Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Torturing Tom's Mom w/ Charo | Your Mom's House Ep.691

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Tom Segura and Christina P are joined by Tom’s mom, Charo, this week! They discuss their recent trip to Hawaii, their feelings about Tom’s beard trim, and Charo’s famous fart! Tim and Christine also debate who burped first on a recent episode. Charo and The Main Mommies also get into a heated debate about a necklace that was gifted to Charo, and bring Tom’s sister, Jane, to settle it. They watch a cool puke clip, some Horrible or Hilarious videos, an update from their favorite drunk cool guy, and much more! https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

Portland, I've added another show. That's right, March 31st. I'll be doing two shows. First one sold out. So get your tickets right now, right now, right now. Christina P online dot com. How can you call these girls? Disgusting.

Yeah. Oh, the bed is burping or farting. You burped first. No, my eyes are my. Am I on another planet? You burped twice before I burped. I can let the doll saying I lost. Yeah, because she did.

And you call her a pathetic liar. Yeah, because she is. You are a pathetic piece of shit. Wow. Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. And welcome to another episode of your mom's house. We have a really special treat today, a very special guest. You know her, perhaps as

Senoratetas or the Internet's fart mistress. It's my mom, Charo. I am so touched and honored with the welcome. Yeah, Senoratetas and Mrs. Fart. Fart mistress. A fart mistress. You know what we get the most complaints about? No more farts.

That's exactly right. I have burps now. Well, that would be nice if you shared those people have been for years going, how are you going to introduce yourself to the world this way and then go, oh, I'm done. I'm done. Basically, I'm being honored for having all the lower part

of my body being exposed with noises. Well, not just that. You are possibly the most watched fart on the Internet. And maybe the most famous fatter in the world. Is that supposed to be an honor for me? Well, I mean. Because that's embarrassing. Well, to be the best at something.

I didn't come here to be in a stage to tell me that I'm famous. That's what it took me when I have you, by the way, a big fart and you pop out. Really? Yes. Wow. I didn't know that.

Maybe that's why we're so connected. Yes. Do you want no mention of the fart like on your tombstone? Because people do the. Can we talk about other stuff? Well, it's just people talk. It's like the only thing people care is about if I fart or I don't fart.

People say things on the great mother, great wife. I am a great fart. The greatest fatter. World's greatest fatter. The most viewed millions. I mean, millions and millions of people. Well, maybe. You know what?

This is very humiliating. I got something. I can't believe I came in a stage. I got a good idea. You're going to like this one. It's about you, right? No. Oh, we'll tell that story, too.

OK. That sounds a lot better than the fart. Let me just say this. That's a word that doesn't have me. Do you accept this? Here's the tombstone. Do I accept what? Rosario La Sarte Segura, born September 25th.

You don't have to say that year. OK, 1903. And then you look great for that age. Did you mention that you were born in 1937? I did not mention that. OK. Beloved mother, wife, dedicated, Catholic woman, and grandmother, right?

Yeah. And then underneath, here's what it says. The queen of fart. No. No. It says 9.72. And that's it. What does that mean?

That's the length of that fart. That's how long it lasts, 9.72 seconds. So only the people that know know what it's about. That's so amazing. What an achievement. Can we talk about something? I have spent already 15 minutes about talking of a fart of 10 years ago.

I have other things to talk. But it's a big accomplishment in the world. This accomplishment has been rewarded many times with max of coffee, with t-shirts, blankets, pullovers, being known by the world for the people that I am most embarrassed to ever meet. Oh, I saw you in a podcast. And I am like, oh, really?

Yeah. I didn't know you have that kind of fart. So I go to play bridge. And if somebody fart in that club, it's 800 people. They all look at me. Can I make one observation about, not about you, but just about farts in general? And then we'll get, we'll move on.

We'll get this one. Do you agree that the way to extend a fart is by actually trying to suppress it? So if you know you have to fart. Tommy, I am not going to answer that stupid topic. It's a real thing. No, it kind of is. If you go like, I don't want anyone to hear this.

I'm going to change from chamomile to wine if you keep talking about my farts. If you go, I don't want anyone to hear this. And you squeeze. I don't. Come on. So that it's not loud. Please don't.

Don't you feel like they last longer? You fart better than anybody. Can you just tell me the answer? I can tell you, you're very grotesque. I can tell you that. But Tom, I'm not going to talk about the fart. Let's just kill me. I'm helping.

Tom, if you've squeezed too hard, then you might ruin the fart altogether and make it go back up. That's true. And that's my concern. Oh, my God. You got to play with the hole. You got to kind of go like, like, you got to tweak it. You know what you pull the balloon?

No, I just let it go. You just let it go. You have a man. It's air. And the burps you had yesterday. Oh, my gosh. That is something that nobody will believe unless they see it.

That was really gross. I thought you were going to vomit at the table. Will you bless the audience with one of those today? If it comes, they will be scared to death because the farts become history. The burps were, I have never heard. You sound like a truck driver. I thought I was going to die.

Let's talk about that in a minute. All right, here's the opening clip. And we'll do the opening clip. So you just watch the clip, then the theme song plays, OK? OK, you have to look at the screen for the video, OK? Yeah, here we go. You can look at this screen.

Yeah, OK. Yeah, here we go. Boy, let me see what happens to me. One of my friends' house and we had a party. We don't get around here on certain days when we can get everybody together. Do I look like that guy? Well, we all live in it up.

I'm good old time. There's something weird over there. See, we need to have a contest, a staring contest, a staring contest. What the heck are you talking about? You know everybody's together. They ain't been doing nothing. OK, I don't have a clue.

Don't bring anyone loving them, is it? Don't burn me in the fucking stand. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Tom Segura. And Christina Pajitse, Christina Pajitse. Welcome to your mom's house. Now translate this guy.

The theme song is still playing. You have to listen to the music, feel it. Do I think of this, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Feel it. Ugh. Pretty classy show. Honored to be here.

This is the house of Farnsville, lady. Mayhem. So. What did he say, be cut? I think so. Mayhem. So, I guess he went over to someone's place and they had a staring contest with him.

I don't know. The guy? Yeah, I think that's what he was talking about. Mayhem. So, OK, we're going to do this. Who all wants to go? They had a runoff, you know. And I got in the bottle.

Yeah. I'm paying for that. I can not stare at anybody. Oh. Because I've been known to pay for mine. I can't stare at anybody. I can't stare at anybody. Stare.

Well. Mayhem. So, I said, all right, I'm going to get ready to start. He said, hold on a minute. Here come out this girl. She's standing there. She had, like, a long trench coat on something. Oh, I have a clue what he's talking about.

He said, ready? I said, yeah. Begin. Pull her open. Open her coat up. I said, you think that's going to distract me? No, you're crazy. OK.

Time test was over 10 minutes later. Sure was. Can somebody loan me $980? With it? Was it my funny 90 dollars? Yeah. With it? He does have really nice hair, though.

He does. I think he drinks. You think? I think so. Or drugs, or both. Could be both. They're like, I don't have anyone who drinks my beer. And I got there.

And they got the hell out of this. Wait. Tell me this. What do you think he was talking about? That he was in the contest and he got third. And somebody had him 90 dollars. Yeah. Yeah.

You don't do that? I don't think so. I never had no food. OK. And they have no food. I never had no food. Yeah. We have.

We have. What else? Talk. Sure. Eja. Eja. So he's saying anyhow. Anyhow.

Anyhow. Anyhow. Anyhow. I think he's got holes in his brain. Eja. Little ones. Yeah. I think I have holes in my brain, too.

We've been drinking every day since December 20th. He wakes up drinking. Oh, yeah. Do you like morning drinking? No. Some people wake up and drink. That's crazy. I know.

But do you ever think about trying to drink in the. I have done it here. Yeah. You got hammered. Thanks to you. Yeah. I think your pride is humiliating me. No.

No. To put me drunk in a show and present your mother like that at 10 o'clock in the morning. Even. Sorry. Here's how much I protect you. Yeah. How much? I had an episode that you appeared on removed.

We never released it. I appreciate it. No one ever saw it. Well, you did. Yeah. But no one else did. And nobody in the back either. Well, I mean, the guys that helped me record it, but nobody saw it.

It wasn't released. Well, that would be, I mean, that wouldn't be talking good about you to that. Something like that to your mind and put it in public. Yeah. Can be completely drunk. And I don't know what is the rest. I did not. First of all, I wasn't even in the same state as you when we did that one.

So why was I drunk? Because you wanted to have a glass of wine and you get drunk easily. Should I have a glass of wine now? If you want to. I don't know. It's up to you. A little glass of wine with a little bit of ice. Okay.

More ice. More ice. Okay. Ice in the wine. You got it. So. Okay. Can we talk about the trip to Hawaii?

Sure. Well, we should first say that we have been spending a lot of time together. You came out here for Christmas. And you're stuck with me. And New Year's. And you're counting the minutes for me to live. And don't worry. Tomorrow is the last day.

No. Tomorrow I'm leaving. Tomorrow is the last day. Yeah. You look very happy. I. Tears are coming down to your eyes. And tomorrow you're leaving.

We will mourn the fact that you're leaving. But. I know. You came out and it was a great Christmas. It was amazing. And we're very fortunate that. It was amazing. I want to talk about that.

Thank you so much. We're very happy. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you so much. We're very fortunate in that we were able. We're in a position. To be able to take like a family trip to Hawaii. Wait. I want to talk about that. Okay.

We'll talk about it. I'm just making the point that I feel very grateful that. That I'm able to do something like that. And. I don't want to cry. Don't cry. Because it's very touching. Well.

It was nice to have like a bunch of white people together. You know. You were able. You cannot take. You cannot even drop a tear without him screwing up the whole thing. It's in your. I mean. You were born with that in your.

Well. Nothing comes that it can be just touching and I'm about to cry and you have to come with something stupid. Well no. I just I met that like there was a couple moments where I was like this is what I've always wanted. You know. Like even on the plane I remember one of the flight attendants.

I didn't realize that she was just tan. But I was like do you think you could switch with the other lady to take care of us. It would make us more comfortable. And she was like what did I do wrong. And then I was like oh are you. Were you in Hawaii. She was like yeah. I just have a tan.

I was like okay. And then she took care of us again. But it was just you know it was like one of those moments that that. He's mentally sick. And he's proud. Of that. The only way I can put it. I was I was trying to have.

Like a kind of like a blood reunion. You know. Yeah. Okay. Now can I talk. And this is not funny. What's not funny. The invitation that you gave us.

Is not funny. No it's not funny what I'm going to say because you talk no sense. You go to the far to the color to the lady to. I want to say something that is no funny. Okay. If I'm allowed. Okay my Aryan sister take over. Well.

The. The. Grade of generosity. And love. That you provide us. That. Matches with Christina because nothing would have happened. Without Christina.

Saying yes to everything with love. More so. It probably was her idea not yours because you only talk about farts. And Christina talk about love. So if I put it all together. But anyway. We have from a driver picking us up. To a greeted receiving us at the airport in Miami.

To somebody basically place me in the plane through a wheelchair. Arriving Austin. Can we stop for a second. Yeah. Is the wheelchair because you're crippled. Why are you in a wheelchair. Because the airport in Miami is so long that they like three miles. Three miles is equivalent of 35 minutes walking for me.

I wouldn't miss the flight. Oh. Okay. Got you. So then you get to Austin. Somebody picks you up there. As soon as I get out. Somebody is waiting for me.

As I get out of the gate. Take me to a fancy car. Brought me to your house. And then all of a sudden I hear your voice saying hi here here. And I found a 20 year old kid. With your voice. It was the shock of my life. We've seen that.

I honestly for hours I was like this. What. What she's referring to. Is the fact that for the first time in 15 years I shaved. Completely. Now first I did a mustache for a full day. Thank God I didn't see that. And you didn't see that.

Thank the dude. Look at there at the screen. That was the first time. That's horrendous. I liked it. I want him to do this again. Because what I like is that you get to see his lips on his face. For the first time in 15 years.

He played the loser in some crime show. Everybody knows he's innocent because he's incapable. But he kind of looks like the guy from our opening clip too. Which I like. Hey man. Yeah he does look like a guy. Hey man. Actually.

I got two legs. Actually. Yeah. He could be your dad. But thank God. Yeah. There is no connection in here. With that Tommy that's horrendous.

You like that? I went out like this. I went to the gym like this. I went to. And here's the thing. You forget what this has happened to me before. When you have had like a beard for a long time. Yeah.

There's moment there's you know. First you see yourself in the mirror and you're like holy shit. And then you just get on with your day and you forget. Until you all of it. And until you catch mirrors. Or you run into somebody who you know. Like I went to my flight class. Like this.

And like I went just like that. And the guy who has been instructing me goes hi I don't think we've met before. What? Yeah. And I go it's me. Are you serious? He was like oh sorry man. Like it was that dramatic.

This is a guy that like I've been you know spending time with. And he was like huh. People thought I was a cop. You know what Chris. Chris Rogers gave you full gay energy. Yeah. He gave you rainbow flags. Gamer.

Well look at my caption though. My caption is Merry Christmas Gays. Oh. And Cholo Fit Creeper was fair to me. Broccia. Hey. You have pictures with no master she did. Well yeah yeah.

So that was I did this for about 36 hours. And then I posted it on Christmas but it was a few days before. And then I did grab some completely I have not seen my face in like 15 years. Sweet dick duster man. Yeah. Felix Chasky. Yeah. Well that's us in Hawaii.

That's after a couple days of growth. Oh. That's me pretty much clean shaven yeah. Wow. Look at that face. You look 20 years younger. I would have noticed you. It's crazy.

Well yeah that was the best. That's how good it is. Somebody asked for my phone number and I was like do you know who you're fucking talking to. This face this is the face I married. I haven't seen this since 2008. I can't recognize him. It's gorgeous.

Look at his face. You keep looking and I say what was this. But isn't it crazy how the beard just ages you. It does age you because it's so high and old. You look like an old dog with beard. Like an old piece of shit. Yeah. That was after like a couple days of growth.

That's cute. I like that. I like that. You look very rugged and handsome. Rugged and handsome. Look at that pun. Aw. Even almost as my link.

Oh yeah. And you know what I realized too with Tommy when he didn't have a beard. I've just thought that for the last 15 years. This was a funny one. This was true. This is very true. That he just didn't have many range of emotions. It's not true.

He actually is expressive but you can't see it under the beard. I'm serious. This is absolutely true. He literally like the first day or two I was like whoa easy. She was like where's all this emotion coming from. I was like what. It's always been there. She goes I didn't realize.

Like just him smiling or laughing at chuckling at something. And I was like whoa. He's so true. Do you want him to have the beard again? No. I mean I want to see his. I want him to see his face. Well here's the cool thing.

Here's the cool. What in the world is that? I think it's my mom. Well. Pregnant. No. We got into bingo around the house. Play bingo.

Heavy bingo. And Charo remember you won bingo. I did. This was your prize for bingo. And you won the pride of America bandana that you put on your head. I got you my camera through the fence you faggot. You put that on your head. That was on your head remember?

Yeah. You were so hammered. Yeah. You wanted bingo. I wasn't hammered. You hammered me every second. So ripped. According to you guys I work up a hammer.

I never drink. By the way. Here is when the cool thing though is that since I saw my mother from the day that I was shaved with a clean shaven face until today which is this level of growth every day she's like are you going to keep that disgusting thing on your face? This is true. You're going to grow back that grotesque beard. That's true.

I mean it's not that crazy right? Well next to what I saw the day I arrived it was like I went back 30 years in my life. Yeah. And I saw my kid. So sweet. I was like fascinated with what I saw. You know who I trust here? The booth boys.

Yeah. That's true. They always tell us the truth. Yeah. Tell me the truth guys. Should I shave my face? You better tell the truth. No.

No. This is what she does. No. This is what she does. No. This is what she does. No. I'm talking.

No. I'm talking. I've been dealing with this shit my whole life. Some respect. Give me. Give me your honest answer. Don't let her do the thing like a video on my side. No.

No. You can't influence the judges. Yes. You always do. Don't talk. I don't care. I want to talk. Don't talk.

I have the right to talk. Don't talk. I am in the show. No. I am in the show. I'm talking. If I'm asking you guys is to be honest. Don't try to get it.

Raising the salary by saying no. You look better with the beard. Raising the salary. They always give us the honest answer. That's what we do. The honest answer is always what they do. No. It's not.

That's not true. These guys we trust them because they don't do that. They tell you the truth. They tell us the truth. I want to hear one by one. We run things by them all the time. All the time. They give us their opinion on this.

They give us their opinion. Sometimes they disagree. Sometimes there's huge disagreements within the booth. It's an honest place. I am convinced that I'm going to win in this one. That's fine. You're already influencing them by saying that. No.

But you are. You are. You're trying to put. Be quiet. Let them talk. You're telling me. God damn it. You want to drink?

Yeah. If I wasn't hungover I'd drink more. Hangover from what? We were trying to do the booth. From Bingo. Bingo last night. That was crazy. It was crazy Bingo.

Totally honest. You don't offend me. You don't hurt my feelings with whatever way you lean. I'm just asking other guys who are dudes, who are bros. Do I go clean shaven or what I have as far as facial hair? I think in the past you've had super thick. Huge beers. Huge beers.

Yeah. And I think you going completely shaven is almost a little jarring. People don't recognize you as that. I think personally what I'd like to see is something closer to this where you're splitting the difference. Where it's not super thick on, but we still see some facial hair. Okay. It's a very thoughtful analysis.

It's a fair. And you don't have to agree with him in the booth. I just want to know what other people think. So go ahead. Any if you don't mind. I've always liked it with your beard. I feel like some people, I don't know how to explain this. I like him more with the beard.

Okay. I like him more with the beard. Okay. Fair enough. Chad? I kind of like the stubble. The stubble. Yeah.

Like the two-day, three-day growth kind of thing. Yeah. I think it had a very stark look to it. Okay. See? Two-day stubble so far. And finally, baby adorable sweet Zolo. I'm team stubble too.

Stubble. Wow. It definitely makes you look more youthful. Okay. Team stubble. I can't believe it. Wow. Can't believe the Jays split their fucking vote.

I like stubbles too. So it's stubble one. I think so. You know why? Because I can still see your. No, it's not. Two stubble guys. Chad?

Oh, you're stubble. Okay. And I stubble. Okay. Then stubble wins. Stubble has two days. Yeah. Couple days of growth.

Yeah. Like this level is cool. It does take away your expression and it hinders your relationships. Yeah. Because I honestly, I swear to God for 15 years. You're having sex with your father. No. That's not what I said.

That's what it looks. But no. You look gorgeous standing with an older man coming in your house. I just meant that like I can see his face now and read his emotion better. Whereas before I thought it was me because I'm like, maybe Tom just doesn't feel stuff. Maybe it's my fault. I mean, I'm bad. It is your fault.

And now I see he's got feelings and stuff. It's really improved our marriage in the last 10 days or so. Wow. Wow. It's made me, it's actually made me more like, like, yeah. Is this really my husband? Yeah. Is he happy?

Is he upset? Yeah. Are you mad at me? Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. We actually have a deeper relationship because of the lack of the beard. But speaking of our relationship, there is something I'd like to bring up with you.

Sure. That has been. Yeah. Oh, perfect. Perfect segue. Last episode, we had a debate as to who could go the longest without burping or farting because Tom accused me of constantly farting, constantly burping, blah, blah, blah. And so we made, we did a handshake deal.

A handshake deal. Whoever could go the longest through the episode without burping or farting is the champion, the winner. Right. Now I lost. Apparently I ripped a burp in the middle of. Not apparently. You know you did.

Apparently I lost because I just let one. Why is it apparently? Because of your honor. Okay. Some evidence has come to light. Thank you to our fantastically observant YMH audience. This is getting several DMs, several DMs saying that I, in fact, won the challenge because at the 59 minute mark, you burped and then suppressed the burp.

You looked over and say, does Christina notice that I did? Oh. And he suppressed the burp. He suppressed the evidence, your honor. Well, watch your start. It's not suppressing. It's not. First of all, let me point out how stupid this is.

So if you. How dare you? If you suppress a burp, you're actually doing the polite thing. In other words, if I go. The burp already. Everybody knows you're burping. No, they don't. That's the whole point.

If the audience noticed, he burped in his mouth is what I'm saying. And he went. Yeah. Okay. Give me, you just did a grotesque version of it, but if you happen to go. That's suppressing a burp. That's not. This is suppressing a burp.

You want me to burp and suppress it? No, I'm. Why? But she looks like she's going to vomit every time she burps. No, she goes. Last night when you're burping, you went every single time. Okay. Like you lean, you lurch forward.

Like you're going to vomit. Take a sip of the soda. I hate it. Take a sip of the soda. I'm going to throw up. I feel sick watching her burp. Take a sip of that. Are you vomiting or burping?

I'm drinking chamomile soda, and I haven't tried it once yet. Why are you holding out on the wine? I want to talk about Hawaii. Oh my God. I have evidence, Your Honor. So to go along with my, Tom, with my claim, let's watch the actual footage. Okay, I'm going to play the footage, but I wouldn't. That was suppressing.

It really was suppressing. That was a crazy big. Do it again. That was so good. Damn, dude. That was actually super cool. You guys are the most grotesque people I have ever met in my life. That was so good.

Oh, shit. She's going for it. This is going to be good. Everybody shut the fuck up. Oh, she stayed. Yeah, I wanted to hear one of those, like, real. How was yesterday? It was disgusting.

It was so bad yesterday that Tommy asked me when I was about to die, he says, do you think I should take you to a doctor tomorrow? That's how bad it was. He said, and every time I burp, he goes, ah, never, mama, I'm worried for you. Are you dying? Are you capable of breathing? But why would you die from belching? That wouldn't kill you.

The whole entire day, I didn't have a bite or a sip of anything. Yeah, but that's normal for you. You eat like a piece of, you eat a starburst and then go to sleep. No, but you know what I ate last night? What? You left some, they beat the words they called jelly beans. Jelly beans. This is so embarrassing.

This is a free sample of yesterday that is coming without intention. You know, it's crazy. I saw your throat move. I saw. I didn't know it was coming. It was like, did you see it vibrate? Yeah. That was wild.

I've never seen a big burp like that from her. This is nothing. This is really nothing. I want to talk about her words. Hold on. We have to watch my footage. I just want to say something because I haven't seen it yet. Okay.

And I am putting this out there and I believe that a reputable judge would agree with me on this. If you're trying, because we were saying like whoever burps first loses. If you're trying to say that something comes up and the person goes to suppress that you're not burping. You kept the burp in. That is not the same as going, like that's a different thing. This is cause and effect argument, Your Honor.

The air came out. Once the air comes out, it is called a burp. This is just a semantic escape. It's not a semantic escape. Your attempt to hide the evidence, which is the bullet came out of the gun. Does it matter? The bullet may have ricocheted off the wall, but the bullet came out of the chat. The whole point is that you're being a pig by opening your mouth and you're being polite

by keeping your mouth closed. There's no such thing as almost pregnant. Can we talk about Hawaii, please? No. No. Are we going to go from burp to fart to burp to fart? Are people really feeling like a mouth closed? I have a present for everybody coming up.

Everybody shut the fuck up. Shut up. Everybody shut the fuck up. Charles, get up. No. No. Yes, I want to come out. I'm sorry, I didn't have a burp.

Let's look at the clip. Let's look at the clip. I want to talk about Hawaii. Burp is not happening yet. We're not there yet. We need to debate. No, it's not. No, we've got plenty of time.

But if one of these, one day I just start going, I don't want to hear your farts anymore or your burps, babe. Okay. And you had to seal it up. You had to just hide it all. Okay. Which makes you feel so sad. No.

Oh, stop. That's a huge part of your identity. It is not a part of my identity. Burping and farting? It is. That's all you do. I think you're projecting. I would like you to go 24 hours just to see if you can without burping or farting in front

of me. The fact that you're this delusional is terrifying. What? Because you are a 24-hour, 365-day-a-year sound effect machine of burping. It's all you do. Let's see who can go the longest without burping. I'd love to do this. Okay.

So it's on? It's on. Okay. And what is the prize or punishment for this? You have to give me cuddles and head scratchies for an entire hour. You won't hear me fart for the rest of my life. This camera angle looks terrible, but I look like I'm 86 years old. So that was the bet.

Everybody knows what the setup is. Okay? Okay. All right. Let's see what happened. I haven't seen any of this. This is a clip that says CP Surprise. Oh, no.

What do you mean? Well. And what's the time? That's before I ripped one out loud. That time cut was at 50 minutes and 25 seconds. Dude. Brohem. So hold on.

Hold on. Your honor. So that I didn't let it out. That's the polite way to handle it. The bullet left the gun. Step out. Step out. No, he went.

But if you're trying to surprise him, you just kind of go. Okay. The surprise is nobody knows. It's like when you fart, nobody knows. Nailed it. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. The audience knows.

You don't surprise like. Yeah. That's not a surprise. That's not surprising. Well, this is, this is considered, this is wait. This is considered me. Birping again.

Hold on. Hold on. No, here's the thing, I'm not only not giving up that you I'm actually going to, I think you deserve a punishment for putting this together. Okay. Look. You'll watch.

Became obsessive action. But the argument hold on. The bet is who can go the longest without birping or farting. Which I didn't. You burped. I didn't burp. Wait, wait. Hold on, your honor.

Listen to my argument. I didn't burp. It's not. It's not. The bet was who can go the longest without birping or farting. Not who can go the longest with suppressing one's burps or farts. The fact of the matter is, your honor, you burped twice before I belched. I disagree.

The art. I think right now what you're doing. What you're doing. Logically, the bet is, the bet is who can go the longest without burping or farting. Not suppressing the burp, your honor. Okay, what is the burp? God damn it. Exactly.

You know why? These are theatrics and she is actually a professional liar. She is lying because she feels guilty about what she did. What she did was actually. I take care of my body. But I admit it to it. I admit it to it. Because look at this.

No, look at this. Look at this. I admit it. Look at this. I take care of my body. I mean. I lost the bet. Aw.

She's gross. But I admit it to it. How can she be gross? How can she be gross? Disgusting. Bad. Aw. Yes.

The bet is burping or farting. You burped first. I'm surprised. No. My eyes are... Am I on another planet? It's important. You burped twice before I burped.

She did it. Like a little doll saying, I lost. Yeah, because she did. And you called her a pathetic liar. Yeah, because she is. You are a pathetic piece of shit. Wow. You deserve a new handbag.

New handbag. New handbag. Today after the show. Not even a chance. We'll mail it to you. Not even a chance. It really never happened. You have mailed me so many things and they don't come.

What? Yeah. That's weird. Okay. Well, I want to say... So the handbag is not going to happen? No. I want to say this is complete bullshit.

How about the two me little thing? The two me little thing. Okay. Let's go to the booth, boys. The bet. Wait a minute. But I'm talking. Can we get the two me?

You became obsessed with boxing. No. He burped. I didn't. The bet is... Nobody listened. Remember, who can go the longest without burping or farting? I didn't.

You burped twice. No, you burped first and you lost. I did not burp first. You did. I burped after you did these two burps. These aren't two burps. You're making this up. What is that called?

What is it called? It's called not a burp. Haha. Not a burp. In this case... We're going to get down to defining terms on what a burp is. It is air released from the throat, regardless of whether or not it is suppressed. That is a burp.

That's my vote count. I hate to tell you. Your majesty is right. That is not a burp. No. Oh my God. You just lost yourself a handbag. No.

How can I win a handbag and lose it? Okay, both boys. And then we're going to go to the audience. And I want everybody to hear that she says it's coming in the mail. This is bullshit. I will come back to let you know two years later if he came back. So, I will say, Christina, when you sent us this stuff to prep, immediately I responded back saying, oh, this is going to be a huge controversy.

There's conspiracy theories that are going to be formed around this. When I saw those clips, in my mind, Tom did not burp. You guys are fucking retarded. He sighed. You're fired. It's true. You're fired. Everybody's fired but you're not alone now.

It was an air escape. Okay, Chad, let's define a burp. If you define a burp, a burp is air coming up from the throat. A fart is air coming out of one's anus. So, I could see if he had blown the air out. Oh my God. Kind of suppress it and then did a little that. Your logic with the gun coming out or the bullet coming out of the gun.

A noise. It doesn't hold. Why? A noise made by air. The noise comes to the. That's right. Now, if we're going to say noise. Wait.

The noise is in the definition. Okay. In the definition. That's how you're going to define it. I'm not defining it. That is the actual definition. Can the conversation change from farts to burps? To burps.

It's a serious discussion. Okay, can we talk about something? Is anyone on my side in that booth? Oh, come on. I want to talk about Hawaii now. I have to have my chance. Yeah, we talk about farts and burps and all. We have defined that he didn't burp a new fart.

You know what? I've got a lot of support on my side. You guys keep telling Tom that he's wrong. Okay? Yeah. Tom, you're right. This is burp gate. Okay.

I want to talk about Hawaii. Burp gate is in full effect. Burp gate. Okay. The booth is split. Why did I come in the show if I can talk? Thank you. Josh Zolo, are you on my side?

Annie, are you on my side? No. Burp gate, full effect. The booth is split, bitches. Cheers. You lost yourself a handbag. I already lost myself a chance to talk. Okay, but there was sound.

If it was acknowledged by the audience. Wait, what is he saying? Acknowledged as a burp. The first one's definitely a suppressed burp. The second one's questionable. Wow. But there was no sound, so that's an argument. I would agree.

I feel like a burp has, like, multiple stages, and I feel like once it gets past the throat, that's when it kind of sounds like an actual burp. Look at this stupid conversation. Can you please let him finish? This is actually important. Important? Yeah.

This is a big deal. Okay, the air comes out from the mouth. No, we need a lawyer to argue with me. It's a burp. If it's suppressed, I'm going to hire a lawyer. I'm going to hire a lawyer because... It's not a burp. I'm hiring attorneys.

Can we talk about Hawaii, please? The argument is, right, who burped? You burped. Who could go the longest, okay? And if there was noise, which there was, the audience picked up on it. They didn't pick up on the noise. The audience...

They didn't pick up on the noise. You can't make that... You can't spin that. They picked up on the facial... You're ashamed of your tense lies and this argument. Shut up! I'm doing exercises until I get my chance. The booth is split.

America is divided yet again on Burpgate. We'll revisit it. The Bag of Bones wants to talk about it. Can Charo be invited to the show? Hawaii. Yeah. What are you going to talk about? What about Hawaii?

Oh, my gosh. What about Hawaii? It was the trip of my life. It was the love undescribable. Tommy Trita's first class laying like in a bed, flying to Hawaii. And you also noted when I napped in my bed, that I napped very low.

You said, oh, my God, you napped. You were on the floor. I was on the floor, guys. So I even napped incorrectly. Her head was under Tommy's butt. She's a gift. You have a gift? Yeah, you were laying in your bed

and her head was under your butt. I don't know if inspired her with the air that comes from there. What was it? She passed out. Extremely comfortable. Why do you nap like that? I don't know. I also don't eat eggs properly, too.

How does she eat eggs? How does she eat eggs? Remember when I was at your house? You ate eggs? No, remember when I was at your house last time and you saw me eating a sunny-side-up egg? How did I eat that egg? Do you recall?

It was like the first five minutes we saw each other. I like to eat just the yolk. How do you feel about that? It's really cooked. Yeah. I just liked the orange bit. I don't like the white. I like the white, but I don't...

That's OK if you like the yellow. Oh, my God. What is wrong with you? You did not like the way that I disregarded the whites of the eggs. Well, that is wrong because the white has the protein. That is very true. That's not true. The baby chicken grows in the yolk, therefore it is very helpful.

You have too much knowledge, but the protein is in the white. I'm not going to go to history. I still haven't talked about Hawaii. Oh, OK, let's talk about Hawaii. But let me talk about Hawaii a little bit. OK. Because it was a dream trip. OK.

My room was so good that I didn't want to leave my room. It was sweet to die for. For one night will be a dream. I have it for a week of accelerating. I can't even describe the words honestly. The breakfast, I had it in bed because it's stupid to get up and have a buffet when I can have the same thing in my room. You guys were dumb, so you got up every morning and tell me how great was the buffet.

I told you how great was my buffet in my bed. So you choose. I didn't have a swimming suit, so Christina bought me a covered up. And I have a little brother that pretend to be a bikini. And then your panties would fall off. And then. That was cool. I had a double book.

The real one here. And they want the cover up, so we put a thing and I folded this and it looked very sexy. I don't know if you can see it. Then I have to get to these points that is coming up. Oh. Dinners, I have never read like that in my life for real. Yeah, they were great dinners. Everything was a five star quality every single day.

Well, you ordered the lobster. The lobster. Thermador or whatever. And it was like a ten minute. Lobster pot pie, that is a show. It was a ten minute presentation. A chef who I think he made it. Cut it out.

They made the whole show. They opened it up. He took the whole lobster out. He peeled it out. He put it back in top of the pot pie and then put the shell like it's still alive. No. I mean, what in the world are you going to have something like that? Pretty incredible.

It was great. Well, to complete the show, the last day I went to the beach. I saw my son having fun in the ocean with one of his friends. And I wave at him. Yeah. And he came just to greet me. And all surprised. I had a brilliant idea in that moment.

You did have a brilliant idea. Tell us how it went happened. I said, I hold on. Where is my ear? Where is my ear? There it goes. I found it. And now the other one fell.

Find it? But I lost the other one. Would one ear do it? No, you want both. This is the best part. I'm getting older. I'm 108 years old. She is not with me.

Thank you so much. Let's see how long it lasts. Okay. So I wave at Tommy. He came very graciously to hi. Hey, nice to see you. He haven't seen me all day. Yeah.

And I said, Tommy, I have an idea. Yeah. He just popped out of my head, which, by the way, I would finish what he told me this morning. He gave me a long speech. So the whole gift went away with the speech that he gave me. Yeah. Yeah.

That sounds accurate. How would you like? Well, Jane was there. Yep. No, it sounds, I know Jane was there. I have witnesses. Oh, I think we both do. Well, may I finish your honor?

Sure. Your make-believe version of where this, like, I can't wait to hear it. I always talk like this, so people have to believe him. Okay. I told the truth, nothing but the truth. Uh-huh. So help me God.

Excuse me, before you even get to that, when we were done speaking this morning, you told me, I think you're right. And I said... I don't recall that. I don't recall that. I think you're right. You told me you thought I was right.

And that the truth... In what part? You talked for an hour. Okay. You asked me my opinion, and when I gave it to you, you said, I think you're right, and the truth hurts. That's what you told me after you asked me to analyze. Okay, then if it hurts, don't make it public.

I'm going to go pee while you guys fight. But then you're the one who's... You can't have it both ways. You can't be like, I want... You gave me a speech. You asked me to... I didn't ask you for any speech. You asked me...

You think I want to be so dumb? I said, Tommy, please give me a speech. I didn't give you a speech. I asked you what you think this is all about. And then I told you, you told me, what do you think? No, before I said, I am going to talk. If you allow me... You are absolutely full of shit.

Okay, go ahead. Yeah, that shit went to you and you were born. Okay. Okay. So now, proceed with my idea. This is such bullshit. I asked you, how would you like to buy me a little necklace? And you said, what are we talking about?

I said, well, I saw a necklace that I really like. How much is it? So I went like this. You got 3,000, which is less than one of the dinners that you bought, by the way. No, it is not. So you sent Zheng to supervise my buy and my taste. You're doing the abbreviated version. Where do you want me to make it long and show us forever?

Okay, go ahead. You end up approving. You asked me to ask your friends the approval and the amount. And we went through the whole show. I'm not going to spend the whole show. Well, you could color the story with their reaction to what you were asking for. They agree. He agreed and she went 3,000.

And he says, of course. He did not say that? That's make-believe. Okay, what did he say? Well, he did not say, yeah, sure, of course. He was like, do you need that? Never, ever, he says, do you need that? Yes, he did.

Okay. You know what? Everybody is on Tommy's side. No, they're not. But you make things up and you exaggerate things. Well, and then if he says that, I don't recall. I probably said no, but I like it. You gave him a stare because he wasn't on your side.

That's what happened. He was like, do you think you need that? I am to the point of your wonderful gift and you are screwing up. But because you're telling a version of the story that isn't real. Basically, I forced Tommy and I know the audience to know that please give me a gift that I didn't need it. He really didn't want to give it to me. His friends agree with him.

But I make those faces that I know how to make. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. This is a more accurate version of the story. And you just avoid the reality of the story. Why don't they change your face there? It's just a frozen one from the clip we played earlier. The fact that you would leave right now is amazing.

Amazing. Me? Yes. I have to pee. Good for you. I have to pee. I like to pay attention. Out of where?

Out of my pee hole. Thanks for asking. Yeah, that's bonus. OK, so we are talking about the story of getting the necklace. And then she had to be brought back into reality for the real version of the story. And then you got your necklace. So embarrassing.

You're telling the story. The story was to thank you not to embarrass me. You told me we would talk about this. I told you we would talk about this in a way that I wanted to thank you not that you want to embarrass me. I'm not trying to embarrass you. I thought you wanted to tell me. You are doing it.

OK, just skip the story then. I'm not going to skip the story, so I want to buy the necklace. OK. Right, the story. You bought the necklace. It's beautiful. It brings you much joy, I'm assuming. Can I please show my necklace?

It's a beautiful necklace. Make a closer look, please. It's really nice that your son, who took you away, also bought you a lovely necklace. That was my dream. Can I please, can I? Yeah, they got it. They got it.

Really close. Yeah, they got it. Don't show the necklace. They can punch it up later, I swear, in post. It's awesome. They do. It's a lovely necklace. Thank you, Christina.

Yeah. Good job. OK. Good work. And then? I think I feel embarrassed. This is part of the routine. Why do you feel embarrassed?

This is part of the routine. Because I don't want to cry. It's OK. It's OK. He is asking for asking, because I know he says yes. I bought it just because I like it, not because I need it or I wear it. And I feel bad.

Because you... So I even... My turn. If I want to tell you more, can I tell her? Sure, you can tell her. So this morning, I have a wrap in the box, and I wanted to give it to you. But of course, he sent me to hell.

That's not an exaggeration version of that. That is no exaggeration. He was worse on that. We should call Jane. We should call Jane, because she will tell us that once again, you are exaggerating and making things up. OK, call Jane. Jane's here.

Then you can bring Jane in. Guys, could you bring Jane in, please? Bring Jane in, because she's lying. Because this is what you do. This is turned into the people's court. Because this is how she tells stories. Jane is going to tell you the truth. Jane's going to tell you the truth, because...

I didn't even tell Jane what I was planning to do. Why don't you put her in the booth, maybe? Like, she can sit in the booth. I just can't believe this. Because... Bullshit. You are the queen. You played the hero with your wife.

You're the queen of bullshit. And you spend things and you lie when you tell stories. Oh, my God. So how did this go? No, no, no, no. Because I know you're lying. Go in there. Go in there?

Who is talking to? Go in there to who? To your daughter. So she says that at breakfast this morning, when she said that she was going to give it to her... We have it on video that I went... And then I yelled at her when she said that she was going to give that necklace.

That's not true. Thank you. And that's not true, and that's what's important, is that you be called out when you make things up like that. Okay, so how did it go? Can you shut up for a second? But can you admit to the fact that you were just told that you lied a moment ago and now you're upset

that you were called out on your lie? No, because Jen can be lying too. Now your witness is the liar. Okay, how did it go? Thank you. Okay, it went like this. You shut up at breakfast and didn't have the necklace on, which was pointed out,

and then you said, well, and you looked at me and told me to shut up, I have something to say to Tommy. And you came up with this idea that you wanted to give her the necklace and the show today, which he didn't understand and I didn't understand what you were doing. That's what happened.

And what did he say? He said, I don't understand what you're talking about. The necklace I just bought you, you want to now re-gift to someone else. Can you explain that? That's exactly what he said. How much are you paying her? But see, this is what you do.

It wasn't like that. You're gaslighting. Are you gaslighting? You do it all the time. All of a sudden, the necklace I just gave you, now you want to re-gift. But she didn't do that either.

So you're doing an exaggeration the other way that she said, oh, the necklace, you're going to re-gift it. I said, I don't know what you're talking about. You asked me for this and I got it for you, and now you're going to give it to somebody else. But for you, when you tell the story, the version is either that I screamed and yelled at you

or that I was being... I start by telling you that I was dreaming to give something to Cristina. Okay. Okay. And I thought, because I don't have anything, how about... And I had it already in the box

and I gave her the necklace. Okay. And then what do you say? I said, I don't understand what you're saying. I said, I don't understand what you're saying. She was right there. The person who you said was right there, was right there.

And now your version is that that is not the truth. Okay. I am wrong. Which this version of you saying I am wrong is you actually not believing that you are wrong. You just want the argument to be over. We know you. We know what you do.

You're like, this is not new to us. Yes. I can't defend you on this. Because you're lying. So far you haven't defended anything. I was brought in for one question. The truth is the truth. I cannot defend you.

I mean, it's not what happened. Thank you. Okay. That's fun. Now, let's talk about you dying. When we were in the car. Talk about me dying. Remember on the car on the way here,

what you talked about. Oh my God. You wait on the way here. There's a different discussion. Because there's been a few. Like how we're going to handle it and whether or not you'll get a breast job before you pass so that at the wake

we can see what nice Ted does. We can still do it. We'll leave them here. Nobody see the rest because it's dead. So what's the discussion on the way here? Well, on the way here, she goes, I think we're talking about the burping and not feeling well.

She said something like, oh, this might be my last trip here. This might be my last trip. And then if I die, she goes, oh, if I die, you probably would. No, he goes, how about if you die in the show? Oh, yeah. Well, no, that was last.

That was last. First we talked about. And then I said, well, you will apologize to the audience. Your mother just passed. But the show must going on. Yeah. Well, it would be hilarious.

I thought if you died on the show. It would be hilarious if I died on the show. And it would be the most so loud show that he ever made. And that was the funniest conversation we ever had. Well, so if you died. All this start because how sick I was yesterday.

The start, actually. And I got at the point, I said, Tommy, I honestly thought. You said that if you died, that we would joke about it. That's what you said first. In the car, you said, like, who knows what you would say to your audience? I'm sure.

Let's see what jokes you would make about me. Yes, I said, I'm sure if I died for real in the show, that would be a soul out. Because all you do is will make a joke about that. Am I lying, Christina? I don't call Jim for real. No, no, that's true. I thought that meant if you just died in life.

But then I thought that would be crazy if you died on camera. That's what I thought that was about. That would be amazing for podcasts. I mean, for ratings. For ratings, that would be incredible. Advertisers would love that. To make it happen.

To be a big, big view counts, you know. To make it happen. That would be wild. Here, look at this. Oh, come on, dude. Oh, fuck, come on, dude. I told me. Oh, shit.

Why does it have to be this good? That's not funny. That is not funny. Why are you fucking me out? Who watches that? Or is it you? But, Charles, you'll be happy to know that I hate puking. So this is for my benefit now.

Like, now he's pissing me off. So don't think you're the only one that gets... You're not the only one that gets the tom, like... I think... He likes to fuck with me, too. That was pretty cool. You're really disgusting. He really is.

I'm not fucking looking at it, because it's gonna be all pukes. Dude, this chick puked on her, like, shorts, dude. Everywhere. That sucks, too, because you don't have, like... She doesn't have a diaper bag with extra clothes in it. Like, as an adult, when you go to, like, Magic Mountain.

Yeah. I got vomited on one time. I know. I have no interest. At a carnival. So in Florida, there was a carnival... I still say I'm not interested in. There's a carnival in... That didn't change the fact that he was in Florida.

I'm still not interested. He continues. We never finished about Hawaii. I was in Fort Pierce, and I want to talk about New Year's in Hawaii. Can I do my dates before she does this? Yes. Because this could be another, you know.

Who knows? All right, guys. Really exciting news. Addison, Texas, at the Addison Improv, February 2nd, 3rd, and 4th... I'm not interested in there. I added a show at Revolution Hall, Portland, Oregon, March 31st. I'm super stoked.

I have my back knee to see this. 51-1. Rohnert Park, California, March 31st, and then April 29th. Chicago, Illinois, Chicago, Illinois at the Park West. April 30th, Milk Jockey. Rohn!

Just Conson at the Turner Hall and then May 13th, Charlestown, West Virginia at the Hollywood Casino. Tickets at christinapeonline.com. Also, if you haven't already, please buy my lipstick. It's been sold out now multiple times. We are on back order.

It's bananas. I'm loving it. The product does come from Italy. So it takes a while to be made. We're streamlining it. I literally, we did not know that it would be such a success. So honestly, we're trying to figure out how to do this better moving forward.

But thank you. Cheese. Who's that, Shaq? I didn't know you have a lipstick. You don't know that? Seriously? It's a perfect red, but don't put it on. I just had a cold sore. Oh, you have it.

That's Christina's lipstick. That's my lipstick shade because I've been wearing red since I was 13 and I developed my own formula and my own color. And put the cap on. Watch when you put the cap on. It has a magnetic cap so you don't lose your cap. And it doesn't go off in your purse.

Without closing it? No, no. Take the lipstick back down and now put the cap on and then feel that. See? I know. Why doesn't, they should all have that. I know. I know. Oh, my God.

I know. Why doesn't Chanel do that? They don't get it. No, they don't get it. This is brilliant. Thank you. It is freaking brilliant. It really is. Listen up, Chanel. Don't be retarded.

I'll give you one for the road because I have them here. You get your own. Thank you. Okay. It's really nice. Can you guys see this? You're dumb if you don't buy this. There's the commercial. You're dumb if you don't buy this.

Are you... Isolate that, please. Are we talking about you dying or New Year's? I think we should talk about her dying some more. So... She's more excited with her dying. Are we finally done with her? Tell me, we did everything.

Don't even suffer. Enjoy it. Okay, so the dying was... What part? Well, no, so you said that if you died, you know that I would make jokes about it. And actually, you said something to me a couple of months ago

where you go, I'm sure that if I die you'll go on stage and you'll go, my mom died and everyone will go... I don't know if I tell you, my mom passed a few days ago. And it was... It screwed you up because you were in the middle of a show. A few days ago, probably. This is the version she's telling him on stage.

Her sister called him when he was in the show. They told me, we need your mom passed. Oh, shit. And so he says, I have to finish this show and I have to interrupt the other one. He came to see this ugly body and the teeth falling and helping to dress her.

He says it was so disgusting, but it's over. We cremate her, the powder is there. Yeah. On with the show. And he came back on time for his show. That's called professional. What ended up happening was it was very funny the way

you had told me that the first time. Like if you died, you said if I was there for some reason to help change you, like undress you. And your tits got stuck in your stomach or something. Like it got stuck. And how funny that would... How I would make fun of that.

So then when you came to my show, I told that to you and a hundred other people and everybody did laugh. So your idea actually became a great premise for a joke. Oh, that's nice. I just need you to die.

Came full circle. Wow. And they clapped with the idea of me dying. Now what I was saying was we were talking about it was a very funny premise. It would be outrageously... If I really die here right now.

On the podcast. We would never top it ever. I know. We may have to finish the show. You're wishing so much as it might happen. Between the health, the age and the diet. I might grant you that wish. Don't do that.

But just imagine... Maybe the next time. We have to plan. Look at these. I know. No, no, no. What is this? This guy is ice fishing.

What are they doing? Jumping? No, so he's an ice fisherman and he didn't realize he was set up to go fishing and it was attached to either a snowmobile and the guy drove away and then he fell

and we don't know if he lived or not. I like this one. You both have a disturbed mind. I like the sound on this one. I also feel like because it was largely human error he should have seen that in the cards. This is a pretty dangerous thing

to do in the first place. You should really be checking on your gear and your partners up too. So this is kind of his bad. Very funny. Okay, so this one... You tell him about the card and then you put 800 more

power motor so you can drive. Help me. I don't know the words of the numbers. Upgraded the motor. Upgraded the motor to 800. You're going to lose your husband. He's celebrating my death

and you're going to invite me to talk about the loss of your husband. He's between the helicoptering and the race car driving. I mean, he's trying as hard as he can. I went with him to record him. Oh, God. I record you doing your surfing.

First class, let's go deep to the ocean to see if I find a shark first. He didn't find a shark. You started out in the deep sea surface? Yes. Wow. They do that with first timers? Yeah, first timer. I didn't know that.

When you could not see anything and you see that at the end you're not sure if it's a fish or a stomach. They're going to get you. Tamsin is going to get you. Either the car, the shark, the helicopter. You're trying really hard. I set up surf lessons for Australia

which is notorious for their sharks. Oh, and jellyfish too. Just jellyfish. A great white will rip you apart. I don't care. I don't care. Don't you want to die? No, I want to

play with it. I want to play with death. I want to tease it. I want to ride the wave. You know, you're dumb. People think you are smart, but you're dumb. Because a person who's doing a show about

I want to play with death is a word that you should never come out. I think it's a thrill to play with death. But you want to win. That's the thing. I don't want to lose. I want to win. I don't know if you believe in God.

I don't know what your beliefs are, but thank God I am a very religious, Catholic person who believes in God. Mary and all the saints will protect me and they show it every single day. But the word I like to play with death

it doesn't exist in my religion. So you don't have it. What do you believe? I believe that if you break late you can still hit the apex. Can you talk in normal English or Spanish? Because neither one understands.

If you hate late you can't break it back. What is this? I said if you break late you can still hit that apex. I'm talking about driving on a track trying to get new times trying to go a little faster.

But if you really want to die it's much easier. First of all, I wear not only a helmet but also a helmet. Oh! You want to race car at 800 pounds and you wear a helmet. And a six point harness

and I happen to wear a Hans device. A Hans device? Yes. Well it sits over your shoulders and on the back and on the neck and what it does is it keeps your head from separating from your brainstem.

The body gets completely cremated. Your head doesn't separate from my brainstem if I hit a wall. Oh that sounds fantastic. So for 1500 dollars your head is going to stay in your body. But the rest of the body is in pieces

but the head is still attached. Well he can still do stand up if you have a head. Wheel him out on the wheelchair and he can still tell jokes. As long as he can still talk I might do that stand up you can do a stand up.

I look at the letters on the keyboard and then I look at I press enter with my eye and then it goes like you ever know how when you're taking a shit

you realize that this could really happen to you and it wouldn't be funny. Yeah I know. That's why it is funny. It's funny because it could happen but it's not likely. Yeah. Can we watch some talks or something?

I don't want to talk about you becoming a cripple anymore. Yeah I agree with Kristina. Всем привет. Вот маму я пробью. Sounds amazing. Да ладно. Помчали. Ow.

Oh shit. Ah. He's brusky. He's brusky. Oh my god. Oh my god. He and him LOLing. Oh.

That was a tough crack man. Oh my god. But he got through the ice. That's how he did it. He needed that body weight to get in actually. He's got that burp on. What did he think? He was jumping though.

That was kind of wild. Oh my god. Yeah. He was lucky that was shallow. LOL. Fucking crazy Russians. That shit is so awful.

Hell do you know Russian? You're speaking Russian. Yeah. How can you hit in his ear? You want to feed a bear? Oh I love that. Oh my god I love that. You love that.

Really? Do you know how vicious bears are? Look how he's sitting. Well because right now he's getting what he wants. Well I will keep giving him what he wants. Until you run out. What happens when you run out? You think you can just go I'm done?

No because he's going to be done when he's full. That's the thing. Do you know how long it takes these guys to get full? Well do you think I'm going to be stupid to don't take enough for him to get full? I don't know how many bears but I can blend you. Blend me? Yeah I put you in a blender.

You're putting me in a blender? Yeah well I know if you want to die anyway. Might as well do it with Grace. That's a good point. I know a show for Christina. That's a good point. That is a good point. How many berries do these fools have to eat?

Right. They have to eat berries all day to stay full. And like salmons and stuff? I don't know. You're not. You guys don't have a heart. You have a fart and you have a burp but you don't have a heart.

I think there's a pretty inaccurate way of describing the situation when you're looking at a bear. Look at that, it looks like a puppy. Yeah but then you actually meet the puppy and then you realize it's not. Well how can the guy did it? Because he's a stupid man.

He survived. How can you show that? We show people who didn't survive all the time. Your fan will be to show him getting killed. That's true. I don't see him getting killed. Well because we ran out of footage but that doesn't mean our dream didn't happen.

That's bullshit. Can we see another one? No puking. Good evening council peoples. You may call me mistress. I am here standing neutral to the motion approving an agreement for the proprietary purchase

of yard waste processing and disposal. I do however, find it interesting that you will spend almost one million dollars to hide your secrets down the drain. Hiding that condom I know you used to cheat on your spouse with. So I propose

that you use a quarter of that mill to support doms and subs in Broward County to build a dungeon. Created for us by us. The taxpayers and voting citizens. In closing

do not let this glamorous look distract you from doing your duty to take my demand. I look forward to spanking each and every single one of you at the new esteemed dungeon. You are dismissed.

I like her. I like her a lot. I like her a lot. Is this about a condom? No. This is a city council meeting where this absolutely fantastic young lady was saying

that the city should reconsider spending some of the money that they are already spending on all this nonsense. Roads and signs and bullshit on building a dungeon so that people who are dominatrixes A dungeon?

It's like a dark room where you can tie somebody up and spank them and do kinky sexual things. She wants the city to pay for that. I agree with her. Dungeons for doms. The guys are really maintained.

She should run for president. It's like a really great candidate. It's ignoring a huge segment of the population. That kind of room. Big community that we're overlooking. Community of voters I might add. Who are completely dismissed.

Were you always this sick? Honestly? What is sick? I'm not sure. I wish she would run for president. She speaks better than most people do. We have enough. Don't we have enough?

We have enough. That's fine. But this community is so under-served and marginalized they need their own dungeons. What do you want people making their own and it's dangerous and stuff? Let the government do it for them. You know what?

You know what? Me and Brian Creer just taught a juicy anus workshop today and got a little bit into the prostate too. Some pre-com to be secreted from my manhood. So a little bit of sperm seeped out. A little bit of testosterone. A little bit of spermadine which is good for muscle

growth. A little bit of nerve growth factor which is really good for your brain and your nervous system. This kid looks amazing. What else came out? A little bit of vitamins, minerals, oxytocin, and bonding hormone which lowers cortisol. So not only am I getting the benefit of the urine

therapy which is powerful on its own. But I'm also getting the benefit of the sperm, the semen. A tiny bit of semen that's been mixed in with my urine. And then he drinks it. Wow. That's very, very potent. I love this.

He makes his urine. But it's fresh. It has to be fresh. He was peeing the whole time he was talking. You don't do urine therapy? It's got a lot of healing powers. Seriously. I've tried it. I don't do it as regularly as he does. Oh, for God's sake.

No. But how do you think Tom looks so young? You guys are breaking every possible rule of decency. Honestly. This really is my last show. Not because I'm dying. It's because we're running out for good things.

Yeah. Drinking your own urine but it has to be fresh. Fresh does make a huge difference. But that's the key. It's pungent. It's warm. Don't you feel embarrassed to do this? And people listen to this stupidity. Drinking your own urine but it has to be fresh. Well, the fresh is a big deal.

Can I go party and bring it to you? Well, I don't know. You should drink your own. No, but I'd rather give it to you because I'm very generous. But it doesn't have the same vitamins and minerals. You need to drink your own. You can't get sick from drinking your own. Not that I can give you extra. But look, serotonin, vitamin D.

How do you think you were born from here? That's true. That's right. As you're being born. Don't do puking. I don't like the puking. She doesn't like puke sounds. No, I'm not fucking doing it, man. You gotta get over this.

You get over it. Charles Burp. I heard it. Mina. Aye. A truck running to this guy? No, the truck he flew out of the... Look, he's fine.

Okay, pass it again. I don't believe this. Is this for real or no? Yeah. The white truck gets side-swiped and the guy driving it goes flying out of it. Aye, your lord! No, he's fine. He gets up. Isn't that rad?

Isn't that one of the coolest things you've ever seen? Yeah, it's so cool. Do you want to see the one that I told you about that you were questioning? Yeah. The high heel going into the penis with the blood coming out? Aye, no, thank you. Save that for your own joy.

Is that his name? Watch, watch! You're not paying attention. Charles, look at this screen. He's holding it. No, that's not funny. It was a... He didn't put gas in his penis. No, he didn't put gas in his penis.

No, he was... He had an air gun, like basically a device that... Yeah, yeah, but he was trying to actually... Ah, for real. Can I tell you something, Tommy? I think this one... He's trying to use it to...

No, thank you. I honestly think... This is extreme grotesque. I honestly think this could have made it on America's funniest... That was very funny. But I keep talking about Hawaii. We're having this great discussion. You can't just go back to Hawaii.

But it was so amazing, Cristina. I can die. But there weren't any videos of guys getting hit in the nuts. How about cool guys? You want to see a cool guy? I know what cool is for you now. What sounds? Okay, I don't like this at all. So that's a guy

who's at the mall and he is somewhat like turned on by paper bags. So he comes and he's like, oh, I like those bags. I like their sounds and he touches them and he's like, I wish I could date one of you. I like that bag.

To the paper bag? Yeah. Guys are cool. Guys are good. Cool dudes. You guys have a mental problem now. Yeah. And you record this like...

We don't record it, but we do like to curate it and share it with people. That it exists. It's a public service. So women know. Public service. This is a public service so women know that there are creeps out there that do this stuff. Don't you think women know that already

without having to watch this? No, we're educating the younger generations. They're not always aware of these psychos. The younger generation are learning what they didn't know. Yeah, you gotta teach kids. Do you want to see some like wild shit? No. No.

Okay. You sure? Do something normal. Okay. How about this? That's not like me. Wow. That's your fart. 9.7 seconds.

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That's embarrassing. That's not. Why are you embarrassed? You should be so proud of yourself. Finally my section. Oh my god. Do you know I just realized

what I hope somebody doesn't do? What? Do you like a montage of you burping and farting from the show today? Me too. I hope nobody edits that. Because sometimes they make songs and stuff from that.

I hardly burp so I don't think... Yeah. And then when I watch what I had just... Yes. Yesterday that was insane. That was really crazy. Yes, it would be the show of your life. Charles, do you want to see my TikToks?

Yes. So these are the TikToks I've curated. I love the app. I like to highlight the marginalized people of TikTok. Maybe the people that aren't as popular. I like the underdogs, the outliers. Okay. So these are my collections.

This? Yes. Okay. Hi. Hi. I feel like you're losing... You create that? Oh, no, that's my neighbor.

I did a TikTok with her. That's a really good one. She vapes and I tell her, don't vape because you'll cough and then your teeth will fall out. She never listens. It's actually a really good one. Yeah, it's cute, right? It's like silly, funny.

Oh, my God. Tommy sent this one to me. This one's crazy. This is our gardener. And he does his hair with the same gardening shears. Isn't that crazy? That's real. You know we could actually do that.

We could do that ourselves. If we got gardening shears, we could do haircuts. Yeah. We know you don't like to pay a lot for your haircuts so we can start learning now and then when you come back we could shear your hair too. I am proud of my color, my haircut, my blow-dry.

Everything for 60 bucks. Yeah. Yeah, looks good. All right, hater fans. That's what I'm calling y'all from now on. I just made an example out of a rude mouth young man who had no right to post something. And I assure you that

he got shut down bad. You will be next. Nice, talking on the haters like that. Yeah, he's really into his haters king sweet deck. Sometimes you got to really be direct with them. Very cool. You shut a guy down pretty hard.

You're next. You don't want to get on his bad side. Definitely. Oh, this guy's my favorite. His martial arts in his apartment. He is. Whoa. Is he really that fast?

Yeah. Wow. He's not that fast. You got a good eye, Charo. He's not that fast. Now I don't know. Don't know what? If he's lying or you are lying.

No, he speeds up the footage. He likes us to think that he's that fast. Do it again. I like it. I like it too. Christina took me one time in LA to a chiropractor she had started

seeing. And it's at his house. And the guy, it was a personality. Like I'll just say that he was a real personality. So, you know, I go in, he's like, you know, I'm in the waiting

area and then he's like, yeah, I can see the way you're sitting. He's like a little bit older. You know, he's got some L3 stuff here, this part of your thing and I'm going to make these adjustments. He's like, you know, what I do is real shit

that people make fun of chiropractors. I'm the real deal. And I was like, oh, okay, that's why I'm here. So, yeah, I'm excited to thank you for seeing me. And he's like, let me tell you something, man. Like I might be a little older, but see that? And I was like, yeah.

See how fast I am? Like that. And he goes, yeah, I'm still, I'm lightning fast. You can't. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, so this is real. People are like that. He was like really doing that. And I was like, my favorite too is that when he worked on your back,

first he took some ointment and he was, okay, I want to say the right word. He's moving his hands in that area before the adjustment. And I was like, oh, when you do this, like massage, he goes, don't call this a massage.

And I go, ah, like what you're doing right now with your hands? He's like, right. I'm like, okay. He's like, you know, massaging the part of the back that he's going to adjust. And I was like, all right. I mean, he was banana. He was out of his fucking mind, but he was a good chiropractor.

Yeah, he did a good job. He was lightning fast. Get ready with me for my ex's funeral. He died last week and I want to go see him so I could say so long. I don't want to put too much makeup on. I don't want to steal the show.

You can't forget the lipstick. How do you get these, huh? It's on TikTok. There it is. Here's the light this color. I'm going to pick up a jacket and then I'm going to leave. I'm going to wear my fake fur. This is the outfit.

This is the outfit. I don't want to look too nice because this is a funeral. Do you understand what's happening here? Do you follow this story? She's going to her ex's funeral. She's going to her ex's funeral and talking the whole time about...

I didn't know. I'm supposed to be laughing? No, I just wanted to make sure you were... I am not retarded. I perfectly understood. You're retarded. Honestly, I don't know what is your problem to ask me if I understood this.

I was just trying to be helpful in case you missed context. I was like, do you follow... What she's doing. It happens fast. But I thought it was nice to see... First of all, you don't see many people her age on TikTok.

It's so nice. Cultural representation of that generation. She is for the love of her husband. It's not her husband, it's ex-boyfriend. The love of her life. I don't know if she didn't say that. Yes. Well, hopefully it was a fun funeral.

It was. She's wearing her best jacket. She wore a nice jacket. She looks good. Are you going to make love, Tamina? I don't make love. I fuck. Hard. Ah!

So, hold on. This is a cool guy. So you can duet people. So he's asking the women out there to duet him. So if they split screen and then a woman says the other part, he'll set it up and then she answers.

That's what he wants. But he writes, duet me. LOL, he doesn't want to take responsibility for it, which is really fascinating. What is it, Tom? I'm so inspired by him. This is great. Duet me, LOL.

I like that cute doggy in the background. He said doggy picture. He's a pretty cool guy. So cool. Is that from, like, great? What's it called? I'm not sure. They play this drop.

What's the one I'm thinking about? The 50 shades of gray? I don't know where this drop is. That's him. In between movies, he'll put on weight. How much weight did he put on? I mean, probably 150 pounds.

But he can drop it like that. He gets in shape. A lot of movie stars do that. They fluctuate. 300 pounds to life. Well, that happens. They get juiced up and then they have trainers and chefs.

Next time I come, I'm going to look 24. I can't wait. I'm going to shave again. Yes. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. When is the next time again? 20 years?

Not the poopers. That's for the gays. They love poopers. The poopers. Just like the gays. The gays like poopers? This is a video outside an adult, like a sex shop. And it's somewhere...

No. It's in French. You're pooping any language. No, but I'm saying they sell... They have lingerie, DVDs, toys, accessories.

I'm not even sure what that means. But then it says poopers. Because it's letting you know that if you're into pooping, you can go into that store and you can take a dump in front of people. On the floor? On the floor because it's a sexual arousal.

Oh, my God. How can it be a sexual... whatever it is called? We were talking about people we'd want to see poop. Yes. We were talking about this on the flight. Speaking of our trip to Hawaii, hold on. Tom and I on the flight over,

we were watching the Zoe Kravitz movie. What is it? It was really good. It was really good. I was thinking to myself, this Zoe Kravitz is so beautiful. Her face and everything about her is so interesting to watch.

I would even pay money to watch her take a kakao. Tom and I got into it. Who else would we want to pay? To see them take a dump. They're so fascinating. You used to see how people do it differently and what they like.

Shaq, for instance. I don't want to talk about this. He's probably... Listed at 7-1, but truthfully, he's probably 7-4. Save this for your next show. Save this for your next show, but please, I have no interest. You don't want to see this guy take a shit?

No. I'm not planning to look at anybody taking a shit. But he's huge. He's a giant. That's a 350-pound man. Oh, my God. Come on. He's the size of an oak tree.

No, you have to have a limit to this grotesque thing. You're watching somebody pooping for the others. This is your show. You can go into the store and do it on the floor. They have poopers there. Tommy, please. No, this is absolutely... And also, it's kind of sophisticated.

It's in French. We don't know where that is. I'm drinking in English. Interdit, oak, miners, manures. Manures. Guys, please stop saying that my eyes are too far apart on the live. I don't look like Sid the Sloth. What did she say? This shit always makes me laugh.

She said, guys, stop saying that my eyes are too far apart. Like, when people... Oh, they are. They make me laugh. They aren't. Oh, my God. Guys, please stop saying that my eyes are too far apart on the live. I don't look like Sid the Sloth. But when you tell people to stop saying it,

they won't stop. They're almost like, hey, guys, stop saying that. That's the logic is what gets me. You can't tell people to stop. You can't give them a formula. You're actually inviting them to say it. A thousand percent. Which they are, they are a little...

Please stop telling me that I'm beautiful. Can we... Right, stop telling me I'm so perfect. On our friend and Erie. Please, guys, stop it. So, he has... You have put up the challenge. Just to recap for people. Right.

That David Wolter, Erie's own meteorologist said he would smash me in basketball. So, I put out a challenge. I put out a challenge to a guy... You know the guy, the weather guy's mom? Like, when you watch the news. There's this weather man who said he would beat me

in basketball. So, I put out a challenge and I said, if he came to Austin and played basketball against me and beat me, I would donate $50,000 to the charity that he wants me to. Wow. So, he has accepted...

From what we've seen, he's accepted the challenge. Stop. And we are going to set up a basketball match between Tom and David. Here's the thing. Respect. You're really going to do it? Yeah.

And what's happening if he loses? He has to do an apology video. That's it? He has to make his social media accounts public for a year. That's it. What do you mean, a social media account? It's complicated.

Am I retarded? Every question I ask is too long to explain. It's complicated. It is a little complicated to give you back story and context. This is exactly why I was just trying to be polite when I said, hey, do you follow

the story of this? I was trying to make sure that it wasn't too... Too complicated. But I was doing it genuinely. I wasn't trying to be condescending when I said that, you know? It is a story. It's a long story.

And frankly, the listeners are familiar. Don't please let's not do it again. He gave 50,000 and he talks on TV. Apologize. That's it. You want to play basketball with me? Well, sure. I have to beat you.

What happens if I beat you? If you beat me? I would give you a million dollars if you beat me. Oh my God, you should start training. I'm going to start right away. Dang, a million dollars. Cash?

Do you think I have a chance? I'm not talking to you. But I also think... I will say this, though. I could play with one hand and an eye patch over one eye. And I still don't have to give me a million dollars. Yeah.

And it's not because I'm that good. It's because I know that you're that bad. That basketball. Can you stop giving me compliments? I mean... Would you like to see Rihanna take a shit? I mean, is there no one you want to...

I feel like Rihanna would be fun. Tom Cruise. He's got to be so efficient, he was wasting no time. He probably multitasks on the pooper. He probably has that smile when he's shitting. Yeah, he's like, aha! And then, also, like...

No, I think Tom Cruise is an efficiency. He makes phone calls while he's pooping. He doesn't waste time. I heard a couple stories about him. It's so sad. What about Zendaya? I like Zendaya, but I feel like she's so tiny.

It's a graphic one. You know how many times I've accidentally seen a guard throw him over the top tier to their death? Do you know how many times I've accidentally seen the guards accidentally put another inmate in their cell when they're not supposed to have a cellmate

and see them brutally get beat down? Every day, their existence, they feel so vulnerable, like they made their victims feel, but it's even worse because there's grown men that are coming for them brutally every day to kill them, extort them,

spit in their food, shit in their food, jizz in their food. Anything you can think of, they are tortured on a regular basis. The guards are down with it, and they will help you. It's nothing for someone to reach out to a family member on the outside

and say, hey, that person that hurt your family, they're in here, and I can get them hit up. They'll pay that money ASAP. They get no love, no respect, and they're just waiting to get killed. So what this is, this is an account of a guy who has been in prison and people send

questions to him about, they'll say things like, how do you cook food in prison? How do you get coffee? They ask questions, and this dude puts these videos out, this is what this is like. The question he's being asked is what happens to sex offenders?

In other words, people who commit sex crimes, rape, molestation, things like that. And that's what his whole thing right there was about, is that those guys get beaten, tortured, thrown off the balconies, their food's spit in, they get murdered, and every day they live in fear.

Yeah, it's a pretty cool story. I liked it just because it's good to know. That was to hear that? That inspired me. That's the kind of thing, you know, something like I like to start my day. But why this inspired you? Well, Christina actually had an interesting conversation.

She's inspired too? No, no, no. She was making an observation about how I've been putting a lot of healthy things in my body, but she worries about what I put into my mind. I agree. And this started...

You are so, so... She's so right that it's scary. This is not funny. I understand. Well, because you wake up, you wake up, right, and sometimes... And your brain is already distorted. You wake up, like sometimes... You wake up, and people will go, like, you know, I'm going to meditate,

or I'm going to look at the trees, or, you know, and I remember... She had made that observation, and the next day I was thinking about it, because I was like, wow, you know what, I just, I woke up and I watched a pack of lions eat a man, like attack a man. And it was the first thing that I put in my head

that day, right? It was pretty wild. And I heard your voice after that going, like, look how you're, look what you're putting in your head. And then... I have sad tummy. I don't see any joke in this. Well, I'm not telling you a joke. I'm telling you how I...

You're laughing as you tell me. I'm just saying how I start my day. I do enjoy, you know, hearing that kind of... Yeah, like, every morning we wake up, and it's either people screaming at each other, it's a fight video, it's somebody being mean, and I'm like, that's your first thing.

Distortion. I try not to... You know what I mean? When you wake up, don't look at your phone. Instead of waking up and trying to find the peace... No, that doesn't mean anything. So you try to don't look through your window, because that might give you some peace. Yeah, get angry and, like, fire it up.

I like that. It's kind of cool. Yeah, I like to wake up and I'm like... It's fucking morning. And I just go for it, you know? It's fucking morning. Are you really like that? I'm not retarded. No, that's not...

He likes to watch angry things. Yeah, like people fighting, or whatever. Anything that is sick. If he's sick, it excites you. Yeah, he does like it. It's weird. And then he falls asleep to crime, murder...

Yeah, that's true. Violence. He really likes it. You know, my father was really into crime shows. Not just a narrative, not just, like, the scripted ones. I mean, like, bio-shows. He loved watching biography stuff

of crimes and how they were solved. And I am equally fascinated by those shows. But that's different. That's not a distortion of mine that you want to see how they were solved. Well, talking about... I mean, that's what I watch. I'm talking about the shows that I watch. I watch those shows. You wake up thinking in something that is crime and killing.

I don't see your fireworks like that. No, no, I wasn't saying that. I was saying I watch a number of things. One of them is that, yeah, I like to watch a pack of lines destroy somebody. But then I also like to watch how a crime was solved and, like, the full details.

I watch the Madoff story in supreme detail. It's really well done. It's a four-part mini-series on Netflix that I highly recommend. How about what? Bernie Madoff, remember the guy that ran the biggest Ponzi scheme in Nadoff?

And... No, I get to fall asleep to listening to people get ripped off and how he conned all these people. I cover my head with a pillow because truly, and I'm being sincere, it's not even a joke, I don't want to put that in my soul

before I go unconscious. It doesn't work on me. I like crime to fall asleep. I watch crime and I sleep like a baby. When you watch something peaceful, it keeps you awake. Yeah. This story was so, so good.

So good. The monster of Wall Street, yeah. I guess I don't... How can you stay with him? I don't know. Just take his money and go. Truly, let him find somebody with a disturbed mind like that.

Well, I have problems too, but I just... We were both discussing, so apropos in Hawaii, I was getting ready, I was getting pumped for my day and what did you notice about what I like to listen to? Ugh.

The gayest shit you've ever heard. What is it called? Sisters of Mercy? It's so gay and it was upsetting. And I was like, are you getting ready? Like, are you starting this? It is a similar thing, but like, her shit's super gay and I heard it and I was like...

I never watch this, I don't know what it is. I like goth or punk. I get fired up. I like dark shit. The point is, Tom and I both like dark things. Sisters of Mercy? This is what she was listening to.

And I also have a playlist when I work out a goth playlist where it's like high energy goth music and punk music. And it's angry and it's dark and I think that's why... That's how I get up in the morning

is I love listening to goth music Bauhaus and I listen to the circle jerks on the way in just to put me in a good vibe. But I realize that Tom and I are just two sides of the same coin because that's angry and dark and so is Bernie Madoff, angry and dark and we just are both

dark fucks. Sick people but in different ways. So I don't like crime but I do enjoy depressing dark. It is truly fascinating. I mean this is nothing to do with being depraved. It is a fascinating

story about how a guy can pull off a decades long scheme where he ends up taking $50 billion from people. I actually would like to watch it. It is actually truly amazing. It's actually right now

on Netflix. Yeah, it's a four-part mini-series and it's extremely well done. It's extreme like the way they tell the story, they show footage from after he was in prison telling about how he did things and they would cut to journalists

who have done, you know, covered the story for years and very well put together and there's, I mean the sad, the sad part is of course the fact that people lost like some of them lost everything but what's more sad is how

there were people who had brought to other people's attention and it was ignored and then it was ignored again and it was ignored again and you see and they go into detail like it's not just like oh somebody did this and it was ignored they show you the emails

that somebody was sending saying like this is what he's doing and they show you how they sent people to investigate him and how he was able to just convince these people who are investigators, their job and then like if a homicide

detective came here and was like there's a dead body and you're like yeah I know but you know and it wasn't me and they're like well, she said it wasn't her and they're just like investigation over like that, it was laughable what is the name of the show?

I think it's called the what is it called made off the monster the monster of wall street, it's on Netflix it's fantastic also a huge shout out, I think it was Triangle of Sadness one of the best films I've seen in a while it's really good

it's really good it will be my type you see a bunch of people die but it's like they're all in triangle holds I know it's not what it's about but it is really good really good

but why would I want to watch something Triangle of Sadness it's just an expression it's a line in the movie, it's not about being sad there is one really sad detail I could tell you though no why don't you tell me a happy one that I should

okay, alright well you know what, how about this the final mood of the podcast today will be based on Christina's final tiktok and her tiktoks are always here you never know what you're gonna get you never know if you're gonna feel excitement

joy, fear, depression roll the dice, yes, a surprise here you go let me tell you something yes this yogurt right here will definitely help you you just pack it on that pad make sure you got a nice long one right there

and baby listen when you put that thing on, especially if you're you know it's kind of hot down there you know, something going on it's all you gotta do, make sure you coat it very very well and I'm telling you that warm sensation feel nice and cozy again

it's all it takes a little bit of yogurt put your pad right up in there make sure it's a long pad though in the maxi pad, so she's saying if you're feeling hot down there, you just put yogurt on your maxi pad and then you put your panties on

but I have so many questions, what flavor do you get, nonfat, full fat oh my god, Christina, your words on your husband yogurt in the same you put it in your so you don't feel horny anymore no, not horny, no if you're feeling

like you got an infection brewing maybe or if it's hot outside it's to cure your bacterial stuff down there so she's placing a bunch of yogurt on the maxi pad and then she's like now you put your panties on with the yogurt

in your vagina this is wait, this is medical I wouldn't consider this dirty, this is medical help she's trying to help people you're in therapy have you tried it? oh yeah

I'm doing it right now, that's how I feel so fresh do you have yogurt right now? sure do will you show it to us please? greek greek yogurt, can I see it? yeah put cucumber in there too right here, you don't think you should go to the bathroom? do you want to see my panties? no, I can't show that

that's embarrassing in private your panties, no, I want to see the yogurt oh, it's in the fridge, you ate it you had part of it this morning did you eat yogurt? no, thank you come on maybe yeah, I'm wearing them right now that's how I stay fresh

that's how I stay clean chateau chateau, this was a real treat I want to say that I've had loads of fun and laughs in the days that you have been in Austin

and in Hawaii Mahalo and it was a really fun trip I'm glad you stayed a couple of days so that you could do this I know the fans will be very excited to see you again, I know there will be a few tears that you didn't bless them with air escaping

from your rear end but I want to thank you both of you for giving me the treat of my life I have never ever had an experience like this that's very nice of you it really was it was a perfect trip

it was in every sense of the word perfect trip and you want to know something that I know will put a smile on your face? this just happened organically Nadav, the guy that works here has been starting his conversion to Catholicism

isn't that beautiful? yeah then we were just going to talk about Catholicism but we got to wrap up next time this is the best the best story I ever heard isn't that sweet?

oh my gosh please clap with me of course it's really sweet he said he wanted a sponsor I kind of shared what I could if you could teach me anything I'd really appreciate it

this is the best news you really just make my whole trip a bless I am so happy and I will start today praying for you Shalom maybe you can after that

help Tommy a little bit he's perfect he's perfect or he's perfect? he's a perfect pervert perfect pervert would you want to see the pope take a poop? what is wrong with you guys? that would be kind of cool

because does he poop on the same toilet that everybody else does in Vatican City? does he have a special pope toilet? it's got to be a toilet that not everybody can use I don't think this is even funny but it can't be we shouldn't allow them to do this as a newbie

as a real Catholic not a newbie he's transitioning yes transitioning but good enough to know that you don't make fun of there might be an amazing toilet at the Vatican they've got a special one it's the Vatican

you don't think they have some incredible toilets? I don't think it's a standard you know what I'm running out of I can't even be funny in this talk let's go back to the fun then this was an amazing trip it was

next time you come you'll be sitting here and Patrick O'Callaghan will be in there who is Patrick O'Callaghan? that's his new name the dog is kind of Jewish so this was a joke no

he's not going to use the name the dog, it's too Jewish why can't he use the name? because we're in Texas what the hell is that? Patrick O'Callaghan? that's an Irish Catholic name I wouldn't change his name

so if I become Jewish I'm not going to be Charo anymore I think they would probably appreciate it if you had a new name that's so crazy I don't think it's crazy at all why do you have to be with your name? appropriate people literally cringe

no offense when they come in he's like, Nadav? they're like what the hell is that? it's been embarrassing what is wrong with you? what do you mean?

I'm changing what's wrong with me I'm converting so the whole thing is a joke the name thing is real it's not going to be illegal unless he wants to actually go through the paperwork but I'm saying people start calling him Patty it's like a thing he's been working on

Patrick Patty O'Callaghan it's more of a Catholic name Nadav is so Jewish I never heard something so stupid like this because he's converting to Catholicism his name is going to be Patty don't you choose the same name

when you confirmed? you choose the same name your Catholic name makes sense but if I change my religion I'm going to change my name I don't have to do that but for instance

if we had Muhammad and he was like I'm converting maybe go with Mike just make things easier that's all I'm saying it's not a requirement he chose that

you didn't suggest it I did not suggest it I got red hair, people think I'm Irish do whatever you want to do I'm just trying to fit in I don't believe in anything Hawaii was a dream and here we are

your burps have subsided which is also depressing but you are alive you are well thank God thank our God and also

we will see you how soon? in an hour no but I meant when is your next trip? when can I come? I think it has to be for two weeks it can be for three days this guy is not here

let's make it official I'm gay what month is this? January I'm leaving for long periods of time I'm leaving with you I'm leaving to Australia

then I have another tour we have to figure out a date let's not do calendar stuff that's a way to don't invite me that's not true you asked me I would love to see you again

I gotta go thank you so much for coming we love you I'll see you in March in Vegas and I'll see you at the Chelsea at the Cosmopolitan in Vegas

TomSugarra.com thank you Charo thank you so much for inviting me it was amazing hello hi did you already went to far? we're talking real far

but it's far far far hey you just watched a full episode of your mom's house i hope you enjoyed it if you didn't watch another one maybe you'll like that one they're everywhere look i don't know they place them in like cubes squares whatever it is just click another one maybe you'll find someone you like or someone will get hurt