Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - The Fart Mic Returns w/ Ron White | Your Mom's House Ep. 823

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

Be sure to visit https://Store.YMHStudios.com for up to 65% off our merch! SPONSORS: Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool http://www.monarchmoney.com/ymh Go to https://helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide. Get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code YMH at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com This week on Your Mom's House, Tom’s still off making a movie so Christina P calls in comedy legend and professional cigar philosopher Ron White to fill the daddy seat. The two dive right in—covering Ron’s brand-new “49-year-old bombshell” girlfriend, the celestial math that makes their relationship perfect, and why fake boobs just aren’t his thing. Ron spills the story of his ill-fated Paris river cruise, complete with pot smoke, a furious German-sounding captain, and a dramatic escape to a Paris hotel equipped with a literal sex swing.Christina shocks Ron by resurrecting a banned piece of YMH history—the beloved fart mic—and offers it up for live use. They trade stories about prenups gone wrong, vomiting for the sake of Cracker Barrel breakfast, fat roll storage hacks, and just how much sex is “too much” when you’re pushing 70. Plus, Ron shares why he thinks he’s better at stand-up now than ever, how to truly slow down on stage, and the strange gift of being an endearing pervert. From fart sandwiches to Swarovski crystal chairs, and from emotional talks about aging parents to the logistics of anal, this is still a YMH at its purest: filthy, funny, and a little too honest. Your Mom’s House Ep. 823 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:17 - Opening Clip: Fart Sandwich 00:08:04 - The Return Of The Fart Mic 00:13:45 - Ron White's Cruise From Hell 00:24:03 - Paris Sex Swings 00:31:54 - Clip: Dumb Brazilian Tourist 00:33:05 - Common Law Marriage 00:41:43 - Clip: Exploding Mom 00:42:56 - Clip: Fat Tourist Breaks Chair 00:44:26 - Clip: Fatso Mechanic 00:46:12 - Clip: Cool Karate 00:48:24 - Clip: Energy Sex 00:51:37 - Cracker Barrel Ambassador 00:57:20 - Sons & Fathers 01:01:56 - Ron's Comedic Words Of Wisdom 01:08:16 - Wrap Up 01:12:12 - Closing Song - "Delta White Mousepad" by Kosher Charro, Remix by John Douglass Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's everybody? Just kidding. That's so dumb. That's what my stupid husband would say. But guess what? He's not here. I am. And you know what I'm going to do? He doesn't even realize. We are having a huge YMH merch store sale. Okay? We're coming out of the closet. Pull your jeans up as high and tight as they can possibly be. This will be your last chance ever to get the designs like the cool mom hats. Hello, that's my favorite. Park Closer, which was such a good time on YMH. Fed Smoker, Hate from YMH shirt, and all the other designs. Guys, they're not coming back.

This is it. Last Call. So go to store.com right now, right now, right now. All right, are we ready, Mommies? We're ready. Okay. You called that dude Mommy? I've called them all Mommies.

You do? They're my Mommies, yeah. Oh, how sweet. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. What's everybody? Just kidding. I don't say that. That's stupid, Tom. And he's not here. He's out filming a movie. I am Christine and co-hosting today with me. I'm so pumped to have Mr. Ron White, everybody. Clap for Ron White. The greatest. Thank you for the clapping. I love you. Oh, I love you too.

Who pushed the microphone closer to your beautiful face. All right, here we go. How have you been? What's new? What's your summer? It just got back from vacation, went on a great vacation with my girlfriend. Who's this girlfriend? We started seeing each other about six or seven months ago, and she's perfect for me, because I'll be 69 years old in December,

and she'll be 70 and 23 years. Okay, I just did it, that's perfect. Yeah, right. So right there, you know, we're right there, sort of. And then beautiful, smart girl, just a head of HR for some private equity group. She's smart. Bombshell.

Nice. Bomb shell. What kind of broads do you like? Bombshell. Bombshell. Like, what are you? you into boobs, butts. What are you? Well, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's quite a mix there, you know, a face, you know, uh, I like a woman with a beautiful face. Yes. Um, I'm not into a big, uh, fake tits. And, uh, and, uh, but, uh, you know, she, and she, and she's probably the prettiest one. ever that I've ever been with.

Really? I've been with some cutie pies. You sure have. But my last girlfriend was older than me. She was 70, and so she ended up moving back to California. And the other ones have been pretty close to my age. She's the youngest one, and she's 49, I guess, is the way it works out. That's my age.

I know, perfect. That's what I was thinking about. Oh, my God. It's so perfect. All right. Maybe don't tell anybody when Tom dies. Yeah, I know. What do you think?

I think it's a match made in some sort of celestial space. I'm not calling it heaven, but it's celestial. It is, it is, my friend. You know, when I had cancer, my husband brutally brought in my replacement and called her new Christine, which I thought was rather rude, and this could be new Tom. Who could? Right here. Right here.

Right here. who was the new christie she sucks it's like some pig look at her she's all brains no brawn oh i know her don't i yeah something like that something like that would bleh gross all fit and young and pretty well whatever listen i've prepared such a special show for you i'm just thrilled that you're here uh why don't we start with the opening clip okay This one is just for you. Your lunch is ready. That was an elephant yawning.

Wasn't it? That wasn't even a fart. Don't bring anyone mother to this. Your mom in the front of there. Oh, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Welcome to your mom's house

Bomb Shell You like it? New Tom You can't wait You can't wait for Tom I'll take care of you Ron White when the time comes I'll wipe your ass when the time comes

I'll wipe your ass when the time comes hold on I got one more Christina it's lovely to see you and welcome everybody to your mom's house it's coffee time Christina can you believe it's your first podcast without Tom I know let's put the kettle on and celebrate with a strong black

coffee best drink of the day there you go katherine can thank you so much for the shout out this is my friend in england katherine can yeah big old natties huge natties speaking of natties she better get those looked at now what do you think of the fart sandwich would you still eat that sandwich you know i got to tell you if she had shit on that sandwich I would have taken a bite off the other end of it. That's what I'm talking about. But, you know, probably not that one end, but, you know, the one with the shit on it, I would eat that.

The regular sandwich I don't care for, that's an egg salad or I don't know what. Well, let's see, I was going to look at that because I'm curious what kind of sandwich. That's probably 75 million views on TikTok, right? And here you are, honing an act. I'm trying too hard. Way too hard.

That looks like I'm going to guess a pork rind sandwich. You think those are pork rinds or eggs? Oh, I think they're pork rinds. It could be eggs, spicy deviled eggs. Why would you eat a pork rind sandwich? I don't know. Maybe it's like a fart fetish thing. Maybe it makes you fart.

Well, the thing is that there's no carbs and pork rinds, and that's the only reason people eat them at all, I think, There's low carbs, but there's carbs in that bread. Oh. And now the whole thing's starting to not make that much sense. I got you, babe. Oh, listen, I have some official YMH business to get into before we proceed. Okay.

Now, many years ago, Tom banned something that I loved on this show. And it really broke my heart, Ron. And so many of the listeners, the devotes, the devoting, fans, the mommies, loved this thing. And then Tom cruelly took it away, ripped it from us, from our world, from the fabric of our lives. And now I am here. I am back. I am restoring YMH to its former glory, to its greatness, if you will. And I have a massive announcement. That's right. Chips in a bowl. And that's what Tom ripped away from the,

Oh, you'll see. This is just me getting to the announcement. It's a cat-eating kibble. That's such a good sound, right? What is it? It's a cat-eating kibble. Do you have a cat? No.

You've got a good cat. It's the sweetest sound in the world. Cat-eating kibble. That sounds like an elephant yawning. What is it with the show? It's stupid. It's just fun. Here it is.

Are you ready? Hold on. This is what was ripped away, and I will restore to its former glory, greatness. Everybody, behold, the fart mic. You can clap. Go ahead. The fart mic. It's back.

You're welcome, world. You're welcome. So it was a thing at one time, and how does it smell? So it was a staple on the show. Yeah, so what happened was. And then Segura, who I've never loved. No. Boo.

Yeah. He just ripped it right out of your life. He took it away, and this was something that was so beloved, you know? It was. That was the pole holding up the tent, and Tom yanked it? Cruelly. Wow. Because we would record the show after lunchtime back in California, and we would often have Mediterranean food, hummus, falafels, of that nature, and then we'd be so gassy.

And I said, gosh, I wish there was a microphone that could pick up these farts. And we did it. And then Tom got disgusted for some reason. What a prude. Not like you. You would eat the sandwich that I'd take a shit on.

Yes. Yeah, I would. I would. Eat part of it. Thank you. Whatever the good part is. I would eat that. Yeah.

Okay. So just if you have to fart at any point during the show, you let me know and I'll hand you the fart. I'm not going to do it. Ron. I'm not going to do it. I'm just going to back.

my ass up to this mic and fart right in it and that's my man that's why they you know what these are changeable that's a filter right so you can change that filter if it gets clogged up with whatever spray yeah because I'm going to drop trial when I do it too it's not going to be coming through these jeans it's going to be fresh oh like Matthew McConaughey's tuna salad fresh. Have you ever tried to list every financial account you have? Like all of them, old 401Ks, investment apps, property, half the time I forget what I even signed up for. And that's the scary part. If you're not paying attention, you can be leaving serious money on the table without even knowing it. That's why I started using monarch money. It's fantastic. It's a one-stop shop. It's so easy to use.

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helix sleep.com slash ymh for 20% off site wide helix sleep.com slash ymage do you do you beef in of your girlfriends what's your policy it's if we're in bed at night and I'm tired yeah I'll try to get away with it she's not big on it so I try to you know I try to I've always been kind of a don't fart in front of women thing yeah but you know if you're exhausted you're like uh she's not she's asleep and then you know oh rah okay yeah yeah it's pretty nasty I'm an old man Well, you're a man's man. Yeah. Oh, am I?

Yeah, you just rip farts, do whatever you have. Burp. I don't care. So can I tell you about our vacation? I would love to hear about your vacation. Okay, it was a surprise, number one. She didn't know where we were going. I was going to go up to this mountain house in Colorado,

a friend of mine owns, and a guy had a fucking stroke in Africa. And he's still, to this day, like a month later in Cape Town. Not good. I'm good Africa. And so I'm like, I'm not going to call there, you know, he's done and he hadn't spoken in days. And I'm like, tell him to blink twice if the code is, you know, that seems so insensitive. And I really do care about the guy. I joke about it.

And so we couldn't go there. So I had the last. And she took time off work. So she's got vacation and time. I got a light summer. I can do whatever, you know, whatever. And so I just started looking around and my niece used to. she was really good at finding cheap cruises for her and mother to go on when my mother was alive

and she's a NASA engineer so she's smart anyway but she knows how to do this a what engineer she worked for NASA now she runs a big I thought he said she's an ass engineer she doesn't know NASA and I'm so proud of her she's smart and wonderful and god damn but so she finds this there's a river cruise that leaves out of Paris parked right by the Eiffel Tower so so she doesn't know where we're going and she doesn't want to know she's excited about not knowing I told her what the temperature would be and what to pack for and she's okay I'm in I mean I'm in so on the way the plane don't tell her you know shut your eyes okay and so we get all the way there and they're out where we're landing in Paris and so hold on do you fly private or

commercial no I don't fly to Paris okay just you know I'm just trying to see what my future looks like no no no no it's it's it's it's it's nice but it in private you can't just fart you know you can you can you can it's ventilated that stuff goes out somewhere it's must right so anyway we get there and then there's people from the viking people are there and they take us over to this river cruise and we have a suite with a balcony not big but that's big as they get there except for two on the back that were gone and it was canceling whatever we're on it now i have weed and and edibles and mushrooms and i'm on vacation right and i'm ready to go and i can see when i looked at the boat i'm like this could be iffy on the pot smoking thing because of the way it's designed you know just 200 people

but i'm always been let's see what i can get away with and then go from there right and that's practical. So I got those little day because I'll go out there I'll just shut the door, smoke some peep, some pot and see what I can get away with. And then if I get accused of it, I'll just deny it and I'll quit doing it and I'll just either go on the top or figure out something that works. And so day two, I get a call from this

guy that's the hotel manager and he says, I got to come talk to you. And I know what it's about, you know? So I said, yes, sure, come on down. Big tall, Belgian dude, older than me. nice as he could be real diplomat and before I could even deny it

because he said you can't smoke pot in this room and I didn't smoke pot out there he said what you need to do is smoke pot out there with the door shut or up on top of the boat and I'm like this guy means me no harm he's a good guy yeah so I'm like hey listen thanks a lot that's actually

that's where I was smoking it but I wasn't that careful about keeping the door shut I'll be more careful he goes go great we shook hands we're best friends he said I know who you are I looked at up and so we're happier you're on the boat. I'm like, okay, great. Next day, our boat pulls up to a dock, and the dock is right by my balcony. I mean, I'm sitting there, and that's the dock right there. So I'm like, well, this might not work, but I'm going to see what I can get away with. So I allow to joint, and I realize we're not moving, so the pot smoke is just billowing

right there. And I'm not, and I'm like, this doesn't work. So I put out my joint. I'm like, I'll just smoke it off the boat because you're at a different little thing every day. or whatever. And it's Europe, yeah. Like, they're cool with Queenie, right? Yeah, yeah. France, not so much as Belgium, but or Amsterdam, Netherlands, whatever. They're calling Holland.

So anyway, at 6.30 that night, I get a call from the guy, and he goes, the captain wants to talk to you. And I said, do I know what it's about? And he goes, yep. And I'm like, okay, it's about 6 o'clock at night. And they knock on the door. And he'd come in the room, but they didn't want to come in the room. And the captain takes this really aggressive tone with me. And he's, I don't know if he's German or what his accent was exactly, but it was a little harsher.

Yeah. But he said, you've been smoking pot in your room. And that is against the rules of the Viking cruise people and he's real barky at me. And I said, hey, listen, dude, I've been smoking pot exactly where that guy told me. which is on my balcony. He goes, I think you smoked pot in your bathroom and then it got into the ventilation system and blew it into the hallway.

And I'm like, that is a conspiracy theory that you just made up and you also called me a liar in the process. Meanwhile, it's escalating. He's getting louder. I'm getting louder. And people are going to dinner. And it's just 200 people

and there's two things. They see them all at once. And there are people walking down the hall. We're in my hallway. and this guy's dressing me down and it got no traction with me. And then the big guy's trying to calm us both down because it's starting to get into a fucking eye stare,

you know, what are you going to do? Because I'll tell you what I'll do. And so the big guy kind of gets it all back going in the right direction. And the guy softens up. And it goes, now at no point, has anybody told me not to, pot on this boat. Nobody has. And the guy goes, well, perhaps if you smoked it on the top deck, I could look the other way. And I'm like, why didn't you open with that? Instead, you dress me down in front of all these people and make me look like a punk? And I said, I got to go

to dinner. And I slammed the door in his face. And I was pissed. And I, you know, if you want to talk to me man to man in my room, I own my part of it. And people vote in whether I'm right or wrong. I mean, I own my part. I was smoking a pot where I wasn't supposed to. I was trying to get away with something, but that's just what I do. And so I was just figuring out the water here. And this guy just, what was unforgivable is he did it in front of people. That's not very nice.

And this is Coombe 3, right? This is old people all together. It is elderly. Yeah. And so anyway, I'm like, I tell Angela, we got to get off this boat. and she goes, listen, the boat's in dock. It's going to be there until 7.30 the next night. So, well, let's just walk into the town.

We won't eat on the boat, which we hadn't anyway. We're going to town, find a restaurant, have some dinner, come back, sleep, and we'll walk around the town. It's going to be here all day and decide what we're going to do. But we don't need to just walk off now. And I'm like, you're right. You're absolutely right. So we go do that.

The next day, we're walking around in town. Well, they had taken all the people on these buses over to Normandy. And I wasn't going to do that anyway. And we see two couples that we know. And both of them were like, what happened? No. Are you getting kicked off the boat? What was it drugs?

Was it? I'm like, okay, we got to go because I can't, I won't get past it. And I didn't get past it anyway. I was like, tell me, I'll tell you, motherfucker. I'm in my bathroom by myself, you know, just, I can't let it go. I just know how I am. So we decided to leave

And the guy, the big guy that I liked He sends me Me and her A big plate of these Belgian chocolate strawberries That might be the best thing I've ever tasted in my life And in a bottle of wine That had no alcohol which was thoughtful Because I don't drink

And a handwritten note Apologizing for the way it was handled And By the guy? No That's the problem That's exactly the problem I didn't need him to apologize

He didn't apologize. He did nothing to me. He was great. Yeah, but well, let's just, right. Anyway, whatever his name is. We know what it's. It was just shitty. But, and here's kind of the shitty thing. I was like, I'm not going to make this about Viking because it was whatever experience it was. It had a lot of good people working on the boat. That's a hard gig, too, those people that work. Oh, my God. So I'm not, I'm like, I'm not going to go bash them because of the people, you know. And it was, it's a thing. I like it better than, like, a 7,000 people cruise, but not better than the Ritz Carlton. So, you know, it works. But then I wrote a complaint about the way this was handled to Viking Cruise, and they didn't say jack shit to me, not one.

Hold on. When did you write the complaint when you came home or as you're there? No, no. As we're there, we write a lot. I chat GDP. I just got kicked. And they said, oh, here's what to do. Call this number.

Do these things. Make sure you document it all now. And so I did all those things. And which I wouldn't have done anyway. I would have threatened to do it but never done. Sure, sure. Because that's how I am. Oh, boo.

I'll destroy you. And I'll do jack shit. I just rehearsed the confrontation in my head over and over again and give myself cancer. So go ahead. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, we wrote it. And I meant them no harm. I just wanted to know what happened, you know.

I mean, we walked off the boat. So you left the cruise? Yeah, we did. So you packed your bags. Four suitcases. Where were in? And what's the name of this town again? Yeah, we're outside of Paris.

Okay. And we just went up to a restaurant and said out and, hey, what are we going to do? But, you know, it's the world's my oyster. I'm on vacation. I have money. And, you know, we'll be fine. So we took it, ended up, we took a train back to Paris, and we found this sexy little boutique hotel.

Beautiful. We had a swing in the room. A fuck swing. Yeah, a little fuck swing. Your kid. What hotel is this? This is not the Ritz Carlton. No, no, no, no, no.

No, but it's five star and not that far from Moulon Rouge. But it's a beautiful little place. What was it? La Adore. Paris La Adore. Please look up the fuck swing. That's amazing. Guys enter the room dick first. Blue Chew isn't just a tablet. It's a cheat code for your crotch. Stronger, harder, longer lasting. Like someone gave your downstairs a pep talk in a gym membership. Blue Chew is the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sex. There is nothing worse in this life than not being hard. Why go through life like that? I take Blue Chew like I take vitamins to start the day.

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and a big thanks to Bluatu for sponsoring the podcast. Yeah, yeah. So it was, we had a great time just walking the streets. She had never been to Paris, and we were, and so we, you know, we had a great time there. And then, actually, when I came home, Viking did call. Okay. But it was just a follow-up call that they always made to people that have been a... They didn't even know I had left the boat.

This lady was like, just making sure everything was fine. And, oh, yeah, there it is. That's my room right there. God bless the French. Yeah. They really do not give a shit. No, and I'm telling you, that's a nice service. I'm sure they'll appreciate this plug, but it was, that's what it looks like.

Yeah, and they'll clean your fuck swing and everything. They got Lysol, they got all kinds of disinfectants, they got all kinds of things. There it is. There's your fuck swing. That's amazing. Yeah, but that was my room right there, the black one. The other one, I never saw the pink one, but there was a little balcony out there. Look at those floors. God, the French. Now, so it doesn't sound like Viking has made amends with you, Ron. Is that accurate? Well, you know, what I called that woman, that woman just left me a message saying, just seeing how the cruise went, you know. You may still be on it. Well, anyway, we're just checking on it.

Didn't even know. So I called back and I get a message and I tell her just a short version. We walked off the cruise after four days and nobody's been curious why. And I'm going to start doing podcasts next week. So why don't you guys decide how that ends? Well, I was going to say. Even she didn't call back. Oh, my gosh.

And so I would just add, I would suggest to Viking that they square some of that stuff off because every once in a while somebody has a legitimate complaint. Now, I would imagine what happened was they called that captain and he wouldn't quit smoking pot in his room. Are you Hitler or whatever? Yes, of course. And they go, well, if you did that, what are we going to do? But I'm sure they didn't ask the nice guy that was trying to make it all right and everybody have fun. And, you know, it was a pricey little venture.

Of course. You lost your money. It doesn't. Yeah. And it doesn't matter. That didn't matter. I wasn't that big on it anyway. You know, it was not right exactly my thing.

You smoke the pot on the boat. Is that how he sounded? A little bit. All right. I do not appreciate your sense of humor. The guy was probably from Australia and I just heard it wrong. I wasn't really listening to his words as much as his tone. Of course.

I'm like, this guy's being aggressive with me. I'm not going to tell the mom. Mommy's what to do, because when you rally YMH listeners around a particular cause, you see results. Whatever you guys do, don't go to Twitter and don't tag. Are you on Twitter? Yeah. Ron White. And let Viking crews know how rude and dismissive they were to our friend, Ron White, do not allow him to smoke marijuana free on the boat.

You know what? If anybody would have just said that. yeah you really seriously you cannot smoke you can't smoke wheat on the boat which i would have found a way to smoke it of course but you were told by the guy where to smoke it right right and i explained to that guy i did i'm just telling what i'm told here i'm just trying to find a way to get long i'm looking for boundaries right yeah and i i don't want trouble you don't want trouble you know i don't want to get taken off of my frequent flyer program or my course tsa and you know for and let's be honest it's a little bit of weed it's not the end of the field it's not like you are doing

heroin or putting methamphetamines and selling it in the stores i did say something about his silly little captain hat though and uh and i was trying to control myself and and you can tell angela because she's with hr she was your mouth her jaw was dropped she couldn't believe how he was talking to me amazing and she knew it was going to go nowhere because she knows me that that's not the way no fucking way Well, you're a real man. Have you, have you ever gone fist to blows with a dude? Have you fought?

Not at this age. Not that, yeah. You know, something to just break off and fall on the ground. That is wild that he was so disrespectful. And when I was 15, I did a carnival cruise and a crew member gave my step-sister and I weed. Like, so I was smoking out with the employees of the cruise ship. So give me a fucking break. Right.

These people aren't getting high after work or during work or whatever. They didn't look like a big getting high group when I met them for dinner. But they're just, you know, some people don't want to be on those big boats with, you know, some fat guy in a hot tub. You don't know. And it ain't that appealing. And so I think it works out. My mother loved them. I mean, that's why I would win it anyway.

Because your mom knew Viking crews. I trusted them. Yeah. She took the one up to Russia. She did? Did she like that one? Loved it. I don't like the Russians.

I don't trust them. I wouldn't go today. No. That's for sure. But this was quite a while back. The mother took that little trip. Reds. Yeah.

She liked it. But then Amsterdam was... That's the best. I just fucking loved Amsterdam. I've been there a few times. But we stayed in a big old fat hotel. It was great. You go on those little boats and cruise around.

Now they have a woman that's... that's got a virtual reality thing to it. So every once in a while they'll tell you to put on these headsets and then you see it 400 years ago. That's cool. Isn't that just neat? I don't know what that experience is called, but if you can bring that up,

they'd only been doing it for three weeks. I saw it on TikTok. And I'm like, oh, this is great. And it's all the way around too. So if you all the way back, you see a dude with a pole pushing this thing, his dog's in the front and Rembrandts over there. Hey, and he has some little jokes around.

And then dudes pissing into the, the canal. They love to pee. Taking a shit on the sandwich and throwing that in there. Right. They love that in Amsterdam. A shit sandwich river. Oh, I love it. You know what I like? And we just went down to Amsterdam. Golly, man. Nobody's just good at my shop. Oh, no. Oh, I don't have a shop. That's it.

What's I going to say? Oh, they have boats on the canal that people live on. Did you see those? Oh, yeah. That's wild. That'll be fun, huh? Yeah. That's a big year B&B hustle, too. I mean, they rent a lot of those out. And I thought about doing it. And I thought about what if it's all mildewy, you know? Oh, it's full of jizz, too. Just like comedy condos, where just guys come on everything. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't even eat the mayonnaise in the leftover from the week before.

Listen, I know you're just on vacation. What do you think about this? Have you done this? This is in Brazil. I'm Maria. I'm going to go back in you. Look, to the camera. Look at this woman.

Does she die later in this? One only hopes. I wish we could see. I was waiting for her to fall. Can you imagine? That would make a splat noise. Let's see this. Let me read the,

this woman is visiting a very popular tourist attraction of Brazil known as whatever good baguagda in Rio. she decided to climb down to a restricted zone where you need an experienced guide and proper equipment. She was not injured, but the video became viral after viewers reported this as dangerous and irresponsible. But she just wanted it to go viral, right?

And it did. So bingo. You can't live alone, Ron. Are you going to get married again? I don't know. How many times have you been married so far? I'm not sure. If you count that tall girl, what was her name?

A tall girl. Yeah, you're real tall. Beth or, nah, I can't think of her name, but that was real brief. And, I don't know, three or four, something like that. Three or four at this point. Oh, wow, you got to do pre-ups now, right? You've got to be doing that. Well, you know, absolutely.

But, you know, there was a pre-nump on the last one. And not my last girlfriend, but the last girl I was actually with. And that pre-nip didn't mean shit. Seriously, what state did you get divorced in? Well, it's real complicated. We got divorced in California. That's why. But there was, anyway, it's a long.

Sounds like a good story. You know, we were going to get a pre-num. And I spent a lot of money on this wedding in Dallas, which is where she was from. and 250 or 350 people rented an entire hotel with a French restaurant and a 19 piece band from New York and it was a you know and but when we got there she hadn't signed those papers shut up so you're telling me she shows up to the wedding well a couple of days before so we go down I'm like, hey, hey, hey, we got to get this, it won't be valid. But it's got to be done before that, her lawyer, my lawyer.

So I'm like, okay, well, we got 350 people coming tomorrow, you know, so we're not going to, we'll just go ahead and do this, but we're not going to sign these, we're not going to sign a marriage license, there's no marriage license, and we, we didn't live in Texas. And in California, there's no common law. You can live with somebody 100 years. Is that right? Yeah. but if you don't have a contract with them if you do have a contract you're you got a contract but

if you don't you don't explains how my dad got away with living with broads for so long yeah not marrying and uh so so then we ended up getting a divorce and uh wait wait hold hold on hold on one back it up so she shows up she hasn't signed these papers yet what is she why is she telling you the reason she's like is she giving you the whole well we're going to be together forever so why sign these I love you. I don't think she liked the numbers on it. Oh, okay. And she didn't really talk a lot about it. She was an entertainer also. And I was pretty crushed out on her. But, you know, I'd been beat up in court before. So by brutal divorce attorneys, everything has gotten better in the world except divorce attorneys. And it's 1860. And they got you in an alley beating your

ass with a stick and there's nothing you can do about it except fucking pay them and uh love them and so i said okay we're gonna have them basically a mock wedding we're gonna go through all this stuff we had an aerialist no what's that an aerialist what is that like somebody at a madonna show that wraps around and all that fucking thread that's so hard to do wow these brides have strong thighs i could never do this okay well it was a chick and i and i and she toured with the Broadway show so these were just some of the dancers that were in the show

that's six figures at least and she was a singer so it's oh what that party? The aerial dancer? That's expensive. She was free. Oh she was free? Yeah she was a friend and why we had her I mean I saw a 40 foot boom when I walked in this room

I'm like we don't need a 40 foot boom and I mean made this movie that all showed up in court that was all it was for it was for court and uh anyway and i and i so we go through the procedure of it we have dancers we have and all i was supposed to do was learned was to write my vows and learn how to cha-cha and so 30 minutes before the wedding i'm like what do do do do do do do do yeah and um so anyway we have the life

and living in Montecito and we decided to get a divorce and how long did you stay together before you decided to do that was from that point on we were together for quite a while for eight or nine years

oh that's a good lot but three years we were after that ceremony so I don't think she understood there was no common law marriage in California that's what I think and and because I was surprised to find out and I didn't know it either but when I found out I wasn't

going to chumper you know I said I'll give you this amount of money by Friday and you don't have to ever work again and she's oh no I want way more than that I want a lot of money hold on what point is this at the divorce she's saying that to you yeah right after I tell her that I'm gone so she never signs the papers which ones The initial pre-nut papers. Does she ever sign them? No, she never signs them, but there's no marriage license either. Okay, so we don't live in Texas.

So anyway, they convinced this fucking California judge who did not like me that because we lived, we came to Texas on a tour bus with two bathrooms, that that's a home. No. And so we technically did live in Texas, which is all complete and total. bullshit. I mean, my assistant this, she goes, well, technically I'm, yes, I'm married to the bass

player from Poison. Right. I hopped on that bus for a few days and I mean, it was just a horrible decision and then it, you know, then it went into so, but anyway, yeah, yeah, there'll there'll be something that recognizes what's happened already

and, and, you know, whatever. So, I mean, that's, just a fact of nature and then i and then i hope it works i mean i hope the relationship works you know yeah i don't want to keep doing this i'm just you know i really am getting old and i don't want to get old by myself and i love women i really do i believe you you know a lot of male comics i think hated their mommies and so you know i love my mom you love your mother i know and you know something i would never make you learn the cha-cha before the stupid wedding i'll never do that yeah

do that too well it was a big part there were it was a lot of stupid don't you hate when people do that stupid shit oh I got mad I was mad at the whole thing and because her and her sister were doing it and I gave them a budget and boy they blow that out of the water and I'm walking around looking at this stuff going I should ask more questions you know as I go through life and see what's going on now it was fun and I love the pictures from it because a lot of my friends are dead and you know I can go back and look at them and you know and we were all younger and prettier and you know so and uh but i was you know i was nuts about all of them at one time you know and i was real nuts about her great singer uh you know

you never know what life's going to bring you never know that's the fuckery of it of it all right you can't the human heart you just we can't help ourselves it uh it wants what it wants and yeah so it was funny because I was I was dating her brother I was that was I was no I I wasn't dating her brother her brother's a really good friend of mine and I'd known her forever you know so I knew her whole family and and so and he didn't like it he didn't like a one bit and I was talking to Charlie Barracola who's a comic out of North Carolina and he goes I'll hold my sister down and let you fuck her if you'll give me, Alex's dates.

Okay, that's the funniest thing I've heard this year. Jesus Christ. Well, look, I hope that this girlfriend is wife number five and that she takes care of you in your old age, because you don't want this type of shit to happen.

Oh, what exploded? Let's see that again. It didn't even look like that dangerous thing she was doing. Is she dead? She's heating up a canteen. Go. Oh, she's, she's, uh, oh. That had some blast force.

I don't know. I set her back a little bit. What is she doing there? Do you guys know? It looks like a jar of like pasta sauce or something, like a glass. Oh, she's canning. She's canning, like, uh, whatever. She's kidding.

Right. For the winter. Yeah. this is hilarious yeah it's splattered everywhere too i imagine the glasses everywhere that's kind of cool right what do you think is that funny or is sad that fucking hilarious i mean look at that you can tell it wasn't staged look at all the sauce all the way up the cabinet and on the ceiling it's amazing here look at this did you see this one this took place in amsterdam speaking of

Oh my god Was that a special chair? They weren't supposed to sit in? Hold on, I'll read it to you right now. That's what you guys did when you got off your bike and cruise. That's Ron White and his girlfriend. Boom. Okay.

Tourists are unnamed. artist is Nicola Bola, who was inspired by Van Gogh to create this piece. The chair was covered in hundreds of Swarovsky crystals, and as the tourist went to pose for a picture, he fell back and broke the chair. The tourists later fled the museum. Oh, no, this took place in Italy. I think you should have, and I think they could have caught him. He didn't look like he was going to fled too fast. Do you think he was? Fuck, no. They didn't catch it. Look at that dude you know what's so stupid i could totally see myself doing something this stupid you could for fucking sure like you you know what i'm saying like you and me walking through the museum

we're a little loose we're having some laughs and i'm like hey ron watch this i'm gonna fucking sit on the chair dude crunch let's get out of here it's so fun all right what about oh where is this this one's cool speaking of fat so's does your belly touch your steering wheel while you're driving. In the center of the steering wheel, there's an airbag, which may explode in your direction in order to protect you if you're in an accident. But if you're sitting too close, it could actually really hurt you. It's your favorite fat, queer automotive educator. Fat and queer. And some steering wheels can be adjusted. They're typically called telescopic steering wheels. Adjust the steering wheel and seat to find a position that's safe to drive in with as much

distance. What are you feeling? If she lost weight, she wouldn't have anywhere to stick her cell phone while she was looking while she was driving. Do you ever, I use every once in a while when I was bigger, I would use my fat roll as just a place to stick something for a minute, like a cap of a pen, you know, stick it in a fat roll. She's got, she could store some stuff in this, but if she lost a lot of weight, she'd be like, I don't know what to do with this bottle cap. You need. You pockets and stuff and they don't put pockets in women's clothing when i had huge tits i used to store stuff on top of my tit shelf you know like when i'd be eating because it was so big and i could rest stuff on my tits or like an like an otter exactly like an honor you just sit there and just

cracked shells and feed them with your little hands it was perfect There she goes. Fats, though. Oh, there I am. There's me eating my snacks. Except it's ruffles. That's ruffles. Yeah, I like ruffles.

There you go. Here, is this what you do in your house when you're alone? Actually, he's kind of a nimble little minks. I mean, I couldn't do that. No. There's a little bit of whipping that. No. Listen to him breathing, too.

Yeah. I think about 45 seconds would be the distance for him, right? That'd be about the hand of it. Well, you know, I'm always amazed when I see really fat people that are in shape. Like, I don't get it. Like, why are they still fat? If he can do that shit for hours, like, what's the deal? Yeah, I saw a fat drummer the other day.

I'm like, how do you, it's such an active thing to do. And he was so good, you know, he had to do it all the time to be good at something like, you know, that. And I guess just... Just eat too much. Yeah, yeah. Chomp, chomp. That's the problem.

That's why I like being on the OZempies is because I wouldn't chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. But then again, I wouldn't exercise either. And I wouldn't take a shit. That's the trifecta problem with the OZempies. Can't take a shit. Yeah, I struggle I'm on Ozimic Do you shit?

You know I can get Pretty packed up But you know I got another product I got a shelf full of shit I got to take Just to keep it all moving

And going Yeah man And But then I still I swear I've never looked This bad before It's something about the

I look like Willie Nell I look like I'm 91 years old And I'm only I'm not very old but that's the fun part about aging is you you think you look great and then you catch yourself in a monitor or a clip of yourself and you're like oh my god oh how does anybody fuck me ever anybody love me i'm so fucking unlovable oh horrible all right oh i was going to say oh have you

done this with chicks since you're pretty experienced lover i don't know if you're if you've ever done this no but i would show you show you show you show you show you show you show it's an energy sex did you have to have him come over to it or they're teaching other people how to do it i mean because i think uh my girlfriend and are quite active Yeah, I imagine you require a lot of sexual activity. Well, that's my, that's when I'm a little nervous when I marry you after Tom dies. I'm not so sure I can keep up with your knees. I like to, I like to, I like to bang.

I tell you what, I do. And so you'll have to, you know, bite a piece of wood or whatever it's. Bite a piece of wood. Could you buy me a strap or something? No, we're going to. Well, it depends on how you're doing the divorce. Oh, Tom's dead. You have it all.

You have it all. I don't need your money. Oh, that's right. This is a love match now. I don't need your shit. My own shit. Wait, now, how many, are you banging every day? Walk me through your needs.

And that's just the beginning. She's going to kill me for even saying this. She's not listening to this. She can't, she's not listening. She doesn't know what the show is. Yeah, nobody is except a couple of moms. You know, at least at least twice. a day and you know some days three times a day for how long okay this is the beginning of your

relationship so that's when it's hot yeah right i get that now are you telling me i'm talking about yesterday sure sure but like in uh two three three five years from now is it still going to be three times a day no i mean it won't but but for those first few years you know your first few years you're going to have to bite the wood and uh and i don't mean you get bad head either that Okay, so I have to, we got to do everything. Everything's on the table with you or what do we? Anil. Yeah.

Buddy, I just made a horse noise. I know. You're stressing me out. You sound like a pony. I'm sweating already. I don't know if I could do that. No, nothing's on the table. Whatever you want to do.

Annal. I can't do anal. I can't do anal. Hold on. Tom wants to chime in. Tom wants to chime in. Hold on. He's calling in.

I'll show him your tits right now. you need me here that's what you need you need me here oh my god that's the fuck was that i think that's good podcasting it's my husband telling me i'm doing a bad job no wonder you like me so much i'm nicer to you i definitely know he's so hurtful anal wow okay every day anal no no that's like that's a sometimes treat right birthdays and annaburs oh that's a that's a nothing burger yeah yeah Yeah, that's fucking... Yeah, any weird canics I got on about? Just bite the wood.

They've got Nova cane, I think. I don't know. Here, listen. I don't know if you like this place. You have nothing to lose when you come to Cracker Barrel, but everything to gain. There's so many things you can gain from Cracker Barrel. Great food.

Great hospitality heroes. Great ambassadors. Great managers who will be there for every need you have. So remember, you can never go wrong when you go to Cracker Barrel. Make Cracker Barrel your dining choice. It's America's number one choice.

Go to Cracker Barrel and celebrate. You can't go wrong. Well, has he convinced you? Well, I didn't really need convincing because early in my road days, when Cracker Barrel was new and there weren't very many of them, they were, I mean, there's still a grid,

they're so fucking good yeah and uh but even back then it seemed like you know it was just waffle house which i like yeah i like waffa house and uh but i would see a i wouldn't know they were coming because i didn't know where they were you know i'm just out on the road going to hillsborough some state yeah and i and i and they were mostly in tennessee i think and i was like oh i remember one time i i threw i'd just eaten the shitty meal and i saw a cracker barrel sign i threw up in the bathroom and went in there and said to eat again and I didn't have a lot of money I had no money but I just but yeah I did because you wanted to eat a proper meal I wanted to eat that cracker barrel that breakfast sausage that hashbrown with the cheese I'm now I'm a walking commercial

it seems like there's not enough hours in a day but I want to let you know one thing there's enough hours to go to crack a barrel you can go to crack a barrel any time a day at seven o'clock we open we have great breakfast dinner and lunch we have so much many great desserts we have a puking booth you're like you're like the greeks that's what the greeks would do the vomatoriums they enjoy eating so much that they would eat puke and then eat again now if i didn't have they wouldn't eat puke they would eat comma puke eat children and then start over and then fuck yeah so that's always been my fantasy if i didn't have a puke phobia because sometimes you eat a meal on the road and you're so fucking

angry that you consumed that you're so disgusted and you're like god damn it i've wanted to do that to vomit and then go somewhere good but you've lived my dream yeah in a in a gas station bathroom i lived your dream of uh throwing it but i tell you what they did do sure uh i was in because i we we stop at them all the time you know tour bus for the room for the bus out back and yeah my crew and and but this time it was just me and my and my bus driver for some reason and they came in they handed me a ticket with zero written on it and they said we have a policy when entertainers come we pick up their tab and then they handed my bus driver a bill for 14 dollars and I'm like what is this like a feed the rich program I know that's not cool we've

decided who really doesn't eat it the most and just give them some food well what a weird way to be you know that is true when when i was poor companies weren't sending me boxes of cosmetics nobody gets free shit like rich people i know they just and the first time i heard somebody say that it was jeff foxworthy's brother as jeff was unwrapping a brand new hunting rifle that would have been three thousand dollars that his brother could have never dreamed of you know of getting but it's it's true i know the stuff they send rogan man you could open a store and it's like a king just reselling his stuff that he genuinely doesn't want. No.

I mean, I try to be, I give stuff away a lot to people, you know, try to be cognizant of that. But then some people are so good at sending swag. Do you know who Mr. Beast is, the famous YouTuber? He gives away money. He gives away money, and my kids absolutely love Mr. Beast. So shout out to Mr. Beast, because he will send us boxes of the feastables and all that. stuff and my kids just go nuts. Oh, and nobody needs more than your children.

They're so poor. Oh, wow. Unfortunate children, yeah. So, but I mean, that's cool, right? Hold on. I have to show you one more thing. I'm so excited about this. Have you heard about...

Sure, baby. Is this guy entering a contest of who can say the most nice shit about Cracker Barrel? Is that what that was? Because that wasn't a professional commercial of any kind. No, but here's the thing. Does he work there because he's got the apron and the colors on? Is one of the stars falling off? I don't understand.

Or is that all part of the apron? I thought he was holding a mug. It's so funny. But, okay, I got it. I got it. I understand it all now. I love Crackerboro. And then they sell you the Christmas ornaments and all the shit in the store.

And it's so good. Yeah, and they've always got a really good root beer in that ice by the, you know, the podium little preacher stand and um i like the chotchkes too on the wall you know i used to rent books from them because you could rent books on tape and then play them on your way to the next cracker barrel and then turn them in and get a new book stop for like three bucks or something yeah no that was my big whole existence i had a big custom band and uh and i was just my son was like two and a half and he's in a play school car seat right next to me I fought for joint custody, but I mean, there are times you don't need 50%, you know, percent.

Because they, and I was so shocked that they just gave them to me. Yeah. I was like, oh, yeah, here you go, two and a half year old baby. I'm like, I don't know what I've been gone for two and a half years that he got to be two and a half. Wow. But we made it fine. I would take him to comedy clubs and hand him to a waitress. and just don't give him any beer

I'll be back in 45 minutes That's amazing That's just He actually One time he goes He was about four And so we've been doing it for a while And we're at this club

And I said I said okay We gotta go to the club And he goes Dad because every once in a while It was cute to bring him on stage And get some laughs And he goes

I want to go to the club But I don't want to go to the club but I don't want to go on the stage. I just want to sit in a green room. And I said, this club doesn't have a green room. And he goes, oh, it's a funny bone. I knew. He fucking knew.

Wow. He was already club hip. That's so funny. That's a funny bone. That's true. You'd have to sit in, like, the office of the manager or something. Yeah. That fucking sucked.

Yeah, another new stapler to play with. Here, give him a stapler. Poor servers are having to go around you to get into the, showroom and stuff everybody's in the way at the comedy club yes yeah yeah my kids haven't done i've showed them the inside of mothership a little but we've we've seen tom when he'll do big venues like arenas and we'll let them do the sound check where they like scream into the mic and that's pretty cool but uh that's special though i think that's really unique because it becomes normal for them because the kids don't even care that we're who whatever doing what we do

yeah they don't give a shit they just wanted to love them That's all. That's all. They don't think we're special. And my son and I, well, you know, we're really close. He's awesome. He turned out great, by the way. Wonderful, wonderful human being, my favorite person. And we're all still friends. His mom lives in Bastrop and her husband, who's one of my favorite people in the world.

You know, that's a big component of your life is who's that stepdad going to end up being. And, you know, that contest. I fucking won. That's great. It couldn't have been somebody better than him. So I've always been real grateful, real careful with those relationships, you know. Did your mother get remarried? She did, and she was remarried for a long, long time.

I mean, for, I think, like 30 years before he died. And then she just passed a year and a half ago. I remember, yeah. Sorry. I know you liked her a lot. You loved her. I was so sad. I know, buddy.

so sad but you know it's uh what you lose is part of your memory you know and uh you know finding somebody that gives a fuck about your story uh you know besides your you know your mother so and my father died really young so 51 well how did he die he had all just all kinds of big health problems he worked in a carbon black plant in the panhandle of texas that every day you come home just covered from head to toe with just this black powder that's fucking and uh and i'm sure it wasn't very good for you no and so but you know and his dad died at 61 so i'm 68 so i which sounds kind of old when you start talking about their numbers you know but uh so far i've outlived them all and i feel great i was going to say you've got like the the lottery

of genetics then that's pretty great mother was almost 90 and 89 when she passed so uh you know that's not too bad that's awesome you know i have a few summers left you know that i'm that i may be mobile or whatever so and i'm having a good time i you know i still love love love love doing stand-up more than ever i think and i and i think i'm i think i'm better at it uh i would than i was and uh and i was always pretty good at it and but it just different now you know just having fun down at the mothership and I don't do that back-breaking road stuff that Tom's doing I did that for a long long time 140 cities you know and so I and I always did that because I thought it was

gonna end you know because that's what these things do right they come to a fucking screeching halt and nobody gives a fiddler's fuck about you and anymore but for some reason it just didn't it just didn't quit you know and babe it's not for some reason it's because you are you know you are you've always been masterful okay i'm gonna i'm gonna blow smoke up your skirt a little bit i love small i know you do i know you do but i was setting you up i love you so much i would study you when i you know for many years i would just watch your old stand up and just watch your stillness my god i think you are the master at stillness you know you hold your cigar back in the day the whiskey glass and you just set it up and you let the fucking pin out

and then boom and it's really hard to cultivate that confidence and stillness and i remember one time i don't know if you remember you said this to me in the green room you go christina if you're doing bad slow down if you're doing good slow down and that has stuck with me you told me that maybe like two years ago and I always remember how the fuck are you this were you this confident and still you know I've I've been I've been doing this for 38 years and and I I found out I was talking about this and oddly enough

in the green room last night because sometimes I'm father time up there and the youngs who gather around and I'll tell them

stories by the fire but I had I put on a character more early in my career just because I didn't know

you know I thought I'll sound like you know brother Luther whatever the fuck you know with a thicker accent like this isn't enough and uh and i just found over time that the closer i got to who i really am the more they responded uh to what i had to say and uh because anything that's not true to your nature is not interesting to me but the absolute truth

is very interesting if you can get to it. If you can actually be who you really are. And so I'm Ron White over here. I just walk over here and I'm just, if I can do that, and it's so hard just to let it all go and just be yourself. Now, at the same time, I'm doing a very planned show, right?

So it looks like I'm just out there chatting because I deliver it like I'm talking to one person Yes, that is the essence of it too That's the brilliance, yep And also I don't know another way to do it You know, I couldn't do

What other comics do But if I tried to, it would for sure be uninteresting Because it wouldn't be my nature And not that everything I say is true Not that anything I say is true but I don't put on any pretense that I'm something other than what I am

basically morally, you know, actively, whatever, you know. And quite frankly, I'm okay with it. And so I like myself fine. Well, and I've just, you know, so people do, I've gotten to know you a little bit personally in the last few years and you are fantastic. You are actually, you know,

if you think he's cool on stage, he's even cooler off stage. Like I just think, you're fantastic but uh you're right and you know what i love best about watching your act is what a degenerate uh you are on stage and but it doesn't it's hard for for men uh to do it without coming across as gross or creepy and you don't skeve women out you know it's almost endearing you're like oh isn't that funny that he's a pervert like that's so sweet this guy's a total pervert i love him it makes you it makes somebody like you more That's a real skill.

Yeah, the closing joke is horrible. I mean, it's a horrible visual, and people just laugh at it like it's a regular joke. And women and men, and they're like, oh, it's so funny that he ass-wrecked this 70-year-old woman while he was wearing skates or whatever. Yeah. You know, it's an awful visual. And, but boy, I get away with it. And that, I don't know why that I, that, that, but I think that I, even before that, I do say in, in my show that I love women, my age.

And, and I, and I do. I find them interesting and, and, and we like the same music and, you know, so. And even Angela, I thought, was too young for me. And, uh, but, you know, she's, uh, she's, I mean, what a catch. Ron, do you like goth music? Golf? Gough music? Goff.

You ever, goff? G-O-T-H. You ever listen to, uh, The Cure? Bouthouse? I just, I know some cure songs probably. Okay. That'll, that'll qualify. Listen, um, I am so grateful that you're here.

Do you have something to plus? look what are you doing are you're on the road hey can you pull up the the poster for that just out of curiousness curiousness curiosity didn't even get to use my new fart mic this episode an austin artist did that that's awesome isn't it in it fine yeah i'm saying i can do this i got my surgery for that we record these things out of time and um i'm getting my boobs reconstructed very soon so that's why we're doing all these episodes i'm excited Next time you see me, I'll have a whole new rack. I'll have a tummy tuck.

Are they going to, like, use some... Your fat to... Use your belly fat to make tits, bro. It's fucking wild. Thank God, right? I want tiny little French girl tits. Not the big sloppers I had before. Oh, you're going to be, like, wait, like 10 pounds lighter, right?

You're going to be faster. You're going to be climbing trees. Lighter. I still won't do it all. Okay. Also, check out the YMH merch store. We have so many items. on sale right now. They're not going to last forever, guys. Once these are sold, we're not going

to reprint them. So go ahead, chuck it out, try it out. Buy my lipsticks. I'm wearing a shade right now that I will be selling very soon in the coming months. And anything else, Ronway? Any closing thoughts? You know, just maybe a little bit about the, because of the flood, the reconstruction of the flood yes uh i went down there the day before my vacation i drove out to hunt and uh to ground zero right where camp mystic was and uh and don't you will not be ready for what you see and so that is uh is going on and and it'll be going on for a long time uh they're digging up cars that are 15 feet under gravel in this riverbed and And so encourage the people that are actually trying to physically help to continue to help

because it's going to be here for a long time and a lot of our volunteers. And so you can stop the blame game. I'm telling you, I know what happened in this storm. And it's nobody's fault. And if it happened again, that would happen again no matter what we did. So anyway, let it go. find a way to help Ron's got a phone call

we got to go donate money here care county flood relief fund and yeah not a positive way to end the show

no it is let's let it be let's let's let's let me do that hold on you know what let's go back to here let's go back here you have nothing to lose when you come to crack a barrel

there you get everything to gain there's so many things you can gain for crack a barrel 28 pounds that's what I game. The grits always kill. Come on, bring them on. Oh, guys.

And of course, oh, shit. I'm off the rails. I can't stop him. It's America's number one choice. Oh, no. Oh, they've taken over the studio. All right, this is a good time to end the show. Bye, bye.

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