Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Tom's Mom Joins OnlyFans | Your Mom's House Ep. 794
Episode Date: January 22, 2025Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Visit https://RedwoodOutdoors.com and use code YMH to save $175. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a... month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE, go to https://MINTMOBILE.com/mom. Go to https://shopify.com/momshouse to start selling with Shopify today. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. She's baaaaaack!!! The Fart Mistress herself, la madre de Tommy, Charo is in the mommy dome, joining Tim and Kristin for some fun clips and a lot of coffee. The trio talk about Charo's star making turn at their recent vacation, Charo's new life living in Austin, the LA wildfires, the happy birthday drive-thru prank, and the feedback they've received from the mommies about Charo's OnlyFans. Speaking of that, Tommy spends most this episode trying to convince her that it's an amazing idea, because duh, it's the best idea. They also check out some TikToks, Charo reacts to some Horrible or Hilarious clips, and Charo gets pretty lit by the end of this thing. There's also an incredible banger of a closing song by the one and only Will Blunderfield to wrap the whole thing up. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 794 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 2/9/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:04 - Charo Is In The House 00:03:27 - Opening Clip: Happy Trail Bear 00:06:02 - Vacation Star 00:15:57 - CharOFans 00:26:21 - Clip: Thumbs Way Up 00:31:20 - Clip: Piss Nuke 00:32:36 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:36:25 - Ad Break 00:41:12 - Notting Hill 00:47:05 - Clip: Will Blunderfield's Stink Portal 00:48:29 - Clip: Hazing 00:49:34 - LA Wildfires 00:53:43 - Clip: Feeling Good Forever 00:56:14 - Squirrels 01:00:35 - Bridge & Facial Enhancements 01:05:33 - Clip: Dancing Sloppers 01:07:32 - Happy Birthday Drive Thru Prank 01:17:49 - Extremely Serious 01:25:31 - Time To Clean Up The Act 01:31:19 - TikToks 01:38:10 - Classic Charo Voice Clips 01:48:40 - Closing Song - "I Love Smelling My Farts" by Will Blunderfield Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
San Francisco.
I'll be at the Chase Center this Friday.
Tickets are on sale now.
Later this month, I'll be in Athens, Georgia,
Savannah, Georgia, and North Charleston, South Carolina.
All dates and information are at tomscigaret.com slash tour.
Welcome, welcome to your mom's house.
["The House of the Bumblebee"]
Air Transat presents two friends traveling in Europe for the first time and feeling some
pretty big emotions.
This coffee is so good!
How do they make it so rich and tasty?
Those paintings we saw today weren't prints.
They were the actual paintings.
I have never seen tomatoes like this.
How are they so red?
With flight deals starting at just $589, it's time for you to see what Europe has to offer. Don't worry, you can handle it.
Visit airtransat.com for details, conditions apply. Air Trans Oh. We started normal conversation.
Okay.
What's normal?
Well, nothing existent.
We're more normal than most people in the world.
Candy?
I saw it.
Honestly.
Will you put those on, Mom?
You put the headphones on.
Yeah.
I think it should be better.
Churro, do you wanna button your sweater
so that your tetas don't? That's a good question. I think it should be better. Turo, do you want to button your sweater so that your tetas don't...
Yes, that's a good part of me.
I think you should button it.
Oh, oh, oh, shit.
But what do you want me to button?
Button your sweater.
Button it. Oh, as I was showing something.
No, she thinks it looks better.
I'm telling you, somebody who, you know, you just want it. Yeah.
If you want the show to have class and good scene.
No, we don't.
What do you think of my drawing of Tom?
I can see it.
That?
I love it.
And this one?
You did that?
She did that.
Get out.
Do you think that looks like me though?
No.
Okay.
But it's a good story.
It's good. Thank you. What does it have to do with me? No. Okay. Thank you. It's an interpretation, okay? It's an
interpretation. Am I talking in a speaker? Lean towards the mic more. Just sit up.
I realize you guys are talking like this. Yeah, you gotta talk into the microphone, yeah.
My voice is too sexy.
I can't.
Okay, so first of all, I'm so excited
that my mommy has moved to Austin.
Welcome!
Yay!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
You're Austin's newest celebrity resident. How does it feel to be here? Welcome! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
You're Austin's newest celebrity resident.
How does it feel to be here?
Oh my God.
Where do I start?
The fact that you're just being here close to you guys and be able to see each other
every weekend, it's just glorious.
What happened?
I don't know.
I don't know.
What's wrong with you? Are you know. What's wrong with you?
Are you okay?
What's wrong with you?
I think that your headphones on your cheek
and not on your ear.
Can you push it back to your ear?
Is that what you're laughing?
Is that what you're laughing at?
I think you're having a cramp.
Here.
Here, sorry.
It's a coffee.
What's wrong with you?
Drink it. Oh no. It's a coffee. Pardon. Caffeine. Que te pasa, Tommy?
Oh no, I said that.
Is it the say?
Que cosa ha dicho?
No, no, no.
Careful with the mug on the thing.
No, it's that.
Okay, okay, okay.
So.
Ya aprendÃ.
No, it's so nice to have you and my little sister here.
It's so fun.
We got to...
Oh my God.
I'm not going to talk like Hawaii.
I have to talk about the cruise.
Yeah.
You can say a little bit and let me talk.
Okay.
We're gonna get into all that,
our New Year's vacation and everything that's going on.
But before that, we always play an opening clip
to open the show.
So here's our opening clip to this special episode
with Charro.
Somebody have to clap, no?
No reaction?
You're never gonna know where that happy child goes to
unless you...
Ah!
Ah, me no me clava con ese señor.
No. Ay, que, sir. No.
Oh, how disgusting! No!
Respect!
What's wrong with you?
Oh, how disgusting!
There, well, take that man out of here.
What's wrong with you, Tommy? Yeah. It's our opening song.
Always?
Not him, the song.
Which one?
The one with the candy, please.
Oh, he's here.
Can you lend me one?
No.
Hey, secret, come here.
No, no, we're just, we're not supposed to talk during that whole time that you talked.
Oh.
But, okay, let's get into it.
First of all, did you like that clip?
No, you did not like it.
I don't remember the clip.
The guy.
Ah, what?
No, no, that is, ah.
You don't think he's cute?
I think he's really cute.
Yeah, he kinda looks like me.
Well, a little bit.
Yeah, look to both of you.
Christina.
I think he's hot.
Oh, Christina, you can both of you. Christina. I think he's hot. Oh, Christina, you can have him.
Oh!
I don't know if Tommy's attracted to you
because if you like that guy and you like Tommy,
maybe we push Tommy, she see similarities.
I do, I do.
I see similarities myself.
Actually, you have the glasses.
I have the glasses, I have the beard.
I have the chest hair and the hair.
You have the chest hair.
And the nose is spot on. Yes, and then you feel like you're so cool that you open it
Yeah, it's sort of like my brother's out there somewhere. Yes. Wait, is this my brother faking?
Is this my brother? No
That's when I used to inflate you and put it back in there. I
Did it I did it. What did you do?
Changed you.
You changed me.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Say thank you.
Thank you very much.
So, it was amazing to spend, cheers.
Happy the New Year's trip with you.
We got to go to an island in the Caribbean and we went with our entire family.
What was really fascinating, we all talked about this, you were the star of the vacation.
By far the star.
By far, you were the star of the vacation.
Can I tell you what, I'm just so amazed with you, is that for the first time in what, 17
years, you said you put on a bathing suit
It's true. You got into the ocean with our children with your beautiful grandson
Let me cry you got on a sea do you did with this guy?
And you were jumping in the water. Oh my god
the sea dude jet ski ride
so she is
I'm sitting here like this. she's sitting behind me, right?
And she's holding on.
And she'd go,
slow down!
I was like, we're good. And she'd go,
you are good!
And then, essentially, Cristina, no.
Then he would go like, you know, you are good.
Yeah, but you didn't like that he was going too fast.
No, he was going extremely fast.
He kept accelerating the more scared I got.
Yeah.
And then...
I don't remember.
And then what?
She doesn't remember.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
Hold me, C.A. You can't lift a cup. How's the coffee? Delicious.
Un poquito frio, pero delicioso.
You want more?
If it's hot, that would be better.
You want a hot one?
We'll bring you a hot one.
Thank you.
Please.
Okay, now back to the microphone.
No me acuerdo que estamos...
That's what we were just talking about, how great the vacation was.
And really it was because of your positive attitude.
And you also ate more shrooms than anybody? Remember? I want to talk about the real thing. It's a stupid story. No, I'm serious.
Serious is what I'm going to say. Number one, you could not dream for any human
being with billions and billions of total to have a better gift of this vacation with you guys. It was above and beyond any expectation in my short life.
And also, might I say you've embraced at your age,
if you might, if I'm okay saying you're 80 years old,
80 years young, and that you've embraced,
I would say, such a cool lifestyle,
the lifestyle I want to have.
You're into all kinds of things, may I say?
Yeah.
You're into edibles now?
Yeah, psychedelics.
Psychedelics, mushrooms.
Hey, excuse me, I don't have any in my house.
You cannot be.
No, no, I'm not saying.
And to eles, que no se ni lo que es,
you know, yes, me habli. saying.
Yeah.
Why are you crying?
It's just fun.
I'm just so emotional.
No.
They're rigging you another one.
Calientito.
They're going to rig it. Calientito, yeah. They're rigging you another one. Calientito. They're gonna rig it, calientito, yeah.
Okay.
Keep going.
So you had more,
you had more psychedelics than anybody on the vacation.
Psychedelic.
The mushrooms, the gummies.
Hasta ahora no se lo que es el estúpido gummy.
I remember when we're in the-
Microphone, yeah.
Is this enough?
Yeah, you can speak loud, it's okay.
But what if I don't want to?
Okay.
What was the question?
That you had more than anybody and you were like,
turn it up, let's get some more going.
To be honest, I also didn't do shit.
I think the people are destroying their brains
and we're not purpose,
because definitely those stupid things.
Don't work.
No, they damage your brain.
They damage your brain.
And we are so stupid that we pay to damage our brain.
Yeah, but it's fun, that's the whole point.
If I do it once every three years and one time, it's fun.
Well, and you were so fun when you were taking them.
Yeah, you were great.
I think you were just. When I was taking them. Yeah, you were great. I think you were just.
When I was taking them.
Yeah.
Yeah, you were so much fun.
You had the best attitude.
On vacation.
Thank you, Heather.
What do you mean on vacation?
I wasn't taking anything.
Yeah, I was giving you gummies.
Remember in the mornings you were like,
hey, give me some more of those gummies.
Step it up.
You know.
What?
If you want to be a storyteller,
don't talk that stuff.
Okay.
Why are you laughing?
Do you not like gummies at all?
Gummy is that little thing with candy that you gave me.
Yeah.
Okay.
What is she saying? I can't understand.
What is she saying? What are you saying?
Gummy is like the little candy that I gave her, like the little chewable.
Like a gummy.
Yeah.
It didn't do anything to you? You don't think it affects you at all?
Zero.
Yeah.
What about today's?
Today?
Yeah.
I'm in your show.
I know. How are you feeling?
A little dizzy.
A little dizzy.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
So?
So it's fine. It's fine. I think it's great. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. So? So, it's fine.
It's fine.
I think it's great.
It's great.
It is great.
We love it.
I love it.
But I love that you're embracing, look, it's very amazing that somebody will change, I
mean, you changed your life moving here to Austin.
You've really embraced a whole new chapter in your life.
But I also wanted to focus on the fact that you were the star of the vacation.
Yes. Hands down.
You were doing things that like, no here's the thing, everybody on that vacation was
either a kid or middle-aged like us.
And you were the only senior and you were the one who was like, I'm gonna do it, I'm
gonna jump in, I'm gonna do this thing, I wanna go swimming, I wanna go to the beach.
So it was people were, we were all discussing how inspiring it was that you were at your age and wanting to go swimming. I want to go to the beach. So it was people were we were all discussing how inspiring it was
That you were at your age and wanting to do everything. That's what we're saying
Okay
But to be honest it remind me that
Not that your age as long as there is love
Everything is perfect.
The age is not something that we are all going to have it
and then every time, everyone has his time,
but really, I don't remember.
That's okay.
You also realized, you told me that you're gonna live
another three years max, do you remember this?
Oh, that I know it.
You know that.
Three max.
Yes. Why a three year in perfect health? You're healthier than me. Oh, that I know it. You know that. Three max.
Yes.
Why three?
You're in perfect health.
You're healthier than me.
I, as my kid says, I am a freak of nature.
You are.
So instead of telling me we love you, I think you appreciate.
I think you are a freak of nature.
So when you die, do you mind if we send your brain and bite you?
Yeah.
Ah.
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I get fined.
No, it just happens.
It's okay.
We can keep talking.
It's okay.
This is called a vulgar attitude
and I don't think that it's funny at all.
Okay. Um, you want respect on your show?
Yeah, I want respect.
Well then you earn it with, you know, the class, your words.
It's too late for that.
It's true.
The train has left the station.
It's not too late.
How come I am at that age
sitting here and moving to Texas? Why is there not going to be an age? Yeah. It's amazing that you
chose to change your entire life. I think it's lovely and it's a wonderful new time for all of
us as a family. We came together. The boys love it. I love having you. It's a perfect segway
And it's always love it. I love having you it's a perfect
Segway to talking about the next chapter of your life Which is the fact that a lot of people are excited about you starting in only fans
Only fans, of course is a subscription site where you are the star and people pay to have access to your life
So in other words, there's a monthly bill that's recurring and every month a person
pays let's say $10 a month, something like that, and they just get access to Charo.
And you go, hey, good morning, I'm making my coffee, I'm going to take the dogs out,
I'm going to the store.
And you know, you just show them your life, show them your life, show them as much of
your life as you want.
And we told the audience that this was a possibility.
Well, the audience responded in such a way
that they wanted you to know that they are ready for this.
They are all ready to pay for access to your life.
So if you don't mind looking at this screen right here.
Yeah.
The same guy?
Well, no, it's going to change here in a second, okay?
Here you go.
Hola, Charro.
Hey, Charro.
Charro.
Charro.
Charro.
What's up there, Charro?
Please do OnlyFans.
Please.
Please do it.
Please try it out.
We need your OnlyFans.
Please join OnlyFans.
We could really use that joy.
You should definitely do an OnlyFans.
Get your arse in gear and get that OnlyFans made.
Me and the little guy thinking you need to sign up
for OnlyFans.
You can have one of the biggest accounts in the country.
From Berlin.
From Scotland.
Tennessee.
Canada.
California.
Misbet.
Quebec.
Michigan.
Colorado.
Australia.
North Carolina.
British Columbia.
From Germany, please.
You should really, really consider it.
Big time yes.
Love to subscribe to an OnlyFans from you.
We can't wait to subscribe.
I will be on that shit immediately.
Yes, yes, yes.
You should start.
OnlyFans.
You're a star and I wanna hear you fart.
Charlo!
You know what we wanna hear?
Let it rip.
I wanna hear some more of them things rip.
Let out a little fart.
I would give you my salary for one of those farts.
I like farts too. A lot a little fart. I would give you my salary for one of those farts.
I like farts too, a lot.
Farts.
Oh God, guys.
Farts.
Open your cheeks and let it go.
Yeah, I'ma pay for that.
I really need your juicy farts in my life
and I'm willing to pay whatever it takes.
Oh my God.
I need this.
So, well, we finished.
Guess who's got disposable income to spend on you, mommy?
Me. Five, $10 a month is nothing. 15 disposable income to spend on you, Mommy? Me.
Five, $10 a month is nothing.
15 bucks a month.
$20.
Five, $10.
15, 10.
Five, 10, 10, 10. Eight, nine, 20, 15, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, bucks baby you won't need Tom's money after this baby girl let's do this see how much comes in pop off clean make that only fence gracias we love you stay
gorgeous wow thank you thank you to everybody that let us know how you feel
they all want you to do this and just just so you know, go ahead and pull that mic close again.
Just so you know, there's endless possibilities
to how you can navigate your OnlyFans.
Just so you know.
I don't even know how to navigate.
Well, I mean.
Well, you know the demand is there now.
We just saw a montage of several thousand people
from all over the globe that want to see you do things.
It's simple math too.
It's really simple math.
I don't understand why it's simple math.
Because what you're seeing is one person
and then the next person and then the next person.
It's like $10, $15, $20, and then keep multiplying the amount of people that.
What do I do?
Well, it's how you want to do it.
I mean, you know.
I had no clue that my OnlyFans would actually take off.
I've made $205,361.49.
That is more than I have ever made in my life.
Calls from Austria, Switzerland, Australia, England.
Five million views, holy moly.
Sorry, my heart is racing right now.
I didn't expect to cry.
There they go.
There they go.
There they are.
Million dollars in 2020.
She's made an astonishing $43 million in earnings
over the past year.
How much money do you guys make?
Like 60k a month.
Anywhere from 10 to 20k.
So crazy.
My mom's an OnlyFans model.
Really?
Yeah, she is.
What do you think about that?
I love it.
This is my daughter and we are both OnlyFans models.
People will ask us for little videos of like of us together.
Yeah, so it's like.
I'm gonna stand in my kitchen and say, these are my dogs.
Hey, pull the mic down a little bit.
These are my dogs.
This is the door that take my dogs out.
Chad, why don't you help her?
So, no, you can say these are my dogs.
What do you mean I can say? I just say it.
I know.
I'm saying you can do good morning.
You can do, here are my plans for the day.
You can do, guess what we're doing now?
I'm going to the grocery store.
I'm going to start rehearsing a lot.
I can say.
No, you don't have to rehearse.
I'm giving you examples of things you could do.
What do you wish me to do?
Well, I mean, it's hilarious that you ask
because there's so many different lanes you can go down.
Yeah.
Here's somebody who just does this.
Hi.
I found those globos.
And in a minute they're going to,
you put a needle there and the.
Yeah, but you've got the box.
You've got similar, you could do that if you wanted.
You're just leaving money on the table.
You don't have to, I'm giving you examples.
That is true, I can do that.
It's easy money.
You know how much a guy would pay to see that every month?
Did you see how low in esteem I would be of myself?
No. No.
It's a different world.
Oh. No.
She's a school teacher.
This one's my son's kindergarten teacher.
Okay yeah. There's different things you can do.
You are degrading me. What are you talking about? Why do you keep moving it? I don't know.
I mean, it was perfectly set.
You told me.
You literally perfectly set it for you.
He was like, here you go.
It's right there.
OK, see this part?
Yeah.
Pull from there.
No, below.
Below.
Push.
Below.
Yeah, pull that down.
Just down a little bit.
There you go.
Yeah, so that your mouth is above it.
OK.
Charles, let me ask you something.
Yes.
You're gonna wake up tomorrow morning.
You're gonna make your coffee.
You're gonna eat your pastry.
You're gonna stand in your kitchen and you're gonna fart.
Now hold on.
Do you want that fart to just go nowhere
or do you wanna make a million dollars this year?
No, I want my secret fart.
Look, okay. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. Okay, but hold on. But like, look, look.
Okay.
Okay, hold on.
But like, look, she's just sitting on the couch, okay?
Yeah, okay.
And I want to make...
Look.
I mean, money in the bank.
Money, money, money.
And she's wearing jeans.
Yeah.
You think I just can't believe how disrespect
in your life you have for me to ask me if I want money,
why don't I then become a prostitute?
Okay, okay.
Here's the thing.
You don't have to sit in there with your tetas
bouncing up and down.
I'm not going to.
Or, or.
Or what, what is your respect to?
Okay, okay.
I was giving you ideas.
Oh, but stupid ideas. Just brainstorming
It's just brainstorming brainstorming. Yeah, this is a strategy sesh
So this is things
We're just talking ideas. Okay, but yeah
It's pretty cool, right? I mean you're not open to it how open on a scale of one to ten are you
forward
For only one. One.
Oh, that's something.
That's something.
I mean, you can do things like.
You say the things that I can do if I fart.
Okay, here's how about this.
You cannot give me permission.
You can do it.
You can do it.
No.
Okay.
Doesn't make any sense.
So, so far we've covered greeting people in the morning,
which is exciting.
Easy.
Yeah, hey, good morning.
Charo here, just made my coffee.
Hope you're having a great day.
People would love to start their day with that message.
Okay.
That's not degrading yourself.
Am I allowed to answer?
Yes.
The last thing in your life that you should ask your mother
is that she would like to be that low.
I just said to say good morning.
But she cannot be a prostitute because she's too old.
Okay, you're not listening.
Then she's going to fart.
You're not listening.
By the same amount of money.
Okay, what I said was, your video could be,
good morning everyone, Charo here,
hope you're having a great day, I'm enjoying,
no pedo, no tetas flopping.
And then into what you fart.
No, I didn't say that this time. I just said you could just do that. Then where am I going to come up with those words? I'm enjoying, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Push it down. Not pull it down. Not from there. From the bottom. Well, then you do it.
Because you're sitting right in front of it. Just pull it from here. Look. Look.
Go like that. Pull that down.
Here. Not there. Not there.
Why can't you talk nice?
Que cosa? Que quiere que?
Thank you, Chad.
What are you saying? I don't speak Spanish.
See you right here. Thank you.
Chad would...
Chad likes you, see?
It's gentlemen like Chad that would pay to see your OnlyFans
content.
Nice guys.
OK, you can't do this even?
Like.
["FRIENDS"]
What?
He just waved and gave a thumbs up.
That is nothing. That's a nothing burger.
I've done that on my TikToks, on my Instagrams.
It's like not a big deal.
You have done that?
All you do is he's laying down and going, hi, what's wrong with this?
What's wrong with that?
I can't believe you asked me that question because I think...
I don't see anything wrong.
I was having an impression of you to be honest. I don't understand I don't understand he's just
laying that he's showing us like I'm reclining I'm enjoying myself it does
other things I'll put you to sleep or that excite you let it be because now
that we don't have it you know you know if you're a man and woman I did the
day the thing yeah because that's how it is now. Okay. Yeah, that's true.
So you wouldn't, I just want to be clear,
for $20,000 a month, you wouldn't say,
good morning everyone, hope you're having a great day.
I just fart?
No, no one is talking about a fart anymore.
You just say good morning, I'm having coffee.
You wouldn't do that?
So you pay me $20,000?
No, I wouldn't, OnlyFans.
Yeah, please.
Yeah.
To say good morning America.
That's what they want.
Yeah, that's what they want.
They want good mornings.
For saying good morning, they pay me $20,000.
Yes.
I can even change sex and names every other week
so I can make more.
Sure.
So good morning America, I'm one person.
Yeah. Good morning America, I'm one person. Yeah.
Good morning America, I'm a different person.
Mm-hmm. Yep.
And then I pretend that I have a ching to my mom.
What?
What's lichen in the moma?
It's a language, please, I don't know.
So would you do that?
For 20,000 dollars. Yes.
What else can I say besides good morning America?
Good night.
You know what would be really cool?
Hey, I'm having my lunch.
This is what I'm having for lunch today.
Just a healthy salad.
I'm gonna go for my job.
When it's not gonna be.
So you could be like, I'm being a bad girl.
I'm having panettone and some chicken fingers.
Old times will be through.
The worst part is it doesn't change.
I know.
That's horrible.
If you could move the mic more.
Listen, so the... I thought I wasn't change. I know. It's horrible. If you could move the mic more. Listen, so the...
I thought I wasn't close.
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Don't touch it, just don't touch it.
It's perfectly set for you.
And you know why, Charles,
we don't wanna see your beautiful face.
And if you push it up, they can't see your face.
My beauty.
Here, let me show you something crazy.
You don't have to do this, but look at this guy.
Watch this.
His new game coming!
I told me.
Hold on.
No, I won't do it for 40,000.
So why should I watch this?
You don't even know what it was.
I saw the beginning.
It probably was going to come out.
No.
I still am not interested.
This is just a video.
It's nothing to do with it.
It has nothing to do with OnlyFans.
This is just a video I'm showing you.
What does it have to do with me being interested to see how
the video comes out?
But just see what happens.
You don't even see what happens.
OK.
Here's Luke incoming.
Everybody get down. Oh, wow. That's gonna make so that was a gallon jug of Pila of P and he
just threw it. And he make money for doing that? I don't think he does. No. No, he just
puts videos out. I don't think he can figure out how to do that. I can't imagine, I'm so gassed.
He hasn't figured out the commerce part of it.
But he's very focused and he's very dedicated.
But I'll tell you what.
And doing that.
He does piece that only P.
But if you did figure out OnlyFans,
you're looking at a potential millionaire right there.
Yeah.
You just saw a guy make a million dollars.
I don't envy him.
If you're going to make me do such a disgusting scene
for a million dollars, I pass.
Okay, we're moving on from OnlyFans.
And now I'm showing you videos that you tell me
whether they make you laugh, you think it's hilarious,
or whether you think it's not funny at all.
Okay. Okay?
So I go from hilarious to not funny at all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My in-betweens.
Not really in-betweens.
Well, I guess you could kind of say it's kind of funny,
but here we go.
I don't understand you.
You're asking me if this is funny or not funny?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so hold on.
Your brain is not working.
Hi, Tommy.
Wow, he has to hit the bike again.
So that was horrible
Is it anything lower than no it's horrible or hilarious? No
Horrible, okay I think that was horrible. That was pretty horrible. I agree. I didn't think it was hilarious. Hopefully this next one is
Hilarious here we go
Oh, he's paralyzed. Oh, he broke his leg.
He broke his leg.
Oh, my God.
It's a guy riding a bull just so you know for those listening.
His leg is totally sideways.
Yeah, it broke it bad.
I guess we're 0 for 2 today.
Ay, pero Tommy. No, I didn't know that was in there either.
I was just showing you what's in the folder.
He doesn't know, it's random.
It's totally random.
He doesn't put these together with producers too.
He's not responsible.
Okay, so that went horrible also.
Absolutely horrendous.
Yeah, that was bad.
That was sad.
Okay, here's the next.
I forgot, what is it that we're watching?
These are clips, and you either say it's horrible or hilarious.
Okay.
So, so far 0 for 2.
All horrible.
Okay, here we go.
Next one.
There's a woman with a horse.
Oh, shit.
The horse just kicked her.
Horrible.
Shit, we're 3 for 3 on horrible today.
I kind of liked it because I kind of hate horses and I don't like-
You hate horses?
I don't like horses. I don't like horse culture, horse people.
I think it's silly to ride them. I think there's- yeah, it's like silly.
Why would you ride a beast that can just murder you?
Would you consider going to a psychologist?
I really do. It's too late.
Is that a word?
Let's make sure. I want to make sure I saw it.
Oh yeah. How could you ask me if it's too late. Is that a word? I don't like writing that. I want to make sure I saw it. Oh yeah.
How can you ask me if it's horrible or funny?
Sometimes they're hilarious.
So, but sometimes they-
That's true.
This is hilarious for Christy.
But look how hateful that horse is.
I know, it's very hateful.
We're so spiteful and shit.
If I was married, I would be scared to watch this.
I said, well, you know.
So, so far they gave us three horribles.
My bet, if I'm a betting man,
is that this next one's gonna be absolutely hilarious.
Okay?
That means it's horrible.
Well, I think it's gonna be hilarious.
Okay, let's watch.
Okay, it's Piñata.
She's doing the piñata.
Oh, I know where this is going.
That lady better move.
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, she bet the stick!
I don't see anything funny.
Oh, shit!
Wait, did you see what happened?
Why the poor lady?
Why the poor lady volunteer?
Yeah, she was trying to tell her,
hey, don't swing yet.
But the lady wearing the blindfold didn't know where not to swing.
Here, let's see it again.
It looks like a tire iron. Is that what it's called?
See, she's like, she doesn't realize that the pinata's not hanging.
She's like, oh't realize that the pinata
My god Is that the word look at the curve on that thing is that a cult higher?
I well that's not a tire iron, but that is a so stinger's one. Yeah, it looks like a
Was a tire iron she would be still on the ground. Yeah. Yeah, she would have never gotten up
That was pretty funny was really funny. Yeah, how did you get this? Did you give her? Did you give that a hilarious or no?
You didn't lol at all. I
Did guys don't have to hurt?
Sometimes you want to take a shit and you don't know how big your shit's gonna be
So if you want all that shit to get off of your ass make sure you get one of these bidets and spray all the diarrhea
what? I'm doing an ad. Is this a commercial? yeah. I told me don't bring your ma to talk about it.
no that's not even funny. but it's an advertisement. I don't care then do it with your
okay we'll do that one later we'll do that one later. We'll do that one later. You ready? I'm gonna give you a piece of shit for you. Yeah.
The diarrhea thing.
What?
If you have diarrhea, there's nothing more upsetting
than having shit covered all over the sides of your toilet.
I told me!
I'm in the middle of an agony!
You can go to the bathroom!
I'm just like this.
You have to! They're paying for it!
When you wipe your ass and you smear shit all over.
No, no, no, no, no, don't go that low.
I have to do it. No, no, no, no, no, don't go that low. I have to do it.
No, no, no, no.
Okay.
No, I'm not your mother anymore.
You're going to start talking like that, Tommy.
You're gonna clean this shit off
the sides of your ass cheeks, off the inside.
Your kids are listening to this.
Make sure that all the diarrhea that was falling out
of your ass, onto the floor,
and into the toilet stops falling out.
I killed a rock.
It's not just liquid.
Don't record this, Don't record it.
Don't record it.
All you do is you insert the pill into your anus.
I know.
That's it.
I am not taking.
But that's how you do it.
You don't talk like that in front of me.
Go to dpill.com.
No.
Go to dpill.com slash ymh.
Christina, you shouldn't let him do this.
This is the copy.
This is the copy.
He didn't, I swear to God, this is the agency's.
Go to dpill.com slash ymh
to make sure your toilet is never filled
with that horrible, horrible shit
and inserting it rectally.
You don't allow him to do this.
This is our sponsor.
No, this is, what is sponsor?
D-Pill.
D-Pill?
Yes, right there.
It's for diarrhea.
Look.
Well, how do you think we're gonna pay
for your new washer dryer?
With the money for the D-Pill?
Yes, they're paying us to read this copy. By the way, I like how you lobbed that in there. You're like, hey, can I your new washer dryer with the money for the deep bill yes they're paying us to
read this copy by the way i like how you lobbed that in there you're like hey can i need to get a
washer dryer okay what was i i gotta go put in a deep health because they told me i have to actually
have the experience i gotta go too i gotta go home so do you know where i'm going i don't know
where you're going oh that's exhausting exhausting you guys are on your own on that yeah
exhausting
That's it Tommy Tommy Tommy no wait a minute
About my Christina. I need the money. Do I think this is hilarious?
No, no, I
Don't miss you. You're my son. Okay, let's do the last one this one if I know these guys They've been just throwing curveballs at us in there and they gave us some horrible stuff and the last one's gonna be the funniest thing
We've ever seen that's what I think is gonna happen. Here we go
There's a guy skiing right he's standing and then he gets oh my god somebody behind him knocks him clear over
I don't see that you didn't see that. So the guy that's standing here? I saw that.
Okay, he's standing and here, I'll put it here.
I didn't knock him, I was in his legs.
So there's somebody sliding behind him and he doesn't know that.
Oh, I didn't either.
See, look. See it there?
Yeah.
And he doesn't realize he's about to get hit right here.
Do you now see it?
Yes, I'm moving.
Okay, and then he hits him at such a speed.
Oh my God.
That he does a full flip and lands on his head.
Well, they're all laughing.
See?
I think that people have mental problems in this world now.
These guys have influenced us in a very negative way,
the guys in the booth.
Because the show used to be a lot nicer
before we hired them.
Why did you hire these people?
I don't know, I think about it a lot.
Well, can you cancel them?
I'm trying to cancel them, yeah.
I hear you. I'm trying to, yeah.
They're very, they're-
But we wanted to show nice things.
Yeah, we used to, we're always,
and then they would throw,
they would always mislead us and do this stuff.
I don't get it, what did they,
what, how did they mislead you?
What was that?
Thank you.
How did they, how did they,
how did they mislead me?
What?
How did they mislead me?
Yes.
I would say I wanna show nice videos,
I wanna see sailboats, you know,
I wanna see- Cats, dogs.
People on swings and like fun stuff.
And then they would put these things in my folder
and things like this.
So it's usually the three guys you see there.
Yeah.
I don't know, they kind of got us by the balls now.
You want another coffee? Why don't you drink that one got us by the balls now. You want another coffee?
Why don't you drink that one?
Sure, yeah, we can do another coffee
No, I'm not I just I'm just saying it and they're hearing us
They can hear from the microphone they know they know They heard you. What do you find funny? You know, we were watching Notting Hill the other night at the house and your mother did laugh.
I love it. I love it.
She LOLed pretty hard.
That Notting Hill?
Yeah.
What's that again?
It's like a romantic comedy with Hugh Grant.
Oh, that movie is cute though. It's a cute movie.
It is cute, but I don't know if I ever LOLed.
Like laugh out loud in that.
She really was laughing hard.
Yeah, I used to think that like,
I used to think you guys were retarded.
When I would walk past the living room
and I would hear you guys laughing at sitcoms,
I'd be like, my family's fully retarded.
Yeah.
You guys would laugh at like friends
and like this shit that's on.
Like who laughs at this they laugh at it yeah so
I'm just saying maybe we don't share a sensibility of what's funny maybe with
the more hilarious yeah which is fine you know we can't be the same person
you think that you two are hilarious well I mean I don't know I don't know I
think I have a good sense of humor yeah but that makes you you have a good sense of humor. Yeah, but that makes you, you have a good sense of humor.
Right, so I-
That's I mean, you're hilarious.
No, it doesn't mean I'm hilarious,
but I think the things I laugh at are,
I have a better sense of humor
than people who don't laugh at things.
Like I'm a superior laugher.
That's true.
I have a higher sensibility for it.
That's true.
If you laugh, even we don't know what he's laughing about,
we are all laughing.
We're all laughing.
All laughing.
But also, I mean, that's just how I think everybody
thinks about themselves, right?
Right, everybody thinks.
We all think the way I'm thinking about it.
I'm lost now.
They're the smartest and the best.
I'm looking at this, this is the guy in the key.
Why in the world are we talking about Paris?
I don't know, I don't know.
The conversation just went there. But I found something that I think will make you laugh. Okay, because this is not funny. Why in the world are we talking about Paris? I don't know. I don't know.
The conversation just went there.
But I found something that I think will make you laugh.
Okay, because this is not funny.
This is not.
Okay, how about this one?
This guy's on a roller coaster.
He passes out.
And then he wakes up.
That's so dangerous.
What? And that passes out again. That's so dangerous. What?
And that passes out again.
This is funny for you?
We're not laughing.
What is this?
This is terrifying.
And a helicopter?
A roller coaster.
Not a helicopter.
Oh, I thought it was stupid.
You didn't like that either?
No, I...
Why do you waste your time in doing things that doesn't make any sense?
Why is it funny about this?
Just to see somebody screaming and passing out?
Yeah, I mean, I am worse.
If you put me there, I don't come back.
Yeah, I'm surprised. That's good that he stayed in the...
That's how guys check on each other. Yeah, it's really loving. I know. I'm surprised that's good that he stayed in the...
That's how guys check on each other. Yeah, it's really loving, I know.
I have to tell you one thing.
It bothers me to think that the people...
They put the people upside down in this, right?
Yeah.
And it's supposed to be funny.
Yeah, it's supposed to be a thrill, like exciting.
I did a lot less and I was only 50 years younger.
No kidding.
No, actually more.
Thank you, Heather.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Don't forget to get that next one just ready to brew
and going here.
Yeah, you're talking about how you don't think
roller coasters are cool.
I know, no.
I don't really like them either.
Hurts my head and stuff. But that thing scares you? I don't really like them either. Hurts my head and stuff.
But that thing scares you?
I don't like it. I don't like it the older I get.
I'm not, I don't like it.
I don't like it either.
I think life's scary enough.
I don't need to be like a thrill seeker.
Like I'm scared of every day.
Like I go to the doctors and I'm like,
oh shit, I'm scared of every day. Like I go to the doctors and I'm like, oh shit.
Yeah. I am scared. Well, you know, we have reasons after you're a mother and a wife of not exactly
the easiest husband. Yeah. Thank you for acknowledging that. Not only acknowledging, I admire you.
Yeah. I truly admire you. What's wrong with him? What do you think? I think... I think you should go to a psychiatrist.
Yeah.
And he...let me tell you a thing.
I think...
ones are really positive, some are negative.
What do you want first?
Positives.
Extremely generous.
Very generous.
I mean, in general, great friend.
Yes. excellent father.
Very strong.
No, it's excellent, you are his wife, but he's no excellent wife, he's excellent husband.
Yes.
De que estamos hablando?
You are saying positive and negative qualities about me.
Why are you here? Why am I here?
I'm talking to Christina Tommy. I was giving you the reminder. You said what were we talking about?
You know all of a sudden I
Got an impression. Yeah, that is a you and I were dead and he show up. No
You forgot he was here. I
Was like this as you and me talking.
Yeah.
And then all of a sudden you're gray.
I'm very engaging.
Yeah, you are.
You're so dynamic.
Get that capacity.
Well, what were you gonna say?
What could Tom work on?
What can Tom work on?
As a human being, like what can he work on?
Well, he's a good comedian.
No, she's saying, what are the negative qualities
that I could address to be better?
Well, if he's better, then it's bad.
Yeah, what could I be?
If he's bad, it's not called quality for someone.
Okay, well, I said negative quality.
Yeah, negative.
Characteristic quality.
Yes.
I'd love to hear this.
This is very exciting.
Yes, I'd love to hear this. This is very exciting
Okay, I honestly don't have any or was the question
Hello, hello
Okay, yeah, well here's the thing my friend will Blunderfeld he put out a
Video that that they sent, asked us to review.
So we're just gonna take a look at that for a second, okay? To review, to see if you're...
I don't know, I don't know what it is yet, I don't know.
And I'm just fingering my stink portal
and kind of sniffing every few minutes
and really just coming into what we call
the million dollar point, which is actually technically
Wait, wait, I saw you were going to tell me about you
if you were funny or no.
No, this is our friend Will.
He lives in Canada.
He teaches men how to like get more comfortable
with themselves and like he encourages you
to like put your fingers like in your anus
and in your testicles.
I know, I know, I mean, respect to.
It's not for you though.
It's just for the audience.
This is for men.
I am part of the audience
You're not the audience. You're one of the hosts actually
Okay, I had to watch this guy portal between the dragon pearls and the portal closer to the stink portal
Is the million dollar point? It's the external pressure point for what we call the walnut
Aka the prostate gland I can't
What you can do is simply circularly stimulate it
with your middle finger.
Oh yeah, you don't know what's wrong with me.
What's wrong?
What is going on?
He's not doing anything bad.
That is lack of respect for me.
Okay, okay.
Skip this stupid.
Skip that, okay.
I really don't like it.
Okay, I mean.
All right, here.
Tom. That, I mean. All right, here. Tom, that's on a, oh dude, why is he?
Vomiting?
He's vomiting, yeah.
On that guy?
I really, is this, are you testing me if I'm stupid?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no We're just looking at the different things that come in. These all come in like in a... You asked me if I'm saying, if it's...
No, that's over.
Can I ask you something, Tom?
Is this like a fetish video
where the guy's voluntarily lying down?
It's a hazing.
Oh, like a fraternity.
So this is what's happening on the schools these days.
This is why we're here.
They go, I wanna join your thing.
And then they go, well, we have to vomit on you first
to let you into our group.
Yeah, that's what's happening here.
That's what it is.
I know. And the kids are so stupid that they accept it. Yeah, that's how bad they wanna be into our group. Yeah, that's what's happening here. That's what it is. I know.
And the kids are so stupid that they accept it.
Yeah, that's how bad they wanna be in the group.
This is a current event show.
No, this is just a current event segment of the show.
This is what people are doing.
So we like to comment on what's happening in the world.
Dear God.
Do you think this is bad?
I can see that the world is sending
and we are like in the tabs when the,
you know when COVID start,
all for the people in China.
We watch it like an event that pull these people.
Now we have everything happening in here
between the fires and the floods and the earthquakes.
Listen.
You know that our last house that we lived in burned down?
Completely, I know by a hundred people. Yeah, I
Just have to say and I know we haven't talked about it yet, but you know
But I I haven't been able to scroll anything other than the fire stuff on tik-tok
It's been devastating and I feel like it's like a movie. I'm watching it's not even real because we're not there anymore
So I can't walk through the city. That's the hardest thing in the world
It's just devastating and the palisades was Madrid our dream come true. I remember it was our dream
Especially I grew up in the San Fernando Valley
Shitty little apartment with my mom all immigrants and I only dreamed of living somewhere as beautiful as the palisades
And then we got that house and I was like, I've made it.
And even in the back of my mind.
You could read you, the house was absolutely gorgeous.
I agree.
But now there's not even the hope of going back.
There is no there.
A memory that you have with you, that's all.
And I just, my heart goes out to everybody, obviously.
That's affected.
Oh, I pray for these people and for all these events.
You know what scares me really?
I really feel this is not funny that we're coming to the end of the world.
You feel like that for real?
I swear I feel like that.
Why do you think we're coming to the end of the world though?
Tommy, thinking all the things that are happening in the world.
We have an earthquake and it was in Japan.
I don't know.
But you guys don't watch the news?
Sometimes.
TikTok.
Well, I'm too wrapped up in LA. I've lost five days. I've't know. But you guys don't watch the news sometimes tick-tock Well watch one too wrapped up in LA of last five days. I've been glued. No, no, this was 7.9 and I think in Japan
Okay
I mean everything that we watch is yes
Sorry before I forget though you guys we are raising money to help Angelino's with our t-shirt
You can get at ymh studios comm.com all proceeds store.ymhtstudios.com
it all goes to the california fire foundation that people always ask how's the money attributed it
it goes to firefighters and people affected in the community so the people the very people that are
the first responders cal fire foundation is a non a nonprofit and the money goes to that organization,
which dispenses it to firefighters, their families,
and the communities that they serve. So it's a pretty cool community.
Obviously the efforts that are going to be needed to rebuild Los Angeles,
you're looking at probably a decade.
At least. But it's one of those things where every little bit counts.
You don't have to get a shirt.
You can go straight to Cal Fire Foundation if you want to.
You can donate directly.
You could also donate clothing.
You can donate goods, perishable goods.
There's all types of places that are accepting it in Altadena and Pasadena,
by the way, which is on the eastern side of Los Angeles, where they had the, the eaten fire.
Um, they had been greatly, greatly affected too.
A lot of people might not know that that community is a lot of people living
paycheck to paycheck. Um, it's, uh,
there's a lot of people don't know how the different neighborhoods shape out.
I would also add that people in the palisades who might not be living paycheck to paycheck
are also deeply traumatized and horrified
by the fact that they lost everything.
And it's however you want to view it,
but they all need help.
Well, not, look, there's those people
that have been living in the palisades
for 20, 30, 40 years too.
And it's not just rich assholes
that are affected by this.
Schools have burned down. Can's just it's can you imagine
Being a kid. Yeah, they're racing you lose your home and your school in one day. It's just alarming
It's the end it's uh, I'm too upset. It's very very very troubling
That being said it's probably by the way at the time we recording this LA is still on fire just so I know and I don't know what it's
I really hope that by this release date. It is not but yeah
Charo
Let's show you some stuff that hopefully puts a smile on your face. Okay, okay
Don't discuss me
But why do you disrespect me like this?
It's really disgusting.
We don't know what we're gonna play.
I don't know what this is.
This is these guys.
I don't know why you're-
You don't say we have respect for my mind,
so check it out.
We gotta fire somebody today,
because this is on this team.
I agree with you.
Well, who do we fire first?
Look at their faces.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry, you're right.
This is very disrespectful.
We did not okay these videos.
Josh, are you responsible for this?
Yeah, who's getting canned?
Well, can you put yourself on the screen? There you go. You can see them on this screen.
Which one of you put these videos in front of my mother-in-law? I want answers.
Who's the guy in the hat in the back? Is that Tanner?
Yeah.
Hold on. Put him on the screen. Wave Tanner.
Do you want me to fire him?
I want to see his face to see if he lies.
Well, okay, let's see his face.
Okay, look at me please.
Can you get closer to the camera Tanner?
Yeah, he looks like a liar.
Come closer.
Closer Tanner.
I think he's scared of me.
Maybe, he doesn't want to lose his job mom.
You won't lose your job.
Okay, do you want me to fire him?
Okay, what is my question?
Do you want me to fire him?
Do you want me to fire him?
But I don't know what he did.
He got some of these videos ready.
Oh, no but don't fire him,
but you should give him a warning.
Give him a warning?
All right, consider this your warning.
Sit back down.
But you get a 30 days no?
How dare you disrespect.
Okay, you have a 30 day warning.
I don't know what that is.
There's any.
See, you see any right there?
You remember any waving?
Yeah.
You mean to fire him?
No.
Oh, OK.
Why would you fire him?
Thanks, Jara.
No, I would never do that to you.
I appreciate you, Jara.
Tell me, what is wrong with you?
I was giving you the option.
Why would I fire him?
Because he's responsible. Because he works on the team too. No, no, no. He didn what is wrong with you? I was giving you the option. Why would I fire him? Because he's responsible.
Because he works on the team too.
No, no, no.
He didn't mean to.
What about Josh in the middle?
He's Jewish.
Do you want me to get rid of him?
Oh no.
What is he doing?
Yeah.
No, nobody gets fired.
Okay, but guys, next time,
let's be a little more respectful of my mother-in-law.
I want to know first, why is it that we are firing him?
You asked who got this and you said, shouldn't they have a little more respect?
And then I said to you, how about I show you the guys that prepared everything and
you can fire somebody.
My God, no, I'm not going to fire anybody.
Okay, that would have been great.
Yeah, that is our fault though, Charles.
Sorry, we prepped those videos ahead of time.
We forgot that you were coming in.
That's our bad.
Sorry about that.
I mean, that's so sweet.
I imagine.
It's so good.
He's very sweet. They love you. They didn't know. You know like in the video
sometimes you can't really tell at a glance this looks like it's an extension of the hair. Oh that's cool.
Look up it kind of looks like sometimes it's your hair. Oh that's so cool. Yeah well this is a
hundred percent squirrel which is very tricky. How many squirrels do they have to... This costs...
Is that your phone? That is her phone. Yeah that's an old person's phone ring.
You want to put that on quiet? Yeah this is made out of a hundred percent
Texas squirrel and they had to catch about 500 squirrels. Can you believe that?
They caught 500 squirrels like in from the trees to make this jacket for her.
This is Texas squirrel.
Okay, this is not even funny.
Why?
We have an overabundance of squirrels here. We have a squirrel problem.
So they're letting people shoot squirrels out of trees.
I am moving from the United States.
Oh, I swear to you. This is nothing but criminal.
It's a huge problem. You can even, here's the thing.
They used to let you only do it with a bow and arrow.
I know!
And then they said, no, no, I'm telling you that-
And you buy that jacket?
Of course, it supports the Texas economy.
Now they're letting people stab them with knives and throw rocks.
I told me.
I'm serious.
Well, I'm telling you-
We're telling you the truth.
This is a squirrel problem in this.
They are tearing up people's gardens,
and the resources for the squirrels
are out of control right now.
It's really crazy.
And their meat is not very good.
It's very gamey, so we're not taking away food
from the homeless or anything like that.
It's just the squirrels alone for this.
Can I talk?
I love squirrels.
You do?
Why? They're such menaces. Can I talk? Isn't that crazy? I love Squirts. You do?
Why?
They're such menaces.
I don't know what you are,
but they are no menaces, whatever the menaces is.
They're like villains.
They're like the villains of suburbia.
Yes, they are.
They steal those nuts from the other creatures.
So how do you want them to survive?
But making jackets.
They need to be-
So you kill them for them to survive.
You're brilliant.
Well, we have to kill them to keep the population down.
They're rascals.
So you told me that they keep.
Their fur is nice.
So these are all the tails.
Ay, Cristina.
They just use the tail.
And then I throw away the body, because who cares?
What?
You know what they kind of are, though?
Are you trying to be funny?
No. Here's the thing though.
Because this is not funny.
It's not funny.
These are the gypsies of the animal kingdom.
True story.
You know how when you see a gypsy,
you're like, oh, he can sing, he can dance.
And then you realize, where did my wallet go?
It's kind of like a squirrel.
They taunt our dogs, they taunt your cats.
I know they steal the food from the birds.
Yep. I still love them. Look how many jackets you're like swinging by right cats. I know they steal the food from the birds. Yep. I still love them.
Look how many jackets you're like swinging by right now.
I see.
Made out of squirts.
Well, I'm saying I'm scrolling this.
I'm thinking of jackets and jackets and jackets
that they're gonna make.
We gotta get into this business.
You have the worst mentality.
What, me?
Tommy, you are becoming extremely materialistic.
What?
Why?
Yeah.
I don't think so.
He's already thinking that we can sell, that we can-
Make jackets.
Make jackets.
No, he's an environmentalist.
That's different.
He's an environmentalist, he's a criminal.
I mean-
He wants to get rid of the-
Oh my god, no man!
Look, here's one of those menacing little critters
right now.
Oh, I'm dying.
That's the exact squirrel we have problems with. This particular breed. See now you want a jacket. I can get you a jacket. No thanks.
But you can bring me a squirrel. Look, it's holding a gun. I know. It's a Texas squirrel.
Funny story. He's trying to fight us. Wait, have we talked about the cruise? Yeah we did.
So um. We did? We did. Yeah we did this already. So I just don't think happy my head again. They said can we talk about Hawaii?
I still remember
Everybody remembers, you know what I think you would like
Yeah, I am NOT alcoholic
No, no, but I do remember that every time I come to the show, I look like an alcoholic
because I watched five shows and look at, whoa.
Nobody says that.
You guys are just feeding me and feeding me
to see this look honey.
That's not honey.
That's not honey?
That's not honey.
No.
What's not honey?
The opposite of serious.
Is honey? The opposite of serious. Is honey?
Funny.
Charro, may I ask you a personal question?
It's respectful. It is with all respect.
You're a player of bridge.
You loved playing bridge back in Florida.
And when you came to Texas, I offered to find you a bridge
opportunity to go play with other people and stuff and then I sent you an
Opportunity today to go play at a bridge club and you declined. Why did you decline?
You can tell the truth I I'm telling the truth.
The truth is, you know, this is a really hard stage right now for me.
Sure.
Because of the twenty-some more years in one place.
The only, you know, the light here that really make me all do is for the two of you and my
kids, my babies.
But it's a hard change at my age. Yeah. And the place I lived
longer since I got married was Vero. And Vero is a very small town, you know, you take my
left and go straight to my church. I go out here, go to my right, drive another ten minutes,
and there's my bridge and the cemetery. So this is wonderful, but I want to tell you,
you guys couldn't be more generous, more loving,
more caring, and I really feel like I'm my family
and I have moved because I went from one side of my family
to the other one and I never spent time with you guys.
And you gave us not only a dream,
but an impossible thing to have more on my edge.
Having this private, whatever you want to call it, even Cochimane or Idase, it was
so much love.
It was, excuse me, you guys can make coffee, wine, and water.
Which one should I choose?
Back to the bridge. May I just, may I, you wrote back and you said,
this bridge is a social club.
I play for money.
No, I pay to play.
I don't play for money.
You pay to play?
Yeah.
Yes, it's a club.
And if you want to play, you have to pay.
And my club was $10 each time I got to play.
I don't win anything.
If I play really well, I might get half of a point.
But since I lost my husband, which means three years ago,
I was a decent player.
Since then, well, I didn't play for over a year.
But since then, I haven't even got a point.
You don't practice it for a few years.
It's hard at my age.
Everything is hard at my age.
You're old as shit.
You're 80 years old.
Well, how old are you that you pretend that you're a baby?
You're not a teenager.
I'm 33.
You're not 33.
34 in April.
Okay, I am going to be 78.
No, excuse me. We have land of 68.
You're gonna be 68?
Wait till you see me after this. I want to make it public.
Public.
That he offered me to pay me
to make the milk look like the 92.
What?
I don't know. But I am going to do a thin. to make the milk look like the 92. What? What?
I don't know, but I am going to do a thin.
You want to get filler.
A thin.
And I told you I found a doctor,
but you can't just go to some nickel and dime place
and get filler. No, it's not nickel and diamond,
excuse me.
You have to go to a reputable plastic surgeon.
Yeah, but they want, not because I don't want to postpone it.
Oh my gosh.
She just wants to get a quick fix.
There's no quick fix.
Did you get any injections already?
Did you do anything?
Yes.
How'd it go?
She didn't have time for me.
Oh.
But no, there's no story.
She told me she can do both of us, only in two areas.
I didn't ask her the reason,
I suspected the age or whatever.
And that she cannot do anything else
because it's my appointment.
So she did the both, which is kind of stupid to be honest.
I can't remember where.
You don't remember where?
I don't remember if she did it here or here.
Probably your forehead.
It was here, I remember now.
That's the story, but you owe me, wait a minute,
you owe me a lot of money.
And I want to make it public, and I want you to affirm.
Not like one time, hey, I'm talking to you.
Yeah, no, hey, what's up?
Jesus, Joe Paccio.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, years ago.
Oh, we're going to years ago.
Wait, I don't know, two years, a year and a half.
Oh my god.
But we agree.
I forgot that.
So did you know that people are also getting filler
in their buttholes and in their vaginas?
Ah, no.
In their vaginas? Yeah, yeah,tholes and in the vagina in their vaginas
Yeah, okay, they're putting them in their vagina safe. They're putting
I'm getting out you don't talk to me. I am still your mother. So please respect. What about hold on?
I understand you're a sad girl. No, what about a breast? Your breast enhancement? Would you consider getting a boob job?
Me here's the thing. I know you don't like wearing a bra.
Ha ha ha ha.
You can get implants so that you don't even have to wear a bra.
This is way too funny.
She liked it.
But if you get implants, you can put a mask in there.
I don't laugh when I like.
I only laugh when we're smiling.
No, ha ha ha, this is funny.
But that's so much, that woman has balloon honey and there's a her tetas
Impossible. They are okay. Take him to leave the shirt. She can lift that shirt. We'll take her to do it
I don't have her number because nobody have to take us in the shape of a balloon without the nose. I heard that does no
Okay, thank I'll go line
Okay, that's it? No.
She has size 40 P jugs.
And then she can make them clap by doing this.
She's trying to promote her OnlyFans account
and attract more fans.
Yeah.
You pay to watch it though?
Yeah.
You pay for more access.
You can see them without the shirt.
I think we really are losing anything in this world.
I do think it's funny.
No, no.
Oh, we don't laugh.
Here's the thing that I do think is,
this is something I think is funny.
So,
Everything you think is funny,
as long as it's disgusting, it's filthy, it's insulting,
it's funny.
So we encourage, this is her, mom.
So you can see that her chest is really her chest.
Oh wow.
Oh wow, those are pea cups.
That's enormous.
That's not her chest.
Yeah, that's her.
That's her chest.
Oh wow.
That's her head still?
Yeah, she's got them.
Dude, it's so big.
She's got a bra on.
Tommy, that's not, that's.
But look how much people love it.
Fire, fire emoji, fire.
I love all your videos and pictures.
Oh, so sexy.
You know what that tells you?
What?
That people are mean.
No, they love her.
Mean?
It's not mean.
What do you mean?
They're being sincere.
What do they tell her?
They dance, they jump.
That she looks great.
No, so sexy, they love it.
Your videos and pictures are amazing.
I love them.
Oh, well it's a nice, nice public, whatever it's called.
Okay.
So, we encourage people, mom, to go to Starbucks
and go to the drive-thru, okay?
Yeah.
And order your coffee in a British accent, okay?
And then to tell the person that works at Starbucks,
happy birthday.
These are Americans generally doing this,
so they're not Brits, but they're pretending to be British.
And what we've asked them to do is record yourself saying,
Hello, love, let me get a coffee and you look lovely and happy birthday.
And then send us the video.
And because we did it and we had fun doing it.
So we have asked people to do it and now they're doing it.
OK, so that's what you're going to see.
Hi, how are you today?
I'm doing all right. How are you doing? Excellent. Oh, my goodness. Where are you? Are you from Australia? So that's what you're gonna see What is this?
What is this?
Please! Oh, that was awesome. That was amazing. She was great. Oh, you guys are really losing it. But do you see like chicks dig a British accent too?
Oh my God, do they ever?
Dude, and he got a best drink of the day.
Wait, wait, wait.
I don't know if you're serious.
I'm totally serious.
This is a joke.
You have a really serious problem.
I don't think we want to talk here because people can't hear us.
What? Okay. Tommy, if you think, what was it that we just watched? I don't think we want to talk here because people can't hear us. What?
Okay.
Tommy, if you think, what was it that we just watched?
I don't remember.
Okay, I just got through explaining to you what you were going to see.
I said I told people to go to Starbucks, speak in a British accent, and then tell the person
working there, happy birthday.
Okay.
Do it again, I bet.
I mean, we just watched the whole thing.
We just watched it.
I don't remember.
Can you hear it in your headphones?
Can you hear the clip?
I mean, I did it first.
Oh, sorry.
Happy birthday.
Do you want a straw or a drink, son?
Straw.
Okay.
That's you.
Right.
Okay, well, what were you doing?
Happy birthday, thank you.
Hello, love. Thank you. Thank you. Hello, love. Thank you. Thanks, love.
Thanks, love. The kids are in the back. They love that. Okay. Thanks, love. They're laughing
right now. They love it. There you go for your birthday. What do you give her? 20 bucks. That's nice. What accent is that? I don't know. A bad British one. It's supposed to be an awful British accent.
Like as bad as they all are trying to be. Yeah, so we're telling our listeners, because we've done, you tell the listeners to go to Starbucks or wherever, drive through and do a fake British accent.
And you have to say, happy birthday.
And keep the accent.
Keep the accent the whole time.
Do a bad British accent.
Okay, hold on.
There was another question that had nothing to do with it.
Okay.
Here's another one.
Keep thinking.
Excuse me, I can't hear you.
What'd you say?
Can I have a large iced coffee, please?
I got it.
Yes, happy birthday.
That's all. All right, 4.75, we'll round it around. I got it Yes
This is one of the stupidest things I've ever watched.
Yes, that's the point.
Alright, I love you. Thank you.
No reaction.
So good.
This is so funny.
This is so bad.
Yeah, so much fun. Can I tell you what happened to me?
Is this your show really? Wait, can I tell you the coolest thing happened to me this weekend? I was with our sons at
a restaurant and you have to walk up to the cashier to order, right? So Julian and I are
there, we order, we're just kind of standing here. A woman comes up and I hear her go,
Hey, Hitler, I'd like to order a cheeseburger and fries and da da da. And then she goes,
thank you you mommy.
What?
And I was like, and we both went,
it was the coolest thing ever.
Really?
Yeah, I saw it in the wild.
I saw one in the wild.
That's amazing.
You like that?
I loved it.
And your song confused you with another woman,
you think this is something to look?
What?
I don't think she understands.
You said you were in a place,
where the wait, with a woman that looks like you.
And you both sat and start talking.
That's not what she said.
Okay, I want to hear it again.
Let's watch the videos.
I am not losing it.
Yeah, maybe we should explain it through these videos.
Okay, here we go, here's another one.
No, another one, why don't we go back to the ones. Hold on. What did he say? Hello governor. Happy
birthday. Okay. Have you tried that drink before? You guys are having more than
serious. I told my brother it was good, he didn't believe me.
And he finished it in four sips.
He believes me now.
What is this about?
Happy birthday.
I don't have any idea what are we talking about about the guy.
I'm gonna throw up.
Saying happy birthday to somebody
and you guys are laughing like,
this is as dumb as you can go.
Welcome to the show.
Oh, that's the whole thing?
Yes.
Oh, I can make my own show.
That's what people love.
You can.
Well, that's the other thing.
So your OnlyFans is obviously in the works.
We're not gonna quit until you sign up.
But.
I'm not for what?
OnlyFans.
To say good morning, good evening, good night.
That's all I have to say for real?
Yes.
Say hello, governor.
No, that's not good morning.
No, just say it.
No, just say it.
Hello, hello, governor.
Hello.
Hello, hello, governor.
Yeah.
Governor.
Yeah.
Governor.
Can you say, can you say,
Happy birthday.
It's your birthday.
It's your birthday.
There you go.
I mean, that's fantastic.
That's perfect.
How do you say in French?
Whatever I'm, I forgot what I'm saying.
Bonjour, le gouverneur.
Bonjour.
Bonjour.
Bonjour, le gouverneur.
Good morning.
Good morning.
I don't know.
It's big sun ashes.
Joyeux anniversaire.
Yeah.
Why do you have to screw up shows?
Every time, who is that guy there? Happy birthday. Yeah. Why do you have to screw up shows?
Every time, who is that guy there?
That guy?
That's the glass guy that said happy birthday.
I want to keep him there.
Yeah.
Bonjour, governor.
Bonjour, governor.
I will say it again.
I'm so retarded.
I want to hear the accent. I have to pick it.
Which one?
Maybe Christina should do it.
The French or the British one?
Neither one is...the French.
Bonjour, gouverneur.
Bonjour, gouverneur.
Bonjour, gouverneur.
Oh, this is sexy, look.
Bonjour, gouverneur. Oh, this is sexy, look.
Bonjour.
Governor.
And then, it is your birthday?
Is that French?
Yeah.
It sounds like a French trying to speak in English.
That's the whole point.
It is a French trying to speak in English.
Ah, well, you didn't say that part, so that was my brain function.
It is.
The whole sentence.
It is your birthday? It is? The whole sentence.
It is your birthday?
It is your birthday.
Yes.
Okay.
Can I have
an
café latte?
Happy birthday?
Happy birthday.
Can you do that today at Starbucks later?
Perfect.
Are you going to pay me for saying that?
No, he's part of the show.
He's a part of the show.
I'm going to go to Starbucks.
That's why you do only fans.
I want to have a latte coffee.
Happy birthday.
Okay, okay.
Don't talk.
Oh, hit the speaker.
Just repeat what you hear.
Listen.
Repeat.
I want to have a coffee.
Happy birthday.
Oh, how beautiful.
I don't understand anything. Again? The speaker. Just repeat what you hear. Listen. Repeat. Can I have a coffee on my happy birthday?
Oh, how beautiful.
I don't understand anything.
Again?
One more time?
I haven't understood a word.
Can I have a coffee on my happy birthday?
Can I have a coffee on my happy birthday?
Perfect.
Wow, that was really impressive.
What is it that she was supposed to say?
She's saying, can I have a cafe latte?
Happy birthday.
Hello, Gavnet.
We should have a cafe latte.
Oh, I have to talk to Tom.
Can I watch that guy do a governor again?
Yeah, sure.
So funny.
He goes, hello, Gavnet.
Hello, governor.
It's your birthday.
It's your birthday.
Why you laugh?
Do it again?
Can you hit it again?
Bonjour le gouverneur
Bonjour le gouverneur
Bonjour le gouverneur
Okay
One more time
I like the gouverneur
Happy birthday
That guy in the window just had to probably went,
oh my, what dude?
Hello Govna.
I don't get the jokes.
I love hello Govna.
So that expression is like a really old timey,
like a working class, Southie.
I lost it totalmente.
Okay, well, it's an accent that is...
Make it in short, please.
It's like a Cockney way of saying hello.
She doesn't know what that means.
It's like a Laowa slang.
It's slang. It's like British slang.
Oh, okay.
Hello, governor.
Okay.
It's like slang.
That sounds like, you know what?
Hello, governor.
Sounds like a farmer.
Right. Right.
It's supposed to be kind of low class, yeah.
You're sounding like you're not a pro-
Why are you sounding British with low class?
Cause it's fun.
It's within the British, like there's a scale-
There's a class system.
Spectrum to the accent.
Like in your stupid American.
Yeah, yeah.
But so like if you say, how y'all doing?
It sounds like a certain type of person.
My type of person.
That's your type of person.
That's right.
That's why we like the governor. That's what I'm saying. Your governor is- That's why we like certain type of person. My type of person. That's your type of person. That's right.
That's why we like the governor.
That's what I'm saying.
Your governor is...
That's why we like this kind of stuff.
No, no, no.
Stop there.
What's happening?
I don't want to talk about your governor because I don't care for any governor there.
Who is your governor?
Oh my God.
What are we talking about?
I forget.
Who is your governor?
Because I don't know what I'm saying.
Who is your governor?
What is happening?
My governor is... What are we talking about? I forget. Who is your governor? Because I don't know what I'm saying. Who is your governor?
My governor is,
but,
el que fue before.
Oh my God.
El que fue before.
Don't ask my opinions about anything political.
No, we're not getting into the hall.
No, I think we should stick away from that.
Not the topic that we can touch here.
No.
I want to ask you a few questions.
Okay.
Have we talked about the cruise?
Yes, yes.
It's been a few times already.
Did I thank you?
No, wait a second.
We gotta keep watching.
I don't think it's fair and it's disrespectful
when I'm talking and you throw me the...
What is that?
There's a woman screaming.
Well, I am talking.
Yeah, I didn't.
I'm not coming back.
Why?
I am talking and you throw me...
That's when I am talking.
No, it's just a thing here.
It's just a thing here.
You know what?
I have water, I have a towel, I will.
So, here's what we're gonna do.
I am talking. Oh, I didn't know you were talking, go ahead. No, you give the respects. Oh, I will. So here's what we're gonna do. Oh, you told me, but I am talking.
Oh, I didn't know you were talking, go ahead.
No, you give the respects.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Can you please tell me what you were saying?
I don't remember.
Okay.
But I know I was talking.
Okay.
I know, I know.
I said, I have water.
And then you said, well, as we were talking about it,
and you just throw me out.
I'm still the mother.
Totally. All of you wouldn't be here.
That's true.
I mean, you would be here but no one would come.
I wouldn't have my sweet, wonderful husband.
I wouldn't have my grandbabies if it weren't for you.
Yeah.
It's true.
If it weren't for you.
You wouldn't have your grandbabies
and you wouldn't have your husband.
My whole life I have to thank you.
It's true story.
Thank you, Gavna.
Thank you, Gavna. Thank you, Gavna. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. It's true story. Thank you, Governor. Thank you, Governor.
Thank you, Governor. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still,
still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still,
still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still,
still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still,
still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still,
still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still,
still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still,
still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still,
still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still,
still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still,
still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, still, Who was Abbott? This is a governor. Senor Abbott. The same thing or no? The same thing. He's still the governor.
Same thing.
Yeah.
So.
What happened with Arnold Schwarzenegger?
He was governor.
It's been a while.
He did a good job.
He was governor in California.
That's the question.
Yeah, but.
Wait, Tommy.
Three things I want to talk.
No, no, no, no.
This is extremely serious.
The fires in California.
OK.
I mean, praying all over the world for this,
it's very sad for people.
That was Josh.
That was Josh.
And he pushed the button.
Josh, stop pushing that.
So I cannot talk about anything serious.
No, you can't, you can't.
He's being so disrespectful.
That was completely uncalled for.
He should apologize.
Cut his salary and give it to the poor.
Give it to the poor. That's a great idea. He knows, he's on board with that idea. He's so disrespectful. He and give it to the poor. Give it to the poor.
That's a great idea.
He knows, he's on board with that idea.
He's so disrespectful.
He's mentioned that to me before.
He doesn't, what?
He's wanted to do that, he said he was gonna do that.
So you said-
So you accepted?
I accepted, I said donate your salary, he said yes.
Oh, okay.
Well, you do the same.
I've done that as well.
It's your birthday.
It's my birthday.
So-
It's my birthday? So- I want to say it again. You said you want to talk about the fires. One more done that as well. It's my bad day. It's my bad day. So. It's my bad day.
So.
I want to talk, say it again.
You said you want to talk about the fires.
One more time.
You said you want to talk about the fires
and how destructive they are,
how the end of the world is coming
because of things like the fires.
I hear handi and three million percent agree.
And there's so many people's pronouns.
It's all indicators that the world is coming to an end.
Yes.
Okay.
Anything else?
Doesn't that scare you enough?
I just didn't know if there was another...
You know what, Tommy, that bothers me is, you know, how Catholic, devoted, and believer I am.
So for me, when I talk about anything related to the world...
Can you pull the mic down some?
Like who?
Can you pull it from here? From here.
Reach the other way.
Closer to you.
Below.
Lower.
Right here.
The opposite.
That and a super cut of...
What are we talking about?
That part.
Thanks, Jack.
Pull it down. There you go. No, not up. This is what I want to do. No, no, no. Put it down
because it covers your face. We don't want it to cover your face. We want it to be like this.
I would be a wish. Oh, by the way, you want to pay me for the beautiful future face. Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I really want to talk about something serious. Okay, so the end of the world. No,
no, this is really serious. This is really serious.
This is very serious.
I want to go over, no, who cares?
You want to come in, who cares?
Who cares?
Who cares?
Who cares?
I thought you guys.
Because of your Catholic devotion,
you were saying.
What was the question?
May I ask you this, since you are a devote Catholic.
Josh, please. You have to let me tell you one thing, Tommy.
This is extremely serious. I know. No. You don't know what I'm going to say. If we talk about
religion, if you don't have extreme respect to my religion. I do. I do. I really made me cry.
I don't want to. No, I'm just asking you. This means a lot to me. Is there anything in the Bible
about the end of times? Is it similar to what's happening now?
No. No. Okay. Well, then that's good. Then we're okay. And I know you think this is funny.
I don't think it's funny. I don't see anybody's taking serious. We start with the...
The fires? No, not the vaccine. The vaccines? The vaccine was. The pandemic, COVID. Because of COVID.
COVID is an indicator.
COVID was an indicator.
The glaciers are melting.
The glaciers are melting.
I mean, just go in order.
No, you're right.
And you're not wrong.
The temperature of the Earth went up.
How about that?
Yes, you're right.
The temperature in every place.
But I think you think this is funny for you.
No, pizza gate, it's all there.
I know.
It's horrible.
It bothers me.
I think any sensitive person, it bothers.
Why is that?
I hear people laughing when I'm saying.
But may I tell you something? I don't know. I don't know. I pizza gate is all there. I know. It's horrible. It bothers me.
I think any sensitive person.
It bothers.
Why is I hear people laughing when I'm saying.
But may I tell you something?
That's why it's so important that we provide laughter.
Hold on.
Enjoy for people.
That's why hello governor is very important
and happy birthday.
It's that when the world is so silly and serious,
it's nice that there's some place and some people
that go, you know what, it is all serious,
it is all heavy, everything is substantial
and the gravity of things are very weighty.
So it's nice that there's somebody that-
Can I say it short, please?
Yeah, please, but it's all, it's like Sunday sermon.
She's like, speed it up.
Get your point.
The point being laughter is important.
Listen, it's important to make people laugh still.
Because the world is getting darker.
Any!
Okay, this part is not funny.
It's not funny.
One more time, one more time.
The disrespect.
Guys, come on.
This is not funny.
I don't know.
This is the last time I say it. Seriously, first for real. I agree you keep doing it and The disrespect. Guys, come on. I'm really sorry. This is not funny. I don't know what,
this is the last time I say it.
Seriously, for real.
I agree you keep doing it and you guys,
no, it's them.
Knock it off.
I'm sorry, it's buttons.
Okay, you have zero respect in this place.
Who runs this place?
I thought I did.
Well, obviously you don't.
But clearly, they've taken over.
I don't know, I don't know what to do.
And Christina Camias has a guest
to show how pretty she is or what?
That's so rude.
From Tommy or from the company?
Oh my God.
I'm trying my hardest to keep these boys in line.
You are the one who is doing it.
Doing what?
The right thing!
Again, guys!
I mean, I don't know how else to yell at them.
But what is this stupid thing anyway?
I don't know.
I'm, you know what?
It is upsetting.
This is so dumb.
Tom, we need to, your mother's right.
We should change how we do this show.
I know.
I don't, I don't want this anymore.
What would you, what should we do?
We don't know.
The problem is we're so depressed.
I know the idea that you changed the show.
Well, what should we do?
You tell me.
Okay, number one, I will clean up
the act of the partsarts and stupid things.
Maintain your class. You two are brilliant people.
So no farts?
No, Christina. Why is the point of the fart to make people laugh?
What the hell, guys?
What happened?
I don't know. So we clean up the act okay I am perfectly fine thank you all
right I'm just making sure I'm just yeah it looked like you were about to what
I thought you were gonna have a belch I thought you were going to have a belch. I was going to give you a moment.
What is a belch?
Like a burp?
I thought you had gas.
No, no, I don't have those things.
They were gone.
What kind of things should we be talking about?
Like if you could have notes for us on the show,
what do you think would make it better?
How to make it clear.
How do my asshole smell, huh?
That would be a good way to improve your show.
Get out of those filthy stuff.
Yeah.
You can say we will be back and put something funny,
but no, you know, like Mafalda.
What?
What?
You make farts with claps?
I don't know.
I thought we were talking about how do we can improve things?
How we can like get away from stuff like that.
Something funny like Notting Hill.
So should I be, I should watch that.
Maybe we should watch Notting Hill as a company.
You know, why don't we do, here's what I want you to do.
Josh.
I just saw it not too long ago.
Josh, set up a screening of Notting Hill
for the entire company to watch together.
You got it.
And then I want to do a podcast
that is inspired by the movie Notting Hill.
What does Notting Hill have to do with the kitchen?
It's a tone.
It's a tone that you want to adapt.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, we want you to come back on the show and I want to-
And see if it's like Notting Hill approved.
What does have- wait a minute.
What is Notting Hill?
Because you thought it was funny.
Remember you were at my house?
Yeah, I love it.
And you, yeah, you love it.
And so I wanna make a show that you're proud of.
What is the end world?
Ah!
So I wanna watch with the staff, Notting Hill,
and see what's funny in there,
and then maybe we could put that in your mom's house
and make it a better show.
Yeah.
One that you'd be proud of.
I am always proud.
No, no one you talk so grotesque and disgusting.
It's yucky.
It's so low class.
It is so low class.
But you guys are, what do you like to be in between?
Maybe the lowest or the highest?
The highest.
The highest.
The highest.
If it's not the highest, can you just be normal
to accept some in the grotesque and high?
Normal.
You know what? I compliment that bitch. This is coming with me. Yeah, what? to accept some in the grotesque and normal.
You compliment that bitch.
This is coming with me.
Yeah.
Yeah, what?
Do you want a squirrel jacket?
I can get one for you.
Do you or don't you?
It's clear, but what is wrong with you?
Why?
Because you already asked me this around 25 times.
But you don't want, you're telling me you don't admire me.
By the way, on this.
You know what?
I don't care what you tell me.
I think you told me a lot of things about the squirrels.
A lot of things on, okay, the squirrel stuff. They can kill me. When I show you the squirrel issues on this... You know what? I don't care what you tell me. I think you told me a lot of things about the squirrels. A lot of things on...
Okay, the squirrel stuff.
Oh, they can kill me.
When I show you the squirrel issues in this state...
I love them.
But here's the thing.
The fact that the state is paying people to shoot squirrels and stab them, like hit them
with hatchets...
Don't tell me that is true because that's not funny.
I'm against you.
True.
And the homeless can hunt them and eat them.
It's a service.
You also, by the way, in this episode...
This is not funny.
You know that this episode, you have.
No, I, you know.
You have.
You don't waste your time with me.
You have cut me off so many times, it told me to wrap it up quicker, get to the point.
You know that you've done that multiple times?
Have I?
Yes. It's very disrespectful. And I, I think, can I tell you something? I think it hurts
Tom's feelings.
Because what is it that I did?
It hurts Tom's feelings when you don't listen
to his full thought and you cut him off.
But if you're going to make it 35 minutes
every time what he thinks.
Oh my gosh, that's not true.
Number one, when was I rude?
You cut him off.
You know what, did I tell you I'm having my own show?
You know that? You have what? I'm gonna have my own show? Did you know that?
You know what?
I'm gonna have my own show.
Your own podcast.
What is it gonna be like?
That thing.
What is it gonna be like?
Nice things?
Pleasant things?
The name of the show?
What's it called, Nice Things?
No, she's saying what will your podcast be like?
What will?
It's yours, so you can do whatever you want.
I know, I'm thinking and making it, you know, amazing,
but not because you do something like that.
What could it be about?
Well that's the thing I mean what's compelling to you? What's interesting?
No farts.
Well then no farts.
If I am not going to have followers because I'm not disgusting doesn't make any sense
that I have to show it you know if I make it clean funny, I'll be there.
So if you like it, so this.
Like Bill Cosby, he was clean funny.
Yeah.
No, Bill Cosby's comedy was very clean funny.
Yeah, and then in jail, you want me to do it like that?
Well, it's not my fault.
Well, they won't take me to jail.
That's not my fault.
All right, number one.
I seem old, so I'm not as stupid as I was when I was jail. That's not my fault. Number one, I seem old, so I'm not as stupid
as I was when I was 20.
That's true.
So you see I'm gonna do something.
I just want the world to know you're not my son.
You're actually adopted.
Because I would never raise my kids to go into the game
to do all these disgusting things and I think it's funny.
You don't, and I know you don't, because I know.
Check it out, you know what I'm saying?
This is a fear, you know what I'm saying?
Who is this?
What the fuck, you guys?
So why you keep thinking this in between?
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
You know what I'm saying, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
What is this?
Do I have any TikToks we could show her?
I'm gonna start talking in TikTok.
You are?
You should.
How do I do it?
Oh, you would have a huge TikTok following.
You would have a huge, oh, here we go.
Ah!
Oh, shit.
I found this account that only shows people
falling from heights.
And I don't show it to me.
Why?
Because I don't think it's funny to be dumb.
To be dumb? Yeah, you go up to high and then have to jump in this. Wait don't think it's funny to be dumb. To be dumb? You go too high and
decide to jump in this. No, it's an accident. This is to help people. It's an accident.
Wait a minute. Waiting to happen and people enjoying it and paying to watch it. No, this
is educating the public on what not to do to keep them safe. Why? Why then is that like
that? This is positive. Okay. I think it's a Persian guy.
I don't have a clue.
Maybe Turkish.
Oh yeah, it could be like Turkish.
I tell you what it is.
Okay.
What?
Okay.
Oh, is that Arabic?
Are you answering him? is Pachalana, or is that Arabic? What is he saying? I don't know.
Pachalana, Pachalana, Pachalana.
You understand?
Are you answering him?
You understand?
This might be a good segment for your new show.
Yes!
It's gonna look like Pachalana.
I have an idea.
What if it's a Love Connection show?
I could do that.
I would have my followers for Love Connection.
Okay, how do we call it?
Because there is 50,000 gold.
Como era?
Love Connection. It's like, it's like's like, how many of these do they have?
I don't know. It's last, last chapter love connection or?
This is it. The final, the final connection. What is your friend? The final connection.
Because you're killing us? No, cause you guys are about to die. Cause you're old. That's
dumb. You can die before us. Terminal connection. Be careful. You know, you think this is funny?
Yeah. I don't think God thinks it's funny. Well, I'm not laughing. Hey, I'm gonna probably die before you.
You start like that. Laughing. We almost hit this when you were laughing. Okay. So what about just like, we're old, but we
ain't dead or something like that. What are we talking about right now? Your show? My show? I have nothing to do with my show
Okay. Hello stick nation. I'm calling from Uppsala in Sweden and I want to show this amazing stick they have found
Wow, that stick is incredible. Super sick. Yeah.
That's rad. Who want me to do stuff like that? Maybe like you can do a thing about sticks that you find in the yard
And then I find you to do it for me.
No, this would be your...
I'm not having to have a show about dumb things.
You know one time people were like...
This is dumb?
This is so dumb.
People asked to see more cactus material.
Remember when we were doing the cactus stuff or sticks?
You could do a whole thing on sticks.
Tommy, this is so dumb.
Wait, can I tell you something?
I think you guys, you were going up, up, up in the rage and don't know what
else to do.
Thinking and going better, you're starting like this.
Hold on.
My rage has been overflowing lately, so I filmed my rage ritual this morning so you
can see what healthy rage can be.
Catharsis.
I like it.
Yeah, she's letting out her...
Is this how you spend your mornings?
But she's making money!
My morning!
Not to make my morning, but I will do it.
Is this how you feel doing our show?
I know some people do this.
No, I don't want...
You're talking about me doing this for a show?
You don't have to do this for the show.
No, no, no, no.
It's healthy rage.
If I am desperate to make money and somebody tell me I'm this dumb, but I make money, I'd be this dumb.
I don't know.
You could totally do this on your OnlyFans.
What the hell you just said.
So my show's going to be-
You hitting this pillow, getting out your rage,
maybe against Tom and me for putting you through this show
and Josh Zollo and any-
Here's the other thing you have to-
That you are doing a commercial for yourself right now.
What?
Hold on.
You thank Tom and me.
And them for playing these clips.
Listen, this is a real serious question.
If you have a-
The other ones weren't serious?
Well, this one's more serious.
If you have a very committed fan who is,
they subscribe to you,
and you know that when they send you a message,
when somebody sends you a message like,
what's up?
And you reply, they have to pay you to reply, okay?
So every time-
To reply? Yes, but just let me reply. Okay? So every time...
To reply?
Yes, but just let me finish. So if they're very committed, they're paying their monthly
subscription, they're choosing to engage with you and paying you to reply every time, a
couple bucks, a couple... Like, you know, if you have a 20 message reply, you made like
50 or more dollars. If someone's doing that day after day,
would you consider having like a little fart video
that you would send as a bonus?
No, no, no, why don't you start by that?
That's so dumb.
Okay, all right.
Wasting time, no, no.
All right.
You made me talk about money for a leg day.
I told me.
Well, who's that?
Tommy.
It was you.
I thought it was fine.
I don't know.
I think she's about to fall off a mountain.
And you made this as a joke show.
No, they saved her.
Okay.
Okay.
They saved her.
Look, she had a rock climbing accident.
I am going to have to change topics.
Okay.
Oh my God.
I can't.
This is Martez.
He has made a serious mistake.
Somehow he has squeezed into this maze.
Take a look.
His most logical entrance is from above.
He's an idiot.
He's an idiot?
Yep. He's so stupid.
The ground has been churned up by his feet and knees.
Meaning he's been stuck here for quite a while
in this kneeling position.
Can I get a coffee, please?
You want another coffee, for real?
What do you mean another coffee?
One cup of coffee doesn't make me another coffee.
Please?
No, we're not calling it that.
But for today?
His words sound calm, but his face betrayed him.
You have something like you push a button and they come, no?
Do I have to push a button and they come?
Like a butler?
Yeah.
No. I can do that here. I have to get this isn't the four seasons
For me like five seasons
And then copy that coffee on the way there
Menti, yeah
Wait, can I explain what you're watching?
Go feel the way this grown man got to in a children's playground,
got stuck inside of like a metal children's playground toy.
And now he can't get out.
He might die in there, yeah.
Yeah, that's what I think.
I don't want him to die.
He's a deep concern.
I don't know.
That is not something you wish to anybody.
How are they gonna get him out?
They can't cut the, that's so thick.
They cut, they stop and they cut it
and then put him in jail and just leave him there to try to pay for,
what is it that he did?
He got stuck in a children's playground toy, like an idiot.
Now, when you say it's just a coffee,
just so you know, since you've been here,
this will be number four or five that you're having,
just so you know.
After the three a half at home?
Yeah, and none of these are decaf.
No?
No, we don't have decaf.
No, we don't do that.
What do you mean you don't do that?
It's not the disease.
I do it at my house for you.
I have special decaf pods for you at my house.
Because I have empathy for that, but.
All right.
No, wait a minute.
You know what I just realized?
I never talk about I want to talk.
Oh, shit.
That was pretty good.
I have to throw it and absorb everything you talk to me.
And when I ask you for 10 minutes of my time, I can't.
Well, we covered everything already.
No.
Okay.
Number one, did we talk about the cruise?
Yes, yes, hours ago.
And did I thank you enough?
Well, enough.
I don't think enough.
I don't think people understand the magnitude of the present.
And it's not only God knows how many million dollars
you've spent in doing this, including us
and giving us that love.
Another coffee.
But it's not with alcohol.
Thank you, Heather. No, she's not dosing you
Hey, that's my royal cup. What do you think? That's from the Queen? Oh my god. Yeah, that's from the Jubilee pretty cool
Huh? God save the Queen. I think that's from her platinum Jubilee
Who's that I didn't say that who's that? How did you get that? I
ordered it from Buckingham Palace. It's from England.
No, don't be retarded. And the worst part? Sounds like it's me. No. No. That doesn't sound like you.
So I am losing it. And you're retarded? No, wait a minute.
I might be retarded, but I'm not stupid.
Okay.
So yes.
Both face killers is a poet from the streets.
That's how I like my answers.
I have no both pain, it's tears is accomplished for my foot.
God save the queen.
Yeah.
That's fat and racist.
What is that, Cristina?
Hello, Gavna.
Hello, Gavna.
Why does it sound like my voice?
I don't know.
What's up there, Chomo?
That's my voice, Tommy.
No. You like it?
That there, retard.
That there, retard. Tata, tata there, retard?
Is that my voice?
I don't know.
Maybe it's like somebody who sounds like it.
Well then they have to pay me.
I don't know.
I gotta be retarded.
Can I be retarded?
I don't know.
You can.
Who's that guy upstairs that says I'm concerned?
That's the guy we were just talking about
in the playground.
He's stuck in the playground, remember?
He's stuck in the playground, remember?
You wanted him to die a minute ago,
you were happy that he was dying.
I don't want him to die.
I don't wish death to anybody, make it clear.
Okay, sorry, I misunderstood.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry, I misunderstood.
Okay.
Forgive me, please.
All right, hold on, hold on. No. Okay no okay any you really need to take a shit I know you're black and you guys
do your own thing but you still have to shed because well there's any right
there I don't know any you need to shed thank you I will thanks for the reminder
I appreciate you why did you why would I talk about stuff like that?
I don't, I mean.
You say that, you've said that to me
pretty much every time you came in here.
Who is this?
That's Eni.
That's Eni, me.
Eni, the good looking, the young one?
Yeah, the good looking young one right there.
He's waving at you.
No, the old, ugly one, that's me.
Oh, good looking, good looking.
But, I told you what?
You said you have to take a shit, I know you're black.
What? I mean, isn't that what the thing said
Eddie and you say huh?
Not any yeah, the guy said you have to share
And you can tell me black and you guys do your own thing, but you still have to share
It's like cuz you know how like sometimes sometimes black guys. We don't shit
No, this is not funny.
I'm not taking this as funny.
Okay.
Why is it?
You guys are rude.
I can't believe you make my words to become disgusting.
No way.
Okay, okay.
Did you guys do that on AI?
No, but guess what?
What?
Guess what?
What?
I'm taking you to buy me something.
This is Charo, the real mom at your mom's house. I'm taking you to buy me something
The real mom at your mom's house kick back call your nuts I listen to this real ass new shit
That's not me to me. No, no
They did they put this together with artificial intelligence and they're framing you they're trying to make make you say bad things. That really pisses me off.
Me too. Me too.
And you guys are-
We're gonna get to the bottom of this.
No, the bottom is you don't get a bit.
What are you talking about?
After this we're gonna scold them.
It's dangerous.
I want to talk about three things.
Protect your neck, brother.
No, no, this is serious.
Did, I know I would talk about the cruise.
No, did I thank you enough?
Yes.
Yes.
It made me cry.
I have never, in my wildest dreams ever,
imagined a trip like this.
I'm so glad that we were all able to do it.
I was talking, you know, from picking us up
to taking the most amazing amazing any human being, millionaire
or billionaire, could have.
And I want to talk about the moving here.
The two of you have gone above and beyond, not only in inviting us, you bought a house
that you lend to use us, and it's beautiful and you are fixing everything.
By the way, I need to wash it and dry it and it dry you know the washer and dry
doesn't work I have to say it because it's I don't know I don't know then I
forgot about the garbage that's my fault I'm gonna go pee no wait that's true
I really have to hear I was thinking you told me. I was thanking you, Tommy.
No, I know.
I appreciate what you're saying.
Well, pass it then, then let me thank you.
Okay.
I'm not talking.
I can't hear anything.
Okay, I hear your gratitude and it's a pleasure.
And obviously-
It's a pleasure.
I haven't finished.
You did a pretty good job.
No, Tommy.
You're not going to interrupt me when I'm thanking you.
I think what we'll do is we should probably
get focused on a washer and dryer that work for you.
Oh, thank you, Tommy.
Sure.
We have two weeks of dirty clothes in the house.
I like that I had no idea and then I just find out now.
I don't have washer and dryer.
I don't have a dishwasher.
OK.
The house had a dishwasher. It doesn't work? No, they didn't put a dishwasher. They took it out. Oh, they took a dishwasher. Okay. The house had a dishwasher.
It doesn't work?
No, they didn't put a dishwasher.
They took it out.
Oh, they took it out.
Okay.
So I want to thank the audience for thanking my husband and his wonderful wife for donating
us a washer and dryer and a dishwasher.
However, I want to make sure that I never even talk about the fact about this house.
Tommy and Christina were not knowing what they were getting,
but they saw they were going to be excited to have us here.
And they couldn't do any more than what they did.
So we embarked in this trip with Jane,
we took an RV with the dogs,
and then from there he took us in a cruise that I,
you said I already talked about
yeah we definitely talked about it covered the cruise yeah did I thank you enough yes yes did I
tell any human being who has a dream in life you do they have to pee bad yeah no we're about to
wrap so just stay here okay then okay I did that then I want to talk about the house I know the
house is Tommy's house and Christina's house sure but. But of course it's true, you don't need to say it like that.
Oh, sorry.
That was sound like, don't remember.
Don't forget that it's my house.
I didn't say it like that.
No, you said it's true.
It is true though.
We do own it, we're the signers.
I don't pay any pennies, so yes, you're right.
That's what I wanted to say.
No, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
I want to grab, No, I want to grab grace.
Because it's a record.
This word, I left a little house
and for you to come here and basically a mansion
that they have to get used to make orders of because so far
I cannot tell you anything.
But you were so, so, so incredible,
not only generous in buying the house and fixing anything that is not working,
which told me just grant us a washer and dryer
and the dishwasher.
Did?
He did.
You told me this.
I did.
I'm thrilled to be able to do it.
He's the most generous human being I know.
The most.
No, no, you guys laugh whatever the word you use.
Women are stupid.
Excuse me.
Tanner.
Who did that?
You run this show.
This is absolutely unacceptable.
And when your mother talks.
That is unacceptable.
We're going to meet in the conference room right after this.
Yeah, he's done.
That's unbelievable. So this has been such a wild treat,
the most unhinged and hectic episode
in the 15 years that we've been doing this podcast.
The time is up, the crew has to go home.
The crew has to go home, they have to do ads.
But this has been such a remarkably interesting and-
I have to say this.
I forgot to tell you, where did you get those mattresses?
Do you like your mattress?
I like the mattress.
I want to know if they have a box frame
and then I complete my dream.
I'm sure, I'm sure.
Yes, you sponsor.
So can I get it?
Publicly please.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, it's not the yes or no yet.
Can you?
Stop, Rod.
Yes it is.
Hannah.
Please.
I don't know what you're asking me.
I forgot.
I don't know either.
A back spring.
But thank you guys for watching.
A back spring.
A back spring.
Thank you for listening.
From the same company.
I got a matter, tell me the name.
And we will see you next week.
This has been the most fun episode.
We thank Charles for coming in.
We thank all of you for of course sending in
the hello, Kapna, happy birthday videos
and of course for encouraging the OnlyFans
which will be hitting the worldwide web quite soon.
I wanna thank of course my lovely cohost Christine
for always being here with me.
Thank you, Tim.
Our soon very reduced staff for all their misbehavior.
They're all getting fired after today.
Yeah, people are getting fired after this.
For what?
Well, yeah.
And of course,
Tommy, wait a minute.
The great Charlo for joining us.
Thank you, Charlo.
And our closing song is gonna play right now.
We love you guys.
We'll see you soon.
You're fighting people for real?
Yeah.
Because you were so unhappy. Why am I unhappy happy? What do you hate them? Hey, why are you guys not hearing?
Yeah music. It's a closing song
Hope it on morning night breaks. I wake with the
Show the song the show the sunshine or favor
So, it's a song you. I'm listening. I let one loose while tying my shoe.
In the elevator, there's no one else who knew.
Silent but dabbling, he follows me.
A quiet ghost of my gassy glee
Makes me feel so
People may laugh they may frown but I won't let that get any dumb
You need to fight fine some cheer
He's crystal clear
Dino is beans and now I see
My own bouquet just flattering me
A little blessed a private delight
A private delight Makes my whole day feel alright Thanks for watching!