Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Tim & Christine Learn About Bimbofication | Your Mom's House Ep. 854

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

The End is Ari's new storytelling show! It's almost here! Premieres April 16 on https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ . Presale pricing only available for a short time! You get 7 full, hour long episodes of completely unfiltered stories for $24.99. Afterwards, the price will increase so get it now! SPONSORS: - Head to https://BlueChew.com to get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code YMH. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://shopify.com Tom Segura and Christina P are back in Studio Jeans for another completely unhinged episode of Your Mom’s House, and this one goes from philosophy class to fake tits in record time. The Main Mommies kick things off by solving the world’s least necessary ethical debate, then dive headfirst into the internet chaos with a wild breakdown of the Kristi Noem husband story involving fetishes, webcam betrayal, and big bimbo boobies. Also in this episode: 80 year old sex symbols, Safety Larry delivering some anxiety-inducing escalator wisdom, Mantak Chia teaches the jeans how to hold testicle and circulate sexual energy, and Tom reveals the kind of fancy gift he gives a fancy chef after a great meal. Plus there’s a hilarious restaurant review, horrifying injury clips, wet floor PTSD, nicotine pouch logic, and a closing stretch of TikToks so deranged it could only live inside the Mommy-Dome. If you're looking for internet weirdos, cool guys, fake boobs, escalator trauma, old-lady thirst, and enough chaotic marriage riffing to keep your jeans high and tight, this ones for you. Your Mom’s House Ep. 854 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:44 - Opening Clip: Incest Is Cool 00:12:52 - Kristi Noem's Husband 00:22:56 - Horny Granny Wants To Spank Tom 00:27:27 - A Fancy Gift For A Fancy Chef 00:30:30 - Fucking Expensive Restaurant 00:32:39 - Clip: Human Water Gun 00:33:20 - International Realtors 00:36:35 - Safety Larry 00:39:38 - Mantak Chia 00:45:21 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:00:11 - Mike The Tax Guy 01:03:58 - Christina's TikToks 01:16:37 - Closing Song - "WTF Is Eco-Sex" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. I'm Tom, aka T. Buns. She's Chrissy, aka Fart Dog. And we are so excited. We have so much ground to cover today. I can't wait to get into all this. One thing I wanted to point out at the very tip-top of this show

is that we here at YMH Studios with this great staff and great production produced The End, Ari Schaefeer. year's new and final storytelling show that is a collection of stories told by incredible comics. And it comes out April 16th. It is on pre-sale right now. The amount of talent on this thing is so phenomenal. He really, he got Nate Bargotsie, Jim Brewer, Christa Stefano, Shane Gillis, Tony Hinchcliff, Jordan Jensen, Robert Kelly, Joe List, Mark Norman, Big J. O'Crison, Miss Pat, Justa Reed, myself, Ari, Ali Sadiq, Steve Simone, Dan Soder, Sam Talat, and so on and so. It was so many great comics. All in that format, if you ever saw Ari's storytelling show that at first he would tour L.A. with. I think he also did it many times in New York. It was a Comedy Central show. This is him doing that, I believe, one last time. And so you can watch it starting April 16th. You can get all the episodes. You can buy individual episodes. But it's, but it's, If you do it now, you get a discount for doing it.

And all you have to do is go to yMH studios.com. The show is called The End. And it's fantastic. It really is so great. This staff did an incredible job producing it, and we're very proud of it. So if you could, if you'd love to, support the show. And if you support shows like this, it just leads to more things like this coming out, you know? Yeah, trot out.

Try it out, man. Try it out. So there's that. Gene, I know you have... Oh, I'm making stand-ups, very limited runs. This weekend, just here in Texas, I'm doing comedy, mothership, April 10th, and 11th. And then I go to Irving, Texas. Which is close to...

Which is Phallis. April 24th and 25th. And then comedy works. Yes, it does. Comedy and Prayer. May 14th through 16th. Downtown, which is the most incredible place to do stand-up comedy. Honestly, you've heard it from a million comedians,

and the reason is because it's true. But that place is magical. I think you're really going to enjoy it. And Chicago, the Den Theater, September 18th and 19th. And also, buy my lipsticks. I'm wearing my new liquid lipstick. This is the cuts you up color, and I fucking love it. It's so high quality.

It's from Itli. It's well made. And I do this myself because I believe in these products, all of them. And then I also did my Velvet Crush blush today. This is Forever Winona. Take it out. ChristinaPete.com. Go see your live.

Get your makeups. Go your things. Get your stuff like that. That's that. We are very excited to have many discussions and show you many interesting things, things that the mainstream media won't show you. You're not going to see this. this on CNN. You're not going to see this on MSNBC. You're not going to see this on Fox News. You're only

going to see it here. I understand that sometimes people write articles about what we do on this show, and we will continue to be the people that bring you the real story. That's correct, Tom. Are you ready to open the show? Because I think this is an interesting point. Oh, I can't wait. Yeah. Here we go. Hey, here you go. Can someone explain to me what the moral problem with incest is? I think that I think that I don't see really a problem with it as long as long as you know having a kid. Yeah. That's a really good point.

We'll talk about it. Let's get into it. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pulitzer. Welcome to your mom's house. I felt that one. I felt it, dude. He's not right. Can someone explain the fucking issue with incest?

That's a really great question. Can I say something? When I was an undergrad in philosophy, we discussed this. I'm sure this is a great philosophical topic. It kind of is, though, because historically, to maintain and preserve wealth in big families, you would marry a cousin. You would marry your own blood. In tradition, throughout history, this has been done so much, especially in royalty, right?

Yes, they're all in bread. But aside from that, in today's world, there are many occurrences of first cousins marrying. Yeah. This is not a rare thing. And I don't think you necessarily produce R words if you do your first cousin. I think the only reason incest is discouraged is because of the breeding stuff. So what you're saying is, we got a real philosopher here. I think this is Nietzsche.

This is. But do you see a moral problem? I don't. Like, let's say you grew up and you're like, I fucking love my sister Maria. Just the chemistry. Oh, my God. Is that necessarily wrong? Well, we know someone.

We know someone. I know we do know someone. Who one time just went on and on. We were talking to this person about their love life. And the person that we spoke to was like, you know who would be my ideal mate? And we were both like, oh, who? And the person said, my sibling. Yeah.

And we were like, what? Yeah. And then they were like, no. like my sibling is fun and beautiful and interesting and all this stuff. And we were like, talking about your sibling right now. Yeah. And he was very like. Very, and very, very normal.

Like, yeah, we do everything together. We go to the bathroom. I wish I could meet someone like this. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, I don't have. I have stepsisters. Well, here's the thing, though.

But you do have first cousins. Now, could you see yourself scissoring with, you know what I mean? Like, what would you be licking each other to death? Licking each other to death. No, no, I did French one of my cousins, though, in Hungary, remember? The summer of, 94. No. No, that changes everything.

I mean, I've fucked six second cousins. But a first cousin, here's the other thing about the first cousin. How often does someone see their first cousin? Like a kind, sometimes a lot if you're close. I'm saying that I think that plays a role because if you see them all the time, maybe it feels more incestuous. If they're like, this is your first cousin,

but you go 11 years without seeing them, then you might be like, oh, this feels like a stranger in a way, right? Even though you're told, I think, I don't know, I think it would be

very, very strange. Well, the second cousin that I Frenched, I had not met him prior to that summer. But that is... You're right. There's something to the distance.

You know. Also, a second. second cousin, it's not as much of a line being, like there's a, yeah. And it felt we honestly though, after we did, I was kind of like, okay, I think I've tried that. That's the end of that chapter. But was it because it's a second cousin? Yeah, I was like, this is, I can't tell anybody. Yeah. Until now, I'm, you know, 30 years down the road because it was so embarrassing. And my best friend was there with Sean was there. So she knew. And I just, I felt so embarrassed. But back to this thing, he's right.

Because if you're both of the same age, there's no power discrepancy. Like, for instance, Woody Allen and his stepdaughter, Sunni Previn, that's a power thing. That's an older person. Definitely, because they're like, remember when I raised you? Yeah. But if you're together, let's say you're close in age,

what if you're twins? Which? Fraternal twins? I don't know. Maybe it could be ideal. You know that person so well. I still can't believe that. I always think about the guy that saw me with Sean was like twins?

You do look like each other. No, we do. People say it all the time. On set, they're like, why isn't this you're standing? Why isn't this your double? Like, you know, you guys look alike. But this guy looked at me and goes, twins? Yeah.

And then we were like, yeah, he goes, yeah, I'm a twin. And we were like. But do you think if you were gay, you would want to be with Sean? Yeah, of course. why of course he's your type meaning you're your type no like we're close like we've you know we've showered together we've bathed together we sleep together yeah we feed each other yeah but you're your gay type is what you're like what's your gay type i don't haven't really put much thought into it what i'm saying is though this guy makes somewhat of a point but i still think what's

the moral issue with incest is that you don't think there's any Yeah it's just offspring I wouldn't

if they're the same age let's say you two have the same mental capacity nobody's a diminished mental capacity you two are raised together your adults pussy

like no one's like that yeah then it is the offspring that's the problem yeah because then they come out all touched

they come out a little funky well I never thought that playing this video would lead to such an interesting dialogue. Can I, you know what, though? Let's tap this guy more often. I think I am my gay type.

You're your gay type? Yes. A woman like you? Yeah, because I'm so gay for Charlize Theron, not that I'm as attractive as her, but she's a blonde. And what color eyes is she? I think I just, maybe I'm narcissistic.

I'll be honest. Okay, buddy. I've never noticed she had eyes. Maybe I'm attracted to my ideal physical type. Oh, yeah. Does that make sense? Like, in my dream world, I would look like, I'd want to look like her. But now that you say it, I'm definitely not gay attracted to my type.

Okay. I'd definitely not, because I wouldn't want a hairy guy. I'd be like, oh, my God. I'd want the most feminine version of a man. If I had to be with a man, I'd be like, please don't be masculine. Like a Timothy Shalomey. He's very fair. Someone I could ragdoll.

Yeah. Just put him in a headlock like, I'm fucking you little shit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's exciting. You would need like a small hairless European, not American. Tom. But why?

Little Italian guy. I'm Tomatino. That's cool. Man, we really have this. Like, see, oh, find me. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he does make a good point, this guy.

Thank you, sir. You led to a really interesting conversation. Jesus Christ. Real thought-provoking. Thank you. Welcome to the end, everybody. It's a storytelling show. Me and my comedian friends, we're all telling true and really terrible stories.

Into a toddler's face. Wild face sometime. Regretful. Every STD. Horrible. I'm going to fuck you up. An amazing story. We just got started.

I'm going to start. stop the terrace. You're in trouble, best job. It's going to be a good night. It's going to kill us all. Come about to be fucking. You should be in jail.

Hey man, are you okay? I actually do well. You don't fucking talk to me, okay? I'm the disciple of the Lord. Not you miss the spot. How did I get here? How did this happen? That's a good question.

You guys ready to start the show? Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax. investment advice. I want to help my kids and I want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my out of office

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So this has been in the news and I know it's not It's certainly not breaking news for us, but it's so fascinating. This Christy Noam's husband's story. Oh, boy. I'm just like, I'm just, I've only seen the peripherally what's happening. Yeah. I don't really know the story.

Me too. What is the actual story? Can you bring this up for me, please? Because I know that this guy's photo was revealed to, he likes putting on big tits, right? Putting on the tits. That's his kink. That's his thing. It's his thing.

Yeah. We had just briefly talked about why do you have to put it out there? Just jerk off at home with your tits on. Well, okay, because Tom, the whole point of getting big fakers is to show off your big fakers. Have them acknowledged. Yeah, like that's why you get them. You get big fakers for people to fucking say nice tits. So look at this guy too.

By the way, very like gruff-looking guy too. I know. I would never peg him. Like, it's always like. So let's say, model, was paid $25 a minute to talk dirty with the cross-dressing husband. 25 bucks a minute? Yeah.

Damn, that's good. He liked to perform for her during the video sessions. And why did this bitch sell him out? See, like, he paid her, right? Did he stiff you on the payment? I definitely remember his phase, but there's no way I could ever forget the fake boobs. This woman he uses his name said, earlier the week, the Daily Mail published photos of him,

Chrissy's husband of 34 years, seemingly wearing a large pair of fake breasts under a tight top and a pair of hot pants. So he liked, it's part of the bimbofication scene, a role-playing kink centered around exaggerated, hypersexual femininity. So this is the woman he would talk to. They sent shockwaves around Washington, President Trump addressed it.

I don't know anything about it. That's too bad. I don't know anything about it. Security experts suggest the existence of photographs could have been made, could have made his wife subject to potential blackmail threats. Okay, it's astounding that somebody

whose spouse is at the level has that kind of bad. So maybe it's just that he kept those photos around and then they leaked, you know, somehow leaked. They were stolen or something? I heard that they were, yeah, they were leaked on a Reddit. But first of all, if this hoe, she just ruined her own business. Why would you do this?

But maybe she's saying it after, like she had nothing to do with the leak. That's the part that I don't really know about. She claimed that he paid her webcam services between 10 and 15 times over a two-year period. So he's fucking, why are you talking about him. I don't know. I wanted what happened to him. Oh, but Klein's come and go. So she hasn't

dealt with him in a while. She said she never judged her client's preferences, but saw hypocrisy. Oh, and a conservative Christian father of three. Oh, he's one of those. He was married to a Trump official. Maybe she's like, oh, fuck this guy. I don't know. Fuck that guy. But there it is. I will say. Fucking hot, dude. Those are a big old tip. His nips are fucked up too. Nobody's nipples are that. But that's just the thing he throws on when he wants to get off. Yeah, it's, of course, a dude does it wrong like that. Nobody's these nips are Right, but I mean, what do you expect them

that have? They're not implants. He just puts this on. He goes, look at my big tips. That's so dumb, I know. Yeah. Yeah, see, I do agree. If he's like a conservative

telling people how to live their lives. That's always that. That's why it's always these pastors that they're like, I have a fucking grinder account and, you know, I'm getting sucked off in the back of the chapel. Just be gay, I know, just go for it.

They have to go like, gay is evil. Yeah. The Lord has. Yeah. It's just like, it's. They have to repress the thing. They repress it so much. And then you got a...

Wow. This is such a neat one, though. But, you know, you make a good point. You make a good point. It's, you want people to say, those are some great big tips you got. So if it's hyper-feminization. Yeah. And that's what those chicks want. And then they're like, your tits are so big. That's what they want. Oh, my God, I know.

Aren't they? They're so heavy. My back hurts. Like, all I see is back pain. When I see that guy, I'm like, My nipples are so sensitive today. Yeah. He's like, he's like learned all the things to say. Sometimes they still leak, but from my breast fat. Yeah. God, I hated having big tits.

This is the absolute worst fetish for me. I'm so glad I don't have tits like that. He just wanted those big tits acknowledged, you know? I think you're right. He just wanted to show them off. Because look at his mouth, too. He's like, look at me. He's a bad girl.

The pursed lips? Uh-huh. Can we see like what he was actually putting out there in the world? I want to see his frame of mind. What is, who does he think he is when he's wearing those big tits? That's what's interesting. Yeah, see, he's doing like duck face. Yeah, he's doing duck face.

So he's like, I'm just a bad little girl with my big tints. And he likes to. He's got his little hot pink pants on. Can you, is that, is there a carousel there? Is there like other photos or no? But why doesn't he wear a wig and lipstick too? It's just the tits. That's like you, like a beard and tits.

It's so weird. I'm such an ugly woman. There's like there's no amount of shit you can do with me. If you wanted. I've done it. I've done it. Yeah. You'll see me as a woman and it ain't good.

Oh, oh, okay. So he did access. Like he wore the hot pants. Yeah. So this is the article that leaked it from the day. Daily Mail. Oh, this is, is there lipstick on? There's lipstick on there.

Oh, yeah, it's pink. So he did do lipstick. Okay, good girl. Well, at least he tried. But he should have put a wig on. I would have gone with longer hair. See, see, but look at his face. Go down.

Yeah, he's doing serious, fuck me vibes. He's like, don't I look good like this? Yeah. Bitch, you know you want this. But who wants this? Guys or girls? Well, that's the thing is like, he's, if it's exaggerated, it's as hyperfemininity and is exaggerated,

I don't, I wonder if his thing is he wants other women to go, because he hired a female Right. To be like, you're so hot, just like me. Like maybe the sex person is like, we're both hot. Because otherwise wouldn't he want a guy to be like, you're so fucking. I want to fuck you, you're not. So he doesn't. So wait, so wait a minute.

He's a straight guy who wants to be a lesbian. Maybe. That's what it seems like. Yeah. Because he's asking a female. And maybe the female he's asking. because the woman that he was tricking with was a brunette like his wife. So that's his type.

Maybe that's what he wanted, you know. Interesting. God, that's such an easy. And can I also say that in terms of fetishes, that's like the easiest one to accommodate for a husband. If he's like, I like to put on tits and hot pants, great. Let's lock the door and put on your tits. And I'll tell you how hot your tits are. Who care?

This is such a nothing burger in sexuality. Yeah. There's no cleanup. It's just the simplest, easiest thing. Well, it doesn't say if then he just, like, stroked it. And he's like, oh, no, my cum got all over my head. You know, there's no. I'm sure it got there.

But also, that's easy to, that's fine. But what I'm saying by no cleanup is that he's not asking to shit on your face. He's stuffed two balloons? No. That's what it says. Positioning the knots to mimic nipples. That's why they don't look like, like scroll down, see if that is right. Like, look at them.

So, yeah. Yeah, those are balloon knots. What an idiot. Yeah. You dope. We didn't want to have a big set of tits laying around. Well, then, I like. What he did was in the morning, he would go out, come home, be like, hey, kids, I got you some balloons.

And then when the kids would go down, he'd get those balloons. Yeah. And then put it online, which is much more secretive. Well, I don't think that, I don't know that he, I think this is a hooker. Some type of leak. Yeah, some type of leak. Yeah. Somehow took a screenshot of him and put that show on there, dude.

Yeah. Well, he can't trust fools on the internet, bro. What are doing? Bimboification scene. Yeah. It's really wild. Bimboification. All right.

Cool. Oh, hold on. They transform themselves into real-life Barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts of saline into their breasts. That's the ones who really do it. The real girls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I totally understand the Barbie thing because we grow up playing with those dolls and you want to look like... I mean, and also we are in society when you're walking around. Yeah. You're seeing it.

Sometimes you're just like, whatever. You're at the mall or the... the grocery store and you'll see a woman walk by and you're like and it's like colossal tips and you're like oh she's she's really doing it she's like don't i look good and you're like oh really cool look you got going on you don't look even human no what is this he sent his secret roster of online acquaintances at least 25 grand dad be a cash app and paypal idiot when the payments where to later fail to materialize the chest would quickly turn sour. Oh, there you go.

Yep. That's crazy. He's not a bad looking dude. No. He could have been an attractive woman if he tried, if he really tried. Yeah. Just try. Guys are so lazy.

Oh, just put the fucking balloons under a nude shirt. It looks terrible. Yeah. Fucking asshole. There you go. Really crazy. It was hot pants. It's always.

bad fashion too it's like guys never know how to be good at looking like chicks like there needs to be a consultation like a place where dudes can go and like a woman can help you look like a better woman I would do this yeah like you look terrible sir that is a really good service for like the man that goes I want to look more like a woman to have women help help consult with them be like yeah because these guys don't know how to do it every time I see these clowns I'm Instagram they look terrible terrible I will help you gaysers it's not good all right speaking of I don't have time for that shit he sexy things I'm not helping anybody do anything anymore Tom you deserve spanking she looks great by the way she does look

great she's your mom's age awesome we played some of her her previous videos aren't in here but we played this woman before. Mm-hmm. And she was doing sexy things. Mm-hmm. And I believe she has in Onlyfans. Yes, she's supporting herself. We played those.

And we talked about them. And then this came out. Mm-hmm. But how do you feel being a sex symbol now? I don't think that that's not what's happening. She just told me that I deserve to spanking. Which makes you a sex symbol. Like, people are making sexy videos for you now.

Doesn't that feel nice? Yeah, it does feel nice. But as far as like the 80-year-old market goes, I would say she's top shelf. Like she's really good-looking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And honestly, I hope you support this lady. I really do hope you support her. We support her.

Well, let's give her a shout out. What's her only fans name? Do you know? This is Linda Hope, 1939, the year of her birth. Jesus Christ She's wearing a 9-inch nail shirt Oh Jesus Oh

The link is on my Instagram bitch I am Linda Hope The link is on Who wore it best Me Yes That sad lady

Linda Linda You love this I love her dude Yeah So now she's just tagging us And everything too Yeah

Oh nice All right Well please support Linda Yeah that's really cool I really hope you continue to create content, as the folks say. And you guys don't have to watch it, but maybe somebody out there will.

I will. Oh, there you go. Oh, yeah, Eni's smashing it. We'll have a watch party for it. I'm sorry? You will? Yeah. Nice. Dudes, you're already to know what time it is. It's time to level up,

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slash ymhmh cha change oh i also I should have told you that I did this but I just did this I hope you're okay with this I'm gonna send you I'm gonna play this for you right now just make sure you're okay with it oh dear fancy chef look what Tom Sigora gave me for being the Missing Star Chef. Look what he gave me for being the Missing Star Chef.

Beautiful and nice. Look what he gave me for being the Missing Star Chef and winning. Seagora. Yep. Tom Segora. Zoom. Zoom. Yeah.

Zoom. Zoom. So I probably should have, you know, run it by you. But I was like, man, you're such a good chef. And then I bought him this Lamborghini. You bought him a Lamborghini. Well, he did a great job cooking. How much did that cost?

I don't think that was much. It was maybe like 300 grand or something. Oh, my God. Tell me. Yeah. Great. So just so you know, I was like, man, whenever anyone cooks me like an awesome meal, a lot of times I'll buy him a car. Okay.

You know? Yeah, no, I know. I'm like, man, that was fucking really good. You know, so I'll be like, do you want to call? and I was just like ship him a car. So yeah, just so you know, I got him that Lamborghini. Perfect. Yeah.

And I was not expecting him to put it out there, but I guess, you know, he was overwhelmed by the gesture. And he was like, thank you for sending this. Cool. Yeah. So, you know, anyway, if you want to cook, you know, for me, you know how it goes. If it's good, it'll probably be like a car or something as to thank you. Yeah.

Very generous. Yeah, I mean, well, I just, I was like, man, this, never had anything like this. Remember he did the John Segura here? It was kind of worth it. I'm sorry, you're right. Like I was first upset. Yeah. And then I was like, how much would you pay for that meal? 300,000? Easily, right. Yeah. No, you're right. I'm so stupid. First I don't see it and then I see it. In a way, too, if you really think about it. Yeah. He's only crediting me with this gift. Maybe you should send him something too and be like, oh, that was from Tom. This is for me. It's a great idea. What can I send him to,

top of Lamborghini. There's so many things. He needs a yacht. They are jewelry. He loves jewelry. He wears mint coats, you know. Half a million dollars. You can be like, that was Tom's thanks.

This is my thanks. Okay. He's always walking out of designer stores. He'll be like, are you rolling? And he'll walk out and then, you know, so maybe like you get him like a shopping spree or something. It's a great idea. Hermes? Hermes.

Louis Vedan. all those places. People love that stuff. All right. I mean, I think it's reasonable. The meal was fucking unbelievable. Like you're not going to say thank you. Obviously, I said a huge thanks.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's cool. It's good. Yeah. Okay? He needs a Lamborghini. What's fair is fair.

All right. You and I both actually speaking of it, but we love food. We love good restaurants, good experiences. I saw this review that I thought would be fun to for us the review. So today I fucking went to the fucking most expensive fucking restaurant in my city. And the fucking vibe of this fucking restaurant

is so amazing. Like there were flowers and everything decorative. I love the fucking vibe here. And then I fucking ordered this fucking I don't know pasta. It's a fucking pasta. And I ordered this fucking garlic noodles. It's a fucking noodles. And I ordered this

fucking pizza too. It's a very delicious pizza. And I ate all these things and these old things are so good. I loved it. I liked it. I love it. These are the best reviews. Yeah. This is all I understand. Yeah. This is all I understand in the world. And you have, you know, the connection to your Indian...

My Indian step family. Yes, yes. So then he does a, I think a... And this fucking video is sponsored by Rochester Wood Studio from Michigan, United States. They appeared for this food. I loved it, man. Follow me for more fucking content. This kid's brilliant. I love it. I love it. People sponsoring him to eat in nice restaurants. Good on you, son.

This is a summit, yadav, aka, I don't even know how to say the something summit. But he does these reviews. Do you know where in India he is? Where is he? Guys, send this guy some cash. Let the boy eat. I love these guys put their descriptions in my folder. It says, where some fucking expensive restaurant.

And it says he was sponsored by a business in Michigan. And it says, Aftermath. digested the fucking meal. Yeah. Well done, boys. Well done. Hey. This guy rules.

Yes. I could watch him do this, by the way, all day. That's what I was doing, bro. I was like, this is really nice. It's really cool. He's some fucking noodles. And you're like, yes, dude. Because that's how people talk.

Is this how people talk? I don't know. Some fucking shit and it was good. I'd like to ask you, do you want to see something you will like or won't like? Start me off with something sour and then give me something sweet. Something that you like. Yeah. This is just.

And I just saw it today. I didn't send this. I didn't plan this. But this is just strange. And I think you'll be like, oh my God. I just told you was going to be. Why do you do it? I didn't.

I don't like it. He's just, it's just water. Yeah, but it's not, it don't like it. I don't like it. Okay, all right. Jesus. Stop it. I told you it was going to be sour.

Okay, okay. All right. What is fucking wrong with you? Why is he puking up so much water? That's what he does. To ask, I didn't fucking find it. Why is he doing that? This is trick.

I don't like it. Okay, I took it off. It's done. This is the one that I think you'll like. Okay. Here's the worst. Here's what I think you'll like. I hate you so much.

Here's what I think you'll like. Dick. If you're after the $7,000 and dream to own large house with pool and backyard, this house can be yours. Just be called and I'll make it happen. Thank you. This is every Hungarian guy I grew up with. This is San Fernando Valley, dude. Yes, Yano.

She says. Friends, this beautiful. dream home approximately $1,000 mortgage every month. Close to the funeral. Close to the funeral. On public transportation and the grocery. Now, one of the things that I love about these is it highlights just how low the bar is to get into real estate. Like, you have, you don't even have to be able to speak the language.

Yeah. You don't have, and you can be like, you know what's great about this? There's a funeral home across the street. Like these guys, there's no bar for real estate. I know that's why my mother told me because she's like, it's for foreigners, okay? Immigrants. Because my Indian stepdad was doing real estate.

She was doing real estate. It is something, you can have like a prison record and sell real estate. You can be scum of the earth and sell fucking real estate and make a great living. It's not in the folder, but I just saw one where a guy, his entire face is completely tatted and he's doing a tour he's like, check out this house right here. He's doing a full tour. He's like, hit me up, Sotheby's, whatever.

You're like, yeah, dude, it's for anyone. It's, well, it's, well, I don't know if it's for any, and it's for people who are very hyperactive too. Yeah, a lot of energy. You need energy. You need a lot because. The Russian didn't have a lot, by the way. No, he's like, come on.

You're 24-7 working in real estate. It's very, it's a very demanding. Yeah. This is not who I was talking about, but this is another example. Yeah. This guy's wearing a prison jumpsuit. We're going to start this tour off with the meth hall right here. You and your partners can come over here and eat. See, but this guy, this is not what I'm talking about because he's doing it. It's a joke. That's kind of comedically. I was talking about a guy who I just saw who did a genuine, like, real tour and is, I mean, all tatted up, right?

And he works for like a real real estate place. Yeah. I'll find it. I'll find it. I'll send it to you. But don't, I kind of like that now that society is so open. Like,

fucking great. Let that guy have a shot at life. Yeah. Before you couldn't, you couldn't do anything if you were weird. It's great that there's one final option for you. If everything has gone wrong for you professionally, there's always real estate.

That's the last. the real thing. Yeah. You could be like, I have been arrested. Shit's falling apart. I have a piss tested positive for Coke and fentanyl. I have a record of all... Bankruptcy.

Fraud. And they'll be like, you want to come sell some houses? And you're like, yes. You can still do that. You can still sell houses. You can't even bartend if you're fucked up. No. Like, no.

No. No. Well, look, let's stop fucking around with jokes. I talk about something serious. Uh-oh. Right? Everybody. I want you to take a look at these videos.

Ah! Shit. Oh, no. Oh, shit. Oh, dude, no. Oh, dude, no, no. Not the kid. No.

No, no, no, no. Fuck. Dude, if you got wheels, don't go near the escalator. Look at this. Look with this psycho. You got a walker? No, they jump on the handrail. Is this your first time on a...

Oh my God. Oh! Dummy? Fuck. Take the elevator, you stupid shit. Larry, what's the point of all this? Now, getting on and off an escalator. Please, do not bring strollers.

Do not bring shopping carts. Do not bring wheelchairs. Do not bring walkers. As we could see from these videos, things ended badly for these people. These are pieces of machinery that just will not stop. So be extra cautious when stepping on to an escalator. Be well. Be safe.

Thank you, Larry. Finally, somebody said it. Yeah. The whole time I've been like, I never think when I get on an escalator. Never. Sometimes I have like a cart or like, you know. Oh, I've done luggage, shopping cards, stroll. I've done everything.

Nobody's told me not to. I've started scanning rooms and parking lots like crazy. Yes, me too. Right? I always look for exits. And I also go, what could be an improvised weapon in any moment? Like I always think of that. I've been using knives more, you know, mace.

I've been trying to go to the range to kind of get a little sharper with my shot. But, man, escalators, you're like, I never think about that. Never thought about that before. That's the fucking value of Larry, honestly, is like he brings up stuff that you're like, oh, yeah. Yeah. I just get on the escalators willy-nilly all the time. Willie-nilly, not even thinking. You know what?

I always think about is his garage tip, that string that hangs down. That haunts me nightly. And I don't know if he's on a video about automatic doors, but I've been thinking about those more. Really? I mean, those can cut you in half, right? Yeah. Like if you don't think about when it's going to close, you got to time those out.

Yep. The sensor doesn't work and it chops you in half. Or you walk right into the glass, shatter the glass. Oh, my God. The face goes through the glass. Oh, my God. The whole life is different. Well, not even just escalators, but like stairs in general.

Remember when I fell downstairs? And I broke my ankle. I do remember. Yeah, I remember that? Yeah, I do recall. You remember? Yeah, I do recall. Like, just regular stairs are scary too.

Yeah. Everything's scary. And Larry's here to remind us. Yeah. Thank you, Larry. Everything's scary. That's a good name for this next book. Everything's scary, Larry.

Written by Larry. Be scared. You forgot to be afraid today. Larry is here to remind us that everything is scary. And then sometimes we have to remind that about other things. Hold the testicle and you put one hand on the navel and we're going to spiral. Sparrow, so this, when your hand holds its way and the hand has chi, so it changed the sperm,

the sexual energy. Yeah. Are you doing it? The sexual energy comes up and when you massage this 36 times and it changed the jing back into chi. Change the ching back into Chong. Can you imagine if Montauk and Larry got together for a session? And this guy's like, holly, testico. And Larry's like, I am looking over your shoulders.

I'm wondering if there's an intruder. Are Montauk and Will Blunderfeld? The two of them love their genitals. They love their fluids. I think Will would take a natural student approach. Because Montauk's the legend. This guy's the legend. I mean, this guy does these, like, worldwide tours that people go to to hear him talk about their testicles.

Put the egg in your vagina. He's converted me more because I follow him on Instagram. Mantak? Yeah. And now it kind of makes more sense to me. He's brilliant. He's brilliant. All the stuff, the energy does circulate in your body.

It's just that he's talking about a topic that most people just don't talk about. So then you hear him talk about it and it's like makes you laugh with your. you know, juvenile mind, and then the accents also, let's be ours, it's fucking funny. It's the best. Okay, because you bring the jinxia up, the sexual energy up, up, and you have the tanthian,

and you have this tanthian can transform chi. The jing chis, the sexual energy, so you spiral 36. One, two, three, four, five, six, six, seven, eight, you know where he's going. Yeah.

going to other numbers. He's going to do the whole 36 times. Yeah, he is. And he's gripping his balls. Yeah. And you have to sit at one of these conferences that everyone's like, I'm so excited. You got to watch this man, this like somewhat elderly man, just hold on to his nuts as he talks to you and be like, yes, master. Thank you.

But he's so real with it. Yeah, he is. It's not nasty. It's not nasty. It's not salacious. No. I think that's why he sells this for me now. And then you have to go like, I feel like you could be someone who like literally goes up to him and go, like, I start taking your courses and like I stroke my sword 150 times a day.

He's just like, good, good. And I'm like so much control, so much excitement now. I feel the energy. And he's like, yeah. And you don't feel like you had a perverted conversation. That's right. Yeah. But what is he like sexually then?

The greatest lover of all. That's the thing is you think the greatest lover of all time looks like. Fabio, like the flowing hair and the physique. This guy is actually who I believe makes love better than anybody on planet Earth. Because he understands the energy, the chi, the sexual organ. It would be so awesome if at the end of his seminar he just like turned and like women came out and they gave two like testimonies. They were like, this guy fucking made me weep and come and my whole life changed.

And then they leave And then the next one And you remember What I do to you? She's like, yeah You come, fight 50 time My insights

Take hold my brain and my body We're so connected He's like, You leave now Next person And then the next woman comes She's like

I'm still Blown away By what you did to me He's like I know I am best We gotta say Does he have a wife

Like who is the wife He's always alone He always fucking Does this shit alone Maybe he's a player Like maybe Maybe this is how he gets chicks. Could be.

You know, we always talk about it. Every guy's got an angle. Everything's an angle. There's no such thing as no angle. For dudes, of course. Every dude's got an angle. All right, I have to make a peachy break. Sure, sure.

And then we will be back with very, very exciting stuff. Push hard. Okay. Ugh. You're going to swallow that when you're done? Oh, my God. She asked me, like yesterday, she goes, so when you're done with those,

do you just swallow? them. I'm like a nicotine pouch? She's like, yeah. I'm like, no, I spit it out. She's like, oh, I thought you just swallow it. Well, here's why. Hear me out. Hear me out. Hear me out, buddy. Okay, you suck the nicotine out of it. So anything that is, let's say, toxic to your body has already been put into your body.

Do you know what I'm saying? It's fiber at this point. Yeah, I don't think it works quite like that. Can you swallow? Can you swallow nicotine patches? go ahead. I mean, it's going to say no. It's going to discourage you, but one can. Or it'll block up your intestinal track and you'll die. Either way. If swallow the nicotine is still gets in your system, but less predictably, you could end up with too much nicotine, leading to nausea, vomiting, dizziness, sweating, rapid heart rates. In higher amounts, this could turn into nicotine poisoning, which is more serious. Please. Okay. It doesn't say you're going to die.

Yeah, you can suck. You can swallow it. Can you shit it out? You can definitely shit. Yeah. Yeah. And probably yeah, it's probably good for you. Give it a shot. All right, do you want to see some horrible, hilarious stuff? Yes. Okay, here we go. Here, here you go.

Uh-oh. Shit! Are you okay? Dummy. Seth, are you okay? Oh my God. Are you okay? That's what you want to hear. Here's the other thing I don't understand.

When this was being like the setup, you go like, oh, that's where this is going. But then the person asking seems like they're genuinely doing like, like, did you not think that was going to happen? What did you think was going to happen? The bike was going to go over the building? I don't understand. That was. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

It's like right there. Yeah. This is, this one is leading more hilarious because of how stupid it is. Here's why I get a little nervous. It's because they're just young, dumb boys. I know. You think about our boys. You're like, your dumb kid could do that, yeah.

Totally. Some 15-year-old, you're not thinking. Well, we always did all dumb shit. Yeah. This could happen to me. And then afterwards, like, once somebody's, like, severely hurt, we're like, yeah, we shouldn't have done that. Yeah. Their brains aren't formed yet.

Totally. Totally. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I don't like that at all. I didn't not enjoy it. kind of reminded me of something that happened at me one time.

I was going to say. I was going to say, like, I was really hating it, too. Yeah. Like, the whole, like, jump into the water at the, you know what I mean? Like, people are just trying to enjoy themselves,

whatever at this place, have lunch, and someone's like, I'm, look at me, I'm flailing on the fountain. You're like, get the fuck out of here, dude. But then I felt bad for him. Fuck. This is why you can't run on wet floors. This is why you tell your kids.

Don't run on the wet floor. Don't run on the wet floor. You'll break your arm. You'll break your arm. Yeah, this is bad. Yep. This is very bad. Now, were he a lighter person, not color weight-wise?

Do you think that he would break his arm? I think we should talk about both. His weight definitely played a role in this break. His blackness, I think, affected it a little bit, too. Interesting. Because I think... Why do you think his blackness contributed? I think we were all expecting him to react quicker, you know?

Right, because they're usually so quick on their feet. It's just like, hey, dude, you know what this is like, you know. Let's see more control. Yeah. Yeah. So, but I think it's the weight that broke it. The weight. Yeah.

Not the blackness. No. Because I definitely know when I broke my ankle, my doctor intimated that it was my weight falling on it. Really? Yeah. Like, it was kind of like, maybe. Well, how could weight and not be a, if. When something breaks, a bone breaks, yeah.

Like, I landed on. Yeah, how did they, was it like discreet? Were they all kind of polite about it? Well, the weight, you know, the weight of you on it. And I was like, what are you trying to fucking say? Like, you know, I had a two-year-old. A big woman. No, but I, you know, I was still losing.

Baby weight? Kind of. I weighed 10 pounds more than I do now, which is a lot for me. Yeah, okay. You could argue that, like, That break would happen at the weight you're at now, at 10 pounds less. Yeah. I mean, like, you fell.

Yeah, it's the angle and like the distance also, you know, it's physics, right? Yeah, it's physics. For me, it definitely played a factor in my break. But I think I could have broken it again. I think 10 pounds less, 20 pounds less. I still could have broken that arm. The angles were fucked on your thing. Yeah, we fucked up.

Can you imagine if you were black? If I were black, Here's the thing. I think my body wouldn't have allowed it to break. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Especially it was basketball. Yeah, basketball. You have so much power as a black person in basketball. You know what I mean? Like it's really home. It feels like a white person in the ocean. It's like I'm not going to drown, right? Like this is my domain. It's your turf. And where did it is, and what happened when his arm broke? In water. This is why we don't do this. That's why we don't play games. circle of life. Dude. Good point. He's right, dude.

This guy fucked up by getting in the water. Because he fucked it in the water, dude. You're right. Yeah. That's why they don't go in the water. He never ran around a swimming pool when he was a kid. That's what's up. He didn't know how to play these games.

See, there's always something to these racial things. I still, by the way, related to the break. Because you forget that I also, I snapped my Pitellertelerton. Your Patellerton, yep. I still get so cautious about wet floors. Oh my God. You know, it's PTSD for sure. Yes.

But wet floors, if I feel it, if I see it, if I sense it, I'm just, I'm an elderly woman at that point. I'm like, huh. I get so fucking scared of it. You think I don't walk down the stairs every time at a glacial pace now and my eyes on the, yeah, I don't fly downstairs anymore. Yes. Wait, was the floor wet when you're accident? No, it's that afterwards. I was in a straight brace for six weeks, and I couldn't use it.

And I couldn't bend it. And the only thing that could really go wrong for me would be a slip and fall. And I remember that I used to take a shower and get out and feel like, you know, sometimes you get out of the shower, you have like a mini slide. So I feel like the mini ones. And I would just like, the whole body would just freak out because I was like, oh my God, this floor's wide. What the fuck?

Like you get so scared that you're going to slip and fall. it has dissipated because it's been years, but you still are like very cautious. I'm very cautious around wet floors. Yeah, once you have, did you have a lot of PTSD like replaying the accident? I remember after I fell with my ankle, I've replayed it in my head so many times. I mean, I did replay. I can still see the accident in my head.

So me, to me, it was more about my, my, my not, using my better judgment of attempting that because of what had just happened. In other words, I knew, this is rehashing an old thing, but I knew that I had, I had just, we had this competition and I actually won the competition. And I knew I had just done like close to my Mac, like my Macs. And then, and that the other guy was like, you could do more. And I knew internally, you know, when you're like, no, this is my limit. Yeah. I knew it was my limit. But that whole thing I think of being around and like try more, try more. I knew I wasn't going to do more.

And then my conditioning, like the condition of my body, like the fact that I hadn't been training for so long is why trying to explode with that much power and being out of shape is why the tendon snapped. But like if I could like the thing about it was like going back. I should have been like, oh no, like this is this thing, like what we're doing here at least is done. This is over. That's the thing that replays my head is like the guy telling me go for more and knowing that I don't have more and being like, okay, you know, which is a very, I think, male thing of like, you got more, like, it's like another rep. It's like, you know, if you were bench pressing and you're like, I have, and then someone's

like, one more rep and you're like, there's nothing left in me. And then you tear your fucking, you know, your peck because you push through for one more, but you know you don't have one more. Yeah, yeah. That's what replays in my head. about that. It's just that like I shouldn't have ignored my instinct to not try the next thing. Yeah. Yeah. And and then also that guy was black. So it does it is kind of a factor. We were on a basketball court. It was a black guy and he was like, you can do it. And I was like, I'm not,

this isn't, you know, my domain. Well, you wanted his black approval, which. Oh my God. I was desperate for his black approval. Bigger than white approval. It's the best approval. A white guy being like great job on that dunk. Fuck you. A black guy being like, you don't, you slam the eye. No, there's nothing better. Or when a black person tells you that your outfit is good or that you're funny, it counts so much more. There's a list. I feel like there's a top five for sure.

I've never been told that I dance well from black people. And here's the thing, you never will. But the feeling is incredible about if it's your dancing, your musical taste. No, I don't like my music. Definitely not. But your style? Yeah. I got good, good styles.

And also not just within style, shoes, specific to shoes. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then athletic prowess. And then athletic prowess is actually, I think, number one for males. And then number two is humor. If a black person says you're hilarious. That's just the best. That's the greatest.

Yeah, or you're real? I really like that when they say that I'm real. Yeah. You're so real. Yeah. They're incredible, incredible compliments, man. They really carry you through the day. Yeah.

They really do. all right um we didn't even make it to this next one oh i don't like it i hate it oh my god well you're already in the chair yeah that's what i yeah you want to go for the upper half now he's like i don't really need this neck yeah we Jesus Christ is this guy okay or I mean like more okay Did he recover from this? We think he's fine. We think he's okay. He's good.

That's good to know. Jesus, man. That is wild that this guy's like, I'm paralyzed. Yeah. And I'm going to do this kind of shit. Yeah. That is kind of a death wish. He's just like, oh, fuck it.

Well, I hope he went out doing what he loved the first time. Do you know what I mean? Like what led to the wheelchair? Yeah. Something tells me this is what he was doing the first time. time around and he's like, on a bike or something? Like this. He's a skateboard.

Like they're crazy. Yeah. Look at Tony Hawk. He's 80 years old and he's still doing this stuff. You know how much I love him. But you know what I mean? In skateboarder years? Yeah.

Yeah. That's tough. Tough. Oh, this is going to be naughty. No. Look at the car. Wow. It's a man.

Shut up. What the fuck happened? First of all, can we just say, stay something about that? Like, that's a man? Yeah, yeah. And he's like, he was like, fuck. Shit, I just, I barely nicked you. Like, okay, I just, shit.

I didn't realize you were, he did that at like 35 miles an hour. You know what, though? Every time I see a motherfucker backing up in a parking lot, this is my worst fear. I know. Because, you know, you, sometimes this shit. shit happens. It does happen. I always get,

I'm the most overly cautious. I'm like Larry. Yeah. When I have the kids with me in a parking lot. Because I'm always like, dudes, stop looking down, look up. You don't know that any motherfucker could be like, I mean, he did that so fucking fast. You know what it is? He probably thought he was putting his foot on the brakes.

Yeah, the brakes. Yeah, he pushed it hard. Yeah. Right now he's released. releasing his break, right? Yeah. Releasing and tap. You can see a break, break.

And then he's like, Oh! For sure. For sure what happened, I think, is that as he's making this turn right here, when he is, when he is not yet there, not there. He's going to change in a drive.

No, he sees the guy and goes, I'm going to press the break hard. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like hard because, you know, you see someone, you hit the break hard. And instead of hitting the brake hard, hits the gas hard.

And that is so, that's full speed. This is my favorite part the way it gets out. God, damn. Fuck! He knows his life is over. You know, now he's also like, I was fucking going to a,

a movie you know i got i got i got a fucking text guys i can't go to the movie i just killed this guy in a parking lot you imagine though you do this to some dude your fucking life is ruined his whole fucking life is over dude everything's different right now lawsuits and everything's different you're fucked oh god oh shit this is stupid i hate this oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit Yeah, you deserve it. I always think of that when I see horse carriages too. Stupid. I always think about it.

Yeah. I really do. I hate the ones in Central Park. Yeah. I hate it. The horses don't want to be near traffic all day. And here's the thing. You see it in a movie and you're like, that's beautiful or romantic.

But when you walk and you see it, you're like, this is not comfortable. It smells. It smells. The horse doesn't want to do this. Horrific. Like the whole thing is not. Then it's hot in New York. And then you smell the garbage, the urine, the horse shit at the same time.

And cigarette smokes and weed and everything else around. It's like, God damn it. The horse doesn't want to be there. And here's the thing. They're never taking you somewhere you want to go. What they're going to do is we're going to do this. And then I'm going to take you back to where we started. So you're like, what was the fucking point?

I want to go somewhere. I want the horse to drop me off at the hotel. They're like, that's not a fucking option. You get to go for a ride like a child. I mean to Long Island. Take me to Long Island. Take me to Brooklyn in the horse carriage. Get out of here, man. Fuck out of here. Look, it's real close to tax day. I think it's worth reminding people that this is a big deal, guys.

Yeah. You got to fucking pay your taxes. As a reminder, here's a clip just to remind you of. You're not going to death. What will happen if I don't pay my taxes? Well, you could get levied, but I know how to block a levy. So we're going to block it until the 10-year statute ends, and the IRS will then have to write off your debt. Have a good day. I mean, the cool thing about that is it's in many ways.

Brilliant. Well, it's in many ways the messages just don't go ahead and don't pay your taxes. I mean, that's essentially, she's like, what happens if I don't? He said, I know how to stop a levy 10 years later. later, they'll have to write it off. There you go. Anything else? Well, here, I love, this is, I mean, I wish my accountant did stuff like this.

Tax season ends. Yeah. On Wednesday, April 15th. Yes, sir. There's only one thing I want you to know right now, is if you're a taxpayer. Please, shave. If you're getting a refund, you're confident you're getting a refund, there's no issues. You do not need to file.

You are not getting a late filing penalty or late payment penalty because you're getting a refund. If you are owning a significant amount of money, there's no refund. money, you are going to get a 5% penalty if you don't file an individual extension on a 4860. Okay. I think we're good. This is just like... God, I blacked out. I was so bored.

It's just unbelievable. It's also an interesting choice as like the accountant that's, you know, getting ready to shave and putting out your content that way. But yeah, I mean, Mike makes a good point. I like it. Yeah. You have to... sometimes people do the

there's Mike also there's the accountant clean shaved and with a nice lady it looks like at the gym possibly shirtless at the gym well his hair is always incredible he's got amazing hair which I like in an accountant

the guy's a fucking winner he does a lot of like AMAs on Instagram yeah you see this is what's happened to this generation someone goes have you ever took a shit in a Rolex box you would never have imagined a young person let's say 18 or 20 ever asking a stupid juvenile idiotic question like this yeah but did you know what's the answer yeah he's like and yeah

I did okay when I was younger 40 years ago plus this is just juvenile idiocy answer the question I mean you're just a bunch of grassful kids in adult bodies okay You're lost, man. You guys are really lost if you're asking these kind of questions. And I don't know if there's any hope for you. What about when you take the, you hit it from behind and you twist it so it grabs your dick? Yeah. That was a cool.

That was a very mature discussion. Yeah, he's like, you guys are asking. Yeah, ask something more dignified. You guys are asking juvenile questions. Move her around from behind so that the pussy grips your dick. And that's the way it feels good. You've got to do that, man. You got to do that.

That's a Brooklyn rap, bro. That is a Brooklyn motherfucking rap. Ask mature questions. God, grow up. Yeah. Grow up. Stop asking me silly things. When you hit it from behind, you got to grip so that the pussy grips it.

And you're like, cool. So about this filing. It's unbelievable, man. All right. I want to go out on your talks? Please. All right. Have not seen any of these.

Very excited to see what type of emotional experience the rest of us will have today. What if I told you that after 50, your body slowly starts developing the old people smell? And most people have absolutely no idea it's happening to them. There's a scientific name for it. It's called two known enal. A compound your body starts producing naturally after 50. It's that musty, waxy, slightly stale. smell. The one you associate with your grandparents' home or an older relative when they walk into a

room. It has nothing to do with hygiene. You can shower twice a day, use the most expensive soaps. It keeps coming back because it's being produced from inside your body. Washing just masks it temporarily. And the scariest part? Your brain gets used to your own smell over time. You genuinely cannot detect it on yourself the way others can. Most people walking around with it have absolutely no idea. Think about the people in your life right now. So redundant. Would you tell any of them about their scent?

Really? So there's no solution? That was the whole thing? There is a solution. She's selling you pills. Oh, the pills will mask it. From the inside. It'll stop the smell of decay from the inside, which, believe you, me, I'll be buying

this. I mean, I think you should place your order now. I know. I'm going to be 50 in June. Oh, my God. God damn, bro. Isn't it bad enough? We have to smell.

Finger nails are not required. I want you to know, I hate this video. Why? I hate it. I just hated that video. Why? I don't like it. You can't.

I'm not somebody who wants to waste any kind of an opportunity that we have. We're cutting hair. So you can share with me or not. What are we letting go of today? What are releasing? What can we let go of that no longer serves us through this haircut? In this past year, Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for asking. Oh, of course. Well, have you to do? Take a deep breath in. So there was a deep share and then no one got to see it. Stupid bitch. Thanks.

Also, she's like... What are we letting go of? The fucking hair you're cutting, asshole. What do you fucking think? Well, she's like, you could share with me or not. What if you were like, no, I don't want to share with you. Okay. Like, how awful.

Let's just not waste the fact that this haircut is also a release of what you're holding on to. Is it? Could you imagine? It's not just a trim? Could you imagine this is your hair dress? I'll kill myself. Shut the fuck up and get the clippers out. Alan is like, hey, homie, is there anything you want to release right now?

Right now? You know what I'm saying? Like, it's in a rough year, right? You want to talk about it during the haircut? Do you want to actually just unwind and have me style your hair? I know. My guy would never. Do you want this haircut to be more like an intense therapy session?

Or do you want to just get a haircut? Alan for me still, eh? Shout out. Oh yeah so this is my new You're a new lane Cool girls, cool older ladies talks That are like I'm down Horny older ladies

Yeah, a little handshake between friends Never ruined a friendship And she's intimating that it's a certain type of handshake I hate it Ayahuasca Is that what we're talking about here? Yeah, that's what it feels like Oh no, it's the frog one

You lick the frog Could you have married that? I don't want to do this at all. There are these dumb white people paying for the shit. This is the only context in which I've seen you okay with vomiting. In my entire life. I've never seen you enjoy it. Because they're so stupid.

I mean, would you... It's so funny that you actually are like, this is great. And they're like, yeah, yeah. First of all, not only have they paid for this stupidity of licking this frog poison, they've flown to some remote jungle in some third world fucking country.

If they die, they just die out there. They definitely do just die. Puking in buckets and shitting in buckets. And it's just some fucking, yeah, some weirdo rubbing your back. With strangers doing this, I would rather die. This is horrible. You could never get me to do this.

I would, God, there's a, I'm trying to think. Will you at least consider watching the water vomit guy again? No, no. Just with this mindset. No, no, it's not, because I know this is drug related. The other one, I can't. I don't understand why he's doing it. All right.

These people are just fucking sick. I'm releasing so much right now. I just got my haircut and now I'm doing this. I'm growing. so much. Okay. Here we go. That is piping hot.

That's a branding. Yeah, it's treatment. Uh-huh. What's the treatment? Which is poking you with a hot rod. That's a third-degree skin. But he can move his arm, yeah. My arm moves again.

See? It's because of the endorphins. If I do this, will you never hit me with that thing again? Relief from excursionate pain? Yeah. I think it's panic. Just endorphins. Yeah, of course.

And they're like, oh, he's got adrenaline shooting through. I can't fucking move. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm good. I'm good. You fixed it. You fixed it. Just get a steroid shot, man. Holy shit, bro.

Good steroids. Unbelievable. Ha, more white people shit. I'm really into white people doing stupid healing things. What is worse? This or the haircutting lady? You have to choose one. You're getting your haircut and you have to really...

The haircut would be more unnerving. At least here you can take a fucking nap. You know, they have sleep masks on. You can be like, go ahead, do your fucking bullshit. I'm sleeping. Haircut lady or ayahuasca ceremony. Oh my God. I'm getting a haircut.

I'll grow this shit out. I don't care. I'm not doing the jungle. The jungle is the worst. I'm not against... I've done, you know. I like that type of thing. I don't like the jungle.

vomit setting. Buckets. And they put out buckets in the dirt for you to puke and shit in front of everybody. The lady was just like, I'll clean the vomit off of your face. You're like, hey, oh, and they're like doing it for you. Fuck, man. You're so wiped from that experience physically that it probably feels like such a release.

Yeah. You know, you're like, I'm alive. I made it. I know. It's like getting food poisoning. You're just like, oh, thank God I'm back. It's not even. You'll see that right there.

Oh, here's the new snack. That's right. best snack there is right here right here it's salted peanuts and Coca-Cola that's right don't get no better than that right there I went to college with guys like I really did I mean this if I never left I might be making this video do you think he's lost these right here the fucking best snack you can get right here man put fucking salt and peanuts in your Coca-Cola it's just a fucking slacks dog yeah do you think he swallows his

nicotine patch this guy he swallows dip yeah without question But here's the deal, man. At first I thought it was stupid. And then I'm like, that kind of probably does taste really good, though. Salted peanuts and a Coke. It's good shit, I bet. Salty and sweet. Yeah, that's probably pretty good.

I've never seen anyone do that. Especially when you got your period. Salty and sweet. That's probably why he likes it so much. You know where this guy is, but you don't know where this guy is, right? It's here. I wouldn't. I don't know.

We think Georgia maybe? I was going to say Carolinas or Georgia would be my guess. Mm-hmm. But Tyler here in the office likes to do this, too, he told us. Oh, yeah? He does it with Dr. Pepper. He says it. a Texas thing.

Oh, you put fucking solid penis in your daughter pepper? She fucking fucking hates real good, man. Fuck yeah.

Give a try. Get you some, man. Try it. Try it. Hey, baby. I just want to reach out to you

let you know that I really sincerely apologize for this, you know. I understand. Alcoholism, it was a disease,

and I really want to apologize again that I peed in the oven. I really thought I was raising up the lid. I'm really sorry, baby. But I love you, can you please come back home? This is one of the best things I've ever seen.

Because it is for a person. Yeah. But he publicly posted it. Number one. Check. And I really sincere. Here's the thing. I really apologize for pissing in the oven. He goes, I really thought I lifted the lid.

So is he saying I was sleepwalking? And I thought I lifted the lid of a toilet and pissed in the oven? Or is he saying, I know I pissed in the oven and I'm sorry. I thought I was pissing on the oven. You know what I mean? Like, there's a, but you understand? I understand. I know it's we're home here now. Like this is another. I really thought I lifted the lid. Yeah. That makes me think that he was like, no, I thought I peed in the toilet. I was sleepwalking. So we don't know what's going on here. Are you following me guys? Yes. It's a logic problem. No, we understand. Because she's like, what the fuck you pissed in the oven? Yeah.

And he's like, baby, you know how I sleep walking. Sometimes I think the oven's the toilet, you know. I've been peeing in ovens for 35 hours. I don't understand. Makes complete sense to me. Right? Yeah, it's like they made a rule. He said lid.

The lid at least has to be up. And you forgot? Yeah, yeah. The lid has to be up. In the oven? Yeah. I mean. Because it's either that he thought.

thought the oven was the toilet. Yes, yes. Or he's like, I know you're cool with me pissing on the stove. Oh my God. But I accidentally pissed in the oven, you know. The only way it makes sense is if he's such a drunk that he, you know, he just does this all the time. All the time. Oh, that's what it is.

As long as the fucking oven lit is up, fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. That's what it is. And then it's, please come home. Please come home. Yeah.

He's been drinking too much. And he got it. Yeah. Like, look, if my dad had hair. Yeah. that's the kind of shit he'd say Yeah for sure I've heard him say Please go back home

I've heard that exact I'm like oh this is a drunk This is a drunk Yeah drinks Yeah this is everywhere This isn't from gay to bed For sure No

Piss is everywhere Yeah my dad pissed in my shoes one time No He does yep He does some shit See Really? Nice shoes too

Damn Drunk? Yeah But just like Because fuck you Or just because I'm pissing anywhere No he just does that Again it was like

You kind of just know that if he's super fucked up when he comes on, he's going to pissing somewhere where he's not supposed to. That's nuts. It could be in the closet, it could be in shoes. The closet was a big one. The closet?

I think because there was a small space I caught my son a few years ago sleepwalking. And he was getting ready to pee started peeing in the closet. But I had to, you know, I was like, what are you doing? He was like, I could tell that I startled him.

He didn't know where he was. I also found him like one time he had gone to the bathroom. And then when he was done with the bathroom, bathroom. I watched him walk into the living room, get on the couch and like, get ready to go. I go, hey, you're in the living room. He was like, what? I was like, you're in the living room. He was sleepwalking, you know? That's why, like, that's what I thought about sleepwalking with this. But I think the drunk story is much more fun. The drunk connection. Yeah. Maybe. Please come home.

I'm sick of pissing in the oven, too. Please. You know, I love you. You know, I love you. You know, I'm piss in the mailbox. That's what he, this is what it is. I know. I know. I'm not. I'm I pissed everywhere, and I'm done with that shit. That's in the past. Yeah, yeah. No more pissing. No more pissing. Just come home, baby.

This year, I'm pissing in the toilet. All right, we got to wrap it up. This was a lot of fun. It's beautiful. Please check out the end. Ari Shafir's final storytelling show with an incredible lineup. It's on YMH Studios.com. Please see Christina P. on tour.

She's going to be in Austin, Irving, Texas, Denver, Colorado and Chicago, and those are all at ChristinaP.online.com. Just ChristinaP.com. Sorry, it's ChristinaP.com. And I think that's it. We'll see you guys very soon. Bye, ma'amie.

Hi. Hi, I'm Roxanne De Palma, and I want to know who out there is curious about Ecoset. What? What? One, two, three, four. What the fuck is Ecosax?

The wind in your hair in itself to really let your fingertips run across the tree bark and feel it, eroticness. Now you get the penis out. Rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, now you get the penis out. Girl, get your life.