Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

YMH Live is back and better than ever! Tune in March 7th at https://livestream.ymhstudios.com/ Touch our camera through the fence, chomos! SPONSORS: - Ready to take control of your money? Head to https://acorns.com/YMH or download the Acorns app to get started. - Trade is exclusively offering our listeners 40% off your first order at https://drinktrade.com/YMH. On this special episode of Your Mom’s House, we celebrate 800 episodes of the podcast that birthed Studio Jeans. On today’s show, we take a look at some highlights from the last one hundred episodes such as Fart Gate, Nadav’s passing, Stavros reacting to Norm’s poutine, and the Enny vs Ryan basketball rivalry. We also look back at Dan Soder’s Chapelle impression, Caitlin Campbell’s daily vlog, ICP’s YKWIS supercut. Other topics include: Garth Brooks, Robert Smith, Bryce Mitchell, Andy Milonakis, Candace Owens, and Alec Baldwin’s new reality show. Here’s to 800 more! Enjoy. Your Mom’s House Ep. 800 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:29 - Opening Clip: Footjob Review 00:09:17 - Clip: Be Young & Ruin Things 00:14:18 - YMH Civil War: Ryan Vs Enny 00:28:05 - Stavros Reacts to Norm's Poutine 00:31:50 - Garth Brooks, Dan Soder's Chapelle Impression, & Robert Smith 00:39:15 - Nadav's Passing & Caitlin Campbell 00:46:14 - ICP YKWIS Supercut & Airtight Abby 00:50:28 - Fart Gate 00:58:44 - Ice Cold Pepsi, Bad Haircuts, & Bryce Mitchell 01:09:48 - Alec Baldwin Reality TV & Candace Owens 01:17:09 - Episode 800 Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I've been looking forward to this for a long time. Not everybody could do this. We're thankful for you for being a viewer, a supporter of this show. It's been a long transformation. Without you, our genes are low and loose. And if she let me eat her booty, I'mma eat her booty. Your mom's house live, bitch! House Live. Bitch!

Why makes live is so exciting? This is our first one in a while. This is a big, big episode. I love you. Yeah! I don't anymore. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. At Desjardins, we speak business. We speak startup funding and comprehensive game plans. We've mastered made to measure growth and expansion advice,

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It's time for the 800th episode of Your Mom's House. Woo! Isn't that wild? So many genes. It's so crazy, man. We found 800 different ways to talk about Brown, injuries, cool guys, mental illness, 800 episodes, sexual things.

It's pretty cool. So today, yeah, this marks the 800th time we've done this podcast. It's amazing. I can't even wrap my head around that. It's just so many episodes. It's a blur. It's a blur. It's been through really can't even wrap my head around that. It's just so many episodes, it's a blur. It's a blur.

Yeah. It's been through really a huge part of our life. I mean, that's- All of it. We've been doing this roughly 15 years now. So this was like, we were married, but we had just gotten married. We were newlyweds, basically.

We were in an apartment in Silver Lake. This took us through, we've had two kids. I know. We've had family deaths. Yep. We've had so many, we've moved homes, we've moved states. We've had your Invisalign. Invisalign, which I would say of the last 15 years,

the most traumatic thing that happened to either of us was Invisalign. Invisalign, which I would say of the last 15 years, the most traumatic thing that happened to either of us was Invisalign. To anybody in this family. Yeah, especially when they came off. I really hated that a lot. It hurt so bad. You had some other shit, but Invisalign is really what I think this sticks with us.

Yeah. Yeah, so we're gonna discuss some of those things, and plus, you know, there's other, you know what I'm saying, COVID. You know what I'm saying? You know, 19 virus. There's a bunch of things that we can talk about. You know what I'm saying?

Real quick to let everybody know, in two days, it is March 7th. And that means YMH Live 10 is coming. It is back. YMH Live is back. 7.30 PM Central Time. It's our biggest one yet. We're gonna tell you some of the amazing details in a moment, but we have the great Dan Soder, one of the funniest comedians working today, is joining us live in studio.

Of course, there are brand new original sketches and things that we've shot. We're giving away $10,000. You can go to ymhdudios.com for more information there. Grab your ticket and we will announce the winner live on the show right before the heavy segment. And don't miss the exclusive VIP post show with the great cockroach, Josh Potter. So that's all happening March 7th right here, ymhtstudios.com.

These sketches, by the way, that we're doing for this YMH Live are, I think, the best we've ever done. It's so good. It's other level. I mean, we should just say it, who's gonna be appearing. Dare we? Yeah, I think it's worth saying that

we brought Tony John to town. Woo! So he came to town. He came to Austin and did a sketch with us. He did, he came to town and we also have just appreciating my cock and my balls. The great Will Blenderfeld, Eni's close friend. Yep, life partner, life coach.

I'm shameless, I'm fearless, I'm doubtless. That's what he says after he eats his cum, right? And yeah, it's. I'm shameless, I'm fearless, I'm doubtless. That is. That's what he says after he eats his cum, right? And yeah, it's- I'm shameless, I'm fearless, I'm doubtless. That is one of the times he says that. A really juicy anus workshop. Let's just say, we- It's so good.

We had a workshop with him, it's incredible. And on top of that, on top of all that, we have the one and only... What's up there, chomo? Charo. Charo. You like it? Thata there, retard.

Charo did an amazing bit. And me. So we have that. We have another crazy short film that we made. It's not even a sketch, it's a short film. It's the biggest one we've ever done and we're super excited. So I hope you'll join us. And of course, I always have to remind people, I'm happy to do it.

A lot of people worry because it's called YMH Live. They're like, what if I can't be there live? You can still watch the show after the original live version. If you get a ticket, you could watch it Saturday, Sunday month the next week. It's viewable for you anytime It's just if you want to be there live as it happens. It's gonna be 730 p.m. Central on March 7th It's amazing. It's a maze. It's a maze. You ready to start the show maze. Of course. All right, here you go Of course, I just got my second foot job of all time. Oh. So let's talk about it in Reddit one through 10.

Unfortunately, I would have to give this a seven out of 10. I did finish from it surprisingly and I did love it. I don't know, it's just something about the grip on the bottom of the feet like the calluses. And when they curve it and grip it, it feels so good to me. I don't even look at the feet. I make eye contact the whole entire time.

Last time I didn't like it because she was the order lady, but this time she was my ace. So I think that made a difference for sure. Yeah, yeah That would make all the difference Get it Tom Ma-sa-gura and Christina Pujitsy Welcome to your mom's house Okay Easy money given for jobs I would do that for cash.

That's easy. Jack, keep the love with my paws and be done. So easy. I did finish from it surprisingly. So it's pretty cool that he's posting. My favorite thing is a young person going like, this is some things I'll put out. Like this is your digital footprint forever. No pun intended.

That like, yeah, I got a couple of foot jobs recently and you just do an online review of them for people. Yeah. Cause is there, is the community so vast and various that they need a reviewer? It's not like buying a car. I don't think, yeah. He's also, he looks like he's fucking 19. I know.

This is, he's gonna go in for an interview at some point where he'll be like, are you the foot job review guy? Or even a lady. Yeah. Maybe maybe a dating person down the road is like, what the fuck? Why did you feel compelled to post this? I don't know what it is.

I can't really explain it. Like the grip is weird. The texture is weird. It's definitely weird, but it feels good. It's like trying octopus or squid. Like it's definitely different, but it tastes good. I will say the clarity does hit a lot harder than normal because it's like damn

Did I really just do that to a pair of feet? I didn't ask to do it this time I was never gonna ask again. She asked and I thought she was joking, but she actually kept on asking So I was like, fuck it. Let's do it. Oh Well, that's cool It is I'll also I'll say this his analogy was fantastic Yes, it is like trying squid or squid. Like this is not the normal thing I do. Well, he was saying too that the older broad has calluses, which definitely that adds up.

It's just inevitable over time. Yeah. But how does she get the grip with the feet? Practice, you just gotta practice. That's what I'm wondering is how do you get a firm grip with the middles of your feet? Yeah I'll show you so Anyway, it's cool that I have a feeling this is just my

Assumption here. Yeah, this is not the only review this man has left We cut kind of maybe worth exploring what other reviews he puts There's no way he's just like living life and decided this is a one-off. No, no, no, no. This is a lifestyle. This person probably has a bunch of cool reviews. It's really risky to put it out there at 19. It's pretty young, he's young. Yeah, he's not at the end of his life

where he's made his money and his family. Yeah, the young doing, not realizing what they're doing. So this is one lane where he's like, obviously like talking about busting nuts. Here's another that you could be young and and kind of ruin things You know what 1444 me Hell Hitler Oh Oh

No, itler 1444 look Exactly, yeah, you guys don't ask bitches don't know shit Say something about Mexicanicans. Say something about them. Oh, Mexicans? No, exactly. We can't get into a rap hole. You want to know something? Say something. You want to be a motherfucker?

That's why you came to Mexico. You want to know something about Mexicans? Yeah, I should say something. You goddamn beaners should be sliced at the throat at the border. We should slice you goddamn beaners at the throat. You wanna know why? Come here, bring the camera.

No, I'm listening, I'm listening. Yeah, bring the camera. Wait, bring the camera. Yeah, I'm listening. We're listening, everyone is. You wanna know why you goddamn beaners should be sliced at their throat? Why?

Listen. Because you guys are goddamn border hopper niggers. Wow. What? Michael, what's your name again? dog. What's your name again? Wow. What's your name again? He shouldn't be drinking, he's only 21 years old and he.

See that sets you up for life. Yeah. This exists forever. Yeah, it's a good one. It's a good one to put out there. That's a good one, cause you know in the 90s, maybe every now and then you'd meet a rando like that. Yeah.

And you're like, that guy's just fucked up, and then you talk about it for years. Yeah. But this. Yeah, that guy's just fucked up. And then you talk about it for years. But this. Yeah, you'd be like, remember the guy. Remember that guy that called you an n1? And then you'd be like, this guy, this is the guy. Here, let me pass this around. No, and his life is over.

His employment possibilities, his whole career trajectory. His life is done. It's so fucking. Fucking Bryce. I'm a border hopper nigger. Bryce just destroyed his future. And he probably had a good one

because he's wearing a nice polo button up. That might be a work that looks like it's an actual, it's not like a choice from his closet. He might've been working this event. Tied one on. Yeah. Bill Hitler. Like when his boss was like, whoa, wait a minute.

What are you doing? Club bitch. Wow. And not only that, I will say. He had a lot of notes. Yes, and what's really interesting is that he pulled out Beaner, which is old school. That's old school, yeah. So somebody older than him is training him, is what I'm thinking.

The kids for today, they don't really know that. They don't know Beaner. No. You goddamn Beaners. He comes from a cool line of people. Right. His mom and dad are saying this crap to him. Yeah, it's not just him, man.

It's pretty cool. Ooh, 1444. Yeah. What's so stupid? He had it all. He got Hitler. Wow. He said, you fat bitches.

Bitches, yeah. What's up, bitch? And he said to kill people, slice their throats. I thought he was gonna be like, you know why I just sliced your throats to the border? This is Mexican food's delicious. Like I thought he was gonna turn it to the food, but yeah. Which is true.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, he's hearing this speech from dad, I think. Or uncle. Yeah. Somebody our age is training him. Taking our job. Are you popping the big question?

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and not complain for all this shit that you... It's unbelievable. But, anyway... But the problem is this guy never knew any beaners, you know what I mean? He didn't grow up around Mexicans. The way that I did, you did in Latin culture. He does not know no respect for them. No, he has no respect. No, no knowledge. He doesn't know any Mexicans.

That's true. The country club, he grew up and he never met him. He didn't. He's gonna get to know some now. He's gonna have a whole new life experience now. You know, one good thing about- Are you the guy? They're gonna go, are you the guy? That said-

God damn border hopper niggas. Is that you? I was gonna say that the one bright spot about MAGA and Donald Trump returning to office is that now these cool clips are resurfacing. Yeah. Of a lot of Hitler clips, a lot of, you know, get them out of the country, they're taking our job clips. Those are really surfacing up now. Making people poke their chest out again. It's good.

Getting comfortable. Well, get comfortable with it. You're going to have a whole cool bunch of things happen in your life. It's fun that you're young enough that you get to experience a full life now. A full life. Yeah. So anyway, we were, there's so many cool things to review and talk about.

One of the things we were gonna do is talk about some of the best moments of the last 100 episodes. Wow. One of the first things that comes to mind is episode 704. This is when Ryan and Eni challenged each other to basketball. That was awesome. Do you remember, is that, I remember how,

I couldn't believe how competitive Eni was. Like you really dug deep. First of all, you were like one of the only black guys I ever knew that was like, I'm not good at basketball. Like I didn't play, it wasn't my obsession growing up. Like you just. What is that, Eni? Well, that's my other half talking.

Oh, right. I got two sides to this shit. Right. But then you were like, I cannot let my black half down. Exactly. And I'm gonna go all in. Exactly, like the white man was talking for a minute and then he said, any amount, any amount of money.

And Black South was like, you gonna take that nigga? You gonna do that shit? You don't let him just clown you like that? I'm like you don't take that nigga. You don't do that Yeah, I'm just clowning like that. I'm like fuck that new man. All right, but you committed you committed hell Yeah, dude, I fucking I went to go. What's it called? Um to that coach. Yeah Mr. Jasper motherfucker train me a former pro, right? Wasn't he a pro? He was a like international player or something? Yeah, he was fuck was he's a Danmark or some shit, but yeah, he was like 3v3 pro or something. Yeah And yeah, he was great. But I mean I told him as soon as I met him. I'm like look man I got no fundamentals. I got no

Nothing just show me like one thing that I could do and I'll just do that be honest be honest when I asked Yeah, yeah, how did you describe your opponent to him? I told him to watch. I told him to look. You're like here's a white guy. He's kind of... He's an old ass white guy. Yeah. I was like... Well, cause he watched like yo, he was invested man. He got super invested into the show. So he found the show. He saw the whole thing. And then he told me stuff where he's like, God, I forget what he said what he said but he was like yeah the way that he talked about backing you up and then like lobbing it or something she's like people don't say that like he said he was he played in college he did not play in college he's lying so I

think I think you might have a chance well I think what I do I think what Ryan was saying that was that he he didn't claim to play on a like a college team is that he played basketball in In other words, you know for the school, but it was just like part of his you mean like I mean like he played in the gym Like yeah, yeah like pickup games. Yeah, it's a weird way to say that but yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, I think when you say I played in college that usually kind of means right, right if somebody goes I played in college They're they're saying right. It's like I got you got you got and that's why I understood I'm like, you know any amount of money I get it like especially after I really did start to learn the game I'm like shit. All right, like real talk though. If he was some did you play any more after that? No, not worse

That was it. Not once. Yeah, that was your mission. Yeah, man. I don't like basketball. It's a good It is still it was such a fun day. It was such you don't swim in studio to try it clear I don't swim either but I guess what I'll beat you in some laughs to Nick Let's get it Ryan you are the Ryan that everyone's talking about so Do you want to comment on anything that's been being said here? Can we push the button big man about so do you want to comment on anything that's been being said here? I'm sitting in my office listening to everything he's saying. I'm sitting in my office listening to everything he's saying he's just lying left and right. Yes he's good at that by the way we also discussed one of the things we'll get to is that Annie's a huge liar. Go ahead Ryan. Can be. Can be. He also lied saying that he wasn't training he wasn't

doing anything. I never said that I never said it. I but I did what did you say? I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything No one said anything about training or not training. No, I asked you what you were doing. You said nothing No, you did not. When did you ask me that was it on the show? No, you can't be trusted So anything I'm saying was it on the show? No, it wasn't on the show exactly. I work with you all day Unfortunately, I talked to you a lot. You never You never asked I'm forced to you never forget about that. Okay, you saying that I played in college I would have never said I played in college. Oh, I'm pretty sure we have that on tape to find it I'll give you a thousand dollars of my own money. Oh my god right now. I'll give you I

Well, I don't have a way to look it up right now, but Well, I think you did say that though no, I didn't know if I'm going to be able to get up right now, but I look afterwards. You have a thousand reasons to go find it. You have a thousand reasons to go find it. I think you did say that though. No I did not. But wait a minute, here's the thing though. Because we can get into the semantics of this. Are you saying that he was like, I played basketball when I was in college? Or I played college ball?

I definitely didn't say I played college ball, because that'd be a straight lie and anyone could look it up. But I also didn't say that I played in college. I played in high school. You know what I will that I played in college. I played in high school. But you know what I will? I do remember him saying he played in high school. I do remember that. That's very different.

Yes, maybe what happened was that maybe Tom said that you did, and so I was like, that's where I heard it. Blame it on Tom, okay. Either way, I definitely heard that because he, the coach was saying that like that had to be like. Why don't you play me again now that I'm actually back in shape, my knees are blown out. That's what I was gonna ask.

Yeah. Whoa. Nigga, please. No. Mom, please. It's easy. Nigga, please. Wait, wait.

Why? What does that mean? Translate that for us. What does that mean? It means no. No. How about one? But can I ask?

Man, I didn't get paid, nigga. No. No, you chose not to get paid. You chose not to. No, I'm chosen not to. Chose what? What happened with the hair? You could have had a long locks of hair.

What you mean? What you mean? You got scared. You got scared. What attention is that? Nigga, you said any amount of money. What happened? No, you just wanted hair transplant. What happened? No, no could have had a long locks of hair what you mean you got scared What's in there? You said any amount of money weapon? No you wanted hair transplant. No no I want to give it after you got I wanted 10 G's and y'all were like that's an irresponsible amount of money It's irresponsible for you to say any amount of money 10 G's

10 G's 10 G's baby 10 G's even my head's about if you if you win a rematch hell No, I know rematch 10 G's you wouldn't do it for $10,000 I already already won $10,000 We're doing another one so I could also not get paid for that was the bet for her implants or $10,000 It was for hair implants. It was for 10 No, it was for 10 and then and then y'all said that it was irresponsible and then we had to change the amount But wait a minute. It was for hair For was hair but see what I'm saying is we went to that because-

No, and then you chickened out because you heard that there was little blood, little micro needles, and you're like, oh, that scares me. Yes, you got scared. We remember. Exactly what I remember. You don't remember saying that you wanted this hair and that the hair thing was all set up?

What I'm saying is, well, how this started was he's like, name any amount of money and that I was sitting in this chair and he texted him that and I said nigga 10 G's and then you were agreeing and it was like okay well you are you were saying Tom that like well look that's an irresponsible amount of money maybe we should do something else so you forced y'all forced me to come up with something else so I was like I don't know the only thing I could think of is hair, I guess. We gotta review the tape.

Okay. Because I don't remember, I don't remember the conversation going that way. I remember asking, what do you want? And he goes, I'd like to have hair. I, that's what, yeah. I don't remember that. And I remember setting up all the hair stuff too.

Yeah. We were gonna send you to Turkey and everything. No, I remember that. Listen, I'm not saying I didn't at a point, like agree to that. I'm just saying that that's not what I originally bet. Well, why don't you know? But wait, you're saying bet you're what you guys bet each other that amount

I he said any amount of money, but I think I think that should be no problem I could use a nice would you say like a nice fucking pool with some shit? Yeah, I think the reason that that that was that was shot down was that Even though you won. Yes, you did the idea that a boss He's he's your employer could take $10,000 if you had lost did feel like it's like an abuse So do so two things number one Don't say any amount of money then okay

I was when you're making a bet if you're gonna say that you better own up to it number two I chose the money. I'm gonna chose we do we do we do you're not wrong, but we didn't shake hands on $10,000 That's my point sure we started yes We started as going like art in amount of money and then to Tom's point We settled on something that would be entertaining not only for us But something that you wanted and also something that felt like more of a bet You did say seemed thrilled at the hair idea I thought yeah again

I thought that that might have been a cool thing because again you were forced to me to come up with something else I'm like look I like money. I want money I don't I don't fucking want anything else, but fine if I had to think of something okay It's like all right fuck it. I guess the hair okay, but then but then yeah Once it was in my face. It's like nigga. I do think I think you should rematch. Yeah, I want to man I'll put ten thousand dollars in cash on the table. Oh Okay I'll put it on the table

I'm chillin you you killed me last you destroyed me. Why would you want to play again? Yeah, cuz I don't like basketball I already beat you, but what about swimming swimming? Hold on. What about swimming? Right before Ryan came in, you said... That's so crazy too. You already... Man, you already gave it an L. Like how many L's you want in your last name, dog? Two L's, now you got three. Ryan Hollalala. You want to be high, Ryan Hollalalala. That's what you want to be after that.

How many L's you want, nigga? My knees are back in shape. I'm now much stronger than you, so come on, let's go. Oh. What about laps, swimming laps? Any of you said it right before you came in that you would swim laps. You would learn to swim and swim laps.

See you in a little bit. I'm excited to kick off my UK and Ireland tour this weekend. I'll be in Dublin this Saturday, March 15 at 3 Arena. Belfast for two shows at Waterfront Hall on March 16. First show is sold out, we added a second show, Manchester at AO Arena March 19, London at OVO Arena Wembley March 20, Glasgow at OVO Hydro March 21,

Nottingham at Motor Point Arena March 22, Cardiff at Utilita Arena March 23, go get your tickets at tomscigurra.com slash tour. I'll see you there, mate. They say money can't buy you happiness. That might be true, but money sure can make you feel a lot of other things like stressed, guilty, overwhelmed. That's because when you're not in control of your money, your money can control you. Today's episode is sponsored

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Paid non-client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier one compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns advisors, LLC, and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash ymh. If you're like me, your mornings follow a familiar routine with coffee being essential.

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you said about basketball yeah let's do it. Do you want to swim? Will you swim laps for 10 G's and neither of you has to give it up. I'll give it up However, I would if I don't have to pay for the coach this time. I paid thousands of dollars for this I'll pay for the swimming coach, too I'll pay for a swimming coach and I'll put the 10 grand up and I'll give it to whomever wins And I won't have a swimming coach You won't? No, I don't need one. Okay. This is amazing. I won't have a swimming coach. You won't? No, I don't need one. Okay. Can't need one. This is fucking sweet.

This is amazing. I won't either. I only did because I figured you would. But you don't know how to swim. It's your fault. Because you figured I wouldn't know. Wait, do you not know how to swim? He's blind.

Not like that. They don't know how to swim. It ain't about not knowing. It's about not choosing to swim. Maybe you need a swim instructor to learn first and then not a coach. We'll both cease the coaching. I'll figure that shit out.

Let him figure it out. Let him figure it out. Yeah, let him figure it out, yeah. Every water. I've invited any two. He does not come surprise We planned a boat trip together he's like I'll help you pay for it and then he just didn't come Didn't show up he's like oh overslept and we talked about I went on the boat. No the day No, you didn't not for my birthday. Not for the birthday But for the boat you rented I went to the lake with y'all Did he yes Okay, okay, all right

Well, we will continue this let's move to the next thing here because this is Nothing gives me more joy besides watching that take place. It's the best. Than upsetting and horrifying someone. And me and Ivory. Stavros came on. Yes.

This was episode 7-11. And we showed him Norm's famous poutine. And it was one of my favorite things I've ever seen. This was so great. Cheese. No. Better better. Cheese.

No. You better change the recipe. No, I don't want to change the recipe. Cheese one. Freaking stresses me out too. Fries, cheese. No. Pig shit.

And pig piss. Ooh, it's pig shit, and pig piss. Ooh, it's gonna be a treat. No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Ready?

This guy's cocking a little fucking thing. We got a little cage. No! He paces through the cage. Yeah. Which, it's in his urethra, so I don't know how he's... Oh! Oh! Oh, fuck. No, dude. Shall we just mix that around? Through the cage yeah, which it's any as your e-thrush. I don't know how What's this? No! No! No! No!

No! Fuck! No! Fuck, dude, that's disgusting. That fucking sucks so much. Oh my god. Why did it come out so fast? Why did it come out so fast? So gross!

Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! I literally... I don't even gag easy, dude! The engine is fucked up! No, it... I don't want to watch me then! Don't eat it, Norm, please!

I beg you, Norm! Don't eat it, Norm, please. I beg you, Norm, don't eat your own shit. No. Look at this gooey turd. Oh my God. Oh, so bad. Oh, good.

Oh, shit. Oh, so bad. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. I'm gonna fucking die. Why the fuck did it come out so fast? Okay. Why it was. That was just. Oh god, it stressed me out to re-watch that.

I know, it's also getting me primed for why I'm age live. I just realized we're gonna get more treats like this. Did you get the zing of excitement? Yes. Yeah, I know. Because every time that heavy segment starts, I'm like, ooh. These clips get me so jazzed. I might get sick here in a second, yeah.

That's why I think you and I are team jeans. May I take this moment to just promote my lipsticks? This is a perfect moment. Perfect time, yeah. Go ahead guys, buy your lipsticks at ChristinaP.com. Today I'm wearing Madison, which is just like a light mauve sensation. And then I have Atomic Red, the Perfect Red, and Berlin, ChristinaP.com.

Buy all four at the same time for your lady or for your gentleman, gentleman that wears lipstick. By the way, I'm working on a new piece of art. For fuck's sake. It's really good. Look at that. Beautiful. Stop buying her art.

No, it's taken on a life of its own. People are now sending us art based on my art, like famous art. Yeah, that's right. It's great. It's really a movement. The choke. Anyway, that was an amazing time, with Stavros. It was incredible. Soon after that, by the way, it finally happened. It was something that we were all anticipating.

We didn't know if it would ever happen, and that's when Garth Brooks blocked me, finally, on Instagram. You, by the way, the great fans, the listeners, and viewers of this program are the ones who got Garth to eventually go private on his Accounts he restricted all comments at some point because you literally took over all of his social media destroyed Everywhere that it exists destroyed it you destroyed it It was it was incredible that that it happened

But it started with him blocking certain people restricting comments You destroyed it. It was incredible that it happened, but it started with him blocking certain people, restricting comments. I got a few times where I had comments in there and they would get liked and commented on. And then it just, it all went to shit. He just refused to allow anybody in. He eventually, it happened on Instagram,

then you guys went over, took over his Facebook, his Twitter. He basically realized there was nowhere safe. And so that was really exciting. He's breaking down the walls between us. He's breaking down the walls between you and me. And then he thought better of it. And episode 725 something, which also is appropriate for this week, which is that we had Dan Soder on. Dan Soder is not just an incredible comedian, and he's super talented in many regards.

He also does what many people think is the best impression of Dave Chappelle. Yes. He can actually, he really sounds like him. Yes. And he just, he sounds like him, and he also has the, like, not just the cadence down, but he'll speak the way, like things he would say.

It's pretty fucking impressive. That's really cool. What's the, I haven't heard you do it, but you do a good Chapelle? Oh yeah, we prank phone called Chapelle on Legion of Skanks. You called him? No, we prank phone, sorry, we prank phone called a news, a Fox News producer that thought Louis J. Gomez had given her

Dave Chappelle's number, but he had given her Dave Smith's number. It's on YouTube, and it's part of the episode, but I was just at home playing video games, and they were like, hey, can you call this lady as Dave Chappelle? And she fucking bit, dude. She bit hard.

And it was like, I was trying to just keep talking about how important Louis was to comedy. So that I would just add different things in where I'd be like, I've heard he's got a very dangerous foot finish. I wouldn't show you toes if I was around him. And she was like, oh my God, I think I was wearing open-toed sandals.

I was talking to Chappelle. That's great, man. That's amazing. Were you always doing him? I was, I mean, I'm she was talking to Chappelle. That's great, man. That's amazing. Were you always doing him? I mean, I'm a massive Chappelle fan. In 2012 at The Cellar, I got blackout drunk and hung out with him.

And I was telling him old bits he hadn't done on any specials, and I think it freaked him out. And I've stayed away from him ever since. Ever since then. Because I felt that moment where I was like, I think this is a lot. Too much, man. I was like, I think, I think this is a lot. I was like, do you remember you used to you the what white people eat? It was so much longer.

And he was like, man, you know, my bits better than I do. But he did have I had the coolest moment possibly ever in stand up. Speaking of cigarettes at the cellar that night, he got off stage and he come and he came and hung out at the table. And he was sitting next to me holding a Cigarette and I was like I always want to know what kind of cigarettes I've been like I've been going to see you since I was 16 Yeah, I just want to know what kind of cigarettes you smoke and he was like, oh I smoke American spirits Yeah, I was like this is we're at the table at the olive tree. Yeah inside and I go. Oh you want to smoke cigarette

and he goes smoke right here and I go well I Oh, you want to smoke a cigarette? And he goes, smoke right here. And I go, well, I can't, because I need this place for rent. But you're Dave Chappelle, you can smoke here if you want to. And he goes, you can't if Dave Chappelle likes you cigarette. And I looked at Esty and Esty went like that.

I took, and I swear to God by the third drag, every waiter and bartender was staring at me like, fucking soda gets to smoke inside. But I was like, this is fucking unbelievable. And I took a couple hits and I put it in the ashtray and Testy was like, thank you. I did, when I did, what was it, the after, yeah, the after party

of the Brady roast, we went up to the lounge inside and we're in What's it called? What's the venue there? The the forum we're in the forum. Yeah, so we're at the forum club I guess and it's just it's the party and I see Dave and he he's like he's like a man, you know let me get a cigarette and I give it to him and I was like Same kind of thing. I was like we could smoke it here. He's like, hey man, let me get a cigarette. I give it to him and I was like, same kind of thing, I was like, we can smoke in here. He was like, so I was like, yeah, cool.

So I light one up with him and then the bartender's like, you can't smoke here. And I was like, okay. And I just turned to Dave, I was like, they said we can't smoke here and he was like. I was like, I'll put this out when you put it out Yeah, it's like I'll put it out when it's done. Okay, cool Great. Yeah, I like chuffed on that thing cuz I kind of felt bad cuz I was like, please and then I just waited until He was done smoking well because there is a level of Celebrity like you're gonna tell Dave Chappelle. It's the top tier level. You're gonna tell Dave, it's like you're gonna tell

Tom Cruise to put the secret out. No they won't, well they kinda do. That's the thing is the guy didn't tell Dave, he told me. Yeah. He's like you can't smoke here and I was like. But that's why he's like fuck I don't give a shit. He's right there. It's wild.

And also watching that Dan Soderclip makes you realize like when you meet your idol, when you meet your hero, there is nothing cool to say. Like you cannot talk about how much you love them because it's not gonna work, it's never gonna work. You have to talk about anything else except the shit that they've done as like an artist or whatever. You can't, you just can't, you can't dork out on them.

Yeah, it's, but the cool thing is though that he actually has a great, he still has a great memory of it. Of course. You could have, I met my hero and it's a fucking disaster. Oh wait, no. And that wasn't that. That's why I don't wanna meet Robert Smith from The Cure.

Oh for fuck's sake, Robert Smith. But if you wanted to dress like Robert Smith. Oh stop. I can't believe you would even want to see something like that. Robert, I mean, hey, he doesn't look good. He doesn't, he does. He's still beautiful.

This is how women are different though. I love Robert. Is that you guys can still find someone attractive. Yeah. Even if it's not looking that great. Yeah, because you know why? We have souls and we're not superficial shitheads. I know. You guys are the worst, men are the worst. Yeah, we are like, I don't give a fuck about our soul. Yeah, you know why we have souls and we're not superficial Shitheads, I know you guys are the worst men are the worst. Yeah, we are like, I don't give a fuck about her

Yeah, here's a word. What's up with that tits itch? Yeah, let me leave this family and go bang a 20 year old yoga instructor. See so hot. He's cute I love him forever forever. Okay, that's what you want. Yep, dude. He's so cool, too I get that he's cool. Yeah, he is cool. He's rad. But I mean, I think he's a solid citizen too. Is he wearing the perfect red? Of course he is. It was based on Robert Smith's red, the perfect red.

I should send him some. Do you like his voice? Love his voice. What course, what are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah, he's Robert Smith. He's like the father of all this. I love him.

I love him. Yeah, he's definitely wearing a lot of this. I love him. I love him. He's definitely wearing a lot of lipstick there. Eyeliner? Adorable, of course. You wanna see me in eyeliner? Do I? Oh for fuck's sake. I'd love to, black eyeliner.

Let's move on. The next episode that I think is notable, our former producer, Nadav, passed away. That was super sad. Yeah, yeah. He was, I think think eating a dreidel. And then he, um, just... Yeah.

...fell down. Mm-hmm. But... Rest in peace, Nadav. I hope you're okay. Up in heaven. Um, it's just really sad. Um, that he's dead. I know.

I miss him. I miss him too. Look at those tits I used to have. Yeah, you guys have big tits there. Those are my OG tits, yeah. God, they were big. Yeah. When I was at my house and I was like,

why do I feel sad? This is weird. And I was really sad to lose Nadam. You've been in our lives like, yeah, since 2016, since the birth of our first child, but you were like our first retarded son. We do have a lot of great memories of you and we've actually put together a little video. Oh is this this is either gonna make me cry or mad what's what's gonna happen?

No I think you'll like it. It's nice. I think we should all watch this together. Oh my god. My name is Nadav Itzg good I am a producer here at why mage studios get ready to have a good fun show in hummett shallow You don't think he's okay. You think he went to work the next day. I think he's totally fine You can't get too much come in those balls you get Wow You can't get too much cum in those balls, you get too much cum in your bladder. Wow. What amount of money would you pay to permanently hurt you? I don't want to permanently hurt you, I want to do it.

You just want to hurt me bad? One. Have you ever fallen in love with a dog? Yes. What were the attributes that person had that made you fall in love? I think it was talking shit to me. You surround yourself with such broken words. What is your favorite movie?

So the story is about Nick Cannon. Oh my god. He's a nice piece of shit. You got a nice haircut. Oh yeah. I threatened to show you somebody getting very severely hurt. Yeah I don't like those dude. Me neither.

That's the hardest I've ever heard Nadal laugh. That's the hardest I've ever heard Nadal laugh. I am a fucking Jewel! More times I'm not a fan of this J shit. What's your new name gonna be? Patty- Patty O'Callaghan. Let's get Nidav baptized. The fun bit.

You need some up dog. What's up dog? Hamash, what's up with you dog? You're fucking dead. You wanna kill him. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just an outside dog who keeps shitting inside. You deserve it all.

The kicks, the screams, the blood. Look, and he's having such a good time. Look how happy you made him. The dog's too bad. Why does he have a job? This guy's got all his arms. He's got a good band. Woo! Oh Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's not very good.

It's not a good movie. It's not a good movie. And I love Nick Cannon, I like the idea. It's stupid. Number two, remember when we were in the recita, it was during COVID, and it was hard to come by getting the vaccine. And you had to be a certain weight

to be considered morbidly obese to get the vaccine early. And he was like, I'm working on my vaccine weight. I'm gonna become morbidly obese to get the vaccine. I remember that. I'm in a gain phase right now. He made me laugh so much. How you doing? How's your weight?

He's like, I'm almost there. God bless him. Rest in peace. Rest in peace, Nadav. Miss him. Oh, peace. Rest in peace, Nadav. There's a, oh, another one that was fantastic. And I ended up meeting her was, remember the coffee girl? Of course. Yeah, so the-

Sweetest. Oh my God. That was also in the last hundred where she came in here because we had read comments where people were- that's where hate from came. Hate from Australia. Hate from all these places in the world. That was just like unbelievable that we, and then I actually, she came to Austin, she came in studio. I went to the gym with her.

She was really, really sweet. And she's in Toronto. She has her coffee business, but that was- The sweetest. Yeah, was it Caitlin? Caitlin, she's so sweet. And her coffee's fantastic. And she the sweetest. Yeah. Was it Caitlin? Caitlin. She's so sweet and her coffee's fantastic. And she just made like sincere videos. Like, this is how I start my day. People were like, I hate you. Waking up. Yeah. It's just so sweet. So innocent.

It was really crazy, man. There she is. Sweet. Here's coffee for living. Let's get this day started on the right note and head to the gym. I love getting up bright and early like this when it's still dark. The world is still asleep. It's quiet. It really feels feels like a life hack like you're getting extra hours in your day So I love waking up early and getting some work in gonna do some boxing and some benchpress I am super weak. So we got to build some strength here following the gym. It is coffee time, baby We're gonna start making a hot latte for Papa Street Brew

Even though I have converted him to iced espressos But we're gonna make an iced espresso for me do do a little outfit change and outfit check for a video that we're going to post. And then it's time to sit in the office, do a couple calls and do some work. Bonus points, find some clients you can talk sneakers with on your calls, because I mean, that's the best way to do things, right? After spending most of the morning in Zoom calls and doing some admin work, it's time to start filming some content and making some more coffee. So we're going to do some drip coffee, some pour overs, some espresso stuff as well.

I think we get it. A couple other little things. So it was that, this is like that vlog cadence that also people wanted to die with. Yeah. Yeah, please delete your account. Yeah. People would say such mean shit to her,

but she ended up being of course, like the sweetest person. The nicest, probably one of the sweetest guests we've ever had. Hate from Australia. Then we had, that was so funny. She was delightful. We had a run of some incredible guests that came in.

Jesse Lee Peterson came in. Oh my God. Then Gene Simmons. And then Will Blunderfelt, one of the coolest guys. So many gets this year. Oh my God, it was just like. Just like the gays. Just like the gays. Just like the gays.

How much fun was Gene Simmons too? I mean, he really came. If you love your penis, your stop is team build up. I mean, well. That's also true. Will changed my life. Like getting to meet him in person and feel his aura and to feel his love and presence.

I just think he's such a special human being. He is a special human being. He's really amazing. Um, then shortly thereafter, ICP came on. Now, one of the building blocks, the foundations of this show, if you don't know, is. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

And we have always done. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Supercuts, right? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I don't know what you'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Supercuts, right? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I don't know what you're saying. I'm like Mitch, you know what I'm saying?

And these guys came in, or not these guys, sorry. At this time, wasn't it just the, was it both? No, it was both. Maybe it was both. Shaggy. That's right, because the first time it was just one. Well, they came in and we got to do, after their appearance, excuse me, the maybe the super cut of super cuts,

which was a, you know what I'm saying, super cut from these guys that was just unbelievable. They dropped so many, you know what I'm saying, that we had to spend hours going through this and putting together, by the way, this supercut of, you know what I'm saying, doesn't even have all the, you know what I'm saying. They had to like whittle it down just to get the proper, you know what I'm saying, supercut going. So we have that for you. Oh my God. You know what I'm saying? It's because of his hair and shit. You know what I'm

saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? As a stripper or anything. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? But you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

So you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So you know what I'm saying? That's what you're saying? Unbelievable. Wow. That was, yeah, that was really.

You know what I'm saying? Super cuts of you know what I'm saying? Super cuts. I don't think you can make another one after that. No. That episode was explosive. We also got that supercut. But don't forget, that's where we learned that going airtight is gay. It is, according to some. It's a sum.

Yeah. I mean, that's, you know, airtight really was a thing that we really wanted to dig deep in. We've had conversations with people who had had three somethings and we thought, what more could you want? And it turns out one more is what you want sometimes. And so some women opt for every hole to be plugged. And through that conversation, it led to us meeting Airtight Abby. And Abby called into the show and she gave explicit details about her exploits. And she was a very adventurous person. Was Abby the one where she went and she had sex with all the black guys?

That's the one. On the team? Yeah. That is the one. That was wild. Then she told another story that sex with all the black guys. That's the one. On the team, yeah. That is the one. That was wild. Then she told another story that kind of made us all sad. But yeah, I think she met a guy at the club and she took him back to the, or went back to his place and then eventually people started walking out

of the apartment and they're like, can I get in on this? She was sure, but Airtide Abbey was, yeah. Yeah, what a find. It was such a cool story. Well, because you and I couldn't on this? She was like, sure. But Airtide Abbey was, yeah. It was really, it was such a cool story. Cause you and I couldn't believe that people did it in real life. Cause it sounded so incredible. It sounds like such, you know, adult film-like. Yeah.

Like just a fantasy, you know, not real. Who gets to do that? And she was like, no, I did it, I did it. This generation, boy, they get it all. They get it all. Airtide Abbey. Airtide. Really, really sweet girl.

I had the opportunity to meet her and... You did. You don't remember that? No. Oh yeah, I didn't. You didn't go airtight on her? No, I didn't. I didn't, no.

There was an option to meet her somewhere and... I didn't. You were like, no thanks. No, I believe you said no thanks. I was like, don't you mean airtight Abby? Yeah, that's how that't you mean airtight? Yeah Yeah, just a jealous lady no She's I'm sure she's I'm sure she's a sweetheart, but the best moment with these two the ICP guys are the best

Yeah, I was like you guys don't go airtight with each other. He's like what no no, that's gay There's so many crazy things that happened, obviously, over these years. But another thing is that we had our suspicions, but we had learned that our very own technical director, Eni, is a really high-level sociopath. Yeah.

Because, I don't know if I'd describe it like that. Fartgate 2024 was such a revelation. I've never seen, like the episodes of the first 48 that I've seen all made more sense when Eni was pressed with a crime because he was so believable. It was just insane. And it turned out he was just a huge fucking liar.

He's a good liar. Good one. Because I was siding with him for years. I've been on any side, not anymore, bro. Fool me once. I did nothing. I know, that whole time I was like, you know how fucking crazy AI is these days.

I was like, man, what does Chad have against him? Like it was just crazy to me. And what Chad had against him is that, and he's a fucking liar. He's a liar. And Chad was right. Chad was just being an honest good boy. And the whole staff was like, yeah.

And he was like, man, these motherfuckers are all lying. Yeah. This is crazy. Do you realize like we have him on tape farting and then he has the audacity to deny it to his bosses and then to millions of people who watch this program. That is other level sociopathy. It was huge.

Which is exactly why you're employee of the month. And he also, he did this crazy reveal. You belong here. Where like, remember the video played and I thought we were gonna. Yeah, exonerate him. Yes. And it was just like, haha, video played? And I thought we were gonna up. Yeah, exonerate him. Yes, and it was just like, ha ha, I got you guys. Well.

This guy is nuts. He's out of his fucking mind. And here's the- I don't know who made that shit, man. It's ridiculous. Okay, we don't believe you. Did he deny it even after he showed that video? Didn't he bring it up at the Christmas party, Tom?

I'm still denying it. I'm still denying it. Denying it to your face right now. Yeah. That's such a creature. I wouldn't do that, bro. Bro, look at AI, bro. We don't know what the fuck is real anymore.

I didn't do shit. It's not that good. And I don't know who hired that shit, but it's ridiculous, man. But I saw it with my own eyes. I'm done with it. I don't see an AI. Is this when we first saw this video?

Is that what this is? No, this is the video that you're talking about. The surveillance? The surveillance or his reveal? This is his reveal. Yeah, let's see. I forgot some of it actually. Yeah, blocked it out. Traumatic.

What the fuck? Is that you? I think Eni just farted into the mic. Oh my god, this is crazy. This is fucking crazy. I think any just parted into the mic Hey you're talking over the video Is that real is? What what happened there any what do you mean the bro? It's all narrated. This is what Chad does He's a fucking he's Chad does. He's a fucking

documentary he's a fucking documentary film professor In what way did I narrate this you put the text on the thing? It's black video you play the transcribing the actual audio Yeah, but you're what you're doing is setting it up so that it makes sense to your story But it's a not true story. You know it just fucking putting it out So was that fart did that fart happen in that moment or no? Yes, I mean see the thing about these is like I don't remember. I don't even know what recording that was yes He does here's the thing he went in and deleted this audio But what he doesn't know is that I back up the audio onto a separate hard drive

Yeah, so you just happen to have the footage that both you edited and this backup. Zolo, you don't remember this day? Is your- I think I need to stay a neutral party in this matter until all the evidence been presented. Okay, but you did hear yourself in there. Yeah, I was there.

Yeah, but your honor, I feel like because we didn't see the conversation that any has a good point like anybody can go You can just play a fart you play the fun Yeah, and then he could have had them be actors I'm standing create a moment and cougar would say holy any fart for no reason I'm not something maybe he wrote the script and then they recorded it over. I don't think that that Okay, so this yeah this if you to watch this and you don't immediately have more respect for what law enforcement goes through

They have to deal with this shit lying time. Yeah, like he professional like professionals No, that's that's part of being a good criminal is like and post script to this whole thing now Any apparently just farts with reckless abandon. Oh yeah, of course. All the time. Yeah, he's a psycho. Do you take credit for the farts now? What farts, bro? Oh my God.

Put me on tape, fam. Get me on tape, please. We had it on tape. Get me on live. You put yourself on tape doing it. No, I didn't, that was AI, bro. Okay. You know how good AI is these days.

This is crazy, man. It's compulsive. Yeah. He cannot help himself with the lies. You can't help yourself, can you, you sicko? Fartgate was a... Fartgate, and then the lying about what the bet was on the last thing we talked about,

like, oh, he said it was 10, or any amount of money. Oh, then this is him right here, just going... Yeah. Like, where is that? That ain't my house. That ain't what my house looks like. We'll see you next week. Bye, Mommy.

Buck it up. Okay, okay. Did you fart. Buck it up. You know. Did you fart? No. Who farted? Did you hear a fart? Wow. Jesus.

Yep. Because you always talk about how disrespectful it is, like all the time. You're like, it's so disrespectful to fart and fart. He loves that line. Yeah. like the level of disrespect man. What's this accent? Hey yo. Hey yo. He's like hey man. Hey man. We disrespect brother like that. Shit ain't nice. This is crazy. This reminds that

right there that what we just saw. If that doesn't remind you of Presumed Innocent, the incredible debut of Edward Norton as an actor with Richard Gere, where he's accused of killing that priest, and then he's like, he's all fuckin', you know, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta, the whole movie, and then at the end he's like, ha-ha, convinced them all, didn't I?

And you're like, oh my fuckin' God. It was exactly like that. Give him his Oscar. Give him his Oscar. Give him his Oscar or just sentence him, sentence him to 25 years in prison. Because that's a fucking career criminal right there. What is he doing in his off time? Don't you think if he's lying this much to his employers? He's probably doing foot job review videos. I don't know.

Crazy, crazy. Yep. Typical. Typical, typical. Typ typical what typical any mm-hmm usual suspects hey I stood up for you you saw it on tape man you were part of the bit you were part of the band. Oh, eventually.

Yeah. He told he admitted. Sorry. I forgot to tell you that part. Yeah. What up now, bro? Because I was like, any they're totally because we were off. This is off camera.

I was like, any they're totally they're totally getting up on you. Is this true? Like I was so doe eyed and I came up to him and he was like, yeah, and I was like, what? And I was shattered. Right. Do you, what? And I was shattered, right? Do you remember that day? I was fucking shattered. I'm kind of shattered now that you were in on it. I was shattered.

I was heartbroken and then I was like, let's keep fucking with Tom now. I forgot, sorry, I blocked it out. You just remembered right now. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Just like that time when you left town

and I put a hole in the wall to get the hamster out of the wall. I was behind you at dinner. It's two sneaky things I did this year to you. Jesus Christ. Sorry. And then there's a last year. Chris Larsen's video came in.

Ice cold Pepsi. Cheers. He's the only Pepsi guy here. Yeah, crazy. Nobody likes Pepsi except for Chris. It's so Broughto I Don't care if it kills me you should I just said drink water See quit smoking. Fuck that. I do what I want. It kills me, kills me.

You got free will. You can do that. Those are big gulps too. I have new patches even though I get diabetes. Give a fuck. Dr. Cedric Waldo. Fuck that. Yeah, but I would see people like him in radiation.

They don't hold up very well after treatment for these things. You don't want to start your life that way. It's crazy. You know, we've been sharing those haircut things. Oh my gosh, you and I have been passing each other these videos, these awful haircut videos. It's so much fun.

You know Andy Milonakis, right? Yes, of course. So he's been around forever. He still looks 13 or whatever He's done a lot of funny shit, but I saw this He's in Italy Hello, how you doing you guys have any appointments open for tonight? Yeah Okay, thank you so much. How did your hair cut?

Well, I just got a haircut like a couple days ago, but they didn't cut enough. I want to keep it shaggy, but maybe a little less fluff. Maybe like three or four inches in the back, check. Do you have a full cut? It's still really shaggy in the front, but it's not really long in the back. What is your job? My job is to be a clown so wait so he's he's in Italy clearly like walks into a place tells him what he

wants Oh My god Bella He's like your beautiful woman He gave her the fucking middle-aged administration lady at a public high school. Terrible cut. And he thought it was a lady. I like when he sees it, he goes, hmm, this is interesting. Sucks so bad.

Oh my god. Hmm. Hmm. That's all you can do. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Perfect. Perfect. Nice lady. Mwah.

Mella. Mella. I don't want this fantastic kiss kiss. Oh shit, that made me laugh. That's the worst haircut. Fuck. That's the worst. It's like the helmet. That's so bad. Yeah. It's terrible.

It's the sad lady shut it down fucking haircut. It's the shut it down menopause cut. This is why I stick with the same hairdresser. Alan Martinez, shout out for the last fucking 20 some years. You know one time when I was in England, I couldn't see Alan. Yeah. And I went in to get a haircut and I was like just like a bob like I've always had a bob Just give me like a shorter bob. Okay. Yeah this fucking cut rag

Cut my hair like meow like though like so like a mushroom Meow like this fucking short. The thing you don't realize it to you see how much hair informs It's everything like this looks like a sad lady He didn't know that was a boy crazy Even the prettiest old lady bellissima you are sexy still don't let anybody tell you you are not But also very rare that they straighten out curly hair, unless you say, I want straight hair. He's naturally wavy.

Yeah. They should have cut the hair wavy. It's crazy. OK. That's so upsetting. You remember a few weeks ago, we were all, the whole world was really taken by this, right? Hitler, hell and the Nazis, I really don't think that he was

because I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy based upon my own research, not my own. It's always your own research. I didn't fucking listen to it. So he's, we were all like, this is the last we're gonna see of Bryce Mitchell. It's not. Thank God.

He is out there and he- Keep going, Bryce. The best thing is that this begins with what you believe is Okay. Um, and I think nobody's gonna disagree once I explain it. I stated that you can prove the earth don't rotate because you can take a helicopter hovered 20,000 feet for 24 hours and come back down in the same spot. Everybody said, Oh, a helicopter has inertia. I know what inertia is, dude. I'm not stupid. Let me tell you what I mean. Here's a picture of the circle of the earth. Supposedly if you believe in a globe and

the red circle is the helicopter. When the helicopter ascends above the earth's surface, it now has a larger flight path around the earth as in when the earth the inside brain just black circle it one full rotation? The red circle or the flight of the helicopter actually has to cover more distance To get back to the same spot Helicopter can't fly around I don't understand what this fucking hillbilly saying that's what I meant

Okay, if you don't understand geometry of spheres and circles, that's gonna go right over your head. But what I said makes perfect sense. And I'm actually a lot smarter than a lot of y'all think. Some of y'all can't even keep up with me. That's the sad part. This is basic geometry. Some of y'all might not be able to understand what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm one of them. But God bless you and keep doing your own research because there is no proof that the earth rotates. That's a lie from the devil. And keep thinking what you want.

Call me stupid, but I know geometry. I know inertia. An object in motion stays in motion. If I put my foot up your ass, it's going to keep going up your ass. That's what's up. How about that, buddy? Yeah. Ha ha ha. It's cool that his little kid

gets to hear this stuff too. Well, he's gonna get that firsthand education. You know, you gotta do your own research, Tom. It's always good when somebody leads with that. Your own research. Have you done your own research? Like, what, just internet stuff? Like, weird articles?

Nothing about. Life on Earth makes me think that it's round or rotating. Why are they so against the Earth being round? What is that? Because they told us that something they want us. The scientists? Yeah, just trying to get us to fucking believe stupid shit. Is it anti-Christian or something, the Earth being round?

He said the devil at one point. Oh, so Satan's in charge of the roundness of things of the earth. Is that what it is? Maybe that's so weird I don't know why they know he's so content though. That's the thing about being dumb Yeah, that is like it's really I think satisfying is that enviable you believe your own dumb thoughts and then you're so pleased with yourself You know, I thought about that for my whole life Yeah, if I could just be a little dumber, how much happier I'd be. You...

Or maybe a... Yeah. Yeah. Yep. He's not the brightest guy, but yeah. Oh, and it says... Women are stupid. The earth is a circle, Isaiah 40 verse 22, whatever,

made with a compass, yeah, laid upon a face which is bounded as it ends, it does not move, and is covered by a dome, contain, so this is like the biblical conception of cosmology, whatever, it's silly though, this is, I hate. That's my own research. I hate everything. Do your own research, bro.

Do your own research, try your own diagrams, fucking dummy. Do your own research bro. Do your own research. Draw your own diagrams fucking dummy. Do your own research That's that's kind of like the That's usually like the first thing that People who are really dumb. Yeah, they do their own research. I do my own research. What are you talking about? Anyway, I can't I can't Tom Can we can we switch topics here for a moment? I want to dad I've ever known it's a kind of makes you think exactly Stevie I think it is Stevie. Yeah. Yeah. No, he sounds like get my name snake from I Ain't afraid of them

Never have been simple. I was a kid Yeah, this is it. People gets mad. They get over it. You know, they realize stuff later on down the road. Do your own research. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he also had this.

This is another one. What's your issue with seat belts? Seat belts, I think it's just like you get to choose. If you want to wear a seat belt, the government doesn't, you know, they don't wipe my ass for me and they don't, they shouldn't be able to tell me if you want to wear a seatbelt the government doesn't you know they don't wipe my ass for me and they don't they shouldn't be able to tell me if I want to wear a seatbelt. I personally don't like them because I think uh what if you got to jump out of the car and roll you know duck and roll. Okay. Nobody ever thinks about that. Nobody. Um so I don't personally wear a seatbelt but I grew up my mom never wore one um I just don't believe in them

and it's not up to the government to decide if I should wear a seat belt or not So that's just my view on it. That's why I don't wear them But maybe you know, I strap my baby in, you know, I start Tucker in why but I just don't like wearing them I like to maneuver ability Ability it's crazy too when someone this dumb is this good at fighting because he can kick 99% of people's asses on earth. So it's like, you could argue with like the dumbest fucking guy you've ever met

and then he could just kill you. Yeah, yeah. But that's because God only gives you one or two talents tops. You can't be all things. You gotta choose one or two lanes and just stay in your lane. You shouldn't be a podcaster if you're this stupid.

You really can't. I'm glad that he's putting this out there. I feel like this is gonna be a podcaster if you're this stupid. You really can't. I'm glad that he's putting this out there. I feel like this is gonna be a real well of information. If he continues, fuck. I think he's going to. If he gets sponsors. The engagement's gonna be, it has to be crazy for him. Sure.

Of course it's not that positive, but yeah. You do see though that a lot of people are on board with him. There are people who are like, fuck yeah, people trying to tell you that earth rotates The man telling me to wear seat belt Well good for him if you got to stop drop and roll Stop dropping what if the car rolls is he driving like the Jeep with no doors? Tuck and roll

But oh I wanted to get to this so we don't run out of time. Because it is a timely topic and I wanted to go there because the mom world is ablaze with the new Ilaria Hillary Baldwin. Alec Baldwin show. Alec Baldwin show on TLC. Now I haven't watched a full episode,

but I thought we could go through some of the footage. I mean, look how handsome he was when they started together. Dating, yeah. A while ago, yeah. Yeah. Seven children. Seven. Six animals. What?

Two parents. How many nannies? My old family. Why are we eating chocolate? Get off your phone. Okay. Don't pee in that pool. Gross.

What's the matter? Happy face. A son lost his mom in the most unthinkable tragedy. This is never something to forget. Oh, a little Latin there. And we're trying to parent through it. When the world is getting cold, know that I'm your best friend. Honestly, from the bottom of my soul, I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you and these kids. I will leave you. It's okay, just ignore him. We've had bad moments, but we found our foundation.

She says you should look like this. 1980. We're solid and we're here together. Together. Together. We're solid and we're here, but together. We're together. He looks like hot dog shit.

Yeah, I mean he doesn't look the same. He's also, how old is Alec Baldwin? He's gotta be in his 60s, right? Is he in his 60s now? At least. But he was, can I tell you about the great tragedy? He's 66. He's 66 years old. I know, but the great tragedy is how hot he was. I mean, I had such a crush on him as a teenage girl.

He's a movie star. The marrying man, I think. Look him up in that movie, the marrying man. Alec Baldwin, 1989, 1990. Oh my God. Yeah, dude. Kim Basinger, Basinger, the two of them were together. That's right.

God damn, couldn't there be a more attractive couple? Yeah, he's a very good looking guy. Stunning. He was, he played Jack Ryan in that, you know, those, that- With his scarf, this is so cute. Yeah, the whole, all the Baldwin's are hot. Good looking guys, man.

And then I think having seven kids on top of this accident thing must have just aged him in dog years. And he's really good by the way. Not just good looking, he's a really good actor. Yeah. He's done, oh of course, Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice, my favorite.

And he's got a great voice, that gravel voice. Oh yeah, it's like he speaks in like that. Yeah. Yeah. He narrates on that Wes Anderson, the Tenenbaums. Look at that chest, hairy chest, oof. Yeah dog. Yeah, the subway sign.

And right underneath it says Alec Baldwin mistaken as a hobo. Oh, that sucks. You know what that is? That's life. That's how life actually goes. There's a certain link that says hottie Alec and this one says mistaken as a hobo. Mistaken as a hobo.

Yeah, he's got a ref for there. He is with kim basinger in the 80s. Wow. Yeah, but you can't be you know You can't judge the guy For his looks at 66. I can All right I can I mean I know but he's 66. I just think it's bad life decisions I think that having seven children would age anybody. Yeah, of course it would. It's not cool. It's too many kids.

I don't know why you keep having that many kids. It's too many. I know, it's insane. And by the way, how many nannies do they have? Give me a fucking break that it's just the two of them. The 66 year old dad and her, that tiny little. What can a 66 year old dad contribute? He can't do shit.

It's basically grandpa. Of course. It's too much. Yeah, he can't even play. So my friend,. Of course. Yeah. It's too much. Yeah. He can't even play. So my friend, my mom friend. We're all gonna nap. That's what's gonna happen in that. Oh my God.

Oh. Alex Dreadful Reality Show is a new low for TV. Fucking A, man. That bad? Yeah, but that, you know. But they don't like the good stuff we do. Like My Husband Is Not Gay. They probably low reviewed that show too.

I'm SSA. I'm SSA. I'm SSA. They don't know what they're talking about. Don't listen to these motherfuckers. So anyway, my mom friends were texting me, would you like to hear their review? Yeah.

Let me show you what my friend fucking. What are the moms saying out there? In the mom world. Okay, because we keep up on the hilarious. I watched it yesterday, it's on Macs, you have to watch. There are babies crawling up on Ilaria. I watched it yesterday, it's on Max, you have to watch. There are babies crawling up on tables, kids running around screaming, it's a madhouse. It's a madhouse, it's got to be. And then my other mom friend was saying there's this part of the episode where he's complaining to Ilaria that she's the one

in charge of getting the kids going. She's in control of the kids and he's like, I used to have a say And how the kids were I don't have a say anymore and she's like well, yeah, I'm the mom Yeah, and I fucking agree. It's like go work go make the money go do let me deal with the kids Yeah, cuz dads are not wired for that shit. I agree what what meds does juju need to take it? Yeah, right? Whatever you say what size are juju's pants? 16 does Juju need to take it now? Yeah, right. Whatever you say. What size are Juju's pants? Sixteen. You don't know shit.

I know. And that's just most dads, no? It's just our generation, especially Alec Baldwin's generation, he don't know shit about the kids. Yeah. Let him go to work. Yeah.

And let the fake Latin lady run the house. Okay. Women are better at that stuff. I agree. I agree. Guys, this is not for men. Not for straight guys. No, you just go, you run, that's the company. You run that stuff. I agree, I agree. Guys, this is not for men, not for straight guys. You run, that's the company, you run that company. That's right.

We're more, I think the traditional way is fine. Unless you have some fucking beta cuck husband. He doesn't want all that say, nobody does. Nobody, fuck, men don't wanna do it. No. He doesn't wanna raise the kids. People had asked, by the way, they wanted to know the update for the woman hitting my car.

Oh my god. I just wanted to tell you without getting into too much detail, it's being taken care of. Stupid bitch. And by that I don't mean that I'm letting it go. I'm not letting it go and that's how it's being taken care of. Don't you do. So what is this? So we did make some, I don't know if you want to say it or not, but we made a little bit of progress

in your investigation of Brigitte Macron. Yes. And do you want to say that we reached out? You said it. Well, we reached out. To Brigitte? No. Just kidding. To Candace Owens.

Who you said is like the leader in this story. To Brigitte? No. Just kidding. To Candace Owens. Who you said is like the leader in this story. Of course. This is Candace Owens' big moment right now. She is exposed. Brigitte Macron. And as you know, Candace is pregnant right now, so I think flying in might not be doable for her.

But we're arranging a Zoom interview so she can fill us in on this Brigitte Macron thing And i'm telling you the macrons are panicking. They're sending her, you know hundred letter Threats and all this it is real and none of them being like hey Brigitte is a woman stop saying that that's not true. That's they're not even trying to call her out on that is a woman stops yeah that's not true that's they're not even trying to call her out on that no very exciting stuff please do not use gendered language I miss all that we'll find out what the real story is here yeah yeah what's your pronoun what's your product yeah we're not the women they were queering out the dudes that's what happened so hopefully we'll get the full story soon I can't

wait but just let us say this now as we wrap up that it's it has been the most That's what happened. So hopefully we'll get the full story soon. I can't wait. But just let us say this now as we wrap up that it has been the most fun, I think, of our careers that we've gotten to do this show. I never want to stop doing YMH. This is episode 800, and I hope we're doing 800 more of these. It's been a lot of fun. Me too.

And thank you, you guys, for making this possible. Thank you so much. This started as a silly dream in our little house in Silver Lake with a neighbor that made smelly food through the walls. Yeah. And we've moved it to every house we've been to and you guys have come with us

and we really appreciate that. It's been amazing. It's been quite a ride. It's been amazing. We look forward to doing it more and hopefully we'll see many of you on March 7th Ymah studios calm Ymah live is back and Christina Prasetske. Welcome to your Mom's House. I'm out.