, why aren't we eating? Right. And it's like you're hungry, hungry, hungry. And then your body taps into it and goes like, oh, we're not getting food from the mouth, so now we'll tap into your own reserves.

So you start using that as energy. So I think, you know, I just- This is insane that you're, I think people listening are like, Tom is officially- Crazy. Right, like what did the Psycho Bell say about this kind of- Well, you know what it fucking said about you is that- No, hold on.

Hold on though. The Psycho Bell did say, are you beefing? No, I'm just adjusting. The psych about did say that you're prone to doing high risk behaviors or more impulsive things. And this is one of those wacky things that you're doing. I would never do this. No, I know.

It sounds terrible. This wasn't done people. I know it makes sense to think it was just done to like drop weight. It was done because of a wellness protocol that we see wellness people, and the wellness person, unrelated to body weight or body fat,

was like, this is a great reset for you, and gave me all this, it's too long to get into, all this information, and this protocol involved a bunch of vitamins and things I hadn't tried before and one of them was like a five-day fast And I thought well I could put off that fast Because you know you don't have to do it in the moment Or I was like this is probably a good week for me to do it before I travel and go do this Movie, so I just did it this week. No, I'm telling you I was worried

Going into this I was like, he's going to be miserable. It's going to be a pain in the ass to be around you. You're going to be insufferable. I thought so too. Complaining. You've been lovely. In fact, I have better conversations with you because you're not as distracted. Like you stop and talk to me and you make eye contact and you listen and it's been really nice. So I think you should just stop eating entirely for the rest of our marriage. Summer's the perfect time to entertain whether you're hosting friends for a cookout

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Go to Shopify.com slash mom's house. Shopify.com slash mom's house. So don't eat again? No, keep it going, bud. I think you're right. Yeah. I actually really like the way I feel I I would want to try it, but I don't want to try it. You know, can I tell you this though? I'm scared. Can I tell you this? It's like it's like a gangbang. Can I just tell you this? No, cuz because you go like I don't know if I can handle it and then you get in one you're like

This is the bad bank, these are the people I want to be friends with forever. There are two in you, there are three in you. So no, it's it's like a lot of things. The anxiety about it is worse. That's true. It's absolutely true. That is like life. It's like, wow, fuck life. Anyway, let's talk about the Psycho Bell. Okay, so technically- She called me later. She was like, I didn't want to say it on the show. She's like, Christina's a crazy bitch. And I was like, oh, why didn't you say it? Yeah. Not true. The only reason I won is because I charted high

on eccentricity, schizoids or whatever. Schizo-tipple. Schizo-tipple. And that's just I'm a little weirder than you. Avoidant too. Oh, I'm very, I'm more avoidant than you. And I was just higher on antisocial, which we knew. Knew that.

We knew that. And risky behavior, risky business. And traits and psychopathy. Yeah, I'm more psychopathic than you Well for sure, but but that that ties into being antisocial. It does it's the same thing I'm surprised you didn't score in the danger zone for that maverick because you should have scored higher for psychopathy. I should have worn my cycle glasses today. I know. I left them at home.

You're high designers. Yeah. Well, I'm glad we did this. It was very informative. Tanner, I think we should, I would love to follow him in therapy and unpack what's going on there. Yeah, I think we should definitely, I really meant it, I said it when he was on the phone yesterday, I was like, I'll pay for you to go to therapy.

Yeah, we should sponsor that. She also, like, she did seem a little scared about him. She was like, this guy is fucking wild. It's wild. Well- Is this a combat vet? No. I know. Nope. And know. Nope.

And also a very good fit here at YMH2. Perfect. Yeah. And I meant it for most of you. I was like, don't get help. You're great. But he, I was just a little concerned about. Oh, and I was going to say too, I was thinking about it last night.

Had I taken that test 20 years ago before therapy, I would have scored way crazier. Oh my God, me too dude. I would have been bars, bars, bars. Me too dude. It's also a function of aging and being in therapy for a fucking million years where you're like, oh yeah, I know what's wrong with me. Yeah.

Yeah, I know I can go OCD if my anxiety gets too high. Exactly. So what do I do? I gotta feel feelings even though I don't like to feel them. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're right and we're both big advocates of therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'll always be encouraging for people to do it. I'm a little to feel them. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're right. And we're both big advocates of therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'll always be encouraging for people to do it.

I will too, fart dog. Let me just real quick, because we opened with Ryan. Hi, I'm Ryan. Oh, my God, I forgot about Ryan. Yeah, the whole point of this is to help Ryan get that beautiful black eye. I'm trying to help everyone. And that's why I'm telling this audience, please, are you black? Are you beautiful?

Do you have a big ass? Do you have a great ass? I'm guessing if the first two are yes, the third one is definitely yes. Could you please send a message to this sweet Ryan? What's his handle? Ryan Harmon 22 on Instagram. At Ryan Harmon 22, that's R-Y-A-N-H-A-R-M-O-N-2-2.

If you're a beautiful black goddess and you just wanna meet someone new, connect with someone, why not send or post a message? You can tag YMH, you can tag Ryan Harmon 22 and just say hello. He wants a beautiful black goddess. I think there's enough people out there that need a connection that this might be something special. Well we've always been people that make love connections. Yes. You know, we have love, we want to share our love with others. So hit Ryan up. Here's another bit of information. Go ahead. Ryan not only does not discriminate, which is obvious because he was looking for a beautiful black goddess.

Yeah. He is, he is without a doubt, maybe the most inclusive love seeking guy out there because... I'm Ryan and I like trans women. Something about a girl with a dick gives me that tingly feeling. Dude, you could definitely find a black trans woman out there. Yeah. They're everywhere on social medias.

And here's the thing about them, Ryan. I don't know where they are. They got that beautiful black ass you're looking for and a dick that you have never encountered in your life that will change your life. And I think that might be the love connection that happens from this show. Dude, this is so cool.

You know what's really cool about this time we live in is like, I remember watching Love Connection with my mom. And back then it was only like straight people with straight people. And dude, now you can be like, yeah, I like, I don't know, black trans women. And they're like, cool. Yeah, we'll find you someone.

Yeah. It's so incredible now. It's great. It is great. Gosh, they should redo love connection with like a Ryan guy. And he's like, dude, her ass was so big. And Chuck was like, really?

Tell me about that ass. Dude, a love connection with like non squares. Yeah, it would be so rad. So fun. That's a great idea We try to produce that make that I know you want to yeah Happy. Oh my god. Remember the other day we were watching Fight Club. Yeah, and I was like, I love Jim Norton He's so good in this Yeah, and then I was like that's not Jim Norton. Yeah You're like what I do that so much where I put comedian names.

I mean, it's a close one. They have the same last name. Yeah. Two different people though. They are different. They're very different people. God, Brad Pitt's so awesome in this movie. Yeah.

And so is Ed Norton. So is Helena Bonham Carter, my absolute hero, style icon for sure. He looks like he did a five day fast leading up to the movie. I think he did. Look at those abs. Look at his dick lines. What do you call those? Cum gutters. Yeah. Cum gutters.

Damn. The thing about this though, this is always referenced about what's the male aesthetic thing. But he has no mass in this. You realize that? What do you mean? the male aesthetic like thing, but he has no mass in this. You realize that? Like, he looks like he weighs, if you watch the movie and you're a guy, you're like, yeah, like he looks incredible, but he weighs like 150 pounds in this movie. I dream of weighing 150 pounds.

Yeah. That's my goal weight. Isn't that, but that's really slender for a man. Yeah. That's wild. So like he's basically fasting and just punching. I mean, it's his, I think it's his natural, but it's his leanest weight you can get to. And there's no mass,

meaning like there's no bulk to him. Right? Like it's very, very lean. Like a surfer's body. Yeah. Like a surfer. Exactly. So, but I'm thinking like the reason would being like this photographs or this videographs. What did I tell you? Beautifully. What did I tell you his weight was? And I could tell that from the eye.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, cause it looks great on film. He got his body fat percentage down to 5%. What? Yeah. Yeah, because people don't realize that movie stars are very small people.

I think. Generally, they're tiny. But like, if you're watching this, I'm just talking about from the aesthetic. If you go, oh man, he looks great. But if you saw him in person, then you would be like, dude, you need to like, you need to eat something. Yeah, you're too small.

But it looks better on camera. But it looks good on camera. Cause the camera adds 20 fucking pounds. It sucks. That's why movie, like actresses are always teeny, teeny, teeny, tiny's cause it doesn't, it looks better. You should see me at 155. That's crazy.

Pretty cool. Have you ever been? Yeah, fifth grade. Could you imagine? I mean the skinniest, I'm trying to think of like the, so the lightest I've ever been as an adult is 30 pounds heavier than that. So 185. I was 185 when I was like 22 That's about right though. Cuz I think when I was in college like the summer I worked at Starbucks No, I lived in England and I just lived on beer and cigarettes because the food was garbage in the 90s

I got down to 117 nice five seven. I was I looked so good dude. See my ribs and everything. I wish let's make a pact today. Yeah, I Get down to 185 you get down to 117 deal and we just let things fall where they may let's fucking do it. Okay How do I get back on the ozempi? No, stop eating like I do just fast until in there. Yeah You can fast for a hundred days without dying. Yeah? Yeah. But don't your kidneys fail and stuff? No. Josh, look it up. At what point does like your organ shut down and stuff? No, dude.

You're gonna have electrolytes. You're gonna have water. I'm gonna stop ovulating or what? That's fine. Or menstruating. Fine. Women need food. No.

We're not like men. No. You guys are animals. 14 days, the breakdown of muscle speeds up. The body begins to lose heart, kidney, and liver function. This is somebody who's not, who's starving, like really starving, not like who's doing this the right way. I'm talking about a fast.

Mm-hmm. What's the right way? Just drinking water and stuff? Yeah, water, salt. Okay, Josh, Google how long can you go just drinking water, salt, sodium. I know people have done much longer fasts without their organs breaking. without your organs perfectly healthy Listen, I've watched alone. What's that show alone and afraid and naked?

Take that down surviving Yeah, Canada. Yeah, what's the fucking show? I'm thinking of where these survivalists go out naked and afraid or whatever alone, okay Right, and they always go out 40, 50 pounds heavier. And then the problem is they're like, I'm starving, my body is breaking down, my kidneys are failing, my heart's. First of all, you're not gonna do it forever.

You're just gonna do it till you're 117. How long, God, that would take so long. No, just, you don't eat for two months. You can't not eat for two fucking months. You know what, honestly, honestly, when I'm having my surgeries, my tit reconstructions, I'll do it then, because I'll be in bed, bedridden anyway, high as shit.

Now think about that. I'm not gonna start eating then. New tits. Yeah. No food. No food, so good. Dude, you're gonna feel amazing. That's what I'm gonna do it.

Perfect. Because right now I'm dreading these surgeries, so I'm acting up. I know what I'm doing. I'm drinking too much, I'm eating too much. Can I ask you something? I'm acting up. I know what I'm doing. I'm drinking too much, I'm eating too much. I'm acting out. Is it possible that through this fast, my penis is shrinking?

I don't know. Is that possible? Ask the doctor. Dr. Zollo. Ask Chet Chet. I'm looking it up. Can my penis shrink? Between vacations, errands, and everyday summer chaos,

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That's thrivemarket.com slash YMH, thrivemarket.com slash YMH. Why would it shrink? There's no water in your penis? I don't know. You're probably just losing water in your penis. Maybe my penis is mostly made of water. Mm-hmm.

Everybody knows that, dummy. Yeah. What about your balls? Are they changing? Yeah, they're smaller too. Everything's been shrinking. You're losing water in your nuts. Okay What does it say

Six causes of penis shrinkage. Oh my god. Okay Aging on your side. Yeah. Yeah, what you can do stop aging or die. Okay obesity, but that's That's like that makes sense cuz that's like the fat pad around you grows. So your penis looks smaller Right and pyrenees now. That's not what we're talking about Prostate surgery. No. Oh, how about this one? This is good. Okay, that suppress testosterone. I'm not suppressing it Want to reduce penis length by as much as three centimeters. No what you can do. Oh medicines Are you on any?

Propecia's Hey, hey, I'm getting a wig All right, let's talk about this cuz yeah Hey, I'm getting a wig you fucking snob. All right, let's talk about this. Cause what is this thing that says Lena? Lena? Oh, fuck right off. Lena fucking Dunham y'all. Man, so listen, you know I'm on the talk

and I've come across these absolute nightmarish videos of her talking. I mean, look, she's always been insufferable. I'm not a fan of girls. I never was. Maybe it's I'm it's not my age bracket, but just listen to what she's saying. OK, it's something something cool. Culture that is so

deeply fat phobic, misogynistic, racist, ageist, I mean all the ists and that's is forming every single day our dynamic with our body whether we like it or not. Everybody has to take their whole life's journey in this one body that they've been given and I think one of the gifts for me of having issues with my health has been realizing how much, how hard our body is working for us all the time. I have a relationship with my body now

that exists outside of those things, and I feel very lucky for that. What things? Out of society, out of fat shaming and racism and patriarchy. She didn't blame the patriarchy, wait a minute. That's good. We didn't hear that.

I mean, I thought that was pretty sensible, what she said. That society makes you overweight. Well, is that what she said? I thought she was saying that society, and in general, we live in a culture that is fat phobic and racist and all the ists Yeah, and that that you form a relationship with your body through that lens and that now she is in a place Where she kind of realizes you have to take this whole life journey with this one body which makes sense. I think and

Yeah, I think it was I thought it was really cool. Yeah, Yeah, you like what she's saying. I do, I like her outfit. I think she looks great. I don't know what you're doing, just keep doing what you're doing, Lena. You look like you're doing it right. Yeah. She looks amazing. She looks good, I like the rings.

I like the different color nails. Yeah, the jewelry looks great, the outfit's nice. Yeah, big fan. Big, big fan. I never saw girls. I know that was a fucking huge hit. You know what I did I did like Wow What I

Did like the episode she played she played ping-pong topless and I thought that was very courageous of her Yeah, cuz her her sloppers weren't like Desire desirable they're a little Coney. Yeah, she was a little tubby courageous of her, because her sloppers weren't like, desirable, they're a little coney. Yeah. And she was a little tubby. Yeah. And that was a neat thing. That is cool to see.

You didn't see it unconventional. See now they photograph, those are nice photographs. Now she just looks Rubenesque. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I take it back, I'm sorry. You know what she kinda looks like there? Those cans are nice.

She kinda looks like me in Bad Thoughts. Ha ha ha ha ha in that show too. You did do. I didn't even acknowledge your courage and your bravery in this fat phobic, cacophobic, dick phobic society we live in, Tom, you prevailed. How come I don't get more celebrated for being brave? You're so brave, Tom. I'll celebrate you. I mean, I stood there naked multiple times, covered in shit one time. Yeah.

I don't see the fucking Atlantic writing articles about me and like what a brave choice that was. That was. That was very brave. Covered in peanut butter and oatmeal food dye I agree I thought it was very courageous thank you you know especially like the society is so terrible that we live in you know it's practically a Afghanistan here the way women are shamed and told to stay inside and you know. I hooked up with a guy.

Hollywood is like Pakistan. Good. Good for you. I sucked the guy's dick on the bus yesterday and it was like so delicious. Oh my God, good for you girl. Thank you. You're so empowered.

Thank you. Listen, speaking of girl stuff, buy my lipsticks you guys. I've got Four Shades. I've got Berlin, the perfect red, Atomic Red and Madison, available at ChristinaP.com. And oh, there they are. I've got some exciting things in the pipeline coming up in the fall and the winter. And I'm so excited.

And also I might be wearing something that I will be debuting very exciting very soon Christina p.com boys buy this for your ladies. They love this stuff, right? broads love gifts Yeah, if you got a broad in your life get her a gift She will literally suck your dick if you buy her these love stuff. That's all you gotta hear Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding Keanu hit me up and he was like, my balls are full. Can you suck them?

And I said, ding ding ding. Ding ding ding. Yep. Also, my artwork, Fuck Around and Find Out, is still available. It is now priced at, 50. No, it was 40.

And now I am increasing it to $50,000 for the original. By the way, this is the work you've done. Thank you. No, the work you've done, I'm saying on yourself, is to know, you know, cause you were like saying that like I have the confidence and you admire that? Yes. It's about saying, no, the price, yesterday's price

isn't today's price, fuck face, so it's 50 grand. Yes, Tom. There you go. Oh my God, you know what? Yes. And just as women, we don't value ourselves enough. I know. And I've suffered low self-esteem, but not anymore because I value myself.

And now you value it at 50 fucking thousand dollars. That's right, bitch Fucking buy it. Here you go You see the bottle she brought in there's a big bottle I don't know if you saw it look at that size So she's farting into that. I Already know a flaw. What's that? She didn't cover it fast. Otherwise the smell's gonna go away. I know. And that was a big fart.

It was great. Yeah. But we know this from college. When you fart into a film container, the secret is you gotta cover it with the lid really fast to send that smell. Well, hopefully she sees this and hears you talking and goes,

ah, thanks Christina. Thank you. Thank ya. Give me my rem Christina. Thank you. Thank ya. Give me my reward. Give me my reward. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

You know, what's really nice about being a lady is that you can always make a living with your sexuality. It is nice. Any age, any size. It's so true. Any time. And with the internet and the landscape that has been created,

the platforms that are out there, you could be in any fucking predicament and go, all right, I'm gonna shit on a glass table for you. And there's somebody out there who's gonna go, here's 30 bucks. You can always get yourself out of a bind. I still have feet, and there people that want to see those. Click, click, click.

I still have a fat ass. You have armpits. I got armpit. And even if I don't, even if I'm missing a limb, there's a guy out there that wants that. There's somebody who just wants you to go, ah, and point at your mouth. Yep.

You want to fart in a jar? There's a guy that wants that. That's the best part. These women complaining, oh, it's a tiny, tiny equal. You know what I really admire? It's great. Are the women who give the least of themselves in order to satisfy men, meaning like a video where like a lady's like,

yeah, what's up you fucking losers? I love that too. I would do that, Lane. Why don't you just pull your tiny dick out. I subscribed to a few. So, but like, they're getting money and they're just like saying shit to someone. I've always said that I could do the dominatrix thing. Kick a guy in the balls. You've always loved that.

You've always told me, pull up a video of a guy getting kicked in the balls. But that's only if he's been a good dog for a long time. And that's the final frontier. That's $10,000 kick. Right. You know what I mean? But I chastise him, I berate him on the video

for a long, long time. Yeah, that's fucking cool. Yeah. Wow. So, all right, let's take a quick break. Hey. Let's take a quick break. Lena Dunham's so great.

Just what a voice of a generation. Totally. Oh, oh. Let's take a quick break and Lena Dunham so great. Just what a voice of a generation. Totally. Let's take a break and we'll be right back. Can I get a beer? We are back and we are rejoined by one of our favorites. His new special comes out. It actually is out. It's called I Never Promised You a Rose Garden. It's on his YouTube channel. The joystick tour for 2025 is on sale now at jodorosa.com. It's Joe DeRosa everybody.

Hi mommy. Hi guys. How's it going? Good to see you. We're talking tattoos right before we rolled. I wanna get one, hear me out though. I'm listening. Okay, it's a portrait of Hitler,

but the reason is that he's a hell of a salesman. He's one of the slickest talkers of all time. Not for all the other- Not the anti-Semites, none of that shit. Just like a great orator. And Tom, Tom loves sales. I like sales, I like business, and I feel like it's a message to the rest of the staff of like, this is the guy who could give a speech, you know?

And I kind of want them to take that. They're all giving me pushback. He's... He's... He's... He's... Optically I get why, but he's, he is the ultimate example of used his power for bad.

Right, so that the whole thing is, look at this. The ultimate. On my arm every day, and don't be bad. That's what I'm trying to tell them. That's another thing, tattoos on the arm in Hitler, they're not a great history there. There's a lot. I'm trying to figure out a way.

Yeah, you just need to open your mind, Joe. It's like, I feel like you've never taken a sales seminar before. What about this? What if you started with a tapestry that you just kind of hung on the wall? That's a great idea. Oh my god, what if we spent like 50 grand on the Hitler tapestry? Well, Dan Pena brought it up and that's why I like when he brought it up.

Oh, you got to put your cans on to hear it. Sorry. Oh, oh shit. But this is Dan Pena who we've had on the show before and yeah, he... I'll do whatever it takes. Yeah. Well that means something different to me. It means something different to guys like Hitler. Why do I have Hitler's picture in the behind my desk? Because he's arguably the best salesman that ever lived. How do you get 60, 70, 80 million people to genocide 10 million people? Either those 10 million people had to do something terrible, which wasn't the

case, or you've got to be a slick motherfucker. And that's what I'm saying. He was. Yeah. Now that's the thought behind it. Will you also start dressing like Gomez Adams? Cause that would help. That would help.

His outfit is helping sell the argument. It really is totally his aesthetic. Yeah He also lives in a castle in Scotland he does this guy does yeah, Dan Pena Wait, who is I'm embarrassed. He's like a he's a Business, you know one of them like the business talking here. I got some We knew we first discovered him on videos like this. Okay here. It looks like You realize the Russians think Eastern black countries think we're faggots? Because we are! We're in affairs with the humanity! See that guy.

The humanity. Wow. Yeah. That guy's got a way. I think he's undercutting himself with giving Hitler all the credit. I think this guy's got his own skill set. He's got a lot of classics, man. Hanging out with losers.

Wasting your time with people that mean the same to you. Correct. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future. That's one of your top, top three pieces. It is. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future. You want to know why you're all fucked up? Just look at the fucking bums you hang around with. There you go. I've committed this to soul message. So Pena was a financial analyst. He went on

to become president of Great Western Resources, a Houston based oil company. Pena was ousted as president of the company in 92, awarded three million dollars then. He bought, yeah, Guthrie Castle in Scotland where he lives, operates several businesses out of there. Yeah. Can we see a picture of Guthrie Castle? I want to see this. Jeez. Oh, all right. Crushes. I mean, that's, you know.

But, bro, if you want to learn, you can take his seminar. You just have to go to Scotland. You do. You can stay in the castle. You can. His seminar. I mean, it's a nice castle, dude. Come on.

All right. Crushes. The angle was... It was a... The first... That's was that it was a first that's a terrible angle It looks like an old church that That looks, but look. I'm just gonna say yeah, it's Technically a castle okay. I you say castle. I'm thinking I know there's a peak yeah, and it can clips You know what I mean like Dracula style. That's a big fucking house, but I got to be honest I went to the guy that created full house's house once.

So did I! It pretty much looked like that. I've been to that... It's the Manson murder house. It's not the house, it's the site of the house. It's the site of the house. Correct. He tore it down, changed the address, and rebuilt in this kooky shoes mansion with waterfalls in the Elvis Presley room.

Committed far worse crimes than Manson by creating full house. What happened to predict? Look at that. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. I was there with Burr. It was Bob Saget's birthday party and Burr brought me and we were walking around outside and he just goes,

Jesus Christ, this looks like a cheesecake factory. That is really tacky, man. It is. It's wild. It's horrendous. And I went there for a business lunch and he had a butler bringing us lunch out on this veranda and did you see like the waterfalls and the slides and there's no kids there yeah it was it was a scene I hung out with a turtle from my entourage oh he was there I met Norman Lear I met a ton

of cool people very cool there's a first time I ever met Bob Saget. He was very nice Just Stamos was there along with the older two sisters Cameron and Jodie Yeah, the Olsens didn't show up though. Oh, that's really yeah I was bummed cuz I was like that's when I feel like it's gonna be like a fucking party Yeah, Olsen twins show up, but they must not like him. Yeah You know what the nice thing though about building on that that plot of land is just good vibes if you believe in energy Well, I asked him why you know that I go why do you why did you buy this? I'm just curious Are you a fan? Right of the work? Yeah, and he goes well

It turns out that murder land is discounted land so I got a really good deal on this Spoken like a true Hollywood cool guy. Yeah. Yeah the coolest only in only in Hollywood Can it can it get worse? You think the worst thing that could happen on this land happened, and then they build this It's like almost bad amusement park. It's like, imagine if they built that at ground zero. It's just like, guys, something happened here, man. Look at this headline with a strange history.

Is it strange what happened there? Is that the word you would pick? Strange history. It was really strange the way people were disemboweled on this property. A pregnant woman had opened. That was so strange. They wrote pig and blood on the walls.

Jesus. Jesus Christ. Strange. Has anyone ever said, fuck you, Dampagna, I'm walking out the door? No, I've thrown a couple out, but nobody's ever said that. No, I take that back.

One Romanian walked out the door because he said I was making fun of him calling him a gypsy, a Roma. But then when we came back in the afternoon, he was sitting in the library. And I thought you left. He says, no, no, no, you were right. You were right. So I'll be the first if I walk.

Yeah, yeah, if you walk, you'll be the, there'll be plenty of people here, but you may be the first if I walk. Yeah, yeah, if you walk, you'll be the... There'll be plenty of people here, but you may be the first to walk out. Oh! Oh! This guy's amazing. He's amazing. He's amazing.

I'm following him. This is amazing, yeah. Isn't he just like our dads? I mean, do you know what I mean? Like this is just, this is what we grew up with, John X, mostly. Yes, yeah. Yeah, it's that, yeah, guys that talk like that just because, like it's like, yeah, they're not around guys that talk like that just because like it's like yeah, it's it's they're not around anymore

It's wild. I do honestly kind of love a guy like that Yeah, you know, I mean cuz you know what it reminds me of is uh, like old-school coaches If you ever played like any like team sports, you know You get a variety of personalities and there's one who was like a straight shooter who's like, you know what? The whole reason you're not playing right now is because you fucking suck. And you're like, oh yeah. And he just gets in your ass. Like, get here early and lift, you fucking pussy.

You're like, okay. Yeah, it's so wild, man. I miss that era of, I mean, how many times have any of us with people that you work with or that work for you in some capacity or whatever, you have so many moments where you're like, I wish it was 1985. Yeah, yeah, of course. So I could just be like, why don't you do your fucking job and shut the fuck, and you can't.

Yeah. It's just not how it works anymore. No. But it still works like that in his world. I know. Yeah, he does that still for sure. I mean, he lives in a castle. But you know what's great about the standup world is that it's so brutal.

Even if your cohorts, your whatever, your friends aren't busting your balls, the audience will. So there's no mincing of anything in our world. It's like the last honest part of showbiz maybe. Yeah, yeah. It's a lot of just absolute brutal honesty all the fucking time. I got a heck, the guy heckled me last night.

I said, I was talking about how Russell Brand, I go, if you wanna see a true psychopath, like if you wanna add to the richer trillions and say Russell Brand, and the premise of the bit, it's not really working, but the premise of the bit is he's got multiple charges and he's rich but he still does his podcast like that's the sign of a lunatic yeah yeah because they can never stop you from doing that no matter how psychotic you

are you can keep doing this yeah you can and I go so I say that and the guy when I said the charges some guy goes whatever whatever and I go are you one of these passive passive guys when it comes to yeah and the guy goes America it's like all right well this is where we're at. He's English. It was a wild response but it's the only could you imagine in an office no even I couldn't say the first thing No, nobody could have the reaction they had the interaction that took place afterwards could none of it could have no comedy is one Of the last places where it's just I just got asked about somebody Okay, I'm not gonna say who okay, and I was and so a guy I know brought up somebody else who has had Accusations, okay, and I was like, oh, yeah, you know about that.

And he was like, yeah. Yeah, because he goes, it seems like a great guy. And I go, yeah. I mean, other than the stuff. And he goes, is it possible that somebody can be redeemed? I go, yeah, they're just like a cooler. And he was like, yeah, he was like, yeah, I don't know. He seemed like a guy, a nice guy.

For sure, man. Did you see the Theo Vaughn, Kat Williams, Bill Cosby clip? No, I can't say that. My friend sent it to me yesterday. I was laughing so hard. They're sitting there talking, and they're talking about Bill Cosby and Theo's Looking up at the monitor and cats over here and Theo goes did you get to meet Cosby man? you know before all the problem stuff happened and

It is the longest pause in fucking history cat Williams is look so high Fucking history cat Williams is look so high It's so quiet for so long Theo eventually like turns like what what's going on like you're not speaking and then cat Williams just goes Is one of the problems the right Is this it is this this the clip? Yeah. Bill Cosby, you ever get to meet him or not? Before he had all the problems? Problems.

Look how long this... He's like, problems. He's being a... one of the problems. Oh, sorry. My favorite is when he goes like this. Problems. Yeah, he's like, what did I do? Yeah. He's still here. My favorite is when Theo goes like this. Problems.

Yeah, he's like, what did I do? Problems. Problems. That's like a DUI is like a problem. Drugging and rape multiple people. No, like 50. 50. 50.

50. 50. When they can fill an entire magazine cover with all the women, that's a guy that's, Jesus Christ. You remember that cover? People would always bring about, they always brought up, they're like, you know, he could have, he was a very famous, very wealthy guy. He could have just slept with women, right?

Consensually. Yeah, but that's not the fun. Well, that's the thing, is that that's not what he's into. What he's into is, like, drugging and raping people. Well, I said the thing is that that's not what he's into right what he's into is right. Yeah like drugging and right people Well, I I said the same thing. I was like you're so rich you could you could meet a woman You could say you're gonna sign this NDA Consensually obviously, but here's what I do. Oh, yeah, you're gonna come in and pretend. We're doing a job interview I'm gonna literally drug you and I'm gonna have sex with you. He could have done all that legally

But it's what you just said. I like that face. That's fucking fantastic He they get off on the on the illegal well, you know what I mean Is like is that I got you here I gave you a drink and you passed out and then I can Would you guys have gone because he said he was gonna tour and he never did would you have gone I would have been There in a hundred percent. Yeah. Yes. Yeah Yeah, you would have been so here. I don't give the guy another dime. I feel like I already gave him my childhood, and then he disappointed me. I'm done. I'm tapped out of listening to this maniac.

The best thing ever, like this is a true psychopath move, is when he was on trial, he was walking to the courthouse, and there's cameras there, and as he's walking, he goes... Yeah, he does the thing. He starts to. Can you find that clip Josh? It is unbelievable dude and you're like, you're walking into a courthouse right now for a school assault charge and you're like,

bah. And then he does, oh this is a different one but this is all, he does hey hey hey on the way out of there. I remember. This is the college's 16 hour time, wow you feel it. one but this is all he does hey hey hey on the way out of there I remember who's more fucked up him for doing the fat Albert hey hey or the people screaming we love you Bill well that happens in celebrity culture now. That's crazy.

There's people that rejoiced, like with baby oil in the streets. Oh yeah. When Diddy wasn't convicted of the higher charge. I don't agree, I don't agree obviously with the people that were rejoicing or supporting the Diddy, period. I can at least understand, though, like, okay, you could be so not well-read, I guess, to a point that you could actually think that, or you must be in such denial, you could actually want to support this guy. I don't agree with it, but I can kind of understand it.

When it started to get into them condemning and chastising the woman. I was like, guys, this is insane. What the fuck is the matter with everybody? It's so crazy. They said, I met a guy that worked at the jail that he was in, because it was in Philly, Pennsylvania. And I was like, what was he like? And he was like, everybody loved him. He taught, he taught classes and shit, and he had a really nice time.

Yeah, I believe that. Like he never, that's the sociopath part. He never dropped the Cosby. Yeah. Yeah. There was never the part where he was like, I fucked up or whatever. He keeps up this fucking thing of being America's dad.

Well, it's so deep rooted in somebody at that point, right? Because he's also, when this is happening, he's like 80. So he's been, he's had that facade for like 60 years. There is no real self. There's no integrative. Is this it, is this the clip? Watch this, he's walking into court. in his suburban Philadelphia home. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ What do you think? I mean, my point is, it's like, I have water damage in my condo right now from a leak. The progressive inspector came out yesterday and I was like crumbled on the floor in the

corner. He was not going to assess the damage probably and I wasn't gonna get the money. I needed right it was like I don't what where are you that you could be facing this and going it? That's what I'm saying with the Russell Brand thing It's like to be facing these charges and me like I'm still gonna go do my fucking podcast It's insane to me. He can he could he He's able to do the separation so effortlessly, like this is not happening, I'm this guy. You know what I mean, he can compartmentalize it so elegantly at such a high level

because he's done it for so long. Like he's done it for so long and so well. Do you also, I think you're right, especially as you scored high on your psychopathy, on your personality assessment. I understand that you understand. But also, don't you think? It also has something to do with being a celebrity

and having that sense of like, I'm better than everybody and everyone loves me and worships me. There's your narcissism right there. And money? Russell Brand and both Cosby, they got cash, you know? Yeah. Is that the delusion that money insulates you as well from being punished?

Or like? It's probably some of that, but then I also imagine when you're operating at that level of finance, you're behind doors with a team of people saying Guys, we've seen this a million times. This is what's gonna happen This is the worst-case scenario and they're probably like if I get a year I can do it. I'll be fine. They'll protect me I'm famous. They'll put me in a fucking corner somewhere and nobody's gonna do anything to me. I guess I don't know But like what Woody Allen, whether...

Oh, my God. Whether you think he's innocent or guilty, and he's one of the most polarizing of any of these, but they said when he was doing Bullets Over Broadway, he says it in the documentary, and then people that worked with him, he was going through the shit with Mia Farrow and they said he would like be on set

and like he would get the call from the lawyer where the call was literally like, we're gonna fucking bury you, we're gonna say that you fucking murdered her, all this shit. And he said he would walk away and just come back 10 minutes later and just be like, ah, all right, where are we at?

And I was like, shut the movie down. Like even if you're innocent, shut the fucking movie down. I don't understand. I would be probably coming apart at the scene. Part of that thinking to me when you say that is probably him going, if I'm innocent, shouldn't I keep working? You know what I mean? He knows how to go ahead like nothing's wrong.

That's right. Yeah. Tom gets it. We know how Tom's gonna navigate it. Yes. Where's my wife? I don't know, I just went on standup tour. So if Christina's dead and I did it,

then I would do this, but I didn't do it, probably. So I should probably keep doing my show. Keep doing Two Bears. It is a great point. Keep up all facades. If you don't, then, you know, it looks... It's either that thinking for him, or it's back to the complete ability to compartmentalize,

where he's like, this is what's happening, but I'm a movie director and I got to do my job I I also think I also think it's something Excuse me It's something in your wiring. That is also the thing that allows you to hit that level of fame and success. Yeah There's something in your wiring there. There just has to be there has to be a true thread of narcissism. Like a true thread, you know? And it's like that will allow somebody to be like,

yeah, fucking, I'm gonna keep working. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just doesn't even doesn't register. It's like no I'm the president to the wedding Alan married his Adopted daughter. How is that even? Legal she wasn't his daughter. She was not his adopted daughter. This is where the gets murky He was never married to Mia Farrow. They never lived together. She was Mia Farrow's adopted daughter Mia Farrow when Sunni was 16 or 17, started pushing them to spend time

together, meeting her and Woody. Mia Farrow was also at that period actively introducing Sunni as being mentally retarded to people. There's a massive interview Sunni did. It's crazy. Why? Why? Why? Apparently Mia Farrow is a fucking monster. And other kids have come out. See Ronan's the one that gets all the big press because he's the writer.

Yeah. There's another brother in the family who is a lawyer who has come out and said, my brother has been indoctrinated by my crazy mother. My mother was a fucking cult leader. She was abusive to all of us. My father, Woody Allen, did not do anything. Now, questionable as it may be

to marry your ex-girlfriend's daughter. That's weird, I get it. I'm not arguing that, but. It's gross. Yeah, it's a little gross. Yeah, I don't mean little, like only a little. It's a little problem. It's a little problem, isn't it?

Wait, a guy can't be gross now? Good for him. But like, there's a lot, here's another interesting thing about Mia Farrow. Stanch supporter of Roman Polanski, who is a convicted p***o. That one has always, always stuck with me the most. And the reason it sticks with me the most

is that he is other level talent. This guy's an incredible director. He really does make, right? So you have to like, it always affects the way people respond to things, is your level of talent. Like what, if he was like Roman the Baker, you know people wouldn't be like you don't understand. No, no, it's a very talented guy And if you get into the details of this story, I've read about it. I've watched documentaries on it

It's like, you know, he there's no there's no disputing certain facts, right? He slept with a 13 year old girl in a hot tub after giving her champagne and she's 13. And by the way, in Jack Nicholson's hot tub, can you imagine, dude, my Joey Rose's sandwich shop in New York. Yes, which I want to ask you about. But if I see a review where somebody's like, the sandwich took 30 minutes, my stomach's on the ground. Can you imagine you get a call from your friend

and he goes, I just fucked a 13 year old in your pool. At your place. And you're just like, what the fuck did you just do? Yeah. Like, what? It's insane. Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to. No, no, no, it's a really crazy call to get.

Jack, it's Roman. I gotta tell you. He's like, wait, I didn't mean that. No, no, no. It's a really crazy call to get. Jack, it's Roman. I gotta tell you. He's like, wait, is everything okay? Everything's fine here. No, I didn't burn the place down. I did do a little bit of a naughty thing though. Also, good news. I just sold my old murder house to the full house guy.

But here's, this is what's crazy about this story. First of all, that you can bring it up and some people go like, you're still fucking talking it like, can you let the guy go? He's like, wait, what? So what happened was, he, he does get convicted of this. Yeah. And the judge, the judge at the time, the time tells him that he is, it says here, under the plea agreement,

the court ordered Polanski to report to a state prison for a 90 day psychiatric evaluation, granted him a stay to allow him to complete his current project. Under the terms of the court, traveled to complete filming. While in Europe for filming, he was photographed with his arms around multiple young girls, beer, whatever.

He subsequently ordered return to California and began his December evaluation. Was released after 42 of the 90 scheduled days. The lawyers for Polanski expected that Polanski would receive probation at the subsequent sentence hearing with the probation officer examining psychiatrists and all the victims, all recommending against prison time. Okay, during this time Pineski lost his job as a director. Okay, the attorneys said that

the presiding judge, written ban, suggested to them that he would send the director to prison and order him deported according to this documentary, which I watched, it's a good one, wanted and desired, Los Angeles deputy district attorney showed, written banned the photographs of Polanski partying in Munich with young girls and said Polanski was being cavalier about the charges involving the 13-year-old girl. This would constitute an ex-part communication. And he was technically a lawyer for one of the parties involved due to the work in the state of California. Polanski then became a fugitive from justice because this judge was going to sentence him more harshly than they had been led to believe.

See now that's interesting because I've heard people say, well, like it or not, Polanski did his time, and now he's, he didn't though, he fled. He fled. Yes, okay. He was a fugitive. And France was like, what'd you do, fuck a kid, come here. Don't care. So, so he fled in 1978 where he maintained a residence.

Oh, he went to London. Oh, he had citizenship in France. That's interesting. Thus avoiding the possible extradition to the United States by the United Kingdom. So the thing here is that the reason he fled was because they got word that the judge was like, everybody was like, oh, he's just going to get probation. So everything's going to be like, okay. And when the judge was like, oh, I see the photos, this guy's being a dipshit

about this, we're actually, I'm going to sentence him to prison. They were like, oh, then we're photos. This guy's being a dipshit about this. We're actually, I'm gonna sentence him to prison. They were like, oh, then we're actually gonna leave. I'm gonna flee. So the guy never faced justice, didn't face his sentence. And their whole thing is like, yeah, but the judge said he was gonna do this. And it turns out he was actually gonna, yeah, but like that's the price you gotta pay, right?

Yeah, they changed their mind. Judges changed their minds. It's fine. I'll tell you what's wild too. These sex crime celebrities, they're outdoing each other in the same way that content creators are outdoing each other. You know what I mean? It keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Look, Polanski, this is an insane story. This is insane. It's an insane story. Then you get to Weinstein, and you're like, that's a wild one. Wow, that's really fucked up. Then Cosby, and you're like, holy shit, I didn't think I'd see a guy that blows

Weinstein out of the water. Now Diddy. I know. Diddy's is like a global conspiracy. I'm like what the fuck with these guys? But Joe, you forget that like Weinstein, Cosby, these guys were doing this shit in 1960 something, Cosby starts doing this shit, right?

Or the 70s. So it's been going on forever. It's just now because of the Me Too movement or what people are talking. If you look at, there is some documentary about Marilyn Monroe I mean she had to sleep her way into getting roles and both the Kennedy brothers were banging her when she died and Yeah, you know there's it's always been creeper Rama. Yeah, yeah people in power can be creeps Yeah, it's just now. We're I think finally hearing it. Now it's considered like, oh yeah, that's bad.

We shouldn't be doing that. Yeah, when that stuff started, it was like, everybody was like, that's just how things work. Yeah. But I mean, the Polanski one has always stood out to me, mostly because there's kind of a universal thing that most people have, where you go, someone's underaged, it's just, we don't pardon it.

We don't go like, yeah, you know, like a 13 year old, you go like, no, like you're fucked, dude. Yeah, you're a piece of shit. And by the way, you're way under. Yeah, this isn't 17. Yeah, it's not like, gosh, she was 16, I'm sorry, I thought she was 18. It's like, no dude, she was 13, you're way under.

Didn't Sinatra have sex with Mia Farrow when she was a teenager as well? Or Mia Farrow loses her virginity to Frank Sinatra or something? They were married. And she was a minor. No, I don't think she was a minor. Okay, never mind. Well, she was 19. No, so she wasn't a minor, but...

But that's serious. He was swag, dude. He was 50 when she was 19. Yeah, no, so she wasn't a minor but but that's that's serious. He was flagged dude He was 50. Yeah, but I'll also say this about Sinatra huge that's As if as an almost 50 year old man, I don't think I would ever date a 19 year old why I Just what the fuck do you talk about? even know like Things are into her baba I just, what the fuck do you talk about? You know, I don't even know like. Partoons? Things you're into? Music? Her ba-ba.

No, you know what I mean? But I will say this about Sinatra. He was married many times, and that's the only time he married a woman that young. If every time he married somebody, it was that young, that's when I would start to be like, what are you doing? What are you doing when you're not marrying him that young. That's when I would start to be like, what are you doing? What are you doing when you're not marrying him?

Yeah. You know what I mean? But this always existed with child brides and- Mackenzie, I'm sorry. No, no, I'm just thinking back to my time. I was getting into goth clubs when I was 14 with a bullshit fake ID. I had to be 18.

Like, no one cares. Oh, when I was- Back then, 90s. When I was coming up in the, I guess I'm more a child of the 90s than the 80s because eighth grade and high school was the 90s. Yeah, I'm 94, I graduated high school. When I was, it was like not, it was not that weird if a 22 year old dude

was dating a 16 year old girl. Like nobody was like right on, but the parents weren't like no, no, no, no, no. It was kind of just like, ah okay, I guess isn't she kind of young? The thing with Polanski you keep going back to is like he's 43. He's 43, dude.

He's 43 and she's 13. He's a pediophile for sure. Yeah, buddy. He's a pedophile for sure. Yeah Yeah, buddy Video he um great movies near and hurt by the way. This is we all got onto this cuz of Mia Farrow The her brother is a convicted and jailed Mia's no There's so much shit about me a Pharaoh that gets left out of that discussion Hmm that nobody brings up and it starts to... and again I don't know if the

guy's guilty or not, I wouldn't fucking there, but it's like it it definitely muddies the waters of the conversation. Well especially if you know she's a victim of something too, you don't know what kind of thing she grew up in. She could have been groomed from very early age and not see a problem with doing certain things. In Woody Allen's biography. Let's see this cool guy's face. What's that?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. He has an autobiography that he read, that he reads the audio book of it and throughout the book. Because he talks about how Mia Farrow said that I rate Sun Yi she said that she was So throughout the book he'll go he'll go People say like what is it? What how does your marriage work and I say communication for instance. I'll say to my wife Sun Yi as a

It's really funny. Yeah. Anyway. That's very funny. Wow. What else we got? We got, we covered Hitler. We covered.

Guys, I know. I love it. What a good day. Here's a fun one. I'm having a great time. This is fun. Check this out. So this lady is a news anchor.

Let's see the area she's in. This is from Albany, New York. She claimed that during this shift to do the news, she had sleep deprivation and exhaustion. You tell me what you think was going on. Okay. All right, so, well, hello, good afternoon. Like I was telling you this morning,

if you watched us this morning, starting at six a.m., seven a.m., I told you, you know what, today, what a beautiful day outside. It is just amazing. You know, the exhibit is open until August, so you can still check that out. Discover Schenectady, you should really check that out. They do so many good things.

Schenectady's a leader's there. Moving on tonight, is we have to tell you also, other things are happening in the area and across the area, in the nation. A four-year-old girl is actually dead. Another man is clinging to life. Ha ha! She's actually dead.

Yeah. Keep her employed. I hope she does it this way every day. I mean, it's alive. Ha ha! She's actually dead. Yeah. Keep her employed. I hope she does it this way every day. I mean, the hair. The hair. I know. This is what I love. And I don't mean to be shitty, but it's like, lady,

you already got a trailer trash aesthetic going on. Yeah. You're lucky to be on TV. She's coming in. Shit up. 6 AM news. This is not the 5 o'clock. She's coming in. Shit up, 6 a.m. news. This is not the five o'clock. She's up at 3 a.m.

Even watching us is this morning? And we are just lucky. This weekend right here is so amazing. Meteorologist Craig Adams is right here with us here. I'm sorry, Craig Adams. Why did I say that? And of course, just like me, meteorologist Craig Gold is working a double shift.

All right, you know, tonight for more Saturday baseball, the New York Mets back in action in New York's series against their national league rival, Miami Marlins. You know how much we love the Mets. Is there any video of her outside of this where she's not hammered? For sure, for sure. I would love to see, yeah's like ron burgundy yeah that yes that's perfect the microphone part oh my god these guys

are gonna love us you know my favorite people five people died here. This is her not hammered Very tan Campaigned in the key election state of Michigan today It was Trump's first rally since last Saturday's event in Pennsylvania that turned tragic with an attempt on his life Yeah, there you go. I'm she's spied on here You should really check that out. She was spot on there. She was great there. Maybe she was sleep.

She said she's working a double. Maybe is there a chance like she was? I guess, but I mean, there's something else is there, right? Like something. maybe an ambient You know, I think an ambient try to sleep for three hours So then you guys there's a for real. It's actually dead. That was crazy. They people kill people Reminds me of Maria your sister. Yeah. Oh my god you guys this news today is so crazy. Yeah Everything's so crazy in the world. It's like fucked up. That's why I don't watch this shit, but I'll tell you what's going on

That's totally how she would do the news Yes, yes, seriously, I'm just sorry. I'll tell you Jay this sounds to me just news later when she said the thing about the double I feel like that's like You live they're making us work a fucking double. Yeah, we're drinking. Yeah, we're drinking. That's what it is and it got away from her wait I want to ask you this before just for people know where did you shoot? I never promised you a rose garden the new special so I Live between here in Pennsylvania

And there's a small town in Pennsylvania called Phoenixville And it's right next to the town I grew up in. I really love Phoenixville quite a bit. And there's a historic theater there called the Colonial Theater. It's where they shot the, if you ever saw the blob, the one from the 50s, the scenes in the movie theater, and then the scenes where they're all running out

of the movie theater because of the blob attacks. That was all shot at this theater in Phoenixville. So it's a historic landmark. And I shot the special in one of the rooms in Phoenixville. So I basically got to shoot a special in my hometown. That's very cool. And it was very, very cool. The aesthetic of the place really matched

the aesthetic we were going for in the special because it's a very, I keep calling it a hopeless comedy special. It's all funny and it's all very casual, but it's very negative. There's just zero hope in the whole thing. It's about we're done. We've declined. It's never going to get better. It's over. It's over. So yeah, it was fun, man. I mean, doesn't this feel like, I mean, first of all, congrats on that. Thank you. And if you wanna watch it,

you gotta go to Joe's YouTube channel to I Never Promised You A Rose Garden. Also, again, check him out live. Tickets are at joderosa.com. And the channel's at Joderosa Comedy. But it does kind of feel like this is the end of an empire, doesn't it't it like the whole feels like everything's tipped. I Yeah, I've never

Felt I Mean I'm I know I'm I get it. I have certain fantasies. I go to when I feel a little hopeless One of them like when I start getting in the existential crisis place, I have certain fantasies that I go to, and they're by degree of how bad things are. So my low level one is Best Buy. I think about leaving everything and working at Best Buy,

because my theory is, is you never go into Best Buy mad. You're going in to buy a TV or a computer or an Xbox. Everybody in there's in a good mood. I'm like, wouldn't it be nice just to talk to a guy about cables? Just what kind of cable do you need, sir? Are you looking for a charger, whatever. It's so, so that's my low level one.

My high level one is emptying out my bank account and buying the nicest RV I can buy and just, that's it. I kinda like that. I'm just done. That's a good one. You know? I like that one. And I'm having that one a lot lately. That's a good one. That's the one I would act on.

That's a good one. Yeah. I mean. Cause you could live out the rest of your days that way if you picked the right country to live in. Yeah. I think so. Wouldn't you just take that thing just go out West, you know I mean like to the to the Pacific Northwest somewhere. Yeah, I'd go I'd spend a lot of time up there I'd go to Utah. I'd go to I drove across I bought I have a Ford Bronco and I bought it

I actually was in LA just for work and When I was there, I saw the bracos. It was because it was right after COVID and you couldn't get them. It was like my dream. I was like, I want one of these fucking Broncos. Yeah. And I saw one all black, black tinted windows, black rim. I was like, that's the fucking car.

I want it. Murdered out. And this place had it and I bought it. And I was like, well, I got to get it back to New York where I live. So I drove it and I had nothing but time, so dude, I took three weeks to drive across the country. I kept stopping, I was zigzagging.

It was one of the best experiences of my entire life. That's so cool. That's nice. It was amazing. I was at Utter Peace out there. The second I drove through the Lincoln Tunnel, I wanted to kill myself again, and it was all just, it was just back to the shit. But that, those areas, when you get out into those mountains,

you know, it was amazing. And people are like, did you take a lot of pictures? I'm like, no, I didn't. And well, why? You saw this beautiful stuff. And I had this thing that while I was out there, not to get corny, but I had this thing while I was out there where I was get corny, but I had this thing while I was out there where I was like,

you don't take pictures of the God moments. You take pictures of the people moments. If I meet you guys in a bar and I'm traveling and we're strangers and we start having drinks and all of a sudden I'm like, I met these two really cool people that I never would. That's what you, we take a selfie. Remember those two people?

They were cool. What you don't do is take a picture when you're standing on the edge of a fucking canyon. And your iPhone is not capturing this. So just take it in, take in the God moment and just go, I saw that, it's somewhere in here. It was such a great experience, man. I don't know.

I haven't done a road trip in so long now. Like it's been so long. They're tough to do, you know? It's, you gotta make sure everything back home is, you know, taken care of, which is a lot, especially you guys are kids and stuff, you know? Like that's a lot. And then, you know, to be able to do it,

they're hard to do because the ultimate goal with a road trip is you want it to be open-ended. You want it to be where there is no trajectory or whatever and you can end up anywhere at any point, any time, like on a whim, but that's hard to do the older you get, you know? You're like, no, we have a two-week window. But anyway, the RV fantasy is, We have two we have a two-week window. What do you know? Yeah, so but anyway

the RV fantasy is is I Started having that when I really feel like society I'm just I don't understand what's going on anymore and the more I AI shit. I fucking freaking me out. I don't know I just don't feel comfortable. I think it's normal. It's healthy to be Apprehensive about it I think it's normal. It's healthy to be apprehensive about it Yeah, it's horrible Perfect oh my god, please send me that

This is your fantasy you look so cool to see your fantasy. I would love this Look how much happier you look so thrilled to be working there. I know. So you're buying a TV, huh? Yeah. What do you want that for, to watch the news? You fucking idiot. Do you know Jeff Tate, the comedian Jeff Tate?

He's so funny. He is, because he had a pitch. He has a bit about having worked at Best Buy. It is so fucking funny. And the bit, which I'm sorry to butcher, but is that when you work there, there's like a Bible under the registers for the different stations that tell you,

there's Jeff Tate, tells you the lowest price you can actually sell something for that customers don't know. So when sometimes people would be like, oh, I like this TV, but it's 1100. What if you guys could do it for like 900? And then Jeff would go, what about 700? And they'd be like, wait, what?

He's like 650, best I can do. And they're like, sure. So he would start giving people deals because it'd be like fuck best buy So wait, you can barter at Best Buy. I guess that's what yeah, but people don't know So that must be cuz you know, they honor the price match. Yeah, so they must know what the what the price match is Okay, lowest pricing of this for his Amazon for this much and then but they make you say it and prove it Yeah, cuz you I

always have to show them on my phone this is being sold by Amazon yeah $300 cheaper whatever and then they'll match it yeah and they're like okay you know that's crazy that they do yeah but his bit about it is so fucking hilarious that's fucking wild yeah Jeff's funny where does Jeff live now now he lives in Portland nice yeah Portland, but yeah. I'm with him on the road all the time. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's great.

Can you really haggle at Best Buy? Yes. Is this from his bit or is this, what is this? No, I just Googled negotiating at Best Buy. First we're gonna go shopping towards the end of the month. Best Buy gives its floor managers sales goals and they really want to hit them, yeah. That is wild.

How new is this article? No date? But the thing is, the main thing you have to do is ask, right? You have to ask. You got any wiggle room on that? You just ask. I just never would have imagined

in a corporate store you could do that. It's a revelation, man. But my mom, who's a fucking Peruvian, goes into like department stores, and she's like, how about 50? I'm like, mom, this is Bloomingdale's. They're not gonna fucking. Do they do it?

No, of course not. They're like, are you crazy lady? I can't fucking negotiate here. This is insane that that's a thing. That's a real thing. Holy shit. All right, let me show you these real quick before we... You just tell me whether this falls under

horrible or hilarious to you. Okay. Okay. So far I like it. It's a pallet, Jack. Still looking at your phone. It's not how you do that sir. You should be looking up sir. Oh Jesus Christ. I'm going to go hilarious on that one.

You know why? It's because it's the angle. So we just see somebody go down and we don't see the aftermath and the broken bones and the screaming and everything that Could get funnier. Yeah could get funny. Yeah, I like the audio on I know the audio would be great The audio really would be great. I mean, it's just insane. What is All right, I won't go down there My father had a forklift business for like his whole life. And he would teach forklift safety to people.

And he's like, you'd be so surprised how stupid people are. They're getting drunk, operating forklifts, operating this stuff. It happens a lot. Yeah. People get hurt a lot. The drunks especially. Yeah, cause a lot of these guys are drunks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because a lot of these guys are drunks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's... No, no, no. I mean, back in my dad's day, they were drinking. Because he worked with like Romanians and shit, Eastern Europeans. Also the cost, excuse me, the cost of the upkeep of thorough training is...

It's fucking impossible. It's so hard, it's so much. To operate a business like the way you're supposed to, it is so expensive. It's so much. Yeah. Especially that stuff, that's like warehouse equipment. Who is fucked?

That guy is mega fucked. He's done. What was he, that thing he was dragging looked heavy. Yeah, it was a pallet jack? It's a pallet jack. Yeah, check this out. So this is at an intersection and you see the guy in the bucket,

he's working on the stoplight. Oh, I hate this shit. I would never do this job. I'm so afraid of this. The music's crazy. And the truck just. Ooh! That's fucked up.

That's not cool, dude. That's horrible. It's pretty horrible. Luckily though, the guy in there, this is a great lesson, he's wearing his harness. So that's why he doesn't fall out and die. Yeah. He took his safety training.

He took his safety training because it's probably state funded safety training, you know, instead of privately. Yeah, no, exactly. Now does the truck stop? I don't know. Or does it not even know it hit him? I don't think it knows for a second,

but yeah, I don't know if it stopped or not or kept going. Yeah, that's horrible Not his fault. Yeah, not his fault This is gonna be good. Jodorosa, DeRosa sandwiches That's your sandwich. Oh You're laughing. Can I tell you something? There is nothing worse than being fat and And getting in an accident while eating even if it's not your fault. It's the worst fucking imaginable thing

that happens to a fat guy. Every time I've ever been eating and fat in a car, you're just like, I hope no one sees me, I hope nothing bad happens. Like your nightmare is this. This is the worst. He's like, he's choking and he's's like I'm fat. I'm fucking eating and Creamy food makes it work

Mayo and shit. Yeah, I can't tell that's an eclair or a chicken salad Yeah the squish out it's like a chicken. Oh, you dropped some on his stomach. Ow! Oh. Fuck. And right now he's going, do I keep eating? Do I spit this out? And he's mad that he dropped a sandwich.

Of course he's mad. He's like, fuck, that was a good one, too. His next thought is, as soon as this gets resolved, I'm going to get another sandwich. Yeah. The spill on the belly right before it happens, because the spill makes him look down and not see That guy hit him full fucking speed man. Yeah, well and this is a job because it's a dashboard cam facing him Right, so this is his means of employment

So his boss is gonna be like you fat fuck you were eating again. No, I told you not to eat in my car I gotta tell you something, I don't know if we have discussed this. You're the only one that leaves crumbs in here, Jimmy. I love sandwiches. Oh. And you have a sandwich place. I do.

I've never been to it. So cool. Thank you. That's for New York. I want a sandwich place. No, I wanna go. That sounds awesome. Tell me what is like, what are the, because I've actually asked, I'm like, I know DeRosa's got a sandwich and that people have told me They're like, oh, it's really good. Yeah, it's we're very lucky People enjoy the sandwiches as much as we hope they would it's called a Joey roses It's on Rivington Street 174 Rivington in the Lower East Side neighborhood of New York City

And yeah, it's we you know in the Lower East Side neighborhood of New York City. And yeah, it's, we, you know, it just was kind of born out of the idea that, I just kind of hit a, well, I started kind of creating a lot of these when I lived in LA, and it was kind of hard to find East Coast style sandwiches out there. And then I started writing the recipes down, then I felt like I was onto a few things,

and, but the reason we opened the shop was I was frustrated with New York I was tired of not being able to find these East Coast style sandwiches easily and then when you did find them they were like 17 18 20 dollars, you know I was like there's got to be a better way to do this and I was like there's got to be a better way to do this and that was the sort of mission statement of The of the place and the comedy community has been incredibly incredibly supportive, you know, there's a tell and Cougine it came through and

The fans have been coming through Rogan Bless his heart man. Like he's he's shouted us out so many times. It's really a beautiful thing. I'm going back in a couple months. I'm definitely gonna go. Please, let me know when you're gonna go. Yeah, I wanna go now. I'd love to, I'd love to.

I love, I mean I love the, like I love these style sandwiches, man. The craziest person that came was, so I was at Mother Ship one night and Bradley Cooper was there. And I was talking to Bradley Cooper about his cheesesteak place. Cause he has a cheesesteak place in New York.

And I was like, hey dude, we're both from Philly, I actually wanna talk to you about your cheesesteaks. And he's like, oh right on dude. So we started talking and I was like, yeah I have a sandwich place. I go, I'm doing the opposite. We just do cold sandwiches. He's like, no way.

We talked for like an hour about sandwiches. And I was like, what made you do cheese steaks? And he's like, I couldn't find them in LA. So I started making them myself. I'm like, dude, that's what I did. So there was all this weird kinship in the backstory. And then he gave me his number, and he's like, I wanna come by sometime,

and I'm like, cool. And the next day, I'll never forget this, I was sitting across the room from my phone, and I was like, I wanna text Bradley Cooper, say hi, it was nice to meet you. You know? And I felt like, I was like, don't do that. I was so in my head about it,

and I went and looked at my phone, and he texted me, and I felt like I was like don't do that I was like I was so in my head about it and I went and looked at my phone and he Texted me and he goes bro. I just got off the plane. I'm headed to your shop Tell me what to get right now. Oh my god And he got like four sandwiches Insisted on paying which I thought was really cool. Yes. I was like do a hooky up. He's like fuck that dude Come on, and then he FaceTimed me from his car. Eating the sandwich. Eating it. And he goes, fucking sick, bros. It was nuts. It was so cool, man.

That's awesome. He's the man. But yeah, the entertainment community, fans and performers alike have been so supportive. Also, I gotta say, looking at that and thinking about New York, they're 10 bucks. This says 10 bucks for all of it. They're 10 bucks now, yeah. I will admit that, you know, despite what our original mission statement was,

it's getting harder and harder. These eight are 10. These were eight when we opened. Jesus, man. We had to up them to 10. That's why it's called the heart eight It was eight sandwiches for in 10 piece Two years maybe you can you can raise the price. We have specialty sandwiches. That's that go up to 16

Yeah, that makes sense But I can't and I'm not trying to martyr myself or sound like a great guy or what, you know I'm truly not like it kills me that we have to go as high as even I guess These are 14 to go as high as even 14 like it bothers me man But I know but that's look these that's still a really great price point especially in Manhattan. That's nuts That's fucking we were just in LA And I went to this to this gym. Yeah, and then I was like oh oh after the workout they're like, oh, there's a place over there I was gonna like I just wanted something like oh they have protein shake like yeah

They have smoothies protein shakes and one of the guys was like kind of expensive I just like clocked it and I was like, alright, I go over there. I get a fucking just hey Can I get the super protein smoothie? $23. What? And I was like, what? And he was like, I go for one? He was like, oh yeah, yeah. I'm like, it's 23 bucks for this smoothie? That's fucking crazy.

Crazy. Crazy. But Angelino's have a different scale. But so does, I mean, Manhattan is crazy. Manhattan is getting crazy. Now look, here's the thing. There's the required higher pricing because it's like we have to keep our lights on.

And then there's the people that are like, you know we can get away with a lot more than what we're charging. And fuck those people. Fuck those people. And you know, I won't name names, but you know, there are a few delis, well, there's one in particular in New York.

That gouged people. At this point, it's like, I think it's $26 a sandwich. What? Bring up old... Don't you dare give them publicity. I know, can you bleep what I'm... Yeah, there it is. I won't say the name. Let's see what the price on that sandwich is right now. 28.95!

For a pastrami? 28.95! And guess what? Well, I can say whatever because I'm not saying their name. They don't even fucking make it in house. No. They don't make it in house? No, I met these guys that worked at a firehouse,

and they were like, dude, you should come down on Thursday night to the firehouse. I was like, why? It's a weird invite, you know? And they were like, we got the guy that makes the pastrami for X. He's bringing us that pastrami, and we do a sandwich night, it's awesome.

And I go, wait a minute, what do you mean the guy that makes it? And he goes, yeah, that's who they get it. I go, they don't even fucking make it there? It's embarrassing. That's terrible, and you know what? Their matzo ball soup looks like shit, I can tell. Right, Josh?

Dog shit. Dog shit. Dog shit. No noodles in there? This is a great- Chris. With the ball? Chris, line out the fucking corner. Line around the fucking corner.

Oh, you're calling me Chris? Yeah, I was calling you Chris. Aw. Yeah, yeah. I like that for you. I'm starting to be endearing. Yeah. Line around the fucking block.

For this piece of shit? Yeah, because everybody's a fucking idiot. Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something? I'm a good judge of food from photos being a road dog for so many years. This shit sucks. These photos are terrible.

Your photos of your Sandys are a thousand times better than this dog shit. Look at these lines. Get the fuck out of here. That's totally why that price goes that way. It's a tourist thing. Were they in like... We shot a movie scene here once.

Yeah, that's what it is. This is dog shit. Yeah. You know what, Joe? It was already an institution, I think, but this really put it on the map. So we need to just film something at your place and then bada bing.

We shot a couple things there, but nothing that's reached this iconic status. You wait and see. You put it out there as a location. You gotta put a Bo-Job scene there. And then it's like, let's go to get the fucking BJ there. And let all the magic take place there. I wish you could send us Sandys,

but then they wouldn't be fresh, right? No, there's a way to mail them where it's good enough, but it's not ideal. No, you wanna pick it up. But we did a pop-up during South by Southwest. Here? Oh. Yeah, next time we do it, we'll send you a platter.

Please, please. Because we sent one to the mothership and then to Esther's Follies. We sent them to all the six streets. Hey, we're still here, man. You can send it here next time. Yeah, I will. Yeah.

Oh, yours are way better. I can tell already. I love your PB&J with the chips in it. Thank you. That's brilliant. I was proud of that one. That's brilliant. I love that.

And that's gotta be fresh because you want the crunchiness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the chips, hopefully are usually ruffled. Sometimes you can't get ruffled. Yeah, that other place, man. Oh, ruffled is key. That place.

Key, bro, key, bro. It's just fuckin'. Will you call me Chris forever? I'll call you Chris. Nobody calls me that. I'll call you Chris forever. That's only you though, you're the only person. No one calls me that, that's why I didn't respond.

Nobody's ever called you that? I don't let them, because it makes me feel like I'm a lesbian tennis player, so I never do it. In my whole life, I don't wanna be called Chris. But for you, I'll let it happen. You're not a lesbian. I'm not a lesbian. That is right.

Wait, you might have had these. They, Ari got them. I wasn't there. Oh, she wasn't there. I may have, I don't recall, I don't think I was, I don't remember. They were awesome though. He was on the diet.

Oh, thanks buddy. They're fucking great. Thank you. We're all big fans in here. Aw. All right, look, we have to wrap up. Yeah. This was so fun.

I love you, Joe. Love you guys. So congratulations, Joe, the new special, I Never Promised You A Rose Garden is on his YouTube channel. Go get tickets to see Joe live at joderosa.com and always good to see you, man. Dude, great to see you guys. I really appreciate you having me on.

It's really nice. Anytime. We'll see you guys next week. Bye, mommy. You're obviously a smart girl and you're attracted to me. Am I attracted to you? You're attracted to me. You're obviously a smart girl and you're attracted to me.

Am I attracted to you? You're attracted to me. Look, man, you're obviously attracted to me. You're obviously smart girl. You're attracted to me You're attracted to me. You're obviously attracted to me. You're a smart girl Look man, you're obviously attracted to me. I'm attracted to you. You're attracted to me. We can do six or eight You're obviously smart girl. You're attracted to me. We can do six or eight You're obviously attracted to me. We can do six or eight. Look, man, you're obviously attracted to me. We can do six or eight. You're obviously a smart girl. You're attracted to me. We can do six or eight. Look, man, you're obviously attracted to me. We are obviously two catches that have actually come together. We are two catches that have come together. We are two catches that have come together. We are obviously two catches that have actually come together.

We can do six or eight. We are obviously two catches that have actually come together. Literally the best hidden cap gem in the city. We are obviously two catches that have actually come together. We are two catches that have come together. We can do six or eight. We can do six or eight. We are two catches that have come together. We are two catches that have come together. We are two catches that have come together.