Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Shitting Gold w/ David Cross | Your Mom's House Ep. 856

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! And it's finally here! Only at https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ . Get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $29.99. Get it now! Check out David Cross' newest special The End Of The Beginning Of The End at https://officialdavidcross.com/ SPONSORS: - Head to https://Wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Way Day. - Find LUCY near you at lucy.co/stores, or save 20% on your first online order at https://lucy.co/YMH with promo code YMH. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. Mommy! On this episode of Your Mom's House, Tom and Christina talk about Tina's recent performances and how she's actively working to the make the Comedy Mothership gayer. They then open the show with another clip courtesy of Kinky Unc, before moving on to cool gmail guy, some cool chiropractors, and that knucklehead cornhole pro with no limbs. The mommies are then joined by actor and comedian David Cross. David promotes his new comedy special THE END OF THE BEGINNING OF THE END, produced by Tom and YMH Studios and gets a hard lesson in TikTok slop before the trio discuss everything from college education to gold dipped steak. They also talk furries, British fetishes, Roosevelt Island, the Perfect Smile, Machu Picchu, and a clip so wild, David Cross had to get out of his seat to get a closer look! Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 856 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:07:32 - Opening Clip: Stop Teasing Me 00:19:02 - Can't Trust Internet Girls 00:23:26 - Really Cool Chiropractors 00:30:40 - Quadriplegic Cornhole Pro 00:38:26 - Clip: Strong Ass Fish 00:40:31 - David Cross & College Education 00:49:18 - The End of the Beginning of the End 00:59:44 - Golden Shit 01:06:28 - Roosevelt Island & Silver Lake 01:15:22 - TikToks 01:22:40 - Fake Plastic Teeth 01:26:01 - Furries & Fetishes 01:31:36 - More TikToks 01:39:50 - Closing Song - "TikTok All Stars" by Captain Marc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your mother is doing stand-up. And I've just added Brea, California, June 5th, and 6. Get your tickets at ChristinaP.com. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Amazon presents Laura versus fruit flies. Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen. These little freaks multiply it around.

that would make a rabbit say, yo, chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. Welcome to another episode of your mom's house. We're going to talk about some hard-hitting real stuff this week. Get ready. There's a crisis happening in the world, and we're the place to figure out how to resolve it.

That's right, Tim. That's right. So a lot of serious issues that we're going to get into on this show. A couple of things to just let you know. The end, Ari Shafir's storytelling show, is out. It's at YMH Studios.com right now. We produced it. It's an epic, I believe.

Is it six? Seven, seven parts is it? Seven. Seven episodes. Crazy lineup. Shane Gillis, Nate Bargazzi, Tony Hinchcliff, Miss Pat. Chris DeStefano, Ali Sadiq, Jordan Jensen, and so on and so on. I'm in one of the episodes. It's a lot of fun and we put a lot into it and it came out amazing. So please check it out if you

have not. It's at YMH Studios.com. Also, Gene over here is on the road. I'm road do mothership this weekend and thank you to everybody who came out. The shows were extraordinary and it was so much fun. And I'm going to keep it going. My first tour doing an hour in a while. I know. And it's so good. I haven't done stand-up in like two years because of that whole- Envisaline, I remember.

But now you're talking about- Talking about invisibleine and how hard it was for you to go through that. April 24th and 25th, Irving, Texas, at the punchline. And then comedy works. Yes, it does. Comedy and prayer, May 14 and 16 in Denver. September 18th and 19th at the Dent Theater in Chicago, Illinois is also. Illinois, not Illinois.

It's Illinois, plural. Also, buy your mother some lip shits for Mother's Day. It's coming upon us. Order it now, right now in time for the holidays. Get all of it as a bundle. Get the liquid lipstick, get the perfect red, all at ChristinaP.com. Exciting stuff. Can I say what I've been doing?

Yeah. When I'm getting ready for YMH, I go live on the TikToks. So if you want to find me on, I'm the Christina P, right? I don't know what the fuck I am on TikTok. And you can watch me put my makeup on and I listen to really cool tunes. And I talk to you and I tell you stuff. It's just Christina P. Oh, it's Christina P.

It's the Christina P on Instagrams. My favorite thing is that we share an agent who is kind of a musical savant. Yes. The guy he can play piano. He can just hear something and play it. He has this crazy. like almost like encyclopedic knowledge of music and history and stories. And anytime your, your preferences come up, he's like, I don't know what's going on there, man.

He hates it. He hates my music. He hates Bauhaus. It's so funny. He hates goth music. Well, I said to tell you the most fun I had this weekend was at Comedy Mothership, which, as we all know, is owned by the great Joe Rogan. Yeah. And it's usually the energy is very.

Joe Rogan, kettlebells. Yeah. Mail driven. Mail driven. God bless him. Love him. Well, this guy took over last weekend. Yeah, you did.

And I don't think Joe would have liked what I did because I played the gayest, gothiest music. You played your music. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not the, like yours. Yeah.

Things that make you, things that I've been hearing through a shut closet door for years now. I'm like, what is this? Who's dead in there? Yeah. And that, yeah, that was your load in music, right? It was so much fun. And, yeah, and then we were talking about feelings in the green room, which I don't think has ever happened. Probably not as much.

How are you feeling? Dudes were crying in the green room. We were just talking about life, listening to the Smiths. Look at you. Look at you. Look at you. You're a garrilla. You're a goth lady.

I'm a gothic. Can I tell you something? Dice hung out with me at the club a few months ago, and he goes, I like what you're wearing. I like that skirt. You got to keep wearing. What is that? What is that tool? I'm like, yeah.

He's the man. I figure if Dice tells you it's a good outfit. No, it's cool. And he's an iconic outfit guy. The most iconic, yeah. And it's so much fun. The crowds are great. I made a trans friend in the front row.

That's unique. We're going to have coffee and she's going to tell me about how she became from a man to a lady. That's interesting. I know. I'm so curious because she's like a hot one. She's not like a. Not the one where you're like, you need a consultant. Yeah, not like last week.

That's one of the things on the talk sometimes. We just see like a guy, a guy and just heels and a dress. And he's just like, I feel strong, I feel good today. And you're like, whew. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. And then people are like, you look beautiful. Thank you.

No. Yeah, it's like a dude, like you in heels and a tight pencil skirt. There's that guy. I mean, I'm just shaking my head. the fact that I don't know how somebody who has not worn heels can wear heels. It's so hard. I don't understand. I can barely.

And I'm 50 and I can't. I still can't walk in them. It's so hard. Yeah. Can you try? I've stood in them before. It really was awful. Really?

Yeah. I mean like, you know, that kind of thing where you go, let me try this on. And you're like, holy shit. How does anyone take two steps in this? I don't get it. Yeah. Did you know that in like the 1700s, 1800s in front? that men wore heels. Yeah, but that was like a, not like the heels that a woman wears today. Those

were like thicker, right? Like wider heels. A kitten heels. They're a kitten heel. Yeah, not these stiletto things. Not the horror stripper heels, no. The podiatrist in LA told me he was like, oh yeah, like a huge part of my business are women who refuse to stop wearing these. Yeah. And just keep damaging their nerves and their feet are just completely destroyed. But they do look so good. They look good. They look amazing. They look good. And they make, they elongate the leg and everything. Beautiful. Now my mother wore heels everywhere. It's because she was only five foot five maybe and she felt short.

So a lot of times short broads wear the heels. All kinds of broads wear heels. It's not just short broads. Short broads, wide broads, tall broads. They just want to feel like a broad because I guess it does make you feel like a lady. You feel like a broad. And my mother would wear those heels to grocery store to everywhere. She never, never not heels.

And lipstick, red lipstick's like me. That's a real commitment. I know, I should get into it. But you know what happened? I got that planter's fat shititis in my right foot. Heels not good for that. Nope. I don't think your doc would say, put some heels on.

No, no, of course not. It's terrible. You got to wear like ortho shoes. That's why it looks terrible. Now I wear the ugliest fucking shoes. They do look awful. They do. Awful.

But it's like, what are you going to prioritize? Looking a certain way or like healing yourself. Pain, yeah. Planner's fat shititis. Yep, yep. All right. You ready to start the show? I got a cool clip.

Stop teasing me with those eyes. Ha! He pussy like I'm star. I pull her, slap ass, and I will fuck you like I own you. What's going on today? Don't make me show you why good girls bite pillows and can't walk straight. Who is Randy? He's oily, too.

He's oiled up. Welcome. Welcome. And the smile doesn't match. No. The message. Welcome to your mom's house. Ugh.

I hate this so much. Don't you hate it? Miao, meow, meow, meow, meow. Miao, me know. Feel it. Can you go to his page to remind people that he also does uplifting messages? because that's really how he built his following was this. One day you'll look back and realize,

I wasn't the one who got away. I was the one who tried, the one who stayed, the one who cared when you didn't. And that's the part that hurts the most. You didn't lose me. You lost a version of me. You will never get again.

Okay. That's sweet. That's a sweet message. But he also does, like, if you go to his page, He also just does things about like scroll down, scroll, scroll some more. I like when he's like well-dressed. Look, his legs are oily too. The whole body's oily.

Like before God elevates there, like you scroll up, like, you know. Before God elevates you, he will do three things in your life. One, he will reveal those around you, showing you who is truly for you and who is not. He's reading it. He reads all of them. that are not amazing. Even the horny ones? I think some of them he reads.

But the point is that like, that is how people were like, oh, this is a nice, this is a nice message, you know. And then he's like watching that. You're watching that and you're like, I go to this guy's page. And he's like, here's some words of wisdom. And then just one day you're scrolling and it's like. I had a tremble breath moaning between every sound she couldn't hold back. I mean close and whispered. He's reading like erotic passages there.

Yeah, yeah. I don't like his shit nail to his walls. But it's also- Nipple pinchers and stuff. It's also such a crazy pivot To be like, God will provide the things that you need in this life. And then he's like, I will beat the pussy up And make you bite the pillow.

All right, now I'll tell you that story. I got a phone call one day. I wanted to make this thing. It's a way for other comics to show themselves. Oh, that's right. You're not hosting your own show. They did them dirty. I already have figured out a way to put it up somewhere else.

You thought about bringing it back. All the time, I need your and Tom's help. You guys ready for this? Okay. It's a fucking crazy night we're gonna have here. Shit's about to go down. Look. And we're here to talk, ball.

Storytelling show telling true, true stories. Word to word what happened. My favorite. We tell them the story. My story is a love story. It's about my first three. Bad first date. About ball.

Football. Got arrested. Um, shit in your pants. What the fuck? What the fuck it's going on? That's my story. Don't think about it. Just laugh.

It's funny. Ah, shucks. Please get it up. Mr. Tony Hitchclim and Fragasi. It's passed out of him. Gillis. John Lamarri. He said,

John McHir. Everybody. I'll give you everything I have them like wallet. Ooh, yeah. Give me all of that. That would have been the all-time best story to tell on this show. Listen at Monies, because wayday is happening at Wayfair from April 25th through the 27th. This is not a regular sale. I'm talking up to

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Like, is he trying to offset his horniness by doing that? I think it's, my thing is like every dude's got an angle, right? And I think he was building a following with this like, uplifting messages to inspire your soul like he has written there. And then he was like, yeah, but that's not really what I know. I really am this guy. And I want to see who will interact with me if I put this guy out there. So not only am I going to say wild shit, I'm going to get butt naked and oil myself. The oil is a real choice.

And the legs are oiled. I mean, he's oiled everywhere. And then to be like, at the end is the craziest part. The craziest part is that in this video, he's like, Stop teasing me with those eyes. I eat pussy until whatever. And you're like, yeah, got it. That's cool.

And then I don't see the scrolling part here. But at the very end, he's just like... Yeah, I know. The little rascal smile. What's his name? Alfalfa. Yeah. He's like, I didn't do anything.

Yeah. But I have... Stop teasing me with those eyes. I eat pussy like I'm starving. I pull her slap ass. There's somebody, by the way, who's only seen uplifting messages from him. Yeah. And this is the first time they're seeing something else.

And they're like, wait. Is this the same account? It's so jarred. And I will fuck you like I own you. What? Got it. Don't make me show you why good girls bite pillows and can't walk straight. The smile.

It really seals it. This smile's incredible. I got to. And I know that there are women that are like, that's my jam. Yeah. Like what kind of woman is like that's my jam? Because to me it's repulsive. I can't even.

My vatch can't get dry enough when I. Can you hear someone talk like that? It's just not for me. When you say, are you saying the gentleman in particular, the messaging or what? What's the part? I don't like the, I like there to be some pretense of gentlemanliness. Oh, right. And then if I like the gentleman, maybe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like, I'm going to eat you. It's like, it's like, gay dudes talk to each other that way. Yes. Well, that's the thing is that some, I don't know, it's like maybe the guy has never had success with the other route. So maybe that's the thing where he's like... Oh, he's blatant.

Any, any. This guy that's like, stop teasing me with those eyes. I want to lick your pussy and smash your butt hole and spread it open and da-da-da. Who is this working for? What type of gal? Nasty bitches. What you mean?

I mean, you think you don't get some? There's some bitch that likes this, for sure. Yeah, I mean, he's right. He's confident. I believe is You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I believe him. So just nasty bitch.

Yeah. Just a nasty bitch. You get those nasty nasty bitches. Yeah, you're right, because what girl's going to be like, what's up? I love that message. Because I think most, I can't speak for women, but I think most want some version of what you're talking about where they're like, I like this person. Therefore, when they talk to me like that, it's a thing. But like for some random to be like, I feel.

fucking eat pussy like I'm starving. It's like, I don't think most women would be like, that's exactly what I fucking want to do it. That's what I mean. Because women can get laid. Yeah. Any time. All times are times I can get laid. I don't need to have it advertised like that. Right. Do you what I mean? Yeah, of course. You know what I personally think what, what actually happened? I bet he was really, you know, he was on the path of God, right? He was, he was trying to tell you the good word. He was trying to give you the psychological, you know, information or whatever. And then it got to a and she liked it and she just happened to be a really nasty bitch and she gave him the craziest sloppy top that man's ever fucking received and then all the things she told him to do he's like

oh so that's what girls like and then he lost her and then he's thinking I'm gonna get one like that by just doing this shit again that's possible it was really that bitch's fault it's totally possible yeah and he knows the minds of the creep he knows exactly he knows He, no, it's because you grew up around creeps. It's not that you're the creep. But if you grew up with creep, you know creep. I do think there's something to that. When you go, this is my public persona.

It's one thing if you're like, this is how I'm in private. When you go, this is my public persona, he's trying to find the thing that he once had. I think that makes sense. You know, he once had that. Or it could be that like he was super God. and then didn't find the type he's you know she's like I'm not like that I'm not nasty he's like well that's what I want I want a nasty ass bitch so I'll put out some nasty ass messages you know like yeah so he is a dichotomy he's a god-fearing man that wants a nasty bitch and he literally

goes back and forth between the Lord will provide for you and then he's like when the assholes spread open I will dig in there yeah yeah yeah yeah he's He's both. He's both. He wants. We are complex individuals, you know. But I get it. Like, you do want somebody that's got moral Christian values, but then, you know, not someone that's a square too.

And maybe that's, he goes, I don't do a gray area. You know, he's like, it's very black and white for me. But he goes to both. Now, enough of that. Let's just get something a little more sensible going. Yet another one. I went against what I said I was going to. standby, accepted a new friggin crazy bitch.

Oh, yeah. And she wanted to go to a play store and get some other Google chat. I said, we're doing fine right here. And she said, well, are you married? Do you have kids? I said, look, I have a daughter and two sons I've never met. I was in jail when they were born.

Oh, yeah. She messaged back about three minutes and responded, oh, that's nice. I said you skis, that's why I fucking don't, I don't trust you bitches on the internet. God damn, man. She was, she's going to try and beg borrow her steal money out of me. And that shit ain't going to fucking fly. I told her, you know what, I've been around the block more than once.

Hell, I own the damn block. Yeah. Don't trust anyone on the freaking internet. My God. I got it. Well, there's a thing that he doesn't realize he wasn't talking to a woman based on his story. Definitely. He was talking to a foreign man or a bot.

And that's why the response was, that's nice. It's not an actual woman that he was talking to, but he's not aware of that. That's pretty cool. He was, I was in jail. That's nice. And he's like, fucking trying to pull one over on me, bitch. Yeah, that's not what actually happened.

Anyway, he's, that's the guitar guy. No, I remember. But I remember, but I remember he moved. the amp last week. That was a big deal. Yeah, he was like, where am I going to put this thing? Yes, and then he found a new place for the amp. I was hoping to get an update on that, on the equipment.

Is it still behind the couch? Did you put it somewhere else? What's going on with the house? I'm tired like a bomb. Now I'm going to live like a hobo. That's kind of funny. Yeah, I like that. There's that amp.

It's on the table. Well, he moved it. It's the saga that never ends. And then on the next post, I believe that's a receipt. Is that a receipt? On the next post there? Yeah. No, those are the phone numbers of his friends.

Oh, songs I haven't quite written yet. And old stuff from different bands and different places and different times. Nice. One of my old singers, Trent. That's his number. That's his phone number. No area code, though. Song list from different bands I've been in.

That's cool. Things I need to revisit. That's cool. What is he using as a curtain? Go back one more of the amps. Let's look at, I'm wondering. What is he using as a curtain? Oh.

Is it a burlap sack? I don't know what that is. What could that be? There's some of the light is out, right? About a quarter of the light that would enter his out of the room. Can you zoom in on that? Can you see what that is? In the world is he doing.

Good eye, Christine. Thanks. Hmm. Maybe it's a. blanket? Oh, it's a blanket with tassels. I think it might just be like window insulation type of stuff. All this stuff here's insulation and that might just be more like shit. I wonder if that's okay to breathe in. That's interesting. That is interesting. Of course it is. Yeah. Well, the fan looks clean too. He doesn't need to switch out the air vent. Well, the poor guy.

filter on that. You know, P803321, gmail.com, underscore, KUFU, underscore FBR. Well, I'm interested to see where this amp ends up and it's good to see you again. And don't trust those internet hose, man. No.

Yeah, don't trust them for sure. I'm surprised that he's disappointed in that online love. There's kind of something for this show in the far right. What's that? Well, look at that text over there. Hit that. Can you read that? I was just informed my new achievement, another achievement, on one of my reels looking for the retarded zombie.

Huh. Who's the retarded zombie? I don't know. It's all good stuff. All right. So something to cleanse the palate. Okay. So we know.

sound of healing. Oh. Oh. Oh. That can't be good for you. It can't be. Like I don't, I'm not a doctor, but that cannot be to your benefit to hammer something into your, to your neck or your tailbone.

This guy's getting new clients. So people are like, you know what you need to do? Go get, go see this guy. He's going to hammer you. Yeah, must be. Back hearts. Go see. Yeah.

Guys. Ah! Fuck. He's like, chill, chill, chill, chill, bro. That's just trauma. It's just trauma. That's trauma on your tailbone. Okay, but you're not thinking about the positives.

Right up the vertebrae there of the lower back. and your lumbars are all fucked up now. You feel good? Holy shit. Maybe he's breaking apart the fascia. Uh-huh. He's breaking things apart and then they have to re- maybe growing collagen? I don't fucking...

I don't think that's what's happening. This is terrible. I don't think that's what's happening. Oh, my God. Oh, no, no, no, no. Disbush you. Oh, fucking don't. Don't.

Let's see. I'm going to readjust your... Oh. He was that movie. To get it to be that system nervios. Ha ha ha ha. He has a raphito, because if he no, no, he has to do his...

Tom do his... Relief, sweet relief. That is total relief, yeah. It's healing sounds. You all better now? You good? I mean, that guy's, first of all, I don't know if he's okay. No.

After that, he's staring at, he's like, he does not know what just happened to him. Good Lord. he's so scared he's so scared i just saw a post on instagram about this poor man that had the neck adjustment done by a chiropractor and was paralyzed of course and he won how many millions of dollars cool like god yeah damn thanks for the check totally worth it i don't know who signs up for the neck shit man you must be in some type of way but if you're going to sign up for that. I've done it. Remember that crazy chiropractor in L.A.? Do I remember? Yeah. And he would do it.

Out of his fucking mind. I know. Now, looking back, we shouldn't have let him do that. Look how fast my hands are. That's what he would do. He'd go, look how fast I am. Look at that shit. I'm like, okay. You see how fucking fast I move? I go, yeah, I can see that. It's crazy how fast you are. He was so crazy. Why are we going to him? I think, did I have back pain after having babies or something? You went first and then you and I went after you and then I remember one time He was you know he sat me down. He was like telling me all about his training and his and he was He was like yeah, you know a lot of people talk shit about chiropractors like we're we're fucking nothing and I'm like okay And he told me about you know what he does and then I remember one time he was gonna do a back adjustment

And to do the back adjustment I don't know the terminology but they put some type of cream and they kind of, you know, prep the area. And so he's doing like thumb and scraping, and I go, I'm just face down. I just go, this feels amazing, like, where you're massaging. And he says, he goes, I'm not massaging you. And I was like, okay, whatever you're doing feels great. And then he told me, like, the term,

like the proper term for what he's doing to prep the area for the adjustment. I was like, got it. He was like, I'm not a fucking massage therapist. It's like a fucking fast I am. I was like, okay. And he had a dog that was like really old and smelly, remember, and it would breathe next to you. And you're like, dude.

Yeah. Yeah, that dude was. But he was really good. Yeah. Yeah. Better than this guy. Yeah. Let me tell you about Lucy for a second.

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Yeah, so they charge this guy with murder, and everyone's like, he doesn't have hands, right? And then there's a video out of him doing a headstand, doing a line of Coke, upside down, and then grabs a gun and shoots it out the window. And there's all kinds of footage of him using guns. It's really crazy. What? This is the guy here. He's a cornhole player, like a championship cornhole player. I hate that word for that game.

But here is... Against your neck. Hurry up. What is energy? He's doing Coke? Vote for him. Right? Dang.

Hey, that was perfect. It's still a little I don't get a fucking E, bud. What the fuck, dude? Some people are like, how can this guy shoot somebody? You're like, well, here you go. Yeah, I mean. I also think we should honestly

maybe put him in a special category. of like, that's an amazing crime. Yeah, I agree. You know? Like maybe not, hey, how can we punish this guy, but how can we learn from this guy? How can we learn from him? How can we showcase these talents? Why is he just shooting out the wind?

Because he's on Coke and he's like, fuck everybody out there. I think he lives in a city or I hope he lives somewhere in rural North Carolina. I don't know. There's a bong there too. That's pretty cool. Yeah, but don't you think it's stupid to assume that, like, handicapped people can't. That's a workaround. That's what they do.

You learn to work with what you got. You're 100% right. You know, that's so, gosh, I wonder what else he can do. But that's what I'm saying. This guy's attitude is what I'm impressed with. I mean, yeah, he killed somebody. Okay, that's bad. But aren't we going to talk about how great of an attitude he has?

How did he kill them? So who did he kill and why? It's like when people go, like, BTK was a terrible serial killer. He was also an incredible city controller. I know. Like, he knew how to run things in that city, you know. I know. What happened?

In March 20, 26, he was involved in a shooting inside. a car, police say he shot and killed his friend Bradrick Wells during an argument while driving. He can drive to? I fucking wouldn't be surprised. Authorities alleged after the shooting, he drove away with the victim still in the vehicle and the body was later found nearby. The grand jury indicted him on first-degree murder charges and additional charges, including firearm using to find out the vehicle, reckless endangerment, gun possession.

He could be held without bail. He's being held without bail, confess life in prison if convicted. His lawyers are saying it was self-defense. Yeah, pretty, pretty wild. He, yeah, there's a footage of him hunting, like going up into tree stands. So cool. Can we see that? Like, I'd like to see how he moves. Yeah.

Now I'm more curious about what he can do. Yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty amazing, man. He sounds like he's got a little bit of a temper. I would say, yeah. Something tells me. Bit of a short fuse. What could you be fighting about? Shooting, because it's just, it's really nuts to see him.

handle a firearm and you're like, yeah. They were having an argument while driving and he shot his friend during an argument. I don't know. Like here he is. Wow. Yeah. Let's see. Everyone's like, how could this guy do it? And that's so weird that he's into cornhole. Look, what does that mean? Well, look at some of the videos on your screen right now. These are videos that he posted to his personal YouTube channel, which obviously show him loading and firing several shots from a handgun as you see there. Weber was charged with first and second degree murder. As for next steps in this case, he is waiting to be ex-rayed back.

Definitely. And it's such a funny dichotomy. He's like, I'm into killing people and Cornhole. Yeah, I know. It's sort of like, David, who's like, the Lord will bless you. And I want to eat your ass. Yeah. Yeah, what a weird set of hobbies.

Or complex individuals. Jesus Christ. And by the way, Cornhole is the most boring fucking thing on the planet, too. But the skills for a handless person? To do that? That's amazing. I mean, it's all about, like, you know, little movements that you do. I don't know.

Talented guy. He's a talented guy. Yeah. But he's in jail now, right? He's in prison? Yeah, I mean, look at this guy. He goes hunting. Isn't that photo?

I saw footage of him going up in a tree stand. He's a wild kid, though. Yeah. That's cool to put a video of yourself up shooting out a window, though. doing coke and then Fuck yeah I mean to do that and be like Hey record

Yeah maybe not record it Record the shit dude Yeah The fuck am I watching Bro Tooth extraction But hold on This is impressive

I can't You got it You got it Oh was he to get pliers Yeah Fuck dude Oh I heard it snap Oh I heard it snap

Oh Oh, God. Toothake gone. Toothake gone. Yeah, the toothache goes away when you rip it out with a pair of pliers. A lot of people don't know that. This man is a savage. Dude, I just got the chills.

And he's not high on meth. We saw Fed Smoker doing that. His face is tattooed. Sure. So I would say that he has a tolerance for pain that not everybody can deal with. But what a fucking animal, dude. So impressive. I hope he's drunk at least.

Doesn't look like it. Doesn't look like it. Fuck, dude. He looks like a guy who's like, yeah, I don't give a fuck. And look, he didn't even wince afterwards. No. He was like, toothache gone. So calm.

Wow. I wouldn't want to, I don't know, I feel like you meet someone like this. You're like, no, you're right. You know, like whatever they say. You go, you're right. Yeah, 100%. That is. Yeah.

Nordily, bro. Salute my man. Man, that was impressive. Look how big is tooth is, too. Look at those roots. That's a hard pole. Those things are embedded. Those are bones in your jaw, bro.

I mean, I would quit so far before. Oh, dude. Like, as you, if the first, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and also take me to a place where I'm unconscious for this. Yeah, of course. Of course.

I don't think I've had a tooth extracted when I was. No, you have to be put under for that. Yeah. For an extraction? Or you can just grab a rag and pliers. Pull it out of your fucking mouth. Yeah, again, though, I think the face tap reveals a lot. But hold on.

How much pain is he in? Sometimes the toothache is unbearable, yeah. Now, hold on, though, too, the bacteria is still in the mouth. So the reason they, don't they clean that out and stuff? In a professional environment, they would. Yeah, yeah. I hope he swishes some Listerine in his mouth. I assume he rinsed after this.

Some salt water at least. He just goes, well, that's not a fun video to watch. Especially the cool part. What is the tattoo of? It's a Maori tribal maybe, I would say, right? Like New Zealand or something. Yeah, you're 100% right. But I'm saying, do you see the, what's the imagery that we're seeing on the side?

It's a gallbladder. Ah. Or a liver. Huh. I don't know what it is. It looks terrible, though. Is it a fish? I don't know.

I don't see like a goldfish. It can't be that. Is it this fish? Oh shit, it did. Look at his face. It is not that heavy. It's crazy how strong they are. That is a tuna, right?

It's an amberjack. Oh, Amberjack. You know how good he's going to feel killing that thing? You know, he's going to be like, fuck this guy. I reeled in a 26-pound Amberjack like 25 years ago in Florida, like off the coast. And the struggle was so intense and so long. And you go, that's it. It's 26 pounds.

And then you see people that reel in 150 pound fish. And you're like, I don't understand. That thing right there, that weighs, what is that? That thing weighs 20 pounds. Yeah. So it's like a one, like a baby. But I'm saying it's the strength. Yeah, their muscle.

Oh my God. His face is high. He looks like he's in so much pain. Well, sometimes, too, they got, you know, those spikes around the back. You know what I'm saying. Like, the scales can puncture your hand, too. I thought we were going to, because he looked like he has struggled. I thought we were just going to watch him turn and, like, drop it into like a grinder type of thing and just be like, fuck you.

I know. Well, I would throw the fish on the floor and try to crack its fucking skull. Wouldn't you do that? Like, just smack it on the ground or something? Throw it? Can you just throw it? I'm surprised that it ends here. You would think that it's going to be, you know,

I thought he was going to lay it on a table or something. And then smash its head was a hammer. Yeah. Because you don't have to eat the head of the amberjack, right? You certainly don't have to. That's not the part you want. That's not the part that most people are going for. Yeah, they want that meaty, fatty body.

Damn. It's a good fish, bro. All right, why do we take a quick break? Okay. And we'll be right back. We are back with one of our all-time favorites. can watch his new special, The End of the Beginning of the End, which is out now on YouTube. It's David Cross, everybody.

Hey, thank you for having me. Now, I'm curious, this was a co-production with somebody. Do you know, is that information up there? It doesn't say that there. It's here. So, David Cross is partnering with 800-pound guerrilla media and YMH. What? IMH Studios.

Is that cool? Yeah. Okay. So this special is produced by YMH. Yeah. And YMH stands for... Your mama's place. They got the H and the P.

They got the H and the P wrong. Yeah. Yeah. We did. We produced this. We produced the special with you and 800-pound gorilla. Yeah. And he shot in Athens, Georgia. Mm-hmm.

home of, what, you grew up near there or in Athens? No, I grew up in Atlanta, a little outside of Atlanta. But, yeah, I went to Athens a bunch. All my friends from high school, all of them, went to UGA. And then I applied and I got denied. I had that happen at Denver University. Really? That was the only place I wanted to go

because I visited Denver at some point in high school and I was like, I love the city. And where'd you grow up? Wait, you grew up? I moved around a lot. But by the time I was in high school in Florida, and I was like, I just want to go to Denver. And I applied, and this is so humiliating.

I applied, and I told my high school best friend that I was applying. So he's like, I'll apply. And this fucking box of rocks gets in, right? So that's not the humiliating part, you know, big head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one got in. He got in. And he had a lower SAT, but a higher.

GPA. Oh, fuck. And then I did not know this. My dad wrote them a letter. Oh, that's humiliating. That's to reconsider. And they were like, they wrote it back. Like, no, he's dumb.

And then I got to see that letter. I was like, what is this? He's like, oh, I tried to get you in. I was like, it is sweet. It's very nice. But he also wanted you out of the house. Yeah. And far away.

So far. Yeah. And what was he? Denver University yeah D-U I've never even heard of Denver University I know well I only knew about it because a guy that was a year above me was going so I found out that he was I was like I didn't know there was even a school there what were you gonna major in just something dumb communications you know the easy communication what does that even mean I have a major in it I don't know so you have a

degree I have a degree so where'd you go to school one of the most elite universities in the country Rhine College. Lenore Ryan? Uh-huh. You know. Harvard, Lenore Ryan,

Princeton, Yale. Lenore Ryan, yeah, she lives on, I know where she is. She's off with, like, Mount Olympus or something like that. She's solid. Yeah.

And she started a school. And I went there. In communications. What was your SAT score? I remember it. It was 1070. Wow. Well, but almost all of it was like verbal.

Same. And zero, nothing. I mean, my math dragged me down. But I also, and my GPA was kind of average, you know, not necessarily. And again, I got, I actually got a F in algebra, because I pleaded with my teacher to not give me an incomplete. Like, I can't go to school. And little did I know that I wasn't, I would end up not attending school, really.

but I was like, please, just change it to an F, you know, just so I... Please fail me. And, yeah, in all things, you know, math just dragged me down. Same, same, same. We're both retards and math. And I had the, kind of the, not foresight, but the idea, by the time I was in, I don't know, 11th grade or so.

It's like everyone's using calculators. And why do I need if I'm clearly showing an aptitude in this other completely different world, which is also important,

and I'm never going to need to know fucking cosines, ever, ever, never. So why are you putting this onus onus on this thing that is preventing me from going to school, you know?

Yeah. For this other thing. That I, and, and by the time we were like in 10th grade, people were using calculators. And like, I know how to push buttons, you know? Did you have the mind? I had the mind fuck of freshman year I failed algebra

and the guy was like, it's crazy. Like, you're, I can't believe how bad you are at this. Wait, you had, uh, algebra in freshman year? Freshman year, we had Algebra 1. Oh, that's early. And then I failed. You're talking about high school. High school, yeah. And he was like, wow, like you're just like your special needs. And I was like, cool. And then sophomore year, you go into, we have geometry. And I was like, oh, fuck, here's another math. And I get a B plus. And they're like, hey, good. Well, those are two different things. They are, but those are the math requirements. I'm saying. So in my head, I'm like, I'm bad at math. And then I'm like, I guess I'm okay at math. And then even though I failed algebra one, freshman year,

junior year they're like now you're in algebra two I failed it again yeah of course yeah and then senior year they were like you just have to go into like the class with the seventh graders and just see if you can you know did you nail it I think I got a was it like a happy Gilmore

situation it kind of was a Billy Madison I should say they were just like just sit in this class so we can pass you dude I was so stupid in algebra I took algebra 1A as a whole year and then one B as a second year. So like when I graduated, yeah, as a senior, I finally got to algebra two. Oh, so fucking I think what kind of fucked me that year is that freshman year I moved. So when I moved to the

new school, that's where I'm coming in the middle of the year and they're like, we're in this part of algebra. And I'm like, I don't know any of this. Were you public school? I transferred from a public school to a private school. And that was all public school and Georgia public schools rock. We're not. We're not the best. Yeah, it still bothers me. And it's something as I, you know, my daughter goes to public school and she's very, she's only in third grade. But I'm keeping an eye out for, you know, going, listen, to figure out when she'll be old enough to understand what this means and how to apply it and say, I don't give a shit about math.

Okay. I just want you, you know, right now she needs, you know, the basics, you know, adding subtracting division, percentages, stuff like that. But there's going to be a point in the near future where I'm like, just get a D. Get a D and you'll be fine. I'm serious. I don't want you to worry about this shit. I want you to concentrate on this stuff. And I will say that to her, you know, when it's time.

For sure. But that's why college is great because I... She's not going to go to college. Let's be real. Fuck that. But then you can just do what you're good at. And then they make you take like one statistics class, which I barely got through. I paid my friend in beer to do my homework for me.

And that's it. You just suffer. All the way to senior year in college without taking a math course because I was like, I should stay away from those. And they're like, you need to take this minimal run, right? And I started taking it. And I was like, I'm going to fail this. And then I learned that the professor, who's a real, like, folk.

guy. I heard him one time talking about boats and then I was just like I would go up to him and be like I like boats and then I bought him a boating magazine and then he passed me. It's that easy. It was that fucking boating magazine. He was like I love this stuff man. But what a great life lesson. That's how you actually

operate in real life. Yeah, yeah. I just I lubed him up a little bit. Yeah. Greased is behind. You know, I was just say in because I saw an event I saw the special before when public you are able do you enjoy a standing crowd because oh yeah you've had that for years that's a conscious effort yeah what what was the thought like what was like the first time was there a first time you're like I want to try this well it's a very rock club feel yeah when I first uh when I did my first tour that went that was beyond like you know, clubs, right?

You know, I headlined clubs at that, but then I did a tour that was just a band, friends of mine, we had a van. Just like shut up, you fucking baby-jad? Yeah, it resulted in that, yeah. But the first tour was kind of up and down the East Coast.

It was a band opening up for me in a music venue, in a music venue. And then there'd be, they do 30, 45 minutes, and then there'd be no, intermission. They'd bring me on and I'd just go. And it was great. And I did that tour

and then Sub Pop reached out and said, hey, you want to do a bigger more extensive U.S. tour and we'll record it and we'll put out an album. I was like, yeah, great. That was Shut up your fucking baby. But all the same thing.

It just is a different energy and you can your relationship with the audience is completely different. I shouldn't say completely different. Do you feel like they're more engaged? Oh, yeah. They are. Yeah, for sure.

And it's not that they're, you know, nothing against theater shows. I've done plenty of them. I've done specials in the theater. And it's not a bad thing. It's just different. And the last two or three tours, two tours ago,

I said, I'm going to go back to this thing that I used to do, and I used a booking agent that just did music, didn't do comics, and I went with Arrival, and they were great, and, you know, did some theaters, but I'd say half of the shows were in a music venue where it's standing, and they know what I want, and they tell them up front, and, you know, you do those theater shows, and you see, depending what you ask for, you see the first three, four rows maybe before the light drops out. And sometimes the lights are so glaring.

That's why I wear hats sometimes, just to cut the glare of those lights so I can see people. And, you know, they're paying attention and it's good, it's fun, but it's a different type of show. Do you make them stand even if they have like MS or they're like in a chair? Yeah, yeah. What I do is I have a minder, what I call a minder. and the minder will come over and not allow them to sit. If the minder feels like they're lazy, then yes, they'll actually, they have a really mild, super mild taser.

Get them up. Get them up. Yeah. Kind of like cattle prod thing because it gives them some room, you know, to distance themselves. I love that. Yeah, tase it up. I love that. And then I will give out.

part of my merch is tasers with my face on them. That's awesome. Wonderful. It feels like you. It feels on brand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that was my high school nickname. Taser and Dave. There comes Taser down the hall. Yeah, it comes Tays and Dave. Yeah, it's great. And I urge you to try it. I'm definitely going to. No, not the Taser.

The music venue. Oh, the music venue. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm telling you, you won't want to go back. Really? It's just a fun, that's not true. You will want to do theaters because they're more lucrative.

But the rock stream, the feel. Do a couple of them, and it's just a... I feel like the Goth Queen here would be into this. I've done the Bell House in Brooklyn. That's standing room. Well, they put chairs out, though, too. Oh, I think when I did it, people were standing, and I just felt bad for, for them the whole time.

Because I'm like, oh, my God. Because I know that there's a band I want to see here. And I'm like, oh, but do I have to stand? But I also 50. You know what? I get that. But also, all, I can't speak for you all, but my, a lot of my audience is, you know, roughly my age. And they are into music and they know what they're getting.

And it's like, you know, it's not a big deal to stand for 90 minutes, especially when you've got beers. And they've gone to plenty of music shows and stuff. So, uh. Because your demo is like the cool. Yeah, like the band. I got the cool kids. I like music. Yeah, I get it.

Mine's like, let's lay down. I'm tired. If I could, I would let them fully lie down. I have a thing. I do more yoga shows. I love to. I know when I'm walking through an airport or a mall. and I see like a generally unhealthy looking middle-aged guy,

but he's going to be like, what's up, man? I can always tell. I'm like, you look like you need to go to the doctor. Things are kind of off. And then he's like, Tom, I'm like, there it is. I knew it was going to happen. I knew it. I could see it walking towards it.

When you look at your audience, what do you see? The funny thing is you walk out. You actually, I've told her this, it's always surprise. It's not always 100%, you know, like, so once I say, like, still to this. day, I see people, gauges, you know, the door knocker tatted up and I'm like, I didn't expect you here. Then you see, yeah, people like of my age range. Then you'll be surprised. I'll get surprised and I'll see people like in their 20s, you know, sometimes couples or dudes together. And then, yeah, and then like a bulk of it like just feels like they look like kind of like you.

Oh, I get, yeah, I get that. I get a lot. of Brian Posane looking guys. A lot of them. And a lot of... Brian Posein looking. Oh, I love Brian Posein. I get a lot of me. Yeah.

And sometimes like the gay version of me. And then a lot of like... Tatted up kind of feminist, younger feminist. And then what's... surprising, I guess, but shouldn't be. Starting a couple tours ago, kids that were brought and are there with their parents. Like teenagers are, you know, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. And then, like, yeah, I brought my kids.

Yeah. And that's happened more than that. I told you this when you were here. But like for you and I, that your, that album was like as we were baby comics. so it was super influential for us I'm happy to hear that I mean we were just like obsessed with that dude and then

Well I think but you can hear Sorry to interrupt But you can hear The The aspect that I'm talking about That was all music venues Yes of course Yes

And so And I think the The bulk of it was From Portland The show in Portland And a show in Atlanta and then the Portland show was at the crystal ballroom.

That was all standing. You know, that girl was like, let me feel it or whatever, that thing, that part. She was right there at the stage. And, you know, when you, if you're at the front of the stage, you got there, you know, two hours ago. Yeah. And I know that. I've been that person, you know, and again, it's just different energy. And it's, you know, fun.

It's uniquely David Cross, for sure. It does feel. More and more people are going to do it. I hope so. Oh, God. I don't talk about it so much. Don't want them. Don't.

You know, also there's that part in the show, in the special, where I'm talking about climbing Machu Picchu with Bob, Lone Kirk. And there's that interaction with a guy who's right there. I mean, he's too deep. He's right. you know, I could touch them. And that wouldn't have happened in the theater. That's true.

If it did, I'd be talking in the dark and you wouldn't hear the person really. And it would end up probably being cut because it would be fun in the show, but you wouldn't hear it and you wouldn't see it. And this guy's right there. You know what, David Crest, I'm going to do standing room only from now on. You don't have to do it from now. You're convinced me. I'm going to have mothership remove the seating. And then...

No, you should book a venue. You should book a venue like that. I'm telling you. I will. I will. And if when you do it, get in touch and let me know how it went and how it felt. And if they hated it, it's sureful. You know, when you have like a real asshole at a show and they're seated, there's something about like, depending on the venue and the situation, everything of happening in that moment, person still has like their space of their seat.

But I bet when they're standing and people are around. them, they get it more from the people around them too, right? Yeah, probably, yeah. Yeah, I would think that people would just be like, the fuck are you doing, man. Yeah, yeah. They feel more comfortable. And they would feel it. Yeah.

You know, intensely. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. It's interesting. It's an interesting part of it. Okay, so make sure you guys check out the special, the end of the beginning of the end. You always do this thing, too, where like, because when the special starts, you go on to this bit that, you always, like, I love that I've always, I've always, I've always,

felt like you will take people on a long ride of before the long meandering boring ride no it's so good no of like where like as you're watching and you're listening you just keep leaning forward because you're like where because all you want is surprise like you want surprise yeah i mean i i that's i think you know there's some things i'm good at some things i'm not good at and as far as stand-up and i think that's one of the things i'm pretty good at yeah right you know what my don't know the what's like still to this day like is he serious yeah yeah oh my god this is gonna be heavy oh your dead pan is like unlike anybody's like where you're like wait this maybe he really feels this way i think the the um i think the joke that ends up with the punchline uh the entire time there

was a rock in my shoe uh is what made my wife marry me oh really that was yeah she that pulled her in Oh, I loved it with that. They're mining gold. You get the medicine for sous. The medicine for sous. And then the gold fleck ends up on your dessert and then shit it out. And that's that. And you're like, that always think.

And since that joke, every time I see a gold fleck on a dessert, I think about your bit and how exorbitant and retarded that is. It's crazy. It's so stupid. There are places, you know, New York has them, certainly lost Vegas. where it's like, no shit. It's like the $1,000 burger. Oh my God.

And it's, you know, it's $100 of it is the quality of the meat, right? Or the food or like the, and then $900 of it is, and we're dipping in gold. And then there's some fucking asshole who's like, it thinks that makes them cool. Yeah. And they're just eating golden dipped. I'm getting a thousand dollar burger. I'm getting a hundred dollar burger. fucking loser.

Tastes the same. Yeah, look at this. Yeah. Oh, it's real. Yeah. It's a real thing. They have them all over the place. Yeah.

What does that say? The glam burger. $1,770. Yeah, because I'm a fucking, I'm not a piece of shit. Look it. It's the, I mean, worth it. I fucking. Do you think the person that orders that goes, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm not going to tip you 20% on me. I'm going to tip you on the meat. The meat was like a hundred. Yeah. Yeah, it's just the bun. What if you just gave them the bun? This is your tip. I think there's caviar on that too, though.

Fuck yeah, dude. Put it on anything. Caviar, bacon. I mean, who doesn't like caviar and bacon and gold? I don't know how anyone can. I wonder what it's like to look at this and not know if you're going to have diarrhea. Because I know that it's going to be an immediate. Also, you have to now look at your shit.

Yeah. You eat that golden burger. Yeah. And now there's no way you're like. Not taking a peek, wiping your ass looking at it, going, I don't see, it's panning for gold. Kind of. Yeah.

In a way. That's so true. That might be the only reason to consume a gold. Honey, get in here. Or you eat it. Don't tell anybody. Then you take a shit and you're like, wow, I'm made of magic. I'm shit and gold.

Can you, I don't know who the person is who's doing operating that thing. Can you look for other golden foods and see what they've got? Golden flaked foods maybe, you know. Golden, but the flex on the dessert always get me. Yeah. Yeah, what's that there? Gold sushi. You need it.

It's insane. You need gold sushi. What a fucking bunch of assholes? Right, and isn't it a metal in your body? Can't be good. Wait, I have to go look at this. Sorry, hang on one second. Yeah.

All right, golden donuts, golden ice cream. Golden ice cream. Golden lambshank is nice. Very nice. That looks disgusting. They didn't even have enough gold to cover. Yeah. They skimped on the gold. A gold cake? Oh, my birthday's Thursday. Is it really? Yeah. I just had my birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Man. Did you eat gold? Yeah, I had gold. Well, no. Actually, to be honest, I ate. a diamond. Oh, wow.

A diamond a marathon man. Just had a couple diamonds. What a way to celebrate. Yeah, yeah. That's really cool. Because you're not a fucking loser. No, no, no, no. It's what smart, fancy, worthwhile people do.

Yeah. And I still haven't shit it out. And I've been, my birthday was on the fourth. And I've been, like, having, you know, sifty, because it's a small diamond. Of course. Yeah. But your ring

Fancy I love that Imagine eating that How much I know not in one Not one survey What if we broke it up And I smash it with a hammer

Yeah yeah I could do it that way I would sprinkle it Like a power smoothie Oh that's such a good idea Or assia A berry But then imagine Sifting through your brown

To find Yeah yeah No I mean I'm still looking And you know And I've gotten to the point where I can't, I don't shit in water anymore. I just shit in a sieve, you know, just mush it down.

Do you call in the wife and daughter every time you shit? Like, let's see if it's here. I have them help. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then wash up, obviously. Of course. You know. Of course.

How much did that set you back? It's $100. This is for Matsu. It's beautiful. Thank you. I mean, that is a, that is a, I never notice a wedding. Do you want to try it on? Gumball.

See what it feels like, David. There's a gumball machine. Put that ice on your paper. Oh, that's heavy. Eat it. Yeah. Wow. You have some dainty fingers.

I can't even get this on my pinky. I'm such a lady. You like that? I kind of like it. I know, it's cool. It's fun. It's got some weight to it. It's fun.

And the older I get, I like wearing this stuff. And the secret is just to wear it. Because my mother had a lovely collection of jewelry. And when she died, I found a, it in a bag hidden in the back of her closet. And I was like, oh, that's so messed up. Was there any shit around it? She scraped it off, yeah.

Oh, okay. She shit into them and, yeah, I had to mine through it all. But I thought, what a waste. Like, if you're going to have fancy shit, just wear it. Because there is no special occasion. Every day is a special occasion. So I wear ridiculous things a lot. Yeah.

I hear you, but maybe she was afraid of getting mugged. Yeah, that too, but she lived in Marina del Rey. Like, she wasn't. She wasn't. So that's not going to happen. not going to happen. We weren't. Destitute. Yeah. Yeah. She was just paranoid Eastern European. That, uh, Marina del Rey is such a interesting, weird. It, to me, like, when I hear about people growing up there, it's kind of like Roosevelt Island. Like, I know a guy who born and raised

Roosevelt Island, which is that little island, uh, in between Manhattan and Queens, Brooklyn Queens. And, um, you know, they had a little tram there. You've seen it. You know, and it's, and it's where the Statue of Liberty lives? No. Is that like one of that tiny island? Wow. Yeah. Not just math.

Yeah. I've never heard of this. I've never heard of this place. It's, All right, so you will see it. It's like that. So, yeah, you see that. It's a 59th Street bridge.

Gotcha. And so they have their own school system, hospital, all that stuff. And it's always, it's just one of those. but you have to take a tram to get there. It's just a weird, like, wow, you grew up there. You were a kid. You were a preteen.

You were a teenager. What is that like? And that's Marina del Rey is such a strange. It's strange. You said you know a guy from there? Yeah. Did you, like, what's your assessment of him as someone who grew up there? Oh, he's awesome.

He's one of the founders of Kickstarter. Oh. Oh. Wow. And he's great. He's a super cool guy. Really good morals and ethics. and he's just a good, decent person.

Nice. Yeah, Marina del Rey is alarmingly boring, I would say. But it's like it's unto itself. It's got that weird, because it's a little bit touristy for weird tourists. Yes. You know, I shouldn't say weird, but to go there as, you know, if you're in L.A. for whatever, you know, five, six, seven days and you make Marina del Rey a stop, It's very strange to me. That's a strange choice.

And just living there. Hollywood and Highlands, where it's at, man. You want to go to L.A. and have a good fucking time. You've got to go to Hollywood and Hollywood. Planet Hollywood. Also, there's a cheesecake factory there that people really love in Marina Del Rite.

That makes a total sense. That's it. It feels like a place where tier three rich people go. That's a really good idea. That's totally it. They have a boat. They don't have a massive boat.

No. They have a boat. And so, nothing wrong with that and then they hang out there and they go to the cheesecake factory and they go back to their boat and you can live on your boat and you can live on your boat i think people want to live on the boat and that's why they dock it in marina delray and then go to the cheesecake factory because i've shot there a bunch on uh arrested we shot oh really we shot there all the time and and and you know i lived near there like venice san anna manna san annana when i was working on the show and i um or my wife's

you know who was then girlfriend's place and um in uh venice and you know you're always passing it it's just never a place you would ever turn your car towards yeah go in and go and you walk around and they're tourists there the only time I was really there was there was always like a meeting like offices places had their headquarters or their offices there from really yeah like there would always be like these

yeah there's a couple like you know not like studio like Paramount studios but like we have the our the the the VR place the the head The place that does the VFX for this. They all have places in Marina Del Rey. Yeah. I don't know. I remember when you lived in Los Velas a million years ago.

And before I was a comedian and I was just a super fan. And I would see you at the coffee place. At the coffee place? Next door to the Electric Lotus. Oh, yeah. The on thex room. Right? No, it's just a coffee place.

I don't remember. But I remember being like, oh, my God, Steve Cross. Oh, yeah. I only... I only until I moved away and then had to come back for work I only lived in Los Felos and Silver Lake

We were too We were hardcore East Siders Yeah And then we had kids Where did you all live? I lived on Silver Lake Boulevard once And then I lived on Hyperion Oh right on

Yeah Yeah And it's uh it was one of the few Was that it? Onyx Lounge? No it was next to the Electric Lotus Indian restaurant It was a coffee

It wasn't that It's just some shit coffee place I thought that was the only... No. No, Mommy. It was a really independent. It was just a hole in the wall, literally like a long, narrow building, and I would walk through it. And I'd be like, oh, there's David Cross. Like, writing jokes.

You were just quietly to yourself. Oh, I thought it was a show. Weird. No. I think you were just writing your reading or doing your thing, and I would never bother you, of course. Well, thanks for not bothering. No worries. Do you remember Tim Tam?

When we lived in Silver Lake, we lived on Hyperion. and you had to walk past the hardcore gay bar to go to Trader Joe's. Yeah, rim job Tuesdays. Wait, which, there are a couple of hardcore days. Yeah, but MJ's had rim job Tuesdays on their sign. Are you serious? Wait, where is this on Hyperion?

So on the right side, if you're walking, kind of remember direction. So Gelsons is on the right. Okay, so at Water Village is behind you. So you're walking down, Gelsus is on your right. On your left hand side, there's something, there's a cheese shop. Cheese shop.

And then there's, there was Elstis. like Trader Joe's. Yeah, on the same side of the street is Trader Joe's. Okay. But before you would get to Trader Joe's. Oh, I don't know. There is a rib job. Every fucking Tuesday.

Every fucking Tuesday. And then they had a picture of a guy's asshole behind the bar. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That is hardcore. Yeah. And then one time I met a friend for coffee there. And there are signs in the restaurant like, hey guys, don't fucking here.

Would you please not have sex in here? This is the place. Specifically, Todd. Todd. Todd and Bruce. fucking Bruce Bruce is the gay's name I just told this story

yesterday that how when they close when MJ's closed that's when Brendan Walsh put up the sign that Silver Lake Gun Club is coming and he put it up over there like on the property and then built a website

and so then locals would be like we don't and he had a phone number so people would be like we don't want a gun club here and so he'd be like too fucking bad man just to just to upset people. Oh, God. That's great.

Yeah, rim job. That's great. Yeah, rim job every fucking Tuesday. And it was so fun. There was always a line of dudes outside. I never heard of this place. I love a good, straight-friendly gay bar. Did you ever go to the gym that was on that street? Right down the street, bodybuilder gym.

It was old school gym. That's a different kind of experience with gay men that I am looking for. Well, it was, there were straights and gays there. and the smell was gay. And by that, I mean, intense B.O. everywhere. And everyone would be like, that's fucking right. I smell. You like that.

You're like, dude, come on, man. I wouldn't say that. You had to. The last thing I would say. It was intense, bro. Because there were bears. They were building their musk. Building their musk.

Yeah. Yeah, no, that's not my. What do you mean that's not your? That's just not, you know, not anymore. Yeah. You know, I got a kid now. You get a massage today? Mike's here.

It's fucking amazing. Are you done with the machine? They loved you at that place, though. You had a lot of fans. Oh, I bet. Yeah, you got a bare look. You too. Because I get the same thing, oh, for sure.

Yeah. And I have, I still get the occasional person who's disappointed that I'm not gay. I still do. Like somebody Like Oh you're not I thought for sure

No For sure I thought we were gonna get to Yeah All right All right You know Yeah

You must get that I would I've had it a few times I've also Never Ever received a message From a woman ever That it was

Aggressive In a sexual sense Like I have from men Yeah Yeah Like I've opened my It's because men are more honest Yeah men

Just like Bro Love to fucking put my face in your ass. You never got messages like that? No, but I don't, I'm not, I'm not talking like DM stuff like that. I'm talking about like personal interactions. Oh, face-to-face. I'm never on social media.

Yeah. I got rid of it back in the, I can't remember, but it was good. Feels good? Yeah. You don't even like TikTok? Hold on. Nope. I don't, I'm not saying I don't like it.

I just don't. Maybe you haven't seen the right kind. I'm sure I would. And occasionally my. wife will send me some stuff on Instagram, right? Yeah. And I'll go, God damn it.

Because I know that the rest of my free time is, I'm going to look at the thing. Yeah, of course. And I'm going to go, oh, you know what? Those dogs. Look at those dogs. And then scroll. This is a perfect time.

Would you throw those on for a moment so that, like, we can give you a taste of what you're missing? So just so you know, David, I like to collect, I curate TikToks. Oh, that's what you sound like. That's what I sound like. Okay. All right, yeah.

Oh, this is new. I curate TikToks, but I like to highlight the marginalized communities, people that don't normally get represented. So I don't get your traditional dance videos and things of that nature. So there you go. I mean, being as like you're the king of alternative, I just thought this would be pretty cool for you. Okay.

Am I going to listen? No, you're going to watch. Guys, I love anal sex as much as the next guy. But I just fucking crush and my butthole. Like, I can fuck. 47 years old, I'm 5 foot 3. It's 155 pounds. Patton and Tom Segora had a baby.

Yeah, it is. Holy shit. It's very similar. Oh, my God. So what is he? Is he looking for? I think he's just informing the audience. He's letting you know that even though he's 5 foot 3 and 47, he can butt fuck hard.

Throw it down. He throws through it. He throws through it. So when I'm having anal sex, I'm just fucking getting up in that, like up deep, up in the butt knuckle and sometimes i'd be waking up and shit's stuck to my dick and dried up petrified shit oh this is a joke no come on the back of the room keys i engineered that motherfucker to be a certified hole polisher so here's what you do go to the link tree in my bio it's a plug but he does love butt pounding and his whole account is dedicated to like telling you oh

that's pretty cool yeah and he does sell t-shirts about butt butts sexing and stuff too. Oh, I want to see one of those t-shirts. I'll get one of those. That's a great idea. Right? Yeah. Actually, you know what? You guys just take care of it. Don't even just take care of it. Order it for us, please. Do you emerge, David. Oh, no! Oh, no! What is that? You got tattoos? Oh! Oh! You don't like tats? What is he doing? It's art. It's just he's failing it in, man. I don't know if it's real, though. I feel like

that's not real. Really? That's real? It doesn't look real. Wait a minute. I don't think that's real. I don't think that's No, what the Hang on Oh, come on No, but it's You think it's real? But look,

it's not ink. I mean, it's not tattooing. Oh, okay. What is it? It's this paint? So he's pulling our leg. He's pulling your leg. Oh, God.

But I like the effect. I mean, it freaked you out, which is nice. Yeah, I didn't like that at all. Yeah, that was kind of crazy. Yeah, that's cool. That's a crazy flip. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, this is why I'll fly to Austin and come on this show. Get up on all this. See? Uh-oh. What's going to happen? Ouch. Okay.

Oh, Jesus. I love it. Christine, this is your collection? Yeah. I curate these, yeah. And where do you get them from? Just my algorithm is so, so finely tuned. Yeah.

I can't even get normal talks. Yeah. I won't even give it to me. Oh, this guy. Oh, this guy. So I don't worry about walking around a lot. Teenager. I'm 37.

I don't think so. So this guy was making all these talks. He's like 17-year-old model. I'm actually 37, but I look 17. And I think he just got into some legal trouble. Can you look it up, Josh? But his whole thing, I mean, for like a year. He's like, I look 17.

I know I look young. Look at those choppers. Those are not real. Oh, yeah. older. Yeah. He's a model, it says. A 36-year-old model.

Yeah. Yeah. He's the kind of guy, and I'm just going off of looks. Sure. I don't know personality. I don't know who this person is, but he looks like the kind of guy that you would see wandering around like Tompkins Square or whatever the equivalent is here in Austin. but who would be emaciated and completely fucked up all in black and like in like open sores and be going, I'm fucking fabulous.

Yeah. I'm fabulous. You'd be surprised at now. I'm not 17. You're like, I'm not actually very surprised. I actually believe you. I don't think you're fabulous. That is such a specific.

Yeah. You know, that's so specific, that type. Yes. Wow, you really nailed that. And they're, and they walk around. They tell you how fabulous they are in their life. And they're, I don't think so. Oh, no.

You don't look. But see the picture on the right. Now, do people watch this podcast or they, so they don't know what we're talking about? No, they know what we're seeing. They know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 36. Like, they'll see that on the top left there.

I don't think he's 30. But if you're, but you would have to be listening. You have to be watching. Correct, yeah, but people will, yeah. Theater of the mind. Yeah. Oh, nice Maybe your wife

Maybe Amber would be interested in this product Why should come home with a present For her Eyebrows are hard to draw in I'm just waiting for the end For her to remove it It's gonna look good dude You're gonna like it

It's gonna look really good You don't like the way this looks It looks Well the thing is that it looks natural Which is what you want Oh dear That's beautiful She just made herself

less feminine. Pretty cool. Yeah. Well, I like straight across for the eyebrows. Yeah. You don't want... You don't want like a curve to it. Straight across.

It seems going over her natural eyebrow, which you can still see. So, not a good idea. That's true. You should shave your reels. This isn't the how that cartoon characters are sometimes drawn? Just like the straight brow. Yeah. Yeah.

What's going on here? I don't know. We're in... Are we in Bangkok? It looks like horrible. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. That's terrible. Well, that's bad. Yeah, I don't like those. I know, but we just checked. I don't like those. I don't like to see that.

We just checked. We checked. We checked. He's okay. He is okay. I don't like, I mean, I really don't like to see. I know. If a guy, like the guy who gets hit, goes into the car, that's on him. Yeah.

Yeah. This I don't like. Doing a, oh, the wheel is going to end bad. No. Yeah. It's going to end real bad. Fuck. I don't like it already.

He's got the wobblies. But he's okay. He's okay. He's all right. These two teeth are part plastic because when I was third grade, I had a chipper, which was like the chopper bike, but for a little kid. And I was in, I was going down a very steep hill to my friends, and that happened to my, the wheel, front wheel went and then just locked.

And I sprung, and I landed on my face. Yeah, and then a neighbor had to carry me up to back to my house, and my mom was on the phone, and I remember this, you know, like old, old phone from the wall with a little court, like, you know, yeah, nah, nah, nah, nah, and then screaming. Yeah. And then, yeah, I had these. Did it go straight to the hospital? Is that where you go for that?

No, no. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. You had them, you said made out of plastic. They were, like, bonded. They're like stuff that goes on. Every once in a while, maybe seven, eight, eight, nine years.

Yeah. They just, have you ever thought about getting a perfect smile? I have. I have fucked up teeth. We have a perfect smile. We could probably, we could order it for you. Is that a cue? No, it's just that they'll, I know that we've.

Is that a sponsor? Not a sponsor. Yet? We're fans. Yeah. Yeah. What is the perfect smile? Well, they'll pull it up.

The perfect smile is something that can, like really change the way you feel and the way you look you just you just snap it in you should be a spokesman yeah it's very oh no oh those go over your tea yeah it's 14 oh well maybe wouldn't you like to wear that you got to see them in action though do I have to hold my fucking cheats out like that I think all right that you can't do is talk or eat with them in but you can do everything else but I can still scroll TikTok you can definitely yeah scroll I mean look at that It was so natural.

So white. Yeah. If you can find that perfect smile commercial, it's really great. And what's really cool about that product is they tell you to put them in hot water and then glue them to your actual. Yeah. Which sounds like good advice. Like just glue them on there. Yeah.

$14 is what. It's a good deal. It's a really good deal. But I would rather pay $80 just. It would make me feel better if it was the exact same product. It's like, it's more. Yeah. I know.

Here you go. You're like, 14 for my teeth. Just about your broken, crooked, and missing teeth. Do you hide your smile because you're ashamed of unsightly gaps and cracks? Wait, are they just now finding out what they look like? Those are, sorry, but those are real. Yeah. The ones they just showed.

That's clear. That's clear. It instantly gives you the look of perfect teeth. smile of that. The perfect smile fits right over your existing teeth. So you can always put your best advantage. Oh my goodness. This is like late night.

I know. It's amazing. And the problem, too, with the perfect smile is that the gums are bright red. So you look infected and inflamed. Oh, my God, that's a bad idea. You have nice teeth and you have gum disease. That is the most redneck shit I've ever seen.

It's the perfect smile. It's the perfect smile. Yeah. I, because. I don't know. Whatever happens this week will not destroy your life. Seriously. Not true.

Not true. You are strong enough to get through it. You are going to get through it. No. And you can move on with your life. This person hasn't lived. You'll be okay. You got this.

You'll have a good week. Thanks. Now go have a wonderful day and I look forward to hearing about it. Thanks, furry. Yeah. That's pretty neat. How do you feel about furries? I'm very much a, as long as it doesn't affect me, you can do whatever you want.

You can be, say, feel whatever you want, as long as it doesn't, and nothing would. But I still think, man, that's kind of fucked up. You know what I mean? Like, it's, I have the same reaction that most people would. But I'm also very much like, hey, man. Yeah. It's sort of like when someone's into shit play, they're like, I like someone to shit on me. And you're like, that's fine, but what's going on?

For real. Why? But I feel like that opinion. has been lost. It's a very nuanced way of being where you go, hey man, you're still fucking mentally ill, but I'm not going to stop you from being nutty. I just, it's, it's, it's so unappealing. It becomes very curious, right? Like, uh, I actually have started this, I don't want to say it, because it's, I'm working on it, but a bit, a bit about beastiality. and the, you know, sure, on paper, it's not, it feels like that's not cool, but, you know, has anybody really checked with the animals?

Right. Right? Yeah. There's, there's so much that, like the other thing, Rule 34, you know, Rule 34, it's that, it's that, I'm paraphrasing, it, but like, anything is acceptable in porn. Like, I think it applies to cartoon, like, when you see Bart Simpson or the family guy lady and she's, you know, fucking.

Can I say that? Yeah, okay. That's Rule 34. Okay. Okay. Pull it up. Pull it up. on guys you got the machine thing yeah oh rule 34 you're right yeah and and it's all the that stuff to me is

like wow that's not appealing but and that's like kind of the furry thing right or the you know what you know what it's bothersome to me is to take things that you liked as a child oh there is there there's a porn of it, no exceptions. Yeah, that's Rule 34. Yeah. There's a porn version that's appealing to somebody of that thing. Yeah. Yeah.

There's always a cool porn out there, whatever you want. It exists. There's a magazine that I, there's a place on 7th Street that used to have all these international crazy, not, you know, just catering to every fetish and whatever. also like political magazines and all this stuff and I got uh my mom had uh I can't remember what it was but some something that she had to go uh like an elective surgery or whatever she had to go to the hospital and she was in the um a hospital room for a private room for like two or three days and I got all these magazines and put them out of her reach

I got a There's a magazine called Splush or Splush or something like that It was British You know women who Uh oh I dropped a thing of Oatmeal on me And that was the whole thing

It's like You get it for your mom So I put it But I put it on this dresser that was Like across from her bed And she was kind of You know Had to stay in the bed

And like these lesbian magazines And a communist worker magazine I got on these And she was so unhappy with me. David, take those. Take those way. All right, mom, I got to go. Gotta go back to New York.

Bye. Yeah. It's nothing more fun than torsing a mother. But also to go and to see like, wow, and the poorest quality. Just. Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Why didn't they, no production value? No production value. Why do the Brits love that? The Brits are really into es and spanking and sploshing. It's so funny. Yeah, the Brit, it was a British magazine, Splush or Splash.

Yeah, they love that shit. But they also did dogging. What's that? That's where you go, where somebody goes in a car. Like, you go to like a field, right? You bring, and you drive there, and then you fuck somebody. And then you go around, like strangers will go around and jerk off while they're watching you. Oh, that's kind of nice.

That is nice. It's sweet. It's communal, yeah. Dogging. Yeah, British English slang term for a gauge and watching others doing so. There you go. That seems harmless. No, it's fun.

And again, again, nobody. What? There's a panther in the house. Holy shit. The Ruski's and some of the Middle Easterns will do this. There you go. They'll have like a bobcats. And those are nice lace curtains, by the way.

My nana had those in her apartment in Hungary, too. Oh, my great-grandfather had a Black Panther. No. No, he didn't. He did not. In Leeds, England? Oh, my God. Yeah, how come the English don't do this?

This is specifically Eastern blogger. This is very cultural. Well, they're more sophisticated. I think that's why they want the BDSM and stuff. There's such a... I didn't know. I didn't know that was, I thought that was more like German. Oh, yeah.

I don't know. Maybe you're right. I don't think it's British. I know, I know dogging and, uh, and splooshing or splosh, whatever it is. Splush. I think it's sploosh. And, uh. But there were all these flyers in the 90s when I lived in England for Dominatrixes and get spanking.

Like in the, in the, uh, phone box. Yes. And I was like, is this really? It wasn't just straight up hookers. It was very specific. It was always get spanked. Madam so-and-so will punish you. We know who's way, way into BDSM is the Hasidic community.

No. Yes, absolutely. I'm not joking. Because I know a dominator. You know, do you know Dino Stambatopoulos? No. No. So I knew he was married to a dominatrix for quite a while.

and she, who's British, interestingly, she used to work in the East Village, Lower East Side, and the bulk of her and I met her friends and, you know, and that was her job. That was her work. And it was not a, you know, it wasn't a taboo or anything. She would just talk about it like, yeah, this is, you know, I had this client today. And a lot of their clients were Chisina. For real. Wow.

Yeah. And I had heard that before or after at some point. Doesn't that make sense when somebody lives like more strictly by a court? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So they want to release. Well, that's the same thing as like the latent homosexuals and the Christian community.

Yeah, we were just talking about that. Like the priest. I mean, not the priest. Or the, um, like the pastor. Like the pastor. The politician or the pastor who's anti-gay and he gets busted for that. All the time. All the time.

Yeah. And so, yeah, if you live in that kind of. you know, restrictive. Yeah. All the more reason to be like, hey man, you do what you want to do. Just don't affect me or my family. Oh, for sure.

Go do that weird shit. Do y'all gay stuff if you won't. If you want to be friends with Satan. Oh, that's pretty cool, Christine. Oh, I think this is awesome. Oh, wow. I mean, you've never seen that before, though, right? Nope.

And you sure you don't want TikTok? I can send me. to you if you want. Oh, and the eyes. He did his eyes too. Yeah. Interesting. Yep. God, man, the amount of I can't imagine the regret

if you do regret it later of like, God. Where do you see it? Where's the potential regret? Just the eyes. I think everything else. Pretty solid. I mean, the mustard ketchup thing is pretty cool. It's so convenient. It is convenient. Yeah. I mean,

Are you tired of having to constantly dip your fry? In front of you. So awful. It's fucking amazing. And then he split his tongue on top of it. What do you think came first? Wow. You're really.

Tongue. Tongue first. Yeah. Tongue first. No, the ears first. Oh, right. The plugs and that horse shit. He's got to stretch out his love.

And then he's like, you know what? The nose is bold, though. I got to do the tongue. and then he was like eyes I think eyes and then the nose but how did he connect

that he could find containers all this though is just is just him being like fuck you dad yes without question

or just trying to get his dad's approval yeah like now yeah his dad was you know was a carny

yeah oh that's great oh look and he's got a horn in his forehead too so he's had that that that in play out

Yeah. Yeah. So much. Body mod. Fucking awesome, man. This guy's rad. Got one more here, I think. What's your big clothes?

Oh my gosh. For about her bonnet. Oh, no. This is why I wear bonnets. The first reason is that I like them. That is a good reason. But they also serve quite a few functions for me that might not be obvious. I live with a severe sound sensitivity called hyperacusus.

I rarely leave the house. But when I do, I need to wear things that protect Oh. Ear plugs are easily hidden with bonnets. So when I wear a bonnet, you can't tell that I have hearing protection. God, Lena Dunham has really, really. And that's okay, it's just not my preference for that to be seen. If I'm not wearing earplugs, I'm wearing noise-canceling headphones,

which slip really nicely over my bonnets. But with hats, they aren't quite as effective and they need little gaps. This is a long explanation for fuck's sake. Also, also, don't. Don't, um, don't chickens make noise? I was all day. All day. I would think.

Rabbits don't make noise. That's right. I mean, there are other things to get. What if in the second half of this video, and she goes, and that's why I ripped the vocal voice out of all my chickens. With my bare hands. Fucking A.

And do you think she really has hyper-cook-poopsis? No. I don't think so. Yeah. I think that's just one of those. I have a condition. Is that, look behind her. Yeah.

That's a fucking blender, isn't it? Yeah. Wait, hang on. It's a fucking blender. She's making cakes and shit. It's a loud life. She's making loud cakes. Yeah.

Loud ass cakes. Loud cakes with chickens running around. No one's buying your story, ma'am. A hyper cute. Get the fuck out of here. Back on the bed. Just so. can stroke your head.

If you want me to stop, I can't understand. I will be gentle. This is in her feed. You understand that, right? Yeah, why? What's happening? Do you feel, look, he's trying to romance you, dude.

Let him romance you. With my two hands. Don't you feel seduced? Let you back on the, okay, he's telling us what he'd do with both of his hands. Or no, he has more than two. But what he's going to do with two of them.

The two of them. Yeah. Lay you back on the... You ever see this guy at a show? Just like it's strike your head. If you want me to stop, I can understand. I will be gentle with my two hands. Yeah.

My two hands on. My two hands. Okay. Wow, what a nice way to fucking wrap things up. The two hands song. That was so cool. But I want him to stroke my head. You know I like head scratchy.

Yeah, of course. Who doesn't like head scratches? It's my favorite. Absolutely. I'd let him scratch me. David Cross has a new special. It's the end of the beginning of the end. It is out now on YouTube.

We here at YMH Studios produced it along with some other friends, but let's talk about us. And you can watch right now. You're hilarious as always. Thank you for coming by. Thank you for letting us work with you. Absolutely. My pleasure. It was a pleasure. And, yeah, I can't wait for you to come back.

I hope you come back soon, man. Yeah. Thank you. See you guys next week. My mom's. This is Captain Moselle. Moselle. My sister went down. Down to the mountain.

You might be a TikTok. Tick-Tock. I got to say my sister. Bye. Bye. Tell everybody I be back. I need me backup. I'll see you later.

Bye. Just waiting for my lunch. Just waiting for my lunch. Just waiting for my lunch. I ordered a buffalo burger. My nanner, my natter, my nander. Turn a buffalo mark. And her.

Burn a buffalo mark. Because I got the movie.