Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Using Amazon For Body Disposal w/ Duncan Trussell | Your Mom's House Ep. 865

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

Gape your 4th eye with Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell's new podcast Mystery Boys and get to the bottom of what's really going on in the world: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-i3EV1v5hLdsQknDbyTEDhROmB-qoGg7 SPONSORS: If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started: https://learn.nocd.com/YMH You can get $5 off your next order, including the Protein Pastries, at https://MagicSpoon.com/YMH. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/YMH. For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. What's up , chomos! Tom's traveling, so Christina P brings back Duncan Trussell, Mystery Boys co-host and a man whose stated life philosophy is permanent, undisclosed arousal.They open the show with another offering from the Horny Cowboy, who we learn has Howie Mandel as a follower, and a "hog reveal" so disappointing you'll wish he really did whip it out. After that, thongs as bacterial superhighways, why orgies sound exhausting, and Duncan's never-before-told stint as a sex worker who was, infuriatingly, only ever booked by women.Then it's off to Bicycle Day, the true story of Albert Hofmann accidentally inventing LSD while trying to help women give birth. They detour into body disposal logistics on Amazon, airport stress-piss theory, and Disney Adult shirts for every condition imaginable. Yes, even erectile dysfunction!Christina's TikTok curations close us out, featuring an Austin rap guy, a woman live-documenting her suspiciously cinematic bedtime routine, a separate woman convinced she's married to a Shia LaBeouf clone, homeless-removal drone fantasies, and amateur gimp training. Duncan has some really serious thoughts on gimps too. Enjoy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 865 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:41 - Stick My Dick In A Fan 00:09:26 - Opening Clip: Flash Your Lady 00:19:18 - Hog Reveal, Swinger Lingo & Orgy Logistics 00:25:40 - Sex Worker Confession 00:32:33 - Clip: Dracula Ass Pool 00:36:47 - Airport Bathrooms 00:42:25 - How to Dispose of a Body 00:46:22 - Bicycle Day: The Untold Story of LSD 00:51:53 - Disney Adults & Disney Diseases 01:03:10 - Christina's TikTok Curations 01:10:33 - The Shia LaBeouf Clone Conspiracy 01:20:47 - More TikToks 01:30:56 - Poser Gimps 01:38:57 - Closing Song - "FaceFat" by Jasilisk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. What's your favorite genre? Genre right now, drum and, oh, far, um... Farts, black guys, Jews, old people, conflict, making fun of women? I'm gonna go, like, black guys Jews? Wait, I get... Black guy Jews? Yeah, is that what you said?

Wait, where's blacks on here? I know there's a It's the blue one If we have to pick you, do farts Jew farts There's a ton of black Drops, right? You got a McDonald's, nigga?

No, it's Brian Simpson. That digs up ain't cheating. Oh, fucking retarded. Yeah. What's the Jew content? Oh, sure. Set it off, bitch. Set it off, bitch.

That's my favorite part. Here's the Jew stuff. Invented highways. at the very microphone that I use as a musician. Who said that? He was that. Which two was that? Kanye.

Oh, Kanye. Oh, yeah. He's an apology tour. He said he created the microphone. Ted, I like his name to be honest. Hipper. I don't like to wear evil next to Nazis. It's you.

Yeah, there's a lot of people that are pro-Hiller. Let's start the show. Hi, guys. Welcome to your mom's house. I'm Christine. Tim is traveling. and in his place I have the wonderful Duncan Trussell. Everybody, Duncan's back.

Hi. In your mom's house. Thank you. Back by popular demand. Oh, thank you. That's amazing. We love you. I love coming on the show.

You fill me in on what's happening, the important things going on in the culture. Yeah. Wow. Was that opening up to Ken Homans sarcophagus? Oh, my God. Isn't that the sound when they opened it up after? Yes.

And it's eerie. It's like thousands of years. It's been closed. And then they open it and thank God they were cool. We played again because it's so eerie. That's my mother-in-law's monumental fart. That's the fart heard around the world. Did you know that?

It's like a 30-second fart or something. Listen, just really listen. I want you to really hear it. You know, I bet you could give that to AI and it could show what her bottle looks like. Wow. Acoustically. I bet there's a way to identify the, probably, right?

I mean, there's got to be. You know what to do, people. You know what to do. He's right. There's an app out there that's like match the butthole movements to this far. There has to be. Match this far. Or you should invent it if it's not there.

Someone will do a much better job than me. I'm out of my vibe coding phase, but maybe I'll jump back into it just for that. Listen, before we get into it, I have to plug. I always went, don't you feel like when you say the word plug, I automatically think butt plug or like plug my asshole? Yeah. It's a plug my, my anus.

Isn't that wild? Yeah. But plugs, like, because of butt plugs, it's hard to say plug now. Isn't that crazy? I know. And I don't want to think it.

It's like whenever I see a fan, I always think I want to put my dick in this fan, even though I don't even have a dick. What? I know. That is so cool. That's such a, I've thought that too when I see fans.

That's a weird thing. Why is that so prominent that? It might be, you know, it just might be the thing that gives you access to the simulator. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, it's a cheat code in the simulator

because no one will ever put their dick in a fan. So don't worry about that. Somebody's doing it right now, Duncan. Because of this, hundreds of people now are putting their dicks in fans, hoping they can control time space. That's why you do it. That's why you do it.

That's the only way to drive a time machine is you navigate via your cock in a fan, a metal fan. Why if that was the secret? to time travel and all these smart people like Stephen Hawking and all they've tried for years and like just some fucking dumb stoner in Austin. It's just like oh I'm going to

stick my dick in a fan. Holy shit, dinosaurs! Dude, we just wrote the next Hollywood movie. This is this Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park 8 or whatever, horrific. It's the secret of Doctor Who. It's just, yeah. It's fucking suck. That does. I think it'll... They suck. Okay, sorry. We haven't plugged. I forgot

to plug my asshole. Plug your ass. I'm so jazzed. I'm coming to London. I can't believe I said jazzed. I'm so embarrassed. God. July 22nd, Lester Square Theater in London. And then I do Chicago, September 18th and 19th. And then Shart Lake Titties in Poutt, wise guys. And then Jew Orleans. Lost Louisiana. I was going to say Los Angeles, but that's not where that is. Jew Orleans. Jew Orleans at the Mardi Gras World is part of the Legion of Skanks. Skate Fest, dude, are you doing it? Yeah. Shut the fuck up, though.

Yeah, I'm doing it. Me and Metzger, I think we're going to do a mystery boys live. Dude, your show, by the way, if y'all aren't on fucking mystery boys, get your life. Get your life. It's so, it's crushing. It's so good. I mean, thanks. It's here.

It's YM.H. It's like, it's incredible. It's a fit. It's a fit. It's a fit. Where's the Get Your Life? What? Gotta be in the black folder.

Black women? You got to get your life. Well, no, I got it. Here it is. Get your life. Get your what? Get your life. You got to get your life. If you don't know, if you don't know the mystery boys podcast.

Girl, get your life. That's what I mean. Okay, so wait, I plug those live dates. Duncan, what dates do you have coming up that you want to butt plug? Oh, I'm going to butt plug the, I think I, did I, what, can you, do you have the day? I don't, my brain is gone. Put your dick in a fan. I'm gonna go put my dick in a fan.

I'm gonna be doing live performance art. It's just me putting my dick in a fan over and over. You would sell so many tickets. Way more tickets than I'm selling now. Way more. All of a sudden my age is like, what did you do? You doing some kind of new pro? No, I just, I decided just publicly start putting my cock in a fan for an hour

and just sold out immediately. Seriously, that's the essence of show. All the years. of working on jokes. No, I just, the whole time, all I could have done was publicly shoved my cock and different kinds of fans. I'm gonna...

I would watch that tour that Shub My Dick and the Fan Tour. Why don't you rename it? You got to rename your tour. Branding, bro. You know what you could call that tour? What? The Crystalia Tour.

Did he put his dick in the fan? He put his dick in lots of fans. Ha! Oh! Sad eyes great! Wow, what a banger. Thank you. Talent, Duncan Trousel.

Thank you so much. God, damn, that was funny. Yeah, I'm the roastmaster. I love to roast. It's my favorite thing. Roasting. That's what you're known for. Oh, yeah, everyone knows me for my great roasts.

Boy, you better watch out when I roast you. I'll get you. Zing. June 25th, June 26th, June 25th to the 26th. That's actually two days. I don't know if you say two that. Two days. Anyway, I'm going to be in Nashville getting my dick massacred

and at Zanis Comedy Nightclub. And because I have a special fan I haven't used yet. Sharpen blades. I'm going to be. Sharpen blades. Oh my God, please. And then, of course, I'll be at the Wilbur June 27th. You guys, Boston, massive huge tits.

That's a great venue. I love the Wilbur. You guys, he's going to bring out a bigger fan. Well, I mean, all right, I don't want to give it away. Spoiler! It's actually a boat propeller, which to me is a fan. It's basically a fan. That's fucking amazing.

I know. It's going to be brutal, though. It hurts a lot. Dude, it hurts. I got stuff to get stitches after the show. Yeah, but you'll make enough money to offset the cost of the ER trip. Yeah, yeah, we got all these kids now. Cost benefit.

Yeah, that's another thing. I just don't want any more kids. You guys, Homeboys got, how many kids do you have now? Four! You guys, buy tickets to see the goddamn shows. Please. What are you doing? Please.

Help Duncan Tressel, support his family. And if you happen to be at the show where I successfully dismember my cock, we will do a raffle, and one person in the audience will take my cock home. You heard it here first. That's a YMH exclusive. Yeah. He said it. It's going to happen.

Come on out. All right. You know what? Let's get the show started. I feel like you and I are lightning in a bottle today. It feels good. Do you feel aroused yet? Because, hold on. I'm always kind of like a high-level state of arousal. Gross. I'm always turned on. That's awful. What an awful person. God, all the time. Flash your lady.

and then tell her I hope this made your day because I'm looking forward to you making my day when you do the same thing I'm going to puke, hold on I can't fight it Oh okay, there's the theme Don't bring anyone love to this

Yeah Yeah Dude Wow Yeah Dude, there's so much there. Miao. Miam. There you go.

Miao, meow, meow. Miao. Miao. Feel it in your jeans. Pull them all the way up. Are your jeans tight? Yeah. Good.

Because I have a hernia. It hurts. It pushes into my hernia. You like it. You know that's thrill. It's something about it is sensual. Sensual. Can I tell you that I know a lady, a gal, who only wears thong underwear.

And that's literally what that is, is a piece of fabric running against your beehole. Yeah. And she's had two kids. So, like, she's got hemorrhoids probably just like I do. Sure, of course. What do you think's happening there? To the hemorrhoids? No, just like psychologically in her life.

That she's wearing a thong. Yeah. You know, the thong phenomena is really curious, is it? Because it's like you've got essentially a chord, right? That's what it is. It's like just rubbing against your, it's a cord. It literally is taking like a piece of rope and being like, let me rub it against my butt and my vagina. But sometimes I want to move.

I want to bend over and then the bacteria from my ass will go into my vagina. I would guess that for the bacteria in your asshole, the thong is a kind of superhighway, that you can travel down into the pussy. It has to be, right? Maybe some scientists out there could, but it would spread theoretically. Of course. So, yeah, if you're wearing a thong, you're for sure, for your ass bacteria, it's like the equivalent of the Silk Road. It's like the Silk Road that changed history where they started shipping. it's like seafar

it's a gift but I guess it's all underwear I mean I you know I don't have anything against thongs it's just it seems like you're trying to say look I want to show my butt hole I mean my butt

it's a way to show your boat I agree because I wear full flavored cotton breathable chonies because I am I'm 50 who am I fucking impressing but does it make my butt look great? No

no right but then it's like the sacrifice of vanity versus vaginal infections. You really got it, but maybe she doesn't get vaginal infections. Maybe not. Maybe she sterilizes the thong before she puts it on.

Or maybe she's, because she's done it in her whole life. Like maybe her callous. Callous butt. Thong calluses. Yeah, I don't know. I've never put much thought into the, like, in the...

Well, it's time to start thinking, isn't it? I'm sorry. It's one of those things that passes you by. It's time to put thought to important topics. Oh, my God. I don't know. I need to think about this stuff more. Let's talk about the horny cowboy first of all.

Sorry, yeah, let's get into him. Carl, hot Carl. Is that his name? It's Carl, right? Kurt. Oh, Kurt. Kurt. That dude's name is Kurt.

Is his last name available? Kurt. I don't want to dox him or anything, but have you seen the new Cape Fear? Not yet. It's great. It's great. But, like, imagine that. is Max Katie.

Like that's the- That's the guy. That's the guy who stalks you. Just this, yo. Because that is a scary man. Duncan,

you're 100% right. It's not the one that outwardly looks like the psycho. It's the guy like this. It's like, well, I'm just a nice guy. I'm just trying to.

What's weird about this? Just trying to flash my wife and my lady and get her to flash me back. It makes me, but it's, but the look in his, the thing that's always freaked me out

about his work, his body of work, is that he's, He's got a kind of clarity in his eyes that I don't like. You know what I mean? He's somehow really all there. He's super focused. He's got this.

Well, but you know what that means is that he's just really this horny? Like, he's just so, oh, look at Happy Taco Tuesday. Oh, God. Ew, dude. It's pinned. He liked it so much he pinned it. She's going to shit on his face. that is

wow dude that is so gnarly look at that now let me ask you this do you think he's so in he's married right yeah is he just horny

or is it this chick that's arousing him this hard okay here's gonna be my guess yeah my guess is that you know garden variety swingers right and they started posting he started posting its weird stuff

and he didn't expect it to take off off and then suddenly it takes off. Now they're locked into being eternally horny. Like he can't post, he can't come on there and pose like my mother passed away. You know what I mean? It's his identity now. Yes.

Because it gets him traction. Yeah. Why aren't you following him, dude? What's up? Fucking Ian Fidantz follows him. Of course. Kyle Dunn. Kyle Dunn.

Every, every comic follows him. We're like, this guy's the best, dude. Howie Mandel follow him! Howie Mandel follows him! That is so cool. See all followers. Let's see you, Obama, the Clintons. He's in a secret cabal of leadership.

Yeah, what if he's tied into the Obama? Welcome to the mystery boys. I'm Kermes, Trez, White Clause, Miss. Dunstan Trudeau. We're here to gape your fourth eye. Three-eye Atlas. JFK's doctor. Hamas.

Hitler's doctor. M.K. Ultra. Drina Crum. Alcer Crow. You ain't heard the mystery boys get to Mbomba. I didn't see one dick in those catacombs, and I looked everywhere. Well, this is the show, guys. I hope that your mom's house is happy.

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Can we scroll that? I just want to see if there's anything he says that isn't this like crazed. Oh, he's lifting his way. He's got to show you he's lifting way. Oh, he'll yourself out. Build yourself up just in a minute. Oh, very inspiration. Look at what Matt Daly 19 asks. Wait, wait. Oh. Are you Christian?

That's your question Who cares? That dude is like He's like the groundskeeper at Zora Ranch It like Epstein's Ranch For sure Look that other guy said Still waiting for the hog reveal

Hail Satan X 99 X Still waiting for that hog reveal You've been torturing me for years, man When do I get to finally see that hog? And then right underneath it Are you Christian? It's such a dichotomy. It's idiot.

The light and dark right next to each other right there. Like if he is a Christian, it's okay? Sure. This is amazing. Let's look at the reply from, because did he write back to Hail Satan 9-99? Ah, you wrote back. Didn't we have a hog reveal on April 1st?

The video is still posted. What? Get in there immediately. Laughing emoji. What are you doing? We got a hog reveal, April 1st. Let's get down. Lady to be. Where's that hog reveal?

There's no way. He can't show his hog. No, he probably has a joke. It's probably like a pig. And he's like, see, you guys want to see my hog? Like, that's what these idiots think is like real funny.

Yeah, it's going to be a pig. Yeah. For sure. Ew, look at him and his gross wife. Here we go. I need to watch this. It's to start by running your hand up the back of her head.

Fuck off. And gripping her hair. Oh. I'm gonna fucking frog. They're giving her just a little bit of a pole. All right. And then run your hands down the side of her face. Okay.

Her chin. Okay, okay. Got it. I got it. I got it. It's your chin and lean in just a little bit. Okay. How much?

Best way to stimulate her sexual nervous system. What the fuck? That's, what is he? Running your hand. Kristen has given her permission for a hog review. Hogreville! April polls. They got us.

Kristen has given her permission. They got us. They got us. Oh, that Satanist was like, what the fuck? He had the lube out. He was like, finally a hog reveal. And you know what, too? You're absolutely right at the swinger

because he's using that lingo of like, Kristen gave me permission. Like, they have to talk about, I mean, look, I understand the allure of being a swinger. I get it. I totally do. I think the nonstop communication with your partner would make me,

insane and like is it really worth it if you have to discuss every fawking feeling you have? It's horrible. I would hate it. It's a hell situation. Orgies? I've never done one. Tell me. Can you imagine how fucked up?

I've never done an orgy? I'd like to. You would do an orgy? Absolutely. Oh, God. Absolutely. That's one of my, I would love to. Dude, I would love it.

I would do it if like, I would do it if I could get like Kamal Nangiani's trainer and fucking whatever that shit is. He's in great shape. If I could get like that, but it like, you know what I mean? I'm going to like look around it, no doubt. Like, everybody's going to be in better shape than me. I'm going to come within three seconds.

There you go. He looks great. Imagine being in an orgy and Nongiani walks in. Just starts banging. Yeah, but here's the thing, Duncan, is like, you're not going to do it in a brightly well-lit place. Like, you're going to be fucking ripped in half, bro. Like, you're going to be high.

fuck and like it's gonna be dark and you're not gonna care I'm gonna care I'm gonna care I'm gonna care no for real I this is not anyone else's problem like I guess I shouldn't like shit on orgies because it's you can you can't you can't show in issues but it's just you know the orgy dome at Burning Man I could oh yeah I forgot I could have gone there I didn't go here's my problem with sexual activity at Burning Man I've been there one time just I did a TV show there whatever I didn't know that yeah a long time ago and I remember there was like an omelette for orgasms tent and like girls are getting eaten now or whatever.

And here's the deal is that it's so dirty at Burning Man. Like there's no showering. Like the hose truck comes by and hoses people down. There's no way to piss and shit in dignity. You have to go in. To go to the Port-a-Jon. Yeah, it's not sanitary. No one's ever said that.

It's filthy. You're using wet wipes to clean your body out there in the dust. It's disgusting. It's very disgusting. But that as a lady, like if I had an orgy, I would STD test everybody. Like I want everybody's stuff. Yeah. And then everyone gets showered thoroughly cleaned.

Yeah. Like I want like a bather. Yeah. Like when you go to those like spas where they, have you ever been to those spas or they scrub you get? Korean. Like Korean spa scrub everyone down. Test their test what's going on and then bang. And then bang.

But how, it's just, it's just. How long does it go on for? Like, doesn't it just get old? Five minutes. It's like trying to watch an entire porn. There's no way. No way. So your orgy's like five minutes,

except for, like, people like the horny cowboy who's going to be fucking all night. He's not going to stop. It's going to be him and, like, two other... You know what I mean? You're ready to go to bed. You're done. You came. You're coming down.

You're just like, I want to go to bed. And this guy's like, you know, this technique, a tantric technique. Put two fingers in your ladies. Nostril. and pull her towards you while smearing your jizz in her eyes. Tantra. There's no bigger nightmare for me than that.

I mean, I don't know. I can't imagine. Me either. I can't. Maybe I'm uncomfortable with my own sexuality. Probably. I'm sure, you know, I'm way too traumatized. Me too. Me too. No. Really? Oh, my God. I mean, this is, I'll do a reveal

that I've never talked about. Oh, okay. Go ahead. So, you know, when I first came to LA I had to make money and so I became a prostitute a sex worker they didn't say that back then they called us hos and so like

I had a pimp and I had to like you know and you can't when you're a what they're calling a sex worker now but when you're a ho and you're you're called up and like hey go fuck this lady weirdly it was always ladies never wants to do never wants a dude and I was always banging these ladies up in the Hollywood Hills yeah and it broke my heart it did I was used yeah used and abused like once I remember going to I haven't told this to

Aaron but I remember going up to like an entire it was like a gymnasium filled with these like elite models and they what they did to me that night traumatized yeah I have trauma PTSD so I can't do You are lucky that you never got called to do a dude. Like that's... Never once. Just like a hot young... I would have loved it. Yeah.

I was always excited just if one dude, just one, can I get one guy? Do you know how quick, like how efficient of a sex worker you would be if you only did men? Like guys probably know how to make another guy. Yeah. Begok in like two seconds. Your business would be... Dude, you could crank so. many dicks in like an hour if you if you routed it correctly in l.A if you're like hey i'm in the west

side a fucking four o'clock on a friday you can yeah jack july five minutes this guy's house five minutes five minutes five minutes wow though i guess that's like you know if you're that's what we need is like an uber for sex workers this is a great idea yeah you know i i don't if you had to guess if you had to guess how many like may heterosexual sex workers are there? Like how many dudes are out there making a living, like getting paid by women to fuck the women? Oh, 0.01.

There's a few, right? But it's not many. There's no such thing. There's no such thing. There's no such thing. It's not real. Well, there was that TV show Jigalos that we were really into. Was it on HBO or Showtime?

And they claim to be heterosexual male prostitutes. And like, yeah, but you can tell it was so produced because it would be like, I don't know, like, rare. Like, maybe occasionally the office, Kathy, you know what I mean? He's like, I just wanted to do this for my, treat myself for my birthday. And you're like, okay. But, you know, I mean, obviously there's that, like, what's it called?

The strip show in Vegas. Oh, yeah, but what's it called beef, beef cowboy or something? Yeah, cowboy beefs. But for cowboy beef, but for sure. Sure, those guys probably sell their ass, right? Like after a show? Sure. So that's the 0.001% is definitely like after the show.

See, because I think married women or women in general would feel comfortable being in gaggles of other women ogling young dude. There's a safety to that. Because you know there's not going to be a boundary crossed. Right. Yeah, but actual, I don't know, dude. The thunder. Thunder from down under.

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for full details, restrictions, and important safety information individual results. It's my fairy based on studies of topical and oral monoxide and fanasteride. It's just gay to see dudes. First of all, they look kind of gay already. And then when they dance, it's not hot when they dance like strippers do. Like, I don't know, dude, it's that. You know, it's not hot. Oh, this shit's so fucking gay.

It is gay. It's gay as fun. It's gay. Dude, it's, look at that fucking cowboy. Dude, the cowboys, I'd rather see a real cowboy, like a real guy from Texas. the guy that comes to your house to fix your air conditioning when he takes his boots off on your front porch that's arousing you're like oh this guy's a real fucking cowboys

that's an actual cowboy versus that well look it's an abomination we live in the world of Satan and everything's collapsing enough said speaking of hold on how do you feel about this guy maybe he's more your speed The world is mine. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Who says the devil doesn't drink happiness? You know what? You know what really fucks that up? That whole thing? Is the exit sign? You know what I mean? Because he's trying to give the impression he's in his little... It's a little... blood grotto and then you see that green exit sign what's that said where the fuck is that say

can you if you have a look at his face he's really selling oh he's evil that guy's real evil and for somebody his body's not great he's really letting it rip yeah he's at peace with his body at least yeah this has to be where in romania okay here we go upload instagram under the handle. A short reel of a... Here's the description. What is it? What's the description? This is what the staff writes. Ready? Yeah.

A short reel of a weirdo and is Dracula-ass Gothic pool. Exact location unknown. Well, it's some kind of stupid hotel. Like, you could... It's a dumb tourist hotel. It's not real blood. What? I'm sorry. I don't mean to do this.

I don't mean to be a debunker. But if I had to guess, the weirdo is not in real blood. he's at some garbage goth theme hotel and and probably when he got in the pool and started doing that shit everyone who was there left because I get the fuck out he's out of his mind to me it just looks like he got his period yeah it's a fucking nightmare it's horrible but this is not wait oh here what do you say no you're right it's a hotel in turkey called the garden of tombs oh boy but that's still doesn't explain all the wild symbolism throughout the place. Oh, it does explain it. Oh, boy, but it's, we really want to know what it is. Oh, with this stupid candle.

Get the fuck out of here. You're not the vampire Lestat. He's no Lestat. You're no fucking Lestat, you piece of shit. Yeah, a vampire, listen, I'm into this shit heavy. Okay, if I'm going to be honest, I'm a goth. I fucking love this stuff. I'm going to go here. This is the Garden of Tumes in Turkey. Yeah, I would love it. I would love it to pieces. He is no vampire, sir. You're not doing a good job. Not a vampire. Yeah, you don't walk around.

Lestat would never walk around in wet boxer shorts clinging to his little cock. Right? You would never see Lestat doing that. Lestat would at least pull his shorts down. Like, but he would be mortified. Like this guy. Or go nude. I feel like Lestat's got a good body.

Lestat would go nude and levitate out of there. Yeah, exactly. He would, exactly. Lestat wouldn't wear those shitty fucking Spincers gifts. rings. See, exactly. This is why it doesn't work. Now, if he were more vampire, vampiric, yeah, I'd be, I'd be like, yeah, dude. That's cool. This is this, like, this guy has it dialed in. He didn't take it seriously enough. It feels like he's a weekender is what we used to call gotts that were only weekend gotts, like not full time. Like, this guy's going to hot topic. Day tripper.

Yeah. Yeah. This is bullshit. Yeah. And I don't even, but, you know, and I think it'd be fun to go there, but like real goths they're like in the catacombs of Paris like you know you want to find the real vampires they're out there but there's no way they're getting sucked into some bullshit tourist attraction tomb of bullshit thing

it's so embarrassing I'm so embarrassed as a goth I'm very embarrassed yeah well I don't think that you know I don't think you should be embarrassed because everyone who looks at that knows this is the most well he's representing my community and this is why I'm like

I don't want everybody to think that this is my community. You know what I mean? As a God. Right. I don't think people, I don't look at him and I don't,

I don't think Goth at all, at all. Okay. Okay. I was on an airplane going to Brea this weekend, or last weekend, wherever it was. And,

dude, I saw like grown men, like a lot of grown men with backpacks, which is fine. But the charm, you know, you've seen these fools

with like the charms attached to a backpack? Yeah, the labooboos. Is that what that is? Well, it's part of the thing is you put a laboooo on your backpack. And it's not, I have to say this. I do have a backpack, but I put it on my suitcase. I don't carry it on my, unless I absolutely have to. I don't carry it on my back.

And the reason I don't do that is because these fuckers with their backpacks, when they go on the plane, they slam into your ass with their stupid, So you get a greasy comic-con jizz-crusted libubu rubbing into your face. They're like turning around with their backpacks. They're lububu's jangling. No. No. It is completely absolutely unacceptable across the board.

It's un-a-oh-oh-oh. I know I've heard the word, but I couldn't imagine an adult male heterosexual doing this. Is this in the heterosexual male community? No, I think it's like the deep. nerd community. It's like, you know what I mean? It's, it's, it's your, you're wearing a roadblock shirt. You're in your 40s. You got Labibu's on your fucking backpack. You're pasty and sick. These are the people who like lay down on the floor of the airport. They'll lay, they'll lay you like that's down. That's, yeah. Yo, as someone that's done that, like,

I've been trapped overnight in airports as a, is a younger comic. I've done it. We've all done it. I have to. But it's so vile now as an adult. I'm like, oh my God. That's how you get AIDS and all the fucking diseases, dude. Yeah. It's so dirty. It's so nasty. You think they ever steam clean those airport carpets? No.

Not once. No. And it's the way you understand why you shouldn't lay on the carpet of an airport is going to the airport bathroom. The guys' bathrooms, it's just guys just piss all over the floor. They don't even try to piss in the urinals. So it's just in front of the urinals inevitably is like a almost a creek. like a creak of piss

because guys are everyone's stressed out so they piss on the floor stressed out you think it's the travel it's stress piss they're like you know they're freaking out

their benzos haven't kicked in yet or kicked in too much and they piss next to the urinal and then all the piss gets on their shoes and then they walk through the airport and so every square inch of airport carpet is covered in piss and then the little babies

those poor little babies are watching and you're like put fuck don't let your baby crawl on the fucking floor well you know what's interesting about now that you say that, the stress piss, dude, you just blew my mind. Stress piss. Bro, I just had a fucking epiphany, like 50 years' life. I didn't fucking put two and two together why the ladies' room always smells like hot diarrhea.

Yeah. People are stressed. Stress shitting. Yeah. Because I was like, most ladies' rooms don't smell this bad. Oh, dude. But like an airport toilet? Dude.

It is hell on earth. And you see these like waves of like content. You know, one of my kids told me, I didn't know this. Apparently, like, when monkeys, when one monkey pisses, it triggers like the yawn response in humans. They all start pissing. And so some stress shit pheromone gets released from some dude and spreads to the airport. And then you get these lines of people who need to take a stress shit. And the bathroom just filling with just the rancid stink.

It's so bad. Horrific. Airports are nasty. And as somebody, oh, this is a hot tip if you're a traveler. I'm exclusively a washlet user, the Toto Washlet. What is that? Oh, you've shit at my house, haven't you? No.

What are you talking about? I've used the bathroom. I haven't shit in your house yet. Well, what do you? Are we even friends? I just haven't had to shit there yet. Oh, well, come over. I'll come over and shit at your house.

I kind of have to shit now. Thank you. I'm happy to shit here. And then come over and shit in my house. We have the spray. It's a spray, like a bidet. And it sprays water onto your asshole so that you're not mushing filthy shit. You know what I mean?

Of course. You're taking toilet paper. I'm mashing the shit into your ass. Oh, bidet's are the best thing. Okay. So when I use the airport tourlet, I can't, there's no bidet there. You shouldn't use a bidet at an airport toilet. No.

But you know what I have figured out? I buy the wipes. and fuck the airport's plumbing. I don't care if I clog up their toilets. Right, no. Or the hotel that I'm staying at. Nope. I'll fuck up their plumbing too.

Yeah, they can have it. If you don't have a wash left for me, like, here you go, asshole. Why didn't you think about that for me? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's number one, I'm guessing, like, whatever plumbing they use at airports is the same shit they use on like Elon Musk's rockets. Right.

Like, God only knows what's getting flushed through those pipes every day. Oh, my. God, like drug mules that have changed their mind. Glass eyes, fingers, like, sternums, ground up bones, ashes. I'm sure more than a few people's ashes have just been dumped. You're taking your ashes and I can't do it anymore. Just dump it in the toilet. We're not going to scatter that around Disney.

Oh my God, of course. Yeah, just medical waste. Yeah. No tell. So I went on my kids field trip to the garbage dump here in Austin. Yeah. See, I didn't. think it would be exciting until I started talking to the dudes that worked at the garbage dump.

Do you know how many severed heads they find a lot? How many? How many? One a quarter. There's a severed head or a limb. And yo, they'll find like the arm at this dump and then they'll report to the police and then they'll find like the guy's leg or the woman's leg probably in another dump in a different district. So whoever it is puts it in different trash cans in different areas. just scatters it around to disperse it.

That is so, it's so, there's something, I mean, obviously murder or dismemberment, it's evil and bad, but you do have to respect the amount of work. Yeah. Murder is put into that, their craft. I know. I know. I know. Because like, you know, I'm so lazy.

I feel like, you know, like the idea of going to a bunch of different dumpsters. And I'm always impressed with that, like, that level of, of, like, that, that rapper. Remember, what's that dude's name who like killed his, apparently killed his girlfriend? You know what I'm talking about? Which one? It's some singer. They found he was dating an underage girl and they found her body in the back of his Tesla, but he'd only like started dismembering the body and then kind of was like, I'm not doing this. And then just left. David and the Tesla? Yeah. That's him. Well, it's got a, four VD. I think people underestimate how hard it is to saw through. a body like bones and shit.

Is it hard? That's what I've heard. If you have a surgical saw, I can't be, it's probably not that. Where do you get a surgical saw from? Where does one a client? Amazon? Look up surgical saw on Amazon. I guarantee you could get everything you need to dispose a body on Amazon.

No problem. They have a list. There you go. 17 bucks. No problem. Easy. 17 bucks. Now, okay, surgical saw.

What else are you going to need? Back. But the special. kind of bag that can handle decomposing parts and the gases and the juices. Medical waste. Medical waste bags. Extra sturdy medical waste bags. There you go.

No problem. Okay, hold on. What about lime? When you spray that on the body. Lime. Yeah, something to like, I bet you could just use glade though, but let's look up. Glead. Lime.

Glade. Glade. There you go. There you go. Fast-acting lime. They got everything you need to dispose of a body. This is amazing. What else?

So we got the bags. We got the lime. Holy shit. We got the saw. Holy. I mean, you've... Hydrated lime. Legit.

And then obviously, you can obviously get all the other stuff you're going to need before the murder. The problem with buying it on Amazon, though, is that it's so easily traced to you. Unless you send it to some, like an X-South. boss the DigiDirty, you can send it to their address maybe? Yeah, you could sit it to someone else's house. I mean, I'm sure they have all these things at Home Depot. Like, you just go to Home Depot. That's how a lot of people get busted is Home Depot. Right. That's the thing is that how do you buy these things undetected? Yeah, it's, you have to be very careful about it. It's interesting, like, what I've heard about manufacturing LSD, because all of the precursor materials to make LSD are also

attract. Like if you're buying this or that, it probably means we're trying to make LSD. So people will like fly, like get different people to fly to different parts of the world and buy the separate materials and then bring them together. Wait, what's in LSD? Will you look up? I'm curious. Now you got me curious. Yeah, this is great. Look up how to make LSD after we just looked up everything you need to dispose of a body. Like right now, there's some light blinking on an NSA. agent's desk.

Beep, beep, beep. What the fuck? Lysergic acid dithelamide. I know that. We make it bigger. Come on, we're old. I had my eye exam. It's not good.

Let's see. LSD is synthesized from the lycergic acid, which is naturally extracted from ergot, a parasitic fungus that grows on grains like rye. While its precursor comes

from a natural source, the drug itself is produced via chemical processing in a lab. How is it consumed? How it is? Come on. We know that.

Everybody knows. Wait, I didn't realize it was from a fungus. Yeah. I thought it was all like man-made weird. Isn't that cool? Timothy Leary created it or something. Well, Albert Hoffman did, but the... I like that you know that offhand.

You're like, Christina, it's Albert Hoffman. Pull up a picture of Albert Hoffman. Nobody knows that. Just Duncan. People know that. Albert Hoffman is like, uh... He came up with this shit. This guy does not get enough credit, man.

Look at him. This guy. That guy? Because we would not have LSD. probably, if not for this guy who was doing, who was studying actually how to induce uterine contractions.

They were looking for something that would help women give birth. And so they tried this ergot derivative. And they apparently, like, you know, they were testing on mice and the mice started acting weird because they were getting huge

downloads from God. They're like, what is the meaning of this? Yeah, yeah, they were fully like talking to Jesus and like, but I think he said they were walking backwards and their hair would stand. Because you, the amount of acid they gave those poor mice, God only knows, because they didn't know how potent it was. And so they shelf the experiment, which it's Sandos laboratories. Like, okay, like, it makes, I mean, it makes mice do funny shit, but like it's not going to help pregnant ladies. And so then he had some intuition or something and he took it back out again.

and essentially like dose himself and that's bicycle day April 19th that's what we celebrate that's that true yeah it's called bicycle day stop he dosed himself could you imagine though dude like you you're the first guy to drop acid alone like you don't even have like a partner to talk you down when you're like what the fuck you got it and and you would freak out he gave himself apparently somewhere around like 800 micrograms And that is so much. And this is fresh to the universe LSD. It's just existed.

This is like Jesus tears. This is like, you know what I mean? This is like getting a drop of Christ's tears off the cross. And they call it bicycle day because he apparently was riding his bicycle home. And he looked down and he was flying over the mountains. And he thought to himself, well, I either have died or something at the laboratory is like this LSD. is like, he gets home, losing his fucking mind. And remember, like, you know, anyone who's taking acid around hour six,

hour seven, you're like, I just want to come down. Yeah. And you know you're going to come down. You don't know. It's nine hours. But, you know, we have reference. Like, it lasts maybe 12 hours at the bus. He didn't know he was going to come down.

His wife was giving him milk to try to help him because that's what you give with for helping someone. So the last thing you want to drink on acid is like glass. This is like warm milk, Swedish milk. So yeah, that's bicycle day. Dude, that trip, I wonder if he even could relax and enjoy the journey when you're that high and you have no idea when it's going to stop. Fuck, dude. That's so awful.

Outside of the mice, it has to be one of the worst trips in all of human history. To the point where when he found out the hippies were taking it recreationally, he was like, why? Like he had such a bad trip. Yeah. He was really confused. People were like, yeah, man, let's trip out. But it's because they knew that they would come down. But yeah, he's like, he's up there with Oppenheimer.

He's up there with, yeah, because think of how much acid changed the world. I know. Great music. A whole generation, like, did stuff. No, I mean, like during, right, like the Vietnam era, right? You had an entire generation of people who dropped out of society. And we're like, fuck this. I'm not doing what my parents did.

That's right. Let's just go do a bunch of drugs and live on a commune. Yep. The unabomber. The unibomber. We got the unabomber. They're in tests on him at Harvard. Yeah.

They were doing M.K. Ultra shit to Ted Kaczynski. And they think there's no proof they were giving him LSD, but they were probably giving him LSD. Yes. Isn't there stories about Manson, too, and his clan that the government was seating them LSD? Just testing them. Just testing the hippies, the dirty hippies. just they would come into like the free clinic in san francisco i think yes yes i read that in um that book about manson that just came out yeah yeah yeah but that's wild that shit shit is crazy

but who cares what are you gonna do what are we can be in an experiment right now right oh well i'm sure we are i'm sure it's already if i don't know yeah but anyway the point of the story is i saw adult males with these luboo boo boo things and i was so confused and then you came in and mentioned Disney adults. And yeah, like, I just, I don't like the infantilization of, like, men today. It's so fucking gross, dude. Like, they're so gross. It's a whole series of performative.

It's like, in the old days, flashing, right? There was, like, a basic way you flash, right? These are the good old days. You get a trench coat and you flash. That's how you do it. Everyone knew you were a flasher. Yeah. You're flashing.

Maybe you like streaking somehow became like a more acceptable form. Right. Streaking. That's so fun. Which is just flashy. It's another form of flashing because it's athletic or something. Sure. It's more accepted.

But now there's these new forms of flashing, which is not necessarily showing your junk, but it's still going to a place you shouldn't be. Right. And in a performative way, drawing all the attention to your, ulcerated, pox-ridden, god-cursed body and acting like the fact that people don't want you there is a sign that society is collapsing. Right. It's an inversion of the morality behind it, too.

We're the assholes because we're like not permitting these petos to do their weird shit. There you go. And now you're the dick because you're not letting someone live their best life, the Disney adult. Yeah. Now, look at these grown men with these little dollies. I mean, this is. Just get his Labubu. Look, I just, oh yeah.

Hey, look at your kids' babysitter. I would give all of the money I had to keep my children away. If I knew there was a way. Like, look at this. He's got the Laboubu belt. I don't like this at all. No, he seems like he's going to blow up like a mosque. I don't like any of this shit.

Look at this dude, hauling out his fucking Labuboos. Look, I feel ashamed that I'm just late to this hatred party. I can't hate this more. Well, apparently they're putting microphones in the boo-boos. You know about that? No, good. To find these creeps that are doing terrible things. Is that why?

Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know why. It's like there's obviously you look at these things. They're, it's, I don't know what you call the like secret palisthetic. Oh. You know what I mean? But it is that aesthetic. It's the pedesta art aesthetic.

You know what I mean? It's that kind of like, I don't know what it is. It's like a symbol. Hey, I'm, I'm a creep. over here. Yeah. Let's do creepy shit together. You and me, bro.

And Labubu weirdly sounds like Pizzuzu, which is like a demon, a Sumerian demon. So it's like, I don't know if that was intentional or not, but, you know, the original Laboooooo, there you go. Fuck a Pizzou. Look, it looks like a Laboooooo. That's horrible. It's fucked up.

I can't hate it more. But show, you sent Josh Zolo a really inspiring Disney Adult thing. Could you show that, Josh? I am one of these. Yeah. I wish you could play the music because the music is like Disney adult with anxiety. You mean every parent at Disney?

Yeah, like it sucks to be there. So just for people listening and not watching, it says Disney Adult with Diabetes is the first light. And it's got the fucking hand hearts, which I can't hate hand hearts more. I fucking hate hand hearts. It's so disingenuous. Oh, get fucked with your hand.

Fuck off. Fuck right off. I hate it. fucking hand hearts put those hands in your asshole shit I think but Disney adult with diabetes Disney adult with anxiety

yeah no shit everybody Disney adult with endometriosis very specific very specific Disney adult with pots Disney adult with erectile dysfunction where's that one those are the only Disney adults

that should be there are ones that can't get bone Disney adult with lupus how many of these did this they make. I mean, this is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen. Fibromyalgia Disney Adults. Jesus Christ.

Everybody has to be represented right now. Autism? Well, that's okay. That's okay. I like autistics a lot. Yep. They deserve it. Migraines. I mean, come on. Disney adult with a cold.

Disney adult with gas. Disney adult who's hungry. Okay. M.S. I feel like I'll let them, that community, do the heart hands, Disney adult? Sure. I mean, their life is hard.

Some of these are okay. Not all of them. Hashimoto's thyroiditis. It's very specific. God damn. Everybody gets one. Everybody that's literally every disease. Disney adults with schizophrenia, Disney adult with a lobotomy.

Disney adult. He's fucking nerds, man. If you read with a script, this is, I guess, the thing that is like, bothers me. It's like, it's like, it's not to say that like, it's not, like, I know it's hard. Like, we exist in a, we exist in a, we exist in a very rough part of time space. And our bodies fall apart. Everyone's body falls apart. All of, all of us will die in probably horrible ways. Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, God knows what'll happen to you. It's not that. It's the ennobling or like,

if you read this, it's some of the strongest people. in the Disney parks or fighting battles you never notice from the outside. Dude, everybody's fighting battles. Exactly. Exactly. That's what life is, you stupid. It's battle after battle after battle.

It's like, God. The other thing I think we don't like about this is the implication that everyone else at Disney are bullies. Before these shirts came out, we were like, what, you got diabetes, you piece of shit. You shouldn't be in this park.

Right. And if we don't acknowledge them, you're a piece of shit. Right. Right. They deserve to have special treatment. Yes. Oh, here we go. I've got asthma.

Disney adult with asthma. Parkinson's. Oh, my God. Cerebral palsy. Spina bifida. Sickle cell. God, these are a down syndrome. They deserve.

They deserve. I think that's the right term for the Disney adult. Isn't that their technical term? Yeah. Traumatic brain injury. You know, what else? It's right on the money. Muscular dystrophy.

Oh, my God. Lymphadema. You know, here's what it is. It's like, you're just, you're, I feel like I need to say this. Go ahead. I am a man struggling with diabetes. Oh, my God. Do you know what I go through?

Do you know I have to take Ozempic? Do you know what that's like? I have to inject my, it is awesome. It's the best. But, you know, I'm not going to define myself by a dude with, diabetes or a person with one ball or you know what I mean I know you know what I think this is for this is for people that don't have actual battle loans like you haven't actually been through some shit right like this is their first rendezvous right with bullshit and you're like I survive

erectile dysfunction and you're like I need a t-shirt and a pen it's like okay well hang in there because you're just getting started, bro. Yeah. Life is just a ferris wheel of bullshit. Kids, you know, it's super cute. Like, your kids want a Band-Aid. And even though they don't need the Band-Aid, you know, they still, it makes them feel better.

And it's a badge. It's like you've been injured. And that's true. But that's a kid. That's a kid. Once you've become an adult, that's what it is. You nailed it. This is, oh my God, I got chills.

Yo, we just cracked. Like, first of all, people stress shit in AirPold. I just learned that. And this is an adult band-aid. You're right. It's the acknowledgement that I have suffered. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is, and also, surely our instincts can't be wrong. Like the millions of people out there who recoil when they see shit like this. We're not crazy. Like, there's a, there's, we have to trust our own minds.

And, you know, I'll tell you, dude, if I see somebody with endometriosis at fucking Disney and I've done it before, I will kick your ass. If you have end in, I do. You're not going to stop me. I'll fucking...

You better watch out. If I catch what... Well, there's yours. Well, where's mine? I don't want that. Are these shirts? I need that. I mean, I don't want with.

With it is like you still have it. Oh, yeah, no. In remission. Never getting it again. Disney adult with swollen, aching balls that he's not cutting off. Yeah, did you want to walk around informing everybody what you've got right now? Disney adult with active Ebola. God.

Herpes outbreak. Yeah. Nobody should know. Disney adult festering with herpes. Hi, I'm a Disney adult with a bubonic plague. It's terrible. Wait,

where's the, playomorphic breast cancer? Where's the amorphic? Oh, you got left out. You should reach out to them. I bet you got left out. Where the fuck is amorphic breast cancer?

No, I had pleomorphic, oh, thank God I can't remember it. Ploomorphic carcinoma testicular. How are you doing with that? That just happened. I'm good.

I got my tits reconstructed. I got a fucking tummy tuck. I got a brow lift. They just did a biopsy. I'm cool. Like, bro, I'm like... I know, but the biopsy part. I hated that shit.

You're a badass because like I go... That part of the thing where I have to keep getting checked again and again, that's the part that fuck with my head. But they're putting needles in your beans, right? That's different. In my beans? Like in your bean sack?

Wait, where are they putting the needles? No, they just test. They do blood tests. They weren't putting needles in my bean. Oh. needles in my bean yeah okay you know what I mean

just like that paranoia that can come in well yeah you're gonna die any minute ploomorphic fuck what plciceis is what I had plomorphic lobular carcinoma in C2

and it was a 1% like nobody got it and you were the first person I called you were the first person I call I just blocked that out you were my first phone call I remember yeah I was

That was a really fun conversation. Cancer Club. Cancer Club. We're, where's our fucking t-shirt? Where's our shirt? They got mine. I mean, they... Yours, you would take up a...

Oh, they would take cancer. Yeah! You guys are incredible. How did you do that? Wow. That's the exact font. I know. These boomers are blown away by your fucking ability.

Yeah. We're like, how does that work? Did you use a computer for that? Rock. We made the last. Three, two. Oh, you did you. Dirty, dirty.

So they don't have testicular cancer. Well, they're omitting you. No, they do. We got a right. We got a right. They're not being inclusive enough. Wow. No.

Well, I'm so happy we've fixed this. Listen, I've got my TikToks for you. I'm locked and loaded. Are you ready to do these? This is my favorite part. Okay, because mine too. And I'm looking at the wrong one. I should be looking at this one.

I don't know why I want to look at the one you're looking at. Yeah. You know, as if we don't know, I like to feature the marginalized communities. Yep. On TikTok, here we go. Here you go. This is a rap about Austin, Texas. Austin, Texas and Travis County. The school district is Austin Independent School District. And it's the capital of the great state of Texas. They have one million residents.

And the metropolitan area has 2.61 residents. and millions. They have the Austin Aquarian and Interstate 35 and lots of highways. I love them. The Austin Steam Train Association Museum is located there.

The second street district is there. The Barton Creek Square Mall is going to say Barton Creek. Domain Mall is over there. And they have the Austin Zoo. They also have the Capitol of Texas Zoo.

The Austin Bergstrom. International Airport and the Colorado River goes right through it. The ladybird Johnson wild flowers. You get the picture. It just goes along. It's 10 minutes. You know, here's the thing. That is how I rap.

Like, whenever I try to rap, that's what I sound like. It's hard for me to judge it. I try to do that around my kids and they're like, no, no! I know what you mean. Look how happy he is. He's the best and he does them for other cities, Joe. It's incredible. But let's get him some beats.

Yo, somebody should send him beats that he could do it to. You're mommies, you know what to do. Yeah. I met the saxophone guy, by the way, in Brea. So one time as a joke, I was like, you know what this fucking YMH intro needs? Saxophone. And this guy mailed it in. It was so good.

So you guys know what to do. Somebody put a beat under the Austin, Texas rap guy, please. Yeah. And he doesn't mention, um, Terry Black's barbecue, which I feel like should be like higher on that list. Don't you think like barbecue in general? Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of things I noticed.

He didn't mention. And not to critique, but he missed some important spots. You know, he did. He missed some spots. Jeffries. Jeffries. That's the only spot that I know. He didn't mention Jeffries.

You didn't like Clark's? Clark's, not a mention of that. Not a mention of that. Yeah. The tunnels under Austin. The bodies in the lake. There are bodies in the lake. There are bodies in every lake.

Secret serial killer. So cool. Okay. Well, let's, let's, this is a little dark. Here we go. You and I tend to get existential and dark. Let's lighten it up a little. All right.

Well, I am so tired tonight. I think I'm going to just go on and go to bed for the night. I made my bed up so I could just relax a little bit and then go to sleep. Yeah, good idea. I hope everybody had a great day. Thank you. And everything. Cheers.

And good night. Got you later. Well, here's the creepy thing you don't know. Is that what you're hearing is the person who's captured her and is keeping her trapped in the house and just narrates everything she has to do it. And this is the thing, the thrill that the kidnapper has. Yeah. I'm just going now. looks like I'm going to put my hand on a hot stove.

I'm going to do that real quick. It'd burn my hand. She has to do it. Yeah, that's sad. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're just the loneliest thing anyone ever seen, right? That's what this is. This is it though?

Because, Duncan, like, you felt lonely. You and I do the road. There's no lonelier place than a hotel room. She at least had the emotional, like I isolate and I don't want to talk. I don't want to be seen. Right. She still wants to be seen and heard in her lonely state. I think that that must mean that she's mentally healthier than me.

I'm going to say no. I'm going to say no, she's not. What? I'm going to say she is not as mentally ill. I mean, I don't know. I can't judge this person, but there is something. Can we play it one more time? Let's just do a quick analysis.

Of course, of course. Just breaking. Okay, pause here. Pause here. I think I'm going to do so. She's tired. But see, there's different cuts. Do you know what I mean?

Like the first angle. I'm going to say you're not doing okay because you're doing a lot of setups, right? You're doing a lot of setups. How many setups do we have? Let's count the setups. You got the hallway shot. Can you guys go by? You guys can analyze this better than me because you guys know how to do this stuff.

Oh, my God. Let's count the shots. Let's count the shot. No, you're fucking right. Okay. Shot one. Can you do that from the booth? Okay.

Shot one. Tripod is here. She's going to catch yourself. The framing is weird. You can't see her right arm, but it gets her out of the frame. Okay. Everybody, I'm going in the hallway,

and then I go down. She's set it up first and walked down the hallway. And you have to ask how many takes? How many times are you like, that's not the right walk down, my little and my hall? She did it 20 times. Yeah, at least.

And now, here we go. This is weird, this angle. She's set up, the tripod is set high, pulling the pillows down. You notice the light? That is actually a pro lighting. She's got some kind of shit from Best Buy that she has set up. You could see it.

Because normal people lighting, she would just have some crummy overhead. Right. No. Like muted. So that means that she's like, all right, if I'm going to do these go-to-bed videos, I'm going to have to get real. I'm going to have to look up how Stanley Kubrick do light a room. And so, no, she's definitely something's deranged. Hey, can you do me a favor?

I want you to do a dive on her. Can we find out. other things that she narrate, because she also does other things like, hey, I'm just cooking dinner and that and here's what I'm having for dinner. And can I tell you, I want to judge and I want to laugh. But then I'm like, well, what's going to happen next? What is she going to do? Like, I'm engaged.

I'm riveted. What does the bedroom look like? Yeah. What is she reading? I need to know more. This could be a performance artist. This could be some like incredible sort of critique of modern life as an empty, hellish, world. Yeah, and her nightstand is so free of clutter. Like my nightstand, it's coffee cups,

books, books, books, uh, wipes for my lenses. Like, it's just disgusting. Okay, let's see. What, what, what, which one, which one are you feeling? What's my Friday plans? What's my Friday plans? Okay, let's check it out. What is my Friday night going straight to bed. This is my plans for the night. Yeah. I am so, I'm so. tired. It's time for me to lay down. I'm good night now. I feel like she reused the footage. Like, oh no, wait, but she's wearing a different colored shirt. Did I, by the way, I don't mean to cut this off. No. But it just made me think of this off. I forget, did you get the thing I sent you, the, the woman who thinks that she's

married to Shia LaBeuff? No. How do you say it's LaBuff? Shia LaBoof? LaBoof. LaBoo. Shia Labou. Do you, do you? I put, yeah, I sent it to you. I sent it to And I've sent it to, and I'm starting to think it's, I'm the problem because no one's really responded. But, and I've sent it to many people. That's it. HF campaign. Wait. And this is interesting.

These are new. Stop. This is anomalous. This is anomalous. This is anomalous. Whatever's going on here. Police information release, the tigers. Like, but you'll notice the picture.

It's her with Shia, superimposed. Oh, I didn't even know. Wait, go up. I want to see the profile. She did that. Yeah. How did she do that, Duncan? I think she used the computer.

It's interesting. It says not the public figure, but shows the public figure. So scroll down, you see, I follow her. Scroll down. Oh, oh, she's Muslim. Now play, the hijab she started wearing, like, you can find pre-Hajab. She started wearing the hijab. But just play any of these. They all start the same way.

I show you at 10.03 p.m. June 12th, 26. I just wanted to let you know. I'm at Kroger's grocery store. Oh, Kroger. I love Kroger. My mom ran in to get a few things. And we went, did our grocery shopping, got everything done by 10. We started to shop at 7 a.m.

Oh, that's a little. So I'm going to be going back and making a video around 3 p.m. So I'm thinking about you. I love you, Shaya. Thank you so much. I mean, we have to ask the obvious is, why can't she just send it directly to it? Because he's, he's probably has a restraining order.

Like this is, this woman is stalking shy. And like scroll down. This is why you don't want to be that famous. I want to just. Exactly. Because this is coming your way. Inevitably. You're going to get this.

It's going to keep scrolling. You have cops. Calls from two different people on Facebook. And they're concerned that you might hurt yourself or someone. Oh, dear. It said that you're posting that you're married to Shia LeBubbub. I'm not married to the clone Shai Labuff. There's someone that had their identity stolen named Shia Labuff.

I'm not posting. I'm so sorry, ma'am. That's all you had to say. Oh, I'm sorry. That clears it up. That's all you had to say. I get it. Have a great day, ma'am.

People in regards to Shia LeBuff, the clone, or the celebrity. Oh, the clone. They said there was something about you. They're trying to illegally frame me. Of course. They're trying to illegally frame me and get me in trouble because they're trying to criminally frame me and saying that I'm harassing the celebrity. I'm not harassing the celebrity. It's the clone.

I'm not. There's something very strange going on where my DNA was stolen. Oh. My mother, Deanna, sold my DNA. What's that movement? That was a signal. Did you see what he did? That's a signal.

Something happened with my DNA. Something happened with my husband's DNA. And we're in a very dangerous situation. His name is Shime. No name is Shialabov. It's not the celebrity name Shialabov. It's the clone. It's a good, you're getting confused.

The only thing I need to be concerned about is, are you thinking about hurting you, or anyone else? No. I'm not thinking about hurting anybody. I'm not thinking about hurting anyone. She doesn't sound violent. No. I am in a lot of danger. She's scared.

I'm trying to, uh, I told you I've reported reports in regards to people attempting to try to, to try to hurt me and possibly not make me be alive. There's a ton of things that's happening in regards to the crime that's happening to me. But besides that, no, these people that are reporting are trying to illegally frame me as talking to a celebrity. He's like, he's so bored. He's like, all right. Now, this is the main thing. Can you just scroll down?

There's a fun. Just keep scrolling down. Oh, she's cute. She's a blonde. It's just the quantity of these. Honestly, this is, I do want to say this. So cute. Because I wouldn't be surprised if Shia watches this show.

And I feel like this is a missed love connection. Right? Dude, I didn't even think about that. He might, this, I think if anything is going to help this person connect with Shia, this is it. God damn. Because he's going to see this and be like, oh, look, that's her mom. Check it out. Let's see what I'm saying.

Hi. Hi, Shia. Hi, Shia. It's Doris calling. Hi, Doris. And it's nice to see your picture and know how we're related. So I'll probably see you again. Do you think Doris has any inclination of what's really happening?

No, she seems kind of out of it. And I don't know this for sure because there's so many videos. It's hard to collect everything that's happening. But there is tension between her and her mom. You hear them fighting in some videos and stuff. Oh, no. Well, I haven't seen this one. Great, thank you, looking.

Yep, have a good day. Okay. What the fuck? Duncan, I mean, how did I miss this? I apologize. It's okay. I mean, like, I want you to feel seen and validated and heard because you said that people weren't giving you the credit.

And, like, I fully commend you. Yeah. I'm so inspired by this. I figured you would, it's right. right up your alley. I mean, usually you are the one, I'm finding things from you.

Right. And also, right. Because of your content, your content trains my algorithm. You know what I mean? If you just go through your stuff, your algorithm will suddenly start giving you the craziest shit.

You know, I've heard this from people. People that follow me or watch my stories of that nature. Yeah. I've heard this. It's the best. It's the best. I'm not sure.

people would get her. Dude, one of my friends started sending me, like, videos of crazy people and was like, why did it suddenly start showing me crazy people? I want to say you and on Christina's Graham, right? I don't know, but look, all I know is that somebody will be like, hey, have you seen, like, I have, like, one normie friend. And, like, she's like, oh, my God, have you seen that trend on TikTok queen, getting the dance on the everyone's wearing tutus?

And I was like, no, dude. You don't understand how dark I am Like I don't know anything normal I didn't know what a fucking Laboubu was Right That is wild But I know about the vampire Lestat I knew the new series is coming out

Yeah Lestat You know about the horny cowboy The horny cowboy You have Your eye is glued To this new technological people Which shows us how absolutely insane

The world has become You're just looking through this people into the future. I know. Everyone's melting down. And, you know, the other thing is, you know, normally it's a contagion because, like, somebody's watching, like, this video of this, the lady, whoever this lady is, the lady who, like, films herself going to bed.

And they're like, look at how many views she's getting. Oh, yeah. I'm going to do that. Yeah. And it spreads. It spreads. That's, this is the gift of meta. Yeah.

Yeah. I love that. I could watch this. I could watch this endlessly. In fact, I do. I like this. I can watch over any normal. What did I see?

I saw this stupid Star Wars movie yesterday with the kids. What a bunch. It was so, first of all, the Mandalorian and the grog, the Greg. The thing is, the Mandalorian, I like the character, but he wears a helmet that covers his face the whole time. So the lead character, is that, you don't even see the guy's mouth or nothing? Like, what kind of acting is this?

I can't, there's no emotion. It's bullshit. Is it even the actor? It could be anybody in the helmet. Anybody in the helmet. You can tell they totally did that because he's not, okay. And then the little Yoda guy,

he doesn't talk either. So now I've got two main characters. The movie is about two characters. One who wears a full fucking facial helmet. And then a little thing that doesn't talk. The Yoda doesn't talk? No. He doesn't speak.

He's like, like he's like a gremlin. And which is rad. But like, guys, somebody has to emote and speak in this fucking movie. It's ridiculous. And then they all have a monotone delivery. I don't know if that's a like a choice.

Is that like a character? This is Pedro Pascali, whatever. He's the Mandalorian. What? Pedro Pascall. He's great. Think how expensive it is to book that guy. You're going to put a helmet on his sweet ass?

That's what I'm saying. Show me this fucking pun on. Give me a fucking break. You're going to cover that hunk up? Thank you. But the thing is, so he's acting. It's very muted because I don't know. Why? His thing is like, we have to leave the place immediately. We're going to be killed.

That's how he talks the whole. Are any dorks in there that can tell me why the Mandalorian talks like that? Any nerds? Isn't, I'm so sorry. Oh, thank God. I was going to fire whoever answered that question. I'm sorry. Is the Mandalorian BobaFat? Shut up. Is that dude? Bobifat's black. No, I know, but aren't, doesn't, don't they wear this? I'm so, I should never have said that. This is going to come back. You realize the Star Wars community is, furious with us right now. We've already talked shit about Labibu's Disney adults and now I just said the Mandalorian

it's Boba Fett. I'm done. It's over. Canceled. Didn't know. The Mandalorian and Boba Fett are two completely different characters. Thank God. Are you so embarrassed? You fucking idiot. Why didn't you fucking know that? You stupid? I don't know. I've been under a lot of pressure

lately, man. I got endometriots, man. You need to put your shirt on and go to Disney. All right. I got a few more to You have time for me? I do. Okay, I love you. Okay, here we go.

Here we go. So you think telling me to be fucking nicer is really going to get you somewhere? You got the devil now. Oh, no. I'm nice compared to what she's going to be. You keep screwing with me. Dude, I'm terrified. Fucking terrifying.

She's about to unleash that lady. Yeah. God, zoom in on that face. Can you zoom in on that fucking face? Let's see that face, that demon. Look at that look. She's wearing Christina Peas perfect red, which is lovely. Thank you so much for representing my lipstick.

Looks good. Can you zoom in? Look at those earbooks. Is there those earbuds? I hate when the com drops. I hate when people wear those. I do too. Take them off.

I do too, especially for this video. It's not hoping you look sinister. Wow. Again, much like the guy that's in the blood pool, like if you're going to commit, commit. Yeah. What happened? You guys can make phony posters.

You can't fucking zoom in on the demon girl. Put the picture in your computer and you should be able to zoom in. Computer. Oh my God. Those aren't earbutt. What is that shit in her ear? Those aren't earbuds. That's holding her ear on.

That's a clip. It's a staple. Well, she looks terrifying. She's got my makeup on right now. I swear I think my makeup is exactly the same as her. today. She's a, she, would you say she's pretty, she's very attractive. I think the eyebrows are a little dark. I wouldn't have put them in black. Yeah. She just needs a different brow pencil color. Yeah. But I mean, she's smoking, dude. What do you think about her, um, um, I make up? I literally,

I literally have the same shit on right now. Like, I'm wearing black kind of winged. I see. I make up too and like a red lip. So I can't really shit on that. I think she's great. I'm, I'm, can we zoom out, zoom back a little bit? And, and, and, you know. kind of watch her one more time. I wish you would say who this person was. I know. That's a problem with these, these private videos where it's just a message to one person.

It's like, well, what's the whole story? Fuck. All right. Oh, are you doing something? Nice try. Nice try. You think telling me to be fucking nicer is really going to

get you somewhere? You got the devil now. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, shit. I'm nice compared to what she's going to be. You keep screwing with me. Fuck. Dude, I wouldn't mess with that, bitch.

I wouldn't mess. I would not sleep anymore if I saw that. That's terrifying. She's so scary. I can't. I can't. I can't. Okay, here we go.

Um, here. Oh, shit. It's so much. It's so much. It's so much. What is he doing with that scene? That's a perfect video. Can you play it one more time?

These videos, they're not long enough. It's perfect. It's a beautiful video. There's so much to know. There's so many questions here, Duncan. Yeah. Why the choice to wear a polo shirt in the pool? And it's buttoned all the way up.

Okay. First, I think your definition of pool is not my definition of pool. That is... Sure. That's like a, can we zoom out a little bit on that thing? Because it's not a pool. He could have easily been in some kind of cryogenic. He could have been cryogenically frozen in that shirt.

And it melted. And he's just waking up for the first thing. That's true. We didn't think of the full potential. Oh, that's a tiny box. You're right. He was cryogenically frozen and he just woke up. Yeah.

Dude. He's been resurrected. He used to be in parliament or something and they froze him. And now he's emerging. to save the world. That's so rad that he caught that, though. Like, you know, when you come out of anesthesia or surgery, like I wish I could see what I look like.

That's so rad that he could see himself coming out of cryo-phrase. It's historic. Where is he? What a beautiful place. No. It's crazy, like, when you're in a beautiful tourist place like that, you have no idea that there's, like, a black dude in a polo shirt sitting in a freezer with water.

But now you can know. And that's the best part of TikTok is, like, now you can know exactly how mentally ill. The world is. Oh, this one's pretty cool. Tell me, you mentioned putting your penis in a fan. Yeah. At the Wilbur, you're going to be doing the Wilbur Theater June 27th.

That's right. Consider booking this as your opener. Okay. It's only about 10 minutes longer. Okay. You get the gist. Isn't this guy, I think I've stumbled upon him because of you, but isn't he kind of like, he considers himself a sound designer or something?

You nailed it. You nailed it. And you should appreciate this. It's, that's what sucks about it. Because it's like if you don't appreciate how great this is. Can you imagine how long it took him to come up with something that detail that, I mean, it goes on and on and on. To script it. I want to read the script.

How do you write out those sounds? Let's give it another. Oh, wow. Okay. He's coming down now. He's resting. It's building up. Wow.

This is basically, this is homeless guy music, right? Doesn't this sound like every homeless person? It does. That is the sound. That's the sound that gets you into your car faster. Shit, fuck, fuck, fuck. I'll call you back. I'll call you back.

And you can't look. This is you getting to your car from the comedy store. Do you like that little, Fuck, dude, who we're done? Motherfucker, and if you look, that's how they get you. Don't make eye contact. If you turn and look as you should, they're like, what? Stupid piece of shit?

Something bothering you? Why'd you look at me? It's the worst. I think that's why this doesn't vote. It triggers that feeling of fear and anxiety in me. Maybe I don't get it what he's doing, but. It's homeless guy anxiety. It's basically just, this is probably some kind of workshop for homeless people who want to get better at their fucking satanic jibber.

And dude, this is why I'm looking forward to drone technologies. And I know a lot of people are going to say I'm Machiavelli in here. Okay. But it is completely feasible, thanks to the good people at Palantir, that we could theoretically have drones stationed on buildings that tune into that sound. Sure. and just fly down and carry them away. Oh, that's amazing. Wouldn't that be incredible?

I wish. Just carry them away. You see them. You hear that sound and then you're like comforted because you hear the of a drone coming and just carries them off into the mountains or something. Why do we have to, it sucks. It happened the other day. Check it into a hotel with the errand and the baby.

Wait, but do you think as a homeless person, if you had to choose your environment, the mountains. I mean, I get why they go to the beach. Like, who doesn't love the beach? Yeah. But I didn't even think about the mountains. That's really cool. Carry him to the mountains.

Carry him up to the mountains. You could watch it. I'm thinking, Montana, there's a lot of land up there that nobody's using. Here's the good news. Thanks to my friends at Palantir, you don't have to think about stuff like that. You're just going to look up and you're going to see like somebody being carried away by a drone. And that's it. They'll take them to the mountains.

They're not really taking them. They're not taking them to the mountains. Take the... I don't worry about where they're taking them. Not the mountains. That's kind of what happened here in Austin. Like when we moved here, there were so many more homeless. And not here like, what happened?

What happened? They're in the mountains. Is it keeping you up at night? Yes. Where'd they go? Absolutely. I'm super worried. I've been, I'm like, you know, this is like my hobby.

I'm kind of like, I've been trying to find out where they all went. did you and Kurt figure it out. Not yet. It's a mystery. You got to figure it out on your show. We're going to find them and we're going to bring them back. Oh no, no, no, no.

We will find them and return them to Austin. Austin's most precious resource. It's ridiculous. These fascist fucks taking the weird at Austin. Keep Austin weird, baby. We're going to bring them back. Bring the homeless back. You got to run on this.

People are going to love this. People are trying to raise money. Go to bring them back. bring them back on we're doing a Kickstarter it's good it's like we're tracking them we're trying to find out where they where they've gone we will return them will you track well you put trackers under their skin we do like your cat like when you get your cat chipped your dog yeah homeless people chipped so you can keep we chip them we have videos of it it's there's some it's beautiful you know we we we tranquilize them and then we get in there and

get a chip on them and track them to see where they're going they love it they love being shipped. I mean, they love it. They do. They love it. And what's really nice is that they get all that space. There's a lot of space in Texas that's underutilized. A lot of mountains. Desert mountains. So much space. Okay. This has been so much fun. We'll close on this last tech talk. Bring the homeless back to Austin. Bring them back. We're bringing them back. The other day, I was walking with my kid and he's like, dad, right around here used to step on human shit. What happened? I thought we were keeping Austin weird. That's what inspired me.

I'm like, we're going to bring him back. We're going to bring them back. Bring them back. I get locked in a cage to sleep at night. What happens if there's a fire. When I'm sleeping under Mrs. Bed, this is the lock we use. Knock we use.

When I'm in my sleep cage under the stairs, we keep beside panel unlocked. And using a real lock is a sometimes thing. Sometimes truth. Communication, constant check-ins and supervision. Sounds fun. Yeah, that's the worst. I've ever seen. That's a fucking fraudulent fashion gimp.

We hate gimp. You're not a gimp. You'll never be a gimp. A true gimp. You know what they don't ask? What happens if there's a fire? Duh. No real gimp. This kind of safety gimpery, it's an embarrassment. He's not even wearing a gimp outfit. You're not in a cage if you can get out. Period. Yo, it's like your dog's crate. Like if your dog had hands, it could just reach and then just unlatch it. Like there's no danger. There's no room. Oh.

It's a room with bars. If you can get out of it, you're not in a cage. Yeah, this guy's fucking fraudulent. He's a, he's a poser gimp. It's an entire, you know what? Happens if, gimp, if my gimp asked me, what happens if there's a fire, which they definitely wouldn't. We had their teeth removed and half their tongue. But if they asked me that, I'd be like, you'll burn.

You burn to death. Yeah, that's the point of being somebody's gimp. Yeah. You're meant to just like, it makes your dick super hard, and that's the priority is staying aroused sexually, even if it is dangerous to your being, right? Get your priority straight. Thank you. This is an embarrassment. This really is upsetting to me, just the aesthetic, the thing, it's like, dude, you're sleepy cage.

Fuck you. You're sleepy cage. Oh, and look, he's the nerve to call himself hooligan. Shut the number 87. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. fucking bitch. Just a, this is absolutely, you know what people like him are doing?

They're making gimps. America's gimps are weak. And I don't want to go boomer here. But the gimps, the new Gen Z gimps, they're like this. They don't even put on the leather, the inflatable. So for those of you who might not really understand a gimp, can you please bring up an image? Like, I'm talking like 90s, Sanford. Francisco Gimp.

This is the kind of shit you would see. Like during like... There's a real Gimp. A Wednesday. That's a Gimp. Yeah. This is Folsom Street Fair. Like you would just see these psychos.

Yeah. These are GIMS. That's the aesthetic. Yeah. These are GIMs. I agree. That's what a gimp is. That's what a gimp has always been.

Yeah. And look, can you pull up the one you pulled the caged gimp just so people see this? Yeah. That's how you sleep. You're going to burn. If the house burns down, you're burning with it. Yeah, dude. I don't have time to.

unshackle you gimp you're lucky to be in my cage and like what a pussy he's worried about like fuck off who cares your dick is hard and that's all that matters constant communication that's when you take out their tongue you're like shut the fuck up why are you talking why are you talking you could you know or well here's what's crazy about it like sometimes like an untrained gimp will take their bean can and bang it into the bar that happened to us and in in it dude you tolerated that yeah how did they get their hands on the bean can yeah this is the problem because we got a gimp sitter and honestly we're in and they were giving him bean cans you never fucking do that i said just don't feed him for a couple of days he'll be fine so but he they did that

and they left the bean can and then when we got um he started tick tick tick tick tick tick Tick, Tick, horrible. Horrible. So, yeah, we, you know,

we did, easy fix. We got another can of beans. Yeah. And we put in that can of beans, I won't say

the exact ingredients, but let's just say, he fell asleep for a long time. Because that's what you have to do. Once they start, it's like when a dog starts sucking eggs, when a gimp starts banging a can,

you're not going to stop. No. This guy is weak, weakening America's gimp. He's not even in latex. I hate that he gets to wear a fabric. That's how you should look. That's what you, yeah.

Harness. Your balls are tied up with a chain, a lock. You've got a face mask on, but you can't breathe. Like that's the essence of this. And I do want to give a shout out to Metal Bond NYC, gay male bondage training. These guys are doing the Lord's workout out there. You know, we are living in a much busier time. And like I'm not proud of it, but we don't have time to, like, train up our gims like I used to.

but these guys I couldn't give them a higher rating I've sent unruly gimps to them and they come back tip top shit you guys you heard him go to yelp give them five star review let them know yeah this is great look at this see what's happening there it's so great can you can we can we see the training program

the training by the new york master oh wow I didn't realize metal bond he's great now look gimp training within gimp look these are this is That's what you're looking for. That's what I need. Oops, I don't know.

You are going to show that. No, that'll be blurred out. Yeah, you need somebody a professional. You're right, because who's got time? Look at that. Perfect, perfect. And it is amazing how relaxing it is after a hard day's work to stretch out on your camp. Of course.

Why else do you get one? And you don't want constant communication. You're watching a fucking show. Yeah, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Mommy's watching the view. What if there's a fire? you

fuck that that's not how we roll so good dude chirp this guy's name's what is this guy official ambassador what is that go back to the poser gimp poser gimp

yeah chip what's his fucking name chirp chirp yeah he's constant check-ins and supervision he's a child this generation grow up

yeah I didn't mean to end on the neck I mean, not. No, no. Look, you gave, this is positive. We're telling people, we're sending people where to go to train their gamble, which I think is cool. Right, right, right, right. So there is a way to, I don't think that chirp is good.

There's much you could do with that, but I don't know, maybe. Maybe there's hope. That'd be kind of cool. Maybe they would offer a scholarship or you could go up there and like. A scholarship. Yeah. Oh, wow. Now you're talking.

Learn to learn to, learn to, learn to, learn to fucking obey. Shut the fuck up. Check out mystery boys. New episodes drop every Thursday, 8 p.m. Central on YM.H. Studios. Go see Duncan at Zanies, June 25th, 27th of June. He's at the Wilber Theater. Your mother is coming to London, July 22nd, at the Leicester Square Theater. So cool. Get your tickets right now at ChristinaP.com. Duncan, this was, I so badly needed this. I just laughed my tits off this whole time. Thank you. Please come back. Will you come back soon? Anytime. I'll come back anytime you want. This is the best. No, this is the best. I've had so much fun with you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks for educating all of us. We need what you're showing the world. The world needs you. The world needs this. They need to see the truth. It does. Thank you so much. We're doing God's work.

All right, guys. Until next time, keep your jeans high and tight. Love you, Mommy's. Bye. Miam, meow, mommy. Hello, excuse me. Can I talk to you? Please, girl. feels like fucking hell without a girlfriend. Just because I got a bald head and I'm horny doesn't make me a bad person. You get into like fucking straight up fucking songs, you know. Yeah.

Only want to think about her every day and every night, girl. You're going to be the most important person in my life, girl. We're going to be lovers I for some. Girl, fuck what others think of us. There's nothing wrong with being horny. Everyone's different. It's part of life. It's part of life, girl.

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