Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798

Episode Date: February 19, 2025

SPONSORS: Go to https://shopify.com/momshouse to upgrade your selling today. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at https://MintMobile.com/mom. Sign up now and join the over 13 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $22 billion dollars with Acorns. Head to https://acorns.com/YMH or download the Acorns app to get started. Hey Hitlers this week the Main Mommies got some stories for you! They took a trip to Sedona to chill out, they tried out a sound bath, Tina farted in somebodies face, and o'l Tommy Bunz even tried DMT, cause why the fuggg not? We open the show with a clip revealing Victoria's REAL secret, before Tim and Christine check out some clips featuring the talented whistler Ralph Giese, another funny way to say Bert Kreischer, the dangers of holding in farts, and some white ladies standing up for black women. Speaking of black chicks, who are you more afraid of: black chicks, cholas, or white boys? They also speculate on why the service industry isn't as strong post-COVID and Christina makes a plea for Candace Owens to come on to discuss the conspiracy theory about the French Prime Minister's wife being a man. All this and more...this week on Your Mom's House! Your Mom’s House Ep. 798 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:45 - Sedona Sound Bath & The Queen Of Farts 00:08:49 - Try It Out Tommy 00:17:14 - Opening Clip: Victoria's REAL Secret 00:21:10 - Clip: Whistling The Hits 00:24:12 - Clip: Bert Kershire 00:27:11 - Clip: Danger Farts 00:30:40 - Clip: Trust Black Women 00:32:44 - Clip: BIPOC Anthem 00:35:16 - Clip: Charo Disney Employee 00:36:13 - The Service Industry 00:43:59 - Clip: This Guy Really Hates Guy 00:58:35 - Happy Birthday Drive-Thru Pranks 01:01:54 - Clip: Jaden Smith's Castle Hat 01:02:26 - Goth Tom 01:04:35 - Clip: Spirit Airlines Throw Down 01:06:08 - Black Chicks, Cholas, & White Boyz 01:14:46 - Clip: Eye Witness News 01:17:08 - Clip: Are You Dating A Misandrist? 01:19:28 - Clip: Open Defacation TED Talk 01:23:33 - A Message To Candace Owens 01:30:44 - Some TikToks 01:34:30 - Closing Song: "10 Milli Tom" by Rick G Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. You hear that? Ugh, paid. And done. That's the sound of bills being paid on time. But with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card, paying your bills could sound like this. Yes! Earn rewards for paying your bill in full

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Yeah. Tommy. Yeah. Tommy. Yeah. Would? Yeah? Tommy? Yeah? Would you marry your dad? Just like, just like, a gaze. Just like, just like, a gaze.

Just like, just like, a gaze. Just like, just like, a gaze. Tommy, would you marry your son? Yes, of course. My god, I wish I could. Tommy, would you marry your son? Uh, yes, of course. My god, I wish I could. Tommy, would you marry your dad? Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course I would do it.

Christina, would you marry your son? Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. Would you marry your dad? Yeah, of course. I live for this kind of shit. Yeah.

Just like, just like the gays. Just like, just like the gays. Just like, just like the gays. I feel good now. You got it. Just like the gays. Just like, just like the gays. Would you marry your mom? No. Come on.

I think I'd marry my dad. Okay. Christina, would you marry your mom? I don't know. Please. No. Would you marry your mom? Hmm, I don't know. Please. No. Would you marry your dad? Yeah. Of course.

Yeah, for sure. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I really would. I really would. Tommy. Just like, just like the gays.

Tommy. Just like, just like the gays. Tommy. Just like, just like the gays. Tommy. This is so good. Would you marry your dad? Tommy.

Tommy. It's an appropriate song for some of the subjects today. Man. Today's going to be just rocking. We're on fire. We're rolling. There's so much to get into. There's so many interesting stories that some might not even expect that are going to be

discussed today. Some revelations, things revealed in the world. I'm so excited. The third apocalypse, the third eagle of the apocalypse. Satanic. Revelations, isn't his show something like that? Yeah, the third eagle of the apocalypse. Yeah, William Tapley, he often talks about-

Vote for the Donald. He is a man. Yeah. Third eagle, yeah, and he's always in front of those birds. So upsetting that he won't reach out to us. I know, it's like, we support him, we support his platform. We're all about his stuff.

Wish he'd fucking get it. I love you, I miss you. You've been gone for so long. Yeah. What? What are you thinking? You're thinking about something else? Yeah, I was looking at something on the board there.

But, yeah, it's been a very busy, very busy time. Oh wait, now you're back. Now I'm back. Before that we went to- Queer and back, I'm here. Polly and Bi, we went to Sedona for a little getaway to get away from our children for a few days. That was awesome.

That was amazing. Sedona is a beautiful place. It is a high vibration place, the aliens, there are vortexes, I visited a vortex alone You did not join company. That's okay and We went on a spiritual journey. It was a spiritual journey and we even experienced a sound bath I

Enjoyed the sound bath. Did you this was your first one. I loved it. You did. I really did. Did you go on a journey in your mind? Actually, yes. Tell me where you went. Can you share with us? No, but what I'll say is that I'll say what I told

the sound bath lady, Echo, is that she was like, just let yourself go where it goes. And I went everywhere. You go into space? I went into space, but I mean, I had thoughts of like, there was times I was thinking about our kids, a lot about you, friends, feelings. Like it was a real visual kind of journey

that I let the sound kind of guide me. What did you think about us? Were you like, how do I murder? How do I kill? How do I conceal the bodies? No. Cause I feel like that's a reprieve from what normally goes on in your brain. Which is, I mean, yesterday I was watching the new Bridget Jones movie. Yeah. And you came in and you were like, the chick stuff.

And I'm like, how did I say it? This stupid ass gay chick stuff. Yeah. And, and you were disappointed because there's no murder. Yeah, I was like, who gets killed. Yeah. And you were disappointed because there's no murder. Yeah, I was like, who gets killed in this? And you were like, nobody. I was like, oh, I don't want to watch this. Yeah, because what goes on in your mind all day is what goes on in there. So the sound bath must have been a pretty crazy thing for you.

It was enjoyable, though. I really enjoyed it. Yeah. It was like the, I don't know, Yeah, it was like the I don't know It probably how long only the last 30 minutes something like that. Maybe an hour. Okay, this is probably the only hour I didn't think about death In a long time, yeah You know what? I liked is she had so I don't know if you've ever done a sound bath people here

But it was fucking cool. It's so fun cuz they have different sound different sounds like one is like a rain It was fucking cool. It's so fun because they have different sounds. One is like a rain sprinkler. So see that, if you scroll up there, that second lady with, so it's sort of like that setup. She had all these types of instruments, right? Bowls, chimes. Objects that would make, and then you lay down, you cover your eyes, which I'm a big fan of.

I love eye covers. And you're comfortable and then sounds begin. Well, hold on, Echo told us, that was our lady, our sound guide. She before notified us that she would be calling in, remember this, spirits from other dimensions to assist us on our journey. And I was like, well, hold on,

I didn't authorize that kind of stuff. The interesting thing is some of those spirits sort of sounded like Mexican kitchen workers that were in the room next door. I was like, wow, are the sound spirits named Jose and Maria? Well, that was the fatal flaw of our sound bath is that it took place in a conference room in a hotel. And every now and then somebody would open the door.

Open the door. Oh, so sorry. He said, oh, okay, I closed the door. Open the door. Oh, I'm so sorry. He say, oh, okay. I closed the door. Oye, Juan Jose, why don't you come in? And then we were like, oh, okay. Kind of took us out of the moment of the journey. But then I would lose myself in it again.

Yeah, it's easy to get back in. And I like the sounds, they sound like little twinkles. Like twinkle, and then she walks around you. Yeah, so you would also, they would get real loud. Doom, doom, doom. you're like, whoa. And then you'd hear it fade to the next person. Yeah, and then I was so worried you would fart because it's at a higher altitude, Sedona,

and we all had altitude farts. But somebody was kind of the leader in that department. Do you remember who that was? Is it me? That was you, yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Tell me, tell me. Well. I like that you're supportive of.

I wouldn't call it support. It was probably the boldest thing that I don't even know if you were aware that you did it cause it was so offensive that somebody was outdoors reading a book by a fire pit clearly in just the most relaxed, enjoyable state. This woman was happy. She was at peace.

She's reading outside, the climate was cool, but it was nice, the fire, and she's reading a book. And you walked right next to her and farted in her face. You farted in her face. You farted in her face. And your ass was at her face level. And you just were like, hope you're enjoying the book. Like right in her face.

Basically. And then she was just went like. She really did. Yeah, of course. She was like. That's your interpretation of what happened. For me, it was just, I was trying to impress you, trying to get on your level. Did you notice her before you did that?

No. Did not. Don't care. It's my vacation. This was my time in Sedona. Don't care. I was connecting with higher vibrations. Vibrations are what she felt too.

I didn't know. I honestly did not know that I farted on a woman. It merited an apology, just so you know. Really? Absolutely. I did not. You shouldited an apology, just so you know. Really? Absolutely. I did not. You should have been like, I'm so embarrassed, excuse me, yeah.

Oh gosh, now I feel bad. Yeah, well yeah. I did not know that, I really didn't know that. You farted in her face. Yeah. She heard whole week got ruined, yeah. What did she look like? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, this is not my fault. Thank you for bringing this up, Josh. He just Googled that gas and bloating at high altitudes are common and can be caused by a number of factors, including lower air pressure, trapped gas, and swallowing air. It's not my fault, is what I think Josh Zola was trying to say.

Thank you so much for being on my side here. I mean, you pushed it out. It wasn't like, oh, how did this happen? You pushed it up. I wanted to impress you What's so bad about wanting your spouse's approval? That's our love language, babe. That is true. I love I really enjoyed Sedona I like that you and I did that and then you went on a little bit of a psychedelic. I did a little extra journey I met a cool local

Name sage and they have the coolest names there Echo, Sage and I smoked DMT with them. Just a stranger at the place we were staying at but that's Sedona. Yeah and I gotta say visual journey. Tell me about it because I've never done that. I've never done that. I was scared of shit and yeah and he was like no dude you're not because I was just thinking shit. And yeah. I was scared too. And he was like, no dude, you're not. Cause I was just thinking, I always compare like something like that, anything that's presented to me, like mushrooms, or like ayahuasca, anything like,

I always think of edibles. And I'm like, man, you know how a strong edible will fucking like wreck you? Yeah dude. So I was like, that's all I keep going. That's my, for whatever reason, that's my reference point. I was like, I was like, that's all I keep going. That's my for whatever reason. That's my reference point. I was like I Was like, oh man, cuz people talk about like breakthroughs and and you know these journeys I'm like, is this gonna be like a

fucking 200 milligram edible He kept saying no, but like also like yeah, but but prepare your you know, I was like all right, and I I was worried about it and I was like fuck and so we sat by this fire pit. There was no one farting and we just sat there What's the point? I know and Then I guess DMT pure DMT has a lower burning point. What does that mean? that Like the you don't need a high flame for it to...

Yo, I didn't even know you light it like crack. I mean I didn't think of crack. I thought of... How do you take it? It's like a pipe? Yeah, I put it in a pipe. Oh my god, dude. Like opium or fucking crack? Yeah, so he was like, you know, you were smoking crack? I was like, yeah.

Who has it? And so what they do is they put the DMT in the packet around weed so that yes What does the DMT look like is it sticky like open white Yeah, like crack crack crack crack. Yeah, you smoked rocks, bro. Yeah, I don't know about you But I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money too. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up from crazy high wireless bills,

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Tier one compensation provided investing involves risk Acorns advisors LLC and sec registered Investment advisor view important disclosures at Acorns comm slash ymh. There it is. What what is DM? It's just like cool crack. Okay, so it's it's sprinkled in with pot so that you get see that the pot alone would make me crazy Can you do it purely without I guess you can but it burns easier If you have the that's what it was told. All right, I'm not the I was too scared to touch it I know you were like, do you want to go into the forest with this guy? I met Yeah, dude They got DMT pins now, yeah, they got the empty

Yeah, this is my first time so I've been offered the pens before, I haven't done it, but anyway, he was like, you know, he was like, get naked, and I was like, okay, and he's like, you know, I'll sit on your lap, this will make you relax. So once we got like... And a massage, sexual massage. Yeah, and just kind of, but no, totally not sexual, actually. Just like perineum, like you just rub each other's prostate and you're like, all right, I'm ready, I'm ready.

And then... Will Blunderfeld there? No, no, no, no, not like that. But then, so we kiss a little bit and then he gives me the pipe and... Wait, his name is Sage. Yeah, he goes, take three hits. Three hits? Yeah, he goes, take three hits. Three hits?

Yeah, he goes, after the second one, you're not gonna want the third one, but you need the third one. That's what he said. But you need it. You're not gonna want it, but you need it. Yeah, I was like, okay, so I pulled the first one. He was like, ooh, that's a good pull.

And then I was like, gosh, and then second one, he's like, and now the third, do that third. Dang. I was like, okay like, and now the third. Do that third. Dang. I was like, okay. And I did the third. And yeah, I felt like something was holding you down in the seat, like I couldn't really move. Sounds terrible.

You were in a chair. Yeah, I was in a chair. Comfortable. Okay, so you're like, you go back in your chair, like heroin kind of, and you feel heavy? Yeah, kind of, yeah. Yeah, kind of heavy in the head and I couldn't open my eyes. Did that scare you? No, because the visuals were started to become like really cool. In your brain. Yeah. Like you're popping in your brain. Yeah, you're seeing. Like neurons and stuff. All kinds of shapes and colors and you know I saw a

bunch of like so this red caterpillar that had like fire going around. You're not telling me tell me the truth. I swear. A caterpillar. Yeah a red one. Like Alice in Wonderland. Like fire red yeah. That's tight. Yeah and things were like moving and then bones that were turning in circles and then I was like really enjoying it and then one time he was oh we did it a second time so then he was like really enjoying it and then one time he was uh, oh we did it a second time so then he was like I don't know if you really got the full thing let's do it again so we did it a second time and he put more in there and then on the second time I was really like whoa seeing all this shit and then he goes wait after I was over he's like what you see there

I go why he goes you went like this I was like oh watching you yeah, what'd you see there? I go, why? He goes, you went like this. I was like, oh. You're just watching you? Yeah, he was watching. What a creep. I go, there was a blue dragon that kept trying to bite. He goes, yeah, cause you went. And then the next day when I saw him walk around, he went.

Did he cup your balls to comfort you? Yeah, he was just like, come in my hand. And that's what I did. Cause he gave you drugs that floored you? Yeah, he was just like, come in my hand. Yeah. That's what I did. Because he gave you drugs that floored you, and then he was watching you fry, like watching you take a journey. Yeah. That doesn't sound remotely good. Well, he was jacking off.

So that's what he was, yeah. Shit, we haven't even opened the show. Hold on. I've got so many more questions. Well, those are the end of your questions. Here we go. Let's open the show. I'm outside Victoria's secret.

The secret is that I just took a diarrhea in the dressing room because I ate too much orange chicken. Oh, so good. I get it. I love that on track. That's the secret. I'm fucking with you. Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow I didn't even tell you what happened to me in my vortex. Yeah. Did I?

So I went to a vortex in Sedona. It's a spiritual location in Sedona where you get downloads and you know, your high vibrations and I didn't get any. But I got to see a bird fly at like my eye level, bro, like a fucking black crow. It was like chilling like right there. And I was like, oh, that was worth it. That was tight.

You ever seen a fucking crow fly like right at your fucking eye level? Yeah, dude. You know what I'm saying? I was too scared to do drugs, but I tripped out on a fucking bird, bro. It was like talking to me. He was all, he's all let go, dude. You know what I'm saying? I was too scared to do the drugs, but I I tripped out on the fuck That's okay, bro. It was like talking to me. He was all he's all let go bitch. I asked sage for more DMT Like sense them bro, oh because you know what I've done LSD in my formative years. Yeah

But I don't need to see stuff Okay, that's that's I'm happy for you yeah I enjoyed it learn anything no it was just like it was a nice but it was a good experience yeah I enjoyed it yeah it was the opposite of scary that's nice that is scary okay okay so this this I have so many thoughts about this opening clip yeah I. I mean, first of all, Orange Chicken at Panda Express. That's Victoria's secret. I understand she's in a mall, clearly. She went to the food court. Yeah. Get it. Why not find a toilet? I've had diarrhea in the mall here at the domain. One time I was at Free People and I felt diarrhea coming on.

You know what I did? I left and I looked for a toilet and I found like, malls have toilets. So my question is, was she trying on a thong? And- Don't think so. I'm looking, I don't think it was a thong. I don't think she's trying on stuff, Victoria.

I think she went in there just to shit in the dressing room. Shut the front door. I mean, look at her. Who does that? Her? What do you think that lays above shit on stuff at Victoria. I think she went in there just to shit in the dressing room. Shut the front door. I mean, look at her. Who does that? Her. What do you think, that lady's above shitting where she shouldn't shit? But then, is she shitting in her pants?

No, no, no. She's pulling down her pants and then going into the room. She went from Panda Express to Victoria's Secret. First of all, this woman's a fucking menace. Why? What's wrong with those? What's wrong? What do you mean? That's not the two-stop a fucking menace. Yeah. What's wrong with those? What's wrong? What do you mean?

That's not the two stop way to do things. Oh. Panda Express, then go, I'm gonna go to the lingerie store? That's true. I don't think so. You should flip the order. Yeah. You buy your lingerie first.

First, and then you fill up with diarrhea food. Yeah. Panda Express is so goddamn good though. Sure. That orange chicken. No one's mad at that. God damn. But she's gnarly.

That's the secret. She has nice hair, Tom. She has nice hair. She has nice hair. Have you ever shot in a dressing room? No. I haven't either. By the way, you wanna do like a little vibe shift

real quick? Of course. Okay, I'll just here, I'll give you something to like shift you into a good. Just give me that. There we go, here we go. Oh yes! He's drinking Joe too. Wow. Oh my god. How long can he sustain that?

I don't know. How do you do this? So crazy so I look I look this up yeah, but it because I don't know what's happening sure it's throat whistling But I've never even heard because whistling typically you see people with their lips right like the sound He can whistle from here. I don't even understand that. I don't understand it either, what a skill. I don't understand how it happens. I don't either. And how he manipulates, I mean, how he manipulates.

Well that's how he calibrates the sounds. Right, but how does it even start, you know? I was a blues man when this shit came out. Hell yeah. Rock and roll was so fucked up back then. Right. Whoa. Oh, I love this song.

Oh, Guns N' Roses? Sweet child of mine, yeah. Oh, wow. Holy sh- I would pay to see him do a concert of all my favorite songs. I bet you can. You think he could cover Bauhaus or The Cure? Oh wow. I wish he would do Belle of Legosi's Dead. That's a long one.

Okay, here's what it says online. To whistle with your throat, also called throat whistling, you essentially create a constriction in your throat by manipulating your vocal cords while directing a stream of air through a specific mouth position Usually with a slightly open mouth and a flattened tongue near the bottom teeth allowing the air to vibrate and produce a whistling sound This technique requires practice and precise control of your throat muscles and tongue placement and now everybody Let's all see everybody try to throat whistle You try Tom

Any No, I can't do it. Give it a shot. Just try. Yeah, I mean this guy, when you talk about like unique talents for real. Yeah. There's nobody that can do what this guy does. I've never even met a throat whistle. Neither have I. None of my friends have ever been like you want, hey you you wanna see some shit? No. And drop the throat whistle. Nobody, I mean, I've had friends

that can do the two fingers and thumb and shh. That is also when people do that. Yeah. And it sounds like. I feel like Burt can do that. Doesn't Burt do that? Or he goes like that, shh, shh, shh. Like he does that.

Who? Burt, Krish, Krishna? Doesn't he do that? This guy? What's up everybody, man? We are sitting here in the NOLA, the Big Easy, at Super Bowl 59, man. The biggest event in America.

Sitting right next to Burk Herschard. I can't pronounce the last name. Burk Hweiser. Burk Hweiser. Burk Herschard. Just, he can't win. That bit is fucking 15. I'm going to go with the Mm-hmm. Nobody can get it. And look at his face. He's first like, uh, yeah. Here we go. At the Super Bowl.

I love that part of his head goes, I thought it was famous enough for someone to get it right. It's amazing. Berkershire. Oh, fuck. That's why I changed my last name from Pujitsky to P. That was a good call. By the way, buy my lipstick, christinap.com.

She get all four colors at the same time. I'm wearing Berlin today. That's the darkest, perfect red, atomic red, Madison. Someone came up to me this weekend. Yes. Goes, I never wear a red lipstick. And I go, okay. And she goes, I bought Christina's.

She goes, that's the only red that I've ever worn. She goes, I love it. Cause it's the perfect one. It is perfect. It's not too chalky. It's not too runny. It lasts just the right amount of time in my estimation. So try it out, christina p.com.

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Yes, and the price was fantastic and people think I spent a fortune, but I didn't. Well, that's kind of the nice thing about having Blue Nile. If you're popping the big question, it's a huge moment, but no one warns you about the endless decisions that come with finding the big question. It's a huge moment, but no one warns you about the endless decisions that come with finding the perfect green. Shape, size, style, setting, cut, color, clarity, caret, Jesus, so many things you have to think about. She knows what she wants, so it's time to catch up. You start at bluenile.com. At bluenile.com, you can create a stunning engagement ring that's bigger and more brilliant than you'd expect at a price traditional jewelers can't match. Since 1999, they've been the go-to online jeweler, always committed to the highest ethical standards

when sourcing diamonds and jewelry. Plus, with their diamond price guarantee, they'll usually meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond. Right now, get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more with the code YOURMOM at bluenile.com $50 off with the code your mom at blue Nile calm blue Nile calm um What else I'm gonna say to you? There is this fart thing that you might like yeah, that maybe I always like fart things why should you never hold in a fart? You know farts is a gas, you know, it's a chemical it's a bunch of chemicals and when you hold in a fart. You know, farts is gas, you know, it's a chemical, it's a bunch of chemicals. And when you hold in a fart, there's a percentage of that fart vapor, which will diffuse through the walls

of the colon through the walls of the intestine. The what? The colon? And eventually it will go to your bloodstream. Oh shit. And all the blood circulates and eventually goes to the lungs Where the waste products are then exhaled out? So there's a tiny percentage of your fart Which if you hold it in will go to your bloodstream go to the lungs and then be exhaled out So you will have a breathe it you're gonna breathe it instead of farting it if you don't fart it You will exhale fart so you will literally breathe out fart fumes if you hold it in. It's physiology, it's science. Science, baby, this is what we're here for.

That is horrifying. Yeah, so you did that lady a favor, I guess. I did her a big favor. Do you know that there's couples? By the way, that's Chris. Yes. And I did his podcast, if you don't know, it's called Modern Wisdom.

Yes. I just did it a couple weeks ago. Very sweet. I've met him at the mothership. Really nice guy. Yeah, super sweet. There's couples that don't fart in front of each other and couples that hold in farts for years and years.

Can you imagine? I know. Well, I've heard that, cause I've heard people go, oh, when you meet somebody, I go, what do you do? And they're like, well, you know, you excuse yourself or you leave them. Like for, what if you have like a bunch of farts?

You just keep get up and you leave over and over. It's kind of weird, right? It just seems like, like a hard way to live your entire life with another person, excuse me. Oh, and he's one of these. Ew. Don't you have like, you have a policy, right? A girl can't fart in front of you?

No, no, I didn't say that. I thought you told me before that you were completely against a girl ever farting in front of you. No, there was a time that a girl burped in my face and I almost broke up with her. So I was like, that shit ain't funny. But, no, I don't care about farts. Also, that thing with the breathing shit don't make sense

because how you gonna not breathe in the fart when you fart? You already breathing it in, what you mean? Wait, what are you saying? What you're saying is if you fart, if you fart you already breathing it. Oh wow, I didn't even think about that. So you're afraid of partial breathing of fart that you didn't fart?

Oh my God, there's no in situation. You breathing it regardless. Well look, you may as well enjoy the sound that the fart makes and laugh. Why not have a laugh at the same time as you're breathing and fart? Oh, speaking of farts, Tom, I remember you were hyped about the fart walk, right? Yes, yes. He can fart. He goes... As you walk, right?

I was wondering if you've, if you've, the other day I experienced, I think, the optimal fart walk. What's that? It's a fart walk downstairs. Oh, wow. As you go down the stairs. Yo. Because as you go down, you got to spread it, it spreads your cheeks further. That's right. And you're going the next step. Yo. Because it gets real musical. Yeah. The pitch changes more than a flat road fart walk. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I've had one. I don't know if I've had one. Oh, no, I've done that, yeah.

The fart stair walk. The fart stair walk is cool. Wow, I don't think I could relax enough to do that. Sometimes too, if you jog. Oh, yeah. So it's more of a fart jog. Sure. Also, the movement is a little more than a walk stride.

So you'll hear different pitches. It's pretty cool. Yeah. That's really cool, Tom. It's very cool yeah that's really cool Tom it's very cool it's black history month and in any congratulations oh yeah thanks guys in honor of you our black brothers and sisters we bring you this gift. Alright. Trust black women, they lead the way. White women, stop abandoning your sisters. Trust black women, they lead the way. Oh, we're mad as hell.

Oh, can't you tell? Oh, we're mad as hell. Can't you tell? We just stand to fucking fashion. Okay. So cool. That's a great, that's in the Castro, it looks like. Queering out the women, they were queering out the dudes. Yeah. Hitler burned queer books.

You know, this comes right off the tail of... Yeah. You know, this comes right off the tail of... Yeah. Black and Indigenous, Creole and Romani. Do I sound like that? Dude, that's fantastic. I've been listening to it on a roll. It sounds like it. Yeah.

The African-Americans, Puerto Rican and not the Jews, because nobody likes them. Well, that's... Everybody else is included. Creole. Creole. Romani. Creole. Before Hitler got on map, he was a guy to go fishing with. That's what I'm saying. That's the craziest sentence I've ever heard. Before Hitler got on map. You know what it sounds like? It sounds like Stevie. Old Stevie.

It's exactly the same. Cat's Fist and Bash loves frogs. I'm smart. I know what's to do. Yeah. He sounds just like Stevie. That's true. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. This is a powerful song. We gotta learn this. Yeah, this one's really cool. Follow your black sisters. Yeah, that is. It's funny, it's always white ladies taking up this cause.

They always take up everybody else's cause's always white ladies taking up this cause. They always take up everybody else's cause. The white ladies, huh? Yeah. These fucking ladies, these broads. Do you think these broads fuck? Oh, here we go. Black and indigenous people of color.

Black and indigenous people of color. Lesbian, gay, bi gay by transgender and queer. Yep lesbian gay by transgender Pacific Islanders Romani, and Creole. Romani's. Latino, Hispanic, Romani, and Creole. You're Latino. How come she's good at regular Asians? Just Asian-American? We all have a place in this world.

She didn't say black, did she? Yeah. That was the first word. African-American. Oh, it was African-American. We all have a place in this world. There was no Jewish mention though. That is interesting.

She mentioned everybody. Oh my, I felt that anti-Semitism. Kind of makes you wonder. I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy. Yeah, that's kind of strange to list everybody. Dude, she didn't list the Jews. Yeah. Or Palestinians.

Did she list Muslims? I didn't hear that. Wow, she did not, Tom. It's actually I didn't hear that. Wow. She did not, Tom. It's actually a very not inclusive song. Wow. You specifically left out two very- Big groups. Big, small groups.

Right. Yeah. She's so full of hate, but she made it all about the gays. It says about the gays. The first part of the song is just about the gays. And then she goes into the people of color. Shameless. But then she lumps in Creole with Latin and Hispanic. Wait, hold on.

Latin and Hispanic aren't the same? Aren't you guys all... No. What's the difference between Latin and Hispanics? Well, here's a little geography lesson for you. Latin encompasses Latin America, which is the basic, what you know as... Not this America, I'll tell you that. So like kind of further down south.

And Hispanic would be Hispano- like Spain. Oh, I did not know that. The Spanish people are Hispanic. Didn't know that. I just lumped you guys all in, speaking your fucking dirty, whatever language. Hispanics are not Latin. Not European is what I called it. Okay.

Yeah. Well, there's Christina for you guys. She did not include. Yeah. She didn't include my people. Slovakian, Romanian. Yeah, there's a lot of people she left out. Hungarians.

Come on, man. She's full of hate. People are saying, by the way, speaking of Latins, people are saying this is Charro at Disney. Have you seen this? That's her. That's her. Nightmare.

And that's me. Sit. You like that picture? Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Sit, they turn off side. Ha ha ha ha. Is that Char true? No.

Your mom's way classier. I'd like to say something. I'm not a Disney adult by any stretch. Is this Disneyland? This appears to be Disneyland, correct? Not Disney World. Last time we were at Disneyland,

I felt that it wasn't indicative of a real classy Disney experience. Like these work, the people they're hiring now are not upholding the Disney brand. They're being rude, they're being like too casual. Welcome to the fucking new world, dude. This is everything. I don't like it. This is everything after COVID, honestly.

You think, what is that? It's just like they can't find people. Yes. Like normal people. Yeah. This is disgusting. You get these bottom You think, what is that? It's just like they can't find people, like normal people. This is disgusting. You get these bottom feeders working everywhere now. You get these, I'm serious. Every fucking service person is dog shit now.

They're the worst. And I'm talking to you, if you have a job like that, you suck. Jesus Christ, Tom. No, they're not all suck. They're all fucking losers. No. Yeah, they are. Yeah, they are, Yeah, they are. You guys are the worst.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. Disneyland workers who flip their tongues out at you. No, they suck. She doesn't get included. No, because when we took our boys to Disney last year, I noticed that, that the staffers, they're not upholding the Disney vibe anymore. Yeah.

That's terrible. No, it's not the same. It's not the same. But I was making the comment more seriously about the service industry. It is, it's totally different now. Oh stop. It hasn't bounced back. Definitely not.

You don't feel that anymore. Any type of like go to restaurants, hotels, airlines, every place that like there's some... Airlines are always atrocious. But it's worse. It's all worse. It's way worse. Airlines are garbage. The hotels are worse

Restaurants are worse because I don't leave the house as much anymore because people Left who had some of these jobs and they replaced it with the fucking B squad actually like the C squad Yeah, so that's that's who has the job now. Yeah. Yeah, it sucks. Um, we had a waiter You remember the waiter. Yeah. In Sedona who like. How do I describe what it was like? It was like too much and he had like rehearsed.

He had bits, he had bits. I hate the bits, I hate the, I've been a server at high, like a high end French restaurant, I've been a server, I've been a cocktail waitress, I've worked at many levels. I don't know what the, yes. And there's a way to give service to people where it's not disingenuous, like, hey, how are you? I can tell you didn't like that a bunch.

Or like, he had stock lines for everything, I hated it. As somebody that makes fun of people all the time, I can't mock those people in front of them. Do you know what I mean? Well, it's mean, yeah. I don't, yeah. Is it like just a nice thing that I'm doing? Yes, because it's mean.

Because I sympathize with and I just go along and I never mock them. That guy, man, it starts with, just like the approach to the table. He goes, hey, um, like, yeah, it's too much. Jeff, we take care of you guys tonight. Where we in from? Where's everybody coming from? Right away I'm like, oh shit. But I still go, I don't mock them. I go, I'm coming from Austin. Austin, Longhorns. And he's like, yeah. And he's like, what are we celebrating? Whenever everybody tells me what are we celebrating, I always just go dinner.

Yeah. I don't know. We're just here guys. It's fucking hula hands. So it doesn't have to be a celebration. Birthdays, anniversaries, special occasion. I'm like, just dinner. It's evening.

I haven't eaten dinner yet. And then he's like, okay, right. And then he just runs through his bits and got a little special something here off the menu. Then he does like, oh yeah, there's like a seafood thing. He's like, it's not local because there's no ocean. And you're like, no, I know. We got the bit. He's like, flew it in.

But I promise, didn't come in last week and then he starts laughing and all his stuff and I'm like and you have to go like Because there's no ocean No, I know but I can't make I can't mock him. He's like Colin Robinson the emotional vampire Oh, yeah, we do in the shadows Like they waiters can drain you of your life supply. And he was, and I'll tell you something, as someone that's been a waitress.

He's a career waiter that guy. He is, and he provides excellent service. We'll say like the level of service was great. Like he totally did his job. But I think when you become the main character in someone's dinner, you're also robbing that table of them just having an experience at a restaurant. Cause now you're like the life of the party.

They don't need you to be the life of the party. You're just there to bring their food. And he's doing his best. That's, that's the other thing. I know, but as like I said, like he doesn't need to, and every five seconds you're like, pardon my reach. Like it's fine. You don't need to pardon the reach.

Just get the cup out of my fucking life. Okay. And then they give 500 plates for one thing. You know what I mean? Like just fucking, it's okay. You don't have to come every Tuesday. Everything okay? I have everything tasting.

Like just shut the fuck up. Don't worry. Everybody still good? You still good. Yeah, I'm fucking still good. I'll let you know. It's too much service. And can I, what I learned in a French restaurant

when I worked at a French restaurant, you know what they teach you in a French restaurant? Is that when you're not bringing food to tables or waiting, you just stand in the room. You stand up against the wall with your hands, you know. Yeah. And if they need you, they call you. Well, you read people, right?

You read body language. Yeah, you're just looking, you just just look that's because you know what that takes So because I learned this about I learned this from so ACME Comedy Club is one of the best comedy clubs in the country so for people that don't know how the way the way most comedy clubs work is You're on stage right you're performing Everybody has ordered that everyone knows about to drink minimum right and then this thing that all comedians get to know, the check drop. What that means is usually like 45 minutes into the headliner set, every server will drop the check for the people to pay before the show ends.

And it always destroys the momentum of what you're doing on stage. The most comedy clubs don't care. They're just like, who cares? Time to get that money. So you're on stage, you're like in the middle of, let's say like your best, most well-structured bit. It's a closer, cause you're working it. Yeah, you're working towards your closer.

And then they're just like, you gotta, well, you gotta pay. Is that a visa? We don't take American, like, like, you're like, cool. And then you just deal with it, right? So you just what ended up happening is as a season Comedian you start to learn that like if that check drop happens pivot to something that doesn't need their focus Yes, because they can't focus while they're paying their bill. So anyway, like the first time I did ACME I was like a member I got off stage and I was like I

Was like man everybody paid attentionME I was like a member I got off stage and I was like I was like man everybody paid attention I was like What's that? Is there no check drop here and they're like, oh no there is and I'm like, wait a minute I didn't notice though. Yeah, and they go. Oh, no, we give people their checks Throughout the show depending on their pattern of ordering and consuming and I was like there you go So what they're doing is let's say somebody has a beer and then their second one, they're nursing it. And it's 20 minutes into the show, they will just quietly put the bill there

and they go, this person's not gonna be consuming. Somebody else, let's say orders a bucket of beers, they go, well, that's all they're gonna order. So then they give them their bill Yeah, 18 minutes in so it's staggered so that like when that 45 minute 50 minute time comes There's not a massive drop there just and I was like, oh, but what it takes is like thought nuance and train and they train the Servers they go watch the person. Yeah, like watch how do it, and then drop it at the appropriate time. Right, because let's say, God forbid,

the guy with the six bucket of beers wants more alcohol. Great, reopen the check. Yeah, do it again. And then I'd rather take the time as a server to reopen a check in the middle of the show, versus at the very end of the night having a stack of fucking, you have to close out everybody's bill.

It's a lot of work. And then there's always like, well how does the person respond to the bill sort of like this guy you know You It's guy theory those be listening by the way a dollar for sauces is ridiculous those should be complementary So this is this is Posted by Dan a serial entrepreneur small small business advisor, and YouTuber. He's complaining about prices at Guy Fieri's restaurant.

I'll say this, I love Guy Fieri. I think he's a fucking, I think he's a fantastic person. I loved when I met him and hung out with him. He was so gracious and so cool. I'm wondering, because of the noise here in the background, first of all, it sounds very busy. It sounds like a lot of people are paying $70 Yeah, two chicken sandwiches and two waters. Yeah

This feels like Vegas pricing, which is standard. Yeah, I guess everything is like what you want to like a basket of fries It's $40. Well, and by the way, I've eaten at Guy Ferry's restaurant in an airport outstanding. It's good. I really liked it I'll pay a dollar for a condiment. Okay, look, Hawaiian, I can't read this, my Motley Q. And I like that they name things money. Motley Q pulled pork sandwich, adorable. 23.99. That is a lot of money for a, is this in Vegas?

You're right. I don't know. That is a lot for a pulled pork sandwich? Yeah, but here's the thing. 23 bones. This is a tier of restaurants. Fuck, babe. A bacon mac and cheeseburger at 24.99.

Yeah, but this is my point though. Wow. This is not McDonald's. No, it's not. It's an upper. Yeah. But here's my thinking from a branding perspective. Yeah.

Guy Fieri I thought would appeal to a Maybe like not so high tier price point. You know what I'm saying? Oh, it's Vegas baby. It's not crazy Then it's not crazy. That's Vegas. Yeah Vegas, baby Vegas. Everything is like this. Yeah, this isn't all but also There's definitely a tier above this if you want to, if you're looking for high price items. Sure. You know, this is like. No, that's Vegas prices. That's pretty standard. You go anywhere else and you're going to pay this much

for crap like this. Absolutely. Yeah, this guy's stupid. If you go to Chili's in Vegas, you're going to pay this. Yeah, no, this is not fair to do. Ain't no thing but a chicken wing, man. Can I tell you what is kind of disturbing though is that Guy is holding the live chicken. And you're going to eat it?

Yeah. Maybe not. Like I would hold the live chicken. And you're gonna eat it? Yeah. Like maybe not. Like I would hold the cooked version. No. Cause you don't wanna think about the animal you're butchering. I'd put my arm around a cow and be like. Tom's a grouper at steak. Steaks.

Yeah. This guy's so mad. That's what I'm laughing at. This dude is so pissed off. It's the funniest thing. But he didn't see the prices before he ordered. You can look at the menu, bro. You don't gotta eat there, homie.

You look at the prices before you fucking. He's so mad. He's so mad. I don't know how you say it, but I swear to God, two chicken sandwiches, two waters, seven fucking dollars. That's a lot. Oh, by the way, you want sauces on your thing?

You're a dollar apiece. Fuck you, guys. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're a sack of shit. That's a lot. He's so mad. Can you go to his Instagram? Wow. It's I allegedly. I allegedly. is that right? Is that his? You know, we've all got our things. So what's he normally like?

What's he say here? I just wanted to say happy new year. I truly appreciate each and every one of you being part of I allegedly and subscribing to the channel and okay. I look forward to 2025 we're going to have an amazing year so much is gonna happen very different energy. He's normal here Yeah, and professional guys, you know what it is. You go to Vegas you put a few in him and he starts where he gets Look, he's happy in that one. The one you just clicked on there. Yeah, he's sauced up I'm on say kids shopping saying kids. They've got cigarettes

He's happy about smokes and they say smoking kills. So kids don't smoke. Okay, the smoking kills that is hilarious Look at this. I'll say Smoking kills that is hilarious guys. Look at this. I'll say Smoking kills smoking Yeah, they're not subtle about that in other countries right there They put pictures of lungs and says please be kind to everyone onward and upward all the best Fuck you guy Piece of shit. He really did not like getting that bill. Also, didn't he know the prices? That's what I said. Right?

I literally said that when we, yeah, like you can see the prices on the menu. Yeah. Before you order. So why is he shocked? He should just get up and leave. Right, because if they're like $23.99 each, yeah, dude. I mean, look, you and I were in Vegas when we were broke as Broke Comics. You know where we ate? Where? Chipotle, remember? Yeah. We ate where Chipotle remember?

Yeah, we did Chipotle every day a lot there. It's a lot there. You don't have to eat at guys place But he doesn't like Kamala. Let's see that I absolutely get a kick out of our politicians kick out of them saying things that are not questioned Kamala Harris Last week announced her economic plan and one thing she announced was that she was going to build three million low-cost Houses and apartments. That's fantastic guys. Think about this in a four-year term That would be fourteen hundred and sixty days if you divide that by three million It's two thousand sixty four a day that she would have to build

What oh Dan you're being a buzzkill. Come on man, you just gotta do it. He puts his own picture of him on. It's amazing. Guys, have accountability for these guys. It's that simple. We can't do the Oprah. You get a car, you get a car, you get a car.

Oh you don't get a car? He's having fun with stickers. Yeah. Slow down. I can't even do that in my videos. That's cool. No, it's not gonna happen. Okay. Oh, he's so clever.

Did you see that he gave that like, hmm, see how smart I am? Yep. Fuck you, Bill Maher. I got this down. I love when guys like him break it down for you too, the economics of stuff, Tom. I wanna see, I'd like it too.

This is like when your dad explains politics to you. This guy, yeah. I'd like to see him lose his shit like when your dad explains polyphobes to you I'd like to see him lose it. Oh, that's a cool American flag shirt. Oh, yeah Okay, here's the Christmas post do you think he's gonna complain that they don't say Merry Christmas where he's from or that they've forgotten Jesus What do you think though that video is it's gonna be There's some complaint about how America has gone south with Christmas. They've forgotten the real meaning. That's a big one. Yeah. That's where my money is. What is yours? I mean, I don't think you're wrong. Hey guys, it's that time of the year and I just want to be the first in your life to wish you guys a Merry Christmas. Okay. Okay.

It's never too early for Christmas. Okay. Okay. So I allegedly wishes everybody a Merry Christmas. This was posted in June. In June, okay? So Merry Christmas. Okay.

In June. In June. Real happy though. Yeah, I mean, he didn't say, I know he did say seasons greetings. Okay. I thought we'd get a rant about- Hashtag business. He didn't say, I know he did say seasons greetings. Okay. I thought we'd get a rant hashtag business

Fucking asshole fucking guy Fieri $70 Oh boy. Yeah, he's a real I think that's really the only time he's lost his shit in any of these I just really got him at a time that he really did not. What's about Popeyes? He's got a rant here. Let's see. So I was filming in Pasadena.

And as I was leaving, I was on the phone with a buddy and said, oh, wow, there's a Popeyes chicken. Haven't seen one of those in a while. And he's like, hey, could you do me a favor and stop and get some Cajun rice for me? And I remember their Cajun rice as being like a flavorful spicy rice with meat in it and stuff like that. Oh it's got rice and beans in it now sir. This is

their Cajun rice now. We just see the container. Okay. Yeah I'd like to see the product. Seven dollars and eleven cents. Oh. There we go. Seven dollars and eleven cents. Uh oh. For Cajun rice. Is that Looneyville guys? That's nuts. You wonder why families are suffering right now. Because they can't get the rice at Popeyes? What does this guy want prices to be? Let me know what you think about that. I don't understand what he thinks everything should cost.

And you don't have to eat at Popeyes. Who can afford these ridiculous fast food prices? Nobody can afford this. This is why they are going out of business why they are good and going out of business What are they going out of business? I don't know. I don't think so Okay, I mean, okay, what is it is it because he's a business page It's his advice like look start a business never charge a lot for anything and then you'll be good Like how does he advise people?

Okay, this guy's fucking... No, Popeyes is not going out of business. I like that it answers to you like that. No. No, you dipshit. But I am upset that California Pizza Kitchen has gone out of business. Is that? Yeah. Can you believe that? It's done. Will you Google it? Cause there used to be one here at the Bromaine in Austin, that's our children's favorite restaurant, CPK, and it's gone.

And I don't think it's gone from. Okay. No. No. It did file for bankruptcy in 2020. But that was five years ago. The company emerged with a reduced debt load. Well, the one in Austin's gone, and I am deeply upset.

Please, CPK, bring back your Austin location. It's focused on expanding its franchise footprint, innovating its menu, investing in marketing and digital, and looking to captivate captive dining audiences at airports as a source of customers. And also their prices are going to remain at $3 for full pizzas and entire meals following the I allegedly business footprint. You believe these fucking prices? This pizza was $11. Jesus Christ. Who the fuck can afford this shit?

CPK does provide a great product. Can you go back to his thing for a, can you scroll to the top? I just wanna see like- Yeah, what is he liking? What is this? Okay. Oh, he's only got like 2,800 followers.

I allegedly. Babe, he's only got 2,800 followers. I know, he's gonna have more now. Some things haven't been proven yet. Is this like a third eagle of the apocalypse type? I love this R1. He's a serial entrepreneur, small business advisor, YouTuber. In my career, I've survived the crash of 2000, 2008, 2020,

all through the ups and downs. I've learned not just to survive but thrive. In my experience, tough economic times always provides new opportunities. I'm what's known as a connected marketer I help businesses raise money get connected as strategic partners Okay gobbledygook this jargon. I don't understand what these people you got a fucking redesign this page I was about to say a number one thing I know about him is that he definitely made this website

Yeah, you got some time. he's all about saving a buck, but sometimes you got to spend a few to make it look like you didn't build this in fucking 1996. Let's go to his YouTube. Let's see what these episodes are like. Like what is he doing? Entire episodes on he's got 300,000 drivers. Okay. So he's legit. Okay. I've been banned for life from Walmart. What the fuck? Hey, it's Dan. Welcome back to watch an eye allegedly and I've got a good one for you today Because I've been banned for life from Walmart Please hit the like button. Please subscribe to the channel. Yes today

We have a sponsor private internet access, which I will get into okay a little bit, but let's get right into it. Yeah Okay a little bit, but let's get right into it. Yeah Okay, so it's not me that's been banned it's a woman named Ashley cross and This is something that we've talked about a few months ago But Ashley process he said he's a I've been doing Walmart all of them can't step in and the reason for that is that she went out and she took one item that was very inexpensive and then she would scan it at the self checkout. And what she would do is she would use a watch battery, which was a little over a dollar, and she would then scan that and they caught her And she would then scan that and they caught her

Scanning about a hundred and eighty dollars with the merchandise jeans Shirts other things yeah, and with that they said no you're done, so They are fed up with this absolutely done with this behavior the self-checkout is where they get robbed blind. Well, yeah, why are they doing that? All the time, people scan five items, take out six, and Walmart is fed up with it. Walmart's completely done with it. And so she's done. OK. But that's a fucking point.

Is that the story? That's a fucking point. This is a 19- minute video about Ashley scanning Okay Are we still if this is still the Ashley story? I'm gonna absolutely die. He's walking Stealing a guy I was filming at that self check I was first time in a group. She's doing bad No, so I

Said something Anyways, you know come on guys Okay, be aware of this stuff guys because I'm telling you this right now You want to do something interesting do a search on how many people have been arrested at the self-checkout for grosses. This is a business advice, Guy? I know. Don't do self-checkout, you had no shit.

Don't steal or you'll get a ban from Walmart? Okay. That's insane. All right. I hate self-checkout. I don't wanna do it. Good luck with your page, sir. That's very interesting that you're doing all that. Can we please do some happy birthdays? Yeah, it's my absolute faves

Yes, so as you know, or if you don't know you go to a drive-thru Hopefully it's a coffee place like a Starbucks or something you use either a British cockney accent or an accent of your choosing You say happy birthday, you say I love you, and you just see how it goes. Hello, my name is James. James, what do we get for you? I'd like two pink drinks, please. What size?

Large. Two large pink drinks. Anything else? That'll be our love. Alright, we'll see you out here. It's so bad, is that true? I love it. I love how bad it is. Happy birthday. It's so, it's so stupid. It's so dumb to hand somebody a chip and be like, happy birthday. And they're like, okay. not but yeah thank you happy birthday especially the bad cockney accent is really what gives me the most joy so Oh, this is good Happy birthday. So stupid. I also like how many happy birthdays you can do.

I felt like he either is British or has like British parents or something. I know. Because he had the little like kind of colloquialisms in there. Yeah, he was good at it. Hello there, love. Can I get a large I'm gonna be a... large chestnut frappuccino please. Would you like love?

Oh yes, can I get another large matcha frappuccino please? Stupid. Do they? Oh, stupid. Oh yes, strawberry drizzle. His accent is all over the place. Or syrup or whatever. He just dropped it completely. Is it your birthday today? Is it your birthday? Yeah. You know Craig, Craig told me it was your birthday.

You don't know? Must be the other Starbucks. Sorry sir. Is it your birthday? I do like the long of the ahhhh. The long ahhhh was great. That could be a whole new lane. Ahhhh.

Where you. Ahhhh. The long aah was great. That could be a whole new lane. I think, oh, and. If you could do a really long pause like that. Yeah, a long pause is great. Like see how long we could get those pauses. Oh my God. Those were great. That's really funny. Wow, that was fucking awesome.

Happy birthday. Happy birthday. You'll like this for sure Yeah, he didn't even hear him yeah, I don't think he hurt you look retarded bro, I think he heard him he did and he said Thank you. Oh, thank you, bro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. What's going on with that kid? What do you think? I mean, this is definitely not a cry for attention. We're not fucking house as a hat. Yeah He's all over the map that kid stupid it is fucking stupid um, I know your ultimate dream is to see me as Robert Smith course, but then we also we also, one of your other,

one of your favorites of all time, Peter Murphy. Of course. This side by side is pretty crazy. Let's see. Let's see you. Oh, you could so do this. Look at that. You guys are twin brothers already.

Wow. Look at him. Oh my God, you guys really are blue eyes. You got the blue eyes. His eyes look really good though Oh, he's stunning. And is it that he has good eyelashes too? Or see Peter Murphy's got good everything good cheek structure good eyelashes So here's what you'd have to do to do this. You got to get a spray tan

I don't think Peter Murphy spray tans. I think that you're exceptionally pasty Thank you, and you need to spray tan and then we got to put some blue eyeshadow and That's pretty much it. And I think, are those eye lines, is that eyeliner or is that eyelashes? Yeah, it's a little eyeliner. He does it in the water line as they say. You could do that, but I still think.

God, maybe I should start doing eyeliner every day. Right? Isn't that like a cool idea? Are you being serious? I would love that. Really? I would love that. Would you try? Sure, I'll try it, yeah. Really? I would love that. Would you try?

Sure, I'll try it, yeah. I love guys in black eyeliner. Oh, I mean, that's been one of my dreams. Here's the deal, man. You can't wear lipstick with a beard. I mean, that's probably why Peter Murphy doesn't do that. It looks, it's not appropriate. He looks really good though.

No, he's incredibly good looking. He's still, you know, he's thin. He kept himself in shape and everything. But I still, I love Peter Murphy, but Robert Smith is where my heart is. Jesus Christ. I mean, Robert Smith is like my first crush. Can you listen to me?

I mean, growing up as a teenage girl, 13 years old, he's my first big crush. I have posters of him everywhere. I'm obsessed with Robert Smith. If you could do Robert Smith. Okay. You gonna do it? Yeah. No, really?

Sure, I'll consider it. Don't get my hopes up. I am, I'm thinking, I'm trying to figure out a way to hope we can do it. Okay. Ready for a vibe shift? I love Peter Murphy, yeah. Okay. Bitch, don't play with shift? I love Peter Murphy, yeah.

Okay. Bitch don't play with me. Oh. Do not play with me. Oh. Do not play with me, because I'm not the one or the two. You're not the one or the two.

Let's go, you ain't got shit to do. You ain't gonna do nothing. I just named my ticket. Why you keep speaking on me for nothing? Like I said, keep my fucking name out your mouth. You keep my name out your mouth because mine is always in yours for some reason. No, some reason. It always is. Get the fuck out of here. Fuck out your mouth. You keep my name out your mouth, because mine is always in yours for some reason. No, some reason.

It always is. Get the fuck out of here. Fuck out of here. Fuck out of here before I get out of here. Spirit air. Shit, try me. You think you're fucking with me? Remember what I was telling you about service industry?

I mean I'm drop kicking your ass. Not good. Right? Yeah, it's spirit. Fuck out of here, you dumb bitch. I'm not good. Yes, you are. Jesus. Fuck out of here. You and your rat-n-ass fuck. Wow. fuck out of here, you dumb ass. Yes, you are. Jesus.

Fuck out of here. You and your rat ass fuck. What the fuck am I? Fuck out of here. Go suck your ass. I'm not getting out of here. Like I said, I said what I said, and I said what I said. Please step to me like you wanted.

Imagine you're about to board a flight and you're like like what the fuck? It's so terrifying. You're like where are they going at? You're not the one or the two. Fuck. I'd be so scared if you're in line. Yeah, fuck me.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Nigga mona. Oh jeez. Oh jeez. Oh, jeez. My man. Yeah. I have to, and I, look, this is not very- Spirit is insane. ... politically correct to say, but nothing scares me more than black girls yelling, like black women yelling. Holy shit.

Girl get your life. I mean, I think it hearkens back to middle school. public school and like, this shit escalates bro, and they will fucking throw down. Yeah. They fight. Yeah. Kiss my pussy.

Kiss it. The shit gets real, bro. I know, I know. This is like, I'm having flashbacks to seventh grade. What is it, Portola? Fucking Portola. P.O.P. I already died. Yeah.

Yeah. P.O.P. squad, right there. Dude, black girls are vicious though. They will fucking... In middle school. Cut you, bro. Or at spirit. Look at this.

You have a good motherfucking night. The shit that they say to each other, I can't even come up with. Yeah, I know, it's pretty good. It's like, damn dude. Yeah, all right. I said what I said. I said what I said.

Did you ever get jumped? Of course. Of course. I mean, but yes, yeah. Look, here's the problem, man, is I had come from a nice Lutheran school. I was like this quiet little blonde girl. I had a little bit of, of scrappy,

a little bit of an attitude and black girls would talk some shit in the locker room and talk shit everywhere. And, and I didn't know to shut the fuck. I just didn't know that you don't say anything. And I told them, I was like, why don't you shut up? Shut the fuck up. But this is a locker room.

Bad idea, and then I got on the radar and they're fucking me up. Well you learned a life lesson. Yeah, don't talk to black people, don't talk to them. No, that's not the life lesson. That's not the life lesson. No. You should be afraid of black chicks. No.

No, just, you gotta, you just, that's, no, you gotta read a room. I know. And you gotta know when to. When to shut up. Yeah, that's the lesson. I know, I just, I don't know what was wrong with me. I don't know, but that shit scares me, dude.

Yeah. To this day, I'm like, foof, get away from that. Yeah. Get away from that. Well. Don't get in your spirit employees. Ain't nobody got time for that. I remember. Far away. Middle away from that. Well, getting your spirit.

I remember far away middle school in, um, Milwaukee and, uh, you know, it was a similar experience, but I already knew, I already knew when to shut the fuck up. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. up. Yeah, I didn't know that one yet. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, like, I defended myself, not very well, but I fucking, I fought, I tried. Dude, but these bitches got crazy, dude, like, ripping braids out during lunchtime, and they fucking fought.

They fought hard. Harder than, like like chola girls. Cause cholas would fight, but never at school. I didn't feel like I didn't see Mexican girls throw down at school. The way black girls throw down at school. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like I know they fucked each other up, but that, that was like they did that somewhere else. Does that make sense? I don't feel like I didn't see Cholas fight. Angelino's?

Anyone? Cholas fighting? What? Cholas fighting? Cholas. Girls. Yeah, Cholas, yeah. I've seen that growing up in school. Yeah? Yeah, they know how to fight. Yeah. They fight at school? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. That was big in my school. Do you ever see like white girls throw down like that? Um, one time in middle school these two ghetto white bitches, they threw down. They were throwing kicks and stuff. And then that was during a passing period. That was kind of cool to watch. That's always when the nails come out.

The most violent fighting I ever saw was actually was white boys, though. White boys. That I witnessed? Yeah. Like bludgeoning. Yeah, white boys get crazy. There was this dude who hit, there's this dude who,

there was another kid, another guy who was just like commenting, I think. Not even like in a, I think this guy was talking about another guy's girlfriend and not in a grotesque way. It was just that he was like talking about her and the boyfriend felt threatened by this. He was like, stop talking about my girl.

And just in the middle of the hall, in front of like everybody, like punched him and then got on top and this started like, when you see like a UFC fight and they're just like, bow, bow, and you saw blood like shooting out of the guy's face. Yeah, this is a good point because UFC fighters are all crazy white guys Right a lot not all yeah, but the majority is like crazy white guy like just crazy trashy whites There's a lot of trashy whites trashy whites. Yeah, love the UFC. So there's something to it. That's in violence Yeah violence. God damn.

Asians don't fight. You ever seen Asians fight? I mean, Asians fight. In the ninja movies, yeah. Kung Fu movies, yeah. Actually, low key, no, I've never seen an Asian fight. That's crazy. Thank you.

Like I'm saying in school, like public school. Yeah, in school I didn't see Asians fight. You ever see the Chinese kids throw down? No. Never. He had to be mixed. I'm pretty sure I've seen one, but motherfucker had to be mixed. Yeah. You know I've seen one, but the motherfucker had to be mixed. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? It was Asian and black probably. I saw a white kid get turned into a vegetable. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Mom, this kid I know punched this other guy, I know. And then the kid got knocked out and hit his head on a curb and now he's broccoli.

Whoa. Dang. That's your last money boy. I grew up in small town Nebraska and it was all like farmers and like trailer kids fighting all the time. White kids, small towns. But no Asians. No.

No Chinese kids. I never saw an Asian kid fight. Not one. Koreans never. But I know that right now there's definitely people listening and watching being like, bro. Yeah. I saw fucking dat nguyen Like they just are yelling at the dat nguyen

Yeah That Vietnamese motherfuckin He motherfuckin lit this dude up Yeah for sure. Well, that's true because I do know there are Asian, you know gang bangers Asian gangs Yeah, a thousand percent Especially in LA. Yeah, I just haven't seen it. I just haven't seen it. Yeah. Interesting.

Yeah, let's get some emails. Yeah, let's get some cool Asian stories. Asian fight bullying stories. It's a nice thing to just put into the universe. Hey, did you witness an Asian kid beat the shit out of somebody? Please share it with us. We've never seen it. Wait, Tanner, you saw this kid, you saw this fight?

God. Yeah, I was at a house kid, you saw this fight? God. Yeah, I was at a house party and so he punched him and then the kid was perfectly placed when he fell, his head hit the back of a curb and now he's pretty retarded. Did the other, because usually when those things happen you get like, you get arrested. Yeah, he got arrested. I was supposed to go to school with him. I was supposed to go to college with him and I was supposed to go to college with him. And since he had a court case, he couldn't come to school.

So. You know that this, by the way, always reminds me of the one I saw this orthopedic surgeon after I broke my arm and my leg snapped playing ball. And he goes, and I was all fucked up. I was like, ha. And he goes, you're lucky. I go, lucky? He goes, well, huh, he goes you're lucky I go lucky

He goes well, you could have hit the back of your head and you then you'd be eating through a straw for the rest Of your life. I was like, okay cool. I'm lucky Because he's like you could have landed on your head man. No, I'm lucky. Otherwise, I've ever used a husband Banks Tom go do your act. Banks! Banks. Go do your act, Tom. Get out on the road. Jesus Christ.

Mmm. Jesus. Tom. Tom. I look at the screen and then goes what's up motherfuckers? Tom Tom do I have permission then to have lovers? Oh get the fuck out of here bitch All right Girl, get your life. Alright. What? Nothing. How do we get down this hole?

Oh, the Spirit Air employees. Spirit, man, I'm telling you. You're like, no, service industry is cool. No, it's not. It's fucking dog shit. I know. I just, look, I have sympathy for them. It's a tough gig. Serving the public is... I don't think it's easy damn. It's the worst job

It's harsh public. You know, it's really hard as customer service and people are always angry and Okay, yeah, here we go What a lot of people are celebrating over it and counting about how great it is Of course, there's the other angle this this participation rate. Explain that to us and why we need to look at that. Absolutely. Well, we have, we're in a very good position to talk about what's going on the past few weeks. Okay. Jesus Christ. All right.

It's a, Dr. Drew, it's a hypothyroidism. I saw a clip of a guy by the way, talking about, he was a basketball player talking about, you know, when you played this position. He goes, yeah, you know, as a, when there's, when you play, I forget if it was like guard or four, he's like, you know, there's a stigmatism associated with playing that position. A stigmatism. Yeah, and everybody was like, right, right, right. Like nobody.

You know, as a small forward, there's always a stigmatism that we don't. Stigmatism. Put the ball on the floor a lot, and you're like, right, right. How does this shit go on television? And not say something. That's intense.

Like, hey, sorry, my eyes are wide open. Yeah, sorry I'm freaking you the fuck out. Try to listen to the words and not look at me. She knows how she looks. Of course she knows. Why don't you just say something? I work with a lot of Fortune 1000 organizations. Jesus Christ.

She has a blank, Tyler. No. And we get a good pulse on what's ramping and areas of growth. We also work with- I'm gonna pee. I'm gonna pee. And that's how the firms want to experience that growth.

We're seeing tremendous growth here at DigiMeat. Holy shit. Holy shit. Wow, that was cool. Imagine if that was your partner. Partner. Yeah. You mean your gay partner? Oh. There is people like this. This is usually in women you see. Yeah. I feel like I've seen bitches like this where you're like

close your eyes dude. Close your eyes. Fucking. Isn't that crazy she can't go she either goes close or this. There is no in between. Also there's like no way to resolve that. You can't be like hey hey, fix this. Of course there is. It's a medical, there's a medical problem happening. Unless she's gacked on some drug. She's not gacked. She's got an issue. She's got a problem.

Listen, as a middle-aged man, there's a stigmatism involved, all right. You're dating a misandrist and you've transitioned in front of them and they are like part of the reason you're struggling to even identify as a man or transmasculine. You're like I'm you know non-binary but and hey I am complicated I'm non-binary I'm a woman I'm also a man though and I do look like this and I'm walking the world like this and so this person during

one of our fights was like I don't see you as a man though. And I said, that's weird. Everybody else fucking does. And they were like, I was like, you maybe should look at me a little closer because what are you seeing? Hanging out with kids? What's a misandrist? So the opposite of misogynist,

someone that hates men. Oh please. It's a fake word. Wait. So yeah, misogyny is woman-hating and misandry is man-hating Well, but he's saying I'm a man. Yeah Dislicker contempt against men. Yeah, I eat the male sex contempt for men. I know a bunch of bitches like this I, I feel like that's being popular right now. Yeah, it's usually a bunch of busted ass hoes

who can't find anyone to date them. That's true. Fuck them anyway. It's never, it's never. Bunch of broke, busted, ugly ass bitches. Yeah, it's never hot chicks. No. They're like, I fucking hate men.

It's like, no dude. Bitches that were thrown to the side because they look like, no, dude. Bitches that were thrown to the side because they look like fucking dogs. Yeah. You all right? Oh my God, I was rewatching Kevin Samuels yesterday just to myself.

And he's like, okay, how tall are you? Five, two, how much do you weigh? 145, okay, no, no, no. Like he just straight out. I saw the clip, I don't know if we have it, of somebody describe, she's like, well I need to know what my options are. And he goes, how old are you?

And she was like 43, he goes, none. And she goes, he goes, none. None, next. She's like, I have three kids. He goes, no, no, are you hearing me? None, nothing, nope, none. And she goes, I, he goes, she's like, I have three kids. He goes, no, no, are you hearing me? None, nothing, nope, nothing. She goes, I have no options. She's like, no, okay, you're 43, you got three kids.

Who the fuck would want you? You just totally destroy her. If this circle represents all of the open defecation that happens in the world, this is the fraction that happens in India. Jesus Christ. And this is the fraction that happens only in rural India. 65% of rural Indians defecate in the open.

So what that means is that most of the open defecation that happens in the world happens in rural India. Yeah, we got it. And most rural Indians defecate in the open. We got it. Every day 500 million people in villages in India go in the fields rather than use a toilet or a latrine. We got it. the reason bigger than the population of the United States? Why why why choose to do that? They're all poor and stuff. No, India. What's the reason to choose the field shit? Why not? It's perfect to shit out there. Why don't you love to shit in a field? I would love to shit outside with the nice warm. I love toilets. I love shitting in my toilet I would like to open defecate. Can we build me an open?

You just go out in my toilet. I would like to open defecate. Can we build me an open? You just go out in the yard. I I've never the neighbors and take your shit. I'd love to I've never experienced stopping you from doing this I know it must there must be something to it because all the Indians love doing it. That's true Lack of readily accessible toilets deeply ingrained cultural norms that accept the practice. Yeah, that's fine. It's not a big deal. Poverty, inadequate sanitation infrastructure. That's fine.

Who cares? Just shit out in the field. There's nothing out there anyway. It's rural. Who's it hurting? I think, you know what? I think this woman is open defecation phobic and I think she needs to fucking- I actually always think about like when you're thinking about this open defecation is

The cleanup the wiping. Yeah, so you have really well, I know in the I don't know actually I know in Muslim countries you use your hand All Muslim countries. No, I've just learned that when I was in Afghanistan that yes Sometimes they use their hand and they wash their hand. That's why you eat with the left, wipe with the right, or vice versa, I forget. I don't know, but they're not bringing paper towels out. Oh, the other way around.

Yeah, they're not bringing paper towels to the field. No way. Maybe they're wiping with plants or leaves or something. Look, humans have been shitting for centuries. This is how we all used to shit. Open defecate. Okay. Across North Africa, Middle East, and Asia people traditionally use their hands to wipe after using the toilet, followed by washing them with water, often using the left hand specifically for this purpose

due to cultural hygiene practices. This is particularly Prevalent in Muslim countries where water-based cleansing is emphasized Yeah, so you wipe with your your left And you eat with your right got it. You don't ever want to shake a Muslim's left hand. Yeah, that's considered very yeah So you got dookie on it look I don't know why she's just singling out the Indians I'm telling you but it's got to be other well no open defecation Yeah, good for her good for them good for them. I think it's causing some issues. This is why she's giving a speech Oh, well, I do remember the story about open defecation where they would come to like Disneyland and shit Yeah in public or come to cities and then still open defecate

Yeah, they just haven't learned how to use it. Well, that's a big thing in mainland China Yeah a lot of mainlanders that shit just anywhere will visit like Beijing or Macau or Hong Kong or You know Shanghai and they're they're rural Chinese and they go into the big city and they're like I got a shit I'm just gonna drop my pants right here and shit on the floor of this mall and then they're like no no no No, no, no No, no, no No, see and you know

Don't think I didn't notice that when I brought up the idea that the Muslims use their left hand to web there as you Know that crazy. Okay, I just didn't know cuz you guys are always are like, oh Christina you got these crazy Just let me tell you about the next crazy idea. I knew that. Okay, I just didn't know, because you guys are always like, oh, Christina, you got these crazy ideas. Let me tell you about the next crazy idea I'm on. Can I talk to you for a second? Sure, man. It's huge in the mommy TikTok world right now, the mommy sleuths out there.

If you're, if you're, Candace Owens, I love you girl. Candace, come on your mom's house. You need to explain this, what I'm about to tell my husband. It is so good. You guys have to go to her website, CandiceOwens.com to see the stuff for her YouTube.

She's staking her career on the fact that Brigitte Macron, allegedly, Candice Owens is saying that Brigitte Macron, the first lady of France, is actually a man. Is actually a dude. And I know it's crazy. And she's got a ton of evidence. And this Poulard guy who wrote a book, I bought the book, I'm all into it, Candice. I would love for you to come on and explain this to the world. You're so into this story.

I sound insane. I've been into it for like a month now. Every day I'm like, holy shit, dude, Brigitte Macron is a dude, bro. Is a dude. Let's pull up Brigitte Macron. So here's what I, oh, we talked about this already on the show. Sorry, yes.

But so the series is called Becoming Brigitte, and she goes through their genealogy of the family and how these two meet. And by the way, there's all these stories that Macron meets Brigitte when he is 17 and she is 36. First of all, that's not true. They're saying that he was 14 and she was what, like in her forties something 39, 39, 9, 9, 9 and that's when they hooked up and there's a whole ton of evidence you guys have to get into every detail because

it's fascinating that there's no photographs allegedly of this Brigitte Macron for 30 years, 30 years no photographs okay just, she's born. Okay, so then there's like three photographs that they put out of her. This is supposedly her at her wedding. Well, they do these AI analyses now of photographs, like the kind that the Chinese use or whatever. And the AI is like, that ain't Brigitte Macron,

and that guy is actually her, I don't know, uncle, brother, whoever the fuck. It's a whole crazy story. I've allegedly, she's assumed the, she's actually a boy. There's a family photo. Hold on, where's that family photo? A boy, okay. Okay.

Let's go back. Her name is actually Jean-Michel something. Go, Google. Well, that's her. That's her in her 40s. So that's when she's teaching. Okay. Google Brigitte Macron that's her. That's her in her forties. So that's when she's teaching. Okay. Google Brigitte Macron Young family photo.

So it starts with here. So basically what happens is she and her husband get into the LSA, whatever, he's prime minister, and like well-meaning journalists are wanting to investigate her background. Correct. And what they realize is that there's a black hole in Brigitte Macron's history,

which is like you can dig up school photos, you can dig up everything, everything's public. So they're saying this, this Poulard and Candice that actually Brigitte Macron is the little boy here on the left, my left. And I don't know who the hell this one is sitting on the lap of that woman. But isn't it the hell this one is sitting on the lap of But isn't it possible that that's Brigitte on the lap sitting on the lap? No because they did like AI analysis of the AI

Analysis, I'm telling you bro. I mean, but why does AI analysis or whatever photo recognition? Software's and all of this. Well, if you you look at, okay, can you Google childhood photo of Jean-Michel side by side with Brigitte Macron? I'm telling you, this little boy is identical to Brigitte Macron. If you do a side by side, there's all, and then they found a few photographs of Brigitte. Who's Jean-Michel?

That's Brigitte Macron before she became Brigitte. So she disappears, she goes to Algiers, has a sex change supposedly, comes back, and now is Brigitte Macron before she became Brigitte. So she disappears, she goes to Algiers, has a sex change supposedly, comes back, and now is Brigitte. It's bananas. No, this is, this is Michael Jackson. Who are you bringing up? Anyway, Candice, please come on the show and explain this better than I am. It's a whole story.

It's fascinating stuff. Ugh. Look, Tucker, Tucker Carlson follows her too. It's a whole thing. Okay. Allegedly, allegedly. Well, I know that you're very- Viva la France.

I would love to hear firsthand this account of how- Candice, come on. I know you're pregnant, girl. You're in Tennessee. Brigitte Macron is really Jean Michel. Jean Michel. A man. A man. A man.

Who's fucking a boy. Correct. Cool. And right, so she is actually Jean Michel. She disappears, she comes back, and now she lives as a woman named Veronique for a while. It's a whole fucking thing, man. Okay.

That's crazy. It's, and they're this, allegedly. Why is she staking her career on this though? Why is this? Why is it so interesting? I'll tell you why I'll tell you why because It's not just that this woman is a man back up one back up one. There you go Those see those photos those four photos women who falsely claimed Bridget macron is transgender Yeah, so they suit them for defamation or center but, but it's not on the claims that Brigitte is a woman.

I'm sorry, Brigitte is a man. There's slander in the details of the stories. It's a long story. It's not what you think it is. So go back to those images, those four images. Go up, boom. Well, next row, second row. Scroll down.

Scroll down, mommy. There. Look at those. Okay. Look at, teeth don't lie. Look at the middle, mommy. There. Look at those. Okay. Look at, teeth don't lie. Look at the middle two images. Yeah. Oh, you're saying that those are the same.

That's Brigitte as, okay. Got it. See that young man? Yes. And then you see Brigitte Macron. Look at that. I mean, am I, are my eyes deceiving me? And like Candice says.

But wait, but I'm saying what's the way to, like why do people care? Don't believe your eyes, why do people care? Why do people care? So the implications for this being A, if this really is a man who transitioned to a woman is because having a relationship with a 14 year old boy is completely inappropriate and illegal and wrong. Secondly, there's ties to allegedly Candice is saying in the Elysée, in the government,

they're protecting because they, you know, she believes that this is a culture and they're protecting. There's also links to the Rothschild family. Regime Macron is actually a Rothschild, which is like the biggest banking company in France. I know, and they're protecting each other's interest. There's incest, there's all kinds of gross things happening. Have you been talking to Sam Trippley every evening? Satanic cults. The lizard people are controlling. Here's my problem, Tom.

Yeah. Can I tell you my problem? Sure. I'm not doing standup anymore. I'm not out in the world. Yeah, yeah. We need to get you on stage. Yeah, yeah.

I'm on the mommy sleuth TikTok and I'm here for it. I love it all. Okay. I need to get out of stage. Yeah, yeah. I'm on the mommy sleuth TikTok and I'm here for it. I love it all. I need to get out of the house. I agree. I agree. I know it, but Candice, I love you. You're doing God's work. All right, I wanna hear the full story.

Can we do some talk? These are talks. I'm the talk. We gotta go, man. What are you doing? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm the talk. I'm the TikTok today. Aliens. Or what are you doing? Oh I'm sorry, I'm the talk. Yeah. I'm the TikTok today. Aliens.

Hi. I'm Marte. Oh yeah. Oh my God. What the fuck? Hey. Hey. Oh, thank you Marte.

Thank you. Hey. That was like a Danish dating show or something. Yeah, sounded French. And he goes to French. That's the Macron family. That's actually footage of how they say hello to each other at holidays. It's just a cool lady. She's got great tits.

Annie? Down. Down. Down. Yeah. Nice, Annie. Hell yeah. Nice, any? Hell yeah. They have Therian masks at IKEA. Breaking news. These are legit. This is a Therian mask.

I don't know how you can make me otherwise. They have a whole box of them. And I just think Ikeas get them with the times. If you're doing quadrobics at the Ikea I don't think they would just... What the? What? get them with the times. You're doing quadrobics at the Ikea. I don't think they would just.

What the, what? First of all, what's a therion? I think these are like the mass cosplay nerds. This is what dorks are doing. Yeah, cosplay, therion, furry. This is furry culture. Okay. And then quadronics?

I'm not sure what a quadronic. Oh, maybe you're getting on all fours, Quad, doing that dorky shit these nerds do on TikTok. Okay. I don't know when it, these fucking nerds, man. Yeah, very cool. They need to go back to being ashamed of themselves and not fighting. Very cool.

Well, it's upsetting now that IKEA's embracing their stupidity. Got it, yeah. This weird furry thing. I think IKEA was just like, here's an animal mask. That's what I think too, but this nerd sees it Well it's upsetting now that IKEA's embracing their stupidity. Got it, yeah. This weird furry thing. I think IKEA was just like, here's an animal mask. That's what I think too, but this nerd sees it as a cultural validation. You see what you want to see. Satanic.

I think Brigida is a woman. I've been real proud of it, but my grandmother was a witch. An astrologist. Somebody that studied the stars. My mother's name's JoJo. You know, the government knows, the FBI knows JoJo. Any?

She said the Joverment. The Joverment. Would you smash? She's got nice teeth. I'd give it a round, she's got nice teeth, yeah. I bet she could take him out. Awesome. Honoree a boy here literally just had this shirt made.

Thanks. My Facebook friend named Tina at a place called embroidery plus in Las Vegas. Cool. We walk in Fremont any minute now on Friday. I'm going to be going to Little Italiana in Summerland between like three and maybe like seven. So if you want to come hang out there, that'll be pretty fun. Get gonorrhea. Come hang out. Vote Lauren for next season, vote Lauren for North America too. Good timing to record. Outside. We're gonna keep it going but thank you so much Tina. This year will be for auction eventually I'll autograph it and see if anybody wants it.

Gonorrhea boy. Alright. That was really cool. Autograph it and see if anybody wants it. Yeah gonorrhea boy Right That was really cool There's but no go ahead There's just a lane of people that are proud of their STIs and they like to they don't want to be shamed He gave out like a location where he'll be for like three hours If anyone wants to come hang out and get an autograph this if anyone wants it, what the fuck? So cool.

If anybody could let us know if you bought the gonorrhea boy shirt, I would love to know. All right. This was a lot of fun today. It was really fun. I love you. We got to get going though. We have a lot to do now. Yeah, lots of stuff to prepare. Busy. Busy. Okay. We love you. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. I be poppin' I be poppin' I be poppin' I be poppin' call me 10 Millie Tom 10 Millie in the bank, got a clarin' Got a bad bitch, you just gotta carin' 10 Millie in the day, 10 in the night I'm feelin' kinda high but I gotta go in right So I do Now I'm chillin' with Push Up in the stool We be makin' that money, gotta spend it for a plan

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