Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Skankfest Surprise w/ Luis J. Gomez | Your Mom's House Ep. 846

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

SPONSORS: - Check out the new show from Ian Fidance "IAN DO: AN ODD GUY DOIN ODD JOBS" new episodes every other Tuesday! https://youtube.com/@IanFidanceComedy - Visit https://BlueChew.com to get 10% off your first month! - Go to https://Quince.com/mom for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. - Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. - New Customers Bet $5 Get $300 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #DKPartner This week on Your Mom’s House, Christina P welcomes comedian and Skankfest co-founder Luis J. Gomez for an absolutely unhinged episode with some heart. This episode has it all, Skankfest stories, public defecation, cartel scam calls, jailhouse etiquette, roommate revenge, Norm's poutine fries, and members of the marginalized community doing what they do best. Luis shares how Skankfest grew from a small idea into one of the most unique comedy festivals in the country, including what sets the audience apart and why their fans are the most respectful degenerates you'll ever meet. The episode also takes a turn into real-world experiences as Luis talks about run-ins with the law, what it’s actually like spending a night in jail, and how people learn the unspoken rules of that environment quickly. He also tells a memorable story about a former roommate that escalated far beyond a normal disagreement and Christina unleashes her curations onto her new homie, Luis. See you on the goth cruise! Your Mom’s House Ep. 846 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, [phone] or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $300 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Token expires 2/1/26. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 1/25/26 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:43 - Skankfest, Defecation, & Poutine Fries 00:06:40 - Opening Clip: 50 Single & Horny 00:15:38 - Catching Charges 00:24:45 - Locked Up 00:31:34 - Clip: Bald Date Prep 00:35:42 - Clip: Diaper Reveal 00:40:28 - Clip: Lakefront Property 00:43:33 - Clip: Common Area Argument 00:50:07 - Skankfest Stories 00:55:53 - Openly Freaky 01:04:34 - TikToks 01:20:18 - Wrap Up 01:21:38 - Closing Song - "Pegged (OMG)" by Odd-Track Numbers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. At MedCan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan, live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Welcome to your mom's house.

Tim is still in L.A. Filming Bad Thoughts too, which we'll tell you a little bit about I got to do a part on It's Nuts. But with me, we've waited so long to have it on the show. Please put your hands together for Louis J. Gomez. Thank you for having me here. Yeah, you guys are awesome, man.

You're, you're, I've honestly, I met you three minutes ago and I love you already. You have a great energy. Thank you, Louis. Can I tell you why? Please. Because you are the creator of Skank Fest. Yeah. And I am the creator of showing videos of guys shitting on French fries and eating it and making it into a podcast.

So I feel like you and I are kindred spirits. Yeah, yeah. I think we're seeing the world from a very similar lens. Yeah, yeah. And we've had Ari Shafir, who was at Skangfest two years ago, now he's in the woods somewhere in like the Amazon jungle or whatever. But he actually shit on stage. Yes, I believe that.

No, he did. He did during a Kill Tony thing. It was like, I don't even know what was going on. I like Skangfest is so, it's all one venue, right? So there's all these rooms and you pop into different rooms and there's all the shit happening. And I walk in. I was like, oh, Kill Tony was doing a secret show. I was like, let me go to Kill Tony and see what's going on.

I walk in and it was like performance art. Ari was completely naked. He had cardboard on the floor, and he was playing with his own shit. Well, everyone was just like, what the fuck are we watching? I just walked into the room, and I was like, okay, I don't want to be here. And I walked straight out. It was wild. Is there footage of this?

No, no, no, no. He almost got us in a lot of trouble. Why is that illegal? I think it's illegal on so many different levels. And where was this? That was Las Vegas. We were in New Orleans last year, and we're in New Orleans coming up again in November this year. And I feel like those people would allow.

public defecation. Well, the Skankfest fans loved it, but yeah, yeah, I mean, the venue owners in Vegas didn't love it. Now, here's the thing I always, I'm curious about. Will you bring up Norm Sumerton, the Poutine? Sure. The amount, like, how does one relax enough to take a shit in front of a large group of people? Because I can't even take a dump with my kids in front of me, bothering me like the stress of it like I need full relaxation I need an iPhone you're a woman I'm assuming you've never taken a shit so maybe shut your fucking mouth right now and stop grossing everyone out you're a beautiful woman and is that shit I'm drinking it looks like a cup of shit look at that oh you're a fucking savage that disgusting it's a hot cup of diarrhea

hmm this is what guess is what gets me go here I want you to watch this gentleman Maybe you can book him for Skank Fest. He's got beautiful breasts. Today we're going to make French Canadian Poutine fries. What are Poutine fries? Well, Poutine fries are basically your fries, cheese, and a great appetite. However, there's going to be a bit of a change to the recipe. Everybody likes to change the recipe up.

These ones are going to have fries, cheese, pig shit, and pig piss. Ooh, it's going to be. be a treat. Wow. Okay, so let's get things happening. Yeah, see. There's the fries. We'll pee on the fries first.

Oh, he's got a huge dick. Having a nice dump on my fries. How does he pee through the? I'd be happy with that. If I had that dick, I'd actually be happy. I'm not even lying about that. Stop.

Make sure all the fries are covered in. He's got to cover all. Like that. So much piss. Now that I've seen this, this is the fifth. It's a ton of piss. Well, hold on.

It gets better. No, I've been feeling where it's going. There we go. Watch the spread and watch the timing. Just right away. That's wild. That looked like AI, the way that came out. This is pre-A-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-I-W-You flinched.

That wasn't good. I made Louis J. Gomez flinch. Tell me he doesn't eat it. Joe Rogan should do this to make people audition for the the mothership. And they would. Like there'd be a line of, there'd be 300 people in the bar next door to the mothership

waiting to eat Joe Rogan's shit and piss on French fries. Here's the best part though. Are you ready? Hold on, let me get my cup of diarrhea to watch it. Right here, hey. Nice, you are being French Canadian

is so good, hey? Oh, look at this gooey, cheese and crustace. I mean, who is this for? For you. You and me, babe. But, oh, come on. Is there anybody else that, like, is this like a kink for somebody? Are people jerking off to it?

Or is it some sort of like, is that what it is? They jerk off. Can I tell you. Okay, that's enough. Thank you, Josh. Here's what I've learned in my whatever, almost 20 years of doing the show. If there's a guy making a video, there's a guy jerking off to the video. It's very astute.

Yeah. Nothing exists in the universe What men are doing this The only purpose Is to make somebody's penis hard And to come That's it Yeah, yeah

I mean That's it I've never met anybody Who's really into his shit That's not sure Big Jay loves to watch shit videos And he acts like it's because he's interested in them But it's like there's no reason

Like he's watched them all Like he could reference them like it's old movies So maybe he does jack off to shit videos Sorry like ship isn't not like this type Not this, like a hot chick dropping a deuce or a chick farting. Can I tell you some? Easy money. Easy money.

And if my career died tomorrow, you better believe feet. Feet. Shitting, farting, easiest money in the world. You just show your tits. I'm sorry? I think you could just show your tits. I don't, I got, you know, I don't know. Mine are kind of jacked.

I had surgeries and stuff. Oh, yeah, and you're kids. Yeah. Right. My tits are old and shitty. But that's still better than shit. That's probably, it's a more. acceptable kink old shitty tits old shitty tits well that's your nickname old shitty tits

that's who i am we haven't even done our opening clip this one's i mean that was that set the buy the bar pretty high yeah but here's my opening clip for you are you ready this guy oh man oh here we go fucking bitch tits you fucking dummy oh you sexy facebook woman if you're lonely you're lonely you want to you know me i'm in w nebraska i'm not going to get my address out on facebook because there too many riddles out there somebody might try at home evasion i have to fucking kill you know what i mean so but anyway but uh thanks randy don't bring anyone muzzle to this Cheers to this guy.

Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Sigura, and Christina Pajitzy. Welcome to your mom's house. Yeah, you feel it? Not enough podcasts have fun radio intros anymore. I love it. I love it.

This is good. Can we call this guy? Call this guy? Yeah, his number is up the top. Can we call him? Dude, I didn't even realize that, Louis. Like, he's fucking legit. We know where he is.

He's in Nebraska, but don't give out address. He'll put his phone number there. With his phone number, I think you just have one Google search from finding his address, his family members. There's a great scam. You've never gotten a hooker, Christina. But let me tell you, there's a great scam. Yeah.

If you call around and try to get a hooker, right? What will do is these people that are scammers, they put, it'll be like, it'll be like a number. or whatever, you're like, hey, you know, I'm interested in meeting with this girl, you start negotiating, whatever. Maybe they answer you, maybe they don't. But it's not even a hooker.

It's probably just some Asian somewhere in another country or whatever, but what they do is that you'll get a text message and they'll say, this is like, you know, Warito, Carlos, whatever, from the whatever cartel in Mexico, you waste in my girls time, we're gonna fucking come and kill you now if you don't pay us $2,000. And then they give you, they put your home address,

your family members, your contacts, and then, you, you can, you know, you start freaking out. And then they send you, like, pictures of, like, dismembered body parts, like, beheaded people. It's a very common scam that this happens. It's not really the cartel. It's just some person just, because they're assuming one percent of the people that get this,

go, fuck, I got to, you would freak out. I'm a dummy. The first time, dude, the first time I was like, fuck, what am I going to do? I imagine, like, the guy that's, like, married, right? He goes home. He's like, babe, we've got to move. We got to get him. He's not being out his bank accounts.

He's unlocking his gun from under his bed because he thinks the cartel is coming. Oh my God. I would shit my pants so hard if I got that. Very common scam. I didn't know that. So if you're getting hookers, boys, that might happen.

There's a lot of people going like, oh shit, dude, I felt for that one right now. Well, that's why we do this show to help. We're helping. Help people out. Wait, can we call this guy? Sure. What's his name again?

Hold on. Let me just make sure we, let me get his rap again. Hold on. Here you are. Why would have to put his phone number? That's crazy. Oh, you sexy Facebook woman.

If you're lonely, you want to. That's you? Me? I'm in Bellevue, Nebraska. W. Nebraska? Bellevue? I'm going to give my address out on Facebook because there too many wordles out there. Somebody might try a home of Facebook.

Well, I got to tell you something. Chances are Bellevue, Nebraska's not that big to begin with. No, yeah. Everybody knows who this. Everyone knows exactly who this guy is. He's the guy who posts this. I mean, I wonder if it's ever worked. He's going to shit himself right now

and start eating it on some french fries once he gets a phone call from a real woman. Do you think, do you think he's gotten any phone? How do we do it? How do we do it? How do I, I'm 50? How do I, what do I? I'll be like, hey, I'm 50.

Yeah, I'll be like, I'm. Oh, I was on Facebook. Lots of technology here at the Murat House Studios. What's his name? I don't think we have. What's his name? David. David.

Oh my god, I've never done this before. Are you ready? This is the best. What should I say? Just get him hard. Get him so jacking off. If you get him to start jacking off, I'll donate $1,000 to any charity of your choice.

No, I swear to God. I swear to God. And I'm doing to any charity, the Nazi party, like whatever you want me to donate money to, I will. What should the goal be? What should we do? I just want to like, I want him to tell me about himself. Okay, right.

David? that's his name hi if you record your name and reason for calling I'll see if this person is available I'm a sexy Facebook lady Hi my name is Tracy

and I'm a Facebook lady No Nope that's him Nope Nope no thanks topic Nope no way

What was the charge What was the charge Is this an active warrant I'm not even Violate protection He violated a protection order? What's that mean?

Like, is that a restraining order? Probably, yeah. He violated a restraining order? You know what? The man knows what he wants. You know what? I wish you the best. I hope you find love in your life, David. And then if she doesn't want to love you,

just find it again and again with that same woman, apparently. I'm just an odd guy doing odd jobs. I'll race you. I'm Ian Firedance. Hey, how are you? And each week, I'm in different towns across the country doing stand-up comedy and to keep me from rotting in my business. bed or putting a gun to my head. I get you to teach me how to do your job.

Ian do, an odd guy doing odd jobs. YouTube.com slash Ian Fridayance comedy every other Tuesday produced by YMH. I got to rip a fart too, bro. Let it lose. Toot, Toot. I'll see you out there. How long you've been working here? Fellas, you already know what time it is. It's time to level up and Blue Chew just dropped something crazy. I'm talking next level. Championship belt gold-plated energy. Blue-chew gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable ED brand. This is the four-in-one beast that's setting the gold standard for performance. We're talking two ingredients for blood flow to keep that rocket pumping mixed with epimorphine and oxytocin

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Yeah, you know, when I was younger. Have you been arrested? Not for driving drunk. Are you allowed? Like, when you catch charges, are you allowed? I've caught charges. So I grew up, I was in New York City for 20 years. So weed only became legal very recently.

So I was arrested for smoking weed maybe 10 times. Just, and they put you in central bookings for the night. You spend the night in jail, though, but it sucks. It's annoying. And then I got arrested one. time um the only time i've been seriously arrested was for menacing and harassment and uh it was my i had a roommate um this is like right this is right before my son's mother got pregnant so this is probably like 15 years ago something like that and um me and this guy just fucking didn't like

each other you know you move in you answer an ad on craigslist and you know i show up and uh this guy was like a duchy like he was in law school who's just this like rich kid like but it was like a shitty apartment and I had my own entrance he had his own entrance it was kind of a cool deal it was it was in hell's kitchen so it was um you know uh you know a decent enough area in new york city right west side um close to the west side highway it's decent i heard it's not very nice it's a lot of gays that's very hateful that's all you've heard oh it's gay i understand down in austin you guys are fucking bigots but up in new york were very open-minded i didn't know that was the gays i thought the gays were the village it's well it's really although all along the west side so from hell's kitchen

which is like the 40s and 50s on the west side Chelsea like the 20s on the west side Chelsea's big gay Then down to the West Village That whole strip is pretty gay So they have such so much territory They have a lot of the gay It's a rainbow going over the west side highway

Yeah good for them So was this gentleman gay? No no no it was just a dude You know just a law school I see what you're implying Not that you're a raging homosexual You heard it here first on your mom's house Louis Jane Gomez

No just a normal dude and whatever. But a law student, which is not normal. I went to law school for two whole weeks. They're not normal. He was a dick.

It sucks. So we ended up just starting to bump heads or whatever. And then eventually... What were you bumping? Hold on. What were the arguments about? Were you stealing his food, be honest?

No, no, no, no. Nothing like that. It was just, we just didn't really like each other and it became a thing where I was leaving. I was ready to move on, right? We weren't friends. We weren't, it was a short-lived sort of like thing.

And it was the summertime. and he, it was like, it was his place. I was renting the room from him, so his name was on the lease, right? So I was getting ready to go. And I guess I owed money for utilities still. And he's like, bro, you gotta give me the utility money. And I was like, of course,

I'm gonna give you the utility money. I was like, I'm trying to find an apartment right now have to put a deposit, just give me, like, I was never planning on giving this kid the utility money. It was not happening, right? So he could smell that. His fucking law, his lawyer nose went off.

So, um. Was he big nose? He was. Was he? No, I don't think he was. A little R-E-T. I don't think he was, but yeah,

he was like, yeah, you gotta give me money. And I was like, no, I'll give it to you when I leave. And he could tell I was lying. So he had, this was during a heat wave

in August in New York City. Oh, New York City in the summertime. Yeah. Like, I mean, I'm going to go wrong. You're here in Texas. Dude, Texas in the summertime is pure fucking hell. This place is insane.

But New York heat cooks in the smells of the city. Yes, it does. It's a different vibe. And it's very humid. It's very, like, the exhaust, like it's just, it's a lot. And we were going through like a heat wave, like five, six days in a row.

It was like 105, 106 degrees, which is really hot for New York City. And it was his air conditioner in my window. It was his unit, right? So I was out promoting comedy clubs. I used to be a comedy clip promoter. Yes, I guess he had probably 16 years ago. And he goes, I come home and he took the air conditioner out of my window. No, he fucking did.

During a heat wave. And I had a Jack Russell Terrier that I used. never ever got groomed so he just had thick hair so it was like I had a fan but with the fan which it was like whirlwinds of dog hair and he it was you'd go into the room it was truly hell like the worst so then I to retaliate I started cleaning the toilet with his toothbrush and jerking off in a shampoo bottle I mean the race I've ever been was that week as I'm just angrily jerking into a shampoo bottle I was like take this you fucking motherfucker oh dude every The time he shower and I would just fucking listen over gas.

He's fucking got my jizz on his head. Hold on, though. That is diabolical. Yeah, yeah. Who would ever think of jizzing in a man's shampoo bottle? Guys, that's a gift for the world. You guys can do that to your roommates. Another gift.

Yeah, we're just giving you gifts today. Yeah. Bro, that's diabolical because it's like, you don't even know that's there because you're not tasting it. You might catch a whiff of something. I'd be like, is that? No. Honestly, it probably made his hair shine here.

I think it's good. I think it's good for your hair, to be honest. So this fool. took his unit, the fucking AC unit, out of your room. Just on the assumption that you would stiff him for the utilities. Is that what I'm hearing? He was right. All of his instincts were correct.

No, I know. But like, you're not supposed to, so he starts the war with you. I'm on your side here. I'm your attorney on this. Good. Thank you. Side? Yeah.

Okay, so go ahead. So you're jerking off into his thing. You're cleaning a toilet. Smart. Yes, obviously. Just doing what I have to do, you know. Obviously, Lewis. I'm on your side.

I hate this guy, right? So, so I guess I'm out one day. I'm in Times Square promoting the comedy club, right? Because that's how I got my start in comedy. He was promoting comedy clubs. It wasn't barking. It was actually selling tickets. But he calls me, he's like, yeah, dude,

I got to get the cable box out of your room. And I'm like, don't touch the fucking cave. Don't even go in my room, right? Because I guess he had to return it because we were, I was leaving. And I was like, don't go in my room. I'll give you when I get home. He's like, I'm going into your room

to take it right now. And I was like, if you go to your room, in my room, I'm going to come and beat your fucking ass. I'm going to come and fuck you up. He's like, I'm in your room right now. You're not going to do anything. So I start, I mean, running home. I remember Bobby Kelly lived on my book.

And Bobby Kelly was like, you know, fucking legend already. Like, I'm a young comic. I see Bobby Kelly. He's like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm going to beat up my roommate. He's like, you're going to get arrested, dude. I was like, no, I'm not. I'm fucking run to the house, dude.

And, yeah, we get into this big argument, his girlfriend's there, and I'm making them look like a bitch. I'm Puerto Rican. And so we just talk shit in a way where it's like, You didn't have to tell me, I know it, you can tell. I felt your fucking damage. You have extra security here for that reason. Love it.

So I'm talking like just, I mean, real like ghetto shit. Tell me, how do you flip shit? Because like, what do you fucking mother? I'm like, I'm trying to get him to like, I want to get him to hit me for whatever it is. Like I'm not. Smart. Because that way you don't catch charges because you're defending.

And yeah, he's in law school. He's that kid who's going to fucking call the cop. So I'm just, I'm, so do something you little fucking. I was like, yeah, you fucking, you know, whatever it is. I'm getting, I'm getting very Puerto Rican. Do you speak Spanish? No, no, no, no. But I get a Spanish accent when I get angry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It turns into, you fucking bitch, do it. Yeah, what's up, bitch ass, motherfucker? Turned to a Mexican. Yeah, what's up, Bato. I know we went Mexican. Yeah, we were Mexican, but. Was Puerto Rican like Rosie Perez.

Yeah, that's kind of, that's what I was doing. Yeah, you're like, what's up with her? What's off with you? Okay, sorry, go ahead. So, this is, this is fascinating. Yeah, yeah. So, Chad. is defending himself.

He's defending himself, but he's just, you know, you can tell. He fucking beat his ass. I'm out for him. But I didn't hit him. I ended up just bitching him out in front of his girlfriend. Damn.

And then I put, I had a fishing knife. An old fishing knife. It was a shitty old knife. In your room or in your pocket. It was a knife that I had like growing up. I would go fishing. I grew up in the suburbs. So we would go fishing.

And it's like a little shitty fishing knife. And I put it on top of the cable box to let, him know if you touch this cable box, I'm going to fucking murder you. Yeah. Yes. It was specifically very menacing. And I would understand if he felt harassed in this moment. So I left that on the, that was that?

Then I went back out and I did my thing. And I go out to shows that night. You know, me and Dave Smith, who's a great comic I do with Legion's Gangs with. We're hanging out. We're doing our thing. And apparently he called the cops like a pussy. while it was out in my show. What a little bitch, right?

So I come home and I go to walk my dog sport, right? Me and Dave Smith are there and we're coming out and there's cops coming up the stairwell. And they were like, do you live in apartment 2B? And I was in 2A because we had separate entrances. So I was like, no, I was like 2A. So I go out and then I'm like, I'm like, Dave's like, dude, let's just go. You're going to get arrested.

I was like, I'm not getting arrested. It's my word versus his word. We're not realizing that lawyer versus Puerto Rican, you're never winning that argument. So yeah, I come back up and they arrested me. Yeah, they put me in cuffs, had to go to jail. Big J. O'Kerson's wife was a lawyer at the time. So luckily, she ended up coming down.

And if you have a lawyer, they sort of move you to the head. If you're using the public defender, you're waiting on a very long list. I would have been there for like four or five days. So I was only in jail for like a day for that. The charges got dropped and that was that. Was she a criminal defense lawyer or just any lawyer? I don't know what the fuck she did. Well, because I'm saying if you just have any time,

type of lawyer because any lawyer can't represent you, I assume. It doesn't have to be their brand of law. That's a hot tip too, Lewis. It's like, hey, if you got a friend who's a lawyer doesn't have to be a criminal, it bumps you up. This is a really good hot tip. Good hot tip. Make that your first fucking phone call.

Do they really give you one phone call? Do you get one phone call? No, no, there's a phone. There's like a pay phone so you can keep on going back to it and using it if you need to. Pay phone. So do you need quarters? No, I think you're just doing like collect calls. Oh, that's smart.

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New customers turn five bucks into 300 if your bet wins, paid in bonus bets. Just sign up using the promo code, Mom. That's M-O-M. The Crown is yours. offer. But I remember, so I couldn't go back to the house. All my belongings were there. And it's so funny because my son's mother had to pack up everything with Nate Bargazzi, who was actually my son's godfather. And me and Nate are like the whole, like, Nate had to go to this little shitty apartment. He's like, it's like I watched him at Madison Square Garden like six months ago with my son. And I just

think back to like him having to move everything out of this little shitty apartment with my son's mother. It's like, what a crazy world. What a crazy world. Yeah. But most importantly, when you're in jail for that one night, you're overnight once, yeah? Yeah. I've heard that there's one toilet in the room and that you have to take a shit and piss in front of everybody in the room. And there's no French fries. So that's that. Fuck, dude.

Why? You just do it right in the bowl. It's wasted materials, as they say. But I'm serious. Isn't this, isn't this true? Yeah, there is. And it's like a toilet. It's just like out in the middle of the fucking, what?

Yeah. So did you make a brown while you were there? No, you'd pee. Some people do, and you're supposed to flush it. Like, as it comes out, you keep on flushing it. Otherwise, everyone gets mad. Is that a rule explicitly stated in the room? Yeah, if one of somebody goes take a shit, everyone's like,

yo, make sure you flush that right away. They tell you. Yeah, they say it a little blacker. Yo. Yo. Yo. Don't be sticking up this play show. And what kind of gentlemen are you in there with?

And I'm assuming it's only gentlemen. They separate their way. Yeah, you're with all the dudes. and it's everybody from like, so I was, in that time, it was more like actual violent. It's kind of funny, they put the violent criminals together. Yeah. And it's like, when you get arrested for smoking weed,

it's just like do sweet nights in New York City, or they used to anyway. You know, I think they started changing things because they were stopping and frisking, like, just, you know, Puerto Rican and black kids. So the numbers were massively inflated, right? So you just, every, everybody had weed on them. Like, every NYU college student,

that was a white kid also had weed on them. But they weren't getting, like, stopped. So when you look at the numbers in New York City, it was only brown people getting arrested. It was kind of a weird system, right? But when you get arrested for smoking weed or open container or public urination, that was sort of, they would do sweet nights. You'd be in the cell with all those types of people. And people that were like in like violent fights or like stealing, things like that, they were sort of separated. So it was almost like a class of criminal. So yeah, I was with more like, but here's the thing. A lot of people, you get the people that have been through the system a lot. Like once

you're arrested seven times, you know it's only 24 hours. You're like, it's just not that big of a deal. The first time, you're like, what the fuck's going on? Like, is my life over? But by the time, the six or seventh time, you go, you go, this is kind of, it's, you know. It's whatever. It's whatever. It's not a big deal. You kind of have fun. You joke around. You can buy weed. You buy cigarettes. Like, though. In the cell. In the cell. People will sneak stuff. And some people are doing heroin and getting really fucked up. But, um, yeah, it's kind of in a weird way. Like, there's like a camaraderie. Yeah, of course. And you're just kind of like, everyone's waiting some some people know like you know if they have a warrant and they're going to like prison prison

you can kind of see those guys like yeah they're going to come get me um some guys just refuse to give their name more information so they'll be in this cell for like a week and it's like they just refuse because they're i think going to prison's probably worse than being in just like the jail for sure now do you have to spread and cough just to go to jail or that's when they check you into prison when they check you and you don't you don't have to do it actually in the cell but i did just for fun just to make friends i just wanted to like show everyone that I was friendly. Well, look, are you single? No, I just

I just got locked up. You did got locked up? Just again. So maybe but maybe you have some friends that are single. I just, I want to show you this video, this girl sent in. Oh, I cheat. So whatever. Oh, yeah, perfect. Okay, so this chick just sent this in. She heard you were coming. I didn't know if you wanted to.

What do you think? I hate when they do that. Oh, it's a ASMR. She's getting ready for her big date with you. I've hooked up with worse. No. Yes, I have. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?

I hooked up. I've hooked up with. Was she in jail? It's a good jail. If you're going to go to prison, this is the haircut. This is the one. Right? It's not bad.

No. So wait, you've hooked up with worse than her? Yeah, 100%. Without a doubt. Really? Worse than a head-shaped skullet. Yeah, she's kind of cute. I mean, like, you know, if you really, if you forget the hair,

body's decent, face is cute. She's gonna be a freak. She's into weird shit. Yes, this is true. No, you're right, because the damage is out there. She's like, I am traumatized. Here's what I, somebody did stuff to me younger. And now I'm gonna, I'm gonna be a good day.

Now I'm gonna put my fingers in your butt. That's that woman. My girlfriend now, she won't touch my butthole. I won't touch times. I won't touch Tom's. Just one finger? Nope, I'm terrified. Never one finger.

Can I tell you why? Please. My husband is large and hairy. And I have, I've perused the area. And it's so hot and steamy in there. You know what I mean? It's like, it's humid. Yeah.

And I don't like it. It's like New York in July. I'm Dodd's asshole. It's New York in July. You nailed it. Yeah. Yes. And I get scared of the heat.

Is that everybody's butthole? I think, you know, I get to be honest with you. I never noticed a lot of heat coming off of a woman's asshole. I think it's just men because there's a lot of heat coming at a moment. my asshole too unquestionably you think there is like have you empirically tested this no i've never touched your own behole well yeah i think sometimes you have to what when you're cleaning but you know when you're cleaning when you're not when i'm whacking it no no that'd be crazy that would be gay do people do that men fingering your own assholes wild that's fucking like legs up that's where you

draw the line two fingers that's crazy i think so too but i don't know you're the skank fest leader. You tell me, you're the originator. I've never, I've never fingered my own asshole. Whatever it is. When there's a girl going down there, that just seems really gay. But when there's a girl going down there, if she wants to put a finger in my ass or like lick my asshole, like, I used to. That's fine. I used to, so you'll lick Tom's asshole. Never in my life. Never, not once. No, I'm a fucking lady. Dude, I have two children. I'm two sons. Yeah. No, them. I am a good Eastern European. They are 10 and seven now. Wow.

No, dude. I'm not a fucking. dirty whore. And can I tell you something? Is that a dirty ho? No. Oh, sorry. I mean, not your lady. Your lady's a sweet. My girl doesn't touch my asshole. She refuses. Why? And why? I've made a couple jokes about it. I'm like Because she's a nice girl. She's a nice girl. Well, she's from Philly, so she's not.

She's a piece of shit. I'm a piece of shit because I'm from the San Fernando Valley and I'm Eastern European too. But I just like, I know, no. I'm old school, babe. Like, I'm old school. I'm from the 1900. I'm nine. I'm old. Old, yeah, like I can't. I'm not licking a dude's asshole.

It's not in the fucking repertoire, man. It's a special type of woman that does it. And when I was growing up watching the pornography I grew up on, women weren't doing that shit yet. That was strictly for gay dudes. Yeah. This is not for women to do. I mean, look, dude, my asshole is a goddamn nightmare.

I feel bad. I feel bad when they do it. But, I mean, boy, do I put my legs back and just fucking, I go cross on and put, I stick my tongue out like an OnlyFans wore. Okay, here we go. This is for you then. I'm feeling, are you into this? Let's see.

Let's see. Let me change your tamper. Did you dokey? Did you dokey? Are we talking about interracial relationships? No, I'm against this, actually. This is wrong. What's wrong?

Sick with your own. I agree. That's what I said. This should be illegal. Not in Trump's America. Of course. Well, you're in Texas. Okay, so, okay, so this is, it says when he thinks he's about to hand clap my cheeks,

but I have a diaper on, yes, I'm disabled. And then like the crying, laughing emoji. I'm so confused. What is, what is, what is happening here? So she shit in her disabled diapers. Yeah. And he's going to change her dye-dye. I don't think you should be able to tattoo disabled people.

I agree. That's like, yeah, I feel like, yeah, I feel like. But they're not retarded. What, what type of disability? does she have. When I hear disabled, I'm assuming it's mental every time. I don't know why. Let me see.

Hold on. There's some of this says, read me. Okay. Her name is Chelsea. She's an Instagram personality who posts about her life living. Fredericks. Frederick's ataxia disease, which is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that damages the nervous system spinal cord and cerebellum, causing impaired muscle coordination,

weakness speed. God damn it. Yeah. This poor broad. So, her boyfriend has to change her diaper because she shit herself. Wow. So,

but that's a, here's a thing. Man, there's no, no, no, no, before we go,

oh, there's no man on the planet that's doing that out of the kindness of his heart. As we learn in the opening clip, guys only do stuff because it what? To jerk off. That's right. That's it.

It makes his D heart. He likes it. Yeah. I mean, if you're dating, look, here's the truth. I could never date a girl that has any, like, physical shit at all. If she got scoliosis,

I'm not passing that on to my children possibly. So every time you date, you're thinking in terms of down the road, like, how I should I make babies with them? Well, I have a son, and I think that way. It's like, I'm not going to waste anybody's time. So if a girl has, like, any, like, deformities and shit like that, it ain't happened. I'm not going to, we can't create some fucked up little babies,

you know? Oh, my God. So. So it doesn't make your dick hard, is what you're saying. No, it doesn't make my dick hard. Yeah. What about just changing a dirty die-dye? I changed my son's diapers, but it's like, whatever it is with your kid, you know,

this like puke, shit, whatever else it is. If somebody puked in front of me, I would just start driving. But my son, I don't know why. I'd never had a physical reaction to it when he was a baby or even when he had sick when he was like three, like puked everywhere. He just cleaned it up, you know? Yeah. I had a girl puke in my dick recently.

Really? Yeah, yeah. And it was in a, it was in a loner car from the car dealership because I was getting my tires rotated. And she peaked everywhere. No. It was, it was pure hell, like genuinely the worst. And then she, she was hammered. I was going to say, alcohol puke is really hard to get that smell out of fabric. I have a bit about it that I'm writing. It's like the truth, the truth story was she tried to kill herself. And she was on medications because she was fucking, you know, whacked in the head. She came out to Story Wars, which is a podcast that I do in New York City. And I sent her over a couple drinks, and she wasn't supposed to be drinking because she was on medication. So she got like blackout drunk.

And then afterwards, she's like, let me come home with you. I'm like, no, you're too drunk. She's like, let me suck your dick in your car. I was like, all right, fine, we can do that. And we go out to the car and start sucking my dick. And then, you know, yeah. Oh, God, I almost threw up. Everywhere.

Everywhere. Everywhere. And then I went to go get all the cleaning supplies. And when I came back out, she just left me. She, like, disappeared into the night. So I had to clean up everything. Just disappeared. She just disappeared to the night.

Just scuttled off. Covered to puke. Yeah, like, why? Why would she just disappear? She knows you. She was embarrassed and she was just fucked up. You know where she lives. I don't know her last name.

I have no idea where she lives. But yeah, I had to clean up her puke. And the whole time I'm just dry heaving as I'm like, I mean, it was everywhere. Trying to get puke out of a cup holder. Just the worst. You know what I hate, like I have a thing. I hate puking so much. I hate puke.

I know. hate more than I hate it more than you I bet I have a fucking phobia I've been to like doctors to try to get over it really yeah I'm real fucked up man yeah you don't like it I don't like it nobody likes puke except that first guy probably yeah I'd be seen some videos that we've yeah all right what about how about this guy what do you feel about him no cap no cap dog it's really my life dog the bitch is great in my potatoes My mom right here talking shit Other home girl on the cuts

Come on, dog I live on the lake dog Million dollar Million dollar nigger Hala at me dog Like I said Get off my dick Hmm

Huh That's a lot right No that's the average skankfest Attendee Just so you know That's who I sell my tickets to That's rich Don't disrespect rich

Well, like, okay, so it's a brag Because he's like, this is a million dollar Lakefront shit And he shows his sister grading carrots Into a bowl Yeah And my mom talking shit And she's like, don't fucking fill me

And then And then he drops the end bomb He's like, what's up? And then He's at it with an A, that's okay Yeah I think if you don't have teeth You're allowed to say the N word

Interesting theory That's the standard, yeah, yeah Oh my God I think you've, because we've always talked about like what white person is allowed to drop end bombs. And I think you're right. If you're missing all your teeth from, you know, meth or heroin or whatever he's doing, yeah. But yeah, this guy, do these people ever try to kill you in your family?

Like, I'm wondering, because you show these people on such a large platform. Am I giving him ideas? Stop it. Stop it. Let's move right along. Here we go. But anyway, he's bragging, right? Like, you tell me, you've met guys like him in jail, right?

Yeah, of course. No, I mean, I grew up in the, like, suburban New York. Not as, like, trashy as that. Where? Like Syracuse? No, not as far out there. Rockland County. I know where that is. You ever played Levity Live in Nyack?

Yeah, West Nyack. It's in the mall. Yeah, yeah. I worked in that mall in high school. Shut the front of her. Yeah, yeah. Bro, and they put you at a hotel. Yeah.

That's all Jews, but what kind of curly Q Jews? Oh, the Hussied. Again. So Muncie, New York is the lower. largest population of Hasidic Jews anywhere in the world that's in Rockland County as well. It's an entire community of Hasidic Jews. Yeah. Yeah, my mom told me when I was driving through Muncie, she was like, be careful because they'll

push their baby strollers in front of your car, so you kill their babies so they can sue you. That was a real lesson my mom taught me. Your mom's Puerto Rican? My mom was white, white trash, much closer to this guy. I'm half Puerto Rican, half white trash. So dad's Puerto Rican, mom's white trash. Yeah, because I was going to say that's like a gypsy thing. Yeah.

gypsies will do that and hungry. They push their babies in front of your car? They won't do it to kill you. They'll throw their baby at you so that you catch the baby and then they'll take your wallet. It's to steal from you. That's smart. It kind of is.

That's very creative. I was like, I wonder if your mom's a gypsy. She's not. Okay, so hold on. I want you to see this. This is a roommate fight. Is this what happened between you and Chad? Stoned out motherfucker.

Stoned out motherfucker. Stoned out. Motherfucker. Wait till I show you this, darling. This is the real Daryl. This is the real Daryl that slams doors. You piece of shit, Daryl. You are a total piece of shit. I'm so sick of you guys. I've done so much for my safe Florida too. Like I said, stay the fuck away from me. Stay the fuck away. That's right. This is, this is common area, buddy. So fuck you. This is common area, buddy. Fuck you. Just go out and fucking get some stone some more today. Whatever, D'rater. You'll get some more stone. Oh, that really bothers potheads.

Oh, they don't like it. Do not, do not. Hey man, pot's cool, dude. Pots cool. Listen, DeRosa came on here and he and I are not pot people. I'm an alcohol type. Yeah, yeah. But boy, where they pissed off and we're like,

you guys are fucking losers. Yeah, you guys, a bunch of pot smokers. It's a motivation, guys. Stop smoking your, I was, I mean, I can't say, I can't claim that I'm not a potter. I haven't smoked since Christmas. I take breaks for like, in my older age, all go like six months to a year without smoking and I get in great shape and I, you know,

get, I'm motivated, I get shit done. I start businesses. And then like I fall off for like five or six months and just get stoned every day. And it's really, it's really not good for, for me anyway, like for my motivation, I feel like I'm just kind of like living underwater. Yeah. Yes. So I think some people have to be a little self-reflective. You can admit that it's probably not the best to get high in the morning when you first get up. No, I think what it is is because it's such a downer and it's such a brain killer and it's not like you at least for me I don't smoke weed and then go out dancing and partying and go to a concert I don't know how many people go to concerts you go dancing even when you're not high I can you can I can I like only goth music though okay I'm fucking retarded did I mention

like like I'm embarrassing but I also don't like the marketing of pot the culture of pot I don't like their fucking stupid posters they're glow in the dark shit black light It's fucking beanbag chair. It's just ugly. It's not a cute aesthetic. Yeah, pot. More punk. Like if punks were like into that, but they're not.

They're into alcohol. But anyway, is this, so fucking Daryl, apparently she's into smoking pot and they're fighting over the communal area. So hold on. Let's see. Oh, here we go. Speaking of pot. Get the hell away from.

It's all you do. Every day is go out and buy drugs and get stone. Let the 9.30 today. Where the fuck were you? Where was I? I was at playing against sports. I was at Poblix. Go talk to everybody.

It's all right. I got your video showing you buying drugs. I got you so fucking. I want to fucking stab you so bad, Girol. I don't do drugs. I went in and made a medical appointment because I needed one. And I made an appointment today. I don't give shit what you do, Deb.

You're a stone. I don't care about. Am I fucking stone? Yes, you are. Fuck you, buddy. Fuck you. I shouldn't even deny it. I went to play it again, Sam.

What is play it against sports? Play it against sports. What if you're talking about? But she can be high and go to play it again. She went to play it against sports. Oh, is it just a store? It's a sporting good store. That doesn't make you a winner because you went to go by sporting goods.

You can be high and still do that. Dumb Broad? Debbie. What sports do pottheads play? They don't play any sports, right? Like hacky sack. Hackysack. They don't sell hacky sacks there.

That's crazy. That's another thing. Potheads, yeah, what do they do? Hacky sack, watching movies. Yeah. Fucking losers, man. Fucking dweeps. Whereas, you know, alcoholics are like athletes.

Oh, yeah. Baseball players. What's his name? Doc Ellis pitched a perfect game. Highest shit on LSD. That's a respectable drug. That is a respectable. That makes you do stuff.

You got to really commit. You got to really commit. If you're doing LSD, or really, I do real drugs, really, like heroin. I do like that. LSD. Heroin's sexy. The problem is the marketing on that sexy. Like, I grew up watching train spotting.

Yeah. All my favorite singers did heroin. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not into it. I could be. Oh, yeah. That would be it.

You would have an endless supply of heroin if you wanted it. Oh, my God. If I find out I'm, like, terminally ill, that's the first thing I'm doing. Really? Yeah What are you doing First thing I'm doing I'm gonna find my old roommate

And fucking Jerk off directly on a scalp Play it again sports Yeah I mean no I mean I guess I would if I was gonna You know I think Metzger has the joke like that Yeah he goes he's like here with these kids like

Like they're suicidal It's like how are you gonna kill yourself Have you not heard of heroin Which is such a great point It's like if you're that far down, just do heroin and maybe you'll die and you'll die. I mean, I'm assuming overdosing on heroin probably feels pretty sick.

Yeah. It's so much heroin that it kills you. It's so great. Yeah. I know. Why? Yeah, you may as well just have a slow drug problem. Yeah.

But then the problem is you're drawing it out. Yeah. I don't know. But it probably feels great. I mean, I've taken a percassette. It felt pretty good. Bro. My last surgery I had, they gave me dilauded.

which is essentially it's heroin yeah it's opioids they gave it they gave it to me intravenously and I was like hell yeah it's the best feeling in the world yeah but I heard you can't ever get back to that first dose feeling oh you're chasing the dragon yeah because then your body just gets acclimated to that shit and then you don't ever get hired you got to just start uh you're gonna start taking drinking cratum every day oh is that yeah that's shit I remember that what happened to that yeah no cratim so I They actually, the main sponsor for Skank Fest is your Kratom. It's a Kratum company. And they're great.

They're really good dudes. They're not like, they're not selling it like recreationally. I'm sure a lot of people do. But it's the reason people use Kratom is to get off of opioids and to get off of heroin. So it's the better alternative to, you know, doing heroin every day. But yeah, people who just recreationally drink Kratum. They have like green teeth. You're like, what the fuck is wrong with you, dude?

What's wrong with you? That's crazy. Yeah. Wow. Skinkfast is so much fun. I don't know because I mean, I do know because Sarah Weinshank and Kim Kongden come in here after doing, like last time they came in, like hot off the plane. Like they had just flown in, glitter fucking still on their faces, like fake fur jackets. Yeah.

I mean, it is Sodom and Gomorrah. It just sounds awesome. It is. It's very different. It's not like when you go to like, just for laughs. You're like you're trying to like schmooze with the industry or like moon. Tower, any of these other. It's one giant venue. There's six stages. In New Orleans, we did four stages because there were bigger rooms. But we have fights, like we have fans fighting,

comedians fighting each other. Uncle Laser fought Jason Ellis and fucking, it was, it was wild. Ellis is pretty strong. Alice is a monster. Yeah. He's really terrifying. And we have a naked roast. Ellis also judges the naked roast. He's got a fucking, dude, Ellis's cock. Bring it up, please. Dude, bring up Jason Ellis's cock. Let me just make sure we can see this. It is a just. It's just a monster between his legs. Really? Like soft.

Like his cock is... Oh my lot. His cock soft is literally twice, no, five times as big as my soft cock. Wow. So hold on. All the comics that roast. Okay, thank you. I got it.

I know this guy. I got it. Okay, dokey. I'm still a mom, guys, in my heart. You asked for it. I know. But then I remember that I, you know. I have enough dicks in my life.

I don't need to see it. And I like Jason Ellis. He's great. And I'm sure he doesn't mind everyone saying he's got a huge cock. Yeah, he's the best. He's really tough and he's a huge cock. Oh, for life. Poor him.

Jason is. So wait, what was I? Okay, so the comics have to go nude. Yeah, it's a roast battle. But all the guys and girls are roasting each other naked. All the judges are naked. Stop it. Yeah, yeah.

So who's going to sign up? I would be mortified. So many people sign up. It's crazy. It's insane. What the fuck, dude? So one of the things we do is there's no cameras, right? Yeah.

And we don't even yonder bag. We don't do that. We literally, the fans are so fucking, they really get it, dude. They're so respectful. They look like a bunch of, like, bikers and heavy metal fans. But they're hardcore comedy nerds. Whereas, like, if somebody heckles, like, everyone's like, yo, like, there's none of that. There's, nobody pulls out their phones to take video or take pictures.

We had Louis C.K. When he came back to comedy, he had taken off. He'd done some shows in Europe, but he hadn't performed to the United States. he came to the one in Brooklyn and was a special surprise guest. Standing ovation, not a single camera phone taken out. I took the video of him going on stage

being announced that, so we got leaked to TMZ, but not a single person. They just knew. Like, this is for us. This isn't for, we did a tough grad reunion with Colin Quinn back in the day

at Skamp Fest. Not a single camera. People just, like, our audience is very educated. They know, like, it's also like, it was very special to be there. It was like a secret show just for them.

So it's like, you had to be there. If you weren't there, that was that. So it was, yeah, yeah, it's pretty special. And it's just like, it's just chaotic. So there's obviously great comedy and podcasts, but it's all the extra things this year. We had a Ferris wheel right on the water and a Gravitron.

And there's just, you know, people are doing fucking acid and Molly and ketamine and like we have a weed tent. And there's like it's really, it's debauchous, but it's also like, you know, controlled chaos where there's no fights. There's been like a couple scuffles now at this point it's gotten so big. But we pride ourselves for years that we never had. had a single fight or nobody had to be kicked out. So it's not like the juggalo's where people are. No, no, no, no, which I performed at the gathering of the jugglers this past year.

Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah. We love these guys. ICP's been on the show a few times. They're fantastic, but I've seen like fights breaking out and it can be whatever, but I don't know. Yeah, Violent Jay, uh, he's been on the podcast. We had, in last year for our last one in Vegas

in St. Clampassey was a special musical guest. Oh, cool. They're so cool. They're so cool. So, yeah, we did do is on the kickoff party on Thursday night. There's always a surprise music guest And yeah we do some live podcasts And it's really as a festival of love

It's like there's a lot of like craziness And it seems like It's intimidating I think for people But then people go You don't have to be like a Legion of Skanks fan Because we have I mean the lineup is crazy Shane Gillis and Tyndellan and Tony Hinchcliffe And Mark Norman I mean you could just go

There's almost 200 comedians that perform And it's the best of the best That's why you gotta come this year So Skank Fest is going to be in New Orleans New Orleans, November 13th through 15th. And when did tickets go on sale for this? The pre-sale, which is before we announce any, yeah, before we announce any comics, the presale is February 16th. Okay. Um, 2 p.m. and, uh, 2 p.m. Eastern, I should say. So, yeah, that's before we know. And then you get, uh, the VIP tickets will get you access to the

Thursday night kickoff party as well. It's the only way to get it. And then, uh, the general sale is April 20th, um, 2 p.m. Eastern. And that'll be for everybody. That's when we announced the lineup. And it's, it's the 10th anniversary. So it's going to be the best movie over daughter. Oh, that's going to be a banger then. You've got to go hard. And New Orleans was so fun. New Orleans is such a debauchery.

The problem is Vegas ruined us because we did it in New York for three years, then Houston. Then we went to Vegas for three years. And Vegas doesn't stop. You could just, you leave Skangfest. The last show ends at like one in the morning and you go out and it's just getting started in downtown Vegas. So people would just like stay up for five days. It's just, so New Orleans has that similar vibe.

There's the 24-hour bars. We do, we have the after parties at Larry Flint's. barely legal club yeah I knew you'd really like that so you know no you're gonna come to the barely legal experience I'm barely legal yeah

that's so rad yeah it's really fun you know and that is nice and I've always found too that people that are how do I say this openly freaky or whatever

are the coolest and it's the ones that pretend to be normal that I distrust the most. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, if I walk into your house and you've got kids, but your furniture is all white and then it doesn't look like kids live there, I'm like, you're fucking serial killer. I have all white furniture, but it's not my, my ex-girlfriend picked out the couch

in the rug or helped me. So it's like, she had this, like, you know, hot girl, like, rich aesthetic she wanted to, like, have. So, and then we broke up right, but I was buying a house for the first time. And we broke up right before we moved in. because it just, I could tell that she was just not like, when you're trying to buy a house with somebody that you're not married to, everything becomes apparent, like what's important.

And it's like, I was like, I can't, I can't like bring her into this home and make this half her home when it's not really. So we ended up. And now I have like this massive white couch and white carpet. My whole living room is like bright white. But you don't have small kids is what I'm saying. Yeah, I have a 13 year old. But he jerks off a lot.

He's in his room alone. And you don't come as white. Yeah. Most importantly. Yeah. Wow, you broke up. How long were you guys together for? On and off for three years.

Dang, homie. Have you ever been married? No. Wow. Are you thinking? Like, do you think you could? I think if I, I really like being a dad, right? I love being a dad.

It's the thing that I do best, right? Like, you know, it's the one thing that I try to do really well and I try not to fuck up with, right? Yeah. And I feel like I kind of miss the experience because of me. my son's mother broke up when he was two. We still co-parent great. Like we go on vacations together. We go to dinner together.

You do? That's very hard. So I just put it on my distance glasses. Yeah, yeah. We, I gotta get my prescription fixed. Go ahead. Yeah,

no, no, we, co-parent, you guys gone. Things. Yeah, and we, you know, we do it, we really co-parent well. We're very different people, so we would have never worked. But I kind of wish I didn't,

like, not give my son the full experience. You know, he had a broken home and, you know, even though it worked out really well and he's spoiled and he's got everything he wants and he's really I mean incredible kids straight a student good looking tall uh just sweet kind like really really thoughtful and mature um you know athletic he's he's in musical theater he acts he's gay obviously so uh he's got a girlfriend he's got multiple girlfriends this kid's like a little pimp um but he's

really like great but i didn't give him the experience I would have loved to give him a little sister a little brother and so I think about it now like you know if I'm dating a chick and I'm dating a girl now It's like, I would do it again. I'd have more kids, get married, do it the right way. Why not? Yeah. You know, what else are you going to do? I'm 50 almost in June and I'm like, what the fuck else am I going to do?

I've done everything else. How many fucking brunches are you going to go to? How many party? No, you know what I mean? Of course I get it. Really. Really. It's like your life becomes masturbatory at a certain point if your existence is just for you.

I think it's very depressing. Well, it's all. People who don't have kids, like, go like like where's the motivation to like yeah what do you doing like like for me now it's like it's actually pretty easy i'm i'm 43 i'm turning 44 in april and i'm going like i'm like looking at like death in the next 30 40 years right that's like happening and i'm going like it's not like depressing because i'm like oh i'm going to leave my son and my niece some incredible things um not only like you know just like money and things like that but also like just like my legacy

will live on through like my kid who's going to probably change the world he's like the best person have ever met. So, yeah. Well, and you created Skank Fest, which I think, no, like, in all seriousness, I'm sure there's people that are like, thank God for this. This is the thing I look forward to every year. It's their vacation. Like our fan base, you know, I'd say 90% of them come from out of town. And it's their vacation. It's they save up all year. They buy the tickets. They book the hotels. And it's different. You're not just watching comedy shows. You're like partying. Like, it's not, like, everyone. So the concept came from. I was doing these heavy metal cruises.

I was performing with a comedy acts on like, it was called Chip Rock. You did what? Oh, I didn't even know there were heavy metal cruises. Let me know if you know of a goth one. I'll do that. I'm sure there's definitely a goth cruise,

unquestion. Is Bell House doing a cruise? It would be like the cure. I would love that. I just saw Nine In Inge Nails Live in New York. How are they? They're incredible. Tram Razor is incredible.

Tramersers is incredible. Did you watch Soul? Soul, the cartoon? Cartoon? Yeah, he did the music on Soul. That's why it's good. It's so moody and like fun. Look, the Gothic crews, you got to do this.

Oh, hold on, bro. 2026 info coming soon. Okay, bookmark this. I'm being serious. Dude, I would do this. I'll perform on it. Yeah, yeah. You want to do it?

That's 100% dude, let's see the Goth Crees again. I was, I worked in Hot Topic in high school. I was a goth. I was unique. But I wore eyeliner, I had long hair, purple highlights. Yeah, yeah. Come on, I smell my type. People think I'm like a Joe Rogan bro

And I'm like, no, no, no, those guys made fun of me in high school I was like a fucking weirdo I was in a band, I played drums Oh cool, I play drums now very poorly I just started doing it a couple years ago Oh, this is so cool Original Gothic Cruise founded in 1989 Wow

What bro? That's great Where does it start? Tell me where and when I mean, just let's go This is a great promo for the goth crews I mean, I love this Yeah, this is all right

people pay to advertise on the show goth crews book us here's the one fatal flaw okay and i know this because i was gothic when i went on my first cruise is that goths don't want to be out in the sunshine so you got to make it nocturnal we're like everything happens at night and then during the day we all get inside instead of cabins everyone has got coffins yes deep southern caribbean from san juan hey that's your tribe Alaska okay okay all right goth cruz but we would do these got these um like these heavy metal cruises.

And I was, this is really where the concept from Skankfest came, right? We were doing these cruises. And I would see like at the food hall, like, or the restaurants, like the rock stars were just like hanging out and talking to the fans. And you'd be on the deck of the boat and the hot tub. And it's like, oh, that's the lead singer of fucking limp biscuit or, you know, whoever else it is. And you couldn't escape everyone.

There's no escaping, right? I did the Interpractical Joker's cruises. There's some comedy ones as well. But it was like, I was like, oh, this is. like this is the way like what an experience like you're you're not only just watching these people perform but you're eating lunch with them you're interacting with them you're partying with them you're you're it's a different experience so we took that to the land so that's why it has to be one venue we never did like multiple venues like it has to be one venue it has to be a party it has to be

everybody amongst each other so it's not it's it looks big because like but it's only about 3,200 people a day it's not like this massive massive amount of people um but you're really getting to like the experience of like hanging out with the legion of skanks or bobby kelly or or shane gillis or tony hinchcliff you don't really get that anywhere else right and we're all one it feels like a very like um so when the the comics come you know these guys they're all like what's weird as we started this 10 years ago we were all just broke asses and just trying to figure out life right now everyone's gotten like rich and famous and they're touring and making a million dollars on the road and fucking so they nobody has to do it like Shane gillis does not even

Tony Hintz doesn't have to do Skankfuss. The reason these guys come back, it's because it's a very unique experience. And comics, we can just, our foundation was built on self-deprecation, being broke, not having anything, making fun of that. So you really never escape that thing, right?

You spend, you know, a decade minimum being fucking broke. So poor. Minimum. Like, you know, and then the next decade, you kind of figure it out. And I think we, because that's built into our foundation,

like, we kind of, we never move away. from them. I'm sure, you know, don't get me wrong, like you do to a certain degree, but you always kind of remember that. And I think that's why we get so many people that are still coming back year after year. I still have nightmares that I'm broke and that I never made it in comedy. And I'm living in downtown L.A. again. And I have to sell my feet picks. And also, too, I think it's because you guys create. It sounds like an environment where comics aren't afraid to walk around and be with people. You know, and comics for the most part, I think,

are pretty down to earth folks because we deal with the public. You, you know, your bread and butter is entertaining drunks. Yeah. So, you know, fuck. Okay, let's do some TikToks. Please. Can I have you for another 10 minutes? You can have me for whatever you want.

Hey. Yeah, you know what I like about you too? What's that? You're a go-getter. Yeah. You're a real hustler. I really am. Yeah, what is this?

Who's this? Is this your Puerto Rican dad? I've been, no. My dad was stabbed to death when I was four years old. What? Yeah, yeah. I grew up without a father. Wow.

God, my eyelid just twitched out of the, no, no, it's okay. God damn. But you, but what? You got such a... And I mean this, I got the best kid in the world, that sperm had to meet that egg. I wouldn't change a minute before I busted that nut. Of course.

Everything had to happen right up until that moment. So there's, you know, I've, believe me, more than made my peace with everything that I had a pretty hard childhood. But I was always, like, I was just broke as a kid. We were on welfare in Section 8. And I just, I was the kid who was shoveling people's driveways, lemonade stand, iced tea stand. You know, I got my first job when I was 11. I've worked literally. never not had a job since I was 11 and I'm not likable. So the industry never like in comedy,

the industry never like latches on to me. I know what you're saying. Like I'm pretty comfortable. Like podcasting, I'm very comfortable. Like this is like, when there's a microphone right here, I'm talking to somebody. I'm sort of in my sort of flow state. But if I have to go to like a meeting and I did all that. I did Montreal just for laughs and I did, you know, new faces and I did all the, the meetings in LA and, you know, trying to pitch a TV show. And I was so uncomfortable in that moment. And I, you know, I never, so I had to start everything myself. I started at the comedy festival. I have a tour management company that books myself and some of my closest friends, some really big comics. I have a podcast network, gas digital, gas digital. Yes, yes, massive.

I just started a coffee brand brand. I mean, it's good for you. Yeah, yeah. God damn it. Chatt a body brain coffee. Go get a, if you want to naturally support your testosterone, bodybrink coffee.com. It's a mushroom coffee that also has Tonka-a-Lay. Listen, that's the only way to do it. Do it your fucking self. That's it. You know, when they didn't give job. You know, when they didn't give Rogan the best podcast of the of the century Grammy was that it the Grammy Golden Globe the golden globe I was like are you fucking kidding me this is so stupid and he's like well yeah they wanted was it five hundred dollars to submit myself like what a what a fucking circle jerk is this industry of like give me five hundred dollars and you can put your name in the hat

for a fixed bullshit thing anyway you know whatever whatever whatever Yeah, no, Rogan's the man. Of course he's the man. We're all the man. Stick it to the man. Okay, listen, are you ready for TikTok? Please. So I don't know if you know this.

I like to curate the marginalized community of TikTok. These are not your dance videos. These aren't people with symmetrical faces or hot chicks. My algorithm's so fucked. I don't even see that. I don't even get it. Are you ready? Let's see.

Like, I don't. that's it but what but what sexual thing does that lead to is that a sexual thing it's all things lead to dicks bit all things lead to dicks i mean i don't even know what's taken for this i thought it was going to like stab something into the hole i was waiting for that too it's a little anticlimactic but maybe we'll i'll keep my eye on this guy okay next oh come on dude come on so rough so it's a it's a dude shaving with a straight razor and then he licks the hair. Do you think he swallows it or he just, after the camera

goes off, just spits it out. Let's see. Let me look. Let's try it again. Here we go. Oh, dude, you nasty's up. Now he didn't swallow. Wait. He's just keeping it in his tongue. You're right. You got that. That was like a horrors trick.

Yeah. You don't swallow. You fucking saw that right there, huh? Yeah. Yeah, you were like, bitch, you don't swallow? I don't like this. I don't like that either. I don't like him at all. But that's the whole fun of your mom's house is you're supposed to feel like you don't like that. Like it's feel sick. You have to feel.

Well, I always say that it's like you kind of get the best out of people when they're uncomfortable. Is that what it is? Yeah. The best? Yeah, no, yeah. I think when you're on your heels and that's when you, look, when there's adversity in life, you kind of see what you're made of, right?

So this is tough to watch. Yeah, yeah. That's the fun of it. Okay, well, how about this one here? That was a little fucked up. I don't want it to go to waste. My Georgia made me buy cheese. But we go through lots, but if anybody wants some,

please come bring a container. Did you get the logic? She got a lot of cheese. Yeah. It's a can of nacho cheese. And if you want some, you can have some, but you have to bring your own container. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Would you go at your poorest, would you show up with this lady's house and take her cheese? Yeah, why not? That actually looks pretty. As I'm looking at it, It doesn't even look that bad. You throw that in a microwave?

Yeah. That's not going to be terrible. My concern, because I'm a little vomit-phobic, is like, how long has she had the cheese? How long has it been open? Well, is that movie theater cheese? It's a Cineplex-screen snack. So she'd buy that from a movie theater?

Buy. Steel? What does she do? She stole. So is that what they do to, like, is it like essentially like a large amount of cheese and they put it in, like, cups at the movie theater? Yes, that's disgusting.

That's wild. Yeah, she essentially, I'm thinking, stole, you can buy this nasty shit on Amazon. 50 bucks. 50 bucks for that big ass tub of cheese? It's not bad, dude. This is a new business idea that I'm having right now. What are you thinking? I can start selling small portions of this cheese at Skankfest.

Five dollars, scant cheese? Out of a jizz cup? Yeah. That's a great idea. It's not a bad idea. You should be selling, yo, like, no, bro. Even better. You'll buy the chips.

You know how they do in like comedy clubs everywhere? How they fucking sell you the chips in the paper thing. And you just put a little jizz of nacho cheese. Little jizz and that's it. Yeah. Just a fucking jizz of it. Where you give out the chips for free and then you sell the little buckets of cheese for like $25 each. That's what's up.

Holy thing. Dude. Shit is so good. It does taste good. But if you've ever worked at a restaurant, have you ever worked in a restaurant? Once I worked at a Mexican restaurant Yeah I was a bus boy It was one of my first jobs

Or when I went at first It was like 14 I guess And yeah there was a The Mexicans they were so fast They were so fast I'm like a goofy-footed fucking goth kid And fucking trying to like keep up with these Mexicans And then they started busing my tables

And I got mad I was like guys Like stop busing my tables You're making me look bad And the one guy he spoke Spanish I didn't speak Spanish So he's like arguing with me in Spanish I'm like, I don't what the fuck you're talking about. I did this to him.

I put my finger up. And it was a little Mexican. He was like five feet tall. He grabbed my finger and he bent it back and he tried to break it. It like sprained it. I'm a child. What are you doing? It was crazy.

That's crazy. So I'm on Issa's side. Yeah. Just so you know, I think ICE is doing a bang up job out there. You don't fuck with no Mexican bus wipe. But also if you've worked in the food industry, like you see how nasty shit comes. Like everything comes in like big tubs like this. metal tubs, plastic bags that you cut open with scissors.

And it's all foul. So like whenever I'm at a restaurant and they're like, do you want this to go? I'm like, no, dude. Like, I don't know how fucking old this shit was by the time you put it on my plate. I worked in fast food too when I was sick. I went to KFC and Taco Bell. Taco Bell was like just, KFC was great. Yeah.

KFC. I had such a like great time working at KFC. I got all my friends jobs there as well. We all just would like, would just, it was so fun. It was like a fun job. And I remember one time, this would be, this is a perfect story for your mom's house. I was, like it was the dinner rush.

And we were really good. Like me and my buddy Dave Green would be on the drive-thru. And we made it a game. Like when people would be, they'd order their food. They'd like, yeah, I need a two-piece, you know, dark meat with mashed potatoes, cold salt, biscuit. And as they're saying it, I'm like packing it in the bags, right? Like, I'm just doing everything, 16 piece, blah, blah, blah.

So as soon as they drive up to the window, we'd have it hanging out the window. Damn. Every time. It was like we were like so fast and it was like a game that we would play. So we created like a system where our fucking drive-thru was like, it's just the best. And I remember one time for whatever reason, I'm just 16 hormones going crazy. I decided I wanted to jerk off at work.

I just need to like just need to get it out. So I went into the bathroom and I jerked off and I was just whatever. I was in there for a while. I was just really pleasuring myself, taking my time. Taking pleasure in yourself. Yeah, yeah. And it was like during a dinner rush. And I was just gone.

I was gone for maybe 15 minutes. And then when I opened the door, my manager on the shift, as he was having this big jacked goofy guy who was like a former military guy, he just literally, I opened the door and he punched me in the face. And what's funny is he thought I was shitting. It's not like he knew I was jerking off. He just thought I took a shit during the dinner rush. But he physically assaulted me.

Damn. Yeah, yeah. You're not allowed to do that. You're not allowed to do that. I was just a kid. I was just a boy. You're just a kid. Yeah.

Okay, but most importantly. It's the 90s. The 90s, you can really, you could hit kids. You could. It was like if you were a girl that grew up in the 90s, you were raped. I mean, I'm surprised I wasn't, yeah, when I think about all the crazy stuff. I mean, by today's standards, you had a couple of races, but not by our standards. You have a different standard.

I've seen multiple men masturbate in public. See, a lot of people will say that. A lot of people will say that some sort of sexual assault today. Totally. These TikTok girls, they don't know how good they have it. They're posseys. Tell me most importantly, the biscuits at KFC. How are they that good?

Did they actually bake them? Like they come as dough and they're baked? They come as like frozen dough. And then you would slather them with butter. Aha. Makes everything better. Lots of butter. And yeah, so the Popeyes were made with old chicken.

The Popeyes, like the chicken at the end of the night. They'd put it into like, and also at the time, I don't know if they have it anymore, but they had like barbecue chicken sandwiches. The old chicken would be put into a bucket. They put that in the fridge. And then at the end of the week, they would have the cooks, you know,

debone everything, throw it into the Popeyes, throw it into the, so that was the stuff that I never, it was never really fresh. But, you know, the fried chicken was fresh. It was just fried that day. That's what I'm saying with restaurants, you guys, that's the kind of shit they do to you. Like, oh, the special of the day is fucking chicken chili.

And you're like, yeah, because it's made from all the leftover bits. Yep. don't fall for that all right let's do one more tic-tok and then please oh this one makes me want to i think this is her oh no no what are you doing smashing her passing i've i've had sex with old ladies really i i i just wanted to pleasure them yeah you want to feel sexy sure sure sure you know like uh american psycho you know where he's like fucking just like jacked in the mirror

It's like I don't get the, I'm not a fat ogre. So I don't get that when I'm having sex with a beautiful woman. But if I bang an old lady, it's like, it's just such a great story for her. So it's happened a couple times. Wow. I was at Cabo at the Cabo Comedy Festival. And it was, this one had to be 68 years old. Wow.

This is like, you know, at least this is before I had a kid. Yeah, this is like 13 years ago, something like that. And, yeah, dude, it was, it was pretty cool. So many questions, though. So. Was it hard for you to maintain? No, it turned me on that I was turning her on. Okay.

Well, that makes more sense. Yeah. I feel sick again. See, you feel sick from the clips and I feel sick from your stories. Yeah, my stories are sickening. It's kind of cool. You and I are a really cool pair. That makes sense.

Oh, this chick, I love her. She puts fake ads, cranberry spice latte. Bowl to spreads up here with an entire can of cranberries. I love this chick. She sabotages. I like comedy for like for yourself almost. It's kind of like just like a, I mean, I guess it's for social media now at this point, but like I feel like she would be doing this even if she didn't have a TikTok.

Well, especially because so many people are just not very observant of little things like that throughout the day. I can't tell you how many people I've called mommy in drive-thrues, restaurants to people's only once in 15 years has a person gone, mommy. What the fuck does that mean? Yeah. You're just like, hey mommy, hey mommy. Like a Latina. Yeah.

Yeah, like that, right? Like, yeah, mommy. What's up, Boppy? Yeah. Yeah, but I'm not cool enough to do it the way. You just did it. When I was in high school, we would do this. This is a fun little prank we would do.

This is before social media. There was no cameras. We just did this for just our own entertainment. I would take like a chocolate bar, right? And I would go into like the Burger King bathroom. King bathroom and I would put while it was still like in the wrapping I would put it under hot water to melt it. Oh brilliant. And then I would take it and I would smear it all over the toilet seat and on the walls. You draw swastikas on the door like everywhere and then you just sit out outside and you watch each employee go in and then did we watch somebody quit their job? The manager was like you have to clean it. It was like you'll fuck this and they threw their shit down and they walked out. It was it's brilliant. That's magical. You got to do that one again.

Yeah. No, this is a good life hack as well. If you take actual shit and put it on your telephone in your hotel room, they'll give you a free room. No. Yeah. We've learned so many tricks from you today. A little bit of poop. Like there's shit on my phone.

This is insane. And like a little bit of your own poopoo. Yeah. So hold on. But the real. You'll at least 10,000 Hilton honors points. At least. At least.

The question is, are you touching the poohu with your hand and then smearing it on? Yeah, it's your poop. I mean, you can at least use a spoon. A spoon. Or like a stick. A spoon is crazy. Spooning poop onto a phone. You should float to do the phone.

You could do it really anywhere in the hotel room. I'd be like, there's a smear of shit, bro. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Yeah. Especially at the height of COVID. Remember when they were sterilizing and sanitizing your remote control? They put it in a cardboard box. It was like sterilized for your pleasure.

I can't right, man. That fucking's not going to stop. Another, oh, another great hotel house. We stay in a lot of hotels. If there's anybody being noisy, like down the hole, which happens all the time. Yeah. You know. You know.

And you can just call their room and pretend you're the front desk. They'll never have any idea. Bro, you just blew my mind. Yeah. You just call the room. Be like, yeah, you're being extremely noisy guys. We're getting lots of complaints. We don't want to have to remove you from the hotel.

Then silence. I should have fucking done that 20 years ago. Damn, dude. You got all hot tips. You got to write a book. Hot tips. I did just write a book. You did? Yeah, a memoir of my childhood. Knives and Spillins. Pre-order on Amazon. I mean, is there anything you haven't done, Lewis J. Gomez? You're just a hustler.

Books. Coffee. Bobby Kelly said this to me years ago. He's like, dude, you're a real hustler. I was like, thanks. It's not a compliment. It means you stink. Oh, I don't mean that at all. No, you're fantastic. And everybody, buy your tickets now. I would say pre-order them for New Orleans. November 13th through 15th for Skank Fest, 2026. It sounds like it's going to be fucking insane. It's going to be great. Christina, we're going to send you an offer. I want to come.

Do you already have dates booked that weekend? No, I ain't doing shit, bro. That's like Thanksgiving. I'm shutting it down. All right, bro. You better, if you're not Skang, I'm going to be very upset because you would love it. I know, I feel like it would.

You really would. You really would. Also, Legion of Skanks, that's your pod. Yeah, I do four podcasts. Legion of Skanks, Story Wars. Me and Big J. I started a game show podcast, which is a lot of fun. And then The Rags with Bobby Kelly, Dan,

Soder, and Joe List, and Real-Ass Podcasts with The Great Zach Mika. Well, you're a high achiever. You're a very funny man. Thank you. You're also a very decent human being. I sense this from you. You're a good human.

I try. And I would love for you to come back when Tommy is here so we can all laugh together. We had Tom on Real-Ass Podcasts back in the day. He was like, what the fuck? We made him uncomfortable. It was Tom and Tim Dillon. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we have some crazy segments on that show.

I want to come on. You guys ramp it up for me. I love it. Open invite literally for anything in my world, there's an open invite for you same bro i love you i love you homie i love you too girl that's it for your mom's house you guys check out louis j gomez and i love you bye meow