Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - We Were Trapped! | Your Mom's House Ep. 843

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

SPONSORS: - Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. - New Customers Bet $5 Get $300 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my ...promo code MOM. #DKPartner - Plans start at $15/month at http://MintMobile.com/MOM. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/ymh This week on Your Mom’s House, Tim joins the show through the magic of the internet as the main mommies dive headfirst into Bad Thoughts production, introducing the boys to The Terminator movies, and some Arnold impressions. Things escalate quickly with a wild opening clip of a very public call out of something very private, followed by a call to action for any and all "throat goats". Tom and Christina also unpack the Trapped in the Caribbean chaos, which included a TMZ story hotel horror stories, steel drums, and a week of no YMH episode. They also deep dive into Mike Fedele’s extremely online lifestyle of boats, flexing, humping, and Gen-Z failures. Also in this episode Safety Larry’s situational-awareness book, threats from a nude man in shoes, pet safety clips, stranger danger, eye pokes, Mantak Chia energy, pot debates, hippie hatred, garbage-dump parenting, mafia waste management history, body-disposal hypotheticals, and kids talking trash. Buckle up, jeans, we're fuggen BACK! Your Mom’s House Ep. 843 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $300 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Token expires 2/1/26. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 1/25/26 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:32 - Showing The Boys Terminator 00:09:59 - Opening Clip: Digging In Yo Shit 00:17:18 - Clip: Calling All Throat Goats 00:20:42 - Stranded In Paradise 00:30:04 - Mike Fedele 00:37:22 - More Safety Tips With Larry 00:44:34 - Clip: Stranger Danger 00:45:38 - Clip: Grab Those Testicles 00:47:37 - Will Blunderfield + Mantak Chia 00:50:17 - Pot Discourse 00:55:18 - Field Trip At The Dump 01:04:13 - Clip: Trash Talking White Kid 01:06:43 - Closing Song - "Daddio's Patio (Feat. Cutter Tha Killer Klown) by Celador Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:01 Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Mercy is coming to theaters this Friday. This is the Mercy Corps powered by artificial intelligence. Detective Raven, you're charged with the murder of your wife. I'm not guilty. You have 90 minutes. To prove it. Or you will be executed.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Experience an immersive thrill ride. Every camera and cell phone is at your disposal. In IMAX. Can I see my daughter's socials? You hear that? Someone was in my basement. Chris Pratt. Maybe she found something she wasn't supposed to.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Rebecca Ferguson. You must move from one piece of the puzzle to the next. I have something there. Oh my God. Mercy, rated PG-13, may be inappropriate for children under 13. Only in theaters, Friday. Oh, I'm sorry. Which camera?
Starting point is 00:00:43 Oh, that's me. Is that me? Hi. Hi, welcome to your mom's house. I was just reading my favorite book, sexual situational awareness and safe family travel strategies. Through the magic, the magic of technology, I am here with my co-host, Tim Seguera.
Starting point is 00:01:06 is coming from L.A., everybody. Tim. Thank you. We miss you. What are you doing? Just chilling, dog, you know? Just wanted a little Pacific air. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:01:19 Pacific air. I'm on the West Coast, best coast with a packed host, and I decided to just come out here and get a little fresh air, and that's what I'm doing. We miss you. So we're in prep.
Starting point is 00:01:31 We are in prep on season two of bad thoughts. It is so, crazy so crazy how much goes into because i mean i know i did it last year too but i think there's this thing where there was so much mystery you know of like what do you do that you're kind of the days fly by differently and this year we're doing it in l.a and now it's just like you just see all the tasks that have to be done and you're like holy shit it's just so It's so much, you know, from like costume meetings, art department meetings, special effects meetings, casting sessions, you know, writer sessions,
Starting point is 00:02:15 like on and on and on and on. And it's just a lot of work. And we start production in a few days. So we start shooting the scenes soon. And it's going to be, it's a lot. But I mean, that being said, I am very excited to do it. Very excited. Well, it's your favorite thing in the whole world, I think, making the show.
Starting point is 00:02:34 It's so goddamn fun. I can't believe they let us do it. It's one of those things. You know, like every time we hand in scripts, we kind of are like, all right, let's see what they say. And then we have these meetings where they're like, loved it. It's amazing. Really? Yeah, it's great.
Starting point is 00:02:55 I'm like, cool. Yeah, they've been so supportive. I mean, they've given us notes, but not the kind of notes that you think. it's never really about this is too there's one i guess i'll talk about it more when it comes out where somebody and our staff was like this is a like i think it's a crime to even say this like this is a really horrible thing to say i think we should like you can get persecuted yeah they're like this is i'll be able to explain it more but they're like you can't say this you can't do this and i was like that's the fun of the show though the show is say the worst thing
Starting point is 00:03:33 and do the worst thing. So we should lean into it. And they were like, okay. And then we talked to the network and they were like, yeah, great. That's awesome. They're like, it's great. So it's fun. It's fun. It is lonely out here. We love you. Yeah. I mean, I miss, you know, miss you guys, miss the fam, miss all of it. But thankfully, it's so much work that you kind of just get distracted by that, you know. Yeah, we know. And the kids and I miss you. you so much. And I'm coming home. Thank God. For how long? How long can you stay? A couple days. Oh, thank God. Well, just so you know what you're getting into, I started showing the boys the Terminator movies. And the first one, they lost their minds, especially that part.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Terminator. Oh, my God. Because first of all, Julian now is officially seven years old. And he's like, I don't want to watch any PG bullshit. I don't want any G movies. He's always that. He's like, you treat me like I'm a fucking kid. He gave me pajamas with dogs and rockets on him. It's like, I prefer a fucking baby. I'm like, okay.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Pajamas. Oh, yeah. He's also made it so that I have to throw out all the clothes that have baby things on them like that. And he only wears suits. Like last night, your mom and Jane came over for dinner. And he put on a velvet suit to just. sit in our house and eat dinner. That's where he's at.
Starting point is 00:05:03 So they love The Terminator. The first one, they loved it when Schwarzenegger was digging his robot eye out, like, where it's beady red for the first time you see it. And they were like, oh, shit. I'm like, now we're at T2. Julian laughs maniacally when Arnold kills people. Like, it's not meant to be funny, but your son is like. It's not that so humorous, no.
Starting point is 00:05:28 It's not supposed to be. And then he loves when he's in the first movie when Schwarzenegger says, Fuck you, asshole. He really liked that. You've been saying not around the house a lot. Well, he said it on the phone yesterday to me. So I was kind of like, huh, that's an interesting way to greet your dad. He goes, fuck you, asshole.
Starting point is 00:05:47 I was like, what? And you're like, we're watching The Terminator. I was like, oh, okay. And I like how they're to me, they're like, how do you do the accent so well? I'm like, 50, dude. I've been listening to Schwarzy talk my whole life. It's the best. Yeah, we all have.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Yeah. He has one of those accents where I remember being young and hearing impressionists do it, and you're like, whoa. Yeah. And the older you get, everybody can do it. Everybody. Like every adult can do his accent. I'll be back.
Starting point is 00:06:18 And those lines are so iconic. The kids even know them. I guess they have them in their video games or something. People are still using. Oh, that's a totally iconic line. And then if you watch that Arnold documentary, you learn that that he misspoke when he said that. Really? So the script, yeah, the script said something else.
Starting point is 00:06:37 The script said, like, I will be back or, you know, some version of that. So he said, I'll be back. And then cut, and he's like, oh, sorry to James Cameron. Like, I misspoke. And James Cameron said, no, say it like that again. Say I'll be back again. And Arnold was like, no, no, no, I can do it. I'll do it as it was in the script.
Starting point is 00:07:02 And James Cameron goes, how about you worry about muscles and I'll worry about what to say? I hope you get like that on your set of bad thoughts with your actors. Yeah. Yeah, the original line. So, yeah, scripted as I'll come back. It's amazing. I'll be back.
Starting point is 00:07:20 And that became iconic in his face. And he even looks like a robot. And his body is just ridiculous. The kids love it. When they land naked, when the Terminator's land naked, they think that's the coolest thing ever. It's so good. Well, he, man, that physique, you know, that was seven-time Mr. Olympia. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Like, there's, that's the benchmark of like the perfect male physique. It's crazy. I know. And then I tell them, I'm like, yeah, that guy was born in nowhere, Austria. And then he becomes a bodybuilder. And then he becomes Mr. Olympia, work. or whatever, moves to L.A. And then he becomes a movie star, arguably, like, one of the most famous of all time.
Starting point is 00:08:03 And then he becomes the governor of California. And they were like, what? Yeah. It's crazy. He's an amazing guy. I remember, too, that, you know, my dad was a competitive Olympic lifter. And when you're a kid, I think you're more visual, right? You're like, the aesthetic is what's crazy.
Starting point is 00:08:25 So all we had was, like, weightlifting. trophies all over the house and weights and photos of weight my dad in weightlifting competitions and i remember being little and you're so mesmerized by arnold and i was like why don't you look like him like you lift all these weights he was like what i go jeez look at him looks amazing why don't you look harder he's a body vulter okay those guys are gay i'm an olympic lifter i was like what i didn't understand it. I was like, just try to look like that, dude. That's fucking awesome. I was always mad that my dad had an accent,
Starting point is 00:09:06 but the shitty Hungarian one, not the cool Austrian one that Arnold had. My dad kind of sounds like him, but I'm never the good European. I'm always the dirty kind, you know? Same dude. Same dude. Same, bro. What kind of Latin did you want to be?
Starting point is 00:09:24 No, you just wanted to be like, You always want to be something sexier, you know? Yeah. Like, we're from Peru. And you're like, Peru. I know. What the fuck is Peru? Yeah, be like either
Starting point is 00:09:39 Argentine or like Italian or Spain. Spain would have been cool because it's European. Yeah, I was always like, oh, Peru. Lamas and cocaine. Yeah. What else? Macchipch. Machu.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Yeah. Who cares? At least you have that. One of the, what is it, one of the seven, eight wonders of the world is much? What, Hungarians have? The Vatsi Utsa, the Danube, Dracula. We don't even have Dracula. Dracula's in Romania.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Strict immigration laws. Yeah. Hungos have that. No, we claim the old empire. That's what they talk about all the time. Oh, right. Used to be the Austrian Empire. The Turks butt fucked us.
Starting point is 00:10:24 You want to start the show? Oh my gosh, I can't believe we can do this. Magic. Here we go. Here you go. If I'm digging in your shit deep and you can't take it. Don't grab a pillow and hide your face. Uh-uh.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Now I want to see it. Yeah, I want to see your face taking this pipe. Don't hide it. I don't like secrets. Who is red? Secrets. Secrets. Sir.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Oh. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Yum. Mew. So I don't like secrets. This guy. I got to tell you, this is one of the few that made me uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:11:55 God. Well, he's got the terrible angle. Terrible angle. He's in his car. I feel like his voice is deep, but he's doing that thing where you shifted to go deeper. Like you can make it deeper. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:12:08 but then like, is this supposed to be a public message? Like, this is your message to the world? Because it feels like it's intended for someone. Like, I don't know that this needs to be in the public forum. Well,
Starting point is 00:12:21 he says he doesn't like secrets. He doesn't like secrets And I believe him Because he's telling us his deepest stuff From his car Yeah, I want to see your face taking this pipe Ugh I want to see your face taking this pipe
Starting point is 00:12:35 Yeah, who is this for? This is for one What? It's crazy This is for one other This is for one lady Right? Is this for a lady?
Starting point is 00:12:52 Of course it's for a lady Of course, you say that It could be for a man This is for a lady. No, this guy's not. He's not. Come on. Don't disrespect him like that.
Starting point is 00:13:02 What? No, no, it's not for me. I was waiting for the question. No. Let's take a second to talk about sleep because Helix has completely changed the mattress game. I used to wake up several times a night, whether it was from back pain, being too hot, or feeling Tom, make even the slightest movement. It was a total nightmare. So much so that it was a lot of.
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Starting point is 00:14:23 Big thanks to Draft King Sportsbook for sponsoring this podcast. New customers bet $5 for the chance to get $300 in bonus bets if your bet wins. We're entering the thick of playoff madness. The best teams will be going head to head and somebody's season will end this Sunday. College basketball is in full conference play. The NBA's heating up as we head toward the All-Star break. And NHL's got games going on all week. It's prime time for betting on every sport. Especially football. The next great touchdown is coming and Draft King's sportsbook is the place to put money on it. If a drive starts looking good, jump in and bet live as it's happening. Then throw some bonus bets on a same game parlay, stack a few player props, and add a team total for a massive potential payout. New customers turn five bucks into 300 if your bet wins, paid in bonus bets.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Just sign up using the promo code, Mom. That's M-O-M. The Crown is yours. NBA League Pass Auto Renews until canceled. Additional terms at dkng.g.com slash audio limited time offer. Do you also, would you agree that this is not for, this, he's putting this for ladies? Yes, I hope so.
Starting point is 00:16:05 How do you know? I just, you know, a man can pray. All right, I hope so. I have to tell you that since we've been watching these clips, I have been now turned on by gay men having sex with each other. And in my heart, I'm... Fucking Christ. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:16:24 I'm out now. It's YMH exclusive. I've never enjoyed it in my whole life. But since we've been playing all these gay porn clips, I'm into it. Like I feel something. You know that's like a very, that's a very, no, this is a big thing that a lot of straight women say, claim that they watch gay porn. This is a known thing. And I know.
Starting point is 00:16:49 And I had a friend who did, and I would make fun of her. for years and years and years and now, I don't know what it is. I've changed. You're watching it? No. You're watching gay porn. No, I mean, just here at work, but not at home.
Starting point is 00:17:03 Just at my job. Okay. No, I've asked, I've asked, too. I'm like, what are you talking about? How could you, and they're like, oh, they're better looking. They have better physiques. And it's just, and it's just, it's all men. So they get off on it, I guess.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Now I get it. And I used to like watching girls make out more because I maybe was more of a lesbian, but now I'm a gay man. And I think I love... What the fuck? Yeah. Okay. What is that? Well, you know, sexuality is fluid.
Starting point is 00:17:37 We know this. This is well known. Sexuality is fluid. What am I if I'm a straight lady that likes gay porn? Is there a, what am I? You're a gay man. You're a gay man now? You've always been a gay man.
Starting point is 00:17:50 You're a handsome gay man. I feel like it. I'd love to be a handsome gay man. They figured life out. They're fantastic. Anyway, I'm hoping this is for a gentleman, because I'd like to see the next video. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:07 I follow this. You know what I mean? I got another brother we've got something to say. Calling all throat goats. Calling all throat goats. This fucking guy. You know the ones. They just farted.
Starting point is 00:18:19 and coughing and wheeze it, spitting. Yeah, if you're a throat goat, if you can eat it, if you're a professional expert eater, I think I might have 200 for you. That's cool. Yeah, I mean, you know what I like about this? This guy's officially one of the coolest guys.
Starting point is 00:18:39 I feel like we'd ever. I don't think he gets his credit for his level of cool. No. But see, some of these cool guys, they'll be like, you liked it. and they give out their number and you're like, at least he has the self-respect to say, and I got some money for you.
Starting point is 00:18:58 Correct. He's not just being like, do you want to blow me, this spectacular specimen that I am? He's like, are you good at it? I might have $200 for you. So he's willing to pony up. He is pony as he should.
Starting point is 00:19:12 And it looks as though he has money, because is that his sauna? Is he laying in? Are those his Oakley's? Yeah, it's fucking. rad is that his sauna what is he sitting in it looks like that's a I think that's the headboard of a 1987 style bed 200 dollars for the throat goat but if she is the throat goat I think it's worth more than 200 if she's the greatest of all time and this is what the marketplace is all
Starting point is 00:19:43 about it's about supply and demand it's about making an offer negotiating that might be his opening offer, you know? She can be like, I'm the greatest. Not 200's not going to do it. The greatest. Wasn't there a girl in music videos that was known for being that? The Video Vixen. There's a few ladies that have, yeah, yeah. There's some ladies that claim that they're the best, you know. Yeah. But 200's not going to motivate them. I'll tell you that. The Video Vixen is a woman featured prominently in hip hop and R&B videos or feel ability to attract tension often. Oh, this is it. This is it. This is it. It was a book.
Starting point is 00:20:20 Oh, her name was Corrine Steffens. Confessions of a video vixen, which detailed exploitation abuse in the industry's dark sign. She's ahead of her time. Yeah. She was like, I'll tell you some shit. Want to talk some shit?
Starting point is 00:20:33 Yeah. Call me. I bet some horrible things happen to her, though. Horrible things. Well, I hope she at least made money off the book. Poor woman. Well, she's cute. That is a wild thing, though,
Starting point is 00:20:45 to be like, I'm the greatest blowjob giver of all time. I don't know if you want that to be your legacy, you know? I don't think that's a claim you want to put out there. You can keep that between you and whoever you're with. Right. You don't need it to be like your identity, you know. That's her identity. She's like, like, I want you to know.
Starting point is 00:21:03 First and foremost, before you know anything else about me, I can suck dicks really well. Yeah, that's crazy. That's a wild thing to lead with. We should also address the fact that, you know, we were abroad during the holidays. We were overseas. Ting-tong, ting-tong. And when we were actually... Locked up abroad.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Yeah, we were in the Caribbean. We were out there doing our thing and stuff like that. And enjoying ourselves. And we made a video. This is pretty interesting. We made a video because if you guys recall when this happened, when we were over the holidays, when we were on vacation, is when the United States went into Venezuela and they were like,
Starting point is 00:21:53 we want your oil. I mean, you're a bad guy. And they took Maduro out, and he and his wife. And this operation led to airspace being shut down. So what ended up happening is we were going to be home and to record a podcast episode. And we ended up getting stuck because the airspace kept getting shut down. while we were doing that, our lovely staff was like, hey, could you just record a video so that we can post it about why there's no podcast this week, right? And we recorded it.
Starting point is 00:22:27 It was just to be like, hey, this is why there's no podcast. And then somehow, after we did that, like, I get messages from people, hey, you're on TMZ. I'm like, what? I start getting text from people in high school. People I went to high school with, who I haven't spoken to in years, they're like, you okay? I'm like, what are you talking about? Our agent was like, hey, I saw you guys on TMZ. You guys are still there? I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:22:51 And I think some people thought that we were just informing the world of our whereabouts. I was like, this is just for our podcast audience, dude. Like, we're just saying why there's no episode this week. So anyway, we got stuck there and people are like, oh, boo-hoo, which I made a mockery of in the video. I realize nobody's going to be like, I feel so bad for you. What sucked wasn't being stuck in the Caribbean. What sucked is that they would go, all right, you can leave now. Like your flight's going to take off in a couple hours.
Starting point is 00:23:29 So you get all your shit, grab your luggage, get a vehicle, grab your kids, go to the airport. And you go to the airport and they're like, guess what? You're not leaving. And you're like, why? Because the airspace got shut down again. You're like, oh, cool. So you get all your stuff, load in a car, go to a hotel, check into that hotel, you know, do the whole thing again.
Starting point is 00:23:49 You get a phone call. Guess what? A plane got the rights to come in, and they said you guys can be on that flight, so you're going to leave in about two hours. You're like, all right. So you grab all your shit and go back to the airport. And they're like, just kidding, you can't. And you're like, all right. That was the part that wasn't being in the Caribbean.
Starting point is 00:24:05 And also, to your credit, to be fair, I don't think you understand the level when Tom's says we grabbed all our stuff. Tom would go down to the desk of whatever. You know, we were staying near the airport. So these are not like, these weren't like luxury sweets, you know? And he's like, can I have the luggage cart?
Starting point is 00:24:26 And the guy was like, I don't know, man. I might need it later. Fuck their voices. Island time is a real thing, dude. Island time is, dude, the first one, the craziest one, the one that made me fucking lose my mind was we get to a hotel.
Starting point is 00:24:43 They were price gouging, right? Which I was expecting because they knew that there was now a high need for rooms. So they were like, oh, this $100 a night hotel? It's $1,800. They're like, what the fuck? So we get to this hotel and most hotels have a 3 or 4 p.m. you know, check-in time. So we had a 4 p.m. guaranteed check-in.
Starting point is 00:25:06 All right. So we get there at 2. And the guys are, well, the room's not ready. I'm like, I know. So four o'clock? He's like, yeah, four o'clock. I was like, okay. So we go, we have lunch,
Starting point is 00:25:14 and then we're just trying to like, just, you know, give the kids something to do. Now it's like 3.45. So I go, I'm going to go check on the room. So I go to the front desk, and this time it's a lady. And I go, hey, I'm just checking on my room. And she's like, yes, not ready.
Starting point is 00:25:28 I go, but it'll be ready in 15 minutes. And she was like, what? I go, well, four o'clock. She's like, no. I go, but it's a guaranteed four o'clock checking. And she goes, yeah, it's not. And I go, well, when will it be ready then? Like, 4.30?
Starting point is 00:25:44 She's like, I don't know. I go, that's not, I don't know. That's not like a real answer. Yeah. Like, can you give me a window? And she goes, I don't feel comfortable giving you a window. And I go, why? She goes, because it's in the queue to get clean, but it's not, they haven't gotten to it.
Starting point is 00:26:00 I go, so, but like, 445, it'll be ready. She was like, I don't know. I go, that's crazy. What do you mean? Like, you have to have some idea of when. And it's already been paid for. And she goes, I just don't feel comfortable. And then she would just look at me like.
Starting point is 00:26:15 And I'm like, you have to say something. You have to take, you have to say five o'clock. And she's like, I don't know. And as I'm like getting ready to go like, this is crazy, a guy in the lobby starts playing the steel drums. So. You're like, oh. Then it like, it snaps you out of you.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Like, oh, this is a comedy right now that I'm in. This is silly. It's silly. Okay, I'll just, I'll walk away. Well, too, and like all our bags are being held. So, like, you know, you go to the gift shop. You buy bathing suits for your kids. Like, just throw them in the pool for a couple of hours in this place.
Starting point is 00:26:55 And then, yeah, it's all, it was an adventure. I have to say our little guys held up really well. It's really stressful for, like, small kids to be. I think that's the thing. If it was just the two of us, it's a totally different thing. Yeah. It's just with. With kids, you're just kind of like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:27:11 Because they keep going like, when are we going home? And you're like, I actually don't know. You just try to throw something at them to distract them. Yeah. They don't have chicken nuggets. Like, no, dude, I don't know. Where are we? We're nowhere.
Starting point is 00:27:25 They don't got shit here, homie. But I think it's a good lesson, right, to teach them resilience. And, you know, we got stuck in London during the Heathrow fires, the two boys and me last spring. And, you know, they were. were troopers too. We hung out. We had to fly home all fucked up too
Starting point is 00:27:43 and they just, you just throw them an iPad and some snacks. Thankfully, they're at the age now where iPad and candy goes a long way. You just hear some roadblocks, dude. Yeah, fine. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Shut up. Because it will not stop talking, dude. Like, they just talk. I feel like we're at this stage of parenthood where it's just listening to motherfuckers talk all day. Remember when like when you have babies, you're like, I can't wait until this guy talks. All I want is to hear what this guy has to say.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Say some words. Express yourself. Yeah. Fast forward seven, 10 years. And you're like, but you shut the fuck up ever? Do you ever stop talking? To ever shut the fuck up. Now that the holidays are over, you might be feeling like you've got a big spending hangover.
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Starting point is 00:29:06 at mintmobile.com slash mom. That's mintmobile.com slash mom. Limited time offer, upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months. Plan required, $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra, initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy, capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage vary. See mintmobile.com. It's the time of the year to reflect on how far you've come and how much further you want to go. With the new year here, it's time to let go of the excuses and start your business with Shopify. We've been using Shopify to power our merch store for years, and they've made selling merch so easy. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to brands like ours here at YMH.
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Starting point is 00:30:47 We're here in South Beach to provide income tax and IRS services to high net worth athletes and entertainers who have many serious IRS problems. So this guy, I was like, I remember seeing this. I was like, this is kind of a crazy marketing tool. like a human doll
Starting point is 00:31:03 inside it Rolls Royce and he's talking about tax issues and you're like all right it's kind of a character and then I've seen like so much more he's really opened up
Starting point is 00:31:17 like his life on IG you get to know him better like this is also him oh DR yeah But again, this is his accountant page. He's like, I'm, do you have IRS trouble?
Starting point is 00:31:40 Yo, can I tell you. I'm so, I'm so silly. I didn't notice that was him. It's him. He's got a great head of hair. He really does. Oh, are you kidding me? And he's slicked back in the first one.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Babs. Great. And he's also, again, he's a professional, but he's letting you know, I'm in DR, my package is about to fall off too many big asses to satisfy. And you're like, hey, that's my guy. That's the guy who got me an extension on my taxes this year. You know what I mean? Then he's like, I'm looking at my arms right now, and I'm like, I haven't lifted in three months. I don't want arms this big.
Starting point is 00:32:28 He's doing a humble brag here. Also, the room is chaos. This room is chaos. Yeah, what's he got going? A lot of supplements. A lot of vitamins and supplements, sunglasses, there's just shit everywhere. I mean, also, to be fair, Mike, my room, same. I have a lot of stuff out, too.
Starting point is 00:32:45 It's hard to keep organized. Maybe if I was like, hey, you should come see me about some of your financial issues, I would probably, you know, move things around. But still. Because I'm running the Miami Hemp Marathon. I want small arms. right now. You get it? I don't want big... Oh, the burden of my muscular arms as I run.
Starting point is 00:33:07 He's too hot. He's got too many fat asses to satisfy in DR. This guy's got problems. Yeah, man. Do you got any tax trouble? How am I got mine? I mean, I don't know what to do. I haven't done a push-up. I haven't done a chin-ups. I haven't done anything. I haven't lived there waiting three months. This video is just about the fact that my arms look great and I haven't done anything to make them look great. He hasn't done a chin-ups-in-month, but he's so swole. I love that.
Starting point is 00:33:38 It's fantastic. He's on my Instagram asked me, how do you think these Gen Z spend their time? Well, I can tell you, they're wasting it every day. And so then he also does this kind of like perfect. But I'm saying what I like about Mike is that he's showing you everything. He's giving you his full life. He's well-rounded.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Yeah. And I think this is the trend. on Instagram now. Like I follow other attorneys actually who show you like a day in the life of an immigration lawyer and what they, you know, the fitness routine. But it's nice that he's honest
Starting point is 00:34:09 and he's not showing you the facade. Like he's like, no, no, no, I go to DR, I dry hump fat ass chicks. I'm running the thing. My arms are too swole. Like I love it. I wish more people would be this transparent. He deals with sometimes he gets haters
Starting point is 00:34:25 in his comments in some of his posts. he just goes like, what's your body fat percentage? He just shits on them like that. That's great. He did a post recently where he challenged people to try to beat him, I think it was like in a 5K or something, he offered them $10,000 if you could beat him. I was like, you know, people are going to,
Starting point is 00:34:48 someone's going to lock into that. Somebody's going to take him up on that, yeah. But I prefer, I prefer this to the guy that pretends be normal and then behind closed doors, right? Like, you know what you're getting. It's kind of guy you get in. This is the guy you get in. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Yeah. He does look great. It looks great. He's 62. Jeez. Scroll down. Hold on. There's going to be one where it looks like he's wearing like a scroll down.
Starting point is 00:35:17 He's holding cash. He's got like a oversized shirt on. A little more. He's always archival stuff. Yeah, it might be gone. Oh. You know, he probably took that down because he was like, shit, 10 grand's a lot to give away. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Yeah. Yeah. Look at that hair, dude. Look at that hair. It's a lot of, crazy. 10 grand to beat him. Wow. Look at the one underneath that, though.
Starting point is 00:35:47 The one underneath that's got like a, look at that hair, bro. Incredible. Incredible. Yeah, you should bring the style back for sure. That's my accountant, man. You talk about Mike, my accountant? This guy got me $3,300 back to see. year.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Look at him. That's great. Look at that pony. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. He looks fantastic. He shows you everything, man.
Starting point is 00:36:10 But he's got a great life. He's got bitches. He's got muscles. He's doing it. Mm-hmm. Ooh, dark beard. I like you better without the beard. Yeah, or a gray beard, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:20 There you go. You like him clean-shaving. Yeah. That's a, look at that. That was a real sexy. That was a nice one. Yeah. Oh.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Yeah. Yeah. That tiger, dude. Man. Diamond. It's fucking cool, right? Dude, he's got a diamond panther, bro. It's fucking badass.
Starting point is 00:36:38 It's so Miami. He's such a Miami guy. Yeah. Really cool. I have a question. Sure. What's the difference between a 1099 and a W2? Great question.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Glad you asked. Differences, W2 is for an employee. 1099 is for an independent contract. And the great thing about 1099 is you can take expenses against that that you can't take if you're just an employee, they'll be two employee for a company. You could take like travel, cell phone,
Starting point is 00:37:08 home office deduction, rent. You know what else you could deduct? You could deduct the boat that you chartered and the women that you hired to make this video. Those would be examples of something you could deduct. So that's pretty cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:25 I love him. I love this guy. I do too. I feel like he grew up the son of immigrants. You know what I mean? I think he's got a lot more swag and flavor, and his mother was like, you must go and become tax attorney is good money. And he's like, all right, mom.
Starting point is 00:37:41 But his heart is like a record guy. Like he should be like an A&R guy or something, right? It feels like, I mean, he loves the party, obviously. Yeah. This guy was meant to be like a promoter or something. Yeah. You were reading a safety protocol book when we started. Situational awareness.
Starting point is 00:38:01 Yeah. Oh, there's tons of good stuff. There's a lot of good stuff there. It's all really valuable. Let me find. Okay, so if you want to go to dinner out with your family. Okay. When choosing a restaurant, take a moment to assess its basic safety and security measures.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Look for visible surveillance cameras. This is when you're just going to a restaurant with your kids. Sprinkler systems. So you look around. Yep. Emergency exits and firefighter. extinguishers. Right. Add could also be an improvised weapon. I remember that from a previous video. As I'd mentioned before, I started working in the elevator industry back in the mid to late 80s. And one of the buildings we had on service was the Galleria. And in 1991, we had gotten a call
Starting point is 00:38:52 that there was an accident. We responded to the call. And later on, we found out this is what had happened. Now, this is clearly a horrible, tragic accident. But it is a reminder that when you go into a building with your family and with children that are adventurous and they're always looking and climbing, you have to do your best to check the windows, the doors, the safety rails. Anything else that could be in hazard, please don't make an assumption that everything is fine. You have to give it a visual inspection yourself. Well, that's great because in his book, lesson three protective strategies for safe family travel,
Starting point is 00:39:38 developing a warrior mindset. That's number one. You've got to adopt a proactive approach. You've got to anticipate potential threats. When I travel with family, I like to think of combat. Like that's how I go into a vacation mode thing. Alert.
Starting point is 00:39:55 I think of, yeah, I think of, you know, you know, Afghanistan, Iraq, like places where there's like hostility. And I go, that's how we're going to approach this vacation. And so does he. Rolling Threat Assessment. You always want to be on high alert. Tactical positioning. You got to place yourself in locations that maximize your safety and visibility. He has one here. Check this out. This is another one. Get this guys. You got to get that book. You got to get it. Remember this video from a few weeks ago? I just wanted to revisit it again because it's a great explanation of pre-event indicators. You can see this guy blades his body, makes a fist, and tees off and hits this guy. In my book, I cover about 40 different
Starting point is 00:40:39 pre-event indicators. All that will help you see the signs before it happens. Remember, always give yourself enough time and distance to try and make a safe decision. Yeah. So I've never heard the term pre-event indicators. He's got 40 pre-event indicators. Correct. Number five is predatory movement patterns, right? Like this guy's making a predatory movement pattern. Frantic pacing. It looks like a guy walking, but I got it. Also, is he wearing underwear? Are you on alert? Okay. Is that a nude man just wearing shoes? Because that would definitely be a pre-event indicator. If it was just a guy in a t-shirt, I'd be like, this guy's about to do some shit. He's got shoes and a t-shirt on. Fidgeting? This guy with his dick out walking towards me is alarming. Yeah, fidgeting often serves as an unconscious outlet for nervous energy and kids signal that an individual is experiencing stress or mentally preparing for potential conflict. See fidgeting, frantic pacing, predatory movement, lack of underwear, panting or increased breathing.
Starting point is 00:41:48 All this stuff you can get in situational awareness by Lawrence Betts. Check this out. Prepared? Yeah, man. Not paranoid. This is really valuable stuff, guys. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty good stuff.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Oh, hold on. Hold on. Here's a good one, guys. I don't know if you've seen this. It's just kind of a warning gang colors or clothing, too. You want to take a quick point to that? Now, that's a good pre-event indicator that your day is about to go sideways, right? If you see someone like that, really clowns.
Starting point is 00:42:23 We're wearing X's, X. Like Malcolm, maybe? Could be. All those clowns love them. Love it. So this is another one. This applies to you, I think, more than anyone. You should probably pay attention here. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Hey, everybody. We all love our pets. Take a look at these videos. You can see animals are true gifts. And it's up to us to help take care of them. So a few things when you have pets. I'm sure you're aware of it, But pet theft, there's over two million pets that are stolen every year.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Jesus Christ. We love our pets. Do what you could do to help protect them. If you're taking your pets out and about as a service animal maybe, really be aware of escalator safety. I would prefer to see you take them on an elevator. And if you do take them on an elevator, make sure you're always holding the leash. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Back when I was an elevator mechanic, I had gotten a couple of calls. where the dog had gone into the elevator and the leash was on the ground. And because the leash was so low, I get it. The safety never picked up the leash. So the doors had closed, the elevator with the dog in the elevator,
Starting point is 00:43:58 the elevator would go up, but the leash would be outside. I get it. I got it. Everything was operating correctly. It's just that thin leash was not high enough to reopen the doors. So if you're taking your dog out and about, keep the leash up, you don't want to lose your pet. be well be safe take care of your pets oh that's a nice image to go on with the day with thanks larry
Starting point is 00:44:21 explosions i'd actually never once in my life thought of a dog's leash getting caught in an elevator it's happened twice it's happened twice uh wow i didn't i think our pets are too stupid to do anything of any value like our cats aren't going to help us out when the gas oh my god if the gas is going to or an intruder? No, they're going to take off. Those are just German shepherds specifically, trained. Yeah. Smart dogs.
Starting point is 00:44:52 That's pretty wild. That's wild, dude. Wow. Mm-hmm. The leash. And the escalator I get, man. Those are dangerous. Even kids can get caught under the escalator, you know?
Starting point is 00:45:03 They get pulled in or something. Oh, my God. Danger, man. Danger's everywhere, Tom. Danger is fucking everywhere, dude. And I hate just going about my life pretending like it's not constantly there. So it's good to have him to remind us that we're constantly in danger like that. We're in danger at all times. All times. You're sure a cute kid. You know, I'm a professional
Starting point is 00:45:28 photographer. Come on, hop in the car. I'll take your picture. If someone wants to take your picture, say no and tell your parents. You tell anybody about our little secret? I'll kill your dog. Children should never be asked to keep special secrets from their parents. Remember this shit? Do you remember this from your childhood? Of course, of course. Yeah. So good.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Stranger Danger. Dude, I'm going to show this to our kids ASAP. I'll tell you which one they'll love. That guy sound like Kirk Fox. Do you need the first one? Yeah. Kirk could play that role 100%. What's this boy?
Starting point is 00:46:08 You know what again? This is to grab the testicles. All right? You have to have power if you grab the testicles to grab them, squeeze and pull. Those in it opening the fingers. The Tigers claw I showed you before was clawing to the eyes, finger pokes, thumb pokes, and pushes. You squeeze on and pull out, squeeze and pull.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Pubic bone bladder area. Thank you, Paul. Oh, go right to that target. Wham! The body center, 360, whoo! Speed. Next, who! Hoo!
Starting point is 00:46:40 Hoo! You should really catch up on some of these. Dude. You really should. This is all accurate and still relevant. Stranger Danger, all this stuff. Stranger Danger is relevant. Pet theft is relevant.
Starting point is 00:46:56 Grab testicles, poke out eyes. It's all relevant. And then when you're done with that, you realize you're back on your taxes, you give Mike a call. It all ties together. This is exactly why we do this show to inform the audience. And you know, I've been watching. Watching these videos on TikTok where these stupid kids go with, they do like a hidden camera thing on the playground. And this guy's like, hey, I got some puppies in my van.
Starting point is 00:47:19 You want to come see the puppies? And these dumb fucking kids are like, yeah, okay, I want to see puppies. And the mother is like, yeah, because you're not showing them. Stranger danger. You're not giving them clear examples of predatory behavior. I would never go with some fool in a van, right? You really should be showing these things to your kids. I'm serious.
Starting point is 00:47:39 I'm serious, too. with the act amounts? Absolutely. Yeah. Hey, kid. If you tell anybody about a secret, I'll kill your dog. That wasn't a commercial.
Starting point is 00:47:50 That was like during the A team. Your fucking Saturday. Or during Saturday morning cartoons. And there's one to grow on. They're going to kill Fluffy? Oh, yeah, dude. They didn't fuck around. Or Mr. T would tell you what's up, too.
Starting point is 00:48:04 Yeah. Tell you. He would fucking tell you, dude. Guess who, got together. Who? Two. One cool guy that we've literally spent time with and one that we've sort of been our white whale
Starting point is 00:48:21 that we've just never been able to. They actually got together. Yes. I have a beautiful penis. I am so powerful that energy's moving through me right now. It's amazing. Yeah, Montaccia and Will got together. It's really crazy.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Rop, rap. Yeah. Can you imagine the penis power in that room? Oh my God. I still think you're crazy if you wouldn't let Montok make love to you once. Like imagine the skill set this guy has. You don't think it's like otherworldly. You always say this.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Rostruck. And you get badina like an egg. You put an egg in your oven. Okay. I got it. Thanks. and the man his throat
Starting point is 00:49:14 he pulled the testicle down so he had complete control yeah do you think you're not aroused not at all okay I'd rather do the gay guys do you think Will
Starting point is 00:49:29 was like I finally met the one other guy that gets it like he gets me he gets it yeah there's nothing that Will talks about that Montag wouldn't be like
Starting point is 00:49:41 yeah of course except for maybe jerking off into his own mouth I don't know if Montauk does that. I think he crosses a couple lines. You don't know that. We just haven't seen those videos yet. This is true. I don't know this.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Because I think Montauk sees that as very powerful energy. That's why you conserve it. The rap, rap, rap, rap. And when it's out of you, that thing's potent. It's concentrated. man i would give anything to be a fly on the wall at those two talking and do you think montaq knows all of will's work like those are two masters it should come together i don't think montaq consumes any social media no that's definitely somebody him somebody's running that all that stuff for him
Starting point is 00:50:38 for sure yeah that's too bad yeah god those two together i would that's electric i would pay money just to be in the same room and feel that energy yeah it's miraculous I have to bring something to your attention, though. While I was out, you did a podcast and one of the clips went viral. We both agree on is that we both don't like pot. I got tired of having to tell bartenders that worked for me. You can't walk outside during your shift and smoke fucking pot in front of the bar. Do you understand I'd yell at you if I saw you drinking right now?
Starting point is 00:51:12 Friends going, oh, we got to drive to the mall. Let me just take a quick hit. Fuck you, dude. you're driving me. It bothers me that people think it's so different from alcohol. If I was about to drive you somewhere and I go, hold on, let me take a quick shot. That's true. This is a big argument that me and Max girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Man, it got people fired the fuck out. Fired up. Matt at Joe for hating pot. I got to double down with Joe and say that I agree with him. I hate pot, not so much for societal reasons, but I have tried so hard to get into pot personally. And I just get paranoid and fat and sad and am. angry. You guys are dorks. You guys are dorks and you guys are wrong. You guys are lame. But he's right. You're impaired. It still impairs you. Do you want your driver? You're not impaired. You're not impaired. You're enlightened.
Starting point is 00:52:00 And there's a difference. There's a difference between being impaired and enlightened. You wouldn't mind your your Uber driver, taking a ballroom. I wouldn't mind our kids bus driver taking a couple of hits because I know he's going to be in the zone. And that's what it's all about. Getting in the zone. Okay. I like being in the zone. Now, I'm not a hardcore consumer, but I do like, I do like it. I like a little bit. I like it in the evenings. I like it to wind down. I like opening up my third eye and my fourth one. And your brown eye. Yeah. They're both good. I think, I think I'm a square too. I agree with Joe on this one. Like, I don't like people. Well, here's the thing. And the loser potheads will say, well, but you drive better when you're high. You actually go slower.
Starting point is 00:52:52 But here's the thing, you have to make a distinction, though. Jesus, you have to make a distinction about, are you talking about stoned out of your mouth hanging open blitzed? Are you talking about just like a little bit here and there, which to a lot of people, it like, it takes down their anxiety. It does help them focus. Yeah, I mean, it has different effects on different. people. I know. And some people who are really hyperactive, it mellows them out. Yeah, it does. Yeah. It causes disconnection, I think, with people around you too, or connection, but mostly disconnection. I don't know. I never liked it culturally. I don't like all tight. We're not all booze bags like you. I love alcohol. Now, let's talk about something good alcohol.
Starting point is 00:53:40 I don't like pothead music. I don't like the Grateful Dead. Sorry. I don't like their art. I don't like they're glowing dark posters. Could you be any more disrespectful? Bob, we just died. Could you just like actually... I don't like your lava lamps. I don't like your stupid bean bag chairs. I don't like futons.
Starting point is 00:54:03 I don't like any... Here's the thing. If they could make pot culture cooler, maybe I'd be on board. Like, can we put some dark colors in the vibe? Like if Peter Murphy were a pot head? You're just saying basically, can pot be goth? then I'll like it.
Starting point is 00:54:17 A thousand times, yes. If Robert Smith were a pot head, I'd be like, cool. But they're not, because nobody I like is a major pot head. Anthony Bourdain, heroin. It's glamorous. It's better. Alcohol. Alcohol is better.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Alcohol is for grownups. Pot is for teenagers. I mean, I like alcohol, too, but I do like, I just, I'm saying, for me, I like my, I'm still 10-milly-tum. I still enjoy it. That's how I wind down. I told you that I feel much better in social situations when I do that. And I'm the opposite.
Starting point is 00:54:55 For me, my body chemistry, it flips me out. I want to crawl into a hole and die. I can't do it. I can't do it. I wish I could be. Maybe it's just, you're taking too strong of a dose, though. Oh, that's, I don't know. And then my brain is fried the next day.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Alcohol, I like alcohol. It's grownups. It's more socially sanctioned. It's glamorous. You've got cool names for the drinks, not stupid names. You know, Potta's name dumb things like white lightning or white widow or fashion purple haze or some fucking gay shit. It's a bad culture. It needs a rebrand. It needs a rebrand.
Starting point is 00:55:35 Why don't you take a lead on that? Why don't you rebrand it? I destroy that industry so fast. I make it so uncool. I wanted to tell you specifically something because I drove for the school field trip for the first grade field trip to the garbage dump. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Because I don't trust other people driving my children around when they're really little like that. So I drove Julian's first grade class to the garbage dump. And it's so smelly too. Yeah, my jacket reeks. Everything smells like trash now. But don't say what did our first graders say when you're on your way there? He's like, I don't want to go to the fucking dump.
Starting point is 00:56:24 What a stupid field trip. This is a shitty field trip. Who wants to go see garbage? It is kind of funny. It's a funny thing to say. It's really funny. He gets it. He's like garbage.
Starting point is 00:56:35 But I wanted to see garbage because I'm interested. I've been talking about trash collectors forever on YMH, the FedEx drivers, the UPS drivers, and trash collectors. Those are my interests, right? So I finally, I'm looking at this big pile of trash and I'm watching the machines sort it and I get my hands on the employee who's been there the longest. And I was like, all right, dude, tell me everything. First of all, how many bodies do you find a year in the trash? And he goes, no, we don't find full bodies. We find an arm here, a leg, here.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Professionals. Yeah. And he goes. That's how professionals do it. That's right. And he goes, never the head. For some reason we don't get the heads. They always cut off the limbs and put them in the trash.
Starting point is 00:57:20 And he goes, well, you know the mafia started the garbage business. And I was like, oh, yeah, waste management. He's like, that's the way they got rid of bodies early. And I was like, oh, my God, I never put that together. Like, duh, that's the best way to get rid of it. You got to chop them up. You got to chop them up. And so he goes, yeah, so we'll find an arm here.
Starting point is 00:57:40 And then, like, the leg will be somewhere else up north or something. And he's like, it's a real hassle though, because the cops get involved and they come down. We had to shut everything down and deal with that. So I thought you liked that. And then I was asking him, like, what time did the garbage men start work?
Starting point is 00:57:56 He said, 4 a.m. They're out collecting the trash. I know. And then I asked him, well, why did they do it? He's like, I'm telling you, all the men on the trucks, they love their jobs. They got big smiles on their faces. They love their job.
Starting point is 00:58:08 I believe it. I do too. And I'm like, well, what do they love? What is it? He goes, well, personally, he's like my mother was in the waste management business for 27 years
Starting point is 00:58:19 my stepdad was in this like my family is from this business and he's like they gave you a lot of time off apparently it pays well and you get to have like a life outside of your job so that makes perfect sense to me and they've also liked the you know he gave me this thing like well we're helping the community yeah right which I agree with too
Starting point is 00:58:37 but I thought that was pretty fascinating like who really fucking cares you know I think that was just him I'm trying to like, oh, this stupid first grade mom is like, I can tell her that we give a fuck about trash or whatever. I'm like, okay, tell me about the bodies. You know, there was this, there was this hit crew in New York. They were Brooklyn based, and this guy had this method. So they kept, they would always contract him to do their kills because he would take, he would kill somebody. And then he would take them and string them up over a bathtub with their feet in the air.
Starting point is 00:59:09 And he knew where to make this incision where he would bleed him out. out because the thing is like there's so much blood bleed them out in the tub and so there was no blood left in the body and then he would chop them up brilliant like yeah brilliant and then that's one of the things he told me at the trash collection site they don't accept fluids of any kind there you go lighter fluids flammable things like that and I was like that's crazy that's a real hazard yeah I didn't know that you know how stupid I am I probably just throw that shit right in the trash and be like oh I don't care like I throw everything in the trash don't you?
Starting point is 00:59:43 I think most people, I think a lot of people do. Yeah. I think so too. But you're supposed to dispose of things that are like toxic or dangerous in a different way. That's what he said. I'm like, well, what should I do if I have like a bottle of lighter fluid? A bunch of lighter fluid. And he's like, well, you should call the fire department and have them. I'm like, there's nobody doing that, dude.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Everybody's throwing that shit right in the trash. In the trash. Of course they are. Yeah, dog. But what they do is they go, I don't want it in my trash. We'll take it to somebody else's trash. That's exactly. I did.
Starting point is 01:00:17 And I go, how many dead animals you find in here? I'm sure people just throw their fucking dogs and cats in there. He's like, oh, we see a few of those too. I'm like, oh. But the human stuff I thought was pretty cool. Yeah, that means, you know, and when you're seeing parts, that's a pro job. That's not an accident, man. No.
Starting point is 01:00:36 That's a professional job, yeah. So here's what we've decided to do you and me. You drain, you hang the body upside down. in the tub, but the body's heavy. How was he able to lift the body? I think he came up with a system for doing that. Like a pulley. You would use a pulley.
Starting point is 01:00:53 Yeah. Exactly. Like the Dutch. They pulley things up. It's one of those bathrooms where you go into and you go, why do you have a pulley system above your bathtub? Oh, I do, I work out. It's just a workout thing I'm doing.
Starting point is 01:01:07 I just do it. I do it and then I shower. And so I like to, I get sweaty and then I jump in the shower. It's my tonal. That's weird. And then can you saw through bone pretty easily, you think? I don't think it's easy. No.
Starting point is 01:01:22 No, right? I don't think it's easy. I think, no, for sure, it's not easy. I mean, hands, like, just, like, grinding through it. I mean, you could do it, but it probably takes a lot. I'm sure if you get something electric powered, it makes it a lot easier. Cut off hands, arms. You know, you probably do what, like, at the knee.
Starting point is 01:01:40 Yeah, you want it to be, like, just a torso. and the limb, the legs you want to cut into two. And then for ID, you know, you want to obviously take all the teeth out. That's a pain in the ass. You got to get like a, you know, a tool to rip each and every one of the teeth out. And then if you really want people to not figure out who it was, you want to, you know, do something to the fingertips. So you want to have fingerprints. Yeah. It's a pain in the ass, man. That's such a, that's the hardest way. I would just buy a, like, for instance, in the interview with a vampire TV show I was watching, Tom. Are you listening to me?
Starting point is 01:02:13 They had their own crematorium. They just bought like... Well, that's the best. Yeah. And it was in New Orleans and you just have it like in the backyard and then you just incinerate the bodies. And I could be like, well, it's my family business. I don't know what businesses off the top of my head need some type of incinerator.
Starting point is 01:02:33 But if you were able to develop a viable business that uses an incinerator and then you could double it for like just dumping by. body's into, that's the best. That's what I would encourage someone to do. Yeah, it's like when you do ceramics and you're like, I have to fire this bowl. Like you don't have a ceramics kiln at your house. You go and you go to like the nearest arts and craft center and you go, can I fire my ceramic bowl in your kiln? Like that's what you're kind of saying. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So what I'm saying is develop a system where you're like, I make vases and glass, you know, sculpture. That's why I have all this stuff.
Starting point is 01:03:13 They need to be fired. Wait, bring it back to that screen you're talking about. I saw the distinction between wet bone. How hard is... Farms. I saw farms there. Some farms use an incinerator. That's cool. You could do that. You know, I grow corn.
Starting point is 01:03:31 Josh, Google, how hard is it to cut through bone? Because you need to specialize soft. Hey, I says, cutting through bone can be challenging. It's a real challenge. Do your best. What were the businesses that you had up there? Because this is really where you want people to focus. Hospitals, vet clinics, farms, ranches, and zoos, military bases.
Starting point is 01:04:01 I think the most accessible thing for somebody who's looking to do something like this is a farm. I was going to get a farm. You can get a farm or a ranch. A ranch. You can't be like, I'm opening a municipal building. I'm starting my own pharmaceutical company. You know, you can get a farm. Yeah, or, yeah, dude.
Starting point is 01:04:20 Like, you open a fucking ranch out here in Texas. You just drive 20 minutes outside of Austin. He's got nothing to land. People are like, what's up with the incinerator? And you're like, I have a bunch of crops that go bad. You got to do something with them. I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, cows drop dead all the time.
Starting point is 01:04:37 You got to do that. Yeah, what are we supposed to do, man? Yeah, you got to incinerate them. How long do you think it is until our youngest child starts doing shit like this? Rondeau, I'm outside today. Where are you at, pussy? You pussy ass, bitch. You ain't shit. Fuck you, Rondo. Fuck you. Come fight me, pussy. I'll come beat your ass, you motherfucker. You ain't shit.
Starting point is 01:05:02 Yeah, dude. Hell yeah, dude. Good. Tell him what's up. That's a kid. He's got the low angle in the car. Yeah. Fucking pussy. Yeah. Come outside, bitch.
Starting point is 01:05:15 Yeah. Where did you grow up? This is normal for me in the 818 growing up. This is not too crazy. Yeah, for sure. The junior high school I liked to. Kids were saying crazy shit in junior high. Junior high is the wildest.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Don't you feel like that's the peak craziness? Yeah. I saw a lot of crazy shit in middle school. And then my high school kind of tapers out. Well, depends there's kids that definitely ramp it up in high school but yeah i know what you're saying in middle school you don't know what these emotions are you're just you're just like you're just full of feelings you don't know you know i mean you kind of learn as you get a little older how to deal with things
Starting point is 01:05:55 yeah did you ever make a video like this to some guy no hell no but we didn't have that we weren't you know but i know you i'm sure i would have yeah like you had a camcorder though didn't you recorded yourself like lip syncing Yes yes Yeah All that stuff Horrifying
Starting point is 01:06:13 So embarrassing Oh my god Yeah I would fucking kill myself If I could see those It's so embarrassing It's making me nervous right now Oh I know
Starting point is 01:06:24 It's just starting sweating Just thinking about it Nothing worse Yeah but if I were a kid now That would be so much worse So much worse Oh my fucking God do.
Starting point is 01:06:37 All right, part dog. I've got to... I love you. I've got to get ready and I've got to go in the office. You got to go saw some bones. You've got to dispose of some vads.
Starting point is 01:06:49 Got to make an offer on a ranch. Okay, sweetie. I love you. All right. Love you. Thank you guys for watching and listening. Thank you for dealing with our new remote setup. But we'll try to do it as much as we can, man.
Starting point is 01:07:04 All right. fun. Peace God. Love you. Allah. Bye guys. Al-A-Q-Bah. Al-A-Bah! No,
Starting point is 01:07:39 The man, just cut the grass, ready for Tufon Sipping on the beer, token up the gun, just cut the grass, ready for Tufon No, let me ask you. We have the right producer on this track. It could slap, right? I mean, Hey, ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 01:07:58 That's cut to the smaller. I don't realize that was in the field. Token up a gun, just cut the grass, ready for to fun. Oh, sitting on a beard, choking up the gun, just cut the grass, ready for some fun, fun. Wow. So that's not a coincidence that I'm triggered. You really like to put his rap out there.
Starting point is 01:08:28 Well, you know, when you're an artist and you do it for just the love of the game, nothing can stop you.

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